#genuinely think they would. heal each other AND make each other worse

[bizlybebo]

thoughts on birdbolt/women in stem (jay x ensa) smiles normally

BIRDBOLLTTTTTTT. I FUCK WITH THEIR WHOLE STEAMPUNK/INVENTOR AESTHETIC SOOO HARDDD. GODDD IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR EVERY WLW SHIP

[hairmetal666]

Eddie's supposed to be writing. The guys, they all agreed they'd each come to practice armed with two whole new songs they could pick from to add to their set list at the Hideout. And he's got his pen, and he's got his most recent trusty Composition Book, and all his lyrics are fucking bullshit about golden tanned skin and honeyed eyes and tracing constellations in freckles and moles, pathetic lines about being twisted in bed sheets, and the hopeless love he found himself in.

For the fifth time in an hour, he rips out the offending page, crunches it into a tight ball, and throws it across the room.

He can't write about Steve Harrington for the rest of his life; spend his nights aching for the boy who established himself as a fixture in Eddie's life and then just disappeared.

The worst of it--the very worst--is that Eddie knew better. Steve was never his, not in any real way, no matter how many times they fucked. He's Steve Harrington. Straightest guy in Hawkins. Popular. Rich. Whole fucking life laid out for him on a silver platter. And Eddie fell for him. It's the Munson curse, he supposes; always wanting what you can't have.

It started the way these things usually do, "got any weed?" and "come back to my place, Harrington" and "I got this stupid job at the mall, meet me there?" and lying "hey, guys, can't make band practice, gotta help Uncle Wayne" and "Munson, I really want--can I kiss you?"

In every other fantasy Eddie's ever had, it ends there. Steve gets his kiss and they never see each other again. But Steve Harrington--he's full of surprises. It catches Eddie off guard, makes him want, makes him trust. Because it's not just kisses. It's hands and mouths and "anything you want, Eddie. Let me make you feel good."

Maybe it wouldn't have hit so hard--maybe Eddie could've stopped from falling--if Steve hadn't been so good. Bitchy, sure, but genuine and kind. Had this whole gaggle of junior high kids he babysat, like what the fuck. Would hang out with Wayne and shoot the shit about whatever sports nonsense was on tv. Harrington never was as mean, as spoiled, as superficial as Eddie suspected.

Then Starcourt. That's when it all changes. Steve stops coming around then, in the aftermath. It hurts, but Eddie tells himself it's for the best. Now, he knows it would have been.

Two weeks with no contact, and Steve shows up at his door in the middle of the night. Eddie winces at the healing bruises and cuts on his face, can't imagine how much worse they were to start. He steps aside, lets Steve in, plans to say that he can't be whatever they are anymore.

Steve kisses him. It's a hot, needy thing, wild with teeth and tongue, nothing like before. Eddie is helpless to it, helpless to the way Steve grinds against him, already hard. He should slow it down, check-in that Steve is in the right headspace for this, but Steve is moaning low in his throat and Eddie can't think.

They're in Eddie's bed and Steve says, "fuck me, Eddie?" and Eddie says "are you sure" because he can't stop himself. Steve rolls his eyes (beautifuly bitchy), says, "I need to feel you inside me, baby."

How can Eddie say no?

Eddie's never done this before, but it doesn't matter. It's everything--Steve is everything--he could ask for.

The next morning, he expects Steve to be gone. Thinks they'll never see each other again. But he finds Steve in the kitchen, in his boxers and Eddie's Iron Maiden shirt, making eggs and talking to Wayne like it's the most normal thing in the world.

The next month and a half are the best of Eddie's life. He and Steve spend more time together than they do apart. Nights at Eddie's trailer, in Eddie's bed. Days lounging at the Harrington pool and driving around the nothing that surrounds Hawkins. Sometimes they'll stop in the middle of nowhere, climb on top of the van, and just--be. Steve takes his shirt off, and Eddie traces their names in the sun-soaked freckles, thinking maybe he really gets to have this, have Steve.

It ends as quickly as it started. One morning in September, Steve is cupping Eddie's neck, pulling him in for a goodbye kiss, saying, "sorry, baby, gotta get home for my parents. I'll see you later tonight, yeah?"

Except Eddie doesn't. Eddie doesn't see Steve that night, or the night after, or the night after that. He stops coming around and all Eddie is left with is a broken heart and these piss poor excuses for songs.

He rips out the latest page, waxing lyrical about the wonders of August, and time slipping away, and the boy he'll never forget. Crumples it into a ball and bats it into a pile of junk accumulated in the corner of his room.

Eddie needs a break.

He flies into the living room, snatches up his keys from the floor by the coffee table, and flees his house and all those memories of Steve. It's not like he has anywhere specific to go, so he drives around town, with his windows down and his music up.

His tires screech as he rounds the corner to the video store and arcade. He's not planning on stopping, but honestly, maybe a few rounds of Space Invaders is exactly what he needs.

The van hasn't even come to a stop in the parking spot when his eyes fall on Steve Harrington. He's standing in the middle of the parking lot surrounded by a gang of kids (including some of Eddie's new little sheepies) and Robin Buckley. Steve wears a sunny yellow sweatshirt, tight jeans, and his hair is perfectly coifed, falling in an elegant wave. His hands are on his hips, mouth and brows pinched stern. He's gorgeous, perfect.

It's an assault, an attack, Eddie's entire body shakes as the months they spent together crash over him. He has the van in reverse before he consciously thinks to do so, flooring it out of the space hard enough to burn rubber.

The noise, the speed, it draws the entire group's attention to him.

His eyes meet Steve's.

Time stops and so does he, idling in the middle of the parking lot. For a second, one moment in time, Steve's face falls. His mouth loses that grumpy pinch, his eyebrows drop, his beauty transformed by grief, by fucking longing.

Steve takes a step forward, and Eddie hits the gas, van screaming out of the parking lot. He watches the group shrink in his rearview mirror, sure that he imagined the sorrow in Steve's face, anyway.

They're nothing to each other.

Never were.

By popular request: Part Two

[recareels]

✩°｡⋆ 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐞! ⋆｡°✩

anonymous wrote: how would the boys react with a reader that likes to nibble them?

characters: ajax/tartaglia, kamisato ayato, thoma, alhaitham

notes: aaah this was really fun anon thank you for your question! happy valentine’s day everyone!!

warnings: 18+ minors do not interact, biting, bruising, blood, minimal prep, daddy kink, sadism, dom/sub power/relationship dynamics, a mention of dacryphilia in ajax’s, reader is female

words: 1.5k

✧˖°. 𝐚𝐣𝐚𝐱 | 𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐚 .°˖✧

ajax has a huge biting kink and absolutely will bite you back at least twice as hard. he likes to make it a game of sorts; who can bite the hardest? who can stand it the longest? who will give in/give up first? who will finally cry out in pain? who can conjure pretty little crystalline drops of hedonistic agony in the other’s eyes, adorning thick eyelashes and soft cheeks? who can break skin and draw blood first? who can leave the biggest, deepest, harshest bruised bite? and when it’s finally over, when he inevitably comes out on top, emerges as the winner, he likes to compare battle wounds, making little comments in that soft, sweet, awe-stricken voice before taking polaroids of the prettiest marks—immortalizing them for safekeeping, kept between the pages of an old, worn journal—and dating them with little notes in that signature spiky slanted handwriting, thoughts scrawled in black sharpie across the bottom border.

it’s routine, ritual, at this point, for him to take his time appreciating each and every wound he’s carved into your flesh, tracing the indents of his teeth, all thirty-two of them, with his index finger in the most loving, gentlest caresses. lips journey across the map of his creations with docile little kisses—ghosts of adoration that skim and stroke your marred skin, flesh still oozing crimson and flowering a scattered collection of oceanic bruises, all violet and charcoal and deep azure—before he dips into them with his tongue, laving over them and filling the tiny craters with viscous saliva, sticky and thick.

but despite his inherent sadism, he is an absolute king at aftercare, tending to both your wounds and his own with the utmost devotion as murmured praises pour in endless streams from his lips. the sentiments wash over your body in seamless conjunction with his hands, purifying you in every sense, his words like a soothing salve as his fingers work diligently, cleaning and bandaging, patching up and healing your wounds.

