#get sneezed on idiot
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In case anyone missed it, Roier did a twitter space earlier where he talked about why he’s been pretty MIA recently.
Here’s a full translation, but, basically, he got really sick with some kind of flu on his way to visit his family for the holidays because some idiots on his airplane weren’t wearing masks while actively being sick (with what apparently is a potentially-deadly strain of the flu.) He isn’t actively sick anymore, but he’s still feeling the after effects pretty badly. He’s hoping to start streaming again soon with TLOU and some other stuff he’s downloaded, but he doesn’t know when he’ll be able to.
So spare some thoughts for him, and remember to mask up in public, especially if you’re feeling under the weather!
#I hope he recovers well#I remember getting super sick in august 22 and staying sick until OCTOBER#got bronchitis from covid because some idiots in my one class came to class coughing and sneezing and unmasked
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this girls sleepy sneezes are so fucking cute i’m actually melting
#snz blog#snz kink#snzblr#self obs#wlw snz#like shut up shut up she’s so adorable#and i just get to bless them and kiss her ugh#i love my sleepy girlfriend and her sleepy sneezes#im grinning like an idiot rn she’s so cute#all my posts have been about her cause she’s everything
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maybe beginning the deep clean of my room on a day where my nose was already more sensitive and sneezy than usual was a bad idea…perhaps i should’ve thought a little harder about how itchy and allergic the combination of dust and lingering cat hair would make me, let alone on top of what i’m worried might be an oncoming cold—and a very sneezy, hitchy one at that.
my room might be cleaner than when i started but i’ve certainly made a mess of myself and am sneezing so frequently still that i can barely make this post
#both because i keep sneezing all over my phone or my hands and getting it on my phone#which makes typing very difficult#and by the time i clean it off it happens again#or because i’m just so busy building up and hitching and doing those stupid little gasps like an idiot#the itch just keeps getting stuck so far back in my nose and i keep getting distracted by how much it tickles#just keep pausing and staring at the ceiling hitching like a fool LMAO#there are tears all down my face again and my eyes are#very unhappy with the dust and cat hair#god sorry i sneezed mid typing that and it’s not worth restarting to make it one tag#little self obs#the harshness and quantity of these sneezes is really bothering my already sore throat#fingers crossed it’s just allergies and the cold#but i think i might be getting sick#cw mess
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#apparently i'm so deathly annoying that it's HORRIBLE of me to ask to hear a bless you after i sneeze#I'M not the one who's still semi religious and it's just a fucking social norm that i follow out of habit & i like it bc sneezing sucks#when she sneezes on the other side of the house i text it to her it's FUNNY bc sneezes are LOUD#she's claiming i've been MAD like Genuinely Angry at her for not saying it#she's acting like i'm INSANE and saying i Picked Up This Habit Somewhere Else bc it Wasnt Our Household#which is a bald faced LIE bc WE FUCKING SAID IT GROWING UP. AND IT IS A UBIQUITOUS SOCIAL NORM#what the FUCK is she talking abt? and NO i havent been MAD i've made JOKES abt it#i'm sitting RIGHT NEXT TO HER and she's on her phone ignoring me and doesnt say bless you#so she gets angry and defensive and all this shit starts like fucki g CHRIST if you HATE IT THAT MUCH then ASK ME TO STOP SAYING IT#im autistic & have ocd i like the little habits and norms i LIKE this one#she codescendingly explained to me as if i'm a fucking idiot that it's GOD bless you and ???? SO? I KNOW THAT???#what is your FUCKING point YOURE the semi religious one!!!!#i'm so fucking tired of being hated and found so fucking annoying of having ALL of my motivations made into evil hateful malicious stuff#i'm so fucking tired and sick of this shit
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“Achoo!”
You sneeze again, rubbing your nose, you feel absolutely.
Terrible.
All day, you’ve barely been able to do anything but blow your nose and lie down for five minutes before your head starts spinning. Just when you think it can’t get any worse, you hear the doorknob click.
Shit.
You promised to make dinner tonight.
“I’m home.” his deep voice fills the air, sending you into a mild panic as you scramble toward the kitchen, hoping to whip something up in time.
He steps in, towering figure leaning against the doorframe, eyebrow quirked up in confusion.
“Sorry Ryo! I’ll get you something to eat soon.”
He doesn’t respond at first, just watches you with narrowed eyes. Then, he moves closer, his steps slow and deliberate. Before you know it, he’s right in front of you, staring down.
He stretches a hand out, touching the back of his hand to your forehead.
“You… are ill.” He states, furrowing his brow.
“It’s just a cold—“
He grunts, clearly annoyed. “Why would you try to cook in this condition?”
“Because I promised… and I didn’t want you to get mad.” you say looking down at your feet.
Sukuna lets out a low, irritated growl, turning on his heel and stalking toward the kitchen.
"Sit down."
You blink, watching him in surprise as he opens the fridge and starts pulling out ingredients, his movements efficient and swift. He spares you a glance, and you hesitate before shuffling over to the couch.
"You shouldn’t be doing this for me." your voice laced with guilt, watching his broad back as he chops vegetables.
Sukuna grunts, his eyes flicking toward you, sharp and unyielding. "I am not that idiot you dated before.” he says flatly, the disgust in his voice unmistakable. "You’re sick. I’m not letting you do anything."
The words hit harder than you expect, and you feel a warmth settle in your chest. As he seasons the food with the same precision he brings to everything, you can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips.
The soft clink of the spoon against the pot is the only sound for a moment before his voice cuts through again, harsher this time.
"If you ever push yourself like that again, especially for me, I’ll make sure you regret it."
Your smile fades, but there's comfort in his rough concern. "I won’t." you promise.
A short silence follows, broken only by the bubbling of the soup. When he finally brings the bowl over, he sets it down with a firm thud, crimson eyes watching you closely. "Eat."
You pick up the spoon, feeling overwhelmed by how cared for you are. "Thank you."
His eyes narrow slightly, lips curling in disdain.
"Tch. The bar's in hell if you think I wouldn’t take care of you."
#kbwrites#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#sukuna x reader#sukuna drabble#ryomen sukuna#sukuna fluff#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#sukuna x y/n
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god i just caught the most fatal cold rn
#100% bc my fucking brothers and dad went to the stupid Christmas circus bullshit where there was like 200 people with their sick children#and then they went to fuckung mcdonalds#I THINK I HAUVE COVID#/neg#anyways that wouldnt be impossible being real with yall#ugh i hate this time of year so fucking much#EVERYONE STOP GETTING TOGETHER STOP NOT PUTTING MASKS ON STOP COUGHING AND SNEEZING EVERYWHERE UGH#and now i have to fuckung go to school for a whole week pendant que j'ai la crève#jpense que je vais double mask bc its impossible i miss a single day of school fuck that noise ugh i hate everything i hope i vomit#also my parents are like idiots or something#'YOURE SICK !)? OF WHAT!?? “ girl im not a doctor just look at me dad . do you know what a sick person looks like.#fuck my fucking life#and i can feel menstruation getting closer too like. should i shrill myself?#and he serves me honey and lemon 😔 in what economy cant i have fuckig tea? should i FUCKING shrill myself?#me soup#i want soup so bad im so sad i ate my last ramen yesterday im gonna 🦐 myself
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Trash Novel Chronicles: Please Let Me Live - Vil Schoenheit x reader
You get isekai'd into the worst novel you've had the misfortune of reading because apparently your life is a cosmic joke. Now all you have to do is not act like the character you've possessed and it'll be fine, you think? Your fiancé being Vil Schoenheit makes it a little harder to behave like a human being with functional braincells, but hey, atleast he likes you, you think?
Series Masterlist
You'd avoided it for so long. For months, your best friend had been pestering you to read the shoujo isekai novel of the year. According to them, it was the epitome of romantic drama, the kind that would "turn your heart into a mess of feelings" and "change your life." So, finally, after a particularly grueling week, your willpower hit rock bottom. You caved. You bought it, poured yourself a drink, and figured, "How bad can it be?"
Turns out, really bad.
You’d barely made it past the first few chapters before your brain began to leak out of your ears. Every overused villainess plot point imaginable was crammed into the story like a contest of "how much nonsense can we fit in here before the reader gives up?" The evil fiancée everyone inexplicably hated? Check. The perfect cinnamon roll male lead everyone adored even though he had the personality of wet cardboard? Double check. The heroine who was so pure that even her sneeze would be enough to unite warring nations who also happens to be the saintess? You had to put the book down and take a moment when she gave a speech about friendship that was so saccharine, your teeth hurt.
Grumbling and filled with regret, you got up to refill your drink… only to slip on bubble wrap you swore yesterday that you were going to pick up later, fall face-first into the kitchen counter, and began to bleed out.
It was a comically stupid way to die. You knew that as you lay there, watching the light fade from your vision, your last thoughts being, This is the dumbest thing that’s ever happened to me.
And then, darkness.
You woke up with a groan, your head pounding. As your vision cleared, you noticed you were lying in a very, very fancy bed. Silk sheets, gold trimming on the canopy, the works. And you were dressed in something frilly, layered, and far too complicated for someone who just woke up from a near-death experience.
"What the…"
You sat up, rubbing your eyes, only to freeze as the realization hit you. This was not your bed. This was not your apartment. This was… Oh god, no.
You whipped your head around the lavish room, recognizing it from the novel you’d been hate-reading just last night. The massive mirror above the dresser, the tapestry with an overly detailed family crest, the obnoxiously large bouquet of roses that smelled way too sweet.
You’re in the book.
Panicking, you scrambled out of bed and rushed to the full-length mirror by the wall. The reflection staring back at you was not your own. Instead, you saw an unfamiliar face—her face. The one mentioned once, maybe twice, in the whole novel before being discarded like an old shoe: the betrothed of the villain.
The fiancée who dumps him for the male lead. The fiancée who gets themselves killed in the process.
“Oh, come on!” you groaned, slapping your forehead. “I’m the villain’s betrothed? I’m that idiot who leaves Vil Schoenheit because I fall for the human incarnation of a sugar cube?”
But there was no escaping it. You were now stuck in the body of a side character so irrelevant that even her death was treated as an afterthought. The one who leaves her handsome, ambitious, gorgeous fiancé for… Neige.
No. No, no, no. You were not about to die over a soggy cinnamon roll.
Determined to change your fate, you gathered your wits and opened the door to leave the room. But of course, you ran headlong into a tall figure, knocking you both back.
“Oof! Careful there!” a smooth, yet stern voice said. You looked up—and froze. Standing before you, looking like something straight out of a high-fashion magazine, was Vil Schoenheit. The man whose heart you were supposed to break, the villain who would later descend into madness after you ditch him.
And wow. In person, he was even more stunning than the novel had described. His golden-blond hair shimmered in the sunlight pouring through the window, his purple eyes were as sharp as they were beautiful, and his posture screamed confidence.
