#the baxter angst train never ends

[sugar-omi]

(swiftie asker) AAAAAAAHH OHMG PLEASE DON'T APOLOGIZE :(( i'm glad you're doing a lil' better now, and that you took the time you needed to recuperate !! always put yourself first omi, you deserve all the time you need and more for yourself <3

with that being said . "his edges are too sharp for such tenderness" ?????? "he wants too much even though he tries not to want anything at all" ??????????????????? "and why is he the one looking at your window, hoping the lights are still on and you're still waiting" ??????????????????????????????????? YOU LITERALLY COULD'VE JUST CALLED ME A SLUR AND IT WOULD'VE HURT LESS, WHAT THE FUCK

no because oh my god. OH MY GOD. the way that he's so used to leaving others wanting that finally finding himself in that position makes him realize just how badly it hurts when the one person he's ever wanted this much won't wait for him to get his shit together if he's not even going to attempt to. because you can love him and miss him and think about him as much as you want, but you know you can't fix him - and you won't waste your life trying. not when he's not what you're living for - even if it feels like a betrayal to admit that.

and you'll find your happiness eventually - there'll be happiness after him, of course there will be. but there was happiness because of him too - a sour-sweet happiness dripping cherry red that hurts your teeth and makes you want to clutch at your chest with the rolling waves of emotion it brings. and maybe you can forget him, but you'll never forgive him for poisoning you with the promise of forever, then turning tail when you reached for him in your delirium.

to come back now would be a sin; to beg for your forgiveness is something he cannot bring himself to do, whether out of shame or the closest thing to regret he can feel - but he wants to. he wants to throw himself onto his knees and cling to your ankles and plead with you to let him stay. he wants to beg you to not let him go and he promises that he'll do better for you!! he promises he'll fix himself if it's for you!! he'll do anything if it's for you just PLEASE for the love of GOD don't LEAVE him here by himself because he can't do this. he can't do this without you.

but that rift is too great - the divide between you two has splintered so deeply that to bridge it would take effort that you're afraid to give to someone who already took so much of it out of you and left you with nothing but goodbye.

so he'll wait at the door like he's thirteen again, waiting for you to come home even though he knows your home is somewhere else, somewhere far away from him and his glass edges and his frayed sense of self. because he is selfish, and he still wants to believe that somewhere across the country, across the state, across the road - you feel this some bone-deep ache for him that he does for you.

he played pretend once. he can do it again.

"you know you can't fix him - and you won't waste your life trying. not when he's not what you're living for - even if it feels like a betrayal to admit that."

"and maybe you can forget him, but you'll never forgive him for poisoning you with the promise of forever, then turning tail when you reached for him in your delirium."

"... waiting for you to come home even though he knows your home is somewhere else, somewhere far away from him... - you feel this some bone-deep ache for him that he does for you. he played pretend once. he can do it again."

YOU COULD'VE CALLED ME A SLUR AND IT WOULD'VE BEEN NICER!!!!

oomf you outshine Shakespeare. I NEED you to write a book QUICKLY!!!! ASAP!!!! RIGHT NOW IN FACT!!!! lemme know when your book hits the shelves, in fact, no, I'm outside w money open the fucking door

but baxter knowing how pathetic he is... especially when he watches you and cove plan your wedding.

you come in every day, smiles on your faces, hands shaking with excited nerves after every important step is planned.

he watches you exchange lovesick looks with cove, watches you kiss his cheek in excitement when there's nothing left to plan, and your engagement ring glitters under his office lights.

and he sees how carefully and intensely cove focuses on his dance moves, and baxter forces himself to push away his heavy heart so he can do his job.

and when he watches you and cove go down the aisle, and then watches you have your first dance. he ignores the thoughts that that should've been him. because he knows it's crazy to think that when he's the reason your heart ached and was shrouded in ice before cove introduced you to a soft, warm love. not a fleeting, prickly love like baxter had to offer.

his love is safe, sure. and even though baxter is so sure he can offer you that now, he laid down a line and even though he's picked up the rope to let you in, the dents are still there and you refuse to cross it.

so he accepts your offer of friendship at the end of the night because he knows that's all he'll have. he gave up a fortune of your love for a penny of your kindness, and he would rather have one percent of you than nothing at all.

even if it means his home is always empty, and his walls are devoid of warmth compared to yours, and his picture frames only have pictures of sunsets and beaches instead of family photos.

and after he comes home from spending time with your family and your friends, he hopes there's another universe where he doesn't let you go or pretend his heart doesn't ache, and that he doesn't yearn to be the one kissing you happily at your anniversary party...

[curtsycream]

Here you’ll find all my newer works, want to read my older fics click the link in my pinned for it <33

New MasterList

* <- smut

+ <- angst

• <- agere

~ <- m!reader

! <- f!reader

Fics/Ficlets

COD

Poly 141 x Reader

Sons of Anarchy*!

Beautiful Woman*!

Price x Reader x Simon

Could You Understand?*!

Golden Era

Hermione Granger x F!Reader

Anything For You, Beautiful !

Marauders Era

Jily x F!Reader

She’s in Love !

Regulus Black x Reader

Could Never Unlove You !

She’s Her !

My Heart Lingers in Italy !

James Potter x Reader

My Greatest Love, My Greater Enemy+!

Heartaches & Coffee+!

Lost It All+~

WolfStar x Reader

A Long Night*!

Haikyu

Ushijima Wakatoshi x Little!Reader

Daddy’s Touch•!

BNHA

BakuKiriDeku x Little!Reader

Hide n Seek•!

What Makes Them Happy•!

Baby Voice•!

Missing You•!

Pacifier Complications•!

When Sleep Won’t Come•!

Criminal Minds

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Farmer’s Market Crush !

Stranger Things

Robin Buckley x F!Reader

No One Puts Lovey In A Corner !

Eddie Munson x Reader

But It’s Not Real+!

Support The Arts !

Beside You+!

Support the Arts 3*!

Steve Harrington x Reader

Split Ends !

Headcanons

COD

SoapGhostGaz x Reader

Frat*!

Platonic!TF141 x Reader

Their Daughter !

Stranger Things

Eddie Munson x Reader

Gallstone!Eddie*!

Criminal Minds

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Cottagecore Wife !

Blurbs

COD

John ‘Soap’ MacTavish

Tell Me About Your Day

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

Video Call*!

Stranger Things

Robin Buckley x F!Reader

They Call It Love !

Eddie Munson x Reader

A Lesson in Good Girl Training*!

A Lesson in Answering Calls*!

A Lesson in Picnics*!

A Lesson in Bat Boyfriends !

A Lesson in Nails and Blowjobs*!

The Country Club*!

His Scene Girl !

Steve Harrington x Reader

Cockwarming*!

Haikyu

Seijoh Four x Reader

The Way To My Heart…Oranges !

Rainy Days !

Marauders Era

James Potter x Reader

I Promise !

Blue Hands !

BNHA

BakuKiriDeku x Little!Reader

Mama Bear•!

Favorite Blankets•!

Snow Days•!

Lay Your Head Down•!

Broken Vase•!

Surviving Summer

Baxter Radic x Reader

I Like You !

SMAU

Celebrities

Reneé Rapp x F!Reader

Mi Amor !

Mean Girls 2024 !

Stranger Things

Eddie Munson x Reader

Support the Arts 2 !

Marauders Era

Jily x F!Reader

Ringed Fingers !

[dreamtydraw]

i gotta know more about your mc and baxter (i am never free from this man somebody help me). do they date in step 3, or just crush on each other? and the angst, pls gimme some angst >:D

oh, and do you have any headcanons about them together? :3

*slap my knee* WELL HONEY you have a BIG storm coming-

I’m a multi-shipper so Cerise has a storyline where they date and one where they were just really good friends and in both cases: Baxter was someone extremely important to Cerise.

Important context to understand: Cerise was nonverbal for almost half of her life. She has an important communication problem that actively ruin her personal life as she struggle to talk to people and so not isolate herself. Regardless of the nature their relathionship take, Baxter is extremly important to her as he's the first person she managed to befriend by herself. He came off strong and she took her chance to try talking with someone else and it ended up feeling easy around him.

They are vastly different and this is one of the main reasons they work together: They get to experience, learn and witness a new way of living life. Cerise gets to build her confidence slowly, they have an agreable moment and the dating is all new and attracting to her. She feels a lot and is in the company of someone who appreciates her and makes her come out of her shell.

You can imagine how such an impactful relationship can turn from the loveliest encounter of your summer to the most emotionally damaging event of your life.

Also worth mentioning is that in my playthrough Baxter closed the door in Cerise's face while she was bawling her eyes out on his porch... Yeah it didn't went well....

The reason why this breakup impacted Cerise so much is how some little details spiral in an endless train of negative thoughts: "If I was worth it, he would have tried" and "I am not even capable to move on from something so insignificant for him" "I feel stupid for having felt confident" "I should have known that I was not made to be around people, I can't even talk to someone properly" "I'm too much"

Cerise's self-confidence got shattered, having walked right back of all the effort she managed to make and her mutism coming back into her daily life. It only took one conversation to ruin an entire process of self grow.

