#getting better at my job
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Just because you don't love yourself it doesn't mean I will stop loving you.
#my art#goro akechi#persona 5#shuake#p5r#ren amamiya#persona 5 royal#akeshu#for some reason i wrote a dif caption on all socmed#i like them all#u know me and my poetry and shuake i cant stop coming up w lines so oh well collect them all#twt tumblr and bsky#twt and tumblr are similar#oh right i have never told ppl i have either of those here#tumblr is my true home so i forget#anw enjoy my tablet pen is dying and replacement is 350 euros cause its a wacom display tablet from 2013-17 and yeah. fuck me :)#cant even say i will do comms to pay for a new one cause its maddening to draw on it rn#idk how i managed to draw this one - passion for shuake ig#ok thats too much rambling even for me oops#its been a bad week lots of expenses for someone who quit her job to do a post grad on my savings lol#im getting better though
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Saw a post about working class butches in physical labour jobs and wanted to make my own, so: I love you butches who do childcare or early education. I love you butch nurses. I love you butch house cleaners and janitorial staff. I love you service industry butches. I love you butches who do sex work. I love you working class butches who do “feminine” jobs you are cool as hell
#butch#lgbtqia#lesbian#its me im butches doing stereotypically feminine work#when I was nannying full time I kind of thought of it as I was doing Nanny Gender#like especially bc I wore mostly dresses then for practicality reasons#which gave me The Dysphorias but yeah. my way of navigating that was to get a little fluid with it.#also even tho they don’t get perceived as such: all of these jobs are as physically demanding as many ‘physical’ jobs#like girly at least when I worked in a warehouse/delivery bay I got to sit down#look I could probably think of a better term than ‘physical labour’ but like. you know what I mean.#anyway. sometimes you have those I am uncomfortable when we are not about me moments#and then you remember that you can just go talk about your experience
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happy pride month
#naegami#makoto naegi#byakuya togami#danganronpa#trans byakuya#polaris polanski#that post is ff naegami to me to a terrifyingly accurate degree#makoto and his wife who wants him to quit his job#byakuya casually dropping bombshells on a shell-shocked and exhausted man#and then daydreaming about a better life they could have together while makoto's still reeling with the implications#if i reconcile my bizarro upbringing and my convoluted perception of gender roles and current position in this foundation#the only way i can get him to leave on his own volition is to marry him. in a straight way. bc we're both straight. what if i was a girl#makoto's resigning himself to being ff's dog for the forseeable future. meanwhile byakuya is doing the same but also having egg emotions#not featured: kyoko who was sitting on the opposite side of makoto and was in the middle of a conversation with him. that got interrupted#she immediately downs her shot after byakuya says that out loud and texts the other survivors who each owe her $10. toko owes her $20#tgirl egg byakuya in her 20s in an apocalypse as a middle manager is a very specific headcanon that i enjoy a lot#only thing keeping her going is her bisexuality and the reminder that 'i went off the grid while crossdressing before i can do it again'#my arts
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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#was looking for some fics with these two#I imagine this is one of their first interactions and Hunter is already fed up with Darius#but Darius is just trying to get to know the successor of his mentor and check if he's at least a little bit capable of doing his job#he's also a little weirded out by the similarity between these two#basically I imagine Darius gave him a couple of vibe checks that Hunter had failed#and Hunter takes it as questoning his place in the coven#god darius design is so pink and awful#it's so jover uni starts tommorow#it's like the most boring drawing ever but I'm just still in my I have to get better at backgrounds era#and also if I'll draw 100 awful things I get a decent one eventually#it's like inktober but lasts your whole life and devours your soul in the process#no caption just pure tags now I understand those few people who keep reblogging all my tags cuz I give all the fucking context there#there's probably like 10 things I would spot tommorow that would fix the drawing a whole bunch but I just ...don't want to ig#the owl house#sheerak#the golden guard#darius deamonne#hunter toh#toh hunter#hunter deamonne#toh fanart#the owl house fanart#dadrius#not yet but#you guys most fellow toh fanartists moved on and fanart fiona and cake but I keep brainrotting the same stuff over and over#good old toh trashpile
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Maybe you could call it Reunited Stans AU?
