#genuinely quoting a post i found btw

[kittykittykittykittykittykity]

the Cisgender(tm) lesbians in the gumlee tags who engage in infighting and gender separitism owe me 500 dollars in compensation for the secondhand embarrassment i get from seeing the way yall act

[massiveladycat]

i will never get over people laughing at octavian's death personally,,, he was SHOT INTO THE AIR!!! thats so painful. all the burns and the impact, plus being flung from a cannon and probably slamming into gaia (literal earth goddess) plus festus (gigantic metal dragon, i bet that HURT) and leo (pretty sure leo was burning)

he was a kid and he was annoying to some people and he was usually antagonized but he didnt deserve to die OR go out in that way. the gods are a thousand times worse than octavian, and apollo told him that he'd be a savior of new rome, but people still justify them. not to mind there are much worse people in the PJO universe (gabe, LUKE)

octavian ily they could never make me hate you EVER. idc what you say he could have been redeemed. did he do bad things? yes. but he was so deeply influenced and the day meeting with leo and the others, in which i remind you octavian literally was watching new rome get blown up (no wonder he was livid, his home was on FIRE).

like come on. octavian is a complex character and people aren't willing to admit that he could've been better and he was just a literal teenager in the sake of hating him because everyone else/pjo characters hate him.

he is such a tragic character imo because he grew up in new rome and all he wanted to do was protect it (and he was highly ambitious and aiming for praetor, i won't deny the fact that he was selfish but that is a quality that can be REDEEMED) and sure the way he went about it was messed up but most of his actions (except killing that one centurion) were justifiable

btw im not saying octavian's like an angel or anything im pretty sure i remember him "killing" a 5th cohort centurion once but then she was revived which . . . what was the point of that?? was it just to like make us hate him more?? huh??? and then was it even ever talked about again?? also yeah he blackmailed hazel thats not good also judging from the wikipedia it only said frank suspected octavian because.. he didn't have his spear?? what?? reminder that there is proof that a lot of pjo characters are unreliable narrators and for all we know octavian could've screwed up somehow and left his spear somewhere (just saying i'd do that too ngl)

also "I am the savior of Rome! I was promised!" i didnt know why but that quote DESTROYED me but now i know that it was because he genuinely believed he was doing the best for new rome and he'd finally have someone's praise and they'd praise him like they praised percy and reyna. pretty sure his mental state was not very good in that scene either and nico and will just let him shoot himself out of an onager on accident. also are we just going to gloss over the fact apollo told him that and encouraged him he was doing the right thing?? of COURSE octavian trusted apollo on that and believed it was the truth; apollo was his ancestor and someone he worshipped as an augur and trusted in for omens and prophecies and allat

yeah. octavian's an asshole. but he was a kid and he couldve been redeemed. then again i am a huge octavian apologist and im not saying you have to have the same opinions as i do also i will not be responding to any asks in my inbox im 2 tired to deal with that!! anyways dont go and insult people or me if you think the opposite thats fine !! i was just bored and found this in my drafts so whats the harm of posting it because im not going to get sent threats over this right,,, right??????

[angstflavoured]

A little fiddauthor analysis...

Making this post mostly just to get all of my thoughts out about it regarding how I think it is inherently very toxic on both ends, despite people treating it as more wholesome near the beginning when they were both younger… and the fact that I think it’s very incredibly one-sided. I’m strictly going to be talking about CANON events, not headcanons or speculations or AU’s. If you wanna draw Fiddleford and Ford being cute and hugging and dating, I don’t care, I like a lot of the content for them myself. It isn’t canon to the show and doesn’t affect or harm anybody. That’s what a fandom is and I’m not trying to police anyone, I just think a lot of people misinterpret their relationship and thought it would be fun to talk about it because I find their dynamic really interesting. I’m going to be using a lot of direct quotes and scenes from Ford’s journal, TBOB, and the show, so buckle in baby ! This was supposed to be a quicker and smaller one while I work on my Billford essay, but I had a lot more to say than I thought…

First off, it’s interesting to see how Ford thinks their interaction after so long is going to go. In Journal 3 he says he has “no choice” but to call Fiddleford up to work on the portal because Ford just doesn’t have the smarts to do what he wants to do himself, and he thinks he’s going to have to literally beg Fiddleford to join him. But as we see in the journal and in the show, it hardly takes ANY convincing at all for Fiddleford to drop everything he was doing and leave his wife and kid for months on end to work on a project he knows nothing about. All the info he has he got over a short phone call. It seems like Ford, at this point being so close with Bill and thinking he’s the only one who cares about him, just assumed that most people he used to talk with don’t think about him anymore. He’s had Bill whispering in his ear that he’s the only one who understands him, so it makes sense he doesn’t think Fiddleford will want to do this with him. But from what it looks like, Fiddleford either has been waiting every second for Ford specifically to get back to him, or just has been waiting for any excuse to get the hell away from his family which is… yeesh. Either way, not very healthy regarding his wife and kid. He doesn’t seem to really care all that much about either of them, but more on that later.

Obviously Ford cares about Fiddleford, as soon as he comes down to live with him, Ford hasn’t been so happy in a good while. He missed human connection, despite how good things were going with Bill. Having another person there to talk with was nice. Despite Fiddleford having strange quirks that did irk Ford, he found them endearing and genuinely felt better in his company.

But I think the biggest thing here a lot of people overlook is that Ford only ever refers to Fiddleford as his college buddy in the show, and in the journals as “my assistant.” I’ve seen so many people have Ford call him his partner, but he actually only calls him this like once in the show i think. It’s always my assistant, my research, my theory. Which is funny because Ford didn’t come up with any of this stuff with the portal on his own. Bill was the one that gave him the blueprints. Fiddleford even questions Ford at one point, asking if he had help coming up with them because of how complex they are, and Ford decidedly DOESN’T mention Bill and instead tells him “with hard work, anything is possible.” (Btw he does refer to Bill as his partner multiple times… just sayin.)

The way he talks to and about Fiddleford, Ford is always talking down. He does think that Fiddleford is smart and does think he has a brilliant mind, but he still thinks that he’s below him.

Because Ford has Bill.

And oh my lord, do I not see anyone talk about this. Soooo many comics always depict Fiddleford knowing about Bill existence, but I think the biggest roadblock with their ship and a huge point of contention is that Fiddleford never canonically knows about Ford’s relationship with Bill until after he’s already lost his mind when he’s old. He doesn’t even KNOW that he exists until he’s half sucked through the portal. People ignore this, but it’s so important to their dynamic. Ford doesn’t think that Fiddleford could handle it, and he doesn’t think he necessarily deserves to know. Because Bill is Fords thing. Their relationship is special. Ford is special.

Ford claims he doesn’t tell Fiddleford about Bill because he would throw him in a looney bin, despite their research being so whimsical and ridiculous already. They’re literally building a portal to a different dimension, Fiddleford would’ve believed him. And the way Ford talks about it, you can tell it’s less about Fiddleford thinking he’s crazy and more about something else.

Could F ever truly appreciate the complex fates that brought me and my Muse together?

He doesn’t think Fiddleford could APPRECIATE it. The language he uses, you can tell that Ford knows that Fiddleford would see right through Bill’s facade. And Ford doesn’t want that because he wants to be friends with Bill and he wants to be special, and he’d rather hide Bill and stay in denial than tell his dearest friend, just so he can feel special a little longer.

