#genuinely suffering rn
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no.. WE are unwell 🔥🔥
literally driving myself crazy rn just thinking about team rwby… them… how much love there is between all of them yet all the widening fault lines right now… something something team strq parallels… something something failing your loved ones because they equally fail to let you in…. something something the strong one finally breaking down & those who find happiness are long overdue for having it but also finding it at exactly the right time to rub salt into someone else’s wound… i am UNWELL ‼️
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Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.
#disability#this is a callout post about myself#i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned#turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly#i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack#(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way)#(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle)#anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you...#...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition]#i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀#even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭#it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker#and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller#and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected...#...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)
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Just think about it, though...
Daisy is laying in a hospital bed, asleep. Coulson has a predisposition to stay at her bedside, especially if she hasn't woken up since coming out of surgery.
When she first wakes up, her brain feels like soup because those pain meds are working their magic almost a little too well. There's a man next to her bed, and she recognizes him as someone she feels safe with, so she says his name.
"Dad?"
Mmmmmm, that doesn't seem right. That's not his name. That's not usually what I call him.... Right?
It seems to catch his attention, though, as he smiles shyly and leans forward a bit, grabbing her hand gently. It's warm and solid and safe, encompassing her whole hand.
"Daisy? How're you feeling?"
How does she feel? Everything is hard to pinpoint, but she knows two things for sure.
"Sleepy, but better now that I've got pain meds and you here." Or maybe that's three things... She gives him a dopey smile, one that she thinks probably looks like one of the many she's seen on his face. It probably does look like his because the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, right?... Or wait, is she even hi--
He seems to give a breathy chuckle, reaching a hand to move some of her loose hair behind her ear. The warmth seems to calm the soft pounding in her head, so she leans into it. And to her satisfaction, his hand seems to stay close, his slightly calloused thumb rubbing back and forth on her cheekbone.
His presence is warm and safe and all the things that make her drowsy... And she ends up falling back asleep on accident.
~~~~~
When Daisy wakes up again, she's more coherent -- the drugs were wearing off --, and Coulson is now sitting with her. She groans as she tries to wiggle her stiff body. The noise makes Coulson perk up, a little tentative, but still reaches for her hand. It felt... familiar. She decides she likes it, so she doesn't remove her hand from his.
"You're here."
"Of course. Pain meds wearing off?"
"Yeah, but I'll be okay for a little bit. It's good to feel a little pain. And I don't want to be too loopy... Which, do you know if I said anything crazy?" If Daisy didn't know any better, she would've missed the slightest bit of red in his cheeks as he seemed to smile to himself.
"Meh, nothin' too crazy... You may have called me, 'Dad.'"
That was him??? Oh....
"But... Honestly?... Is that too far from the truth?"
#just a lil drabble#a fluffy lil thing to enjoy bc we all need some rn#daisy calling coulson dad makes me feel things#and i feel like the only time she would genuinely call him dad is if she was under the influence of heavy heavy pain meds 😭💀#i dunno. it was just a thought and now you all have to suffer with it too#agents of shield#phil coulson#daisy johnson#fluff#minor whump ig???#phil coulson is daisy johnsons dad fr fr. fight me. 😤
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first: be so serious, you would not "rather be homeless"
second: do you guys know that some people are just Born places and actually have no control over that. and some people grow up and love their homes and don't want to leave, and even if they chose to move there later, no one should be forced to abandon their homes permanently. it is literally that simple.
now please tell me where in the world you would move to that is completely free of extreme weather events. quickly. people from florida fled inland and were still hit! southern appalachia is not a hurricane zone. as i said in the tags on my original post, as the climate crisis worsens, one day this WILL happen to you, no matter where you live. it will.
#you all are pissing me offffffffffff#*post about having empathy and being understanding towards the victims of natural disasters*#people in the tags for some reason: 'um if it were me i would just be smarter and better than all the victims suffering rn'#like shut up. genuinely. it's not your turn to talk right now
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wish i could say i was shocked that trump is winning the election but i wrote a paper on cult behavior in high school, so..
#rem is typing ..!#like gen this is going to#god i can’t even express it#we’re genuinely refressing so far into the past that i’m at an utter loss#and like i saw someone else say; its so telling that the ppl up and suffering rn are tbe girls and the gays#hand in hand as so very usual#sharing yet another hellish experience#what a WONDERFUL time to be american /heavy sar
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i sometimes wonder how soap/mic was mic's most popular ship for a while considering how they only had like 1 episode but also. soap just. didn't really care about mic y'know. like okay she "listened" to mic but she didn't really even help her. HELL if anything soap was more focused on nickel and suitcase. like okay sure "listen to your heart" was something that did stick with mic but. soap didn't. really do anything to help her at all. AND no shade to soap of course she WAS clearly going through a very very bad moment mental health wise but like. people saying that soap COULD'VE helped mic instead of knife is funny to me. like no her ass couldn't. her ass shouldn't even be on the competition.
