#but oh nooooo

[ego-meliorem-esse]

Some HCs - Arthur Kirkland

It seems I am unable to draw anything these days. It's either a bad case of artist block or any slight skill I had in the drawing department has vanished into thin air. Someone send either an ambulance or Francis ( so I can hit him with my car to calm myself down)

Until then here are some hcs for our favourite pater familias:

Arthur has a hard time falling asleep and has constant insomnia episodes. He's used to them by now and doesn't try to force himself to sleep when he realizes he can't. The one thing he can't do during his no-sleep nights is read. He browses the internet, checks out his kids social media updates, and even sends a text to Francis or Gil in the hopes of waking them up and being a general petty menace. He does everything but read books as they strain his eyes.

He might be the grumpy rat we all know, but he is incredible with children. He doesn't talk to them as many people do with children: childish and condescendingly, but like an adult speaking to an equally intelligent human being. Also, Arthur can make up stories on the spot that will intrigue even the most well-read intellectual and equally bring the most unruly child to sleep. His imagination is something he keeps almost completely to himself though. Least someone might find out he is not completely the stoic, stiff upper-lip kind of person he wants to be portrayed as. Though children are the only people that get to experience his creative, imaginative, and story-telling side. His children had quite the bedtime stories. Especially Alfred.

Trash telly is one of his weaknesses. When the work is done, the dishes are washed, and the paperwork is finished, Arthur will most definitely turn on the news and pretend that's what he is interested in on the tv. When in reality he waits a couple of minutes to switch to some Love Island, Geordie Shore, 22 Kids, and Counting, or even Funniest royal Cock-ups.

Arthur doesn't like being in pictures taken by others. Be it not liking how he looks in them or simply not liking when he's not the one in control of taking pictures but he simply hates being in photographs taken by other people. One can imagine this is just a part of Arthur's controlling side coming out.

When it comes to his kids, Arthur is constantly worried. He of course doesn't show it (the beforementioned stiff upper lip kind of attitude) yet when there is real trouble or he can sense something is amiss, he will do his best to drop his indifferent demeanor to help his child as best as he can without being too emotional. He doesn't admit it to anyone and especially not to himself but seeing his kids hurt or unwell is the one biggest fear he has. This feeling in him conflicts with him being a country and having to put his own people and government before anyone else. He is a past empire and empathy doesn't come easy to him. Yet here he is wondering if Matthew ate his lunch after the meeting or if Alfred got into trouble again with his officials over some tweets. As much of an emotionless bastard as he is and as much of a country as he is, he is family oriented and his kids mean the world to him.

While on the topic of his kids, Alfred is the absolute favourite child, the crown prince, and the firstborn son of the family. Al gets some privileges that his siblings do not. Arthur is especially worried and distressed when Al is in trouble or is hurt. More so than any of his other children. There is some jealousy/envy from the rest due to this of course. More on that in Alfred's hcs.

On a lighter note, Arthur lost his car in a shopping mall parking lot almost a dozen times now.

Also, he refuses to get rid of his 2006 silver Renault Clio. He has a newer car but uses it only for business and when driving longer distances. Matthew is worried the old vehicle will die any day now on the road and keeps urging his father to buy a new car.

Arthur is secretly a big fan of Neil Gaiman and his works but keeps that to himself.

He has an instagram account where he posts pictures of his garden, his book choice of the week, and his kids. The beforementioned kids are not happy with the pictures their father chooses to post on his account. Zee has blocked him.

Arthur buys candles all the time. Any smell, any aroma. And just keeps them in a drawer. He saw an ad for candles online once and now it's something he impulse buys at the grocery store.

These days he has the energy of a divorced housewife with an elderly dog

[glowingmember]

i had to buy a portable dvdrom for my computer that plugs in via usb because my tower HAS NO PLACE TO INSTALL A DVDROM.

Stop removing ports, headphone jacks, and cd players from technology

I don't want to put my information on a cloud! I want physical media

[crabrangoonluvr]

alright so during into the spider-verse's introduction to peter b. parker, we see his wedding, and he stomps on the wine glass right? this is a jewish wedding tradition, which makes this version of peter parker jewish (further confirmed in interviews -- however, i believe this is enough by itself). it's a nice nod to the jewish roots of the character.

we get to see a bunch of peter parkers throughout the spider-verse films, and none of them have any explicit religious associations like peter b. parker. except for one!

here we have gwen stacy's peter parker and aunt may, from earth-65, saying grace over a meal. from my understanding, this is generally a christian practice -- in judaism, we prefer to say short prayers before eating, and save the long, in-depth ones for afterwards. so to me, this was a clear example of the character being coded as christian. i was a little disappointed that they didn't make peter parker jewish here too, but since across the spider-verse discusses variants and the differences between instances of the same person between different universes, i interpreted this as a continued commentary on peter parker's ethnicity -- although he was initially jewish-coded and one of his two creators, stan lee, is jewish, this is often erased, especially in more modern interpretations of the character.

and then i remembered that this peter parker also literally turns into the lizard.

and y'know what? good call on that one guys.