Also, how do you think the gravity falls locals would see those two? I think Ford would end up getting out of the cabin much more because of Stan. Maybe you could draw them going to town for drinks? I don't know.
I like to think the town locals would either be horrified of them and talk about them as cryptids in their own right, or just be annoyed by their shenanigans
I just remembered they’d be in their early 20s when coming to Gravity Falls haha
But yes they’d definitely start out as “those weird twins that live in the forest” but once Stanley starts feeling like he’s actually safe from that old life Ford pulled him out of, he starts going into the town, which then leads to him dragging Ford along
It’s probably a mix of both, where the town sees them as those odd guys and then also get annoyed by what they do, but also I think they’d think of them as a new endearing staple of their town once the whole “newcomer / stranger” title fades from them. It’d be sort of the same way Stan is in canon with the Mystery Shack, where even though people find him annoying, they also always come to the events.
Also Stanley 😭 your brother does not wanna be in that bar, let him go do nerd things
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#susan wentworth#gravity falls fanart#I like the au name well enough but I feel like there’s still something better just out of reach of my mind#maybe it’ll hit me later#gravity falls au#digital art#my art#procreate#doodle requests#not only was this my first time drawing her but I also had to age her down a few years since the timeline is shifted down HIUDHIOD#maybe Stan gets a job in the town even though he wouldn’t need to since Ford gets that good good research grant money#I should take into account the different ways he looked in A Tale of Two Stans#since he technically wouldn’t have looked the way he did when arriving to Ford’s cabin if Ford took him with him right after college#but I liked the ponytail so 😁😁#let that autistic boy read his book ‼️‼️#figured it out#calling it#monster hunter pines au
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resisting change.
something that will improve your life and make you happy isn't ever gonna be frivolous or pointless. even if it's hard, even if it's scary.
#my art#miller#this is both abt transitioning and also just change in general#getting a better job#moving#etc#furry#anthro
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You missed the mark! (Time Travel)
Extra: Otsutsuki
(they learn Kurama is willingly there)
anndd more sketches to give
#naruto#naruto fanart#kakashi hatake#obito uchiha#sasuke uchiha#sakura haruno#naruto uzumaki#indra otsutsuki#ashura otsutsuki#fanart#art#my art#sketch#drawing#digital art#okay so when they time travel; kurama disappeared much more earlier#(so does the dad but its but a inconvenience🧍♂️… everyone is sweating)#and indra made the decision to be the one to go out in the world#while ashura takes charge back in their home to avoid panic#obito and kakashi are able to handle their abilities better at their ages#the rest are having fun with chakra exhaustion/drain (especially sasuke)#this au is the equivalent of team 7 acting as a family therapist#they do a terrible job (but ironically makes Indra and ashura communicate–#because they know there is something highly wrong with them)#anyways ashura getting the chance to strangle zestu after finding out his plans#other then this this idea is just vibing away#this started off me just liking Indra design haha
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im sorry but i choose to believe that tim drake is the most insufferable "my man, my man, my man" girl about bear. he does not shut up about him. steph is cooking smth in the kitchen? oh my man can do that. bear cooks really well. dick triaging some poor victim on an emergency site? oh my man is really good at that. mhmm, bear is on his way to becoming a paramedic. damian building something? oh my man is really good with power tools. have you ever seen him build ikea? it takes him less than an hour. for our anniversary, he built me a coffee table. mhmm isn't he amazing? yeah my man did that. yeah my man, mhmm that's my ma-
