#i always wonder if my answers to these posts are helpful… bc i like—never got any formal training in writing lmao so like. idk how else—

[ofmermaidstories]

HI same anon from earlier. but. how did you develop your writing style? i love how personalized your voice is and it’s genuinely so enjoyable to read! sm appreciation for you and your art <3

you know how like, people have accents? not regional ones—but like, you might meet someone at uni or work, and almost immediately you can clock that they a) watch a lot of anime and b) maybe read a lot of 80s/90s fantasy/scifi? it’s like that! it’s when someone’s voice is very clearly informed by what they’re consuming or are active in. like how being chronically online means you can pick a twitter user (they’re always inserting disclaimers or over-explaining themselves to prevent misunderstanding or explicitly clarifying a position). it’s the same principle!! i write like i talk, and i talk like i do because i consume a lot of stuff lmao.

one of my favourite tiktoks is like, this girl pouncing on an older woman—she’s big in the fashion industry but her name is escaping me rn—to ask her where she gets her style from, and the woman is just like, “be interested in other things!!!”. and we say that all time in writing circles, right? like, read more, watch more movies, etc etc but it’s so true, because it’s only by exposing yourself to whatever you can that you can then start like, parring down the things you like, and then work through what you like about them.

i like poetry. and i like music. we all like music!! but music has cadence the same way us speaking to each other does. some of my favourite books are in first-person and because we’re in first-person, we’re in the character’s head 24/7, which means we’re privvy to the music of their thoughts. because it is music! i don’t think in complete sentences, do you? i think in—fragments, like a burst of song. or in details. i like details!!! they’re often the first thing i notice in situations, so i include them when i write, and i’ll read authors that include them, too. but then it’s a bit of a trap, because you have to have a light hand with it—you can’t just over-describe everything, it’s going to bore everyone—so we come back to poetry. it’s a good way of reading about that momentary focus on an otherwise mindless detail, and realising how much grounding it can bring to a piece (or a sentence). but then we come back to music and our thoughts. details don’t just stand alone! they exist as a part of other things! you don’t just have the smudged silver of an ice bucket from an empty ice machine in a motel, you have an ice bucket because you’re… standing in the burning hot heat of a motel in the middle of the desert. and maybe the bucket is smudged because the manager running this place literally doesn’t care, and the cleaner is busy scrubbing vomit out of the carpet in the room next to yours, and it’s a worn-down, hard-luck place where people don’t come by choice because it’s like, built on the old highway that existed before they put it one of those mega-freeways that have now bypassed the town and everyone here is poor. i’m not american, i don’t know anything about freeways, but i like history!!! i like things, i like fashion. i wanted to be an animator when i was a kid, and the lingering result of me frantically taking in whatever i could, back in the day, is that i still have a interest in like, idk, cold-war era animation lmao. and this all sounds stupid just rattling off, but what i’m trying to say is that when you take in and discover things you love, it informs your voice and ultimately your style. like i could give you a laundry list of my favourite, personhood-defining books right now (flowers in the attic [read when i was twelve, has always stuck with me in the imagery], chuck palahniuk in general [one of my first intros to second-person pov], shirley jackson in general again, romance novels written in the 90s lmao, the virgin suicides, like—there’s a lot) but it’s not a recipe, because my other interests feed into how i write. 🥹 i like perfume (literally fighting with someone about it rn on twitter lmao), so i’m on fragrantica, a site for reviewing them. which means i am routinely exposed to like, people describing scents!!! and the thing with perfume is that like, if you don’t know what an iris smells like, then you’re kinda up shit creek, right? like, sometimes we’re just not exposed to things! so it’s really common for perfume reviews to try and invoke feeling—and some of it is like, yeah, marketing lmao, like, trying to get you to feel sentimental or hopeful enough to buy a bottle, but if i say “this smells like iris” vs. “this smells creamy and powdery soft, like uncapping an expensive lipstick” you’re gonna get a better idea of things!!! like you still might not know what an iris smells like—but you know what creamy is, what powdery might be. what overpriced luxury type items might entail.

the worst part about this is that none of it came together overnight. like i wish i could just prescribe things, books, like, yes, read this and then you’ll be able to write the exact same way. but it doesn’t work like that! this is quite literally a lifelong effort. so if you wanna develop your own style then like—you have to tend to everything else first. 🥹 you have to love and be excited about other things, because it will tighten your sentences (or blow them up!) and give you music—or an accent lmao—to think in. 🥹

[astrasng]

SCRATCH || BANGCHAN

MINORS DNI!

pairing: idol!chan x female!reader

summary: thanks to chan's solo stage you finally made him yours.

warnings: blood (from scratches obv), handjob, spanking, petnames (baby, honey, angel, sweetheart) unprotected sex, cursing

author's note: from my previous breakdown post bc of chan got me in an inspired mood so i made a little somethin somethin. still what the fuck was he thinking. also, if you're a regular reader by any chance (ily) you might have noticed i write jealousy tropes, IDKK WHY THO SORRY

important!: this is pure fiction, the act in this story is by my imagination and not based off true events. please do not copy the work.

enjoy!

It isn’t like you’re not supportive of your boyfriend. You’ve always been there for every idea, even if you thought that it wasn’t the best one. The things you have to deal with him being an idol settled deep into your mind, already accepting the consequences that may come in the way. But it’s not like you would ever give up your relationship with Chan just because he’s doing risky things that you may not like. 

To be honest, it kind of became an advantage for you. 

You would watch him having fun on stage with the other members, sometimes splashing water at each other, making everyone in the crowd either cheer or laugh at their silly behavior. There were times when they got sentimental, wishing all the happiness for STAY and the members for the future. It made you emotional just in the same way as you would watch them through the TV in your shared apartment. 

And then there were times where you couldn’t help but squeeze your thighs together and wait for him.

“Had fun today?” 

The sarcastic tone caught Chan’s attention as he’s doing his everyday night routine, just as he’s finishing up his shaving session. He knows exactly why you’re talking and reacting to him this way, you’ve been all fidgety with him since he got home from the first day of the tour, and when he stepped inside the apartment he saw you still sitting on the couch, not welcoming him in with the usual hug he gets. 

Chan looks a little bit to the side so he can get a reflection of you changing in the room, the towel you used laying on the ground after taking a shower. Without him. 

“Of course.It’s always heartwarming to meet with STAY’s. And the kids were so hyped about getting solo stages too.”

Now that just boils your blood. 

“Oh, were they?” You keep your back facing him,not letting him see how frustrated you really are about the game he’s playing. “They were doing an amazing job indeed.” You shut your eyes momentarily before putting on your velvet nightgown, and slowly walking towards the bathroom where your boyfriend is staying. 

“Yeah, I assume you saw mine too, right? Did you see the special makeup they did on me?” With pride he chuckles while putting away his shaving equipment, patting his dry as he picks up his toothbrush. His question should have a very easy and simple answer, yet here you are ready to give him a brainwash about not caring about your mental health. Cause what the hell was that? You can’t even form the offensive words you want to say to him out of frustration, you could never say anything negative about his performances in general — but the way he’s talking about it, so full of himself, you can’t help yourself. “I wonder who made all that.” It slips out, biting down on your lip softly to stop yourself from further embarrassment. 

“It must’ve been the makeup artist of course, but I could’ve done a better job if you ask me.” You step into the bathroom just as you finish your sentence, Chan unable to answer due to his mouth full with mint scented bubbles. 

As you want to pass behind him, you swipe your delicate fingers on his defined back muscles, the photos of him painted in scratches for the performance fills your vision. 

“Makeup was unnecessary,to be honest.” 

There’s something glinting in Chan’s eyes as a lopsided smile appears on his face, looking at you through the mirror placed above the bathroom counter. As the words leave your lips, he licks his plump lips slowly, putting away his toothbrush he just used. “If I had asked you, would you do it?” 

The air stops suddenly in your throat,taking your eyes off of him as you busy yourself with something else infront of you. “Well…it doesn’t matter now.” 

“Oh it does, honey.” Chan says lowly, his voice suddenly closer as you want it to, and you know perfectly he’s only a step away from you. “If I only knew my baby just wanted to help me out in my solo,” He snakes his arms around your waist slowly, his bare chest pressing into your clothed back as he’s standing behind you, whispering in your ear. “I could’ve used some help.” With that, he pressed a slow open mouth kiss on the side of your neck. his hands caressing the skin on your stomach. 

“Should we recreate it and show it to my makeup artist?”

Chan whispers against your ear, biting down slightly on your earlobe as he makes eye contact with you through the mirror. You look already disheveled just from his touch, your nightgown scrunched slightly up as he kneads your stomach, one of his hands slowly inching up to your breasts. “Would you like that, baby?” 

“I didn’t mean it like that, Chan – mhphm…” A small moan leaves your lips as he pinches your nipple in his slender fingers, continuing to make out with your neck as you try and compose yourself. 

“How did you mean it then?” He grunts out as you push your backside on his crotch, his cock twitching already in his sleeping pants at the thought of you being jealous. “Tell me.” 

“I–I just…” You try to form words, keeping yourself together and not yet falling for his words but then Chan sneakily slides his other down towards your waiting heat, his finger immediately meeting with slickness between your pussy lips. He groans again, grinding into your ass to ease the pain from being so hard. “Baby, if you want to scratch my back that badly just say it.” There’s something hiding behind his words which makes you shut your eyes from the pleasure he’s causing, your hands flying on the counter for support. “I kind of…wanted to..” Your breath hitches, cutting off your sentence when Chan flips your nightgown upwards to expose your wet pussy, your naked ass on display in front of him as he takes his hand away from your breast and caresses one of your cheeks. “You wanted what? Do you need some help darling?” He grunts under his breath when he feels you clench around his fingers, plugging it in and out to take your breath away. You moan out when you feel his fingers curl inside you, hitting that perfect spot that makes your back arch. 

But Chan doesn’t give in that easily. 

You suddenly feel a stinging pain on one of your cheeks, moaning out shamelessly from the sensation he just caused with his hand. When you pick your head up you see Chan already looking at you through the mirror, lust filled eyes raking over your already fucked out face. “Say it baby.” 

You can feel his hand smoothing over the place he just spanked, the air in the bathroom so humid you can feel yourself getting sweaty again. His finger never stopped working inside you, with that spank almost knocking you over the edge. 

When Chan doesn’t see you changing your mind and finally answer him, he only clicks his tongue and tilts his head to the side. Without a second thought, he slaps your ass again, his finger circling around your clit rapidly when he hears your pornographic moans echoing in the bathroom.

“I–I wanted to mark you!” 

And there it is. 

As you practically moan out the words, Chan’s finger is coated thickly with your cum as his words made you tip over the edge. Your whole body shaking in his arms as you come down your high slowly, trying to gather your thoughts and realizing what you just said.

When the words finally leave your mouth he can’t help but smirk, the possessive side of you finally showing for the first time in your relationship. “And why is that honey?” Chan teases you, seeing your ears red from the sudden confession you just made. 

“Just so everyone knows that you’re mine..” You mumble quietly, shame overcoming you as it paints your cheeks deep red. 

Something snaps inside Chan. He can’t help but groan out, his cock painfully hard against his pants as he turns you around and places his hands on your throat, slightly adding pressure on it. Before you know it, you’re pressed up against the wall, his lips already chasing yours. 

“Do it baby.” He kisses you, his tongue sneaks through his lips to taste your lip balm you applied earlier he loves so much. “I want you to do your worst on me,” He whispers between kisses, his hand suddenly picking you up to put your legs around his waist. Your whole body welcomes him, your mouth opens as he slides his tongue inside once again, and your fingers landing into his freshly washed hair as he devours your lips. His hand scrunches up your gown once again before he presses his hardness into your slick core. 

