#genuinely scary beginning and genuinely frustrating ending

[oldrudshore]

What are friends for if not moments like these

[naamahdarling]

Today's medical update, please pardon any weirdness as I am using speech to text, and please excuse how long this is. I put an excellent picture of Fancy at the end for you. Here we go.

The shortest version is that my GP is going to try and centralize this. I have made an appointment for Monday. We are going to start over from the very beginning. New specimens, new cultures, everything.

The long version is kind of wild ride. It's going under a cut

My GP is now telling me that on two of the occasions that I went to Urgent Care or the hospital for a UTI, the records say that I did not actually have one.

This makes no sense whatsoever. I was symptomatic and I could smell it. On both of these occasions, I was told in no uncertain terms that I did have one.

I do not believe I was lied to at either facility. That means the only possibilities are that the testing was done improperly, the results were charted improperly, the records were sent over improperly, or I didn't understand what was being said to me.

At this point, with this absolute clown show that has been unfolding around me, this ridiculous circus where each act is fraught with nonsensical antics even more baffling than the ones before, I am literally unable to come to any conclusions. This is absolutely maddening.

And it's frightening, because there is something wrong, genuinely, and it might be something that they are unable to detect with the methods they are currently using. That's scary for a multitude of reasons, one of which is that they are not going to be willing or able to treat something if they do not think it exists. The other is that it opens the door to the possibility of their being further testing, which makes me violent to even contemplate. I want what is wrong with me to be simple, easy to treat, and relatively benign.

This has been frustrating, and drawn out, and I am sick of it. By itself it isn't enough to completely break me down. It's been almost unbearable when combined with the facts that I have serious concerns about the health of three of my cats, that my father seems to be worsening in his condition, that I have several other medical storylines going concurrently with this one, one of which is extremely stressful and frightening, and that all of this fuckery and running around has caused me to have to cut out most of the very, very few enjoyable and meaningful activities that are present in my life.

It has impacted my ability to be present for my partner, and for my pets, for me to sustain communication and relationships with people who are not my boyfriend or my best friend, and to simply fucking relax.

Also I can't fuck. Like, I know that this is the laugh at horny people website, but that is significant. Receiving not just physical touch but intimate touch is one of the very few ways I have of assorting ownership over my own body at this time.

I feel my identity has shifted from an internally defined "struggling person just going about their business" to an externally defined identity as a patient with a body that is sick and who must now structure their life around the demands of a system that does not care about me in the slightest, even though the providers usually do.

From the outside I know that this doesn't seem that terrible. I've spent the vast majority of this with no pain, and the times I have been in pain haven't crested a 3. If it weren't for the fact that I don't know what it is, it would be relatively trivial!

Unfortunately, because this isn't all I have going on, it's been really fucking things up. I space my appointments out so that I have time to recover between each one. I have PTSD, I have medical trauma, I have emotional reactions after stepping into a medical facility for any reason, and when things go wrong even in a very small way they can be intense. I manage this by allowing myself to have the reaction, experience all of the feelings, and come back to myself. It is a healthy way of doing things. It doesn't work, though, if I'm having to deal with one thing after another and no time in between to recover from it. This is essentially what has been happening to me for 2 months. Appointments, phone calls, messages, fixing mistakes, having to explain my history repeatedly as it gets ever more complicated. There's a lot more to it than just one appointment a week, which is already a lot for me.

I know this is something that chronically ill people deal with all the time, often for years, often for life, but the extent of it is new to me and very difficult to bear. My personality is vanishing under the weight of all of this crap. I do not feel like myself.

So yeah, sorry for rambling so much but this is just been...I don't even have the words to describe it. Nonsensical, but in an unfortunately consequential way. I've been going in circles all this time, apparently.

I don't really expect anybody to read all of this. But if you did, thank you. It means a lot to me. This place, and all of you, function as a sort of pressure relief, and a source of constant, pleasurable entertainment. I know many of you empathize with what I'm going through, and that helps me to feel less alone. That all by itself is so important.

Anyway, here's my cat.

She got to be on the puzzle table and was very smug about it.

[solargeist]

I love that you went from the watchers being this mildly terrifying force that doesn’t realize they’re terrifying (and traumatizing Grian) side eyeing that one 3L comic you made about the watchers making it a “game” for Grian (still very much thinking about the “yaaaaay you won!”) to now Oh My Gosh A Tiny Being Can We Adopt Him pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease

ehehe i was trying to get my footing !! I think I have a grasp now on how I like writing them now ....

However !! The Watchers still very much traumatize Grian, even though they genuinely do love him, I've said that since the beginning, thats their babeyyyyyyyy Watcher, but still a Watcher nonetheless.

Aethers not exactly excused from this either, she loves him and cares abt him, but shes an angel, she just doesn't understand. She has an issue with..... Toxic positivity ? Shes not very confrontational and doesn't want to have hard conversations with him, its easier to hide things or just comfort him by rubbing his back or hair when hes upset. When Grian asks to visit Evo again early on, she already knows all the players have left, but lets him see for himself anyway. Its like when a kid begs to eat something like cocoa powder, not understanding how bitter it is, so you just let them. So its not a big deal to her, but is to Grian, its the horrifying realization that he is completely alone, all of his friends left, he feels abandoned and betrayed. All good things must come to an end though, she says, nothing lasts forever, except us ! haha !

Not to mention the purposeful sleep deprivation and isolation, the full control over what he eats, where he goes, what he does. Its not very fun being a kid, its hard and no one understands.

Aether didn't originally want to be a parent, nor was she exactly ready for that, so she just did a lot of things that were normal to her, what she went through or what other Watchers had told her. But ! She does care abt him, enough to bend the rules just a tinyyy bittttt sometimes bc ~technically shes allowed to since he's her kid, yes he can go home if he has a headache or eat fish if he asks for it wym.

Theres also Flora, his aunt, she has no interest in kids and sees Grian just as a Watcher in training, this means she's a lot harder on him, but bc he's her sister's kid she doesn't act on this all the time. She also projects her own issues on him, how can you survive or do anything in life if you're not strong ? Here fight this phantom creature you've literally never seen before. Thats as far as their relationship goes, she teaches him to fight. She pets his head sometimes anyway. (kind of like how parents will sometimes force their kids to play sports, or take extra classes, or get frustrated with you over math and you cry over disappointing them)

I don't think the Watchers are intentionally evil, but I don't think they're goofy dumb birds with baby fever either, they're complicated !! There something abt how people who love you can hurt you, and religion can try to save you and it'll doom you instead. (ok they can be a little bit dumb birds sometimes, but they're also righteous angels at the same time)

Its also kinda scary being 25 years old, and then being brought to some place you thought you had equal grounds on, but everyone is taller/stronger and treats you like a child or even a pet, that alone would have some side effects, i imagine.

They're very fun to write abt.

Grian also doesn't often get to see the sun.

[dailytogachako]

Hi...if you don't mind, can I ask something from BNHA? What do you think are Toga and Uraraka’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Since what moment that you start shipping them? Sorry if you've answered these questions before.....

