#genuinely thought this was going to be a big misunderstanding as a result of the obituaries

[chucktaylorupset]

So fun fact: I was really surprised to see this screenshot because I thought I remembered reblogging this post, only in the reblog chain I saw instead claimed that the origin of the xenomorph was from Dan O’Bannon’s experience as a disabled man with Crohn’s disease.

it turns out that there was straight up a different original poster for my version, which explains why I couldn’t find this set of reblogs.  So which was the true authorial intent?

Well, if you search the reblogs of the version of the post I saw, you get a quote from Dan O’Bannon that’s featured in a Cracked.com article which labels its sourced being from the documentary The “Alien” Saga. 

"One thing that people are all disturbed about is sex... I said 'That's how I'm going to attack the audience; I'm going to attack them sexually. And I'm not going to go after the women in the audience, I'm going to attack the men. I am going to put in every image I can think of to make the men in the audience cross their legs. Homosexual oral rape, birth. The thing lays its eggs down your throat, the whole number.'"

The odds of this all checking out are very probable, although I’m not quite at the point yet where I care enough to watch an entire documentary.

If you search for Dan O’Bannon and Crohn’s the articles are mostly obituaries like this one from The New York Times which speaks about O’Bannon having Crohn’s disease and his passing happening due to complications, that last part being stated by his wife and also has this quote

“I love gore films and I grew up with ’50s monster movies,” Mr. O’Bannon told the journal Cinefantastique in 1979, speaking of the film’s origins. “The idea for the monster in ‘Alien’ originally came from a stomach ache I had.”

But there’s also a bit in the LA Times obit that says it was after parasitic microorganisms.

O’Bannon said in a 2003 interview that he modeled the alien’s behavior after the life cycle of parasitic microorganisms.

“One thing I realized hadn’t been exploited in science fiction movies were the physical aspects,” he told the Star-Ledger of Newark, N.J. “The real world offered many examples which were extremely loathsome, and I thought, if it’s good enough for Mother Nature, maybe it will work on an audience.

Back to the stomach ache, best source for this I could find is a DenOfGeek.Com article that no longer exists on anything but the WaybackMachine.  A lot of the sourcing is taken from the author doing direct interviews with O’Bannon and Chris Foss, a film designer who worked on Alien. However the wayback machine copy of the article does not preserve the author’s name.

This blog post gets a prize for, despite probably being just some guy(s), actually has citations for its sources.  I ran into so many randos writing a blog post with a paragraph of summary with no direct quotes, and no citations.  Some of the sources on this blog are to print publications in Spanish I’m not going to try to tangle with, but assuming this is reliable, or at least represents a greater deal of effort to fabricate, O’Bannon would not be officially diagnosed with Crohn’s until after the after production on Alien, but would have been experiencing symptoms, so this accounts for why it is attributed to “food poisoning” or a “stomach ache,” because he wouldn’t yet have the diagnosis to inform the framework of these experiences, I can’t get better certainty without reading an actual biography.

Speaking of, one of the citations brings us to the closest thing to a direct source, an article from The Observer reviewing the book Shock Value by Jason Zinoman.   Which is presumably the source from which it derives claims like

Mr. O’Bannon, who died in 2009, was afflicted with Crohn’s disease and suffered its symptoms for decades: “The digestion process felt like something bubbling inside of him struggling to get out.” That’s how the most famous element of Alien—the creature hatching out of a man’s stomach—was born.

And is also the source of the claim on Dan O’Bannon’s wikipedia page.

tl;dr there is good reason to believe that screenwriter O’Bannon was inspired by parasites, his experience with crohn’s, and then also created sexual undertones in order to to discomfit his audience.

I have never seen the movie Alien.

https://beyoncescock.tumblr.com/post/690434966949117952/i-mean-id-be-scared-too

https://www.cracked.com/article_18932_alien-film-franchise-based-entirely-rape.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/21/movies/21obannon.html

https://www.latimes.com/local/obituaries/la-xpm-2009-dec-19-la-me-dan-obannon19-2009dec19-story.html

https://web.archive.org/web/20221005060816/https://www.denofgeek.com/movies/did-the-alien-franchise-come-from-a-bad-hamburger/

https://www.chrisfossart.com/

http://alienexplorations.blogspot.com/1979/06/chestburster-medical-inspiration.html

https://observer.com/2011/07/the-horror-the-horror-fright-flicks-finally-get-their-due/

\m/

[bamsara]

I'll ask, if it hasn't been already - regarding the tags on the fanfic poll:

What kinda things make you click out/give you the squick? I'm so curious 👀

rubs my hands together: could be a mix of things anywhere between character dynamics, personalities or even how the fic is formated

Btw for people who don't know what squicks are: 'Squicks' are just personal preferences that someone doesn't like. Nothing wrong with em it's just not your vibe. (Exp: Like how all my friends HATE tomatoes but I am tomato eater forever)

anyway long ramble list:

Can't read big blocks of text without breaks very well, and I dislike when characters (esp main characters that are talking in every chapter/scene) have bolded or italicized dialogue. I think it's fine for special reoccurring characters but it genuinely messes up with reading flow for me when it comes to taking in information if used too much

If I'm reading a fic specifically for a monogamous romantic paring, I don't care for the 'past lover interest reappears' trope or one of them currently has one, or the love triangle that results in one of them being like 'oh but i love them both i can't possibly choose!' *cough twilight cough* it just makes the relationship feel disgenuine and icky. zero stars. Any mention of a character's past relationship usually makes me just click out, just personally not here for that

-^^^ to go with this, big fan of the 'misunderstanding where someone thinks there's a love rivelry but the third person never had a chance.' Like to the main pairing there's only eyes for each other and that's all they care about, there's just some third person who's there and causing problems (either because someone in the pairing is jealous of the third person thinking they're gonna steal the other when it's not, or the third person thinks they're a love rival when in reality they're not even thought about) *cough Tyren cough*. I think there's a lotta comedy to have with this. Bonus points if it brings main pairing closer together

When characters have linear character development and recovery. I prefer my characters to realistically relapse and bit a little bit of a hypocrite as they develop from start of story to end. Failing and falling short and again makes the final result much more satisfying when they're healing

When characters use 'therapy speak' or otherwise react perfectly 'acceptable' to stressful situations. Again, I prefer realistic depictions of characters under stress, and work out becoming better under that stress rather than just One Big Thing Happen and suddenly they're never going to react negatively or lash out again because another character told them It Was Bad and To find Better Coping Mechanisms.

Unhappy endings. (Or open ended ones) Sorry for hurt/no comfort lovers but none of my fics will have unhappy endings. I like my stories to have people that go through absolute hell and still come out on the otherside

The ace in me doesn't care for fics where physical attraction is a large part of the ingredients that gets the pairing together. Not saying they can't admire each other when the sunlight hits them or wearing a nice outfit but just not a fan of reading about how 'sexy' a character is to another. Probably why I usually blast all my characters with the aspec beam

That's all I can think of off the top of my head but if someone had a more specific question I might be able to answer

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

what's keeping you away from genuine ways of expressing yourself?

this is a pick a pile tarot reading inspired by the new moon in leo, but is not specific to this particular moment in time. in astrology, the moon represents the unconscious mind, your emotions and in which ways your intuition works, while the zodiac sign leo is more oriented towards the ego, creativity and social relations. all of those things that tend to characterize this sign, usually means that some level of efficient and assertive communication is valuable for keeping away drama and misunderstandings, therefore, i thought about making this general reading to see what advice the cards have for something quite difficult for almost everyone: remaining true to our essence and being able to communicate that in a way that is genuine to us, our identity, our desires and our feelings, no matter who is listening.

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

images from pinterest and dividers by @fairytopea

꒰ঌ ✦ scroll down for the results ໒꒱ ༘*.ﾟ

-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ Masterpost and Tarot Menu ❁༺ ˎˊ-

˚ ༘ ೀpile number one ⋆｡˚

Your card for this reading is the King of Swords. What this tells me is that you value intellectual honesty, and you’re willing to go against your own emotions if that means that you’ll find the truth and that you are very likely to be perceived as someone who doesn’t have a filter or is too honest. It’s key that you understand that even if you don’t allow yourself to be guided by emotional attachments, other people do. Being highly logical or highly sensitive are both valuable, and both ways of thinking and acting have their pros and cons. But this card wouldn’t pop up if the logical ways of approaching things wasn’t causing some issues. Although holding yourself to a high standard of rationality when it comes to manifestations of the unconscious or the way you naturally relate to others can be beneficial, I feel as if that is also causing you to react coldly to your own emotions, instead of embracing them. You need to let go of the idea that things must be coherent and make sense all time, we are humans, and many of what makes us human doesn’t make too much sense or doesn’t work according to logic. Seeking order, patterns and structure in places where there’s not a big need for those, is not going to give you the truths that serve your personal development. It’s key that you take some time to embrace what seems absurd about yourself, without looking for logic, but looking for experiences that will guide you to the answers you need.