This is why I think as much as Fiddleford’s romantic feelings for Ford were there, it never ended up going anywhere. Ford would always choose Bill over him. When Fiddleford got him the axolotl pet, Ford quickly threw it out and lied about it to Fiddleford just because Bill told him to. And there’s multiple cases of interactions like this, where Bill will talk down about Fiddleford and Ford will just be like damn… yeah. Here’s a journal excerpt from TBOB around Christmas time. For context, Ford got into a huge fight with a monster and tried to contact Bill to help him, but he didn’t come. And then Bill randomly shows up later when Ford’s at home decorating.

I was almost roasted by Krampus, and where was he? Off inspiring some other scientist? Posing for some tapestry? Were we even partners? He threw the accusation back in my face. “Hey, I’m not the one skipping portal work to carouse with a third-wheel hillbilly with second thoughts about our project!” I started to argue--but he had a point. F has seemed less and less committed to work lately.

Which is INSANE !!! when we see that only a fucking page ago, Fiddleford was explaining how he got in a fight with his wife because he didn’t get her a present for Christmas. After spending multiple weeks and making multiple prototypes for a pair of 6 fingered gloves for Ford.

And if we hop back to Journal 3, there’s a particular interaction with them which is crazy to me. While hiking up a mountain to go to Crash Site Omega, they get into a fight with the Gremloblin, which fucking swoops up Fiddleford into the sky. In Ford’s attempt to get him down, they both end up falling down through the roof of a barn, where Fiddleford gets stuck full of quills and breaks his arm.

Despite our fortune, I have become worried about my assistant. I was able to treat his physical wounds, but I fear there are mental wounds not as easily remedied. For the past several nights, he has been unable to sleep, apparently still haunted by the Gremloblin’s gaze. More alarming is his Cubic’s Cube. It has sat scrambled, unfixed, on his desk for days. I myself have survived many monster attacks without trauma, but perhaps F is more sensitive than I realized…

OH. MY. GOD. The way that Ford talks so condescendingly is enough to make any person's blood boil. It’s the same way when Fiddleford gets sucked through the portal, and when Fiddleford gets pulled back, Ford’s first words out of his mouth are “WHAT DID YOU SEE!”

As much as he cared for Fiddleford… he has no regard at all for Fiddlefords VERY VALID feelings about events that would traumatize literally anyone. But he just pats Fiddlefords back and tells him to get used to it because this is just part of the job and he shouldn’t be whining so much. He does nothing to properly comfort him and scoffs it off like “apparently he’s ‘TRAMATIZED’ or something. I’ve been through so much worse and never had a problem, I don’t get what his issue is.” And then ford is SURPRISED AND APPALLED when Fiddleford creates the memory gun.

Which oohhhhh lord, the memory gun. jesus christ. Such a big example of the distrust between them on both sides. Fiddleford literally canonically lied about destroying the gun and then erased Fords memory about it so that he could erase his own memories in secret without him knowing. And also probably fords sometimes! Not completely canon, but like…. Fiddleford did it once, I wouldn’t put it past the guy. And then when they go to the carnival, Fiddleford hands out his fucking card to Ivan (the leader of the society of the blind eye, who was a teen/early 20s at the time) so that he can erase memories for him that he didn’t like.

Biggest thing we can take away from everything regarding Fiddleford’s character, is that he always takes the easy way out. He ran away from his family he obviously didn’t really care for as much as he should’ve because that was easier than talking it out or divorcing. He pushed it aside for later. Bro was literally looking for a fucken Brokeback Mountain situation, but Ford wasn’t giving anything back to him. So instead Fiddleford constantly made a fool of himself doing things for Ford and tripping over himself to show his gratitude when all the while Ford was entirely focused on Bill. and then he just goes around and starts erasing memories, because it’s easier than having to actually deal with things. Which is why I don’t foresee a reality in which Fiddauthor makes sense, in the way they actually end up doing anything together. Because Fiddleford’s too much of a coward to admit his feelings first, and Ford obviously has his sights on someone else.

And here’s the BIGGEST damning thing, like oh my god.

In Journal 3, Ford goes to a fortune teller (which don’t get me fucking started on how judgy he is to her and how much he talks down about her, DESPITE HER BEING LEGIT AND ACTUALLY WARNING HIM). Long story short, she gives Ford a spiel about how someone close to him is deceiving him. She then gives him a mood ring and says “when this is blue, you may pull through. When this is black, you can’t turn back.”

And LO AND BEHOLD!! OH MY FUCKING GOD, when they’re at the carnival and Fiddleford is talking to Ivan and whispering--

Ford. Looks down. To check if the ring is black.

I took one last look down at my hand and was strangely relieved to find that the palm reader’s ring was still blue. I shoved it in my pocket, collected F, and tried to put the whole experience out of my mind.

FORD LITERALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THE IDEA OF FIDDLEFORD BETRAYING HIM BEFORE BILL. IN FACT, HE LITERALLY NEVER MENTIONS THINKING IT WAS BILL ONCE.

He talks about how they got into a fight at dinner the night before the portal test because Fiddleford was having second thoughts about it being dangerous, and Ford told him to be there or he would get left behind. He’d do it without him.

And when Fiddleford gets pulled through the portal and quits the project, Ford says gooooddd fucking riddance, I never even needed you bro.

F, you weak-willed hayseed! Go back to your doting family and a life of fear and compromise! I weep now not for our failed partnership, but for the golden opportunity thrown away. To think I considered him a friend! I know my true friend. It is my Muse.

One of the few times he ever refers to it as partnership btw. Literally only when they break everything off.

And Ford only starts fighting with Bill about everything after it starts directly hurting him. It literally just seems like Ford is less upset about Bill’s plan being evil, and more upset at the fact that he lied to Ford LMAOOOOO he didn’t like the fact that he was disposable and lesser to Bill, despite Ford treating Fiddleford the exact same way.

At the end of all of this… it may seem like I’m really fighting against this ship, but not in the slightest. I LOVEEEE them so much, but in a way where it would be really toxic and not actually end up with anything happening.

Such a biggg theme when it comes to Ford’s character specifically is yearning. He yearns for success and attention and love and acceptance, but he’s constantly never giving other people those things. Which ends in him not receiving any in return. That is obviously until he gets back from dimension hopping and works on being a better person. When he starts towards healing, that’s when he starts receiving what he always wanted.

There’s so much tension between Ford and Fiddleford it's like disgusting, they were so incredibly gay… but, I hate to say it, it was very one-sided. They did have some fun times together and Ford enjoyed his company for quite a bit, but it was nothing like how Fiddleford felt for him. Fiddleford was always thinking about how Ford was feeling and what he was doing, and Ford never really did that for Fiddleford unless he was prompted to. But he was alwayasyayayss thinking about how Bill felt. And he always chose Bill in the end.

I just see so much of all of this get swept under the rug and never addressed, when it's kind of sad because it’s all so interesting and really adds a lot to both of their characters. They were both so morally gray back in their day, and honestly even more so now that they’re older, and its kinda sad to see that all go ignored. I JUST LOVE TOXIC GAYS SM AND THEY WERE SO TOXIC AND I’D LOVE TO SEE PEOPLE EXPLORE THAT MORE. Hopefully maybe this will prompt some people to think about it like this…….. It’s all so very tragic and their relationship was doomed from the start and i loveeeee shit like that. only misery to be had...