At the contact you moan out loudly, already wanting him inside you, to ease your pain that he caused. 

“Feel that baby? It’s all yours. Nobody else has that but you.” 

With a whine you throw your head on the wall, Chan’s lips continuing to leaves red splotches on your sensitive skin as he takes his hand and pushes down his boxers, hissing out the minute the air hits his precum covered cock, tip red from all the waiting and veins bulging with excitement. 

He drags his wet tip over your puffy lips, spreading them open more to make room for himself when he circles around your clit. As he slides his length between your folds, you feel all emotions gather up inside you, the feeling too hazy as your vision becomes blurry from the need. “Channie,,please..” 

“‘s okay baby,I’ll give it to you.” He chants when he finally pushes his tip inside you, groaning out from you uncontrollably clenching around his cock when he nearly settles halfway in. “You have to relax,angel. You make it impossible for me to–”

“Chan — I’m so sorry, I–” He hears you gasp out, your body all tensed up, your eyes wide open as you look into the mirror across you. He looks swiftly behind him to see your naked bodies melted into one, and then it catches his eye. 

With one thrust he settles fully inside you, moaning from how incredibly tight you are around his length, keeping himself back to not buckle into you rapidly. He puts his hand on your chin, making you look into his eyes and not on his blood covered back. “I asked you to do this, right?” With a softened gaze, he makes sure you understand what he’s saying, not taking his eyes off of you until he sees your lust filled expression again instead of worry ones. “Right baby?”

“Y-yes..” You gulp when you see your fingers slightly covered in red around his neck. “But I didn’t want to-”

“It’s fucking hot.” He hisses, his voice whinier than usual as he puts his forehead on your chest, his hips starting to move. “You did such a great job sweetheart.” He pulls completely out before thrusting into you again, this time harsher as he hears your cries next to his ears. 

When you take another look in the mirror, you see what you just caused. The moment you felt his cock hitting you so deeply you couldn't help but deepen your nails into his skin on his broad back, now covered with blood here and there. It softly dribbles down his defined muscles, and Chan is right. It is fucking hot. 

So you clench around him again when you feel his fingers circling around your clit, his cock hitting the perfect spot as he moans out your name. “Do it again.” He demands, his hand flying on the wall next to your head to thrust up harder into you, making you roll your eyes. As you see Chan so deeply in emotions you scratch his back again, now only deep redness showing on his pale skin. 

The pain on his skin makes him inch closer to his release. The jerks of his hips, slamming against your hips are quickening, becoming more erratic, intense and desperate. You cry out his name nonstop, feeling him twitching inside you. 

“Give it to me.” He’s breathless as he chants into the side of your neck. “I need you to come around my cock baby.” 

His demand tips you over the edge again, moaning out his name as you feel him curl against you, his shoulders on display for you to see what you painted on his back. His grunts are vibrating through your body, the pain melting into pleasure as he paints your insides with his thick cum, feeling so full of him, feeling him everywhere. Chan bites down softly on your skin,kissing the pain away quickly as you both come down from this high. 

You are his. He made sure a long time ago, but now, you made sure he was yours too as you watch the crimson red blood slowly sliding down his back, gathering it on your fingers.

“It took a solo stage for you to claim me as yours?” Chan asks when he softly puts you down on the bathroom counter, a bright smile painting his face once again.

like and reblog is much appreciated! ♡

divider by:@enchanthings

[writtnbyhan]

NFWMB.

PAIRING: bang chan x female!reader

TAGS: protective chan, idol!chan, non-idol!reader, established relationship.

WORD COUNT: 1945

PROMPT: person a gets into a heated argument with someone. person b starts threatening them, so person a picks up person b and carries/drags them out of the room before anyone gets hurt.

warnings: what the prompt says, lol — arguments (not between chan and reader). very very minor violence (arm grabbed), bruising, swearing. Let me know if I missed a warning.

author's note: well, baby's first post. I really hope someone likes this ? my goal is to participate in nanowrimo in my own way so expect weekly posts from yours truly. I was nervous about what to write about bc of it being my first post but I needed to write something or I'd never do it. starting with chan feels right, though I wish I can get to write more fluff soon 😭 this was fun tho! I really like protective and possessive chan&lt;3

You didn’t intend for him to hear. Mostly, because you thought you could handle things on your own, but also because you knew it would somehow end up like this.

You have been visiting the building where the boys work for as long as you remember being in their lives. It’s not your fault, given that they spend almost every waking moment there, working. And the one whose time was taken the most by it happened to be your boyfriend. It was a Saturday and he was working, which wasn’t uncommon, but it also wasn’t healthy. You let it slide sometimes, when you knew time was pressing on him and he needed to be there, for his own peace of mind. But everything was ready for the comeback, there was absolutely no reason for him to spend his weekend locked up in that so-familiar room.

So, you did the only logical thing: went there to drag him out, knowing only you where capable of doing so. No amount of puppy eyes from his kids could do what you could with just asking — you were his girlfriend, after all, it was expected that he’d have a soft spot for you.

You felt the problems creeping on you as soon as you stepped foot in the building. There were new people there, new workers. You hated when new staff started working, because they were still too nosy, and because they would ask too many question, some of which you wouldn’t be able to answer without one of the boys by your side to prove your credibility. It was okay, though, you could only imagine how many girls could go to the front desk and claim what was your truth — “I’m looking for my boyfriend”.

Luckily, the girl at the front desk, Sun Hee, already knew you. She only smiled at you when she saw you enter the building, and her tired smile should’ve been warning enough. You walked to her with a matching smile of your own, she knew you were there to pick up a overworking boyfriend, but you still needed to sign your name in the records.

“hi, lovely! what’s got you tired today?” you asked, curiosity so strong you couldn’t help asking.

“new staff’s first weekend. sometimes I wonder how they got hired in the first place”, she answers truthfully, sighing. She sends you a look you know it’s a warning — beware, idiots walking around feeling entitled!

You sigh, too. That’s going to be troublesome, especially today.

“hope I don’t get to met them today, at least until I find Chan. The boys didn’t warn me, or I would have brought one of them with me”

She showed a sympathetic smile, nodding.

“Prince charming is on studio 3, same as always”, she rolls her eyes playfully.

It says something about your overachieving boyfriend that not only the staff knows where he is all the time, but also that you have almost made friends with said staff. God, you needed to convince him to spend less time working.

After thaking Sun Hee and promising to chat more later, you walked to the elevator, setting to find Chan. You could amost picture him — black hoodie, black beanie hiding his messy curls, and headphones in. You smiled at the image in your head, a much too familiar one, one you loved so much.

Smile still present in your face, you stepped out of the elevator on the corresponding floor, checking different doors that had lights on. You were here to pick up Chan, yes, but you didn’t rule out finding Hyunjin or Felix overworking themselves too. The blondes were quick to follow their leader to the building any day, claiming they always “needed” the extra practice. Jeongin would be just as annoying as they were to you, if it wasn’t for his baby status, which meant everyone took a little more care of him (Minho more than anyone, checking that the boy didn’t overwork himself regularly).

Of course, checking every room as if you didn’t know where you were going to may have looked suspicious, you will give the man that. You were glad he was doing his job, just — well, maybe you were at the wrong place at the wrong time, or maybe he was.

“Excuse me, miss, who are you and where are you going?” He was at least 30 cm taller than you, and he was almost as buff as Changbin. You weren’t intimidated at first, you knew your presence had been cleared for, you had a right to be there, and you had got through the entrance desk, so he must know you were allowed there, right? Maybe he was just trying to help.

“Oh, hi! I’m Y/N. I’m looking for my boyfriend and checking to see if one of his friends is here as well”, you explained.

He stepped closer, almost invading your personal space. You took two steps back.

“Who are you looking for?”, he was eyeing you as if you were suspicious, a threat even. You, who was dressed in a skirt and probably looked like a mouse next to him.

“My boyfriend”, you repeated, “Christopher Bang Chan. He is in one of those studio rooms”, you added matter-of-factly.

“Ma’am, I’m going to have to escort you outside. You shouldn’t be here.” The man said, loudly, like he wanted to be heard. Ah, you thought, he is one of the new ones. It was common, you have seen it happen one too many times — new staff is always trying to prove themselves as good.

You smiled, though you were a little intimidated now. After all, you were alone in a hallway with the man who kept getting closer.

“Why is that? I am allowed here”, you tried to keep calm.

“Look, I don’t know how you passed the front desk, but fans should not be inside the building!”, the man yelled at you, his arm reaching out until he could take you by the wrist, his hold tight enough to bruise.

“Hey! You’re hurting me, stop it. Let me go!” You started struggling, trying to force your arm out of the man’s hold.

“Stop fighting or I’ll call security”, he threatened. You were about to tell him to do so, you’d wait by him until security came there and showed the man that your info was in the system and you were, actually, allowed there. You didn’t get a chance, though, for your boyfriend’s voice reached your ears as soon as the man stopped talking.

“You let her go or I’ll call security myself”, Chan’s voice showed his anger, and as he got closer you saw the determined look in his eyes that made you worry a little. You didn’t doubt Chan was capable of hitting the man if he didn’t let you go right now.

The man, apparently, didn’t notice that, for he did not let go of your wrist.

“I’m so sorry, sir, I’ll have her removed from the building immediately, I don’t know how she got inside.” He was tugging at your wrist, to which you kept quiet. If you expressed how much it hurt, the situation could escalate more than you wanted it to.

“She got inside because she’s allowed to. Now, I said: let her go.” Chan’s voice was ice cold, almost spitting the words at the man’s face. Finally, your arm was free, and you rushed to take your own wrist so as to cover the red marks, evidence of the strong hold the man had on you.

“Why doesn’t she have a pass, then?”

“She doesn’t need one because she’s not a guest. Did you even care to ask about that or check the system? You know, that type of irresponsible behaviour could get you fired — you can’t just go around the building threatening and grabbing people by force!” Chan’s voice got louder near the end.

“It’s okay”, you quipped, putting a hand in Chan’s chest as an attempt to calm him down. He was protective, you knew as much, but he was also a lovely person who you knew didn’t want to get anyone fired. Still, you knew he’d do something like that for you if you asked for it.

That was a wrong move, apparently, because it meant letting him see the marks on your arm.

“what the fuck?” his words were whispered, but it was obvious the anger that came with them. “Man, what is wrong with you? You should have checked before bruising her arm like that! What gives you the right to decide who is and isn’t allowed here?! That’s the front desk’s job, if she’s on the fucking third floor, then I think it’s fucking obvious she passed security. I need your name for I will have to file a complaint about this, grabbing someone like this is violent and no excuse of security can make it right because you are not supposed to even touch here — if you think she is not allowed here, you call security, you do not bruise my girlfriend’s arm.”

Chan’s voice is loud, and he is so close to the man you could tell it is some kind of threat, or maybe show of strenght. The man’s jaw was tense, as if he was ready to argue with the idol himself. You looked around the hallway, not knowing what to do or how to stop this. The man that had grabbed your arm clearly felt too entitled for his own good, and you worried that he might try to turn things physical.

Lucky for you, he didn’t even get a chance to answer before you heard a door open and close quickly, someone rushing out of one of the practice rooms.

You think you have never been happier of seeing the freckles in Felix’s face.

“Chan, everything okay?” sunshine boy asked, putting his arm around you as soon as he was close enough. His voice seemed to get Chan out of whatever state he was in, for he took a few steps back, still not breaking eye contact with the other man.

“Yeah, this dude just grabbed y/n’s arm and bruised her wrist because it’s apparently his first week here and he already feels too entitled.”