Hellooo dnana!! I don't mind getting questions, so don't be shy!!!

one thing i've always loved about uraraka is her willingness to help others and also her empathy. she would never hesitate to help anyone, no matter who it was. i also really liked her backstory, and how she was fighting so that her parents wouldn't have to worry about money in the future. it's something admirable.

which is something funny cause to me, one of her weak points is precisely her empathy and your need to help others. she's always thinking about others, doing everything for the others and this becomes a problem when she ends up not thinking about herself. It is very noticeable how much she avoids talking about her feelings, this becomes more visible when toga dies and she goes to cry on the terrace alone, without asking anyone for help how to deal with all this pain.

her need to help others can end up becoming a bad thing when she realizes that she often cannot help others all the time, which ends up becoming frustrating for her and she blames herself for not being able to help even though she does everything she can. and when I say help others, I mean both ways: saving their lives or trying to help them in small things

Now, talking about toga: she's been one of my favorite characters for a long time, I liked how she expressed herself and how she didn't hate heroes at all (at the beginning of the anime). and I love how little by little we saw more of her backstory and understood why she acted that way, because until then many people considered her a "crazy psychopath yandere"

one great thing about toga is simply the fact that she loves, and that's it. I think it's beautiful how she loves everyone who has blood running through their veins, and as if it were her way of saying that everyone can be loved, including her. she's not afraid to express her love and to say that she loves someone (even if it is in her own way). also she was not afraid to try to be herself, even when her parents and old school friends told her she was weird and a demon. It may not have been the "right way", but she tried, she wanted a world where she and her friends from the league of villains could smile. and i think that's beautiful after all.

and her weak point is: not facing the past

toga avoids her past, avoids talking about what happened because it is something sad and scary. this becomes a mistake when we realize that not talking about what happened in the past can influence the present.

In the final arc, before she dies, she finally faces the demons of her past with ochako, and we realize that there is still a lot of stuff stored away, especially hurt. we finally managed to understand that she's not a bad person, she was just lost and wanted to find someone who understood her. and that she never wanted to hurt someone and steal their blood, she wanted to ask but knew that if she did, they would call her a demon.

I've been shipping them since 2019 (when I started MHA) and i just loved the hero x villain dynamic, it was something cool for me. as the story progressed, I started to like how toga seemed to genuinely like ochako (more than she apparently liked deku) and how uraraka seemed curious about toga, and that she wasn't really afraid of her (which later turned out to be canon)

this shipp is something sweet to me, how ochako sought to know about toga and how she didn't give up until the end. and how toga was so hurt but allowed herself to open up to ochako and talk about what happened. I'm sure if they had a chance... things would have been different.

[knightotoc]

The beginning and end of Crosshair's arc each address a separate frustration I've had with Star Wars backpedaling on its own drama.

The first is the wishy-washiness of the clones' implanted brain chips. The original concept art from Attack of the Clones shows the clones to be victims of brainwashing. The sterile, science-gone-wrong imagery is inspired by Lucas' debut THX-1138, a bleak film with a tenuous and generally confrontational relationship to Star Wars. AotC, with its forbidden romance and evil fetus-growing laboratories, is the SW movie most similar to THX, and also my favorite.

The AotC concept artists went so far as to speculate that the clones did not have souls, an extreme reaction but certainly a dramatic tabula rasa to build characters upon. RotS briefly shows the Jedi's complete trust in the clones and the clones' ruthless betrayal; the explanation for this shocking behavior is implied through a parallel to Anakin, as is everything else in that movie.

But once the darn cartoon had been on cable for a few years, the writers lost faith in the THX reference and Anakin parallel and decided to replace brainwashing/manipulation with a physical Order 66 chip in the clones' brains. The idea that their characters had become too lovable to ever willingly do something so bad is a fundamental misunderstanding of Star Wars, the operatic genre, and human nature.

Season 7, while knocking it out of the park with the Maul stuff, made this brain chip thing even worse by having Ahsoka break Rex's before he had to kill any Jedi. So even though the clones are innocent, the protagonist clone is even more innocent.

And now he's supposed to lead the clones away from the Empire, but why should they follow someone who can't even relate to their fundamental curse? He's like Galahad, the only knight chaste enough to find the Holy Grail, and they're like Bors, who is technically chaste except for that one time he had sex because he got tricked by a magic spell. Thank God for rigid moral hierarchies beyond earthly control!

The only other clones who can't relate to the chip curse are the Bad Batch, since their mutated brains made them immune to it. But while the goodies don't hurt a fly, Crosshair uses his special gift of free will to shoot at a cute little Padawan. And not just any Padawan, but one of the most beloved Jedi to ever do it, the future Kanan Jarrus.

So in a bent around way, Crosshair punches through this annoying loophole the cartoon writers made in one of the movies' darkest scenes. He's not matchy-matchy, but he is still genuinely brainwashed, which makes him the only clone who still follows their original violent vision.

So, the twist at the beginning of Crosshair's arc course-corrects a decision made in a spin-off about the motivations for background characters -- but the end of his arc addresses a much bigger problem, one that affects the greatest scenes and biggest characters in the whole story: amputation.

Luke's spiritual pain from learning the truth about his father is accompanied by the physical pain of amputation. Obi-Wan demonstrates his unexpected badassery through amputation. Luke demonstrates his burgeoning badassery by Force-pulling his lightsaber toward him...shortly followed by amputation. Anakin's repeated carelessness for his weapon and life leads to him stupidly running right into amputation. Kreia proves her twisted devotion by amputation. Cay Qel-Droma becomes dependent on his brother because of amputation. Obi-Wan will not kill Anakin, but he will amputate him.

And these scenes are scary and intense, in the moment. But they do not have consequences. All of these amputees are either alien villains who we never hear from again, or Force-wielders supported by a wealthy institution which instantly provides a perfect prosthetic. Only Kreia runs around with an actual stump, but her signature move is telekinetically spinning three purple lightsabers.

There are several heart-stirring images, such as Anakin's robotic hand holding Padmé's at their wedding, or Luke's hand revealing gizmos instead of blood when he's shot on Jabba's yacht, but these images have more to do with Lucas' problematic theme of "nature > technology" than the theme of disability.

But Crosshair does not have the Force, and he certainly doesn't have the support of any institution. Most dramatically of all, his amputation is not the tragic finale of his battle, but only the penultimate act.

As a fantastically skilled sniper, Crosshair relies more upon his hands than any other SW character I know. His astounding precision is demonstrated most memorably in this scene from an earlier season, in which the music stops to allow his laser fire to ricochet off a spinning disk, down a hallway, and right into his clanker target's head:

This isn't the Force. This isn't believing in something you can't see. This is deliberate!

Throughout the last season, Crosshair has a tremor in his dominant hand which significantly affects his aim. This comes to a terrible head when he misses the shot meant to attach a tracking device to the ship kidnapping his sister Omega (again). After years of doing wrong, he finally wants to do right, and he fails because of his humiliating and unprepared-for disability.

This disability continues throughout the long journey to track her down by their wits, until he is finally captured himself. Just as escape seems close, the Imperials cut off his dominant hand to punish him. In all the other cases of amputation in Star Wars, it takes a guy completely out of the fight. But Crosshair can't afford to lose, yet. He has to keep going.

