#get crazy get stupid etc etc
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bro after i finish By Starlight i might sit down & actually read these fics i wrote. catch me liveblogging my own series like "BELLA SWAN IS A FUCKING VAMPIRE SLAYER FR???????"
#i've never read any of my fics all the way through but from what yall tell me they're worth it!#half the time when you guys send me lines from ITA or CN i don't remember writing it. (don't do drugs kids!) i'm just like 'oh! neat!'#so we'll have some fun together after BS ends#i'll do another DVD commentary#the Edward POV companion fic set between CN/BS#liveblogging the fic(?)#liveblogging the reread of Breaking Dawn#maybe some crit lit metas if i hate myself#then it's Breaking Dawn rewrite time :)#get crazy get stupid etc etc
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the movie did such a good job at putting me in isabel/owens shoes honestly because i was looking at tara/maddys monologue scene through a lens of just not letting go of nostalgia so i was like 'oh my god do not get in that hole in the ground. this is crazy' but then two minutes later with hindsight i Understood and was like 'NO YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN IN THE HOLE IN THE GROUND GO BACK'
#thats how you know its a good metaphor because this was also exactly my cycle with hrt for like 6 straight years#'oh my god you cant get on testosterone right now theres all this. it would be crazy'#*2 years later* oh my god why didnt i start hrt back then that was so stupid. it would have been so easy. i cant do it now of course.#*2 years later* oh my god why didnt i start hrt back then it would have been so ea#avpost#movie diary#i saw the tv glow#but hey anyway i DID start hrt its not too late etc etc. please god go bury yourself in that hole in the ground right now.
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Hhhhhh do you ever think about how there's a high chance the reason why Oscar got attached to Arthur so quickly is because he was lonely.
#oscar malevolent#malevolent#malevolent podcast#I AM SO FUCKING SAD OVER THIS STUPID LITTLE PRIEST ITS CRAZY 😭#HAHA WHAT IF HE WAS LONELY AND DIDNT HAVE ANY FRIENDS THAT WERENT LIKE CHURCH ATTENDEES AND HE THOUGHT HE FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE HIS AGE#WHO'D UNDERSTAND HIM AND BE THERE FOR HIM AND OUGHHHH GOD NO LIKE YOU REALLY DO GET THE IMPRESSION HE THOUGHT HE'D GET TO SPEND MORE TIME#WITH ARTHUR AND WANTED THEM TO GET CLOSER AND THE WAY THEY CLICKED?? OUGH#blindfaith#<- but like vaguely#and also this post could be platonic or romangic or qp etc#txt#the fumble#alternatively oscars just a little devoted freak and i can get behind that
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STILL thinking about that confrontation from earlier. fucking. "what's up kidnapper" and forever not believing bad (and bad lying directly to his face) and then when forever tried to hug him Bad Stepped Back. and then later tonight when bad got lassoed by tubbo and bagi, bad called to forever for help first. and bad showing forever a fake cell and forever telling him that this isn't how they get dapper back and the "you can kidnap me" and bad telling bagi that he's going to keep checking on the appreciation room because forever told him too and. they care about each other SO MUCH but they trust each other SO LITTLE. can anyone hear me look at them. look at them. they've been so dysfunctional but now they're finding something closer to an equilibrium. how long will that last. they've tried and they've failed to kill each other. holding these cubes so fucking gently and then i am putting them in a glass jar and shaking it violently.
