#least favourite men. or just men in general lol

[forestgreenlesbian]

i can’t be like. completely anti the 1975 bc i do like some of their stuff and also have weird nostalgic teenage feelings wherein i can’t separate certain albums from times in my life but i would like the matt healy-ification of other artists to stoooop please why does everyone feel the need to work with him lol

[yellowharrington]

wildflower and barley -- joel miller x reader

pairing + fandom: joel miller x reader, the last of us (hbo)

word count: 5k+ oops

warnings/notes: smut smut smut!!! minors DNI, 18+!!! no outbreak!au. age gap (it's implied reader is in her 20s while joel is 45) and mentions of joel being kinda perverted and liking it lol. drinking (both reader and joel, not excessive), use of a dating app like tinder but not specified, unprotected PIV w creampie and oral (m+f receiving), do not fuck your tinder hookups without protection i'm just horny and gross. excessive use of darlin' as a nickname. implied that reader likes men. she/her pronouns used, afab!reader (with mentions of body parts), no use of y/n. if i missed anything lmk!

a/n: heavily inspired by this post by @yesttoheaven about joel's tinder profile!! it has been rotting my brain since i saw it which literally inspired me to write my first fic in the tlou fandom ever so please be gentle with me. i imagined show!joel because i've never played the game so do with that what you will. please reblog and leave comments if u enjoy it <3333

divider by @cafekitsune

summary: after deciding to change your age range on a dating app in hope of a change of scenery, you stumble across joel miller.

No one likes using dating apps.

Swiping left, left, left mindlessly at troves of men holding fish, showing off their trucks, or with deer heads mounted to the walls behind their selfies holding guns.

This was Texas, after all.

Having just moved here, it was a little shocking, to say the least. But you were getting used to the “eligible” bachelors that were your age generally looking and acting the same. When you did end up finding someone of interest, you were usually turned off pretty quickly by whatever shitty pick-up line they had chosen. Or, your personal favourite, “wanna fuck?”

No thanks.

It was an idyllic summer evening, the hot stuffy air of Austin flowing in through your windows. You laid in bed, propped up on the pillows against your headboard and sorting through the faces that adorned your screen. No one particularly interesting, as usual, and every profile was starting to melt together to look the same.

You sighed, looking into your settings, adjusting and increasing different metrics to hopefully change the pool just enough for there to be someone new or interesting. 

Age range: 25-30

Your eyebrow cocked as you looked onto the screen, pulling the slider more to the right experimentally. No one was here to see you, and even though it was slightly embarassing to be interested in older men, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t pique your interest to imagine it. Even just to try, and see, if they ever really did grow up. You imagined it was wishful thinking, but increased the range anyways.

Age range: 35-45

Feeling the need to throw your phone across the room after doing that, you placed it face down under your pillow and slid out of bed. No use in swiping through them now, and you were getting tired of looking. A pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a new episode of your favourite show was waiting for you downstairs.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

Joel Miller does not use dating apps.

He barely knows how to send a text on his phone, let alone navigate the world of online women. Not to say he didn’t explore the options, so to speak, but they usually were not ones that were single, his age, and in his area. Unless the ads on those sites were real, that is.

“It’s starting to get sad,” Sarah had remarked at breakfast, when they got on the topic, and Joel feigned hurt. Hand over his heart, he dropped his fork onto the plate. “It’s not sad, Jesus. I’m just busy, is all.”

“Busy not gettin’ busy,” Sarah remarked, and Joel’s eyes widened. “Hey now! None of that.”

A blush spread up his cheeks and ears as they continued to eat breakfast in slightly awkward silence, before Joel took his plate to the sink. “Okay, off to school, you. And no more conversations about my dating life. Ever.”

Sarah laughed as she finished off the last of the juice in her glass. “I’m just saying, dad. You can if you want to. Might be nice for you.”

Joel planted a soft kiss to her head before she bounded out the door, rolling his eyes and calling out a ‘love you’ before she closed the door swiftly behind her. Joel stared at his cell phone on the table. Maybe it would be nice.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

The following evening, you were a little too excited to see the dating app specimens you had acquired. Not sure what to expect, really, and you went in with no expectations. It’s not like they’d magically all be tall, dark, and handsome, but some variety never killed anybody.

Paul, 41

Daddy, but not yours. No libs allowed. 6’ because that matters.

You sighed deeply. Some things never change. 

After swiping through much of what you were used to, a profile managed to catch your eye among the sea of disappointment.

Joel, 45

Just a Southern gentleman trying this out for the first time. Contractor of over 10 years. I love my daughter, BBQ, strong coffee, and sleeping in. 

Now that was the most interesting thing you’d seen in a while.

He didn’t look a day over 40. His eyes creased at the corners when he smiled wide in his photos. He looked tan, a product of the Texas heat and his job, you thought. His features were accompanied by salt-and-pepper facial hair and messy curls that looked soft and pliable. His photos showed off his physique incredibly, tight wash-worn t-shirts pulling over his arms and shoulders, looking big, broad. He was no doubt the most handsome man you’d seen on an app, maybe ever.

When you swiped right before you could think too hard, you were surprised to see the green “Match!” Flash across your screen.

Your fingers ghosted over the keyboard on your phone, thinking of a witty thing to say, probably for too long.

Your phone buzzed as you saw a notification pop up.

Joel has sent you a message.

Hey, darlin’. How are ya?

You felt your face warm at the sweet message, when was the last time someone had called you darlin’? Ever?

Hey cowboy. I’m great, how are you?

He was certainly an eager responder, taking only a few seconds to reply. You found yourself smiling down at your phone screen.

Cowboy… I like that. I’m better now that I’m talking to you.

Oh, Joel, who told you to say that? 😂

No good?

Not bad. 6/10. 

Only 6/10? I’ll work on it. I like to think I’m better in person. 

I would love to find out. 

You found yourself emboldened by how easy the conversation was flowing. Joel was certainly easy to talk to, easier than the other matches you had going for you, and infinitely more handsome.

Oh, would you? Alright. I’d love to take you to dinner sometime. If you don’t mind being seen with an old man such as myself in public. Or meeting a stranger from the internet.

He’s a very handsome stranger. I would love to go to dinner with you. Know any good spots? I’m new around here.

There’s a great barbecue spot in downtown Austin. If you’d prefer something fancier, let me know.

I love bbq. Just tell me where and when, cowboy.

Tomorrow, 7pm ok?

You sent him your phone number in the message. Fuck it.

Sounds great. Text me the address, I’ll be there. :)

Joel’s reply didn’t come. Instead, a text appeared at the top of your screen with an unknown number. 

It’s Joel. This the right number?

Yup. You found me.

Great. Talk tomorrow sweetheart. Looking forward to it. :)

He texted you the address of the restaurant, right before you opened the contact card, saving his name as “cowboy ♡”.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

Cowboy. Cowboy. Cowboy. It was playing over in his head like a broken fuckin’ record. 

Joel was positively freaking out about this date.

Sarah had managed to secure a sleepover at her friend’s place, so the house would be empty for the night. He had been busying himself with cleaning the entirety of the house, even taking the time to mow the grass before work and vacuum the family room. He can’t remember the last time he vacuumed anywhere.

Would she even make it back here? How does this work? Will she want to sleep over or hang out on the couch or should he be making a dessert for after?

His mind was brought out of it’s craze by Sarah jumping down the stairs. She plopped her bag down on the freshly wiped countertop.

“Careful,” he warned, putting a hand up. “I just cleaned that off.”

“I can tell. It smells like the cleaning aisle threw up in here.”

He smirked before patting her head with his hand, as she aggressively smoothed out her hair. “Dad! Don’t!”

“When do you wanna go to Ellie’s?” He asked, more gaging how long he has left to get ready than actually asking.

“Probably soon. Why? Tryna get rid of me?” she poked her dad in the side, but when she flinched away instead, a large smile spread across her face. He was tense.

“What’s your deal?” Joel hated the way she knew him so well sometimes.

“Nothing.“

“Are you going on a date?”

Silence fell over the kitchen between the two of them, as Joel’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “How did you know?”

“Oh my god, you actually took my advice,” Sarah laughed, watching her dad’s face burn red with embarrassment. “Just don’t do anything weird on communal surfaces, please.”

Joel shook his head at her suggestion, already becoming annoyed with the whole prospect. He was so nervous, about what to wear, how to act, what the expectation was… let alone, what would happen if they made it back to his place at all. 

Although, when he was able to shake his nerves for a second, he was just really fucking excited.

“Wear those dark jeans, and that green shirt you wore to Tommy’s last week. Looks good on you.” Sarah smiled as she put her arms around Joel’s middle, while his worries melted away with her touch. “She’ll love you, I promise.”

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

It had been such a long time since you’d been on a proper date, you were starting to lose your mind at the simple process of deciding what to wear.

Clothes were strewn across every surface of your apartment, shoes matching with jeans that matched with cardigans, tops that matched with belts and jackets.

It’s 87 degrees at 5 o’clock, idiot. You’re not wearing a jacket. Relax.

Exhausted of picking out outfits and making decisions, you collapsed on your couch and took a look at your options. You landed on an easy sundress, putting the rest of your clothes back in their respective drawers, and pulling out all of the products you were expecting to use to get ready.

You scrolled through your phone aimlessly as a notification bubble popped up on the screen.

We still on for tonight darlin’? Or did you change your mind?

No worries if you did. I respect that.

You let out a cackle at the message, thinking about how he must look right now. Was he nervous? Scared? Was he just looking for a controversially young fuck?