In the final battle scene, the villain is hand-cuffed to Omega on the other end of a bridge (with no hand rails of course), and Crosshair has to shoot the hand-cuffs off so the badguy can fall without dragging down Omega. Crosshair has to lean his rifle on his brother Hunter's shoulder, balance with his stump, and pull the trigger with his non-dominant hand.

The first Star Wars movie is actually unique among the franchise for having a purely satisfying victory -- the other ones all pile on some tragedy or irony -- but I think that Crosshair's victory is the most satisfying of all.

[explodingchantry]

In your heart shall burn is such a mixed bag. On one side, it's an absolutely iconic quest -- probably THE most iconic quest of DAI, followed by here lies the abyss (though I would argue here lies the abyss is infamous, rather than iconic). And it does a lot of things quite well.

It also just blunders on a lot of things that continue DAI's habit of bland storytelling.

I'm not super fond of the very beginning of the quest - of getting a cutscene with absolutely no say whatsoever, with the not-yet-quizzy sealing the breach with the aid of the mages/templars. It does try to frame this as grand, as impressive, but the fact that there's no gameplay, that you just get to watch the quizzy do something cool.... it's boring. And leaves you with the disappointment of "...that's it?"

Because the breach is built up as a world ending phenomena but you just grab a few dozen mages and a guy who barely knows how to control their mysterious mark and then... poof. it's gone. Sure, it's replaced with a bigger threat -- but I don't know if the excitement of the attack on haven fully washes away the disappointment felt upon sealing the breach so quickly.

The attack on haven itself though is, genuinely, very well done. You feel it as a consequence for your actions: You chose one side, so the other is attacking you. Furthermore it works much better as a window into the future: You see what happens to one side when you don't choose them and thus wonder, "what would've happened to the side I DID choose, if I left them alone?" and it's scary.

Obviously having chosen the mages, it is actually scary seeing the red templars turning into horrors. This is actually well done -- a much better way to show the threat of red lyrium than in hushed whispers ever could do.

The reveal of Corypheus as well, looming on his hill with Samson/Calpernia must've been extremely exciting for those who came to DAI from da2 Legacy as well -- and Legacy does hint at Corypheus' survival too, so it does feel earned for those who understood what Legacy's ending was hinting at.

The gameplay as well, of the attack on Haven, is fun. It reminds me of the battle of Denerim in dao. You do feel like the forces attacking you are overwhelming. I think they could've done more, but it might've been because I'm replaying DAI on medium out of laziness lmfao. And even on medium, you can actually get pretty overwhelmed. Good stuff.

I like the gameplay element of having to ready the trebuchet as well because it is fucking stressful, having to use one of your limited party members only to man the trebuchet whilst the others fight. It can be a bit frustrating depending on AI behaviours but in general it's actually rewarding.

The facedown with Corypheus itself is pretty good as well -- and the guy's got some raw lines. The voice acting could've done him better I think, but it's well decent. "Beg that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the gods and it was empty" is also SO iconic. It does work to bring up dread.

Until it doesn't, lol.

See, I do like the concept of the not-yet-quizzie sacrificng themselves so the rest of haven can get away. I LIKE the concept of them seeing their beacon and deciding to mulan their way out of the confrontation. but.... I hate that it's all in a cutscene. I hate that there's no gameplay element to it. You get like three opportunities to choose your dialogue with Corypheus but then you don't get to actually choose to use the trebuchet. Quizzie does it for you. I never thought I'd say this but even a QTE would be better than this.

I wish this had been gameplay. I wish we got to fight with Corypheus, alone, see that nothing we did damaged him, get beaten, have a cutscene where he can be cool, and have a gameplay element somewhere in there where you get to choose to use the trebuchet. i dont know. it's such a huge mistake in video games to not let the player do the cool things the main character does.

The walk up the mountain in the blizzard could've also been done much better. The concept itself has the potential for a gripping video game moment: you walk, injured, cold, alone, and lost in a sea of snow. You can't see anything. You can't hear anything but wind and faraway wolves. Your character stumbles, and slows. It's great. But you keep getting these little skips, these fade to blacks between areas and animation changes. That kind of takes away from the whole thing, from the feeling of walking for what must've been hours in this state.

It would've hit better if there were no fade to blacks -- if the player genuinely had to just keep walking through this environment for actual minutes. It would ofc need to walk a fine line, because it could risk being boring or making replays more tedious. But I do think it could be done, and be done well. Because as the scene stands, you're left waiting for the next fade to black, rather than dreading when your not-yet-quizzie will finally collapse.

And then the dawn will come scene is just... so... awkward and uncomfortable. It, as well as the not-yet-quizzie BEING crowned quizzie, finding skyhold, which becomes a place of pilgrimmage... I think the game does attempt to make a point of the lack of agency the quizzie has. I do think it does want you to be uncomfortable with being held as herald, as inquisitor, as chosen. There's a few dialogue options that let you express this discomfort, after all. But it falls flat because you as a player also lack control and agency in too many points of the game, as I've already highlighted, and as is everpresent throughout the game. It's just not well done.

It also really feels like DAI is a christian or at least biblical story at its core. There's even some Jesus parallels when mother Giselle tells you the people of haven saw you die and rise again. And then you, their prophet, leads them through a harsh environment to a place of respite and safety like you were Moses or something. Obviously you can only stray so far from christianity when Andrastianism was always meant to be christianity if jesus was jeanne d'arc, but DAI really hits it right on the nose lol

And then of course Skyhold, as well as the cool little ability you get. So to summarise: You gain powerful allies in the mages/templars, you seal the breach, you lose haven... and then gain an impregnable fortress and a cool ability. Sure, the loss of haven can hit hard ,especially with the amount of corpses strewn around. You can even rescue and help named characters you might've grown an attachment to, and you might've grown an attachment to haven itself especially depending on how early you choose to play the quest. But this doesn't change that you gain so much more than you lose.

The stakes rise so impossibly high: You've got an ancient prophet of the old gods, one of the magisters who stepped into the fade physically, one of the harbinger of the blight itself, and apparently he even commands an archdemon. But when Cole mentions the archdemon in the chantry, Cullen shrugs it off. No one reacts. You would only react, and go "oh shit" if you'd played dao, or somehow done your research as a new player. Which new players on their first playthrough wouldn't really do. So this lack of reaction tells you that archdemon is just a fancy name for a dragon rather than a fucking terrifying thing to hear just flying above you in the sky. Hell, in dao you see the archdemon like 3 times before you fight it in denerim because it is that terrifying! It builds up its threat, everyone is scared, it wreaks absolute destruction!

But Haven was already basically done for before the archdemon even came in lol. And even if that wasn't the case, the lack of reaction from Cullen or anyone involved in that cutscene doesn't aid in building up its threat.

In your heart shall burn could've been AMAZING. Instead, it's just pretty good. It could've been an absolute gutpunch, a reality check showing you just how bad of a situation you're in. Instead, you just rise and rise and rise and then you just rise againb. You're untouchable now.

I wish the encounter with Cory left us weaker, somehow. Maybe impaired in some way. Especially with the anchor. I wish it did... SOMETHING other than give us a cool castle. But it doesn't.