[catras-breakup-song]

i’m not gonna lie… i’m lost here. is this supposed to be an 4nt1/cr1t1c4l post? if so, i genuinely don’t understand the point being made.

is it that playful banter is a bad thing? is it that being too hands-on violates unspoken boundaries? the message is so unclear to my autistic ass…

oh, wait, OP provided tags:

so aside from the fact that they are absolutely not sisters by default, least of all canonically (even if you do interpret them that way somehow), nor was it ever intended by nate stevenson, i’m still having trouble figuring out how this is problematic.

in which ways is lighthearted touch totally contradictory to passionate kissing/caressing? why can’t partners who are dating do both, especially in different cultural environments such as the horde where intimacy is discouraged and friendly sparring with familiar peers is a safe expression? if it’s so different, what are we as the audience supposed to interpret from their style of physical affection by the final season? side note, but aren’t we supposed to consider the latest version of anything in general as the most accurate?

now i have a question lol, did you take this moment literally at her word, and all the other times she repeated it?

also, my friend just pointed out that this is the classic homophobic talking point of "they seem to just be very good friends! they were roommates!" lmao. i've never agreed with accusing anyone who cr1t1c1z3s catradora of lesbophobia, which i'm not doing necessarily, because that's simply not how it works, however i found this funny and partially true so i'm keeping it in.

the lip bite was included unintentionally 👀

anyway, as i’ve discussed on this blog before, i’m very arospec and it’s inseparably intwined with my identity itself; i also project that onto catra. something we often bring up in that community, is romance-favorability (as its own spectrum of range all the way to blatant repulsion btw) — which is a personal preference that’s defined as exactly as it sounds like and occasionally revolves around fictional depiction as separate from one's own reality — and arguably more importantly, amatonormativity — which is an arbitrary set of rules for romantic expectations set up by an alloromantic society. this is typically thought of as common denial of the idea that someone could actually want to separate themself from needing a life partner in marriage, but can very much be applied to an annoying list of what draws the line between romantic & platonic relationships. that line is very individualistic and is to be decided on such a level only, and it doesn’t even get into what queerplatonic means, a concept saved for another day!

my point is, the OP seems to be trying to claim that catradora objectively cannot be read as romantic because their dynamic growing up & early-on in the story doesn’t perfectly meet socially-constructed standards of what that should look like. i say we need to eradicate those standards altogether! it’s up to catradora to decide what they are, if anything specific at all, not us as the audience — assuming they could’ve had the words at their disposal to knowingly describe it. going back to my earlier paragraph above about how limited they were in the fright zone, i’ll borrow a quote from a comment i made on one of my recent reblogged posts (which is a great meta on how their mutual desire was uh... definitely not platonic):

"Catra and Adora’s desire for one another is shown in a variety of ways, mostly indirect. There are a lot of glances - until season 5, not the kind of open leering at one another that we’d seen between other characters. Mostly it’s fairly playful - wiggled or cocked eyebrows, glances at each other while smirking, that kind of thing, or really intense and somewhat angry glares when they’re fighting."

it's really bothering me that i can't recall where i read this from before, but someone analyzed before how, growing up, catra & adora didn't have a good sense of how to label their relationship with accurate terminology despite being subconsciously aware that they, whether they knew the other reciprocated or not, loved each other "like that." unfortunately, they couldn't further explore it because such love & affection was seen as a punishable weakness in the horde, so they resorted to the only safe option they seemed to have, which was subtle body language and play-fighting as [testudoaubrei-blog] described above.

also, since this screenshot is included in that post... i would be amused to read an explanation of how THIS LOOK from catra is "platonic with a capital P", because i'm not even sure if it's up for debate to be quite honest with you:

ESPECIALLY with the "i always have!" line (which 4nt1s like to doubt, but i don't care, it's official!):

[anxietycheesecake]

Piggybacking on one of your recent posts, they did worse than just give The Guide nothing to do and the MAGA speech, they turned her into a prop for the needs of male characters.

That was her entire purpose.

Offering insight about Nandor and his romance struggles and being a love interest for Nandor to underscore that if The Powers That Be wanted Nandor to be physically attracted to Guillermo and making intended, overt romantic statements, he would be acting towards him as he does The Guide, but he doesn't, so get your minds out of the gutter, their love is more profound than that.

Then because the Monster is horny, all of the vampires INCLUDING NADJA are completely okay with decapitating The Guide - A FELLOW SEVERAL HUNDRED YEARS OLD VAMPIRE - with or without her consent, and attach it to a frankenbody to be the Monster's sex doll.

Lazslo literally sneaks up on her with an electric saw.

That was it. We never saw her actually working with Jerry, just blink and you miss it moments.

(Also please try to imagine Season 1-2 Nadja, who actually cared about other women who were being shat on enough to turn her into her baby vamp and take her under her wing reacting like this and tell me her character hasn't been assassinated and that this show didn't fly off the rails.)

Wow, never gave the Guide that much thought (mostly BECAUSE THE WRITERS DON'T EITHER) but now I'm so viscerally pissed about it. You're 100% right. I mean, don't quote me on this, but this show got so distasteful regarding women and minorities when SF (a woman of color, btw) became less involved and left. She was still around in season 4 but didn't even write an ep, and mind you, up until that point, her eps were the only ones where Nandor stated the possibility of the love of his life being a man, after being confirmed multisexual for a while.

Marwa should've been a guywife and this is the hill I'm dying on. You can't make a middle eastern man take a middle eastern woman's agency away and ultimately turn her into a white man. The implications are unfortunate to say the least. Like, they were smart enough to have Guillermo be a man even when making him a woman was considered too (can you imagine having a Latina as a mistreated servant to a middle eastern man? The way that would've offended everyone lmao). This is such a gross and easily avoidable oversight, YOU LITERALLY GAVE THE DUDE MALE SPOUSES

Also comparing a brown man to an orc AND NOT SUBVERTING IT in the subversive show (I was so sure they were going to reveal the orcs were actually super hot at the end, because that's what early seasons would do). Just the fat jokes last season and the obsession with making it clear again and again that Guillermo is not wanted sexually by anyone in the horny monster society. I know the fandom thinks everyone's all over him but I genuinely believe this is collective delusion (affectionate) or fanfic brain because I can't remember any of this being backed by canon aside from the Guide's crush (also ftm sexual harassment is funny, I guess). Please correct me if I'm wrong. They changed their tune so many times it's hard to keep track.

Like, not to be that friend that's too woke, but when you have a diverse cast (except for black folks smh, though I'm glad they never went there) you need to be a bit more careful and responsible with what you put in their mouths. Come on!

Went on a bit of a tangent, sorry. My heart breaks for Kristen. Good for that main cast paycheck, but imagine having your character become a regular just for it to... Not be a regular? And be disrespected every second it's around without a satisfying conclusion? They seemed to understand back in the day that seeing a character be exaggeratedly mistreated constantly is only funny for a while, but they forgot, both with her and Guillermo.

I never liked the Guide. I found her entertaining on her first appearances but thought she changed the general feel of the comedy a little too much. To be honest, I always found it hard to care about her and Nadja, because the writers themselves never seemed that interested in them. But this is so annoying and makes me want to write sapphic fixits lmao

[specialagentartemis]

Do you have a Rowland version of the fish scene or is it just a general distaste? I mean this in absolutely genuine curiosity; I'm not particularly familiar with them, but I liked your criticism of Chambers's novels so I'm interested in your history with the originator of the whole hopepunk thing.

Okay, I admit I haven’t actually read any of their books, unless you count the 16,000 word whole ass novella of a Good Omens Season 2 theory, which I read every stupid word of. That whole thing is their Fish Scene, lol.

The thing is, Rowland has been my parasocial internet nemesis for… a long time. And part of it is petty and personal, and part of it is that they exemplify everything I dislike about certain swathes of the modern SFF zeitgeist.