✧˖°. 𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐭𝐨 .°˖✧

he laughs, low and smooth and drenched with condescension, as if your sharp teeth sinking into his flesh are nothing more than the tickle of a feather, as if it’s so cute that you think you can hurt him, that you think you can have any affect on him at all. you should know better, really; ayato is masterful at controlling his emotions and reactions, and the chances of conjuring a genuine response that isn’t carefully curated and constructed is slim. you know better than to break the skin, though, know better than to ever leave a mark darker than something that won’t fade within fifteen minutes, that if you do it’s an instant spanking for you—or worse, depending on the severity of the wound.  

it’s cute, he tells you, that you want to mark up Daddy so much, claiming your territory and stamping him as yours. but he promises you can do that in other ways that don’t induce public speculation on what he does in his personal life, he’s sure.

you agree, for the most part, hating the impermanence of bruises and bite marks irregardless and preferring something that is much more concrete, something that makes a statement, bold and firm and uneraseable. but this doesn’t stop the edges of your teeth scraping along his skin—his jaw and his neck and the exposed notches of his collarbone—because it was never really about that, was it?

no, of course not. because you only get this way, suddenly voracious and starved for his flesh, suddenly compulsive and desperate to gnaw on his bones, when he’s busy, when you’re sat on his lap and snuggling into his chest after begging and crying and swearing you’ll be good, when he’s entirely disregarding your presence in favour of the thick manila folders on his desk and the weathered documents between his fingers.

you both know he could ignore it if he wanted to, could resist giving into your pathetic little demands for attention with the utmost ease, unbothered and unfazed by the little pricks of pain your nips and nibbles conjure, but that isn’t very fun.  

a hum of mock contemplation vibrates against his ribs, his voice deep and decadent, dark and dangerous as he murmurs out a warning. “do you think it’s wise to bite Daddy while he’s trying to do work, baby? you promised you’d behave if he let you stay with him, but you’re not behaving in the slightest, are you?”

no, you’re not, and he’s going to fucking do something about it. because that’s what good Daddy’s are supposed to do, isn’t it?

✧˖°. 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚 .°˖✧

moans, loudly. he tries to resist how fucking good it feels, the way it makes his stomach swoop and flutter, the way it makes his cock twitch almost violently, and in a sweet, shaky voice he attempts to coax you out of it, each gentle request met with a sinful little giggle, bubbly and warm as sunshine as it seeps into his skin. each cute little bite is sealed with your tongue, wide and flat against his skin as it drags across the rapidly developing mark, painting each in a stroke of glistening saliva. chills skitter across his flesh with every precious laugh you huff out, your amusement cool against his wet neck.

thoma lets you have your fun for longer than any of the other men would, because he has such a difficult time firmly saying no to you and asserting his authority; because he only ever wants to give you the very best, make you the very happiest, almost desperate in the way he shreds himself into curls of tinder and sets himself alight in his haste to give into your every wish and whim.

that doesn’t mean he’s invincible, though. sure, he’ll allow such behaviour to continue for as long as he can possibly stand it, except you keep pushing and pushing—ruthlessly, ceaselessly, keen to see just how far you can prod before those flames of desire licking at his tummy and up his throat finally erupt into an untameable blaze—and eventually, Daddy has to do something about it.

because he’s only human, after all; there’s only so much teasing a man can take—only so many little nips of your canines, only so many kittenish laps over minuscule injuries, only so many bounces of your cotton-clad pussy on his clothed cock in time with each of your giggles—before he’s finally rucking up your skirt, hem bunching around your waist, eager fingers tugging your panties to the side and shoving his cock into your ill-prepared but slick cunt. a heavy sigh of bliss wafts across your face as he bottoms out, bones melting beneath the heat of his scorching lust, body relaxed, relieved, as the fire is fed. 

✧˖°. 𝐚𝐥𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦 .°˖✧

he’ll let you have your fun for a little bit, gnawing away on his neck and shoulder and collarbone, head tilting slightly to allow you more room to work as incisors nibble along his jaw—gentle little nips that are nothing more than teasing, lacquered in shimmering spit only a moment later. however, as time goes on, the force and strength and pressure of your bites increases, becomes harder, heavier, hellacious—he knows this, of course, expects it every time, because he knows you inside out, back to front, his favourite storybook to study, a living, breathing, constantly evolving tale edited by him, and there’s only so far he’ll allow you to go before he decides it’s time to put you back in your rightful place, restore you back to your rightful state.

you know when he’s getting close to snapping, too; can feel it in the way smooth, sculpted muscle begins to tense and coil beneath you, can tell by the way his cock begins to swell, slow and steady, hard and hot and heavy as it presses into your core, rough denim gyrating in micro-circles against soft, lace trimmed cotton. but it’s when his breath stutters, fragmented to sharp little shards that catch in his throat after a particularly vicious bite, that you know he’s finally cracked.

then he’s flipping you over, body trapped between his and the couch, so quick it knocks the breath from your chest, so quick your mind can’t even comprehend it before you’re ensnared beneath him, sharp hipbones snuggling between plush thighs as a growl ripples his ribs. sharp ivory slices into your flesh, strong jaw flexing as the hinges clamp shut, locked in place until his teeth thoroughly etch his name across your body in deep, dark indents that’ll take over a day to puff up, blooming a tiny grotesque garden of molds of each tooth; rigid little graves and groves in shades of violet and navy. his cock throbs against you the entire time, rutting into your core in barely controlled movements, resistance and restraint stretched into thin taut vines. but it isn’t until you’re whining out his name, high and pitchy and broken, stuffed full of spit and straining with sobs, that he finally unlatches his mouth from your neck and gives you what you really want, thick cock tearing you open as he buries himself in your cute little hole and fills you to the hilt, head pressed firm and tight against your cervix.

[mayxo-hxh]

okay 2 questions....

do you think its more likely that illumi kills hisoka or hisoka kills illumi and how do you think it will go down?

what would you WANT to happen with one of their actual deaths?

You're not really going to like my answer here because it completely negates both questions.

I don't think either of them will die or kill each other.

I think it's natural to think so considering the current setting of the arc and what was revealed and their characters, but how I see it, their relationship has proven to be very nonsituational. As in, they aren't really hanging out and helping each other just because they happen to need each other here and there. They hang out and help each other because they unironically see each other as friends.

Illumi had no reason to help Hisoka out in the hunter exam, yet he did anyways. And they stayed together most of the time. Illumi had no reason to help Hisoka out during the yorknew dilemma, yet he did anyways. It's not even in his area of work to just disguise as people for a few hours before leaving. He's an assassin. Hisoka didn't have to help Illumi out during the election arc, Illumi was more than capable of finishing this entire mission alone. And yet he did anyways.

Goes without saying that Hisoka constantly calls Illumi his friend behind his back and also did so in front of him, and Illumi made no move to correct him.

So I can't really imagine, with all this said and done, that they'd actually have a reason to hunt and kill each other on the black whale. I understand the doubts with the stuff Illumi said in their marriage chapter but im still much more inclined to believe theyre working together against the troupe, as that would make much more sense. They've done nothing but work together against everyone in the entire anime and both Illumi and Kalluto worked against the troupe with Hisoka in yorknew after all.

I also feel like this is a general Hisoka misconception but-- Hisoka doesn't want to die. I feel like people think he hired Illumi to "hunt him down" because he wants Illumi to actually kill him and I have to disagree. Yes, it does speak volumes about what Hisoka thinks of Illumi, as in he truly is capable of killing him because theyre equals. But does Hisoka actually want Illumi to kill him right now? Negative.

Some people even say Hisoka has always wanted to go out in a huge fight or whatever-- I genuinely have no idea where tf they get that from lol. Hisoka brought himself back to life for a reason. He wants to live. He never planned on dying against Chrollo. He never ever plans on dying against people he fights. If Illumi and Hisoka were to ever truly fight, Hisoka would never let Illumi kill him without giving it his all. He WILL fight for his life.

And the same goes for Illumi. Illumi doesn't want to die and has no reason to want to actually die by Hisoka's hand. He has duties and responsibilities as a Zoldyck eldest and he's not going to throw it away in the name of... twisted love? lol

And I think lots of people find all of this hard to believe because theyre very used to villains getting bad endings or getting "what they deserve" in anime which is completely fair but let me, no, ALLOW ME to point you to one of my favorite villain groups in hxh that had a good ending despite being complete pieces of shit that would've deserved worse than death.