Felix looks at you, looking for something in your eyes, before getting closer to his friend.

“Okay, let’s go grab our things and go home to see if she needs to put some ice on her wrist”. He doesn’t let Chan answer before taking his hand with his smaller one, intertwining his fingers and almost dragging him out of there. You’re quick behind them, taking Chan’s other hand to give him some peace of mind.

Felix looks back at you and you smile in thanks. You know your boyfriend is way too protective, but a situation like this had never happened before. It’s good to know he’d do anything to defend you, but you still didn’t want him to get in a physical fight in his workplace.

“Don’t you dare think this gets any of you out of the hook for working on one of your free days, boys.” You reprimand them, hands still intertwined while entering the studio. Chan’s calmer now, his cheeks blushed with what you guess is something akin to embarrassement; you know he doesn’t like getting like this, but sometimes his emotions overpower him. You kiss his cheek, deciding to not comment on the subject until he does so himself. After all, you achieved what you came here to do — collect whichever stray kid had wandered their way to work on a weekend and get them home.

[mattyriddlesbitch]

heyyyy pookie!!! soo, I was the one that requested the "all yours" post, and first, I loveeeeee it never expect anything less of you!!! Secondly, i was wondering if you could do something like that, where y/n is not from Britain and English isn't her first language. Y/n is shy, so when she doesn't know a word she doesn't know how to say it and then her words end up being a whole jumble up. also, can it be just like a bunch of fluffiness and if u want a little bit of fun time?

ps y is this actually me

pps sorry if I'm asking so much and you don't understand, I just love mothers writing and English ain't my first language :)

Super short, but I hope you like it! And are you calling me mother?

😭😭😭 It's just ironic if you are bc I am one lmaooooo. Anyways, love you, pookie!

It Started With A Quill

Mattheo Riddle x Reader

Warnings: Cussing, that's about it

When you first met Mattheo, you were still struggling with English a little. You didn’t know or you forgot some words. It made going to a school in Britain, where everyone speaks English, a little hard. So, you were super shy when you met him in one of your classes and he sat down next to you.

“Ah, fuck.” He muttered to himself when he was looking through his bag. He sighed and turned to you. “Do you have a quill I could borrow? I forgot mine.” He asked.

“Quill.” You repeated the word, furrowing your eyebrows as you looked at him.

“Yeah. A quill.” He nodded, not understanding you didn’t understand him.

“Uh…” You shrugged, a little embarrassed and awkward about the situation. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Now he was looking at you curiously. “A quill. To write with.” He said, making a gesture with his hand, mimicking writing.

“Oh!” You nodded, piecing together what he meant and handed him an extra quill from your bag. “Sorry, I’m not the best with English.” You said with a sheepish smile.

“Oh, English isn’t your first language?” Mattheo asked, tilting his head as he leaned back in his seat.

You nodded in response.

“How’s school for you then?” He asked curiously.

“School is…” You knew the word you wanted to say, but couldn’t remember it in English. “It can be hard at times. Like I don’t always…” You clicked your tongue, trying to recall the word.

“Understand?” He offered.

“Yes! Understand!” You nodded. “I don’t always understand the teachers. The words get mixed in my head.” You said.

“Sounds frustrating.” He sighed sympathetically.

“Um, what’s your…what do I call you?” You asked.

“My name? Mattheo. What’s yours?” He smiled ever so slightly, seeming to enjoy your struggle with words.

“(Y/N).” You answered. “Nice to greet you.”

“Meet. It’s nice to meet you.” He smiled as he corrected you.

You sighed, blushing in embarrassment. “Right. Sorry. Nice to meet you.”

“That’s cute.” He said, leaning forward to rest his head on his hand on the desk as he still smiled at you. “You get embarrassed so easily. You know it’s not a big deal, right?”

“I know. Still…” You shrugged, looking away. “People make jokes about it.”

“How about you teach me your language and you can make fun of me?” He said, looking over you now that you weren’t looking at him.

“You want to learn my language?” You asked curiously as you looked back at him.

He shrugged. “I've always wanted to learn another language anyways. This way I can get a personal tutor.” He said with a sweet smile, looking back in your eyes.

“Tutor.” You repeated the word. “Would you help me too?”

“I guess I can.” He said, turning his attention to the teacher as they started class.

That was how you met Mattheo and how he got you to give him private lessons in your language.

Taglist:

Let's see if this works this time

@jeannie-beannie @yourenogoodforme @mixvchelle @helendeath @evaslytherpuff

@ireallyneed-somesleep @soaked4abby @hpnsfwaddict @mayamonroem @motherfing-stargirl

@dracoslovergirl @littlemadamred @i-like-pandas5

[sweetteainthesummerx]

THE LOVE LASTS SO LONG (9)

In which Aubrey gets interviewed...

series masterlist

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

ellemagazine posted

ellemagazine Our June edition features Aubrey Yang on her directing debut, the trajectory of her career and new friends in Formula One. Full article linked in bio.

tagged: aubreyyang

liked by formula1, olliebearman, mckennagraceful and 80,944 others

view all comments

user1 ON MY HANDS AND KNEES BARK BARK SHES SO FINE

aubreyyang thank you for having me Elle! always a blast 💋

-- aubberieloverss MOTHERRR

dior.n.goodjohn ILY UR SO BEAUTIFUL AND ETHERAL

-- aubreyyang stawpp ur making me blush

formula1 thank you for the shout out! hope to see you in the Ferrari paddocks soon 🏎️

liked by aubreyyang

-- f1wagsupdates BAHAHA f1 admin ur brave for that one

lilymhe prettiest girl

-- aubreyyang me and dior miss u tons! can't wait to see u soon

mvertsppdudu can ollie fight ill catch him in the paddocks

ELLE MAGAZINE

NEW ISSUE

INTERVIEW WITH AUBREY YANG

Aubrey Yang, the multi-faceted actress debuts her talent and grit for directing and screenwriting in her short film Pelt, winning the Best Screenplay and a notable nominee for the Best Film during London Film week. Since we've last seen her at Elle New York, she has turned 18, nearing 19 now, and made some drastic changes to her life.

Since her film, Yang has not been in any other production as talent, but teases us with a new project "that's coming soon, don't worry". She adores her new found love for being a creative, and is scouting to get her hands on more projects in Hollywood on that side of the camera.

Her studies continue at New York University and she is set to graduate early, next year. When asked about her ability to balance school and work, she smiles knowingly and tells us that "it's important to take breaks, but more importantly, I've chosen things I love to do".

During these breaks, Yang is often seen with fellow young actress Dior Goodjohn and international pop sensation Olivia Rodrigo. But 18 has brought a new hobby: Formula One.

"I met Lily [Muni He] and Alex [Albon] at a gala, and we hit it off. They're like my parents" she answers adoringly. She has been seen multiple times in both the Williams and Ferrari garages visiting with fans and learning about the mechanics of racing.

"I've met some wonderful people; I never really got to be a regular teenager because I was working and going to university early. They've really helped teach me about having fun and letting loose."

Next year when we inevitably feature her lovely face again, we'll see the new changes to her life.

MESSAGES

ollie

I read ur article it was great

sad I didn't get a shout out tho :(

aubrey

sorry boo

PROMISE TO GIVE YOU ONE NEXT YEARR

ollie

okay :)

anyways r we still on for the trip?

aubrey

yes mr. bearman

ollie

I was thinking Charles and Alex might want to go w us

aubrey

YESSS MY FAV MONAGESQUES

ollie

gotta go but talk later? ☺️

aubrey

kk cya bearman

ollie

bye yang :)

MESSAGES

alex 🖼️

cou cou chérie!

(hey dear)

aubrey 🎬

AHH ALEX J'avais l'intention de t'envoyer un texto ! On part en voyage en Europe ?

(I was meaning to text you, are we on for the Europe trip?)

alex 🖼️

yes but I have smth to ask

aubrey 🎬

um not the English what's wrong

alex 🖼️

DO U LIKE OLLIE

aubrey 🎬

UM BYE WHY

alex 🖼️

bc I have to watch him text u and its dégoûtant

(disgusting)

aubrey 🎬

bro idk

dior thinks we like each other

its just hes becoming such a good friend

he makes me smile

and hes so sweet and kind and gentle

hes not like any other guy ik

alex 🖼️

its going to be such a long trip 😔

aubreyyang posted on their story

olliebearman replied to your story

cute 😊

aubreyyang

ikr shes my cousins baby

olliebearman

oh

very cute

wanna play 9 ball on message

aubreyyang

YOURE ON

bearyfast_04 posted

bearyfast_04 I think im ready to be a father

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, leosdad and 10 others

leosdad fatherhood is hard

-- landoakabob u have a dog

-- leosdad u take that back hes my son

pastryboy SIR U ARE 21 WDYM CHILDREN

-- bearyfast_04 but look at her 🥰

-- arthuranddw another fallen soldier

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

Taglist: @callsignwidow @iloveyou3000morgan @honethatty12 @taygrls

© sweetteainthesummerx.tumblr. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.

[closetcasefabray]

jesus saves (i spend)

i have been writing parts of an avatrice college au for two gd years now. the ideas & writing are scattered between here (one of the tags below should work), my whatsapp convos with @snowandwolves, on discord, my dinosaur laptop that crashes, & my email. it’s a fucking disaster but whatever so am i & not once in my life have i had my shit together so this is all unsurprising.

SO what i’m saying is, here’s the only part i have ‘formally’ written in fic form bc i posted that other ficlet. doing this made me almost throw my dino laptop & my phone out a window on several occasions—that’s why there isn’t more. but i just wanna share this.

more notes & rambles at the end.

//

You notice her because it's syllabus week of your freshman year, it's an 8 AM class, and you're fairly confident you're still drunk from the party you attended last night, but she raises her hand and correctly answers a question posed by your theology professor without hesitation. Your professor, Father Vincent, was likely hoping for a good guess at best, but there she is, exceeding expectations from the moment she speaks. You pickup on an accent, which you would find incredibly attractive if you weren't so thrown by her perfect and concise response, like a well-prepared speech is always readily accessible in the back of her mind—a girl with all the answers. A young woman, really. 

You, however, are not—you're just a girl. You're just a girl who shows up to her morning classes smelling like the bar or the house party from the night before, like the weed you started smoking almost immediately upon arriving to university during orientation week, like the cigarettes you smoke because it affords you a little more quiet outside and an excuse to borrow a lighter and talk to a cute boy or a pretty girl.

You're just a girl who technically died, existed in nothingness for a whole minute before being ripped back into a reality of blank ceilings and the sound of your heartbeat in your ears. You're just a girl strangers prayed for after they heard about the American child pulled from the wreckage. You're just a girl who didn't get any credit for teaching herself to stand again, to walk again—and if you’re being completely honest, you’re a girl who’s incredibly bitter that a god you never saw in that one minute got all the credit and none of the blame—for taking your mother from you, for taking years from you that had to be spent healing from god’s grace or lack thereof. 

You're just a girl who is tired of being told to look at her life as an expression of holiness, who thinks it is more so the consequence of indifferent stardust. But you still look for the beauty in that, in humanity and its flaws—these meaningless beings in a vast universe, creating and destroying their own little, myopic worlds on this spinning rock. Some will dream of poetry for their lovers, and some will dream of arsenals to level cities. You wonder how many lips were pressed together in a final kiss versus hands clasped together in prayer when fire fell from the sky in the name of God. You wonder what that says about faith.