You blinked up at him, utterly dumbfounded. You’re supposed to leave him? For Neige? You nearly gagged at the thought.
Vil raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by your wide-eyed staring. “Is something the matter?”
You gulped. Right. You were supposed to be cold and dismissive toward him, weren’t you? But how? This man looked like he could make the heavens weep with his beauty. How had your character ever even considered leaving him?
“No, nothing’s the matter!” you blurted out, a little too enthusiastically. “Actually, everything’s great! You look fantastic! I mean, not that you don’t always look fantastic—because you do—but, you know, extra fantastic today!”
Vil’s eyes narrowed. “You’re acting strange.”
Abort. Abort!
You quickly cleared your throat. “Uh, I’ve just been… thinking. About us.”
His gaze became sharper. “About us?”
You nodded, plastering on your most sincere smile. “Yes! I’ve realized… I haven’t been very, uh, appreciative of you lately. And I’m sorry for that. Really, I am. So from now on, I’ll be the most appreciative fiancée ever!”
Vil looked at you as though you’d just told him the sun was cold. He clearly didn’t trust this sudden change in attitude. “What exactly brought this on?” he asked slowly, suspiciously.
Time for Plan B. “Oh, you know, just… reflection! Self-improvement! I thought, ‘Why would I ever look anywhere else when I’ve got someone like *you* right in front of me?’ You’re… amazing, really.” You cringed internally at how corny that sounded, but Vil didn’t seem entirely put off.
“Hm,” was all he said, but his piercing gaze stayed locked on you, watching for any sign of deceit.
You were sweating bullets, but at least he wasn’t storming off. Yet.
You knew from the moment you read the back cover that this novel was going to be a dumpster fire of clichés, but you were not prepared for the sheer chaos of it all.
So, first off, we have the heroine—the Saintess—who has somehow never faced a single hardship in her life, despite the fact that she’s supposed to be the kingdom’s beacon of virtue and a symbol of overcoming hardship. She’s engaged to the crown prince, who conveniently disappears on a diplomatic mission and dies offscreen, probably to make room for her new love interest, Neige LeBlanche. Neige. That sparkly ray of sunshine who is so perfect and pure that you feel like you need sunglasses whenever his name is mentioned. Because apparently, what’s more romantic than falling for a guy immediately after your fiancé kicks the bucket?
Then there’s the second male lead, the brooding Duke of the North, who checks all the boxes: tall, brooding, handsome, tragic backstory—yawn. Of course, he’s madly in love with the Saintess, and like any self-respecting second male lead in a trashy romance, he sacrifices himself for her later. Because nothing says “I’m irrelevant” quite like noble self-sacrifice.
And don't even get started on the heroine's best friend. She’s basically there to fawn over the Saintess and then inexplicably fall for Vil, the Grand Duke, after she pressures him into apologizing for insulting the heroine's dress. Like, why? Was his dress critique that alluring?
Now, Vil Schoenheit. The Grand Duke. The guy you’re currently stuck with as your fiancé. He’s actually a decent character—powerful, intelligent, not falling over himself to worship the Saintess like everyone else. But in the novel, he’s wasted. Why? Because he’s engaged to the character you’re now possessing—Miss Mean and Cold—who treats him like dirt because she’s too busy fantasizing about Neige. You know, the guy she has no shot with because he’s destined to fall for the Saintess. Then, when your character eventually dumps Vil for Neige, she dies in a freak accident. Vil, who actually loved her (for reasons no one understands), is so heartbroken that he turns into the main villain.
Yes, that’s right—this whole mess of a plot ends with Vil going full villain mode because the love of his life ditched him for the living embodiment of a children’s snowman and then died in a way that no one can explain. Cue the Saintess and Neige teaming up to defeat him and live happily ever after.
And that’s the story. A tangled web of nonsensical relationships, conveniently dead characters, and more emotional whiplash than you can handle. And the cherry on top? You're stuck in it, watching everything unfold firsthand. It's honestly a wonder the book didn’t end up as kindling.
A few days passed, and somehow, miraculously, you managed to keep up the act. Every morning you would wake up, still half-expecting to snap out of this bizarre isekai nightmare, but instead, you were met with Vil’s meticulous morning routine and the low hum of his voice offering helpful reminders about skincare.
And the more time you spent with him, the more baffled you became.
How the hell could the original character have messed this up?!
Sure, Vil was particular—okay, maybe borderline obsessive—about appearances. His lectures about proper sunscreen application could rival the length of the Odyssey. And yes, the daily inspections of your outfit choices felt a little like going through customs at a royal border.
But… he was kind? Like, actually caring?
Every meal was an event because he made sure you were eating properly and not just shoving random food into your mouth like the gremlin you clearly were before. He listened when you rambled about your day, offering advice with this gentle patience that honestly made you want to weep. How could anyone leave this?
You found yourself in front of a mirror one afternoon, pacing and gesturing wildly at your reflection, as if you could summon the spirit of the character you’d possessed. "What the actual hell was wrong with you?!" you hissed at the glass. “What kind of brain rot would make someone ditch a man like Vil?! Are you missing brain cells, or was your skull just a rental with nothing in it?!”
You paused, glaring at your reflection as if it could offer answers, but nope. It just stared back, helpless.
“Like, hello?!” you continued, throwing your hands up in exasperation. “You had a golden opportunity here! He’s literally gorgeous! He’s got hair that looks like it was hand-spun by some ancient beauty god, his fashion sense could kill a lesser mortal, and he—*gasp*—cares about your well-being?!”
You slapped your forehead dramatically. “How did you mess this up? Were you allergic to good things? Did you wake up every day and choose to be a feral raccoon instead of, I don’t know, appreciating this actual masterpiece of a human being? What, did you look at his perfect face and go, ‘Nah, I’d rather yeet myself into self-destruction?’ Because clearly, that’s what happened!”
Your reflection remained silent, offering no help, which only fueled your rant further.
“You absolute donut! You ridiculous bottle of poorly mixed potion! You—” You stopped mid-sentence, running out of sufficiently creative insults to throw at the former owner of this body. Because seriously, what kind of fool would’ve thrown Vil away?
You gripped the sides of the vanity table, leaning forward, narrowing your eyes at your own reflection. "If I find out that you gave up on this because he once asked you to wear a face mask or told you to drink more water… I swear, I'm going to find a way to repossess you just to kill you again for making me deal with this."
A soft knock at the door startled you out of your self-directed tirade. You nearly jumped out of your skin, spinning around to see Vil standing in the doorway, one perfectly groomed eyebrow raised in amusement.
“Talking to yourself again?” he asked, his voice smooth but with a teasing edge. “You know, that’s usually a sign of stress. Perhaps we should revisit that meditation routine I mentioned.”
You stared at him, wide-eyed and speechless, wondering how much he’d overheard. But then you caught sight of that soft smile he reserved just for you, and your brain short-circuited all over again.
Right. The original character was definitely an idiot.
The first major hurdle hit you when you least expected it.
It all started with what should have been a calm afternoon—a brief moment of peace where you and Vil could actually spend time together, no schemes, no weird confrontations, just enjoying tea. You were finally getting comfortable with each other, slowly building the trust that had been so fragile at the start. Finally, you thought, things were moving smoothly.
Then the overused villainess trope decided to rear its ugly head.
Vil was talking about an upcoming event he’d be hosting, his voice calm, his usual stern features softened just slightly by the moment of peace. You were finally letting your guard down.
That was until the door creaked open and in waltzed the heroine’s best friend, a girl with wide, doe-like eyes and a penchant for stirring up unnecessary drama. Behind her, looming in the doorway, was the second male lead—your eternal source of frustration from the novel. He was tall, brooding, and always, always popping up at the most inconvenient moments. A defeated looking Epel walked in behind them, with a look that screamed 'trust me I tried to stop them.'
“Oh no,” you whispered under your breath, recognizing this scene before it could even play out. You knew what was coming, and you braced yourself for the utter absurdity of it.
Vil’s sharp gaze flicked from the two intruders back to you, his brows furrowing in mild irritation. “What is it now?” he muttered, already sensing the impending nonsense.
The heroine’s friend, ever the bringer of chaos, marched right up to your table with a dramatic flair that could only come from someone who believed they were the only purveyor of justice. “I can’t stay quiet any longer!” she declared, pointing an accusatory finger in Vil’s direction. “Vil, how could you treat the heroine this way?! You’ve been so cold, so distant—and it’s clear that you don’t truly care for anyone but yourself!”
You blinked. Excuse me?
Vil’s lips pursed, the irritation growing on his face. “And what, pray tell, did I do?”
“You know what you did!” she exclaimed, crossing her arms like she’d just delivered the most damning statement in history. “You’ve been ignoring her, brushing her off, and acting like she doesn’t even exist. She’s heartbroken because of you!”
You groaned internally. Oh no, this was that scene. The one where, because Vil once made an offhand comment about the heroine’s poor choice in dresses at a ball, suddenly he was painted as some cruel villain who was emotionally tormenting the delicate heroine. It was such an incredibly stupid misunderstanding that you distinctly remembered wanting to throw the book across the room when you’d first read it.
To make matters worse, the second male lead, standing silently but brooding in the doorway, was glowering at Vil like he was ready to challenge him to a duel at any moment. Because of a comment about a dress.
“Are you serious?” you blurted out, the frustration bubbling up before you could stop yourself.
The heroine’s friend gasped, her eyes wide. “Excuse me?!”
“Let me get this straight,” you said, rising from your seat with a groan, “you’re upset because Vil, what, didn’t shower her with praise at the last event? And now you’ve decided to come in here, storming into our tea time, to complain about it?”
The second male lead’s brooding scowl deepened, his jaw tightening. “Vil has been cruel—”
“About a dress.” You cut him off, waving your hand dismissively. “Vil made one comment about her dress. That’s it. And now we’re doing this whole song and dance like he’s some kind of evil tyrant?”
The room was already tense, the heroine’s best friend visibly fuming, but you couldn’t help it. The words just came out before you could stop them.
“And while we’re at it,” you said, your voice dripping with mock innocence, “let’s talk about that dress. You know, the one you’re all so upset about. I mean, I’m no fashion expert, but who in their right mind thought wearing that shade of mustard-yellow was a good idea?”
The friend’s mouth fell open, but you weren’t finished. “I mean, she walked into the ballroom looking like a sad banana trying to go to a high society function. I get it—saintess and all that—but there’s no reason to dress like the interior of an overripe cantaloupe.”
Vil made a choking sound next to you, and you dared to glance at him. His eyes were wide with shock, but there was an unmistakable glint of amusement. Oh, he wasn’t pleased with the crudeness, but he definitely wasn’t going to stop you either.
