#getting back on the angst train

[timeofjuly]

No idea if this is something anyone would vibe with, but here’s a snippet of the reader/SF!Papyrus, reader/SF!sans enemies to lovers reluctant soulmate fic I’ve been chipping away at over the past few weeks. It’s called Wishbone.

You hold out your hand for him to shake. His eyelights laze down towards it for a heartbeat and for a moment, you think he’s not going to take it – the honesty would actually be a little refreshing - but then his spider-like hand raises from his side and takes yours.

The bare bone is cool and pleasantly rough to the touch. You’re struck by the sheer absurdity of touching real, living bone for only a moment, though, because the tactile sensation is almost immediately swept away by an overwhelming tidal wave of ecstasy.

You have no other word to describe it. You feel amazing, warm and safe and so overjoyed that your eyes prickle with hot, happy tears.

You haven’t felt this good since Marlo died. Before that, even.

Or maybe you’ve never felt this good at all.

The feeling ripples out from your point of contact and floods into your chest, crashing against your heart and filling it with sunshine. You’re struck dumb. Your PR-perfected poised expression falls, leaving behind a slackened mouth and wide-open eyes.

It’s like you’re only the joy, so overwhelmed by it that it’s scooped you clean out of your own body.

There’s a sharp, ragged inhale of breath from the monster in front of you and, through the glorious, summer’s day haze of your delight, you wonder foggily how a skeleton can gasp without lungs.

The brief, rational scrap of thought flings your brain back into your body. You rip your hand from the monster’s grip and the happiness falls away with it. Conscious thought rushes in to replace the ecstasy and, acting on three years of honed, blade-sharp instincts, you call upon your magic.

[kittykatninja321]

My less popular opinion (and what I believe to be implied by the art in Lost Days) is that rather than waking up in a fully grown body Jason didn’t actually complete his puberty until after his Lazarus pit dip while he was on his murder tour. Imagine you’re tied up in a basement in Berlin getting interrogated by a teenager and his voice is cracking the entire time and if you laugh he’s going to shoot you

[kens-ramblings]

so ik it’s not cannon accurate but,,,

i need a fic of tim just crashing out.

like he gets so sick of like damian and jason talking about how weak he is and shit like that that he’s like “yall realize lady shiva was my one of my FIRST teachers, and i was the first robin she trained. i had to train under b AFTER he already lost a robin. you DONT think he was 10x harder on me than any of you guys???? there’s a reason my training videos are mainly redacted without bruce’s or my permission. i got ra’s al ghul BEGGING ME to join his league or have my children. i get gifts from him WEEKLY. do you KNOW how many of his little ninja i fight per DAY??? nahh im sick of this shit let’s take it to the mats” and just demolishing both of them at the same time.

i just think it’d be very funny. i just like fics of people who pretend to be weaker than they are(or they just never really have a reason to go full tilt so they just don’t) get sick of holding back and just losing it :D

[fistfuloflightning]

from the first

to the last

[rinnstars]

white mercedes!

he’ll always be here when you eventually come back

itoshi rin x reader: toxic dependent rs LOL + on and off rs, inspired by charli’s song, angst(?) but you get back tgt, both pov!, not proofread + likes n reblogs r appreciated! <3

its a cycle - a cycle that rin has grown too fond of, too familiar of, too used to. of course, he knows its unhealthy, not that anyone tells him, its a secret he’ll keep deep in his heart. he tells himself, its just familiarity - the way your face buries in his chest, hands tugging at his shirt for comfort that he swear as makes his heart swell up, the way your name rolls off his tongue so perfectly like it was meant to be, the way you always come back no matter what. its meant to be in its own sick ways, and it gives him a sick feeling that thrums against his heart when you inevitably come back - as if you know you’ll be his no matter what.

