#geordie shore imagines

[alottodix]

if South Park was British (lmao) what would the main fours’ favourite insults be. I can so vividly imagine Kyle calling someone a pillock or a knobhead its so funny. I think Cartman

OHHHHH ANON HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU

Okay, so. First, Stan Marsh. He’d definitely be more fond of the blunt ones, the ones that are so simple they’re reflexive for most of the nation – tosser, prick, twat, all of those fun ones. HOWEVER, I also see him having an awesome time with “bloody hell” to portray how fucking fed up he is, like when he does the pinch bridge of nose + look down + very defeated “Jesus Christ” combo in the show. I ALSO IMAGINE HIM BEING SUPER FOND OF HOW BLUNT STUFF LIKE “sod off” IS TO TELL PEOPLE TO LIVE HIM ALONE OR EVEN JUST TO REACT TO DUMB SHIT LIKE THE LITTLE CYNIC HE IS

Now, onto Kyle. Every single time I see the Jersey episode, I mentally have to compare the reality TV show element to shit like Geordie Shore, so if it was a show based in the UK I can only imagine him being Geordie – proper Ant and Dec style. Americans, if you haven’t already, go listen to the accent and tell me it doesn’t have Kyle vibes – it just does. SO, WITH THIS IN MIND, I can totally imagine him whipping out gobshite as an insult, or what a load of bollocks in response to Cartman being an asshole, fun clipped shit like that. There was also a moment of time where I sat down and started plotting a Hogwarts AU, in which I realised I’d have to make these guys vaguely British, and I had such a strong mental image of Kyle jokingly calling Stan a daft git so I feel like he’d love the ones like that – and I agree with anon I think he’d have a lot of fun with knobhead

I feel Kenny would enjoy basically all of them, but for the sake of this dude being muffled as fuck I think he’d get a real kick out of the backwards peace sign – like whenever possible. Also “get stuffed”, for vibes. LISTEN I FEEL I SHOULD BE MORE SCIENTIFIC IN MY METHODS BUT LEAVE ME ALONE LMAO WE GO OFF VIBES HERE

Now, when I think of a British Cartman, I can only imagine a younger Del Boy from ‘Only Fools & Horses’. This is both a blessing and a curse. It’s the shared entrepreneurial spirit and lack of dignity I think. Also the fur coats. And con-artist swagger. And also how well Del Boy takes the piss out of Rodney – if you were to replace Rodney with Butters or Kenny in their search for wealth; this is such a niche reference but somebody reading this is gonna be so fucking happy with it. Because of this, I can only imagine him with the strongest cockney accent known to man, and so, a list of ones I feel he would use:

“Berk”

“Muppet”

“You jammy prick”

“Bleedin’ hell”

“You daft cow”

“Shut your cakehole”

“He’s a right tosser”

“You bleeding mug”

“Wazzock”

Also unrelated but with this guy being the gayest homophobe around, he’d totally be one of those guys to call everyone “babes” (the mental image is making me cackle, he fucking would don’t lie)

ANYWAY LMAO FEEL FREE TO DISCUSS, THANK YOU ANON – THIS WAS INCREDIBLY FUN TO DO, I APOLOGISE FHDKFN

[charlessmiths-wife]

wouldn’t you just love to introduce the dimi sisters to the concept of shitty reality TV.

like make them watch the only way is Essex. Love island. GEORDIE SHORE.

and ik from what I’ve heard some American reality tv can be insane, like please just put TLC on for these women. Daniela would EAT UP 90 day fiancé.

God I can just imagine it now, Daniela enjoying them, Cassandra feeling some odd mixture of enjoyment but also self loathing at the fact SHES SUNK THIS LOW and Bela just… so exasperated at their concept (but yk she secretly loves any the real housewives show)

[unforgivablego]

I hate it when people discount Aziraphale without understanding him as a character. Partly, it's more because people like to see bad guys doing good things. And if a demon saves children from death, it means more to them than if an angel did it, even if he lied to heaven and put himself in danger. Essentially: “he’s an angel, it’s in his nature to be kind, so what’s surprising?”

I'm not against Crowley. I like both characters, but I don't like how there are too many defenders of Crowley, while Aziraphale is constantly made into a villain. After the second season, they were generally credited with clear, disgusting images - a poor puppy suffering from unrequited love and a stupid angel who broke his heart. This superficiality is so annoying. As if only Crowley is feeling bad and only he is suffering, which means only he should be pitied.