You'd like to think if your mother could see you, she'd laugh at the irony because once you were baptized, she never took you to church. God finds a way, so you spent five miserable years in a Catholic orphanage before you were sent back to America. People said you were lucky to have two years in a foster family at your age, but it felt like living with strangers who were tasked with the minimum of keeping you alive. Then you were moved into a home for teen girls with a nun at the helm, and that’s where you actually felt fortunate for the first time in years. It was there that Mother Superion helped you with your studies and college applications. So here you are, tipping into a hangover in one of the oldest buildings on campus, learning theology from a priest.

But your mom would understand. (You don’t remember much of her, and you try not to think about that too deeply, or else you have to deal with the resulting ache that comes from reaching inside yourself for something that’s gone.) You have spliced together what you can recall into a short reel—you mom buckling into your car seat while humming a show tune, showing you how to fold a pizza slice and telling about a city famous for their pizza, and holding your hand in a museum in Spain, promising to take you to another big museum closer to home, the home you never saw again. So you promised yourself and the parts of her you carry that you’d make it here.

You would have had to pay almost full tuition if you wished to attend your reach, requiring immense debt, so you ended up at the school that offered you a ticket to the city and a hefty enough scholarship you could get through four years without requiring loans or a full-time job to afford it. (You first refused to use your mother’s death as a sob story in you application letter, but Mother Superion put her hand on yours and said, So rarely do these letters contain truth, but do not be afraid to tell yours. In telling your truth there is a sadness, yes—and I know you detest pity—but of all the things that have been taken from you, do not feel guilty for taking some of it back to live a better life.) You remember getting your acceptance letter, and looking up at the sky and flipping it off, praying whatever god hears you, No thanks to you!

But your bitterness temporarily takes a backseat in your mind as you look at your classmate, beautiful in the refracted light shining through the stained glass window, speaking so graciously of god you'd think Jesus were in the room, about to hand her his latest work. It's poetry, bordering on scripture in a new tongue, and you'd almost be a believer if it didn't sound as if she had repeated these words—practiced—enough times to believe them herself. You wonder what that says about her faith.

If the nuns at the orphanage had spoken the gospel as she does, maybe you'd be here for different reasons. You're fascinated.

Behold, you are beautiful…

//

i promise this fic gets lighter & has some silliness. so some notes/tangents:

this is 100% self-indulgence bc i heard ‘write what you know’ & ran with that shit. when i visited a friend at a state school in a college town i was so so confused bc it was just a diff campus culture entirely. then i was going to make this set in an ambiguous city, but i literally have saved places in google maps that would be great places to kiss someone sooooo you get NY avatrice.

likely setting this before instagram & smartphones bc i’m old/lazy & i can.

the title is from st. vincent who my friend introduced me to in college. “paris is burning” changed my brain chemistry & so i listened to her music on repeat for ages—“jesus saves, i spend” is on the same album.

father vincent will not be a bad man or evil professor. he will be as he was before adriel—a lost man who found himself through god & still a little broken but caring & devout.

also song of songs/song of solomon is like… the only part of the bible i fucked with in theology class so that’s the reference at the end. also another line used in another scene with JC, chanel, & ava written in v rough form. maybe will share that later.

this is meant to be a fic with a post-grad sequel as well. not much written of that but a lot of ideas everywhere.

once i figure out where i’m moving (hahahaha i’m so stressed), i’ll consider a ko-fi or something (i wish emails & names weren’t shown though). but mostly i will likely need a second job to save up for an actually good computer/macbook. once i have that i’ll be able to post on ao3.

anyway thanks for reading & being here :3

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part fifteen

summary: you showed him colours he knows he can't see with anyone else.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.1k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, r is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: another happy birthday post for @that-veela-girl bc i love her and thank you so so much for supporting me and reading my stuff and helping me with it too AH it just means so much to me!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

You didn't talk about a single important thing in the hour that followed. You had changed into more comfortable day clothes, something Coryo instantly thought made you look more like yourself, and somehow made your way outside onto the back porch swing.

"Did you win your prize?" You ask, staring out over the meadow behind your home as you gently rock the bench back and forth with one foot on the ground.

"I did." He smiles, unable to take his eyes off of you. You catch him staring as you turn to look at him, an excited smile on your face.

"Did you really?" You grin, excitedly reaching out and placing your hands on his thigh, hoping that it wasn't a joke.

"I did, yeah." He confirms, chuckling. "Highbottom was very against it, but the odds weighed against him." Coryo shrugs.

"Oh, Coryo, that's wonderful. Congratulations." You pat his leg before removing your hands, retreating them to your own lap.

"I owe it all to you."

"Why is that, anyway?" You ask, eyes once again focussed on the wind forcing the grass this way and that. "I knew you needed people to like me, but you never told me why."

He lets out a breath while he delays his response. "Well... The task they gave us was to turn the tributes into something people could get attached to- something people wanted to watch." He explains. "You made it easy. I just needed to get people to see you for who you were. To see that you were worth watching. That you were special." He shrugs, looking down at his lap and picking at his nails. "It helped that Sejanus's family paid out the prize, I think." He chuckles.

"Ah." You nod, not wanting to think about it anymore but still glad you got answers. "Is he upset with me?"

"Sejanus?" Coryo asks and you hum. "No, not one bit." He promises.

"I-I mean..." You stammer, taking a deep breath. "About Marcus?"

"No." Coryo repeats, shaking his head. "He left before the games started, he didn't see what happened. I explained it to him before we even left the arena, though. He felt bad for even thinking for a moment you had done something wrong."

"You're sure?" You ask quietly, eyes brimming red as you look over at him. He nods. He wants to reach out and touch you, hold your hand, but he's unsure if that's even okay. Even after what happened the night before the games, now you were treating him very much as a friend. He didn't want to overwhelm you, so he would leave those questions for another day.

"Positive."

"You don't speak of your Dean favourably." You comment, wanting to change the subject. "Why? He was very good to me."

"You met him?"

"He saw me off at the train station." You nod. "Gave me some cash, promised me that compact would make it back to you."

"Oh..." He mumbles. "He just has some vendetta against me. I don't know why."

"I see." You nod. "That makes sense... He told me that I was lucky I survived you. It was odd."

Coryo chews the inside of his cheek, and it was his turn to look out over the scenery while you watched him. "He's always hated me. I've done nothing to him."

"I did not think you would." You defend quickly, the air becoming thick around you. You answered too promptly- he would know that you were afraid. Maybe think you were lying. Even as he sat next to you, smiling more than you had ever seen him do it before, you couldn't look at him the same.

Coryo can sense that you still don't want to talk about the games in any major capacity, and it was in his best interest to not bring up Bobbin, so he changes the subject. "Your cat is adorable, by the way." He can tell that makes you comfortable enough to relax again. He missed you looking at him.

"Isn't he?" You smile, shifting your gaze from him to the back door, hoping to catch a glimpse of your pet in the small window. "He's a sweetheart."

"I'm just glad he didn't attack me." Coryo jokes.

"What?" You laugh. "Why would he?"

"I don't know! I've never had a pet. They scare me a little."

"Oh, Coriolanus Snow is afraid of a cat?" You tease him. "I didn't know that about you."

"Y/N! Lucy Gray is here!" Your mother calls from inside the house and you're quickly distracted, clumsily standing up from the bench, leaving it swinging unsteadily underneath him.

"Coming!" You call out, grabbing his hand to pull him up with you. "You must meet her, she's my best friend. If you think I'm good company you'll see she's all the better."

"I've met her." He replies, allowing you to pull him up from the bench anyway.

"You have?" You ask, brow furrowed.

"Yeah, she helped Sejanus and I find you."

"Sejanus is here?" You smile wide and he nods, a little confused.

"Yeah, he came with-" He doesn't even finish his sentence before you're moving quickly into the house and to the living room where your mother had let them in, leaving the door swinging open behind you.

"Sejanus!" You call out as you see him, almost tackling him in a hug- armed with the confidence in Coryo's honesty that he didn't hate you.

He laughs, catching you in his arms. "Y/N, it's so good to see you..."

Coryo chews on the inside of his cheek as he follows you in. He wasn't met with a hug, or near the same amount of excitement. Maybe he underestimated how close you and Sejanus had become while he was stuck in the hospital ward after the bombing.

He can see the three, evenly distributed scars on the back of your leg. Healing, but still bruised all this time later. He wonders if it still hurts.

"How I have missed you- how are you doing?" You grin, pulling away from the hug and running your hands up and down Sejanus's arms.

"I'm pretty good! I've always wanted to see Twelve, so now I finally had a good excuse." He jokes, looking down at you. "How are you, though? That's much more important."

Coryo takes a moment to notice Lucy Gray staring at him. "I take it your hello didn't look like that?" She whispers, forcing him to relax his facial expression to hide any disdain.

"It did." He lies.

"Oh! My mistake then." She replies, clearly not buying it.

He thought you were treating him like a friend, but if this is how you treated friends, he obviously did not meet the mark.

"We found you guys a place to stay." Lucy Gray continues, watching you and Sejanus chat.

"Thank you." Coryo nods at her, but he's still watching you, eyes taking up and down your body, your hair, your skin- but always finding a home on your injured calf.

"Yeah, of course." She hums, arms crossed over her chest. "She'll come around, you know."

You turn, finally ready to greet Lucy Gray. "I'm sorry, I didn't even say hello to you." You giggle, giving her a gentle, less urgent hug.

"That's quite alright, Y/N/N. You see me every day." She laughs, gently rubbing your back.

"And it still doesn't feel like enough." You respond.

"I agree." She hums, pulling away and holding onto your shoulders as you smile at her. Lucy Gray is the only one who knows what you're going through, the only one besides Lennox who knows what your nightmares are like, to have you cry with your head in her lap in her backyard or even at the lake where you used to share the best days of your lives. You felt like you ruined it all, but you felt seen with her. Always.

"Lucy Gray found us a place to stay for the month." Sejanus tells his friend.

"I heard." He mumbles, fighting back the green monster bellowing behind his eyes.

"Yes! Right, I'll get you guys there and settled. I'm sure Y/N is just dying for her afternoon nap." Lucy Gray says, gently squeezing your shoulders. You nod. Even though your visit with Coryo was pleasant, it still placed a weight just behind your ribs you couldn't describe. You needed a break, and your best friend could see it.

"Yes, well, can't get enough of my bed these days..." You joke, but it doesn't come out as lighthearted as you intended, all context considered. You clear your throat. "We are such stuff as dreams are made on; and our little life is rounded with a sleep."

"Certainly." Lucy Gray smiles, pulling you into a quick side hug.

Coryo watches, avoiding reacting to what he saw happening in front of him. With your mother, and now with Lucy Gray. No one here, apparently, just hums in confusion or looks at you funny when you say something that hardly makes sense. They know you. They understand every word; or at least they pretend they do. They answer accordingly, like it was just a normal bit of conversation. There was no one else quite like you, and he was lucky to get to hear it. He knew that, but they knew it first. By the time the games had started, by the time you won and left, Coriolanus had started picking up the habit as well. You weren't entertainment, leaving something to question after every conversation, it was you. All you. And he loved you for it.

"How long will you be here?" You ask, returning your attention to him now. Finally.

"A month." Coryo answers promptly, smiling at you. At first, he thought a month was a long time until the next train left, but now, it didn't feel like nearly enough.

"Wonderful!" You smile, clapping excitedly. "So I will most definitely see you again."

"It's you I'm here to see." He grins, a pink flush spreading on his cheeks.

It matches yours almost perfectly. "Good." You nod. "I'm glad." You almost choke over the words and hope he doesn't notice.

"That reminds me! Lucy Gray's show tonight, are you going?" Sejanus asks you and you glance nervously over at her. It seems to Coryo that his friend was too eager to engulf himself in local culture, when they were supposed to be there to see you.