[inkskinned]

they will need to whipstitch the wound closed, but embroidery is a "woman's" task. they will need to eat and clean and mend clothes, but why learn basic things when you can have a woman measure out your life in beads. he will be the "head" of your house, but if you want him to act accordingly, you must assign him a list of all applicable activities. you will be otherwise constantly in charge of almost-everything; so he will lead the house he is absent from.

in movies and books, the "cool" girl will be more-like-a-man. she will be "less boring," more "fun". she will have masculine ideas and masculine talents, which means a man doesn't have to change in order to find her fascinating. she will disdain of something as simple as stitching. how boring!

she will kick open the door of a car and quip what, girls can't drive? and flip her long hair down one side. she will grill and shoot a gun and skydive. be a guy. she will be sexualized.

somewhere, working on computers becomes a masculine task, and now on tv a gen-z disney character throws her hands up in the air. i can't be a computer science nerd, i'm a girl! in the real life, she will be unable to sit through some of her classes, shivering when she realizes she is the only woman present in several of them.

how many times have you read this book and seen this show and watched this movie. the singular woman is allowed 5 lines because she's not just smart! she's also pretty! she is surrounded by 20 average men, but she is stunning. she is the exception to the bland, pale lives of women-at-home, who will never be shown. she likes dirt and motorbikes and blood and shows up in a tiny dress during the final scene, rolling her eyes at our male lead's incredulity - just because i like motorcross doesn't mean anything. i'm still a woman, okay? i actually like shopping.

it is almost never reversed, and you think about that often. it is vanishingly rare to have a single man in a cast of women. the male love interest does not show up at a feminist march and sardonically squint at our leading lady - what? you thought only women care about human rights? he does not know how to balance a checkbook or kickbox because i grew up with three sisters.

when he cooks he is a chef, which is sexy. when he cleans, he's being kind, genteel. when he nurtures his family, confetti rains from the ceiling. when she does these things: it is her duty and her identity. what do you mean she has other passions and hobbies? isn't her hobby and passion homemaking?

the other day a friend embroidered a seam closed on your jacket into the shape of ivy. every time you touch it, you think of her.

something about women's hobbies and art and skills. something about women's work.

[morickkk]

Woops

[cakesandfail]

apparently the goons over on twitter are now doing "antidepressants turn your kids ace" which sounds a little too much like "vaccines cause autism" and "puberty blockers are permanent" for my liking

[doodling-robot]

snack time

[hemlock-dreams]

Positively FERAL about your inmate!Peter AU. I love me a good Spideypool story, but with there being a ton of buff Wade taking care of burnt out smol Peter (don't get me wrong, I love those too) seeing a buff Peter positively RAILING Wade is very refreshing (and HOT)! I also adore the entire lore verse you've come up with for it!!! Chewing on all the old art until there's more, and thank you for allowing us a view into your brilliant mind with your art!!!

Thank you so much! I too am a big fan of bottom!Wade and l take my duty of folding him like a pool chair very seriously.

I really appreciate the kind words and am so happy to know that I'm not the only one who wants to see Spiderman break this man's spine!!!

So I offer to you the aftermath of Wade getting caught after a violent chase :)

[brighan]

Don't keep eye contact

Alternatively: oh noooo it's the Bracken oh noooo 🕺

[hinamie]

it's an icarian curse

p2

[theandrosaur]

He just wants to live his cottage wife dream, Wukong. When will you listen to him.

[salty-dracon]

All of those "Sunday joins the Stellaron Hunters after the events of 2.2" theories are so funny. Yes, here's the Stellaron Hunter family:

A badass deep-voiced lady assassin who both double wields guns and uses a katana.

A powerful gamer gremlin who can literally hack reality itself.

An immortal man consumed by a lust for vengeance, named after the weapon he wields.

A powerful genetically modified warrior in a giant mech-suit, the last of her kind, who wields scorching flames and weapons of mass destruction.

A mysterious cat who can see the future.

And their newest member: A Catholic priest.

[loktauri]

Tma au where nothing is wrong ever and Jon gets to pet as many cats as he likes

[usertoxicyaoi]

"I ... This is the first time I've spent a night at Touma's apartment."

COSMETIC PLAYLOVER (2024). EPISODE SIX.

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[miss-galaxy-turtle]

REX JUST WANTED ONE NORMAL NIGHT WHERE THEY ALL GOT TO CHILL AND NOW HE'S THE ONLY GUARDIAN LEFT ON EARTH AND THE OTHERS HAVE NO IDEA-