You weren’t… completely against that.

Didn’t change my mind, wouldn’t in a million years :)

Meet you there. Can’t wait to see you.

His eagerness to meet up would’ve been a red flag if it were any other run of the mill guy, but something about Joel felt special. There didn’t seem to be any funny business with him; too sincere to try anything other than just a good old fashioned date.

You too, cowboy.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

When Joel showed up at the restaurant, he clenched a small bouquet of pink peonies in his right hand and checked his watch obsessively. The minutes ticked away, as he kept a high alert for anyone who could be his potential date. He knew what you looked like, of course, but this being his first time doing anything of this sort is making him hyperaware of anything going awry.

When he does lay eyes on you, his whole gaze softens. A pink sundress, hair pristinely styled and a bounce in your step that reminded him of summer. You looked like an angel, the sunset behind you painting the sky tangerine, which reflected off of the shine against your supple skin. So young, beautiful, it was taking his breath away.

“Joel?”

Your voice matched your sweet demeanour, and he was taken out of his waking daydream.

“Hi,” is all he can say, letting his breath out as he relaxed. “Yes, hi, sorry. I’m Joel.”

“Hi,” you laugh back, eyes darting to the flowers in his hand. They matched your dress.

“These are for you,” he gets the hint, extending his arm out, and you can see the veins bulging in his forearm. He looked so much stronger in person, it was making your knees go weak.

“Thank you, wow,” you held them up to your nose to smell the sweet aroma. “I love peonies.”

“Me too,” he smiled, showing off a string of pearly white teeth, that contrasted with the pink of his lips and the even tan of his skin.

“Shall we?” He extended his arm to you for you to grab onto, and you got to feel the warmth of his skin for yourself. Your hand wrapped around his forearm as he opened the door of the restaurant for you, leading you inside and catching a glimpse of the backs of your thighs as you walked in front of him.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

When you were finally sitting, the conversation flowed easily. He was truly a Southern gentleman, like he had said. It wasn’t normal for you to open up so quickly, but Joel was so easy going and smart, he asked the right questions and knew when to listen. He knew how to listen, a warm gaze and a nod along, asking follow up questions to your answers and easily getting to know you.

You asked about his daughter, his family, his work. He was happy to tell you. 

“So, what’s a man like you doing being single in this city?” You take a sip of the wine in the glass in front of you, burgundy staining your bottom lip. 

He takes a bite of the food in front of him, a napkin pressing to his lips quickly after. “Been busy,” he started to say, honey brown eyes meeting yours for a second. His gaze sent an electrifying pulse down your spine.

“And, well, when Sarah’s mom left there was a ton to do,” he says it nonchalantly, as if that should be something normal to happen. “House, work, school, she keeps my hands full. Hasn’t been a lot of time.” His syrupy drawl is pulling you in, you’re enticed by the way he speaks to you. So easy, warm, soft. You wonder what his hands feel like on your body, lips pressed to your neck, torso pressed against yours.

“Sorry, that’s a lot of information for a first date,” he laughs to cover the awkwardness, and quietly curses himself for going into so much detail about his precarious family situation and basically admitting to you that he hasn’t fucked anything other than his hand in the last 5 or so years.

“No, it’s okay,” you slide your hand across the table, palm up, urging him to slot his hand into it. He takes it, easily, enveloping yours. His fingers find the pulse point on your wrist. You let your eyes drift up to his, drinking in the way his chest fills out the shirt he chose.

“What’s your story?” He asks earnestly, giving your hand a squeeze. “Can’t imagine there isn’t a long line of people outside waiting to take my place, darlin’.”

You blush furiously at the nickname, and let your eyes meet his once again. “You have no idea the… mess that is out there,” the wine is calling your name to take another sip at the mere thought, but you refrain. “Certainly not too many I am interested in.”

“So, is that why you’re on a date with an old man on a beautiful summer night in Austin?”

You could tell Joel, in a twisted way, liked that you were younger than him. It made him feel younger by admission, that you’d want to spend time with him. 

“You’re not that much older,” you laugh, not even believing it yourself as the words left your lips. “And I like to try new things. Don’t you like trying new things, sometimes?”

It was his turn to let his face go red at your insinuation. If only you knew how ‘new’ this really was for him, how much he was pushed out of his comfort zone right now.

You didn’t notice. 

A little more polite small talk and exchanging of stories was all you could take before the tension was becoming too much. After another glass of wine and a shared plate of sky-high chocolate cake for dessert, you were enjoying his company and could tell he was enjoying yours all the same. When you met his gaze again, hands still intertwined, you could tell there was a question on the tip of his tongue.

“Would you want to…“ - a nervous pause, with a halo of lust - “come back to mine for a nightcap? I’ve got an empty house this evening.”

You couldn’t help but smirk, knowing in your heart that Joel must’ve made arrangements for his family not to be home in anticipation. He had to have planned for you, known in his heart you’d say yes.

“I’d love that.”

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

Joel’s home is unmistakably him. It smells like a pine candle that sits near the front door and a faint aroma of laundry detergent. There’s photos everywhere, him and his daughter, his brother’s family. Big windows were letting in the twinkling lights of the city outside, the inky sky making them look brighter against its canvas.

“You have a beautiful home,” you say, although it seems a little formal for the situation. What else do you say to a grown-up in their house?

“Thank you,” he takes a bottle of whiskey from the bar cart and pours two rock glasses, handing you one. He flicks on a lamp, ambient light filling the room and painting his skin amber orange, as he joins your side by his kitchen table.

“I did a lot of the construction myself, the decorations are my daughter.” He points lazily to the trinkets on the shelves and photos on the wall. “I don’t really have a good eye for that type of stuff.” 

You take a sip from the drink and it coats your throat, burning down as you suppress a cough at the taste. You nod along as he explains the design choices he made in the home, and you play along, knowing it’s likely out of anxiety.

“What about upstairs?”

Your eyes are innocent as they meet his, although you understand the implication you’re making whole-heartedly. He puts his glass down on the kitchen table and you follow his lead, his strong hand around your wrist as he leads you up the stairs wordlessly.

“It’s not anything,” - he clears his throat - “special,” he shows you around the second floor, finishing at the door of his bedroom that has been left slightly ajar. 

You step in quietly, leading him inside as you take in the bedroom. Neatly folded clothes, a made bed that looks well loved. Blue sheets and fluffy pillows, big bay windows that let the moonlight in.

“I think it’s nice,” you say simply, letting yourself turn around to meet his broad frame. He looks down at you slightly, eyes meeting yours as your hand drops from his grasp and snakes around his neck. His hands come up the sides of your dress, pulling it up slightly, but landing on your waist.

“Is this okay?” He asks tentatively in the dark of the room, his lips so close to yours already you can practically taste the whiskey on his lips for yourself. You answer him by pressing your tentative lips to his, slotting them together easily.

Joel’s grip on your waist tightens momentarily as he takes you in, pulling you as close as he possibly can. He can smell the perfume on your neck and the wine on your lips from earlier, and it’s making his need for you increase tenfold. 

You pull him into you as you stumble back to let your knees hit his mattress, sitting down and letting your hands come to his belt buckle. Your hands came to undo it as he pulled his t-shirt off to throw onto the floor beside him, bending down to help you pull the dress over your shoulders to meet his t-shirt.

You made quick work of his jeans, pushing them to the ground and looking up at him with a keen glance. You could see the breath making his belly rise and fall, anticipating your touch on him any second.

When your hand wrapped around the base of his cock, his breath hitched and his head rolled back. He was already half-hard only from kissing you, so a few pumps made him easily ready for your mouth.

“You’re so big,” is all you can think to say, head spinning from the sheer size of him right in front of your face. Your mouth watered at the way his hand palmed through your hair, pulling you in closer to him for some relief.

It was intoxicating to him, the way your mouth fit around his cock. Such a beautiful sight to see, your head licking and sucking at his tip, gathering spit there to lubricate him. His knees were going weak as he watched intently, no thought able to cross his mind, other than maybe how long it had been since he’d had anyone to do this with. He was going to have to pace himself if it was all like this.

Your mouth constrained around the length of him, taking him deeper and deeper with every bob of your head. Filthy sounds were filling the room now, of your eager mouth pulling him in as best you could. His hand stayed steady at the back of your head, not pushing, just softly pressed there for support. His other hand found your shoulder, pushing down your bra strap.

“God, darlin’,” was all he could choke out, using his hand to pull you off of him. Your hand lazily stroked him as you looked up at him, spit collecting at the corners of your mouth. “I’m not gonna last long if you keep doin’ that,” his laugh eased some of the tension in the room, as you took your other hand and wiped the spit away.

He leaned down, pressing a fervent kiss to your lips before using his own hands to unclasp your bra and let your breasts free. His lips traveled to the side of your neck, before he was kneeled down between your legs, sucking your nipple into his mouth. He lapped at you, all consuming, as his hand came up to grasp the other breast that wasn’t being serviced. He moaned at the noises you were making, lewd whines into the night air that only encouraged him. 

His lips made their way down your body to your clothed centre, your back against his soft sheets. You looked down at him intently, watching as he pulled your panties down your legs and immediately delved into your pussy with broad strokes of his tongue.

Your body jerked upwards at the contact, hand fisting the sheet beside you as he lapped at you, like a man starved. His expert tongue found your clit easily, sucking and licking at you for what felt like hours. You thought about his heavy cock between his legs, begging to be touched, hard as ever as he licked at you desperately.

