#genuinely wtf is wrong with me

[interpolationz]

i want to play a game this weekend but even just thinking about the laptop makes me feel physically ill and if i dare to try to operate it i get extraordinarily anxious

a driver needed to be updated on it last week and apparently i'm traumatized now

[p4rty-p01son]

Definitely not considering detransitioning for a straight guy rn

[numberonepartyboy]

how the tf do i explain to my math teacher that the reason why i cry even if i talk to him is bc of grief and a shit ton of my past traumas

[camembri]

you wanted zoro to be on whole cake island to fulfil your weird desire to see zoro punish sanji. I wanted zoro on whole cake island because I think he's stupid enough to right place wrong time the plan and accidentally marry Sanji in full view of the whole wedding party in what becomes the most elaborately constructed comedy of errors ever written. we are NOT the same.

[svtskneecaps]

honestly foolish's character walking the slightly meta line of "oo this'll be fun content" makes him feel like that marvel immortal character who is only immortal as long as he doesn't get bored (and was played by jeff goldblum in the movies). like idk why but the more i see of foolish's rp the more solidified the comparison gets in my mind.

like it's kinda cool for a headcanon ngl and also it means i'm not really surprised pikachu-ing when, say, he flips a coin to decide whether to rat out his son-in-law, or climbs into an incubator of corruption crystals, or doesn't ENTIRELY kick owen out of the kingdom. it's not that he doesn't CARE, but..... well, wouldn't it be interesting? don't you want to know what would happen?

[thebisexualwreckoning]

I love fanfic like imagine DYING and choosing to come back to life from literal Greek heaven because you miss your boyfriend but your fucking boyfriend has amnesia, doesn’t remember you died for him while a thirteen year old who also has a crush on your boyfriend controls your life because you are still half dead , and on top of that your boyfriend is now flirting with a guy raised by WOLVES who eats RAW MEAT and you can’t even do anything about it because the gods have forbidden you from telling him what went down before your death and you can’t blame him either because he has LITERAL AMNESIA

[starliteonearth]

The more and more I think about it, because it has been bugging me for a minute, I think the reason why Rhaesaria can happen and Rhaenicent can't -and probably never will- is that Rhaenicent is just too big of an ask. It's too much of a canon divergence and an incredibly massive one at that. They've already changed so much from the books to make their relationship what it is in the show but actually putting Rhaenyra and Alicent together in a romantic relationship would literally derail the plot. Like I literally can't think of a way they could put them together and still accurately portray the Dance. I really don't think it's feasible. Rhaesaria however, can happen because it literally affects nothing, in the grand scheme of things. Nothing about and around the two of them changes. With Rhaenicent, you'd have restructure so many things (again) to not only make it possible but believable to the greater audience. Especially given where the story is right now. The bad fanfiction slander that would further arise from making them cannon would practically snuff out the show. And that's why I believe their relationship can only, and always will be, just subtext.

[sh1-n0bu]

so uhhh ive just been notified by the wonderful @dvlboy that me and many other writers’ works are being put on wattpad. although the first page is dedicated to clarifying that it isn’t their work and they simply want to put their fav fics in one place, do they not know that reblogging with tags is a thing? i’m gonna need to drop my silly for this one and do some research and tag the author’s who got their fics taken since y’know… the person on wattpad didn’t ask me and i’m guessing didn’t ask the others as well?

[writterings]

tbh it's annoying when people perceive the "i cant make a decision about where to eat, you decide!" thing as being indecisive and/or noncommittal when in fact it's almost always the person being considerate of your wants over their own and/or also the person having such bad anxiety that they're worried if they tell you what they actually want, you'll be disappointed in what they chose and thus won't enjoy it.

[kodzucloud]

My inability to keep up with schooling is genuinely pissing me off. I can do SOME of it at school in the rare chances that i can just sit my ass down and do things but the second i get home— i’d die if i was held at gun point and told “do homework right now or die” and like i can complete it but turning it in is my issue because in my head once im done with it im done. If i dont do it and IMMEDIATELY take a photo of it so that when i remember that i had homework i can just turn it in? It will not be turned in. And on top of that i do better when im not at home, but like i currently am not in a position to consistently go to the library for a couple hours and lock in. It bothers me so much because to me, my grades matter to me SO SO SO much and all my friends for the most part have good grades, good gpa, all that jazz. I say that because in my head im always trying to make sure im on pare with them because if my grades arent good they might look down on me. And i know that’s in my head, im more than my grades, but am i? Like i used to be a straight A student and understood things so quickly but like now it’s takes a village to teach me something (im being dramatic but you get the point) i love learning, i love learning things but i cant do it at a pace that school wants me too and each time i try to catch up so that i can be more lax with it its so hard because everything is boring and mundane, or i dont like the assignment because its a group project or something or it’s not a class im interested in. I have SO many missing assignments because i keep trying to fix one grade but then forget everything else because im so focused and when i realize what im doing i just do the same thing and it’s so damn frustrating. I feel fucking dumb. And im not, im objectively smart and creative and on my life that’s based on what other people have told me so im not kissing ass rn but like dude— the fact that i cant keep up makes me loose so much motivation that i just want to crawl into bed, and just rot because if i cant get my grades up then what’s the purpose of my life? Like and im not trying to sound…idk but like my whole family is smart and shit andni dont want to be the odd one out because being good at school and smart was the only thing i really thought people liked me for when i was younger and i still believe that but like there’s other factors that play into that BUT STILL DUDE IT PISSES ME OFF AND I HATE IT

[gellavonhamster]

Alright, why the hell is my follower count circa 250 blogs less than yesterday? Considering that nothing I've recently posted or reblogged is that controversial, lol, and, as I've had this blog for... 16 years... maybe?? the bulk of my follower count is likely abandoned blogs. Now, I don't care about the follower count, but such sharp drop makes me worried if there is some glitch causing mass deletion of blogs going on? Though my following list still looks the same, including the blogs that last updated 4+ years ago, so that probably isn't it.

[sadieshavingsex]

hi everyone. I think I have figured out the “real problem” in my life. I am really starting to understand myself, I think, in a new way. I understand how my entire concept of life fits well into the ideas of borderline personality disorder, codependency, fearful or anxious attachment, boundary issues, and more.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot this morning. Here is what I think is the root problem: i am literally, no hyperbole at all, clinically debilitated by my all-encompassing obsession with love.

What I mean by this is that I am so obsessed with finding a partner, attaching to a partner, stressing about a partner, discarding a partner, and starting the cycle over again that I feel I need some kind of clinical treatment, whether it’s inpatient our outpatient, whether it’s therapy or meds, or I need to join some kind of group like SLAA, whatever I can do to stop this uncontrollable issue that I have accidentally allowed to control my life for years.

I cannot stress enough that I am literally unable to experience life without these obsessions, and I see very little point in living without or outside of this cycle of romantic attachment. The advice to find a new hobby, see my friends more often, or take some time to relax by myself will never be enough—despite hanging out with people or working on a project, I will mentally be in a different place, wondering about my partner/crush or worrying about our relationship. The times are very few and far between when I am genuinely able to forget or not focus on this near-constant train of thought, and it usually happens when I am very busy or have a lot going on in some way. Even when I achieve this state, the moment that I am back to “normal” life with less demands or less concerted focus, the thoughts rush in again. And, much of the time when I am having these continuing obsessive thoughts, I genuinely believe that these thoughts are the most important thing I can focus on in my life, so I will sometimes have difficulty focusing on other stuff, participating in activities with others, or getting things done without these thoughts constantly playing in my mind.

I mean this in the most serious way possible. I am LITERALLY OBSESSED with romance and objects of affection. It sounds like I’m overexaggerating and I think that when I have become vaguely aware of this issue in the past and tried to tell people about it, it has generally been met with the assertion that I MUST be overexaggerating this in some way. And, if I’m not, then it is honestly something that seems super embarrassing to admit or talk about. But the truth is that I feel like I can’t overstate or overexaggerate the impact that this has on my life. I feel like it takes up every moment of my free time and then some, and it has ever since I was a child.

I know this issue essentially fits into all of these diagnoses and issues I’ve been experiencing and reading about, but I somehow feel that it transcends them as well. Like, THIS is the thing that makes normal aspects of life debilitating. THIS is the reason I let my boundaries fall by the wayside so easily. THIS is the reason I repeatedly find myself in situations that make no sense with what I’m actually trying to achieve. THIS is the problem. This singleminded uncontrollable OBSESSION with loving and being loved is INSANE. It is driving me actually nuts and running my life into the ground. It needs to be dealt with and it honestly cannot go on!!!!!!!!

Anyway. I feel encouraged by realizing that but I have no clue how to actually fix it. Thank you very much for reading lol.

[skaiylus]

"Omg I need to have better habits like not procrastinate & have better time management" I say as I procrastinate & cry while playing love & deepspace instead of finishing deep cleaning my room at 10pm

[itiswhatitisboi]

just discovered someone made a story on wattpad that essentially copied the EXACT layout theme and prelude chapter to my story “clueless” on wattpad……

[z0mbi3k1d]

AGHHHHHHHH TUMBLR YOUR DEAD TO ME!!!

I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING I POURED MY WHOLE HEART OUT ABOUT HOW PRETTY PEOPLE DON'T JUDGE AND IT DIDN'T SAVE????? WHAT!?!!?

I EVEN CLICKED SAVE

WAHHHHH

It was so long I don't wanna write it again :(