#genuinely might tell my husband he has to come home from work when they come because I don't want to risk having to talk to that guy again

[running-in-the-dark]

our dishwasher was delivered today, the oven should be here by Tuesday, and the rest of the kitchen will be here next Friday. I think things are going pretty well, we should have enough room to assemble everything by then. hopefully 🤔

also, I have unfortunately been informed that the very unfriendly man who was here yesterday (was it yesterday? I don't understand time) might have to come back - he works for the company that does the fiber optic cables - before I was told that the (very tall, big, and extremely friendly) electrician would be doing the last thing that needs to be done so that we can get internet, but no, the fibre optic people have to do it. I'm hoping it'll be someone else 🙄 I don't want to let that man into our apartment.

and, some of the other tenants have started moving in now. we saw at least four people moving stuff today. it's gonna be weird not being the only ones in the house, haha

[thewritetofreespeech]

hello. I read your bg3 marriage headcanons and was wondering if you could do a follow-up on what their first anniversary would be like? also add rolan, even though he wasn't in the original. only if you want to.

BG3 - 1st Anniversary Headcanons

[original ask in question X]

Gale

What does Gale ‘grand gestures are my love language’ Dekarios have planned for your first anniversary? Oh nothing special.

Just all your favorite meals cooked & ready for you. Starting with breakfast in bed. A small, light picnic at your favorite shoreline spot to watch the tides come in and enjoy the sea air. Ending with a romantic candlelight dinner that would put some of the finest Baldurian restaurants to shame.

He gives you a book of love poems as your present. Paper is traditional for the first anniversary after all. It is furthermore inscribed with his own, original poem on the front cover for you.

Astarion

He actually isn’t aware it’s your anniversary. Until he is reminded by someone. It’s not that it’s not important to him. Astarion has just never celebrated one before. How could he, when none of his previous lovers ever even stayed the whole night?

He has to work fast. But luckily Astarion is extremely clever and resourceful.

Playing it off like it was his plan all along to ‘pretend’ to forget, only for you to be further surprised is simply part of his plan. He plays it off so well that you believe him when he tells you that he got you a new necklace because ‘it reminded him of your eyes’. He makes a mental note to remember next year and be more genuine in his efforts.

A!Astarion

Of course, Astarion remembers the day you officially became his. Body, soul, and now legally.

Part of it may just be the celebration of having something that’s his. He hasn’t had anything for so long that he goes overboard. And with you, his most prized treasure, he can’t help it either.

The day, like all your days, is just about the two of you. He has a portrait commissioned for the two of you and commits to having one done every year, so you remember what you look like & how happy you are together. The old ones are kept in an archive below for safe keeping.

Wyll

He’s been looking forward to this day almost as much as getting married to you, the love of his life.

If he chose to stay in the Gate and become the new Grand Duke Ravengard, Wyll will host a ball so that you can celebrate with all those you hold dear. Old and new friends. He has the bard’s college compose a new song to commemorate the occasion, one that he can lead his partner out to the dance floor with and waltz them around all night.

If he went to Avernus to continue as the Blade, they will waltz together, alone, on the stoney rocks of the Hells. While Wyll hums a private tune between them to keep the music going.

Halsin

Halsin isn’t much for ceremonies or constructs of time. Nature and time move hand-in-hand with one another without making much note of their relationship, and he feels that they should do the same.

But…he can appreciate that something like this should be marked & remembered.

He will make time to get away from his duties as ‘Daddy Halsin’ to be a husband for a while; no matter how short it might be. He carves them a beautiful ornament. Something of a remembrance of their year to hang on a tree by their home. Halsin tells them that he hopes, one day, it will be filled with as many happy memories as leaves. The tree growing as with their love for years to come.

+Rolan

Who has time for such frivolities? Rolan has an acclaimed magic shop & literary archive to run, along with the magical commitments he has as the new caretaker of Ramazith's Tower. Surely, as his partner, they must understand that.

Lia gives him an extremely firm talking to about how selfish and narrow-minded he is being. That it’s not just about him anymore it’s about them.

Though Rolan will never admit that she’s right, he does make it up to his spouse. Apologizing to them for being so callous and making an effort to be more ‘traditionally romantic’. He presents them with a single white rose. Enchanted, so that it will never die, never wilt, and never fade. “It will always be as pure and radiant as my love for you. Should I forget to tell you every day, look upon it and remember. Though, I will try to remember to tell you everyday until my last ones.”

[jelliedink]

Little Revenge

Warnings: smut, cheating!, pet names, older man/younger woman, boss/employee, power dynamic Picture is not mine. Divider by @thecutestgrotto

“You’ve fucked your wife thinking about me before, haven’t you?”

Your boss, with whom you’ve been chatting for the past hour, nearly choked on his drink.

“Excuse me, but where did that come from?”

It wasn’t the smoothest delivery, but you just couldn’t think of a better way of introducing the topic and you were afraid of losing the courage to do so. You’ve been babysitting his daughters sporadically for almost 2 years now, as you did with many other children in your university campus’ neighborhood. Everything was fine until about 8 months ago, when his work schedule became flexible enough to allow him to always spend some time in the house most of the days you were there. Before this you dealt almost exclusively with his wife, meeting her at the start and the end of every shift. Since this change, though, Ian was the one you spoke the most to.

At first, you didn’t mind it. It was quite nice, actually. Ian was reliable, pleasant and seemed to genuinely care for you. When with you he was always trying to lift the mood, asking about how things were going in your life and offering advice. 

But then he seemed way too interested in you, and his wife, previously sweet and warm towards you, became increasingly harsher and nitpicky.

“I have a theory for what the real reason why Mrs Allen fired me is. When you started staying at home I didn’t think too much of it, but it became difficult to believe you were just being hospitable as you gradually increased the frequency in which you inquired me about my love life and found excuses to touch me in ways that would make your wife fire me on the spot if she saw.”

Ian’s charming face changed its expression from its typical amicable neutrality to a condescending look.

“Darling, I think we have a great misunderstanding here.”

Your heart started beating faster, the voice in your head that said you got it all wrong getting louder by the minute. But now there was nowhere to go but forward.

“Mr Allen, I���m not mad at you. I’m actually kind of flattered, you know? To have an attractive and successful man such as yourself look at me in that way. I’m mad because I can’t get other jobs in the neighborhood because, as told by some of the other nannies, Mrs Allen has been warning all the mothers about her shameless babysitter that appears to be trying to sleep with her husband.”

His face didn’t change.

“I’m sincerely sorry about that, and rest assured you’ll be compensated for the trouble my wife’s actions brought you, but I still can’t see how that led you to such an unusual question.”

“Are you really not going to drop the act?” His insistent denial made you so nervous you felt almost dizzy. What if you were making a fool of yourself? “That’s a shame, really, because I was looking forward to letting you know how the real thing feels.”

Upon hearing this last statement, Ian confusion and disbelief flashed through his face, breaking the mask for a moment. Then his eyes filled with amusement as he answered you.

“My dear, aren’t you something?”

He got up from where he was sitting to get closer to you, squatting down in front of your seat in order to bring his face to your level. His initial defensiveness seemed to almost disappear, curiosity replacing it as he questioned you, eyebrows raised: 

“Aren’t you afraid of the consequences in case you turn out to be incorrect?”

You were. But you also knew your reputation was already unsalvageable, so you didn’t see how it could get any worse.

“It’s not like anyone is going to believe me, so I have nothing to lose anymore, I thought I might as well try and get something positive out of this whole situation.”

He let out a hum of acknowledgement and stayed silent for a while, his eyes fixed on you while trying to decide if you were telling the truth or if it was some sort of elaborate joke. Seeing that he was not yet fully convinced, you decided to face his gaze and say something you thought would help him make a favorable decision.

“You know, I’ve only been with guys my age before and it has been really disappointing. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t secretly hoping for you to show me what a real man feels like.”

Ian let out a loud, amused laugh at your flirting attempt. His lips were still curled when his hands touched your chin.

“And to think I’ve been chastising myself for feeling attracted to the young, innocent little thing I thought you were.” He let out a series of “tsk”, feigning disappointment at you. “I feel tempted to take up your offer, missy, but I have a condition.”

“What is it?”

“You’ll do exactly as I say and, once we start, I’m not going to stop. So, are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes.” You nodded almost immediately. “But I have a condition of my own, too.

His eyes filled with curiosity.

“Oh, do you, kitten? And what is it?”

“Fuck me in the master bedroom. I want to have the satisfaction of knowing your wife will be sleeping in the same bed you fucked me in.”

Your request caught him by surprise, making him look at you with a mix of disbelief and delight. 

“My, my, how did such a petty little devil make her way into my peaceful home? Alright, I can do that for you.” He closed the distance between your faces in a kiss, wrapping one arm around your shoulders and the other behind your knees. “Up we go.”

You hid your face in the crook of his neck while he carried you, unsure of what to do next, until he laid you on the bed.

“Here we are, sweetheart. I must admit, I thought you were smarter than this.” The condescending tone came back while he gently stroked your cheeks with his thumbs. “Lucky me.”

He didn’t give you time to fully understand what he said before he kissed you firmly. It didn’t take long until you were straddling him, his hands traveling through your body, eventually finding their way under your dress. For a moment it felt like he was looking for something on your bare skin, until he broke the string of kisses and looked at you with a grin.

“Of course you’re not wearing underwear.”

“In case you needed more convincing.” You answered, suddenly self-conscious of that decision.

“So you were that determined to be my little whore today? What a naughty kitten we have here.”

He immediately started kissing down your neck while you clumsily palmed his abdomen through the polo shirt he was wearing. He took it off right after helping you get out of your dress, and then leaned back for a moment to admire your naked figure with hunger in his eyes.

“Oh, pretty, you look just right.” His hands ran through your upper body, eventually fondling your breasts. “The perfect little toy.”

His mouth joined your body once again, leaving kisses all around your collarbone and chest while your hands tugged lightly at his hair. You moved your hips, trying to find the perfect spot to grind on top of his clothed cock, and you felt him smile when he noticed what you were doing.

“So desperate, grinding on me like you were in heat. Let me see how needy you are.”

One of his hands traveled to your pussy, and he groaned the moment he felt how wet you were. Then he started alternating between slowly rubbing your clit and moving his fingers through the whole length of your cunt, parting your lips and teasing to enter you, only to slide back again. The whole time his eyes were glued on your face, watching your expressions change as he toyed with you. You were way too turned on to feel shy at his gaze.

“Ian, just fuck me already.”

“Of course you do, kitten. But first you’re going to put on a little show for me, ok?” He took his now soaked fingers back to your entrance. “Daddy’s going to curl his fingers up and you’re going to fuck yourself in them.”

“Haven’t you teased me enough already?” you whined, frustrated.

“Princess, you were the one who asked me to show you what it's like to be with a real man. You thought I’d just pound my dick into you mindlessly like the guys your age?” He brought his torso near you and nuzzled his face on your neck, speaking into your ears. “No, pretty. We’re going to be here for a while.” 