˚ ༘ ೀpile number two ⋆｡˚

The card for you on this reading is the Six of Wands. What I see here, is a lot of well deserved feelings of pride that you are protecting at all costs. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being proud, and I don’t even think this is the actual issue here. What’s blocking your most honest expressions is the fact that you are not allowing yourself the possibility of making a mistake, as you might feel this could take away from all the achievements you’ve had before. It’s key to know, when to be vulnerable, when to take a risk and where you are safe to try things out for the first time, but you are still not comfortable enough to embrace things about yourself that make you insecure, which is completely valid and understandable. In your case, I think that is okay if you want to preserve a sense of control over how others perceive you, yet it wouldn’t be healthy to allow others to expect things from you that are far too demanding to keep up with sometimes. It is necessary that you start setting honest boundaries with others and with yourself, in order to preserve a healthy sense of worth. Your value as a person is not defined by your achievements, or your failures, it is defined by how and why you do what you do no matter the result. When your intentions are honest and you are trying to better yourself or help others, it doesn’t matter what the final outcome is.

˚ ༘ ೀpile number three ⋆｡˚

Your card is the Chariot. The meaning of this card has to do with life experiences, movement and some level of chaos that is necessary in order to grow. I see that you are capable to maintain a certain level of peace of mind even when things around you are hectic, and this is something that might attract some people who are either amazed or envious of this.  In your case, I think that being all over the place (socially, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally) means that you are not quite sure yet on where you stand in relation to certain aspects of your life. This might seem like a problem, because some people are more settled on their beliefs or have more stable lives than you, but in reality, the fact that you are willing to try everything you can before committing is actually something that makes your life something richer. It’s completely normal to feel uncertain, confused and lost, but this shouldn’t keep you away from giving yourself the credit you deserve for the way you have chosen to experience life. Take some pride on what makes you different, and take pride on the process of self exploration you are, even if you are far away from finding a solid philosophy or stability in your life, embrace the fact you are capable of experiencing things without many attachments.

-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ Masterpost and Tarot Menu ❁༺ ˎˊ-

[bibluebutterfly]

It is truthfully so impressive to watch how we've watched Stolas grow as a seemingly asshole character to a genuine person who truly does want the best for the person we love. (HEADS UP: This is LONG)

Now, and we're only going to lightly touch on this because the Pilot isn't cannon, but it still contributed to the public opinion on Stolas. In other words, he was borderline predatory in a way that made EVERYONE uncomfortable. (It makes sense though since he was innitially supposed to be the villain. Which thank goodness that was changed because we already see enough bisexual predators in media as it is. Yes, I'm headcannoning that Pilot Stolas was bi.)

Then we get official episode 1. Stolas is... not much better. Although to his credit, he's not as bad or as creepish. The unfair power dynamic is very there, and he definitely talks down to Blitz, but at least he waits until Blitz agrees before getting to the pilot level of sexual.

And then we kind of just keep this up until episode 7. Stolas is VERY sexual and VERY horny with Blitz, and you either like it or you don't. It was consensual, nobody forced anything, and even Blitz says that he doesn't fuss about banging Stolas, but that power imbalance is very much there.

Stolas is calling him by pet names like "my little imp" and is baby talking him, which really comes off like his fetish is sleeping with the lower class. Again, you either like Stolas at this point or you don't.

HOWEVER, despite all his baby talk and just generally inappropriate behavior, we are shown very early on that Stolas has a loving side, mainly in the form of his daughter. "You Will Be Okay" was the thing that got most people from hating him to actually liking him. It was the thing that separated him from just being a horny owl.

Then Ozzies. Hooo boy. This is where we finally get to see Stolas apart from Blitz's POV and as it turns out... he's kind of a pathetic dork more than anything else. We see him go very low. Like the man is alone in his big house eating cereal for breakfast in his bathrobe and watching telenovelas. It's hard to go lower than that. More importantly, it's a stark contrast from how we saw him just one episode ago.

Not just that, but when he's asked out on the date he is genuinely so excited and awkward that you just can't help but feel bad for the guy.

And then we have Hells healthiest couple have their dick moment which leads to Stolas covering his face, validating every and anything Blitz had feared, which lead to him calling out Stolas which leads to them both crying at home.

AND THEN WE GET THE THING THAT MAKES EVERYONE EITHER LOVE STOLAS OR THINK THAT HE'S RUINED.... THE CIRCUS.

Yeah, so it turns out the arranged marriage theory was true, and that Stella has been verbally abusive for who knows how long. But the real kicker is how much it explains Stolas's behavior from season 1. As it turns out, Blitz coming on so strong that night resulted in Stolas trying (badly) to copy that energy. And it turns out that when Blitz told him to stop that first night, he still ended up tying Stolas up and banging him. So... understandable. It turns out that Stolas never wanted to be malicious with his intentions, but genuinely thought that the arrangement was something that they both wanted.

But at the same time, he realizes that misunderstanding or no, a part of him did recognize that Blitz wasn't as happy as he was, and that he can't gaslight himself into thinking otherwise anymore.

Now the big thing about season 2 we all need to talk about, is how hard and fast it took Stolas off the regal and powerful pedestal that I think we all subconsciously put him on. Whatever mystery and darkness that surrounded him in season 1 went completely out the window in season 2. But personally I believe that this fits as season 1 was mostly told from Blitz's POV while season 2 takes place in Stolas's when he's there.

Stolas does not see himself as something regal and powerful. Stolas, as it turns out, is a romantic as well as a MASSIVE dork. Like he's disney princess levels of dorkiness. The man even gets his own slapstick moment for crying out loud.

But aside from that, he's highly intelligent and a genuinely good person who will put others before him if he can recognize the benefit.

Also, while we're on the topic, I don't think that Stolas is as powerful as we or Blitz were led to believe. Like yes, he's got immense power to those who have none.

But at the same time, put him next to Asmodeus, and this demon who seemed so strong before is actually tiny in comparison. Especially when noted that Ozzie was still holding back in this scene.

Now we have the "Look My Way" MV. By now, any dark mystery is gone, we know who Stolas is, but what we didn't expect to see was how blatantly Stolas realized his mistakes and took responsibility. This whole season we saw him be sad over his relationship with Blitz, but we never expected him to realize just how badly he messed up.

But he did. And it was glorious. And again, we realize how much he truly cares for Blitz, this isn't just him saying "I care about him" then doing nothing. This is him realizing he cares about Blitz, and wanting to do something to make it right. Even if that means Blitz will never want to see him again.

Anyway. If you made it this far, I'm impressed. As I've said before, I'm proud of the owl boy and how far he's come as a character. Tell me if you think I missed anything.

[earl-grey-teacake]

How’d you get into writing? I have a few general ideas but have no idea how they would come to fruition 😭!

I got into writing fanfic because I really wanted to see certain things written out and to read them. I just felt this overwhelming need to write just so I could read it. It is very much "if you want to eat something, you have to make it yourself."

I know you are just asking how I got into it but I thought I would include my process in case you found it helpful. For background, I've been writing fanfic for 7 years. For a very long time, I was not good at writing. I learned English very close to the end of my critical period for language learning and struggled for over a decade before I got my footing. Through my own experiences and what I learned from school, I figured out how I prefer to go about write.

I am going to use First Fight from the Baby!Loscar AU as an example since it took me the longest to write. I came up with the idea in April but did not manage to finish it until August but I felt I improved my writing process a lot more.

The idea- which is the stage I think you are at. You have an idea and maybe a scene figured out but you haven't worked it out how this scene connects and how everything forms a whole story.

My idea was just " Logan and Oscar having their first big fight and not handling it well."

2. Write the most imperfect draft you can- I don't say rough draft because it makes people think that the next draft has to be a final draft. I genuinely mean imperfect. Grammar and punctuation? Does not matter. Formatting? Doesn't exist. Logic and cohesive timeline? Irrelevant. What you want is for all your thoughts and ideas to be on a page and it can be in any way you want. It can be bullet points, written scenes, summaries. Doesn't matter.

My imperfect draft was just this section of dialogue and it sat on my computer for months

“We are not friends! Go away!” Oscar had yelled.

“I don’t like you! I hate you!” Logan had yelled back.

“I hate you too!” Those were the last words spoken between them.

3. Know what you want to get across- This is your Northern star, it will guide you when you are lost. Dialogue, timelines, plot- all of those things are subject to change. What isn't going to change is the message you wanted to get across. What is your theme, your core?

For First Fight, it was "these kids do not handle being separated very well. They love each other, they had a misunderstanding, and now they refuse to apologize to each other. As a result they are suffering."

4. You write the roughest draft known to man- I mean very, very rough. Expand a a bit on your imperfect draft, write a couple more scenes you would like to see. They don't need to go together yet, they just need to be on paper. Write out every scene you would like to see play out.

This was Oscar and Logan refusing to play together, Oscar playing alone with Charles, and the ending where they reconcile.

5. Polish up those sections- I know people say to polish at the end and I also do that but making the scenes you wrote look nice will help you feel confident in your work. Include the descriptions, the formatting, the add that bit of sparkle to the dialogue. Figure out the writing style you want to write in and edit all the sections to fit that.

6. Lock in- This is the not so fun part. Pick a free day, get a drink. Now is the time to write everything in between. The boring dialogue, the paragraphs that transition the reader from one scene to another, the scenes that are just lead up to the bigger, funner, more impressive scenes. They don't need to be perfect that just need to be on the page. By the end of it, you will have a some what cohesive plot. Will it be perfect? No. Will you enjoy reading it? Not really. Does it make you want to give up and write something else? Yes, but do not do that.

7. Read it and mull it over for a day- Do not touch the rough draft. Just read it and think about it. Do you like how the plot is? Do you want it funnier? sadder? Do you like how the characters are speaking? Does it feel natural to you? Is it giving what you want it to give? Is it following your Northern star?