"Oh, you guys are certainly welcome but..." She looks back at you as she speaks, silently communicating with you on the best way to say this. You just nod. You trust her to speak for you. "Y/N typically doesn't come. It's nothin' new to her, any of my music she wants to hear I can sing for her anytime." She smiles.

"Coryo?" Sejanus asks him now, and he looks at you the same way you looked at Lucy Gray.

You sense his hesitation. Clearly, he will only go if you do. "You know what? I wasted time, and now doth time waste me. I'll come."

Lucy Gray looks surprised, but very pleased. "You will?"

"Sure, why not." She knows why not, but she won't dig any deeper into it in front of the boys.

"Alrighty then! We better get going, I've left rehearsals for long enough. The Covey is probably out searchin' by now." Lucy Gray says, waving the boys to pass her to get to the door.

"Are you sure?" She whispers to you once they cannot hear. "Don't feel pressured."

"I want to spend time with them." You whisper back. "I'll be fine."

She nods, a look of worry in her eyes as she hugs you again.

"Coryo?" You call as you pull away, walking past her to get to the front entrance of your small home.

His head whips up at your voice calling his name, looking at you expectantly. "Will you..." You start, and Coryo watches closely as you begin wringing your hands together in front of yourself.

Yes. Whatever you need, yes.

"If it's not too much trouble, can you come get me before you go? I don't like to walk at night..."

"Of course." He answers without hesitation. "I'll be back later, then."

"Thank you." You smile, cheeks red from the embarrassing question. "I'll see you guys tonight."

You had your so desired afternoon nap after that. Your mom came and laid in bed with you, gushing over how Coriolanus was such a good guest. A kind soul, she said. She could see it in his eyes, apparently, and hear it in the way he spoke about you. You wanted to believe her, but you really weren't sure.

You couldn't help but see him differently after he killed Bobbin. It wasn't necessarily that he killed him, it was the overkill that really haunted you. That last swing after the threat was so clearly subdued. He didn't look like himself anymore. It kept you up at night- and when it didn't, it was a frequent event in your nightmares.

You woke with a jolt from your nap, picturing your mentor standing over you with his blond curls falling over his eyes. You had a hand out to try protect yourself as you slid back across the cold, cemented ground of the arena. This was a common nightmare you had since you returned.

So when you got home from work only to see him standing in your living room, with your mother who knew nothing but the good things about him, you could have cried. Screamed. You thought for a moment that maybe you were sleeping and the dreams had adapted into something worse, but no. He was there. And he was kind, and so happy to see you that the boy you spent most nights remembering seemed incredibly unlikely to exist. When you looked into his eyes, as he silently begged you not to run, he was just Coryo.

Quick footsteps in the hallway turn your attention to the door. "You alright?" Your brother asks, hand braced on the frame to stop himself as if he had been moving too quickly to do it on his own.

"I'm fine." You nod, taking a deep breath and swallowing back your fear again.

Worried, Lennox looks back down the hall before coming into your room, closing the door behind himself. You move over in your shared bed, giving him his spot back as he slides in next to you.

"Nightmare?" He asks quietly, laying on his side to face you.

You just nod.

"Was it... about him?"

You want to lie. Tell him that no, it was just the games in general, but you knew he wouldn't buy it. Not after answering the door to see the boy whose name you mumbled in your sleep, begging for mercy standing in front of him.

That was the reason you had to tell your brother in the first place.

"No, I- Coryo, please..." Your brother hears you shifting under the blanket next to him, watching as Tybalt's ears perk up from your feet. "Please... Don't!"

"Y/N?" He mumbles, rolling over. "You okay?"

Then he realizes as he sees your eyes scrunched shut that you're still asleep. Nightmares he had dealt with for almost a week now, but tonight was the first night your mother didn't insist on sleeping in the room with you, leaving him on the floor while she took his spot. He had a suspicion that your dad was doing the same, just outside the door. But this was the first time you spoke.

"Y/N." He sits up, grabbing your shoulder to try and shake you awake. "Wake up. It's just a nightmare."

You sit up so fast it makes him jump back, the scream that fell from your lips made his heart race even faster. "Y/N?" He asks, quickly crawling back into the bed and trying to touch you, help you, but you're pushing yourself back against the wall, grasping at the sheets as you looked around. It takes you a moment to realize where you are- home. Safe.

Your brother turns his head as your parents come rushing in to comfort you. He doesn't say anything about you talking until you finally settle them enough with your calming smile, assuring them that you're fine and they should go back to bed. That they needed their sleep, while your own cheeks were still red and stained with tears.

He doesn't say a word until he's sure he's heard them go back to bed, staring at you as you lay back down under your quilt and your chest is still rising and falling so fast he's wondering how you're even getting any oxygen to your blood.

"You were talking to him." Lennox whispers, and you just turn your head to look at him.

"I'm sorry." You whisper, voice still hoarse from the scream.

"What did he do to you?" By now, Coriolanus Snow or "Coryo", was a common name in your household. You only spoke of him favourably this last week you'd been home and even before that. That he helped you, saved you.

"Nothing, bud. It was just a dream." Now you're hushing him, reaching over and pulling the blanket up over his shoulder.

You can tell your brother doesn't believe you, but he doesn't know how to ask. What to ask, how to go about it without setting you off or hearing an answer that makes his blood boil so intensely that he jumps on the next Capitol bound freight train to do something you would never forgive him for.

"He didn't hurt me. I promise." You whisper again, sensing his fear. "I just..." You cut yourself off with a sigh. "Can you keep a secret?"

"You know I can." He promises.

You nod, small smile falling on your lips that's illuminated only by the moonlight streaming through the window. "Do you remember that boy from District Eight? Bobbin?" You whisper and he nods, hanging on every word.

"I watched Coriolanus kill him." You continue, assessing his reaction; confusion and shock settling in all at once. "And it was... Scary. He was already dead, but he hit him again and the look in his eyes I-..." You slightly shake your head. "It wasn't him. That was the last time I saw him. Coryo, I mean."

"How'd he get in?" Your brother whispers. "What was he doing?" It's all he could think to ask. Maybe he had gone to try and save you- to break you out. If you had told him that an hour ago, he would have believed it based on how you spoke about him.

"Sejanus, my other friend, snuck in. He brought bread to scatter over his tribute, and Coryo had to get him out safe." You explain. "He did, but not until after..." You sniff, wiping your eyes with the sheet.

"It's like you didn't know him." Your brother says, fully understanding.

"Yeah." You reply quietly. Lennox had always understood you. "I don't know if he was ever really my friend. If he's not the person I thought he was."

"I'm sorry." Your brother settles on.

"Nature teaches beasts to know their friends."

"You are not a beast." He whispers, brow furrowed.

You smile sadly at him. "You should get back to sleep."

"Yeah." You whisper, looking away and out the window at the sun beginning to set. Coryo would be here soon, and suddenly you were regretting agreeing to go out at all. "It was about him."

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie ,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @scorpiolystoned , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

[vanishingstarrs]

wish on an eyelash ( k. takami x singer/influencer!reader, established relationship ) ( this is very much fluff and indulgence, take a shot if you’ve ever thought abt hawks n his eyeliner bc c’mon we all have, it’s hot as shit )

You’d taken your time, setting up your special ring lights and tripod, writing down the questions you’d be answering during your video, and making sure all your makeup supplies were set out in an order that wouldn’t make it obvious which order they went in.

During your last live video, you’d been asked multiple times for your boyfriend to do your makeup for a video.

Now, your boyfriend was a busy man (being the number two hero and all), but your audience had been requesting his presence in a video for some time now and you had to admit the idea sounded quite fun. Keigo was always welcome to your ideas, happy to show up during your lives if your fans asked where he was and eager to help you with your set ups whenever you were going to film something new. He’d actually done a voice over for you once a few months back (your fans had went nuts over that) when you lost your voice post concert and you’d promised to get your routine up before a certain point so it shouldn’t be too difficult for him. That, and the fact that he liked to watch you get ready most days.

You’d tweeted out a week earlier for them to send in some questions as a bonus while he did your makeup.

“We ready, baby?”

A pair of familiar hands hugged you around the middle, your boyfriend resting his chin on your shoulder and kissing your cheek repeatedly.

“Just about, you wanna approve the questions we’ll be answering this video?” You asked, holding up the notebook for him to see.

“Nah, I’m an open book, plus I trust you chose appropriate questions.”

“The amount of people that are curious about our sex lives is insane.” You rolled your eyes as you took a seat on the floor and patted the spot next to you for him to sit too.

He glanced at the coffee table, you guessed he was trying to picture the order of things.

You started off the video with your basic greeting that you always used before introducing your boyfriend (as if he needed an introduction) and he grinned as he gave a wave to the camera,“I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”

A nervous smile lit up your face as you clapped your hands together and explained the gist of what your viewers would be seeing today,“As you all have been requesting, Keigo will be doing my makeup for me today. A bunch of you noticed he watches me get ready a lot and said he should be able to do it and—”

“I’d never turn down a challenge.” He cut in, smirking,“Trust me, I got this.”

“For my sake, I really hope so.” You then picked up your notebook,“As a treat so you guys won’t be too bored, I sent out an ask for questions, many of you guys always wonder about our relationship and while we do like to keep things private, we thought a little insider from us couldn’t hurt.”

“Do you know what you’re gonna start with?” You asked your boyfriend and he grinned, surprising you by picking up the correct item.

“You gotta prime your surface first, don’t ya?”

You turned your body toward him instead of facing the camera so he could begin, Keigo placed both hands on your face and kissed your nose before adjusting your position.

“Alright, first question.” He said as he uncapped the primer.

You glanced at your notebook out of your periphery,“How did you and Hawks meet?”

“Of course.” He rolled his eyes playfully as he rubbed the primer in with his fingers, letting it dry while he scanned the table for his next item.

He faced the camera briefly,“We met at the grocery store, we’re boring people, okay?”

“Truth.” You giggled, as you were sure people expected a much more exciting story.

Keigo, now armed with an eyebrow pencil, began running the brush through your brows before slightly marking a few empty spots. You grinned, he knew you so well.

“I’m sure many of you think we met at that gala where I interviewed Keigo on whether he preferred chicken or beef and he said—”

“Take me out to dinner and find out.” He quoted himself from that night.

You laughed,“Sorry to disappoint, but by then we’d actually been on a couple dates and I very much knew the answer to that question, I was asking stuff from his fans. We were pretty lovesick already at that point, I think, and then everyone started shipping us.”

“Unbeknownst to you all, we were seeing everything and just laughing.” Keigo chuckled.

He tapped his chin as he picked up an eyeshadow palette and opened it up to sniff it.

He searched the pile of brushes while you asked the next question,“What was your first date like?”

“Ooh, I have this one!” Keigo dipped his brush into what he guessed was your favorite color based on how much was missing,“Initially, I wanted to fly her to our date spot, but since I happened to know how deathly afraid of heights she was… I knew it wouldn’t happen — not on the first date, I thought — so we took a nice little stroll there, I picked her up and she was wearing a sparkly dress and looked oh so pretty—”

“There’s a picture of me in that outfit up on my accounts, actually, if you know you know.” You commented before he grabbed your chin and instructed for you to close your eyes.

“I took that picture.” He made sure to clarify, and you felt him tap something (glitter, you were guessing) into your inner eyelids as he continued,“Anyway, I had this gazebo set up really nice, lots of lights, flowers, cute shit, and we had dinner and talked the whole night, super romantic. By the end of it, she loved me—”

“Don’t lie!”