Then he leaned back again, curling his fingers as he said he would.

“Now be the good, obedient girl I know you are and fuck yourself on my hand, ok? Don’t make me ask again.”

You obeyed, placing your hands on his shoulders to support yourself while your hips moved up and down, his fingers sliding in and out of your cunt with ease from how slippery you were. 

“Ian…” You started, after a while, panting and almost breathless. “Please, I  need to ride you.”

“‘Need’ is a strong word, kitten. I’m having so much fun watching you act like a horny pet for me.”

“Please.”

“Shhhh…” He shushed you, stuffing your mouth with the same fingers you were riding. “You’re talking way too much for a pet. Be a good kitten and lick my hand clean.”

You sucked and licked all of your slick off his fingers, not breaking eye contact. When you finished he connected your lips again, this time with a kiss that seemed like he wanted to devour you.

“Such a tasty pussy. I’d eat it for hours if you weren’t so needy. Lay on your back for me.”

As you did so he finished undressing himself, hovering on top of you immediately after, one of his hands caressing your tights and propping you to lift it up to his waist.

“Since you’ve been such a good girl, I’ll give you what you want this time.” You let out a loud, obscene moan at the feeling of the head of his dick running across your cunt. “I’m going to fuck your pussy now, ok?” 

“Mhmmm.”

He forced all of his dick into you at once, groaning a low “fuck” when he bottomed out. His dick was not that long but the girth felt good. You dug your nails in his back as he started moving his hips, skillfully rolling them towards you while kissing you once more.

“If I knew that little warm cunt felt this good I’d have taken you sooner.” He muttered at your mouth, along with a string of swear words you never thought you would hear from his mouth. “God, listen how fucking wet you are.”

You couldn’t say anything at first, his rhythm leaving you breathless and unable to make any other noise other than pants and moans. But when your cunt adjusted to his size, you started pleading for him to go deeper.

When he heard you, he stopped for a moment to grab a pillow and place it under your lower back, wasting no time sliding back in when you found a good position. 

“Better now?”

“Fucking yes.”

It felt better for him too, and it didn’t take too long before his pace started to get frantic. Then you placed one of your hands on your clit and started rubbing it, moaning even louder at the added stimulation. He moved his lips to your ears and started praising you when he noticed this, saying how pretty you looked stuffed with him, how cute your moans were, how perfect your pussy felt. You felt your orgasm approaching even quicker. 

After you came your arms went limp, barely holding Ian as he came inside you. He then kissed you one last time before falling by your side, both of you catching their breaths. His arms pulled you closer to him, and you laid your head on his chest until he decided to break the silence.

“You are a diamond. You did so, so well”

“The best fuck you’ve had in months?”

He laughed loudly before giving you a peck in the forehead and answering your question.

“You truly are a little devil, aren’t you? But how do you feel?”

“Great. A little ashamed, to be honest, but great.”

He gave your forehead another peck.

“Don’t worry about it, my darling. That was also not my wisest decision, but I enjoyed it very much.”

You hummed and snuggled in his chest even more, unsure on what to do next. Thankfully, it felt like he knew exactly what was going through your mind.

“Here’s what is going to happen now: we’ll take a bath and eat because no man in their right mind would send a woman home like this. Then, you’ll get to decide  if you want to go home after accomplishing your little revenge or if you prefer to spend the weekend with me in the lake house and not have to worry about your bills for a very long time.”

You looked at him, eyes wide with surprise.

“Are you trying to buy me?”

“I’m willing to pay very well for it. But you don’t have to answer me now.”

He started getting out of the bed to prepare a bath, and once it was ready he came back to the room to take you there. When he took you in his arms again you materialized a thought that had appeared.

“I know it sounds silly now, but even though I’m tempted to spend the weekend with you, we’d have to stop by my house for me to get some clothes.”

Hearing this his mouth opened in the most mischievous grin.

“Don’t worry about it, kitten. My wife has a whole closet there for me to fuck you in.”

[sukirichi]

SUKI SUKI? @! ÷ 2? I THINK YOU HAVE CLOSED THE REQS BUT IT OCCURRED TO ME TO ME MAGICALLY HELP. LISTEN !!!! husband bonten but the first time they met with y/n, like THE FIRST INTERACTION OF EVERYONE AND IN WHAT SITUATION DID THEY HAVE AN INSTANT CRUSH TO EACH OTHER AND EVERYTHING THAT CONTAINS?×)÷,×!",!)0273*?× ¡÷ 2 I PRAY YOU TO WRITE IT, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT IS IN 10 YEARS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM CRYINH

BONTEN MEN MEETING THEIR WIVES FOR THE FIRST TIME !! (PART ONE)

☁️ mikey, haitani ran, haitani rindou

☁️ unedited. mild angst on mikey's part. ran is technically not a first meeting, but yeah! suggestive on ran's part. fluff. cursing. mikey is lowkey a stalker. (only putting the three of them first because it was getting too long 😭)

♡ — MIKEY

It’s just another day, another mission. There’s nothing new for Mikey. And even if there was, there’s hardly anything he looks forward to now. Whether it’s a mission accomplished or mission failed, he hardly notices. His executives will take care of it, anyway. So he walks aimlessly in the streets he calls his, unafraid of the night’s darkness and the dangers it might bring – quite frankly, because he is the danger that lurks. What is there to be afraid of when he’s the worst imaginable nightmare around?

So lost in his own thoughts, it takes him a second to register the collision of his body with someone else. “I’m sorry!” a sweet voice cuts through the night air. You sound adorable and apologetic enough Mikey’s eyes light up for just a brief moment. Dark, lifeless eyes come to life as he glances at you – bowing in apology while clutching your satchel to your chest. “I wasn’t looking where I was going and I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to–”

At any other day, Sanzu would’ve handled this for him. At any other day, Mikey would’ve let it slide and moved on because he just doesn’t care. You’re a civilian, anyway, and you knew better. No one bumps into him like this by accident. Curious, he tilts his gaze to you. There’s only one good conclusion of your unabashed expression that of guilt and genuine embarrassment – you must not have any idea who he is and treated him like you would anyone else.

He’s not the fearsome Manjiro Sano to you.

He’s just a stranger you inconvenienced, and for some reason, that soothes him. He’s not a killer in your eyes. He’s not a person who’s continuously done the wrong thing for the past few years. He’s just... him.

“It’s okay,” he replies after a moment, tucking his hands inside the pockets of his hoodie. “It’s late, though. You shouldn’t be out around this time of night. It’s dangerous.”

“Oh, I know,” you scrunch up your nose, “Gangs are running rampant and all. But this is the only time I can take a high-paying shift, and what’s the point of safety if I can’t pay my bills, right?”

He doesn’t know how to answer that. He hasn’t worried about bills in a long time – Kokonoi has that covered. Instead, he nods, finding it hard to look away from you. “Stay safe, then. And if you need help, then...” Then, what? The gangs would help? Bonten would keep you safe? No, that was ridiculous. Bonten was the one thing everyone wanted to be protected from.

It hits him, then, that he is the monster that makes everyone feel unsafe. And for once in his life since he’d established Bonten, Mikey feels sick.

He doesn’t want to be the cause of your worries.

— It doesn’t take much to find out everything about you – where you work, where you live, when your shifts happen, and even silly details like what your favourite flavour or cup ramen is. He tells himself he’s doing this for your safety, and in a way, he is. You weren’t kidding when you said you take graveyard shifts because it pays the best, so upon finding out you come home really late, and go to work just as, Mikey takes it upon himself to watch from afar. Never approaching, never striking a conversation – because he doesn’t know what to say, and how could he explain he knows your routine by now – but always watching. Guarding. Protecting. He must look ominous gazing upon you from buildings afar, but he’s content with it. He thinks he can do this for as long as he likes, simply watching you from afar.

— But then he realizes he wants more.

— And he doesn’t know what ‘more’ means exactly. More time with you? You don’t even know who he is. More conversations? He’d probably stumble over his words, or make the worst jokes. Fuck. He hasn’t joked in a while. Would you even find him funny? He thinks about all day long, all night long, until you’re the only one running into his mind and he’s been so mentally checked out of his own meetings that his executives have – politely – asked him to just take a while for himself.

— So he does, and because he was never good at controlling his urges, he goes to you. He dresses a little nicer than usual; a newly ironed shirt, a good pair of jeans, and even asked Rindou to fix his hair up for him. “Going on a date?” he’d teased, but even Mikey doesn’t know how to answer that. It’s not a date, but he’d be damned if he let another day go by that you didn’t know his name.

— He introduced himself, rather awkwardly, and pretends like he didn’t come to your work on purpose. “I didn’t know you worked here,” he says, and it couldn’t be a bigger lie. But you just smile up at him like you’re happy to see him, like you’ve been hoping to meet again, and for a moment, Mikey lets himself believe that it could be true. Maybe he deserves that smile. Maybe someone actually wants to see him. He lingers on that delusion long enough that he’s matched his routine with yours – walking you back home, letting you talk about how much you hate your boss, and hate your sleazy customers even more. It’s not easy being a waitress, especially when you’re forced to wear tight-fitting clothes with the intention of attracting customers. And it gets to him. The darkness and rage he’s been letting quietly simmer beneath his veins as to not scare you off finally resurfaces.

— He hates it all – hates how you’re in such an unfortunate situation, and there’s only so little he could do. Until he realizes he’s the Manjiro Sano. After sending in Sanzu to deal with your boss, who may or may not have been gently blackmailed into treating you better and giving you higher pay or else, Mikey notices the weight being lifted off your shoulder. You’ve started smiling more and even invite him to your place one time to celebrate your ‘fortunes.’

“Are you sure?” he asks rather warily, “I mean, it’s late at night.”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” you reassure him, and lead him inside your home. He almost feels bad for you for being so unaware. You don’t have the slightest idea you’re bringing a killer in the safety of your home, but he doesn’t get the chance to dwell on it when you turn on the lights. He’s greeted by your homey apartment, a little cluttered, a little messy, and it’s a little small for you that he can’t imagine would be comfortable – but it’s yours, and you’re proud of it. Pulling out a mat, you tell him to make himself at home while you prepare some celebratory snacks. They’re nothing fancy – mostly chips, cheap wine, and a few hardened candies.

It’s probably the worst timing to realize he’s falling in love.

First of all, there’s nothing romantic about watching you lean against the counter, humming to yourself as you pop open the wine. Second of all, you don’t look enticing or seductive. Not in your mismatched pyjamas and even more hilariously mismatched socks. But you are enticing – from the way your throat vibrates at your humming, to your quick, swift movements preparing the snacks. You look so at home, so content, that he can’t help but want that for himself. Want you for himself. He wants you at his place and to decorate it as you wish. He wants you to liven it up and scatter knick-knacks all over his room. He wants your toothbrush next to his in the bathroom. He wants you – wants all of you – from your crumpled shirt, to your aching shoulders after a long day at work, wants to kiss it all better for you.

