#get this tag going to complain about their rep.

[caocao-caokie-blog]

First to preface, I am a Filipino-American, so most of my points might be moot.

I will be fair, I think Natlan’s release could be like the “in time of danger, people show their true colors” event that we just literally couldn’t stop because Hoyo decided to f*ck with us. Tbh, I am angry, and I am still very angry about the representation in the region, but I also feel that we may have lost the plot a long way ago.

First: Natlan is fine being colorful. While it is the land of war, I think it helps with tone, and not every nation has to follow a specific path of their designated…allegiance? Blessing??? Look, I can’t remember so I’m going to use ‘epithet’ as a catch all for that.

Second: Y’all, Chasca isn’t that bad. Stop with the death threats. Get over it. Y’all are riding Chasca’s dick so hard that she makes the gun make sense in game, stop fucking threatening people just because you don’t like something. I swear, some people need to get their internet privileges revoked indefinitely.

- Also, putting this here. Just because Chasca’s design is supposed to be a Vaquero doesn’t mean it looks like one to the uneducated. Two things. The people who are helping spread the word of her design inspired are angels, and bless their souls. But, our reactions should be taken as a product of bad design. Even if we were to have known she was a vaquero/cowboy, I think most people would have said “🤔” and moved on. To me personally, I see her having a bit of Soldadera in her but oh well.

Thirdly: To me, I would probs be seen as your anti or smth because people can’t have nuance I guess??? I digress, I think the reaction by some of the fanbase who are supporting the colorism and racist (I’m mainly Mualani’s tribe being happy-go-lucky Hawaiians working in tourism as my basis for this claim.) should also be put on full blast and I’m sick and tired of us being okay with this. Honestly, I haven’t seen much takes on how most of them say “it’s a fantasy game they don’t need to represent you” and them hiding behind Latin Americans who are fine with the rep because like are POC(People of Color) unable to be placed in fantasy settings? And we shouldn’t forget that Latin America is heavily stigmatized with their Afro Latinos and Native groups, they are still struggling. Hell! There has been mass sterilization of Native women without consent in the 1990s, we can’t fucking forget that! It just pisses me off seeing YouTube Culture discourse peddlers trying to say we’re wrong for getting accurate rep and discrediting our feelings using the rest of the fanbase as an example.

Fourth: I’m mainly pissed off at Mualani’s tribe and the People of the Springs depiction. This probably stems from me having a Professor who was Hawaiian, but my feeling at their depiction is just utterly deplorable. It’s like if they depicted a Chumash inspired character and made them happy owning a casino resort. No, they do not work there for fun, they are not sharing their culture willingly. It is being commodified and used by colonial settlers in order to line their pockets, thank you next. P.S. I know it isn’t as equatable since the Chumash chose to open their casinos on their reservations, which btw still fucked up because they had to do it to survive under colonial society, but my point still stands that the tribe’s depiction is deeply fucked and I want more depth. Also, maybe some more farming fields that work with the rivers! This would be cool!

Fifth: Can someone help me find tumbler users or anyone who is covering the Natlan issue through the lense as a Native/Indigenous person. I have seen specifically every person under the sun except the people who are being represented talk about this and it is upsetting. Also, if they aren’t playing/don’t see this, that doesn’t make it right for Hoyo to exploit and use their culture disrespectfully for their own gain! It was absolute HELL for me to try and find someone online who was native to cover the Metzli tribe and I’m currently pruning like a raisin. Passed, but still, drying up. Plus, I have heard Latin American voices about the representation. But how about the Africans? The Māori? The Hawaiians? The Hopi? The Maya? Like, I get it, it is your culture, but many other people have a say in this pie as well. This feels like a smaller version of “White people don’t speak for me”. Callmp me controversial, and to be fair, I am, but I am deeply disturbed that many of you are simply fine with the way things are. But then again, I literally am not part of these cultures featured (except apparently there’s a bit of Filipino culture in Natlan but I dunno where so I’m going to say I have no stake in this. Also, I have this from information from another post in the past I p will try to find.) so I have no say on the matter.

I’m so sorry you had to take on my rant op but I have been simmering on this for a long time and I just want to see Ifa so bad plz come because we need some melanin in the game the genetic pool is so dry/j.

i just need to rant a bit-

i truly feel like genshin has gone down since natlan, and not even because of the nation itself, but the way the fuckass fandom has reacted to it. i’m not going to lie, i am also disappointed in the execution of many of the characters and the archon quest so far, but i also do not think natlan is nearly as bad as people are making it out to be. i’ve also heard people say that the landscape is the ugliest in the whole game, and can I be honest? i think the biggest reason is because it’s different. most of the other nations have been more muted and/or monochrome, but then we get natlan with its loud music and bright colors and people are upset. (do they not realize that latin america, what natlan is heavily based off of, is also extremely colorful and vibrant??)

i used to love being in this fandom so much because of the community we’ve built, but now it’s all so negative because people look for the bad in everything. like i said, i also think natlan could be better in so many ways, but i also at the same time think that it’s so cool and fun and unique and it makes me sad to see the once passionate community shitting on it every fucking chance they get.

i think if hoyo was better at giving us the diversity they supposedly advertise they have (i.e i am so mad that literally just about every character in the whole damn game has the same skin tone-) that people would be enjoying natlan the way they did sumeru or inazuma (fontaine is still peak imo). when natlan first came out, i remember most people were happy and excited to explore and try the new characters but then people started hating and it festered into this big ugly thing and now i can’t go to a single platform where the genshin fandom exists without getting death threats for saying i like Chasca.

grow up, guys. you’re allowed not to like things, that’s totally totally okay. but we’ve turned the genshin fandom into this nasty place (granted, it was never that great to begin with.. but at least before natlan i didn’t have rats in my ear bashing on me for liking a character/nation every second). it just makes me sad because while natlan could be so much better, people refuse to even try and enjoy it a little bit and now ion even wanna talk to anyone about it anymore.

anyways sorry for this it probably doesn’t make sense sorry for sounding angry but yeh.. i’ve enjoyed natlan. just don’t send me death threats if that makes you angry ig 🤷‍♀️

[aromanticannibal]

I saw someone complain about how apparently raine was created only to be eda's love interest and op was like hoho ofc the only nb character is a love interest with no character development and like.

I'm sorry I am physically unable to see this as a problem. raine is good representation, like they just are. not ever queer character needs to be incredibly important to the plot to be good rep? also it's not like raine is a side character that was thrown in in the back for cheap rep, they have an important role for eda's developpment and theyre literally the head of the rebellion against belos (aside from eda who rebels against everything). and THEY'RE NOT THE ONLY NON BINARY CHARACTER EITHER?? masha I think is their name is nb too (and they are a very very side character but we already have raine it's not like they're the only nb character again) and the collector uses he/they pronouns im pretty sure. good lord.

I want to bang my head against a wall. how do you Live.

it reminds me of when I saw someone saying TOH is shit queer representation and racist (??? somehow) because it doesn't do enough? bro? the main character is a neurodivergent OPENLY bisexual black latina girl. what do you want MORE. she's in a relationship with her lesbian girlfriend, the world girlfriend was said, trey kiss and hold hand. They put so much diversity in this show it got fucking canceled.

[overwhelmed-frog]

also we do know that queerbaiting and shipbaiting are not the same… right? right??? a show that has an entirely explicitly canonically queer ensemble cast isn’t queerbaiting just because a queer ship doesn’t end up together. we can be disappointed without misusing a term that refers to a specific phenomenon that does not apply here. also while we’re at it, just because a character hasn’t identified themselves as gay, bi, pan, etc in those words doesn’t mean they don’t count as canonically queer. not everyone uses labels, I thought we knew this. if they have talked about past relationships/sex with people of the same gender and explicitly had gay sex in canon NUMEROUS times or literally have been GAY MARRIED, they’re not suddenly not queer just because they’ve never specifically said the words “I’m bisexual” or whatever

[unconventional-lawnchair]

Can you do a Remus Lupin and Reader where she gets hurt during quidditch and he helps her around the castle? Thank you so much and I love your writing

A/n: Thank you so much for the request!! I literally dropped everything to do this, oml. I will always priorities Reqs but this was so cute!!

Also, just realized requests weren't set to allow annon automatically?? That has been fixed on my end

Break a Leg Not My Heart

Can't Help Falling in Love Elvis Presley

Remus Lupin x Reader

Wc- 4960

Cw; Use of Y/N, Cussing, negative thoughts, reader is unhinged, reader is unsirius, (Tell me if i missed anything!)

taglist- @otterlockholmes

Everyone knew Remus Lupin could be a bit of a push over. 

Now, that's not to say he wasn't stern and serious when he needed to be, when he knew what was best, or just when Sirius said much of anything that started with ‘Hear me out.’

He was a Prefect, he was known for being a certain quality of student. Studious, always in the library studying with Lily Evans and {Y/N} {L/N}. Wise beyond his years, helping anyone who needed it. He volunteered to help tutor some of the first years with {Y/N} most Sunday evenings. Punctural, made a point to be on time to everything. Well, if he could help it, you did like to sleep in.

Not many people noticed the common theme in his actions. The traits that made up the Lycan were so tightly woven into his friendships, well, more particularly his friendship with you. He never gave up who he was, he never went that far, but it was clear that in the forethought of his, you were in every equation. Sirius certainly noticed.

Sirius would bemoan about it all the time, how you both insisted you were friends, absolutely clueless. He stood by it, however, friends don't look at eachother like you do. Remus insisted you were friends. Best friends.

The feeling was mutual, of course it was. Who doesn't want to spend every second of the day with their platonic soulmate? You would make a point to drag him around with you everywhere you went. You were never shy about it, your words slowly going from questioning to affirmatives. 

“Remus, I am heading to lunch now, come with me?”

“Remus, we are going to the Black Lake, it's hot.”

“Remus, I have Quidditch practice.”

That was another trait of Remus Lupin. He could care less about Quidditch, but not much less. He would complain about going, as he followed you upstairs to your dorm to help bring your gear down. Would try to decipher the ridiculous rules while finding a seat in the stands with Lily and Mary, both coming to support their respective partners.

That's how you got here now, same routine. You were floating above the stands, even as a backup beater you still had to attend every practice. You would complain to James about it, seeing as you only agreed to it as a favor, but he would tease you about it every time. He was lucky some stuff he said was funny. He so rarely was.

You watched Sirius, who was currently the one you were assigned to tag out. It was a lot of time wasted, just floating near your friends and talking when you were sure James didn't notice. Eventually, you turned to Remus in the stands and smiled to see him furrowing his brow at the strange reps James was making the two beaters do. 

“Rem!” You called over to him and lowered down to his eye level, still a good few yards away from them. He looked up at you and lifted an eyebrow. 

“Yeah?”

“Knock knock!”

He looked at you confused before Lily nudged him. “The muggle joke?”

He furrowed his eyebrows at her next before they shot up in realization. “Ah! Who's knocking?” He called over and you threw your head back in a laugh as Lily covered her mouth with a snicker. Mary holding Lily's shoulder as Remus looked at you three incredulously. 

“That's the bloody line, right?”

“Who's there?” Lily laughed out, and you began to dry your tears.

“Tank!”

“Tank who?”

“You're welc-” Before you could even finish the line there was a loud thud and your head jerked forward. You were confused for a moment, smile slowly falling as you looked at the three.

Everything was slowing down, and no matter how hard you squinted, your vision continued to blur. Suddenly, and gradually, hot burning pain rushed threw the back of your head. It was so jarring you teared up, and you could faintly hear a bunch of voices, but you couldn't make out what they said. Slowly, your grip on your broom lessened. 