Genthru and the bomber team.

Genuine shitty people that scammed lied massacred people. They only cared about each other a lot but saw everyone else around them as lower than useless scum. They would've deserved to be left for dead. And yet, what happened? They were healed and they lived. They went on with their lives. Togashi could've very much made Gon just kill genthru to show how powerful he is and his sense of justice blablabla but that just isn't what the anime is about. Everyone in hxh is morally grey. At the end of the day Gon, Killua, and Bisky just wanted the cards from genthru and his friends and moved on.

A lot of people fail to realize this when it also comes to Hisoka and Illumi. They can just get a good ending like that. Do they deserve it? No. Does it matter whether they deserve it or not? Nope! This is hunter x hunter. And as far as I see it, its an anime about the power of platonic and romantic love. And Hisoillu are a specific type of love that is going to get a happy ending despite not even remotely deserving it. We got the meruem and komugi sad love ending. And we're getting the gay version of it except theyre unredeemable and horrible and they still get to be happy. Those are my thoughts.

Also in general I just genuinely cannot see Togashi continuing the anime without his favorite babygirl Hisoka being alive. Like even when he killed him off he revived him like 2 pages later in the same chapter he can't stand the idea of even letting his death marinate for a single chapter lmfaoooooooooo

[bayfuzzball7050]

My favourite jjba character(s) from each part bc I know it will be more appreciated here than in a Reddit thread

I’ll use this header from now on to yap

Phantom Blood: Speedwagon. Regardless if it’s a whole meme in the community, o genuinely think it’s very brave of him to follow along in an adventure where everyone has powers but he doesn’t. He just raw dog’s every supernatural event and tries his best to be useful. It’s a noble thing.

Battle Tendency: Definitely Caesar Zeppeli. A much more complex and interesting character than his predecessor (William Zeppeli, I mean). I loved his design, personality and charisma regardless if I couldn’t resonate at all with his backstory. I also really enjoyed his rivalry/friendship with Joseph. I’ve always loved the smart/snarky guy x himbo dynamic!

Stardust Crusaders: I love kakyoin with all my heart and soul and I will never shut up about it. I resonated deeply with him since I know personally what it is like to be alone. I like how Araki portrayed his loneliness in a ‘im different than everyone I know’ way where he couldn’t relate to people the way others that. That childhood monologue— god! It hit so, so close to home. I couldn’t help but cry when the scene came up. That is when I realized how much the crusaders mattered to him. A bunch of people ‘like him’ and it’s such a sacred feeling when you’ve been feeling ‘off’ all your life. I also like that he’s always giving little fun facts he’s a bit like yapdollar

Diamond Is Unbreakable: Okuyasu. No question needed. Unlike his brother, Okuyasu is a very kind soul that has never killed anyone (at least on screen) even when he has endured so much abuse from his brother and father alike, something that would ‘justify it’ if he did became an evil character. He stopped looking for a way to kill his father because he can see the good in people and ‘accept them for who they are’. I can’t help but feel a deep sympathy for him. He had taken what his brother had told him about being better off dead so personally to the point where his first question after being healed by Josuke was (paraphrasing bc I don’t remember well) was something like “why did you save me when it would’ve been easier to let me die?”. Josuke came just in time to make him realize how much he actually mattered so he could evolve into the little goofball we all know and love.

Golden Wind: Giorno. I think most people who call him a ‘boring’ or ‘plain’ character often seem to forget that, of course, Giorno will not be a charismatic, sociable, talkative, — joseph — kind of guy. He was severely emotionally and physically neglected in his childhood to the point where showing emotions became useless since he knew he’d be left shaking in his craddle. From this emotional neglect, he started looking up at a gangster as some sort of parental figure. Someone who showed him basic human decency. Later, we get to see his ingenuity in battle. But I think one of the reasons he was so clever in life or death situations was because he has been in a ‘fight or flight’ mode since a very young age. He isn’t even ‘bottling up’ his emotions, he had repressed them deeply inside his brain to survive.

Stone Ocean: The main three. But mainly Foo Fighters bc they’re so silly >_< and I can’t begin to imagine how marvellous it has to be to, one day, become a sentient being

Steel Ball Run: I can’t quite decide between Gyro and Johnny tbh. Johnny is a character who had been always pampered with his ‘rich life’ and was then shocked with the fact that once you’re not useful, or worse, become inconvenient for people, they stop caring about you. I often think about how bad his father was with him, not only rubbing Nicholas’ death all over his face rather often, the whole “God, you took the wrong son” page or just how he never went by to visit him when he had just gotten crippled. It was just plain cruel. Also when they followed Hot Pants to a church and Johnny had to relive some of his most traumatic life experiences again and still try to win. It was one of the best arcs in sbr imo.

Gyro, on another note, wasn’t a son of a wealthy family but had to carry the weight of generations and generations of knowledge on top of the family profession on his shoulders, having to execute a child. He’s also a silly goofball with his jokes that make little to no sense and him trying to explain the spin to johnny in life or death situations always has me cackling up ngl.

Jojolion: I haven’t started to read JOJOLION, but from what I’ve seen, Gappy seems to be a silly goofball who lacks direction and I love that in a man. Also that he’s a 2 x 1 combo, literally.

Jojolands: I haven’t read jojolands either, but good lord they sold me Dragona and Paco when I heard ‘transgender’ and ‘laburantes’. Plus everyone from the Jodio team also seems to be lacking direction and being a pinch silly

[fuedalreesespieces]

Inuyasha x Kikyo, Sesshomaru x Kagura

getting my rating out of the way: TWO OUT OF TEN BABYYYY!

here's the thing - i think inukik's dynamic is interesting because of the restraint. the distance between them despite their perceived kinship. souls brought together because, in kikyo's words, they both know loneliness.

but that isn't really true. inuyasha is alone, kikyo is lonely, and it's this disconnect that makes them incompatible. on the surface, they share many traits that stem from similar issues. both are distrustful, both have to hide their "true selves" under masks of either prickly disdain or stone-cold apathy. and the deal they make about the shikon jewel is really where it clicked for me how much they just don't work, because before kikyo can get to know the real inuyasha, beyond pre-conceived notions, he has to strip away a part of himself. he has to become human. and a huge, huge reason as to why inuyasha is the way he is is because he's a hanyou. who will he be after a transformation like that?

inukik shippers like to prattle on about how inuyasha and kikyo are super tragic and deserved better, but can we actually think about what that means? what would their relationship be like if things had gone according to plan? you have inuyasha, whose just given away a crucial part of himself, simultaneously tentatively happy to start a life with someone but also completely lost because he doesn't know how to be a lover, how to be a husband, hell, he barely knows how to be a friend - is that what they once were? friends? he doesn't know how to adjust to humans who would have once shouted and thrown things at him. he feels the fleshy things around his ears and wonders how he can still possibly feel deaf when he has them. he hates how he can't see his own hands in the dark. he hates the unspeakable and unexplainable human aches.

and kikyo is free. she still heals people, of course, but she no longer has to deal with the burden of the shikon jewel. and now she has a companion to share it all with. he's always so frustrated, and she can't understand why beyond the fact that he's a little weaker now. they're so careful with each other, too. they didn't know how to hug or hold hands or touch when they were meeting alone back then, so they don't know how to kiss, either, as husband and wife.

i can't see them fighting. i can't see them bickering or having a playful spat and that, to me, is a problem. one of the reasons why i love inukag so much is that we see them fight all the time, but they always come back stronger regardless. their feelings don't waver. and because of the honesty in their arguments, they learn each other's tells and ticks. the small details. they aren't afraid to get into a debate, because their love is strong enough to withstand it.

when i think of inukik, i think of walking on a wire.

besides all this conceptual stuff, we do get inukik in the show, after her forced resurrection. and this is where you totally lose me. any potential interest i could have had (and there was none to begin with) goes down the drain with lines like, "your life is mine." no. NO.

genuinely she made his survivor's guilt so much worse by reinforcing his negative line of thinking. and then at the end when he's holding her dying body, lamenting that he couldn't do more for her, she's like, "it's okay. you came." THATS WHAT HES BEEN DOING THIS WHOLE TIME??? no. no. this is too irritating lmao

i don't hate kikyo (most of the time) i just think a) inuyasha deserves better b) they are nooot compatible. also, most inukik shippers i've met turned me off from the ship even more.

anyway inukag and kagkik are a thousand times more compelling >>>

rating: 10/10 no notes

okay, but genuinely, i love sesskagu. i don't talk about them a lot, but they really are one of the more interesting pairings imo. opposites in many ways, but also very similar. sesshomaru, so certain of whom he is, and kagura, still trying to recover her body and identity for herself. sesshomaru, who travels the lands at his own pace, and kagura, who wishes to be free as the wind. sesshomaru and rin, kagura and kohaku. both haughty and powerful, but with contrasting personalities. wouldn't hurt to give sesshomaru someone (who would bully him) to banter with either.

also, i have a super specific headcanon of kagura teaching rin wind magic....i just need more rin and kagura interactions please im begging.

anyway 10/10. sesskagu sepremacy.