#maxposteo#AND AGAIN. no shade to soap. but rewatching s2 is funny because of that whole thing.#i think they could've had a genuinely interesting friendship cause rn they don't have anything going on for them#but soap's character still needs work and all.#personally i would've still preferred them to be mic's most popular ship than The Other One#but like. it's still really boring#they DO have interesting dynamics as friends though so i do think it's kind of sad how both mic and soap suffer from-#“the girlfriend of this character” treatment
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To the Americans reading this,
I am so sorry.
I can't imagine what kind of fear you must be feeling right now and I'm so sorry your country failed you like this. I don't even know what to say.
I hope you all remain as safe as possible, especially BIPOC, women and queer people. Please try to stay strong and I'm here if you need to talk.
#you matter#you are not alone#you don't deserve to suffer#this is literally devastating#i'm genuinely terrified rn#so many people are going to suffer in both america and other countries which can be affected by us politics#america#usa#us politics#us elections#us elections 2024#donald trump#trump#important
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i hate my face it needs to be softer and i hate my body it needs to be sharper
#there is nothing in the world i wished i had more than a smaller/rounder nose#why is that thang genuinely V#<#>#^#every direction sniffin#i want to bury my face in things and not impale them#i hate the way it looks when i smile#somehow it gets even bigger#and more downturned#and my body well . at least thats easier 2 change#im so hyper aware of how much i weigh i hate the number being known it makes me want to cry i feel too exposed#its like it being a secret keeps me safe#even though everyone can see my body anyway#if i just have that then im safe no one can hurt me#what if the number makes them see me differently#what if it changes the way i look in their eyes like it does in mine#what if the dysmorphia streaks out past just me#i know its stupid n realistically it doesnt matter at all but i am so Scared i am terrified#i hate my ed i hate everything it holds over me all the time everyday#every time i look at myself im different#n im worse#and no matter how much i suffer its never happy#im so sick rn im in pain but all i can think about is at least im not eating at least its stopping me from eating#i just want to be different i want to be anything else#i feel like im always going 2 be stuck as the grossest thing in the world#ill never get the chance to look at myself n see anything but that#i want to be better. i do. i want to just move on#im so tired. but im So awful looking. & everyone has always made sure i know it. made sure im lesser and i am#ive never had a real friend. theyve always hated me n kept be barely around because they feel bad for me. n just told me how bad i looked
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mum found out I quit my job and now she's panicking from her hospital bed.
#even tho ive been unemployed since August she thinks i just quit. i think of i tell her its been a while and ive been#looking after her basically as soon as i quit she'll maybe calm down#i only ended up telling her because my money is running dry because i spent it all looking after her and checking up on her#when i wasnt supposed to. and she needs to know that im running out of money 😭#but now i feel like the situation is worse. she keeps telling me to call my old job and ask them to take me back#but id rather find another job than go back there it got so bad i genuinely thought I'd die at that place#im not built for customer service + its not worth travelling 4 hrs a day for minimum wage#shes worried about my bills but ive actually been able to pay my bills since i quit 😭 because i saved#so much money up. when i was working i could've save because i had to spend half of it on transport costs and i could barely pay my bills#my mum thinks suffering is important like its supposed to happen so im not surprised she thinks this but now i feel like#i cant even see her because she'll spend the entire visit telling me to go back to my old job#even tho i told her I've been looking for work (which i have). i was when i was still working and i still am now. im just not having the#best luck rn
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i actually didnt think it could get worse but touya's reveal being the thing that brought the todorokis together and finally made them ally themselves with endeavour regardless of all the trauma he caused them and how impossible they've found it to even hang out together as a family for the entire decade touya has been gone. THAT being what binds them. they might as well have spat in the face of touya's memory. it's not even an acknowledgement that dabi must be stopped it's just like they never even loved him. endeavour is giving him more sympathy than them. 'you will have to fight dabi one day' et tu rei?