Some years ago they wrote a twitter thread about how reading romance novels makes you a better person, about how fantasy novels have to hold your hand and explain things to you like you’re a child but romance novels assume you are a mature adult who already understands how Important romance is, that women are more emotionally mature and intelligent because they read romance and/or read romance because they are more emotionally mature and intelligent, and if you think you don’t like romance novels you just haven’t found the right one for you because you Will and Should read them to become a better person. I complained about the amatonormativity and gender essentialism of all this on my twitter, and linked back to it to show what I was talking about, and Rowland replied to me saying no I misunderstood, they were being amatonormative and gender essentialist in a cool, progressive, good way! I said that as an aromantic I was sick of being told that being a mature adult was inherently equivalent to liking and understanding and wanting romance, that being a woman meant that romance was mandatory, and their response was, and I quote, “I’m demisexual. Cool story.” Like uhhhhh being demisexual does not… prevent you… from being amatonormative, gender essentialist, or rude. This was on Christmas btw. I have resented them ever since.

(I learned later they wrote this thread in reaponse to the dramatic meltdown of the Romance Writers of America; twitter context death is real. I had not seen that part and had only seen their twitter thread about how reading romance makes you a better person because all adults Of Course understand and believe in romance.)

When they invented hopepunk, that cemented it.

I’ve complained in depth about my problems with hopepunk as both a theory and a practice in the past. It’s vacuous and the importance placed on it in the SFF world was so annoying. Rowland never managed to define hopepunk in a coherent way and yet acted like it was soooo important and they were soooooo important for advancing it. It was a big wad of nothing new, wrapped up in a vague sense that writing hopeful fiction causes good things to happen in reality like a form of sympathetic magic. This kicked off a very specific strain of sci-fi writers writing stories about how being a sci-fi writer is actually the most important job you can possibly do to change the world.

Rowland’s sense of self-importance comes through in every post they ever make on the internet. They act like they are God’s gift to queer literature despite going on to prove they do not understand jack shit about how stories are constructed. And they wrote 16,000 words proving it.

After the conclusion of Good Omens season 2, Rowland was upset that the season had been structured like act 2 of a trilogy rather than like a fully self contained romance novel with a happily-ever-after. Basically, Rowland decided that because season 2 of GO wasn’t what they wanted it to be, it was “badly written on purpose” and Neil Gaiman was secretly laying the groundwork to reveal that a higher power had been erasing and altering the main characters’ memories the whole time and that almost nothing of what was shown on screen in season 2 was “true” and it would all be retconned into a more straightforward romantic progression in season 3. Yes, advancing a “it was all a dream/illusion” twist as somehow better writing than… it was a comedy and a drama about Aziraphale feeling torn between his duty and his desires more than it was A Romance. It wasn’t what Rowland wanted it to be, which means it was Bad On Purpose and Gaiman would undo everything they didn’t like in s3.

This description captures neither the pervasively self-congratulatory nature of this essay, nor the absolute vapid verbosity that said nothing for thousands of words, nor the extent of the “secret good 4th Sherlock episode” spirit it gave off.

People IMMEDIATELY started making fun of it for being “The Johnlock Conspiracy… 2!” Because. It was. It REALLY was. Symbolism? Character development? Awkward dialogue? Characters changing outfits? Characters caring about other things besides just romance? Impossible! Clearly Metaton was erasing and altering Aziraphale and Crowley’s memories the whole time to break them up, and it would all be “fixed” in season 3. It was absurd. They spent 16,000 words arguing this and their evidence was mostly 1) I don’t understand how film visual language works 2) why are the episodes full of jokes I don’t think are funny 3) why does it end on a cliffhanger, this is a writing error 4) Neil Gaiman is such a perfect writer good at everything who has no flaws and makes no mistakes that anything I didn’t like must have been a Secret Code For Me To Decipher.

“When ur done u can tell me I’m an insane crackpot, and u know what, i won’t even be offended” Rowland wrote. This rather unsurprisingly turned out to be a lie. A bunch of people said that Rowland sounded like an insane crackpot and they got very, VERY offended. (See above: their conviction that everything they write is God’s gift to the SFF world.) They deleted the essay in a huff but the damage was done: I am fully convinced they don’t understand anything about how to construct a narrative that’s not the blandest romance with the most obvious characters and most self-important writing and the most preachy message about hope imaginable.

Also they were the one who wrote the infamous twitter thread about how Beau Brummel single handedly ruined men’s fashion. Because complexity cannot exist, and everything needs to be straightforward, every person or character needs to have a single driving trait, every event needs a single cause, every story needs the same structure, and they alone know how to give it to us, their adoring masses. (And if their masses are insufficiently adoring, they will write an angry tumblr post about it.)

They’re a bad writer and a deeply incurious, self-absorbed Internet Poster. There is no way their books are any good.

[dealingdreams]

The Acolyte s01e01 : Lost/Found

I'm going to put all my thoughts as I go into this one post, and at the end summarize some of my thoughts over the whole episode.

Also before you get any further just an fyi obviously there will be spoilers for this episode but I have already watched the whole season so I'll be referencing things later revealed so proceed with caution.

Notes while watching:

Mae's outfit is so fucking cool. I love the subtle pattern on her cloak.

She does crack me up...she's so dramatic 'attack me with all your strength'

I love this when Indara says 'the Jedi do not attack the unarmed' and Mae's response is 'yes, you do' what an efficient way of peeking interest into what this conflict is about.

I also idk. I don't know how to explain this well but...I don't like when shows make their characters unnaturally gifted. Like Indara has been doing this for a long time so her fight skill would have been better than Mae's so I like that it indeed was yaknow. Mae however, doesn't fight fair which also love.

Osha waking up and putting her hand over her heart...right where Indara was stabbed. I think this was the first real sign that Osha might feel like she hasn't been accessing the force she still is very connected to it.

Little hints at what to come there with the trade federation needing shields prepared. Love to see it.

Osha is so snarky.

Osha is doing an illegal job btw

She does seem genuinely happy to see Yord. It kinda what makes him reaching for his saber even more upsetting.

Sol's quote 'close your eyes, your eyes deceive you' really fucks me up when you think about how that's exactly what Sol's eyes did. He saw something he didn't completely understand, he had good intentions but ultimately he let it blind him.

I like the texture they did to Vernestra's makeup

I do like that Sol immediately was in Osha's corner.

I think Osha's kindness is so sweet. she immediately was concerned for that prisoners wellbeing and saved his life when she could have just left him.

Amandla's scream is so good.

Sol saying let me take accountability is interesting. I think he always was caught between genuinely believing he did the right thing and knowing he was in the wrong. I don't think you need to justify your actions if you genuinely think you were right yaknow.

Yord steaming his cloak cracks me up.

'as above sits the stars, and below lies the sea. I give you you, and you give me me' very as above so below vibes. I feel like the twins might be destined to remain on opposite sides.

I don't think Sol remotely thought Mae was dead when Jecki asked him.

Yord is that know it all in your intro to sociology class.

I think Osha slipping was more to show us her disconnection with the force.

"the Jedi live in a dream. A dream they believe everyone shares. If you attack a Jedi with a weapon you will fail. Steel or laser are not threat to them. But an Acolyte an Acolyte kills without a weapon. An acolyte kills a the dream."

See, I think everything The Stranger says is layered. He's talking about killing without a weapon but also that it's more than the physical death of the Jedi...but the dream as well. This idea of the Jedi supremacy, that they are so powerful. That only the Jedi can access the force. Anyone Killing a Jedi without the use of a weapon would ultimately show that there are others that are capable of using the force.

Anyways so thoughts:

I think this episode was immediately engaging. I really enjoyed how the set up the characters...layed some hints on what is to come. Overall I think it is a solid pilot episode.

Also I think it's heartbreaking that Osha has so much faith in the Jedi but aside from Sol they all were very much convinced of her guilt from the jump. Sure her having a twin wasn't in her file but they had her convicted before they even really investigated it.