He wants you.

And when the Bonten Head wants something, he will get it.

— If someone told him that a few years from now that his silly musings at three in the morning would finally come true, he’d have scoffed at them. But this is his reality is now, and how he’ll spend the rest of his life.

You’re standing next to him in his bathroom, brushing your teeth while simultaneously humming to yourself. He’s heard the melody enough to have memorized it. And when he’s having a hard day, he sings it to himself, although it never sounds as good like when you do it. The tune is comforting, a reminder you’re in his life now, that everything’s worked out. You married him, and he couldn’t be a happier man.

“Something wrong, Manjiro?” you ask after rinsing your mouth, turning to him with a hand on your hips. Stern, yet unbelievably gentle. Cupping his cheeks with your hands, he melts. “Tell me. How can I make it better?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he says, and it’s the truth. The moment is all too perfect. You’re here with him, you’re safe, and you’ve loved him after everything he’s done. “Just wanna hold you.”

You break him to it. Lunging into his arms, you giggle and bury yourself around his neck, knowing full well he’ll catch you. Mikey laughs, too, but it’s quieter, more reserved, the sound nearly muted because your skin is pressing against his so hard that it becomes hard to fathom there was ever a time he felt he wasn’t worth of love. And maybe he still isn’t. He still has Bonten, he still has horrible urges, he still gets the demanding itch to kill and hurt – but you’re there, in his arms, and he feels the darkness slowly simmer into tamed shadows.

♡ — HAITANI RAN

Ran is not subtle with his feelings. He believes in the beauty and art of flirting, of holding one’s gazes for just a second longer than what was considered polite, the fleeting, yet burning touches one could pass off as innocent. He’s had enough experience in his life to have mastered it. He’s handsome, he’s irresistible, and he knows it. Beauty and charm is a weapon he wasn’t ashamed of wielding, especially not around his current flavour of the month – or more like months, now. He’s played this game of tic tac toe with you, this push and pull, for so long that he feels he’ll lose his mind.

Like everyone else in Bonten, he usually gets what he wants. But you’re different. You’re attracted to him – that much he knows – but you’re the one responsible for all of Bonten’s uniform and suits that your attraction borders just on the edge of professionalism. But he knows. Oh, he knows. You aren’t so subtle yourself.

Each time he comes around for a fitting, your lips twitch as if you’re fighting back a smile. He also doesn’t fail to notice how you’re gesturing around to your staff in the shop to give you two ‘privacy.’ Bonten executive or not, Ran isn’t foolish – he knows he’s the only one receiving this special treatment. Knows you don’t touch your other clients like this – with a perfectly manicured nail grazing down his arm, your eyes lidded with lust, your blood-red lips caught between your teeth.

It makes Ran yearn.

He wants those same claws to run down scratches behind his back. He wants to take those lips into his mouth, instead, to have you ruin his suits by staining it with your lipstick on his collar, his neck, his tie, his pants. It’d give him more of a reason to come back, anyway. But you just had to be so professional that he always leaves the shop with his pants feeling tighter than ever, his lungs constricted because it becomes hard to breathe around you, yet feeling so addicted to the high of having you so close, yet so far away.

“You should come back for another fitting,” you call out to him just as he swings the door open. He freezes. He’s always the one scheduling a fitting. Unable to help it, he shuts the door and locks it, smirking to himself when he hears the vague hitching of your breath behind the counter.

“And why is that?”

“Oh, you know,” you manage to tease, but ah. He can see right through you. Even with your nonchalant facade, he can tell he’s getting under your veins with every step he takes to close the distance between you. Damn the counter. Damn any customers who might be waiting outside. For now, there’s only him and you, and he thinks he may damn well truly ruin his pants when you look up at him with eyes blown wide with want. With need.

He wishes you could just let go and give in.

“I, in fact, don’t know. But do care to enlighten me,” leaning down, he rests his arms against the counter, glad to finally be at your eye level. You’re prettier in this angle, which baffles him, because you’re already so pretty enough it hurts. And he can’t help but wonder if you’d look a hundred times better in... different angles. An angle under him, perhaps, where you’re helpless and forced to clutch his biceps while you hold on for dear life. Because Ran guarantees once he gets his hands on you, he’s never letting go.

“I just think,” with narrowed eyes, he feels your heated gaze travel from his face that’s inches away from yours down to his chest, and to the bulge constricted around his pants. You let out a breathy sound at the sight of it, his body responding by growing even harder. “Your pants are too tight for you now. Perhaps we should make you a better one?”

“I have other ways in mind in which we could resolve this problem. Preferably one that doesn’t consist of measuring tapes,” he raises his brow, watches as you slowly unfold and unravel right at his palms. It’s almost satisfying. Almost. He’s wanted you for so long that frustration is more what he feels right now, and impatience. “Although I’m not entirely against using ropes.”

♡ — HAITANI RINDOU

Rindou doesn’t concern himself with civilians. He has better things to do, and after a long day, he’s more than ready to just plop himself into bed and wake up only when the world is ending. Or, he could just let it end, too. He couldn’t care any less. Unfortunately for him, though, the universe has different plans for him that night. He just wanted to get a damned drink, for fuck’s sake, until he hears screaming and the shuffling of feet as soon as he steps out of the convenience store.

“Stop him!” someone squeals, the cry helpless and desperate. From where he stood, wine bottle on one hand, he could see the figure of a man running with what seemed like a bag clutched to his chest. “Someone help, please!”

Rindou sighs. There’s nothing more that he hates more than petty crimes that are more inconveniences than impactful. Before he could register what he’s doing, Rindou’s arm extended out in front of himself, and within the blink of an eye, the thief whizzing past him had been caught by the collar. The thief struggles against his hold, whining and thrashing with curses thrown his way.

“Let me fucking go, you oaf!”

“I don’t think so,” Rindou tips his head to the side just as a figure appeared behind the thief. You stand there, wheezing to catch your breath with your hands on your knees. At the sight of him effortlessly restraining the thief, you break out into a relieved sigh and snatch back your bag, holding it more possessively. And oh, aren’t you just pretty? With your skin layered with a sheen of sweat from all that running, cheeks damp with tears, your frown now replaced with a grateful smile – Rindou feels like you’re the thief. “Whoa. Careful with that smile, sweetheart.”

Your brows furrow, and he nearly groans. It should be a crime for someone to look so adorably confused. “What?”

“Okay, that’s enough, they got their bag back, now let me go!”

Right. He still had a lame excuse of a criminal on his hand. With a roll of his eyes, Rindou throws the man against to the ground until he’s coughing out blood from when he hit the pavement. He hears you gasp, and it makes him wince. He hadn’t meant to be so harsh. You’re probably afraid of him now.

“Run along,” he warns the petty thief, and he didn’t need to be told twice. As soon as the man disappears, Rindou turns to you, a lazy smile making its way into his face. “You know, I usually hate being troubled, but this might be the first time I don’t mind as much.”

Your jaw drops. You look around frantically in your bag for a moment, and just when he thinks you can’t get anymore interesting, you pull out a wad of cash and shove it to him. Rindou cocks a brow. “And what is that for, sweetheart?”

“To-to thank you for saving me! And it’s also an apology because I troubled you...”

Rindou fights the urge to scoff. “I feel like I should be offended,” he says in a sing-song manner, only because you don’t take the teasing well, and the sight of you stumbling over your words is already making his night. He wants to reassure you it’s no trouble at all, that he’ll easily catch all your thieves for you, or that you can steal his heart and never give it back to him. But he doesn’t, because he’s just met you, and maybe, just maybe, he’s curious how this will go.

“Oh, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“Say, if you really want to thank me, why don’t we share this?” he lifts his wine bottle, and you eye it for a moment before nodding eagerly. His heart drops. He lowers the bottle, his voice growing darker – yet make no mistake. Behind his scowl and hardened eyes, his heart is beating a mile a minute, and his skin is burning impossibly hot. “Don’t you think you say yes a little too easily?”

“Uhm, but you saved me. You helped me, and this is how you want to be thanked.”

Rindou thinks his brain might short-circuit. You are definitely trouble.

“I could be more dangerous than him, you know,” he leans toward you menacingly to prove a point, but you don’t cower. Your breath hitches, and you clutch your bag tighter. But you don’t move away, and neither can he. Now that he’s closer, he can smell your strawberry scented perfume and he shuts his eyes, greedily inhaling the scent. Shit. He hasn’t even drunk anything, and he already feels intoxicated. Taking a step back for his own sanity, Rindou levels you a warning glare. “You really should be more careful, sweet. Perhaps it’ll lower the chances of you running into trouble.”

“Oh,” you look dejected, though he could just be imagining it. “Yeah, okay, uh... I’ll be more careful. Thank you again...?”

“Rindou.”

“Rindou,” you repeat, and he realizes his name sounds sweeter when you say. With a scrunch of your nose, you eye the wine in his hands again. “Will I see you again? I really want to thank you for your help.”

With such a sweet offer, how can he resist? He’d be stupid to say no – even if you were trouble, it’s fine. He wasn’t notorious for being a troublemaker for no reason anyway.

[authorred]

Li Shen/Zayne (N)SFW Headcanons bc I'm horny for this man | Love and Deepspace | gn!Reader

Preface: As enigmatic Doctor Zayne tries to be, it's not difficult for you to figure him out. In fact, it unnerves him a little as to how easily you can pick him apart (not that he'd ever admit it and blow your ego up)

I LOVE THIS MAN MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF OKAY--XAVIER MIGHT BE NEXT SO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THAT POOKIE X

This will definitely be NSFW (18+) so minors DNI (do not interact). Unless you do, which in that case I refuse to be held responsible for the content you consume.

Warning(s): NSFW content sprinkled in

Established lightweight--one glass of wine would make him a bit tipsy, but 4+ would make him borderline drunk

Gets more affectionate when drunk but is super pouty during??? Like he's not the one who touched you first??? Acts like he doesn't want to even though his hands are literally mapping your body like a constellation???? Tsundere even when drunk and obvious smh

When the jig is up he accepts defeat and just hugs you--doesn't care about sex or whatever, but wants to keep you close in whatever form that may be

Calls you 'my dear' a lot, and sometimes when he's feeling real romantical he'll call you 'darling, my love, sweetheart'

Doesn't like calling you 'baby'--it feels infantilizing to him. Same thing with 'baby girl' (to my fem!readers) but might do it on occasion if you really like it

Doesn't care if you call him petnames or not, but if you do he really enjoys 'my love' or if you have a nickname in another language (e.g: mi amor, 親愛なる, mon cœur, etc)

If you can speak more than one language fluently he is extremely impressed--he probably never bothered to learn another language that thoroughly, but he's super eager to be taught by you

Domestic, husband material as the fandom has agreed upon

Learn to cook together, or teach each other recipes

Is not dominant in the bedroom--or at the very least, a switch

Because you're telling me THIS MAN WHO WORKS HIS ASS OFF SAVING PEOPLE'S LIVES AND HAS THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE COUNTING ON HIM AND HIS RESEARCH AND WORK IS GOING TO GO HOME AND CONTINUE MAKING DECISIONS?