Warm drops of what you could only assume was your own ichor dropped down your face. Then, your vision started to flash. You were far too loopy to panic, images of you on your broom slipped into a slideshow of you falling, that ended right before you hit the ground.

~~~

“She'll need to rest for the next two days for it to heal, her head is fine but her leg will need some getting used to. Two days in a cast should do her fine.”

Madam Pomfrey’s voice filled the room and you stirred with a whine. Eyes fluttering open and blinded by the lights above. 

“Ugh.. my head…” You groaned, bringing your wrist to your throbbing temple. You fluttered open your eyes and looked around you, seeing James pacing the room and Sirius in front him, while Remus seemed to be shouting at him. Your ears began to ring as your blood rushed, so you couldn't hear him, but you could see the vain in his neck bulging out at his irritation. His tanned face a deep red, and Sirius looked apologetic, just taking the verbal battering.

There was a hand on your shoulder and you turned to see Lily and Mary sitting on the chairs beside you, Peter was behind them smiling softly. “Hey,” You couldn't hear him, but you could see his lips moving. You frowned as the words became more elaborate so you couldn't quite track them.

You looked around at your friends' concerned faces. Lily looked past you and you turned, seeing Remus was kneeling by your bed and saying something you couldn't hear. You huffed and rubbed your temple, closing your eyes. The ringing slowly stopped, but the sounds of the room never returned. You opened your eyes and Remus was looking at you, filled with concern. “Starlight?”

That was a mouth shape you recognized. You reached out to touch his hand and squeeze it, blinking a bit before you spoke. “I can't hear a damned thing. But did you get my joke?” 

You watched as Remus seemed to go through the five stages of grief, before he settled on giving you the most unamused, annoyed, dead inside look you had ever witnessed. That made you smile. Well, smirk, mischievously. “That joke is literal gold, you just don't know talent.”

This time, Remus stood up and walked over to madam Pomfrey and after a small exchange she walked off. You looked around the room idly, trying to pretend you weren't anxious, patting your palms against your blanket covered legs. You could see your friends talking, but you couldn't hear a thing. Your nerves were on end. They looked worried, but you tried your best to keep calm and collected. You knew that if you began to worry, show even a bit of panic or upset, everyone else would too. What was the point anyway? Panicking wouldn't fix your hearing.

At least you don't think so-

Eventually, a hand rested on your shoulder. It was comforting and large, your right hand instinctively crossed your body to rest on it. You turned and smiled up at Remus. He held out a parchment to you and it had large chicken scratch on it. You always found how messy his handwriting was hilarious. He thinks faster than he writes.

‘You broke your leg. Pomfrey says it has to stay in a cast for a day or two, as for your hearing, she says it's a trauma response. Your body will return it when it's ready.’

You scoffed and looked at your hands with an offended bravado. “Who says they get to pick when my hearing goes? No appreciation! I keep you alive, you dumb thing!”

You didn't notice how Remus laughed at how ridiculous you were being. He always admired how easily you could brush stuff so big off. Like when you found out about his condition.

“Oh damn. That's.. so not the bee’s knees.’

Not the bee's knees. He had to have Lily explain that to him. Who in their right mind says that? To their friend in the hospital wing after confessing one of his most hated parts of himself?

He didn't know if he hated or loved you in that moment.

It grew on him, even if he denied it. You were just so damn strange.

“Darn, I guess no classes, hm?” You gave a faux sigh of disappointment. You turned to see Remus say something to Madam before turning back to you, smiling and waving his hand the quill began to write.

‘She says I can monitor you for classes, you should be fine.’

You gave him the dirtiest look you could muster.

“Hey, Rem, so you actually suck a lot.”

~~~

Remus had insisted on walking you back to the Gryffindor commons, carrying your equipment the whole way. You had to use a cane for the time being, so the second you tried to pick up the heavy bag you about gave Remus a heart attack.

Sirius, still pouting even after you accepted his millionth apology, coasted behind you both. You really wish you knew what Remus had said to him. 

When you got to your dorm Remus set your things down and set your bed up with a prop for your leg. You continued to complain about the special treatment as he nagged you for your messy side of the dorm while he was at it. You had to admit, Remus was incredibly sweet. It made your heart clench a bit at how much he seemed to care about your current state. 

You sat on your bed, taking off your robe and letting it fall behind you. Watching Remus rant on, for once, a little sad you couldn't hear his lecture. He seemed so determined to make sure you were comfortable.

Little did you know, to Remus, this was the perfect opportunity to return your kindness. To repay you for all the nights you spent with him in the infirmary, the forgiveness and patience you extended to him during the days up to the full moon, and the doting you gave him after. Not to mention, it felt a bit domestic. He would process his guilt over it later, indulging up such a thought with you unaware. 

Eventually, your roommates got annoyed with his rambling. Marlene threw a pillow at him and she grabbed you from behind making you almost scream in surprise. 

She said something to Remus that made him look away bashfully, and he looked at you, mouthing a goodnight that you returned.

~~~

Remus was at your door early in the morning, which gave you a right scare. He offered you his hand and you looked at it before tilting your head at him curiously he mouthed something and you'd don't quite understand, slowly setting your hand in his extended one.

He gave several different expressions in the matter of a second, before he threw his head back in a laugh. Usually, you'd be embarrassed, but you ended up laughing along with him. He looked happy and you knew Remus would never make fun of you out of malice.

He calmed his breathing and lowered your hand back to your cane, before reaching over this time to take your books and make, your mouth opening and a low, “Ooooohhh,” left you. He laughed at that too.

When you made it to breakfast you were talking animatedly and Remus was listening thoughtfully. He would occasionally make a nod or shake his head at some things you said, not able to face you with how your gaze was locked on him to gather all his micro expressions. He had set himself up for disaster.

Once you sat at the table and greeted everyone, you hardly paid attention to Remus. You focused mostly on your food. 

You loved being around your friends, you did, but not being able to hear them was so isolating. You could see Remus talking to James, and by the look on his face, it was likely about something they had done they most certainly shouldn't have. You could see Lily, also giving James the most incredulous look ever. 

Mary and Marlene were talking and glancing at the Hufflepuff table, but you couldn't gather a thing otherwise. Sirius was debating something with Peter who you could only describe as distressed. Some interesting hand movements later and a slap from Marlene, you could assume it was something vile. Soon, you gave in and just soaked up their presence. You didn't need to hear them to be a part of the group, just.. the conversation. 

Suddenly, you gave a small yelp as your leg was lifted. Remus, without stoping his verbal battle with James, lifted your ankle and rested your hurt foot on his lap. You melted a bit, it was always the smaller things he did that let you know you had a best friend in him. 

Just a best friend.

Even as his thumb trailed circles on your exposed knee, his forefingers resting on your inner thigh. Yup. Totally best friends.

~~~

Your leg ended up falling asleep like that. You playfully reprimanded him and he just gave you a laugh that you couldn't hear but your mind filled in the blanks. You noticed how proud and confident he seemed to be, taking care of you. It was sweet.

As you walked from class to class he carried your things and was there at your desk the second the bell rang. Then there were potions.

You shared potions with all of the boys and Lily, so you usually sat with Peter so Sirius could bum off of Remus’s hard work, leaving James to swoon while his girlfriend did all the work. You looked to the board and grimaced, wiggenweld. You knew it was a practice instead of theory day, but you were hoping for an easier potion.

To your surprise, Peter was sitting with a pouting Sirius, your usual spot cleared up. Before you could make a remark Remus put his things down and sat where Peter usually did. You found yourself smiling bright. “What the heck Remus?” You teased and sat down, once again, he lifted your leg onto his lap to keep it elevated.

Like a best friend would do.

“Can't leave me be for a half hour, Remmy?” You teased him as he took out his parchment and began to pull aside ingredients you couldn't reach with your stationary leg.

You were distracted storing out the ingredients by order and scribbling down notes on the more vague steps. You didn't get a chance to notice Remus smiling at you, his eyes sparking with new found fondness. “No I can not.” He muttered to no one in particular.

Not noticing himself as Sirius gestured aggressively to you two in aspiration. Lily laughed at his display and James covered his mouth to hide his smile. Seems Remus was finally clued in.

You began to work on the potion as Slughorn dismissed the class to their assignments. You prepped the ingredients and fell into an easy and fluid motion with Remus. You didn't have a clue why you hadn't worked together before, you did everything together anyway, and Sirius could suck it.

Your friends watched as you smiled down at the horklump, rubbing a spoon over it threw a strainer, giving a laugh as it splattered on your face. Remus watched you, smiling softly. He seemed distracted the whole practical exam, but there wasn't a moment he wasn't listening to you. 

Your test ended with a passing grade, that's all you really needed. Still, Remus apologized for being distracted. 

Remus Lupin was a perfectionist in everything he did. He felt that even in his best moments he was seconds away from failing. He improved himself until there was nothing to improve upon. He aced assignments, mentored underclassmen, pulled off some of the most outrageous pranks in Hogwarts history, he even turned down the head boy position for James, everything he had done in the last seven years felt unsatisfactory. Apathy wasn't a foreign concept to him.

Neither was pity. Those two things were handed out to him in the eyes of everyone he'd ever met. No matter how far Remus came, disappointment was still holding him by his in a silent reminder that nothing would outshine the worst of him. It swallowed him whole most days, his self doubt. So he stayed distracted, chasing the high of praise and approval. 

He was much like Sirius in that regard, but Sirius acted out and Remus did his best to go unnoticed by anyone other than the people closest to him. Unless it was about his achievements.

He wanted to be remarkable and unnoticed, it was the contradiction that was Remus Lupin.

You made him feel those two things, like he was the most important thing in the world, like you couldn't do anything without him. Then, you made him feel like a normal student. Like he was just someone in the herd. He liked that about you.

But having you depend on him, just today, there was something new brimming in his chest. He grappled with the realization that you being dependent on him for a change was more fulfilling than his collective five years of overshadowed achievements.

You seemed him out; when you found him you needed him. Not that it couldn't be anyone else, you chose him. Well, he volunteered, but when you looked up at him with those eyes of yours he knew you had no qualms with it. He felt strong, he felt needed, and he felt like he wasn't the one hurting. 

{Y/N} {L/N} never needed anyone. You made that clear since first year, you were remarkably strange and friendly, you never filtered yourself out for anyone. You were you, that's all you needed to be. You didn't need to be witnessed to live.

But you wanted Remus to witness you.

He was learning that he loved to. To witness you. 

Yet here you were, none the wiser, while Remus realized how far he had fallen for his best friend. And in all honesty;

He wasn't scared.

~~~

Once dinner came around you were reminded just how out of the loop you were without your hearing. You were poking at your meal with your head down, pushing around a bit of your uneaten food. Today had been long, and every break mostly consisted of you trailing after your group and watching them laugh and indulge in each other's presence. 

You knew it wasn't the end of the world, tomorrow morning you would be cut free of your cast and eventually your hearing would come back.

It drove you mad not knowing when though. You knew it wouldn't stay forever, you were self assured in that fact, but knowing the possibility of it being weeks, months, Merlin, even a year? An entire year of not hearing your friends' voices. Dragging Remus down with you.

You didn't notice your friend's concerned look. Eventually, as you stared down at the fork in your hand, a note slid into your peripheral, it was Lily's handwriting, the only person you know to be able to flow her letters so perfectly.

‘Ready?’

You looked up to see people had started packing up. You nodded and began to stand, Remus slipping his hand behind your lower back making you jolt a bit. He flinched away and you immediately cursed, ‘come baaaccck.’

~~~~

Your thoughts followed you to the common room. Before you could escape your friends, go allow yourself to mope, everyone insisted on drinking and talking. 

You didn't want to. You really didn't. Remus was staying behind, however, and you know how much he hated when you'd leave him to be the only responsible drinker. Not that he had to worry too much, Mary always stayed sober to reel in Marlene.

You let yourself believe he just wanted to spend time with you. 

So here you were, sitting on the couch, leaning you back against the arm rest and staring at the group as they talked. Your legs were resting over Remus’s, his lithe fingers rubbing up and down your exposed knee to the bottom of your skirt. Now, this was something Remus would never do, but you didn't even have time to enjoy the satisfying moment of slight intimacy, still too in the dumps.

Your frown deepened as you watched people get up to dance around you. Lily had put a song on the record, you only knew it to be ‘Love Grow(where my Rosemary goes)’ by Edison Lighthouse, because of the album cover she brandished to James with a little wiggle of her eyebrows. One of your favorites. 

At this point, your arms were crossed in a pout as you watched everyone dance but you and Remus. You blinked away those thoughts and turned to Remus. 

“You can go dance, I won't be offended.” You muttered out with a pout. He turned to look at you from the dancing figures. He seemed to come to some conclusion, and tapped your calf. You moved your legs and went back to watching the group before his hand was in your face. You looked up at him confused to see him offering it to you. You carefully took his hand and he lifted you up, leading you on the dance floor. You were wobbly, but he nudged your hurt foot until you arched it up, he took on most of your weight and you leaned into his chest to balance.

He began to sway, you laughed, and he beamed at how happy you seemed. It was ridiculous, you both looked ridiculous, Sirius gave a wolf whistle you couldn't hear and he couldn't give less of a fuck. 

As you got more comfortable he pulled back and began to spin and slide with you. You were a giggling mess and he wrapped his arms around your waist and faced you away from him, making you tilt your head all the way back to see him. He could have died right there. 

As the song faded out, you guys stopped your completely tone deaf moves, and he looked back with a dazzling smile at Lily who put on another song. He was panting, he could see all his friends watching with what seemed to be far too interested looks.

When his eyes went back to you, you were still staring up at him with a bright rush of affection. Somehow, always, Remus knew just what to do. Just what to say. 

The song kicked up and Remus thinned his lips a bit.

‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ by Elvis Presley. 

He knew he shouldn't. He should fool himself with something so intimate. But you were looking back at him with so much excitement, so much love, who the hell was he to say no?

… Wise men say

Only fools rush in

He nodded to you and you spun to face him again, leg swaying a bit from where you kept it up. You moved to put some space between you, but instead, he wrapped one hand around your lower back and took your other hand. His movements were identical to Marlene with Mary and James with Lily, Sirius even managed to get a girl from one of the many onlookers to dance with him. His being much more professional.

But I can't help falling in love with you

You were confused at first, but you wouldn't say you hated it. It was intimate, as he pulled your chest to his and gave you his smile now. You pressed your tongue to your cheek and smirked at him. He gave you a playful wink as you rolled your eyes.

Shall I stay?

Would it be a sin

If I can't help falling in love with you?

He gave you a slow and careful swirl, and when you returned to him, he pulled your head to his chest and rested his chin to your head.

… Like a river flows

Surely to the sea

Darling, so it goes

Some things are meant to be

He gave you a playful dip and you finally laughed, relaxing fully into the oddly familiar feeling. He's held you before, but never so carefully. Like he could loser you at any point if one thumb was misplaced. 