In your heart shall burn tries REALLY, really hard -- but it's all these things that just make it stumble over the finish line. It's genuinely a shame.

[x-neurotoxin-x]

do you hate endeavor ?

Yikes. I feel like some ppl are not gonna like my answer for this.

I'm only gonna talk about him as a character for one, because obviously if he was a real person I would hate him because fuck abusers but he's not a real person. He is a fictional character.

I have complicated feelings about Enji. I love the todofam and i think their plot line is honestly the best subplot in the series, but i have complicated feelings about a lot of aspects of it and the todofam members themselves. Enji included.

Endeavor is a complex character. He is, and this shouldn't be a hot take. There's several criticisms i have about how Hori took his character and how his character arc was handled and pretty much took over the todofam plot, im not happy with a lot of aspects, but there's plenty of things I like about Endeavor's character and how he impacts the todofam and their subplot. I like that he's three dimensional-- He isn't just a cardboard cut out "bad dad." He has actual flaws, does/did awful things, made terrible choices, but he also has genuine and realistic traits- he's headstrong, determined, and he has emotions other than just "scary angry asshole" like a lotta domestic abusers are portrayed in media. He feels selfishness, anger, self pity, and frustration, but he also feels remorse, he feels guilt, he feels grief and regret. He's human. That's realistic and honestly an aspect about him that i really like because real people aren't cardboard cutouts and abusers can feel bad and want to change, but it doesnt change what they did or take away their responsibility for it. I don't feel bad for him, and I can't sympathize with him but I see him, if that makes sense? Having him have these feelings of regret, self pity, anger, and guilt all in one makes the family drama so much more fascinating and layered to me because he's written with complex emotions and isn't just an evil ass for the sake of it. The way DV is portrayed in Enji and Rei as well as the rest of the family is really realistic in my opinion. The same with how grooming is portrayed with Enji and Touya, Touya's one of the most relatable victims of grooming and abuse ive seen in a while, and it's done really well.

I don't really like Enji's redemption/atonement arc, as in I don't like how it was carried out. There's ways it could have gone so much better and more satisfying, but especially towards the end it feels rushed, lazy, and repetitive. Especially given how we've been shown very clearly from the beginning how terrible of a person Enji was and how many horrible things he did to his family- his atonement arc doesn't match up with how he was written in the beginning and doesn't feel consistent. I wish there had been more narrative consequence for him, and i wish hed developed beyond "I'm terrible and im trying to atone" over and over. Half his lines are repeating the same thing again and again without building on it, expanding on it, or on the other end; tearing it down. I blame that on Hori and moreso how rushed he appeared to be towards the end, but it made the whole thing really unsatisfying.

This is a lot of rambling. In short; I actually kinda like Endeavor's character and the impact he's had on the story. I hate the kinda person he is, but he's well written in my opinion.

[merakiui]

Hooooooooly crap your latest Azul fic is probably the most intense, jaw-dropping roller coaster ride I've ever been on. Like oh my gosh, starting it off with such a suspenseful scene was such a good way of getting the reader's attention- not to mention the spiral as to how it even gets to that point. The in-betweens were so fucking good!

Absolutely obsessed with the way you describe the scenery and the inner turmoil, like it's so poetic and just creates such a delicious imagery!! The fluffiness in the first vow was soooo tooth rottingly sweet- Like holy crap got me giggling and kicking my feet over here. I absolutely adore the way you wrote the mc, especially with how well she was at handling Azul's negativity and self-deprecation at the start. Just the way you're able to make the reader's feel the same way as the mc- I was SEETHING. The amount of times I got so frustrated with Azul- Especially with how he tried to get her to stop working, like dawg, she's doin' it cause she likes it, JUST LET HER HAVE THIS ONE THING

I was so glad when mc called it off when she did, cause ain't no way Azul was talking about some "You don't care for me as much if I'm healthy" LIKE WTF ARE YOU SAYING?? LITERALLY RIPPING MY PILLOW TO SHREDS RN

Aaaaaaa and oh my gosh the way mc just snaps- just says 'fuck it' and just lets everything out was so satisfying yet also so scary cause like- bro's definitely not gonna just accept that. Holy crap the bits of dialogue as he realizes mc was leaving- I can't. I'm not okay. Like the build up?? Like we know what's about to happen, but the way we see his perspective as it's about it happen- My mouth is agape. Eyes bulging out of skull- THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD SCENE!! Actual chills

Ending it on the hospital scene as his mentality just reverts back to how things were before her- Ugh... I can't- I can't function anymore. I have never been gagged so much by fanfic- like the life has been sucked out of me in the best way possible

Definitely will be re-reading, there's no way I could be fine with reading it only once

Such a satisfying conclusion too- like oh my gosh <3

OMG OMG THANK YOU!!!!! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH AAAAAAAAAAAA (≧◡≦) ♡

I wanted it to feel like a fic that suffocates you with sadness and emptiness while you're reading it, so opening with the aftermath of the murder felt appropriate! It sets such a haunting mood because you don't quite know why Azul did this or what happened for things to turn out this way (until you read the end of the fic), which only makes it more unsettling the further you read.

:D I'm so happy you enjoyed many aspects of the fic, especially the short-lived fluff in the beginning! I think that was my favorite part to write out of everything (although the hospital scene is a close second). Azul and Reader were so genuinely cute together in that scene. T_T if only it could be like that always...

And I'm especially happy you liked the way I wrote the reader's character here!!!! I wanted her to be more in tune with emotions than Azul is because it felt like a nice contrast to the very out-of-control, emotional Azul. She's honestly such a sweetheart who is just trying her best to be genuinely kind and loving despite the situation. Azul is so frustrating here, so the fact that Reader could remain patient and gentle throughout six entire years of their marriage... It felt satisfying to write her finally snapping at him, so I'm glad that was a scene you could enjoy! I liked switching perspectives partway through as the focus strays from the subject of Reader and her bringing up the divorce to Azul's disturbing behaviors as he begins to lose himself to his fears and insecurities. And then he just shuts off and tragedy ensues. >_< it's heartbreaking and scary and so many other unfortunate things!!!

And the hospital scene oooooo yes yes!!!!! Azul's psychology in this fic is so fascinating to me. He really did mean it when he said the reader was his world, so with her no longer in it his entire existence undergoes this drastic shift and suddenly he's not whole. He's lost a vital part of himself, the part that felt loved and appreciated, and so now he's back to floating through life with this lonesome emptiness and self-hatred. Now the world is small and devoid of color. Now it's just monochrome and cold.

Aaaaaaaa I loved writing him in this state of slow, uncertain delirium and the way he panics when the nurses won't answer his questions. I also greatly enjoyed writing him using the phrase "my wife" over and over because Reader is no longer just her own person to him. She's Azul's. His wife. And then there's also the symbolism in Azul killing Reader and knowing that no one else will have her ever again and that, because he got to take her life for himself, it will be no one else's. It's not even Reader's anymore.

Forgive my ramblings!!! I'm just very happy to know you liked the fic and that you will be reading it again!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!! 💖

[topicaltropic]

Close family resolution i fuck w/ since its always been about being doomed. Journey got cut short and only had a beginning and end though.