[loganofthenorth]

Ight Folks. Know what time it is?

Catra in my Shera Swap AU, that’s what time it is.

(For those that don’t know I’m making a Shera Swap AU where Catra joined the Princess Alliance and became Shera instead of Adora. I’m designing the characters in Hero Forge since I can’t draw.)

Anywho here’s Catra

(Full body versions and more info under the cut. Warning for spoilers in case I write this as a story.)

So in this AU, Catra discovers the sword and is chosen by it. Basically Light Hope was originally looking for Adora, but determined that she wouldn’t be able to activate the weapon when the time came. So instead she chose Catra.

At first Catra, like Adora, looks a lot like she did in cannon:

(Forgot to give her freckles in the full body pictures but you can see them in the zoomed in face one. Also gave her more accurate hair in that one..)

But as time goes on, Catra is taking better care of herself. She learns proper hair care for her hair type, wears better quality clothing, eats better quality food, etc. This, along with a healthier personality due to healing from trauma, changes her appearance as years go by.

Still has ripped jeans though cause she’s very physically active.

Probably would have scrapes on her knees and elbows honestly.

After joining the Princess Alliance, Catra is basically adopted by Castapella and lives in Bright Moon.

Scorpia is the Princess of a nearby Kingdom and visits regularly since she was the one to bring Catra to Bright Moon (and she has no other friends)

Catra is personally offended that Scorpia has no friends so they go visit the other members of the Princess Alliance under the guise of Catra needing to meet everyone. (Really Catra’s mission is to make them respect Scorpia because she doesn’t expect to be accepted by the Princesses herself.)

Catra is very confused when the Princesses (and Prince in Sea Hawk’s case. More on that later.) accept her and respect her as Shera. She develops an understanding that she’s only accepted because she’s Shera, meaning that whenever Scorpia accepts her regardless of if she can use her powers or not Catra is incredibly confused.

I’m probably going to have a lot of fun writing Catra as a good guy because ‘tsundere Girl Boss that heals and becomes a good person’ is way more fun to write than ‘tsundere girlboss that gets worse and becomes a horrible person but don’t worry she’ll get better later’.

That’s just my opinion.

Also Entrapta becomes her sister when she switches sides and is also adopted into Brightmoon by Castapella. Which is great because I think Catra is the only one that’s actually genuinely nice to Entrapta in the Horde. Entrapta makes sense. She’ll be your friend if you help her with her science stuff. Catra finds Entrapta’s unique mindset refreshing. They also sass each other off a lot due to being very intelligent but in different fields. (Catra is emotionally intelligent but scientifically she has difficulties. Entrapta is the other way around.)

Castapella and Catra bond over their mutual hatred of (and secret desire for approval from) Shadow Weaver

Catra will cry a lot in this AU because she isn’t used to receiving love and acceptance

Every fight with Adora will consist of her trying to convince Adora to switch sides. Whether that be through reason, force, threats, or flirting.

Catra is a gay disaster and will complain about it constantly to anyone that will listen.

Bright Moon’s guards are often turned into her personal sound boards.

Castapella spoils Catra rotten and is very desperate for Catra’s approval. Catra is extremely confused by this until she realizes that Castapella had lost all of her family and friends to the Horde. They form a very strong bond from this and Catra vows to figure out what happened to Bright Moon’s former rulers.

Catra becomes extremely loyal as time goes on. Anyone she deems a friend she refuses to leave behind regardless of the cost. Because of this she will get extremely frustrated whenever she has to choose between two friends.

She’ll start accidentally calling Castapella Shadow Weaver sometimes but Entrapta assures Castapella that it basically means Catra is accidentally calling her Mom.

Catra will proceed to try and murder Entrapta.

Glimmer is the only person on Adora’s team that Catra will actually try to kill. The others she’ll hold hostage but she’s too conflicted to actually kill them. She refuses to hurt Adora but will lash out at her in self defence. When she leaves lasting injuries on her former friends she proceeds to shut down in her room for days and have guilt induced nightmares.

Catra has nightmares very often. Perfuma and Castapella will probably make dream catchers for her to try and prevent them.

Catra and Mermista become great friends. I think she’ll also get along well with Frosta.

Catra will see Sea Hawk as very annoying and complain with him alongside Mermista. However he grows on her and if anyone hurts him she’ll hurt them back. Also she becomes his wingman when she realizes Mermista has a crush on him.

Perfuma and Catra won’t get along at first. It will take a long time, even after she and Scorpia get together, for them to get along. Perfuma will help Catra a lot with healing once they are on good terms, but her attempts to help Catra only aggravate her before then.

Also here’s full body pics of Catra’s Shera Form since I forgot to add that

No I did not have the “Mommy, sorry. Mommy? Sorry…” sound playing in my head while making this and I’m offended you would ask. 😤 /j

I’m also thinking that at some point near the end of the story, Catra turns into some monstrous version of Shera due to a mental breakdown and some fuckery going on with Etheria’s magic. This will probably be what prompts Adora to get her own Shera form so she can help Catra out of that state.

The new Shera form she gets after the weapon is destroyed will be a bit more true to her like Adora’s was, but I haven’t designed it yet. I saved my progress with each of these designs so I’ll probably make more designs for this AU in the future.

I think her outfit in the new Shera Form will have something to represent Scorpia, Entrapta, Castapella, and of course Adora. Maybe she’ll have some red scales in her armour that represent Scorpia, gears and some technical features to represent Entrapta, stars for Castapella, and maybe Adora’s iconic jacket.

I think that’s all the info I have for now. Next up will be Scorpia!

[vrsenus]

When i say i wanted Rapple friendship to end up with Apple working for forgiveness i don’t say it simply to be cruel towards Apple, it just annoys me how apple has done and said many hurtful things yet never truly apologized for any of them or faces consequences if i had to do smt about all her relationships it would be as simple as this.

With briar after thronecoming she ends up with a New friend circle and barely hangs out with Apple, this leaves apple to be confused and hurt they never truly addressed this and are still on good terms. I say this because i think after thronecoming briar would genuinely realize Apple’s toxicity and start distancing herself a bit by the end of DG which will be her full on realization she and briar will finally sit down and talk about it, they end up becoming more closer than before and are willing to heal their fragile relationship.

With Raven after DG raven doesn’t fully forgive or trust her, raven is VERY valid when feeling all of this considering Apple’s betrayal was very hurtful, They do still talk i mean it’s impossible for them not to but their friendship is more fragile and the moments they had before are very short compared to before. Also silly ass hc of mine but Apple has a crush on raven which just makes all of this worse! But AHEM! Moving on from that Apple should have faced the consequences and not immediately be forgiven, Raven has the right to be upset and make apple work for her forgiveness. Eventually Raven comes through and forgives her they are alright and all but their relationship is very fragile compared to before. But the love and care they have for each other is 100% there.

I love apple as a character but i believe that she should have gotten proper consequences and shifts in her relationship instead of being immediately forgiven, It’s annoying how everytime she screwed over raven had to be the one who feels guilt and is painted as equally bad and at the end has to save Apple’s ass

I also think it made more sense for raven to stand her ground with Apple considering she always had done that with apple.

Let apple suffer the consequences, simple as that.

[yanyanderes]

yan!2012 turtles falling for (y/n) while they’re at april’s farm house.