The reunion was a painful one and here is where I call my phase the: Baxter pain and regret.

Just imagine for a second, you are so miserable because of your own choices, you left someone who loved you by convincing yourself they'll move on and 5 years later when you meet them again they are a shell. You hurted them so much that to this days your presence haunted them, the person you loves because of their positivity, their smile and bright kindness are now dull, sad and scared. The regret of it all and the pain of wanting to ask why, to wanting to help but also desperetly not wanting to furter implicate yourself while they still look at you with hope. How much would it hurt you to be given a chance even after all you destroyed ? After all the joy you denied for both of you and with all the regrets of have spent so much time in your selfish perception of the world. It would sting and that something that can never dissapear, even if she's back, even if you try again, even if you make progress, you simply can't make up for what you caused and it hunt you at night. You always been loved, you always loved them, and like a fool you reciprocate those feelings by doing the opposite of what love is suppose to be.

NOW THAT ANGST HAVE PASSED- Here is some cute dating headcanon I have of these two :D

Oh and one last sad stuff :

Cerise cut and dyed her hair because Baxter used to say he liked her long orange hair and the compliment felt so bittersweet that she couldn't stand seeing herself in the mirror...

ANYWHOOZIE

-Cerise likes jewelry and likes to make colorful jewelry so she wanted to make bracelets for Baxter. One colorful green to keep as a souvenir and one black and white.

-Still on jewelry, they traded. In exchange for a bracelet, he gave her some rings of his (that she kept wearing for the 5 years )

-They kissed in the car watching the firework because Cerise doesn't like loud noises

-Cerise doesn’t like sudden louse noise but had fun listening to Baxter’s music during some car rides.

-Because she can’t drive she asked him to pick her up or give her a ride to some stores just to have some time with him.

-They met at the cypres during the "soirée" moment and this fun fact always makes them laugh, life sure like them together.

-Fear of the ocean vs Fear of height, both are here to help the other fight against their fear with a little help

-Cerise gave Baxter a glass shot as a souvenir and he only once drank in it alone but was too scared to break it so he kept it hidden.

-I have this hc that once they get married ( because yes they will ) Baxter has a picture of her somewhere in his office and if someone asks "Are you married ?" he just pull up the pic of his very colorfull and and cheerful wife so people look at him confuse

you married a rainbow ?!

-Everyone had their moment of "don't ever hurt her again" with Baxter but the worst one was Liz who profaned murder hunt if he did.

-Still, Baxter got accepted nicely back into the family.

-Cerise's services as a photographer got added to Baxter's wedding contact of people he can recommend and they at least worked on some weddings together.

-Neither of them are morning people, but they spend a lot of their nights hanging out and simply talking until late.

-Some dinner nights they take a detour to dance a bit on the side near the beach

-Travel around the world travel around the world! Cerise has some nice vacation places she wants to do with Baxter and they sometimes need some calm time.

-They just love each other, 5 years are nothing compared to the rest they spent together

THANKS YOU FOR READING THIS FAR

[missbeautyandherbeast]

Leverage

Raphael X Reader (Soulmate AU)

Summary: Raphael’s name was written on your skin forever, but before you told him, he told you he didn’t have a soulmate tattoo. So you lied and denied you had one too. How could he be your soulmate if he didn’t have a tattoo? 

A/N: Hey so this is pure ANGST with a little fluff and slight +18 content at the end... slightly... anyway for this is for the lovely @oceans-daughter-3​ (I know it’s not fluff, but I had a dream and well here we are). I love you guys, let me know what you think!

Tags: @brightlotusmoon​ @boatloadsofheart @legandarybeauty​​ @crazywritingbug​​ @bitch-kms @ravn-87 @just-a-casual-fangirl-011​​ @unicornjoos @stuckoutsideofthebox @ilikestuffproductions​ @whygz​ @coffee-addicti​​ @sugarspooks15 @leslieebee @serperiorkb@blossom-skies @fantastical-67impala-fangirl @coresan​ @big-banging-red​ @iceprincess2019​ @raphaeladdict​ @thirstyforvenom​ @merindagriese​ @depressedemo-152​ @bengewatch @corabmarie​ @bitemebro522​ @tmnt-queen​ @muleka-loka​ @violet-sky-96​ @curadopordeus​ @artemismohr18​ @thewhisperpen​ @xjupitermoonsx​ @bisexualbumblebeesstuff​ @merindagriese @oceans-daughter-3​ @dixonreedusfangirlforever

“This is big.” I whispered. “This is... biological warfare big...”

“I just don’t know how he’s doing it,” Donnie muttered tapping on his screens. “If I figured that out, maybe I could stop it.”

“It doesn’t make sense though,” Raph scoffed. “Stockman has beef with Y/n and me, not all of New York... why would he do this?”

Raphael glanced over to me beside him and I quickly looked down, my cheeks flushing slightly. It was hard to deny the pivotal point that was Raphael in my life. What was worse was that his name was written in eternal ink on my skin.

Have I told him this? No. Was I going to? Not even close. For all the brothers knew, I didn’t have a soulmate tattoo. It was easy to fake, not everyone had one. Each of the brothers did... except Raph.

So, my tattoo wasn’t for him then. Who the hell it was supposed to be, I didn’t know. I didn’t want it to be anyone but him. I awaited the fate that would eventually prove that it wasn’t meant to be after all.

“Y/n are you listening?” Leo pulled me from my thoughts. 

“Huh? What? Yeah.” I gave a false smile.

“Space.” Raph teased.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Careful or I’ll use that tongue for something else,” He grinned making me flush bright red again 

“Will the two of you focus?” Leo scolded. “We need to figure this out, you two can flirt later.”

We both grumbled and looked down. My cheeks were still warm. Little did I know that so were Raphael’s.

_____________________________

“Pheromones” I whispered looking to Raphael. “That’s how he’s doing it.”

“Pheromones?” Donnie asked but I kept my eyes trained on Raph.

“They’re like... drugs, that make the mind give into instinct...” I stammered the explanation.

“I know what they are,” Donnie muttered. “I just don’t get why he’s not using them for... something more violent.”

“So, it’s a bad thing that he’s not using this for violence?” Raph mused, smirking at me. 

“Well, no...”

“And it’s not affecting us,” Raph pointed out.

“Shouldn’t they though?” I thought out loud. “Aren’t you guys like... more susceptible?”

“It’s not affecting you either,” Raph shot back. “Freak,” He muttered. I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I haven’t been above ground since it all started, it’s not in my system,” I snapped and folded my arms. “but ya know I can go up right now.”

“No,” Both Donnie and Raph protested.

I raised an eyebrow at Raph. He just rolled his eyes.

________________________________

We stared down Stockman on a rooftop on New York.

I looked over to Raph, and he looked at me. We were both ourselves, not under the influence of Baxter’s weapon.

“It didn’t affect us,” I breathed out relieved.

“Well, of course it didn’t,” Raphael rolled his eyes and smiled at me.

“Well,” I smiled. “It’s nice to know I’m not alone.” That had to be a silver lining.

“On the contrary my dear,” Baxter laughed. “If I am so smart to create this pheromone don’t you think I would have tested it on the brothers? No, I have one for Raphael specifically. This is what the two of you deserve.”

“What?” I glanced over to Raphael. His eyes were squeezed shut, straining against some unseen thing.

“Raphael,” I took a step away from him, my hands going up in defense.

It wouldn’t be too bad right? The pheromones just made everyone else zombies... I’d be fine. He’d be fine.

Yeah, maybe I wasn’t convinced.

“Run.” He breathed out before his golden eyes snapped up to mine.

It was a second for me to process but I was too late. In that second, he grabbed me and threw me to the ground. I scrambled up looking for a way out. I couldn’t fight him. Even if I had the ability to, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.

“Raph, come on,” I pleaded as he stalked towards me. We were predator and prey.

“Oh, won’t it be so sad. He’ll kill you, wake up, realize what he did... Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo,” Stockman sighed amused.

From the corner of my eye I saw the brothers hop into the roof, making their way towards us. 

“No! Stay back!” I called, keeping my eyes trained on sharp gold ones.

“Why?” Stockman laughed. “He has no aggression towards his family... you on the other hand never were his family,”

I froze in my tracks. His words broke me more than anything else could. I’d rather have Raphael kill me than believe those words.

“That’s not true Y/n. You know that,” Leo’s voice was the voice of reason.

I didn’t particularly listen though. I was too focused on the terrapin in front of me. I knew he could kill me. Easily. He knew how to, in many ways probably. Not probably... he did.

“Leo, one of us isn’t walking away from this,” my voice was surprisingly calm. “and it can’t be him,”

“You both can walk away from this,”

“No Leo,” Raphael’s voice was calm, cold. “She’s right. She’s not walking away from this.” His velvet voice purred the menacing words.

“Raphael,” I whispered. “I know he’s in your head. I know you’re giving into instinct. Please for once Raphael, be yourself! I’m begging you!”