My friend and I are currently watching a show where the bad guy who starts out doing terrible things becomes a sweetheart in the middle of the season 2. And I watch how she sheds tears from every good deed he does, as if she had completely forgotten what he did a couple of episodes ago. And I have to endure this with a mixture of misunderstanding and rejection: “Are you really serious?” There was literally a scene where a character consciously kills the main character's brother on purpose and then a couple minutes later says he's sorry. “See? He repents,” says a friend. As if that would change the fact that he killed a person (don't worry, the brother survived thanks to a lucky accident (killer doesn’t know it) but imagine if he actually killed him and then came to apologize). One good deed by a bad person always overshadows all other bad deeds, making him appear good.

Also, I think it's all about Tennant's popularity and his image as a demon. I have nothing against both, but often, if a bad character is played by a handsome sexy actor, the idol of millions and the owner of hearts, then he is loved more according to the standard. Just like in the series that my friend and I are watching now.

It’s annoying too how many people sometimes turn a blind eye to how “unkind” Crowley can be. Like, “you can forgive him everything because he once did a good deed.” I'm not saying Crowley is bad. No need to attack me with slippers. I'm talking about the tearful art that makes Crowley look broken and Aziraphale cold and cruel. I'm talking about hurt fanfiction, in which Crowley suffers more than me in the deepest depression (calm down already, seriously, I have enough suffering, give me a rainbow, fluff, romance and love). All these jokes about Aziraphale having to do an apology dance in the third season (despite this, I’m also looking forward to such a scene). Analysis on TikTok, where the angel is often called stupid and naive (the coffee theory just kills me, I fucking hate it).

Yes, I love memes. That's funny. Keep making jokes about the ineffable bureaucracy speed running their relationship in a year, while these idiots have gotten nowhere in 6,000 years. And about Nina and Maggie, the heads of the “Geordie Shore” program. About Metatwat, who got into the hands the Book of Life and he decided to shit us a disgusting fanfic. Carry on, I like it. But as long as these are jokes and not a hostile imposition.

There have already been so many quarrels about this. And all because people like one character more than another. And here we again return to the fact that we ourselves constantly separate them. We devalue one thing or another, and then hope for a happy ending.

This established clichéd system in the fandom is simply killing me. Therefore, I am grateful to every person who digs deeper than the sand sprinkled on top.

[starrylol]

Omg...data and Geordie with data sharing an umbrella, please omg it'd be so cute

Rainy day on shore leave.

I’d like to think Geordi takes his visor off sometimes to alleviate the migraines and pain. I’d imagine they were taking a walk through the woods and perhaps having a picnic whilst Data rambles on about the local ecosystem and weather patterns. Geordi listens attentively and is grateful for his partner who always looks out for him as they walk with Data carrying the umbrella so they don’t get soaked. Somehow they manage to get soaked though.

[djsherriff-responses]

Also Buck Bumble’s theme song is a legitimate bop that fits the setting of Laserhawk. Just imagine some evil soldiers getting killed gruesomely by a bee as their theme song plays.

According to wiki this was a British game , which explains how this sounds straight out of an episode of Geordie Shore

(If he has a British accent that only adds to the comedy of his and Bullfrog’s potential relationship)

[fairycosmos]

saw the ask about geordie shore and just had to pop in to say i love your accent!! i have family down your neck of the woods and they're half scottish (i'm scottish) so as you can imagine they have a very hilarious accent and overuse the words "aye" and "bairn" to an insane degree lol. always here to defend the geordies <3

OMGGG i would give my life and soul to hear lik, a scottish influenced geordie accent i swear to god 😭 lmfaooo that would be amazing. aye and bairn are like 3 of the 10 words i ever LMAO. anyway i absolutely adore all the scottish accents too, always love anyone i meet from your neck of the woods <3 thank you angel!! this really made my night ❤️

[showbiznews]

[creativity-imagines]

Guys I’m going to do some writing tomorrow but can we just talk about how amazing they all look 😍 holy smokes

[ego-meliorem-esse]

Some HCs - Arthur Kirkland

It seems I am unable to draw anything these days. It's either a bad case of artist block or any slight skill I had in the drawing department has vanished into thin air. Someone send either an ambulance or Francis ( so I can hit him with my car to calm myself down)

Until then here are some hcs for our favourite pater familias:

Arthur has a hard time falling asleep and has constant insomnia episodes. He's used to them by now and doesn't try to force himself to sleep when he realizes he can't. The one thing he can't do during his no-sleep nights is read. He browses the internet, checks out his kids social media updates, and even sends a text to Francis or Gil in the hopes of waking them up and being a general petty menace. He does everything but read books as they strain his eyes.