Oak & stampler family resolution share being haphazard and rushed and both impeded by the fact that the two dads are npcs and cant take a active role the story and relationship required of them. Sparrow and normals conflict about sparrow not being proud of normal shouldnt have been soley focused on normal feeling like he has to prove himself to his father but sparrow realizing the fault is on him for not being proud and grappling with his own self shame that hurts normal. Terry needed to be more proactive in reaching out to scary & continue to reach out even as she pushed him away to prove he wanted a genuine bond with her and it wasnt just surface level niceties.

What the hell was going on w/ lincs family bruvs 😭 first of all despite the other parents all already being majorly snubbed marco got treated especially dirty (2nd only to cassandra) and its especially frustrating when matt arnold mentiones how equally important he is to lincs development but a pivotal scene or moment between them never gets to come to fruition like what the fuck gives. A major part of the wilsons family story arc is taken up far far too much by depicting grants self deprecation to a frankly gratuitous degree and derails the main issue between them which is about trust. Im not as frustrated at the wilson families story because the emphasis were placed more on normal & scarys who had a more cohesive thing going on and my focus is over there for the majority but like i look away from 2 cars who nearly crashed just severely scuffed and see to the side theres a 3rd car completely disassembled and drenched in urine. What happened there.

First, the onus of these relationships shouldnt solely be on the teens the transition from adapting gameplay & story from the pc being the parents to child holds a different dynamic but unfortunately isnt either accounted for or good for gameplay and with it stems so many of its problems. This leading to them like getting tired/not caring and the complete lack of passion or investment towards the end of the story for this world & characters is so sad. The blanket statement of i love yous from the dads and it just immediately rolling credits is like damn yall are so done w/ this 😭

[mikimyslee]

is there anything that helps you when you run out of ambien? tbh i think i'm going to end up in a similar situation soon (in my case i haven't been overusing them but my doctor is just never in his office and the other doctors i get put with won't refill it and try to take me off it cold turkey) i hope you can find some way to hang in there, i'm sending kind thoughts your way and hope life gives you a break. wishing you the best 🫂

(I’m sorry this is so long, prepare for the biggest yapfest of 2024)

This is my first time running out, and it was due to my own stupid irresponsibility, so hopefully I shouldn’t deal with this issue again. However, I absolutely hate that your doctors are treating you so badly, it can be dangerous to pull you off of your meds at random especially when you really need it. If im not misreading and you’re taking Ambien as well, cold turkey quitting that stuff, whether it was your choice or not, can be dangerous depending on a few factors such as dose and length of time you’ve been on it. The doctors you are dealing with sound like they’re being incredibly careless with your health and if it’s possible I would see about switching doctors, but that process can be difficult and frustrating so I completely get it if you can’t do that.

If things start to get bad (like you begin having withdrawal symptoms or you start to feel like hurting yourself) and you have the option available near you, I would go to an urgent care or the ER.

I know that isn’t available to everyone though, but in the past four months I’ve been to the er and urgent care at least 15 times. It’s not an exaggeration, I just have been running into health problems that badly that many times in a short period. I’m saying this because it was the only way I could get SOME kind of help in my most desperate times. Maybe they can listen to the issues you’re having and someone might be able to help you get in contact with your doctor. I can’t say for sure what they’d be willing to do though, it’s like a gamble with every healthcare worker. Sometimes they’re really helpful, sometimes they’re indifferent to your situation.

Depending on where you are and what insurance you have, trying to get the help you NEED is like pulling teeth. I’m so sorry you have to deal with it, it’s stressful, scary, and it’s enough to drive you fucking insane. I’m also sorry that I’m not very good at giving advice and for going on a tangent. Despite being on the highest dose, I probably haven’t been on this med for as long as you have, and so therefore i have not dealt with much physical withdrawal symptoms. Mainly just anxiety, rebound insomnia, nausea. Its difficult for me to say exactly what I’m doing to deal with it, a lot of it is me just sitting and watching the clock, biting my nails, stuffing my face with food to deal with more bubbling over anxiety.

As far as I know, I am with certainty getting that prescription filled, so I’m able to find some comfort in knowing that it will happen eventually. For you, it seems that the future of your prescription refill is uncertain right now. I don’t know how you’re getting through any of it, but if I was in your shoes right now I’d probably be handling it very badly. That’s to say, I genuinely think you’re a resilient and strong person who has likely dealt with more than your fair share of problems and stressors. I think you’re going to make it through this, and you will be able to get in contact with your doctor or a doctor willing to listen to you, even if it’s a painstaking, infuriating process.

As for what I’m doing and I’ve been doing for the past week to get through it…I’ve been trying to keep myself distracted with other things and I take some other meds I have so that I’ll eventually get tired.

At night I take two benedryls, six hydroxizine (25mg), half a mirtazapine (15 mg, previously prescribed for insomnia but I stopped taking it after I got prescribed the zolpidem. I still have it so I’m using it to get through these two weeks) and two 10mg meletonin gummies. These are split into two doses, not taken all at once. I take a Benedryl, three hydroxyzine, and a meletonin gummy. Then I take the rest after a few hours, usually closer to 5 am and then I try to sleep. It’s worked so far, the key is to not start flipping out if you can’t fall asleep immediately, which I do a lot.

I’m not sure if you have hydroxyzine on hand, they give that stuff out like candy, but it’s an antihistamine similar to Benedryl and it can make you sleepy. If you don’t have that, 10mg meletonin gummies and Benedryl might help at least a little BUT PLEASE BE CAREFUL with how much Benedryl you take. It’s funny to joke about that hatman, but you can seriously die if you’re not careful. I went to the icu last month due to an accidental overdose of Benedryl and hydroxizine, wasn’t in there long but it was ROUGH.

At max, take three, but don’t take more than that in one night if you can help it. And don’t take them all at once. If you feel like they’re not working, give it time. I used to take about six or seven benedryls every night just to maybe catch a little sleep. Tolerance can build on it, so you have to be cautious about how much you’re taking.

I wish I had some better way to help, I’m so sorry for this long ass paragraph, I really hope I was able to answer some questions but please feel free to ask more if you need some clarification or anything else. I’m sorry that your doctors aren’t helping you, I know how fucking awful it is to deal with. I’m sorry if I didn���t make any sense at all but I hope I did, let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help. You’ve got this 🫂💖💖💖💖

[jennathearcher]

I was tagged by the always wonderful @gellavonhamster to post four characters that make me go "my man, my man, my man!!"