#qsmp#4halo#qsmp shipping#their dynamic as a platonic thing makes me crazy too but i've decided to just fully embrace my shipping side#i normally dont ship anyone but there is a DEARTH of my fave 4halo shipping vibes so sure lets go silly lets go crazy#these cubes are gay and they want to kiss so bad it makes them look stupid etc etc etc#but more seriously. look at them#it's dysfunctional in the way that most of bad's close relationships are dysfunctional#but while foolish just sort of vibes with the torments forever goes out of his way to Get Bad Back#bad LIVES for that shit he's getting so much enrichment
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zesty lowkey just another way for str8 ppl to say faggot / faggy and get away with it
#and im sick of letting them#cus why my lil nephew not even ten yet saying that and 'acting 'zesty' ' with his friends#i hate sounding like a boomer like i value the upside of technology#but u give humans / ANYONE rlly a chance to relax and a lot will turn it into laziness / neglect just because they can#like it's good to spread awareness but it's maybe likeeee. Not a good thing to spread statements/stereotypes with no further explanation#and peddle it to CHILDREN#whose comprehensions skills are. surprise. that of a CHILD'S#i say this ironically. btw#'oh im so mature for my age' no bro ure an immature HUMAN whos being forced to immaturely consider urself mature#due to the nature of ur relationships and homelife (or more-so the lack/negatives of them)#like it's ok to be a little stupid#as long as u keep trying to improve instead of just sitting in fault#or acting like they dont exist#anyways this got off topic but ya. crazy#kids have been killing each other n crazy shit like that but lately the crazy murder stories have HEAVILY leaned into#a misunderstanding of materialism#instead of just 'i wonder what it feels like' it's 'she took my ipad & also i wonder what it feels like'#like the first was already scary enough & now we've got this shit???#empathy is going thru a downside and we need to adjust the scales back!!!#im not gonna act like this is some new never seen b4 onset of fear impacting a generation after mine#bcs it's not never seen before in LIFE.. it's just never been seen b4 in UR life. which can feel like LIFE LIFE bcs like. uve only got one#that u may be cognizant of or etc religion aspect insert here. the point is. history repeats itself. but the points of history#can vary in visibility. some events get more notice than others bcs history's voice is ppl & actions & sometimes that gets erased#this isnt some bastardization point of one generation. but it IS a flaw that can show up in any gen (usually the oncoming ones)#bcs changes can be comfort & discomfort & the one u'd usually consider negative isnt always#anyways what im trying to say is. we need empathy back up period. always. we need empathy#lack of it is concerning. end of argument
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at some point some of yall will have to admit to yourselves that the jason todd you like and have built up in fanon is not the jason todd that he actually is
inconsistent canon writing included, I have no idea where these povs on him are coming from if ur not actually meaning to do a disservice to his character
#jason todd#red hood#dcu#dc#we already know a third of dc writers do NAWT like jason#I’m prepared to deal with that but even when hes written by them its like??#AT LEAST HES LIKE THAT BC THEY DONT LIKE HIM#but to say u like jason and include him in batfam and etc meanwhile the jason ur looking at couldnt even pass as a walmart version#hes not stupid hes not pit crazy hes not incompetent hes not only fucking angry all the time#actually u know what he is angry#but hes never let that affect his decisions to the extent that I see portrayed in fanon#I cannot dictate or police how people choose to create content for jason like thats smth they’re doing for free in their own free time#but its just so disappointing that I constantly see him getting watered down to the most consumer friendly version of himself#just so that he can fit into the world u want to create#he deserves better !! he deserves to be taken seriously as his OWN character and NOT just batman collateral#he deserves to exist on his own and be taken in as such#the things that happened to jason happened to jason happened to HIM#and the things jason did HE chose to do#to strip him of all of those characteristics so hes more palatable#or so he can have an easy transition into batfam#(which if anyone was to be honest with themselves would realize is not going to happen realistically in canon)#is boring and overdone and frankly should be easy to not do#its okay not to like jason as he is#but that IS who he is#and for goddamn good reasons#not me writing an essay in the tags
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my new assignments for the friends as xiv jobs if u even care (based mostly on my friends interpretations of said characters)—
leland - paladin lol
connie - astrologian, sage, or bard
sonny - scholar, sage, or summoner
julie - dancer, monk or bard
danny - dark knight, machinist or black mage
maria - white mage, astrologian or pictomancer
ana - warrior, dark knight or paladin