He might be the grumpy rat we all know, but he is incredible with children. He doesn't talk to them as many people do with children: childish and condescendingly, but like an adult speaking to an equally intelligent human being. Also, Arthur can make up stories on the spot that will intrigue even the most well-read intellectual and equally bring the most unruly child to sleep. His imagination is something he keeps almost completely to himself though. Least someone might find out he is not completely the stoic, stiff upper-lip kind of person he wants to be portrayed as. Though children are the only people that get to experience his creative, imaginative, and story-telling side. His children had quite the bedtime stories. Especially Alfred.

Trash telly is one of his weaknesses. When the work is done, the dishes are washed, and the paperwork is finished, Arthur will most definitely turn on the news and pretend that's what he is interested in on the tv. When in reality he waits a couple of minutes to switch to some Love Island, Geordie Shore, 22 Kids, and Counting, or even Funniest royal Cock-ups.

Arthur doesn't like being in pictures taken by others. Be it not liking how he looks in them or simply not liking when he's not the one in control of taking pictures but he simply hates being in photographs taken by other people. One can imagine this is just a part of Arthur's controlling side coming out.

When it comes to his kids, Arthur is constantly worried. He of course doesn't show it (the beforementioned stiff upper lip kind of attitude) yet when there is real trouble or he can sense something is amiss, he will do his best to drop his indifferent demeanor to help his child as best as he can without being too emotional. He doesn't admit it to anyone and especially not to himself but seeing his kids hurt or unwell is the one biggest fear he has. This feeling in him conflicts with him being a country and having to put his own people and government before anyone else. He is a past empire and empathy doesn't come easy to him. Yet here he is wondering if Matthew ate his lunch after the meeting or if Alfred got into trouble again with his officials over some tweets. As much of an emotionless bastard as he is and as much of a country as he is, he is family oriented and his kids mean the world to him.

While on the topic of his kids, Alfred is the absolute favourite child, the crown prince, and the firstborn son of the family. Al gets some privileges that his siblings do not. Arthur is especially worried and distressed when Al is in trouble or is hurt. More so than any of his other children. There is some jealousy/envy from the rest due to this of course. More on that in Alfred's hcs.

On a lighter note, Arthur lost his car in a shopping mall parking lot almost a dozen times now.

Also, he refuses to get rid of his 2006 silver Renault Clio. He has a newer car but uses it only for business and when driving longer distances. Matthew is worried the old vehicle will die any day now on the road and keeps urging his father to buy a new car.

Arthur is secretly a big fan of Neil Gaiman and his works but keeps that to himself.

He has an instagram account where he posts pictures of his garden, his book choice of the week, and his kids. The beforementioned kids are not happy with the pictures their father chooses to post on his account. Zee has blocked him.

Arthur buys candles all the time. Any smell, any aroma. And just keeps them in a drawer. He saw an ad for candles online once and now it's something he impulse buys at the grocery store.

These days he has the energy of a divorced housewife with an elderly dog

[shards-of-gold]

*The Enterprise crew on a small cruise, visiting Earth*

Riker: You know, we should make this an annual trip. Just the sun, the sea and the senior members of the crew. I can't imagine a better shore leave than this.

*Wesley and Worf sprinting past with loaded water guns*

Worf: You cannot escape me, Wesley! I shall be victorious!

Wesley, scoffing: Yeah right, Worf! My grandmother can run faster than you!

*Rapid spurts of water flying everywhere*

Beverly: Enough with the water guns you two! You're making the deck all wet and the last thing I want on my holiday is healing broken bones because someone slippe-

*A loud thump. Picard cursing loudly*

Wesley, trembling: Oh I'm so dead.

*Picard, rounding the corner rubbing his back*

Picard, fuming: Can't a man be allowed to have even a moments peace? Is that too much to ask for?! And to make matters worse, a rare Romulan relic I was scrutinising flew from my grasp as I fell, and now it's more than likely thousands of feet below us on the seabed. How am I supposed to explain this to the Earth Archaeology Council?