8. Change everything you don't like- Delete everything you don't love. If it bothered you enough to stick with you for a day, you can toss it out. You feel like you need permission to delete it? Here's your permission, delete it. I have deleted half of a fic before. Nothing is sacred because none of it is perfect. Toss it out. Replace it something newer. Do you feel better when you replace it? Yes, then that's great. You don't feel better? Put something else in.

9. Do you love to read it?- It is not would other people love to read it. Is it not "is it perfect?" It is do you love to read it, if you were to come across this fic in the middle of the day on AO3. Would you be excited to see it? If the answer is no, repeat step 8 and 9. Do it until the answer is yes or until you cannot change anything else in it.

10. Polish it- Now that you love your work, it is the time to make it easier to read. Separate out your paragraphs, throw it into a grammar checker, format (bold, italicize, etc.). This is where you make it look pretty.

11. Post it- Congratulations! You posted your work on AO3! You did it! Pat yourself on the back and treat yourself to some boba. The work is your baby. You worked hard on it and you should be proud.

FAQ

I wrote all of this and I love it but what if other people don't love it?

They will. None of us writing know for sure if people will love or hate our work before we post it. So until someone outright sends a 500 word count rant about how much they despise it, assume everyone will love it.

What if it isn't perfect?

Many things in this world aren't perfect and we love them. A plushie that was sewn wrong or is missing an ear is still picked up and loved. A puppy missing a leg or an eye is still a beloved part of the family. Writing isn't about being perfect, it is about being human. It is your words, your emotions, and your imagination all on a page and like all humans, you writing will improve as we all do. I don't consider any of my writing perfect and yet, I continue to write because I want to get better and because I love it.

What do you use to write?

You don't need any tools to write but some make it easier for you than others. I recently spent money on Bsun Tuzi switches for my keyboard and it had helped me write a lot quicker but a mechanical keyboard is an investment and a pricey one.

I use Apple Pages to write since I like how clean their format it. I also organize my work on Notion or Obsidian,

I started off writing on Google docs and Word so you don't need the fancy stuff.

I don't know how to write dialogue.

Since I mainly do F1 and Indycar RPF, my biggest recommendations is to listen to Grill the Grid and podcasts. I don't usually be press interviews since I find the drivers to be more stifled and are likely saying what their team wants to say. They tend to be a bit more human on Grill the Grid and podcasts.

I just listen and see what each of them like to talk about, how they talk, etc.

I hope this helps. If you want me to elaborate on something, let me know. Feel free to ask me more questions.

[xanvasofxords]

Thoughts On SaiTeru & Why It Makes Sense To Me

Honestly speaking, I wasn’t too big on this ship but over the time, it has definitely grown a lot on me and I’d actually like if they took that route. Mainly because Saiki ending up with someone other than Kokomi wouldn’t make sense, after all the progression they went through, ending up with each other is natural. Besides, whatever Kokomi wills eventually happens so if I had to guess I’d go with the prior lol. That aside, imo they fit each other the best.

I haven’t done ship analysis posts before so the sequence is pretty messy but I’ll try to keep it as organised as possible so it’s easier to read. Let’s start anyways :

Starting off with the very thing that places Kokomi at the top of the food-chain : her charms. Due to Saiki’s x-ray vision, that ability is rendered completely useless against him. As a result, Saiki recognises her for her true self and knows her inside out. While he’s aware of her flaws, he also witnesses her growth as a person. She makes true friends and starts to enjoy their company and care about them. For Saiki, she stops dreaming about marrying a rich guy and rejects Saiko.

Kokomi even gives up on playing the perfect pretty girl which she has been doing for years, just for his sake.

Likewise, Saiki’s psychic powers have little to no effect on Kokomi because she’s loved by the God himself and she gets whatever she wants. Regardless of how hard Saiki tries to win against her, he always ends up losing instead, all the while her likability with him increases.

Her efforts in her role, her wits and abilities surprise him enough to make him wonder if she’s actually perfect. He even goes as far as to say that they’re invincible together. Saiki goes from being half-scared of her powers to fully acknowledging and admiring her by the end.

Before Kokomi, Saiki has dealt with people who had crush on him- Imu and Chiyo. He made them give up on him with ease which resulted into him believing that it’s easy to move people’s hearts. Kokomi however, breaks that misconception by moving his own and shows him that she loves him just as he is and that won’t change.

And it’s because he’s aware that her feelings are genuine, unlike the other two, he stops resisting her completely and starts avoiding possible misunderstandings. When Kokomi changes herself to suit his tastes, Saiki doesn’t actively try to make her give up on him instead tries to revert her back to her usual self. He isn’t bothered by her feelings for him anymore, rather prefers her the way she is.

There are only a few times in the show when Saiki gets nervous. Even Nendou and Kusuke who he can’t use his telepathy on, don’t have that effect on him. Yet being alone with Kokomi makes him nervous. Prior to the mixer event, Saiki has been alone with her on more than one occasion. After that day however, Saiki’s perception of Kokomi changes. He’s aware that she truely loves him and won’t give up on him no matter how indifferent he acts towards her. It’s fairly new to him, accepting the fact that someone loves him despite all the odds and she actually manages to make him happy because of it.

Just like how Kokomi gives up on the most important thing for Saiki, being perfect that is, he does the same for her. Saiki hates drawing attention to himself and he puts a lot of efforts in that. However, he gives up on that without a moment’s thought and catches Kokomi in his arms in front of the entire school and takes her to the infirmary. There couldn’t be any better way to draw attention.

My point remains the same even if I don’t include this because Kokomi’s beauty has always been irrelevant in their relationship and this is the first and only time we see Saiki being attracted to someone. Ironically, Saiki reacts to seeing Kokomi just as any other guy would and he’s too transparent about it. Not to Kokomi but to the readers.

From time to time, Kokomi’s likability with Saiki increases to such point where he subconsciously sees her differently than others. I’m sure there are people who would disagree because Saiki makes exceptions for all his friends and Kokomi shouldn’t be different. There are multiple counter to that arguement.

One of the two is when Saiki turns invisible and shares a drink with Kokomi. Honestly, whatever happened in that chapter doesn’t make sense in the least.

Saiki has gone out of his way to get Kokomi’s valentines chocolates. I can say that’s because he loves sweets. He buys her a birthday gift : the cat mug, I can reason that he even got Chiyo a soft toy back when she was dating Takeru to make their relationship last. Several times he has gone out of his way to check up on his friends such as when Aren received a fake love letter or when Kaido and Chiyo had a misunderstanding and stayed with them the entire time to make sure everything was alright.

However, this time the only thing he has to do is avoid her and go home. Kokomi isn’t in any trouble nor does she need his help for anything. So he succeeds the moment he manages to lose her by getting up in the air. All he needs to do his teleport home.

But he doesn’t. We don’t know why.

He just turns invisible which saves him from the men searching for him, again he can teleport home or even walk home. But he just decides to sit there with her and share her drink for some reason and leaves only when she thinks of doing the same. Which is outright ridiculous because he could just leave the moment Kokomi lost him but he does the opposite and does exactly what Kokomi wanted on his own free will except, differently.

Last but not the least, the most significant moment is when Saiki hears Kokomi’s voice in the end. Having read the manga, it’s clear that Kokomi’s part is supposed to stand out from others but the added scene in the anime makes it more obvious.

I think there’s more to this moment than most talk about. Other than the fact that Saiki reacts to Kokomi’s name, what makes him smile is that even when Kokomi knows that her life is in danger, she still thinks about him. He realises that the girl he finds so troublesome truely does love him. And he knows that in the end, what she wants, will happen. Through him this time. Personally I think this scene acts as the trigger to Saiki realising that he needs his powers and he doesn’t actually hate being a psychic.

All in all, Kokomi is the only one who balances out Saiki perfectly and Saiki is the one who made her develop as a person. They’re compatible with each other and even Saiki believes that. Both have lasting impact on each other even without being able to use their respective powers which solidifies the fact that the progression is genuine. Both have polar opposite nature, Kokomi loves receiving attention while Saiki hates that. However when push comes to shove, Kokomi’s willing to sacrifice her perfect pretty girl role while Saiki’s ready to draw attention to himself despite all the efforts they both put into their respective places.

Kokomi influences Saiki’s thought process despite him being able to read her like an open book. She makes him guess his choices and decisions. She brings surprises and challenges in his life. Saiki does the same since he isn’t affected by her charms, he makes her focus on other things beside looks. And he’s literally the only one who recognises her for herself and not her beauty unlike her own brother. I could go on forever about how they complement each other but that’s for another day.

I may not be the biggest SaiTeru shipper out there but I most definitely think Saiki should either remain single or end up with Kokomi. I prefer the later.