#having a hard time picking between the healers for ms connie but astro reminds me of her unicorn fantasy vibes a little#can’t explain but also the sage ability to put the tank in The Shame Cube of shielding#sonny would just be very cute with a fairy summon + u have to use ur brain to coordinate scholar abilities well.#julie just seems like a super active role. dancer sorta pretty and fun and provides party support + dance partner#danny as written by my homies is very dark knight misunderstood 2 me. but also machinist bc hehe tinkering#maria white mage bc nature lilies heaven energy sometimes. bright light etc#ana warrior bc never die and think she should get to go crazy and stupid angry mode sometimes#picto also cute for maria like it’s just so whimsical#the gangs team comp is in shambles but its ok
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Okay so this is a bit of a random request for advice but. For those of u who know my situation n the grief and the loss suffered etc etc. Basically I’ve got it in my head that maybe I just need to fucking change my entire life and. Um. join the army reserves? So in the UK the reserves aren’t the fighting unit from what I know they’re just backup, so you get the adventurous/ thrilling training program + you’re called up only if there’s a national crisis like a flood or whatever, and you help your own country you don’t go elsewhere. However up until This Very Point I’ve always been very staunchly against the military as an entire ideal. And so I’m caught between like. This Huge urge to just. Do terrifying things like parachuting etc and really force myself into a training regime or whatever so that I don’t let the ummmmm substance abuse take over my life. But I’m also. Like I hate the military 😭😭 so I’m just really confused and if anyone has any good advice to impart on me. Please do.
#like im a socialist. and I don’t agree with the military on a philosophical level. but on a mental level? idk I just. idk maybe it would#help me#and my whole life I’ve had these crazy ‘what if’ ideas that I’ve never acted on.#and I just. I don’t fucking know. if this is just a stupid thought that shouldn’t be pursued please I want to know.#its jarring because my whole life I’ve KNOWN that these organisations - military religious etc- have always preyed on people just like me#and yet. like. I just….. I DONT KNOW. I fucking need to get out. I need to change something. I need to BE something else.#I want to be scared and do new things and reinvent myself I don’t fucking know.#ugh#anyway
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I'm having fun with this bracket (but some of the options are so hard to vote from cause I love both songs dearly), but some of the tags are lowkey kind of unnecessary :/ (saw one that kind of set me off but I'm not gonna say what they wrote)
no for real it's like i don't care if you like one song better than the other that's the whole point of this thing but ppl are taking it. quite far and i don't get it
#it's not so much that i'm outraged or offended as the other anon insinuated but more like it's just unnecessary#to declare this the bad taste website for example because people like the song blackbird. which is a good song#it's more about my obsession with objectivity than any kind of moral judgment. i want to be weighing these songs#up based on their merit artistry vibes etc not hearing that you think everyone who likes the extremely interesting and popular#song eleanor rigby is an unqualified idiot. it's not even that i don't like it i just don't get it!#sorry for the um ramblings or whatever it's just that i'm a human being having a crazy week and i love the beatles so much it's stupid#ask#anon
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my father is an olympic gold medalist in the sport of emotionally tormenting women
#bolo speaks#I've had him blocked on everything for the past two years because I was one of the women he terrorizes even when I was still a girl#but I'm only able to do that because *other* women in my family are on the frontlines dealing with him. which I am keenly aware of.#anyway I got a message from my grandma asking if I was mad at her because he'd been saying that I hated her (untrue and bizarre to boot#like just factually a man I haven't been on speaking terms with since I was seventeen has no leg to stand on whatsoever wrt to what I have#going on emotionally or in my relationships. but he's nothing if not adept at digging into people's worst insecurities so I get why she'd#be bothered)#and he has a new girlfriend now who I haven't met but who he treats the way he treated my mother before they separated#going into drunk rages breaking her things degrading her etc. and *her* family encourages her to ignore it because he's got money#and I don't know. I don't know my dad's girlfriend I've never met her but I am intimately aware of just how horribly#he treats every woman in his life. anyway [NAME] if you're reading this GET OUT ‼️#and the worst part is that he is like. a genuine shameless misogynist like he'd go on these crazy rants about#how women are just vaginas and we're all stupid and hysterical anyway so it doesn't matter if me and mom are scared of him#because we're just dumb women. which has naturally torched his bridges with me and every other woman in our family right.#and his takeaway from that is that he's *right* and being put-upon by all these irrational harpies for no valid reason.#my dad voice: are women scared of me because I'm violent and unpredictable? no. it's those stupid bitches that are wrong.