… Take my hand

Take my whole life, too

He suddenly flattened out his hand against yours. You turned to look from where your face was peacefully nuzzled into his chest. You watched as he spread his fingers, and in turn, yours. Before he interlocked them. You bit your bottom lip and looked up at him. He was mouthing some of the lyrics, and you just managed to watch the last verse.

“For I can't help falling in love with you.”

Your eyes widened. Was he.. was he serious? His eyes were staring into yours like he was putting himself on the line with those words. You took a deep breath and held it, as he leaned down towards you as you both slowed to a stop. You stared at his lips, waiting so patiently for his next words.

“I love you, {Y/N}.” 

The words looked so natural on his lips. You didn't know what to say. You knew what he said. You didn't have a doubt in your mind about it. You suddenly moved in and kissed him, eyes closed before you pulled away. It was quick, it was a bit hard. His lips were chapped and his eyes were still on yours when you opened them. 

He looked stunned, and you couldn't hear the loud, “Finally!” From Sirius.

Nor could you hear Lily’s delighted gasp when he moved in and kissed you again. His hands left your side and hand, grabbing your cheeks. His fingers loosen when you meet him halfway, moving down to your neck and resting his thumbs on your cheeks.

You broke the kiss again, forgetting how to breathe. His lips followed yours before his eyes fluttered but stayed closed. You looked at him in pure shock. What do you do now? What do you say? Did it matter?

Suddenly his face scrunched up and you narrowed your eyes a bit.

“Ow ow ow ow..” Remus muttered and you flinched back when you read his lips. You had rested your casted foot against his toes. Wincing and apologizing like crazy, you moved too quickly and the weight shift caused you to fall back. He quickly caught you in a very deep dip. One hand around your neck and the other around your lower back. Your arms wrapped around his neck and everything was slow.

What a lovely cliche. 

It got even better, as he lifted you closer and kissed you again. His hand from your neck sliding down to help keep your casted leg bent to his hip. 