He came at me viscously and I dodged out of the way. He swept around and knocked my feet out from under me. I fell back, my shoulder hitting the ground hard. I let out a cry and flinched waiting for the blow...

But it didn’t come.

I dared to open my eyes and saw Leo, Donnie, and Mikey holding Raphael back, forcing him to the ground.

Getting up I panted, rolling my shoulders out. Something had to be dislocated.

 “Think think think,” I whispered harshly. “How do I get you out of this.”

“The stuff he used... it has to do with scents yeah? Instinct?” Mikey struggled as Raphael tried to dislocate his arm.

“Yeah,” I took a small step back.

“Then kiss him!” Donnie shouted panting from the effort that it took to keep his brother contained.

“What!?” I demanded. “How is that going to solve anything?”

“Look anger and love are very close together. Passion is passion. Instinct is instinct. You have to snap him out of it!”

The three of them wrestled Raphael to his knees. He still struggled against them, his eyes stayed trained on me, furious growls radiating from his chest.

“Raphael doesn’t...!” I cried. “He doesn’t love me!”

“Bullshit,” Leo snapped. “Even if he didn’t, you love him, don’t you?” 

“Of course, I love him!” 

It was the first time that I had ever said the words out loud. They seemed final somehow. Those words were what were going to make or break me.

“Then you have to kiss him!”

The golden eyes that once held fury were now petrified as he stilled.

“Please, don’t let her do that,” his voice was a begged whisper that went deep into my soul. “Please I’m begging you don’t let her touch me,”

My heart shattered at the desperation in his voice. Shards of glass that pierced every part of who I was. I wanted to give in. How could I go against such an agonized plea?

“Raphael, don’t you do that to her,” Leo hissed. “Don’t you dare. You are playing a sick game.”

“One that I have to lose,” I whispered tears streaming down my face as my eyes tried to find Stockman, but he was gone.

“It’s okay Leo... Let him win. I’ll kiss him... but he has to win.”

I took the steps forward and knelt in front of him. I didn’t dare to look up. I could hear the faint sounds of his panting and low growl in his throat. My heart hammered in my chest.

This was it.

“I never loved you,” his voice hissed. “You were always too slow, too weak. Your emotions make you weak.”

I met callous golden eyes.

“I’d rather be weak than never feel at all,” my voice broke. “I’m sorry I have to do this Raph.”

My eyes flickered to the brothers, who all had some sort of pity on their faces. I shook the thought and looked back to Raphael.

“Come back to me,” I begged and reached out, my fingers caressing his face as I pressed my lips to his.

I had thought about what it would feel like to kiss him. Just once. Not that I’d ever imagine it to be like this.

His lips attacked mine, the same passion he had before in taking me down in battle returned behind his force of the kiss. But I wasn’t backing down. Not from this fight.

My fingers gripped his jaw tighter as my other hand came up to stoke his cheek, the edges of his mask, his jaw, anything that I could reach.

His hot breath entered my mouth and I almost lost focus as his tongue met mine.

Maybe this was a cruel game after all. Because this kiss was everything I wanted it to be and yet... it wasn’t right. It wasn’t Raphael. Not my Raphael anyway. Not my friend... and not the one written on my arm.

I felt tears slip down my cheeks as I pulled away, leaning against him slightly turning my face from him. I heard him take a sharp breath in.

The feeling of regret washed over me. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have just let him kill me.

My hands fell into my lap where my eyes stayed trained. Until I stood walking away a bit, back turned to him.

“Let me go,” Raphael’s voice sounded strained. 

“What kind of idiot—”

“Let him go!” I demanded. “It’s fine. I... I already lost.” I looked up to the empty night sky. “I lost your game Stockman! Are you happy now!?” Tears streamed down my face as my heart wretched.

“Y/n,” Mikey tried. “Are you sure you want us to—”

“Do it.” I gritted out, trying to hold back the cries that wanted to escape.

Rough fingers found mine. I waited for the yank and drag down to the ground. For his aggression. It didn’t come. Instead it an easy tug to spin. I didn’t dare to look up.

Gentle hands caressed each side of my face. My eyes flashed up knowing these were my last moments. He would snap my neck easy. Or maybe choke me. His golden eyes would be the last thing I saw.

His thumbs brushed away the tears that were streaming down my face. I didn’t understand the gesture.

I closed my eyes waiting for death. The relief from pain that riddled my chest. But it didn’t come.

Instead he came back. His lips were back on mine seemingly picking up where our last kiss left off. The cruel kiss.

Though this one was just as rough it wasn’t cruel any longer. It was emotional and bare and raw.

I opened my eyes in surprise but left it all to reckless abandon and curled my arms back around him as he pulled me closer. I could feel the warmth radiating off of him. I whimpered into his mouth and he hummed a response gently stroking my cheek as if to calm and reassure me.

My anxiety ran wild not knowing if this was him or the one who wanted to kill me. When his hand slipped down my arm and to my waist using the leverage to pull me flush against him, I decided it didn’t matter.

I loved Raphael and I’d be damned if I’d let him wanting to kill me hinder that love. I’d be damned if I let a stupid tattoo stop me from loving him.

I heard someone clear their throat obviously somewhere around us. It was hard to differentiate because everything in my mind was blurred by Raphael. Every touch, every breath, every stammering heartbeat.

He pulled away however, his hot pants fanning my face. Both of our eyes were still closed as we sat there, foreheads resting against another, panting.

“Tell me that was real,” I whispered. “Tell me or kill me,”

“That’s a bit dramatic don’t you think?” There was humor in his voice, a sly smirk on his lips.

“Raph!?” I gasped.

“Hey there, sweetheart,” he grinned.

“Is it you? Please tell me it’s you,” There were tears in my eyes again. “I need it to be you,”

“It’s always been me hasn’t it?”

Though he said the words and they made sense in context I knew it wasn’t what he was referring to.

One of our first fights was because I refused to tell him anything about my tattoo. He saw right through my nonchalant lies and demanded to know who it was... I walked out instead of giving him an answer and it was about a week until I spoke to him again.

I nodded.

“It’s always been you,” I admitted defeat. “I’m so sorry Raph,” I whispered. 

“For?”

“What do you want me to apologize for? For kissing you? I’m sorry! For not letting you kill me? I’m sorry for that too! For ever having your stupid name on my arm!? I’m sorry! But I can’t apologize for loving you. Not anymore.”

“Baxter was right. You were never just family, Y/n,” He reached out and stroked my cheek. “You were always so much more than that.”

“Raphael don’t— don’t lie to me. Don’t play this game...” I whimpered, pulling away from him. 

“I’m not.”

“But how can... you don’t... I’m...” The cries that I had been holding back finally made their exodus.

“Will you stop crying and listen,” There was a slight tease to his voice, but it remained gentle.

I sniffed and looked up at him. He smiled, timid and unlatched the guard from his forearm and let it fall to the ground. He turned his arm over, palm up and I saw delicately etched into his skin...

My name.

“But... you said...” I wiped my eyes and took his arm, my fingers trailing over the letters of my name trying to make sense of it.

“I lied, I had to lie.” He tried.

“No, you didn’t.” My voice was hard and cold. “I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out why your name was on my arm and you had no tattoo! Do you know how scared I’ve been!? To know that I might lose you!? And you’ve kept this from me!?”

“Y/n, I’m... I’m sorry.” He whispered. “Please, believe me, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know...” 

I wrapped my arms around myself.

“Y/n,” It wasn’t Raph who pleaded to me, but Leo.

“Stay out of this,” Raph hissed.

“No, she needs to know,” Leo came up beside his brother. 

“Know what?” I asked hopelessly.

“It was my fault,” Leo spoke softly. “I’m the one who told him to lie... I gave him the order to. I wanted to keep you safe from us,”

“So, you lied to me? You made him lie to me?” I squeaked.

“We didn’t know Y/n, please,” Leo sighed. “Be mad at me, hate me, but don’t blame him. He just wanted to keep you safe”

My eyes met Raphael’s. I could see tears brimming into his eyes. This was it. What I decided to do would change... everything.

“Of course, I forgive you,” I whispered. “I love you Raphael, and God damn me for it, but I do,”

He let out a hopeless laugh and pulled me into a close hug, pressing his lips back to mine. I relaxed under his touch, melting into the kiss. It was slow and steady this time. We weren’t in any rush. The weight of the world didn’t depend on us.

He seemed to realize that too as he scooped me up into his arms, breaking the kiss and carrying me off towards my apartment.

“I really am sorry,” He murmured into my skin as we curled up in my bed. 

“I’m sorry too,” I whispered, stroking my name on his skin, marveling at it.

There were no walls between us now. We were bare to each other. No more dancing around the topic, no more stolen glances and awkward moments.

“When did you... tonight... the first kiss did it...?” I asked quietly. He smiled and stroked my hair.

“It did... by the time you pulled away, it was fading and all I could see was you... I clung to that. To you,”

I looked down and suppressed a smile, my cheeks flushing. His hand gently came up and tilted my chin back up so that I would look at him.