“Joel,” you whined out, feeling your hand reach down to grab at his curls and push him deeper into you. That only made him moan, one hand lazily fisting his cock as the other came up to dip a finger into you, allowing you to see stars when you screwed your eyes shut.

His fingers were so large, pressed into your core as you fucked yourself on them and his tongue in tandem. He was groaning and grunting, and you hoped his neighbours couldn’t see into the window at the desperate filth that was going on in his bedroom.

“Fuck, Joel, please,” you begged, but he had no mercy, and your orgasm was creeping up on you. He was ready to watch you come undone, pushing a second finger into you and furiously sucking on your clit. His other hand left his own pleasure and wrapped around your breast, pressing and playing with the hard nub there, pinching to provide a little bit of sting to it. It was sending you into another dimension.

“Come for me, sweetheart,” and his voice is gravely and debauched, enough to send you into your first orgasm, chanting his name and pulling on his hair. He was happily licking at you, fingers still pressing in and out as to not mess up the rhythm, as you rode out your orgasm against his face. 

When you started to come down, he finally detached himself from you before standing up between your legs and pressing his broad palms to your thighs. He stayed there for a moment, cock still hard and heavy between his legs as you gazed up at him, out of breath from his work.

“You’re really good at that,” was all you could think to say, head clouded with arousal. You moved up on the bed a little, opening your legs and pressing your knees apart to show your pussy to him again.

“Please fuck me, Joel,” you breathe out, letting your hand find your own clit to rub it teasingly for him. It was still so sensitive, but the way he was looking down at you, eyes dark and stormy with need, you could almost come again just from that.

He put a knee down on the bed and crawled on top of you, his lips finding yours once again as your hands found his face. You held him there, savouring the kiss as his tongue crashed against yours, all warmth and spit and the taste of you. His hand found your breast and continued to play with your nipples, softly, coaxing more moans into his mouth from yours.

He leaned back and slipped his cock inside of you, filling you up immediately and making you gasp. He groaned into the side of your neck, tonguing the side of your ear and kissing you feverishly as he pumped in and out of you.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him impossibly close, your moans filling the room as he rocked in and out of you. He kissed your jaw and chest, before reaching down between your bodies and pressing his thick finger to your clit again, using the wetness there to draw circles around your sensitive nub.

“So pretty,” he smiles into your neck, your hand on the back of his, playing with the now-sweaty strands of hair on the nape. “So pretty for me, taking my cock,” the dirty talking is welcome as he continues to bring you closer to a second orgasm, your breath hitching once again.

“Come inside of me,” you say it like a whisper, a secret in the stillness of the room, and Joel is unsure he even heard you correctly.

“Are you sure?” He says it not accusingly, but in a way that conveys he feels like he just won the lottery.

“Yes, please, fill me up.”

You can see the way his eyes darken more, shifting so he’s on his knees and using your body to fuck himself on his thick cock. His hand continued to play with your clit, bringing you so close to your orgasm that tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. His cheeks were getting hot as he thrusted in and out furiously, and you could almost see the stress melt off of his face as he came close to his own undoing.

The white-hot feeling washes over you once again, eyes shutting before you’re back on your elbows and watching intently. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire as his thrusts become sloppy, your name pouring out of his lips like a prayer. You’re clenching around him and letting him ride out his high alongside you, slowing after his hot cum coats your walls and leaves you full of him.

He collapses on top of you, cock softening inside as you both catch your breath together. Your chests are sticky with sweat as you breathe, taking in the smell of him, and the feel of his warmth on your body.

He pulls himself from you and flops beside you, still taking a moment to admire you. You look over at him, a lazy smile on your face as your hand reaches out to caress the skin of his chest. He takes the time to run his fingertips up your arms and back as you lay there in silence together, just soaking in the moment in a post-sex glow.

“I guess I should get going,” you say after a few beats, sitting up to grab your dress off the floor. You cringe at the thought of throwing your underwear on and leaving, this being just another random hookup for you that never lead to anything. Joel was sweet.

A confused look spreads across his features and his brows knit together, before sitting up next to you at the edge of the bed.

“I mean, I don’t know how these things usually go,” he laughs, as his hand finds your lower back. “But you don’t gotta run outta here like a scared animal or somethin’.”

You look up at him again, unsure of what to do next. In your, albeit limited, experience with dating app hookups, you were expected to leave pretty much right after.

“Oh, um,” you look around the room at the soft worn-in sheets and the TV across from Joel’s bed. You take a look at him again, your eyes meeting his to match his gaze, where you can tell he’s mentally begging that you’ll stay the night.

“I mean, if you don’t mind, I’d be happy to stay.” Joel smiled lopsidedly and let his hand rub soothing circles at your lower back. 

“I’ll make it worth your while,” he laughs, stepping over to go into the bathroom and warm up a cloth for the mess spilling out from between your legs. “I wouldn’t mind wakin’ up and doing all that again tomorrow.”

You laugh and lay back onto his bed as he presses the warm cloth to your pussy, his lips once again finding yours to pull you in for a sweet kiss. 

You nod, sliding between the comfortable sheets as Joel runs downstairs to grab your abandoned drinks as well as a couple of bottles of ice cold water. He slips into the sheets next to you, not bothering to throw on any pajamas (not that you were complaining), and settling in beside you. After a few gulps of water, you nestled into his chest and let your hand find his tummy, resting on it as you listened to the even pattern of his breath.

“We should do this again. Like, after tomorrow morning.” you say quietly as you’re drifting in and out of sleep. His fingertips continues to slide across your arm and give you goosebumps as you snuggled closer into him, hearing a laugh exhale out of his nose and feeling a kiss press to the top of your head. 

In his sleepy, deep southern drawl, he replies. “Don’t have to ask me twice, darlin’.”

[i-may-be-an-emu]

TELL ME ABOUT THE MEN!!!!!!

HELLO!!!

GLADLY :DD

THE MEN. :)

They’re called shoot from the hip (sfth) and are @shootimpro on youtube, tiktok, instagram, facebook, x/twitter, Bluesky, as well as on linktree, patreon and ko-fi.

(Hi just a note that I’ve updated this post a bit :))

They’re London based but have done shows outside london like in Scotland (Edinburgh Fringe) and even to Spain. They want to hopefully go to other countries in the future too!!

From left to right they’re Sam, Tom, AJ and Luke :)))

Ok, so. They do improvised comedy and their shows have two halves (generally with a break in the middle) they play lots of short drama games in the first half and then improvise 20-30 minute (on average) plays in the second half, sometimes with another game at the end.

The plays are so much fun (they’ve got 43 of them up on youtube so far!! (< updated January 2025)) and they’ve also released three full specials (full shows) which you can find on their channel :)

For a few of the older ones (apart from the first one) they were filming on an iphone and just projecting their voices, so the the audio and image quality can be hard to deal with (but all their videos are subtitled by the AMAZING volunteer subtitlers!!!) the older videos are well worth watching, though!!!

They have SO MUCH CONTENT because during covid they did zoom-style improv shows with eachother and you can watch those as a patreon. (To find out what else you get with patreon go to my pinned post :))

They also have SO MANY VIDEOS that are just the regular public ones!!!! They upload short ones of the games and some 5-10min ones of the games too, as well as the long forms (plays)

Now some info about the guys :D

Samuel Thomas Russell-Holmes:

Birthday 21st July 1989 (35)

Married this year and expecting a baby!!! :)

wears a red flannel a LOT (less recently, but still a LOT, it’s his Thing)

he says some very risky things sometimes but also has the audacity to look shocked when the others do it lol

Fav colour is green

he’s 5”10

brown eyes

currently producing a radio show for the bbc called wing it (available in December!)

if he were a Disney Princess he said he’d be Rapunzel

VERY GOOD AT ANIMAL (specifically goat/sheep) NOISES

initiates kisses with the others a lot (all of them do but I’ve counted and he kisses Luke the most and initiates kisses with all of them the most overall) (in the videos they’ve posted at least))

great at talking in Spanish gibberish, often paired with opening his shirt buttons

loves fantasy things

interested in Greco Roman mythology

wrote an audiobook called “Evergreen”

his mother and grandfather are/were successful actors

Has a drama degree

Low spice tolerance

has eaten raw egg live on camera

likes to cook

Thomas Mayo-Woodman/Hodgson-Mayo:

HES SO TALL (this man is almost 2m tall- he’s 6”5.5 :0)

brown eyes

his birthday is 10th July 1989 (35)

Married to a drag king (@pipdream on insta, tiktok, youtube, ect.) whose pronouns are they/them (they’re an icon and we love them)

Wrote a graphic novel (it’s called Future it’s about space lesbians)

literally one of the sweetest and kindest souls on this planet I’ve never met him but every time he says anything it’s like WOW OK YOURE SO NICE AND KIND AND WONDERFUL (everything I’ve heard from people who’ve met him is SO NICE)

SO GOOD AT IMPROVISING (specifically Shakespearian-style) MONOLOGUES

his favourite colour is red

has two english degrees (very good with grammar and words)

has adhd

makes a garbled choking noise very well (you have to hear it to get what I mean I guess lol)

has eaten a teabag live on camera

He’s referred to as the “dad” of the group a bit

Very hard to make him laugh on stage (but he’s been laughing more, recently!!) and each one is treasured

He’s so kind did I mention he is so kind

lovingly called a squid or squidboi by the fandom because of one time (a few times actually) he like stuck his hands in his sleeves and was like “I’m a squid”

does a lot of admin work for sfth and handles the finances (at least he did, they might have someone for that now I’m not sure) and takes care of the patreon