Data, popping up out of nowhere: I could not help but overhear your predicament Captain. I might yet be able to retrieve the aforementioned relic before it is too late. I will return in a moment.

*Data jumps off the cruise ship, splashing into the sea*

Geordi, shouting: Data! Data wait, I didn't install your buoyancy device!

Wesley: Buoyancy device? You mean like android armbands?

Geordi, ignoring Wesley: *groans* Dammit it's going to take me weeks to drain all the saltwater from his system.

Deanna, laughing: Still think we should make this an annual thing Will?

Riker: Deanna, you know that I would never make such an outlandish suggestion.

[luckyqueenreign]

I was thinking what FB can do for season 6 if we got one and I was like they could bring back a character for previous season who wasn't really an LI opinion before. I would like to get a normal Tim route. Or maybe Rohan too. Or someone who hasn't have a chance really before.

Not if they butcher the art like they did Bobby 😭😭 Can you imagine the uproar and hate they would get from screwing up a beloved character like Tim?! I do love Tim, but I think I would rather them just make EVERYONE an LI...and give us someone with Tim's personality. There's a ton of Geordie Shore DJs I'm sure another would apply for LI! Also I would love to just see more personality in general. Seasons 1 & 2 had the best personalities. You could see the differences in routes and in the choices you made. How some LIs were forgiving of the Noah kiss in Operation Nope but others weren't. I want that again! I want consequences for our actions!

[purpleshallot]

just imagining marc trying to appear as if he’s steven by doing a british accent so the people around him don’t suspect anything but he’s only ever watched Geordie Shore so he ends up doing the wrong english accent

[gar-trek]

I don't think Data can swim! In one episode (the last one of season 6 or the first one of season 7) he & Geordi have a conversation and they mention that when he wanted to go swimming he sank & had to walk like a mile back to the shore. And that they spent a really long time trying to get the water out of him afterwards :)

I’m not that far so thanks for the answer! I can imagine too he’s super heavy with no buoyancy 😭😭😭 poor dude 

[editoress]

There is a way that I keep getting Izzy Hands wrong, and it's that mentally I keep nudging his accent northward. If I'm not careful I'll end up imagining him straight off Geordie Shore

[ylizam]

is WIP amnesty still a thing?

anyway, here is a scene from the Beverly/Will/Deanna thing I spent way too much time thinking about in the existential sense of, “hmm, what if Beverly shows up right after Picard left” and “how do we deal with Picard-era JLP not being quite right?” and “oh of course they’ve been a long-term long-distance thing and Will bakes comfort foods and Deanna understands Beverly in a way that makes Beverly Uncomfortable sometimes and it’s both soft and also hard-as-in-difficult and prickly but also important and loving and when Beverly goes back to her ship to save the galaxy from pandemics and whatnot she thinks back to their arms as home,” and not enough time actually figuring any sort of plot or writing anything god forbid. so! 

“You just missed him, you know.” Deanna smiles when she says it, though, gentle and not actually chiding. Beverly drops her bag on the ground. Steps into Deanna’s open arms for a very necessary hug.

“I know,” Beverly says, when she finally settles into the safety of Deanna’s arms. “Laris called to let me know he’d left on some sort of epic quest, and to shoot him for her if I saw him. And then Will warned me he was actually here. Although I’m still not entirely sure whether he was trying to tell me to take my time or to push warp nine.”

“Neither,” Deanna says. She releases Beverly, but mostly so she can make sure to maintain eye contact. “Or both. Either. I think Will was mostly telling you to do what you needed to do, and that we’d support you in that choice, in that Will way of his.”

Beverly lifts her bag and hitches it on her shoulder. “Well, in the end, Cardassia made the decision for me. We got stuck dealing with another outbreak in Lakarian City, and there was a mandatory quarantine period even I couldn’t get us out of.”

“Jean-Luc, he’s,” Deanna says.

“I know.” Beverly may not be his treating physician anymore, may barely even merit the title of friend these days—more his fault than hers this go-around, but they’ve both had their turns at fucking things up—but she’s seen his medical records recently enough to know that his brain’s a ticking time bomb.

“I think he’s enjoying this opportunity for one last great adventure.” Deanna is careful, gentle, kind to everyone involved in this mess; she’s a fierce protector to all of them, and Beverly chafes at the feeling that Deanna’s trying to handle her. To handle them. 