he thinks he can forget everything when you ring him up after another bad ending to a date or relationship (he prays to no one in particular for it to end each and every time, cursing them too), when you come back home to his familiar apartment that you know the passcode and have the keys to in your bag at all times, when you melt yourself against him, fitting with him like a puzzle piece. he can forget the way you practically ripped his heart out with your bare hands when you tell him the inevitable words: “lets break up”, he can forget the way he swears the world turns black with puzzle pieces with the way his ears and ringing and his head throbs, he can forget the way you look at him like he’s nothing, like he’s just temporary, a toy to you when you feel a little lonely, when things don’t go your way. he can forget that he’s just temporary comfort in your arms, forget that you don’t love him the way he loves you, forget that you’ll be gone and in love with everyone else but him he swears. he can forget that your lips had touch someone else’s just hours ago, he can forget your hands had lingered and roamed someone else’s before, he can forget that you don’t only look at him with that look in your eye that he wishes to keep in his own museum of memories. he thinks he can forget all the hurt you put him through when youre together - forget the emptiness in his heart when you go to another party, find someone else, and be anywhere else without him that now feels full with your touch that practically feels like a drug to rin., forget the tears that streams down his face and stains his face that your fingers trace so softly as though an apology when you stop texting back, a reflection of you being busy with someone else yet again, forget the sleepless nights wondering where you are now that youre right beside him on his bed.

but deep down, he hopes tonight, you’ll stay a little longer. more than just what he should expect now - more than just warming his bed and his heart and his body, more than just another temporary comfort where you’ll be gone tomorrow morning or night, more than what he knows you’ll ever be able to give him. maybe each and every time he lets you stay - its his confession in his own way, of unsaid “i love yous” that he knows wont be reciprocated by the end of the week, of unsaid wishes of you staying by him for the rest of his life even in this twisted way that he loses more and more hope of every cycle, of unsaid pleadings for you to just stay with him in his world. but he knows too, that by the end of tonight, he’ll drive you to work, and your replies will slow down, and he’ll be left all alone in his apartment by the end of tomorrows night - or even if he’s lucky, he knows its inevitable, a month of loving you and being yours before the house of cards comes crashing down and all he’s left alone are the ashes of you and him: all alone in his room that he can still practically see the ghost of, feel the phantom touches of yours that he swears is imprinted on his body, lying in the gory mess of his guts all thrown up and ripped out of him when you inevitably say your goodbyes. yet, he keeps opening that damn door whenever it rings with that familiar tune, accepting those cursed phone calls that restarts the cycle, giving you his already scratched up and bruised heart for you to make a mess even more. its love - letting you step all over him without a single word and still letting you do it for the rest of his life until one day you’ll grow tired of this comfort (he hopes you never will, its the only thing he can offer after all). its love - letting you stay over and mess up his life, leave him with bruises on his neck and hands with your kisses and bites that he’s always so mesmerised by, as though youre letting it known that he belongs to you (even if he doesn’t because you end up leaving). its love - letting you run away each time and still letting you come back without any hesitation even if logically he should (because the pain is worth the warmth you always give him whenever you come back).

and you don’t want to admit that its love you feel for him - its fear you feel when your heart inevitably only beats a little faster when youre with him, its anxiety you blame it on when your stomach pools with butterflies when youre in his arms, and its guilt you feel when you inevitably run away again. love is overwhelming - being with him is too much, you don’t feel that sensation that practically brings you to that high, not with alcohol, not with partying, not with anyone else. its strange, the first time you feel it with him, and you don’t want to admit that its love - as though its forbidden (everyone with a mind begs you to just stay with him), as though its one-sided (you know it isn’t, you know he loves you too: he tells you and its pain that courses through your whole body), as though it was never meant to be (only because youre too scared to stay).

its not love, you tell yourself, when you inevitably come back to his apartment that you’ve memorised the address and route to from work, from the club, from anyone else’s house you just don’t feel at home with. its not love, you tell yourself too, when you go out with everyone else but him, your heart hurting as though its conveying to you its wrong, its wrong to be with anyone else other than itoshi rin. and its not love, when you spend the night looking at his face that you try to memorise every curve, every line, every bit of it before you inevitably have to leave, when you spend the night awake breathing in his warm and familiar scent that almost lulls you to sleep if not for your dedication, when you spend the night awake loathing the fact youre going to leave the next morning.