Makes a lot of spreadsheets

DID I MENTION HOW NICE AND KIND HE IS

Alexander Thomas Jeremy (AJ):

Birthday on 4th November 1991 (32)

CONFUSION KING /aff (he gets confused easily but we love him for it)

He’s bald and gets made fun of for it RELENTLESSLY (again, lovingly)

Absolutely ANGELIC singing voice

Blue eyes

born in Manchester(UK) but grew up in France (fluent in French)

makes movies/short films on youtube!! He’s working on a new one now and you can find them @lofi_film25 on youtube (that’s also his film insta)

does a lot of the editing for sfth and has a lot of input into which longforms to upload apparently

he’s such a himbo (/aff)

fav colour is blue

He’s 6 foot tall

On their covid livestreams would always forget to get costuming ready “I don’t do costumes” (king <3)

his rapping is BEAUTIFUL (words that barely rhyme at all and make NO sense 😌)

He delivers GREAT one liners

so good at playing children it’s crazy

can do magnificent cartwheels and loves to jump on the others with no warning

lots of muscles but lost an arm wrestle against Tom

Thinks he can’t do an Irish accent but I think it’s pretty good

also has a drama degree

He creates such amazing characters in the longforms

this is more just my opinion but I love his laugh

VOLDEMORT IMPRESSION IS SPOT ON

Luke Christopher Manning

Birthday is the 23rd October 1989 (currently 34 about to be 35)

Hazel eyes

hes not short but he’s the short-EST, 5”7.5

gets made fun of for his height a LOT (lovingly!!)

SO good at accents

so good at playing women

also so good at playing children

such a good actor overall (the only one of them currently perusing acting I believe)

says THE MOST UNHINGED THINGS

people think he’s innocent (somehow) but he’s SO unhinged

took his pants off live on stage (wearing underwear but still lol 😭 he’s a menace)

lives in Spain with his long term girlfriend (can speak very competently in Spanish)

so much attitude in such a small guy (/aff)

sometimes compared to Macaulay Caulkin looks-wise

plays bass guitar in a band

Teaches acting (to kids??) in Spain

also has adhd

also has a drama degree

His favourite film is back to the future I’m pretty sure?

So confident in himself I aspire to be like that

people say he “doesn’t age” and looks really young but I personally think he does look his age

sometimes called “Luke Womanning” as a play on his last name because of how amazing all his female characters are

They’re all really close friends and met at uni and started doing improv around 13 years ago together! Started gaining popularity in 2022 on tiktok and are gaining more and more fans every day!

Um. Whoops I wrote a lot lol. (It totally hasn’t been an hour of me just writing this hahahaha)

anyway I love them so much :)))) (as you can probably tell)

anyway!

THANK YOU SO MUCH ANON THIS ASK MEANS SO MUCH TO ME :DDDDD

[fungusgnat444]

König tropes I want to burn with hell fire

sorry for this unprompted rant but some of you guys are starting to ruin my favourite comfort character (CW mentions of noncon/r*pe, mentions of xenophobia, mentions of n*zis, general problematic behaviour, mentions of bad disability/mental health representation)

-1. Casual xenophobia- I’ve lost count of the amount of content that depicts König as a n*zi and I kinda feel like I shouldn’t have to tell you why that’s not ok. These things should not be fetishised and doing this is overall just super ignorant. That’s probably the worst instance of this kind of things but there are a ton of examples. Like a lot of people seem to think that every German speaking country is exactly the same. And to codify him as a German speaker everyone seems to think they can just slap on whatever offensive stereotype they want. As someone who has visited German speaking countries multiple times and knows native German speakers personally, believe it or not not all German men are rude, humourless, cruel, alcoholic perverts who treat women like shit and have a bunch of super fucked up kinks and no understanding of consent. If any of you had ever met someone from this part of the world you’d know that in general they are very polite and friendly people. If you want to use a stereotype there are plenty that aren’t offensive and ignorant that could be fun character quirks (eg. Germans always having to have the windows open, having a sweet tooth, having three different drinks with breakfast (water for hydration, coffee for energy, juice for nutrition. Trust me it’s a whole thing lol), being obsessed with always being on time (also works because he’s in the military) etc.). Like please at least try to be a little respectful. And if you’re going to show him speaking German at least learn the basics. Duolingo is free lol.

2 mental health/disabilities- as someone who actually has autism I think it’s kinda cool that some people have written him as autistic or having adhd etc. but if you’re going to do this can you please just do a little research so you get the symptoms right and not over generalise. Like autistic people can in fact understand humour and sarcasm most of the time we’re not robots. It’s 2024 like can we stop this trope please. A lot of people write him having anxiety or ptsd, which again I think is super cool but it’s often used as an excuse for him being aggressive/violent. Like this isn’t cute, if someone is treating you like this regardless of if they struggle with mental health or not there’s never an excuse for violence.

3 r*pe/non con- this point is kinda about fanfic in general but I see it a lot with könig especially. People need to understand the difference between a cnc kink and just plain assault. Cnc is a consensual agreement with safe words and boundaries and aftercare and mutual enjoyment. What most of these fics say is cnc is literally just him being a sexual predator. For a lot of people this is super triggering and romanticising r*pe is just disgusting.

again sorry for the rant guys but I really just needed to get this off my chest. Like this stuff has gotten in the way of my own writing and is really starting to ruin the appeal of his character. Like I beg of you can someone please write something where he’s just a sweet anxious Austrian guy who’s kind and respectful despite his reputation? Like I really don’t think I’m asking for much.

[unnaturalequilibrium]

Capítulo 2 & 3

- Mafin rewatch (Sueños de Libertad)

Watching the de la Reina siblings is a hoot. It's all so deliciously dysfunctional. Damian's three porcelain dolls, all dressed up and filled with generational trauma. How could that not be fun to watch?! I enjoy that Marta is the action oriented one of them. The boys bicker, but she refuses to play their game, instead tries for a solution and an action forward. It’s notable that both brothers turn to her as if her agreement, her word actually holds sway. They’re already making a point of this being a man’s world, but these men, even if it’s a means to play out each other, hang on her word and give it weight.

I’m kind of sad Jesús is such a right villain, because I enjoy him and Marta together. They play off each other well and you instantly get the nuances between them, making it super easy to envision how things were before Andrés return. The way they’ve kept that business afloat, probably stood side by side against their father on a number of occasions. I feel like they’ve kept each other alert, maybe a bit too guarded, but also with a sense of mutual respect despite all of the other muddled feelings of jealousy and resentment and old-fashioned sibling rivalry. In a world where Jesús wasn't such an evil man I think this could have been one of my favourite relationships on the show, if they'd taken the time to develop it more. Especially in the way she yields to him in the beginning and how her character growth comes into play later on.

Carmen is the boss you want to have before she’s even anyone’s boss. The way she is straightforward and stands up to Marta for her own and her fellow workers sake and safety. I wish she was my workplace Union rep. She’s such a competent lady and I'd gladly line up behind. But why throw fucking caveman Tasio around her neck like a noose I’ll never understand. Though I’m getting ahead of myself, or ahead of the show at least.

I mean seriously, what’s up with that opening credit?! Of all the characters, they get a two shot. In bed. The two of them who at this point in time have nothing to tie them together. A flimsy string of connection through fathers, through work. I wasn’t here from the start, but I assume they were shipped from day one? Granted by my arguing maybe Gaspar and Tasio should be shipped too, but at least those two aren't in bed together. And no, don't enlighten me if there are people who do ship them. Some things I'd rather go through life without knowing. This would be one of those.

Lol, Luz is so no-nonsense as she saves Damian's life. “Stop praying and let me stab him with a giant needle, you rich fools!”. Her and Begona sharing the medical field and a bit of empathy with each other is nice too. An ensemble cast that is balanced between men and women seldom leave room for a lot of female friendship, but this one does. I appreciate that.

Fina establishing from the very beginning what she thinks of men, and especially the fool ones like Carmen's deadbeat boyfriend. I feel you. And I am in love with the way she throughout all the episodes to date will be used as a way of voicing what the tired lesbian feminist in all of us wishes she could say, out loud.

If trolls exist, you know like proper giant ones, the kind that can be mistaken for a mountain, covered in moss and trees and then suddenly just opens its eyes and stands up to stretch. You know the kind of trolls you think of when listening to Grieg's In the Mountain King's Hall - yeah those. I imagine if they existed then they'd sound exactly like a sickly Don Damian, like a melodic stone avalanche. That said I’ve never envision mountain trolls to sound Spanish before now. But maybe that’s on me.

Joaquín is a bit of an ass, calling Fina (and the rest of them) lazy - my eyes are narrowed. It wasn’t actually something he developed when he got on my shitlist by flirting with the secretary while having a cute as a button wife or pointing a gun at Marta. Apparently the assery was a pre-existing condition. It’s interesting though that Luis is the one talking about taking over the company, yet he still comes off as the decent one of them.

“You don’t notice the boys?”- Petra, you blonde little snake, don’t call my Fina out like that. Maybe we're allowed to know she's a lesbian, but don't flaunt it in front of the entire canteen like that. It’s kind of funny though how Fina is so clear about Luis not being her type, yet there are so many common denominators between him and Marta both in personality and in physicality (except of course the most important one in this case, their sex).