#and on and on and on#like it never fucking stops#jason gets a tattoo? tim manifests in the tattoo parlor to talk about his man's tattoos#'yeah they're sooo gorgeous! he has a grasshopper over his heart cause that's what he calls me! yeah that's like his little nickname for me#'and there's two cardinals in flight on his forearms! isn't that sooo cute!!! he says he's keeping me with him!!!'#and like everyone thought is was cute at first bc like first gay relationship!!! let tim gush about his boyfriend!!!#but then it like quickly and i mean quickly became annoying#like dick puts on his police uniform and tim immediately is like 'have you seen my man in his paramedic uniform? dont his biceps#look so good in it? and he's providing service for those in need without being a pig! isn't my man so great!'#and dick just has to sit there with his eye twitching bc the last time he tried to defend his police job the whole family laughed so hard#they almost cried.#also i hope you know that all of tim's lines are said in a valley girl accent. with the tone of a woman who is so fucking annoying about#her man. like he's the kinda guy at sunday brunch 2 mimosas deep trying to one up bart on like who has the better bf#spoiler alert bart wins only for the sole fact that he's not annoying about kon the way tim is about bear#meanwhile the rest of the group is creating enough of a ruckus that they're like 2 seconds away from getting kicked out of dennys#and while i would like to say that bear knows about this i just think that he has such hearteyes for tim that it completely flies over his#head. like he sees tim and he turns into a fucking idiot. he's putting in the saline line wrong he's doing chest compressions on a guy#who is perfectly fine. he's letting the steak burn on the stove#so theyre like both fucking useless together. and i think that's love.#bernard dowd#tim drake#timbern#timber
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Wrecking Crew + extras
#fanart#my art#super mario#mario#luigi#wrecking crew#princess peach#sketches#i want to get better at art...#so alot of this is experimental than lined#i imagine that in the WC the brothers were super overworked/stressed#and that made their jobs super hard considering they messed up more
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Let the revenge games begin.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangyao#nie huaisang#He's gonna call his 5 horse friends up. They have to go on a 14 year long journey to finish the job but by god they will do it.#The sheer chaos in the Audio Drama is really fantastic. Reminds me of those traincar murder mysteries.#The lights go off and there's a scream and then BOOM dead body. Who did that!!!#Okay it was qi deviation and he did it to stop himself from killing his brother. He did it to himself.#JGY sadly has the worst alibi ever though. Both the strongest motivation and also uhhh presence at the scene.#Not to nitpick but as someone who loves murder mysteries - I do feel like even *one* other suspect would have made it stronger.#I get that he tried to make it look like an inevitable Qi Deviation and that it *is* something within the family legacy.#And a big part of NHS figuring it all out comes down to his own perceptiveness and intelligence.#If you weren't close enough to JGY and NMJ of course it looks like an accident.#Sadly 'guy who plays the 'poor little meow meow card'' is also weak to 'guy who plays the 'poor little meow meow card''.#NHS was the better subtle manipulator at the end. That's probably the strongest mystery part of MDZS. And why he's in my top 5.#My man pulled the 'kill him just as he falls from the top of his game and loses everything' gambit and I love him for it.
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Character Intro:
Julie
Lore dump below:
Okioki so in this AU, Mythic and Man used to be at odds with one another before they formed an alliance but it wasnt always the case even before then.
Demons have always been opportunists so theyd frequently offer their service to humans and even mythics too at times. As time passed, contracts became a demon's life and blood. Its deeply ingrained to their culture, from their coming of age, to their social standing, to their literal power. It became law that demons are required to accomplish ongoing contracts on the surface, otherwise they would be forbidden to return to their home in the underworld. Albeit there are some leniency for demons who have long term contracts, their travel between the two worlds are heavily limited. Demons who have met a certain number of successful deals is given special privilages like being able to access both worlds freely with none of the paperwork required. Literally free travel to hell and back. You can actually tell how many successful deals a demon has made by the markings on their skin.
#i didnt change her design that much#mman i love demons#their whole races' personality is working but like they get the better end of the deal anyway#lile as soon as a young demon turns into their equivalent of 18 y/o they are socially required to get a job#and legally#welcome home#welcome home au#welcome home hvh au#hunter vs hunted au#welcome home julie#julie joyful#digital art#my art#nomi arts
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Doing master studies the only way I know how: Stealing them and making them my guys.