No

Not how that works psychologically

He is for your pleasure 100% but it's from a submissive stance

Will know what you want/how you want it/where you want it, and will give it to you without being asked if you're tired or are also mentally fatigued

Probably would not ask to be pleasured back, that's something you have to ease him into bc he doesn't feel he needs/deserves it?

Suck him off

Sometimes he'll come home frustrated from a bad work day, and then he might get a bit pushy/dominant

But overall he is submissive

Definitely is a top when it comes to penetration--wouldn't mind trying to get ate out/fucked from behind but I genuinely doubt he'd enjoy it that much

Might do it occasionally if you want it that badly

Does not get jealous, but gets territorial in a very condescending way

Is scared to love you at first

But he can't help it

I don't think he'd mind having kids, but I also don't think he'd mind not having kids--it'd be up to you, really

He would make a great father though--especially to a girl

Would die for you--genuinely, no exaggeration, would lay down his life for you if it meant you lived

Jokes on him bc you'd die for him too

His neck is sensitive to the touch

Always cold, please warm him up thanks

I feel like he likes iced tea but hates Arizona Tea

Likes teasing you a lot, nonsexually

He'd do well with someone contrasting to his personality

Wouldn't mind owning a cat or two, he'd just feel bad since he would have little time to spend with it

Is a sound sleeper but wakes easily

[ch6sos]

random choso headcanons

i <3 choso i <3 making odd ball headcanons so here u guys go

content warning mentions of "metabolism", social anxiety/anxiety (not bad though) + motion sickness, and this is not proofread and lowercase so if any of those Like makes you tingle please don't read this my sweet

he’s emo as hell, he listens to emo music. now he's the one i actually imagine listening to my chemical romance, pierce the veil, etc. (bc with nanami I feel like he'd listen to more 80s-90s rock music but this isn't about my first husband)

he suffers from insomnia and finds it difficult to sleep unless he has someone he cares about in the room or at least snuggling with him.

peacemaker: he is a peacemaker when it comes to his brothers.

"hey yuji, you should really share with him. "

"no!"

"yuji...." 

"fine."

he has an earthy aroma—he often uses colognes with earthy notes that are not overpowering (i  think he might be sensitive to strong scents).

i imagine him experiencing motion sickness. for some reason, i imagine him feeling dizzy in a car, or being unable to handle a rollercoaster without feeling extremely unwell.

would probably work at your local hot topic especially if this was set during the 2000s era where hot topic was actually catered to the alternative scene. or a tattoo shop!

several piercings. on his left ear, he has an industrial, a triple lobe piercing, and a conch— his right having a double helix piercing, a tragus, and a single lobe piercing.... and then he has an eyebrow piercing and a labret piercing :)

enjoys watching christmas movies because a lot of them are about family!

deeply family-oriented, he genuinely just wants to grow up with a family. a big one, too.

thus he may have a fear of being alone, which makes me believe that he is introverted but also genuinely afraid of ending up alone as he grows older. he values the presence of family and wants to ensure that they always surround him.

he comes across as a bit shy initially, not necessarily awkward, but it takes some time to get to know him.

still not too talkative but genuinely chill to talk to.

has a lot of accessories when he wears outfits, especially bracelets or necklaces. 

black is what you find in his closet. just black (and a couple of purples and reds but mainly black)

he be thrifting them outfit pieces too idc idc he not a shein warrior

is a bit insecure about his dark circles and markings on his face (i could imagine he still has the markings but they look more like a scar rather than what it looks like in the actual manga/anime) so he begins to cover them up with concealer sometimes.

eats a LOT of junk food and somehow doesn't gain weight. bro probably can eat a whole box of pizza with wings and doesn't even gain a pound.

he is genuinely clueless/oblivious when it comes to relationships like he doesn't know when someone's flirting with him unless they tell them straight up. and when they tell him he's like:

"...oh! me...?" because he genuinely thinks, “wow, someone likes me?!?!”

plus he would ask before initiating even after being in a relationship

“do… do you mind if i kiss you?”

“cho we’ve been dating for five months”

“oh… i’m sorry for asking… again.”

spends a lot of time on his hair !!! he has to wake up early sometimes just to do his hair. and he doesn't plan on cutting it, only trims it once in a while.

when he's home he either has it down or has it in a ponytail. he even has a silk pillowcase so it never gets frizzy.

cats or dogs— no. he likes turtles. he even has a pet turtle.

i think that he wouldn't vape or smoke the way people might expect him to. i believe he may have a weak immune system, which would make it difficult for him to engage in such activities.

socially anxious as hell bro tweaks out when he has to order at a restaurant... 

but overall he’s an anxious person, i feel like he’d suffer from anxiety a lot (as someone who has anxiety i just can tell he’d be the type to have it too)

when he dates someone he's really touchy with them because he craves physical touch. he especially enjoys when someone plays with his hair he falls asleep in a millisecond.

he loves sketching in a notebook, he loves drawing nature a lot! he likes going to the park or a forest and drawing what he sees. he also enjoys drawing people and i imagine he always draws pictures of yuji too, and he shows them to him.

tease him and his face is red, his eyes are widened, and his face is in absolute shock...

literally the sweetest guy ever; he's always looking out for everyone and makes sure everyone around him is okay

he's always cold thus needs someone to cuddle him.

is fascinated by some amphibians and watches national geographic sometimes when he knows they're going to talk about amphibians. especially frogs!

his most used app on his Black iPhone 13 Pro Max would be Spotify and he is top 0.1% listener for some underrated metal band

creative hobbies more than physical hobbies (sketching, journaling, sewing)

HE CROCHETS IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS HE LITERALLY MADE A CROCHET ROSE FOR YUKI I D O NOT GIVE A DAMN 

when he laughs it's like a silent soft chuckle, and he usually covers his mouth when he does it

gets emotional easily, especially when he receives love. for a long time, he couldn’t believe that he would ever be loved so when he is receiving affection he gets overwhelmed and tries not to cry because he thinks “how?? why me?”

he loves holding hands. he tries not to freak out but when someone holds his hands when he’s freaking out or just in general, he loves the feeling of their warm hands against his very cold ones

apologises alot even though everything is not his fault

when he’s mad he needs time to cool off especially because he gets emotional easily. he needs time to himself before calming down before discussing his emotions with someone.

speaking of emotions, i don’t think he’d be bad at expressing emotions or speaking about it, at first yes but he begins to grow better at it and plus sometimes the way he shows emotion is more impulsive and involuntary rather than on purpose

listens more than talks because he is too busy getting sidetracked by his own thoughts or he genuinely can't talk to people sometimes

he has a fidget toy because he is always fidgeting with his fingers so yuji got him a fidget toy (probably a fidget spinner) and was fascinated with it and it didn’t help it just something he distracts himself with when he doesn’t feel like being present in a conversation or just in general

cried when yuji graduated and gave him the hugest hug of his life. and i don’t mean a few tears he BAWLED he was bawling because he was so proud of his little brother.

spends time with yuji a lot sometimes more than his own friends and they always go to the arcade or mall together

yuji got him a picture frame of him and choso posing and choso cried for several days because he couldn’t believe he has such an amazing brother

learns gen z lingo just for yuji

“oh yuji! that was very w rizz of you!”

“...what?”

“i didn’t know you had that much aura!”

I  Love Him

Missing him come back emo king

[yuujispinkhair]

Great, now I can’t decide on being Yuji’s housewife or Yuji being my househusband. wuwuwuwuwuwu

Aww that is so true!! Both would be perfect!! I wrote some headcanons for both versions, so you can decide which one you prefer :)

Pairing: Yuuji x Reader (female) Genre: fluff + smut Word Count: 1.5k Warnings: 18+, some smutty scenes, oral, fingering, creampie. All characters are of age. This story is 18+. Minors don't interact.

Version 1: Being Yuuji's housewife

Being Yuuji's housewife who stays at home while Yuuji, your hero, goes on missions to keep the city safe. Either as a Jujutsu sorcerer or as a firefighter. You are so proud of your husband, and anytime you tell him, he gets the cutest blush on his cheeks and the happiest smile on his handsome face.

Yuuji is so grateful for you to be so patient and understanding of his work schedule and that he sometimes has to leave the house at ungodly hours.

His job can be tough and emotionally draining. But anytime Yuuji looks at his lock screen on his phone and sees your face, he knows that he will make it through this day too because he knows at home you are waiting for him, ready to comfort him and love him, and that gives him the strength to go on.

"I am so lucky to have you, baby. Thank you so much for taking such good care of me!" Yuuji truly means it! It's so comforting to know that you are looking after the household, taking this weight off his shoulders, and making his apartment a real home filled with love and warmth.

There are also evenings when Yuuji comes home all riled up because he encountered some stuff at work that made him angry or sad, and now he needs you so much to help him fuck all those negative feelings away. He is so grateful that you let him take you as hard as he needs on those nights.

It's the best stress relief for him to pound your wet pussy until both of you scream from pleasure. And suddenly, your usually so gentle husband is using all his strength to push your face into the pillow and fuck you so rough that you see stars.

Yuuji brings you flowers every week to show you how happy he is that you stay at home and are his sweet housewife. He is grinning from ear to ear and kissing you tenderly when he presses the bouquet into your arms and thanks you for your hard work. Other guys might not see all the work you do at home, but Yuuji knows how much effort it takes to look after a household, and he is genuinely so grateful for everything you do.

Yuuji doesn't have much time during his workday, but he still makes sure to send you short texts or pictures from work, making you smile fondly at your phone. It's so sweet to see how he thinks of you, even during his busy work schedule.

Firefighter Yuuji makes you go "aww" when he sends you pictures of the animals he rescued from trees or burning houses. "Look at this little man who got stuck on a tree!" And on Yuuji's broad shoulders sits a fluffy cat that snuggles gratefully against your husband while Yuuji grins into the camera and makes a thumbs-up pose.

Jujutsu sorcerer Yuuji sends you pictures of interesting places he visits during his missions. He knows that you tend to get worried about him, so he uses those little messages to reassure you. A sign that he is ok and will come home to you again. And there is always an "I love you, baby." at the end of every message. Because Yuuji knows that his work is dangerous, and if something should happen to him, he wants you to know how he feels about you.

As hard as his job is, Yuuji still helps so much with the household chores! That's just the way he is. You don't have to tell him to take out the trash or to please help with the dishes. Those are things Yuuji does without needing a reminder.

And there are also a lot of occasions on which sweet Yuuji tells you that tonight he is in charge of dinner and you should just take a nice bath or watch your fave show. After all, he loves cooking and, even more importantly, he loves you, and he knows how tiring it can be to do the same household tasks every single day. He did that for several years while his grandpa was too sick to do those things. So he understands that sometimes you need a break too!