“You did, dove, I mean, c’mon, you let me fly you around by the end of it.”

“Okay, I did.” You sighed,“But only because you made me feel like I could really trust you.”

“And have I ever given you any reason to doubt that?” He looked into your eyes and again, you sighed.

“No…”

“Then?”

“Whatever. What’s next?” You pointed at your makeup pile that he was slowly going through, putting aside what he’d already used.

He went through and placed foundation all over your face, making sure to blend it into your neck while you went through a few more questions.

“Who does Hawks’s eyeliner?” You giggled.

Your boyfriend scoffed, facing the camera with a deadpan expression on his face,“Okay, I’m saying this once and only once, much to contrary belief, the ‘eyeliner’?” He rubbed at his eye and even dragged his finger down,“Is not makeup, it’s not a part of my costume or a fun little gimmick, the closest I can get to explaining it is a beauty mark. It’s permanent.”

“You tell ‘em, babe.” You continued to laugh, only to stop as he picked up your actual eyeliner.

“Just for that we’re gonna replicate this on you.”

“Awe.” You pouted,“I can’t pull that off.”

And he knew it too since you only ever applied eyeliner very minimally.

“Shush and hold still.” He paused the step he was on to attempt the new look for your eyes.

“I’d like you all to know, Keigo is very much holding his breath right now and his mouth is wide open, he’s definitely one of us.” You said smugly, an inside joke only those who wore makeup and did anything eye related could understand.

“Hold on, shh.” Your boyfriend paused as he swiped a finger under your eye and held out your fallen eyelash to you,“Make a wish.”

This wasn’t a rare occurrence actually, you often lost many eyelashes due to rapid blinking whenever your eyes became strained and he loved for you to make wishes. You often did the same to him; and so you closed your eyes and thought of your wish before tossing the tiny thing over your shoulder.

He grinned and pecked your lips a few times, satisfied that the lash hadn’t stuck to you because it meant your wish would be granted,“So what’d ya wish for?”

For this to never end.

You smiled back,“Can’t tell, won’t come true.”

He pouted, but knew the rules just as well. He finished up his eyeliner and immediately resuming his last step. Now you were the one pouting,“I wanna see.”

“Nope, wait until the end.”

“Boo.”

“Next question, lovebird.”

You continued through the questions until Keigo seemed satisfied enough with your looks, finishing off with a kiss to seal the deal and you smiled,“Done?”

“Mhm.”

“No lipstick?”

“No point.” He shrugged, leaning back on his hands,“I’ll end up eating it all off in a second anyway.”

You didn’t bother correcting him, picking up a mirror to check out the eyeliner that he actually made a little thinner than what his non-eyeliner looked like and you smiled, it didn’t look half bad and he got all the steps right. Though he didn’t do them in the order you did them, they weren’t technically wrong and you looked pretty alright.

As you finished off the video, your boyfriend waved at the tripod and you shut off the camera.

“Well, I’d call that a success.” You smiled at him.

“Great, wanna go get ice cream?” He looked up at you in adoration before teasing,“I wanna show off my hard work.”

You smiled, you already had your wish.

[minthara]

really long personal answer to an anon i got. trigger warnings in the tags.

First of all i wanna apologise to everyone who follows me for the last few days lmao, but i feel like if i dont post about it im literally gonna kill myself. I need somewhere to write down my thoughts because i feel bad always going to the same 2 friends i still have and complain about the same situation again and again about a dude they dont even know that well.

Thank you so much for ur message really, and sorry if im gonna take it as another excuse to write down all my thoughts, but i think it will really help me.

So the pathetic thing. I didnt ever post about this and in real life i think only like. 3 people knew. But after we broke up i begged him for months to take me back. It really was pathetic. And when he called me pathetic i think he was just very very hurt, because that was the second time i broke up with him (just a few weeks ago). It was in the sense of me begging him for so long just to break up again a few months later. I feel fucking stupid even writing this. I spent about 10k euros trying to get away from him, it fucked up my life so massively that i lost a job i really loved over it.

And now my new job is about 5 minutes away from our old apartment and i think thats a huge reason why i cant get over it. Every day i walk past restaurants, the supermarkets, anything we went to together. I had to buy snacks for work today and just burst into tears in the fucking supermarket because we used to go there together. The people at work are always so appreciative bc i know the area so well but they dont know how much it fucking hurts me and its so stupid like. Should i just avoid that part of town forever??? No fucking get over it bitch like wtf its a fucking supermarket.

And it also hurts because i know i wasnt always perfect and there were many times i was super mean to him. But at a point i couldnt deal with his ADHD anymore and that sounds so shitty but im a super organised person to the point where sometimes i wonder if thers anything ocd related but i dont think so. In my head i swap between i have ocd, i have adhd, i have borderline, i have autism  - i have no idea whats wrong with me, but the way i feel cant be normal. I know this because the way i behave isnt normal, i know i can come across as really strange, i cant judge social situations well and often dont know how to behave. But i constantly criticised him for symptoms of his mental illnesss.

But i never physically hurt him, and that was the last straw for me, why i left. I dont know how u can do that to a person you love.

And im just mourning the life i thought i was going to have so, so, so much. I know on tumblr ppl somehow think youre brainwashed when you want a traditional marriage and kids and stuff, but i really thought that was going to happen in the next 2 / 3 years, thats how i planned my life since i was fucking 21 and i met him. And now im almost 27, and i cant even go on dates because i cannot bear talking to new people because all i want is a clone of him but better.

I know i will look back at this and think “u cried about THAT guy???” in a few years, because thats how its always been in my life lol (except for one relationship, but were still really really best friends). I always think afterwards i will never love someone that much again. But it hits so much harder because it was such a serious relationship lol i really wanted to marry him. Sobs lol.

[enlighten3d]

Hi sorry I know this might be really personal and you obviously don't have to answer if you don't want to but you post a lot about being aroace and I've been thinking about that for myself kind of a lot lately and was just wondering how you know for sure that that's what you are as opposed to not having found the right person yet kind of thing that people always tell you.

Again sorry personal absolutely don't feel pressured.

mmmm okay so! idm answering this, im happy to help (: but for claritys sake: i am asexual by definition, but i dont indentify as such! i only id as aromantic bcs thats the only indentity that actually feels important and like a part of me. might not make any sense but whatever lol

how i knew that im aro? i just. found the label, and was like, 'sure, why not.' and it stuck. its... for the difference between being aro and not having found the right person yet, its that, well. okay, so what if youre not actually aro? you do meet someone you love romantically even after youve ided as aro for years? cool, whatever, you can keep the aro label, or change it. or you never do fall in love romantically, and dont need to do anth abt the label.

what im saying is... mm okay label is a misnomer. i once heard someone say that labels are more akin to fridge magnets - you stick them on, and maybe they stay and you like how they look and make you happy. or maybe you stick them on and they look bad and you dont like them so you take them down. or maybe you stick them on and you like them for a while, but it starts feeling wrong eventually, so you take them down. labels - like magnets - arent permanent.

its impossible to really, truly, make a mistake in finding a label that explains your experiences. even if its wrong, there was smth that felt right abt it at that time. its a part of your journey. we, as people, are ever-changing - its literally impossible to know what will happen tomorrow, nevermind in a few years (sorry the isat reference is mostly unintentional).

so how did i know? i stuck the aro magnet on. and i like how it looks for now, maybe forever. maybe ill find the 'right one' or whatever, or maybe i wont. if i do, then whatever, down goes the magnet. if i dont (and i dont think i will, for the record! i dont have any Reasoning, its just... okay ill explain this next paragraph), then up there it stays. youre free to say youre aro for now and then change it if it ever changes. theres nothing stopping you, nonnie

as for yeah, whatever vague wording i can give to my reasoning, its... standard stuff, sorry. ive never understood romance? i think its completely fucking unnecessary and overrated. stupid, even. i straightup Do Not Get It. i forced myself to say i have a crush on a guy in gr4 bcs everyone else was talking abt crushes. decided i was romantically attracted to this girl in dance class bcs i liked her vibes. trying to conform to actually wanting romance when i just dont. dated this girl in gr8, and then when we broke up (i am bad at communication and unfortunately incredibly fucking clingy), i was like... 'huh, i didnt really feel that different about her than i did abt any of my other friends'. i just really really cared abt her and wanted to be close w her, and the only way i knew how to do that was 'romance'. but that wasnt it. found out abt aro ppl (forget how; memory is Trash), and was like 'oh damn, thats... that makes sense'. i definitely had a crisis and Logic but i do not remember that, sorry. all of this is pieced together from old text messages and half-remembered memories hajdjdzkzos

imo the concept of a 'right one' is pretty damn fucking stupid (/nay; at Society). 8 billion ppl on earth. im not going to find this hypothetical right one who can change absolutely everything about me and my identity. ive got the ppl around me that i already love. im happy w that. chasing after some hypothetical infinitesimal chance of a person whos Perfect for oneself is just a damn waste of time

so just... these decisions dont have to be permanent, nonnie. youre allowed to be wrong and realise that you werent actually aroace. youre allowed to be wrong. so if you want my advice? say youre aroace. stick the magnet on, see if it falls off or not. its still a valid and valuable part of your journey. youre allowed to be wrong. youre always allowed to be wrong.

i mean, afterall, how can one be sure that they ARE allo? that they WILL find that 'right one'? through experience. so fuck around, find out. stick that magnet on.

good luck (: i rly rly hope this is helpful and not just me repeating what youve already heard, sry for yapping so much LMAO. i have a lot to say

[screampied]

hii vegas, how was your day today? are you alright? i’ve been following you for some time, now, and i was wondering if i could ask you some questions. as a new author on tumblr, i’ve been growing a lot recently and it’s kinda scary. please, only answer if comfortable.

so, how long have you had this blog or started posting in it? how did you react to your first 1k post or those going even higher? hate messages affect you? did you ever went through writer’s block and how did you fixed it, if so? does posting ever started to feel like it’s a chore, and not a hobby?

thank you for your time, i hope this finds you well, xoxo.

( 🥯 )

hiiii bagel !!! 💓😽 my day was good ‘n busy i hope yours was okay. sure of course ask awaay

i’ve had this blog for about nine months now! i had it since like october / november but i started posting around late october ‘till the end of novemeber. i wasn’t rly as consistent bc i didn’t know what i was doing 🫡 i started posting frequently around maybe december. when my first post got 1k i was shocked bc i didn’t think people would like it :’)) it was a gojo fic i believe and it was also my first request from one of my moots (ily bella <3) but yah !! as of now i try not to pay attention to big notes bc it can interfere with the joys of writing. like, writing isn’t meant to be competitive

i do get hate messages 🧍it’s every once and a while though. well i wouldn’t say hate, more like really stupid asks. like as of recent. i never answer hate anons because to be honest i really don’t give a fuck. i’m just here to write and it’s never that serious and you’re not gonna disrespect me on my blog and my space. i rather let them talk to themselves instead of feeding into negative energy. people say lotssss of shit in my inbox that is mainly … not nice but i just block and move on. to deal with this—i’d say to just to block / delete and pay them no mind. i wish them well at the end of the day 🧚🏽‍♀️🧚🏽‍♀️ this is the internet and people are always gonna say the craziest things, but just ignore it! do you <3

i go through writers block all the time actually 🧎‍♀️to counter it, i just stop writing completely or read novels + that usually helps me. or i just sleep it off ‘n come back to it later. i try to avoid forcing myself to write while i’m on writers block because it’ll make it worse. but it’s all about pacing yourself !

it used to feel like a chore for me, especially a few months ago but now i write for myself! i find it easier to post without feeling pressured, requests make me really pressured but i answer them on my own time 🧚🏽‍♀️ plus, i don’t have a writing schedule because it wouldn’t feel like a hobby. i post whenever im motivated + feel like it !!! 🩷

[aalissy]

Social Media

Anddd here's day 6. A lil bit of a social media AU bc I'm always obsessed with reading them hehe. I hope you like it <3.