It was perfect.

~~~ Bonus Scene ~~~

You woke up to the sound of Marlene and Lily talking idly in your dorm room. A few days after the dancing and you and Remus had slipped from friends to more in such a simple and seamless mesh. 

A mesh of messy kisses and rushed ‘I love you’s in the hall. Late night rendezvous in the common room grossing out your friends with all the stolen kisses and messy cuddles where limbs weren't easily identifiable in the dark.

You smiled softly, unable to tame how your heart clenched and a goofy smile took your lips. Then it hit you. You could hear.

You shot your head up and began tos scramble for Remus’s jumper he left over last night. Marlene and Lily snapping over to look at you but not getting a word in before you were dashing out of the room in just your pajama pants and his sweater. 

You don't know how quickly you were running until you made it to his dorm. Your healed leg throbbing from lack of use but you couldn't care less. You slammed your way into the prefect dorms, Remus long since given you the password.

You ignored fussy prefects and walked right up to Remus’s dorm. You knocked in a rush, and the door opened to show James. You'd didn't even care to ask him why he wasn't in the Head Boy dorms, just shoving past him to hurry into the room. 

Sirius looked up from a lounge chair in the corner and smirked when he saw you, opening his mouth to make a smart remark before you interrupted him. 

“Remus?”

“Starlight?” Remus called out from the closet, stepping out in pajama pants as well, no short, and a towel in his messy hair. He couldn't help but smile at your rosey cheeked winded gasps, despite his confusion. “What are you-”

“Say it.” You demanded quickly and closed the gap between them. He looked at you confused before it suddenly hit him that you had responded and reacted to his words. You could hear him.

He let the towel fall from his hair to his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around your waist and brought you close. “Say what?”

“You love me.” You commanded with puffy flustered cheeks. Suddenly so much less confident now that you faced him. He laughed and moved his hands to your cheeks.

“You came running all the way here for that?”

“Remus, I've been waiting years.”

“I love you, {Y/N}.” He whispered and pulled you into a kiss. You smiled and gave a sigh of bliss into it. This time, you were able to hear Sirius wolf whistle behind you.

[thebibliosphere]

Anyway, @brynwrites also reblogged a very good point on a post which I cannot reblog because I assume OP blocked me, presumably because I am the person they're bitching about because, uh, yeah, I literally can't think of any other book other than mine that has that exact rep, lol.

Not to mention someone specifically calling me out in the notes (:

But I'm feeling petty, so I'm just going to post my response here anyway. Specifically in response to the person in the notes who said they have no idea what my book is about despite seeing it posted everywhere, which tells me one certain thing.

They are not clicking my links.

Like friends, I cannot tell you the lengths I go to so that people can make an informed decision about buying my book and still ask me basic questions which tell me THEY'RE NOT CLICKING THE LINKS.

I provide a synopsis, themes, content tags, heat ratings, reps-- I even explain WHY there are two editions of the book and also how Hunger Pangs came to be. I link them in all my promo posts so people can click them, read more, and decide if Phangs is for them.

The fact that people are complaining they have no idea what my book is about is on them. I cannot spoon-feed you every detail in brief promo posts that I'm trying to design to be as non-annoying as possible because, haha, fun glimpse into what my life looks like; when I DO reblog the longer posts with all that info, I get people telling me to KMS for posting walls of text onto their dash, or people just straight up telling me, "I'm not reading all of that" or "is it gay, though?"

So like, what the fuck am I supposed to do?

Anyway, read Danny's take. And also, click on the link authors provide. I promise you, they are there for a reason.

[diorsluv]

casual , part 1

“ my friends call me a loser ”

series m. list next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by edwards.73, markestapa, and 85,331 others

yourusername took a break from michigan but someone wouldn’t leave me alone 🙄

view all comments

edwards.73 aw c’mon you know you’d hate it if i left you alone

→ yourusername you can’t handle not talking to me for 15 minutes

→ edwards.73 NOT TRUE

→ yourusername i’ll pull up the receipts 🤨

username30 so prettyyyy

vivianliu more like you couldn’t stop complaining about being “so far away from him”

→ yourusername ummmm! i don’t remember that actually 😁😁

→ edwards.73 oh???

→ _quinnhughes my god you two are disgusting

→ yourusername don’t be a hater quinny ☹️

rutgermcgroarty 🤮

→ yourusername 🖕

→ rutgermcgroarty meanie

→ yourusername rut i will shove a ruler down your throat

→ rutgermcgroarty kinky 😈😈

→ yourusername OH MY GOD RUTGER

username24 THE VIEW??

username19 her n ethan have been flirting for MONTHS i just wanna know what’s goin on 😞

jackhughes lucky 😒

→ yourusername WHY R U MAD AT ME 😒

→ jackhughes UR IN ITALY RN AND IM NOT

→ yourusername then maybe u shouldve considered ur career choices???

→ jackhughes AT LEAST I GET MONEY

markestapa are you single asking for a friend

→ yourusername yeah i am 🤭🤭

→ markestapa wrong answer 🤬

→ yourusername oh! i didn’t realize i was getting INTERROGATED

→ markestapa yeah you better go apologize to your man rn

→ yourusername what man?? 😥

luca.fantilli yeah n i’m real fucking glad you’re not in michigan so i can finally get some peace and quiet 🙄

→ yourusername WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

→ luca.fantilli YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS

→ yourusername NO???

→ luca.fantilli maybe bc it sounds like a FUCKING BURGLAR is in the other room all the time

→ dylanduke25 😨

→ yourusername 🤐

→ markestapa fr she’s acting like we don’t know she’s always sneaking out in the morning 🙄

→ yourusername GUYS STOP MY BROTHERS CAN READ THIS SHIT

→ jackhughes i really wish i couldn’t read ts

→ lhughes_06 wtf happened when i left michigan??

→ rutgermcgroarty you don’t wanna know lhughes_06

username2 luca’s comment thread 😭😭

→ username56 LMAOO

adamfantilli my country??? 🇮🇹

→ yourusername ur country ‼️

→ luca.fantilli ITALIA 🫡

username43 best hughes sibling confirmed

username20 the guys have no remorse for ethan’s love life 😭

→ username4 wait how do we know they’re talking about ethan

→ username91 i mean it’s pretty obvious when u look at it

mackie.samo as a representative of the gc i can confirm you did not leave him alone

→ markestapa BRO what happens in the gc stays in the gc

→ dylanduke25 no no right we did appoint him as a representative

→ yourusername 😥😥

→ vivianliu clearly i’m not the only one getting screenshots of the convos..

→ edwards.73 who the hell said u were the rep of the gc

→ lhughes_06 WHAT GC???

username68 please just give me one chance, i PROMISE i can do better than ethan

_alexturcotte the view 👌

→ yourusername the view 😮‍💨

username32 drop a closet haul pleaseee

yourusername

liked by lhughes_06, _quinnhughes, and 109,816 others

yourusername i was going back through the old albums and.. 😟

tagged: jackhughes, _quinnhughes, lhughes_06

view all comments

trevorzegras the nicest they’ve ever been to you

→ yourusername THIS ‼️‼️

→ lhughes_06 NO WE’RE NICE

→ yourusername name one time you’ve been nice to me in the past five years

→ lhughes_06 i let you move into the apartment when you got into college

→ yourusername BECAUSE MOM AND DAD FORCED YOU TO

lhughes_06 you were an accident

→ yourusername you’re lying out of your ass rn

→ lhughes_06 THINK ABOUT IT, all of us were born 2 years apart but you were only born a year after me

→ jackhughes you had to share a room with lukey because they had only planned for 3 kids

→ _quinnhughes you had to wear boy clothes for the first year of your life because they didn’t wanna buy clothes for you if you were gonna grow out of it in a month

→ jackhughes and mom and dad DID say you were an accident

→ yourusername …

username34 CUTEEEE

username20 HITTING US WITH THE GOOD CONTENT

rutgermcgroarty you were so cute as a kid

→ yourusername i know i was 🥰🥰

→ rutgermcgroarty so what happened 💀

→ markestapa that’s a knee slapper right there

→ yourusername were you two dropped on your heads as babies

→ rutgermcgroarty no but it seems like you were

edwards.73 we would’ve dated in pre-school

→ yourusername no i was wayyy cuter than you were

→ edwards.73 you’re not wrong

→ luca.fantilli barf

→ mackie.samo god ethan you’re like a lovesick puppy

→ dylanduke25 i want to bleach my eyes you guys are gross

→ adamfantilli STOP. PUBLICLY. FLIRTING.

→ lhughes_06 ew ew EWWWW please don’t tell me you’re hitting on my BABY sister

→ markestapa you have no idea 💀 lhughes_06

→ lhughes_06 wait what.

username58 AHHH BABY HUGHES

colecaufield so when did the siblingly love turn violent

→ yourusername when jack bit me on the arm

→ lhughes_06 when she karate kicked my head

→ jackhughes when she broke my new stick

→ _quinnhughes when she started spitting food in my face

→ yourusername I DID NONE OF THAT

username76 luke’s so damn clueless 😭

liked by yourusername

dylanduke25 you look absolutely traumatized in that fifth pic…

→ yourusername the log ride was scary 😞

_alexturcotte i see a common theme of jack being the most affectionate

→ yourusername he still is 🫢

→ _alexturcotte we can see that

→ jackhughes i feel like we’re all equally affectionate

→ yourusername well now you’re just fibbing to fib 🙄

→ trevorzegras we all know quinn hates her the most

→ _quinnhughes WOAH WOAH WOAH since when did we decide i ever hated my baby sis???

→ colecaufield it’s not like you hate her you’re just incapable of showing her any form of affection

→ jackhughes why are we getting family therapy rn

username22 BABY PHOTOS

markestapa how cute (i know luke hated you)

→ yourusername HE DID HATE ME

→ lhughes_06 I NEVER HATED YOU????

→ markestapa there’s barely any photos of you and her together as kids 💀💀

elblue6 your cheeks were always so rosy!

→ yourusername mom 😭

→ elblue6 what? it’s where you got your nickname!

→ lhughes_06 yeah ROSIE thats how u got ur nickname 🥰

→ yourusername shut up moosey 😒

→ luca.fantilli ROSIE???

→ yourusername THE OTHERS WERENT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT AND NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID lhughes_06

→ rutgermcgroarty we’re calling you rosie from now on

→ yourusername please god no i’ll do anything

mackie.samo ROSIE.

→ yourusername matthew. 😑

→ mackie.samo would you be willing to mingle with one of my friends

→ yourusername i meannnn which friend 🫢

→ mackie.samo WRONG. FUCKING. ANSWER.

→ yourusername OH MY GOD

username35 jack was obviously the best big brother

username17 luke doesn’t have any pics alone with you what happened 😭😭

username76 jack was definitely forced to be in half of those photos

vivianliu awww remember when we first met and i had a crush on quinn

→ yourusername yeah and i never understood why 🙄🙄

→ _quinnhughes wait you had a crush on me??

→ vivianliu yes we established this a long time ago huggy bear pay attention

→ yourusername and then you liked jack 🤮

→ jackhughes okay we DEFINITELY did not establish that one

→ vivianliu yes we did you just weren’t there

→ yourusername AND THEN YOU LIKED LUKE IN COLLEGE

→ lhughes_06 WHATTT 😨

→ vivianliu luke i literally confessed to you when i was drunk stop acting clueless

→ lhughes_06 WHEN??????

→ yourusername long story short you liked all my brothers but you’re out of their league sooo

→ jackhughes woah woah woah idk abt that one

→ vivianliu 🖕 jackhughes

next chapter notes ) sooo i changed the format up a bit but here’s the first chapter 😈 not sure how i’m gonna want this to end if i’m actually gonna base it off of the song… BUT IF IT DOESN’T END HAPPILY DON’T BLAME ME and ofc just comment, dm, or ask if you wanna be tagged!

[anystalker707]

training (trying)

Pairing: Sam Monroe x [gender-neutral] Reader Summary: you finally convinced your boyfriend to go to the gym with you. Tags: gym rat reader / drabble / whiny sam (as usual)

based on an interaction between @bimbo-baggins2-0 and @speaknow-sw

MASTER LIST

          “Got it?” You asked, letting the barbell down, and you really wanted to believe that Sam had been paying attention to your explanation, but the look on his face didn’t convince you.

Sam finally huffed and nodded. Your muscles looked terribly good when flexed, and it was easy to allow himself to imagine one of his band shirts tightly spread over your muscles. “Okay,” he said. “What’s this called ag—” He cut himself off with a groan when he grabbed the barbell from your hands—or at least tried to, since it fell to the ground with a muffled thud at the same moment. Silence stretched for a few seconds before he scrunched his face, a string of curses leaving his lips.

You nodded faintly and moved to change the plates for lighter ones. They were tiny compared to the ones you used, and Sam didn’t know which was a greater humiliation—the big difference between the weights you two lifted or how it seemed pathetic to have two little, thin plates on the bar like that. “Biceps curls. Just curls.”

The gym wasn’t all that crowded at that time of the day, aside from some people occupying a couple of equipment and the instructors wandering around. Taking Sam to the gym was an effort already, so you didn’t want to hear any more whining, in case there were too many people, though he still found something else to complain about. Well, the bad music choice wasn’t your fault, and he did have to eat proper food because Monster isn’t a meal, and you can’t grow bigger without eating. He didn’t have gym clothes, but he put on some shorts and a black t-shirt that contrasted highly with his pale skin, showing some of his sides because of the low cut, and it worked.

“All good,” you said, pushing the heavier plate away with your foot.

Sam continued staring at the barbell with his arms crossed over his chest, cheeks tinted red because of the embarrassment and the rush. How was he supposed to remember so many details and exercises? Eventually, he nodded. He positioned his feet with the same hesitance his hands carried when dancing across the barbell to find a proper grip on the rough metal. He finally stood up properly and took a deep breath to start the reps.

“Twelve.” Your eyes ran over his form to analyze the performance. Sam wasn’t the best, with those thin arms struggling to lift the weights that barely reached half of what you could lift, trembling with each movement. It shouldn’t be so adorable. You took a step behind him, touching his elbows lightly. “Hold still and align to your torso.”

His bottom lip was caught tightly between his teeth when Sam looked at you through the mirror, breath hitching as he kept doing the reps the best he could. They reached lower each time, barely going halfway up. You’d have to spend longer at the gym now—an hour babysitting him, an hour training.

“Up to your chest, baby boy! I know you can do it.” A chuckle would’ve escaped your lips if there weren’t the risk of accidentally discouraging him. “C’mon, almost there. Three… Two… One…”

Sam exhaled heavily as he let the barbell fall to the ground, hissing as he stretched his arms.

“If you keep letting it fall that harshly, the owner’s gonna kick your ass,” you warned. He glared, but it didn’t last long—his attention averted to the tingling sensation in his muscles. Sam mumbled something under his breath, about to walk off when you placed a hand on his shoulder to pull him back, pinching the back of his neck lightly. “Two more series. I know you can do it.”

Sam wouldn’t dare complain too much and get on your nerves again, not when you could manhandle him so easily. He was lost in thought as the memory of you carrying him around, lifting him off the couch so that you could sit down with him on your lap. How he would wrap his arms around your neck, legs around your waist, and your hands held his thighs firmly. So hot. He enjoyed it a little too much. Fuck, you could never find it out. Just when you were about to say something, he quickly grabbed the bar from the ground again, starting the reps, feeling a mix of pain and numbness in his biceps.

“Arch your back like you do it for me, baby.” Your breath was hot in his ear, sudden—Sam’s eyes widened, and his arms wavered. “Come on, Sam! Twelve more! The first one didn’t count!”

⋆°｡⋆🎧🎸★ 𝖇𝖆𝖉 𝖗𝖊𝖕𝖚𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎���𝖓 ★🎸🎧⋆｡ °⋆

[tex-now]

Hey is it just me or do certain fans complain about how much they hate the other groups instead of loving theirs.

I don't think calling out the misogyny in this fandom is wrong, not in the slightest (my most popular post is calling out the way people treat ena versus akito because of their gender), but most of the time these call out posts just result in more negativity and arguments rather than any like. Productive discussion.

I don't wanna hear about how minoharu and anhane are more canon than ruikasa and akitoya and are Therefore More Valid And Liking Ruikasa More Is Wrong And Bad (exaggerated but most of the time people do insult a ship in order to promote their own) (also sometimes implies that rarepairs are less valid which is a dick move). I wanna hear about the interesting (and I mean very interesting) relationship that an has with kohane, her feelings of inadequacy and slight envy, I wanna hear about how minori (and the rest of mmj) inspired haruka to get back on the stage, and how minori finally got to "repay" haruka in a way.

I didn't start liking ichika because of people endlessly complaining about how underutilized she is and how You Guys Just Don't Get Her, Read The Stories And you'll Discover That She's Actually Perfect Actually (this one isn't an exaggeration but it was on YouTube not Tumblr so in it goes), I started liking her because I learned about her character, her sheer determination and love for her friends, and her want to resonate with people's hearts from people who really like her.