(I've done an images-only version of this post previously, but I'm thrilled to elaborate on WHY I adore said characters here :P)

Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives)

(fanart credit here)

How do I begin to explain Jonathan Archivist? He's flawless :P In all seriousness, Jon is legit one of the best, most complex characters I've ever seen in media, and perhaps one of the first characters to ever make me go "THAT ONE. MINE." XD

The best part is when I first started listening to the podcast, and didn't really know WHERE it was going to go or how big the story was going to become, I had s1 Jon who is kind of an asshole and I was SO frustrated by his skepticism CONSTANTLY XD then the end of s1 rolls around, s2 illustrates a character arc that encapsulates the immediate aftermath of a severe trauma SO well, and by the end of s2, I had my ".....oh. Oh no" moment :P

Jon spends pretty much the rest of the series just GOING THROUGH IT in one way or another, and pretty consistently going "This is fine" about all of it even though he is Very Not Fine :P I want to just wrap this man in a big cozy blanket and TAKE CARE OF HIM. Because Jon goes through so much of his whole storyline.....essentially ALONE and it DRIVES ME BONKERS XD There's a point in this series where Jon has pretty much lost every friend he's ever had and it is HEARTBREAKING.

But also, his transformation throughout the series :P I don't want to go into TOO much detail here for spoiler reasons, but god. Jon has moments especially in the latter half of the series where he is SCARY. HE IS POWERFUL. AND HE IS GODDAMN SEXY :P (my bestie likes to listen to s5 episodes with me and laugh maniacally over me Losing My Shit from sheer simp-itude XD)

Also, bonus points for being a Canon Asexual 8D like me!! <3

Johnny Silverhand (Cyberpunk 2077)

Oh, Johnny, Johnny <3 I pretty much went into this game knowing he was gonna steal my heart, but even then, I was utterly unprepared for just how attached I would become :3

A lot of that is due to playing as a POV character that you essentially craft yourself from the ground up -- prime real estate for a self insert lover like myself XD And despite there being a myriad of colorful characters in the world of Cyberpunk, four of which you can romance, everyone can pretty much agree that Johnny is by far the most important character to the PC, who has the placeholder moniker of V.

The basics of the game's story are that your character, V, is a mercenary in the postapocalyptic world of 2077, and they are betrayed and nearly killed by one of their clients -- their life only being saved due to the presence of a chip they installed in their head during a job, without realizing said chip contained, essentially, the soul of Johnny Silverhand; a rock star turned terrorist who died in 2023.

The main plot of the game focuses on V's attempts to stabilize Johnny's presence in their brain, before the chip eventually overwrites their consciousness and kills them. A lot of that depends on the player's interactions with Johnny throughout the game, but as you can imagine, literally sharing a brain and body with someone can be quite the bonding experience :P

Especially because Johnny is a MESS. He's an alcoholic and drug addict who hides his supreme self-loathing behind a seemingly massive ego -- who talks a big game about his hatred of capitalism but in reality blew up the biggest conglomerate in the city because his girlfriend died (and it was his fault) and he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings.

The moments in the game when Johnny actually opens up to V are CAPTIVATING, certainly in part due to a masterful performance from Keanu Reeves :P This is one of those games that just grabs you with its immersion, and got me genuinely emotional several times during my first playthrough. (One day, I'll get the chance to play it again :P one day XD)

Plus there's also the aspect of building my own personal canon for my V and her relationship with Johnny, and all that adds up to holding a very special place in my heart :3

Gale Dekarios (Baldur's Gate 3)

I. LOVE. THIS. STUPID. WIZARD. SO. DAMN. MUCH.

Of course I jumped onto the BG3 train for Astarion and ended up falling head-over for the character I most commonly heard referred to as annoying :P

A dorky wizard you say? Who's highly autistic coded? Loves books and his cat? Strongly implied to be an abuse survivor at the hands of an older female partner? AND HE'S SUICIDAL??? I didn't stand a fucking chance :P

I just love listening to him talk so much XD and thank god because he never shuts up :P Nothing like a guy who thinks he's the smartest man in the room who is, IN FACT, very very dumb <3

And lest we forget if you keep him around until the third act of the game, he decides his new coping mechanism is SEEKING GODLY POWER like babe please calm down XD

I've done pretty much all of his possible endings so far outside of doing his origin run (aka playing through the whole game as him), and I just. LOVE HIM SO MUCH <3 I'm excited to romance him again, especially since I missed out on stuff the first time XD Every time I start a new playthrough I end up half-romancing him anyway because I CAN'T HELP MYSELF :P ultimately breaking my own heart when I have to commit to the character I originally set out to romance in the first place XD and he's always the first companion I get to the Exceptional approval level :3

that's my emotional support wizard :P and I WILL make him useful by juicing him up with all the good spells, thank you VERY MUCH XD

Black Leg Sanji (One Piece)

You all knew this was coming :P

Hey, you ever casually look at a fun pirate manga here and there as a teenager without ever really getting into it, but you know EXACTLY which character would be your fave and just kinda tuck that away in the back of your mind?

And then some odd years later, that manga gets adapted into an extremely successful and astonishingly well made live action Netflix series that is much more accessible to you than the source material?

And THEN that gets you engaging with more and more of the source material's fan content until you still haven't even watched the anime proper yet and somehow THIS has happened to you??

Anyway moral of the story is that your first instinct as to what character is going to be your favorite it always right no matter what :P OH MY GOD WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME

I just. Love him SO MUCH.

He cooks. He fights by KICKING PEOPLE REALLY HARD. Like SO hard. Hard enough that he can SHATTER CONCRETE WALLS??? WITH HIS HANDS IN HIS POCKETS LIKE HE'S ORANGE CASSIDY.

He smokes CONSTANTLY. He's ALWAYS associated with fire. He LIGHTS HIMSELF ON FIRE FOR COMBAT PURPOSES. And yet he has the most water elemental oriented soul I've EVER SEEN. (and CHRIST HOW IS HE SO FUCKING SHREDDED--)

He's 80% Leg. His EYEBROWS do the fucking THING. He's FRENCH. The extent of his post-timeskip transformation is PARTING HIS HAIR DIFFERENTLY. His name is a PUN. He is AN IDIOT and also SO SMART. He has to have 17 karmic punishments from the narrative before we ever get to his tragic backstory. His adoptive dad ate his own foot.

He's a Hopeless Romantic. He COMPLETELY FORGETS HOW TO ACT every time he so much as Sees A Woman at thirty paces. He gets so many comedic anime nosebleeds that it becomes A PLOT POINT. He has a CODE OF CHIVALRY that actually makes sense kind of (especially once you know his tragic backstory).