“And you,” you said, turning to the second male lead, who had been standing there like a silent, brooding statue, just staring at the two of you menacingly. “What’s your excuse? You came in here with all this brooding energy, acting like you’re about to duel someone over the fate of the heroine. But seriously, what’s with your whole tragic hero act? Is your personality just permanent raincloud or do you practice that in the mirror?”
Vil covered his mouth with his hand, and you could see his shoulders shaking slightly. He was losing the battle to keep his composure, but he was trying—for dignity’s sake, of course.
Epel, on the other hand, had completely given up. The moment you’d said “sad banana,” he had fallen off his chair, doubled over in laughter, his face red as he clutched his sides. You weren’t sure if it was your insults or the second male lead’s thunderstruck expression, but either way, Epel was in hysterics.
“I—” the heroine’s friend sputtered, but you interrupted her again.
“Oh, and you.” You looked her up and down with a condescending smirk. “You really want to talk about fashion? Because I don’t know who told you that wearing ruffles with plaid was a look, but they were wrong. You’re out here looking like you got lost in a fabric store and fell into the clearance bin.”
This time, Vil snorted. Actually snorted. The sound was so out of place that it almost derailed your tirade, but you powered through, buoyed by his reaction.
The second male lead looked like he was ready to explode, his aura now bordering on murderous. “You can’t just—”
“Oh, can’t I?” you shot back, crossing your arms. “Because it seems like all of you came in here with the intent to stir up drama over something as trivial as a constructive remark. If you’re going to go to war over fashion, at least wear something that doesn’t look like you picked it out with your eyes closed. Scratch that, I couldn’t imagine picking that up even with my eyes closed.”
By now, Epel was rolling on the floor, laughing so hard he could barely breathe. “C-couldn’t pick it out… with your eyes closed!” he wheezed, slapping his knee.
Vil, despite himself, let out a low giggle, shaking his head in disbelief. “Well,” he said, his voice steady but filled with mirth, “I suppose subtlety was never your strong suit.”
The heroine’s friend, now red-faced and flustered beyond belief, grabbed the second male lead by the arm and yanked him toward the door. “This isn’t over,” she spat, glaring at you. “We’ll see who’s laughing when the heroine—”
“Yeah, yeah,” you waved dismissively, “when the heroine what? Realizes she’s been pining for someone who can't tell mustard from elegance? Trust me, I’m not worried.”
With that, they both stormed out, slamming the door behind them in a huff of embarrassment and frustration. The second they were gone, you let out a breath and sank back into your chair, grinning at Vil, who was now openly smiling.
“You really didn’t hold back, did you?” Vil said, his amusement evident despite his usual calm demeanor. “I don’t approve of such… crude insults, but I must admit—” his lips twitched— “it was rather effective.”
Epel, still recovering from his laughing fit, managed to haul himself back into his seat, wiping tears from his eyes. “That was… that was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said between gasps for air. “I can’t believe ya said that right to their faces!”
“Glad to be of service,” you said with a grin, though your heart was still pounding in your chest. You couldn’t believe you’d actually said all of that out loud. But judging by Vil’s pleased expression and Epel’s ongoing laughter, it had been worth it.
Maybe surviving this trash novel wouldn’t be so bad after all.
You’d barely had time to process how bizarrely normal your life as the villain’s fiancée had become when the next absurd isekai plot point decided to rear its ugly, trope-filled head again.
It all started at yet another lavish tea party. Honestly, you’d begun to lose track of how many of these events you were forced to attend. They all blurred together into a haze of polite smiles, floral patterns, and far too much sugar.
This time, you were seated next to Vil, who, as always, looked like he had just stepped out of a renaissance painting. You, on the other hand, were trying not to spill tea on the new dress he’d insisted you wear. The dress itself was lovely, of course—Vil had impeccable taste—but the whole setting made you feel like you were constantly walking on eggshells. Especially since she was here. The heroine.
Today, though, you were determined to get through it without any drama. Just smile, nod, and let the heroine do her thing. Easy, right?
Wrong.
Everything had been going smoothly, too. The heroine, in all her sunshiney glory, was seated at the table, surrounded by her usual group of admirers. You had been doing a great job of fading into the background until someone—the hostess, perhaps?—brought up your previous adventures.
“Oh, didn’t you once accompany the Grand Duke to deal with that bandit problem on the eastern border?” the hostess asked, fanning herself with interest. “What a thrilling ordeal!”
You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, feeling the weight of too many eyes on you. “Well, I wouldn’t say thrilling exactly…” you began, trying to downplay it, but your nerves had other ideas. “I mean, the heroine here was probably off rescuing some poor lost puppy while I was just, you know, holding down the real danger.”
The air went cold.
The moment the words left your mouth, you froze. The table fell silent, save for the quiet clinking of teacups being set down. Every eye was on you. The heroine’s wide, eyes blinked at you, full of hurt and confusion. And across from you, the second male lead—Mr. Tall, Dark, and Brooding—looked like he was ready to leap across the table and strangle you on the spot.
Oh no. Oh no no no. Why did you leave your filter at home?
You opened your mouth to apologize, but before you could, the second male lead slammed his cup down on the table, the porcelain rattling ominously. “You dare insult her honor?!” he roared, rising from his seat like some kind of vengeful storm cloud. “I will not stand for this!”
*Why did I say that?* You cringed internally, face turning a bright shade of crimson. "I-it was a joke—"
“No,” he declared dramatically, pointing a finger at you. “I demand satisfaction! A duel for her honor!”
You were still too stunned to respond, your brain scrambling to make sense of the situation. A duel? Over this? All you’d implied was that the heroine wasn’t exactly… battle-hardened. Surely that wasn’t duel-worthy? This man was acting like you’d called his mother a turnip or something worse.
The heroine, ever the epitome of grace, tried to intervene. “There’s no need for—”
But Mr. Broody wasn’t having it. “No! Her honor has been besmirched, and I shall defend it with my life!”
Vil, who had been watching this spectacle unfold with an expression of mild disgust, finally rose from his chair. His cool gaze swept over the table, landing on the second male lead with all the intensity of a snake about to strike.
“If anyone’s honor has been besmirched,” Vil said icily, “it’s mine. And I will not allow my betrothed to be disrespected by the likes of you.”
You blinked up at Vil, stunned. “Wait, you’re going to duel him? Yourself?”
Vil turned his piercing gaze to you, and though his face remained calm, there was a glimmer of something softer in his eyes. “Of course,” he said. “I would never entrust such a matter to anyone else. Besides…” His lips curled into a smirk. “It’s been a while since I’ve put an upstart in his place.”
You gulped, suddenly feeling a bit light-headed. Was it getting hot in here?
The second male lead, apparently unaware of just how screwed he was, smirked triumphantly. “Very well! Let’s settle this once and for all.”
The duel was set for the next day in your estate gardens. You spent the time leading up to it pacing back and forth in your chambers, wringing your hands in nervous anticipation. Somewhere along the way, you’d decided that you needed to do something—anything—to support Vil. So you had spent hours learning how to embroider a handkerchief, your fingers aching from the effort. By the time you finished, you were practically shaking, but you were proud of the result.
You didn’t expect Vil to be touched, let alone notice that you’d worked so hard. But when you handed him the handkerchief just before the duel, his eyes widened in surprise.
“You made this?” he asked, holding it delicately between his fingers, as if it were some priceless artifact.
You nodded sheepishly. “I figured, you know, for luck. Or to rub it in his face after you beat him. Whichever.”
Vil chuckled, his usually sharp expression softening. “Thank you,” he said, his voice low. He then noticed the small needle marks on your hands and frowned. “You hurt yourself.”
You quickly hid your hands behind your back. “It’s nothing! I mean, I’m fine. Just a few pricks here and there.”
Vil’s expression softened even further, and for a moment, he looked almost… touched. He carefully tucked the handkerchief into his coat pocket, a small but genuine smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I’ll be sure to put this to good use.”
You didn’t swoon. Well, maybe just a little.
The duel was, in a word, ridiculous.
The second male lead strutted around like a peacock, his sword gleaming in the afternoon sunlight as he swung it dramatically for the small crowd that had gathered. “Prepare yourself, Schoenheit!” he bellowed, pointing his sword at Vil.
Vil, on the other hand, looked utterly unimpressed. He barely glanced at the man before calmly removing his coat and handing it to you. “Hold this, will you?”
You took the coat with a nod, trying not to pass out from how effortlessly graceful he looked even in the midst of preparing for a fight.
The second male lead lunged forward with all the finesse of a drunken ox, his sword clashing loudly against Vil’s. For a moment, it looked like a real duel—until Vil, with a single fluid motion, disarmed the man in one clean strike. The second male lead’s sword went flying, landing in the bushes several feet away with a pathetic thud.
The crowd gasped, and you had to stifle a laugh. It had barely been five seconds, and the duel was already over.
The second male lead stood there, stunned, his hand frozen mid-air where his sword had been. He blinked once, twice, then turned bright red with embarrassment. “W-what?!”
Vil, ever composed, didn’t even break a sweat. He sheathed his sword and gave the man a cold, dismissive look. “This duel is over. Consider your demand for satisfaction... fulfilled. Now, kindly leave before you embarrass yourself further.”
You bit your lip, trying not to giggle as the second male lead sputtered and tried to come up with an excuse, but it was clear to everyone that he had been utterly humiliated. Even the heroine, standing off to the side, looked like she was struggling to keep a straight face.
As the second male lead stumbled off, defeated, Vil turned to you and offered his hand. “Shall we go?”
You took his hand, still trying to process how easily he had won. “You were amazing,” you blurted out, your heart fluttering as you gazed up at him. “Seriously, that was… wow.”
Vil smirked, the corner of his mouth twitching with amusement. “Of course I was.” He then leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a whisper. “And I expect a proper reward later for defending your honor.”
Your face went beet red, and you were pretty sure you’d forgotten how to breathe.
Yep, you thought as he led you away, his hand still in yours, surviving this trash novel might not be so bad after all.
It happened at one of those overly extravagant banquets the royal court liked to throw. You spotted Neige from across the room, all bright eyes and an innocent smile. He was the epitome of purity, as if his very presence could summon woodland creatures to frolic at his feet.
And you hated him on sight.
You watched in disbelief as everyone around him melted into puddles of admiration. He was practically glowing, and his overly cheerful, squeaky voice was grating on your ears.
The overly saccharine male lead stood there, looking like a cross between a baby bunny and a sentient cupcake. Everything about him screamed "pure-hearted." You nearly gagged on your drink, hoping no one noticed your grimace.
Vil noticed your sour expression and leaned in. “Is something the matter?”
“That’s him, isn’t it?” you said through clenched teeth. “The one I used to follow around?”
Vil followed your gaze, and for a moment, his lips twitched in the faintest show of amusement. “Yes. That’s Neige.”
You snorted. "I can't believe anyone in their right mind would prefer him over you."