#i have no words this is genuinely disgusting to watch#'shouto is the true hero' HE WAS LITERALLY A BABY WHEN HALF THIS SHIT WENT DOWN#I LOVE SHOUTO BUT THIS AINT ABOUT HIM! IN FACT HIM BEING THE FOCUS WHEN HE SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN WAS A BIG CONTRIBUTOR#like this is literally the moment the todorokis come together. imagine explaining that in conversation#'oh yeah our family was capital F Fucked because of my dad's abuse and manipulation and we went decades hardly functioning#but then one day my big brother went public with how much he'd suffered at my dad's hands and we all collectively went wow. what a dick#and we all allied against him to support my dad and now we're whole again :) cute right?'#??????? am i shouting at a wall rn???????? am i missing something????????#mha spoilers#touya todoroki
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ALEX TO RED BULL? ALEX TO RED BULL?
#.txt#dont be fucking mean to me rn this would very genuinely be the second bit of good news this year for me okay#i have been fucking suffering#silly season 2024#winter 2023#i get why u would dislike it but have u considered: it would work#im gen not open to criticism about this rn please dont be mean to me in my ask box or dm#im being very serious lol i have genuinely been suffering anf this is the first thing that made me genuinely smile this week
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doing some research before going back home rn and i'm so confused. wtf do they mean that they're gonna check my personal belongings in the airport, and those bought from overseas will be limited to a total of $500 while the rest of it is chargeable to tax?
#rin rambles#??????#bro i pive overseas i.... what am i supposed to do#all my things are 'bought overseas'.... BECAUSE I LIVE OVERSEAS??????????#you telling me i can't come home????#like#what#what is this new stupid ass rule#and wtf is with that limit are you insane#is our commerce/tax minister stupid? i'm. genuinely flabbergasted rn#you're just looking for money and you're just making your citizens suffer#i can't with this stupid country anymore#make it make sense???????
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god gives his easiest battles to his most unmedicated soldiers. so the ease is fuckig irrelevant
#bc the bastard can't let any battle be won that fuckin easily ig#suffering academically to the extreme lads#probably gonna have to defer if that's still possible. and I was GONNA graduate this summer#but I am genuinely so fucked this semester#and I think if I'm gonna make it in another semester. I'm gonna need to get diagnosed bc shit is so wack rn#I'm kinda coming to terms w the idea of deferring. I'm seeing some silver linings#but was genuinely having a breakdown over the mere idea of having to tell my friends and family I'm spending a 7th year in university
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GOD IMAGINE IF NIGHTSHADE AFTER GETTING HIS MEMORIES WIPED THEY KEEP ASKING TIM IF THEY ARE OK AND IF ANYTHING IS HAPPENING BECAUSE OF THEIR BEHAVIOR AND THEY LIE AND TRYING NOT MAKE THEIR VOICE SOUND WOBBLY
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Sorry I'm normal now
NO NO ANON YOU'RE SO RIGHT. I'M NOT NORMAL ABOUT IT AT ALL I NEED VICTIM TO BLOW UP RIGHT FUCKING NOW <3
#tommy's foolery#tommy's stickmen tag#tommy's aus#tommy's stick!alan#amnesia!alan au#victim is so fucked UPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need them to suffer forever. i need them to cry. i'm grabbing them. squeaking them like squeaky toy!!!!!!!!!!!!#genuinely i need victim to explode. i hate them so much!!!!!!! (affectionate)#anyway. 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 <- you and me rn anon
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i think my coworkers and friends think its a little excessive that Im so militant about my sleep schedule but its hard to describe the extent to which the terrors fucking get me if my circadian rhythm is even a little fucked up
#see. if i fall asleep by 10:45 or so usually the RLS doesnt start up#but if i drink a coffee too late. or im out late. or stressed. or dont get much sleep the night before#it puts me at precipitous risk of getting fucking got#and then its genuinely some of the worst suffering i ever experience... crying pacing self medicating panicking etc etc etc#would take food poisoning over a bad RLS night easy. at least inbetween the vomiting you can sometimes get some rest#rn trialing a med that totally zonks me during the day but its worth it as a PRN cause otherwise ill be zonked ND a bitch if i dont sleep#to delete#resident good#my coworker like.... you wont even go out to dinner before a work day? not if its after 9PM bro otherwise theres a chance i Will Not Sleep#and not only that I WILL suffer the whole time#man Im frustrated too! I wish I wasnt like this but thats the bitch of living with a poorly understood movement disorder!
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Mutuals my beloveds 🫶✨️
#i genuinely have so much adoration for mutuals#hugs for all#i feel so ill rn#i am suffering :(#also i have chronic pain which doesnt help#qsmp#mutuals
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