I'm not gonna pretend the Ruikasa fandom and akitoya fandom can't be annoying, a lot of them are toxic and have a habit of making everything about Ruikasa/akitoya while reducing their relationships with other characters to push their shipping narrative. It pisses me off. A lot. I could write (and probably will write) an entire essay on how entitled and bitchy Ruikasa/akitoya fans can be, and I definitely understand how it can build up resentment towards a ship, and how their mass popularity is most definitely attributed to the fact that they are men (which results in an extreme lack of understanding of their actual characters and overall dynamic, reducing them to "top tall sexy one" and "bottom cute feminine one" which upsets me to hell and back). And calling this out is not wrong in the slightest.

but needlessly attacking a ship that someone likes is not a call out. calling Ruikasa and akitoya "a stupid ship" is not a call out. Actively insulting people for liking it is not a call out. Adding Ruikasa and akitoya tags to your post bashing them is not a callout. It's being a dick. You are not doing anything productive by calling Ruikasa and akitoya shippers idiots or stupid or insulting their taste you are only going to piss people off and you know that you are going to piss people off.

Acknowledge but do not attack. Be civil. And if you cant be civil then save everyone some time and keep it private.

Oh yeah. And be annoying about your blorbos. Make KING kanamafu art. Put shizuairi in Fragile. Talk about how much you love your girl ships and your girl characters and don't event mention the guys, make fanfiction and fanart of the girls, I really really want you to, genuinely, because they do get less rep in the fandom than their male counterparts, so more content of the girls is always great. It feels a lot better than complaining about a ship you don't even like, I promise

(Btw I mention this in the tags but if anyone wants to add input or correct me on something you totally can. My words aren't law and this post is just me stating my thoughts, and I invite you to share yours if you want.)

[skreebs]

Thinking about the ableism toward Jouno in the BSD fandom and it genuinely pisses me off so badly I want to hit people. I’ll be perusing the tag and looking at stuff and then I’ll see some random pop ups for AO3 and get shit like this

Now I don’t 100% know the context of this screenshot, for all I know this fic could be about him before he lost his sight, but either way it got me thinking and thinking got me angry and being angry means i need to complain. Jouno is already pretty shit blind rep, I’ll be honest. He’s the basic stereotype of “blind character has super senses because they’re blind” but can we give blind people literally ANYTHING else??? jesus christ. I’m pissed how BSD writes his blindness so as per usual I had to attempt to fix all of that myself, but attempting to fix it and removing it entirely are NOT the same and one is VERY MUCH SO WORSE. Again, not talking about this fic specifically but other ones I’ve seen that do this, or those “Jouno if he could see” edits. Spoiler alert, blind people can open their eyes.

I dont know why BSD and every other piece of media is so adamant on not giving visually impaired and blind characters white canes and just giving them "super senses" to get around it. It’s incredibly stupid and abelist to portray stuff like this. Disabilities are not super powers and thank GOD they didnt make that his ability but they still gave him that aspect and I guess it can be excused with SOME lore stuff like maybe he got really good senses from his surgeries but it just sucks that it happened that way at all? And then they don't even touch on how horrible having incredibly hightened senses to the point you can HEAR blood would be?? can you imagine hearing everyone internal organs around you 24/7 EVERYDAY? No one talks about that at all. That would be so fucking overwhelming its genuinely insane. Jouno is such a dear character to me, but genuinely when I remember him in canon without any of my headcanon explinations it’s just really sad that all I can say about him as representation is "well.. it could be worse".

I know there’s going to be at least one person saying “theres good blind rep in other shows though!!” Yes! I know! I’m super glad about that! But ignoring the bad ones doesn’t help much. You need to point out the issues to get good results. Recently, and by recently I mean about 17 hours ago, I watched/listened to the first episode of Daredevil, once with audio descriptions, and then after I watched without AD and had captions. I’m super glad that things are more commonly getting AD—it’d be a bit pathetic if the show with a blind main character was not accessible to blind people—but even with Daredevil, Matt still falls a bit into this stereotype.

Don’t get me wrong, seeing a character with a white cane has me absolutely elated, but from the single episode I’ve seen and what I’ve heard, he apparently also has some sort of super senses, and I know in the first episode he can hear heartbeats. I think super senses as a power is fine, but it’s just the fact they always give it to the blind characters. I, myself, am not blind, nor am I really visually impaired, I just wear glasses. However, as someone with a special interest in disabilities and also as someone that is disabled in other ways, seeing disabled rep fall into stereotypes over and over just really bums me out sometimes.

I think Daredevil is great so far from this one episode, I’ll probably be looking at more of it, but that is definitely just one gripe I have with it. I think Charlie Cox putting a bunch of effort into the role with the method acting and talking to people in the blind community and just all of that is amazing, I love to see that in anything, it’s just urrghh that it’s so hard to find a blind character that doesn’t have some kind of insane superpower senses with things. It reminds me of when characters with autism are so frequently portrayed as geniuses or their autism is only acceptable if it helps the neurotypical cast with “gadgets” or something. I dunno. Hard to explain, it’s 11 at night and I’m tired. Just don’t be ableist in any fandom or in real life. I shouldn’t have to even point out why this shit is disgraceful.

[lokiinmediasideblog]

I Intentionally Start Shit in the Loki Tag

If you complain about Sylvie being "harmful queer rep" BUT want "Lady Loki" in the MCU, which was Loki possessing Sif's body just to torment Sif, I need you to sit down and shut up. a. Genderfluid people don't go by "Lady " when they're femme or women. b. If you don't see the transphobic dogwhistles in the comics possession subplot, I don't know what to tell you... But let's say that hag that wrote those crappy books would love it. c. If you weren't aware about this, maybe you should read the wiki at least before giving uninformed opinions.

I definitely agree that they should not have led people on with the promise of genderfluid rep during the promotion of the series. But get mad at Disney/Marvel for that. Not at the writers or Sophia Di Martino that had to cave in to Feige's demands. That's literally what they have to do.

I really don't give a damn about the "autogynephilia" allegations, which again, is ALSO PRESENT IN CIS WOMEN. Like why the fuck should I care about someone finding themselves hot? There's fascists out there. AGP even if it was a trans-specific thing harms no one. The only harm said to come from it is DUE TO FASCISM because it plays into RESPECTABILITY POLITICS.

If you use AI to create a "proper" Lady Loki or love interest for Loki, you can't complain about the blatant product placement in S2. I am not a fan of product placement either and won't defend it, but those are the rules. Show some integrity. And before you ask, I have not given a cent to Disney since they pissed me off with attempts to trademark Dia de los Muertos for Coco.

If you complain about how being a "Loki" is not a role (unlike Spiderman) and how it should have been all 100% Tom Hiddleston, you don't get to call it selfcest as a gotcha, because you're already differentiating between the variants with different DNA. Like do y'all hate selfcest or not? Make up your mind. The series treats a Loki as an archetype of sorts, so it can be a role. Also, having the same name does not make you related because we don't know what Sylvie's parents are? And we don't even know if Sylvie is also a Jotun, a prop claims she isn't.

If you say you want Sylvie dead but claim to not be misogynistic, because you'd love if a specific love interest from the comics or mythology replaced her, STFU. You only like those because you can project whatever the fuck you want onto them.

If you claim Sylvie is a misogynistic depiction of women but salivate over characters written by cishet white men in the 1960s-1980s that made wanting to fuck Thor or being in a monogamous marriage with Loki their entire personality (there's so MANY OF THESE), STFU. Do you hear yourself? And no, it's not misogynistic of me, a woman, to criticize offensive depictions of women by cishet white men. They're not real.

Our MCU!Loki is not the young adult Ikol reincarnation currently. Of course 20-something Verity is not going to be there! The Loki show should be praise for having multiple female cast members around the same age as the protagonist and pragmatic clothing choices that allowed SdM to nurse her baby.

Selfcest isn't real and I cry tears of boredom whenever someone clutches their pearls over it.

The comics aren't perfect. As much as I loved the recent Dan Watters run (and German Peralta's art), the comics art has some very questionable tendencies, especially regarding Loki's nose when she's femme. It's associated with how some kinds of facial features are considered masculine or feminine (and racialized). Noses have no gender, ffs! Women with nose bumps exist! For some reason Loki always has a tiny button nose when she's a woman or femme. There's also the BLATANT physiognomy that has ALWAYS PLAGUED Thor comics since their inception, and Loki's facial features as they've become more "grey" and less evil is an interesting study. Peralta's far from being the only artist with this problem, and is far from being the most problematic. For comparison from Loki (2023) run:

Loki from ye olden days:

[gamerbot-22]

Update about the professor who graded my final with AI:

After a game of telephone tag trying to find the person to talk to, I spoke with the Dean of Faculty at my school who was genuinely lovely.

We had a very productive conversation over the course of half an hour, and the TL;DR is that they’ve had issues with this exact professor about this before, but because the state doesn’t have faculty standards regarding AI use, they can’t discipline her unless it causes a problem like it did with me.

In the end I sent over my final, my grade summation, and the actual assignment checklist we got from the professor so the Dean of Faculty and the Head Dean can go over it together after the Holiday season. She assured me that she was going to do everything she could to get this resolved because I was not the first to call and complain about this professor, but unfortunately it had a high likelihood of becoming an internal case, which means I’m probably not going to get much/any updates as this continues. TBH though I’m just glad I got to talk to someone about it in an official context.

Here are some highlights from the call, because the Dean was genuinely a wonderful lady:

Dean: So I got your message, and I’m sorry I couldn’t get back to you yesterday. I have a feeling I know which professor this is, but can you give me their name just to be certain?

Me: Yeah, it was a Business Communications class run by [Professor name?]

Dean: [sighs] Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Me: You know the best part about this is that my final was about how GenAI is not at all as cool as people think it is, especially in its current form

Dean: [fucking. Hysterical laughter] The irony! Oh my god!

Me: You know, when you called I was sitting down, but now I’m pacing in my room— [normal behavior for me]

Dean: Oh, dear! It’s alright, sit back down and have a tea, I’ll do my best to take care of this!

Dean: Yeah, and incidents like this reflect poorly on the college, too, which already isn’t great considering the rep Community Colleges already get.

Me: No kidding! And I’ve had great professors at this college, like [English Professor—]

Dean: Oh I LOVE [English Professor,] she’s BRILLIANT.

[shadyruinskryptonite]

Titan Bending Chapter 13

Warning: Violence consistent with cannon, NSFW so MDNI, language, major character death (both consistent with canon of both AOT and ATLA as well as diverging from canon), so much trauma literally everyone is so traumatized, very much slow burn, a little enemies to lovers, SO MUCH ANGST, hurt/comfort, hurt and delayed comfort, AFAB reader

Chapter Warnings: Underage drinking - it’s the night before the mission to retake Wall Maria so hey, maybe the drinking age in AOT is 15 but still, don’t drink kids. Drunk fight, talking about death and loss, with that comes a bit of angst

A/N: This is not my favorite chapter because I feel like it has to cover a lot of ground in a very short time (and still ended up being 4600 words) BUT it had to be done to set up to retake Wall Maria in the next two chapters!

WC: 4603

Previous Chapter, Next Chapter

Masterlist

Tags: @mochminnie @sseleniaa @naruwitch

As the sun finally dips below the horizon, I make my way out to the training field. Only, I’m surprised by what I find.

“What are all of you doing here?” I say to the entire cast of characters from my squad.

There’s a long pause before Sasha speaks up, “Well, I don’t know about everyone else but I feel like I learned more about hand-to-hand with you today than I have since I joined the Survey Corps. Eren isn’t the only one that could stand to improve.”

I grin at her and throw my arm around her shoulders. “Well, I’m happy to help anyone that wants it. I will be focusing on Eren though if that’s alright with everyone. He raises a great point that this style of combat is what his titan does the most versus everyone else.” 

I’m met with enthusiastic nods before Jean interrupts. “I just wanted to see you beat the shit out of Eren.” Everyone laughs, incuding myself.

“Alright, enough standing around. If we’re going to train like this, y’all are going to do it my way. We’re going to start with about an hour of weight training.”

Everyone groans and Eren whines, “What does that have to do with fighting? Lifting as a person won’t help my titan form!”

“I said we’re doing it my way. Lifting right now might not make your titan stronger but it will make you tired, and if you can fight tired you’ll be even better well-rested. And don’t worry, it’s not like I’m just gonna stand here and bark orders at you. I’m going to be training right alongside you.”

I’m met with another chorus of sighs and grunts but no one outwardly complains. I shift to grab weights for myself and realize they’re all staring at me. It stops me in my tracks.

“What are you guys waiting for?”

Armin is the one that responds and says, “Well…what do you want us to do?”

I might not be a soldier but they definitely still are.

“Oh…I honestly don’t care what you do. I don’t care how heavy your weights are or if you even use weights. Just so long as it’s a full body workout and you’re giving it 100% for the next hour.”

For a few moments it’s clear that they don’t know what to do with themselves, so I decide to let them figure it out on their own and get to my own workout. Taking the heaviest dumbbell, I put it between my shins and cross my ankles before jumping up on the pull-up bar. 

Underhand pull-ups, overhand pull-ups, and muscle ups. I get into my zone and pump out all of my reps and sets. By the time I finish up with that portion of my workout, I can see everyone watching me but working diligently with the exception of Levi watching from the edge of the field.

Good, as long as everyone is working Levi can watch all he wants.

I don’t acknowledge Levi or anyone else for that matter as I go for a quick water break. Returning to the bar, I do some hanging crunches with the dumbbell still between my legs.

The next hour passes quickly and uneventfully. With everyone sufficiently tired, I call the kids close and begin my instruction. I engage in a fight with Eren, breaking it down like I had earlier in the day before I turn everyone loose on each other. After another hour of this, I call it quits for the evening.

Mikasa approaches after I dismiss everyone but before they’ve gotten far. “Hey y/n, why did you want to do this after the sun went down?”

I smile at her as I wipe my brow. “There’s a few reasons. The practical ones are that this is when I could guarantee Eren would be free from both normal responsibilities and experiments. It works well because it means the rest of you are free, too, if you want to keep training like this. It’s also much more comfortable after the sun goes down. The selfish reason is that this is what I do normally anyway.”

“What do you mean?” Connie chimes in.

“I always workout once everyone else has gone to sleep. Gives me some free time and space. Plus,” I grin, “I’m stronger when the moon is out.” They nod in quiet contemplation before everyone leaves the field.

Once everyone else was gone, I address Levi for the first time since my lesson started but I still don’t look at him. “So, you thought you could learn a thing or two?” I ask playfully.

I hear a “tch” from where he’s standing and chuckle to myself.

“Just making sure nothing goes wrong,” is all he responds.

Despite Hange’s earlier pep-talk, I can’t help but let what he says get to me. It wipes the playfulness off of my face immediately. With more venom than I originally intended I respond, “Oh, right, I forgot that I can’t be trusted.”