Vil's lips curled into a smirk, and he tilted his head slightly. “Oh? Is that so?” His voice was silky, dangerously low, but you could see the flash of satisfaction behind his eyes.
“Yeah,” you muttered, still glaring in Neige's direction. “I mean, look at him. He’s so… good. And not in a ‘wow, what a decent person’ way. It’s like he’s one bad haircut away from sprouting fairy wings and breaking into song.”
Vil let out a low chuckle, right next to you ear, (Lord, have mercy) the sound sending shivers down your spine. “I never thought I’d hear you speak this way about him. You’ve been fawning over Neige for as long as I can remember.”
You rolled your eyes, throwing your hands up. “That was the old me. The dumb me. I mean, have you seen you?” You gestured dramatically toward him. “How could anyone even look at Neige when you exist?”
Vil was quiet for a moment, watching you intently. His violet eyes glinted with something unreadable, but you could tell he was pleased. Oh, he was very pleased.
“You certainly have changed,” he murmured, the smirk never leaving his lips. “And I must admit, I find it rather… delightful.”
Before you could respond, a very familiar voice rang out from behind you. “Ah! What a beautiful reunion this is! A moment filled with l’amour, sparkling like the stars in the sky!”
You nearly jumped out of your skin as Rook Hunt appeared seemingly out of thin air, his hands dramatically clasped together as he beamed at you both. “I have seen many couples in my lifetime, but none quite so radiant as you two.”
You blinked, trying to recover from his sudden appearance. “Rook… were you just… hiding in the curtains again?”
Rook, ever the dramatist, placed a hand on his heart and smiled wistfully. “Ah, but how could I stay away when the beauty of your love draws me in like a moth to a flame?”
Vil raised an eyebrow. “Rook, you’re not helping.”
“Non, non, mon ami,” Rook insisted, twirling in place with a flourish. “I am merely basking in the glow of what is surely a love for the ages! The way your eyes meet, the subtle tension in the air—it is magnifique!”
You sighed, shaking your head, though you couldn’t help but chuckle at Rook’s antics. Meanwhile, from the other side of the ballroom, Epel was watching the scene unfold with barely concealed amusement. He caught your eye and shot you a grin, raising his glass as if to say, Good luck with this.
But the fun wasn’t over. Oh no. Neige, the human embodiment of a children’s choir, started making his way toward you. As he approached, his bright eyes locked on yours, his smile so innocent and wide that you almost felt bad for what you were about to do.
Almost.
“Good evening!” Neige greeted you, his voice as sweet as sugar. “I don’t believe we’ve had the chance to properly meet.”
You stared at him for a moment, unimpressed. “Yeah, uh-huh.”
Neige blinked, clearly taken aback by your lack of enthusiasm. He probably wasn’t used to people not immediately falling at his feet. “It’s truly wonderful to meet you! I’ve heard so much about you.”
You squinted at him. “Mm-hmm.”
Vil, standing beside you, looked positively elated. You could practically feel the smug energy radiating off of him. He wasn’t even hiding his smile anymore.
Neige continued, oblivious to your complete disinterest. “I’m so glad we’ll have the chance to spend time together in the coming months! I hope we can—”
“Yeah, no, I’m good,” you interrupted, turning away and pointedly ignoring his very existence.
Neige blinked again, looking like a lost puppy. You almost felt a little bad. Almost.
Vil, on the other hand, looked like Christmas had come early. His arm slipped around your waist, his touch gentle. “I must say,” he murmured into your ear, his voice laced with amusement, “I’ve never enjoyed one of these balls quite so much.”
Yup, maybe this novel isn't that trashy after all?
Everytime you think this novel might not be that bad, it manages to prove you wrong.
The day had finally arrived: the Founding Day Ball. The event to end all events, where the kingdom’s most distinguished were honored in a grand ceremony. And, of course, at the top of the list of honorees was Vil, who might as well have been carved into the actual history of the kingdom itself with how perfect he was.
As his partner for the evening, you were dressed to the nines, dripping in elegance you didn’t even know you were capable of. When you caught your reflection in one of the massive ballroom mirrors, you had to do a double-take.
"Who is that?" you whispered, eyes wide. "Oh. It’s me."
Honestly, if there was a chance of impressing anyone here, you were impressed with yourself.
The ceremony went as expected. Vil was awarded the highest honors, his name met with thunderous applause as he gave a speech that left the crowd swooning. You found yourself half-clapping, half-gawking, wondering how this man kept getting more perfect. Like, was he actually human?
But as the evening progressed, the dreaded scene you despised the most crept into the evening, like a bad smell at a gourmet dinner.
After the ceremony, it was time for the opening dance. Naturally, Vil, being the epitome of grace and nobility, was the prime candidate to lead it. You were fully expecting him to ask you, but before he could even turn in your direction, the heroine — yes, that heroine — appeared out of nowhere, like she was materializing straight from the pages of the worst romance novel ever written.
“Vil,” she said in a voice that sounded like honey and broken promises, “I trust you’ll grant me the honor of the first dance.”
You blinked. *Excuse me?*
She said it so confidently, as if it were a foregone conclusion, like she was used to the world revolving around her whims. It was the equivalent of someone just cutting the line in front of you at the store and expecting applause for their audacity.
Vil, for his part, didn’t even flinch. His expression was as cool and elegant as ever, but you could see a flicker of amusement in his eyes.
“I’m afraid,” he said, voice smooth and polite, “I already have a partner for the first dance.”
The heroine’s face froze in a way that almost made you choke on your own breath. “W-What?” She blinked rapidly, as if her brain couldn’t process the fact that someone had just told her no.
You, too, were a little stunned, for a seperate. Was she actually planning on throwing a tantrum right now? In public? At a literal state function?
“B-But you always dance with me,” she stammered, voice rising in disbelief, her face turning an alarming shade of pink. “I’m supposed to be your first dance!”
You physically had to stop yourself from snorting. Always? He has never even looked at her for longer than five seconds! You couldn't recall a single time Vil had given her anything beyond basic pleasantries. The only reason she’d be in his line of sight was because she was constantly putting herself there.
Vil’s lips twitched slightly, though whether it was out of irritation or amusement, you couldn’t tell. “I don’t recall ever dancing with you,” he said calmly, as though she were discussing someone else entirely.
The heroine blinked, clearly taken aback. “W-What?”
Vil’s voice dropped to an even icier tone, leaving no room for misunderstanding. “In fact, I dislike the very idea of it.”
The heroine made a strangled sound behind you, like a baby bird trying to scream.
You looked around the room, half-expecting hidden cameras to pop out, because this had to be a prank. Who acts like this?!
And as you floated onto the dance floor with Vil, you couldn’t help but marvel at the absolute insufferable nature of the scene you’d just witnessed. This was, without a doubt, the moment that solidified your hatred for the trash-tier novel world you’d been trapped in. People like her actually existed here?
Behind you, the heroine stomped her foot like a petulant child, completely ignored by the crowd. It would’ve been almost sad if it wasn’t so ridiculous.
And as you twirled under the chandeliers, feeling Vil’s warmth beside you and the heroine’s tantrum echoing faintly in the background, one thing became crystal clear:
This novel may have been trash, but at least you were the one dancing with the prince of perfection.
It hit you like a ton of bricks one day—completely out of nowhere. You had been sitting in Vil’s study, watching him work. He was meticulously going over some documents, his brow furrowed in concentration, his golden hair falling perfectly in place despite him having been there for hours. You were supposed to be reading through some kingdom protocol book, but instead, your gaze kept drifting over to him.
He’s so… beautiful.
You blinked, the thought suddenly snapping you out of whatever trance you’d fallen into.
Wait…
Your eyes widened. Oh no. Oh no no no no no.
You slammed the book shut, startling Vil from his work as you stood up abruptly. “I-I need some air.”
Vil raised an elegant eyebrow, clearly amused by your sudden panic. “Something the matter?”
“No! Nothing’s the matter!” you said, far too quickly, your voice an octave higher than usual. You stumbled over your chair in your haste to get out of the room, nearly tripping on your own feet. “I just—need to—um—fresh air, yes, exactly!”
Before Vil could say anything else, you bolted from the study and down the hall, your heart racing as though you’d just run a marathon. You darted into the nearest empty room and pressed your back against the door, your mind swirling with confusion.
Am I falling for him?
You slapped a hand over your mouth, horrified by the realization. “No… no, this isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. I’m in love with a character from this awful, brain-numbing novel?”
You slumped against the door, groaning as the full weight of the situation sank in. How could this happen? How could my first true love— you gagged at the phrase —be from this trash novel?
There was no escaping it now. The butterflies in your stomach every time Vil looked your way, the way your heart skipped a beat whenever he smiled, the fact that you wanted nothing more than to be close to him… it was all painfully obvious.
You buried your face in your hands. “I’m going to die. I’m going to die of embarrassment in this ridiculous world.”
And the worst part? It wasn’t even one of the good isekai novels. You’d somehow gotten stuck in what could be considered objectively the worst one, and yet here you were, head over heels for a character who—against all odds—turned out to be the most amazing person you’d ever met.
“Oh god,” you muttered to yourself, sliding down to the floor, your head falling back against the door with a thud. “I'm in love with Vil. I’m doomed. Completely doomed.”
“Mon Dieu! What a revelation!” a voice suddenly rang out from the shadows.
You yelped, whipping around to see none other than Rook Hunt—perched in the corner of the room like some kind of overly dramatic bird of prey, his hat casting a mysterious shadow over his eyes. His entire being radiated excitement, and you swore you saw actual sparkles in the air around him.
“Rook?! How long have you been there?!”
“Long enough, my dear,” he said, voice hushed with reverence, as though you had just confessed your deepest, most tragic secret. “Ah, love! The torment, the longing! The exquisite despair you must be feeling!” He took a step forward, eyes gleaming with unbridled enthusiasm. “But fear not, mon ami, for I, Rook Hunt, shall be your faithful cupid! Together, we shall make Vil see the truth of your affections!”
You blinked, stunned. “Uh… I’m not sure that’s—"
“Ah, but you must!" Rook declared, swooping down to kneel dramatically before you. “Love, once realized, must be pursued with all one’s passion and determination! Do not let this opportunity slip through your fingers like sand in the wind! I shall assist you!”
You opened your mouth to protest, but the sheer intensity of his expression made you falter. Rook was looking at you like this was the most important mission of his life.
Honestly, what did you have to lose at this point?
With a deep, exhausted sigh, you muttered, “Fine. Fine! I’ll do it. Help me, Rook.”
Rook’s grin stretched so wide it was borderline terrifying. “Excellent! This will be an adventure for the ages!” Before you could even process what you’d agreed to, Rook leaped to his feet and clapped his hands together. “But we will need more help. A certain someone with a youthful spirit and just enough mischievousness to add that je ne sais quoi to our plans.”
Oh no.
Cue Epel.