Lest we forget to mention that he's part of a FOUND FAMILY!!!! He has SO much love to give and his love language is all of them :P A different one for each person on the crew, as far as I can tell. With Zoro it's "the only person who's allowed to kill you is me, dammit" XD

ALSO!!!!! COME TO FIND OUT HE'S AN ACTUAL FUCKING PRINCE THAT'S JUST CASUALLY THROWN OUT THERE I JUST FLDKJAFLKDAFJLDSAF

I just. Husband Material. HUSBAND. I wanna lock that shit down SO BAD. I'm AS OBSESSED WITH HIM as he is with EVERYONE ELSE and by god I am making it the problem of all of my followers :P

~

tagging (with no pressure) @pink-cenobite @talesfromthecrypts @piratespencil @thebarefootking @damngoodbabysiitter @lady-phasma and anyone else who wants to do the thing!! <3

[xenosagaepisodeone]

❗️Low effort xenoposting because my coworker went to sleep and i have nothing to do at work right now❗️

"shion and kos-mos' relationship is familial" shouldn't be considered The reading of their relationship as often as it is given that their development in Ep. I is built around actively refuting it. shion begins the series treating kos-mos as her child as a maladaptive means of coping with kevin's death. kevin likened the development of the kos-mos archetype as him and shion having a baby, and shion proactively continues to treat kos-mos this way not to honor his memory, but because she cannot let him go. kevin is alive so long as kos-mos is not allowed to be. she expresses in their opening cutscene together that she doesn't want kos-mos to awaken from the virtual reality training sim they converse in because it would mean that she functionally could no longer be in denial about what kos-mos is - a weapon.

one of shion's core character conflicts in Ep. I is how confused, frustrated, and to some extent, scared of kos-mos' personhood she is (as well as how the kevin variable interferes with overcoming this). shion is someone who relies on control to navigate her relationships because of how deeply unpredictability frightens her; this is best exhibited when its revealed that she keeps realian self destruct codes despite believing in realian rights. she feels an inexplicable affection toward kos-mos and a desire to get closer to her, which runs in direct conflict with her desire to merely possess kos-mos as some kind of inert child-like figure. one of the reasons she freaks out after kos-mos kills virgil because it is the first time she is confronted with the reality that kos-mos is an autonomous force to be reckoned with, not her baby, and kevin is gone. repeatedly from that point, shion is given a choice: she can pursue kos-mos' absolute obedience at the expense of everything that she was created for and all of the lives she was meant to save, or she can learn to support kos-mos on her own terms, and embrace kos-mos as a genuine friend, confidant and partner at the expense of doing away with the inkling of attachment she has to kevin's ghost.

it comes to a head at the end of Ep.I where shion is given the choice to let kos-mos stay behind so everyone can escape albedo's ship- a scene that intentionally calls back to the ending of the first level where shion almost dies by refusing to pull out of the simulation. it's not 1:1 as that cutscene was intended to illustrate that yes, shion is depressed and suicidally devoted to kevin's vision, but in tandem with her character development, the contrast between shion in the beginning and the end of Ep. I is palpable: she wants to live, she has people she wants to protect, and by allowing kos-mos to stay behind, she is also starting to realizing that loving others means respecting and trusting them, even if being unable to secure the outcome of your relationship with them is scary.

space gay people slay

[randomdegu]

I completely and honestly dont mean some things said. I'm just pissed off and keeping it in is making things worse, the qsmp is amazing and everyone included in it is doing so well!! The admins are very good at what they are doing, and I hope they get all the credit they deserve <3

I'm just pissed off at the fact that the players arent given a chance to WIN. If you really look at the code its obvious that they are in creative mode, which means that the players are basically being told "hey I'm invincible and you cant do shit about what I'm going to do to your eggs, the things we know you're attached to". They arent given a chance to fight and win, which if you think about it is possible for it to stay difficult but also give some hope that they COULD win and hell even have them completely eradicate it, the binary entity dying in a cannon/lore situation would be awesome/satisfying plus giving the obro team more information. It's unfair and it will come to the point that everyone is getting to the point that it's no longer fun, the smp will slowly die out. I think the admins are doing well ofc, but all of them need to realize that it's not fun anymore. The binary entity was cool when phil and fit fought it because they could actually KILL it, but it was still challenging to fight it. Now that it's all powerful and is impossible to win against it's getting frustrating, I thought in the beginning that it was genuinely cool and it would be an amazing addition for lore! Now I am just done with it, I've seen how paranoid the CCs have gotten and the guilt when they cant win and someone dies. It's gone to far in my opinion, the qsmp team needs to seriously look at how the players and viewers react to the binary entity. Yes it's cool for lore, sure it's a challenge. BUT an IMPOSSIBLE one, keeping the eggs safe is now IMPOSSIBLE. I had to stop watching last night because I was so mad, I wasnt having fun like usual. I was just pissed off that the admins would do something like this, I'm still kinda mad at them.

On another note, the egg event is going to end horribly. Everyone is going to be so mad, hurt, or just done with continuing the qsmp. Its hurting the CCs in different ways, and us the viewers are also getting hurt with every single life that gets taken away. I love the eggs and I want them to stay of course, but it doesnt need to stop for the well being of the players. I actually got scared for bad when dapper died, and how angry phil was when tallulah lost a life? It's very scary, I hope the eggs will be fine but I really value the CCs more. The code entity just isnt the way it should go.

All in all, the binary entity needs to seriously have a huge change. The admins are doing a great job, but I'm still mad.

[hatgame]

Hat kid please hat kid

Okkk sooooo

species hc: she and bow are both sentient time pieces of sorts, rewinding time when damaged enough to when they were fine and thus being kind of immortal. the only people aware of the rewinds are the undead

more under the cut

i really like shane frosts backstory for her: her parents forced her to grow up earlier than necessary and she made the decision to run away, which, leaving her to fend for herself, forced her to grow up as well. its a sad story, but hat kids not necessarily a sad kid.

i used to commonly portray her as sleepy and calm, her head in the clouds, and while i still think of her that way a lot, shes become much more multifaceted to me nowadays.. i think this part of her is mainly evoked to me thru her being showed in bed both at the very beginning and end of the game, as well as (mainly blue) time rifts feeling like dream worlds.. as well as the game always feeling incredibly dream like to me.

shes also definitely impulsive and mischevious, often growing childishly malicious. refuses to view adults as an authority and so makes fun of or otherwise doesnt take seriously any who try to assert their dominance. if another kid tries to do that it might work though

also, while understandably not a skill most kids have, shes pretty good at not taking things to heart or otherwise distancing herself from situations or people. this is something she developed early when she ran away from her parents. that doesnt mean her fallout with mu didnt hurt her though..

shes a lonely kid craving recognition and attention despite sometimes willingly pushing people away. in the very beginning of the game, although very quietly, her alarm clock voices her todo list for the day, with one of the points being something along the lines of "draw faces on rocks and pretend theyre people" which, while obviously meant to be humorous, still hints at (or outright states) hat kids loneliness and lack of desire for solitude.

that said i do not think that's why she did the bff contract lol i think she did that out of pettiness and because she thought thatd be really funny. i dont think she wanted to genuinely befriend snatcher from seeing some hidden heart of gold in it. i think it was a bit

you could say shes canonically scared of them because shes portrayed as such in one of the final journey storybook pages

i agree but actually disagree. i personally believe this is her after their first encounter, before properly understanding what his deal is, not even necessarily tragic backstory wise.. in her diary entries she expresses infinite confusion and disbelief at being forced to do evil community service. which doesnt even seem to directly benefit the scary person thing. its making her deliver mail to its among us babies. also the justification for vanessas manor is so funny hes like steal something from there. and then he doesnt even ask to keep whatever hat kid takes. also she calls snatcher weird on multiple occasions like it just completely saturates her view of him. whatever initial intimidation she had just melts away because hes just some weird person thing. not even really malicious just abnormal

which is why its very hard for me to believe shes hurt by death wish. frustrated and gamer raging? sure lol. but i feel like its like Ohhhhh so this is just genuinely what dead people hanging out equivalent is like? trying to kill each other? (quality time w snatcher) ummmmm ok.. kind of weird though lol. but fun. she ❤️ outfit

ok now regarding the tsundere thing. i do not think she is sincere there. at all. i think shes making fun of him. with the only genuine implication being that the way he is behaving is not sincere. hes not necessarily soft just different. also shes like i do not know what this thing thinks of me. were friends i think. i dont know. (i think they become actual friends later on :) )

with empress i think shes actually intimidated by her, regards her pretty highly and gets actually scared and embarrassed when trying to get what is very clearly her stuff back. but not scared enough to not return to the metro or mess around eating food on the clock. i think they eventually make up