[ofmermaidstories]

HI same anon from earlier. but. how did you develop your writing style? i love how personalized your voice is and it’s genuinely so enjoyable to read! sm appreciation for you and your art <3

you know how like, people have accents? not regional ones—but like, you might meet someone at uni or work, and almost immediately you can clock that they a) watch a lot of anime and b) maybe read a lot of 80s/90s fantasy/scifi? it’s like that! it’s when someone’s voice is very clearly informed by what they’re consuming or are active in. like how being chronically online means you can pick a twitter user (they’re always inserting disclaimers or over-explaining themselves to prevent misunderstanding or explicitly clarifying a position). it’s the same principle!! i write like i talk, and i talk like i do because i consume a lot of stuff lmao.

one of my favourite tiktoks is like, this girl pouncing on an older woman—she’s big in the fashion industry but her name is escaping me rn—to ask her where she gets her style from, and the woman is just like, “be interested in other things!!!”. and we say that all time in writing circles, right? like, read more, watch more movies, etc etc but it’s so true, because it’s only by exposing yourself to whatever you can that you can then start like, parring down the things you like, and then work through what you like about them.

i like poetry. and i like music. we all like music!! but music has cadence the same way us speaking to each other does. some of my favourite books are in first-person and because we’re in first-person, we’re in the character’s head 24/7, which means we’re privvy to the music of their thoughts. because it is music! i don’t think in complete sentences, do you? i think in—fragments, like a burst of song. or in details. i like details!!! they’re often the first thing i notice in situations, so i include them when i write, and i’ll read authors that include them, too. but then it’s a bit of a trap, because you have to have a light hand with it—you can’t just over-describe everything, it’s going to bore everyone—so we come back to poetry. it’s a good way of reading about that momentary focus on an otherwise mindless detail, and realising how much grounding it can bring to a piece (or a sentence). but then we come back to music and our thoughts. details don’t just stand alone! they exist as a part of other things! you don’t just have the smudged silver of an ice bucket from an empty ice machine in a motel, you have an ice bucket because you’re… standing in the burning hot heat of a motel in the middle of the desert. and maybe the bucket is smudged because the manager running this place literally doesn’t care, and the cleaner is busy scrubbing vomit out of the carpet in the room next to yours, and it’s a worn-down, hard-luck place where people don’t come by choice because it’s like, built on the old highway that existed before they put it one of those mega-freeways that have now bypassed the town and everyone here is poor. i’m not american, i don’t know anything about freeways, but i like history!!! i like things, i like fashion. i wanted to be an animator when i was a kid, and the lingering result of me frantically taking in whatever i could, back in the day, is that i still have a interest in like, idk, cold-war era animation lmao. and this all sounds stupid just rattling off, but what i’m trying to say is that when you take in and discover things you love, it informs your voice and ultimately your style. like i could give you a laundry list of my favourite, personhood-defining books right now (flowers in the attic [read when i was twelve, has always stuck with me in the imagery], chuck palahniuk in general [one of my first intros to second-person pov], shirley jackson in general again, romance novels written in the 90s lmao, the virgin suicides, like—there’s a lot) but it’s not a recipe, because my other interests feed into how i write. 🥹 i like perfume (literally fighting with someone about it rn on twitter lmao), so i’m on fragrantica, a site for reviewing them. which means i am routinely exposed to like, people describing scents!!! and the thing with perfume is that like, if you don’t know what an iris smells like, then you’re kinda up shit creek, right? like, sometimes we’re just not exposed to things! so it’s really common for perfume reviews to try and invoke feeling—and some of it is like, yeah, marketing lmao, like, trying to get you to feel sentimental or hopeful enough to buy a bottle, but if i say “this smells like iris” vs. “this smells creamy and powdery soft, like uncapping an expensive lipstick” you’re gonna get a better idea of things!!! like you still might not know what an iris smells like—but you know what creamy is, what powdery might be. what overpriced luxury type items might entail.

the worst part about this is that none of it came together overnight. like i wish i could just prescribe things, books, like, yes, read this and then you’ll be able to write the exact same way. but it doesn’t work like that! this is quite literally a lifelong effort. so if you wanna develop your own style then like—you have to tend to everything else first. 🥹 you have to love and be excited about other things, because it will tighten your sentences (or blow them up!) and give you music—or an accent lmao—to think in. 🥹

[klunkcat]

tagged by @goodlucktai <3333

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

45 lol but i have I think. 30 wips that exist somewhere on my computer at any given moment. alas.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

701,032

which..... is like far too many words per fic actually imo

3. What fandoms do you write for?

honestly whatever currently grabs my brain stem changes a lot but i think my top ones are tmnt and stranger things (what a wild combo actually). Actively atm I have a trigun wip and a tmnt one

4. Top five fics by kudos?

A Kiss is a Kiss (But it's never like this) - 6,528

(something happens and I'm) head over heels - 3,518

Green with Envy - 1,880

Forget the mess I'm in - 1,791

Weak Point - 1,366

5. Do you respond to comments?

literally I am the WORST for remembering to reply I'm so sorry. I must say that I do read all of them in my email and screenshot them and cry

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

angsty endings are too much 4 me I believe so strongly in hurt/comfort but....

Impossible Things and the Tin Can I think is the most like, conceptually tragic series I've written

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Comfort is a requirement but I think but like Stepping over the line is basically just an extended meet cute so nothing really sad happens at all lol?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Actually genuinely have never gotten a rude comment in my life I did once get someone being hyper pushy about new chaps when I was like.... 19? Sometimes comments veer I think towards misunderstanding unreliable narrator elements and can be a little intense as a result

9. Do you write smut?

ehhhhhh closest I've ever gotten was dancing around the topic lol

10. Craziest crossover?

omg me and tai have gone down some rabbit holes and made a tangled/good omens fusion among other things, which was cute 2 me

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've gotten some requests, not sure if they got uploaded anywhere?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did once many years ago but we didn't end up finishing it from what I remember!

14. All time favourite ship?

oh god I mean. ineffable husbands and wangxian invented romance. big mckirk and vashwood fan despite what my published fics would tell you. stsg ruined my life this year. I'm really big on platonic friendships though personally

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My google docs are a cesspit of fics I will never finish. Once made a wangxian softball fic that will never see the light of day but I think of it fondly

16. What are your writing strengths?

Might actually be a weakness and not a strength but boy do I love prosey metaphor nonsense. Sometimes I think it works other times who's 2 say.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Fighting scenes man, combat is hard as hell.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

in general I dooooon't write it too much just because I don't speak anything beyond like. grade 2 level spanish so.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

tmnt :' )

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Oh tricky. Stealing tai's idea of a top 5

Forget-Me-Nots - :') big ol love u to tai for this

Both the Sweet and the Bitter - so sorry to anyone who follows me for ST fics because I'm probably never going to write for it ever again or finish this but a dear friend of mine helped me with this story and it means a lot 2 me as a result. The flower metaphors were fun to research.

Plain White Beach Houses - also same as the above but idk pacific rim au....house metaphors.... I love this series a lot

change up, high inside - wanted to write a softball fic for my whole life basically and this is more or less me just waxing poetic about the sport if I'm honest

Feedback Loop - this fic was actually insane like. took me I think a full year to write out? There's a lot of stuff in this that I lol cannot reread anymore for reasons but damn if it wasn't a learning experience to write all around

Tagging @eternalglitch @byrdybyrd02 @jinbugs if u want to besties!

[noxunderground]

Really quick MLP doodle sort of around the infamous Bats episode.

My (sleep deprived) thoughts under cut

I really feel like a lot of people seem to misunderstand that the meaning of the episode is to show the consequences of close-mindedness and acting out of fear. I think it tackles the more flawed part of AJ (outside of her ironic dishonesty) and how she struggles to break away from her morals, especially when things/ponies she loves are in danger.

AJs reaction in The Bats episode is really understandable, but the episode is trying to showcase how sometimes no matter how justified our actions are, doesn't mean those actions dont have unintended, negative consequences.

Fluttershy ultimately is pressured into going against her own morals, resulting in not only further harm to AJs farm, but also direct harm to herself that was likely somewhat permanent. Additionally, in the end of the episode, the compromise Fluttershy initially offered (and yes, it was a compromise) is shown to actually be successful like she had said it would.

Why would she know this though? Because she also works with plants. She literally owns a whole homestead. While it's not a farm, it makes sense she'd know that the bats actually help with orchard trees because she likely has several due to her proximity to the everfree forest. Its also insinuated she relies on her gardening skills to help maintain her own business and livelihood.

I honestly feel The Bats episode was a spiritual sequel to that one episode about AJ and the Buffalo/Bison, but this time trying to avoid direct cultural references as they did horribly in that particular one. But it does fascinate me that I see a lot of (usually younger) people genuinely villainize Fluttershy or talk down about her stance just because she "doesnt have a family to look after" when she clearly does? And even if she didn't, the way she was treated in the episode is clearly meant to be painted as the WRONG thing to do to a friend.

Tldr; The episode isnt meant to be a who is technically right or wrong. It's about how disagreaments between friends about a big issue shouldn't mean outright war, or putting the other in a position of harm. It's about working it out and trying to see the other's perspective, even if we dont want to.

Anyways Im going to sleep :'p

[queer-whatchamacallit]

Just rewatched 1x04 “Dogs” and here’s what I got for ya :D

Carmy’s “It’s on me now,” when talking about the debt Mikey and Richie put The Beef in, he doesn’t want to get into it being “his brother’s house,” it seems like everything there leads back to Michael, and that’s how he likes it, but he never wants to talk about it

“Name one cohort, name an associate” is one of my favorite lines lmao

Carm seems especially hot tempered in this bit, maybe because he doesn’t want to be catering a kids party, maybe he’s just not doing great after Mike’s birthday

“I answer to Jeff, the system” I love how T has incorporated Carmy into her idea of how The Beef functions, at some point he became part of the system :]

Carmy going to Cicero’s old address both shows how much everything has changed while he was gone and that he very much didn’t have the energy to keep track of any of it

One of the big displays of how the Berzattos want to be listened to but never listen to each other is the Cicero vs Richie argument, they’ve been at each other’s throats over a simple misunderstanding for 5 whole years

I need the “how she fell down those stairs” story please please please

I’m sure we’ve seen the post about the Mr Szorski (?) and how if someone heard “one of the Berzatto boys committed suicide” their head would easily go to Carmy instead of Mikey and… yeah ow

People should call Richie “Dick” more, it’s literally his name

“Richie what the fuck is that?” Carmy asks and you can almost hear his stomach drop in his voice when he sees the Xanax, also, this in combination with the “is there a name for that thing where you’re scared of a good thing happening because you think something band’s gonna happen?” “Life?” Starts to feel like Richie does genuinely have anxiety shit, and Carm’s “Who doesn’t?” Creates an interesting dynamic between them, they’re both really fucked up and reassuring the other that it’s completely normal

Gotta love Carm’s brag of “homemade Ecto-cooler motherfucker!”