“What the hell are you ropin’ me into?” Epel grumbled as Rook dragged him into your predicament not five minutes later.
“I have volunteered you for a most noble cause, mon petit pomme,” Rook said, not even breaking stride as he swept Epel into the room. “Our dear friend here is head over heels for our Vil, and we are going to help them win his heart”
Epel paused, blinking at you in disbelief. “Wait, Vil? That Vil?” He gestured vaguely in the direction of where Vil’s office was.
“Yes, that Vil,” you said flatly, already regretting every life decision that had led you to this point.
Epel gave you a dubious look. “And you agreed to let Rook help you?”
You groaned, dragging a hand over your face. “Don’t remind me.”
“Alright, fine. I’m in.” Epel shrugged, a wicked grin creeping onto his face. “If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna do it big.”
Thus began the most absurd, over-the-top, and borderline catastrophic schemes in an attempt to prove your love to Vil Schoenheit.
It started innocently enough. You wanted to make Vil his favorite tea. Simple, right? But Rook insisted that it couldn’t just be any tea. No, it had to be presented with an air of mystery and allure.
“Bring it to him while reciting a sonnet of devotion!” Rook suggested. “Declare your admiration with each step, so that he understands the depth of your feelings!”
“I’m not reciting a sonnet, Rook.”
Epel, on the other hand, was far more pragmatic. “Or you could just… write him a note and leave it with the tea?”
That seemed normal. Rational. You’d take Epel’s advice. So, you snuck into Vil’s room, left the tea and a note on his desk, and slipped out before anyone noticed.
The next morning, Vil eyed you suspiciously over breakfast. “Did you leave tea in my study last night?”
You nodded, trying to play it cool. “Yeah, I thought you’d appreciate it.”
Vil’s eyes narrowed, but you swore you saw the corner of his lips twitch into the faintest smile. “I see. How thoughtful.”
Then came Operation: Compliment Vil at Every Opportunity.
Rook, of course, insisted you be poetic. “Tell him his beauty rivals the very stars in the sky!”
“I’m not saying that.”
Epel chimed in with a much more straightforward approach: “Just tell him his hair looks nice. It’s always nice.”
But Rook’s enthusiasm was contagious, and before you knew it, you found yourself blurting out, “Your radiance is blinding today, Vil! Truly, I must shield my eyes from such ethereal beauty!”
Vil, who had been in the middle of inspecting his reflection, froze. His eyes darted to you, and he gave you a strange look.
“Are you… feeling alright? Did you perhaps get bitten by a stray Rook?”
You shook your head vigorously, your face heating up from how ridiculous you sounded. “Totally fine! Just… appreciating your beauty! Yep. Normal stuff.”
Vil didn’t say anything, but you could see a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. He looked amused—and maybe a little pleased—but more than anything, he seemed confused.
At least he didn’t think you’d lost your mind. Yet.
You were convinced this novel had it out for you from the beginning, but this? This was a new low. The memory loss trope, the final attempt to make your life as ridiculous as possible, had arrived—right on schedule.
You knew how it was supposed to go. You’d hit your head (a complete accident, obviously), wake up with no memory of Vil, and immediately make the worst decisions possible, like falling for that knockoff prince, Neige. Cue dramatic heartbreak, public humiliation, and eventual abandonment. Classic trashy novel shenanigans.
But apparently, the universe—or whatever cosmic force was in charge of your suffering—had decided to take a vacation after all the work it had been putting in. Because when you opened your eyes and saw Vil leaning over you, worry etched into his perfect face, instead of forgetting him, you were… immediately smitten?
What?
And it didn’t stop there. When he took your hand in his, gently kissing your knuckles in that heartbreakingly tender way, it was like a light switch flipped. Your memories came rushing back, completely bypassing the whole convoluted plot about amnesia and bad decisions.
Because of course in this disaster of a novel, the solution to everything was true love's kiss. The most overdone, eye-rolling cliché in the history of romance, and yet here you were, living through it.
You almost laughed out loud. Of all the tropes this novel had thrown at you—evil fiancées, jealous heroines, duels for honor—this had to be the funniest. It was as if the universe had taken one look at your situation and said, “You know what? Let’s skip the suffering and go straight to the ridiculous happy ending.”
True love’s kiss. Really. This novel is mocking me at this point, you thought, fighting the urge to scream. But hey, at least you didn’t have to deal with more drama. And as Vil’s concerned gaze softened into a relieved smile, you couldn’t help but think that, maybe, this was one trope you didn’t mind after all.
You'd almost given up on confessing. Maybe you'll just live like this forever, your fate was sealed. The novel clearly doesn't want you to tell him how you feel.
But there was another ball (because apparently that's the only place that nobility had be at in this novel. What was this? the 108th ball of the year?) You'd decided that you'll ask him for a stroll under the moonlight and just tell him.
Of course, the novel is not on your side. What's new?
The ball was going well—well, for you and Vil, anyway. You’d just finished dancing, and he looked absolutely stunning, as usual. You were basking in the afterglow of all the whispered praise and envious stares. That is, until you overheard someone bad-mouthing Vil.
Of course, it had to be the heroine’s best friend, who was apparently using this grand occasion to air her grievances.
“I just don’t understand why Vil is always so cold to her,” she whined, loud enough for everyone within a three-mile radius to hear. “She’s the saintess! She deserves kindness and adoration, not disdain.”
Cue the dramatic gasps from the crowd. Ah, here we go.
You shot Vil a look, but he merely shrugged, rolling his eyes. He clearly didn’t want to start any trouble. But you? Oh, you were about to flip the table on these idiots.
“Excuse me,” you began, stepping forward, the crowd parting like the Red Sea as you made your way over. “I couldn’t help but overhear your incredibly loud complaints about my fiancé.”
The heroine’s best friend froze, clearly not expecting you to get involved. You smiled sweetly, but your eyes were throwing daggers.
“Let me set the record straight. Vil isn’t cold to her because she’s the ‘saintess,’” you air-quoted the title, “He’s cold to her because she’s an insufferable brat who’s so used to getting her way that she throws a tantrum every time someone says ‘no.’”
More gasps from the crowd. You could see Neige stiffening across the ballroom, already sensing where this was going. But there was no stopping you now.
“And don’t get me started on you,” you pointed at the best friend, your tone dripping with sarcasm. “You’re out here defending her honor like you’re some knight in shining armor when, let’s be real, you’re just as bad. You fawn over her like a lost puppy, expecting her to shower you with praise when all you do is enable her delusions.”
Vil, somewhere behind you, was probably trying not to laugh. But you weren't done.
“And as for your precious Neige over there?” you tilted your head toward the prince-wannabe, who was looking more and more uncomfortable by the second. “He’s not some perfect angel either. He’s just a guy with an unsettling talent for showing up at the most convenient times, with that same doe-eyed, clueless expression, making everyone feel sorry for him.”
You didn’t stop at Neige.
"And as for you," you said, spinning toward the brooding Duke of the North, the infamous second male lead, who had been leaning against a pillar, looking every bit the tall, tormented, handsome cliché. “You’re not fooling anyone either. You’re the king of melodramatic entrances. Always lurking in the shadows, trying to look mysterious, but really, you’re just sulking because no one’s paying attention to you.”
“Oh, I’m sorry—are you brooding? Again? Let me guess, you’re thinking about some dark secret that you’ll drop at the most inconvenient moment to make things worse for everyone, right?” You mimicked his deep, serious voice. “‘It’s the burden I must bear… alone.’” You threw your head back in mock agony, hands dramatically placed on your chest.
He straightened up, clearly offended, but you didn’t give him the chance to speak.
“And stop pretending like you’re some tragic hero,” you added, lowering your voice with a sharp edge. “You’re just a guy with commitment issues who sacrifices himself because you can’t handle the fact that the heroine doesn’t want you. Let it go.”
There was dead silence. You half-expected a chandelier to drop just for the dramatic effect. Even Vil had to look away for a moment, probably to hide the fact that he in tears, about to burst out laughing.
The heroine was slack-jawed, her best friend looked like she wanted to melt into the floor, and Neige… well, Neige just looked confused. As always.
Satisfied, you dusted off your hands and turned back to Vil, who was looking at you with a mixture of shock and awe, as if he’d just witnessed some divine intervention.
You let out a satisfied huff and turned to leave. "Come on, Vil, I can't stand to be in the same room as these second-rate characters any longer, let's bounce"
Once outside, you saw Vil was still recovering, a smirk pulling at his lips. “I think you may have traumatized half the ballroom.”
“Good,” you huffed, crossing your arms. “They deserved it. Especially that brooding Duke. ‘I sacrifice myself for the greater good.’ Ugh, give me a break.”
Vil chuckled, sliding his arm around your waist. "Still, you didn’t have to go to such lengths for me."
You stopped in your tracks, spun around, and looked him dead in the eye. “Of course I did! I love you, Vil. I couldn’t just sit there and let them trash you like that.”
The moment the words left your mouth, you froze. Oh. Well. There it was.
Vil’s eyes widened, a rare, unguarded expression crossing his face. For a moment, he just stood there, taking in your words. Then, without a word, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you, soft but sure, like he’d been waiting for this moment as much as you had.
When he pulled back, his smile was the softest you’d ever seen. “You love me,” he repeated, almost like he couldn’t believe it.
You nodded, a bit breathless from both the confession and the kiss. “Yes, Vil. I love you. Even with all your ridiculously high standards and obsession with skincare.”
Vil laughed, the sound warm and genuine. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that.”
Vil pulled back slightly, his hands still resting on your waist, and asked with a quiet, almost teasing tone, "Well then, since you love me so much... should we get married?"
You blinked, your brain taking a second to catch up. "Wait—what? Married? Like, right now?" You stared at him, heart racing, before suddenly, an idea lit up your face like a firework. “Oh my god, yes! Let’s do it. Let’s get married ASAP. Like, today. Right now. Do we even need a ceremony? We can find an officiant and—boom—done. Just tell me where to sign!”
Vil’s eyes widened, taken aback by your sudden enthusiasm. “Are you… serious?”
You grabbed his hand, absolutely buzzing with energy. “Of course, I’m serious! Why wait? This dumbass universe keeps throwing garbage tropes at us, and honestly? Getting married right now is the perfect way to flip the script! Take that, fate!"
Before Vil could respond, an overly excited voice erupted from behind a nearby pillar. “Oh là là! Mon cœur can hardly handle this romance!” Rook leaped out from the shadows, practically sparkling with joy, as if he had been waiting for this very moment all his life. "The passion! The declaration of love! And now, a spontaneous wedding? Magnifique!”
“Rook!?” Vil’s voice was a mix of amusement and exasperation. “Have you been spying on us?”
“Spying?” Rook gasped dramatically, placing a hand on his chest. “Non, non, Vil! I was merely ensuring your well-being as any devoted friend would!” He gave a wink, clearly pleased with his role as an unintended audience.