“Don’t hide from me,” He teased. “I love seeing you blush,”

“You make me do it so often,” I mumbled.

“I know,” He grinned smugly.

I made a face and stuck my tongue out at him. A playful growl left his lips.

“I think I told you not to do that,” He rolled over me, pinning me to the bed, holding his own weight so that all I felt was his warmth.

“Mmm. I think you told me to be careful about doing it,” I smirked, “but I’m done being careful around you,” I murmured, leaning up pressing a kiss to his lips.

He chuckled against my lips and followed me as I laid back, still kissing him. It was soft and slow, our breaths intermingling and our tongues figuring out how to dance with each other.

I small moan slipped from my throat as once again he consumed every thought and every sense I had. He matched my small moan with a light growl one of his hands trailing down my figure, sending a shiver down my spine—the other kept my hands pinned.

My breathing quickened and I had to pull away, my eyes meeting warm amber ones.

“You’re beautiful,” He murmured softly, pressing a kiss to my jaw. “Amazing,”—another kiss— “Smart,”—I turned my head to give him better leverage as he continued down my neck—“Sexy,”—kiss—“extraordinary,”—his tongue ran along my collar bone and a gasp escaped my lips— “and mine,”

.

.

Like my writing? Want more? Here’s my masterlist!

[aion-rsa]

Best Romantic Movies on Netflix

https://ift.tt/3a6cb9I

Romance movies are not that different from horror movies. Both are incredibly hard to pull off, are heavily watched during a cold time of year, and hopefully end with every character covered in blood.

With that in mind we present to you a list of the best romantic movies on Netflix. Because romance deserves it, damn it. Virtually every song ever written is a love song but poor romance can’t get a fair shake at the movies. Whether it be a rom-com or just a straight-up soul-enlightening/crushing romance, our list of the best romantic movies on Netflix will get you back in touch with your cold, dead heart.

Set It Up

Set It Up is Netflix’s most accomplished original romantic comedy yet.

Zoey Deutch and Glen Powell star as overworked assistants Harper and Charlie. Harper is an assistant to Kirsten (Lucy Liu) the woman behind a sports media empire. Charlie works for finance maven Rick (Taye Diggs). Harper and Charlie realize that their respective workloads might lesson if their bosses were more focused on their love life and less focused on work. So they…set them up.

Set It Up is a fun, novel high-concept romance movie positively filled with chemistry on all sides.

Outside In

We embrace every kind of love on our list of the best romance movies. Sometimes that includes some questionable, and some would say “icky” kind of love. So…Outside In is a teacher-student romance. But don’t panic! It’s ok.

Jay Duplas stars as Chris, a man who was wrongly imprisoned at age 18 and who is relased at age 38. When Chris is released, he immediately meets up with his old high school teacher, Carol (Edie Falco), who was his penpal when he was in prison. He wastes little time before he declares his love for her.

Despite its subject matter, Outside In is a mature, well-handled exploration of love and what it means to love someone for themselves as opposed to what they do for us.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

With a name as long as The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, the movie better be good to justify how many times we poor cultural commenters must type it out. Thankfully Guernsey is quite good!

Based on a book by the same name, Guernsey is a historical love story set in 1946. Lily James stars as British writer Juliet Ashton. Juliet begins exchanging letters with residents of the islands of Guernsey, which was under German occupation in WWII (so like two years before the movie starts). While there she meets the dashing Dawsey Adams (Michael Huisman) and romance begins to blossom.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society is an excellent, watchable classical romance

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before

Oh hey! Another Netflix original with a long title based on a book. Like the Potato Peel Pie Society, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is another effortlessly enjoyable romantic romp – this time of the teen variety.

Lara Jean Song Covey (Laura Condor) experiences every young person’s nightmare when private love letters to five boys she has or has had crushes on suddenly and mysteriously become public. But fear not. This is a romance movie, not a horror movie. So this sudden reveal has to go well for Lara Jean, right? RIGHT?!?

To All the Boys P.S. I Still Love You

The To All the Boys team returns for a sequel that teaches kids the harsh lesson that there’s no such thing as happily ever after! OK, so that’s a bit harsh, but To All the Boys P.S. I Still Love You does bring back its characters for another round of romantic angst.

Read more

Movies

To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You Review

By Delia Harrington

Movies

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before Review: A Pleasurable Netflix Rom-Com

By Delia Harrington

Lara Jean (Lana Condor) is now officially Peter’s (Noah Centineo) girlfriend. But before they can relax and enjoy their lives together, an old flame of Lara Jean enters the frame. That’s right, John Ambrose (Jordan Fisher) is here and he wants to steal your girl, Noah Centineo.

The Danish Girl

2015’s The Danish Girl tells the story of a kind of love nearly unprecedented for its early 20th century time. Eddie Redmayne stars as artist Lili Elbe, who was born Einar Wegener and is believed to be one of the first individuals to receive sexual reassignment surgery. The film follows Lili’s journey and her love with wife Gerda Wegener (Alicia Vikander).

When Gerda asks her husband to stand in for a female subject in her painting, Einar does so and quickly comes to terms with the gender identity he’s been suppressing. The newly confirmed Lili and Gerda navigate this new dimension of their relationship and Lili continues her work as a subject for Gerda’s now very much in demand paintings. 

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Beauty and the Beast

2017’s live-action version of Beauty and the Beast isn’t the best depiction of the classic fairy tale ever but that’s ok. It doesn’t have to be. All Bill Condon’s Beauty and the Beast really needed to be was a fun little dip into nostalgia with sumptuous visuals and a believable romance. On that front, everything goes according to plan.

Read more

Movies

Emma Watson on Beauty and the Beast: ‘I’m Very Grateful That This Character Exists’

By Don Kaye

TV

Beauty and the Beast Disney+ Prequel Series Set with Luke Evans and Josh Gad

By Joseph Baxter

Emma Watson stars as Belle and Dan Stevens is her beast. Belle heads off from her small French town to the Beast’s castle to rescue her father. What follows is Stockholm Syndrome: The Movie. But sexier. Beauty and the Beast really does look good and Watson and Stevens have just enough chemistry to make this a worthwhile romantic experience.

50 First Dates

50 First Dates has a somewhat disappointing Rotten Tomatoes score. Ignore that. It’s probably partially due to many critics’ distaste for at least one of the actors in the above screengrab. Not that they can be blamed. The presence of Adam Sandler or Rob Schneider in any comedy is rarely a good sign. In 50 First Dates‘, however, it’s not an issue at all. 

50 First Dates is a legitimately funny and romantic romantic comedy. Drew Barrymore stars as Lucy Whitmore, a woman with short-term memory loss. Due to a car accident, every day she wakes up believing it is October 13, 2002. Sandler’s character Henry Roth meets her in Hawaii and the two must overcome this bizarre condition to establish a lasting relationship.

Carol

Todd Haynes, director of Carol and Far From Heaven knows longing. And if there’s an element that makes for an excellent romantic movie experience its longing. That desperate sense is baked into nearly every frame of Carol. Based on a 1950s romance novel, Carol is the story of a young photographer (Rooney Mara) and an older woman going through a divorce (Cate Blanchette) undertaking a forbidden affair.

Forbidden because, you know, ’50s. And that’s where the longing comes in. Nothing is more romantic or sexier than a forbidden romance. Carol channels that romantic energy into something mature, fascinating and heartbreaking.

Silver Linings Playbook

Silver Linings Playbook is all about how generally terrible it is to be a Philadelphia Eagles fan. OK, fine – it’s only a little bit about that. This star-studded 2012 film from David O. Russell is more about the challenges in finding love when one isn’t sure they even love themselves.

Bradley Cooper stars as Pat Solitano Jr., a young man with bipolar disorder living with his parents after being released from a psychiatric hospital. Pat is determined to win back his ex-wife and to that end enlists the help of young widower Tiffany Maxwell (Jennifer Lawrence). The two become closer as they train for an upcoming dance competition and share their respective damages with one another.

Silver Linings Playbook works because Lawrence and Cooper have a real crackling chemistry. And they both just happen to be devastatingly, almost supernaturally attractive.

Runaway Bride

From stars Richard Gere and Julia Roberts to director Garry Marshall to conspicuous usage of enormous cell phones – Runaway Bride is an intensely ’90s film. And to the rightly organized mind, that just makes it the platonic ideal of a low-stress romantic comedy.

Roberts stars as Maggie Carpenter, an alluring young woman who has made a habit of leaving multiple fiancé’s at the altar. Gere is Ike Graham, a New York columnist seeking to tell the definitive story of this “runaway bride.” Runaway Bride is a charming experience that will make you think long and hard about how you really like your eggs prepared.

Loving

It feels reductive to call Loving a “romance” movie, as its more of a historical exploration of the very real, very tragic legacy of American racism. At its center, however, the film is about love.