(y/n) is probably april’s childhood friend, having met each other while she was at her farmhouse for vacation. they live on their own farm and keep april’s house and farm in good shape while she’s gone.

after the kraang invasion, when april, casey, and the turtles go to the farmhouse for shelter, (y/n) gets excited seeing april drive over, but doesn’t greet her immediately. instead, they gather the best, freshest food they have and show up for a surprise visit!

and end up seeing april with a stranger with a hockey mask and four joann turtles, all with various degrees of injuries.

obviously, (y/n)’s freaking out, like, who are these guys? what are these guys?? until april calms them down and introduces the strangers to each other. (y/n)’s still in shock at april’s strange friends, but since april likes them, they decide to get to know them a bit more. they show them the ropes of taking care of the farm, all the do’s and don’t’s, and they start getting closer and warm up to each other.

they help leo with his recovery. they remind him to take it easy and that it’s ok to rely on others for help. they help him get around while his leg heals, and even with his injuries, they help him stay active with exercises like sit-ups that won’t make his condition worse.

they help raph vent his frustrations. they let him rant and yell, they’re able to calm him down if he starts going too far, and they occasionally spar with him to help him blow off some steam. sure, they don’t have much battle knowledge, but they’re strong and can stand their ground.

they show genuine interest in donnie’s inventions. they’re fascinated with how much this teenager can do with such limited materials, and is always asking questions, wanting to understand more about his machinery, and occasionally points out a few things donnie would have never noticed without someone else pointing them out.

they have fun with mikey. they come up with all sorts of activities that don’t make too much of a mess and doesn’t get him scolded by his brothers, but if he’s feeling extra chaotic, they let him crash at their farmhouse.

they all start getting closer, and soon, the obsession starts kicking in. the turtles start doing things to impress (y/n) and/or earn more time with them. mikey starts dragging them with him all day everyday, raph does a lot of heavy lifting for them, donnie is always making something new to impress them, and though leo hates his injured leg, he has to admit having (y/n) dote on him for it is quite nice.

not to mention, when they train together, they’re a lot rougher. it’s most notable with raph, but it’s present in all the turtles.

time flies, and suddenly, it’s time for the group to return to new york. (y/n) starts saying goodbye, when leo asks them to join them, explaining that they’ll need all the help they can get. the turtles had been subtly manipulating april and casey into thinking the same thing for the past few days, so the turtles, casey, and april combined is enough to peer pressure (y/n) into coming with them.

despite that, they rarely gets a chance to shine, since they’re always with one of the turtle, who always tell (y/n) to play it safe. when the invasion is over and done with, and they say they should start heading home, the turtles insist they stay. they should take it easy and rest! it’s been a rough few days!

who knows? maybe they can convince (y/n) to stay. if they can’t? well, they certainly have other ways of making sure they won’t leave.

[traumasurvivors]

This is an article I wrote on my site! But if you want to read it on Tumblr, you can access it after the short excerpt and below the read more.

"When it comes to trauma, it is not uncommon for a lot of survivors to experience what is known as trauma imposter syndrome. This is when a survivor invalidates themselves by saying something like “my trauma isn’t so bad, other people have it worse than me.”"

There are a few reasons why this occurs, including but not limited to:

Avoiding Feelings About the Trauma

If a survivor believes that someone else has it worse than them, this may allow them to deny their feelings about what they went through. It may also allow them to focus on someone else’s pain instead of their own. Denial is something that a lot of survivors experience because trying to deal with the feelings of trauma may be overwhelming, terrifying and overall hard to cope with.

Survivors may also cope by trying to be thankful it wasn’t worse. Thinking that they were “lucky” on some level may help them to see the situation in a different light, or it may make it easier to bury the feelings they aren’t ready to feel. Trying to frame their trauma in a positive light may make it easier for them to deal with.

(For a lot of survivors, this is a step in the healing process. Everyone heals differently. If a survivor is using trauma imposter syndrome to cope, it is not up to anyone (except perhaps a therapist they are working with) to try and tell a survivor how they should be reacting to their trauma.)

Avoiding Seeing Their Abuser in a Bad Light

If a survivor loves the person that caused the trauma, it may allow them to rationalize that person “not being that bad”. Having an abuser who you care about can be complicated and confusing. This does not mean they have not done something wrong. And it definitely does not mean you can’t love someone while still being hurt by them and holding them responsible for their actions.

Conditioning

A survivor may believe their trauma isn’t valid because of things they have heard from their abuser or others (even people trying to genuinely be helpful). They may be pressured and conditioned to believe their feelings about the experience are wrong and they are not entitled to those feelings. They may be told that it should only be for people who went through “real” trauma. They may be pushed by other people to “look on the bright side” and otherwise minimize what they went through. This type of conditioning can make it harder for a survivor to accept their trauma and heal from it.

Trauma imposter syndrome can cause issues outside of invalidating a survivor. One of these issues being that just because a survivor is saying their trauma “wasn’t that bad,” it doesn’t mean that they will still not experience symptoms related to their trauma. This could mean that they think something is “wrong with them” and they may seek out the wrong type of treatment to handle the symptoms or even no treatment at all.

It’s important to note that there is no magic scale that trauma falls on. What makes trauma traumatizing is not the “severity” of the event but the emotions that we experience as a result of it. A traumatic event is one that causes harm, whether that be physical, mental, emotional, spiritual or any other kind of harm. Two people can go through very similar traumas and react in very different ways (or not react at all), and each of their responses are valid. One of the things that makes trauma so complex to talk about is that there are no universal responses to trauma - every person’s reaction is different.

When it comes to trying to find the validity in your trauma and challenging trauma imposter syndrome, I recommend trying to imagine your trauma happening to someone else. If they told you about it, it seems unlikely that you would say, “Oh, that doesn’t sound like a big deal,” or, “Well, other people have it worse, so you shouldn’t feel so bad.”

To use a similar example: Let’s say you have your house robbed, and a week beforehand, a friend of yours had their house burn to the ground. It would be normal and reasonable to think, “Well, at least I didn’t lose as much as they did.” It is also still reasonable to feel upset that you were robbed.

Someone else’s experiences do not negate nor invalidate your own. You can acknowledge other people’s experiences while still remembering that what happened to you should not have happened to you, and your feelings about it are still valid.

Your trauma is valid.

[thewayuarent]

Mew, Ray and self-sabotage

Okay, let’s talk about Ray and Mew situation.

I’m actually not surprised AT ALL because of course those two idiots are going to jump on each other for all the stupidest reasons and of course they won’t be good. But I love it for them, honestly. They need that experience to move on. And their reasoning I called stupid a second ago? I get it, I truly do.

Mew. I mean, it’s kind of obvious that Mew uses Ray to get over Top, right? But why Ray? Cause he’s heartbroken and wants someone who loves him no matter what and who will choose him over everyone and everything and Ray is just that person? Yes.

Is it because he knows that choosing Ray of all people will hurt Top more, just as Top choosing Boston hurt him? Yes!

Is it because of Mew hates losing control? Yes. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that Mew loves Top and genuinely hurt by him cheating. But I can’t stop thinking about that line

Mew hates the fact he was lied to. That he believed someone only to be proven naive. It makes him feel stupid. It makes him lose control. He feels like he has no control over Top because, well, he loves him.

With Ray though? It would never happen. And not only cause Ray being whipped over Mew to an unhealthy level. But because Mew doesn’t love him (and they both know it).

He said “You never hurt me once” and I think: really? How? Maybe not purposely, maybe not by his actions towards Mew, sure. But Ray’s behavior? His addictions? His self-sabotage? Why those things don’t hurt Mew? The reason: Ray is just not right for him and he knows that.

And while Mew does care about him as his friend, it doesn’t hurt him on the same level, cause it has nothing to do with him. And they are what, in a relationship now? And what Mew does? He’s adapting Ray’s behavior: his style, his attitude, him drinking and going crazy - everything.

But he still has all the control - because it easy to have control when feelings aren’t in a picture.

Do I blame Mew for using Ray? Honestly, no. Ray knows exactly that Mew doesn’t love him and he’s obviously fine with that on some surface level. Because I think Ray uses Mew as well.

Ray. So, beside the obvious reason that Ray loves him for years and of course takes his chance, I think there is one more reason for Ray choosing Mew over Sand so quickly. And the reason is his addiction. And relationship shift he has with Sand in this episode.