I know he’s supposed to be one of the good guys, but honestly, Andrés is a bit of a douchebag, isn’t he?! Or maybe that's a bit harsh, but he comes across as pretty smarmy. He's like what the wall behind your stove would be if anthropomorphised, kind of greasy, kind of sticky and in constant need of being hosed down. But yay for not letting the roof drop on your employees, I guess.

[melrosing]

I think Tywin is what happens when a aristocratic upper-class white Englishman makes his family the Nazi party. I mean my guy out here has such a stiff upper lip he had no bottom lip it’s just a line and all because his dad was jolly like Santa. If he was here his least favourite holiday would be Christmas and his favourite bonfire night where he tells all the children about guy Fawkes death.

I think the thing about Tywin is he's less interested in appealing to the populace than your average dictator tends to be, who generally seem more desperate to be liked. Tywin has pretty nasty politics and plenty of warcrimes under his belt, but i don't think he cares to be liked, he's too insular for that. the reason I think horrible upper class English dad is more to do with his immediate family dynamics e.g.

the emotional constipation where crying is weak and love is weak and the deep deep seated shame, but shame for all the wrong things. like lbr so much of what drives Tywin is shame. shame of his father of his children and deep down of himself!!! english.

very much a 'children should be seen and not heard' kind of guy, he wants children as avatars of his power but sees no point in engaging w them as people. sidenote I think England despises children and near always has and that's been passed from the upper class downwards. but another time

yes Tywin has daddy issues but have you considered the mummy issues. the obsession he has with his father's mistress is in part because she's encroaching on their late mother's position. so what exactly does it mean when Tywin marches her naked through the streets. and how does Joanna fit into all this?? ask yourself. anyway I think mummy issues are baked into upper class men like im pretty sure there are Books about this

also the weird psychosexual relationship with his children generally.... deeply English

I don't think Tywin believes in a superior race beyond his own family, though it's unclear what exactly he thinks House Lannister has to be proud of lmao WHAT have they even achieved in the recorded histories besides sitting on a goldmine. nah he just has a deep conviction that he is in precisely the place he ought to be and is obsessed with his own heraldry and won't even marry outside the family he marries his own cousin who looks just like him.... English

a penchant for doing horrific things in a tidy little way. and then going see now wasn't that efficient?

also sidenote on guy fawkes, tywin would be so gratified by how horrifically that guy failed lol. idk if it was just my catholic education but generally i grew up seeing guy fawkes as a hero who never was LMAO I guess Tywin would take the polar opposite pov

[crispy6usiness]

For the OC asks: 3 & 19 for Wis and Hazel

YAAY time for fairy men talk <3

3. What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?

Hazel (and Minerva!) started out as minor backstory characters for their kids (who were the main characters of the story). Really they were more like concepts than characters!! Their entire thing was that they had already saved the world, which set the stage for the plot, but they didn’t have a purpose in the story beyond that. I decided that they should probably have designs anyway muuuch much much later which forced me to think about what their personalities might be

Hazel ended up being a kind of typical chivalrous knight-king for his very princess-y princess daughter, and he was supposed to die to further the plot LOL but the thought of killing off this fancy fairy man made me so intensely sad I had to rewrite everything to fix it 

Anyway I eventually realized that Hazel & Minerva were so much more charming and interesting than their kids so now they’re the main characters and their kids are hardly plot relevant LMAO

Wis I think came design-first? I remember wanting a tiny pixie with a pointy hat and a default mii face SPECIFICALLY but in these first few sketches his smug personality is already kinda there lol

I knew from the beginning that wis was going to be pixie royalty and he was going to join Minerva and Hazel's party so everything else came from that. Like why would this guy leave his fortress home when everything in the outside world wants to eat him. Is he stupid

19. What is your general favourite thing about the character? What is your least favourite?

My favourite Hazel fun fact is that he wears all the jewelry for self defence. It all doubles as a weapon. You see him and all of his precious jewels and you’re like wow that is a very fancy rich man but at any moment he is ready to take off his rings and start chucking them at people. How do I even choose something to dislike about Hazel uhhhhh I guess he’s a little less fleshed out than the rest of the cast so I can’t make a character playlist for him yet lol

I love Wis’s design…!!! Conical man. He takes himself so so seriously but he is dressed so silly. I think I also did a good job avoiding making him look super young which was important to me, he's just a very small man. Wis is also just a really interesting little guy and he’s related to a lot of the plot beats that make me the most excited to tell the story. Least favourite thing about Wis is that I can’t talk about any of the cool aspects of his character because I don’t wanna spoil my own damn story 

[stanlunter]

i have an honest question for you. this is not meant to be a gotcha or accuse you of homophobia, just based on observing your post history of wlw vs wlm ships out of curiosity.

are there any wlw ships in cartoons that you actually do like the portrayal of?

Thanks for a question!

And yes, obviously. Actually, I posted a lot about them, so It's strange if you haven't seen it, but yeah. I understand where your answer is coming from since I do critic some wlw media and made a post about a wlw dynamic I don't like. Tbh, It's a problem for me too, bc I don't get enought of my "wlw ships type" in media and that's basically why Im complaining about it, bc every It's either bad-written or is so cliche that's it even boring. Also the problem is that I do love wlm ships as well and a lot of people say that "wlw is always better than wlm" even tho there are many good and bad examples of both of them and I think It's wrong to say smth is better just bc It's queer, even tho I am wlw myself. The "critic" wasn't towards wlw, but towards the most popular dynamic (sun x moon) that I don't like and the way people ignore others dynamics just for this one is sad to me, since bc of it I don't have enought representation of wlw ships I love, bc all of them either don't become a couple, or break up, or one of them dies (or all of these at the same time) and almost all ships that became canon have that dynamic I dislike. And at the same time it was also a joke bc It's actually true that like 80% of all wlw ships are basically the same, so It's funny to hear from their fans that all wlm ships are the same

"Are there any wlw ships in cartoons that you actually like the portray of?"

Do you mean canon or fanon?

As someone who generally in like 90% of the cases prefers fan ships over canon ones, regardless of if it's wlw, wlm or mlm, I obviously have much more fanon or half-canon favourite wlw ships, including those, where one of the characters is dead, there are some I like:

My favourite wlw ship and spop otp of all time is Scorptra. I absolutely adore everything about it and I really think they should have been stayed in Crimson waste. Some years ago I had a huge fixation on it and tbh, if I've discovered Tumbler to myself at that time, my acc would definitely be full of them and I would call myself "stanscorptra", lol. And the fact that they didn't become canon for the sake of the ship I hate - catradora, makes it even worse to me. (Scorpia x Catra from She-ra and the princess of power)

Yumihisu. That's my favourite ship from aot, Im actually glad It's popular in the fandom. I really love everything about them and the way they ended up is actually heart-breaking. In the finale of s2 I actually wanted to start killing people just bc Ymir decided to help Rainer and Berth instead od staying with Historia. And every time I rewatch it, I feel the same, bc they did have a chance to be happy together at least for some years.

It's basically canon and it was confirmed that they both love each other, but since Ymir died, I'm not sure if it is considered as actually canon since they werent actual dating (Ymir x Historia from Attack on titan)

Nanichiru, or whatever name they have, bc the fandom still hasnt decided it.

That was one of my first anime ships, I even thought It's canon and basically when I saw them together, I thought Nana is canon lesbian, which was so clear to me when I compare her with men and her with Michiru. Idk if they supposed to be "just friends", or wlw-coded, but I do consider them as a half canon anyways, bc, let's be real, if one of them was a guy, everyone would know It's canon. I absolutely love their dynamic and the way their relationship affected Nana and made her doubt her goal and actually understand that some of the people with talents are good people. Michiru changed everything for Nana and was her light in the dark, but ofc, how it always is, they didn't develop relationship and one of them died. (Nana x Michiru form Talentless Nana)

Mitsunoa. I am not obsessed with its depth, bc, ngl, they don't have such deep relationship as others, but I do love their dynamic and all of their interactions. Their homoerotic friendship and all the hints make me giggle and if we consider Mikayuu as "basically canon", than I will consider Mitsunoa as basically canon too (especially after the bath scene), bc these girls deserve the best things and they are the best things for each other. (Mitsuba and Shinoa from Seraph of the end)

Togachako. I still haven't finished the manga, so I'm not sure about what heppend with them in the end, I've only seen some spoilers. But I do love their enemies to lovers dynamic, which, unlike some other ships of this trope, isn't a romantization of abuse, but actual enemies to lovers. I doubt it has chances to actually become canon. But I still love the way their relationship was written. Uraraka is the only one who thinks Toga is cute and a pretty girl, not just a crazy monster. I absolutely love the line when she says Toga that she's the cutest girl in the whole world. I love that Toga says her feelings for Uraraka are real and that she made her happy. Toga sees her as basically a comfort person (??), someone who's love and appreciation she wants to get, someone who can save her from the hateness to herself and the world. I just want Toga to be happy with someone who can see her. Also, have you seen how mangaka draws them together?? He's either their biggest shipper, or a queerbaiter, Idk (Toga x Uraraka from My hero academy)

Also Ruby x Penny from Rwby, Webby x Lena from Duck Tales, Perfuma x Huntara from she-ra, Anne and Sasha from Amphibia, Sunset x Sci-Twi from Equestria girls, Sae-Byeok x Ji-Yeong form Squid game and others

As for canon ships, there are fewer ones, but yeah, I do have favourite wlw ships that are canon:

Menokari. Their relationship is really beautiful, It's actually similar to Nanichiru, but is gayer. I found it thanks to Talentless Nana as well, and Im glad I did. It may be seems too cliche for some people, but I think It's adorable, dramatic and well-writen. Definitely my favourite wlw anime (Menou x Akari from The Executor and her way of living)

Ellieriley. Unfortunately there are not enought scenes with them, but those we have is enought for me to love them. Riley was Ellie's first love and probably her lesbian awaking. I love their dynamic so much and I want to see more of them and I wanted them to live a happy life. I do like Ellie x Dina too, but I love her relationship with Riley much more. Riley's death has broken my heart. But at least I'm glad that they did have a kiss scene before it, that's why I do consider it as canon, unlike Yumihisu, since a lot of people for some reason are still arguing over it (Ellie x Riley from The last of us)

Spinetossa. Even tho this ship is far not the main one, I love it much more than the main canon ones. Netossa cares about her wife so much. They know each other for so long and still love each other so much. They're so cute and so sweet, that I was worrying for their relationship during s5 the most. And It's funny how Chaggie fans use "they're together for a long time" to justify the fact that Vivziepop has written them so poorly and that they look more like just friends, just bc of that, since these two exist and they actually do look like a married couple, not like just friends (Spinerella x Netossa from She-ra)

Harlivy

I ship these two in every universe. Even tho the Harley Quinn show has flaws, I still love their dynamic, yeah, even despite it being "one of those I have brought up in that post", I still ship them and think they're cute. I love that Harley has fully recovered from her relationship with Joker and that Ivy has found her true love, someone she can spend the rest of her life with (Harley x Ivy from Harley Quinn show and DC comics/cartoons)

Korrasami

I never was one of those people who say Korrasami was rushed. Yeah, the creators couldnt fully show them in the show, but they did in the comics and I haven't seen anyone who has read them and said they're bad-written. The comics show them so well, It's amazing, healthy and one of the best wlw representations I've seen! (Korra x Asami from The legend of Korra)

Obviously, that's not all of them, but those I love the most. Some of other canon wlw couples I love are: Bubblegum x Marcelin from Adventure time, Apple x Darling from Every after high, Haruka x Michiru from Sailor moon, Utena x Anthy from Revolutionary girl Utena, Kirari x Sayaka from Kakegurui, Ruby x Sapphire form Steven Universe, Vi x Caitlyn from Arcane, Sara x Nyssa from Arrow and Jennifer x Needy form Jennifer's body (I know the last two are not animated, but I still wanna include them)

So, yeah, there are a lot of wlw canon and popular ships I dislike or critic, which isn't because I hate wlw, but bc I love it and want it to be written better and be more various, than just "sun x moon", since there are a lot of so different wlm and mlm dynamics, while for wlw It's almost always either the same, or is just problematic, like Catradora. Tbh, as far as I remember, the only wlw ships I wrote bad things about were Lumity and Catradora, besides that post, so I don't know why exactly you thought it means I dislike all or most of the wlw ships, but I don't anyways

[lacesoflove]

I just want to add that I definitely feel aged out of not only the fandom but also the content. idk but before it felt like the appeal was watching these two adult men play games/hang out and their friendship really shined through- it felt really comforting like you were hanging out with friends at a sleepover or something. now I feel like they censor themselves a lot to cater to a younger audience, and their humor seems more immature/brain rot rather than witty. like the hawk tuah jokes STILL and the nettspend bit just are so long and unfunny at this point. I feel like if tiktok actually shut down they would run out of references so fast and have not a lot of jokes left...but they didnt use to be that way their old videos were quite funny. but they are growing a lot now so whatever they are doing is working.

also the slushy noobz fans are really annoying and remind me of kpop fans. I think its because all of their content is honestly quite innocent- similar to kpop stuff. its just them playing games, doing mukbangs, going out to do mundane things, etc. they also make sure to not talk badly about women or make crude jokes that would give their teenage girl audience the ick. it doesnt help that hamzah is really ambiguous about who he would date or his dating life so it allows fans to self insert and feel like they really have a chance (also hes not stupid and definitely does this on purpose lol cus he knows he has teenage girls as a fanbase that you don’t want to lose the interest of). the way they baby these grown ass men remind me of kpop stans as well.

anyway yeah I stopped watching a few months ago and claire/chase are so unfunny it actually hurts. you are right about everything u said too. ignore the bitter fans

i first wanna say to all the people that sent messages saying i’m spamming or doing to much, clearly i’m not because since i made my initial post (and as well as one of my mutuals made a post on their patreon) there’s been a floodgate of slushies sharing their opinions too (lengthy opinions mind you) - clearly i’m not?

also i literally used to spam so much when i was writing for hamzah and asking the community for suggestions and shit but now i’m spamming about criticism, that’s constructive, mind you, my expression of disappointment with my favourite creators being linked to me having recent mental health issues and receiving the general implication that i’m just hysterical is so…?

anyways, the people who are tired of the “discourse” are free to block me, i get it too - but i hope you guys can at least emphasise why some of the community are upset instead of writing it off as “the woke left getting in a tizzy”

but i get the aged out thing, and it’s insane to say that when i’m 18. freshly 18 too mind you. i so get you when you say if they lost access to tik tok their jokes would ran out - i feel like their old humour could stand on their own, and yes, of course, a big part of their humour was brainrot stuff too but it felt less like they were trying to drag out the latest brainrot joke of the week (pls im so tired of the nettspend shit, they must let it rest abeg) but rather just felt like two friends who were making really funny, as well as insightful, jokes. i feel like a lot of their old humour was beyond the scope of just being tik tok references but it just felt more like they were quoting pop culture in general.

and yes they’re def giving kpop boy group 😭 like the minute they revealed they had a team behind them (side note, i thought that little appreciation montage they did for their team was rlly sweet) a lot of stuff makes sense. like esp with hamzah’s like singleness, regardless of whether or not he actually is, it definitely is a ploy to get teenage girls to self insert as their fans (ngl a smart move tbh) 😭

[milekael]

Favourite and least favourite royai trope?

I already answered here so I will come up with some different answers!!

For thing I like! This is more a general read on Royai, but what I think makes it work sooo well as an M/F pairing is that FMA knows how to engage with a characters gender identity and the way that influences them. I think is something a lot of people fall through, specially when going to something as normative as M/F because they just assume is... normal, is basic so they don't have to touch this subject. But even if its just subtext/bg information, you can see that both Roy and Riza have a particular relationship with their gender and how that makes them interact with the other (Insert panel that says "Relationships between men and women are complicated, right lieutenant?" here) BUT ALSO. Their relationship exist in other terms and is not just based around that. Basically this makes them full characters and when you make them interact and how gender also plays into their relationship and perceptions of each other is when it is actually interesting SDFGHJK

This is to say I huh really like when fanfic really explore this! I am a fan over reading how Berthold saw Riza, how basically he set her up with Roy, almost like giving her to him like an object. He took her sexual autonomy too considering she cannot get naked with anyone in fear they will grab the Flame Alchemy formula. I am also Roygender so I also think there are a lot of interesting things to touch with him. Idunno if anything here makes sense LOL

NOW FOR SOMETHING I DON'T LIKE mmm not a trope trope but something that is just normal to see in fanfics. But huh. I don't like when AUs make them meet as adults DFGHJK LIKE my thing about it is that sure, you can change a lot of the situations they get into, maybe they don't go to war, but I think what makes Royai very fundamentally Royai is the whole... shared past that devolved into codependency that ended up in Riza deciding to follow Roy's stupid, naive ideas. I think what makes Royai very juicy is that they have this shared history U know? and when you take it out I just feel like these are fundamentally different characters.

AND I'LL SAY two of my top favorite AU fanfics ARE LIKE THIS and I really really like them!! is just. Again, I read them and I think these are two different characters that are based on/heavily take on Roy and Riza but you took out what makes me think of Royai as Royai ASDFGHJ

[logaenhowlett]

GET TO KNOW YOUR MUTUALS

Thanks for the tag @flowersforbucky!

BLOG TITLE ORIGIN? pretty self-explanatory lol

FAVOURITE FANDOMS? x-men, daredevil and criminal minds are my ride or dies, but i hyperfixate on random ones from time to time.

FAVOURITE COLOUR? blue (specifically bluish-grey)

FAVOURITE GAME? super mario bros, mario party or wii sports

SONG STUCK IN YOUR HEAD? can't stop by red hot chili peppers

WEIRDEST HABIT/TRAIT? retaining the most random (possibly useless) facts/information. however, this works out in my favour when playing trivia games!

HOBBIES? i'm very much an outdoorsy person, so playing sports or hiking are up my alley!

IF YOU WORK, WHAT'S YOUR PROFESSION? software engineer (my first big girl job)

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB, WHAT WOULD IT BE? in an ideal world, i'd have no job. just frolicking around, learning/doing whatever the fuck i want - very ancient greek philosopher vibes.

SOMETHING YOU'RE GOOD AT? navigating! i have a strange photographic memory when it comes to directions, so getting lost is a very rare occurrence for me.

SOMETHING YOU'RE BAD AT? listening when people are explaining instructions (it's the best moment to zone out honestly)

SOMETHING YOU LOVE? music. i'd genuinely tweak tf out without it.

SOMETHING YOU COULD TALK ABOUT FOR HOURS? space, the universe or topics that tend to lead to existential crises.

SOMETHING YOU HATE? impatient people

SOMETHING YOU COLLECT? movie ticket stubs and wristbands from concerts/events

WHAT'S YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE? quality time and acts of service!