AO3

Adrien Agreste sat at his desk, the city lights of Paris twinkling outside his window. The soft glow of his computer screen illuminated his room as he scrolled through Twitter, trying to unwind after a particularly challenging patrol. As he glanced at the clock, a familiar profile picture caught his eye—a small, red and black spotted icon. Ladybug had just posted a new tweet.

Adrien smiled to himself and clicked on her profile. Reading her latest tweet about the successful capture of the latest akuma earlier today, he felt a surge of admiration for his partner. She always managed to keep the city safe, no matter how tough things got. He hesitated for only a brief moment before deciding to send her a direct message from his official account. 

@adrienagrestebrand: Hey, Ladybug! Saw your tweet. Great job earlier! How are you holding up?

He leaned back in his chair, waiting for her reply. It didn’t take long before his screen lit up with a new message notification. His heart pounded in his chest as his eyes roved over her words. Ladybug had actually messaged him! How crazy was that?!

@TheOfficialLadybug: Thanks, Adrien! I’m doing okay, just a bit tired. How about you? How’s everything?

Adrien’s heart skipped a beat at her reply. She was always so kind, and he felt a surge of affection for her. It still felt unbelievable that she had answered his random message. Though he couldn’t help but feel a small surge of jealousy at the thought that she might answer everyone’s messages. Shaking it off, he typed out another message.

@adrienagrestebrand: Same here. A little bit tired after school. Those akumas seem to be getting tougher! I’m glad you and Chat have each other’s backs. Need anything?

There was a pause, and Adrien imagined Ladybug on the other side of the screen, thinking carefully about her response. He hoped she knew how much he cared about her, even if he couldn’t say just how much he truly loved her.

@TheOfficialLadybug: Just some rest, I guess. But honestly, talking to you helps a lot. How’s school going?

Adrien sighed, thinking about the pressures of his double life and the demands from his father. It was always a delicate balance, but knowing Ladybug cared made it a bit easier.

@adrienagrestebrand: School’s okay. Lots of homework, but I manage. It’s nice to have this time to chat with you. Makes things feel normal.

@TheOfficialLadybug: I get that. Sometimes it feels like my life is split in two. But I’m glad we can have something like this. It’s our little escape, right?

Adrien’s palms tingled at her words. She had just called this their little escape. Could she really enjoy this just as much as he did? It seemed impossible. He typed out another message, eager to hear back from her.

@adrienagrestebrand: Yeah, it really is. We’re pretty lucky, aren’t we?

@TheOfficialLadybug: We are. Hey, I saw you posted about that new video game. How’s it going?

Adrien chuckled with glee. She had seen his post! She looked at his timeline! Sucking in a deep breath for courage, he responded to her.

@adrienagrestebrand: It’s awesome! You should try it sometime. Maybe we could play together?

@TheOfficialLadybug: That sounds fun! I’d like that. Maybe we can set up a gaming session soon.

@adrienagrestebrand: It’s a date! Well, you know what I mean. 😅

@TheOfficialLadybug: Haha, I know. Looking forward to it, Adrien.

Adrien smiled at the screen, feeling a warmth spread through him. Despite the masks and the secrets, moments like these made everything worth it.

Grabbing his phone, he stood up from his desk and flopped onto his bed. He kicked off his shoes, chewing on his lip as he typed her another question. He never wanted their conversation to end!

@adrienagrestebrand: I was wondering, what do you do to relax after a tough day like today?

The reply came almost instantly, and Adrien couldn't help but smile.

@TheOfficialLadybug: I like to sketch, actually. It helps me clear my mind. What about you?

Adrien's heart warmed. Sketching? That was something he hadn't expected. Maybe boxing or karate but not something like sketching.

@adrienagrestebrand: Sketching sounds nice. I usually play video games. It helps me to unwind. Do you sketch anything in particular?

There was a few seconds of bubbles as she typed back a response and he eagerly awaited it. 

@TheOfficialLadybug: Video games are fun too though honestly I haven’t been playing as much as I used to. I’ve been busy. I usually just sketch some different ideas I have for things honestly though haha.

@adrienagrestebrand: That’s really cool! I’d love to see some of your sketches sometime. I bet they’re amazing.

@TheOfficialLadybug: Thanks! Maybe one day. So do you have any hobbies besides gaming?

Adrien thought for a moment, his mind drifting to his piano.

@adrienagrestebrand: I play the piano. It's a bit of a family tradition. It's a great way to express myself.

@TheOfficialLadybug: That’s wonderful. Music is such a beautiful way to express emotions. Maybe you could play something for me one day?

Adrien's heart pounded. The idea of playing the piano for Ladybug made him smile.

@adrienagrestebrand: I’d love that. Maybe I could even give you some lessons sometime.

@TheOfficialLadybug: 😅Looking forward to it, Adrien, though I’m not certain how good of a student I’d be. I can be a bit clumsy.

Hah. Ladybug clumsy?! No way! He chuckled at the thought before typing back to her.

@adrienagrestebrand: I’m sure you’d be perfect!

They continued chatting, their conversation flowing effortlessly from one topic to another. 

@adrienagrestebrand: Hey, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m always here you know. Just a DM away.

@TheOfficialLadybug: Thank you, Adrien. That means a lot. The same goes for you. We all need someone to lean on sometimes.

Adrien felt a warm glow in his chest. Knowing that Ladybug was there for him, both as a partner and as a friend, made the challenges of his double life seem just a little bit less daunting.

@adrienagrestebrand: We really do. I’m glad we have each other, Ladybug.

@TheOfficialLadybug: Me too, Adrien. Sweet dreams.

Adrien logged off with a contented sigh, his heart a little lighter. As he pulled up the covers, he couldn’t help but feel grateful for the unexpected friendship that had blossomed between them.

Meanwhile, across the city, Ladybug—Marinette—logged off her own account, her heart pounding in her chest. Adrien had a way of making her feel understood and cared for. She closed her laptop and lay back on her bed, thinking about her secret crush on him. Little did she know, that the boy she admired from afar was in fact feeling and thinking about the same thing as her.

As she drifted off to sleep, she dreamed of a day when she could share her feelings with Adrien, unaware that he was dreaming of the exact same thing.

[nakedbibi333]

hey bibi I hope you’re still online and can help me relieve my worries if that’s alright with you bc ik my question is not guaranteed to be answered! but without spilling too much… tldr, i’ve been on loatumblr since the historic ages, the big affirming and void and now all the way to edward art, neville and focusing on feeling the wish fulfilled frequently. I educate myself on the law from them instead of tumblr posts but i wonder, if one is constantly returning to their imagination to feel and experience their desires as a present tense feeling, why has it not reflected? i’m making it my only job to feel fulfilled with the knowing the 3d has to reflect but why hasn’t it when I haven’t been focusing on time until now? (even though I will go back to imagination as god, after sending this as human me) I just wanted to ask I think this is the big one I’m worrying about

It's hard to say because I can't know exactly what goes on in your mind on a daily basis. I get a lot of questions like this of people asking me what exactly they did wrong when they feel they "failed," but it's not always easy to tell you a straight answer. A few reasons could be: a lack of persistence/brazen impudence, allowing the 3D to have more weight than imagination, and not truly fulfilling your desires.

Remember that you must remain persistent even when it feels like you "failed" or "missed your chance" to get your desire. If your desire hasn't shown up, remain persistent. If it seems like your manifestation failed, remain persistent. There is no failure. There are no missed chances. There will always be time. Self must be reflected. Keep. Being. Persistent. Never give up on any of your desires.

I want to expand a little on the last reason (not truly fulfilling your desires) because I think it could be an eye-opener for some people who are still struggling to see their desires reflected. You are the inner self and you dwell primarily in the world of imagination. That's your true reality. You are simply convincing yourself that you are solely the outer self, which is false. When you feel fear it's because you are tricking yourself into thinking that you are the outer self that feels powerless, weak, and limited. The inner self is free, but they delude themselves into thinking that they have to follow rules and that they don't have the ability to have, do, or be anything they want. The inner self tends to give its own power away. However, when following the law of assumption, we know that to get our desires in the 3D, we must experience the fulfillment of our desires in the imagination first (the 4D). Then, by identifying yourself with the inner self, you can actually feel the true fulfillment of your desires, which therefore allows it to be reflected in the 3D (because you finally got yourself out of the state of desire and into the state of your wish fulfilled). So, if you do not truly identify yourself with the inner self, you will still feel desire and keep yourself out of the state of fulfillment. To avoid this, all you have to do is identify yourself with your inner self and always fulfill yourself every time you feel desire. This will keep you out of the state of desire.

[tench]

*takes your shoulders and gently screams* I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

I don't rightfully know you. But I've been a follower since forever. I've never said anything but every time you share your feelings of utter despair I've always imagined just grabbing you by the shoulders and agressively shaking you to try and knock some sense — you are loved! You're on this planet with ppl who see you and wish you happiness! And you WILL one day get it in full! It'll happen, I promise you, you will one day get to make a cherry pie when it's all over and look back at your journey, treacherous and miserable as it is now, but you'll be Alive with Wonder and Joy at the very aspect of being able to experience contentedness.

this love i have for you isn't romantic in nature, but like, love in the English way; where i can love coffee and bees and the smell of lilacs and my friends and family. it all makes me happy and so i love.

seeing you post your stunning art makes me happy. I'd commission you a bazillion things bc I'm forever awed at your pen strokes — masterful and striking as they are. to support you would bring me joy.

knowing you're still kicking — trying, sure, makes me happy. knowing one person on this planet is still alive when they're struggling, oh so despairingly, that they still have a spark of hope, that act of courage and bravery makes me happy.

and so YOU. I love you. i will love you. continue to love you.

maybe this love won't help, maybe it'll freak you out, which, yeah, understandable. i think id be mind boggled by this messge too.

but i think this is just meant to say "I'm cheering for you, i believe in you, you have the strength — if you don't, you can use me to help pull you forward," if that makes any sense at all.

i hope you have a lovely night — especially if this was too weird. just. you got this. you can do it. some random guy on the internet thinks you can, and hopes you make it through alright.

I didn't want to answer, because I wanted to leave in my inbox to be able to easily see it again. But I did not want you to think you did something wrong or I didn't appreciate your message.

It made me cry, hard, and I can't thank you enough for your words. Thank you. I can't promise anything, as much as nobody can promise anything, but I'll try to keep going, hoping that you are right and getting back to your letter in my times of need.