Amandla carried herself just a bit different for Mae than with Osha and I adore that. She is so amazing.

Anyways love it...I also think this is the type of show that gets better with every rewatch it's so rich.

[remy2fang]

A.K.I. Lore Predictions from 2022

I have permission to post our conversation from a tiny private discord server. We’re mostly F.A.N.G girls and Shadaloo enthusiasts.

I was looking at our silly old speculations about A.K.I. back in early June 2022…and many of them end up being correct lol. This was the time when no one has any idea what her character was going to be like. SF6 was set to launch on June 2, 2023 and A.K.I. dlc would be released on September 27, 2023. In June 2022, we only had the roster leak picture and that’s it. The only clues we had that time was her acronym name, nationality, and purple claws, which points to F.A.N.G for those who actually saw the connection. But even then, a lot of people at the time thought she had no affiliation with F.A.N.G because they look so different from each other …and that most people didn’t notice any FANG traits from her. Also, a lot of people initially thought she had a Vega connection because of the claws. Another character people thought she was associated with was Kurow Kirishima from Rival Schools because they both look similar with their hair color, clothes, and …claws.

Nevertheless, I think our discord thoughts hit the target in several places. One friend was right that AKI is FANG’s biggest fan (we still referred to her as Phantom at the time because of the TOXICITY story). Comatozoid was right that Bison found someone else, but it’s Rosinante the horse LOL! And Bison has a soft spot for him. Fumi was right that AKI is a top, because official art have her chasing/trapping a reluctant FANG lol 😂😂

Minareee3 was right with the character dynamics in which AKI loves FANG but FANG told her “No,” which is basically canon in SF6. And I said that AKI doesn’t want Bison’s attention towards her because in-game she wants FANG’s attention instead lol.

I think we were all onto something back then because that’s how much we know about FANG and Shadaloo, and that we were able to correctly predict these outcomes. That’s how much we love them…even if we go on our silly shippy headcanon territory 😂😂💜💜

I like how we joked that Bison might turn his attention to AKI because she’s a cute sexy lady and FANG would get jealous. But with their in-game win quotes, Bison didn’t care much about AKI and was more interested in knowing about FANG! It’s in that win quote where BisonFANG shippers could rejoice hahahahahha.

Ngl, I was genuinely nervous on how FANG would be portrayed in SF6 if he were to appear in it. Now that we all know what happened thus far in the game, I’m glad Capcom gave more attention to FANG than what we’ve hoped for. It was definitely more than we thought. And they did a good job on his character too. They gave him a cool new look, expanded on his character by showing his more kinder side (still evil btw), and giving him an important role in the story post-WTM.

Also, Comatozoid predicted Bison’s SF6 character correctly as a homeless amnesiac lol. This was on May 31, 2024, which was about a week before Bison was announced on June 7, 2024.

Hmm, our fun-filled conversation and the Bison announcement was exactly 2 years apart. What a coincidence!

F.A.N.G appreciators are always the absolute best!! 💜💜

[real-odark]

if you were to ask me how i feel about a commercial jingle for regina comet, i might say its pretty good or something.

but if you asked me on a deeper level,

i'd tell you how much i absolutely love this musical. id tell you how im its biggest fan possibly ever, and i curse myself every day for not being able to see it. id tell you about my signed playbill of it being one of my most prized possessions and i used to sleep with it by my side. id tell you how the bootleg is one of my favorite things ever, and how many times ive listened to it, making timestamps for each song and even uploading a full version of it for myself to youtube. id tell you how its my third favorite musical of all time. id tell you how i didnt even know ben fankhauser until i found out about this musical and i dont think i could love any of his roles more than man 2. id tell you how i wrote my own self sustaining fanfiction for it. id tell you how i made up names for them. id tell you about my dozens of fanart for it, and how other man used to be muscle memory to draw, so whenever id go to draw something hed be the first thing to warmup. id tell you how i know just about every lyric of every song. id tell you how when i do home-alone theater karaoke, this musical is the first one i go to everytime. id tell you how literally any role in this would be my dream. id tell you how underrated its representation is, showing the exploitation of women in the media, and has such a good message. id tell you about how during silent reading time in class, id reread the script for this show over and over while everyone else pulled out icebreaker and stuff. id tell you how i have consumed every advertisement for this show ever. id tell you how i would go through every review article, and if they said anything even remotely bad about it, id find a way to counter it. id tell you how i used to go through every 2 pixel picture and video of the set (which is amazing by the way. im obsessed with it) and made a list of every single paper i could make out, how they asked the crew to write down musicals on sticky notes for it, and how i analyzed each of their sides of the apartment. id tell you how id do anything to see the original cast of this in person. id tell you about other mans bpd coding. id tell you about how i started to copy the mannerisms of these characters and actors and put myself in physical distress sometimes because it made me feel like them a little bit gulp thats not like the kind of physical distress youre probably thinking of btw i meant id like run laps of long distances because hearing myself breathe made me think of other man. id tell you how i dont think anyone could ever be more these characters than these actors. id tell you how i would just listen to the bass/piano/drums (all isolated) of the songs and learn the piano by ear. id tell you about the freaking haarrrmoonieeess in it. id tell you how cute and . cool the lighting is. id tell you how i much of the choreography i had(/have) memorized. id tell you how many times ive quoted this show (women in science. and, for a little bit of backstage stuff, nothing i will be woorrking.) id tell you how ive gone through all of their social media posts and every post theyre tagged in as well. id tell you about how i dedicated an account to it until i got locked out lmao?? id tell you how i may or may not have genuinely cried over this musical so many times. id tell you how i made floor plans for the flourishing pig (the hottest vegan nightspot in the meatpacking district) ((i got rid of them tho my bad lmaooo)). id tell you how even perfume just reminds me of this show now. id tell you how i have forced everyone i know at gunpoint to hear this musical at least once. id tell you about the complexity of man 2 and other mans relationship and nothing wouldve happened if they had just kissed sighh (/j). i would tell you about this show. id tell you about this. id tell you about. id tell you. id tell. id. i. .

...but ill probably just say "yeah its kinda cool"

[intimidating-fettuccine]

this isn't a request btw! i just wanted to say i genuinely love your writing and your blog. you do such an amazing job with the way you write each character and the little post with incorrect quotes always make my day. you have a wonderful talent and it's so kind and generous of you to share it with others, i know how hard it is to write and how draining it can be sometimes. im so so thankful i found your blog. thank you for sharing your writing with us. i hope the rest of your year and all of next year is filled with nothing but happiness and love. you deserve that. 🩷

Awwwwwww thank you so much!!!! 💚💚💚 I really really appreciate it. I have always wanted this blog to be a happy safe space where anyone can come here and find something to give them a bit of joy (or pain if you like angst), and it makes me very happy when people really like my stuff :))))

Thank you so, so much for all of the support. It truly makes me so happy to be able to give you guys this content :)

[finisnihil]

I read your post from 4/10 and wanted to double check: you mentioned that Sunday took Sparkle up on her offer to pose as Robin, but I don't remember a time when that happened? He mentioned the family had a plan + the emanator post by hyv basically says they can take on the form of other family members. If you mean the convo between Aven/Sparkle couldn't that have just been Aven's misconception? She never confirms it in that convo as far as I remember. Loved the post btw just curious

That could very well be the case as well! It's all very vague so I went with what I thought made the most sense based on context clues, which was Sparkle replaced her.

Looking at it from a meta perspective I don't see why the writers would have Aventurine say that unless the statement/question held some genuine weight. When writing you wouldn’t typically introduce the idea of Sparkle replacing Robin by her demonstrating her ability to do so believably, having her offer to do it for the Family to upkeep airs, and then bringing it up again later as Sparkle being the culprit if that’s a plot line you don’t intend to actually upkeep as it would be redundant and take up time and space.