“Me too!” Epel poked his head out from behind another pillar, grinning sheepishly. “I mean, who’d wanna miss out on somethin’ like this? Y’all are gettin’ married!”
Vil let out a long, tired sigh, but you could see the faintest smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I can’t believe this is happening,” he muttered.
“Oh, it’s happening,” you said, grabbing his arm again and dragging him forward. “We’re doing this, and it’s going to be the best wedding in this entire stupid book, Rook, Epel, you’re both invited. Wait, scratch that, you’re both in the wedding party now!”
“C’est incroyable!” Rook twirled dramatically, hands clasped together, already imagining his outfit for the occasion. “I shall be the most loyal and stylish groomsman! Oh, l’amour!”
“And I get to wear somethin’ fancy, right?” Epel asked, already envisioning something much cooler than his usual attire.
Vil was now fully grinning, his initial surprise turning into genuine amusement as he looked at you with sparkling eyes. “You really are something else.”
“Yeah, and now I’m gonna be your something else forever.” You beamed up at him, still holding onto his hand like you might drag him to the altar yourself right now.
“Well then,” Vil sighed, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Let’s get married.”
Before you could even start plotting where to drag Vil to find someone to officiate, Rook suddenly gasped, clasping his hands together dramatically. "Mon dieu! How could I forget? I am more than prepared for this moment!"
You and Vil exchanged puzzled looks. "What are you talking about, Rook?" Vil asked, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow.
Rook grinned, remviong his hat and and dramatically pulling out a folded piece of parchment. "Behold!" he announced, waving the paper with a flourish. "A certified license to officiate weddings. I took the liberty of acquiring it long ago, knowing that one day I’d be the one to unite you and your beloved. C’est le destin!"
“You’re… licensed?” Vil blinked, looking at Rook like he had officially lost it. "And you're walking around with the license in your hat?"
Rook nodded with a dazzling smile. “Why yes, I’ve been preparing for this glorious day! Every flower petal, every gust of wind, every glance of love I’ve witnessed between you both has been leading to this fated moment!” He struck a pose, the parchment still dramatically held aloft.
You stared at him, then back at Vil. "Okay, I know this is ridiculous, but honestly? This is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard, and I kind of love it. Let's just let him do it."
Vil put a hand to his forehead, trying to suppress a chuckle. "Are we really doing this?"
“Yes!” you declared, squeezing Vil's hand. “If we’re going full chaos, we’re going all the way. Rook, officiate the hell out of this wedding!”
Epel, watching the entire spectacle, burst into laughter. “Only in this house, I swear…”
Rook practically sparkled with joy, bouncing on his feet. “Oh là là, it will be my greatest honor! I’ve been rehearsing my officiating speech in front of the mirror for months”
“Months?” Vil repeated, a mix of disbelief and exasperation in his tone.
“Mais oui! Every day, I’d wake up and say, ‘Today could be the day!’” Rook sighed dramatically, already tearing up. “And here we are. It’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of. Now, shall we begin? I have the vows prepared, unless you have your own?”
You leaned into Vil, barely holding back laughter. “I have zero regrets about this. Absolutely zero.”
Vil sighed again but couldn’t stop smiling. “Only you could make something this absurd seem perfect.”
Series Masterlist ; Masterlist
Okay, this became way longer than I expected it to be but to be fair, i was on an extreme caffeine high and i'd just finished an assignment that had been beating my ass
#Vil x reader#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twst x reader#au: nobility#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#trash novel chronicles#fem reader
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Jason todd who...
Who calls your office with a dying voice, sneezing and whining about how he's sick but can "try" to be fine alone at home. Your boss dismisses you because Jason's voice certainly sounds like someone who needs to be hospitalized.
So when you get home, Jason is comfortably lying on the bed in the shared room, reading one of his favorite books.
"Jay!" You say, running over to him and placing your hand on his forehead. He's at his normal temperature, not even at his normal temperature, the well changed things that should be normal for a human being. The thing is… your boyfriend is a normal color, tanned even, his eyes bright blue, his nose without any sign of redness. You've seen Jason sick, and he doesn't look like this at all.
"Jason?"
"Baby, hi," he says, having the audacity to fake a cough.
"Are you sick?"
When he opens his mouth, you can see the hint of a smile and you know what kind of illness he's going to say he's suffering from.
"Don't you dare say that."
He lets out a hoarse, loud laugh that hits right at your heart and gets in the way of your mission to stay angry. His large hands abandon the book and hold your waist, as he buries his face in your stomach, lightly lifting the hem of your shirt. blouse, his breath against your skin doesn't help your mission to stay irritated either.
"Sorry, honey. But it's not a crime to pretend to be sick, is it?" He says, a smile on his face that makes him look younger, even like a naughty boy who did something hidden from his parents. It makes him adorable, it softens his scars and makes his blue eyes sparkle. "What are you going to do? Call Red Hood to punish me?
It's a hard task to stay mad at your boyfriend.
"Jason Todd…" You start, but you can feel the smile appearing on the corner of your lips. Because months ago Jason would never do this, would never have the stupid courage to do whatever it took to stay by your side. And he looks so ridiculously happy with his ideia that it makes you equally happy, Jason looks alive when he smiles like that, his dimples appearing and you use all your strength not to kiss him.
He pulls you to the bed, curling up against you as if he physically depended on it, peppering kisses on your face.
"I got a break from Gotham today and I needed my favorite person by my side."
You let out a moan, he knows very well how to make you break. Adorable idiot with puppy dog eyes. You let him wrap you in his arms, letting out a sigh of relief. giving up. It was too good to be hugged and kissed by Jason to be mad.
"When you're on Patrol, I'll call and say the house is on fire."
"I'll come running right away."
It was good to be loved.
I have a lot of drafts about Jason Todd lol, finally having the courage to post. I'm opening a box if you want to make requests, I just love Jason Todd so much
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Asexual Jason Todd is actually the secret weapon of Batman.
Let me explain.
Every major female foes of the Bat used their sex appeal at one moment to distract the police, Arkham guards...
But, imagine Ivy increasing again and again and again the power of her pollen and Red Hood does not react. Maybe sneezing.
Circea trying to play whith his mind and
"Wtf are you doing ? Stop moving your hands like that."
Every teen heros getting caught lurking on Kori or Power Girl and he doesn't understand why those idiots can't start the meeting. Wtf does "My eyes are here" even mean.
Evil foreigner billionaire sending a spy to seduce the oldest boy in the family still in Gotham to steal informations on WayneTech and after a party of dancing and talking, with innuendos bigger than his arms, the dude takes back the girl in his plaza room to be sure she's safe and fall asleep on the floor.
Meanwhile the spy doesn't know if she lost her talents of if Jason has a really strong mind.
If Jason was Batman from the start, first encounter with catwoman, take 1 :
"What arrre you going to do, arrrest me ?
- Yes.
- Wait, what ?"
Jason going to college and always being invited to girls night when they're going to bars or nightclubs because they have a 6'6 werewolf with them to dissuaded the other guys and they feel secure because they can't recall one time he tried something that made them uncomfortable, or just something in fact.
Never hit on a girl, loves litterature, takes great care of his body...Jason Todd is the only gothamite unaware he's a gay icone.
#batman#batfamily#batfam#jason todd#batman headcanon#red hood#catwoman#selina kyle#asexual jason todd#ace Jason Todd#poison ivy#koriand'r#starfire#power girl#ace#asexual#asexuality#dc comics
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[Simon got a flu]
Yes, Simon, who is always proud of his immune system and strong-built body, got a damn flu.
1.
You watch him take a tissue and sneeze the 10000 times today.
”‘m alright.” He mumbles when he notices you knit your eyebrows and staring at him.
“yeah yeah you’re alright huh?” you poke his forehead “Look how your skin reddened and scraped below your nose.”
“not a big deal.”
He takes another tissue to blow his nose, but he frowns when the tissue touches his skin doesn’t escape your attention, so you go take an ointment from the medkit and come back to his side.
“sit still, okay?” you command before you start smearing it on his skin.
you can feel his eyes lock on your face the whole time, so when you finish, you don’t let go of his face.
“Anything on my face, Si?”
you watch his eyelashes flutter, and those beautiful chocolate eyes soften, without his usual tension in them.
“jus’ think yer beautiful,” Simon responds softly.
“I know.” You giggled.
“How about me?”
“You are...” You feign that you are contemplating, before shoving him playfully “You’re an idiot, go get some sleep now, handsome.”
2.
You can’t move even an inch.
Simon insists on having you sleep with him, or he won’t stay in bed obediently and have the rest he needs.
His arms locked tightly around your waist, his head buried in your chest, and you could feel his hot breath fanning on your skin.
You wriggle out of his embrace as softly as you can, you really need to go to the bathroom now, and you turn around and have a glimpse of Simon, seeming still asleep. Nice.
After using the toilet, You wash your hands before you open the door, what you don’t expect is bumping into a brick of the wall, well, a brick of man.
“Jesus, Simon.” you yelp “Why do you get up?”
“I thought’ you’re gone...” His voice is still hoarse from the slumber, but you can sense the fear inside.
“I'm here, baby, no one will take me away from you, okay?”
Taking his hand in yours, you lead him back to the shared bed.
“now rest, I will always be at your side.” you place a kiss on the bridge of his nose.
“Hmmm...”
With a long groan, he shoves his face back into your chest, arms snaking and caging you in his hug again.
After a few minutes, his breaths become steady again, indicating he’s back to dreamworld.
The anxious and unsafe emotion on his face when you open the bathroom door has long gone, he wore a face mask to prevent you from getting infected too, but you swear his mouth is slightly agape under the cover, the thought makes you grin and chuckle in your mind.
Returning his hug by wrapping your arms around his shoulder, you drift into your dream.
3.
The chirping of birds outside the window awakes Simon.
The headache and running nose seem to disappear after a proper rest, but he notices you aren’t beside him, so he quickly gets up from the bed, only to find you cradling a box of tissue, glaring at him with dead eyes while a pile of used tissue is beside you.
Looks like it’s his turn to take care of you today.
#cod imagine#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost x reader#simon riley imagine#cod x reader#cod x you#ghost x you
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Warriors was trapped. He twisted and wiggled to test the limits of his captivity. It became immediately clear that his captors had no plans on letting him move at all or consider escape. He was beginning to lose feeling to his legs. His back ached. He could move his hands but couldn’t reach out or grab anything.
With a sigh, Warriors accepted defeat and rested his head back on the wall. “Who knew he was such a lightweight?”
Twilight snickered and sat on the edge of the bed beside Warriors. A flush from Telma’s whiskey still lit his cheeks, and his eyes looked a tad too bright. “I think he forgot to eat dinner. Only a fool drinks Telma’s good stuff on an empty stomach.”