deep down, you know you can stay - its what rin wants underneath all the walls he’s built sky high that he lets collapse when youre with him, its what rin wants when he lets you in each and every single time no matter what time it is, when he lets his fingers and gaze linger a little too long for it to be deniable anymore. and you should - he always has your favourite snack stacked up almost as if trying to appeal to you even though he follows a strict diet for his career, always have your shirts and pants all neatly folded in the closet when you come back, always have your side of the bed neatly arranged, your figure practically already imprinted on it.

and its fear that grips at your heart when it just feels so right. you know you’ll mess it up, not that you haven’t millions of time when you already have him at the palm of your hand. you know youre no good, the first break up was a clear reflection - in your mind, its bloody, gory and messy, the hearts of you and him strewn onto the grown, soaked with tears and black blood that still paints your memories. yet, you two keep finding each other, as though magnetised by some sort of twisted fate that wont let him escape your sick love. you end up always at his place anyways - after a bad breakup with some nobody whos face is blurry and hazy in your mind as you look at rin’s, after a night out that leaves you throwing up your bloody black and red guts into his toilet as he rubs your back so gently, a complete contrast to the way youre violently throwing up, after another date that sees through your disinterest and leaves you right in the rain that rin somehow fights through with an umbrella to shield you from the rain and maybe from the world too, your hands holding his shakily as though hes the one who will inevitably disappear on you.

but today, it just seems so different - his touch on you feels fleeting, as if hes already ready to let go, his eyes seems a little more watery than usual as though hes only counting down to your eventual farewell, his familiar bracelets that matches with you nowhere to be tugged at when you intertwine your hands with his as though you two are no longer together. you think it just might be over - its inevitable, of course hes sick of this stupid cycle you cant help but continue each and every time to feel safe and secure, of course hes lost feelings now that hes seen the real you, of course hes tired of you who has done thing but leave after youve gotten your way. and you want to say its alright: because youve never loved him the way he should, because you cant be what he wants, because its not love you were made for. and yet, youre selfish, god you know you are: when you come back each and everytime and melt into rin’s arm thst is deserving of so much more, when you leave even when you see the tear stains on his face and shaky voice memos he leaves you wishing you to be nothing but safe, when you repeat the cycle.

“rin… y-youll always be here right?” you hate how your voice shakes, your feelings unintentionally boiling and spilling over more than it should ever, you hate how vulnerable you sound whenever youre with him because deep down you feel safe and yourself with him that you dont with anyone else, you hate how youre asking for confirmation from him, because you know he’ll say the same thing each and every time.

“of course.” and rin hates how he will never change the answer to the inevitable question because he loves you and always will, hates how he can never leave this twisted grip that feels like thorns in him whenever he holds you that pricks at his heart and lungs, hates how he feels you might be slipping away from him with the way you hesitate yet again, restarting the cycle that he loathes and wish nothing but to leave on some days.

“… rin. let me stay, more than just tonight.”

you know its selfish, to trap him in the twisted thorns of your love, to keep him withh you away from the rest of the world, to make it official only to end it again inevitably when you yourself get terrified of the same thorns that claw at you the same way it claws at rin that he never minded. its selfish to promise to stay, to be his soulmate again, to be his again at all when you know deep down youll leave - simply because you feel him leaving, because you feel hes getting tired of it, because you know he deserves better.

and yet, you dont miss the way rin’s eyes seem to light up from its earlier dull look that pains you from the thought of him crying over you, dont miss the way he unconsciously tugs at your shirt, clinging closer to you with the reassurance, dont miss the way he lets out a breath that he has held this whole time. and you know deep down, he’ll always let you stay: even when you leave again, even when you dont stay, even you keep breaking his heart. and in a twisted way, you love it: because it means he loves you too even if you cant bear to tell or show it in fear, because means that he wont get tired of you to be the one who leaves, because it means youll always have him forever one day when you put your fear aside and embrace him the same way you do now.