Yuuji makes you feel appreciated and loved. And even though you usually just wear your ratty sweatpants or leggings and Yuuji's hoodies with no makeup and unstyled hair, you always feel desired because Yuuji shows you and tells you how much he wants you and how pretty and sexy you are to him.

You might be cleaning the sink when your husband suddenly hugs you from behind, kisses your neck, and lets his large warm hands wander under your shirt to caress your tits and then slip one hand into your pants to play with you while his hoarse voice whispers in your ear how crazy you drive him. "My sexy cutie. The cutest housewife ever. I think you should take a break now, baby. Let me take care of you now."

And your strong and sexy husband picks you up in his muscular arms and carries you to your bed, where he shows you how much he appreciates his cute little housewife by making you cum over and over again on his thick cock while telling you how good you are for him.

All in all, being Yuuji's housewife is a very nice and relaxed job. He helps so much and is so full of praise and appreciation for your work!

Version 2: Househusband Yuuji

Househusband Yuuji is the sweetest thing to come home to after a stressful day at work! He greets you with that bright sunshine smile on his pretty face and a tight and warm hug. That happy sparkle in his honey eyes is pure serotonin to you, and the feeling of that firm, tall body full of muscles and warmth is very comforting!

A yummy dinner is waiting for you every night. Staying at home gave Yuuji a chance to excel even more at cooking. He loves to watch cooking shows and learn new recipes. And he is amazing at it! You eat better than in most restaurants!

Househusband Yuuji is your safe place. He always listens to you when you need to pour your heart out. His tight warm hugs and reassuring words always make you feel better.

And Yuuji lets you be soft. While at work, you have to be strong and act professionally, here at home, you can melt into Yuuji's strong arms and use his buff chest as your pillow while he strokes your hair and lets you vent.

His growled, "I will punch that idiot if he ever rats you out to your boss again," when you complain about your asshole coworker, makes you smile. The knowledge that Yuuji, who used to get called The Tiger of West Junior High and beat up bullies in high school, would actually do that if you wanted, is so comforting. Even though you would never ask him to do that for real because you don't want your sweet man to get in trouble.

Househusband Yuuji always prepares a lunchbox for you. And your workday gets so much better anytime you find a cute little message in it. A scribbled "I love you, cutie!" or "Don't let them get you down. You got this, baby!" or other sweet and encouraging things. And you always get the best bento with cute animal faces and everything. All your coworkers are jealous of your lunchbox and that you have such a super hot and supportive husband at home.

Yuuji is good at housework! He is used to it since he had to learn how to do all chores, cook, and manage a household when he was still a teenager. He used to live alone and look after himself, so he knows what he's doing. And Yuuji is very committed to pleasing you and giving you a comfy and clean home to relax in after work. He takes his work as a househusband very seriously!

Househusband Yuuji also looks lovingly after every pet you might get. And, of course, after your kids, if you have any. He is such a loving daddy for pets and kids! So sweet and protective and fun. You come home to loud laughter and squealing when Yuuji plays games with your toddler and/or pet. It instantly manages to brighten your day when you hear those happy sounds.

Househusband Yuuji is a very caring man who knows exactly how to take care of you after a stressful day at work. You forget all your problems when Yuuji's pretty face is buried between your spread thighs, and his sweet lips and tongue make love to your pussy until you are a sobbing and happy mess.

While your boss might not praise you for all the hard work, Yuuji never gets tired of telling you how proud he is of you! He is balls-deep in you, dicking you down so good that you scratch his muscular back with your fingernails, and all the while, his sweet sexy voice moans the sweetest praise into your ear.

"You are such a good girl, so hard working. I am so proud of you, princess. Does this feel good, baby? You deserve to cum so hard, baby." And you always do. Yuuji makes sure of that. And so you cum on his cock, on his tongue, or on his fingers, moaning his name and crying from all the love and pleasure your husband gives to you.

No matter how challenging your job is, coming home to your loving and sexy househusband and getting a nice creampie almost every night makes everything good again.

Thank you so much for reading! And also thank you so much for sending me this ask!! It made me so happy to imagine those scenarios!! I am more the housewife type, so I will pick version 1 :) I know Yuuji would be so appreciative awww. It warms my heart to think about him!

Which version do you choose? :) Please let me know how you liked these little headcanons. Comments and reblogs make me happy :)

[goobtopia]

could u do the couch scene with oliver and farleigh except its reader and farleigh? and just kind of expand on that scene please🤭

(i wanted to be oliver SO bad in that scene it’s not even funny)

fuck, chuck, or marry — part one

part two.

i trieeed not making it exactly like the movie i hope u like it :)

!! 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT !!

saltburn!au: reader has taken oliver quick's place, infiltrating the catton family, but they're much better at blending in. farleigh, being the smartest one of them all remains unconvinced.

warnings: swearing, sexual dialogue, allusions to sex, mentions of sex, no actual smut, reader is just as crazy as ollie don’t get it twisted

[requests are open]

☆ masterlist ☆

-

You're leaning against Felix's shoulder, both legs thrown over one of Farleigh's who was spreading his own. You watched the odd woman from earlier's train wreck of a husband perform Apple Bottom Jeans with increasingly less enthusiasm as he seems to gain it, whipping his coat and throwing it haphazardly in the room.

"Alright fuck this I'm gonna go get a drink.” Felix proclaims tapping Venetia on her arm, willing her to join him over at the bar cart leaving you and Farleigh alone.

He leans over to you, pressing his arm against yours letting you feel the roughness of his freshly pressed dress shirt against you. "Fuck, chuck, or marry?" He starts in that unassuming tone, you don't look at him just yet. "Richard the III, Henry the VIl, or Henry the VIII?" His eyes bore holes into the side of your face, "You know I think I'd fuck Richard the IlI." He expressed to which you hummed, as if this was the most engaging conversation of the night.

"He's so insecure, so, you know he'd put in the work, right?" You turned to him, doe eyed as he giggles to himself. "You could just fuck me." He's not laughing anymore, but there's a wicked grin etched across your face. "But you've been a tattle tale, telling Felix about me and Venetia." You accused, looking over your nose at him. You'd been more than enemies and less than friends upon your introduction, you might ve even given Farleigh that show underneath his window on purpose.

"It's not like I knew he'd be mad." He whispered, a faint smile coming back onto his face. You draped an elbow across the couch to rest your head on, letting the other roam above Farleigh's knee. "You knew." You opposed him, giving him a slight squeeze so he answered immediately "Yeah, I knew." He admitted, his face evidently eager so you removed your hand from his slacks and laid it on his chest in a seemingly innocent way to everyone else.

"Farleigh if you ever needed my help why haven't you just asked?" You can see him become suspicious immediately, readying his defenses as needed. "What do you mean?" His brows twitch downward in expectation.

"Well, because if anyone knows how you feel it's me, when things at home are... delicate." You reach over and twirl the end of a piece of his hair in between your fingers with your free hand. "You get scared, feel lonely." You trail a finger down a button from his collar, watching as it descends.

"And it must be humiliating to have to go to them every time you need something." You dropped the secret you'd been harboring after overhearing him and Felix outside earlier.

You sighed, reaching down to the next button slowly wearing him down. "and I know you hate me." He cuts you off, "I-I don't hate you." He rolls his eyes, yet still sounds sincere enough to convince you he's being genuine. His hand snakes around your waist unnoticed by anyone else in the room.

You smile, knowing you have him where you want him just enough, "But instead of outing me, I could’ve helped you. I have ways of getting things done and l'd be happy to lend a hand." You barely correct yourself, Farleigh holds eyes contact whispering softly to you, "When I want something from you, you'll know."

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

when I took a month off work I was lowkey worried I'd come back and find everyone had been fine without me and I wasn't needed at all (because being terrible at every previous job I've had did some ✨damage✨ to my self confidence)

but that is not what happened

I have never encountered someone so fucking happy to see me as my boss' wife was on my first day back, her face lit up like it was christmas, she was practically jumping for joy because now that I'm back she doesn't have to do the ops team's fucking timesheets anymore

I have been told by one of the ops guys that my leave of absence had caused a genuine rift in the boss' marriage because his wife hated doing my job so much they were actively fighting about it

to be clear, his wife is lovely, she doesn't usually throw a shit fit about just anything, it was just that my job is just so fucking annoying that she hated every second of it, and that was the most validating shit I have ever experienced in my LIFE

and the reason she was pissed off at my boss/her husband about it is because he's too soft on his crew and doesn't make them all report their hours for the week

which, as you can imagine, makes building their timesheets extremely fucking difficult

it basically turns the whole process into a puzzle that I have to solve using roughly three different sources of information, one of which is the boss himself who isn't always easy to get ahold of when he's on a site

this puzzle is made even more difficult by the fact that a glitch in our form system keeps messing up the dates on the timecards, so I have to cross reference the time cards from the two (2) ops team members, who actually DO fill out their forms, with the roster, but my boss often changes the roster at the last minute without telling me or noting it down, so then I have to cross reference with the reports they have to submit for certain ongoing jobs because they'll have correct dates and also a list of who was present (if they were doing one off smalltime jobs that week I'll have no physical records and will rely entirely on the boss' memory to confirm dates and staff numbers, unless I can get ahold of one of the ops team members themselves and there's only one who will reliably communicate with me but only when he's not currently on a site)

I tried to explain this process to boss' wife before I left and, looking horrified, she asked me 'is there no way to streamline this?' I replied 'this is streamlined'

as far as I'm aware, as long as I've worked there, there has only been a handful of times people were paid incorrectly, and it was because I was not given correct information by the boss, in the time I was gone, his wife told me that she had incorrectly logged several pays because of this broken ass system

so, as you could imagine, my ego is through the fucking roof right now, I am GOOD at this bullshit job, I took an impossible system and made it work, I am playing on hard mode and killing it, in a field I had zero experience in before taking this job other than a natural inclination for organising and scheduling

and to be clear, I love this job, the boss is too soft on his staff but he's a good guy, he makes us all feel valued and appreciated, he paid me above my award rate, he's absurdly accommodating, and I have an insane amount of freedom to do what I want with company files

I may be working with a bullshit system but I can take naps in the office whenever I want and tell my boss off when he's being too soft (one time his wife literally started clapping when I told him off for sending clients their reports before they'd paid for them) and I get to control when I work, and whether I work from home or the office (which is GREAT when my back flares up)

I might not get many hours (only 16 hours per week) because the company is so small and I run out of things to do because I've streamlined everything (boss literally called me TOO EFFICIENT), but he'll give me those 16 even if I spend half of it playing solitaire and watching youtube

so just, yeah, it feels so good to be confident in my work, to feel valued and appreciated and like I'm actually successful at something after being handed dud jobs for years that I wasn't cut out for, and now knowing that what I'm doing is actually genuinely hard but I've been doing it anyway without fail, makes me feel good!

so tldr; taking a month off work taught me I have phenomenal job security because if my boss ever fires me his wife might actually fucking kill him

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Monday Fandom :) This episode is all kinds of cute. I love it so much. We get to see the depth of what Lucy would do for Tim. After he just showed up what he’d do for her in 5x12. It’s so good. Let us get started.