[thealmightyemprex]

SO did a Haunted MAnsion double feature

I watched both the 2003 Haunted Mansion and the Muppet Haunted Mansion,because theres a new Haunted Mansion film on the horizon .Gonna give quick thoughts on both

Haunted Mansion 2003 is a nostalgic fave,but I get the complaints by Mansion fans .As a fan of spooky comedies ,I think its a fun spooky family film :The zombie scene is scary ,Jennifer Tilly is pretty funny as Madam Leota , Wallace Shawn is always a plus ,production design and cinematagrophy are beautiful,I think the ballroom scene is the best use of Mansion iconagraphy,and the always amazing Terrance Stamp is PERFECT as the villainous butler Ramsley .as for the big issues,I get what the film is trying to do be a throwback to oldschool horror comedies where ya take a comedian and put him in a spooky setting (Which is a shame they werent able to get Don Knotts as the caretaker ,as I think it wouldve made that clearer ,been perfect casting and a fun call back to the fact he did a spooky comedy,Ghost and Mr Chicken ) but Eddie Murphy while I maintain works half the time with some funny lines,and I think he is mostly good ....Is hit and miss here and I really think hes not great in the sentimental moments .I also think most the Mansion iconagraphy,feels really forced ,and the movie feels like a generic haunted house movie ,and the fanservice scenes feel like just detours.I also dont quite understand the ghost rules but I can usually overlook that .Oh and Mansion fans,while I think the ending works....I get your frustration .So I personally like the movie as a spooky comedy ,but as an adaptation of the ride its not great,but I do think its not bad and is underrated

Muppet Haunted Mansion.....I dont love it at first but it did grow on me and overall enjoyed it .I think the big song is great ,Taraji P Henson and Will Arnet are perfectly cast,Dave Goelz is great as always as Gonzo ,The Old GOnzo puppet is genuinely disturbing (My lil Sibling said "I hoped they burnt that thing "),and while I prefer Gonzo and Rizzo,Pepe grew on me despite not being a Pepe fan .I also think it used Mansion iconography really great .....My issues are the begining is slow ,I dont think the celeb cameos work ,it was made dueing the pandemic so it doesnt look great and....Its a personal gripe....Why in this HALLOWEEN special are none of the guest stars spooky related ?? I did end up liking it ,but I dont love it

@ariel-seagull-wings @filmcityworld1 @the-blue-fairie @angelixgutz @scarletblumburtonofeastlondon @amalthea9 @marquisedemasque @autistic-prince-cinderella @princesssarisa @themousefromfantasyland @theancientvaleofsoulmaking

[smilesrobotlover]

Ok Smiles I couldn’t find it anywhere but I’d love commentary on any part of that fic you wrote where Blue is touchstarved and the other colors comfort him abddhffh I love that one

-Sky Floor

Don’t worry bestie I got you. It’s right here

Ok, I honestly don’t know where I got the idea to write Blue the way I did. In the manga he’s a very angry and tough guy but he has a soft spot (he cries when they say goodbye :() so imagined it all goes a lot deeper than just anger. Originally I was gonna have Leon comfort Blue in the end but I decided it would’ve been better if the colors comforted him so that I have all of them in one fic you know? Now, I’m not a neat person, I don’t keep my room clean and while I do occasionally organize things, I’m not neat like Blue is. However I think I am very shy and reclusive and I really projected that onto him. I mean he doesn’t have that many connections in the manga. Green is the most like Link and is the leader and so I imagine that he and Zelda get along the best, Vio was close with Shadow, and while he’s rude too I don’t think he’d be shy. And Red is just a little Angel who I feel like would keep in touch with Erune and the kids! But Blue didn’t have that many connections to me. Except with the colors of course

Now the part where he looks for Green and Zelda and hears their laughter and decides not to join them is def something I’ve felt. The self consciousness and believing that people really don’t enjoy being around you is rough, they probably feel obligated to be around you and are just being polite. And it’s hard when you don’t know if they’re being genuine or polite. So you start to spiral into overthinking it all. Blue feels sad hearing Green and Zelda having fun and he doesn’t want to ruin anything, so he decides to stay alone. You know in movies or irl when you hear laughter and it just makes you feel hollow? Yeah that’s what I was trying to convey there.

The most frustrating part of being very shy and introverted is that you do eventually feel lonely. Whether you like it or not, humans are social creatures and we NEED connections. Even tho I can be alone for a while, I need to at least talk to someone. Blue has spent a lot of time alone and he begins to feel left out and hated and all that stuff. He can handle being alone, but not for a long time. And the most annoying thing is that there’s a simple solution to loneliness, go out, socialize, make friends, all that. But it’s really not that easy. I’ve been told so many times that I need to go out and be with people more, and I KNOW that, I know that I get lonely and I know that I need to at least hang out with some people sometimes, but It’s HARD. It’s so hard and people who don’t struggle socially DO NOT understand how hard it is. I feel like I get super anxious whenever I’m in small groups of people where I have to hold up some conversation, big groups is fine but going to a grocery store or trying to find a job or calling someone on the phone is scary and I hate it, and no one seems to understand it. I tried to convey this with Blue, and even the blame that I put on myself on him. He keeps saying that it’s his fault that he’s lonely and that he’s friendless. He won’t go out and talk to people, he won’t make the effort to reach out, therefore HE shouldn’t have the right to even complain about it because HE can solve the issue so easily. And he doesn’t feel like he can talk to people about it because they’ll say “you need to go out and socialize” or something like that so he doesn’t say anything cuz it’s his fault. I just kinda wish that some people understood that not everyone’s strong enough to reach out on their own. And that just talking to people can be terrifying.

And the part where Blue is watching everyone have fun, and the feeling of being left out. It HURTS. It’s hurts so bad, and it’s worse cuz you know that the problem will be solved if you just move to join them and to have fun but you’re so upset that you don’t know how to do anything else except to curl up alone in your room. You don’t know if you’ll even be in the write mood to have fun, you don’t know if you’ll ruin their fun with your presence, you don’t know if they even want you there. I’ve def felt that too many times and it’s so so hard. Now the part where the colors come in and comfort him hasn’t actually happened to me eheh…. But it was needed for him. The colors love Blue and they do want to be with him, Blue was just overthinking and they didn’t know that he was feeling that way because he didn’t say anything. Also the nickname blueberry I felt was very cute lol. And it’s def something Red would call him.

Idk I’m not a touchy person but sometimes a hug goes a long way, sometimes you may need a hug. And yeah, that’s all I have to say about that dhksbsksbsk hope it was a fun read and I’m glad you like it!