Speaking of Sparkle not confirming it, it’s in line with her character. Sparkle as a Masked Fool lives to invoke chaos. Just because she didn’t confirm it doesn’t mean it can’t be true, think back to her conversation with Aventurine some more. She doesn’t lie to him but she doesn’t reveal her hand enough to help too much. Basically her attitude about it all can be summarized by a quote from her character trailer: “Let me tell you what foolishness is, pretending to be smart like you do. Then what is a fool? Knowing when to act clueless, like I do”.

It’s only when he’s found the right questions to ask he’s able to push her for more details, and even then she’s cagey about the information she shares. Sparkle enjoys watching everyone run around trying to manage the disaster because that’s Elation to her. It would be more out of character for her to give a clear yes or no on the matter, hell the closest she gets to giving one is implying that’s the answer by saying “…and if I say ‘no’?” Adding to this she only gets this close to giving a clear yes or no because Aventurine entices her with the idea it will cause further chaos.

But then again, 2.1's writing decieved us in a lot of ways so like you said, it could've been a misconception. This is just my take on the matter based on what we’re given.

By the by, which Emanator post do you refer to specifically? I don’t recall seeing the information they can take on the form of other family members on any Insta posts (I don’t use Twitter/X) or the big Emanator rundown the official HSR account posted on HoyoLab. If I missed it I’d like to know!

Tbh when analyzing media like HSR, which is constantly updating in real time, you're always running the risk of getting something wrong simply because you're working with an incomplete puzzle. Some of my analysis posts don't hold nearly as much water as they did before 2.1 and whatnot so if I am wrong on that I wouldn’t be too surprised. I try to keep up to date on the lore to the best of my ability as it’s the main reason I even play the game but until Penacony is complete and we have a full picture to work with I really appreciate people like you bringing possible holes in my analysis to my attention!

I’m really glad you liked my post and tysm for the ask! Have a great day, mwah!

[random-kido]

Hi there again hello aha, I didn't think to be coming back so soon into your asks lol but something has been REALLY bothering me lately and its the fact that I genuinely do not remember where the idea that Krok used to be a historian was derived from, it's been bothering me for THREE DAYS now (yes I think about the Scavs too much; also in my sleep, thats how bad the brainrot is for these idiots)

My earliest memory of said info was reading it on his tf wiki page but I've looked through it and used ctrl+F even and its NOT there! Second earliest memory was your post about Starscream and him being headcanon'd as roommates absolutely despising each other during like idk cybertronian college (which was very funny btw, I saw that on twitter and found it really silly lol), so I chalked it up to "maybe it was a headcanon on tumblr that I thought was canon" but nope, because several other fanfiction I've read about the Scavengers have used the "Krok used to be a historian" thing as part of his backstory, almost as frequently (or rarely really) as people use him being a soccer player in TransTech

So uhh... do you happen to recall where that's ever said that lmfao?? Maybe I forgot a specific panel in IDW somewhere but ehhh nothing's coming to me rn... This isn't really urgent and i dont even know how I managed to stretch a simple question into a long ass ask but I guess that's just how my brain works

I hope ur having a good day as you read this btw :33

Oh hey! I am having a good day so far, thank you! 😊

As for where the whole historian thing came from, it was actually mentioned at the very end of issue 8 of the mtmte series where both the scavengers and the djd get very brief character cards. This one being krok's:

But outside of this it's never really mentioned again outside of issue 7-8.

In issue 7 his knowledge on the wars history is only really used to let both the audience and fulcrum know that the way the scavs are able to get by is because of him knowing where some of the mass graves are. And so that they can catch fulcrum up with everything that happened while he was unconscious.

After this it's not really mentioned again. The only time I could think off the top of my head that his knowledge in history is hinted at again is the issue where agonizer picks them up after the planet they're on gets swarmed by Deathsaurus' crew and the black block consortia (but I can't remember the issue number right now lol) and again with agonizer.

After that there's just a one off line where he quotes something tyrest probably said early on in the war.

Outside of these very brief instances there really isn't much else to this part of him. Which makes me wonder if jro wanted to do more with that but ultimately had to cut it out for some reason or he just decided it wasn't that big of an aspect to build upon unless necessary to give the audience and the those around him extra info.

I'm unsure if in other continuities he was also a historian but I'm almost certain he's just a strategist/right hand man across all variations. The historian part was probably tacked on last minute for exposition of sorts.

So. I understand where your confusion came from. Because for the longest time when I first got into them I also had no clue where the historian part came from lol.

Hope this kinda helped! Have a good one 😊

[burinazar]

what motivates you artistically? :3

well right now blelaf mainly. no ok hang on. alright. so.

when i was really young i had this feeling like if we could all just understand one another, if there was a perfect way to beam your thoughts and feelings into someone's head, it would fix almost everything re conflicts and human suffering. (naive obviously but this was what i thought lol.) when i started to be aware of what it was to read good books and look at good art it felt like in some ways the closest we could come to fully articulating an idea, a moment, a feeling, and placing it in its entirety into someone's mind. relatedly, uh, bad stories/art that didn't seem to respect their audience pissed me off at the squandered opportunity (sorry the snobbery came out sorry) and made me think, dammit, the audience and types of people evoked within this deserve better and i'm gonna try. with the combo of these two things it was like ..okay i'm going to start writing and drawing. it was all about stories ideas concepts. oh and also i really liked rodents and wanted to draw them as often as possible lol. i drew so fucking many rodents. gah. these concepts were no joke deeply linked for me because as a child i genuinely felt like the bad rap rodents get from people unthinkingly condemning them via stereotypes was a symptom of a societal lack of empathy and consideration. (possibly terry pratchett's fault)

(could not locate early rat art at this moment but here's relevant scribbling. i was nine i think.)

 tl;dr plunging themes and concepts i find interesting; communicating them to other people. (sometimes the concept is admittedly not highbrow. sometimes it is very silly. sometimes it is 'hey ! it would be hot if this happened to b*laf'.) it can be hard to reconcile the desire to 'communicate' via art/writing with some of my work just not having much of an audience or even feeling like i don't want to share it for various reasons lol, but in those cases i frame it to myself as, the effort of presenting the idea was enjoyable in and of itself, an act of personal communication between me and the subject or content of the work even if the thing itself will never be shown to another soul : v anyway fanwork can be a neat way to do that because it's like shared muses or canvases where what you see in them or love about them is already partially pre-communicated to people and you can hit the ground running on evoking emotions, concepts and narratives using the shared frame of reference, as well as skewing and transforming said frame as needed. btw i found another drawing of me and the sages that i didnt use in the other post so here it is

there have been many periods of my life when i was making more original work, though. (i'm sure i've said this many times now but before the sages i had a very comparable attachment to a couple of my OCs.) i also had a pretty terrible experience with fandom around middle school that sort of drove me away from heavily engaging for a long time; i was still in fandoms but basically never shared my writing outside of like PMs and servers. that's part of why my current abyss bullshit is so precious to me and also why i can get protective over it; it pretty much singlehandedly brought me back to the Blessings and Curses of being directly engaged in sharing a lot of fan content publicly. (man for a person who doesnt like bondrewd i do quote him a lot unfortunately.)

so anyway. yes. uhh sorry that was really long. i sort of just like blogging haha thank you very much for the ask! < 3

[flutteringfable]

finally found the time to watch generation loss and oh??? my gosh!????? i love ranboo’s stuff and i already had high expectations from hearing all the buzz about it but this totally blew me out of the park in a way i didn’t expect at all.

go watch it, even if you aren’t into ranboo it’s a great thing on its own. it starts a little slow but that’s on purpose!! just trust the process, as they say <3 (i’m using that in the wrong context i know but shhhhh)

anyway time to scream about it in an essay long post because i’m so incredibly normal about this series and not being a horror/arg nerd about it at all nope no way why would you think that ahaha.