And Chester’s “it’s this radiant orchid that’s fly as fuck”

There’s also the post about Marcus blowing off his work for the donuts because he thinks that level of dedication is what Carmy wants and the 1x07 breakdown mostly being the result of miscommunication, and yeah, Marcus’ “I want it to be perfect, like that plum” contributes to that

“You have given Marcus a lot of confidence, well done” from Ebra to Syd is so sweet omg

When Carmy has to go inside the party, he asks for ketchup from anyone and everyone, trying to get out of there ASAP

I think one of Carmy’s biggest love languages is words of affirmation, ie: Pete saying he worked at the best restaurant in the world (and that’s not an exaggeration), plus Pete telling him later about following his career and stuff, and suddenly Carmy likes Pete now

Jimmy goes “that fuckin kid” and Richie just says “that kid” in a way that feels detached, pretty much any time Richie talks about Mike, it feels like he’s just stating facts and trying to keep his emotions out of it as much as possible

Pete (loml) being so insufferably awkward <333

But also him being so sincere and “she also really missed you a lot too,” Carm’s been completely bombarded by his family yelling at him and I can only imagine how nice it was to hear that

Unless the cross got stuck by his coat or something, Carm’s necklace is just a gold chain

Cicero isn’t Italian, but he’s still related to Carm’s dad

“When was the last time you saw him?” And “he never lands” both point to him being alive (at least that they know of, this is a reckless guy that was last seen 20 years ago)

“Drugs, alcohol, gambling, mostly because he insisted on doing stupid fuckin shit all the time” Carmy’s eyes looks up from what he was doing to look at the picture again and I have this thought that this is him going ‘hey, that sounds familiar’ and Jimmy starts talking about Carm’s dad hopping careers and Carm knows for sure that Michael was a lot like his dad

“I’m in there for 5 minutes, I start thinking about bad shit” “I think that’s why I like it so much,” he’s not someone who avoids reliving his traumas, he’s always trying to take what hurt him and regain power over it, and now, we know he’s aware of this pattern of his

I think the kid in Cicero’s dream was Carmy. I think he really tried to look out for the Berzatto siblings, but the other two were already affected by their dad’s presence, unlike Carmy who just saw his absence, but Cicero always tried to put on a brave face and offer a helping hand to Carm. They seem close

“Taste it and tell me it’s shitty,” I don’t think Tina’s ever had that level of effort and care required of her in The Beef, and now, she’s terrified that when she really, truly cares, it won’t be good enough

But it is, and her “Thanks Jeff… Chef” means the world to me

Carmy isn’t good at articulating his thoughts, but sometimes, he’ll figure out his own methods of non-verbal communication, like his point to Marcus, and I think Marcus does get his intended “I care, good job Chef, I love to see you improving” from it

So I think that is all!

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/736979234960048128/dispatch-knows-a-lot-more-tha-the-rest-of-us

I'll assume this anon genuinely wants to know and isn't trying to play this as some sort of 'gotcha' because I addressed this exact thing in my very first ask. It's not like I'm not playing fair. I've been very honest about how shippers in general, including t/kers can fall victim to reading too much into nothing due to misunderstanding of Korean language, culture or current political and social state of the country

I'm sure there may be some t/kers reading or finding this whose feelings I've also hurt by speaking plainly.

Anon, do you not think it weird how Dispatch hyperfocus on Taekook even though apparently j/kook are the most popular ship domestically, Jimin is the most popular Bangtan member domestically and j/kook as a ship is immensely popular in their own right worldwide?

Dispatch do seem particularly fond of Taehyung so perhaps that is where their interest lays in his most popular ship BUT it still remains fact that the ship they've decided to throw their publicity behind is Taekook so the POSSIBILITY of them sitting on more conrecte information cant be ruled out--but to make it clear once more, Dispatch would NEVER make any direct claims about a same sex idol relationship at this point because as I said, the backlash could lead to a legitimate risk to people's lives (in terms of harming ones self) the resulting pressure from such an exposure could be devastating to an idol's career and wellbeing.

All you will ever get from Dispatch in that regard is things that can be passed off as engagement tactics or fanservice---though the point was as a counter to someone else's claim that j/kook were the most popular pairing. If that's true and the point is just engagement then why aren't they going straight to the top demographic? Why aren't they even dividing that attention between all the popular Bangtan ships?

And Dispatch is still a Korean news outlet that focuses on Korean news. It being accessible internationally doesn't change that or shift the target market.

The fact is that nobody knows definitively what is happening between whom but this is again falling in with my encouragement to stop creating things that don't exist and start paying attention to the things that actually do and how they all pull together.

Hi again anon!

Good points! Gonna insert some of my own thoughts as well.

I think it’s more complicated than just ‘Dispatch knows’, because Dispatch isn’t one person.. it’s a company with many employees. Not all of those employees will actually know, some might suspect maybe, but it’s not likely that many will actually know. Those people filming at the airport for instance, not likely in the know.. they are just there on assignment. The person giving them that assignment.. they might know, but they might also just be working according to a strategy. So when we talk about Dispatch knows, it’s not like all editors and photographers and textwriters and camera teams know.

In my opinion big companies like Dispatch will mostly think of their own benefits first. So when they found out somewhere along the way that Tae and Jk might be actually a couple, they didn’t think ‘wow, this is a great story’ they thought ‘now how can we turn this into a profitable situation?’. Outing them would not be profitable on the long run, a big scandal like that would only make them money short term and it would ruin Jk’s and Tae’s lives.. and perhaps even that of all BTS members by association. Dispatch would loose the relationship they have with BH, no longer getting scoops. But, if they negotiated a deal with BH.. they would be getting way more out of it for an extended period of time. And we kinda see that.

Dispatch staying out of Taennie imo also was negotiated (no Taennies, not because it was real 🙄).

Dispatch’s interest lies with Tae and Jk. As a duo Jm and Jk should be able to pull as much interest. It’s also not just because of Tae, because Vmin also does not get this treatment. So yeah.. there’s something odd there.

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

Who made me a Villain (3)

[Masterlist] [Ao3]

(Part 1) (Part 2)(here) (Part 4)

------

Rebel hummed to the tune of Jagged Stone’s newest single as she spray-painted her newest masterpiece on the wall of some office building. The full moon shone bright enough for her to see without the need for a flashlight.

Then a dark shadow loomed over her.

Rebel ignored the glare Batman was giving her, focusing on the shading of her mural.

“Rebel.” came his one-worded demand.

She didn’t look at him and took a step back to admire her nearly finished handiwork instead.

“I feel like something is missing here.” she said, slightly tilting her head and tapping her lips in thought. Or the approximate location where her lips would be since the lower half of her face was covered by a mask.

Batman kept staring at her. Perfectly still but his impatience was still obvious from his body language.

“Oh.” She clapped her hands as inspiration struck her. “What if I added some thorny vines here?” she said. She motioned with her hand where the vines would spread out from her portrait of Poison Ivy.

“Add a subtle threat, don’t you think so, Monsieur Bat?” She turned around to face him, finally acknowledging his presence.

“Rebel.” He narrowed his eye lenses to show that he was giving her the ‘tired dad glaring at her’ face.

“It’s not like I am doing anything bad.” She shrugged her shoulders and rummaged through her duffel bag for her green paint can.

“You are vandalising the property.”

“So do you on a regular basis.”

“Hn.” He grunted, not able to refute that statement.

A snort came from behind her, “Hah. She got you there, B.”

Rebel jumped, startled.

“Damn it, Robin. You know I hate it when you bat-people sneak up on me like that.”

Robin just smirked at her.

“This is completely unfair, you know. Ganging up on me like this.” Rebel complained as she uncapped her green spray paint can and shook it.

“What do you know about the Red Hood?”

Oh no. Rebel hated that voice of Batman. If she was on less friendlier terms with Batman, like the Penguin, she probably would have been thrown to the wall. She would have to get an arm cast, just like the Penguin had for the past month.

Rebel paused in what she was doing.

“Why are you asking me about that?” She asked, genuinely confused about why Batman had asked her of all people about the newest vigilante/maybe villain in Gotham. “Like you aren’t the head of the Rebellion, the biggest gang in all of Gotham.” Robin said, with a wide grin. “And best information network on all things criminal.”

“Don’t call me that.” Rebel groaned. 

People seemed to think the ‘Rebellion’ worked for her no matter how much she corrected them on the misunderstanding and she was getting tired of correcting them.

“I am not leading the gang. I am just their consultant. For commiting crimes. A Consulting Criminal if you will. They were shit at planning so all I did was come up with the plans. They get great results and a good rep. I get paid. Mutually beneficial arrangement. Just because they named themselves after me, doesn’t mean I lead them.”