We’ve seen before that Mew talked with Ray about his addiction, sure. But never did anything about it. He never tried to actively stop Ray.

We’ve also seen before that Sand was fine with Ray drinking and having drugs. As I said in my other post, Sand unintentionally supported Ray’s addiction.

But he’s not anymore. He talks about it with brutal honesty.

He’s taking real actions now to stop Ray from drinking.

He called Ray out on his behavior and he actively tries to help Ray.

But the truth is, Ray doesn’t want help. He doesn’t want to heal at least for now. He denies having problems.

So who will he choose between Sand - telling him to stop and trying to help with that - and Mew - entering his “daddy girl” era and supporting his worst habits? (The answer is: of course he will choose someone who is at the same page with him instead of someone calling him out)

Loving Mew is easier. Being with Mew is easier. Because no matter what Mew won’t love him back. And while it hurts it also means that there is no reason to try. Ray doesn’t need to be better, or get better for Mew (and he doesn’t ready to do it for himself by that point). There is no challenge.

So they are so going to help each other to ruin themselves. It’s actually good to know that there is someone who possibly won’t let them do it, for better or for worse. Or, well, at least they’ll try to.

Sand while being pathetic and Top while blaming Ray for Mew’s life choices but nobody said they will be good at it so.

[kogratorm]

Okay, listen.

We are all deeply saddened by the situation lurking over our cubitos, but let me explain why Q!Roier's reaction is understandable and genuine. Despite his hurt caused by Q!Cellbit, I don't believe he truly meant what he said.

From a realistic standpoint, it's completely natural and not at all unreasonable to feel angry if someone from your family (especially someone you're close to) is murdered. EVEN WORSE, BY YOUR GROOM. The situation itself is incredibly absurd and it's completely valid for Q!Roier to feel the way he does as a real person.

We all joked that Q!Roier would be his fiancé’s apologist, but it's valid and real that he didn't. However, when he said "Te odio" (I hate you) in that moment, he did mean it, but not in the way everyone is interpreting it.

He hates that Q!Cellbit initially lied, whether out of fear or not.

He hates the feeling of being betrayed by Q!Cellbit, someone he placed trust in, much like he did with his friends (Q!Spreen, Q!Missa, and even Q!Quackity), as well as Cucurucho.

He hates that the story is being retold.

He hates being the one who's traumatized every time; he has experienced it multiple times, so it's only natural for him to react defensively, saying things without thinking, to protect himself.

I would even dare to say that the presence of Q!Quackity might have triggered memories of the past situation with Q!Spreen, regardless of whether Q!Quackity was actually trying to help them this time.

Does he hate Q!Cellbit?

Perhaps. Right now, he definitely hates him. He told Richarlyson that if he were to send an elegant (vent) mail, he would only say hurtful things. Because he IS in fact hurt, and that IS valid.

However, the real "hate" here is directed towards the pain he is once again enduring.

Q!Roier is so traumatized that he's already accepting Q!Cellbit as just like the others, not wanting to hear anything he has to say. To be fair, it's difficult to listen to someone who has taken the life of someone you cared about.

Unlike the others, Q!Cellbit told the truth and sincerely apologized right away when he found the courage to do so, despite being advised otherwise.

He was afraid, but he still spoke the truth.

He did it because he didn't want their marriage to be built on a lie, not when it was already heading in that direction.

If only Q!Roier knew how abnormal it is for Q!Cellbit to tell the truth and how much he would have preferred to lie his way out of it.

But he didn’t.

Q!Cellbit choose to not hold on that lie. He is fully aware that his actions were unforgivable. He doesn't expect forgiveness from Q!Roier.

bicrysis @ Twitter:

They love each other deeply, they are hurt by the mistakes they made and the damage it brought, but the love is still there. Just because Q!Roier isn't as much of a hopeless romantic as Q!Cellbit doesn't mean his feelings are any less valid. It doesn't mean that he didn't love him and doesn't continue to love him.

It is exactly because of this enduring love that the hurt runs so deep.

The depth of their love intensifies the impact of the current circumstances, making it all the more heart-wrenching. The realization that someone Q!Roier cared for, someone he entrusted with his heart after everything he went through, could commit such a grievous act... It cuts deeply into Q!Roier's soul.

But, the same love that hurts so much, might guide them through the turmoil, offering a chance for forgiveness, understanding, and ultimately, redemption.

In the midst of this tragedy, the strength of their love remains an anchor, a glimmer of hope that refuses to be extinguished. It is a testament to their resilience and the depth of their bond.

And that gives me hope. I can, indeed, see hope in that.

But only after everything that needs to be hurt is hurt.

And everything that needs to be healed, is healed.

[...] Love can be good, it can be bad, it can be hurtful, it can be joyful. Love is a compilation of every feeling a human is going to feel in their life.

[lovemyromance]

I feel like something Gwynriel’s don’t understand that a lot of long time (and some recent) SJM fans understand is fandom spaces and coexisting, they also lack being able to understand something I, as an avid consumer of various contents and media with traumatized characters (because that’s a commonly used plot device for backstories or to drive the plot forward) is that a lot of content creators like authors make the trauma a character experienced vague unless their recovery is meant to be the plot like with Nesta- so characters like Lucien, Rhys and Gwyn all have a trauma and it’s left vague on how they recovered so you the consumer can see your experience and your recovery in them otherwise it leaves the content creator open to criticism from a sect of their audience who experienced that sensitive topic- which they wouldn’t do if they themselves haven’t experienced it. Now, Gwynriels completely disregarding Gwyn’s trauma is outrightly wrong, their ideas of her and Az take a trauma survivor and forces her into intense sexual situations, sometimes extremely intense sexual situations with someone she doesn’t have a relationship or chemistry with. They also don’t understand Elriel’s analyzing Gwyn as a lightsinger and/or her friendship with Nesta and Emerie isn’t hate, it’s analyzing the text of a story- personally I can’t stand Gwyn and hope the three of them get lives outside of each other like they deserve but Gwynriel’s can’t fathom the phrase “two things can exists at the same time” Gwyn can be a traumatic SA survivor and an annoying person (to people in the fandom)- i’ve never seen an Elriel criticize or hate Gwyn because of her trauma, just that they don’t like personality or her relationship with Nesta and Emerie or that she seems self serving, Gwynriel’s need to understand their ~little nymph priestess who can do no wrong with her pliant bones and singing~ can be both a trauma survivor and an annoying person/shitty friend. They don’t cancel each other out and personally i’m worried this will get worse if Gwyn is a lightsinger in the next book because of the lack of understanding that Gwyn can be multifaceted, like previously stated- a trauma survivor and an annoying self centered person (in my opinion) I also loved the theory that Elriel is similar to Orpheus and Eurydice which supports Gwyn being a lgbtisnger because Eurydice was lured into the woods by a Nymph (Elain hasn’t met Gwyn and seems to be aware of Gwyn’s powers- the headache powder and earplugs) where Eurydice was bitten by a snake and taken to the Underworld and brought back by Orpheus, but Cauldron forbid Gwynriel’s get reading comprehension and understand that an Orpheus and Eurydice retelling would be so fucking cute, like Feysand and Tamlin being a retelling of Hades and Persephone. (Sorry this was long, a lot of Elriel blogs I follow don’t have asks on, for a good reason, but i’ve been sitting on this for a while <3)

I also really don't understand the Gwyn fascination. Here's why, in 3 parts:

1. Gwyn is very much a background, minor character. Could she one day become a main character? Sure. But right now, I would not consider her a main character. I mean, I barely even consider Amren or Mor main characters anymore, and they're part of the IC.

2. SJM isn't going to write an entire book about a minor character's "healing journey" after SA trauma. She just doesn't do that.

3.SJM is an entertaining writer, but she's not very complex in her ideas and character building. All her characters have trauma, but it's often just vague and more of a check the box thing. Like maybe she just has a character outline template like:

Character Name:

Gender:

Goal:

Trauma/Harrowing backstory: ✅

Genuinely, she uses trauma like people use sad backstories on americas got talent or something to get the golden buzzer 😭😭

I think honestly her most complex character was Nesta, and she did a great job with showing her trauma (which wasn't just vague SA but a combination of things, which made it more realistic). Even if I wasn't a fan of how Nesta's story ended with her giving up her powers, I understood why SJM wrote it that way.