Loving tells the story of Richard (Joel Edgerton) and Mildred Loving (Ruth Negga), a mixed-race Virginia couple challenging their state’s law against interracial marriage in the Supreme Court. The details of the Lovings struggle for basic human rights are astonishing. Edgerton and Negga’s empathetic performances make sure the film never loses sight of the humanity at play amid all the legal drama.

Always Be My Maybe

Everyone always talks about “the one who got away”, but what about “the one who was always kind of around”? 2019’s Always Be My Maybe tells of one such story.

Ali Wong (who wrote the film) stars as Sasha Tran and Randall Park stars as Marcus Kim. Marcus and Sasha grew up next door to each other and also embarked on a brief, ill-fated relationship in their teenage years. When Sasha returns to San Francisco to open a restaurant, she discovers that romantic energy remains between her and Marcus. But is that enough to spark love in the busy, chaotic adult world?

Always Be My Maybe has a lot to say about family and growth. It also features a truly winning performance from Keanu Reeves playing…Keanu Reeves.

The Kissing Booth

There’s an interesting dynamic at play in teenage romantic comedies. Oftentimes, the worse they are, the more watchable (and rewatchable) they become. The Kissing Booth is a prime example. Based on a book by the same name from Beth Reekles, The Kissing Booth isn’t exactly celebrated for its realistic portrayal of American teenagers.

Thanks to charming lead performances from Joey King, Jacob Elordi, and Joel Courtney, however, that doesn’t really matter. The Kissing Booth is all about how one girl’s first kiss turns into an emotional minefield of teen angst. That alone is enough to support 105 minutes of pure high school drama…and two sequels!

The post Best Romantic Movies on Netflix appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #240

Thur Dec 17 2020 [11:47 PM] Wack'd: We open on Pietro! He took off running from the Himalayas and has been running for like a week straight, all the way to the Baxter Building. [11:47 PM] Bocaj: He has really good shoes [11:48 PM] Wack'd: Pietro has not stopped for the creepy robot secretary. He has instead approached Ben in the dead of night while he's hiding Franklin's Christmas presents. [11:48 PM] Wack'd: Three guesses what happens next and the first two don't count. [11:49 PM] maxwellelvis: BANG! ZOOM! [11:49 PM] Wack'd: Yeeeeep. [11:49 PM] maxwellelvis: Straight to the Moon! [11:49 PM] Umbramatic: oh no [11:49 PM] Wack'd: No, I don't think the Inhumans are on the moon yet 😛 [11:50 PM] Wack'd: Oh no! Frankie's becoming a gritty antihero to appeal to today's cynical youth!

[11:51 PM] maxwellelvis: DO IT! [11:52 PM] Wack'd: Reed breaks up the fight. Turns out Quicksilver didn't recognize Ben's new face and assumed he was also an intruder. [11:52 PM] Wack'd: Reed is concerned that Ben does not angst when explaining the situation. [11:52 PM] Bocaj: ...... [11:53 PM] Wack'd: I...guess it makes sense? Ben is actually historically very bad at being stoic and closed-off. He mopes! It's what he does [11:54 PM] Umbramatic: Ben Angst™️ [11:54 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, Pietro fills in the backstory, and we're...actually circling back to Medusa having been abducted by a shadowy organization? [11:55 PM] Wack'd: I assumed we'd probably quietly forget about that one. [11:55 PM] Wack'd: So this organization is called The Enclave and they start bombing Attilan, declaring war with the help of their man on the inside. [11:56 PM] Wack'd: Again, three guesses. [11:56 PM] Bocaj: Oh, they're relevant to the avengers annual I'm currently reading for liveblog [11:56 PM] Bocaj: Neat [11:57 PM] maxwellelvis: Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know how their man on the inside is! [11:57 PM] Wack'd: Yes, max? [11:57 PM] maxwellelvis: Correct! [11:57 PM] maxwellelvis: Maximus the Mad, smart guy [11:57 PM] Umbramatic: ITS PIKACHU [11:58 PM] Wack'd: Yeah it's Maximus. [11:58 PM] Umbramatic: FUCK [11:58 PM] maxwellelvis: It's ALWAYS Maximus [11:58 PM] Wack'd: So not only are they at war but now there's also a mysterious illness. [11:58 PM] Bocaj: Hu hu hu [11:58 PM] Wack'd: And Inhumans are dying by the dozens. [11:58 PM] Bocaj: Suuuure [11:59 PM] Bocaj: Do any of them have names is my question [11:59 PM] maxwellelvis: He's like Loki without the Puckish charm [11:59 PM] Bocaj: Yeah Maximus is basically a worse Loki [11:59 PM] Wack'd: @Bocaj Probably not. [11:59 PM] Bocaj: I don't mean more monstrous I just mean. Just less in all regards [12:00 AM] Wack'd: Johnny pokes a hole in this: why the fuck didn't Pietro just take Lockjaw? And apparently Lockjaw is refusing to leave Crystal's side until it's confirmed the Four will turn up. [12:00 AM] Umbramatic: pupper [12:00 AM] Wack'd: (Personally I think Bryne just really liked the image of Pietro running for a week but what do I know) [12:01 AM] Wack'd: And so with the confirmation given Lockjaw arrives and whisks everyone back to Attilan! Everyone except Frankie who still needs to train apparently before she can handle Inhuman stuff. [12:01 AM] Bocaj: Inhuman Quest not unlocked until Lvl 10 [12:01 AM] Wack'd: And Franklin, who's asleep. [12:02 AM] Wack'd: Johnny: Jeez, this place hasn't looked this bad since I--uh--y'know what never mind

[12:03 AM] maxwellelvis: "Rince ROU ried ro rurn rit rown!" [12:04 AM] Bocaj: Thanks Scoob [12:04 AM] Wack'd: You know, normally I'd complain that we've completely skipped the actual story and all the interesting stuff happened off panel, but. This is an Inhumans story. I don't think we missed much.

[12:05 AM] Bocaj: Wow everything really did happen off panel [12:05 AM] Bocaj: Hahah wow [12:05 AM] Wack'd: Not quite! [12:06 AM] Wack'd: Black Bolt is very sick and is using his lifeforce to keep all the Inhumans alive. Uh. Somehow. [12:06 AM] Bocaj: Probably tuning fork magic [12:06 AM] Wack'd: Fortunately it's the same pollution disease Crystal had forever ago which Reed couldn't cure, but now he can, and everything's fine. [12:06 AM] Wack'd: This all happens inside of two pages. [12:06 AM] Umbramatic: s'fine [12:07 AM] Wack'd: OH [12:07 AM] Wack'd: OKAY [12:07 AM] Wack'd: Did not know what happens next was a John Bryne plot point but I guess it is?? [12:07 AM] Wack'd: So Reed says the anecdote is only temporary, and Inhumans will continue to have problems because there is no place left on Earth that truly has clean air. [12:08 AM] Bocaj: Time to go to the MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON? [12:08 AM] Wack'd: No place left on Earth. [12:08 AM] Wack'd: Yep! We're doin this [12:10 AM] Wack'd: The same book that gave us the Clone Saga also gave us the idea that you can just move Attilan around, apparently! Wild

[12:10 AM] Wack'd: Thanks, What If #30 [12:11 AM] Bocaj: Cool of you to pose next to the moon, reed [12:12 AM] Bocaj: -google what if 30- Ah, a non what if story where the Eternals help the Inhumans move Attilan. No wonder they had to put it in with a spider story, otherwise nobody would have bought it [12:12 AM] Wack'd: You know, I wouldn't have called this issue good before this point, but it was one where the flaws were entirely technical.

[12:13 AM] Wack'd: A little too much to ask for, I guess [12:13 AM] Bocaj: God [12:13 AM] Wack'd: Don't free your slaves! They're stupid and will die without your noble guidance! [12:13 AM] Wack'd: Jesus. [12:14 AM] Bocaj: So, hey, Byrne. 'Buddy'? This pretty closely echoes actual real world racist rhetoric so maybe don't? [12:15 AM] Wack'd: So, uh, Attilan takes off. Black Bolt takes the time to carve a gravestone for Maximus in the Himalayas. [12:16 AM] Wack'd: SHIELD takes notice. This might be important later. Or it might not. Who knows. [12:19 AM] Bocaj: I don't think its too important to this story but the plot, such as it is, in the Avengers Annual 12 I'm currently on further fills in the holes for this enclave plot and also reveals that when the UN discovers the Inhumans on the Moon they're furious that the FF just. Did that. And didn't tell anyone. [12:19 AM] Wack'd: "I am sworn not to interfere! So, y'know, thanks for dropping a buncha slavers on my doorstep. I'm on a diet, you wanna leave behind a quart of ice cream while you're at it?"