[spoilers ahead! there’s only three episodes, all up on their vod channel and about an hour each! it’s so worth a watch!!]

okay, so, episode one was nothing like what i was expecting right off the bat.

i’ve seen the stuff on the actual genloss channel, and i figured it would all be sort of that vibe. imagine my surprise upon seeing ranboo sneeg and charlie being a little bit silly in a cabin in the woods (and also christian hell? for some reason?). i stuck through it, though, no matter how taken aback i was. it was so worth it in the end, but i’ll get to that later teehee <3

the cyoa aspect was cool! i wish i had been there to see it live, because i’m the biggest sucker for choice based stories and arg-style games.

not much more to say abt ep1, to be honest. just know that it’s definitely a completely different vibe than what you’ll probably expect (ranboo said this was on purpose!!). oh also i love squiggles he is everything to me. a little guy. a blorbo even. even if he uh, did turn out to be evil like i originally suspected.

ep 2! this one was almost equally silly in nature, but you can see the “cracks” begin to show a lot more in this one. (“why is cracks in quotes?” you may ask. well, iykyk, and if you don’t, watch episode three.)

the puzzler was great, i think it was hilarious that the mask was basically just how he looked anyway. the beginning was a good hook, i genuinely thought we were getting into the juicy stuff when ranboo was locked in the chair.

when he found charlie, i’m ashamed to admit that i didn’t expect charlie’s guts to be slime. that’s his thing. he’s a goopy gushy guy. i should’ve known. anyway. the part where the “illusion” starts to break and the slime turns to blood for a moment?? DELICIOUS. SO GOOD. MWAH.

NIKKI’S SUDDEN SWITCH IN HER INTRO ON THE CAROUSEL????? so good. everyone’s acting was incredible tbh especially in ep 3, i’m so happy. the silly death dialogue from ethan was great (until it wasn’t. iykyk, i’ll get to it), too. THE HAT BIT??? WHERE THEY REPROGRAMMED SNEEG??? AAA?????? so in love with this episode, it was the perfect transition to the hell that is ep 3.

okay so. ep 3. where do i start omg. i guess at the beginning, that makes sense.

i was really excited to finally have a name for hatch! honestly, even though my villain-senses were sounding off all sorts of alarms in my head, i was fooled for a short while as he was guiding ranboo. learning about the drones was interesting, too. lots of good lore built around the company and those guys! very cool ^^

WHEN RANBOO WENT AGAINST THE AUDIENCE AND CHOSE THE YELLOW CODE. IM RUNNING OUT OF WAYS TO EXPRESS MY EXCITEMENT AND AWE,,,,, UHHHH YIPPEEE???? I GUESS????? that was the thing that really set me off about hatch being maybe not so great. good stuff!!!!

ranboo finding the streamers pretty much locked in those mall restaurants!! AND CHARLIE DOING AN ACTUAL STREAM DURING IT!!!!!! gah, this series is so cool!!!!!! them constantly on the run from the drones and security (TERRIFYING monster, btw, i love when evil dystopian corporations have monsters as security <3) was so wild to watch. i don’t think i’ve been that anxious for the main characters of a series for quite some time.

them seeing the cabin set. ohhhhh my gosh. and then charlie dying (? presumably) at the hands of security before ranboo hits the button to stop everything. graaagh i ate that UP. again i’m running out of ways to express my love for this series lmaoo.

the “ending.” oh my goodness the fakeout “ending.” i was so thrilled, so happy for ranboo i let my guard down and was like “yes!!!! evil bad guys stopped woohoo!!! get this guy some rest and therapy!!!”

and then they bowed.

when i tell you i GASPED. like it was my fault for not checking the time on the video and having my guard down but i GASPED.

hatch letting the audience choose if ranboo lived or died. hearing ranboo scream and beg to be set free, and then beg to die…. i genuinely teared up. despite the rather grim choice to have them die, i think it was for the best. though i do wonder what would have happened if the votes stayed 50/50….. if anyone knows if ranboo has talked about that anywhere, do let me know! if not, i’ll shoot them an ask about it, because i’m sure it would’ve been interesting.

anyway, this series was so much cooler than i ever could’ve imagined. i was already invested in the stuff on the genloss channel, like i mentioned, but seeing the project for myself and getting to watch this incredible series was breathtaking. i’m a huge nerd for dystopias and horror, and ranboo somehow nailed combining them both with great comedy and a great story.

and i’ve heard it’s been nominated for an emmy? or something???? that’s literally so cool!!!! i wish ranboo the best of luck in future projects, genloss was a fantastic watch and i can’t recommend it enough <3

[kitty-box-101]

I don’t tend to do Post where I’m just talking but today I think I needed to talk about something The phenomena of guilt some people have over shipping

TLDR: Komamiki enjoy yours are the strongest soldiers of the fandom

In a server it seemed that a few people share this common feeling because God forbid you like something different than what’s popular

Then I mention a rare pair that I know a few people like had it as a discomfort to the point where I censored the word (using the Discord spoiler thing and btw it’s komamiki so ajshhs) especially for a friend who is in the server who I know it’s his discomfort

Despite that my friend notice and joined in the conversation, at first, it was joking around like haha your my enemy haha “you’re the reason I don’t talk about this ship” I said that jokingly but looking back this came off more like I had a grudge against him 😭lol

Then my friend explained I quote “ it’s problematic so not too surprising” (in a fandom like dr throwing that word around is not good at this point it’s lost its meaning and has so much nuance that it simply is a black-and-white)

Probably the fact that it was my friends discomfort clouded his judgment, so it makes sense that he was gonna be sort of bias, he explained why to him it was problematic and a lot of it was up to personal preference. The only moment I can see being a problem was when in one of the manga mikan is on top of Nagito (my friend says that she s/a him and I heavily disappeared. It did not seem like she was doing anything to him other than pointing needle at him, which you know now that’s just a different thing)

It also had to do with her habit of making her patient sick so they stay longer, as far as I remember in the game, it was definitely the opposite, and wanted to make sure that he was alive more than anything before she got infected with the disease. This goes with all the other patient characters, I think a pretty good example would be fuyuhiko who stayed at the hospital and came back and it’s not like he stayed for so long so it’s not like she was planning that.

Would Mikan normally go that extreme just for a classmate to stay sick and with her? No i don’t think so

I didn’t exactly bring up my opinions and points exactly I just kinda nodded, but didn’t necessarily agree with anything, there was another person involved in the conversation mainly asking a lot of questions like why they think it’s problematic ect. I guess it was hard for my friend to explain since he was in school and couldn’t write out his thoughts properly ( he explained it to me later that he has a hard time detecting tone on text, but like still wondering what made him think I wasn’t listening to what he was saying

(and I was starting to think he was getting uncomfortable since it seemed like he was made up to be the bully cuz I ship them) and he said at least twice that he wanted the conversation to stop, but it kept going ??? Hell people were even backing me up, saying what I was doing was harmless and just letting me be a silly goobre and hell I even found someone who ships it that as well  eventually he genuinely said “I give up 💔” which I found funny in a kind of “could you not be the dense!?” Way 

After a while, I decided to check up on friends since In his insta note it said he wasn’t feeling well. I decided to check up on him and he said he was fine and explained more of why he doesn’t like it. Just like I thought it had a lot to do with projection, which I completely understand. You’re going to project to your favorites a lot and seeing a contradiction of your personal hc we’re gonna hurt just a little if you do take them personally.