“Riiight.” Robin didn’t sound convinced. “Anyway, you gotta have heard something.”

Rebel sighed.

“Red Hood. Red Hood.” 

She tried to remember what Lay, her main contact with the gang and the actual leader of the Rebellion, said at their last regular meet-up at Bat-burger.

“Oh, the decapitated-heads guy.”

Batman’s face became frownier. Rebel took that as a sign to continue.

“Yeah, the guy showed up at the latest meet of every top group in Gotham. The big players, you know. Which was only held in the first place to discuss what they were going to do about him.”

Rebel chuckled at the slight irony of it. She had turned back from Batman to continue on her mural.

“Ten minutes in. He showed up with a duffel bag filled with the heads of every lieutenant. Said that he accomplished the act within two hours. Doesn’t seem to be a lie. Lay said that she last saw Erwin’s head on his neck 2 hours before the meeting.”

The sounds of spraying paint stops. She grabbed a new can and shook it.

“He threatened them to give him a cut of our profits each month and laid down a few strict rules. Lay said it was all already what we are doing. Don’t involve kids. Don’t sell drugs to kids. Main point, don’t get kids involved in the drug trafficking shit. And human trafficking.”

“Anything else?”

“She thinks the Red Hood dude is trying to be some enforcer type guardian angel of Crime Alley. Described him as a big guy. Built like a fucking tank and wears leather. No face because he has a red helmet even though he called himself Red Hood. The name sounds like that old gang Harley told me, used to run around with Joker.”

“Joker did once have a crew that called themselves the Red Hood.” Batman mused. “He also called himself that too.”

“Thank you for your help. Let’s go, Robin.”

“Bye, Rebel. I will come see your painting when you are done.”

Rebel absentmindedly sent them a wave. Too focused on her mural.

-

A moment later, a dark shadow blocked her light again.

Rebel sighed. “What more do you want from me?” She turned to give a glare to Batman. 

Only to see that it wasn’t Batman.

Rebel squinted.

“You are the new big bad in town that everyone is gossiping about, right? Decapitating heads and taking over the drug market scene.”

“So you heard of me.” Red Hood stepped closer towards her. She remained unfazed.

“I try to keep up with the latest gossip in the city.” Rebel shrugged. She tilted her head, “Any reasons why you came to see me? I hope it’s not to kill me.”

She said as if being killed was just a mild inconvenience. But that’s just how most Gothamite lived their lives

“Rebel. Relatively new to the Rogues Gallery. Mainly works with Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. And… Daughter of the Joker. Following in your father’s footsteps, are you?”

Rebel’s face became dark.

“I do not like associating myself with him. I am more of… the occasional chaos maker than whatever insane and mad thing he usually does.”

“Is that Daddy issue I hear?”

“Are you sure you aren’t just projecting?” She was definitely smirking under that mask.

“Fuck no.”

Rebel laughed as she stepped closer to Red Hood, unafraid. His stature meant that he completely dwarfed her petite figure but he still subconsciously took a step back.

Whether or not Rebel didn’t like to be related to him. They sounded the same, especially when they laughed.

“Because I am pretty sure you are the one with Daddy Issues. After all, it comes with the territory of being a Robin. Having the Big Bat for a father.” 

How did she-

Red Hood whipped out his pistol. The nozzle was a few inches away from blowing Rebel’s head off.

“How do you know?” He growled out.

“Like, it’s hard?” Rebel moved the gun away from her head. “Besides, the writer won’t be happy if I spoil a story which everyone already knows.”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

Rebel hummed instead of answering like the little shit the rumours claimed to be and said, “How many Jokers can be found in a pack of cards?”

“For someone who claims not to be like her sperm donor, you sure do have that same vague philosophy thing going on.”

Rebel frowned. Jason thought he finally hit a nerve on the teenager.

“Two Jokers.” She calmly continued instead of getting angry like he thought she would. “In countries like Germany, you can find three in a deck. In video games, you often get three lives. Unless you have a cheat code. Or get very lucky. Or you don’t die, ever because you are in creative mode.”

“What are you trying to say?” Red Hood demanded, done with Rebel’s riddle-talk.

“What I am trying to say is, Buckethead. You do have to wonder, despite all the wrong he has caused, why no one has managed to off him yet.”

“My name is Red Hood.”

Rebel walked to the edge of the roof, stepping up onto the parapet wall.

“Whatever you say. Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Buckethead.” Rebel said, turning to face Red Hood. A few inches was the only thing that kept her from falling to death.

Red Hood tensed, realising what Rebel was going to do as she leaned backwards.

“NO!”

Rebel took a step back.

The former Robin leaped and tried to catch her. He failed, missing her fingers by a few centimetres. 

After what felt like an eternity, he stared unseeing at the corpse decorating the sidewalk below and twisted at an awkward angle. The sickening splat when her body hit rang in his ears. The streetlight nearby illuminated it like it was some grotesque artwork.

What the fuck just happened?

Jason’s thoughts were jumbled as he tried to make sense of it.

The girl just stepped off a roof. She didn’t even use a grappling hook, no secret trampoline on the ground or even a rope. Just stepped off and Bam! 

She was lying dead on the ground.

Was she insane? Given her father, it would make sense but why jump off a roof without a back-up plan?

Red Hood sat there for a while in shock and tried to collect himself. A girl, he was talking to, killed herself for no reason. That was fine. It wasn’t important. He shouldn’t care. She was the clown’s daughter. All the more reason he shouldn’t care that she just died in front of him.

But he did care. Despite the fact that he had only talked to her for a few minutes.  He had killed people without mercy but the fact that he couldn’t save the daughter of his murderer made him feel… like a failure.

The clank of metal broke him out of his reverie. He looked up to see a very much breathing, walking and very much alive Rebel who had a deer-in-headlights look as she was caught slowly putting her paint cans back into her duffel bag.

“What?” He gasped out, his voice coming a tad hysterical. He slowly looked over the edge of the roof. The bloodstain was still there but the body was gone. Like Rebel’s corpse had gotten up on its own, walked away, gotten up to the roof via the fire escape and currently, standing in front of him.

Jason closed his eyes and opened them again. Nope, the bloodstain from her fall was still there on her jacket.

“How- how did you- ” Jason swallowed before asking the obvious.

“How am I alive?” Rebel shrugged. “I just am. I am alive so I am.”

“And you are fine.”

He looked at her leg which he had last seen being bent at an unnatural angle moments earlier.

“No one could survive that fall.” He said.

“Eh. I did.”

“That’s cause…” Jason got struck by a horrible realisation, “The Joker is an immortal motherfucker, isn’t he?”

“In a way. Yes.”

“What do you mean ‘in a way’?”

Rebel opened her mouth.

Then thunder boomed and lightning struck the nearest lamppost. Making it dark for a moment before the lights came back on. No rain fell from the sky.

“Alright! I will keep my mouth shut. Happy?” Rebel screamed at the sky. Then, she gave Red Hood an apologetic look.

“Sorry, looks like I am not allowed to tell you.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“Someone would be angry if I revealed too much of its secrets.”

“Who? The universe?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t tell if you are genuinely insane or your life is actually that crazy.”

“I would like to think that it is both. But you got the message, right?”

“The Joker can’t die by any means. He will just come back to life.”

“Eh. Close enough.”

Jason was quiet for a moment.

“Does that mean he can still feel pain?”

“When I fell off the roof, I felt my bones break so I am going to say yes.” Rebel replied as she finished packing up her things.

“How the fuck is he even an immortal anyways?”

Rebel looked around, looking for a sign that she won’t be hit by divine punishment if she told Red Hood the answer. When there was no thunder.

She answered, “This sounds the most hippie shit ever but the closest analogy I can think of. Imagine that the Universe is a writer and our lives are the stories it writes. It loves a good story. The story of Batman and Joker is one of them. Because it is such a good story. It never wants it to end and it has the choice to not write an ending. So the Joker is written to be the most evil, the silliest, the most dangerous, the luckiest, the smartest and the most insane man to ever walk the planet so he can be Batman’s enemy in a war forever locked in a stalemate. Until the Universe gets tired of the story.”

“And then, what?”

“I wouldn’t know. I have never heard of a story that ended.”

Jason stared at his hand and closed it into a fist. “Is that why I am alive? Why you are still alive?”

Rebel shrugged as she picked up her duffel bag. “Probably. Then again,” She walked to the edge of the roof, stepping onto the parapet wall.

Jason got hit with intense deja vu.

“I might have made the entire thing up just to mess with you.” Rebel said as she stepped back for the second time that day.

Instinct made him try to grab her again. This time, however, he watched her hands glow and a portal appeared under her. She disappeared through it and the portal closed.

Red Hood stood there on the rooftop, blankly staring at Rebel’s half-finished mural when he heard a familiar thud behind him. That’s when he finally realised her plan.

He laughed and then turned to face Batman. Right on cue, thunder boomed and rain fell.

----

(Part 4)

-----

Taglist:  @toodaloo-kangaroo, @iloontjeboontje, @buginetye, @angelwreckedd, @anoires-blog, @ever-since-i-was-young, @shutupandactuallylisten, @its-maemain, @vel-vee, @kashlyn, @officiallydarkgeek, @jayjayspixiepop, @cmouse, @transheso, @thecrazyfantrolls, @just-a-random-girl-loves-anime, @maddiesupdates, @the-dumber-scaramouche

[pricechecktranslations]

I was wondering if you knew any more misconceptions or fan theories that were going around in the Evillious fandom? I’m looking to make a video on it so I wanted to see what kind of stuff the fandom came up during it’s peak. Also, thank you for your hard work. You’re one of my inspirations of getting into translating

Oh, anon, there are TONS of misconceptions that have gone around the Evillious fandom. It might not be as big an issue as it used to be, but misinformation has always plagued it.