and rin doesnt miss the way your voice seems so afraid and shaky when you ask of him as though youll ever be afraid of him saying no, doesnt miss the way your eyes too light up even with those dark eyes circle that he wishes to fix when he takes you back in again, doesnt miss the way you bury your face in his chest either when he says yes to you being his again. and he loves it: because it means you love him too even if you keep running away for god knows why, because it means one day youll stay forever in his embrace, because it means youll deep down never be sick of him with the way you always come back into his arms.

maybe youll go back on your promise, maybe you wont - but for tonight: youre rins, and rins all yours.

[xxlady-lunaxx]

on the rare occasion when sanemi’s mental health plummeted and he couldn’t take it, his feet guided him, the ache and the need for numbness coaxing the money over, lifting his hand as he took the sake. he drank and he drank until he was completely unconscious. he awoke with alcohol still strong in his system and, without much thought, he found himself on the way to gyomei’s estate. he often associated the man with something of comfort, although he couldn’t figure out why at the moment. neither could he figure out when he’d arrived, instead staring blankly at the door to gyomei’s house before realizing he had to knock. gyomei opened the door for him and allowed him entry, sensing far more than the sake and gruff greeting sanemi managed. they sat quietly inside after gyomei gave him a cup of water. then, abruptly, sanemi spoke. he was uncharacteristically vulnerable under the anesthesia of alcohol.

“you asked why i don’t talk to genya,” he stated, his eyes unfocused as he stared down at his cup. he took a sip. “didn’t answer, did i?”

gyomei hummed vaguely, not wanting to accidentally set sanemi off. he wasn’t sure how this man was like, once his guard was lowered. “i do not believe you did,” he agreed, though that certain conversation had happened weeks ago. genya was here, actually. he’d been training in the back when sanemi had arrived. undoubtedly, genya must be wondering what was taking so long.

sanemi nodded, downing the rest of his water. he put the cup down. then picked it up, fidgeting with it. his movement was loud in the silence of the room. “considering the circumstances,” he began, “is there really anything else i could do?”

“what do you mean?” gyomei asked, frowning. he heard a door opening, somewhere in the house. genya was getting restless, it seemed. or he was taking a break.

“my only objective for anything is…” sanemi paused, considering this. he started again, discarding his previous words. “most demon slayers objectives are to make sure other people can live normally. even if we can’t. right?”

gyomei made a noise of agreement. sanemi nodded.

“i’m no exception,” he remarked. “but, also, i am. it’s not like i don’t care about other people, but- i don’t ever think about them. when i need to be motivated to stay alive. you know? i do have other people i care about, like iguro or whatever. but he’s not why i’m doing this. i’m not why i’m doing this. nobody’s why i’m doing this.”

there was a lengthy pause. “then who is?” gyomei inquired. he shouldn’t be taking advantage of sanemi’s talkativeness, but he wasn’t the one who needed to hear it. he knew where this was going. genya did not.

sanemi sighed. he tossed his cup in the air, catching it in one hand. “genya. he’s not strong enough for the corps. he’ll survive a couple weeks, but he’s due to die eventually. or get too injured to keep going. i don’t get him. he’s got no reason to keep going, yet he clings onto the pathetic hope that he can do it. he should’ve opted to find some woman to marry. let him have children and make a family and forget all of this happened. if he wants to survive, that’s his best bet,” he said. he seemed to have thought it over many times before. enough so he knew it all, even under the muddled mindset he was sporting. “genya deserves better than to fight mutilated beasts every day. but i can’t kill them all for him. so he just has to leave.”

gyomei let this sink in for a long moment. “i believe,” he began, slowly, “that he wants to by your side.”

“wants?” sanemi scoffed. “he doesn’t know what he wants right now. but i know what he needs. he needs to stop chasing after me. i’m a lost cause. he’s not, yet. so he should take advantage of it before it’s too late. he’s an idiot.”

“i understand where you’re coming from,” gyomei reasoned. “but… you have to consider how he feels about it. does he want a life without his brother? is it really best for him?”

sanemi’s posture sunk, ever so slightly. he was trying to curl into himself. “not like i love the prospect, either,” he mumbled. “it’s just best for him. don’t want nothing more than that.”

gyomei let out a breath. “if you tried talking to him about it-“

before he could finish, sanemi cut in. “don’t be stupid, himejima, he hates me. he wouldn’t listen.”

gyomei was completely taken aback. “what? of course not. quite far from the truth, shinazugawa.” he was confused. “from where did you gain that aspect?”

“where? he hardly listens; won’t leave the corps when i tell him,” sanemi said, full of irritation suddenly.

“because he wants to stay by your side.”

“i don’t want it. i told you. it’s better if he’s not.”

“then explain it,” gyomei insisted. “he believes you’re the one who hates him.”

sanemi snorted, as if that was the most ridiculous thing ever. “that’d be like hating a newborn puppy because it can’t provide for itself. i don’t hate genya. but he has every reason to hate me.”

[ryuki-draws]

Oh my god everything you've done with the tfo au hurts so bad but I must see more

It's so GOOD

Ahaha, I'm glad I'm not alone in enjoying excessive amounts of pain and suffering :'D ♥

[nell0-0]

Emmet thinking: "Something is srsly wrong with Ingo. Do these peopel have something to do with it? Do they know whats wrong with him? Did they have something to do with it?"

Irida thinking: "God this guy is pushy. Is this what Ingo left behind? I'm not going to stop him from leaving obviously, but if THIS is how he can be expected to be addressed back home..."

Ingo thinking: "Man, I have so much shit to do. Maybe I could get Emmet and Irida's help doing it. They seem to get along."

What did the poor guy ever do to you

Ngl, this sounds like fanfic material. A one-shot at the very least. Too ansgty for me though, I prefer the funny and chaotic.

For context: 1 | 2

[korrasamibottles]

"Came back wrong" but it's about Asami after being brainwashed in ROTE...hmm..uh oh.....

[cheriboms]

doctober day 12: train tracks

fact: their favorite bedtime story is 'how mom, dad, and clint eastwood stole a locomotive and saved the space time continuum'. source: dude trust me

[bottombaron]

it honestly surprises me that i don't hear anything about the very real possibility that Nandor could have sired Dracula

[twpsyn-who]

Soulmate AU in which when you touch your soulmate you swap bodies. It needs to be skin on skin contact and is instant. The only way to get back in the previous body is to touch again, otherwise you're stuck like that.

No matter the body all psychological and physical damage stays with you. That means if you get hurt then swap bodies, you will still feel it despite no longer having the wounds. This is only the case of existing wounds prior to swapping ; if new wounds happen to the hurt body after the swap you won't feel them, but the person in the body when it happens will. A very complicated way of saying that you can't get away from pain by swapping bodies with your soulmate as it will follow you.

There's no known consequences to not changing bodies back once swapped, though some might get sick for a few days after swapping back if they waited a long period of time to change back (say over a month, even longer depending on individual)

Now this but, you know... JeanMarco. And of course they find out during their time in the 104th Training Corps, because there's no way their skin didn't touch at least once in +3 years of training and being as close as they are. It isn't until break when they're able to visit home that they learn what it truly means ; up until that point they used it to swap chores (is the only reason why Jean didn't try to kill Eren during their shared chores- because it was actually Marco all along). At that point they knew each other perfectly.

Of course the whole situation was a little bit awkward for both of them when returning. They probably would end up avoiding each other for a bit because teenager boys and stuff, all until someone finally got the guts to mention the tension and ask them what's wrong- which forces them to talk and stuff. Doesn't matter, this is not what I want to talk about.