[daz4i]

thank you! and yes ofc, any input is welcome! okay, so i've seen some people talk about how many fics get chuuya and dazais dynamic wrong, but i've not actually seen any specific critiques, so i was wondering if you have any tips to avoid, for lack of better term, to write one of the "bad ones"?

also, i don't have money for the light novels, is it generally frowned upon to write skk without having knowledge of how they are in the light novels? i don't if they're that different, but i've seen comments like "if you just read stormbringer, you'd understand" so just wondering if i'm missing out on A Lot.

and for fic posting, this is not that important, but is there some popular fic boosting tags if i wanted to promote it on tumblr?

oh these are great questions!! lemme try to answer it in an organized way (edit from myself after typing the answer up: i am so sorry for this monster of a post askjdfgh hope it's not too overwhelming 😭🙏)

skk dynamic:

one thing i think is important to keep in mind is that it has layers, and that they're not quite honest in their interactions. a good example for what i mean is like when they're rescuing q and chuuya talks about how he can't stand dazai, but then later when dazai is attacked by lovecraft chuuya is immediately concerned and runs after him to make sure he's okay, being shocked and worried when he sees his arm missing, etc. (dazai is even worse in that regard lmao)

i can speak on my own personal pet peeve with skk fics is where their personalities are flattened, and thus their relationship is as a result as well (for example, reducing chuuya to a tsundere, or making him stupid, while making dazai some dark edgelord etc) this can lead to missing one key thing in their relationship: they're equals

soukoku even just as a fighting duo isn't just "dazai thinks up strategies and chuuya fights", the whole reason they're considered unbeatable to their enemies is because they're both strong - they can both fight, and they're both smart and good at thinking quickly on their feet. it's just that chuuya is better at fighting, and dazai's strategies are more airtight. this way they're enhancing each other's abilities. so, translating that into their general dynamic is also important

another way in which they're equal that i think shows this last part^ even better, and smth that i think ppl tend to miss, is that dazai never really manipulates chuuya or forces him into situations he doesn't want to take part in - he always asks for chuuya's final word on the matter. chuuya follows his plans because he too knows they're likely the best option. this is how they maintain their trust in each other

(honestly the only time i think you can argue dazai tries to manipulate chuuya is in their reunion in the dungeon, but really it's more for shits and giggles on his end, no real malice, and chuuya probably knows that too, i think)

light novels:

first off!! even if you can't afford them, bsd-bibliophile has them right here!!! i really recommend checking it out :)

i don't think you HAVE to read them but like. it's good to know what happens in them at least generally, and it can definitely help the nuance of their dynamic. the sb comment is kind of right bc it helps figuring out one of those layers i mentioned in the beginning

i actually haven't finished strombringer myself hehe but one thing i got from it so far and from reading analysis of it (which can also help if you don't mind getting spoiled!) that i think is important, esp if you're writing about their mafia days, is that chuuya does hate dazai in the early stages of their relationship, but like. because he sees himself in him. and he sees despair he doesn't want to give in to. at least back then, dazai kind of embodies his negative thoughts about himself, even if not literally and just in his mind.

also on a more basic level both of them (tho esp fifteen) offer some shenanigans of them being silly teenagers. also dazai cringe compilation. actually this is an important part of it i think dazai should always be at least a little bit pathetic when chuuya's around (but that might also be just my own personal take :P)

tldr for the light novels thing, i think it really depends on what sort of fic you're planning to write. canonverse, and esp mafia days, i'd say it's fairly important. aus, not so much, but it can help. relationship explorations, probably. silly fluff or pwp, not really. yknow :?

posting:

hmmmmm i don't know any particular tags (except like, basic stuff, fandom / ship / main characters / "fanfiction" / maybe key tropes you're using? tho it's def not a must) but some general tumblr hacks:

posting at the right hours and days helps; around the afternoon or early evening in american timezones, on the weekends, is probably the best time to gain most traffic

use ao3's automatic sharing or post the fic as the link post format, rather than a text post or picture with a link inserted into the text. idk if it still exists, but it used to be that posts with links in the text would be hidden from search results, especially if you're a new blog (i think it was mostly removed but the new blog thing might still be relevant)

don't use swears and esp not "fuck" and its variations in the tags. hides posts from search results (i think "shit" and such is okay?? but i'm not entirely sure so. to be on the safe side, better to avoid) also don't use "nsfw" or any other possibly nsfw tags even if it's needed

speaking of. while it's probably responsible to use community labels. i'm p sure tumblr hides mature posts from search results 😭 i saw artists complaining abt their posts getting flagged and even getting shadowbanned over it iirc so. unfortunately it's probably better to avoid 😔 save the warnings for the fic itself

this might be a bug only i have lol but after making a post with quite a few tags, wait a few seconds before refreshing the tab or moving to another page. i noticed that otherwise it can hide the post from everywhere except your own blog (it might also be only relevant to image posts? but again, to be on the safe side, it won't hurt to do it)

okay i think that's all. i will say that everything i said abt skk might be just my own personal interpretation hehe so don't take my word as gospel!!! i'm sure there are many other fans and writers who view them in an entirely different light, and at the end of the day, it's up to you to choose your own version to write

and with that, i'm also turning this post to my followers, if you want to add anything, or if you have links to good analysis posts that could answer one of these questions, please go ahead! :D

as for you anon, i wish you good luck with writing, and mostly i hope you have fun with it!!! :3 just bc you see some of us complaining abt fics sometimes doesn't mean you should walk into it scared, actually please don't!!! you can do whatever you want really, and i'm sure there will be an audience for your work no matter what you create! <3

[brainrotandbarnacles]

Break of a New Dawn

a post-game Final Fantasy XVI drabble

Subject: Clive Rosfield x Jill Warrick

Content: fluff

Warning: spoilers

Summary: Clive is eager to spend some time with the Hideaway's newest arrival, and Jill takes the opportunity to give him some news.

Note: VERY rough drabble/one-shot bc these two give me a lot of feels and I needed to get them out. If you happen to read this please feel free to leave your thoughts and/or criticisms, hope you enjoy!

When Clive came to Edda's quarters, he was surprised to find the new mother nowhere in sight, but instead Jill holding the hideaway's newest arrival, swaying and humming to him softly. "Jill?" he asked, keeping his voice soft. Jill looked up to him with a smile. "Where's Edda?"

"She's resting in the infirmary," Jill answered in a hushed tone. "Did you need her for something?"

"Uh..." Clive faltered nervously. "Well it... I just..."

Jill tilted her head and shot him a knowing look. "Or... did you just want to see the baby?"

The edge of Clive's mouth tugged up in a sheepish smile. Jill chuckled softly and gestured for him to come closer. He closed the distance on shaking legs and looked down at the baby cradled in Jill's arms. Jill gave him a small nod, and Clive took the cue to place his hand on the baby's tiny head. Even through his gloved hand, he could feel how soft and warm the infant's head felt.

Something between a laugh and a gasp escaped Clive as he was overtaken by wonder. "He's... he's just beautiful," he breathed out. "I can't remember the last time I got to be this close to a baby. Maybe not since Joshua."

Jill was completely taken in by the look on Clive's face. So soft, and full of marvel and joy. It took her back to that night on the beach, how he'd looked at her when she'd smiled and gave him her everything. To see such a look on the face of the man she loved with all her heart truly was a gift, and one she planned to treasure always.

"Would you like to hold him?" she asked.

Clive looked up at her in disbelief. "Do you think it would be alright?" he asked after a moment.

"I'm sure Edda would have no objections."

A smile broke out onto Clive's face, but then it faltered, and he looked down towards his stone arm. Understanding his plight, Jill placed a hand on his shoulder and led him gently to sit in the chair by the baby's crib, then helped position the newborn securely in Clive's hold. The baby's head rested in Clive's right palm and his right forearm supported his little body, while his left hand crossed over to act as a border to prevent the baby from slipping. Once the baby was secure in Clive's arms, Jill knelt down beside the chair and watched Clive's face light up once again.

Clive couldn't keep the smile off of his face. He kept looking back and forth between Jill and the baby, eyes sparkling as if he were about to cry. The baby nuzzled his face into Clive's chest and stretched his little legs as he yawned. "He's perfect," Clive breathed in a shaky voice. "So small and warm, and so precious."

Jill's heart sang watching Clive unravel before her. It was hard to believe that after everything they've been through, something so small and innocent would be what could make him crumble. Plus, there was just something about seeing him with a baby that made her insides flutter. Taking a breath, she placed a hand on Clive's arm, preparing herself.

"Clive? Do you... ever think about having children of your own?"

Again, the question caught Clive completely off guard, and he looked at Jill with wide eyes. "I... I never thought about it, if I'm honest," he confessed, looking back down at the baby. "I guess I never really had time. Between Joshua, the Mothercrystals, Ultima. I was always so focused on what had to be done, I never stopped to think about what I wanted for my own future. I wanted to make a world where we could live on our own terms, but never thought about what terms I wanted to live by. It seems like everyone needs so much from me that to have a family of my own almost feels... selfish." Clive started stroking the side of the baby's head with his thumb. "Yet if I'm honest... if I could have a family with you, Jill? I couldn't think of a greater blessing than that."

His gaze drifted back to her, seeing a smile had broken out across her face. "What about you though, Jill? I know you said you wanted to see the world and spread your wings. Would you want to find somewhere to make a home and start a family, beyond the Twins?"

Jill found herself unable to speak, overwhelmed by the moment. He couldn't have said more perfect words to her if she'd written them out for him to say herself. A laugh escaped her, and she placed a hand over Clive's on the baby's head. "Yes," she answered. "Nothing would make me happier. Though we might have to move quickly if we're to do just that."

Clive's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean, Jill?"

She just looked into his eyes, smiling as her eyes brimmed with tears. "Clive," she said, her voice breaking a bit, "I'm with child."

Clive seemed to freeze, his eyes growing wide and his mouth hanging open. He tried to form words, but he could barely form a coherent thought. "Jill?" he finally managed to sputter out. "You're-- I'm-- we're--!?" He slid out of the chair on to his knees in front of Jill, the sudden movement causing the baby in his arms to squirm and whine in protest. Jill quickly moved her hands up to Clive's arms to help steady the baby, letting out a soft chuckle. She could only smile at him and nod. Clive started laughing in exuberant joy and disbelief, then leaned forward and captured Jill's lips in a kiss. Jill raised a hand to his cheek and returned his kiss, her heart swelling with the same joy as when she had found out herself.

"Oh, Milord," a voice sounded from behind Clive. He and Jill quickly separated and gave Edda sheepish smiles. She just smiled at them both. "I'm sorry, I just did not expect to see you here," she said to Clive. Edda approached them and they stood to meet her, Clive lowering himself to allow her to take her son back. His arms and chest already felt cold from the baby's absence, but he seemed all too happy to be reunited with his mother. "How was he, Milady? Any trouble?" she asked, turning to Jill.

"No trouble at all," Jill answered with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Wonderful, thank you. I'm grateful for a rest, but I've missed him." Resting her baby's head on her shoulder, she nuzzled her cheek against him before turning back to the couple. "I hope I wasn't interrupting anything important."

Clive and Jill looked at each other, smiled, and Jill rested her head on Clive's shoulder, interlocked one arm with his, and placed a hand on his chest. Clive clasped his free hand around Jill's hand at his chest. "No worries, Edda," he said, turning back to the young mother. "We were just discussing plans for the near future."

Edda looked as if she were about to ask further, but the baby started fussing in her arms. "Oh, it's time to feed him. Milord and Lady, if you would--"

"Say no more, we'll be on our way" said Jill, and she and Clive began making for the exit. "Don't hesitate to ask if you need anything."

Later in their chambers, Clive and Jill stood on the balcony, gazing out at the horizon over the water. Jill's head rested on his shoulder, and Clive leaned his cheek against the top of her head. He had his arm wrapped around her waist, holding her close. "You seemed rather taken with that little boy," said Jill, glancing up at him with a smile.

Clive let out a bashful scoff. "I must have looked quite a fool."

"Not at all. You were almost as adorable as he was." Jill stepped in front of him, resting both her hands flat against his chest. "Excited for one of your own?"

Clive looked down at Jill-- her beautiful grey eyes, her starlight hair, her captivating smile. She was everything to him, more than he could ask for and more than he ever deserved. He thought about everything they'd been through together, every battle they'd fought, every scar they'd gained. All of it had brought them to this moment, this blessing. Their future was theirs, and soon they'd have a family of their own to brighten their path. "I can't wait."