(Barberini Faun)
(The Fallen Angel - Alexandre Cabanel)
(Covent Garden - William Bruce Ellis Rankin)
#obviously. not actually theft...#i was gonna say these are public domain but covent garden actually isnt yet#it will be. in two years.#thats the most different one though like i added a whole new guy..#maybe not the most different. barberini faun is pretty different i just took the post#pose#its barely even a study. thats not true#but. what was i saying.#oh its not theft it's study... the purpose is to learn!!! but also. if im gonna spend like 2 days on something...#its GONNA be my guys#otherwise. idk. i only want to spend 30 or so minutes per study#just to get the notes down and the practice for the skill im working on#i dont get all that much more out of completely rendering a master study. PERSONALLY.#at least definitely not enough to be worth taking 100x longer#but making them my characters makes it worth going all the way!!!#plus it's good practice w like. not just going 1:1 but actually genuinely interpreting whats there so i can manipulate it...#again. personally. this is just how i worm#WORK#youd better worm bitch#uhm... anyways yeah. ive done lots of study but why TF share it LMAO i dont even save it#its just to learn. ive got 1 million other drawings to save and look at later.#once the learning is done it's done its job and i have no need anymore#this is why the only studies i have are from school. i had to save and upload them#well. ok also i dont study as much now BUT in my defense im a full time artist#an hour or so a week is different ok im learning while working too.. i learned how to learn and i do it all the time now#master studies#digital art#my art#illustration#my ocs
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little pout
$app + top surgery fund + wishlist
#my job isn't scheduling me the hours i need to cover my ass this month so i would appreciate help <3#also- big news! thank you all for your help in funding my top surgery- i've finally gotten medicaid so i can finally talk to doctors who#can then give me referrals to surgeons!!!!!!!!!!#with any luck medicaid will help me cover some of it- which is my ideal as any money taken off the 8k sticker is money i Need for recovery#and time off work and food and bills and...#but i should be getting these things chopped in 2025! that's huge! i've been waiting about nine years for this...#i'll update in a post once i actually have a consultation lined up and especially once i have a surgery date#<3#this affects an uncountable number of things in my life for the better#queer nsft#t4t nsft#butch nsft#bd/sm community#dyke nsft#trans butch#t4t ns/fw#ftm nsft#butch bottom#trans ns/fw#trans nsft#tboy nsft#tboy ns/fw#transmasc#transmasc nsft#t4t dyke#fagdyke#dykefag#butch sub#bd/sm boy#bd/sm blog
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Hm. Could've sworn his name was different. Did it ever have one?
#cubbi art#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#timmy turner#my art#chimmy changa#chimmy#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fop#yes yes i know the saying is actually this is THE story of a man named stanley#BUT#for our itty bitties story?#he is not THE story. simply A story#i wanted certain parts to have a greater focus but i realized if i did so then the text wouldnt have been as legible#so i muted everything a bit haha#smacks changa#this bad boy has SO much wrong with him#hoooly shit#chimmy apologists better get their essays locked and loaded for this one#also also#i think i might maybe somehow got a job!!!#so itty bitties may slow down a notch alongside that#hoefully not since im pretty on top of it right now but still !!
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Heads up, in case you've seen the VAs tweets.
I'm the one who informed Reed, Davis, and Kat about the whole situation with users [EDIT 9/1/24, 9:20PM EST: sending anonymous asks and making blogs] planning to send documents to the VAs to complain about harassment in response to the post [EDIT 9/1/24, 9:20PM EST: by Alex] about the harassment. I informed the VAs because I moderate for many of them, and for TSBS on Discord, so I wanted to be sure they were prepared and not confused if someone tried to message them. I also did it to ask what should be done about the topic being brought up on their Discords (as they are not involved in that situation/it is not relating to TSBS or their personal content, it will be removed).
Neither Alex, Ceph, Dana, Witchy, etc. interacted or sent them anything since they posted the documents - they said they're not interacting with the situation anymore, and they are sticking to that. Just so we are clear.
#the sun and moon show#tsams#sams#sams discourse#tsams discourse#getting out ahead of it now#I'd better not see posts like 'oh alex said they wouldn't say anything and then they tattled to the VAs'#they most certainly did not. I professionally brought it up to them because I was doing my job.#Edits are because people very much misinterpreted my post and the VAs tweets to be about sending Alex's document to VAs.
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