He raises his eyebrow at me nonchalantly which screws me through the roof. Dumbly he says, “huh?”

I roll my eyes at him before biting back, “Remember, ‘we certainly don’t understand you and your bending fully.’ Gotta have the Scout’s attack dog keep an eye on me in case I suddenly decide to go against everything I’ve done and fought for since being here.”

I can see the confusion splattered across his face but I don’t care. I finish gathering my things and as I walk past him I don’t spare him another glance as I spit, “See you at tomorrow’s meeting.”

After breezing past him, I notice that he just stands there dumbfounded for a moment.

Good. Maybe he’s thinking about how much of an asshole he is.

I continue to stew as I shower the day away.

Every time we start to make progress and I begin to think that maybe we’re finally friends he goes off and does something else douchey. Why am I letting this little shit get to me like this? He literally doesn’t even matter.

By the time the water cooled off so had I. Throwing two quick braids in my hair and wrapping myself in my towel, I make my way back to my room to hopefully get a couple hours of sleep. Only that wouldn’t be happening right away.

Standing outside my door was Levi, and just the sight of him was enough to aggravate me again.

“What?” I say tiredly, although any of my previous anger had evaporated in the shower.

When he responds, all of the nonchalance is gone and his voice is surprisingly vulnerable. “Why do you think I don’t trust you?”

I stand there for a moment blinking at him, drops of water still running down my legs. Once I gather my thoughts I respond with a question of my own instead of an answer, “Why would I think that you do trust me?”

I watch his mouth open and close a few times, and it’s hard to not laugh at him not knowing how to respond. My previous anger and frustration was pretty much gone at this point, but I did want to drive home my point.

“I mean, think about it Levi. You’ve never done anything to even imply that I’m trustworthy. And I get it, that’s a high barrier especially given the circumstance that I started working with y’all. I don’t expect you to fully trust me, I just think it’s also fair to say that I’ve done enough to prove myself as someone that’s objectively not an enemy.” I shrug my shoulders and put my hand on my doorknob to enter my room, but he stops me.

When I turn to look at him, Levi quietly says, “I trust you.”

I scoff without any malice, and brush him off while sarcastically saying, “Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, Levi.” With that I close my door, happy that he at least tried to make it right. 

---

The next morning, just after breakfast, was a big meeting with Queen Historia that even I was invited to. This meeting wasn’t limited to the Scouts though, but rather was extended to all heads of the military branches. It was in this meeting that she unveiled her plan to expand an orphanage that she had recently started and requested support in gathering children in need of help.

That’s when she turns to me and says, “Y/n, I was hoping you’d be able to provide any medical support necessary to the kids. There’s probably going to be a significant number of kids that have some minor injuries, and I know that’s your specialty.”

I grin at her. “This feels like exactly the kind of reason I agreed to help in the first place.” She smiles back for the first time since the meeting started.

It’s really amazing to see how much she’s come into her own in such a short amount of time.

She turns to Levi and asks, “What do the clean water resources look like in the Underground? Obviously for drinking because we can bring supplies when we go down on our mission but also for y/n’s healing.” 

Before he can answer, I cautiously chime in, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but, uh, what is the Underground?”

Erwin, Hange, Levi, and Historia all chuckle but the other military leaders seem a bit dumbfounded at my lack of knowledge. Hange quickly explains that it was originally intended as a colony underneath the capital, but it has since become a place riddled with crime and poverty. I nod quickly and thank her so that we can get back on with the meeting.

Again, Levi is cut off before he can start but this time it’s by someone I haven’t met before. “I’m sorry, but how do you not know what the Underground is?”

Levi and Historia start talking quietly amongst themselves, clearly tired of being interrupted, and my mind reels to try to come up with an excuse. Luckily, Erwin beats me to it and speaks up. He addresses this other man as Nile, saying, “Y/n is an asset we found on the 57th Scouting Expedition. We’ve kept her mostly a secret based on the response to Eren, but she’s from outside of the walls and has a unique set of skills.” My eyes go wide and my head snaps to Erwin.

I didn’t know I was no longer a secret but I guess…this is as good of a time as any?

This description brings forth murmurs from everyone that didn’t previously know about me. Nile slaps his hands on the table and all but yells, “Keeping these secrets is why no one trusts the Scouts god damnit! I demand that the MPs have an opportunity to interrogate her and if she really is an asset we will have her as one of our soldiers! You already have Eren, we deserve this!”

Before better sense can kick in, I say the first thing that comes to mind, “I’d rather be lobotomized with a rusty spoon than work with the MPs.” This shuts up the entire room, giving me an opportunity to continue. “I’ve seen the aftermath of your ‘interrogations,’ and I’d really like to see you try to do that to me. Also, there are a lot of fallacies in your previous statement so how about I knock them out in order. First of all, you said you’ll have me as one of your soldiers. I’m not a soldier. I made it abundantly clear that I would be willing to help with the cause in whatever capacity I could provide, but one of my only conditions to working with the Scouts was that under no uncertain terms would I ever be considered a soldier. Second of all, while yes the Scouts have Eren by you saying it like that it implies that I’m also a titan shifter, which I am not. I’m what’s called a water bender.” To add dramatic effect, I bend the water out of everyone’s glasses, swirling it above our heads and then raining it down in spikes, stopping inches shy of Nile’s face. I unfreeze the ice, soaking him as I finish my little display. “Now, last I checked, this was a meeting to discuss the execution of Queen Historia’s orphanage, not whether or not I should be a prisoner, a soldier, or which branch I should belong to. Can we please continue with the scheduled discussion?”

Turning to smile at Historia, it’s clear that she’s holding back laughter.

At least she’s doing a better job than Hange. Hang seems like she’s about to pop an aneurism if she tries any harder to not laugh. At least Erwin is mostly composed. Wait…is…is LEVI holding back a smile?

The discussion of positions, planning, and logistics continues for another couple of hours. As we adjourn, Historia comes over to give me a hug.

“I’m so proud of you Hisu. You’re doing such a good job as a leader. Sorry about my little outburst.”

She giggles her little golden laugh. “Are you kidding? I hate these meetings, that was some much needed comedic relief.” 

Hange finally allows herself to cackle without inhibition, and Erwin even joins in with a chuckle of his own. He finally says, “I don’t think we’ll be able to invite you to too many more meetings.”

I exaggeratedly clasp my chest and throw my head back in mock distress. My actions are juxtaposed with my extremely flat and sarcastic tone when I say, “Oh no! Meetings are so fun! Whatever shall I do?” This pulls another round of laughter out of my friends.

My friends. I really have grown to be friends with these guys.

We head to lunch together and the rest of the day is pretty standard. In fact, the next series of days are pretty standard. Hange really seemed to double down on Eren’s hardening experiments, and after a couple of days, it made sense as to why.

She gathered everyone on top of the wall, even down to the youngest recruit to show us what she deemed “The Executioner from Hell.” It certainly looked like it was straight out of hell, and when a giant log crashed down on a titan’s nape, it seemed that the name was all-around apt. 

As her demonstration progressed, I see Levi and Eren kneeling down out of the corner of my eye. When I give them my full attention I realize Eren is bleeding and rush over to see if there’s anything I can do, despite not being able to heal a titan shifter.

Levi then surprises me by scolding Hange for pushing Eren too far.

Maybe I should give up on trying to figure this man out.

We all head back inside and it seems like everyone but my kids are buzzing with excitement at Hange’s invention.

God they’ve been around Levi for far too long, they’re starting to act like him.

Just as I was about to try to cheer them up, they get into a bit of a disagreement with an admittedly insufferable little red-headed kid. I realized then that I don’t really know the names of anyone outside of my squad and I make a mental note to try to change that.

After they send this kid away with his proverbial tail between his legs, I admonish them. “Hey, they’re just excited that this is a step forward. The reason everyone fights is so that others can reap the benefits, there’s no point in trying to tear ‘em down when they’re just enjoying what you’ve given them.”

This makes them all stop to think before we shift to Eren’s sour mood. As we continue to eat, he realized that the person from his father’s memories that he recognizes is the person that trained them all as recruits, so that sets in motion a little field trip.

This time, I mount my horse with no hesitation and receive a big smile and thumbs up from Jean and Sasha. 

Upon arriving, I realize I recognize “Commandant Shadis” as one of the men that was in the meeting with Historia. He’s really a grizzly looking man.

I think I’ve had nightmares that look something like him.

As I chuckle at my own joke, Shadis asks a seemingly very nervous Sasha to sit down, to which she almost trembles as she responds. I realize that I think he looks so scary that if I were presented with a lineup of scouts, not knowing anyone, I’d think he was probably who was deemed Humanity’s Strongest.

When Hange directly asks him why he thinks we’re there in what sounds to me to be an accusational tone, he dodges the question and instead stares directly at Eren, telling him he looks just like his mother.

What a weird fuckin thing to say at that moment.

It would only get weirder from there, as Shadis launched into his story about how he found Eren’s dad, Grisha, outside of the walls. It seemed to me like his entire story was merely something he needed to get off his chest, and I suppose he did admit that it wouldn’t have anything to help humanity. But still, despite all this I can’t help but be struck by how similar Grisha’s story sounds to my own and how we were found.

Wow, I wouldn’t expect him to get into such a pity party. I guess he’s proof that looks are deceiving.

I tune out the rest of his tirade about not being special in favor of my own thoughts. I’m only pulled back to reality by Hange absolutely tearing this man a new asshole. To the point that Levi even told her to lay off.

That’s rich.

But it made sense. For whatever reason, this man just decided to lay his soul bear and now Hange is kicking him while he’s down. 

I’ll have to talk to her about this later, there’s gotta be more to why she is so angry.

As we walk out, I stay back to walk with her. My voice barely above a whisper so that only she can hear, I enquire, “You good?”

“Huh?! Oh…yeah…” she chuckles and rubs her neck, and I can see that she’s blushing. Expectantly, I wait for her to continue. “Keith and I had a thing back in the day. When he resigned, he never gave me a reason. Never even so much as said goodbye. So hearing all of this…this…bullshit. It just really struck a nerve.”

I grab her arm and stop walking, serious as ever. Pointing my thumb back in his direction, I say, “You want me to go back in there and beat his ass?”

She laughs a deep belly laugh before pulling me into a tight hug. In my ear, she whispers, “Thank you.” I simply rub her back before parting to get back on our horses to head home. 

Before we leave, I turn to her again and say, “I’m serious, you know. I’ll kick his ass.” She laughs again before spurring her horse forward, and we all take off.

When we get back, Hange and Levi have to go meet Pixis, Erwin, and Zachary, leaving me on my own. I fill the time with a bit of waterbending training, happy to have the time to myself for a moment. It was a shortlived moment, but a moment nonetheless.

“Y/n!” I heard the kids calling my name from a distance despite having known they were watching me for some time prior. Turning around, I wave them over. 

“You all sure don’t know a moment’s peace, do you?”

They blow me off entirely as they begin excitedly telling me about the fancy dinner that’s planned for the evening. A nice send off before the mission to retake Wall Maria.

Armin is the last one talking and finishes off by saying, “...And we just came to get you because we didn’t want you to miss it.”

I’m suddenly overcome with just how much I adore these kids. I envelope him in a big hug which seems to catch him off guard but by the time I move to the next person, they’ve all gotten the hint and eagerly hug me back.

“Thanks, I really appreciate it. I’ll go wash off the wet dog smell so I’ll be ready for dinner then.”

With big smiles, we each head our separate ways to get ready before we reconvene for dinner. 

By the time I get into the mess hall, it’s all out pandemonium. People are fighting over food, who’s the better soldier. Sasha has bitten Jean and I now have to heal him while Connie and Eren tie her up. Beer is involved.

Whose idea was it to give children beer anyway?

Everyone seems to settle down after a the excitement subsides a little, but the peace is short lived. Jean intentionally provokes Eren, and Eren takes the bait. Poor Armin is completely nonplused by the situation but they just so happen to be arguing over him before it breaks into a real fight. The only problem is that they’re very evenly matched, so when even Mikasa wants to let them punch it out, no one steps in and it goes on for a very long time.

I personally find the whole thing rather amusing, and start calling out critiques of their form and choices. “Have either of you paid an ounce of attention to what I’ve been teaching you every fuckin night?”

I lean back and take a sip of my beer before winking at Mikasa, who smiles brightly at me. The fun ends abruptly though when Levi finally steps in, sending them both absolutely sailing.

After Jean hurls, I heal him and leave him to clean up after himself, quietly following Eren, Armin, and Mikasa. It seems Levi had the same idea, and so the two of us end up sitting off in a shadow listening while the kids talk. It’s a sweet conversation they are having, and I’m glad I’m there to hear it. I’m glad Levi is here, too.

When Armin mentions the sea, I can hear the excitement in his voice. It causes me to pull my knees to my chest, resting my chin on top as I get lost in how much I miss the ocean. And the people I used to know as my best friends. I can tell Levi is looking at me now, so I put on a wistful smile and hope that this won’t result in him questioning me about it. 

Once the kids walk away, presumably to head to bed, I move to the spot they had previously occupied and Levi follows. I can tell he’s not pleased with sitting on the dirty stairs.

If you wanna sit with me this is where you gotta do it, ya little shit.

“Something the kid said about the sea struck a chord with you.”

His comment was absolutely meant to be a statement of fact and not a question. It doesn’t pull my eyes from the stars, but it does make me smile a bit.

So much for covering it up.

“It just got me thinking,” is all I’m willing to reveal.

Levi waits for a moment but, sensing that I’m not going to continue, he prompts, “About what?”

I snort a little at his curiosity and briefly wonder if he’s like this with Hange and Erwin too.

Maybe at the beginning he was, but he probably doesn’t have to be like this with them anymore.

I sigh before I respond. “Just about how much I miss the ocean. I grew up seeing it every day. And while I didn’t see it every day when I lived in the Earth Kingdom, I always knew it was right there. And…” I pause, thinking about if I really want to divulge this next bit but ultimately deciding “fuck it.” “And back then, my world was so much smaller. Less confusing. Equally as scary, but I didn’t have so many people I care about so I didn’t have to worry so much, let alone those that I care about being god only knows how many miles away. And that’s not even to mention the fact that I wasn’t in a position where I knew I’d never see them again like I am now.”

I stop, realizing exactly what I had said and wanting to take back all of the vulnerability I had just given him. The best I can think to do is apologize. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to just sort of word vomit all of my woes at you.”

“It’s fine.” And by his tone of voice, I can really tell that he doesn’t mind. 

After sitting with my thoughts for a moment, I decide to voice them on my own accord this time. “Ya know, knowing that everyone I loved in that phase of my life is living in a bubble that I’ll never get to be a part of again is almost as hard as losing people out-right. Ever since I met you all and found out about this part of the world, it’s like my body has wanted to mourn those friendships but my brain won’t let me because realistically I know they’re still happy and living their lives. It’s just…it’s a weird position to be in.”

I still haven’t looked at him, but I can feel Levi shift beside me.

Oh shit, he’s probably uncomfortable with everything I just dropped on him.