FAVOURITE MOVIE/SHOW? i have one from each genre, but if i had to pick - community is THE show and the prestige is the greatest movie i've ever seen.

FAVOURITE FOOD? tacos (you can basically bribe me with them)

FAVOURITE ANIMAL? very basic but dogs and cats

ARE YOU MUSICAL? i can play a few instruments!

WHAT WERE YOU LIKE AS A CHILD? quiet, a bit of a troublemaker, had a particular fondness for skateboarding (unsuccessfully)

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? science

LEAST FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? history

BEST CHARACTER TRAIT? i generally remain quite calm under pressure

WORST CHARACTER TRAIT? i'm a procrastinator at heart. i always have been and unfortunately, i always will be.

IF YOU COULD TIME TRAVEL, WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET? my descendants way in the future. seems fun!

Tagging @logansbaby @essas-vault-lmb-areyouwell @elflutter @silversprings-mp3 @mcrdvcks + anyone else who's interested!

[redditreceipts]

Does it seem like transwomen who self describe as feminists are often more misogynistic than ones who don't? Not referring to Blaire White right wing anti feminists, just normies ones. Feel like many of them are more understanding and less obsessed with validation. Whereas ""feminist"" tw deny sexism exists and act like experts on feminism while constantly talking down at actual women.

I think that it's the same reason as to why many women feel safer with centrist or center left-wing men than with far left supposedly feminist guys.

In our society, there is a social stigma towards making certain comments towards a woman. For example, talking about your penis or your sexual fantasies with a woman as a man is traditionally seen as shameful and inappropriate, and doing so anyways is seen as crossing a certain boundary.

Centrist men are generally more concerned about their social standing and not going against the norm because this could negatively impact their social status with other men. Therefore, many centrist men "behave" around women - not because they are not misogynistic or don't want to harass a woman, but because going against societal expectations could endanger their social status.

Left-wing men generally don't derive their social status from following the social norms, but from breaking them; they get cheered on by their friends if they go against societal norms and talk about their kinks and their porn addiction.

Of course, this depends a lot on the specific friend group, because there are of course very misogynistic friend groups out there that encourage that kind of behaviour without being left-wing, but I feel that I as a woman would be a thousand times safer with a center-left dude than with a far left feminist guy who thinks he is brave for talking about his favourite porn category. It's not to say that the center left wing man is necessarily less misogynistic, it's just that I can kinda rely on him not getting a kick out of breaking societal stigma around sex that exist for a reason.

The same thing is true in my opinion for trans women. A trans woman that cares about coming off as "normal" will not try to be as controversial as possible, while a trans woman that believes themselves to be a feminist is more likely to also be super into the whole "sexual liberation" thing.

Also, while Blaire White is of course a misogynist, I wouldn't even say that Blaire is more misogynistic than people like Sophie from Mars or Riley J. Dennis or something. At least Blaire has never told me to suck the girldick lmao. I would also prefer a million times to spend a night in a cabin in the woods with Blaire than with any of these fuckers lol

(Okay I just noticed that I wrote this entire essay without coming to your question, but I think that you have already answered it while asking - the super feminist trans women think that they already know everything, while normie trans women mostly are ready to listen and change their behaviour accordingly. I'm sorry I think I got carried away lol)

[dramatea88]

Kill Me Love Me Episode 14 - 15: Murong Jinghe's really bad week. (Also, he needs lots of therapy)

After the fantastic end to episode 13, I wondered if the next episode could match its intensity. It does, and then some. Some notable moments:

Jinghe's night terrors AKA can we get him a therapist?

Mei Lin sees Jinghe at a vulnerable moment once more as he suffers through a horrible nightmare of the moment he was nearly beaten to death and crippled. So fierce was the dream that it left him trembling for a few good minutes. Again, Mei Lin just quietly does what needs to be done, no fuss as she gathers herbs to help Jinghe sleep. I love her style. She knows that Jinghe doesn't need sweet words but practical help.

Though I have to be amused at his earlier attempts to literally get in bed with her. I thought he would've benefited from a cuddle or two but Mei Lin is having none of that LOL

As usual, this was a great performance from Liu Xueyi and Wu Jinyan.

The best fight I've seen in a while

For one, it has some of the most intense and well done fight scenes done in a Cdrama since forever. I wrote about it in my last post.

A contrast between the princes

Some will question why the writers included that small storyline with Commander Yang of the prison camp and his subordinate. I actually thought it was brilliant - episodes 14 and 15 contrasts how the two princes differ in their treatment of their men.

The Crown Prince does command loyalty, but it's all through deceit. Just like how he deals with all the people in his life, from General Yin to the Emperor, he projects an aura of kindness and benevolence and strikes at his enemies from the shadows when they least expect it. (Luo Mei will be his latest victim 100%.)

His men think that he's a great man but will almost always realise it too late what he really is, as Yang's subordinate finds out. RIP . Commander Yang, I hope you don't get too big a shock in the afterlife when you find out the truth

Meanwhile, Jinghe is the total opposite. He projects an image of a decadent and murderous bastard who is willing to kill people for amusement, but in truth he is kind and loyal to his men. He worries for Qingyan when they separate, and when one of his men died during that massive battle in the bamboo forest he grieved so deeply that Mei Lin and Qingyan had to drag him away.

Both princes command loyalty in their men, but only one is truly loyal to them.

A quiet interlude

So they had to go through hell (well, a snowstorm anyway) to reach an isolated, idyllic village.

Btw can I express my appreciation to the producers for filming in actual places? It was soooo satisfying to see a fight in an actual bamboo forest and a whole village! According to a BTS video, they hardly shot in the studio. After the tense, angsty episodes of 13-15, it's good for our leads (and our brains) to have a vacation lol.

When I saw these scenes in the trailer, I just couldn't imagine HOW Jinghe and Meilin's relationship could've ended up being so ... sweet!

But in episodes 13-15, our couple has seen each other at their worst; they've fought side by side like comrades and they've saved each other numerous times. The next step, love, is 100% more logical than episode's 8-11's cutesy moments. I'm so so glad that my fears about the drama devolving into a frivolous mess didn't come true. And thank god for the intensity of ep 13. This couple really needed that moment.

Anyway, 100% for sure they are going to have a Meet Yourself slice of life time in that village where they connect and ya know, get "heated up".

Darlings, you know what that means, right?

PAIN IS COMING!

My not favourite moments

Xiyan prince is back. WAIIII. I get you need to be second male lead and all, but can you like stop taking up so much screentime? Each time we switch to Xiyan I just legit want to throw a mantao at the TV

[sadlybeans]

My HCs about elven hair traditions - (not really) an essay

OK LISTEN. This has been in my mind for a LONG time as I go about writing my fic series, but I hadn’t written them down (which I should’ve), so I decided to just post them here. Who knows, maybe someone will find it interesting or whatever.

Hair when talking about elven culture has varying degrees of relevance depending on author and the like. Tolkien never outright states anything regarding this (to my admittedly limited knowledge), but seeing as elves are generally depicted with long hair, I chose to make it A Thing, even if it’s not often mentioned, and divided it according to each major elven culture present in Tolkien’s works. (Note: I didn’t add details regarding subcultures bc uh, I’m not nearly smart enough for that.

Without further ado, here it goes!… under the cut lol

Sinda:

The Sinda and Teleri have a lot of overlap since they are technically ‘the same’ and at the same time not. The Sinda are the ones with a more ‘lax’ culture when it comes to hair, in my opinion. Seeing as they prefer nature vastly and much of their lives are spent in nature, they prefer to wear their hair loose -which we observe plenty in LOTR and The Hobbit.

Between them, braids would be done in very simple styles and only if it is required to have their hair gathered for convenience, like for example hunting. Any sort of accesories would be natural, like flowers and wodden hairpins, etc.

When speaking about length, it is far more common for the sinda to wear their hair anywhere from beneath their shoulderblades to mid back, perhaps their waist at the longest. Shorter hair is not common, but not completely unheard of, and would carry little to no negative consequences depending on region and the like.

Sidenote regarding colour -even if it has no correlation with culture-: Most Sindar have dark hair, brown being the majority, and some few have pale blond and silver from their Teleri cousins. As for texture, most of them have straight hair.

Teleri:

As said above, they have similarities with the Sinda in certain parts. For example, there are no consequences regarding cutting. However, the Teleri don’t place importantance on it whatsoever. Plenty of them have shorter hair, or if long, wear it completely gathered both for the hotter weather of the shore, and for simple convenience.

Accessories are mainly pearls, seashells, some pieces of coral, and to a minimum, silver and gold. Pearls are almost exclusively a gift between couples or very close family— brides wear intricate accessories of pearls.

Most Teleri have silver hair or really pale blond. Like the Sinda, they tend to have straight hair, and some have wavy hair.

Vanyar:

The Vanyar are perhaps the ones who have the least concern when it comes to the keeping of their hair. While certainly all of them wear it long, these are unspoken rules that don’t have a strong foundation on why they do it.

Braiding is peculiar in their culture however because the Vanyar have a deeper gender segregation. There are particular styles worn only by men, and others only by women. In a way it can be useful, given many elves have androgynous appearances.

As for accessories, Vanyar don’t wear accessories between their hair, instead wearing elaborate pieces like headbands, crowns, veils, chains, etc.. These don’t have many distinctions between genders, social or marital statues.

All Vanyar have golden hair, with very few having pale blond hair. Most have it wavy or slightly curly, with very few having it straight.