But the beautiful battle of Trost and what if, hypothetical speaking of course, they touch skin after Jean gets another ODM? And they're so used with each other by now, they don't even notice until the mission is nearly done anyway. And I don't know man, the idea of Jean dying while in Marco's body? Marco (in Jean's body) saying "I need to find Marco" once the mission is a success and research for his soulmate, just for him to not find him?? Not find him until 3 days later when some of them are assigned cleaning duty in Trost and he finds his own fucking body bitten in half???

The realization that it should've been Marco who died that day, but didn't because he was in Jean's body. The realization that not only his soulmate is dead, but he's stuck living his life. He's stuck living the life Jean can't because he died in Marco's place.

SEEING YOUR DEAD SOULMATE EVERYDAY WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR. Poor Marco would most likely avoy any reflective surface for a very long time, unable to see Jean's face looking at him.

The guilt of lying to everyone, because how does one even begin to explain what's going on? Him lying to Jean's mother to protect her from the harsh truth of the reality- that her son actually died and the one in front of her was a fake.

And the sad truth is that no one would notice because they've been doing it for months already. They knew how to act like each other to perfection. Even if Marco slipped at some point no one would question it because they got many traits from each other already.

[fallloverfic]

I am legitimately confused by repeated comments that ORV's opening is slow or boring or uninteresting, especially people who say you need to read [insert some very large number of pages/chapters] to get to the "good" parts. I've seen this on multiple socials at this point and I originally wrote this post months ago, but recent potential news has brought back people saying this again, particularly in recommending it to other people/trying to get other people into it.

I would personally argue that ORV has a good opening. A very good opening. And the early part of it is very good, too.

ORV opens with a literal train of angst, attempted friendship, workplace harassment (Sangah getting harassed by her boss), some neat Korean folklore (dokkaebis hello), graphic violence (remember when Bihyeong just kills the president on TV?), a group of people in a subway attempting to beat an old woman to death, Dokja winning a pissing contest with a teenage edgelord, a bunch of people getting murdered, bonding in times in despair over a really unique form of problem solving, a man breaking open subway doors with his bare arms, young love, and magic, fleeing onto a bridge that gets exploded to bits by an evil gremlin, a horde of zombies appearing, the protagonist getting new magic powers, and then his getting held by the neck over said broken bridge in a complex back and forth with the "true" story protagonist before getting dropped into the mouth of a giant sea monster.

It covers topics like the limits of human compassion in times of strife, the complicated presence of the military (Dokja hated his time being drafted v Hyeonseong's military leadership doesn't save anyone), international relations (Sangah is learning Spanish), trope subversion (I mean it is and isn't the entire book and Dokja's character, but he's constantly trying to be 5-10 steps ahead of what's going on, including literally fleeing Junghyeok until Junghyeok grabs him by the collar), workplace harassment, bullying, and it's all taking place during multiple apocalypse scenarios.

This is the like first 11 chapters of the book. And it never stops. There are "slower" moments, moments where characters take a breather (like it takes a while for Dokja to negotiate his contract with Bihyeong, which is slow if you ignore the fact Dokja is arguing with an interdimensional being/alien for the limits of his own life and autonomy in the most dangerous streaming event imaginable, knowing he may still die if he gambles wrong on his personal wikipedia brain), but it's still frequently confrontational, whether that confrontation is about what characters mean to each other, what lives are at stake, finding your purpose in life, adaptability to complex circumstances, overcoming trauma and self-doubt...

And it's more intense in a way in the manhwa adaptation because you can clearly see most of it visualized (e.g., how visually wrecked the characters get, how young the kids are, how terrifying the monsters are, how scary the odds are, and how dangerous Dokja's gambles can really get with a fickle streaming audience), and Sleepy-C's art is gorgeous.

I just have to wonder (though this is more of a rhetorical question), what on earth do people consider fast? Because I am quite honestly terrified of what the answer is.