5x13 Daddy Cop

We start with Lucy in roll call. I would like to point out Lucy picking a spot in the back of the room. She’s never once done that before. Doing it so she can check in on her husband. Lucy is somewhat subtle about it. But she can’t help but check on him. Knowing the bullet he took for them. She literally can’t help but look back on her man. Such lingering glances too. *heart clutch.* You can see in the second one he’s looking back at her too. How can these two kill me so much with such subtle glances? Damnit I love them so much.

Lucy could not be cuter running up to see Tim before her shift. Physically turning his chair around. He couldn’t be happier to see her. First time we’ve seen him light up today. You guys are so loud and I love it. Little work flirt before her shift. Lucy saying looks like he has a lot to uh....Liaise LOL Tim straight lying to his person like he thinks he can get away with that nonsense. Lucy replying she thought they would never lie to each other.

Tim shooting back 'That was a lie.' Lmao I’m dying their banter on point as usual. The sassy face she gives him. Be more married you two please. Love these idiots in love. Lucy can’t stand it and says he’s miserable. Tim with a very unconvincing ‘No…’ Lucy isn’t buying what you’re selling....Babe your girlfriend sees right through you. Always has. She has the book of Tim locked away in her head.

Tim trying to convince her it’s not that bad. 'Nice people…Low stress….'The more you speak the more she knows you’re dying Tim. A subtle cry for help. Or not so subtle really lol He doesn’t regret doing this for her at all. But she can’t stand him doing this when he’s so clearly miserable. Lucy knows this man. He will suffer in silence if it makes her happy and they get to be together. A decision I know he would make again. Because she is his person also as we saw last ep his blindspot. So he would do anything even at his own detriment.

Her big friggin dork of a man giving her a thumbs up and telling her to 'Be safe out there.' LMAO I love this man so much. Dork Tim has been activated. She loves this goober in front of her nonetheless. Lucy’s cute head tilt knowing he’s putting on an act for her. Then he lights up like a Christmas tree saying he’ll see her at the end of shift. He can’t wait because he has someone to go home to now and I love this.

The most genuine he is the entire scene. Knowing he will get to see her end of shift. The best part of his day will be seeing her and I love that. It’s written all over his beautiful face. Lucy however isn’t smiling as she walks away. Knowing this job is making him miserable and she can’t stand it. His intentions being the best and purest. But also knowing she needs to fix this for him somehow. She just doesn’t know how just yet…

Lucy sees Metro piling in and immediately thinks of her man. How well he would do there. How good he would fit in. I just adore her conferring with Harper one this. Also her spending the entire episode trying to find him a better position. Earlier in the episode they had a convo about a 5 player trade. Trying to create an opening so one could open up for Tim.

Metro has now become a potential option for Tim. She wants to start her trade. Harper warns her this could come with consequences. For her and Tim. To Lucy that’s worth it though. Tim blocked her making a sacrifice in 5x12. He is WORTH the risk of her ruffling some feathers to get him a better position. Never be over them consistently doing whatever for each other. Makes my soul happy.

So much to love about this next scene. I adore Lucy seizing the opportunity to solve Tim’s job problem with the group. They’re all gonna be at Nolan’s anyways... Might as well be one giant brain to save her man from his desk job. Super brains assemble and you know Nolan lol Their sticky note game is strong as they try to figure out an opening. Just as they crack it Tim shows up at the door.

John says his name loudly so they all hear him. Which causes them all to scramble to disassemble their brain storm session. So funny to watch them get the post it’s down as fast as they can. Then trying to get back to their seats as John does horribly at stalling Tim. I mean it's so horrible and awkward. Tim's face when Nolan is speaking is too funny. Wondering if he made a mistake in coming over here... LOL

I love him pointing out Lucy’s car and no one else’s. Could care less there are other cars out there. He points out his girl's car only and asks about it. This makes me giddy on so many levels. The minute he enters the room they could not be more obvious. The looks say everything. Also all these scenes just hit differently knowing they’re together. Makes me so happy. Look at Lucy above she couldn't be more obvious if she tried. You're a UC Lucy you can do better LMAO Being under pressure is the name of the name and you fall like a cheap house of cards here haha. It's too cute though especially with her little eyebrow pump.

Let’s not gloss over how delicious Tim looks in this scene. I always love me some street clothes Tim. But hot damn that tight t-shirt and those jeans. His hands in his pockets showing off those biceps.*fans self* Angela’s face when he talks to Lucy I’m dying. If she didn't know at this point she sure did now. Look at her in that first gif. So telling it's hysterical. Tim sensing something is off but he isn't sure why. Like did you think your man wouldn’t notice this?

So he zero's in on his girl and asks if she's ok? Not anyone else in the room just her. I LOVE how softly he asks if she’s ok? Looking right at her. Tim lights up when he speaks to her. Which gives me all the feels. His Lucy demeanor on full display in this scene. Seriously be more obvious you two. Lucy looking smug as hell and trying to keep it under wraps. Angela continues to crack me up with her expressions. Angela Lopez you are a treasure.

Lucy comes to Smitty he is the final piece in this 5 player trade of hers. They figured out how to get it done but he is sadly an essential piece. Lucy goes into this scene prepped and ready to go because well it's Lucy. This scene is hilarious because Smitty already knows the plan if Fuji retires. Flooring Lucy completely. I commend Melissa and her facial expression here it’s so funny. She gets Smitty to agree to help her in getting his friend to retire. He wants a favor though. Lucy immediately says 'Nothing weird.' LMFAO. Oh the things we do for love.

Tim eagerly comes to find Lucy end of shift. He’s so excited he’s going to come out of his skin. He heard about Lauren Fuji retiring. He's so excited as he explains this all to her. Look at that man. Bursting with joy to share this news with her. I love the pre-excitement on her face as he speaks. Saying she doesn't know how he keeps its all straight. Well played Lucy hehe

I adore him running to his person the moment he has news for her. Lucy is his safe place. One he goes to for all things good and bad. What I love most about this is Tim allowing himself to be this excited and keyed up around her. The man is glowing most of this conversation. Not holding back one emotion from her. Being as genuine as we’ve ever seen him. It does my heart good to watch him thrive in this relationship with her.

I’ll probably say this multiple times in this season. But this is what it looks like to be truly and unconditionally loved. The background this man came from, the relationships he had before her. It's hard to express emotions when they're always suppressed like his have been in the past. It's a joy to watch him like this. He's never experienced what he's had with her before. We’re watching this new Tim come out and it glorious to watch unfold. To see what it looks like when he properly loved on. To be put first and built up.

We watch as Tim tells her his tale. Explaining what all this means. Getting more excited by the minute. The way he leans into her as he tells her everything. Lucy pretending she doesn't know any of this. Playing dumb about it all and damn well at that. He has no idea. Lucy acting like this is all "new" to her. Tim getting all amped up letting her know there's an opening in Metro now. Well that there was.... Alluding to his reply down below.

What is getting her all smiley and excited is his excitement in this moment. It’s infectious and she is beaming with happiness for him. Knowing all the effort she put in was so worth it to get this reaction. She knew he would be a good fit and this proved it. He is BEAMING with excitement when he tells her he got the Metro Job. No one else he would rather share this with. This whole relationship is such a good look on him it’s insane.

Lucy's affectionate hit is everything. He loves it and is it's only adding to his already insane amount of excitement. All his other work achievements she had to regulate herself. Now she can fully be herself and be excited for him. Hence this cute reaction of hers. Loud and proud wifey right here. She is so damn excited and proud of him. No one has been a bigger cheerleader for this man than her. it’s only amplified now that they’re together.

Tim tells her he got a rock star review from Grey. Then we get some massive heart eyes from Lucy. Look at her above. If you wanted to see what being in love look it's her expression. What I love about this is Lucy getting to tell him he’s amazing. To his face. For years she’s told everyone around her about this amazing man. Gushed about him. This is the first we get to see her say it to his face. For him to hear her say it. Not only that but to hear it with so much love, pride, and affection in her voice. Love in her eyes for him. *squee* Building him up once again in a way only Lucy can. This is so precious I cannot.

Tim is feeding off her positivity and love. That nose crinkle might be the death of me. He’s SOOO amped and being this excited in front of his girl has me feeling things. He is so bright and happy it’s making me a puddle of giddy goo. Lucy brought this man back to life in so many ways. She is bringing out this new side of him and I’m so here for it. I’m so giddy for him and Lucy is feeding off it as well. I continually ask. Have we ever seen this man this excited? This happy?

We can thank that beautiful powerhouse standing in front of him. All he wants to do now is go out and celebrate with his girl. Which is massive growth btw. He’s not one to be excited outwardly about promotions or awards. But this is post-in love with Lucy Tim Bradford. He is bouncing off the walls he’s so excited. He gets to have his cake and eat it too. See his person every day and have a new exciting position. Love this first thought being he wants to celebrate with her. This man has changed and grown so much. It's glorious to behold. Truly.

Lucy wants to go out and celebrate with him so badly. If it was up to her they would leave that station right now and do that. Sadly her favor still needs to be cashed in…I love his little puppy face when she says she can't. He wasn't expecting to be spending tonight without her and it shows. All over his handsome face. You can see it's killing her to say no to him right now. But sadly Smitty and his favor can not wait. Even if she doesn't know what the hell it is yet LOL

I adore him immediately asking if she needs any help? I love this man so very much. Such a soft puppy for her. Only ever see him like this with her. He is thinking they may going out but least he can be with and help her with whatever this favor is. Ever the sweet supportive boyfriend and I love it sfm. Man really would do whatever for that woman in front of him. They could watch paint dry and Tim would be in cause he would be with her. Lucy tells him it’s something she has to do solo.

Lucy follows up she wants to celebrate him tomorrow. I love her saying celebrate 'You.' Not his job but to celebrate YOU. Look at this man above as she says this. He is legit basking in her praise, excitement, and love right now. What I really love is as she continues to congratulate him he leans closer to her. Looks like he wants to kiss her. Once again forgetting they’re in the bullpen. Their magnetic pull activating in the final moments of this scene.

Lucy saying her line above with so much love and affection. Her words having an effect on him. It shows in this next mini moment. We can see him grab her hands and pull her towards him gently in that second gif. The amount of squeeing I'm doing. Tim friggin Bradford grabbing for her girl. Pulling her closer at work out of instinct. In the bullpen of all places. Not caring they are in public. He is high off her excitement and this new job. Looks like he just wants to kiss her in this moment. Pick her up and spin her around he’s so happy.