Forgot to eat…? Warriors scowled at the snoring man sprawled across his chest. Time’s head rested over his heart, rising in time with Warrior’s breaths. He stretched over Warriors like a large, too-warm blanket. He smelled like Telma’s bar, and it made Warriors want to sneeze.
He also had his arms wrapped around Warriors like he was a stuffed animal. Warriors wiggled a bit, testing again, but Time’s grip was unrelenting.
“The idiot,” Warriors grumbled. Ah, what the hell. He was trapped, anyway, and it wasn’t like Twilight hadn’t seen it before. He started stroking Time’s back like he was one of Twilight’s cats. Time sighed happily, the ass. “I told him to eat. What did he do with his plate?”
“I think some cuccos ate it,” Twilight admitted. “There was a bunch of them, and Sky wasn’t there to shoo them away.”
Warriors stared at Twilight. “Cuccos. I… Never mind. So he drank on an empty stomach?”
“Yep,” Twilight drawled. “I’ll get some water and a potion for him. He’s gonna feel awful in the morning.”
Warriors huffed. “He deserves it.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Twilight smiled at them like he was looking at a pile of puppies. If Time didn’t have Warriors so thoroughly trapped, he would hit his brother. “I’m not used to seein’ him like this, that’s all?”
Warriors scoffed. He continued petting Time, but it wasn’t like Time or Twilight was commenting. “What? Drunk and stupid?” In the morning, pre-potion, he and Time were going to have words about skipping dinner. It might even be included in his next letter to Malon.
“No. Cute.”
That caught Warriors off guard, but only for a moment. He rolled his eyes. Time mumbled something and nuzzled into Warriors’s chest. Warriors shook his head and rested his hand on the back of Time’s head, holding him close. “I told you so.”
“Yeah, but you also told me that he bites. I don’t believe that.”
Warriors raised an eyebrow at him. He had enough freedom in his right arm to hold it above Time’s body and show his wrist to Twilight. Twilight leaned forward and squinted. “Wait. Is that…?”
“Yep.”
“Did Time?”
“Yep.”
“...those are such tiny teeth marks!”
“He was a small thing then,” Warriors agreed. He resumed stroking Time’s back. Time relaxed even more into him. It felt like he gained another twenty pounds doing so. Warriors bravely hid a wheeze. “If you don’t believe me, Wind had some pictures saved from the war.” There was no way Wind would have deleted them. Not when they were good for sentiment and blackmail.
Twilight’s mouth parted slightly. His eyes shone. “Pictures? Of a baby Time?”
“Yep.”
“Oh, by the Spirits…”
Time mumbled something again and tightened his grip on Warriors. Warriors squeaked. “Ack! Twilight. My brother. I need a favor of you.”
“Help getting free?”
“What? No. When you bring Time his potion…” Warriors wiggled again. Yep. He had definitely lost feeling in at least one foot. “Bring me one, too, okay? By morning, I’ll need it.”
Twilight cackled but didn’t leave. Not yet. Warriors couldn’t blame him. Time was adorable like this.Even drooling on Warriors’s chest like he was, the little brat!
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SSR Fellow Honest - Playful Dress Vignette
"My stars, a grave insult!"
[Scalding Sands – Silk City]
Fellow: Now, ladies and gentlemen!
Fellow: What you are about to see here is a one-of-a-kind wonder.
Fellow: This is truly a genuinely invaluable show you are about to witness.
[rabble, rabble]
Fellow: Nice, them people're finally startin' to gather…!
Fellow: If you're interested in what I have to show, please, drop a few madol in this can over here. Any amount is fine~!
Fellow: And now, feast your eyes…
Fellow: On this… A one-of-a-kind puppet that can walk on its own without strings!
Fellow: What do you think, Mister? Madam? Doesn't it look so life-like? Amazing, is it not!?
Fellow: This exquisite beastman doll is the only one of its kind.
Fellow: You all are fortunate indeed to see such a fantastical sight. If your interest was piqued, I implore you to leave a token of appreciation…
[rabble, rabble]
Fellow: …Eh? It's not a puppet? A normal living being?
Fellow: HOW RUDE! WHAT EVIDENCE HAVE YOU FOR YOUR ACCUSATION!?
Fellow: Please, look carefully. It might be able to move without strings, but even if I poke or tickle it, it won't even cry out or laugh.
Fellow: It is a beautifully crafted puppet. Yes, that's right, there can be no question.
[Gidel nods]
Fellow: Ah, stop, Gidel!
Fellow: …It moved? Oh no, it must have just been a trick of the eye.
Fellow: Or, are you perhaps trying to insinuate that I, Fellow Honest, am a liar?
Fellow: You didn't mean it…? Ahhh, oh, but you've hurt my feelings so~!
Fellow: I've been known as Honest John, a man of integrity, pure and innocent, and yet you would call me a liar…
Fellow: I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SUFFER SUCH A DAY! MY STARS, A GRAVE INSULT!
Fellow: Hey now, Mister. Since you've damaged my pride like this, feels like you should provide me with a show of good faith and…
Gidel: [sneeze]
Fellow: AH!!
Fellow: U-Uhh… Ladies and gentlemen, I… Hm? You want your money and time back? …No need to get so angry… Hahaha…
Fellow: …Crap.
Fellow: RUN, GIDEL!!
Fellow: Haah… Pant, pant… Did we lose them?
Fellow: …YOU NITWIT! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE RIGHT THEN TO SNEEZE!?
Fellow: Just a little longer and we woulda gotten something extra on top of their spectator fees!
Gidel: …
Fellow: Ugh, whatever. ...All we got to show for that in the end was just a little bit of spare change…
Fellow: …And whatever small bits and bobs of jewelry they had on them.
Fellow: I stealthily swiped them with my magic while those idiots were all focused on you, but there's not much here. Shame.
Fellow: This dump ain't worth staying in. Time to move on, Gidel! Fwahaha!
[Fairest City – Crystal Galleria]
Fellow: Look carefully, fair people! What I have here is a magestone. However, this is no ordinary magestone.
Fellow: The date: 1000 years ago; the place: the depths leagues below the Coral Sea. This magestone was said to be sought even by the Great Seven!
Fellow: It may look like an ordinary pebble. So, what makes this an extraordinary find? Once you hear what I have to say, you'll never recover from the shock!
Fellow: Listen and be amazed! This is a miraculous stone where whosoever holds it becomes capable of using magic!
Gidel: ! [honks horn]
Fellow: For you, ladies and gentlemen, I risked life and limb searching high and low for this in the most secluded southern regions.
Fellow: There is only one of these gemstones in existence. We'll start the bidding at 50,000 madol (500 Thaumarks)! Come, come, all who are interested, please raise up a hand!
[silence]
Fellow: …Huh, no one wants to raise a hand? What, do I have before me a gaggle of broke spectators?
Fellow: Heh, gutless, all of you. Ah, but damn it all! Is there not a single one among you with the courage to reach out and grasp the miracle laid out before you!?
Fellow: With icy demeanors like that, even my fleas will laugh at me.
Fellow: …I'm sure you all are simply thinking there's no way you could trust vagabonds like us, isn't that right?
Fellow: You think I'm selling you a fake? You think you'll be wasting your money?
Fellow: Aah, that's no good, my dear fellows! If you mistrust me so fervently, it's not as fun...
Fellow: Don't worry. If you believe in what I tell you, there's nothing for you to be afraid of.
Fellow: COME ON TO THE THEATER!
Fellow: LIFE IS FUN
Fellow: …Ah, there we go, that was quick. 80,000 madol from the gent over there! And 100,000 madol from the one over here!
Fellow: A good call, everyone! With such wise decision-making skills, you all have a future scholar inside you!
Fellow: Fwahahaha! Look at 'em idiots believing at whatever stupid story I throw their way!
Fellow: A magestone that'll give you the ability to use magic~? If something like that really existed, I'd've used it myself.
Fellow: Even the guys who were the most skeptical leapt at the chance once I used my Unique Magic. I sure enjoy pulling the wool over idiots who try to look down on me.
Fellow: Hm, let's see how much we earned today…
Fellow: Two, four, six, eight… Oho, not a bad haul. Look, Gidel, we'll be feasting tonight!
[Gidel hops happily]
Fellow: Word's probably got around by now, especially after I raked in this much. This might be the end of the line for our earnings here…
Gidel: …
Fellow: What? You want to head south this time?
Fellow: Not a bad idea. How 'bout we target vacationers at them fancy resorts?
Fellow: Let's see if we can kindly crash their little enjoyable vacations.
Fellow: …Yeah, that's perfect. You're a genius, Gidel. This time, we'll be the fancy, rich folk out on vacation.
Fellow: We go where we want, when we want. We have nothing and no one tying us down.
Fellow: That's the least we deserve as free-spirited folk!
[Sunset Savanna – Sunrise City]
Fellow: EEEEP~~! I PROMISE, I WON'T DO ANYTHING BAD ANYMORE, I PROMISE!
Fellow: HELP~~~!
[Sunset Savanna – Sunrise City]
Fellow: SHIT! THAT MASSIVE CHEAPSKATE!
Fellow: They were carrying around a crazy fat wallet. They could've spared even a little bit and nothing woulda hurt their bottom line.
Fellow: Yet they caused a fuss just from me trying to swipe a few thousand madol… Ouuuch, it's still throbbing where they hit me.
[stomachs gurgle]
Fellow: Man, I'm starving. It's gonna suck to go another night without dinner.
Fellow: Ain't there something we can find to eat…?
[Gidel starts to drift away]
Fellow: …Hey, wait, Gidel! Don't open that can!
Fellow: Geez… Don'tcha see what it says right here? It's got OIL inside. You can't eat it, even if you open it.
Fellow: You do the same thing every time you're hungry. I've taught you dozens of times, can't you read what it says?
Gidel: …
Fellow: C'mon, squat here a little. I'll draw it out on the ground, so don't forget this time, 'kay?
Fellow: O is for Orange! It looks round and tasty, don't it?
Fellow: I is for Ice Cream! That thin, ice popsicle was pretty tasty the other day, wasn't it?
Fellow: L is for laugh! Don't it look like a smile when you look at it on it's side?
Fellow: …Why is L the only thing that's not food? I couldn't think of anything, so sue me.
Fellow: There's only so much I can teach you, too.
Fellow: Tch. If I had been able to go to school… By now I woulda been more…
[Gidel pats Fellow]
Gidel: …
Fellow: What? We don't need school to fill our bellies?
Fellow: Sigh, oh, Gidel. You know, you're…
Fellow: TOTALLY RIGHT!!
Fellow: That's right, we're living just fine even without going to school.
Fellow: Learning whatever with books and pencils is utter nonsense.
Fellow: We'll just clean out those suckers that went though their oh so lovely education, and just live a life that's even fuller.
Gidel: !
