#geodon

[righteouslazarus]

theres genuinely no better time to write in jessamyns point of view than when im off my antipsychotics

[ayequelindaxo]

Everyone needs a good dicking before bed time to get to sleep.

[t4tbumbleby]

are you fucking kidding me? why's this the first time i'm hearing of this?

[the-old-man-has-the-phonebox]

I can't wait to see the introductions of the lesser angels Xanax, Wellbutrin, and Lexapro in S3 🥰

[unremarkablechap]

arthur. so relatable. we both had abusive dads. we both had a person who didn't make a relationship secure. we both get super angry. very flawed man. but.... love. love for him from me... i love him.

[rokurookajima]

the craziest things about 2015 being 10 years ago now…. #1 is that 2015 does not feel like 10 years but also DOES

10 years since i met olivia and evie 🥺 10 years since fury road came out… 10 years since i got my septum pierced & my first tattoo ..10 years since my first photo class changed everything (10 years since i met BEN my photo professor 😭) 10 years since i first watched saw, 10 years since my first psychotic break (shoutout to the bugs that lived inside my body), and 10 straight years on psych meds lmao

[jinxed-fates]

am i cursed to be sick at weddings

[drowfag]

I don't want to go to the psych ward because my meds suddenly stopped working.

[skin-bible]

I had my drs appointment yesterday and she's helping me go into a program to get my meds even cheaper (waiting on the phone call) because I accidentally let it slip that I'm passively suicidal and had a breakdown in her clinic. She kept asking if there's anything she can do to help but I felt like she's already doing everything she could do.

My anti depressants double as fibromyalgia meds, so without them, I'm in a lot of pain as well, because of which I've been off of them entirely for 3 weeks. When I picked up my meds last, all I could get was my anti psychotics, and sleep aids, which I've been halving doses to make them last.

I have extra anti anxiety meds because I ALWAYS forget to take the afternoon doses, so last time I got some of my meds it was no loss to not pick them up.

Kind of goofy but. In the days I took all my meds I felt so good, and I was actually genuinely happy with my life that I called it my Margaritavi11e phase because I felt good and carefree. I was reminiscing that feeling in the bathtub yesterday and I was like "oh God. Si1ent Hi11 came to Margaritavi11e."

[silkyloathe]

stuff is coming out of my boobs what the fuck ...

[spectacle-street]

I finally found an anti-psychotic that doesn't feel terrible to take, happy day!

[genderqueerdykes]

hi, im very sorry if this is a strange thing to ask

ive been struggling with schizophrenia since adolescence and i really cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. i feel so alone and isolated and i don't really know what to do with myself anymore. living feels like a chore.

does it ever get easier/better? seeing people who are a lot older than me with schizophrenia gives me a lot of hope but i hope things won't always feel this dire. :(

again i'm very sorry if this is weird, thank you so much regardless

hey that's not a weird thing to ask, i actually felt the same way when i was diagnosed!

the thing about schizophrenia is it's so hard to find emotionally neutral information on it. everyone wants to make it out to be the worst thing that could ever possibly happen to you. when i got diagnosed, i remember the chills running down my spine. i remember sitting in that psych hospital, reading a poster on the wall about schizophrenia. i sat there thinking that my life was over, that i was destined to be miserable

things were hard while i was finding the right medication for my psychosis. my emotions were all over the place. i could NOT sleep. insomnia has always been a huge issue for me ever since childhood. i was miserable. i was constantly dealing with delusions- for me, delusions affect me a bit more than hallucinations do. i felt depressed and agitated all at once. it took trying a handful of antipsychotics (risperidone, geodon, zyprexa, abilify and seroquel) before i found the one that works the best for me. for me, it's seroquel, and it has actually give me a much better lease on life!

my thinking isn't anywhere near is scrambled. i don't experience anywhere near as much catatonia. i sleep pretty well, and i stay asleep. my hallucinations are still there, but much more tolerable. when i'm dealing with delusional thinking, i'm able to double bookkeep and keep myself in check. i can stop myself if i start going down a spiral of over analyzing patterns. i can work myself down from the edge of fear when im terrified that my apartment is bugged, or something like that. i'm not constantly terrified that my neighbors can hear my thoughts

it does and can get better for many of us! i'm definitely doing far better now than i was after i got diagnosed. this will be different for everyone, of course, so if you don't respond to medication, don't give up. there's nothing wrong with being like this. you're not responsible for how your brain is wired. your brain is just like that. my psych meds provider explained to me that i will likely experience most of my symptoms to some degree or another for the rest of my life, and that it's not something to dread, but rather, something to approach as it happens. kind of like regular health maintenance. you drink some extra water when you have a headache. you take care of yourself when you have a bad psychotic episode. that kind of thing

if you ever need help feel free to ask questions! schizophrenia isn't all doom and gloom. it gets easier when we find ways to cope with what we're constantly being presented. i would say taking the time to learn about how your schizophrenia manifests will help you feel a bit better. yours will be different from mine, you will have different needs than me. it's okay to acknowledge what those needs are.

schizophrenia isn't a death sentence, it's just how some brains are wired. take care of yourself!

[crmsnmth]

Conjoined

We were tight But we faded, like how everything doesn't last except for cigarette butts and the plastic in our lungs

Summer nights where the smell of the lake is overpowering But we grow use to it, sitting in a gazebo made of unfinished wood I give you all my secrets, down to my very core And you did the same, blood brothers to the end But I let this die, I didn't feed it like I should've but I was wasting my time and being a waste While you found happiness.

We were close And even that seems like not enough to describe us We were the surgical miracle in making conjoined twins

Kickflips and Geodone, neither of us were any good And I kept you low and flat just Like I remain to be we're snorting psych meds in the gazebo And we wonder just how we managed to lose hours of time Cigarettes and ghetto rigged car stereos, I miss you. I miss being attached at the hip

We were stronger than blood Or so I thought

[gravehags]

my body trying to process the salad i had for dinner, my half pint of ice cream plus cake cone, and the geodon, birth control, viviscal, psyllium fiber, lithium, gabapentin, and senna tablets i just took:

[virdthebird]

🔶Finished character ref for the lovely Geodon!

uaaaaaaa its been a very tiring couple of days, thankfully i have my infinite backlog of finished commissions that i have not posted yet!