She has to break the spell sadly. Remembering they are at work and she has to go do her favor.. but not before telling him 'Good job!' Look at this man's face as she departs. That’s a ‘I’m going to marry that woman someday.’ face. He is glowing with love and it makes me so happy to see him loved right. He is a different man since they got together. He is exuding so much love for her and pure joy. Just looking and being happier in general since 5x10.

Gah Eric killing me softly good sir. Happiness looks SOOO good on you my love. He’s earned every ounce of what he’s getting from Lucy. Just love this character so much. To finally see him be treated right getting me all in my feels. Best girlfriend ever and he has no idea what’s she done for him. She didn’t want credit. She just wanted him to be happy at work. Once again putting that beautiful man first.

I saw someone posted watching this scene was like ship crack cocaine lmao it’s so accurate I can’t haha. I’m getting high off their happiness in this scene. Tim is bouncing off the walls and Lucy is absorbing it all. The only payment she needed was knowing he was happy. Ugh they’re so cute I love it sfm. I’m so gone for these two. I haven’t loved a ship like this in a long time. I knew when I started this show they were going to be something special. Proven me right so many times over. This season truly is a gift.

We see what the favor is. Smitty wants her to deep clean his RV. Says he hasn’t in years. Telling Lucy since the Bush administration. Lucy’s eyes bulge out. Asking 'Which Bush?' LMFAO. She finds out she’s doing it solo. We then get this great shot of her in a hazmat suit. Chemicals and cleaning supplies at the ready. Knowing it won’t be great. Her ‘Oh dear god.’ Hahaha things we do for the ones we love. Her cleaning his nasty as RV so her man could be happy ❤️❤️

~~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

I love the Cold Open for this one. Daddy Cop is hilarious. If this didn’t get stuck in your head you're lying lmao

I loved Tim helping Celina out with her mom. Also what is about this man saying Spanish words with that inflection that gets me every time? Ovary explosion for me. When her says Celina’s mom’s birds names. Lorca and Neruda does it with inflection and I’m a damn puddle.

Also her asking if she single LMFAO He very is not Mrs. Juarez haha Also the way he says Juarez does thing to me lmao I have no shame in how i feel haha

[magiarec]

🆘🏠 WE NEED SAFE HOUSING.

We moved across Canada last year to escape severe medical abuse, but our living situation rapidly degraded. Our next door neighbour is a violent racist homophobe who has dedicated the last year of my life to harrassing us. More details will be under the cut. After months of searching we finally found a new apartment an hour away, and can have it any time in the next two weeks as long as we have the money. We do not have that much money. We can cover moving costs, the remainder of rent on our current place, and all our normal medical/etc bills. We've asked family for help and gotten a resounding "bootstraps" from them. Mutual aid is my only hope.

Our triad is LGBT (what, all at once? yes!), severely mentally ill, two of us are disabled, and one of us is latina. I'm currently still trapped waiting on a reply from immigration, legally can't work yet, and I don't feel safe doing sex work here when an arrest could mean deportation.

🌈 ♿ £0/2000

total cost: deposit (600), rent (1200), eating this month (200)

Here’s what we’ve been trying to get away from for a year. TW for racism, homophobia, slurs, child abuse, assault, graphic violent/sexual threats, sexual harrassment, fatphobia, the police having to get involved, and anything else that I can add if you need. I’m going to list these in the order they happened.

• Tried to break into our house during a four hour long extended breakdown. Hammered on the door til it dented. Threatened all of our lives multiple times. This went on until 2am. First police report.

• Spent a week hammering on our door or window and screaming “WAKE UP” at any time between 4-6am if she heard us using the kitchen the night before.

• Followed me up and down the road when I ran errands calling me a disgusting pig, the d slur, and a pedophile. Followed all of us down the road more than once screaming at us for being worthless [d slur]s while she was a mother.

• Told her children I was a pedophile, and that I might kidnap them one day. Loudly. In front of their friends. Described in graphic detail what she assumed I would do to them if I did.

• Waited on our doorstep for me and pulled out a fistful of my hair when I tried to push past her to get inside. I have not left the house alone since. Second police report.

• Multiple months of her waiting until after midnight to begin blasting religious sermons or the same fucking eminem song six times through our conjoining walls.

• Began weighing our fire escape grates down while screaming at us that she’d burn us alive to ready us for hell.

• Waited until I was home alone and then came up to the door and began calmly telling me that she’d, quote, “cut my clit off” before offering to bring her guy friends over to rape me straight.

• Taped naked photos of herself to our bedroom window.

• Brought a fucking ant infestation into the basement apartments we split and tried to punch me in the face when I told the inspector we’d been putting down traps and all of the bugs came from her side of the building.

• Chased my husband down the side of our house, spat on his face, and tried (almost succeeded before we both tackled it shut) to kick the door open. Third police report that they actually bothered to come out for, and the first one where the officer who arrived took the genuine threats and physical assault seriously.

It’s going on trial tomorrow. Our landlord has had months to evict her for the assults, or not paying rent, or the harrassment, or the way she keeps threatening to shoot his family and calling them the N word. He has told her instead that we’re “probably” moving out soon for the past year and she insists she’s staying until that point - a thing we found out this week when confronting him about her still being here. We also found out that his plan to rent us her bigger unit is contingent on us furnishing it and leaving it for two months when his family comes to stay for a wedding in August.

We also also found out that when the baliffs said they can’t evict her until he does [basic legal step that she could contest] [... that he could have done last year] he decided it wasn’t worth it. So he’s going to illegally evict her. By waiting u til she leaves next week, unlocking her unit, loading her belongings into a van, changing the locks, and installing a gate. His plan is to have her arrested for tresspassing when she tries to come back to her house.

This is insane. It is not legal, it’s deeply unethical even if I hate her ass, and there is no way in hell that she will not just blame us for it when it happens. My husband leaves for work at 4am. She knows this. I am dead fucking certain she will attack him or us before the week is out if we remain here. I am terrified and traumatized and need your help. Please, please help.

[11queensupreme11]

Because the idea of Anthonius and Percy living as a family and raising the yander children sounds cute and I liked it I come up with an idea. Suppose the yanderes appear in front of their children and introduce themselves as their biological father.

(The boy is alone at home as Percy and Anthonius are either working or busy doing something else. He is left alone and they appear).

The son's reaction is not surprise or strong emotion instead it is ...boredom after hearing those words the son responds with this:

"Yes, and even if he is not my biological father, for me he will still be my biological father regardless of the fact that we don't share blood ties. You, on the other hand," he says, - pointing her finger at him- "are just the sperm donor, nothing more".

// (The son's voice when he speaks of Antonio shows great pride and admiration in stark contrast to the way he speaks casually with his biological father).

How they would take the comment given by their children. (Although to be honest I don't think their reactions would be positive at all).

THEY ARE DEFINITELY NOT HAPPY ANON OH GOD

poseidon is so pissed he might actually strike the kid down (but not kill him). how dare he call some inferior half-breed his father and prefer him over his real one? brainwashing. that has to be it. anthonius has brainwashed his son and percy against him. he will punish him and make sure to set percy and his son straight

loki would be so angry he'd think about killing his son... but that's not nice, so he won't do it 💖 instead, he'd smile creepily and knock him out. when the poor boy wakes up, the first thing he'll see is percy crying over anthonius' mutilated body while loki laughs at her agony

at this point, after killing anthonius, beelzebub's taking both his son and percy back to their universe and keeping them in helheim. he'd force-feed them water from the river lethe to erase their memories. he doesn't mind starting over

apollo would be absolutely heartbroken 💔 he'd try to tell the kid that he never abandoned them, they were taken from him and it was all anthonius' fault! but his son knows the truth, knows that apollo was crazy and his mom suffered under his love. apollo, in desperation, would convince himself that anthonius had brainwashed percy and his son into turning against him and that he, as their husband and father, needed to save them from him!

hades is also heartbroken 💔💔 but he tries to stay calm. but the kid pretty much just sealed anthonius' fate. hades wasn't planning on hurting anthonius until he heard the amount of love in his son's voice when he talked about him. he's genuinely hurt by it, especially if the kid calls him out on his obsessiveness over his mom and how it drove her away. he'll curse anthonius and leave him to suffer while taking percy and his son back home.

[gabessquishytum]

a thought (and i had a dark!dream version of this that seems to have slipped my mind but i can try to remember it if youd like); trans hob, as a (mortal) human, falls in love with morpheus, who is not human (vampire). after they've been together for a while and married and happy, hob is delighted to discover he's pregnant; he loves the idea of expanding their family and is so excited to tell dream the good news. except dream isn't human, and he has to reveal to hob that the pregnancy is not only very rare, but very dangerous, and there is such a small chance hob would make it through that morpheus, the ever miserable bastard, practically spends the entire pregnancy mourning hob even though he is very much so alive.

near the end morpheus is getting more and more anxious and keeps finding excuses to leave hob so that he doesn't have to confront his fears of losing him. he leaves home one night telling hob he'll search for an apothecary and medicines to see if there is anything that could help the situation that they haven't already thought of, but hob goes into labor when dream is gone. morpheus does not react well to coming home to his lovely husband 1. no longer pregnant, and 2. very bloody and very Unwell. of course it takes some shushing from hob, reminding morpheus that death isn't anywhere near enough to separate them, actually, for morpheus to get his act together, but it works! and oh, would you look at that, there's a baby, too. guess they should do something about that

(and if hob asks morpheus to turn him afterwards so that he might actually get a chance at seeing their child grow up past middle age, well. its hardly like he'd say no)

Omg yes please. I feel like we can make a much better version of Twilight with these ideas. I love the kinda comedic potential of this also??

Dream: this year i lost my dear husband hob

Hob, very much alive, pregnant and annoyed: quit telling everyone i'm dead!!

Dream: sometimes i can still hear his voice...

Obviously Hob is very aware and accepting of Dream’s concerns, and he tries to be as gentle and considerate of his feelings as he can. But. He is still alive, and feeling pretty good actually. The baby doesn't seem to be doing any harm, and he's just trying to enjoy his pregnancy you know???

It's very unfortunate that his labour comes on when Dream is gone. Hob is very resourceful, though, and he does the best he can in the situation. After much pushing and screaming and other unpleasant things, he delivers the baby, cuts the chord and lies down on the floor with the baby cradled at his chest. Dream comes back to what looks like a crime scene, and is genuinely shocked to find his beloved husband alive!

Dream cleans up the blood (mostly with his mouth. he can't help it), carries Hob off to a more comfortable place and makes sure that the baby is safe - they've already had their first feed from Hob and are now content to snooze for a while. Dream is practically weeping over Hob, apologising for leaving him, for being such a ridiculous and terrible husband while Hob was carrying their child! Of course Hob forgives him but he does have a condition: he wants to be turned. The dramatic labour has given him an idea of just how terrible death would be, and he wants to stay with Dream forever.