But Nesta was a main character. It made sense her trauma was explored more and her healing journey was a focus.

Gwyn is literally not a main character. She is Nesta's friend. Like Emerie is also Nesta's friend. Emerie arguably also has a lot of trauma, but I don't have high hopes that SJM will explore that Illyrian backwards society either. It's all just a means to an end to her. She's not out here writing a healing journey for every faerie in Prythian.

People are always quick to vilify Elriels for saying Gwyn isn't a main character, and acting like we're blaming it on her trauma. Or acting like we think Gwyn is a threat to Elriel 🤡 They're out here claiming to everyone that "Gwyn is going to get a story! Her story isn't over yet!"

I'm sure we'll see her in some capacity in the remaining series, but I doubt she's going to get an entire book focusing on her "healing" (whatever the fuck that means). SJM isn't going to write an entire book about a minor character's healing from SA. Like I'm sorry, but literally every other character in her books has some sort of SA/abuse in general type trauma.

People have literally just latched onto Gwyn because she's pretty, determined, nice, and juuuuuust vague enough that they can use her as a self insert.

She's not a main character right now. And we can sit here and argue that "Oh she might be soon!" but then we could do that for everything.

I could say Koschei is Azriel's mate and people can argue saying that's ridiculous and I can just counter with "Oh maybe not right now but there's definitely some foreshadowing that they might be mates someday."

I'm not wasting time having discussions about what is not in the books currently.

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Rose, Lemon and Berry from the HC ask game with all three of your boys <3

Thank you for requesting, dear anon! I hope you like what I came up with :)

Rose: What part of falling/being in love do they get the most joy out of?

Ahhh this was a hard one to fill but I really enjoyed it :) I wrote 2 things for each because I’m indecisive! 

Frank

There’s so many things that he enjoys about being in a relationship, this man is not looking for simple notches on his belt. (I know he has had one night stands but CMON y’all. Taking Beth’s kid out for breakfast? If the Amy stuff never happened, he wouldn’t have left.)

I think he enjoys two things most: having someone in his life to protect and take care of, and being able to imagine a future again. 

Frank is obviously an Acts of Service™️ kinda dude, but like he clearly enjoys doing things for others just because! 

If there is a way he can help someone, especially someone he cares about, he will. I think it’s just as much to make him feel good as it is to make you feel good. He wants to do something kind with his hands rather than cause more hurt. 

Also, he just loves being a husband and having a family. (Helping Sarah and the kids, taking Amy in, it’s so clear he wants the family thing again)

I don’t know if this is a consequence of his own tragedy but he’s so willing to play the father figure. I don’t necessarily think he’d want to have more kids of his own, but I think domestic life with a significant other would be so enjoyable for him and allow him to heal. 

Matt

Companionship and trust. 

This is absolutely a symptom of his trauma but he is so overjoyed to have someone who actually enjoys being around him. 

He cannot understand why, but the fact that you keep coming back despite all his flaws makes his heart happy every single day. 

He just enjoys the idea that someone out there is thinking about him, waiting for him. 

Also, the idea that someone trusts him wholeheartedly after finding out what he can do and what he’s done, he can’t fathom it. And once he’s obtained it, he could cry. He’s not used to someone having so much faith in him. 

Sure, you worry about him, but you still want to be with him despite his work after hours. It’s more than he could ask for. 

Mikey

Having someone to care for him and expose him to life outside of his family. 

It sounds really selfish, but we all know he’s anything but a selfish partner. 

It’s been so long since comfort was something within his reach and you just make it seem so simple. Every time you wrap your arms around him, it feels like his knees might give out. 

It’s like you can read his mind, you’re always there to hold him but you can tell when he needs space. If he’s not ready or is unable to talk about something, you never pressure him

It’s a genuine love he hasn’t felt in a long time. 

And the weight of the family business gets heavier by the day, so having someone who isn’t wrapped up in all that constantly is such a breath of fresh air.  

He gets caught up in celebrating the little things with you. Like a good cup of coffee or a pretty sunset. 

Lemon: What is something seemingly inconsequential that can put them in a bad mood for the rest of the day?

Frank

Missing breakfast. 

I think on some level he’s used to it, living in strenuous conditions overseas for so long and everything, but it never fails to piss him off. 

This man is hungry all the time. He’s not picky, but food is a must. 

He also thrives on a strict routine. 

So missing the very first meal of the day is just that much worse than any other meal because it also throws his routine completely out of whack. 

He will be so grumpy, drinking his coffee on an empty stomach with a scowl firmly planted on his face. 

I think he’d be easily appeased though. If you brought him takeout or a snack, he’d get over it pretty quickly. 

Hangry Frank, my beloved. 

Matt

Unseasonably bad weather. Especially snow and big storms. 

He can sense it coming, but that doesn’t make it any less shitty on his senses. 

Snow makes things muffled and I would assume rain is just a lot. If it’s loud to someone with normal hearing, it must be unbearable to him some days.  

As an autistic person, rain, wind, and snow are just the fucking worst to be out in, even for a short little walk to work. I imagine it would be similar for Matt. 

He spends the rest of the day so miserable because of the cold or his damp clothes and it just ruins everything. 

He would definitely give you the sad puppy eyes when he got home and just open his arms for a hug. 

His bad day would be forgotten if you wrapped him in a soft blanket and pet his hair. Hair pets solve most of his problems. 

Mikey

Being forced out of bed urgently. 

This one is a lil generic but hear me out. 

I feel like Mikey’s morning routine has become a little safe haven for him, and it’s a huge indicator of his stress levels as well as a designated time for relaxation so he doesn’t trigger a seizure. 

If he wakes up late or is immediately forced to handle some family BS, it just immediately forces him into an anxious spiral about his own health. 

If it does end up causing a seizure, I think his self-consciousness and justified grumpiness would last the whole week at least. Poor thing. 

I think some comforting actions that he’d appreciate would be assisting with things he didn’t want to do the rest of the day? Maybe refilling his meds or making/ordering food. 

He’s absolutely a quality time and acts of service guy, so showering him with attention and helping him out however you can would definitely get him through his bad mood. 

Berry: What makes them happier than perhaps it should? Do others know about it?

This is peak HC, outta left field shit. But I am so confident about them 😂

Frank:

Seeing a dog get really excited over something silly. Like chasing their own tail, or seeing a shadow. 

Frank just enjoys dogs and their innocence so much. Anytime he sees one of them get genuinely excited for next to no reason, it brightens his day. 

I think very few people get to see Frank’s real smile but his partner definitely would. And he might not verbally express how happy dogs make him, but it wouldn’t be hard to figure out. 

Matt

This man enjoys hearing the birds in the morning. 

This is absolutely me projecting bc I love looking at birds but they have such beautiful and unique sounds, but I think he would love distinguishing between them. 

Any day he gets to walk past a green area with some songbirds is a good day. 

I think he would definitely share this with someone he cared about, but he might have to work up to it. (Y’all know how he is with vulnerability.)

Mikey

Little things that make Michael happy? Romance novels and soap operas

They’re so cheesy and he loves it. His life is so dramatic that sometimes it’s nice to just be dropped into a whirlwind love story that moves at lightning speed. 

Not to mention the drama in soap operas far outweighs his life. At least he’s never fallen down an elevator shaft!

I think he’d be too embarrassed to tell his SO but would love to read/watch with them if they asked.

[coff-in]

HIII ITS ⭐️ ANON AGAIN!!!!

I'd like to request a Reader who is Ashleys twin x Ashley and Andrew were she's worse than Ashley (to an extent) like we're she'd basically bully Andrew but in a loving way y'know?

Ashley and Reader grew up differently, Reader was Non verbal for most of her life (only in child hood), she also was a bit more nicer and accepting but acts like Ashley when it comes to Andrew. Reader would have a bunch of friends but she counts Ashley has the bestest friend of them all

This is after the sacrifice. Readers gift is regeneration or super healing but comes with the cost of needing to eat human flesh or else she black out and devours someone even if it is her beloveds. Also she would say the most out of pocket stuff

For example were Andrew would TRY to assert dominance but would get absolutely flamed by reader, she'd say sum shit like "I am starting to think your not the top...your like at the way bottom, like your the dirt me and Ashley walk on."