Fellow: That's right, leave it to me! Follow me, kid, and one day, you'll be a grand showstopper too.
Fellow: We'll get some halfwit students to dance for us on a stage for our own amusement!
Fellow: Now… What's more important right now is figuring out what we're going to eat tonight. I'll try to find something, so you start a fire.
Fellow: Just throw whatever you find into the fire, like wooden crates, or posters or… Hm?
Fellow: This job posting here… Oh, well, well!
Fellow: Look here, Gidel, That one prick is looking to hire someone. And this time, it's at an amusement park!
Fellow: I don't know what they're planning, but… Last time we did work for 'em, we made a killing.
Fellow: I can't stand how he looks down on us, but there's a lot more to gain out of it…
Fellow: Why don't we just go hear them out, Gidel? If we don't like it, we can just bail.
Fellow: We live only for today, never thinking about what tomorrow might bring. We do whatever work keeps our lives free and fun. 'Cause we can go and do whatever we want.
[Gidel nods, Fellow whistles as they go off]
Requested by @sakurakudo.
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sick!ellie is the best, and irrefutably the worst menace. hot soups and action movies in bed did not endure this girl well enough, for a strange wellspring had infected her with energy aplenty. how exactly did she dispense that energy? by making you the object of her sick-in-bed entertainment!
“come here, babe. i won't get you sick.. please?” she would strainingly call out to you, her lanky arms at a stretch outwards, reaching for air she hopes becomes the shape of you in her hold. “just one cuddle for the sick girl?” she ended with a horrid and snotty sniffle, conflicting to her convinces. you cringe to admit it, but you complied each time; it was more than just one cuddle for the sick girl. it lasted throughout the hollow night and resulted in interrupted kisses in the dark. obviously, from sneezing: starting with sweet sensations puckered on your neck, to the inevnitable retreating, eyes unevenly squinting, and guttural, “ahh—choo!” that was shoved into the split ravine of pillows.
“sorry babe,” she would stuffingly drawl and slowly lift her ditzy face up, freckles popping like text in a book from flesh vampirically drawn of life. “did i accidently get it on you?”
then there were the retro 'n robust action movies you managed to tuck her down for. was she at all complying? well, halfway! to spell it out: locking her eyes with the screen at random and pity intervals, sticking spoonfuls of hot soup indeed into her mouth, sometimes into yours. “here comes the annoying, screeching pterodactyl!” she spoke in theatrics, swooping and wooshing the spoon carefully through the air until she nudged it to your mouth. god, this girl acts so stoned when ill. “save it for our kids, alright?” you ply the spoon from her fingers, feeding it into her cracked-open lips instead. “wait—wait, babe, did you say kids?” she nicks the lopsided spoon from her mouth, perked up as a sunflower. “you wanna have kids?”
neither one of you could abandon those vulnerable times, however. sunken lightly into the edges of something blue as morning glory, there was the empty residence of burden. having the flu is a simple, prosaic thing, but it creates a stump in time nevertheless. “sorry for wakin' you up like that i just.. mhhn, just felt it rush, y'know?” the trills of her exhausted speech echoed softly in the bathroom, a chuckle afterwards muddled in the basin of the toilet bowl. “don't want you to feel like you have to come in and hold my hair back everytime. maybe i should start tying it up?”
ellie made light of these situations to eradicate obligation and sentimentality. it took time out of your day, your night; she has this under control, she insists. but you kneeled beside her anyway, collecting her hair in the webs of your thumbs and reciprocating her weak grin, rubbing the warm hill of her upper-back as she plunged those retches right back in. “such an idiot, ellie,” you commented after, brushing thin baby hairs from the frail and pale color of her cheek. “why can't you take yes for an answer?”
“pshh—” she blows from her mouth, amused and propping up on crossed arms. “cause i like being taken care of by you—way too much.”
sick and silly ellie is one of my weak spots, i think. ohh i have so many ideas for her.
#⤹𓍢ִ໋aestras footnotes#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams fluff#ellie tlou#lesbian#sapphic#ellie x reader#ellie williams headcanons#ellie williams concept#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams blurb#ellie williams fic#ellie williams fanfiction#sick!ellie
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To feel seen
word count; 680 – f!reader who wears glasses
Tsukishima was reading a paleontological magazine he got from his brother, headphones on as he occasionally bopped his head the slightest bit as if he wasn’t sitting in his classroom during lunch period. Yamaguchi was sick today and left his best friend in his own company, which he really didn’t have a problem with.
What he did have a problem with was seeing how that guy from the class next door sauntered right through the door and over to you. Your seat was in front of Kei, and to put all formalities aside, he liked you. From afar. He would never admit to it, not to himself and not to anyone else, but the fact is that he did. So as he watched this guy approach you, he discreetly moved one side of his earphones back on his head, looking at the corner of what he was now just pretending to read.
“You look beautiful as ever, y/n,” he said, leaning one hand on your desk, which made you carefully lean back a bit and chuckle awkwardly. You adjusted your glasses and tried to be polite.
“Thank you, that’s very kind, but I am trying to have my lunch.” The corner of Tsukishima’s mouth lifted.
Unfortunately, this guy was persistent. It’s not the first time he was in there for you, but it’s the first time he brought you something. “I know, so I got you a strawberry soda.” he said, putting said beverage down on the desk and doing a little ‘tadaa’-like movement with his hands.
Tsukishima could not believe what he heard. What an idiot! She doesn’t like soda…
Why is it suddenly so silent? He slowly looked up from the magazine, and he could swear his heart did something weird when he saw your face was turned towards him and lips parted in what seemed like surprise. Both you and your admirer were looking at him because he said that aloud, he realised.
“How do you know that, Stinkyshima?” the guy said in an annoyed voice, and Tsukki could just hear from the tone that he must have overheard that nickname from Hinata. Somewhere down the hall, Tsukki hoped the tangerine could feel his curses in the form of a sneeze.
Tsukishima was about to try and excuse himself from the conversation, but then he looked at you again. Your shoulders were more relaxed and there was some kind of sparkle in your eyes he hadn’t seen before. “She says it all the time,” fell from his lips, and it made you feel so seen.
You cleared your throat, gathering some courage as Tsukishima initiated mission ‘avoid eye contact’. Turning back around to the front, you smiled kindly at the boy who had repeatedly tried to win your affection. You picked up the soda and held it up to him so he could take it back. “Thank you, but he’s right.”
At the end of the next school day, your friends tried to quickly pull you with them so you could all go to a karaoke place like you planned, but you told them you’d catch up and slowly turned to Tsukishima’s desk where he was putting everything away in his bag at his own pace. You bit your lip nervously as you stepped up beside him, and he startled a bit but hoped you didn’t notice.
“I saw this and it made me think of you,” you said and put something on his desk before turning around and promptly escaping to catch up with your friends before you could see his reaction. Tsukishima picked it up, hooking his finger through a keychain and holding it up so he could see it. Dangling from it was a small brachiosaurus balancing a volleyball on its head.
You bet that was hanging from his bag from that day forward, and anyone who dared make fun of it would get his ugliest glare along with whatever insult he could muster up.
Soon, maybe the two of you would do everyone a favour and stop admiring each other from afar.
masterlist
#haikyu#haikyu x reader#haikyuu#hq x reader#fanfiction#haikyuu x reader#hq#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x you#haikyu fluff#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima kei#haikyuu tsukishima#tsukki
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AN: Def seems like the person to deny being sick, and act like a little bastard, and not take medicine, and just act whiney and clingy
Sick! Shadow Milk Cookie x Reader
Oneshot (headcanons below)
Warnings: idk, just a silly little post of our favorite trickster ☆☆☆
-Sick-
"Shadow Milk, you have to take the medicine or you're not going to get better!"
"I already told you- It's gross and I don't wanna!"
This back and forth had been going on for who knows how long.
You see, Shadow Milk had caught a cold, and you have been trying to get him to take medicine to recover. The only problem was, he was being a stubborn little brat.
"And I'm fine! It's just a cough. I'm not even sick-"
Oh, and there was that too. He kept insisting that he was fine when he clearly wasn't.
"You threw up an hour ago."
"That's unrelated."
You frowned.
"If you don't take it then I'm going to become sick. You would want that, right?"
He glared at you. "I don't like how you're using your own health against mine," he'd say.
"Fine, give it here," he reached his hand out for the bottle of medicine, to which you happily gave him.
Then he began to gulp it down by the bottle-full.
"MILKTHATSNOTHOWYOURESUPPOSEDTOTAKETHEMEDICINE-" You'd scream out in mild panic.
"Just be grateful I'm even taking it in the first place!" He'd hiss.
He finished the entire bottle.
"This stuff tastes gross. I don't know how you normal people do it," He'd stick out his tongue, and you would snatch the now empty bottle from his hands.
"That's because you're not supposed to drink all of it."
"Yada Yada, rules aren't really my thing, doll. Anyway, am I like.. not sick anymore?"
What a clueless, loveable, idiot.
"...No. You have to wait a while,"
He had a disgusted look on his face.
"Are you serious? I drank that whole bottle and it doesn't even cure me? That's such a scandal." He would cross his arms.
"Again, you weren't supposed to drink it all."
"Yeah yeah, my bad. Now hurry up and cuddle me. It's been much to long since I've last had you in my arms." He would reach his arms out for you, making grabbing hands and a pouting face.
"No way- I don't want to catch what you have."
He ignored your response and snatched you under the covers with him.
You were really stuck now. You both know that if Shadow Milk wants something, it's his. And in the current moment, he wanted your attention.
"If you do end up getting sick, then I'll be the one to take care of you."
It was going to be a long week.
Headcanons ☆
Runs around the house to avoid taking medicine
Denies being sick, even though he sneezes like every five seconds
Refuses to rest
Will get abnormaly warm, but will still complain about being cold
Will cuddle you in the night and you're legit overheating
He says sorry but doesn't do anything about it
Either takes all of the blankets from you, or puts ALL of the blankets on both of you
Either way, he uses all of the blankets
Ten times clingy, but he insists its for 'no reason in particular.'
Gets so whiney and needy
If he doesn't have your attention 24/7 he screams
Will 100% use his sick status to avoid responsibilities
Still a flirty bastard
If he ever seems to get randomly better, he'll say it's because of your love
One time has attempted to start an... interesting doctor and patient role play
You shut down the idea quickly and he wouldn't stop nagging you about it for the rest of the day
#cookie run kingdom#Cookie Run#crk#Cookie run x reader#crk x reader#cookie run kingdom x reader#crk oneshot#cookie run oneshot#cookie run kingdom oneshot#shadow milk cookie#shadow milk#shadow milk cookie x reader#shadow milk x reader#shadow milk cookie oneshot#shadow milk oneshot#shadow milk cookie crk#shadow milk crk#shadow milk cookie cookie run kingdom#crk fluff#shadow milk cookie fluff
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