[12:19 AM] Bocaj: Hah [12:19 AM] maxwellelvis: And Byrne takes Uatu back to the weird toddler proportions. [12:20 AM] maxwellelvis: That was a thing when he was on X-Men, too. [12:20 AM] Bocaj: I think I prefer the weird toddler proportions to when he has a man body and a baby head [12:20 AM] Bocaj: its. unpleasant [12:22 AM] Bocaj: Fun pointless trivia: Uatu already has neighbors [12:22 AM] Bocaj: Its going to later be retconned that the Kree and Skrull assholes that killed each other on the moon during the dark phoenix saga [12:22 AM] Bocaj: Didn't die [12:22 AM] Bocaj: And just kept fighting to the death for a year [12:22 AM] Bocaj: In the blue area [12:23 AM] Bocaj: I wonder which neighbors he prefers [12:23 AM] maxwellelvis: Uatu with more realistic proportions looks like Zontar [12:23 AM] Wack'd: And so, the story comes to a heartwarming end with Reed being a racist

[12:23 AM] Bocaj: Panel 1 quicksilver sure is a thing [12:23 AM] Bocaj: The fuck is wrong with his face [12:24 AM] maxwellelvis: John Byrne just really hates him, I think. [12:24 AM] Bocaj: (That applies to panel 1 quicksilver and also zontar uatu) [12:24 AM] Wack'd: And so in Inhumanville they say the Quicksilver's heart grew three sizes that day [12:25 AM] Bocaj: Until later when he took a level up in dickery and tried to expose his Normal Daughter to terrigenesis because he was upset she didn't have powers [12:25 AM] Bocaj: Writers just don't like Pietro [12:25 AM] Wack'd: I feel like I'm gonna have to pace myself on Bryne [12:26 AM] Bocaj: Would you say [12:26 AM] Bocaj: That you feel [12:26 AM] Bocaj: you might get [12:26 AM] Bocaj: Byrned out? [12:38 AM] Wack'd: Very possibly, yes!

[exordiumed]

prescience

↳ superpower au | college au | friends to lovers au

pairing: oh sehun & you (featuring kim jongin, do kyungsoo, park chanyeol)

genre: fluff + barely there angst

word count: 4.016 words

summary: he could see the future, but he never saw you coming

You would think that having precognition powers would be quite beneficial, being able to stay out of danger and such.

But for Sehun, he rarely uses his powers, if ever. He likes not knowing what’s going to happen, or so he says. He likes being on his toes, the unknown, a real challenge.

And then there was you. The biggest unknown in his life.

Sehun remembers the day he discovered his powers. The day of his 16th birthday. He was walking home from school, when he had a total Raven Baxter moment where he had a vision of his friends and family setting up birthday party decorations in his home and then hiding. Confused, he shook off the vision and chalked it up to his subconscious’s wishful thinking. 

Or so he thought, until he opened his front door and was greeted by utter silence. Shrugging off his backpack and toe-ing off his shoes, he decided to try something. 

“Guys, I know you’re all here the surprise party didn’t work.”

His statement was met with groans and “aww’s” and a “who told you?!”. Sehun shrugged and told them he just had a feeling. A feeling that would happen to him a lot more frequently than he would’ve liked. 

The second time his powers was made known to him, was a week before his grandmother passed away. This time, the vision showed him his grandmother flatlining, and her funeral. Disturbed by this, he decided to visit his grandmother everyday of the week, until she passed. But Sehun still didn’t believe he could see the future, maybe it was just pure luck, he thought.

The third time it happened, well, let’s say Sehun was less convinced of it being luck and more of him actually having a superpower. This time, he was out with his friends, walking around town after having dinner together. Once again, he saw into the future. This time, he saw someone run up to a random lady, rob them, and then run away.

“Someone’s going to rob that lady,” he said.

His friends halted their steps and turned to look at him like he grew a second head.

“Uhh.. What are you talking about?”

Sehun titled his head in the woman’s direction and watched.

Sure enough, some random mugger came running up behind her, snatched her handbag and ran off. But not too far off because Sehun was ready for him and surprised him by tackling him and ripping the lady’s handbag off of his grubby hands.

After calling the police, and returning the stolen bag, his friends asked him a question he was still trying to figure out the answer to.

“How’d you know that was gonna happen?”

And then one day, he got his answer.

His mind filled to the brim with questions of his visions, his knowledge of things happening before they happened, he decided to ask his father. He just had a feeling his father would hold the answers he needed.

And hold the answers he did.

A knowing smile appeared on his father’s face the moment Sehun came to him about his questions of having visions and seeing the future. The two sat down in the living room and suddenly Sehun was introduced to a world he thought only existed in comic books and movies. It turns out, his father had powers too, telekinesis. And so did his grandparents, and his great-grandparents and so on. Apparently, he was from a long line of superpowered humans, also known as metahumans. They’re not really common knowledge to the general public, in fear of their reaction and potential conflict between the two communities.

His dad figured Sehun didn’t have any powers since, he married a non-superpowered human and also, powers don’t take too long to manifest in metahumans so for the most part, he assumed Sehun didn’t have any powers. Nonetheless, he was proud his son had any, he was happy the legacy of the Oh family being metahumans would continue on.

“You know what this means now don’t you?”

“Huh?”

“You’re gonna be transferred to a school for metahumans now.”

Surprisingly, Sehun wasn’t all that upset. Sure, he would miss his normal school and his normal classes and his normal friends, but he was excited at starting a new life. A superpowered one.

Settling into The Academy (very creative name, he thought) was a lot more easier than he thought he would be. After a quick tour of the main building and also the dorm he would be staying in, he decided that he liked this place.

He liked his roommate too, a shy boy with a laugh that could probably cure cancer, Kim Jongin. The first day they met, Jongin introduced himself with the basics: name, age and also superpower, which would soon become the norm for Sehun.

“So, you can see the future? That’s so cool!”

“I think absorbing and copying anyone’s and everyone’s power is a lot cooler than mine, but thanks.”

Within a week, Sehun was introduced to Jongin’s friend group consisting of Kyungsoo, an intimidating but very nice metahuman who could sense and control magnetism, and Chanyeol, a big friendly giant pyrokinetic. Sehun liked them too.

This place wasn’t so bad after all. Albeit, a bit mundane. For a school of metahumans you would’ve expected a lot more action in this place, but it just felt like his old school, but now he was older and just had more resources to train his power. It was then, when Sehun decided he liked seeing into the future, but, he liked the unknown a lot more. He told his roommate this, and was met with a look that said, “what the fuck?” but he explained that, knowing everything that will happen gets boring after a while. He wants to be surprised, kept on his toes, a lot of people fear the unknown but Sehun embraced it.

His first surprise was you.

Jongin had dragged him to some random party happening in some random dorm and Sehun didn’t have the heart to tell him he wasn’t in the mood for a party. The pair quickly found Kyungsoo and Chanyeol tucked away in a corner casually sitting down on some sofa and drinking.

“You’re here!”

“I mean, of course we are you invited us, and by invited, I mean threatened.” Was Kyungsoo’s stupidly funny but accurate reply to Jongin’s exclamation.

Jongin, who seemingly ignored Kyungsoo’s reply, immediately set off toward the makeshift dancefloor in the living room. Sehun didn’t really take Jongin for the party type either but he supposed Jongin just wanted an excuse to dance. Sehun liked dancing too, and that was probably how the two of them became good friends so quickly, but he wasn’t about to join Jongin, not when he was still trying to get used to the noisy environment he found himself in. Deciding he needed fresh air, he quietly slipped out the window and onto the fire escape outside and took a few moments to collect himself.

“Hey.”

A soft voice shocked him out of his thoughts and he realised he wasn’t alone on the tiny fire escape.

“Hey,” he replied while he calmed his heart. He wondered what you were doing out here, the same as him perhaps?

“Couldn’t wait to get out of there huh?”

“I guess you could say that. I’m Sehun.”

“(Y/N).” You stick your hand out for a handshake and he takes it. You like the way his hand fits into yours, but you don’t dwell on the thought. The two of you sit on the fire escape. Admiring the night sky, relishing in the slight breeze. It didn’t take long before you broke the (comfortable) silence between the both of you.

“I guess I have to ask.. What’s your power?”

“Precognition.”

“Cool,” you started. “So, can you only tell your future?”

He shrugged. “I guess so, but I suppose I could train myself into seeing other people’s futures. That’d be cool wouldn’t it? What’s yours then?”

“Probability manipulation,” you said. You saw how his eyes widened and you had to stop yourself from giggling, though you couldn’t stop the small smile that played on your lips and Sehun thought he quite liked seeing you smile and a small part of him would like to see more of it.

“Wow,” he breathed. “So, you can just make yourself lucky? And other people unlucky? And you can make unlikely events happen? Is that how your powers work?” Sehun couldn’t help the amount of questions that spilled out of his mouth but if he was being honest, your power fascinated him. He would’ve loved a power like that, it seemed fun. Not saying that he didn’t enjoy his own one, but probability manipulation seemed very intriguing to him.

“I guess you could say that,” you echoed his words from earlier, and Sehun grinned.

Sehun briefly checked the time on his phone before deciding to return back to his friends, and more importantly making sure his roommate was safe. He turned to you and smiled.

“I enjoyed talking to you.”

It was your turn to smile this time. “Me too.”

“See you around.”