Reader would also be a biter too. Andrew probably has a faint scar from her biting him.

SORRY IF THIS IS TOO MUCH 4 YOU

notes from coff-in: :( i'm sorry this took so long!! that's on me, sincerest apologies ⭐️ anon.

[fem] reader-insert, brief NSFW mention (the word sex comes up like twice), incest (due to the NSFW mention)

i remember jumping on top of this older guy in elementary school because i liked him and he told me off by saying "people don't bully the people they like." this is the same with [reader] and andrew except andrew lets it happen because he doesn't wanna deal with [reader] pitching a fit later at home when he denies her. [reader] biting is something he'd have to teach her how to curb, though, especially once they get older and people start getting the wrong ideas... he'd let her bite him at home though. ashley doesn't mind the biting at all and may even bite back. so what if people look at them weirdly? this is how they show love to each other! who cares what those fucking hussies and whores think anyway?

one thing ashley does mind is [reader]'s friends. there's a deep possessive jealousy that courses threw her when she sees [reader] with her friends. she'd tell [reader] that they only hang out with her because they're a bunch of fucking floozies that are using her! they don't care about her like leyley does or like andy does! and of course [reader] would listen to leyley, because she's her best-est friend, her #1!

andrew would get pissed off at [reader] back/shit talking. "you're the fucking dirt me and ashley walk on" and he'd just grasp her face like he did ashley on the bridge in decay and whisper to her "you wanna fucking try me?" god the hate sex would go crazy... the thing is, it might not even be hate sex per say. i doubt either of them genuinely hate each other but they just can't be honest about their feelings. andrew constantly denies and deflects his feelings while [reader] shows her attraction by bullying, belittling, or biting him. though if she's like ashley in the way she acts then she's pretty open with her attraction/attachment to andrew, maybe it's just her insecurity that flares up into violent aggression.

[reader]'s gift of regeneration would... be a bit of an issue. i think andrew would like to stop killing people if only because it could cause issues down the line if they get caught. i think ashley is all down for carving humans for dinner. there's definitely a small argument between them whether or not they continue their group cannibalism or they just kill for [reader]. i could even see them trying to make a deal with the entity to get rid of the "black out at eat the nearest human" part of the gift/curse if not all of it all together. like, sure it benefits them in the short term but what about after killing their parents and getting new IDs? it'd be kinda suspicious that these new neighbors just move in and then suddenly people start going missing. it depends on how often [reader] has to feed, too. maybe they could keep some (hu)meat in their freezer.

i wonder what andrew and ashley would taste like... i keep thinking salty. idk know why. maybe due to sweat or smth

----

coff-in

[shenlis-spear]

THE LEGEND OF SHEN LI 与凤行, 2024

⇢ starring: zhao liying, lin gengxin

If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. (I'm talking about The Legend of Shen Li)

Let me preface this by saying I'm biased. And it's been a million years since I tried to put my thoughts into writing so this is gonna be all over the place and long-winded. And probably wouldn't make any sense. So here it goes.

I really enjoyed The Legend of Shen Li. Do I love it? With all my charred heart. Do I think it's the best drama this year? It's still April. It's hard to say. Are Shen Li and Xing Zhi the best power couple? This shouldn't even be a debate.

Honestly, I didn't even plan to chase this drama while it's ongoing because I binge watching drama is what I enjoy best. However, I was bored. And The Legend of Shen Li's trailer looked interesting. And my heart still needs healing from the mess of an ending that is Princess Agents. I needed closure. So I started watching the drama, and boy oh boy did it drag me down one hell of a roller coaster ride of emotions every single night. (No, I'm not complaining.)

However, before I talk about the things that I really loved about the drama, I have some things to say about the stuff that kind of irked me. Because no drama is perfect (unless it's Nirvana in Fire).

So let me get started on the things that I feel like the drama could've done better.

Musical scoring - the OST's? Chef's kiss. However, they way they're putting music on the scenes are a hit and miss. Most of the time it just distracts me from the scene and I just get bored with the mv-ish scene. I wish cdramas especially custom ones would stop this. I don't need 5 mins of the leads staring at each other in all angles accompanied by a really nice song. I'm here to watch a drama. Although, I kinda did get used to it in the latter episodes (specifically ep35-38) because I definitely needed a minute or two to process the emotions.

The progression of the story - One thing. I'm confused. Not to the point that "I don't understand the plot confusing" but still confusing nonetheless. There was no consistency in the scenes and the dialogues. (Ex fishing village). There was no flow. I feel like someone messed up the storyboard and when they edited the scenes they were also confused. Or maybe this is the issue of the translation of the dialogue? I don't even know. Still, I definitely think this part could've been done better.

The internal monologues - sigh when I said the thing I love most in dramas are their dialogues I don't mean what's happening in The Legend of Shen Li. The characters just talk (or think?) too damn much I can't keep up. They're supposed to be the characters whom their actions should tell the story but the way they're narrating the whole plot to me is just so jarring. Am I watching a drama or listening to an audiobook? Sometimes I can't tell. I wish they'd tone it down but it just got worse with the later episodes.

The camera - this is just me being nitpicky but there are some random camera angles especially the spinning ones that probably is supposed to make the scene dramatic but all it did was make me wanna vomit.

This is not in any way, shape, or form hating on the drama because I genuinely enjoyed it. I've deluded myself into waiting for a Princess Agents S2 but I got a better deal and had Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin to reunite in a new project which is better in my opinion because Princess Agents is a hot mess. There was really no saving that one.

So moving on to the things I like! But like, where do I even start?

First of all, Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin. Chemistry so good, they had to be casted in another drama. Everything about them was just so perfect for the drama and the role. Could not ask for a more perfect casting than them. The 7 year wait was almost worth it.

The WOMEN! - so much room for improvement regarding the characters but I loved that the women were not treated as damsels who always needed saving. I have to say 5 1/2 braincells were working throughout the drama, 2 from Shen Li, 1 from You Lan, 1 from Jin Niang Zi and 1 from Shen Mu Yue (1/2 from Xing Zhi because he's too unbothered if it's not related to Shen Li).

Shen Li - might not be the best female character in cdramaland but I think she can hold her own place. She's stubborn, a bit reckless but she's loyal and righteous. She's a strong woman without being a stereotypical cold and ruthless strong woman. Shen Li is a strong woman at the same time also a mad woman in love. She does not have to be one or the other. The more I write this the more I'm falling in love with her character. You just don't find a character like her. She is Shen Li. A capable general. A strong leader. An empathetic comrade. A respectful student. A woman in love. She is not just one of them but all of them.

Lin Gengxin is pretty believable playing as an ancient god. He has that air around him that screams your highness. He played the lofty and aloof Xing Zhi to perfection.

And what can I even say about Zhao Liying? As always miss ma'am played Shen Li perfectly. Whimsical, stubborn, in love and devasted in love, you can feel all those emotions just watching her eyes.

It has angst but not too much that we as viewers would spend multiple episodes pulling out hair of frustration about the misunderstandings and accidental killings. (Not a shade to any specific drama but just to the xanxia genre in general). It has the perfect balance of angst, romance and comedy. You laugh, cry and giggle all in one episode. The comic relief scenes are naturally funny and doesn't feel forced. Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin's comedic timing are 👌.

The conflict was handled maturely and the confession was direct but still heart fluttering. Throughout the drama, they both got their heads perfectly placed on their shoulders.

The last episode! Let us talk about the last episode because when has a drama provided that kind of fan service just making one whole episode of shenanigans and fluff. After going through the angst, the reward that is the last episode is just too good and definitely worth all the tears.

Also, can we talk about Dong Jie's guest role? I know miss ma'am is good but when I tell you I cried for a minute because of her story arc? Just hands up and mic drop. So so good!

Now that all of these are out of my system, hopefully I can move on to the next obsession, whatever that may be. I'll still probably watch episode 39 on a daily basis though. It's just too enjoyable and it makes my day. Will probably, revisit this "review" in the future and update it because I'm aware that at this point it's not making a lot of sense.

RATING: 9/10 REWATCH VALUE: 10/10 definitely would watch again! ACTING: 10/10 CATEGORY: GUILTY PLEASURE