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My paranoia is like. Super bad lately (it's really bad today for some reason) and I haven't been checking notifications, asks, messages, etc as a result so pls just know I'm not ignoring anyone!! Just struggling with the mental illness stuff
#I've literally been sitting here worrying myself sick all day#instead of reacting to notifocations like Literally any normal person would I get like. really scared#my brain does this Cool™️ thing where it's like Hey everyone is secretly making fun of you and they hate you#so like every single notification O get (asks messages tags etc) I'm like Oh god what if they're telling me how much they hate me#or like What if they're making fun of me and think I'm crazy or stupid#I think the woest part of all of this is O literally cannot get help#the psychiatrist I was supposed to see will not get bqck with me about an appointment so idk what to do lol#basically I have no idea wtf is wrong with me and at this point idk if I ever will know lol#idk if this needs to be tagged as vent???#it's not really a vent it's more like me explaining what's going on
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Thanksgiving dinner with my parents
#the hostility is FUCKING CRAZY they actually want to kill each other#well tbf‚ there is a nonzero chance my father would legitimately kill my mother‚ but ignore that#also he is talking about NOTHING but the next month of the STUPID FUCKING GODDAMN REMODEL#which‚ just as a refresher‚ entails hammering/drilling/sawing/etc. every day for 10–12+ hours starting at 7 am#and my mother is sad because she won't get to decorate for christmas due to the nonstop construction/demolition all december#so she's being passive-aggressive about that. and everything else she could possibly be passive-aggressive about#hell on earth hell on earth hell on earth hell on earth hell on earth hell on earth hell on earth hell on earth hell on earth hell on earth#my sister and i just giving each other furtive looks like 🫢😐🫣🤐🙄😒😬😳😕#personal#thanksgiving#bojack horseman#family drama#domestic violence
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I genuinely feel like I dont have a right at all to complain or talk negative about Japanese fans but like……..the evident cliqueish-ness of honestly what looks like a very unfortunate larger chunk of them ……😮💨
like i gotta be honest the concert was a lot more isolating than it actually already was in itself because of the vibes at least a couple of clusters of fans gave me
#ramblin but not a gamblin man#like there’s a point where the pretty fixed staring or being like….physically distanced by everyone just gets…..unnerving#like the train back was completely fucking packed#except for in the space in front of where i was sitting…..lol#there was room for at least two people to stand if only people had actually consolidated and scrunched#like they had been doing the entire motherfucking way through transit and back#but i guess fuck them they can wait for the next train??? sure that makes sense#like i have never felt MORE uncomfortable and self-conscious being a smap/takuya fan#he’s the only piece that actually matters at the con tho 🫰#i probably should have brought merch but i actually was not crazy about the con’s theming (it’s…giving a bit too parasocial for my taste)#and I didn’t even consider bringing gwtf or next destination merch but i probably should have#but it’s not actually /mine/ so then i would think about how everyone that has theirs maybe probably ACTUALLY went to the concerts#that was another thing tho which is absolutely stupid because the whole point of a con is to SHOW OFF the stuff#but it was actually like……..off putting to me…….#idk maybe it’s cuz i innately have a weird ‘relationship’ with smap/individual members in that they aren’t normal-level interests#it just wasn’t sitting right with me seeing hoards of fans with bags..shirts..hats..all kinds of stuff lol#and it’s so hard NOT to have a defense mechanism like ‘I wonder if that person likes smap or /just/ takuya….’#and ‘did you actually want to come to the concert or mostly/just because you think he’s hot/cool/etc etc?’#esp validating seeing TWO people yawn during the con which was genuinely pretty disgusting/distasteful lmao#like that’s worse than leaving early why are you EVEN HERE#sorry okay i could probably vent more but i actually shouldnt and also i might end up talking in circles but#he was genuinely…………so amazing im eternally grateful that i had the opportunity to see him live#and if there is a smap reunion………..#….i genuinely think smapchat should storm it#be our own ✨clique✨#(but like…actually nice and kind and probably how takuya would want his fans to be ie not thickly-layered judgment [heehee :3])#(im also actually kind of so serious ???)