Just as I’m about to apologize again, I realize he’s actually shifted closer to me. Like he’s done so many times on the roof, he drapes his cloak around my shoulders, despite the fact that I haven’t outwardly shown any signs of being cold. As he does so, I can feel his hand linger on my shoulder. I turn to look at him as he does so and I can tell there’s a rosy pink dusting his cheeks and even the tips of his ears. I smile brightly at him, appreciative of the fact that he’d give me his cloak despite obviously being cold himself.

Maybe that’s the reason he gave you his cloak in the first place, idiot. It’s cold out. If he’s gonna be nice the least you can do is scoot a little closer so the man doesn’t freeze to death.

I close the distance between us and sit so that our shoulders and knees are touching, sharing at least an ounce of warmth. He tenses up, but only for a moment.

Practically whispering at this point, I say, “Thanks for listening.”

He nods before looking back at the sky, and I turn to do the same. I think we’re going to sit in silence, but after a time he softly says, “I do t-t-trust you, ya know.”

Caught off guard, I can’t help but turn to him and say, “Huh?”

He still doesn’t look at me but he says, “Our c-conversation a few nights ago. You th-think I don’t trust you…I-I-I do.”

“Oh…um, thanks.” Is all I can manage to stupidly say. Against my will, I can feel my face light up in a bit of a blush.

Wow, one beer and I’m a mess. I really need to get it together.

Seemingly happy with my response, Levi doesn’t say anything else. We stay here, in our shared solitude looking out at the sky, until the sun rises on the day we’re to set out to retake Wall Maria.

[ghostofaboy]

Rock Bottom - Limits

Summary: Frankie is spiraling after Tom’s death. Drugs lead to some unhealthy friendships, and too ashamed to reach out to his former teammates for help, Frankie is drawn into a world he’s afraid he can’t get out of.

Frankie meets with Tilly again to talk about what working for him would exactly involve.

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morale/Original Male Characters Rating: Explicit. Serious over 18s only Word count: 2264 Chapter: 17/?

Warnings: implied/referenced drug use, drug addiction, self-esteem issues, angst, Frankie not coping, dubious consent, mentions of hard and soft limits (masturbation, oral sex, degradation, bondage, choking, anal sex, anal fisting, dildos/plugs, piss play, group sex)

Note: This has not been beta read, so apologies for any mistakes. This is a fic with gay and bi characters. Please make sure you read the tags/warnings. Header by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Part 16 / Part 1 / Masterpost

The next morning Tyler cooked breakfast, all the while complaining as usual about how ‘early’ Frankie had to get up. He chuckled as Tyler once again tried to pitch working with him and how Frankie would be able to set his own schedule. Each of them danced around the elephant in the room until Tyler set the pancakes in front of them.

“So,” Tyler began, pointing his fork at Frankie as the bleary-eyed former pilot started to eat. “I’ve slept on it, and here’s what I think. Like I said last night. I can’t shit on this or you doing any sex work without coming off as a massive asshole. I’m a fucking sex worker. I have a job booked in a couple of weeks with some guys. I have sex with other men all the time.”

“Good to know.” Frankie interjected sardonically, chewing his food and throwing Tyler a wink when the younger man frowned at Frankie’s words.

“My point is,” Tyler playfully scowled as he continued, “that the sex part isn’t the problem for me. Yeah, I’ll be jealous, but it’s not like you love the guy. It’s just sex.”

“The problem is who it is.” Frankie nodded.

“Yeah. Tilly’s rep is bad. I know he’s a loan shark, but I’m guessing that’s the tip of the iceberg Frank.”

“I’d never heard of him before this.” Frankie admitted. “But yeah, he’s obviously into some shady shit. That’s what I want to talk to him about today. I want a promise to keep me out of his other business.”

“When are you gonna talk to him?”

“After work. I just need to let him know when and where. In fact…” Frankie pulled out his phone. “I’ll text him now.”

[It’s Frankie Morales. Are we still on for today? Same time & place as yesterday?]

“All right.” Tyler finished his breakfast, collecting Frankie’s empty plate as he passed. “I’ll let you get to work. I’m gonna head home and go back to bed; it’s too fucking early, man. Let me know how it goes, ok?”

“I will.” After planting a kiss on Tyler’s lips, Frankie watched as the younger man left, heading for his car. Then Frankie finished getting ready before gathering his stuff for the day ahead.

Tilly didn’t text back until halfway through Frankie’s lunch hour. His phone buzzed in his pocket, making him jump as he fumbled to fish it out. Frowning, Frankie read the message.

[Yup! Made some notes re: our last conversation. But I was wondering if you’d like to come to my home? I can show you the cars, and it’ll be more comfortable than storage sheds.]

Tilly wanted him to go to his house? That was a big step. 

Frankie chewed thoughtfully on his food as he considered this offer. On the one hand, Tilly would have the advantage if he wanted to try anything. On the other, if he accepted the job, he’d be working there, so he may as well get the lay of the land. It made a certain kind of sense, but it wasn’t without danger. Frankie still didn’t know enough about Tilly to trust him fully. But then again, he’d been around the guy when drugged. If Tilly wanted to hurt him, he’d already had ample opportunity. 

[Ok. Send me your address and I’ll drive over after I’ve finished work.]

By the time he’d finished his lunch, Tilly had sent over his address, and Frankie had Googled it. It was in a nice part of town and looked pretty big from the aerial view. Tilly had obviously done well for himself, although Frankie still hadn’t figured out what he did as his legitimate business. Tidying up after his lunch Frankie tried to mentally prepare himself for the meeting later as he headed back to work.

After finishing for the day, Frankie went home to quickly shower before heading over to the address Tilly had sent him. As he pulled up, Frankie got his first look at Tilly’s home, and he had to admit it was gorgeous.

Set back from the road behind a pair of large iron gates, the house was barely visible from the street. As the gates opened for him, Frankie was able to drive up the short winding driveway toward the house. Pulling up outside, Frankie was met with a two-story house with sleek, clean lines with bright wood paneling. There were only a couple of windows visible from the front, both on the second floor. From this angle, the house looked like a large wooden block with a set of frosted glass double doors that swung open as Frankie killed his engine. 

Locking up his truck, Frankie was met at the door by Tilly beaming at him in a pair of blue sweatpants and a tight black vest showing off his muscular arms. 

“Great to see you again!” Tilly held the door open for Frankie to go inside. “Would you like something to drink, Frankie? I have tea and coffee, or would you like something cooler? I have beer or lemonade.”

Inside was a small entranceway that opened into a large sitting area with huge floor-to-ceiling windows that dominated the far wall. Off to the right were a set of stairs going up, while to the left was an impressive kitchen. Tilly darted into the kitchen, pulling out a couple of glasses and glancing back at Frankie.

“Beer? Lemonade?”

“Lemonade is fine.” Frankie shrugged, not wanting to drink alcohol at the first meeting in case he needed his wits about him.

“Take a seat, and I’ll bring it over.”

Frankie nodded and headed over to the lounge. A massive white leather L-shaped sofa occupied most of the space in the room, wrapping itself around the area. A large panel tv hung on the wall above a sleek metal fireplace that seemed to be the focal point, flanked on either side by massive windows. Frankie could see a cozy seating area and a pristine-looking lawn through the windows.

Sitting down on the plush sofa, Frankie started taking in the details. Although the space looked clean and minimalist, tiny personal touches were everywhere. A large bookcase was packed full of books, both paperback and hardcover, as well as small picture frames. While there was no art on the walls, there were pops of color everywhere to contrast the stark white. Sheer navy blue curtains framed the huge windows, the shag pile rug was a sandy shade of beige, and the sofa cushions were patterned with navy and gold. 

“Here.” Tilly returned, handing Frankie a cool glass of lemonade and pulling over a small glass coffee table. “So, shall we make small talk or cut the bullshit and dive straight in?”

Frankie couldn’t stop himself from smiling at Tilly’s joke. “Why don’t we just get to this?”

“All right.” Tilly nodded, setting down his glass. “I’ve given some thought to what you said about rules and came up with a list of things I would like to do with you so we can rule things out if needed. What about you? Do you have a list for me? Hard and soft limits?”

“Yes.” Frankie took a sip. “Firstly though, I wanna make sure I don’t have anything to do with your, um, your business. I’ll fix your cars, I’ll fuck you, but I’m not gonna work as a hired thug.”

Tilly’s eyebrows shot up, but he smiled all the same. “Blunt. But fair enough. I understand your concern. My business is, well, my business. Not yours and I give you my word you won’t be involved.”

“All right then.” Frankie took another mouthful before putting the lemonade on the table. “Do you want me to just list them or…?”

“Oh!” Tilly stood up and headed to the bookcase to grab a pad and pen. “You’re right. I should have this down. That way, we can revisit it when needed. Go ahead.”

“Ok, soft limits.” Frankie thought for a moment. “Well, to start with, I guess degradation is ok, but only if it’s just us. I don’t know if we’ll do group stuff, but if we do… please, no degradation. And I don’t mind being called a slut but don’t ever call me a whore.”

Tilly furiously scribbled down Frankie’s words. “Got it. Anything else?”

“I’ve never done any bondage, so I’m a little… um…” Frankie stumbled over his words. “I don’t know you that well, so…”

“I understand completely.” Tilly looked up from his notes. “We can talk about that once you’re more comfortable around me. What about light bondage? Not tying you up, but something like nipple clamps or a cock cage?”

“That’s fine.” Frankie nodded. “Light spanking is fine too, but no hard impact play.”

“Hands only.” Tilly looked up at Frankie, smiling. “I’m not really into spanking, to be honest. Is that all the soft limits?”

“I’m open to being blindfolded, some roleplay and sounding.” Frankie racked his brain but then shook his head. “That’s all l I can think of right now.” 

“Soft limits can be revisited as we try new things.” Tilly drew a line under the list he had written, then poised the pen to begin taking notes again. “Hard limits? Things you absolutely won’t do.” 

“No choking. I don’t want anything round my neck. Not your hands or a cord, nothing. So no breath play either.” Frankie wrung his hands. “Nothing to do with animals or animal roleplay. I’m not gonna eat out of a fucking dog bowl for you. No needles, no guns, no knives. Piss is fine, but no scat or blood. And it goes without saying, but no drugs.”

“Got it.” Tilly finished his notes and then underlined each one. Looking up at Frankie, Tilly looked almost sympathetic. “Frankie, I don't know what kind of guys you’ve been with in the past or who Gavin was renting you out to, but I don't want to hurt you. I will never do anything to physically hurt you; I don’t get off on that.”

“So, what do you want to do with me?” Frankie grabbed his lemonade again and took a big mouthful.

“Well, what I would consider basic stuff, really.” Tilly shrugged. “Anal, oral, masturbation. You know I like to fist you. You already mentioned degradation. I might make you display yourself for me, but nothing public. The rest is plugs, dildos, edging, piss play, and maybe some group stuff now and again.”

“That all sounds simple enough.” Frankie nodded, taking it all in. “Is… is this what we used to do together?”

“Yes.” Tilly looked guilty at the mention of his prior times with Frankie, and Frankie couldn’t help feeling a little satisfaction at that. “Lots of oral, cum eating, anal, then I’d fist you. Wide, not deep. Like I said, we never did anything you didn’t like.”

Frankie rolled his eyes and drained his glass. “I want a safe word too.”

“Naturally. Do you have one?”

“January.” Frankie answered immediately. He’d been using the same safe word since his twenties, making it ingrained in his mind. “So, I think that’s everything.”

“Not quite.” Tilly set the pad and pen down next to his lemonade. “This part is a little, shall we say, delicate. I’m not going to beat around the bush, though. I know you’re in a, well, a relationship with Tyler Jansen, an up-and-coming online porn star. Now, I’m not going to tell you that you can’t have a boyfriend, but he might not be very understanding of our arrangement.”

“I’ve already talked to him about this.” Frankie frowned. So Tilly knew about Tyler? Of course, he did. “So long as you can promise me I won’t be a part of any other part of your organization, then we’re both fine with this arrangement.”

“Organization? You make me sound like a crime boss.” Tilly laughed. “But if you’ve already spoken to him, then I think we’re done for the day. Unless you’d like to stay the night?”

Frankie hesitated for a moment, then shook his head. “I still have work tomorrow. I’ll have to talk to my boss and hand my notice in before I start working for you.”

“So you’ll take the job?” Tilly looked overjoyed. 

“I wanna run everything from today past Tyler, but yeah, I think so.” Frankie stood up, with Tilly leading him back to the front door. “I’ll let you know when I’ve spoken to my boss so I can give you a start date.”

“But I haven’t shown you the cars yet.” Tilly smirked, holding the door open. “Why don't you come over this weekend? Have a look at the cars and start your extra duties early.”

Frankie paused for a fraction of a second before nodding, swallowing hard as he shook Tilly’s hand and got back into his truck. Setting off back home, Frankie shifted in his seat. 

He had lied. 

He didn’t know why he told Tilly he would go over it with Tyler. He was taking the job. He knew that now. 

From the moment he’d started talking about sex acts and what they would and wouldn’t be doing, he had felt his dick twitch. Even as Tilly briefly spoke about what they’d done together, he’d felt his arousal growing. They were going to fuck this weekend after viewing the cars, and Frankie was concerned how much he was looking forward to it. Even though thoughts of Tyler and his beautiful soulful eyes and goofy smile made him feel guilty, he still shivered at the thought of Tilly’s cock in him. 

[allie-campbell-bradshaw]

Chapter 3: Oath

A/N: Welcome to the third chapter of Top Gun: Baby, a love story following Bradley Bradshaw and Allie Campbell. This story is sequential, so if you have not already read the first few chapters, please go back and do so! All links to chapters and their mood boards can be found on my masterlist. I am dozens of chapters into this story and I absolutely HATE going in and editing these. I promise my skills in writing improve as we move forward. Like any story, the first few chapters are used to build background. Once Allie comes into the story, it gets WAY better. I had so much anxiety editing this chapter you have no idea! I mention this in my notes for every chapter, but just in case you missed it– I do not give permission for my work to be re-posted without credibility. If you do want to post this story to your page, please be sure that you tag my account or at least mention its original source in your post. Again, thank you for being here and I hope you enjoy :)

Warnings: Swearing, Angst against a loved one

Chapter Three: Oath

BRADLEY’S POV

I was already finished getting changed into my white works, holding onto my copy of Reef Points as others were still messing with their white fabrics and dixie cup hats. This is the official “handbook” if you will that all Naval Academy students have to have memorized by the end of Plebe Summer. All it is are facts and details about the USNA and Naval missions, histories, and traditions. Like a textbook that you use for a college course.

Lucky for me, I was able to get my hands on one earlier this year thanks to Hollywood, another naval man that flew with my dad. He contacted me after I received my acceptance letter and promised that if I ever needed anything, he would help. That was code for “If you want me to put in a good word, I’ll do it”. I am a man of my own integrity and have every intention of creating my own repudiation. What the fuck am I saying? There’s no way anyone generational can create their own rep in this field. I am and will forever be known as “Goose’s kid”. It fucking sucks. I hate it, and am headstrong enough to prove them wrong with any misconceptions they might have of me, but I know for some navalmen, that will be excruciatingly difficult. I want to do this on my own. I want to prove that I should be here, not just that I could be here because of my dad.

Within the next few minutes, we were assigned our ICAO Company. A group of ten women were assigned to the Alpha Company. Natasha was one of them. She gave me a wave as she walked over to her quarters, in her dress whites, which fit her perfectly. I looked like a clown. I hated the uniforms, but didn’t want to complain too much, because there was a point in my life where I thought I would never get the chance to wear them.

I was one of the last to be called to a group, assigned to the November Company. Once we made it to our quarters, which was on the first floor of the building, I heard an Officer yell out “102 Bradshaw and Frasier”. Someone Frasier, whoever he was, was going to be my roommate for the next four years. 