And with that, he left. A part of you thought you should’ve done something to make him stay longer, to get to know him better. Or maybe he looked into the future and he didn’t like talking to you and decided he should get rid of himself from the situation. You shook your head. Whatever it was, you hoped you would see him again. Though, you could use your power to make it happen, a small childish part of you wanted to leave it up to fate.

It was about a week before you saw him again. It has been a long seven days with him occupying your thoughts at all times. You chided yourself, it was stupid really, you’ve talked to the guy for like a good half hour and here you were unable to rid your mind of him. You’re just glad your roommate isn’t a telepath otherwise you’d never hear the end of it. Sighing for the nth time that day, you decided to take a walk around the school.

Heading out towards the front lawn of the school where everyone likes to hang out at on sunny days like these, you quietly hoped you would see Sehun again. Again, you were entirely aware of the fact that you could make your powers make it happen for you, but you wanted it to happen genuinely.

And perhaps the universe had heard your prayers, because while your head was in the clouds, your body had collided into someone’s back.

“Watch where you’re-“

That voice.

“(Y/N)?” You really liked the way your name sounded with his voice.

“Sehun?” The aforementioned man’s mouth broke out into a grin when he fully processed that it was you who bumped into him.

“Fancy seeing you again,” you said.

“You sure you didn’t use your powers just so you could see me again?” He teased. You laughed and smacked his shoulder, though you were thinking of it earlier on. The two of you walked towards a tree and sat underneath it, a welcome shade from the sun and wonderful place to relax and finally get to know the man you’ve been dying to see for the past week. And the rest was history.

From that day on, the two of you became inseparable. Jongin even joked about you replacing him as his best friend but you laughed and said there was always space for him in Sehun’s heart even though you wanted to be the only one in his heart. Though, you weren’t sure if it was going to happen any time soon. This Fate thing really needed to hurry up and make it happen, because you really really liked him, and you hoped that he did too.

And he did, but he was confused. He sees the way Jongin looks at you, and the way you look at him and it upsets him. He knows the two of you had been spending a lot of time together. It left him feeling… jealous? Which led to him feeling confused. You’re not together and he sure as hell has no reason for feeling this way. He’s confused with all the things left unsaid between the both of you and the hidden meanings behind every word, every gesture the two of you make. Sometimes he fools himself into thinking, you see him the way he sees you, but he eliminates every single thought of that. There’s no way. You deserved far better than just Sehun. You deserved Jongin, and he deserved you. His two favourite people together.

And so, days, weeks, months, passed with neither of you doing anything about your feelings. But, the two of you did become even better friends, almost like you were two peas in a pod. Wherever you went, Sehun was there and wherever Sehun went, you were there. That’s just how the world works now. Though, you weren’t sure how long you could keep your feelings at bay. You were tired of being unsure of how he felt for you. You could very well end your suffering whenever you liked by just asking him, but for some reason, you can’t. You’re not blind. You see the way he looks at your roommate whenever she hangs out with you and the rest of the guys. And your roommate is pretty cute. Sometimes, he confuses you. Just like every single boy you’ve encountered in your life.

Sehun’s second surprise was Jongin.

“What?”

“I said, I know you like (Y/N). Honestly, you’ve been living with me for how long now and you still think I can’t see right through you. I’m offended at the lack of faith you have in me Sehun.”

“You’re not mad?”

Jongin gave him a look. “What am I supposed to be mad for?”

“I thought you liked her too,” Sehun said, though he felt stupid the moment the words came out from his mouth. They’re not in high school anymore, why was he acting like this?

“You have got to be the biggest idiot I’ve ever met. No, I don’t. I’m far more interested in her cute roommate though.”

That probably explained why Jongin and you had been spending a lot of time. He probably just used her as a buffer for Jongin and your roommate to hang out. And that also explained why your roommate always asked him about Jongin every time she bumped into him. To say Sehun felt like an idiot was an understatement. And he didn’t feel any better when he saw the smirk Jongin was giving him, though he supposed he did deserve it.

“You’re welcome, by the way,” Jongin confidently says as he walks out the door.

Sehun gave his front door a long, hard stare before deciding that he wanted to see you. Grabbing his phone, he left and immediately his feet took him in the direction of your building. He passed by Jongin and your roommate on the corridor leading to your room and Jongin sent him a wink.

“She’s waiting for you,” he says.

Sehun doubted that, but walked towards your door anyway. And he stood there. He was standing outside your room, thinking of his plan of action. If he wanted you, this had to be absolutely perfect. He decided, to look into the future.

His vision showed him, walking into your room, you laying on your bed and your face showing absolute delight in seeing Sehun. His vision showed him confessing to you, and Sehun thought he was ready for what happened next, he wasn’t. He saw your grin slowly fade off from your face and he heard you say: “Sehun, I’m sorry.”

And he decided he had seen enough. And so he left. It was a shame though, if he had decided to delve deeper into the future he would’ve seen the whole story. He would’ve seen the two of you talking your doubts out like normal adults, he would’ve seen the two of you eventually realising you liked each other, and he would’ve seen you finally being in his arms.

But he didn’t.

Jongin came home to a very dejected Sehun. He could tell what had happened earlier in the day.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Sehun decided that the best course of action was to avoid you. Brilliant, obviously, so he could have the time and space he needed to get over his feelings for you. It was so brilliant, he didn’t realise he was hurting you too.

You were left even more confused than before. You thought you meant something to him, being his best friend and all. But here he was, avoiding you. It hurt. And the worst part was, you had no idea what you had done. You were hurt, but most importantly, you were tired and by God, you were going to tell this boy you liked him whether he wanted to hear it or not.

Maybe, you should’ve come up with a plan before barging over to his dorm, because now here you were standing outside his door like an idiot.

Steeling yourself, you knew that this was something you had to do, you’ve had enough of this stupid boy and his stupid actions and you were gonna tell him you had feelings for him dammit.

Before you could regret your decision, you knocked thrice on his door and you immediately regretted your decision anyway. Before you could turn and walk away from this situation, the door swung open and there he was. You wanted to be mad at him, but how could you? You liked him far too much for you to be mad at him, even if he was being as ass and pushing you away the past few days.

“We need to talk,” you started. Okay, maybe you should’ve come up with a better starter because that’s the number one sentence that induces panic in people.

“Sure,” he said after much hesitation and moved so you could enter his room.

,“I’m sorry,” was the first thing you said when you entered, awkwardly standing in his doorway with his back facing you as he walked further in, but upon hearing your words, he whirled around.

“What?”

“I’m sorry, for whatever I did to make you avoid me for like an entire week! So, whatever it is, I’m sorry,” you said. You could feel him staring at you. His eyes piercing, like he could stare through your soul or something. You swallowed hard.

“I think I’m the one who should be sorry,” he said. “It was.. a dick move to avoid you like that, especially when you haven’t done anything to me, and especially because I did it to get over you.”

“Get over me?”

Shock was written on his face, clearly he hadn’t meant to say that, but the words had already come out of his mouth, he needed to deal with it.

“I had, or I guess I still have feelings for you and I know you didn’t feel the same way so I guess I decided to stay away from you..?” His explanation came out more as a question than as an actual statement, but he supposed he was just nervous of your reaction.

Incredulous, you asked, “and how do you know I don’t feel the same way?”

Sehun swallowed. He knew he was gonna sound like a total clown explaining why, but he’s already gotten himself knee-deep into this mess, he’s going to have to see himself through it.

“I saw the future.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. He’s an idiot. But he’s your idiot. And one good thing to come out from this messy discussion was that he had feelings for you, and that was enough to lift your spirits from the Sehun-less week you had prior to this.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Sehun smiled sheepishly. “Why don’t you come confess and see what my real answer would’ve been?”

“What?”

“You heard me. Confess, and I’ll tell you what my answer is.”

Sehun was nervous, to say the least. He wasn’t sure why; it wasn’t like he hasn’t confessed before. There was just something about you that made him nervous. He didn’t want to lose you, he wanted you with him, for a very, very long time. It kind of scared him, how much he needed you, depended on you. He never thought he would end up being that kind of guy, becoming so attached to someone, like how someone needed air, he needed you. He didn’t know how long he had felt like this, but after a week without you, it felt like a part of him had been ripped away, and as dramatic as that may be, he realised one thing: it was a mistake to push you away.

Swallowing, he began, “(Y/N), I like you. A lot. Like really a lot. Like so much, that I can’t even begin to explain it. It scares me, how much I like you, but I really do, and it was wrong of me to assume you didn’t feel the same because of some vision I had of the future. I-I hope you feel the same way, but it’s okay if you don’t, we can just be friends, that’s okay with me too. I just need you in my life someway somehow.”

He’d never admit it, getting that out of his system felt good. 

“I like you too.”

Sehun thinks he’s hearing things, and you repeat yourself because he was looking at you with his brows furrowed, like you were saying it just to trick him, even though that was far from the truth. You liked him, truly, and you finally told him. You repeated yourself over, and over again until his frown melted into a smile that made his eyes turn into crescent moons and you could practically see the happiness radiate off him.