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i can’t be like. completely anti the 1975 bc i do like some of their stuff and also have weird nostalgic teenage feelings wherein i can’t separate certain albums from times in my life but i would like the matt healy-ification of other artists to stoooop please why does everyone feel the need to work with him lol
#like i know amber bain is literally signed to dirty hit but why is he everywhere goo awaay#this is insane and crazy but does anyone else feel this weird dyke-y betrayal when your favourite female musicians love to work with your#least favourite men. or just men in general lol#i'm aware this is like. absolute whacko but it is so rare to find artists who are solely focussed on women and trying to write with women &#have women work in the studio etc etc. kind of like how just in general it is so lonely to want to see men completely decentred from#everything as a lesbian and never actually getting to see that. idk it's stupid to be mad about it but i am anyway lol
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tv monitor vista! what kind of shows do you think the dragons have. is there a dragon walt disney making some steamboat willie ass animations
...I can't believe I have two (2) entire movie studios and not one animator. One sec.
His name is Oscar :) Mostly does touchups + special effects to liveaction stuff but makes his little cartoons on the side. Probably more Fantasmagorie than Steamboat Willie though.
This is cribbing from my longass reply to that ask I got a week ago about technology levels in Sorneith but - I am honestly surprised and thrilled that we got a TV vista given how staff keeps saying that Sorneith is at 1920s technology levels. Technically television existed in the 20s but it was pretty crude and definitely not widespread. I guess time is moving on!
In my lore at least television mostly isn't a thing - infrastructure in Sorneith is spotty at best due to a lack of interflight cooperation + lack of intraflight coordination + generally hostile geology where anything that isn't supervised constantly is prone to getting hit by lightning or set aflame by a volcano or stomped by Luminax. Even radio coverage can be unreliable in a lot of areas, and it's common for stations to be run by individuals or small groups with no real oversight or coordination. The SSMC has a broadcast wing with stations in Fire, Lightning, and Ice and they are constantly dealing with yahoos trying to bust in on their frequencies.
Where it does exist, it's used as a tool for public announcements and government news. Monitors are set up in public places and you have to go out to see the broadcast. Only very wealthy or very important dragons would have their own sets. This mostly happens in Arcane territory, which is relatively urbanized/has a semi-functional central government, as well as having high levels of ambient magic to power everything. It is exclusively cable, however - that high magic level also causes crazy interference with any kind of broadcast. Part of the reason they have this system is because local radio gets really messed up.
Which is to say, dragon TV shows are either like "Severe Thunderstorm Warning - Take Cover" or CSPAN (OculusSPAN?). Not that exciting, unfortunately.
Hypothetical fun Sorneith would have reality TV with the deities though.
#i have some old pumpkin center stuff which implies they have broadcast news#this is either an INCREDIBLY localized thing or is being retconned to newsreels. not sure which yet#thank you for asking!!#technology ask IS being answered eventually i promise but i may have to break it up because its stupid long#but also breaking it up is harrrrrrd bc i talk about transportation which means i have to talk about prosthetics which means i have to talk#about the crazy bioengineering plague and nature get up to. then i swerve back to prosthetics to talk about computer stuff because you all#know i have cyborgs. then that relates to telecom etc etc#i looooove to overthink stuff. its fun
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serenity come home
#igo crazy without her.sorey chat#shes my omega that calms me down w her pheromones...AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#who else do i talk ab my stupid faggot si gi ocs. with. ugjbn nobody gets qye lkke us#im soo sick for qye ...i cant stop thknking ab them#jinchao ... one sided yatlian ... ayakanazuha ... platonic kanbara.. etc etc#and michley UAGAJHNN i miss haley sdv everyday#my girl my girl the girl ever I LOVE BLONDESSSS#post#maes tag
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