Dream is relieved. He doesn't want to leave Hob ever again. Or their baby, who is the most perfect little darling, totally unaware of all the drama they caused by being born. Dream also promises that if by chance Hob is able to become pregnant again, he won't be quite so emo about it. Perhaps. He'll try his best, anyway.

(Meanwhile Hob is honestly just trying to process that fact that Dream licked him clean. And he was into it. And now he's wondering what kind of vampire shenanigans they might be able to get up to...)

[creelkobblelaufeyson69]

The neighbor

Warnings: none

They have been nervous to meet their neighbors, because one of the neighbors was The Doctor. They were very into Gallifreyan History, so they knew everything about the Time War. They also knew how lonely he was as well, but it seemed like he had a family now

The two would occasionally smile at each other as well, but it seemed like they needed to be the to actually be the one to start the conversation. They didn’t know exactly how they would, but they were determined to do so

Donna was currently sitting on the couch, and the Doctor sat next to her. She has noticed how he seemed quite intrigued by his neighbor. She also thinks that he might have a bit of a crush

“You should go and introduce yourself to our neighbor. They seem friendly” Donna says, which makes him look at her. He had thought about it, but he has seen a necklace they’ve worn that had intrigued him. The necklace had their name written in Gallifreyan

He knew they weren’t a time lord, so he was curious to know why a normal human knew what it was to begin with. He definitely had a crush on them too, because they knew about all that stuff and he thought they were cute. “Oh, I don’t know Donna. What if I mess up?” He asked her genuinely

She seemed shocked, since he didn’t seem so shy when it came to romance. But then again, she hasn’t seen how this version of the time lord she met a while ago, would deal with romantic feelings. “I knew it!” She says with a big smile now. He’s blushing now; “I mean what do I even say to them?” Donna continues to smile, and then asked him if the two had similar interests to start the conversation

He brought up the necklace he saw them wearing that was written in his home language. She smiles; “bring that up. They would be thrilled to meet a real time lord! Also please ask what their pronouns are. I don’t want to be disrespectful” she adds, which makes him nod his head

While that conversation is happening, they are making cookies. They decided to go with chocolate chip cookies, since they knew a lot of the time lords weren’t allergic to nuts. But they just hoped they don’t say anything stupid to make a complete fool out of themselves

He was very attractive to them as well, and so that didn’t help their nerves at all. But baking did calm their nerves down, so they were decidedly more focused on that right now than what to say to a time lord. Once the cookies were done, they set them on the counter to cool off before they went next door

They go into their living room, and then started to ponder what they’ll say to the alien. While pondering, someone knocked on their door. The Doctor had stood outside with a flower he had picked from the garden he had been working on. He felt nervous, but then reminded himself to just act calm

They answered the door, and were shocked to see who it was. They smiled; “hello, Doctor.” He smiles too, and said hello with their name afterward. “Oh, you’ve read my necklace” they said with a blush on their face. They also blushed because of the flower

“I did. Where’d you get it?” He asked out of curiosity. “How about you come inside, and I’ll tell you” they suggested. “I’d love to come inside” he admits as he could tell Donna was watching in the distance to see if he actually was able to get inside. They moved to the side to let him in, which makes Donna in the distances be extremely happy for her friend

“Oh my god. He’s done it Shaun!” She tells her husband who’s checking up on her. “About time” he says. Back at their house, they sat on their couch with him sitting next to them. “I made the necklace” they said, which makes him impressed. They blushed again. “I could make you something” they admitted

“Like how you’ve made those cookies I smell?” He asked. “Oh yeah! Shit! I almost forgot about those” they get up and go get the cookies. They come back with the tray, which makes him smile. “This flower is for you by the way. I don’t know which one is your favorite, so sorry if it’s not” he hands them the flower once they placed the tray down onto the coffee table

“Oh no, it’s fine. Thanks” they take the flower, and then placed it into their hair. He blushes like crazy now, and they noticed. He picks up a cookie, and then takes a bite out of it. He closes his eyes as he takes in the flavor. He then opens his eyes as a smile forms on his face

“Those were the best cookies I’ve ever eaten” he admits, which makes them blush. “Like in the whole universe?” He nods his head as their blush becomes obvious now. “You know, I’m going to have to take you on a date now. Wherever in time you would like to go” he says, which got them excited. “I’d love too!”

[toomuchracket]

girlie worries that she’s not fitting in with the other mums at school because she’s such a career girlie and doesn’t have time to be at the coffee mornings and stuff. She cries to Matty about how she doesn’t think she’s a good mum and he’s having none of it. He suggests inviting some mums and kids round for dinner. And he is just the dilfiest, best host, gorgeous husband ever. Idk which universe but maybe D Word bc Matty being about 10 years older than all the other adults is appealing lol

aww :(( bless you, honestly. like you're there in the playground when you drop your kids off at school/nursery (for the purposes of this ask lyla is in her first year at primary school and alex is at the nursery attached) and when you pick them up. and you and matty try to go to as many of the little events as you can, but it's hard if he's away and you're busy at the office; there's one instance where you really can't take a morning off for a charity coffee morning at the end of the financial year, so you drop lyla off with a donation and some cookies you made together. when you pick her up, though, you feel awful - you were the only mum out of her little friend group that wasn't there that morning. nobody says anything bad at all; lyla was just happy to be eating cakes with her friends lol, and all the other mums are very lovely and understanding and like "you missed a good morning, but it's really no big deal, don't worry!", like genuinely so sweet, but you really worry that you're not fitting in with them properly and how that might affect lyla, and that you're a terrible mum missing out on these moments with your kids because you were at work.

matty gets home from being away recording that night and immediately knows something's up with you, but he doesn't ask what until you've put the kids to bed and started getting ready for your own. he's so tender with you that you just start crying about how guilty you feel about missing the coffee morning, because you think you upset lyla by not being there, and that you feel like a bad mum for missing these moments; matty takes your face in his hands and wipes your tears with his thumbs like "hey, hey, stop, sweetheart, literally none of that is true. firstly, we honestly can't beat ourselves up about missing little things like that - sometimes it's unavoidable, and we make up for it by doing what we can when we can. and our baby wasn't upset in the slightest, really - she listed in detail to me every cake and biscuit she ate, trust me, she had a fucking great day", which makes you laugh a little bit. matty smiles and kisses your head before he says "and as for you thinking you're a bad mum? that's the biggest load of rubbish i've ever heard in my life - you're the best mum in the world, babe. our babies are happy, healthy, loved, loving, caring, intelligent little people, and you're responsible for a massive part of their development into all that - and, of course, responsible for how fucking cute they are. i'm calling dibs on developing their senses of humour, though", and laughs when you wince at the last bit; he softens and says "there's nobody else i'd rather do any of this with, and i am so grateful to you for all of it. it's a joy and a privilege to get to watch you parent, and to do it with you. i love you, sweetheart, i really do. and our kids". you kiss for a little bit and tell him you love him too, before going to bed. when you're lying there spooning, matty's like "i think we should invite some of the other families round, yeah? have a barbecue or something, maybe stop us feeling a bit out of the loop". you agree, and the next morning you send out a text to the families of a few of lyla and alex's friends, who all live like 3 streets away maximum, asking them to come over next saturday.

and it's a perfect day - matty's in his element, being all social and sweet and sexy in his glasto outfit (but slightly more buttoned lol), making sure everyone has enough food and full glasses and the kids are having fun. your babies are running riot with their friends in the sunshine, playing tag and football and whatever else takes their fancy, and you spend the day half swooning over your actual dilf of a husband and half chatting to the other parents and really getting to know them. you're honest about your feelings of guilt, and you're so surprised when literally everyone else is like "we feel the same about our kids and ourselves!" - you feel a lot better, so matty does too, and you all make a little pact to support each other's kids at the events you can go to, to ensure they're all happy even if their parents aren't there. and it's also nice to hear people, after they see matty kiss your head and see you both with your kids, tell you "the way you two are so obviously in love is adorable. beautiful couple, beautiful family. and you're all so chill! it's great"; matty just smirks and pulls you into his side like "thanks, it's all down to my wife. she keeps us all together, she's just the best" ("and the milfiest", he whispers in your ear to make you laugh) <3

[iam93percentstardust]

I saw your bridgerton au idea with Tony and Steve as Daphne and Simon and thought it was brilliant. But, have you ever considered the angst potential with Steve, tony, and Bucky as John Stirling, Francesca, and Michael Stirling???

Oh my god but that's so saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad 🥺

In all honesty, it's probably not something I would ever actually put to paper simply because I don't usually enjoy breaking up a couple in a fic that I genuinely like and ship to replace it with a different ship (I think the pop star Tony verse is the only one I've ever done that on), but it's fun to imagine!

I'm assuming you listed the characters with their counterparts in respective order, but I could see it either way tbh! But! If I was writing Steve as John and Bucky as Michael hmmm... I think it'd start like this:

Steve and Tony would have met at Lady Danbury's ball (or the equivalent of Lady Danbury in this verse). Tony has 0 interest in falling in love, all he wants is to tinker, but he does want to do his duty by his family and marry during his first season, especially with his older sister, Kate, now in her second season and not showing any signs of finding an alpha. Unfortunately, he overhears an alpha during the ball discussing steam locomotives and just being Absolutely Wrong about them, so he steps in and schools the entire group of alphas on how trains actually work. They are not impressed, Tony abruptly realizes that he's scared off a whole slew of potential suitors, and flees outside where Steve finds him and tells him that he'd thought Tony's lecture both informative and enormously entertaining.

Tony might have had 0 interest in falling in love, but he knows enough to recognize it when he sees it, and he falls hard for Steve. They're married at the end of the season and have just arrived at Steve's home in the countryside--complete with a newly built forge for Tony--when they receive a missive from Steve's adoptive brother, Bucky.

Bucky would be a military officer, who'd just been discharged after losing his arm. Steve immediately opens his home up to him, forgetting to check with Tony that it's alright (fortunately, it is). Bucky arrives in the middle of the night, happens to meet Tony, who can't sleep, and falls head over heels for the sleepy omega muttering equations to himself. He's just getting ready to flirt with Tony, assuming that he's a servant, but Steve comes downstairs to collect his wayward husband, and Bucky has a moment of "of course he's Steve's."

Several years pass, and Bucky ends up staying at the estate instead of finding a home in London. But there's a fire in the nearby village. Both Bucky and Steve go to help; only Bucky makes it out alive. Steve is killed trying to rescue one of the villagers when the house collapses.

Tony is devastated. Bucky is too, and in his grief (and no small part of guilt for being happy that Tony is no longer wed), he flees to the continent for the greater part of the next five years. He returns eventually because Tony has been doing an excellent job of taking care of the earldom in his absence, but he's not actually the earl and there are things that Bucky needs to take care of. He's dismayed to find that he still has feelings for Tony, but he's even more dismayed to learn that Tony has decided to find another alpha now that so many years have passed since Steve's death.

But if Tony is ready to find love again, then why not Bucky?