Now here’s something. I’m definitely going to ask him about; and his Twitter he had a post that was just “Komaeda is gay” over and over again and sure I drew him a little drawing to show good faith, but I wonder if it was done out of spite? not because of me, but because of hc(and in his own words the bi hc for Nagito makes him vomit)

I very much have an issue with that kind of language because obviously someone who hc him that is going to feel like shit and that’s literally not what you wanna do ever

There’s definitely a lot to sort out ? I’m in good terms and everything Hell love the guy/p but it’s those little things that I gotta get out of my system and the only way I know how is My talking about it in a social media he doesn’t have ajhsgsgs don’t wanna feel like I’m shit talking yk?

But ye that’s all just remember to respect other peoples ships and if you don’t like them, just say they’re not your cup of tea and go drink your cup of coffee ☕️

(if somehow you’ve made it this far in reading, you’re insane and that’s awesome)



[lumity-poggers]

My thoughts on Watching and Dreaming

I watched the episode when it premeired last night but i hit post limit so couldnt post about it. Spoilers under the cut. sorry if anything is out of order lol im sick and im just throwing everything i thought last night down on this post.

-Luz being attacked by Amity genuinely made me cry

-"My girlfriend is too big a nerd to misremember an Azura quote" -luz probably

-Lilith having the haircut from For the Future but color scheme from season 1 is a nice touch

-"Dont you recognize your siblings" Ok damn man didnt need to go THAT far

-The giant stone Flapjack in Luz's nightmare killed me and not in the good funny way but in the sad crying way

-in the words of @minty-creator "BELOS FUCKETH OFF" (We were both watching the ep and screaming to each other about it)

-at first I thought belos was gonna try and possess king but then I realized no he's going to possess the fucking boiling isles titan

-I actually kinda liked that The Collector had no concept of death. They're a kid, an IMMORTAL GODLY KID. Of course they wouldnt know what death is

-Pacman Collector will haunt my nightmares

-The Collector needs a hug. I want to give them a hug.

-"You know this cant last forever" that was said to the collector but it feels like it was also aimed towards us

-The Archivists 🤝Pink Diamond "Wanna play a game?" *leaves them lonely*

-ok no but seriously the archivists telling Collector to play with the titans only to wipe them out leaving Collector all alone is just fucking cruel

-The Collector is just a lonely kid LET ME HUG THEM

-Me seeing Raine fight back: YES YOU GO

-Goo Belos in this episode looks like William Afton. Like- Remember that fucking fnaf 3 image where the springtrap head was open showing William? Thats what Belos looks like. Or burntrap from SB take your pick.

-Raine my beloved

-The Belos possessed Titan looks like a fucking dragon holy shit

-"Now that's a spinoff I'd watch" You and me both Luz

-The Collector picking up Raine's earring and realizing that the Raine talking to them wasnt actually Raine, and then looking upset is just AAAAAAAA LET ME FUCKING HUG THEM

-I LOVE that when the collector uses "Kindness and Forgiveness" on Belos IT DOESNT WORK. I FUCKING H A T E THAT TROPE OF POWER OF FRIENDSHIP REDEMPTION. It was one of the few things I genuinely hated about Steven Universe (SU is still a good show tho they just kinda overused villain redemption. And yeah yeah you could argue MLP overuses that too but MLP was ABOUT friendship)

-Luz, Eda, and King's expressions when The Collector hugs Belos is so funny tho. Literally just 👁👄👁

-I literally screamed at Luz's sacrifice. S C R E A M E D.

-Gaster Blaster Belos Real

-"Eda, King, looks like we're going to be split up again. I feel like I should be used to this feeling by now, but I still dont know what to say" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-I like that Luz becomes lights. Not only was the light glyph the first one she learned but her name literally means light.

-Eda, King, and Luz are such a found family I love them

-"I should have thanked them" SCREAMING AND CRYING

-I love that King's dad basically said "Fuck gender"

-I also love that he has a bad girls coven shirt

-Eda makes alchoholic apple blood confirmed?

-Titan Luz is so gender

-Camila best mom

-LET. ME. HUG. THE. COLLECTOR. DAMN IT.

-Luz and King doing the WEH together is so fucking cute.

-For some reason I thought Luz was gonna die again when the titan magic was fading. Like I thought that was keeping her alive.

-Anyone gonna talk about the fact Eda gave Raine a little kiss when saving them from the Belos goop

-the entire episode was so anime but the fight scene between Titan Luz and Belos was just anime as fuck and the smooth animation makes it even better

-"NOW EAT THIS SUCKA" IT ALL COMES FULL CIRCLE

-Look at how fuckin anime this is I love it so much

-Luz looks so badass btw idk if I mentioned that

-Belos trying to bullshit his way out of this and Luz having NONE OF IT is so great. I hat the "[insert curse/supernatural thing] made me do it so im innocent" trope if it's done poorly or with a character like Belos. Love that they smashed that into the ground with Luz having fucking none of it.

-LOOK AT HOW BADASS AND GENDER SHE LOOKS I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT THIS I AM SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS

-I AM SO GLAD BELOS HAD A GRUESOME DEATH THAT WAS SO SATISFYING.

-I like the touch that Titan Luz isnt affected by the boiling rain

-King's dad is A PUN MASTER

-the reuniting. oh my titan the reuniting. I cried. Gus doing a little illusion with his dad, Amity hugging Alador (with Odalia rightfully in the sidelines), Hunter telling Darius about wolves, Willow and her dads!

-Darius and Eber so want to beat the shit out of Terra, Vitmir, and Adrien.

-Camila pulling Eda and King into a hug with Luz is just. YES.

-Yassified Hooty go brrr

-King giving The Collector Francois was so sweet

-All the kids as adults are so fucking gender. GIVE ME YOUR GENDER.

-All the photos on Luz's bulletin board are so amazing. Especially the one with Hooty dropping from a tree that one made me laugh so hard. Also the Bi Pride pin next to the graduation photo was amazing.

-"Stringbean's Corner" AWWWE

-ik im doing two screenshots in a row but LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OF STRINGBEAN

-When I tell you I screamed with joy when I saw there was a working permanent portal to the Boiling Isles I mean I SCREAMED WITH JOY

-I love Willow's leaf headband. It just fits her so well.

-I love that Hunter is a palismen carver and carved a Blue Jay to be his new palismen (according to Dana on twt the name of the palismen is Waffle. I love it.), but I also love that Hunter was (or maybe still is) Dell's apprentice by the looks of things

-The grave for Flapjack made me sob. And then the "Thank you for finding me" on it im just. I need a moment.

-HARPY LILITH HARPY LILITH

-Also I just realized now they all have matching Flapjack tattoos. Im gonna cry you guys.

-The way Darius just slides over after shaking Alador is the most tsundere anime thing ever.

-Theres a little abomination in Alador's pocket :0

-Raine with white hair is actually so fucking cool

-Gus looks so cool you cannot tell me otherwise.

-Everyone thought Eda would have like a robotic/abomination arm but no SHE HAS A HOOK AND IT'S AWESOME

-King had a growth spurt lets go!

-The quinceanera being called a king-cenera is just perfect. King is mastering the art of puns just like his father.

-King having his own glyph shapes is just perfect I love it!

-Collector making fireworks shooting stars is amazing

-THEY DID THE HUNTER "BYEEE" TO BOTH THE COLLECTOR AND US

Im going to miss toh. It was one of the best shows Ive ever watched.

Edit: I hat the new post editor istg