I walked forward and made eye contact with him as he walked to the front as well. “Looks like it’s us!” He said in a comedic tone. I could already tell he was going to be a character. Honestly, I would’ve preferred it this way. I would rather be with someone goofy like me than be with a hardass.

We walked into the room and noticed that there were 2 sets of bunks. Whoever Frasier made his way to the one on the right, so I made my way to the one on the left. The bunks were made of a deep gray metal and the room was covered in tan white paint. There were two white sheets on both ends of the beds, a fitted one and a flat one. Both polyester. Score! I loved polyester sheets. My mom would surprise me on random occasions and take me to a hotel to sleep when I was younger. Most of the time it was when I did something good in school, like scoring a 100 on a big test or reporting a bullying situation to the teacher. I was considered a tattle tale when I was younger, but I didn’t care! I got to sleep in a hotel and swim in their pools! So, you bet your sweet ass when I found someone getting pounded at recess, I was the first one to run to the teachers and alert them of the situation. I would do ANYTHING to get to sleep in those polyester sheets! Damn, I was a hot dog.

“I’m Bradley.” I introduced myself, holding out my hand.

“Emmett.” He said with a big smile on his face, gripping my hand and giving it a light shake.

“Nice to meet you.” I said, watching him as he put on his sheets.

“Quit staring at my ass man.” He muttered out with a corner of the fitted sheet in his mouth, swaying his hips from side to side as a way to show off his backside.

I let out an airy laugh as I turned to make my bed. I was going to like this guy. He was equally as well humorous as me. Just maybe a little more immature.

“So what’s your story?” I asked him as I focused on my sheets.

“Buy me dinner first.” He quickly responded. I chuckled at his remark and shook my head a little. I stayed quiet, waiting for him to respond, which he eventually did. “My mom caught me and my buddies getting high and told me that I had two options: report my dealer to the cops or enlist in the military”.

I shot up from my bunk, looking over at him, his hands here resting on his hips in a way too casual way for his recent admission.

“What?!” I asked, still in disbelief.

“No, I'm just kidding,” He said, turning back around, “Well, not about the getting high part. She found my bong and I knew I was fucked. So when she confronted me about it I was able to shoot back with the ‘I’m already planning on applying to the Academy’ card. Which was true! I was already going anyway, it just bought me some leverage”. 

“I maybe wouldn’t share that story with the Officers on base”.

“Oh yeah I know! They think I got the idea in church. Sitting in the front pew, on my knees, getting the idea all of a sudden, saying it was God talking to me. They ate that shit up”. Shit that was good. My admissions essay was about him, and my mom, and my dad. Basically how my whole life has been a fucking mess. I was able to buy myself some pity, but his essay topic, now that was just genius! “What about you?” He asked me.

“It’s generational” I said to him, which was just the abridged version of all of my shit events. I tucked the pillow case in the pillow and threw it to the edge of the bed.

“Cool!” Emmett exclaimed sarcastically. “You look a little old to be here”. He stated boldly.

This caused me to smirk and let out yet another airy laugh. “I’m 23.” I answered coldly again.

He had his hands back on his hips, looking at me as though I had more to add to our encounter. “Well, this has been a fascinating conversation” he remarked, yet in another sarcastic tone. “Got a girl?”

I shook my head as I adjusted the sheets on my bed.

“Yeah me neither.” He said quickly.

“What!” I exclaimed, turning to him, “How does a guy like you not have a girl!” I was saying it more in a sarcastically joking tone, but there was some truth to it, because he was quite fun.

“I know, it’s not fair.” he said slyly. 

Just then, someone barged into our room. His eyes were a piercing green, his muscles protruding out of his solid black shirt, he wore navy green cargo pants and boots. His skin was a deep color of brown. “Ladies!” he yelled at us. He was definitely our detailer, the man in charge of training us for the summer.

“That would be us!” Emmett responded. Shit!

“Never speak unless spoken to!” The detailer screamed in his face. Emmett immediately went cold. “Now drop down and give me 20”. Before I could blink, Emmett was on the ground, doing pushups. “YOUR NOSE TOUCHES THE GROUND!” He screamed. Emmett went down further, until the tip of his nose grazed the tiled floor.

“And you!” He yelled to me, in less of an angry tone since I didn’t do anything wrong, “15”!

I got down quickly and did my push ups in perfect posture. The tips of my toes were on the ground and I went low until my nose was touching the floor. I couldn’t see him, but I saw an adjustment in his shadow, telling me that he was impressed with my performance. 

We both finished at the same time, standing up and looking at him. “You always stand at attention when being spoken to!” Both of us stood up, sticking our chests out, making sure to mirror each other so that if we messed up, at least we went down together. The detailer sighed and let out a “Jesus” before walking over to us and adjusting our postures to what it should be.

“My name is Denzel Housemen. You will call me sir until I tell you to stop”. He finished adjusting me and I made sure to memorize the position my body was in, holding my stance until I was told to stand down. “When I am not near you, assume that I’m close. I can approach you at any time of any day. So be ready”. He said as he adjusted Emmett.

He took a step back and examined both of us, “At ease gentlemen.” He said smoothly.

Both Emmett and I dropped our stance and looked at him, ready to go down whenever we should. We heard yelling coming from other quarters and assumed that everyone else was becoming acquainted with their trainers.

Denzel looked me up and down. “You must be the Bradshaw boy.” He stated, confident in his answer.

My face pulled down, knowing that he knew about me and the story of my family. “Yes, sir.” I said quietly.

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” He started to scream at me.

“Yes, sir!” I yelled back, audible with clear diction.

“We expect great things from you”. He said calmly, before acknowledging Emmett. “Oh yeah, the kiss ass ‘found my calling at church’ admissions essay. Mom bust you for drugs or something?” He asked.

Emmett was about to answer and then froze, opting not to answer. “I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!” Denzel yelled at him.

“No, sir!” Emmett yelled back. 

I had to bite my tongue hard, fighting back with everything I had not to laugh.

“Well, you both seem very intelligent. We’ll see if you last the night. Follow me gentlemen- and in proper posture! Pivot on your feet when you make a turn and never look down. I promise I will let you know if the ground erodes from the Earth”.

Emmett and I followed him as he made his way to the commons area. Men and women were lining up in their white works, standing at attention and facing forward. Most parents had stayed for this portion, the most important portion. The oath of office.

Right at 18:00, a Commandment of Midshipmen began the ceremony. They first informed us about our statement of intent and then ordered us to raise our right hand and repeat after him.

I looked over my left shoulder and saw Natasha, she raised her right eyebrow quickly, moving it up and down while she raised her right hand. I smirked at her and then looked over my right shoulder, he was standing right at the end of the row I was in, which only had 3 of my classmates separating us. Although he wasn’t beaming with happiness, he didn’t look upset or angry either. One could say he looked proud. 

I shot him a disapproving look before raising my right hand, keeping a sharp glare on him as I repeated after the commanding officer;

“HAVING BEEN APPOINTED A MIDSHIPMAN IN THE UNITED STATES 

NAVY,

 I SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT I WILL SUPPORT AND DEFEND THE 

CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES 

AGAINST ALL ENEMIES, FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC; 

THAT I WILL BEAR TRUE FAITH AND ALLEGIANCE TO THE SAME; 

THAT I TAKE THIS OBLIGATION FREELY, 

WITHOUT ANY MENTAL RESERVATION OR PURPOSE OF EVASION; 

AND THAT I WILL WELL AND FAITHFULLY DISCHARGE THE DUTIES OF THE OFFICE 

ON WHICH I AM ABOUT TO ENTER, 

SO HELP ME GOD.

I closed my mouth and continued to stare at him, keeping my right hand raised as people cheered around me. I was now in the Navy. He lost. I won.

He didn’t cheer. He didn’t even smile. Instead, he looked at the ground before shifting his weight and walking away. Having no intention of staying any longer.

Yeah, that’s right. YOU lost. I won!

[enihk-writes]

i read your comment reply to the "x reader needs to be completely ambiguous" post and i have to say, i agree with your whole statement.

i am a poc fanfic writer myself and i think it is weirdly entitled when someone demands inclusion in that way? the majority of fanfic nowadays gives correct tags (i.e. f!reader or specific title!reader) and is inclusive enough (not using light/dark when talking of colours of skin/eyes/hair, not specificying on body type just saying that are shorter/taller than certain characters)

so I don't really understand OP's whole... rant. and about the whole personality and bg story? most long fics require some adequate backstory for their protagonist a.k.a the reader, so they need a backstory to be somewhat interesting right?

and did you read their PS 2? I have to say that writing ambiguous readers are easier (not easy, just less difficult) on short stories like drabbles or headcanons or one shots. but long fics? it is borderline impossible unless you want to have a boring 2-dimensional protagonist with the personality of a potato.

not to mention writers who write the untagged oc! reader stories are probably young. like 14 15 young. writers at that age are just writing for themselves and probably are new to the whole "writing for fandom" sphere.

idk anymore, I just wanna say I agree with your statement even if I'm afraid to reveal myself bc I'm scared of getting cancelled lmfaooo

i just saw their ps 2 and i personally think they're doubling down on a point just because someone else might not agree with them... ive been writing fanfiction since i was 13,,, im like 22 now, and i feel like what people in fandom nowadays (fuck i sound like a boomer urggghhh) forget that x readers were created as a form of self-insert. you as a reader just happen to have the "privilege" to also read this piece of fanfiction that someone else created to satisfy their own fantasies and thought that "hey i think someone like me out there might enjoy this too!!!"

i wouldn't say their rant is entitled, i guess they're not wrong but also,,, it's icky,, just that something in that rant is icky to me,,, ive seen this same argument over and over again in the past few years and many people have pointed out really good points (i.e. lack of poc rep) which is why i think it's great to highlight and boost poc!reader fanfics so that other poc writers know that they are appreciated in that fandom space!!! which brings me to the part in their rant where they talk about writing about ambiguous readers.

is it easy? to an extent, yes.

in my mind when i write fanfics, they are all faceless, shapeless entities,, but there is only so much i can do with this character that i cannot imagine. what happens when i want to explore certain topics that i might relate to? i can't expect my readers to understand what it's like being a first-generation immigrant in a first-world city, whose home country is now going through a civil war? but does that mean i'm going to not post what i write as an x reader? no! i'm going to post it so that you as a reader can see what goes on in my head, how i see the world and hopefully, that reader can appreciate the work i have put out that i wrote with my heart.

that's my side of the story. and honestly someone not liking a fic because it doesn't relate to them is the most self-centred take i have seen and it used to be a valid argument but now,,,, it's morphing into plain old "what about me?" and they end the conversation at that,,, like why should writers care about you? if you're not the target audience for these fics,, move on!!!

if you are, great! good for you!

if you want to see something specific, open that fucking word document and write!!!! im so tired of seeing people complain and complain without doing anything to change things themselves like okay boss babes let's stop with the lip service and do something with the abilities you have!!! it's going to be the shittest writing ever the first few times but by your 10th or 20th fanfic you are getting somewhere, you are writing the literature you want to see in fandom spaces and who knows,,, you could find your own audience that loves your niche!!!

maybe it's just the way ive been raised but the amount of self-centred individualistic sentiment that has been going on in recent years is so!!!!!! it makes me want to fucking scream!!!! write it yourself!!! do it yourself!!!! im not obliged to write anybody's preferences other than my own!!!!

[kae-karo]

fic writer tag game

saw someone on the for you tab do this (x) as a tag game but obvs i do not know them and did not get tagged and thus i thiefed it 😌

How many works do you have on AO3? 258!!!!

What is your AO3 word count? 3,097,981

What fandoms do you write for? currently 99% blue lock, although i have a wip in genshin and one in bnha that i would some day like to finish lmao

What are your top five fics by kudos? in order they are chosen (x), to love (and be loved in return) (x), little bird (x), feet don't touch the ground (x), and cold devotion (x) wow genshin rly repping out here lmaooo

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yes basically always!!!! i really appreciate that someone took the time to tell me they liked my story and it feels like the least i can do to tell them that!

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? hmm it is rare indeed that i write fics with unhappy endings but i did it twice for bnha so it's probably a tie between freeing icarus (x) and to the stars that burn (x)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? this is a strange question for me to try to answer just cause like. idk i would say a solid 90% of my fics have overtly happy endings? if we're talking happiest compared to the initial vibe, i would say pink light (x) does a good job of starting off angstier and trending quickly toward a very happy ending, but that's just off the top of my head due to recency lmao

Do you get hate on fics? i have gotten hate on fics lmao i've had a handful of hate comments regarding kaeluc, one about how 'disgusting' a certain t/b dynamic was, one about a character's storyline, a few about my portrayal of a canon dynamic, and one complaining about the ship the fic was about and how it's so lame that anyone's still reading it

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes i absolutely do sldkjfkldsf all kinds really? pretty vanilla for the most part although i've dipped my toe into a kink or two here and there

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? nah not really my jam tbh? too much to keep in my head at one time lmaoooo

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not to my knowledge 😬

Have you ever had a fic translated? yes!!!! lots of lovely people have translated my fics

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? one time lmao with my wife back in the day, although we never really 'finished' it (it was sort of a one-shot ongoing thing so each bit was self-contained but we didn't write more than a few of them)

What's your all-time favourite ship? i refuse to pick one skdjflkdsjf not so much in a 'i could never choose!' kind of way but more bc like. my tastes have changed and will continue to change so anything i say is just gonna be my current opinion. which would be ryusae.

What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will? ohhhhh this is a painful question lmaoooo what can i allow myself to let go of. i have a wip that's followed me across fandoms that i think i've accepted i won't ever finish. i am still deeply trying to keep my interest alive in my two other longfic wips to prevent their untimely demises lmao

What are your writing strengths? immersion!!! coincidentally it's also one of my fave compliments, that i was able to make something very immersive/that people couldn't put it down/etc. i think i do a good job of highlighting the pov character's thoughts, feelings, observations, etc in ways that help tie readers to the character and experience what they're experiencing

What are your writing weaknesses? banter/comedy !!!! this is really a comparative one imo cause i know i've done banter and comedy well but i've also seen it done better and i think it's an area i don't particularly excel in apart from once in a blue moon. which is fine by me!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? i've done it on occasion! i think it can be fun and interesting especially when relevant to the story or for a good bit

First fandom you wrote for? dan and phil

Favourite fic you've ever written? me, staring forlornly at the 258 fics i've written like ummmmmmm. i am supposed to PICK? ldskfjklsdf is it cheating if i pick a fic i haven't published yet? cause i have one i started almost 2mo ago and i've literally reread it probably a solid dozen times minimum since i finished it (it's for an event otherwise i def would've posted it sooner lmao) but honestly i put my heart into so many of my fics in ways that are so meaningful at the time of my writing that it's hard to say that one fic holds the whole thing when they really all hold different pieces

technically this is a tag game so if u see it and wanna do it, please consider this me tagging u (and tag me so i can see ur answers!!!)