“I’m glad,” Beverly snaps. 

Deanna grasps Beverly’s empty hand. “You’ve every right to be angry with him,” she says.

“Oh, I am. But”—and how to explain this? She doesn’t even fully understand it herself, and it’s her own damned brain—“I’d rather he go out in a blaze of glory than continue to hide himself away in France waiting to die. Although I think he really hurt Laris when he left; he can be so unthinkingly callous when he has a mission to plan.”

She just wishes he’d thought to say goodbye to her as part of his grand farewell tour. (Even a message, a letter, something left with Will and Deanna or sent through subspace to her ship. She’s not difficult to find, and they’d been so close, for such a large part of her life. For him to head off to tilt at one last windmill, to run toward certain death, without a word? And the worst of it is that he probably didn’t mean to hurt her. To hurt any of them. He had a quest, after all.)

Deanna doesn’t respond (to either her words or her obvious emotional turmoil). They make their way through the woods; Beverly can’t hear her, can’t see her through the leaves and foliage, but she can feel the comforting presence of Kestra following behind them, probably dragging some sort of dead animal with her for dinner.

 “How’s Will taking it?” Beverly asks. 

“About as well as you are,” Deanna answers. “Or I am. He’s Jean-Luc, and he’s going off to fight some sort of cosmic evil without any of us at his back, all while—“

“—dying,” Beverly says. Fuck. 

“Yes.” Deanna stops then, still about another ten minutes from the house, and turns back to Beverly. “With a new crew and a new mission.”

“I am so angry at him, Deanna.” She kicks at a cluster of stones. Takes no small amount of pleasure at the sound of the cracking against one another. And then it hits her: “Shit, do you know if he’s told anyone else—Worf, Geordi, anyone?—or are they going to find out when the obituary hits the news?”

“He didn’t say,” Deanna says. “I only know he didn’t tell you because you’ve told me as much.”

“I’ll call them—“

“We’ll call them,” Deanna says. “After dinner, after a few drinks, maybe some of the chocolate cake Will baked last night.”

“I could kill him myself.” 

“No, you couldn’t.” 

Beverly feels like her entire body deflates. The air punched out of her. 

“I hate that you know that,” she says. She reaches for Deanna this time, steps close enough to lean down and press a soft kiss to her mouth. “That you know me well enough to know that I’m mostly bark.”

“Ah,” Deanna says. She kisses Beverly once, twice, quickly, and then takes her hand again. “But when you do bite, it is always deadly.”

Beverly pulls her back. This time the kiss is anything but short, anything but gentle. Her hands gravitate to Deanna’s hair, to the back of her head, to her ears and neck and back to her hair. She nips at Deanna’s lower lip. 

“Ew,” Kestra says. Beverly jumps back, thinks Kestra’s voice is coming from above. She looks around, but can’t see anything but nature. She’d think she was imagining it, but then Kestra adds, “I’m right here.”

And then she jumps down in front of them. An animal Beverly doesn’t recognize is strung up in what she assumes is Kestra’s standard hunting gear, her bow and arrows in a quiver on her back. 

“Is that for dinner?” Beverly asks. 

“Nah,” Kestra says. “We’ll cure it, make bacon from it.”

“Oh.”

“It’s better that way,” Kestra says. “It’s too tough otherwise.”

“I stand corrected then,” Beverly says. 

She feels a little judged, but she’s never pretended that a detailed knowledge of the local flora and fauna of Nepenthe are a particular strength of hers. General survival, yes; the edible plant life on any number of Federation worlds, also yes. But she’s never spent more than a few months here at a time, and at first, well. There was Thad. 

She’d been so cocky. So sure that, given the opportunity, she’d be able to find a cure that didn’t require artificial life. And she could therefore tell Kestra which barks make a tea so noxious that everyone in a five kilometer radius would feel dizzy, faint, and that there are fungi on the eastern shore of the lake that could stave off nausea. But food, no, that had been Will’s particular interest: he’d cook, and bake, and feed them all in the panicked hope (and growing despair) that they might be able to save his son.

“Come on,” Deanna says, interrupting her spiraling guilt. “Will’s probably starting to worry.”

“Right,” Beverly says. 

Kestra rolls her eyes, but Beverly thinks she’s secretly a little pleased about her father’s very obvious love. She darts ahead of them—so fast, so young, so alive.

“Come on,” she calls back, “I smell pizza!”