Noldor:

Now this is my favourite part, since it’s the one I’ve worked more at depth.

Hair is very important to the Noldor, seen as a connection with their kin and family, and they are quite possibly the ones who wear it the longest, which in itself is a feat since elven hair grows much slower than human hair. Cutting it is a huge no beyond small trims to keep it manageable, and wearing it loose is severely looked down upon as it can be considered indecent. There are hundreds upon hundreds of acceptable braiding styles, although none are exclusive to gender or status, but naturally the more elaborate are kept for more formal occasions— even the simplest braided styles of a Noldor can sometimes seem overly formal and elaborate to anyone else.

Accessories are divided, although by marital status. Children and ummarried Noldor will wear ribbons, although they can pair them with pins and chains. Beads however are exclusively exchanged between married partners; they can be given in any special occasion such an anniversaries or simply just because, but only married Noldor wear them. Married Noldor may wear ribbons still but never by their own and always paired with their beads.

The vast majority of Noldor have straight black or brown hair, with some very few exceptions such as Finwë (curly hair), Míriel & Tyelkormo (silver), Mahtan, Nerdanel, Nelyafinwë & The Ambarussar (red).

[thecoolerliauditore]

third time getting this ask deleted, i don't think the universe wants my thoughts on fem grian out there :(

i don't even actually have any problem with this interpretation. it's just both very interesting and silly to me. there is a non-insignificant amount of fanwork that emphasizes grian as having a small, thin waist and general petite frame. nothing wrong with that, but deeply amusing as someone who generally doesn't see the c!lifers' human builds as significantly different from their irl counterparts. starting to suspect people don't share my love for middle-aged guys who look like middle-aged guys... maybe i watch too much british comedy.

ultimately i do agree that it's due to grian being more uke-viable than the other two in mumscarian. which is interesting, because you could argue that mumbo shares a lot of the same "effeminate" traits (higher-pitched voice, not a hulking brute force, sneaky and conniving, young, skinny?) which just proves the power of the Guy with Suit and Moustache branding. exceptions to this are when mumbo gets to have a nice long dress, but i still think the way grian gets feminized is different to that.

something else i find interesting is that grian's deception and manipulation (and power?) is sometimes the sole reason for his feminization getting pushed from generic twink to femboy/literal woman. which is something that i don't think i can do justice pontificating about. i mean this less in a "that's kind of misogynistic way" (well, sort of) and more like, ok what kind of psychosexual game of telephone is happening here. martyn or scott don't really get this treatment, despite (imo) both being valid contenders for evil womanification.

does any of this matter? absolutely not. men shipped in yaoi pairs will get interestingly gendered one way or another. it just so happens that a very specific domino effect lead to grian getting hit with the twinkification beam at a disproportional rate to the others. the only factor that is unique to grian in getting twinkified and feminized is the 3px skin. all others are shared (gremlin-ness, shortness, voice, cuteness, youth, being evil?, sneaky, manipulative) ergo it really is the 3px skin difference. thank you for your time.

also sorry if it seemed like i was assuming you were a grian fan, i legitimately wasn't lol i just sent it to you because of aforementioned gender mentions and you general Goodness in talking about fandom meta.

last thing i'll say is i mournfully agree with the menswear section. i do wish that we could combat more against the "men's fashion/design is boring" sentiment in general fandom. character involving menswear is such an untapped treasure trove that it's baffling to me. alas.

oh please don't worry I was just trying to clarify I wasn't knowledgeable on grian, I love discussions like this! I just didn't want to like. yap a whole bunch and then hit you with the "ok so I don't actually watch Grian all that much" (like I genuinely had completely forgotten about Mother Spore)

"psychosexual game of telephone" is very real and I think I'm going to adopt that into my vocabulary from now on. Scott's name being here is interesting because I actively try not to bring him up in every discussion nowadays, but I do think he is also feminized in fanon but in a way very different to Grian.

My Scott design at least I think you could make that argument for since I based alot of him off of my favourite pretty boys/bishounen, with the eyelashes visible and whatnot, but I tried to at least make it somewhat clear that he is a Man. He even kind of got hit with the detwinkification ray the more I drew him.

And idk fanon Scott is like. It's own brand of fascinating to me because I used to see a lot of people claim he was a "fem gay man" and I was like???????? is he???????????? I suppose his masculinity is a very queer brand of masculinity but it still very much reads as masculinity to me. Very "cis gay man" as he says himself. When I see the words "fem gay man" I am not imagining Scott Smajor, that much is for sure.

There's also just not that many Scott artists relative to the rest of the characters but what art I do see of him tends to lean either anime twink. Weight and body type is also a factor here I think is worth exploring but aughhhh shutting up about Scott. Point is I do think he gets his fair share of feminization but it's complicated with him cus you have to factor in him being The Gay One (and the associations people have with that) and his whole persona being very Cute 🌺

But yes yes anyway I do think Mumbo's moustache does him wonders, as does the CC's reputation for being a giant.

And while none of this Really matters I also don't think any of our lives Really matter and I think these trends are interesting so. We may as well have fun studying them. It's times like these where I wish I could have the brazen-ness to just yoink people's art and put them next to their takes about the character to really, really get in there but I'd feel rude 😔

FTR re the whole nothing wrong with it thing I agree! And you can look at this silly thing I drew for April Fools for my opinion on fanon designs and body types. I am a massive hypocrite in a lot of ways and I think sometimes you do just gotta break down the biases that make you view a certain set of traits a certain way and go. Wow okay that's interesting. and just kinda leave.

My Pearl design for example has some misogynistic implications -- hell, all of my designs for the women lifers are on the shorter side. My Pearl is shorter than my Bdubs and Joel who have entire gags surrounding them about being short! CC Pearl is very much not cute moe anime girl, I turned her character into cute moe anime girl. And I'd do it any day. Minus one point for me in the feminism and body positivity categories 😔 and I'd do it again.

It's whatever man. Humans have biases built on millions of years of history and people also have their own individual beliefs and preferences influenced by that history. and I think seeing that show through people's minecraft youtuber designs like little bits and pieces of worldviews is REALLY COOL. and while I'm also a biased human being who has my tastes I genuinely do think this is really fascinating.

Ok sorry this really got away from me can you tell I like this topic lmao. I just think it's really cool when you get unlimited perspectives on a certain set of traits applied onto a very interpretable design like a minecraft skin

Fist bump on the menswear btw. Makes me wanna draw that self-indulgent idea I had awhile back where I just use the lifers as my fashion dolls. Idk I just think Etho would kill in some Japanese techwear

[seriousbrat]

quidditch and class

Okay originally this was a tangent in the tags of my last post but I started thinking about it more and it got too complex haha.

While thinking about quidditch as a sport, we see many very prominent, very talented female players like Ginny, the other Gryffindor Chasers, Gwenog Jones/the Holyhead Harpies, Mullet, Moran. (Notably, Katie, Ginny, and Demelza are all explicitly better than Seamus and Dean. And Ron haha.) As as a sport it's seemingly equal between genders and therefore played in mixed-gender teams, and this is likely explained by the fact that speed is controlled by an external object, the broom. So while what we value in sport and athleticism in the real world has been heavily predicated on what we consider the biological 'advantages' of (cis) men, in Quidditch this is not so much the case.

It may be that certain positions (Beater) are generally more suited to cis men, but it may also be that women excel specifically as Chasers and Seekers, which are after all the key positions on a Quidditch team. If everyone is capable of achieving the same speed (and therefore force) on a broomstick, other factors might come into play, such as flexibility, dexterity, endurance, strategy.

However, the importance of the humble broomstick also means that the sport would be strongly influenced by class. Who can afford the best broom, basically.

It's wild that broom choice in pro quidditch isn't (as far as we know) standardised, but essentially a wealthy team/nation like I guess Ireland lol would have an advantage against a less wealthy team or nation, who couldn't supply Firebolts to all its players. In the case of Ireland I suppose the British Ministry of Magic also possibly governs them (I think? rip? ?) so Ireland would have funding from Britain, presumably.

And to be clear this happens irl too, less obviously perhaps, but wealthier nations will be able to dedicate more resources, better equipment, and better training to their athletes. This is why the US wins so many Olympic medals, not because its people are inherently better or more athletic than other countries with comparable populations, whatever American Exceptionalism would have you believe.

Harry's good without his Firebolt but also it's a little unfair haha. To be fair Ginny's just as good, maybe better than him, with whatever the Weasleys can afford for her. And it's also true that in CoS Malfoy/the Slytherins are still worse than Harry and the Gryffindors, even with better brooms, as I think Wood points out. So it could be that broom choice doesn't matter quite as much as it seems, in the sense that at least the talent of the athlete is the predominant factor in how well any given broom functions. In the flying lesson in PS we see that brooms do respond to some sort of innate talent in the user, so this would make some sense.

Still, in a situation with two equally matched players in terms of talent, the determining factor would likely be broom quality. So it is still important. I assume that JKR just didn't think about this lmao. Which whatever, maybe if HP was a series about sport, not delving into this question would matter more (and by her own admission she designed Quidditch to not make sense.) I'd have to reread Quidditch Through the Ages but it really should have been mentioned there lol. Oh well, not sure how realistic it is for 'Kennilworthy Whisp' to have a class-based analysis of his favourite sport anyway lmao.

For the purposes of worldbuilding I think it's fine for this to be the case, since the WW is not supposed to be a fair, perfect utopia, and like I said this very much happens in real life too. It's interesting to think about though.