Like I get that ORV is long. It can be hard to recommend very long books to folks (and as the manhwa keeps going, long comics). To each their own, everyone is different, what appeals to me won't appeal to others. But there's a difference between "it's hard to recommend a very long work to someone" and "it's hard to recommend something that's long and takes a while to get into", and maybe folks are just writing the former a bit weirdly. I completely understand having trouble recommending long series to people. Also ORV has a very complex plot and I don't blame folks having trouble recommending that. I'm writing fic for later parts of orv and other manhwa and I dread explaining all the context for all that to someone who hasn't read them.

That being said, ORV has a very good introduction. Both chapter 1 of the novel and episode 1 of the manhwa are very good. They're not perfect, I can't say I was hooked from the immediate moment I started reading the page, but both of them have good introductions and it doesn't stop, and there's stuff to love in just about every chapter/episode, and I was definitely hooked enough by the time I finished to keep going to chapter/episode 2. Chapter 1 of the novel has great angst and character building, and it's funny and sweet and tragic. When I first read Dokja trying, earnestly, to recommend TWSA and getting harassed about it and worrying it will hurt this art and artist he cares about, but not being able to do much else to give thanks for this experience because of his circumstances, I cried. The first page/episode of the manhwa has them delicious boys love vibes and gorgeous art (and cute baby Dokja, I die for him), and the promise of a fascinating story ahead, and then the following page/episode has more gorgeous art and angst and great characters (combining them cause the first page feels sort of more like a teaser than a first page, though Episode 0 ends with a spread of Kimcom that makes me tear up). We'll unfortunately never know if I'd have loved ORV as much if I'd read the novel first, but I like to think I would cause ORV's opening is just that good.

I just truly, truly do not understand the sentiment that idk the opening and the first [insert large number of pages/chapters] aren't good or interesting or engaging enough. Maybe I'm out of touch. To each their own on what appeals, maybe I'm built different (doubt it though) but it just feels kind of dismissive of ORV's opening, in both the novel and the manhwa, which are both really good. Will it win over everyone? No. It's fine if you weren't grabbed by the opening or the first [insert however many pages/chapters/arcs]. It's fine if you took a while, even a long while to get into it, or never really did, and maybe don't like the manhwa, which is a great gateway into the story, or don't like the novel for whatever reason and prefer the manhwa. And at the end of the day it's just random opinions online, we all have different ones. Make the posts that appeal to you on your blog, complain on your socmed, whatever. But the opening is good, it keeps you very engaged with a lot of difficult scenarios, the characters are great and fun and funny, in those parts especially, and idk why I'm supposed to pretend that's not the case.

Anyway I don't like writing complaint posts. The opening and general start are excellent and Imma go back and cry over Dokja again ty singNsong for my tears.

[fictional-at-heart]

Sadly, I think I can tell I cranked out four fanfics in a month. I think writer’s block has hit me now 🥺

[rapha-reads]

TTEOTM characters I absolutely adore and if anything happens to them I will kill everyone in the room and then myself:

Pian Ran and Ye Qingyu (*sobs for a thousand years* why are they so romantic and soulmate-coded)

characters I will gladly strangle and dismember with my own bare hands:

Ye Bingchang (can someone please get rid of her, PLEASE, I cannot stand her)

characters who deserve better:

Xiao Lin (seriously dude, you need like, a nap, therapy, better luck in love and maybe quit your job of Prince, that's not healthy)

characters who need to learn to actually communicate or so help me Devil God I will punch my screen:

Tantai Jin and Ye Xiwu (*screams in a pillow* I'm fine I'm fine this is fine they're so dumb and dramatic it's okay)

[sugar-omi]

(swiftie asker) AAAAAAAHH OHMG PLEASE DON'T APOLOGIZE :(( i'm glad you're doing a lil' better now, and that you took the time you needed to recuperate !! always put yourself first omi, you deserve all the time you need and more for yourself <3

with that being said . "his edges are too sharp for such tenderness" ?????? "he wants too much even though he tries not to want anything at all" ??????????????????? "and why is he the one looking at your window, hoping the lights are still on and you're still waiting" ??????????????????????????????????? YOU LITERALLY COULD'VE JUST CALLED ME A SLUR AND IT WOULD'VE HURT LESS, WHAT THE FUCK

no because oh my god. OH MY GOD. the way that he's so used to leaving others wanting that finally finding himself in that position makes him realize just how badly it hurts when the one person he's ever wanted this much won't wait for him to get his shit together if he's not even going to attempt to. because you can love him and miss him and think about him as much as you want, but you know you can't fix him - and you won't waste your life trying. not when he's not what you're living for - even if it feels like a betrayal to admit that.