Here's a few more noteworthy bits from what I and a friend of mine can remember (and dig up) under the cut, though bear in mind many of these are from before my time. You should be able to verify these for your video by looking at very early versions of character/location/etc pages on the Story of Evil and Evillious wikis (the Story of Evil wiki was one made for the Daughter of Evil series specifically, and was abandoned very early on) as well as old forum posts and user articles. Focus on things dated to 2013 or earlier, as most of (not all) the worst misconceptions were cleared up after that point:

People thought Clarith was a Venomania descendant. I assume you already saw the discussion on this, but in short, it was people jumping to conclusions based on some poorly worded translations.

It was believed for a while that the girl in Blood-stained Switch was named IR, and that she was split into two halves--one half becoming Elluka, and the other half becoming Irina. From what I could gather, this misconception was almost entirely based on some off-the-wall theorizing by a person on NicoNico Douga, which was mistaken for being mothy's own commentary based on a misunderstanding of how NicoNico Douga comments work (the splitting in half bit, at least; people thought her name was IR because a different commenter mistook her for IR, and I guess at the time the wiki didn't know that was Irina's name in the Lust novel).

It was believed, back when "Levianta Catastrophe" was called "Levianta Fire Disaster", that Full Moon Laboratory was about Elluka. Specifically, it was believed that she had killed Irina (this bit at least I don't blame them for because I think Irina killing Elluka was supposed to be a minor twist), and then became ruler of Levianta as Ma. As ruler, she created the Department of National Research, and performed a bunch of illegal experiments. She cast the Clockwork Secret Art as a "cleansing" spell, which backfired and blew up the country.

People thought Levianta was a Japanese inspired country, and that it was where Tailor of Enbizaka took place.

People thought Irina was using a variant of the body swap to control bodies (specifically that it was an "incomplete" version of the spell). This was based on a mistranslation.

Before fans really understood the presence of actual, literal demons in the series, it was believed that the voice talking to Kyle through his hand mirror in Praeludium was Prim, feeding his ego or brainwashing him or something.

Due to some slightly more understandable confusion, people thought The Last Revolver was about Gumillia, and (less understandably) that Julia had tasked her with retrieving the Venom Sword from her assassination target (who they thought, for no reason I can discern, worked for the Freezis Foundation).

Note that there are some misconceptions that are, genuinely, a result of mothy retconning (a lot of albums, for example, give false information, though they're often told from the perspective of characters who are lying or misinformed) or pulling twists that people didn't see coming. However, I'm pretty sure the examples I gave above are your garden variety "someone mistranslated and someone else leapt to weird assumptions".

[blammphis]

The Ascendant in Gemini is highly sensitive to movement, transitions, and information. It is difficult for them to focus on something static, delve deeply into a subject, or pause to process and understand what they have heard. Geminis struggle to form their own opinions. They are at the mercy of the informational flow that passes through them; in other words, they think exactly what they say and believe everything they hear — especially what they read.

Then they might read something entirely contradictory and believe that too. However, this doesn't bother them much. They are comfortable with the contradictions in their nature — they don't dwell on them. There's no time. What they said yesterday doesn't concern them; only what they're saying today matters.

The Ascendant in Gemini live as prisoners within a framework of mental forms, their own and those created by various groups and layers, where they constantly revolve and play an important, connecting role. Due to the specificity of their role, Geminis intuitively determine whether a thought or message is suitable for a particular social circle. However, they struggle to discern its truthfulness, meaning its alignment with reality.

It is difficult for them to focus on anything static, delve deeply into a subject, or slow down. Their self-esteem is closely tied to their intellect and the brilliance of their mental expression, less so to their capacity for mental perception, as they often believe they quickly understand everything. They feel bored when there's no one to talk to, no new acquaintances, or no transformations happening — whether in life or in the intellectual sphere.

The Ascendant in Gemini may come across as cold because they convey feelings through tired constructs. At best, these constructs reflect intellect; at worst, they resemble social clichés, lacking genuine empathy or emotional experience. They rationally model both the outer and, more importantly, their inner world, which often results in misunderstandings or distortions.

However, their personality — especially with a strong 1st house — wields significant influence over both external and internal realms, as their thoughts direct energy. Development for them involves deepening their thinking (to avoid superficiality) and engaging in essential, non-mental understanding of religious and philosophical ideas that inspire further growth. They need to learn to recognize the limits of intellectual analysis and avoid extending it into realms of ideas, impulses, and raw emotional sensations.

The Ascendant in Gemini inhabit a neatly compressed, small world where everything fits perfectly. Every detail is highlighted, and they mentally know it belongs exactly where it is. Yet, deep inside, they slowly lose interest in this world and begin to search for an escape. That escape may lie in the present if they can release their need to please everyone, let go of the demand for perfect meaning, and uncover the greater part of their being, which lies dormant, hoping to see a brighter future.

The Ascendant in Gemini is more adaptable than any other sign. They can talk to anyone about anything and always find a way to convey the necessary information. However, this is also their Achilles' heel — they often get caught up in trivialities. Sometimes, a major problem cannot be resolved by breaking it down into a dozen smaller issues. Likewise, a big opportunity can be forgotten at a bus stop while chasing after a handful of minor pleasures.

If Ascendant in Gemini argue with someone (and they love to), they can easily drive to despair. First, their erudition and sharp wit can be overwhelming. Second, they don't actually listen to you; they respond to form rather than the substance of what you say. Third — and most frustratingly — they rarely express their own opinion (as they may not have one) but rather reflect the stance of a particular social circle or an opinion picked up from somewhere else entirely. In those rare cases when you manage to out talk a Gemini, they don't get upset.

After all, for them, the argument wasn't with you but with the vast trove of information they've collected bit by bit. In debates and conversations, when the need arises to confirm or refute a thought, Geminis may finally glimpse the truth hidden between the ideas of others.

[butterflyseraph]

Oh my god, Pretty Boy Reo!!! I actually wanna cosplay him someday hehe

"The good thing is that between you two is that there are never any misunderstandings, at least not for Iong; you express yourselves when something's wrong, which immediately defuses potential problems."

It's interesting because depending on the person, I can be extremely open about my more vulnerable feelings or just mask them completely. I feel like Reo would be someone who I'm able to open up to a little easier. He's just so charismatic to me, but in a soothing way.

"Reo would never make you feel like you're too much; on the contrary, he'd be the first to spot you in the crowd, grab your arm, and include you in the group. I don't think there's ever any ambiguity between you two; it's smooth, and no one could question your friendship."

Hilariously, one of thing I noticed as I was reading through the matchup was how I actually relate to Nagi in a lot of aspects. My love for gaming aside, I can be very "lazy" due to my executive dysfunction. I remember in the movie, Nagi told Reo that Reo never made him feel like he was a hassle. Other than my big shipper ass going crazy over that line, it just really struck a chord with me as someone who suffers from executive dysfunction and experiences a lot of guilt as a result.

...should I get a cactus and name it Choki-

"If he starts playing, it's not only to be with you but to understand the mechanics of those games. Maybe it'll inspire him on the field, like giving him a sharper understanding of his opponents' mindset. Immersive games often lead to introspection and analysis- making choices, challenging one's ethics, etc."

Oh my god Reo would love tactical RPGs. REO I'M DRAGGING YOU INTO MY FIRE EMBLEM BRAINROT.

"You see, I think Reo is one of the characters in the whole manga with whom you quickly feel comfortable; he has a very close, very human vibe. Very relatable. So, I have no doubt you'd feel at ease with him quickly, to the point where you'd let him approach you even from behind for a surprise hug."

A surprise hug from Reo sounds so sweet. I still remember that iconic scene of him hugging Nagi as he played Nagi's game, and one of my many thoughts was "I want to recreate that with a future romantic partner" lmaoooo

"And it would make him so happy to receive your affection too. I can't imagine him not sharing affectionate gestures with his significant other, no way."

The most guaranteed way to get me to come out of my shell when it comes to physical affection is to initiate it and then sit and wait. Eventually, I'll probably be giving just as many surprise back hugs as he does, haha!

"Actually. he kind of reminds me of a knight sometimes, you know? The one who opens and holds the door for you, the one who tells everyone on the escalator to move to the right so you can go faster. The one who always orders your dish without the sides you don't like. Those kinds of small, discreet attentions that are incredibly satisfying to experience daily."

I am genuinely gushing over the thought of Reo as a knight lmaoooo. The more I think about it, the more I feel like acts of service impact me more than I'd like to admit. I mean, I become a bumbling mess if a friend does anything for me: imagine a romantic partner 😅

"I see him as someone materialistic, so all the gifts you give him, he keeps them carefully at home and doesn't throw anything away, even if they seem completely ordinary or insignificant. As long as it's from you, he'll keep it until his death (which makes me think his inheritance might be complicated)"

Lmao, my mind shifted from knight Reo to dragon-guarding-his-hoard Reo. The fact that both are very fitting images of him makes this even funnier to me.

"Two little sunshines <3"

🌞🌞🌞 Yeah!!! 🌞🌞🌞

Bonus:

"I first thought of Niko (the "attracted to the realistic, grounded types" you know) but I figured he would be too quiet and solitary for your need to be with others. Lack of communication, as always."