You nearly had the wind knocked out of you as he sudden rushed towards you and lifted you into his arms and spun you around. He slowly lowered you back down and peppered your face in kisses. If you’d known he would be this affectionate, you would’ve told him a lot sooner. You giggled at this.

He cupped your face in his hands and looked into your eyes, and you couldn’t help but think that this whole situation felt a bit too romantic drama-y for you, but it’s Sehun so you didn’t care.

“You like me.”

“Mhm.”

“And I like you.”

“Yep.”

He smiled again before moving closer to give you a sweet kiss, one of many, you hoped.

The moment was interrupted when the door swung open to reveal a rather smug looking Jongin with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo behind him.

“I told you so,” said Jongin. “C’mon lovebirds, let’s grab some food, I’ve been waiting for the two of you to make up so we can all hang out together so let’s go!”

The three of them left, and you made a move to leave, but not before Sehun took your hand in his and placed a kiss on your forehead.

The two of you were disgustingly sweet, but the two of you were also bickering and play-fighting and trying to out-sass the other person. It felt like you two were best friends who kissed and slept together occasionally. Maybe that’s just how it was meant to be.

Like the sun rising in the East and setting in the West, the way the Earth revolves around the sun, the way Jongin never fails to absorb Sehun’s precognition powers just to get a glimpse of his own future; you and him were just meant to be, simply put.

In all of the worlds, now and forever, in all of the lives that you are, in every version of your lifetime, you love him, you will love him, and he loves you, and he will love you. And one will never be without the other.

[bitletsanddrabbles]

Day 11: Breath

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Pairing: General

Characters: Doctor Clarkson, Thomas Barrow (technically)

Warnings: Season six, episode eight. Apparently this prompt calls for either super trite sop or philosophical, brooding angst. I went with option B. Loudly. Also, it was written over the span of the past two days when I wasn’t feeling my best and, therefore, probably waxes a bit pretentious and needs some going over. Con crit welcome.

The world was reduced to the needle, moving in and out of abused skin, drawing nowhere near enough blood, and the barely-there sound of breathing. Doctor Clarkson stitched as quickly as he could, as neat and precise as any valet or Lady’s maid repairing a torn coat sleeve. He tried not to look up and see the too pale face lying on the pillows. Time was the most valuable commodity he had right now, and he dare not waste it.

He’d been surprised when Anna’s call had come, of course. No one ever truly sees these things coming. He was at a loss to know how Miss Baxter had caught on. Yes, he had been surprised, but not shocked, as the rest of the household. Instead the surprise had spiraled into a sickening sense of inevitability. It was the same feeling as when he realized a cancer had spread to a patient’s vital organs or that even the most modern of treatments wasn’t working. The feeling that no matter what he did, no matter how he fought, he was fighting against something too big for him to defeat.

He finished the first wrist and stood, crossing around to the other side of the bed, pausing only to listen and assure himself that there was still a fight to be fought here. Thankfully Thomas had always been a fighter, even if that had proven more of a problem for those around him than not.  But it was undoubtedly as much a part of why he persisted in drawing air despite his own, willful attempt at self destruction as Miss Baxter’s timely intervention. He untied the neat knot she had made in the strip of ripped fabric and tried not to let the fear that Thomas would change his mind, that his fighting spirit would give up and work against him, completely choke him.

He wasn’t good to anyone if he stopped breathing himself.

Setting aside the makeshift bandage, he started in with the needle again. He wondered, trying to distract himself just enough to stay calm, if Miss Baxter had any medical experience. Even if she hadn’t been a nurse proper, there were plenty of women who had volunteered at the hospitals and convalescence homes. At any rate, she seemed to know exactly how to tie a bandage. He wished he’d had more time to speak with her, in the past. She wouldn’t be able to volunteer at the hospital, of course, not with her career, but it would have been nice to know there was someone here who could help in an emergency. It had been that way when Lord Grantham’s ulcer had burst. Calling on Thomas for help had been second nature. He’d not for a moment thought that without a war going on the younger man would hesitate to follow orders or would have forgotten the necessary training. Without him, who knew? Perhaps Lord Grantham would have been another life lost.

He realized he was clenching his jaw and forced it to relax. He concentrated on his own breathing, in and out, two stitches per breath. Medical training or not, Miss Baxter had gotten there in time and done what needed doing. Once stitched up, the only worry would be the possibility of infection, and he told himself that wasn’t likely. Not here. Not in Downton Abbey. Here there was no trench mud to work its way into the wounds, no sweat to wash contaminates into them. He didn’t need to worry about gangrene taking hold, not with such able care takers as resided in the Abby’s walls.  And even if, for some reason, Thomas’s own bed should become unusable, there was no shortage here. There would be no need to kick someone out in order to keep the injured man from lying out under a canvas tent, with insufficient shelter from the elements and pests.

It wasn’t the war.

And he tried not to think about the war. He tried not to think about that lieutenant that Thomas had liked so much. He didn’t think there had been anything in it, really, at least not from the other side, but looking back on it he should have known that sending the young soldier away would break Thomas’s heart. He should have expected a fight.  And of course, he hadn’t gone, not the way he was supposed to. In the end the doctor wondered, if he’d been able to act differently, if he’d had the luxury of letting the lieutenant stay or reason things out with Thomas rather than simply exerting his authority as an army Major who couldn’t, under any circumstances, let his underlings question him and his judgment, if things would somehow be different now. If the lieutenant would have lived, if he’d have kept contact. If that touch stone would have meant he wasn’t sitting here with his needle.

It didn’t really matter, though, did it? It didn’t matter because he hadn’t had that luxury. Instead he’d had more injured than he had beds, had not enough medicine at any given time, had notices flooding in from his superiors to expect more and make room for them. He’d had nurses and orderlies with family who, had word gotten around that he’d made allowances for Thomas and Lady Sybil, would have press ganged him into filling every bed with their injured loved ones until they lost more men to infection and pneumonia than they saved.

He had tried, in his way, to make up for it, promoting Thomas to acting sergeant without even a pretense of a fight when Lady Grantham asked, but it was a feeble effort at best. The war had been too big for him to defeat.

He was about three quarters of the way through when he noticed something small and dark along the edge of the wound. The fear of infection flared brightly in his mind and was ruthlessly squelched. It was too soon for anything to have set in, he told himself. The cut simply wanted a bit of cleaning, that was all. Probing gently at the little black line revealed it to be a thread from the bandage, stuck in the congealing blood and easily lifted out. He pressed on, repeating his assurances to himself and adding the reminder that Thomas had survived a light infection the summer before, so it would take something quite serious to kill him now. He firmly ignored the fact that in the younger man’s current, weakened state, even an abscessing side would be difficult to recover from. There was no one to administer tainted placebos and false promises, not here. Here there was, once again, Miss Baxter, steadily becoming the greatest,  reassuring light in the darkness. The woman who had brought Thomas to him when fear would have kept him away, now matter how clearly ill he was.

The fact that she’d had to bring him, that fear had that great a hold, left Doctor Clarkson with that same, inevitable despairing feeling. Yes, he’d been able to treat the infection, but he hadn’t been able to get anywhere near the source of the problem, had he? He could offer as many pretty words of advice as he liked, but it wouldn’t cleanse the infection of an intolerant society. Perhaps if he’d been less aware of Miss Baxter’s presence, or more confident in her caring, he could have done more. Perhaps if he’d assured Thomas more thoroughly that he, himself, didn’t care about such things, that he wanted the younger man to be whole and healthy despite it all, that would have fixed something. But he’d been wary of giving wrong impressions or offending delicate sensibilities. The world was too big for him to defeat.

With a sense of relief he stitched the last stitch, tied off the thread and cut it, and re-bandaged Thomas’s wrists. Mechanically he gathered his tools, washed them in the basin of water Mrs. Hughes had thoughtfully provided, and tucked them away in his bag where they belonged.  There was nothing to keep him there. And yet he stood, for several minutes, simply watching Thomas lie there, unmoving, listening to him breathe. Finally he reached out, smoothed backed a few strands of hair that had been mussed in all of the fuss which he was quite certain Thomas would have hated if he were awake, and turned to leave. He wasn’t quite certain where he was going. Downstairs, first, to let Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes know that all should be well. Then? The hospital was the obvious answer. There would be other patients, other fights to win or lose. There was paperwork for the merger that, despite his surrender, he was still uneasy about. The afternoon had not left his mind any more at ease with the thought that, despite promises, he might one day not be able to personally watch over the people he cared about, but rather have to send them to York, to someone he’d never met. He didn’t want to face that, not yet. He could go to the pub, but he wasn’t hungry. A year ago he might have called on Mrs. Crawley, invited her to tea or some such, divided his burden with her, but he wasn’t yet comfortable taking that liberty with Lady Merton. The wedding had not ended the friendship, but it had changed it.

The last option was to go home to his empty house, maybe make himself some tea, and try to read or fill the time some other way that didn’t leave space for brooding. He rejected that option out of hand. Loneliness was too big for him to defeat.