and you'll find your happiness eventually - there'll be happiness after him, of course there will be. but there was happiness because of him too - a sour-sweet happiness dripping cherry red that hurts your teeth and makes you want to clutch at your chest with the rolling waves of emotion it brings. and maybe you can forget him, but you'll never forgive him for poisoning you with the promise of forever, then turning tail when you reached for him in your delirium.

to come back now would be a sin; to beg for your forgiveness is something he cannot bring himself to do, whether out of shame or the closest thing to regret he can feel - but he wants to. he wants to throw himself onto his knees and cling to your ankles and plead with you to let him stay. he wants to beg you to not let him go and he promises that he'll do better for you!! he promises he'll fix himself if it's for you!! he'll do anything if it's for you just PLEASE for the love of GOD don't LEAVE him here by himself because he can't do this. he can't do this without you.

but that rift is too great - the divide between you two has splintered so deeply that to bridge it would take effort that you're afraid to give to someone who already took so much of it out of you and left you with nothing but goodbye.

so he'll wait at the door like he's thirteen again, waiting for you to come home even though he knows your home is somewhere else, somewhere far away from him and his glass edges and his frayed sense of self. because he is selfish, and he still wants to believe that somewhere across the country, across the state, across the road - you feel this some bone-deep ache for him that he does for you.

he played pretend once. he can do it again.

"you know you can't fix him - and you won't waste your life trying. not when he's not what you're living for - even if it feels like a betrayal to admit that."

"and maybe you can forget him, but you'll never forgive him for poisoning you with the promise of forever, then turning tail when you reached for him in your delirium."

"... waiting for you to come home even though he knows your home is somewhere else, somewhere far away from him... - you feel this some bone-deep ache for him that he does for you. he played pretend once. he can do it again."

YOU COULD'VE CALLED ME A SLUR AND IT WOULD'VE BEEN NICER!!!!

oomf you outshine Shakespeare. I NEED you to write a book QUICKLY!!!! ASAP!!!! RIGHT NOW IN FACT!!!! lemme know when your book hits the shelves, in fact, no, I'm outside w money open the fucking door

but baxter knowing how pathetic he is... especially when he watches you and cove plan your wedding.

you come in every day, smiles on your faces, hands shaking with excited nerves after every important step is planned.

he watches you exchange lovesick looks with cove, watches you kiss his cheek in excitement when there's nothing left to plan, and your engagement ring glitters under his office lights.

and he sees how carefully and intensely cove focuses on his dance moves, and baxter forces himself to push away his heavy heart so he can do his job.

and when he watches you and cove go down the aisle, and then watches you have your first dance. he ignores the thoughts that that should've been him. because he knows it's crazy to think that when he's the reason your heart ached and was shrouded in ice before cove introduced you to a soft, warm love. not a fleeting, prickly love like baxter had to offer.

his love is safe, sure. and even though baxter is so sure he can offer you that now, he laid down a line and even though he's picked up the rope to let you in, the dents are still there and you refuse to cross it.

so he accepts your offer of friendship at the end of the night because he knows that's all he'll have. he gave up a fortune of your love for a penny of your kindness, and he would rather have one percent of you than nothing at all.

even if it means his home is always empty, and his walls are devoid of warmth compared to yours, and his picture frames only have pictures of sunsets and beaches instead of family photos.

and after he comes home from spending time with your family and your friends, he hopes there's another universe where he doesn't let you go or pretend his heart doesn't ache, and that he doesn't yearn to be the one kissing you happily at your anniversary party...