Ooh, Niko! Yeah, I get what you mean. I feel like we'd make pretty decent friends tho!

Anywayyyy, thank you again for doing this with me! Sorry my response took so long, but thank you so much for your patience!!!

BLUE LOCK MATCHUP EXCHANGE — @butterflyseraph

Your match is...

— Mikage Reo

✦ It wasn't easy; I thought of several characters, but each time I was like, "hmm no."

✦ I figured it had to be someone who wouldn’t make you feel like you were too much.

✦ … So, not someone introverted.

✦ Or someone who doesn’t communicate enough.

✦ We all know where relationships go when one person doesn't communicate enough…

✦ *cough cough*

✦ I think you and Reo make a very balanced duo. He’s naturally sociable, loves approaching people and showing interest in them (not necessarily for personal gain; that’s just how he is).

✦ That made me think of how you tend to appear very open with others at first.

✦ It’s something that can unsettle shy people, but with him, it would only be appealing.

✦ Anyway, if it hadn’t been you, he would have come to you sooner or later.

✦ I can totally see you two as the duo that always has a bunch of friends orbiting around them. You’re the headliners, the queen bee duo of the university.

✦ The good thing is that between you two, there are never any misunderstandings, at least not for long; you express yourselves when something’s wrong, which immediately defuses potential problems.

✦ The trope of best buddies, obviously.

✦ Reo would never make you feel like you’re too much; on the contrary, he’d be the first to spot you in the crowd, grab your arm, and include you in the group. I don’t think there’s ever any ambiguity between you two; it’s smooth, and no one could question your friendship.

✦ He loves your contrasting personality—the fact that you appear quite cute on the outside but enjoy less conventional and niche things. I think he’s interested in those things too because he wants to understand them—and, by extension, understand you.

✦ Whatever you like or do, it piques his interest, and in a sincere way. No hidden motives. To me, Reo is truly someone loyal and reliable in friendship. He doesn’t try to play games—except during a match, but that’s part of the sport.

✦ I like to imagine you playing a soccer video game while he’s actually playing soccer.

✦ That’s probably not the kind of game you play, though; I see you more with games like The Wolf Among Us, Genshin Impact, The Binding of Isaac, or Outer Wilds. But you know, I think those games could interest him in a way too. They’re successful games, and he’d be curious about why. After all, Reo is still a business-minded person.

✦ And if he starts playing, it’s not only to be with you but to understand the mechanics of those games. Maybe it’ll inspire him on the field, like giving him a sharper understanding of his opponents’ mindset. Immersive games often lead to introspection and analysis—making choices, challenging one’s ethics, etc.

✦ In short, things we regularly see at Blue Lock, let’s be honest.

✦ "Physical Affection (giving and receiving, although I do need to be properly acclimated to a person: it's basically my ultimate form of affection)" You see, I think Reo is one of the characters in the whole manga with whom you quickly feel comfortable; he has a very close, very human vibe. Very relatable. So, I have no doubt you’d feel at ease with him quickly, to the point where you’d let him approach you even from behind for a surprise hug.

✦ And it would make him so happy to receive your affection too. I can’t imagine him not sharing affectionate gestures with his significant other, no way.

✦ Actually, he kind of reminds me of a knight sometimes, you know? The one who opens and holds the door for you, the one who tells everyone on the escalator to move to the right so you can go faster. The one who always orders your dish without the sides you don’t like. Those kinds of small, discreet attentions that are incredibly satisfying to experience daily.

✦ I see him as someone materialistic, so all the gifts you give him, he keeps them carefully at home and doesn’t throw anything away, even if they seem completely ordinary or insignificant. As long as it’s from you, he’ll keep it until his death.

✦ (Which makes me think his inheritance might be complicated)

✦ Two little sunshines <3

A word about your match: I first thought of Niko (the "attracted to the realistic, grounded types" you know) but I figured he would be too quiet and solitary for your need to be with others. Lack of communication, as always.

© TIGREBLVNC 2024 | INTERESTED IN A MATCHUP EXCHANGE? CHECK THIS.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Laito Ecstasy [09]

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

Monologue

ーー What an absolute mess this is, I thought. 

What she told me, 

is most likely the truth. 

The kind of relationship she has with Kino,

should be rather clear at first glance. Yet...

ー The scene starts in the entrance hall of Eden

Laito: ( Every time I try to have faith in her, there’s this little voice in the back of my head which speaks to me... )

( ‘She’s lying. She’s obviously trying to deceive youーー’ It says. )

( And at the same time, images of that woman linger in the back of my mind. )

( Just how long will I continue to be haunted by this?  When will I finallyーー )

Hey, I wonder what I need to do to lead an honest life...? 

ー The scene shifts to the guest room

Yui: Haah...My body feels sore...

( I want to just forget about it all-together...But I guess it’s not that easy. )

( Laito-kun doing such a thing proves that he definitely has the wrong idea about Kino-kun and I... )

( Even though he claimed there was no misunderstanding to speak of...There definitely is. )

ー Laito enters the room

Laito: Bitch-chan. 

Yui: Laito-kun...

( Oh no, this is kind of awkward. )

( But there’s so much we need to talk about. )

( Where do I even start...? )

Selection

→ About yesterday (❦)

Yui: About yesterday...You see. 

Laito: ...Yes? Should I apologize to you? 

Yui: That’s not what I meant.

Laito: Then what do you want me to say? That I have fucked up kinks? 

Yui: I’ve been long aware of that. I mean, if you had actually genuinely enjoyed the situation...That would have been great. 

But just like Kino-kun said, it seemed like you...were seriously suspicious of our relationship...So... 

Laito: ...

Yui: Will you believe me, if I tell you that it’s all one big misunderstanding? 

Laito: Wellーー

→ Why did you lie? 

Yui: Why did you lie? 

Laito: Lie? 

Yui: I told you plenty of times that it was all just a misunderstanding and you even agreed to it. 

Laito: Right.

Yui: But seeing what you did yesterday...You didn’t actually mean those words, did you...? 

And here I thought you actually understood...

( ...I’m kind of making it sound like he’s the only one to blame. )

( While it’s pretty obvious I also did things which could be taken the wrong way. )

Laito: It’s all because I’m twisted. 

Yui: No. It’s not only your fault. I’m pretty sure I also did things which can be easily misunderstood... 

Laito: You didn’t. No matter what you did, I should have looked at it from a neutral point of view...

But that is impossible for meーー 

The more I try to have faith in you and be open about how I truly feel, the more messed up I become. 

Yui: ...Laito-kun...

Laito: I’m sorry...Truly. 

Yui: It’s fine...

( ...Laito-kun is suffering as well. Exactly. No matter how far he might have come already... )

( It still remains difficult to keep on taking those steps forward... )

I promise that I’ll stay by your side, no matter what happens.

Laito: Even though you might end up hurt or be put through hell as a result...?

Yui: ...I have faith in you...So.

( I will wait...Until that day he is ready to look at me straight in the eye. )

Laito: ...

Yui: ...? Laito-kun? Where are you going? 

Laito: ...Sorry. Could you give me some time to think? 

ー Laito leaves

Yui: Laito-kunーー 

( My heart aches for some reason... )

ー The scene shifts to the World Tree

Laito: ( At this rate, I’ll only make Bitch-chan suffer, huh? )

( I can’t even properly be there for her after all... )

( Up until very recently, I doubt I would have ever even reasoned like this. )

( I wonder if this is a step into the right direction? Still, now that the root of all problems has become clear... )

( I can feel the despair pushing down on me as I realize that ‘I’ am simply not good enough. )

( I should just forget about it all, leave everything behind and start anew from fresh. )

( But still, various traumas from my past keep on showing themselves, preventing me from just genuinely moving forward. )

( Like I’m made fun of for trying to hard, when it’s all in vain anyway. )

I wonder why I’m not even capable of just genuinely loving herーー 

( It’s not like I want us to become separatedーー But I can’t help but wonder if perhaps she will be more happy without me. )

( If it weren’t for these powers, I would have never had to rack my head over this... )

( Right now, I can’t help but feel like that guy purposefully passed these powers down onto me, so I would be confronted with these thoughts. )

...

ー The scene shifts back to the guest room

*Flap flap flap* 

Reiji: Seems like the Adler troops have decided to proceed with their attack at last.

I suppose they found out that the ones who moved into the Castle are nothing but a bunch of Ghouls and one Vampire who pose little threat.

*Flap flap flap* 

Reiji: Ah, my bad. There is actually one more thing I’d like you to investigate.

Regarding the Vibora Clan. I simply cannot think of a good reason for them to attack the Ghouls...Therefore, I’d like you to look into the matter. 

*Flap flap flap* 

Reiji: Yes, I am counting on you. 

ーー Soon the war will commence after all.

Monologue

ーー Afterwards, I began to deeply regret (悔やんだ) my own actions,

knowing that I am the one who pushed Laito-kun to the wall. 

I thought I had made a clear resolve for myself, but no,

the second I let my guard down for even a split second, I let obvious emotions get the best of me,

making Laito-kun suffer as a result. 

It’s not like Laito-kun wants to be that way either. 

It’s his own twisted mind making him do those things. 

I knew that, yetーー 

Still, I refuse to give up. I simply need to grow strong enough,

so I’m capable of carrying (抱えてあげられる) all of his strain. 

So his fragile, delicate mind,

doesn’t break into a million piecesーー

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー