#genuinely im gonna cry in the bathroom at some point in the course of the next few hours | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

laylaisthename · 2 years ago

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you know im down bad when im actually posting my fics on tumblr.

Lincoln McQuoid/M!MC || SFW || 3900 words :pensive: ||

Fic about two guys with terrible birthday experiences that are trying to do better. Set in a theoretical time after everything's been resolved. Timeline doesnt exactly match up since we're probably like a week away in game from Linc’s birthday but uuuh just pretend ok.

tw; mentions of under (american) age drinking (idk im european and he's 18 so its fine to me)

"Lincooooln." Horus calls lazily from the couch.

"What?"

"You know what day it is?"

Lincoln pads into the living room, his eyes narrowing at Horus. "The day the Elric brothers set their house on fire?"

Horus snorts, "Of course you would say that you weeb. Aaaand...what else is today?"

Lincoln sighs. "Who told you?"

"I'll let you take one guess at who'd be texting me about your well-being."

He buries his face in his hands and lets out another deep, soul-weary sigh.

"Abel says to tell you 'happy birthday' and to make sure that, quote 'he doesn't spend the whole day moping around his apartment alone watching daytime tv and getting drunk.' unquote. Ouch. You really spend your birthdays like that?"

There's a thoughtful frown on Lincoln's face, a look that Horus knows a little too well by now. He opens his arms invitingly, and a small smile plays on Lincoln's lips as he moves to join him on the couch, resting against his chest.

"Bad birthday memories?" Horus asks.

"Melancholic ones. I told you what happened on my seventh birthday. My mom still tried after that but it just... hasn't been the same since. And then I lost touch with Abel, and she..." his words trail off.

Horus' voice is quiet when he responds. "I know. I'm sorry."

Unsure of what else to say he simply wraps Lincoln in his arms. Instinctively Horus' eyes flicker to the empty spot on the wall where Silvia's portrait used to hang, a pang of guilt lancing through his heart. He must have apologized a thousand and one times already, but it still never felt like enough. Sometimes he catches Linc glancing over too, expecting it to still be there- for her to still be there.

His thumb subconsciously moves to twist at his mother's ring. It was a feeling he knew well.

"Okay I'm gonna be real depressing here," he starts, "but stay with me on this. Every year on my birthday my dad used to take us to this nice Egyptian restaurant. I'd get baklava and chocolate cake and some damn good chicken and then we'd go home and watch any movie of my choice, so we'd usually end up watching A New Hope again."

"And you're calling me a weeb? Nerd."

"Shut up, I'm being genuine here for once in my fucking life. Anyway. Point is. We'd get dinner, watch a movie together, I got some gifts, and it was the best day I could wish for. Then after... everything happened, Amalia and her parents took me out somewhere." He takes a moment to gather himself. Talking about the past five years was still hard at times, actually telling the truth of his hurt rather than lie and say he was fine. "I spent my eighteenth birthday crying my eyes out on the floor of a restaurant bathroom. Told Lia I got food poisoning, but I knew she didn't buy it. Next birthday was barely any better. Amalia was off to college by then, so me and my new best friend 'Fake ID' hit up every bar in town for a free drink for the birthday boy. I vaguely remember making out with some hot girl in a bathroom stall, but mostly I just remember feeling incredibly alone. And, well, nauseous."

"Is this story going anywhere or are you rambling?"

"Right. I'm trying to be profound. Well, tl;dr, birthdays sucked. At 20 I ignored my birthday and 21 I got shitfaced again, but this time legally. Then this year I happened to find myself in the area after a hunt. So I walked into that Egyptian restaurant, I got myself dinner and some baklava, found the nearest movie theater and watched, uh," he falls quiet for a moment, thinking hard, "I don't remember the movie's name, it was pretty forgettable I'll be honest. But it was the best day I'd had in longer than I'd like to admit. Whenever I closed my eyes I could almost feel my family sitting next to me. My dad's lame jokes, my mom's laughter. Annie stealing food off my plate when she thought I wasn't looking..." Horus is quiet for a moment. "Sorry, I'm making it about me again."

Lincoln turns over in his arms to face him. "It's alright. Honor their memory instead of burying it deep, right?"

"Yeah. But, if you do wanne just laze around all day and watch shitty movies I'm down for that too." he tightens his arms around him a little.

Lincoln hums, lying his head back down on Horus' chest, and he wonders if Lincoln could hear how his heart raced. Neither of them would spend another birthday alone if he had any say in it. They lay there a little while longer in comforting quiet.

Lincoln rouses after a while, quieting Horus' whine with an achingly sweet kiss as he heaves himself off the couch. "I think I know what I want to do today."

***

Their first stop was Westchester Elementary. Lincoln hadn't told Horus what exactly they'd be up to, wanting it to be a surprise. It was a warm autumn day, the warmth of summer not quite gone yet.

The sounds of children playing outside accompanied by a quiet ambiance of rustling leaves and birds' song. It was strange how nice Westchester could be when horrible men and creatures weren't actively terrorizing it.

"So, this is where baby Linc took his first steps into becoming a menace to society?"

He rolls his eyes, but smiles regardless, "You know Russ, I don't actually know much about what you were like as a kid."

"Me? A model student once they got me to stop cutting up my clothes."

"That's what I thought." he holds out his hand, and by now it's second nature for Horus to grasp it as they walk along. Lincoln leads them to the side of the building, stopping before they round the corner.

"Close your eyes for me?"

For me.

The gentleness in Linc's voice over shadows any dirty jokes in Horus' mind. He simply smiles, "Alright." letting Lincoln lead him a little further away with his eyes closed.

He stops Horus, grabbing him by the shoulders and turning him around.

"Okay, now, open your eyes."

So he does. And before him, Horus sees something that was-

A stunningly painted mural adorned the old plaster, a deep indigo blue of a night sky, swirling into the yellows and pinks of dawn. Against that backdrop was the silhouette of a woman, leading a chain of children of different ages toward the light of a new day under a bright shining star. More stars dotted the dark sky, painted in such a way that they almost seem to shimmer in the sunlight. Among them Horus managed to recognize a few constellations; the Scales of Libra, Aries the Ram, the Eagle Aquila, the Archer Orion-

His eyes flit to Lincoln, who in turn is watching him with searching eyes and a kind smile.

"It's gorgeous." Horus says after another breath. It was hard to put into words, but it felt as if a hopeful wish had been put into every brushstroke.

Having apparently found what he was looking for, Lincoln turns to the mural. "My mother painted this. She told me she started the first draft a few weeks after she found out she was pregnant. The actual mural didn't go up until I enrolled here, and I got special permission to 'help' her out during recess."

They walk up close, where painted in white, surprisingly neat, yet childish letters;

LINCOLN &

and then in a beautiful curling script;

Silvia McQuoid

Lincoln traces his fingers along the letters, closing his eyes, a smile painting his lips.

"There's more murals like these all around town. She'd always say this was her way of giving back a little kindness into the world. Something to inspire people." his eyes open again, looking up at the silhouette. "A couple were painted before I was born, but I loved coming along whenever I could. She always insisted that even if I just painted a single line, that I'd put my name up next to hers."

"She sounds awesome, wish I could have met her."

"She would have loved you, I'm sure of it."

Horus laughs, "Ha! You're just saying that because I'm your boyfriend."

Lincoln bumps his shoulder, "I mean it, Russ. Someone so full of life like you? She'd be making wedding plans after our first date."

Horus was not a shy or bashful man by a long shot, so the blush creeping up to his ears and the sudden stutter in his throat caught him off guard. His eyes flick over to Lincoln, who also seems to realize what he'd said with a start. He didn't want to read into it too much, his racing mind already looking for a way to change the topic, but a small voice in the back of his head tells him that if Lincoln had asked him right here, right now, that he would not mind at all. But then a suitable deflection comes to mind, blurted out a little too tense, a little too fast.

"I already promised to take you out for dinner today, no need to butter me up."

"Maybe I'm hoping to get free dessert too."

"I dunno, you find me a dark and quiet corner and I can get right on that if you're so impatient."

"At an elementary school? Really?"

"Ah, you're right. So are we going to your highschool next? Behind the bleachers maybe."

Lincoln laughs again, "Speaking of dinner, there's a few more murals I wanted to show you. Come on." Linc turns to head back to the motorcycle.

It was like a light bulb flickering to life over Horus' head as he realized exactly what he would get Lincoln for his birthday. He pulls out his phone, sending out a dozen texts as they walk, nearly missing the helmet Linc tosses him.

The last message is off and confirmed by the time they reach the second mural, and hours blur by as they ride all over Westchester. Every painting is somehow more gorgeous than the last, accompanied by anecdotes from Lincoln about inspirations, color choices, meanings. It was something incredibly dear to his heart, anyone could tell.

Horus steps up close to Lincoln, leaving a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Sharing this with me. But," he reaches his hand into Linc's back pocket, pulling out the motor keys, "I have a surprise for you too."

Lincoln raises a brow, but doesn't make to grab for the keys. "Where are we going exactly?"

"Ah-ah, wouldn't be a surprise anymore if I told you. But it's close by, I promise."

***

It's a short drive over. Horus parks the motor out on the side of the road, walking ahead down an alleyway to the back.

And as his friends had promised, strewn around a blank wall was everything needed to paint a mural of their own.

Brushes in all sizes, a dozen different colors of paint, lights that illuminated a smooth, blank canvas waiting to be filled. Off to the side lay a cooler filled with drinks, and a bag full of takeout food.

"But how…?"

Horus counts it off on his fingers, "Had Connor call in some favors at city hall for the permit, Lia brought the food, Joss got us drinks, Dee and Noah took care of the supplies, aaand," Horus lets out a sharp whistle, and Abel appears from around the corner carrying a cake, followed by the rest of their merry little gang. A chorus of "Happy birthday, Lincoln." rises from the group. Joss rolls her eyes.

"I'm just here for the cake." she nods her head toward Abel.

Linc's eyes grow wide."Is that…?"

"My mom's recipe? Yeah, I promised, didn't I?"

Horus pulls a lighter from his pocket, lighting the candles.

"Happy birthday to you." Abel starts, and Horus, Amalia, Connor and Dee are quick to join in, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Lincoln, happy birthday to youuu."

The look in Lincoln's eyes is part horrified, part touched and wholly embarrassed as the song comes to an end.

"C'mon make a wish."

Lincoln walks up and thinks for a moment, and if Horus wasn't head over heels before, then the way that the candlelight flickered in Linc's eyes surely would have done the trick now. The moment passes as he closes his eyes, blowing out the candles in one big breath.

"Let's see if this cake lives up to the hype." Noah walks up, knife in hand, offering it to Lincoln to cut the first piece.

Abel looks offended, "You doubt my baking skills?"

"Cut him some slack," Connor says, "being a ghost for a few years made him forget his manners."

Noah just shrugs, taking back the knife to cut up pieces for the rest as Lincoln takes the first one.

The silence is broken by an incredibly inappropriate moan from Lincoln that almost sets something off in Horus. But that would have to wait until he had him all to himself.

"Just as good as you remember?" Abel says, unable to keep a large, goofy grin off his face.

"Better somehow." he takes another large bite.

Horus is handed a piece next and wastes no time shoving a large piece into his mouth. "Oh shit, this is good." Agreements ring out as everyone digs in. Their impromptu party is however quite short lived.

"As much as I wish I could stay," Abel says, "I was in the middle of grading papers that I really need to finish by tomorrow."

Amalia pipes up, "I should go too, I got a long drive ahead to get back in time for my lectures tomorrow if I want to get any sleep. Cake was totally worth it, though."

Connor walks up to Dee and Noah, slinging his arms around their shoulders. "The three of us promised Harper we'd stop by tonight to check something out, so we should get going too."

Jocelyn grabs another bite off the last slice of cake. "And I'm not hanging around to play third wheel to these two, so bye."

Horus waves her off. "Good night, Joss."

"Night, Red. Keep the old man’s spine intact.”

“Old man? I’m not even 30 yet.” Lincoln replies.

“I make no promises about his ability to walk tomorrow.”

Jocelyn grins, “Nice.” and heads off.

Abel hangs back for a moment, watching the others leave. He walks over to Lincoln, whose eyes still betray his feelings of guilt. Apologies were exchanged a while ago, but Horus could tell that Lincoln still had a hard time letting go of the hurt he caused.

"Abel, I-" but his words are cut off as Abel envelopes him in a hug. Lincoln hesitates for a moment, before hugging him back.

Abel lets him go, a kind smile on his face. "Happy birthday, old friend." he turns to Horus, giving him a nod, and Horus nods back.

And just like that it was only the two of them left again. Horus polishes the last crumbs off his plate, quietly thanking Abel and his mother for what was maybe the best cake he'd had, ever.

Lincoln walks up and hugs him tightly, burying his face in Russ' neck. And now it was Horus' turn to stand there for a moment, unsure of what to do, before he returns the gesture.

"Thank you," the words are a quiet murmur against the crook of his shoulder. "Thank you."

"I'm glad you like it."

"No, I liked spending the day with you. You doing this for me? I love it. I-" he hesitates on the word. Lincoln pulls back a bit, cupping Russ' face in his hands. "It means a lot to me. I just don't know what to paint."

He pulls him in for a kiss, short and sweet. But being pressed up against Lincoln's back all day on the motorcycle has left Horus with a desire for something more than that. He walks Lincoln backwards until his back hits the empty plaster wall, nearly tripping over a bucket of paint in his haste. He opens his mouth, and it was delicious, both of them still tasting of whipped cream and cake.

Lincoln flips them, so Russ' back is now to the wall and pulls back. A groan escapes him as he leans forward after Lincoln,

"Don't move." he places another kiss along his jaw.

"Hm?"

"I just figured out what I want to paint."

Horus stood there, chest heaving, pupils blown wide. "You're just going to leave me like this?"

He laughs, a bright and joyful sound, "I didn't exactly bring lube along."

"I'll run to the corner store and make the most suspicious purchase of my fucking life, I'll even throw in some roses, don't test me."

Lincoln comes back with a bucket of paint and brush in hand. "You can do whatever you want to me back at my apartment. Just keep still."

He opens the can, a deep blue, and gets to work tracing an outline around Horus, lingering around his hands, leaving kisses as he goes along. Up his arm, over his shoulder, a kiss under his ear.

"You're making it very hard to stand still, you know."

"Better keep at it. Don't want to get paint in your hair- hold out your hand a little."

Horus does as asked, moving as little as possible, as Lincoln traces the paint over his head and down his right side.

Lincoln steps back, admiring his handiwork- or maybe admiring Horus. With the way his eyes darted around it was hard to tell. He turns, reaching for a new brush and another can of bright red paint. It doesn't escape Russ that it's the same shade as the color of his hair. Lincoln holds them out for him to take.

Horus shakes his head "I'm not much of an artist."

"Just the rough outline, I'll take care of the details." Lincoln stands with his back against the wall, hand overlapping with the silhouette of Horus beside him.

"Alright, fine. For the birthday boy."

Horus then realized that he probably had not held a paintbrush in his hands in a decade, if not more. He wasn't nervous per se, but still very cautiously went to work, part of him afraid to mess it all up. He kneels down to get started by Lincoln's legs. The red paint stands in stark contrast against the gray wall, overflow dripping down, and suddenly Horus freezes.

His hands shake, breath catching in his throat, whole body tense and ready to spring. Blood dripping down the brush, out of a creature's mouth, covering his hands his eyes seeping into his chest the ground thick in the air-

A hand clamps on his arm and distantly his name reaches his ears -"Russ!"- his father telling him to run, Annie calling after him- he tries to pull away, hand balling into a fist so tight that his knuckles ran white, nails digging into his palm, fight or flight instincts setting in and he was afraid and wanted to, no had to fight there was no one else left-

"Horus!" Lincoln's hands frame his face, forcing him to look into his eyes.

"I'm-" the word comes out as a ragged breath. Adrenaline ebbs out, his heart still racing at a thousand miles a minute, but he was back in the here and now at least. Realizing what had just happened, Horus slaps on his trademark grin, the gesture not quite reaching his eyes. "I'll get lost in your eyes like this."

"You're shaking."

His hands still tremble a bit as he pries himself loose, "Low blood sugar, you know how it is. Maybe we should eat some of the take-out before it goes completely cold." he drops the brush back into the bucket, avoiding looking at it too closely.

"Horus-"

"There's one with chicken and one with beef, which do you want?"

Lincoln wraps himself around him from behind, plucking the beef noodles from the bag. "Talk to me, Russ. You were gone for a moment there."

Horus hops up onto a crate, opening his food up, his voice quiet, but finding its confidence as he talks. "Ugh. It doesn't usually happen, red is my favorite color, and I've seen worse whenever I need to dye my hair again- seriously makes my bathroom look like someone died there." he lets out a breath, combing his fingers through his hair, "but, I guess the paint just… took me off guard. I'll be fine after I eat something."

Lincoln sits next to him, frowning,

"I should have realized-"

"Don't. Don't start pitying me or, fuckin' saying its your fault. We were just making such good progress in getting you to stop blaming everything on yourself-"

"That's not true," Linc says matter-of-fact, "I blame plenty on Matthias."

Horus laughs. "True. But, yeah. I don't want my little episode to ruin this. I won't let it." He nods over, gesturing for Lincoln to go stand at the wall once they're done eating.

His hand still shakes a little as he traces the outline around him, but everything was further from Horus' mind now. Focus on the motions, focus on his warmth, his voice-

"Look at that. You're a natural." Lincoln says as he draws the final line, vaguely linking the hands of the silhouettes together.

"Are you gonna start pulling out gold stars next, or what?" He grabs himself a soda from the cooler, and a beer for Lincoln,

"Is that something I'll need to keep in mind?"

"Everyone likes being told they're doing a good job, no? Don't worry about the drinking by the way, I'll drive us back."

"Sure, but if I start lamenting about Naruto, cut me off."

"No, please tell me more about how Naruto and that black haired guy were totally in love."

"Oh, like you're any better about your space movies."

"I just have a lot of feelings about the Clones, okay!"

Conversation flows and time flies as Horus watches Lincoln get to work. It was mesmerizing to see how the piece came together, stroke by stroke; two silhouettes, hand in hand with a ribbon tying their hands together. Horus' figure set in a royal blue, Lincoln framed by an explosive red, the tie that binds them red on one side, blue on the other. The message rang clear; I’m a part of you, you’re a part of me.

"Now all that's left," Lincoln cracks open a black can of paint, dipping in a smaller brush. "is signing it."

He signs his name in beautiful curling letters;

Lincoln &

Before holding out the brush to Horus, who glady, if a bit messily, adds his name underneath;

Horus Asar

#ilw #it lives within #its MY blog and i get to be cringe #lincoln mcquoid #fic for once not art #back to my natural habitat (making up little scenes in my head)#no clue what etiquette is on tumblr for posting fics i never do it #that shit either goes on ao3 or forever lives in my google drive

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safetycar-restart · 2 years ago

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also puppy!seb trying really hard to hold it in but being unable to is just *chefs kiss* sooo on point!! can we please talk about seb+watersports? i dont think we have yet 🤔

(off the top of my head, i think most of the time its about trusting you to know his limits and call it in time, but also sometimes its about letting him fail even though he is trying so hard bc sometimes things happen and its an opportunity for him to fail in a safe environment and feel that it is actually alright to mess up sometimes.

also about trusting you to know which one he needs.)

🍋

p s im so glad youre feeling a bit better, hope youll get well soon!! and best of luck on your test 💜🍀

Of course we can!! We haven’t spoken about this kink in ages, which is so odd because I used to get Charles anons knocking my door down to talk about it (where are those anons? Please come back?) so yes absolutely!! I’m gonna talk about it more in puppy play and then also in general because I find both so hot.

PUPPYPLAY:

I think the first time is a genuine accident? You’ve done watersports with Seb before by this point, so it’s not entirely new. But you hadn’t talked about incorporating it into puppyplay yet.

Poor Seb just has a complete meltdown the first time. Cause he was having so much fun? He was laying in his comfy bed at your feet, maybe sucking/chewing on something cause he loves that and then he felt a pressure in his tummy. He tried to tell you, maybe trying to whine a little louder or paw at your leg. But you think he’s just playing so you don’t pay it any mind.

Until suddenly he’s crying and there’s a wet patch on his boxers and you try to help him but he can’t make it and ends up making a huge mess in the hallway. Poor little puppy just cries and cries cause he feels so naughty?

You reassure him of course, tell him you know it was an accident and he’s not in trouble. But afterwards, once he’s back to himself, he admits that he liked it? Well obviously he didn’t like the accidentally wetting himself in the hallway, but he liked the desperation and not making it to the toilet.

So you start to play around with it more. And he loves it. He always tries to hold on, tries to be a good puppy, and sometimes he does manage to hold on long enough to crawl over to the shower and then you watch him let go. Maybe you put some puppy pads down for emergencies? And he’s always BRIGHT red when he has to use them but the moment he’s finished he’s also rock hard and crawling into your lap.

NORMAL:

Yeah I fully agree that it’s about trust and letting go. I also think it’s about you making ALL his decisions for him?

When Seb wants to just relax for a day and have you be in charge, then he doesn’t want to make a single decision. Even choosing to get up to go to the bathroom is too much for him when he wants to just switch his mind off.

So you choose. Maybe you even say that he’s not allowed to ask?

So you can see getting desperate, starting to squirm and maybe even holding himself. But he’s not allowed to ask, because you make all the decisions and he has no say. And because he’s no allowed to ask, he has no idea if you’re going to let him go or if you’re going to make him wet himself.

Sometimes you might even order him to let go right where he is? You’ll fetch a towel, put it down on the floor then make Seb kneel and let go. He gets no warning if you choose this, one minute you’re next to him and the next you’ve put a towel down.

And of course he always get a shower afterwards AND a handjob in the shower. The handjob has to be in the shower. Those are the rules.

#💧💧#🍋#🐶#nsfw.#gn!reader #sub!sebastian #sv

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time-is-honey · 3 years ago

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coming home wounded (to childe)

hi! sorry ive been MIA recently, UK daylight savings happened recently and im still not used to living here (woah honey lore, ze moved to the UK a few months ago)

also u two aren't dating in this but theres some romantic tension because of course there is

warnings: blood, gore, swearing, mentions of undressing but it goes literally nowhere, childe’s real name used, not proofread

hes so concerned!!!

huge crush on u, hates seeing u hurt

geeeeeeeentle

makes u feel safe, constantly reassuring you

sleeps in ur room that night

“You don't have to tell me right now.”

God, fucking ow. Treasure hoarders usually aren't a big deal for you, just mind your business and walk by. Today was different though, for some reason. Some fucker in a mask decided YOU needed to be today’s target, so now you're stuck with a stab wound on your thigh and damn, it fucking hurts. You’ve never really been injured to this extent considering you're not much of a fighter, so your tolerance is practically nonexistent. Having to walk home isn't much better either, but at least you might have someone waiting for you. Your good friend Tartaglia has been your roommate for around two months, and it's honestly a 50/50 chance that he’s home to help you.

Fumbling with your keys, you finally manage to make it inside your house. By this point though, the pain was far too much, and you collapse, yelling in pain. You’re conscious, you know that, but it’s getting pretty hard to stay that way. Your prayers seem to be answered though, and your roommate rushes to your side.

“[Name]?? What happened?” He asks frantically, his usual confident facade is nowhere to be found.

All you can manage is a sob as he lifts you. He doesn't need an answer, honestly. All he knows is that you need help and that he has the supplies to help you.

“It’s alright, you don't have to tell me right now. I’ll get you patched up, okay? You're gonna be just fine.” He reassures you as he sets you down on the bathroom floor. You believe him, of course, since his tone of voice is the most genuine you've ever heard from him. You have to admit, being vulnerable around him when he’s like this doesn't feel that wrong. You wouldn't even mind crying right now if it wasn't for the fact that your leg had a fucking stab wound in it.

“It hurts, Ajax, it hurts so bad.” You can’t speak louder than a whisper at this point, that's how awful your pain is, but he hears you loud and clear. He pauses, not for long, but long enough to take in the fact that you just used his real name for the first time. He had more important things to worry about though, so he ignored the pink slowly spreading across his cheeks.

“I know, [Name], I promise that you’re gonna be okay. I've treated wounds like this many a time, so I know what I'm doing. You can trust me, I swear on it.” He gives a slight squeeze to your hand before getting to work.

“I’m gonna have to take off your pants. I know it's awkward but your wound is much too high up for me to be able to treat you properly. Is that alright?” You nod reluctantly, only hesitating because of how painful you know it’ll be.

He slowly unbuckles your belt and pulls them down, you wince and tighten the rock-solid grip you have on your sink.

"Sorry, I know it hurts, I'm being as gentle as I can.” You've never heard him speak in this soft of a tone, you almost wish he’d be like this more often, but considering the circumstances, it may be for the best that he’s not.

He treats your wound as if you could crumble under his touch. He’s never seen you as fragile or weak and has never treated you that way either. Until now, anyway. He’s constantly checking if you’re alright, hoping your pain is subsiding even a little. Tartaglia can't stand to see you cry, much less cry due to this level of pain. He can't help but take a break every few minutes when applying medicine just to hold your hand and tell you everything’s going to be okay. He’d never do this for anyone else, but something about you just makes him want to shield you from the world and keep safe.

As he wraps up your wound with the last of his bandages, his tone of voice becomes increasingly less worried. His normal cocky attitude slowly creeps his way back into his cadence.

“See? I told you you’d be just fine, I'm a master at treating wounds. Don't you just feel peachy?” Any semblance of vulnerability you both shared is quickly swept away, as expected from Tartaglia.

Of course, you need to quip back, “I’m sitting in front of my roommate with my pants around my knees and a fucking stab wound in my thigh. I’ll give you one guess as to whether or not I feel ‘peachy.’”

He chuckles at your response before lifting you in his arms once again, taking you to your bedroom this time.

“Get changed,” he says, his genuine tone coming back slowly, “or try to, anyway. I’m staying with you tonight whether you like it or not. I've gotta keep an eye on you in case I made a mistake patching you up.”

He’s lying, and he knows he is. Something in him is screaming to stay with you, even if he knows you’re completely set. You even have a feeling he’s lying.

“You sure?” your question through your closed door.

“Positive.”

His warm smile greets you as you open your bedroom door once again. You try to limp slowly to your bed, but feel the same arms life you yet again.

“Don’t put weight on your leg.” He gently sets you down on one side of your bed and climbs onto the other, facing the ceiling.

What seems like a few hours seem to go by, there's a noticeable amount of tension surrounding the two of you, but you seem to ignore it. Tartaglia, on the other hand, hates awkward silence.

“[Name]?”

“Hm.”

“You called me Ajax earlier.”

Shit. You so did. You REALLY hoped he wouldn't acknowledge it, especially considering how vulnerable you seemed to be.

“Guess I did, why are you pointing it out?”

“I’m not upset, don’t worry. I just keep wondering why you did specifically then.”

All you can manage in response is to clear your throat. He laughs quietly and turns toward you, grabbing your hand yet again.

Giving it a reassuring squeeze, his voice lowers to a whisper. “It’s alright, you don't have to tell me right now.”

The two of you stay that way, fingers interlocked with no intention of ever letting go. You two were just friends, of course, but here in your bed, relationship status meant nothing. You both knew you’d have to take on tomorrow like none of this happened, but for now, you both just wanted to stay with each other for as long as possible.

You closed your eyes not long after, you knew you couldn't manage to fall asleep any time soon, but you may as well try. The pain in your leg was still excruciating, but Tartaglia’s presence seemed to be far more relaxing, so maybe you have a shot.

A few moments go by before a light squeeze is given to your hand.

“I’m so glad you’re safe, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” His voice is no louder than a whisper. He plants a kiss on your forehead before turning over to get some sleep of his own.

His misguided authenticity only fuels you to do the unthinkable and mutter softly in his ear.

“Thank you, Ajax. I love you.”

Who knew all you needed was a stab in the thigh to finally say that.

SORRY IF THIS SUCKS ITS LIKE 6 AM AND I STILL HAVE YET TO GO TO BED AHHHH OK GN

tags:

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #gore warning #childe #tartaglia #childe genshin #tartaglia genshin #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #angst? maybe #idk you get stabbed #comfort #still so in love with childe #its bad

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a-dumb-simp · 4 years ago

Note

Hey! I have a request that might be triggering, there aren't any rules I could find but please forgive me if I have not looked hard enough. May i please have headcanons of the demon brothers finding mc (gn) unconscious from suicide attempt? It's okay if it's not doable as I know the struggle, please take care of yourself in these tough times. I wish you well. Love, anon.

⚠️TW⚠️

IM BACK

Also I'm gonna leave these a bit open ended and maybe make something else with it later!

It's perfectly okay! Personally I find a lot of peace in asks like this or reading fics/headcannons with angst because I love the emotions themselves and the coping process!

Thank you for the ask, I haven't done anything in over 2 weeks so this kinda helped me get back on track and I hope you have a lovely day!

⚠️The more I wrote the more into I got, so it just progressively gets more and more gruesome and horrible! So warning⚠️

Each have a different form of suicide

Lucifer

Self harm

He was waking back from a meeting with Dia when he found you

He went to check on all his brothers, and you in your rooms

Yours was the first he entered, he had missed you that day and felt bad he couldn't say goodbye in his rush to leave

He of course knocked on your door gently and found it odd when it pushed open with his touch

He almost left

He almost turned around, assumed you were still a bit angry about the morning

But he missed you

He started to walk faster to the other side of the room where the bathroom connects

He saw the light on, and again knocked, maybe you were just in the shower and couldn't hear him before he came in?

Again no response

He was genuinely worried

You're a fragile human for fuck sake, you can't survive here without him...

He frantically got out his key and pushed the door open, only to find you

In the elegant pristine silver bathroom, covered in your blood.

You body twisted and a look of pain and fear in your tense muscles, nearly looking asleep during a nightmare

He stood shocked for a moment, all his memories of Lilith subconsciously coming back, his memories of seeing the blood and pain on his brothers faces after the fall.

He reached for you without noticing

His eyes filling with tears and not breathing

finally got a hold of your wrist and felt the warmth in your body

You blood smearing around his fingers

It gave him hope and shocked him back to where he was

He calmly picked you up, didn't let his tears fall and walked you to his room

He bandaged your wrists tight and secure, and sat by the bed reading a book

He couldn't even bring himself to wipe the blood off his hands forever staining the pages with this memory, with you

He couldnt get passed the first page, not be able to concentrate for a minute on anything

Once again he was lost

And he refused to let anyone in again, he couldn't take it

Mammon

Hanging

He had a modelling shoot and left you at home by yourself, he never regrets anything more

He was walking back into the house his sunglasses falling off his nose as he yelled for you

As he walked in his glasses completely slipped off his face

He attempted to grab them on instinct but just dropped them immediately

He ran to you

Your body limp and slightly swaying from the ceiling, he reached for your arms and pulled you down

He would give up everything he owned at this moment for you to be okay

He gently laid you down on you bed and looked you over

Thankfully you were still breathing, albeit rough with a minor hitch

You were okay

He couldn't stop repeating it

He reached out to touch the mark now deepening in shade on your neck and moved back like it burned him

The rope burn only searing in his mind what had happened

did he cause this?

did he make you want to leave so badly?

He can't stand to just sit in this silence

He ran and told Lucifer and immediately walked out of the house

He had no idea where he was going but he couldn't be there without your voice

He couldn't be there

Leviathan

Overdose

He had left his room for the first time since yesterday

You usually cane to join him and sit with him when he got a new game so you could still enjoy each others company but you didn't

He noticed pretty early on but thought maybe you were just busy

He decided to take a small break, something he would only do for you, and found you in your room

You were convulsing on the floor with a puddle of blood around your mouth

A pill bottle rolled back and forth, recently dropped from you hand

Eye slightly rolled back and whimpering

Small twitches in your hands and legs

He just fell

He fell to his knees and screamed

Scrambled on the floor to grab you

He felt so helpless and knew it was unfair that he couldn't do anything

He screamed until his throat burned and he was hyperventilating

More blood came up and couldn't help but cry

His brother of course heard and Lucifer came running in

He took your body running to get you to either Solomon or Diavolo, maybe even a human hospital

while Levi struggled in Mammons arms

He just wanted to help, it was unfair he couldn't help you

It was all his fault really if he had just checked on you earlier

If he hadn't been a disgusting piece of shit and somehow put a game over you

If he had just maybe never met you

Never saw you again

That would help right? He's the one that made you do that yourself...right?

Mammon was the one to carry him back to his room when he passed out from the panic attack

Satan

Gunshot

He had anger issues and you knew that

Dammit you knew that going into this relationship

So why when he found you with a gun to your head did you say you couldn't take it anymore?

Did you mean him? Did you mean that you couldn't take him anymore?

He understood to some degree he truly did, he just wished you were pointing the gun at his head instead of yours.

He grabbed your arm right before you pulled the trigger and the shock of the bullet hitting the mirror behind you caused you to pass out

He caught your body and felt the overwhelming rage again, but he couldn't actually feel it

He was numb to whatever else he felt other than regret

Because obviously you regret him, you regret this, what you have

He couldn't find any other reason

other than him

So he picked up the gun

Spun the fucking chamber and pulled it to his chest

He would have done the same as you but he felt it was more fitting to be shot through the chest

His heart stopping would be better for you right? This would be best for you!

Lucifer found him, and kicked the gun from his hand

Satan didn't even put up a fight, he just slumped to the floor

And let Lucifer carry both yours and his bodies elsewhere

He didn't care

Asmodeus

Drowning

He went to take a relaxing bath, he had a tiresome day with all those people flirting with him

He saw you at the small party at the beginning but got somewhat lost in the eyes of Solomon, they had fun of course but he would always be loyal to you

It was just a bit of harmless fun, right?

He got ready, put on calming music and opened the door to his luxurious bathroom

Only to find you already in the water

At the bottom of the tub

Turning blue

He didn't hesitate to pull you out

Already screaming questions and accusations at you as he realised you were already passed out

You were cold in his arms shivering and twitching constantly

He started doing CPR as he screamed for his brothers

He did mouth to mouth and all he could think was that he hoped this wasn't your last kiss

He couldn't let you go like this

The image of you in his bath sunken and blue, cold and icy sent more chills up his spine

He didn't even notice his older two brothers rushing in, taking you from him until he woke up a couple hours later

He wanted to find you he wanted to search for you, he wanted to apologize because he knew what he had done but all he could do was stare at his wall and cry

For once he let himself fall again, fuck his beauty he just wanted you

He had nothing left except himself and right now he felt as cold as you own body had

Beelzebub

Falling

I'm so sorry

He came back from the gym ready for you to attack him with hugs and was confused at first why you didn't

He instead gathered some snacks for you, assuming you had a bad day and wanted to make you happy :)

He got to his room and still couldn't find you, every day you two would come back here and hang out so what happened?

He heard his phone go off and was going to ignore it but thought it might be you

fuck he almost wished he would have ignored it

”I’m sorry, I love you, I know this is going to hurt both of us but I'm done. Goodbye.”

He knew where you were and what you were doing immediately

You had told him before of your attempts and he had reassured your crying and hugged you all night

Belphie joining in at one point

He found you at the edge of the Devildom, a cliffside over the city

Beautiful really, but at the moment is was Beelzebubs worst nightmare replaying itself

As you turned to fall you caught his gaze and smiled a bit

All he could see was Lillith, a flashing image of his sister smiling while falling replayed as he couldn't move

He couldn't scream, he was frozen just like last time...

When he saw the smile on your face turn to fear as you made your final decision he reached out

He felt the fear wash over him, he knew this moment, he replayed it in his head every fucking day

Saw her falling backward and failing, failing to grab her...

He ran once again, not caring if he died just wanting to save you, wanting to take your place

If he could switch places with Lilith he would have, and he would have done the same for you

Wanting to finally do good

Wanting to redeem himself for what he did to Lilith

He caught you arm, his wings making a faint buzzing noise and pulled you back up

Neither of you spoke

He eventually pulled back and found you to be sleeping, drained of all energy after that

He fell asleep with you, and you both stayed there for the night.

Belphegor

Stabbing

He woke up to a gagging noise, horrible and painful

Reaching over to feel you against him and only felt the cold bed

He saw the light in the bathroom and nearly fell back asleep, until that awful gagging noise came back

It was ironic really seeing you choke on your blood the same as before

Instead of his hands around your throat your own blood coming up...cutting off your breathing

He would have been glad to witness this a while ago

Would've probably paid to watch the show

And now,

He was stunned, reached up to his own throat and squeezed a bit subconsciously

He can't remember how many times he's apologized for it, can't remember how many times you've said it was alright

Did you do this because you thought it would make him happy? is that why you would do something so fucking stupid?

He ripped off his shirt and torn a piece to wrap around your torso, the blood from the stab wound already bleeding through

You stupid fucking human, he knew this was a bad idea, he was idiotic for letting you fool him.

He picked you up and carried you to Divaolo himself, personally begging him to help you

He pushed everything aside because of you and this is how you repay him?? This

He can't go in to see you so sits outside the room you're in and prays

He prays

To whoever can hear him that you survive

Because if you don't, he will burn Earth himself.

#I'm so sorry #I had to look up ”different way to commit suicide” and it brought up a helpline instead of statics✨#asmodeus obey me #lucifer obey me #obey me #obey me beelzebub #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me!#satan obey me #angst #obey me angst

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is-that-another-soulmate-au · 5 years ago

Text

Alright let's try this Soulmate body switch AU I'm also attempting this whole "make a tag" thing... bare with me, ive only actually used this app for like 4 days now im gonna go with "RayMakesSoulmates" for now... uhm, idk what else to go with uhhhhh yeah, names Ray btw...

Okay here we go. The idea of switching bodies is something a bit strange to me so let me make this work for me.

Basically it happens once a year after you either turn 17 or meet your soulmate. If its the latter then there has to be alot of turmoil and confusion on one side to trigger the first switch because it does not happen at the first encounter. However after the first encounter you'll sometimes have little blurry dreams that are in fact core memories of your soulmate. But theyre always too blurry to point out who's involved and sounds are too muffled to pin point any specific noises words or what have you.

Now, the dreams don't happen every night but they happen often enough that you are made aware that you have met your soulmate at some point recently.

So after Zuko visits the south and they begin their cat and mouse game around the world Zuko often has blurry dreams of white with black falling what he thinks is people screaming and what he knows is muffled crying. While Sokka has random dreams of what he thinks is someone moving away into the darkness and someone screaming out to them but he can't figure out what they're saying. Another dream he has is a blurry glow of bright blue and crying. There's also one that shows up more often than the other two, its when he sees what he believes is someone moving towards him saying something, but its muffled, then a bright light and muffled screaming and crying.

However after Ba Sing Se Sokka has a dream that's clear and vivid, not muffled and not blurry. After he takes a moment from shooting up to a sitting position he realizes that this is not a dream, he's switched bodies. Standing up and moving the blankets off of him he looks around and sees the there are fire nation items everywhere, it looks like he's in a royal bedroom. He elects to keep calm as he moves towards where he thinks is a bathroom, he is correct and when he looks into the mirror he freezes. His heart drops into his stomach. Sokka can hardly believe what he's looking at. Staring back at him is not his face, but Zuko's. He reaches up to touch the scar on Zuko's face. While yes he has control over his body and he doesn't exactly know how to act 'firenation' let alone 'fire nation royalty' he stands straight. "This won't last longer than 3 hours." He reminds himself

"What won't last longer than three hours?" Azula's voice breaks through

Instantly on edge and irritated Sokka- ahem Zuko turns to Azula "what do you want Azula?" He says in a voice thats much less irritated, theyre siblings right? So they have to be chummy right

"Oo! You sound so much less angry!" She muses "disgusting, anyways, Mai wanted me to let you know she's leaving today"

Why would he care about that? Oh they must be friends? Maybe they're dating? Okay, don't screw this up "uh, okay"

"Aw don't be so sad Zuzu~ you two would have never worked out anyways, her and Ty Lee switched bodies just three days ago. It was honestly was kind of amusing watching her string you along" This is not how siblings normally talk to eachother. He just glared at Azula "alright alright sheesh, ill leave you alone" he found something to write on and quickly jotted down the conversation because if he was given that information Zuko would need it.

Meanwhile Zuko shot awake and found himself lying next to appa Katara and Aang, so he is alive huh? Confused he figured he must be dreaming until he realized his vision was clear and nothing was muffled. He was below deck on a fire nation ship. He paused a moment before he stood and noticed Sokka's boomerang beside him. He lifed it and saw Sokka in the reflection. His reaction seemed to mirror(haha get it) Sokka's when he saw Zuko in the mirror. But he dropped the boomerang and it made a loud bang which woke the other two up "Sokka what are you doing, the sun is barely up"

He paused and cleared his throat. Okay, sure he's been chasing them he needs to not blow this "uh, sorry, nightmare"

Katara shifted and turned to him, a genuine look of worry in her eyes "do you want to talk about it?" She asked in a tone that reminded him of his mother. Genuine love.

He forced himself not to tear up at the memory and just shook his head "no, I honestly can't remember it. Just scared me is all" the hesitation in Katara's expression before she responded was strange to him

"Alright, if you say so, do you mind going and asking dad to change the course? We need to stop and get supplies"

His hesitation and expression probably made her realize what happened "okay, youre not Sokka right now are you?" He froze and nodded slowly "alright, you dont have to tell me who you are, but I'll help you through the motions, Aang and I switched back in Ba Sing Se, that was the day when you questioned why I said I'd fly around, er- or that was when Sokka questioned me" okay she was a little more accepting of this than he thought.

"Uhm, okay, yeah, right, uhm, I don't want to blow this so can you just uh show me around? I'm sure Sokka knows all the people he's- oh agni he's gonna meet my dad" zuko internally cringed.

In that moment it seemed to click with Katara "alright, so you're telling me your Zuko"

Zuko flinched and backed up against the wall "look I dont know what you want me to do about this, but I promise you that I'm not going to ruin anything, I know I messed up, hell Sokka's probably noticing that my family doesn't work like yours does. I've been so confused my whole life okay, I'm sorry I betrayed you in Ba Sing Se, my sister has a way of manipulating me. I just hope he doesn't get hurt, he probably doesn't know he needs to keep his mouth shut in my family." Zuko was panicking when Katara reached out

"Zuko, zuko what do you mean?" Her voice shaky

"Look I cant tell you everything, I cant tell you my life story not right now, I need to get through with this. If we meet again, which I hope we do, ill tell you then. But right now, please just show me what Sokka goes through day to day. I know he's not gonna like what happens on the other end, I just hope it doesn't go too bad."

Katara nodded "alright well. Let me walk you around and let you learn the peoples names, ill just say hi to them and say their names." She paused "but first, tell me about your mother, i dont know if I believe it anymore"

He sighed before telling her the entire story.

Meanwhile at the palace Sokka was sitting in a war meeting knowing to keep his mouth shut unless spoken to. He didnt want to set people off or let them know he wasn't actually Zuko. The topic of the earth kingdome came up and Ozai turned to him "Zuko, you've spent time among the Earth kingdom citizens. What information do you have?"

"Uh, the Earth kingdoms citizens are strong willed and hopeful, as long as they have hope they will not yeild"

"Hmmm, I see, we need to crush their hope"

"Well, thats not what I-"

"I think we should take their precious hope and burn it to the ground!" Azula cuts in

"Yes, yes good idea Azula" Oh no

About an hour after the meeting the switch flipped, Sokka made notes about everything that he found important in time before the switch was over.

After they switched back Sokka found his sister and grabbed her shoulders "Katara, I have to tell you something, I just got back from a body swit-"

"And your soulmate is Zuko? I know, he cried when I was nice to him, what happened on your end?"

"Well, his whole family is mean to him"

"Figured"

"I was in a war meeting and found out their plan for the comet"

After relaying the information he found they discussed it with Aang.

Let's skip ahead to after the failed invasion and to the air temple when Zuko shows up.

"Hello, Zuko here"

No fighting it in this one

"Get your jerk bender butt over here" Katara and Sokka said practically in unison.

>im gonna wrap it up here. And yes Katara would notice its not Sokka and would totally pick up on Zuko, she's observant

>and no Azula wouldn't notice at all because she's used to Zuko being stand offish with her. Plus Sokka is so much better at impersonations than Zuko

@chaoticidiott @roman-does-nothing @bisexuallsokka @transzukostanblog

I dont know if I did this AU justice, I tried.

#RayMakesSoulmates #atla sokka #prince zuko #sokka #sokka x zuko #zukka #zuko #avatar the last airbender #so gay #omg #tw: caps

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ukiyo-jaem · 5 years ago

Text

my timer didn't go off to post this at 0:00 i am so sorry~~

warnings: smut (it's tasteful), mean parents (??) that's about it. it's got fluff in here. NOT PROOFREAD

words: 4.1k (there's a plot, trust me)

domestic!mark lee ugh a fan favorite~

I listened to Fool for You by Zayn while writing so...yeah. alrighty, let's go~~

---------------

Fool For You

summer breezes and fresh flowers. the first big stretch when you first wake up that has you reeling back into the euphoric feeling of your warm sheets. taking a bite of your favorite dessert that reminds you of home. that scent that carries you away to your childhood of good memories and make-believe scenarios; where the worst disaster was your parents calling you in for dinner.

that's what it felt like to be in his presence.

the late night summer dates with Mark were what felt like true heaven. the nights where both of you would stay up till the early dawn holding each other so closely. the stickiness of one's skin from the morning humidity was beauty in his eyes. your natural form where no one could take you away from him.

"no matter how much i say that i love you, i will always love you more than that."

his words held so much depth when he spoke to you. he treated you like his queen and he truly was your king. he was the love of your wildest dreams. but he was way better...because he was real.

both of your families condemned this love and thought of it as useless and a waste of time. yet, it was all the time for both of you. you didn't need anyone else except mark and mark alone.

but every knife has it's point...and you've both been reaching it slowly but surely. the calls to one's family becoming longer and less loud.

"i don't want to go to dinner with your family though." your words were heartbreaking to his ears but he had made his decision. "i know. please. i know you hate them-" "i could never hate anyone, mark. it pains me but i'd never let it turn into hate" you said and his shoulders dropped. "you're so strong. just one night and i will never ask you to go near them." his eyes pleaded from where he was laying on the bed. your body positioned at the end of the comfy and warm bed.

your mind was lost in thought until you felt his hand grab yours. "pretty please?" he pouted and you groaned laying down. "that's so not cool to pout." you said turning towards him. "but i know it works." he comes closer to lay soft kisses all over your face, ending with a meaningful kiss on your lips.

"fine." you breathed after he finished his moment of passion. "and that is why you're the best." he grabbed your body and pulled you on top of him.

"we have to leave soon." you complained and he groaned. "you wanted me to go so bad and now you're gonna make us late." you said straddling his waist. "yeah yeah yeah." he held your waist and sat up.

you rolled off as he puckered his lips, leaving your boyfriend waiting. "what are you gonna wear, handsome?" you opened the closet. "nice shirt. blazer. pants." he listed off the most vaguest items. "well duh but what color?" you looked at your dresses. "black." he said and you wanted to bang your head on the closet door.

"okay tomorrow we're going shopping and i'm making you add some more color into your wardrobe." you said taking his blazer and dress shirt down. "yes dear." he dragged out.

"i'm going to go get dressed and do makeup." you waved him off and disappeared into the bathroom.

makeup was simple as you were left alone. yet, once you were starting your hair, mark thought it was an amazing idea to come in and try to dance the time away.

music had been playing for the past 20 minutes through the household speakers. it was a usual occurrence and a well loved routine. say you won't let go by james arthur had been sweeping through the house for the past couple of minutes.

his arms wrapped around your waist and his cheek rested against your shoulder.

"you look as beautiful as ever, and i swear that everyday you get better. you make me feel this way some how-" his soft voice carrying you away from the daily task.

"im gonna love you till my lungs run out, i promise till death to us part like in our vows-" his hands gripped yours, twirling you around in the small bathroom, ending up with you both pressed up chest to chest, slow dancing on the tiled floor.

"dont cry." he pouted as he saw your eyes fill with tears. He gently wiped them before they could fall. "then don't be so freaking cute." you pouted and his smile stretched across his face. "ugh you're so cute." he kissed your cheek ever so gently as to not mess up your makeup.

"and you're looking as dashing as ever." you brushed your hands over his dress shirt, the first few buttons still unbuttoned, his silver chain still laying on his exposed collar bones.

"want me to do your hair?" you asked and he didn't hesitate to sit on the toilet lid and wait patiently.

he always seemed so relaxed with your fingers running through his hair; the requests at 3 am after he awakes from an unpleasant dream never making you angry.

his hair was so soft and fun to play with. but with a little touch of magic and hair product, he would transform into his model-like man.

you finished up and let him go relax in the bedroom.

your dress hugged your body so nicely and flattered every curve you thought you never possessed. when paired with the jewelery mark had gotten you for your guys' anniversary, a goddess was being put together in human form.

"ready?" you asked walking back to the room to get your shoes. a whistle made you scoff lightly at the behavior. "ready to come home already and have you all to myself." mark sighed but you walked over to put your phone in your hand-purse along with extra lipstick and perfume.

he started to look nervous about the whole situation. "relax. i'm here for you and you alone. if you want to leave as soon as we get there? we'll just go to a different restaurant." you put a hand on his chest comfortably. "you got this." he smiled as you knew all his emotions at once.

"now let's go. i'm hungry." you kissed his cheek quickly and wiped away the mark of your lip color.

both of you walked hand in hand out of the house and to his car where he nervously drived you both to the restaurant.

"here we are." was all he said as he parked facing the restaurant. inside the window sat his parents and brother. his brother was with his own partner as they all laughed. mark knew he didn't have to worry about his brother not accepting his love. it was all his parents.

"let's go. try to look happy. they're your parents." you defended them. something he never understood about you. when facing backlash from his parents, you just let it go and never returned the hate. you were so loving while they did nothing but try to bring you down.

"but they're raging assholes to you." he turned towards you and you shrugged, wiping something on his cheek away and keeping your hand on the side of his face.

"and that's fine. but you're their baby. they just want the best for you. they'll never be happy with anyone." you tried to put it into perspective but it never helped.

he took your hand off his face and held it tightly. "tell me you want to leave. and we're gone." he said and you laughed lightly. "fine." you agreed and his smile made everything feel better.

"let's get this over with." he exited and ran to get your door like the gentleman he was.

he hooked your arm in his and lead you both towards the entrance.

"try to make memories. they're your parents. they love you." you reminded and he rolled his eyes. "yes, dear." he opened the door for you and didn't let you enter without a quick and cheeky smack to your ass. he acted innocent as he lead you to the round table.

"Oh, Markie!" his mom called drawing all attention to both of your presences. his parents hugged and pinched his cheeks as you greeted his brother and his brother's partner. "you look amazing tonight, y/n." his brother's partner smiled. "oh thank you so much. you look even better though! are those Cartier earrings?!" you rejoiced at their exquisite tastes.

"Only the best for them." Mark's brother smiled and you coo'd at the pure love.

"Here sit next to me." The 2 seats were next to Mark's father and Mark's brother's partner.

You gladly accepted the seat and Mark sat down not long after you. "We already ordered for you guys not knowing when you would show up, I apologize." Mr. Lee smiled at Mark. "Oh that's alright. What's on the menu tonight?" Mark asked, his hand finding yours underneath the white dining cloth. "Well I thought with all your work that we'd treat us all to steak." His mother smiled and you could hear a sigh come from the girl next to you.

"But I haven't seen y/n's figure in a while so I made the exception for a plain salad for you." Mrs. Lee forcibly smiled at you. Mark's hand squeezed a little harder than normal. "Oh thank you for the consideration and accomodations, Mrs. Lee," Her eyes squinted as what seemed like spite. "and might i add that you look amazing tonight." your genuine sincerity broke almost everyone's hearts at the table. "oh why thank you but i'm not one for meaningless small talk." she took a sip from her dark red wine.

"it's alright. i completely understand." you smiled and and she rolled her eyes. "of course you do." she muttered and turned towards her youngest son. "so, mark, what is new at the company?" her eyes held eagerness for conversation, something you'd wish to see atleast once.

"don't listen to the old bat." the beautiful woman said that sat next to you. "it's her baby. nothing is ever good enough for him." she rolled her eyes. "i know. i understand where her heart is." your fingers toying with the dainty necklace resting on your collarbones.

"you can have some of my meal when it comes. i didn't know what they were going to pull so i made sure to eat a burger before i came." you both giggled at the matter as someone cleared their throat. you both looked up to see Mr. Lee sending daggers towards your direction.

"i apologize." you said straightening yourself up in your seat. "what was so funny?" he asked sternly. "we were actually talking about her new line coming out in a couple weeks. something with one of the models. you know how that is." she swooped to your defense. "by the way, how is it coming?" she asked, takin a sip of the ice water infront of her.

"it's..uh..going very well actually. i have some investors coming to my fashion show to see if they'd be interested in investing. if they invest then i would be able to organize shows in other parts of the world. milan, london, paris, beijing, new york, tokyo-" "but are you going to go back to school for business or just dilly-dally until something goes wrong?" Mrs. Lee asked quickly.

"well my father and mother are both ceo's of their company so they help guide me in what i have trouble with." you smiled. mark's hand has become steel as he hasn't let go yet. the waiters brought out the food one by one with a small and plain side salad being placed infront of your body.

mark stared at the bare plate in front of you and wanted to hurl at that being the only food you were going to eat tonight.

"i'm fine." you leaned over to whisper in his ear. "eat so they don't ask you questions." you nudged his elbow.

"sharing food is prohibited." Mr. Lee cut everyone off. "we're not." mark muttered defeated. you swallowed your pride and ate a leaf at a time to try and curb your actual hunger.

mark ate a couple bites but you could tell he was taking his anger out with chewing; jaw clenching was one of his tell-tale signs of anger...and this steak didn't look like tough meat.

"markie. we went to church this past week and there is this lovely graduate student new in the congregation." his mother called as she ate her own food. you could see most of the people almost choke on their food but you remained steady in eating.

inside though, your tears were building up behind a wall that you would try to make stand till tonight when you were truly alone.

"yeah?" he asked, not knowing what else to say.

"yes. and she's not seeing anyone right now. her parents agreed to an arranged marriage if you weren't opposing." the killer was that mark didn't say anything. yet, you could hear his knuckles pop as he gripped his steak knife.

the wall was slowly crumbling as you suddenly felt full of the plain watery vegetable. you put your fork down and could only stare at your lap where a napkin laid.

"say something, dude." his brother coughed weakly.

"hell no." mark bursted and everyone could see him try to reel in his words again.

"excuse me?!" Mr. Lee bellowed, causing other dining patrons to look over.

"I'm not going to marry anyone except the love of my life." mark steamed, dropping his utensils.

"you don't know who that is yet, mark. you can't screw around with marriage and get it wrong. especially waste it on a-" mark interrupted his mother, "a what, mom?" he asked and she suddenly lost her words.

silence fell over the table as your napkin had a single ring of wetness appear suddenly. "oh no, not here. not here, sweetie," the gracious lady beside you got up "come on, we're leaving." she said to her husband and lead you out of the restaurant quickly.

as soon as you were out of eye sight, you immediately broke down in ugly tears. "don't listen to them. you are absolutely gorgeous and are a match-made-in-heaven for mark." she rubbed your back sweetly.

"you are so nice to them for no reason. you will be more of a better person than they will ever be-" "we should go. it's gonna get ugly really quickly." Mark's brother nudged you both.

you looked in to see mark and his father standing neck to neck. then as quickly as it started, it ended with mark being the bigger man and leaving. yet, a tearful mr. and mrs. lee following him at a distance.

he wasted no time in taking you in his arms and holding you as you tried your best to cover your cries. "we're going to go before dad follows. i'll stop by tomorrow and check in on you guys. get out of here before dad goes crazy." Mark's brother shouted from his car window.

mark took your hand and dragged you to the car. he put you in and got out of there as quickly as he could.

he was as angry as you had ever seen him. you didn't try to touch him or do anything on the silent ride home. yet, his hand quickly grabbed yours.

"i should have never brought you to them. im so stupid." he groaned as he hit his wheel. "no you're not." you fought with him and he didn't have the heart to go against you.

"you are the best thing that's ever happened to me." he said, a glaze setting into his eyes that you had never seen before.

"and i could never imagine life without you." he swallowed hard and you stayed there in shocked silence.

"you make me better." tears started to roll down his cheeks as he pulled into the driveway.

"please don't cry." yet your empathetic heart made your eyes spill. you both looked at eachother and laughed at the messed up states.

"then you stop crying." he defended and you looked to you lap again. he got out of his side and trailed to yours quickly.

"im gonna show you how much i love you." he said and this sparkle in his eye gleamed so brightly, everyone would've thought he was crazy.

"okay." was all you could respond with, a small smile gracing your perfect face.

he grabbed your legs and carried you all the way to the door. he crossed the doorway and it felt different. it felt more hot and flustered and more passionate.

he closed the door and immediately had you against it. the kisses were hot and filled with lust. yet, you could tell he was getting flustered and trying to rush things. the feeling of two hands on his face made him take a breath of fresh air. "let's just take it slower tonight." you whispered but he heard you loud and clear.

he picked your legs up and put them around his waist, taking his blazer off and throwing it somewhere in the living room. you dress hugged you so perfectly but you wouldn't be needing it anymore tonight.

he navigated the house as if it were you; the back of his hand. your back was now pressed to a cool matress. his hands were rough yet slow as he pulled the black fabric off of your body. his shirt was eventually off and nothing was left between your torsos besides skin.

the moonlight cascading through the window reflected off his chain and it was no longer the soft and loving without a care mark you were used to.

he was going to make you feel his love for you. from the way his fingers played with your clothed core slowly to the heavy breathing between kisses made the night air intoxicating.

his lips were against your neck making imprints of red and purple that were sure to last for a week. both of you rocked against each other in such a rhythm that would have the ocean asking for lessons on harmony.

he picked you up and situated your body at the top of the bed where he wasted no time in shimmying the dress off of your hips so he was met with nothing but you in your panties.

those were long gone as he grabbed and ripped.

"spit." he held his hand out. you obeyed and he wasted no time in running his hand up and down your already wet core.

the kisses were rushed and heated yet you both remembered to slow down as he trailed slowly down your body, kissing every part he could see and praise.

"so beautiful." he whispered, licking a bold stripe up your pussy. you gasped and tried to readjust yourself yet his strong grip on your thighs kept you ground. his arms were hooked around you upper thighs as his hands held your hips and waist down to the bed.

his dark eyes still held that shimmer in them that made you even weaker in the knees.

he wasted none of his time with teasing and gave you exactly what you wanted. "please don't stop." your hands getting lost in his hair.

his hips grinded into the mattress steadily. "im so close already." you whined as he continued his relentless pleasure. "let go for me, baby." he pleaded and if drove you so close to the edge. it made him even more excited as you were blissed out.

it was the perfect time to take advantage of your love, yet, he was going to take care and love you till both of you couldn't.

he took off the confines of his pants and met you at the top of the bed, where you were still completely gone in the euphoric wonderland he pleasured himself to sending you into.

he was slow at first but quickly got lost in this intimate feeling of being so close to you and feeling you in a way no one could relate to.

"faster." you whined but he slowed down. "no, babygirl. we're going to do this right." he cleared the hair from your face and quickly pressed your lips together in a heated kiss.

your leg now over his shoulder as he slowly pounded into you. the knot in his and your stomach felt so much more different and pleasure filled.

your fucked out moans were like angels singing in his ears as your jewelery shined in the moonlight. both of you got sloppier as you were so close to climaxing.

"please cum in me." you begged, grabbing his hand and interlacing your fingers.

he dropped your leg and got closer, sharing a kiss that left both of you breathless. then the explosion. it was as if a bomb of stars had gone off behind your eyelids as you could only feel your back arch with the unexplained feeling of being... full.

both of you laid breathless and sweaty as you tried to regain your composure and drift down to reality.

mark laid on your chest, listening to your heartbeat as he could feel his own match yours.

once he felt your fingers start to dance through his hair, he knew that he needed to be like this forever. he needed you and only you. he couldn't miss this opportunity on his soul mate coming to him from the beginning.

his arms hooked around your body as reality was hitting.

"i love you, y/n." he said and he could hear your heart begin to beat faster.

"not as much as i could ever love you." you pinky traced up his nose bridge as he slowly drifted into sleep holding the one he cares about most...so close.

~~~~~~

"mmmmm steak." he watched as your eyes lit up at the treat in front of you. "it wasn't even enjoyable yesterday. it's amazing today though." mark's brother admitted from right next to him.

his brother and his partner came over to check up and brought take-out steaks to treat everyone with. just a relaxing night at home with everyone he truly loves and can feel the love from.

he watched your happiness and was automatically taken away~

"she's nothing to you!" his mom yelled as you were lead away from the scene.

"she's everything FOR me." mark retaliated. "but we just want what's best for you." his dad pleaded. "but happiness is all I need. why can't you see that and how she makes me the most happy." mark was at his wits ends.

he needed you and was going to have you as long as you both were breathing.

"it's only going to be a problem in the end that we have to clean up." Mrs. Lee had tears coming down her face.

a brief silence plagued the table. "so are you going to show up to the wedding or no?" he asked and if pure shock could kill someone, his parents would have been 6 feet under.

"no." spoken of disbelief.

"i will not bless the marriage!" his father screamed and stood up, causing mark to chest up to his own father. "you don't need to. I am going to marry that girl out there whether it kills me or not." mark pointed to your crying being not even 100 feet away.

"you're a fool if you believe you actually love her. you're young. you don't know what love is!" Mr. Lee had Mark's collar in his hands.

yet mark broke his grip and straightened his collar.

"then I guess I'm a fool for her and her love." and with that he left to comfort you and try to rebuild you diminished character.

~~~

"earth to Handsome." he was shocked back to reality by your smile and everyone's concerned faces. "i thought you stopped breathing or something." his brother laughed as he saw you clutch your chest and laugh lightly.

"scared us there for a minute." his brother's partner laughed along with you.

"so what was so nice going on in la-la land?" you asked taking a bit from your steak. mark shrugged, taking a sip from his wine glass.

"just...thinking." he smiled.

"well don't do that again. you scared me, you fool." you laughed.

he didn't want to admit that he had been daydreaming of you walking down the aisle in the most beautiful of dresses; something that still could never compare to your beauty. but that will be for a later confession at a later date. one where you'd know his secret: there's an engagement ring with your name on it hiding in his dress shoes in his closet. waiting for the right time in the near future.

he could only smile at your cute expression in the moment.

"then i guess i'm a fool for you."

-fin-

**these are all my opinions on how i read the boys and how i watch them interact with others. this is my own personal opinions and are in no way facts unless cited to proof. thank you®

#mark lee bestest boy #nct mark #mark #mark lee #mark lee smut #nct smut #nct fluff #nct angst #nct 127 hard hours #nct 127 smut #nct 127 #mark smut #mark lee angst #mark angst #nct 127 angst

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regrettablewritings · 4 years ago

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Modern!Jaskier x Reader Ship Meme

Prompts taken from this ship meme

Which one texts like a straight white boy?: Of course it would have to be our resident white boy. It isn’t even that he necessarily means to, there’s just an embarrassing amount of overlap between the messages a straight white boy tends to text, and those of your rising star boyfriend. You’d look more into it if it weren’t for the fact that you know there’s no actual malice in it, and because it’s just so sad that it’s funny. If one were to go into the photos saved on your phone, they would’ve surely come upon an entire album of screenshots you’d taken over the years, from when Jaskier would be on tour without you to when he’d just be resting at home while you were out at work. Things like: “Wat r u up to 2nit, cutie? ;)” “I’m probably just gonna play whatever’s on my Watch Later backlog on youtube until I conk out.” “Wild!!! anyway wat would u do if i was there rn~?” Or “Do u miss me? :(” “Of course I do ya dingus!” “Ok....Can we do a quickie over videochat?” “Jas i’m at the store.” “The point still stands.” Or “Watcha thinkin bout? ;)” “About how The Great Gatsby becoming public domain means there’s nothing stopping anyone from making a drag show interpretation called The Gay Dragsby.” “Aaww w/o me? ;)” “...” “WAIT NO I THOUGT YOU’D SAY YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT ME SHIT NO.” “BUT ACTUALLY DO GO ON IM KINDA INTERESTD.” If it were anybody else, you would’ve blocked them. But this wasn’t anybody else. It was your Jaskier: Your foolhardy, constantly horny, but never-short-of-loving Jaskier. And besides, not for nothing, at least they were something you could get a laugh out of.

Which one cried during a fucking Disney movie?: Once again, Jaskier is the guilty party. It’s no secret that he’s the more emotional of the two of you -- he wore his investment in Titanic with pride, after all. But it is a secret that the particular Disney movie to make him cry was Hercules of all things! Not Bambi, not The Lion King, not even Beauty and the Beast, but goddamn Hercules! (On another note, he also cried to Coco. But that barely counts: Literally everyone and their mother has cried during Coco. The only difference here was that Jaskier could relate to being a young man so in love with music while coming from a family that discouraged the pursuit of it.) This isn’t a knock on anyone who enjoys the movie, mind you, but let’s be honest: Out of the Disney animated canon, Hercules isn’t exactly the most . . . emotionally cathartic or heart-string-plucking of the bunch. But just because it didn’t go out of its way to create a crying frenzy doesn’t mean that it’s lacking in some humanity. It is, after all, still a Disney film. The problem is, Jaskier can’t even quite express why it made him cry the night you both decided to watch it. Maybe it had something to do with a young man most people took as a joke trying to achieve greatness? And to be fair, “Go the Distance (Reprise)” and “A Star is Born” differently when you’ve done some growing . . .

Who put a goddamned fork in the microwave?: It only happened once, but you’d never let him live it down. You like to joke that you’d left him to his own devices for just fifteen minutes so that you could take a shower -- of which was completely true -- and that was all he needed for things to go downhill. Nobody wants to think they’d be in the wrong for trusting a 20-something year-old to not be his usually somewhat distractable self. But that particular day, said 20-something year-old decided to occupy that little spot of time to himself with TV and a plate of leftovers. And normally this would’ve been fine and dandy. But normally, Jaskier would’ve just waited for the food to heat before searching for something to watch. It shouldn’t have been too big of an issue that it went the other way around that day, but apparently it was. As much as he wanted to (which honestly wasn’t by much), Jaskier just couldn’t tear his eyes away from the images flashing on the TV. The baby blues were set on the screen the entire while -- up until he heard a faint popping. Followed by a sound he normally only heard in a cheesy sci-fi movie. The problem was, he wasn’t watching anything even remotely science-fiction-y . . . All you were doing when you exited the bathroom was going to grab your lotion. That was literally all you had any expectations for. What you hadn’t expected to come upon was your boyfriend, hollering and diving over the sofa in order to scramble into the kitchen and stop that strange, not-good-sounding sound. Suffice to say, you had to put your shower on hold; it simply had to wait for you to finish fussing, then again for you to finish laughing your ass off. And again because if you entered the shower still laughing, you’d probably slip and break your head open and then Jaskier would have to deal with another possible emergency caused by himself.

Who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes “Guess who?” thing?: You can both be guilty of it, but Jaskier without a doubt does it more. Sometimes he’ll emerge from “his cave” (aka the little nook in the apartment where he likes to mess around and write lyrics or arrangements) on a break and catch an unsuspecting you sitting on the couch or at the dinner table. Other times, it could just be when he comes back from running some errands or doing a quick interview at the local radio station. You don’t mind it much . . . Especially since you can get a rise out of him by purposefully guessing the wrong person. (“Hmmm . . . Could it be . . . my mail-order husband? Boy, that was quick. And all the way from Russia, too . . .” “Uh, no.” “The milkman, finally accepting my invitation to commence a torrid love affair?” “Okay, you know damn well -- ” “Or better yet: My hopes and dreams have manifested, oh, Waluigi, could it really and truly be you!?” “What in the absolute fuck --”)

Who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner?: Because it’s usually himself who presents as being the more mischievous of the two, and because he tends to run the warmest, it always shocks Jaskier when you decide to play dirty and put your cold limbs all over him. Is it childish? Yes. But are his reactions to the sudden feeling of icy flesh hilarious? Also yes. You love to creep up on him when he’s tuning his guitar or scribbling down lyrics, or just minding his own damn business by trying to actually turn in relatively early for once. You love even more to watch him jolt and release the most high-pitched yip a man of his build could ever even joke about making. You’ll still be laughing about it as he scowls at you, cursing your “ghoul hands” and demanding to know if he’s dating a corpse at this point. Of course, no matter how peeved he might be, you can always count on one other thing from his dramatic reactions: Him huffily grabbing your hands into his own and rubbing them warm, or him forcing a park of fuzzy socks on your feet. And just for extra measure, you can be sure that he’ll spend the rest of the night holding you close or cuddling you -- “For exchanging bodily heat purposes,” he will always reason.

Who had that embarrassing reality TV marathon?: You both are guilty of it, actually. The question should really be, who is the least shameful about it. As with most things regarding a lack of shame, it was, of course, our dear Jaskier. Being a musician with a growing following, the little attention whore just can’t miss out on an opportunity to show himself off to his awaiting public. A rising star with relatability and a taste for trash? People eat that shit up! So you’ve learned to be less surprised every time he decides to liveblog himself watching things like Love Island or any of the 90-Day Fiancee spin-offs. In fact, in more recent times, you’ve come to join in with him, adding your own corresponding Tweets and commentary. Though don’t be too shocked once he starts holding polls and letting the public decide what show the two of you should watch next.

Who laughs more during sex?: You do, completely through Jaskier’s own efforts. Jaskier’s always had a pretty lax view of sex. This didn’t change when he met you, of course, but how he specifically portrayed that laxness did undergo some metamorphosis. Before, the entertainer was much more intent on his bedroom experiences being a display of power and an ability to please. Something dramatic and to be taken seriously. He still sees the importance of satisfaction in the bedroom, mind you, but with you, he can’t help but feel more . . . comfortable. With you, it’s a little more okay if he accidentally makes a dumb noise that in no way can be salvaged as sexy. With you, it’s a little more okay if he struggles to get his or your pants off, or if he struggles with removing your bra. And with you, he’s come to find that he’s a lot more okay with sharing a giggle or being a little more loose about things. It’s fine if your fingers tickle him or if he struggles to think of something proper dirty. But it’s even more fine if you think something he says or does makes you laugh, but not in a way that discredits his efforts. When you laugh, it shows that you’re comfortable with him. Comfortable enough to be with him, and be truly vulnerable. So do forgive him if he can’t help but run his fingers up your sides in a tickling fashion, or sloppily string together an innuendo. He simply loves how golden your laughter sounds, even in the throes of passion, intermingled with sweet whimpers and pleas of his name. How the heave of your chest and rippling of your tummy bumpily sync in with the rhythm of his thrusts . . . He just wants to see your smile, your genuine mirth, and bask in it with you. Besides, it serves as excellent song inspiration for him . . .

Who is the little spoon?: It depends on the sway of the day, really. As a whole, you both take turns without much thought simply because you tend to just fall into your positions. Some days, you just happen to lay into him in a way that makes you the little spoon. Other days, he conks out next to you in a manner that most could consider would make you the big spoon (or jet pack). Neither side really fights how it plays out unless one or the other may feel small and vulnerable, or just plain tired and in need of comfort. You often find yourself playing the role of the more dominating position during those first few days after Jaskier returning home from either a quick tour, or after finishing a long week of hours upon hours in the studio, or whatever kind of press-related nonsense his management team told him he needed to do. For as much as your boyfriend loved the spotlight, the truth was he was still quite capable of burning out and needing time to himself. Or, at the very least, just time with you. Even if that means he’s asleep for most of it, with you clinging to his back as he drifts off into a much-needed sleep. He makes sure to return it tenfold when you need just the same. Sure, your occupation may not be of the same nature as his own, but that didn’t mean you were in any less need of his cuddling. In fact, with him being gone as often as he was, Jaskier couldn’t help but feel almost guilty for not always being able to provide you with the basic comforts of being a constantly present boyfriend. Hence why the moment he would see your fatigued body crossing the threshold of your apartment, he would be all over you, ushering you into a quick shower, followed by a quick and simple dinner or snack, and capped off with him cuddling about you from behind. It didn’t matter if you’d come home right in the middle of a writing frenzy, or even if he’d been in the middle of searching for a breakthrough with an arrangement -- for as vain and bullheaded as Jaskier could be, he knew he owed you at least this much. You already put up with so much of his nonsense; this was quite literally the least he could do, both for you and for himself. Besides, he who was he to fight against the feeling of you wiggling closer into his hold, to deny himself the sound of your soft breathing as you lay yourself vulnerable to him? The fact of the matter is that he simply isn’t. He couldn’t be. Maybe in the beginning when things were still so unsteady and uncertain, but never now, when things had become so . . . well, what he could only describe as being “the both of you”. The both of you, molded and entwined, never wanting to let go. Never planning on it, either.

#jaskier x reader #modern!jaskier x reader #jaskier imagine #jaskier imagines #the witcher imagine #the witcher imagines #regrettablewritings

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angrylizardjacket · 5 years ago

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mouth full of white lies {Machine Gun Kelly} 6 // FINALE

6. you know, you’re my whole world

Summary: So you’re actually together! Hooray! But filming is going to wrap, and your brother wants to to talk, and what if this is just a summer fling?! Colson says it’s not, you think it’s time to start trusting what he says over your own anxiety.

A/N: It’s not NSFW, im really not in the headspace to write smut.

the brainstrust: @sataninsatin @silvertonguedserpent @juliarose21 @estxxbritt @machine-gun-casie @harringtonstudios @misscharlottelee @narcvissa @hiworlditishumbleme @angelwarner28 @nevilles-insinuations @rumoured-whispers @mgkobsessed @edwardtriggerhandzz @suckerforbarnes @wastelcve @bakerkells @local-troubled-writer @freddiessmallnipples @oopsiedoopsie23 @mayaslifeinabox @mrs-machinegun-norris @hxbbit @lilytalebi

----

Filming is due to wrap in a few days and you don’t quite know what to do with yourself. You’re flailing a little bit, like you seemed to do at the end of every project. It’s not that you didn’t know how to fill your time, you did; your own career filled your time very nicely when you wanted it to, but this is the most time you’ve spent with your brother in a long while and you weren’t looking forward to saying goodbye.

Back in LA, you’re trying not to cling to the cast, or more specifically, to your brother and your boyfriend, and it’s working on set, but after filming wraps for the whole band scenes, you feel yourself growing quiet as the boys suggest celebratory drinks. Douglas still has a few final shots they wanna film, but it’s the last time they’ll need the whole band together, at least until potential reshoots. It’s Thursday, and in a week and a half there’s gonna be a wrap party, and you’re all still going to be hanging around until then, Colson most of all since he lives here, but it feels so final.

“How’re you holding up, Duck?” Daniel finds you hovering by the bar of the club that you didn’t catch the name of, while your brother was buying drinks down the other end, and Colson was having a smoke, and you were trying to not act as awkward as you felt.

“Good, good,” you assure him, nursing your still-full drink, “it’s just gonna be weird not to see you guys every day.”

“We can call you every day if you’re feeling lonely; it might be two in the morning, I’m not great at timezones,” he tells you with a smile, and you grin back, thankful, at the very least, for the gesture.

“Colson’s house is never empty, I don’t think I’ll ever be lonely,” your voice is fond, and Daniel snorts into his drink, giving a knowing hum, “but I might still take you up on that offer,” you paused, before your grin stretches wide and you bat your eyelashes at him almost comically, “would you sing to me if I asked nicely.”

“If I did, can I tell people it’s because you asked, and not because I miss playing Vince?”

“Absolutely; your secret’s safe with me.” The two of you cheers to that, and it’s starting to hit you just how much you’ll miss this cast. After a beat, you sigh a little forlornly, but aren’t given time to dwell in your melancholy before your brother rejoins you.

The night eases on, and you feel yourself relaxing with the people you love by your side, bar hopping into the early hours of the morning, dancing and drinking, and sloppily making out with Colson in various dark corners. It’s a night that’s blurry at the edges, heart warm and conversation easy, falling into bed laughing when the sun comes up. When you wake the next day, it’s to your brother calling and inviting you out to eat.

“Late brunch,” he calls it.

“I think at this point it’s just lunch.” You yawn around your answer, and you hear Colson laugh into his pillow, which makes you smile. You tell him you’ll be there in an hour, to which Colson groans, surfacing from his own pillow to dramatically sprawl over you.

“How are you even awake, man?” He sighs when you put Douglas on speaker, “we don’t have anything to do today, why not celebrate and sleep in.”

“He’s always been like this,” you sigh, just as Douglas answers almost identically. With a shake of his head, Colson presses his smile against your cheek, followed by a kiss.

“Dude, you’re a robot,” Colson mutters, though it’s fond, and he rolls back over, pulling his pillow out from beneath his head and holding it over his face, yawning into it. Douglas invites him to lunch, but Colson graciously denies; “I love you guys, but as soon as Ducky leaves, I’m passing the fuck out again.”

When you get to the cafe your brother has picked out, he’s doing his utmost best to act casual, but you see through it almost immediately by the way he’s rearranging the sugar packets instead of looking at you.

“What?” You ask him flatly as you pick up the menu; finally he looks to you, all wide-eyed feigned innocence.

“Can’t I just want to get lunch with my dear sister?”

“You can, sure,” you concede with a nod of your head, opening the menu, your eyes on the drinks, “but usually you’re less obvious with your ulterior motives.” Flicking your gaze from the menu, already knowing what you want, you can see him grimace.

“I don’t know how to word it,” he admits after a beat, still fiddling with a packet of sugar, not meeting your gaze; you try to prompt him, but he beats you to the punch; “how long did you intend on pretending to be with Colson?”

Alarm bells are ringing in your head and it takes all your self control not to slap a hand over his mouth. Instead, you shush him loudly, looking around, frantically, terrified someone had heard. When you look back at him, you see a faintly amused smile, and you realised that your reaction had managed to confirm all of his suspicions.

“How long have you known?”

“A while,” and he’s less cagey now, settling back in his chair. The waitress comes up and you both pace an order for a drink, him looking calm and collected, you looking like you’re about to leap across the table and maul him at any given second. After she leaves, after she’s out of earshot, he continues, “since you told me you loved him, and two days later he came up to me and asked if it would be weird if he was in love with you; I just thought ‘why would it be weird? You’re together aren’t you?’, but then it hit me.”

“It’s not - fake -” you whisper the word, “anymore.”

“I can tell,” Douglas says with a gentle fondness. He doesn’t seem mad, just thoughtful.

“What?” You ask again, softer this time, a little sheepish, like you’re just waiting for him to ask why you lied to him. But he doesn’t.

“Are you happy, Duck?” It hits you out of left field, almost winds you, and you see the genuine concern in his eyes.

“Of course,” you tell him, and he wears a familiar smile, “Colson makes me so happy, Doug,” you admit, and his smile widens.

“I’m just glad you two decided to get your shit together,” he mused, “because you know I was not above parent-trapping the pair of you.”

“I think you’d have to get in line behind Casie,” you said with a slight smile, and Douglas laughed brightly, though you considered for a moment, “what a strange pair you’d make, you two trying to get Colson and I to admit our feelings for each other.”

“Wouldn’t be surprised if she’s already got a plan already figured out; I saw her on set, you’ve gotten yourself a duckling of your own,” Douglas tells you, and you can’t help the embarrassingly pleased little smile.

“You think so? She’s such a cool kid,” you enthuse, trying to play it off, but your brother gives an almost disbelieving smile.

“You’re cool, Duck.” He assures you, and you can’t help feeling pleased at his compliment.

The rest of lunch goes smoothly; Douglas asks you what your plans are after filming wraps, and you tell him that you’re probably going to stay with Colson, that you’ve got a few events lined up in LA in the next few months. He’s heading back to New York, has a film festival coming up, and some press to do for Mary Shelly, which was set to come out in June, and some travelling he wants to do.

“If you see mum and dad, give them my love,” you tell him, and he promises he will. You don’t get home much to see your family anymore; work keeps you much busier than you’d ever imagined.

The last few days on set feel like one long farewell, and it’s sad to see the few that still come in getting a little teary as they wrap.

“I’m gonna get absolutely blitzed, or I’m gonna cry my eyes out,” Josy tells you over lunch on the final day, the two of you discussing the wrap party the following night. Though you chuckle, you can’t help but know exactly how she’s feeling.

Heart in your throat, you can’t help but feel a little fragile as you get ready to go out to the afterparty. Colson, however, doesn’t seem to share this mindset.

“You look hot as fuck,” he announces, watching you apply your makeup in the bathroom mirror, already dressed for the night. Giving a sad little smile, you pause for a beat, and he joins you, rests his chin on your shoulder, “what’s up?”

“This has just been... it’s been so much, it’s weird that it’s coming to an end.”

“There’ll be other projects -” he plants a kiss on your cheek, his arms coming to wrap around you.

“I know.”

“And other movies -”

“I know.”

“And you know this crew isn’t just gonna forget about you, or each other -”

“I’m related to Doug,” you sigh, and Colson snorts, nodding, and he steps back, gives you space to turn and wrap your arms around him, though you’re still pouting, “but what if you realise I’m just... boring or something when we don’t have a film keeping us together.” And you press your face, your nervous worry, against him.

“First of all, you’re not boring. I don’t do boring girls,” he tells you flatly, “and between the two of us, we’ll always be busy anyways, but it doesn’t matter; how many times are we gonna have this conversation?” He asks with a slight frown, and you humph against him, “you expecting me to kick you out? Just cut and run? No fucking way.” And there’s an edge to his voice, something that stirs something deep inside of you. “As far as I’m aware, you’re mine, Ducky,” and a shiver actually runs down your spine.

“All yours?” You hear yourself murmur, leaning back in his arms and letting your gaze flicking to his lips, which quirk into a smirk. “I like hearing you say that.” His grip tightens almost imperceptibly, but you feel it, can see his grin widen.

“How late are we allowed to be do you think?” He asks, giving you a suggestive squeeze. After a beat, you lean into him, kissing him hard, letting the contentment wash across you as he hums appreciately against your lips before you pull back.

“You’re the star, so as late as we want.”

“Hello! Hello and welcome back my ducklings! Since so many of you asked, here is an update on how things have been between myself and my dear boyfriend since you last heard about us, which was quite a while ago. And also a get ready with me! Because it’s the premiere! Of our movie!”

“So I know since The Dirt stopped filming that I stopped sort of having Kells in my videos, and that’s because we’d been so uber public in the beginning of our relationship that when we had time to just us, we wanted it to be... more personal, more private, you know. Which might seem weird, but it’s how we like it.”

“As you all know, so much has been happening with us; we’ve been living together basically since The Dirt finished filming, or as much as we can, since we’re both travelling so much. I’ve been making my way around conventions, as well as being a part of a few more films set to come out in the next few months, meanwhile my talented boyfriend has been writing a whole new fucking album, as well as filming Big Time Adolescence with Pete, but that’s not coming out for a good long while.”

“Yes! Yes I’ve met Pete Davidson, I’m Pete-certified now, you can all calm down. Pete, Casie, and Rook have all approved me, do not stress, and Doug has approved of Kells - has always approved of him actually.”

“We spent Thanksgiving with Casie and her mom which was really nice, and I’ll have photos of us - here -” and a photo of yourself, Colson, and Casie sitting around a dining room table flashed onto the screen, followed by a selfie of Colson with you and Casie asleep together on the sofa behind him.

“Christmas I had with mom, dad, and Doug back in England, while Kells stayed back to be with Casie, but don’t worry, I flew back in time for him to be my New Year’s kiss. Casie actually got me the cutest present; so back when The Dirt was filming, she came and hung out on set, and she got her makeup done by our team; she looked so cool! Anyways so she got a photo with me and Kells, him in full costume, me lookin’ a little bit like a potato next to those two, but it’s such a cute photo. And she got me a phone case with that photo printed on it. I’ve been using it ever since, I love it so much!”

“Kells’ birthday, as I’m sure you’ve all seen, was an absolutely wild rager, which Doug came to, even though it meant he saw me do some things that no older brother should ever see his sister do - get your mind out of the gutter! Nothing like that! I just made some questionable decisions that night is all. But my man had the night of his life, and I couldn’t be prouder of him!”

“We’ve been travelling, and working, and just... it’s so good to have it all come full circle. It’s good to be back with all the cast and crew; I’ve missed them all far more than I thought I would. And Kells has been talking non-stop about seeing them, he’s in the other room planning a pub crawl as we speak.”

“So I suppose I’m just trying to tell you that we’re doing good. Really good, actually, it’s been over a year but it definitely doesn’t feel like it.” You pause, wearing a small, almost hopeful smile. “This is gonna sound really stupid, but I never thought working the Motley Crue movie would lead to all this.”

“I think he might be the love of my life.”

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk x reader #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly x reader #colson baker #colson baker imagine #colson baker x reader #the dirt #the dirt movie #the dirt cast #the dirt imagine #the dirt cast imagine #the angry lizard writes

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nightowlfandom · 5 years ago

Text

Tsundere! School! Jeon Jungkook- My Words To You

Take this time to drink some tea and relax. You deserve it.

Let’s Begin.

...

You could only stand still behind a pillar, hearing all the terrible comments your own circle would hurl towards you. You were convinced that Ella and Sooji (This just reminds me of Revenge Note 2 so I had to do it) The two were laughing like parrots on helium. It must have been really funny just digging into you like that.

“Why do we even hang out with her?”

“She’s Vivienne’s friend, that’s why!”

“Vivienne has poor taste, then. Just look at those ugly excuses for uniforms she wears.”

“She probably couldn’t even afford a better one. Have you seen her shoes?”

Your first instinct was to run away, not caring if they heard your footsteps or not. You thought about running into the bathrooms and hiding, but you’d probably be caught there. Maybe you could have hid in a classroom, but all of them were locked during lunch hour. You went to turn around a corner, only to ram into someone on the way. The impact sent you right to the floor with a loud thud. You scraped your knee pretty bad during the process. You landed right on the ground, making no sound other than your school bag dropping.

“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” a voice barked. You looked up and saw Jungkook, the school’s angel voiced singer. He didn’t particularly like you. Well, you never really talked to him. It was usually him yelling at you, calling you names, following you...just to call you names. The only bright side was that he never made fun of you for any reason. Not your uniforms or your shoes or your 3 year old torn up back pack.

You tried to scramble to your feet, ignoring the pain building up in your left leg. You attempted to walk away. Jungkook however, wasn’t having any of it.

“Aren’t you gonna apologize for- hey!” Jungkook put a hand on your shoulder to stop you from running. “I’m talking to-....Have you been crying?”

You hadn’t even noticed the tears streaming down your face. You furiously wiped them off, pushing his hand off you in the process of it all. You attempted to walk away, only to be stopped again.

“Hey! Stupid!” he shook his head at you. “You’re hurt.” He looked down at your knee.

“What do you care?” you sniffed, wiping your eyes again.

“i don’t!” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Why were you running anyways?”

“I thought you said you didn’t care.” you crossed your arms.

“Well I have a right to know why you bumped into me so rudely!” he scoffed. “Seriously, dummy. What’s wrong?” When you didn’t answer, he groaned out loud. He began digging into his own backpack and pulled out a bandaid. "At least let me fix your stupid mistake." he bent down on knee and put the bandaid on your scrape.

"You didn't have to do that." you crossed your arms, hoping he couldn't see your embarrassment. "I c-could have done that myself."

“Well you were standing there like a statue so I obviously have to do everything! Come on.” he suddenly grabbed your hand, dragging you in the direction he was going.

“Hey! Let me go!” you protested. “Where are you taking me?” You noticed he was heading for the front doors of the school. “Were you about to leave school?”

“Yep.”

“We can’t leave! We could get in trouble!” you felt your heart drop. "We could get detention if anyone finds out!"

“Well be quiet and no one will hear us leaving.” Jungkook didn’t show any sign of letting your hand go. He threw open the huge door that lead outside, still dragging you along. “We’re going to get noodles.”

“B-but I don’t really have any money on me at the moment.”

“Did I say you were paying? Pfft, Dummy.”

...

“Eat.”

A steaming hot bowl of noodles with rice balls on the side was set in front of you. Jungkook sat across from you with his own food. You looked up at him, and back down the your bowl, then back up at him.

“What?” he glared at you. “I said eat.”

“Why did you take me here?” you asked bluntly. “Why did you drag me out of school?”

“Could you stop asking so many questions.” he glared at you. “Stop being so stupid.”

“Stop calling me stupid!” you snapped back. “Just because you don’t like me doesn’t mean you have to be so mean to me!” you glared potholes into his head.

“Well if you weren’t so dumb, I wouldn’t have to be this way.” he rolled his eyes. “You’d better eat all of that. I paid for it! You aren’t leaving until you finish all of that….and I never said I didn't like you” he mumbled the least part so low that you barely picked up on it.

You eyed the plate, suddenly welcomed by a rumble from the pit of your stomach. You were starving. Deciding that it would be wasteful, you listened to Jungkook and picked up your chopsticks, beginning to eat.

“Why were you crying earlier?”

You looked up, seeing Jungkook with his arms crossed. He stared you down with a semi-curious (but also seemingly disinterested) look on his face. “You aren’t leaving until you tell me.” he looked genuinely concerned at that point, but was actively working to mask it behind his usual face of annoyance.

“I overheard Sooji and Ella talking about me.” you replied honestly. “They were talking about how Vivienne was the only reason they tolerated me.”

“Vivienne is your friend right?” he asked.

“Yes.” you bit back a sniff. “T-they always talk about how poor I am…how I can't afford nice shoes or anything.”

“Did you tell her about it?” he cut you off.

“No.” you shook your head. “They’re her friends too, I can’t do that. They've been her friends longer than me, I couldn't come between their friendship.”

“You really are a dummy.” he chuckled. “Listen, if you ever need help. I’m going to give you my number, and you’re going to call me when you’re in trouble.” he said seriously.

“Huh?” you nearly chocked on a rice-ball.

“You heard me, idiot. If something happens to you. I want to be the first person you call for help.” he dug his phone out of his pocket. “Put your number in my phone.”

“I thought you didn’t like me.” you hesitated.

“Is your heart so closed off that you can’t detect when someone cares about you?” he scoffed. “Not that I care about you! I just don’t want you to get beat up because a dummy like you can’t defend herself. That would look bad on me.”

You weren’t sure, but you could detect amusement in his voice. You reluctantly took his phone and input your number into it.

“Good.” he took his phone back. "And another thing…I wouldn't take anything those two say as fact. Sooji can't even pass Gym case because she's afraid her hair will get messed up." he joked.

"That isn't nice." you scolded. "You shouldn't talk about people."

"Well if they talk about you, then they should be able to take a little heat, shouldn't they?" he asked. “Now finish eating, I’m walking you home.”

... (read more below the cut)

“This is your where you live?!”

Jungkook stared up in awe at the apartment building.

“Yeah. It’s nothing.” you shook your head. You pushed the little intercom button on the golden doors. “It’s Y/N, can you let me in please?”

“Yes, welcome home Miss Y/N.”

Jungkook was surprised that this place was so secure you had to be let in by someone else. You were dubbed the poor girl at school, he didn’t expect you to live here, even in a tiny house no less. He was surprised to walk into the lobby and see an extravagant gold and white decor on each wall. There was a woman at the front desk who bowed respectfully as you two walked in.

“Good afternoon Miss Y/N! You’re home early!” she said enthusiastically. “Is this a boyfriend?”

“No, he’s just walking me home.” you answered shyly. “Are my parents home?”

“Yes! They just came back from their business trip!”

Jungkook watch this interaction in complete confusion. Rumors had gone around school that you lived in a little sea shack miles away and had to take multiple buses to get to school. But no, that wasn’t the case at all.

“You can go now.” you turned to Jungkook. “Thanks for walking me home.”

“What? Are you stupid! I have to make sure you get to your house.”

“You really don’t, I’ll be fine, I promise.” you waved him off, walking up to the elevators. Jungkook didn’t listen and followed you in. He walked as you grabbed a key-card out of your bag and shoved it into a little slot next to the buttons. You stood in silence, ignoring Jungkook’s stares. When you got to your floor, you took your little key-card out of the slot so the doors would open. Instead of a hallways like Jungkook expected, he was welcomed to a huge living room.

“This is your apartment?!”

“Yeah, it's a bit too fancy…but it's home.” you shrugged. “Mom! Dad?” you called aloud.

Your father was currently struggling with a toaster while your mother was drinking some tea.

“Y/N! You’re home early!” your mom out her mug down and rushed over to you, giving you a huge hug. “Was school let out early?”

“Not exactly.” you looked down. “I left.”

“Why?” you father looked up from his focus on the toaster. “That isn’t like you, young lady.”

“Actually it’s my fault.” Jungkook made his presence known. “I was leaving and took Y/N with me.”

“And who are you?” your mother turned her daggers on him. "Are you tainting my daughter's mind?"

“He’s my friend!” you answered quickly. “He was taking me to the nurse and decided to help me get home.” you lied, not wanting him to get in trouble. "I tripped and hurt my leg and he offered to help me get home." you motioned to the bandage on your knee.

“Oh!” your mother’s face brightened up. “Thank you for taking care of my Y/N! It’s so good to know she has a friend.” she smiled warmly at Jungkook. "She's always complaining about how she feels alone at school."

"Mom!" you whined, gritting your teeth at your blabber-mouthed caretaker.

“Oh..Yes! Of course!” Jungkook bowed respectfully. “I wanted to make sure Y/N was okay.”

“Well that’s very nice of you.” your father walked around to put an arm around you. “My Y/N is very important to us.”

“I can tell.” he looked at you, letting you know that he wasn’t letting this go.

“Im not sure if you can tell but she has trouble making friends” your father whispered. “Don’t hold it against her if she pushes you away sometimes.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

...

"Hey Y/N!"

You suddenly sped up, walking past Sooji and Ella as they tried to wave at you. You pretended to be focused on something- anything else that would make it look purposeful. You didn't want to talk to them, or even look at them after the way they talked about you.

"Yo Dummy!"

That was your cue to try and walk faster than before, you didn't really want to see Jungkook either. But alas, he managed to catch up to you. "What do you want ?"

"Um….listen I don't know if yesterday was some sort of-"

"Yes, that was really my house. No, I'm not poor like everyone thinks, and yes I'm aware that I look very poor." you said in a monotone voice. "We done here?"

"So why have you been letting people bully you for being poor, if you're supposedly not?" he looked confused. "Why would you put yourself through that?"

"Yeah my house is a little bigger than everyone else's. I'd rather pretend to be poor and hated for that than have people pretend to want to be my friend." you explained. "Jungkook…please just keep this between me and you. I'll do whatever you want."

"Who am I gonna tell and what would I have to gain from telling everyone your business, dummy." he scoffed. "It's not my business to tell." You didn't know how to reply to that, so you settled for looking at your shoes. "Hey."

"What?" you looked up at Jungkook. He was shifting from side to side.

"…If you aren't busy after school. Who am I kidding, you probably aren't," he huffed. " Do you maybe want to-..."

"Are you asking me out?"

"Don't cut me off, stupid! I mean…yeah." he sighed. "You owe me for having to look out of for you twice as much!"

"What?"

"Because not only are you clumsy, but now that I know you're being bullied, I have to work twice as hard. Taking extra time out of my extremely busy schedule to protect you!" the way he said it made no sense. You weren't even sure if you wanted to question it either. "So…you're going to go on a date with me."

"Oh." you felt your face head up. "Y-yeah, alright."

"G-good! You're going to meet me after school and w-we'll go somewhere!" he concluded. "and since I'm taking you somewhere, I get to choose where we go! Got it?"

"Yeah, sure…whatever you say Jungkook."

#kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop smut #kpop x reader #hoseok imagines #taehyung imagines #yoogi imagines #jimin imagines #namjoon imagines #jungkook imagines #seokhin imagines #imagines #fluff imagines #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagines #jungkook x reader imagines #jeon jungkook x reader #tsundere jungkook

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freddiesaysalright · 5 years ago

Text

The Most Dramatic Season Ever - Week 4

Summary: It’s your time now! You are ABC’s new Bachelorette and this is your journey! All these men (including our fav BoRhap boys and then some) are competing for your heart! Will you find love? Will you get engaged at the end? Or will you end up heartbroken? Find out, on the most dramatic season ever!

Word Count: 9.5k

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @the-moving-finger-writes, @assembledherethevolunteers, @rose-writes-prose, @queenlover05, @moon-stars-soul, @danadeacon, @deacyblues, @thesundrop, @cupidben, @lostlittlenerd, @delilahmay39, @timmvrphy, @queenmylovely, @loveandbeloved29, @free-pool-trash, @fairestkillerqueenofall, @local-troubled-writer, @babyalienfairy, @littlecarowrites, @allthethingsicant, @im-an-adult-ish, @mirkwoodshewolf, @squishy-gay-astronaut, @sherlollydramoine, @butlegendsneverdie, @dogmom2014 If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: Alright, we are halfway through the season! The drama continues this week on The Bachelorette!

Warning(s): None

Night 1 Week 1 Week 2 Week 3

Week 4 here we go!!!

London was beautiful. You had never been before, so you were eager to explore somewhere new. Plus, you knew several of the guys would be familiar with it. This was an opportunity to see their world. And that was exactly what you planned to do.

The men settled into their hotel suite. It was a large, airy place, with a wide balcony overlooking the city. Then men all gathered on the balcony to take in the view.

“I’ve never seen Big Ben before,” said Mike. “Except in pictures.”

“What are you talking about?” Joe teased. “He’s right here.”

He pointed to Ben, who laughed. “That’s a much bigger Ben than I am.”

Joe then wrapped his arms around Ben in a bear hug. “Well, we’ve got the best Ben.”

“That, we do,” agreed Gwilym, who reached out and pinched Ben’s cheek.

Ben laughed more and flushed. Then all the guys gathered in a group hug.

Of course, Luke was not with them. He was inside, journaling by himself. After everything that happened, he avoided the other men, and they avoided him right back. So, he missed out on the bond that had formed between the rest of them. Despite all competing for the same woman, they had become solid friends.

When there was a knock on the door for the date card, Mike went to go get it. Everyone watched the hallway anxiously. Then, they all heard him release a delighted cry. They exchanged confused looks. Mike returned without a date card, but with something much better. You.

They all cheered when they saw you and engulfed you in a warm group hug. Then they all settled back onto the couches so you could catch your breath.

“Welcome to London, guys,” you said, scanning their faces. “I’m really, really happy with the group that’s still here, and I hope that we can just continue this crazy journey all together.”

“How are you enjoying it?” Taron asked.

“Well, I haven’t gotten to see much, but so far, I love London,” you said. “In fact, I came here today for someone to explore it with me.”

They all watched you, hoping you would say their own names.

“Gwilym,” you said, finding his eyes. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”

“I’d be honored,” he replied, getting to his feet.

You smiled and followed suit, holding out your hand to him. You could see the disappointment on some of the other men’s faces, but you were relieved that they also seemed genuinely happy for Gwilym. Maybe you really could leave all the drama behind.

You and Gwilym waved goodbye and headed out the door. You went out on the streets of London hand in hand.

“I’m gonna let you take the lead here,” you told him. “You live here, right?”

“I do,” he chuckled. “I’m not originally from London, but I live here now.”

“Well, show me around, stud!” you urged.

He laughed again and you were off. Gwilym walked you around almost everywhere that was nearby. He was knowledgeable about the history of everything too. That was one of the most attractive things about Gwilym to you. He was so well-read and intelligent. But it never came off as condescending. He was still incredibly kind and humble as well.

You stopped inside a pub to eat and grab a drink after all the walking. You ordered fish and chips because that’s what you’d always heard in the movies. Gwilym laughed beside you and kissed you on the cheek.

You each had a beer as you waited for the food.

“So,” you said as you sipped. “How are you since we last talked?”

“Very well,” he answered. “I’m excited to be getting to know you better and see where we go from here.”

“I’m excited too,” you said. “Every time I think about our connection, I always feel hopeful.”

“Hopeful?” he questioned.

“Yeah,” you said. “Since you told me your story, I feel like you’re the most hopeful person in the world. What you went through was...unbelievably sad. And yet, you’re still here, looking for love, pursuing it wholeheartedly. It makes me hopeful too.”

He smiled sadly at the glass in front of him.

“I’m flattered by your admiration,” he said. “Losing her - especially the way I did - was the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through. We actually moved to London together from our little town, so coming here with you really is like a fresh start. It’s making me feel like I’m re-discovering it.”

“Is that a good feeling or a bad one?” you asked.

“It’s bittersweet,” he said. “I feel like sometimes, I still miss her so much, and it still hurts like an open wound. And other times I feel like I’m fine.”

“That’s sort of how grief works,” you told him. “Moving on from something like that isn’t a linear projection until you’re over it. You have setbacks. You’re still allowed to be sad and confused sometimes.”

“You’re right,” he agreed. “I guess what I’m trying to say is...despite all of what happened and all the hurt, you have made me hopeful. What I’m feeling for you is something so good that I fully believe that love can happen for me again.”

A smile spread slowly across your face as he spoke. You leaned over and kissed him sweetly, conveying your absolute adoration of that sentiment. Gwilym was so deserving of love, and you wanted to show him that.

Your food came, and you split the plate between you. It tasted amazing, and as you ate the fries, an idea came to you.

“How good is your eye-mouth coordination?” you asked.

He blinked. “My what?”

You giggled. “Like, if I toss you some fries, can you catch them in your mouth?”

“Depends on how well you throw them,” he retorted. “The real question should be how good is your aim?”

“Oh?” you returned, raising a challenging eyebrow.

“Yes,” he said. “And since we are in the UK, they’re chips. Not fries.”

You snatched one off the plate and tossed it at him, hitting him square in the nose.

“Looks like my aim is pretty good there, chief,” you teased.

You threw another, and this time he caught it in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed.

“Okay, we make a pretty good team,” he said through a laugh.

You threw a few more to him, and he caught most. However, when he threw them to you, your catching abilities were abysmal. You blamed it on Gwilym’s arm, and he let you.

It felt really good to sit and laugh with him. You felt like many of your conversations with Gwil were so serious. So to be lighthearted and goof around with him showed you another side of him. A side you were glad existed.

After lunch, you continued to walk around a bit. Then Gwilym stopped at an intersection, tugging your hand to stop you from crossing the street. You shot him a quizzical look.

“Gwil?”

“If we turn right here,” he said. “We can get to my flat in five minutes. I’m not presuming anything by asking this, but would you like to come over and see it?”

You looked down so he wouldn’t see the deep blush creeping up in your cheeks. On any other date, this would have implied sex, but you two were on camera, being followed by a whole crew. You weren’t embarrassed by that. You were embarrassed that you were disappointed they were there. You were really attracted to Gwilym, and would not have turned down that invitation outside of this.

Actually, you weren’t going to turn it down either way.

“Yeah, let’s go,” you said, looking back up at him.

“Great,” he replied with a grin.

God, he was handsome.

Gwilym’s place was humble and cozy. He opened the door and allowed you inside, and you felt like he had just done the same with his heart. Everything about this place screamed “Gwilym Lee.” You walked through the front and into the sitting room, which had aged leather furniture and warm lamplight. The kitchen was smaller than what you were used to in the US, with a vintage look. It was also strictly practical.

Gwilym also had books everywhere. There was a half shelf in the sitting room beside the fireplace. A corner of the kitchen counter was dedicated to recipe books. They were also randomly on whatever surfaces he had set them down on while reading. You pictured him walking around, nose to the pages, glasses on, focused.

He had few decorations, but there were plenty of pictures. Some of his family and friends. But the majority appeared to be of him with his students. Gwilym was a literature professor, and he was clearly dedicated to his work.

“Would you like to see upstairs?” he offered. “There’s something really special up there I’d like to show you.”

“Please,” you said.

You followed him up the wooden staircase to the second floor. There were only a few rooms up here. Gwilym’s bedroom, a guest bedroom, a hallway bathroom, and one more door at the end of the hall. That was where he led you.

He opened the door, and you gasped at the side. Across each wall, floor to ceiling - bookshelves. Fully stocked, too. There were thick, leather bound reference books. Paperback novels. Limited edition classics. Everything you could imagine for a personal collection.

“This is my library,” he said, looking between the shelves and your face.

You wondered if you looked stupid with your mouth hanging open. Gwilym’s eyes shone as he gazed at you. How beautiful you were to him in this moment was beyond words.

“Gwil, this is incredible!” you cried. “Your very own library!”

He smiled. “Take a look around, see what you like!”

You went to the first shelf to your right and extracted a worn-looking book. The spine was damaged so you couldn’t read the title until you opened it.

“Anna Karenina,” you read.

“Ah, that’s quite a special one,” he said. “Very close to my heart. It’s my grandmother’s copy. If you look at the publication date, you’ll see why it’s so special.”

Your eyes scanned the page until you found it.

“1890?!” you gasped.

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “She inherited it from her great-aunt. Because I collect so many books, she left it to me.”

“That’s amazing,” you said.

“Have you ever read it?” he asked.

“I have,” you said. “It’s a tragic story, but one of my favorite classics. This is a real treasure.”

“It is,” he agreed as you returned it to the shelf.

“You’re free to keep looking, if you like,” he offered.

You did. You perused the shelves and spotted another favorite.

“Oh, Summer of Katya!” you said. “I loved this book!”

“Another tragedy,” he said.

“Yeah, but what a wild ride,” you replied. “That plot twist had me shook for days.”

“Me as well,” he said. “A great story.”

“So, how many of these books have you actually read?” you wondered as you set Summer of Katya back.

“All of them.”

Your mouth fell open again.

“All of them?”

“All of them,” he laughed.

“That would take me the rest of my life!” you cried looking around again.

Gwilym watched you as you walked along the shelves, and you stopped to talk about a few more things. A small smile claimed his lips. You stopped talking and met his gaze.

“What?” you wondered. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing,” he said with a shrug. “It’s just...you sort of seem to belong here in my home.”

You beamed. “I like feeling like I belong to the things you love, Gwilym.”

He held out his hand, which you took. With it, he pulled you into his arms and kissed the top of your head. You sort of felt like you belonged there too. Maybe you could. And maybe spend much of your life in this room, picking out what to read next before crawling into bed beside your husband. That would be a rather heavenly way to live.

For the evening portion of your date, you and Gwil met at a bar right on the River Thames. Like usual, it was reserved for just the two of you to enjoy your date. You sat down together and you smiled at him before making a small toast.

After you each had a bit of your drinks, you took his hand.

“I really had a great time with you today,” you said. “I feel like, so balanced with you. We can be serious, we can laugh together, and we can have intellectual discussions too. I feel like I can be every part of myself around you.”

“I’m relieved,” he told you. “And I feel the same. I haven’t struggled in opening up to you, and that's really nice.”

“Can I admit something to you?” you asked.

“In the spirit of such honesty, I’d be surprised if you didn’t,” he teased.

You chuckled and glanced down at your lap before looking back at him.

“When you first told me you’re a professor, I was really intimidated by you,” you said.

“Intimidated by me?” he questioned.

“I was nervous that you were going to think that I’m dumb,” you said.

He pursed his mouth in confusion. “W...why would I think that?”

“Because I feel like…” you trailed off. “I dunno, I’m not the most well-read person in the world, and I enjoy things that in the academic world might seem frivolous or silly. I try to keep up with current events, but I get distracted, and I think that all of that put together I -”

“Hold on,” he cut across you. “Y/N, none of that amounts to intelligence. You don’t have to read every book in my library or know every detail of Brexit to convince me that you’re smart. You are smart. A lot smarter than me in many ways.”

“Thank you,” you said, blushing.

“Can I ask you something?” he wondered.

“Of course.”

“Who told you that you’re dumb?”

You blinked, unsure how to answer him.

“Hardly anybody thinks they’re dumb on their own,” he went on. “Which leads me to believe that somebody, somewhere convinced you of it.”

You blinked again, this time to get rid of the tears welling up in your eyes.

“I...I, uh, had an ex who said that to me a lot,” you answered at last. “Anytime I disagreed with him or tried to address something he’d done to upset me, he told me I was being stupid, or that I didn’t understand anything. So, I kind of just became convinced that I wasn’t very smart.”

“Let me tell you what I see,” he said. “In all my conversations with you, I’ve found you to be not only extremely clever, but also funny, kind, and giving. In fact, my admiration has grown so much that I can finally say…” he trailed off.

You had been forming a smile as he spoke, but when he hesitated, it faltered.

“Say what?” you pressed.

“Y/N, I’m falling in love with you,” he said. “It seems unbelievable that it should happen so fast. But you are exactly the kind of girl I’d like to be with for the rest of my life.”

You smiled so wide, you thought your face might crack. Then you leaned over and took his face in your hands to kiss him.

“Gwilym, I’m so happy to hear you say that,” you told him when you parted. “I feel like we’re really progressing. And I don’t want to stop.” You reached across the table and picked up the rose that was waiting there. “So, Gwilym. Will you accept this rose?”

“You know I will,” he replied, kissing you again.

Gwilym was very much a gentleman when he kissed you. It was slightly reserved, but with enough passion for you to feel how much he wanted to do more. Each move was thoughtful and considerate, just like him.

Gwilym: I really am falling for Y/N. I hate that she’s been with such terrible men in the past. She deserves so much more. I’d like to give her that.

You pinned the rose to his jacket and then you grinned at each other.

“You ready to go?” you asked.

“Go where?” he wondered.

“One of the most iconic places in London,” you said.

You offered your hand. He took it and followed you out. You walked together down the street until you reached it. The London Eye.

“Oh, God,” he sighed. “We’re really doing this?”

“Yes!” you insisted.

You had a whole pod reserved for the two of you. You were excited as you went up, but the higher you got, you also grew nervous. You clutched Gwilym’s hand.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re frightened,” he teased. “You went bungee jumping in the mountains!”

“I was scared of that too!” you returned.

“Come here, cariad,” he said gently, pulling you into his arms once again.

You leaned on him and looked out over the city. The sight was breathtaking. All the lights from the buildings looked like stars. The way they reflected off the river was stunning. You felt like you were looking down from outer space or something.

“This view is beautiful,” you said.

“I like mine better,” he replied.

You faced him and saw that his his eyes were fixed on you instead of London.

“Smooth,” you giggled.

“Kiss me,” he breathed.

You did. This kiss was different. It was deeper, more intentional, more open than your kisses before. Gwilym was fully giving himself to you and this process. To accent your joy perfectly, a fireworks show began over the river. You hardly noticed their colors or the sounds. Everything was just you and Gwilym.

Back at the house, the men were waiting for a date card. A few guys were bemoaning not being with you right now, but were holding out hope for a one on one. When there was a knock at the door, Richard went to fetch it. He returned with a card.

“It’s a group date,” he said. “Joe, Rami, Allen, Taron, Richard, Mike, and Kenny. Are you ready to meet Her Majesty? Ayyyy-yo! Y/N.”

“Ay-yo?” questioned Allen.

“What, like Freddie Mercury?” suggested Rami.

“What would Freddie Mercury have to do with a date, though?” Taron wondered.

“We’ll figure that out tomorrow,” said Mike. “With all of us on this date, that means…”

“Me and Luke are left,” Ben said with a heavy sigh. “It’s gonna be a two on one.”

A two on one meant a lot of risk because at least one of the people on it would be sent home on the date. It made Ben nervous because even though Luke’s behavior was atrocious, you kept him around, so there had to be a real connection there. Also, he was still angry at Luke for starting that stupid drama in the first place.

“I’m not worried,” Luke said. “Y/N and I have overcome a lot and I think that makes for a strong foundation.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Whatever, man. Just don’t tell her any more sh*t you’ve made up about me.”

“I didn’t make anything up,” Luke returned. “I heard what I heard.”

“You didn’t hear anything because I. Never. Said. It.” Ben shot back.

“Neither did I,” Joe added. “But let’s leave this in the past, okay? All any of us can do is focus on our own relationships with her.”

Luke and Ben glowered at each other a moment longer before looking away.

The next day, everyone but Gwilym, Ben, and Luke, got on a bus and headed out from the hotel. Mike, Kenny, and Joe had never been to London before, so they were in awe of the city as they made their way to the unknown destination.

Taron: I feel terrible for Ben and what he’s going to face tomorrow, but I’m also really glad Luke isn’t here to ruin the group date again. Those of us here are actually decent blokes, so I think it’ll be a fun day.

“Is that Wembley Stadium?” Joe wondered, pointing in the direction the bus was heading.

“It is,” said Richard.

The group exchanged apprehensive looks as they were dropped off at the legendary arena and escorted into it.

Inside, on the field, was a stage setup. You stood center stage, smiling at the men. You were wearing all white - a white v-neck tank top, and white pants with a red and yellow racing stripe up the sides, belted at the waist. You also donned a yellow, military style leather jacket.

“Hello, gentlemen!” you greeted as they climbed up the stairs to join you. “Welcome to Wembley Stadium! How many of y’all have been here before?”

Taron, Richard, Allen, and Rami raised their hands. Joe, Mike, and Kenny did not. They were also the ones still looking around, while the others stayed focused on you.

“Well, surely you all know about the legendary concert that took place here in 1985, Live Aid,” you said, and they nodded. “And I’m sure you know which act stole the show.”

“Queen,” said Rami.

“Yep!” you confirmed. “So we’re gonna have some fun today. You’re all going to be dressed like Freddie Mercury and give me your best Live Aid performance.”

Their eyes widened as they looked at you, and you bit back a laugh.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be lip-syncing,” you assured them. “There also won’t be an audience. The person who does the best job gets to talk to me first at the cocktail party tonight.”

“Will you be the judge?” Taron asked.

“Actually, I won’t, I’m just enjoying the show,” you said. “The judges are some very special people who are quite familiar with Freddie.”

“Oh my God…” Rami said under his breath.

You smirked. “Guys, please welcome Queen and Adam Lambert!”

The guys clapped as Brian May, Roger Taylor, and Adam Lambert emerged onto the stage. They first hugged you and then turned to face the men.

Richard: I can’t believe this...it’s f***ing Queen! We’re on a date with Queen! I mean - we’re on a date with Y/N - but Queen is there! I’m blown away right now!

“Hullo, guys,” said Brian with a gentle wave. “We just wanted to let you all know - don’t be nervous. This is meant to be something fun to show Y/N you can come out of your shell a bit.”

“Yes, have fun,” Roger agreed. “Don’t be afraid to make an arse out of yourself. Freddie certainly wasn’t.”

Everyone chuckled.

“So, you guys have fifteen minutes to change and decide on one song from the Live Aid set you want to do,” Adam explained. “You can watch the clip of your choice as much as you want in that fifteen minutes.”

“The costumes are backstage,” you said. “You guys ready?”

They nodded at you.

“Okay, fifteen minutes starts now!”

While the guys got changed and prepared, you and the band went around and checked up on them. You went over to Mike first, who was watching the video of Live Aid and scrubbing through it quickly.

“How’s it going?” you asked.

“Okay,” he replied. “I don’t really know any Queen songs, so I’m listening for something that sounds familiar.”

“You know We Will Rock You?” you wondered.

“I know those words of it,” he laughed.

You giggled. “Well, I’d go for that one, then. It’s second to last.”

“Thank you,” he sighed.

You looked over and saw Rami chatting with Brian. Richard was talking to Roger, and Allen and Kenny were talking to Adam. Everyone was in the iconic white tank top and light wash jeans. They also had the studded armband and mustache. You went over to Taron next.

“How’re you feeling?” you asked.

“I know what song I’ll do,” he told you. “Bohemian Rhapsody. That way I can sit behind a piano for most of it.”

“Nice,” you chuckled. “You play, right?”

“I do,” he said. “Although, as you learned on our Disney date, I’m much more of an Elton John man than Queen. Don’t get me wrong, I adore them, but Elton is more my style.”

“I’d love to hear you play some Elton for me sometime,” you said. “But honestly, now is the time to get out of your comfort zone and show me your edge, Taron.”

“I’ll do anything for you, love,” he replied with a grin.

Then you headed over to Rami.

“Hey, sweetie,” you said as he pulled you into a hug.

When you parted, you had to take a moment. Rami really looked like Freddie for a split second. With the mustache and the clothes...he had even styled his hair. He was getting really into this.

“Woah, you look great!” you said.

“Thanks,” he returned. “I’m really excited for this.”

“I know you’re an actor, so you’re not too worried,” you joked. “Which song did you pick?”

“Radio GaGa,” he told you.

“Good choice,” you praised.

You chatted with Rami for another moment before moving on to Richard.

“Just be grateful we picked Live Aid and not one of our shows from the seventies,” Roger was saying as you approached. “You’d all be in leotards.”

“I dunno, I think I could make it work,” Richard returned with a chuckle.

“I definitely think you could make it work,” you agreed. “How’s it going over here?”

“Pretty good,” Richard said. “I know what I’m going to do.”

“Awesome!” you said. “You a big Queen fan?”

“Massive Queen fan,” he told you. “This is kind of a dream for me.”

“I think you’ve found your man, Y/N,” Roger teased. “This one’s clearly got the best taste.”

You laughed.

The fifteen minutes went by more quickly than you anticipated, but most of the guys seemed ready. There were a few nerves you could feel, but they weren’t too bad. Kenny was up first.

Kenny did “We Are the Champions” and he was pretty good. He clearly knew the words, but he was also nervous and shy. You found that surprising since he was a pro wrestler and part of his act was to put on a bit of a show. You cut him some slack, though. This was out of his element.

Taron was second, and he was better. His performance did come out more like Elton than like Freddie, but he was really feeling the music. You could tell he had wanted to play and sing himself, so he was holding back a little bit.

Mike was third. He did “We Will Rock You” and had a lot of energy, but it was more his own than like Freddie. You didn’t mind, since you liked Mike’s style, but it didn’t bode well for him as far as the competition went.

Allen was fourth, and he did “Hammer to Fall.” So far, he came the closest to looking like Freddie up on stage. He was upbeat and had obviously studied the movements. The only problem was that it came off a little too rehearsed.

Richard went next. He had the same idea as Taron to do “Bohemian Rhapsody” so he wouldn’t have to move around so much. He was even more reserved than Taron. Evidently, he was not much of a performer at all, despite how much he loved the music.

Joe was sixth. He did “Crazy Little Thing Called Love.” It was similar in idea to Taron and Richard, because he got to use an instrument. Joe could actually play guitar, so he mimed it well. Like Mike, he was more Joe than Freddie. Joe wasn’t a shy person at all, so he was still entertaining.

Finally, it was Rami. From the first notes of “Radio GaGa,” you could tell there was something different about Rami’s performance. Every move, every step, every turn was intentional, but looked effortlessly Freddie. It took you off guard. Rami looked the most like Freddie, and with this performance, you were convinced he had a spiritual connection to the man. You looked over at Brian and Roger. Brian had tears in his eyes. Roger was closing his mouth just as you looked. They saw it too. Adam placed a comforting hand on each of their shoulders.

When Rami finished, the whole arena was deathly silent. All eyes were fixed on Rami, who stood breathless on stage, but looking proud. He also looked like...not Rami. That last note rang out, and for a moment, it was as if Freddie himself stood there.

Finally, Roger cleared his throat.

“Well done,” he choked out. “We’ll just need a...a moment to uh, discuss.”

The band walked out of earshot for a moment and you approached Rami.

“I think you shook them up,” you said. “You certainly shook me up.”

He shot you a worried glance.

“In a good way,” you assured him. “Believe me, you were incredible.”

The band returned and appeared to have recovered from their shock.

“Everybody did a fine job,” Brian began. “Just remember to not be so shy. Show Y/N that you can open up and be yourself.”

“This really brought me back,” Roger added. “But one person in particular really captured Freddie’s spirit today.”

“And that person is Rami,” Adam announced.

You let out a cheer and clapped for Rami, and the rest of the men joined you. You hugged him around the neck as you congratulated him.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he said bashfully.

“Congratulations, Rami,” Brian said. “Enjoy your time with Y/N first tonight, and remember to use it wisely.”

Everyone thanked the band for their part, and got autographs before they left. Then it was time for the evening portion of the date. It was still at Wembley, in a private box, which overlooked the field. The stage set up had been removed already, so it was returned to its sport ready look. It was still lit up in the darkness by the stadium lights.

You met the men in the box and gave a toast. Then, you took Rami by the hand and led him out. Also reserved for you was the next box over, so you could have private conversations. You and Rami went in there and sat down to chat.

“You were seriously amazing today,” you told him. “That was like, Oscar worthy.”

He chuckled. ��I dunno about all that, but I definitely had fun. Freddie Mercury is pretty special to me.”

“Why’s that?” you wondered.

“Well, we sort have a lot in common,” he said. “We’re both kinda awkward brown boys from immigrant families, but with a lot of dreams.”

“I can see that,” you said. “You feel that strongly about acting?”

“I do,” he said. “I take it very seriously. I believe in myself, and I hope that someday I can be big enough to win an Oscar. I wanna be like Freddie, where kids who look like me can start believing that they can succeed too.”

You loved that idea and what it represented. The only thing for you was that actors were away a lot, and you wanted to raise a family. With a partner.

“How does that dream fall in with your desire to have a family?” you asked.

“Lots of actors have families,” he said. “I’m already settled in LA, where most of the jobs are, and that’s where I’d want to raise my family. And I’d work with my partner to make sure my schedule didn’t interfere with important things. I know it won’t be easy, but I am family oriented, and I know I can do both. But the last thing I wanna do is settle.”

“Settle?” you questioned.

“I mean, I don’t want to take some safe, nine-to-five job just because I want to get married and have a family,” he said. “I want to pursue my dreams so that my kids will have someone they can really be proud of. Someone who didn’t give up on his passion.”

You smiled. “I like that. You’re a very driven person, Rami, I hadn’t noticed that about you before.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re learning now,” he said. “I am driven and focused and there’s a lot I want out of life.”

You both paused to sip your drinks.

“What about you?” he said. “What are you passionate about?”

“I’m most passionate about family,” you said. “I didn’t really have those connections as a kid. My family isn’t very close. I want that unit, that strength that comes with being together.”

“That’s a beautiful sentiment,” he said. “Is there anything else?”

“Like what?” you wondered.

“Like hobbies,” he said. “Y/N, don’t you have interests besides that?”

“I read a lot,” you told him. “And I like fashion and beauty, but those are just normal girl things.”

“Are you kidding?” he returned. “There’s a lot there to go with. Do you ever design your own stuff?”

You blushed. “I...well, I do sort of have this dream of starting my own clothing label.”

“That’s awesome!” he said excitedly. “Tell me more!”

“Well, I’d want to use all recycled materials so we’re not being wasteful,” you said. “That way it’s like thrifting, but you’ll still get the latest styles. Everything would just be re-designed and…” you trailed off. “Sorry. It’s kind of a silly idea.”

“Not at all!” he insisted. “I think it’s a great idea. Environmentally friendly and everything. That’s amazing, Y/N. Don’t doubt yourself.”

“You certainly help me believe in it,” you replied, all embarrassment fading away at his enthusiasm.

“I want to help you believe in yourself,” he said. “It’s important to me.”

“It is?”

“Yes, Y/N,” he said. “I want to be there for you. I’m falling in love with you and I want to help you see yourself through my eyes.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You grinned.

“You’re falling in love with me?”

“More and more every day,” he assured you.

With that, he kissed you. Rami’s kisses were always deeply passionate and romantic. It made you feel like you two were on the cover of a romance novel or something. You felt like you were in your own romance novel because you were falling for Rami too. He was just so special.

Rami: I really am falling in love with Y/N. I can just see a wonderful future with her as my wife. She’s everything you could ever want.

After Rami, Joe wanted to see you. Your time with Joe went as well as it usually did. You laughed together a lot and discussed the date. He reassured you that he was falling for you. You were tempted to say it back, but hesitated. You felt strongly for Joe, but there was still more to explore there.

Allen pulled you after Joe. You were still holding back with Allen, and you felt that he was too. He had told you more of his story on your one on one, but since then, you hadn’t had a serious conversation. You didn’t feel uncomfortable around him or anything, but there was something more you wanted. Like he was only giving himself partially to this. You wanted him to give everything.

Richard came next. Similar to Allen, he held back from you. He had divulged even less information about himself. Less than any of the other men there. Richard was fun and easygoing, but you wanted him to dig deeper. He just wasn’t going there. You needed to find out why.

Taron followed after Richard. Taron was not afraid of giving his heart to you, and you could feel it ever since that one on one. Every time you spoke to him, the relationship moved forward, in the right direction. You always looked forward to your time with him, and today was no different.

There was a piano in the private box, and Taron made good on his promise to play for you. He began with “Your Song” by Elton John, one of your favorites. His voice was swoon-worthy, and you loved listening. Each time he sang, you pictured him in your house together, singing your kids to sleep or just serenading you before bed. He felt like home to you.

“Life really is wonderful with you in the world, Y/N,” he said as he finished. “It’s becoming pretty difficult to imagine my life without you in it.”

“That’s sweet,” you said. “I’d have a hard time without you, too.”

“Really, Y/N,” he said. “I’m falling in love with you. Hard.”

You met his gaze, heart racing with joy.

“I’m so happy you told me,” you whispered. “You’re amazing, Taron.”

He kissed you. Short and sweet because neither of you could stop smiling.

Mike and Kenny also made things difficult on you because they both told you they were falling in love as well. You felt like all of them deserved roses tonight, but you knew who you wanted the rose to go to. As you all gathered back in the original box, you picked it up off the table.

“Thank you all for an incredible day,” you said. “We got a bit of a rock concert and I got to see you all just have a good time. But I wanna give this rose to someone who really proved himself today. Who showed me something new and moved our relationship forward.”

You found Rami’s eyes.

“Rami, will you accept this rose?”

“I will,” he assured you, getting to his feet.

You pinned it to his jacket as he kissed your cheek. Then, you bid them all goodnight. You were still riding the high of the day when you remembered that the following day, you had your two on one with Ben and Luke.

The date card arrived for Ben and Luke while the rest of the men were at the cocktail party with you. Gwilym retrieved it and read it out loud.

“Ben and Luke,” he said. “I want us to grow. Love, Y/N.”

“Let’s just get this over with,” Ben groaned.

“What, eager to go home?” Luke taunted.

Ben rolled his eyes and went to his room for the night.

The next day, Ben and Luke each placed their luggage by the door. Whoever went home, the producers would come and take their luggage to the airport. The two men were driven by car to meet you in a lovely garden and park. Everything was blooming so it was the perfect time of year for a date like this. You just wished you weren’t dreading it so much. One of them was going home, but you felt like you needed time with both of them. Hopefully today would be enough.

“Hi, guys,” you greeted, trying to sound chipper as they hugged you one by one. “So today, we’re having a picnic in the park. It’s really beautiful here, so let’s have a good day, yeah?”

“O’course,” Ben agreed.

“Definitely,” Luke added.

“Okay, let’s go.”

You led them over the set up that was reserved for you. It was a small table with three chairs around it. You sat first - in between them - and then poured everyone a glass of champagne. The champagne was more for you, really. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife, and you needed to feel at ease. These two had such animosity between them.

“So, Luke, you wanna go talk?” you asked.

“Sure, yeah,” he agreed.

You walked around a hedge to another small table. You took a swig of your drink and then looked at him.

“So, I know you’re not over everything that happened in Asheville, and neither am I,” you said.

“No, I’m over it,” he protested. “Really, I’m not mad at you anymore. I wanna move on.”

“I wanna move on too,” you said. “But I feel like we have to talk about this because this is a disagreement on something fundamental, and I don’t think you understand that.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Like, you were angry at me for taking off my clothes in front of Joe,” you said. “Because of your beliefs, you felt like it was disrespectful. I don’t know any other way to tell you that I don’t share those beliefs and you can’t force them on me.”

“I don’t want to force them on you,” he said. “But I think that you should be more aware of our feelings in this and behave - y’know - properly.”

That familiar anger stirred in the pit of your stomach.

“Okay, Luke, I behaved just fine -”

“Really?” he scoffed. “Getting naked in front of a guy on your first date with him is fine behavior?”

You could have screamed.

“Oh my God,” you sighed. “Let’s get one thing straight, okay? I can do whatever the hell I want. This is my journey, it’s my body, and whatever I decide to do with it is up to me and not subject to your approval.”

“Y/N, I’m just trying to help you,” he said gently. “I prayed about it, and I feel like my purpose here is to save you.”

“To save me?” you questioned.

“You’re being led astray by these other men,” he said. “But together, we can -”

“Okay, Luke, stop,” you said. “We’re not getting into theological arguments today. Clearly, it doesn’t matter to you that I don’t want to hear it. The other thing we need to address is why you lied about Joe and Ben.”

“I didn’t lie,” he insisted. “I know what I heard.”

“But none of the other guys heard it,” you reminded him. “And if they said it out loud, they said it to someone with ears, so they must have heard it. Just be honest and tell me why you did it.”

“I know I heard that conversation, Y/N,” he said firmly. “I’m not a liar.”

“So literally every other guy in that house is?” you challenged.

“Y/N, please,” he begged. “I love you. I want this more than anything. And look at what we’ve overcome.”

“Luke, we haven’t overcome anything!” you cried. “We’re still working this out because you’re not being honest with me!”

“I’m telling you my truth!” he returned.

A beat passed in uncomfortable silence.

“Do you believe me when I say that I love you?” he asked.

You held his gaze. Then you took a deep breath.

“No,” you said heavily.

He looked away, unable to form words.

Ben: I’m kind of nervous about today. She’s kept him around long enough for me to think there must really be something there that I’m not seeing. I just hope my connection with her is stronger.

You and Luke returned to where Ben was still waiting. Nothing else had been said. You grabbed Ben’s hand and led him away next, desperate for some relief. Luke made you feel like every step of this process was such a battle. Ben excited you, and you hoped he still did.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Okay,” you said. “I’m sorry to put you through this, I know it’s not easy.”

“No worries, love,” he said. “You’re worth all of this. Every part of this journey.”

You smiled, and you felt warmth returning to your body. You realized within seconds of talking to Ben that Luke made you feel cold and closed off. Ben made you feel warm and open. That was the feeling you were looking for.

“How are you?” you asked him.

“I’m perfect, now I’m with you,” he replied. “I’m not going to lie, watching the other guys going out with you throughout the week isn’t easy, but I’m here for the long haul. I’m ready to stick it out if it means you and me at the end.”

You leaned into his chest and hummed happily. He wrapped his arms around you. Then he pressed his lips to the top of your head. You felt cared for and respected.

“I can’t tell you how relieved I was that you believed me last week,” he said. “Knowing that you trust me, and you’re willing to hear from everyone, it makes me fall for you all the more. You’re fair and kind and patient. I dunno how you put up with the lot of us.”

You giggled and then looked up at him.

“Well, you’re all so handsome, it’s hard to stay mad at you,” you teased.

“I see,” he joked back. “You’re just in it for the eye candy.”

“Haven’t you heard?” you asked sarcastically. “I’m actually looking for a trophy husband.”

He chuckled. “It’s almost hard for me to joke about, since I actually like almost everyone.”

You smiled. “Really?”

“You’ve got a fantastic group here,” he said. “As heartbroken as I’d be if it’s not me and you, I know you’d be in good hands.”

“That’s so sweet, Ben,” you said.

You felt such a soft affection for him in this moment. That comment made one thing abundantly clear to you: Ben wanted only what was best for you, whatever made you happiest, even if it wasn’t him. You wondered how he’d never been in love before, when he gave it so freely and selflessly. Your value to him did not hinge on your behavior with the other men.

You chatted with Ben a while longer, just trying to forget about what Luke had said. Plus, you liked Ben a lot and enjoyed talking to him. It was quickly becoming more than liking him, which scared you a little, but you knew he would be there to catch you once you fell. You were still teetering on the edge.

Your decision was made when you returned to where Luke waited. There was no need to give him any more chances. You didn’t trust him anymore, and you had such different beliefs, it never would work out. You sat down and picked up the rose.

“I’m gonna be perfectly honest and say that this was not a very difficult decision for me today,” you said. “So far, this has been the easiest decision I’ve made.”

You looked at Ben and decided to get right to it.

“Ben, will you accept this rose?”

You heard Luke suck in a soft breath as you and Ben stood up. You pinned the rose on him and hugged him tight. Then you looked at Luke.

“Can I walk you out?” you asked.

“Yeah, okay,” he said, still dazed.

“I’ll be right back,” you told Ben.

You and Luke walked together toward the car that was waiting to take him to the airport. Ben heaved a relieved sigh and sat back down with a wide grin on his face.

Back at the house, Joe was closest to the door when he heard it open. The producer was there to take the luggage.

“Guys!” Joe yelled. “It’s happening!”

The rest of the men rushed to the door to find out who it was. They watched with bated breath as the producer’s hand stretched out and grabbed Luke’s luggage. They all roared with delight and began jumping and hugging each other as the door closed again. Luke was leaving at last!

“Hold on, let me get champagne!” Gwilym cried, jogging to the kitchen.

They all followed him, still laughing and congratulating each other. Gwilym handed out the glasses and Joe stood on the counter to make a toast.

“To Ben,” he said. “For getting that f***er out of here at last.”

“To Ben!” the others echoed before taking a drink.

“And to Y/N,” Rami said. “For making the right choice.”

“Y/N!” they cried, and they all downed their drinks.

Back on the date, you walked Luke to the black van waiting for him. You stood outside the door to let him say something.

“I just…” he trailed off. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m sorry, Luke,” you said. “We’re just too different. We have different beliefs, different values. And we couldn’t move past those things.”

“But I love you,” he said.

You shook your head. “I don’t think you do. I think you love the woman that you want me to be. The version of me that you created who does take part in your faith and share that with you. But that’s not who I am.”

“I…” he lost words again.

“I really am sorry,” you said. “I hope you find that person.”

“Thanks,” he said dully.

You opened the door for him. He slid into the seat. You closed the door and watched the car pull away. You were certain you had done the right thing. Luke was so wrong for you in so many ways. But you meant what you said. You were sure that girl was out there somewhere for him. But he was not for you.

You hurried back to Ben and leapt into his arms when you saw him. You kissed him as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“It’s just you and me tonight, baby!” you cried.

“Thank God!” he returned.

That night, you and Ben went to a fine restaurant and had a wonderful dinner. It was similar to your one on one, where the conversation flowed. You talked about serious things and lighthearted things. Neither of you brought up Luke again. Ben looked as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

After dinner, you walked around nearby and saw a street performer playing the cello. The melody was soaring and beautiful. Ben spun you into his arms and began to sway with you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and stood with him, heart full. He opened his eyes to meet yours.

“Y/N, I’m falling in love with you,” he said simply.

You saw how much he meant it in those beautiful green eyes of his. Tears welled up in yours. You were no longer teetering. You slipped right off the edge.

“I’m falling in love with you too,” you returned, without thinking.

You were not supposed to say “love” to anyone but the person you got engaged to, but you didn’t feel bad about breaking the rules for Ben. He had shown you today how much you meant to him. And he meant that much to you too. If you weren’t with him at the end of this, you wished only for him to have a happy and fulfilling life. You genuinely hoped he was at the end of this though because you weren’t ready to let him go. You weren’t sure you ever would be.

The following day, you once again decided to cancel the cocktail party. You knew where your heart was, and you didn’t want to drag out the whole night when your mind was made up. So when you arrived at the hotel, you were ready.

The hotel had a lovely ballroom on the first floor where you were having the rose ceremony. You walked in and forced a smile. This was going to be a pretty tough one. Two men would be leaving that you really liked.

“Sorry again for the cocktail party,” you said. “But I really am just trying to follow my heart.”

You waited a beat before picking up the first rose. There were only four.

“Joe,” you called.

He walked forward proudly.

“Joe, will you accept this rose?”

“I will.”

He returned to the group. You picked up the next rose.

“Taron,” you said.

He beamed at you and jogged up.

“Taron, will you accept this rose?” you asked with a smile, since his was contagious.

“Of course.”

You pinned it on him and he walked back over. You saw Richard take a deep breath.

“Richard,” you said.

He exhaled before walking over.

“Richard, will you accept this rose?”

“Always.”

As Richard returned to the group, Chris Harrison walked out.

“Y/N, gentlemen,” he said. “This is the final rose tonight. When you’re ready, Y/N.”

You picked up the rose. You found the man you wanted to give it to.

“Allen,” you said.

You saw the relief wash over him as he approached you.

“Allen, will you accept this rose?”

“I certainly will,” he assured you.

He walked back over to the group. Mike and Kenny looked dejected, and you understood why. It was never easy.

“Kenny, Mike, I’m sorry,” Chris said. “Take a moment, say your goodbyes.”

They took a while to say goodbye to the guys, which did sort of make you feel good. You liked that the remaining men were friends.

Kenny came up to you first.

“I’m sorry,” you said, suddenly choking on the words. You weren’t sure when the tears started. “You deserve so much -”

“Don’t, Y/N,” he said gently. “It was a pleasure getting to know you.”

You nodded and he pulled you into a hug.

“You’re gonna be amazing,” he whispered to you.

With that, he left and headed to the car waiting for him. Mike came up next. You actually sobbed. Mike was such a wonderful man, and you hated that you weren’t there with him.

“I’m so sorry,” you sniffled.

“It’s okay,” he assured you with a smile. “You’re beautiful and strong, okay? I know you’ll find your happiness.”

“You will too,” you replied softly.

He reached over to wipe away a tear with his thumb.

“Good luck, Y/N.”

He too, departed.

The remaining men moved forward to engulf you in a group hug. While you were sure of the decisions you had made, you hated to hurt people, and both Kenny and Mike had told you they were falling for you. But you couldn’t get there with them, and it was terrible. They were great guys. You just knew they weren’t right for you.

“So,” you said, fanning your face a bit. “Next, we’re going to -”

“Y/N!” someone bellowed from the lobby of the hotel.

Your brow furrowed.

“Is that…” you trailed off, eyes going wide with horror.

Then he appeared in the doorway of the ballroom.

“Luke!” you cried. “What are you doing here?!”

“I’m not giving up on us,” he said, marching toward you.

His body language looked dangerous. Joe was closest to you and you reached for him. He immediately caught on and wrapped his arms around you, placing himself between you and Luke.

The other men stood in front of the two of you, not allowing Luke any closer.

“She sent you home, Luke,” said Richard darkly. “You can’t be here.”

“I just wanna talk, Y/N,” Luke said, ignoring Richard and trying to look around him. “Y/N, please! I just wanna work this out!”

“Well, I don’t!” you returned. “Just go!”

“I know there’s something here!” he insisted. “There’s gotta be! Don’t give up!”

You peered at him around Joe’s arm.

“No, there isn’t!” you shouted. “You’re scaring me, Luke. Just leave.”

He moved forward, but Ben placed a hand on his chest.

“Not a step closer,” Ben warned.

“Just stay out of this,” Luke spat.

“She asked you to leave, Luke,” Allen said. “So go.”

“No, I’m not giving up,” Luke said.

“Oh, my God,” you whispered into Joe’s chest. “Oh, my God.”

Joe lowered his lips to your ear. “Don’t worry. We’re not gonna let him anywhere near you.”

“This is just crazy,” you went on. “He’s acting crazy.”

“Y/N, please!” Luke continued to plead.

Chris Harrison at last approached, accompanied by security guards. Chris went directly to you.

“What do you wanna do, Y/N?” he asked. “Do you wanna talk to him?”

“No!” you insisted. “I want him to leave!”

“Okay,” Chris said. He turned to Luke. “Luke, it’s time to go.”

The security guards stepped toward him, but he stepped away.

“Wait!” he pressed. “Wait, Y/N - just - please. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want me here. That’s the only way I’ll believe it.”

You met his gaze with a scowl.

“I don’t want you here,” you said venomously. “Get out.”

He sighed, shoulders sagging. Then, he straightened up, turned on his heel, and stormed out. You hoped that was the last you ever saw of him.

“You alright?” Joe asked.

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.” You looked at Chris. “He did actually leave, right?”

He nodded. “We made sure of it.”

You took a deep breath.

“You wanna tell them where we’re going next?” he asked.

You let yourself smile, even though you were still a bit shaken.

“Yeah,” you said. You addressed the men. “Guys, we’re going to Killarney, Ireland!”

Allen whooped and pumped a fist in the air. You laughed. You knew he’d be excited to be back home in Ireland. But the rest of the guys seemed excited too. You gazed at them in awe. It was hard to believe that you had already narrowed it down to seven guys. Seven incredible guys. You couldn’t ask for more.

That night, as you packed in your hotel room, you heard a knock at the door. For a moment, you feared Luke had come to speak to you again, but you told production you didn’t want him near you. Still, you peeked through the peephole before answering. The man behind it took your breath away. You thought your eyes were playing tricks on you. It couldn’t be! Could it?

You opened the door apprehensively.

“Jamie?”

To be continued…

129 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

Text

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: [is gonna rock up late despite literally living with Charlie so enjoy the entrance everybody]

Joe: [when you weren’t invited but still gonna show up like you have somewhere better to be, love that for you, the effort we’ve not gone to because we live here so it’s kinda okay but not really Joseph, also I imagine kinda shook she ended up showing]

Ronnie: [likewise in the sense that she dresses the same everywhere she goes unless it’s a job interview or court appearance lol but we know she looks good if you’re Joseph and into it, I imagine her zoning in on Jamie immediately like who the fuck is this and then oh I’ve heard nothing about you kinda energy soz gal]

Joe: [rude but not untrue in this case, at least Charlie can make it seem like you’re joking and Joe can go get you a drink like soz this is all we have energy ‘cos in jokes]

Ronnie: [I highly doubt they have enough seats around that table so I also imagine her dragging up something to sit on like yeah I’m here to stay bitches and drinking Joe’s drink while he’s gone as a throwback to when she did when they met at that gig and cos we’re obvs claiming him LOL]

Joe: [we know the food is gonna be studenty anyway so having smaller portions won’t kill any of us lmao, just dying at how shocked Sophie is having to conceal she is, host on queen, boring boyfriend having no opinions of course]

Ronnie: [don’t worry gal depending how much of a jealous rage we get into we probably won’t be eating it so you’ll still have brownies left, her face would be iconic and I totally picture Marc on his phone the entire time because Paul used to do that when he was with Trace]

Joe: [giving nothing to this bizarre situation, too real, Charlie and Sophie holding this together, soz guys, Joe jus amused af, do we sit opposite or next to hmm]

Ronnie: [read that as soz gays, ILY mum & dad, I think he needs to sit opposite Jamie so that she can accuse them of eye fucking each other or whatever so probably next to]

Joe: [okay yes gather ‘round everyone]

Ronnie: she lives here

Joe: yeah I told you, Silent Bob’s gf

Ronnie: you said he had a bitch not shes been chained to the radiator since youse lot moved in

Joe: maybe that’s his secret

Ronnie: whens he letting you have your go

Joe: got my own radiator you can have a go on when this is over

Joe: not to brag or nothing

Ronnie: wont be over til the fat flatmate sings & the other one sucking you off while her & mariah duet and the boyfriend pretends he aint watching youse instead is fuck all to brag about

Joe: be lucky if it got close to that level of mildly interesting

Joe: where are you in all this then

Ronnie: under the sink looking for drain cleaner or whatever else i can drink

Joe: why do you get to have all the fun?

Ronnie: i dont waste my time asking bullshit questions

Joe: how are we gonna waste our time

Ronnie: im gonna kill your shared girlfriend & youre gonna cry about it

Joe: I don’t think I am

Joe: no amount of tragedy is gonna breakthrough the chemical fog

Ronnie: you would if you could

Joe: [🙄 at her]

Ronnie: [tips however much is left of her drink into his lap not at all accidentally but we know Charlie and Soph will pretend it was]

Joe: [whip them off to go get changed boy]

Ronnie: [when you wanna follow him but you just gotta glare instead]

Joe: [probably taking whatever we’ve got in to make this go easier, ‘scuse us, so much missing out]

Ronnie: [you know she turned up already on something so do what you gotta do Joseph]

Joe: [Jamie should be talking to you about uni things thus alienating everyone else a lil ‘cos that is a bit rude and will annoy you gal]

Ronnie: [fully just opening up a wound over here literally cos she was already jealous but did not realise they had this much shit in common or anything in common actually so we’re just livid and bleeding]

Joe: [Sophie just running with the kitchen roll like omg do we have bandages guys like oh babe you truly only mean well, Charlie just giving the can you not looks of it all, Joe just jealous because we’ve obviously got our long sleeves]

Ronnie: [a spoken out loud fuck you at everyone but mainly Joe as we go to the bathroom to not deal with this but instead evoke the energy of when Mae downed that mouthwash because she definitely would and also go through the cabinets for anything sharp obvs]

Joe: [at least you can go under the guise of checking on her but really you’re just seeing what she’s doing]

Ronnie: [1000% have not locked the door because we wanted him to follow us but that won’t stop her telling him to get out because walking contradiction forever]

Joe: [locks it behind him in response]

Ronnie: [the most intense glare in response because could not be more livid rn]

Joe: [grabbing wherever the wound is like we’re gonna kiss it better or something like Soph for a casual bit of blood drinking]

Ronnie: [obviously have to push him away really hard because we’re obviously really into it and excuse you boy we’re trying to be angry and hate you, soz to all the flatmates when you hear that crashing about]

Joe: [lmao this tiny bathroom getting destroyed, steady yourself and her despite that clearly not being what she wants right now, roll up a sleeve ‘you never did the X’]

Ronnie: [the glorious visual of trying to get past him to leave/push him away again at the same time in a small space so you just end up pressed up against each other and the door making eye contact and it’s hot af ‘you never took me anywhere’]

Joe: [‘so let me’ do you mean let’s get out of here or in a saucy way either or you skinny as hell girl so if you not really trying to leave it’s easy not to let you]

Ronnie: [‘she’ll let you’ because we’re not just dropping this even if we want to]

Joe: [‘who?’ like an oblivious boy ‘cos clearly not where our head is]

Ronnie: [a really vicious read of Jamie based on what we’re learned this evening that I’m not gonna do because I am not that mean but it’s obvious it’s her and not Sophie we’re talking about, hope you don’t hear us gal]

Joe: [‘I’m not interested’ in every sense right now ‘and you know that, stop pissing about’]

Ronnie: [‘wasn’t any other cunt round the table hanging on her every fucking word, I know that’ because that was blatant Jamie]

Joe: [‘I can’t help it that her fella’s an accountant’ what do you do Marc, do any of us know lol, shrugs ‘we go to the same school, that’s it’ and a look like whatever the fuck this is is clearly more]

Ronnie: [she would wanna lol but we can’t because still mad ‘that’s it?’ not actually a question though more like you better be telling the truth boy ‘why the fuck have you never told me about her then?’]

Joe: [‘I thought I had when I said he had a girlfriend’ not not a lie ‘none of them are what I want to talk about, that’s it’]

Ronnie: [‘you were thinking with this’ grabbing his dick when we say so ‘that’s it’ cos even if that was true Joseph we shade the rest of the flatmates often and you know damn well we love doing it]

Joe: [shakes head even though we are very clearly into that ‘she’s no Soph’ like it wouldn’t be as funny soz]

Ronnie: [‘is right’ like yeah I know you actually seriously wanna get with her, and moving away but not to leave but to pick back up whatever implement we were gonna hurt ourselves with before he came in but didn’t get chance to because we’re genuinely upset]

Joe: [literally putting ourselves in front of it like no ‘Ronnie’ like I don’t know how you’re going to even put it into words boy so it’s mainly a !!! look]

Ronnie: [a look that starts out like don’t try and stop me/fuck you but turns into !! when his does like say something/do something if you mean it]

Joe: [got to go in and kiss you whilst making her push whatever she was gonna use on herself into him, now or never, enjoy the tension finally getting released]

Ronnie: [obviously we’re kissing you back so we all know what’s gonna happen next lol, soz flatmates I really hope you can’t hear anything, especially Charlie cos you actually know they’re related]

Joe: [it is not a big flat so keep quiet, just think he’s comforting her for all this time or what, god bless]

Ronnie: [she would be trying to keep quiet but not for y’all more so he thinks she’s unimpressed/not that into it but that would literally last all of a second because she’s obviously very into it]

Joe: [the levels you aren’t gonna wanna go back in but can’t be seen as being romantic lads]

Ronnie: [I could easily have her leave if we want though because it’s a fact that she doesn’t wanna be here and everyone would be relieved except Joseph]

Joe: [that probably makes sense, honestly, and you’ve freaked them all out, as was the point]

Ronnie: [and lbr you’ve freaked yourselves out with how good that hook up was too so]

Joe: [just go hide in your room like you’re very taxed by that in an acceptable way boy]

Ronnie: [god knows where you’re gonna go gal but please don’t OD again like you literally did in Margate no time ago]

Joe: [the headfuckery]

Ronnie: [poor Charlie just like UMMM WTF cos she must look bad even for her rn and we’ve behaved terribly and then literally legged it so]

Joe: [thank god you’re such a natural party go-er so you can make up some excuse to put them all at relative ease but yeah, for sure like excuse me]

Ronnie: [might be fun to do a convo between them when we’re done with this one]

Joe: [I’m down even though I really haven’t used him yet, I’ll give it a go]

Ronnie: [yeah it’s been forever since we did the group chats with them and Bronson and Bea it feels like another life, I can send you the convo we did where she told him she met Joe if you like cos I re-read that the other day and it was pretty good]

Ronnie: [but the real question is who’s gonna break first and start a convo and how long are we leaving it?]

Joe: [please do ‘cos did not realize we’d done that tbh]

Joe: [I could make a case for either of them, him to prove he meant it as he left it last time but her so she can’t automatically be on the ‘it meant nothing’ total defensive hmm]

Joe: [some hours later when the party is over, or could be]

Joe: Charlie was going pub, he’s left here though

Ronnie: [even later because whatever she’s doing she’s messy and can’t reply to the extent that she doesn’t need to because he won’t be expecting her to and yet here we are]

Ronnie: did whitney ask you to pass it on to us cos hes still disappointed like

Joe: couldn’t say

Joe: just letting you know that you’ll have a free gaff for a while longer

Ronnie: where have i chucked the other one for the sake of this free gaff in your mind mckenna

Joe: alright, free rooms better than fuck all

Ronnie: its his emmy oggie i aint there either

Joe: anywhere good?

Ronnie: compared to what

Joe: established it’s no brag compared to tonight

Ronnie: not gonna stop you comparing me & her

Joe: compare to what?

Joe: pleasantries over cocopops

Ronnie: youll be interested in eating her out now youve got what you wanted off me

Ronnie: 9 is easier to carve than an 8 and you wont look like youre trying to copy the infinity sign one of your other exes wouldve got inked on her

Joe: it’s not remotely the fucking same

Joe: if I was arsed about getting my numbers up there’s millions of girls in this city I could hit up before you

Ronnie: yeah youre not related to any of em and theyd have less clue how to shoot up than you do

Joe: even if the related bit was ringing 100% true, you’re the only user in town now?

Joe: you don’t have to pervert it when it already was

Ronnie: youre already romanticising it like a fucking 13 year old so yeah i do cause one of us has to get real

Joe: you reckon I’m so okay with it just because I can admit I wanted it

Joe: who do you reckon you’re lying to like I weren’t there

Ronnie: who do you reckon youre talking to like i didnt fucking leave you there for a reason

Joe: Fuck off

Ronnie: i did

Joe: for someone who reckons they’re so open, you chat so much shit

Ronnie: open to what soft lad infection

Joe: scars and trackmarks on your sleeve

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: you didn’t miss much

Ronnie: no shit you didnt just invite me cause you wanted to fuck me

Ronnie: can do that anywhere

Joe: yeah and you didn’t just wanna come to make Soph cry, like

Ronnie: i owed you

Joe: get it off your to-do list then

Joe: well done

Ronnie: stop crying youll never look as ugly as horse girl doing it or go for as long as her

Joe: you love her, we all 👀

Ronnie: i said shut up

Joe: no, you say something that’s not stupid

Ronnie: what for fucks sake

Ronnie: what did you reckon id say when you started chatting shit like nothing happened

Joe: alright, I don’t know

Joe: it happened, right

Ronnie: you werent hallucinating

Joe: nothing that makes that happen in the bathroom cupboard

Joe: I don’t regret it, I know that

Ronnie: meant to be made up to hear it am i

Joe: nah, probably not

Joe: but you wanted me to talk about it so I am

Ronnie: i wanted you to take the fucking hint when i legged it as soon as

Joe: you could’ve blocked me, so

Joe: pardon me for not taking it that seriously

Ronnie: not your crazy ex & i couldnt deny you your bullshit heroics

Ronnie: mary aint carrying me anywhere and i know how bad you wanna see me turn blue

Joe: you like having a stalker, is what you mean

Ronnie: block me and get your whore flatmate to tell you what she likes about you

Ronnie: weve established i aint got the talent to sing no cunts praises

Joe: we’ve established I’m not interested in that

Ronnie: cause you want me to tell you how smart you are at fucking me instead of beat the shit out of you

Ronnie: it wont last

Joe: familys forever, sis

Ronnie: not to your ma baby

Ronnie: did i look enough like her for you

Joe: what do you reckon

Joe: your theory, not mine

Ronnie: mustve youve still not fucked off

Joe: you’ve got room for another face tat or two

Ronnie: go do that then

Joe: you can leave out the yes sir

Joe: not my fantasy

Ronnie: no shit like youve been my bitch since you hit send on facebook

Joe: 😂

Joe: I’ve been worse

Ronnie: you trying to turn me on or what its a bit late for it

Joe: just the once, alright

Joe: bit cliche but probably for the best considering

Joe: very sensible of you

Ronnie: cliche that my da didnt stick around long enough for his side of the family to properly cut or sew me up so ive gotta regret not getting chance to put a razor blade inside me before you 💔

Ronnie: now youre gonna reckon i care youve said the once ll do when i just hate you & hate how you fuck even more

Joe: Could’ve said it was about as much fun as

Joe: it’s alright

Joe: both confused, clearly

Ronnie: youre not confused youre fucking smug

Joe: hardly another achievement for the fridge door

Joe: what’s to be smug about

Ronnie: probably for the best i dont answer that if thats how you feel

Joe: come on

Joe: aside from proving you were full of shit about not wanting to as well

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: you don’t want me to say how I really feel

Ronnie: making me cum earlier dont mean you know what i want now

Joe: right, you want me to declare my love so you get more out of telling me to fuck off, that’s more like it

Ronnie: do i fuck

Joe: then what do you want

Ronnie: like you give the slightest shit

Joe: I do too

Ronnie: no you dont

Joe: I fucking do

Joe: [prove it in a way only y’all would, carve her name or something]

Ronnie: [send him your own pics of the bite marks you’re covered in which is a self harming thing you’ve not done since you were a kid because it’s been a headfuck every second since you two met and we’re not coping honey]

Joe: you hungry?

Joe: you didn’t eat fuck all, I mean

Joe: could get something not dubiously prepared by Soph

Ronnie: hungry as you are funny

Joe: I weren’t trying to be

Joe: on the spectrum, or whatever you said

Ronnie: you wish you had the excuse or the musical prodigy status

Joe: 💔 about that genuinely

Joe: just a dickhead

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: I don’t know what to say

Joe: there’s no point saying I’m sorry

Ronnie: no point is right youre not sorry

Joe: nah

Joe: it’d be lovely for you if I’d found you and you were fine

Joe: but like you said, it ain’t about me or her, it’s about loads of shit and you clearly weren’t so

Joe: just seems pointless

Ronnie: im made up you finally got your head round it

Joe: Yeah well, I didn’t tell you I was a good person

Joe: don’t mean I don’t give no fucks, just ‘cos I ain’t trying to save you

Ronnie: you keep telling me you aint like it matters to me who you are

Joe: yeah, it doesn’t in why you’re fucked

Joe: but what do you want from me

Ronnie: its your fucking fault im like this climbing the walls same as when i was a kid

Joe: yeah ‘cos you were doing really great before weren’t ya

Ronnie: all you give a fuck about is letting yourself off the fucking hook

Joe: Blame me then what does it change

Joe: do something about it other than fucking yourself up, I don’t care

Ronnie: stop lying that youre bothered if your only answer to me losing my mind is that i was before

Joe: I can’t help you

Joe: If you thought I could, though why the fuck you would

Joe: then I am sorry

Ronnie: 💔🖕

Joe: I’ve got my own problems

Joe: if I had any solutions, I’d light ‘em up and shoot them into myself first, naturally

Ronnie: youve got a solution i gave it to you

Ronnie: why the fuck would you make me feel something

Joe: Selfishness

Joe: pure and simple

Ronnie: on your way to a grown up habit im dead proud

Joe: what more could I want

Ronnie: that to scab over seeing as youve finally admitted its bullshit

Joe: I still think about you constantly

Joe: I still want to know everything about you

Joe: I’d rot with you

Ronnie: youve got your own problems to think about

Joe: yeah, and that’s hell

Joe: I’ve done plenty of that

Ronnie: yeah and youve got your escape

Joe: take yours

Joe: can have plan bs and cs even if a is the best

Ronnie: youre the kid who tells the rest to jump off a bridge

Ronnie: cute

Joe: you’re implying I wouldn’t and all

Ronnie: i dont give a shit what you do but i aint giving you the satisfaction of being the last fuck i ever had

Ronnie: youd cling to life long enough to write a pathetic song about it

Joe: that’s the nicest thing you’ve said

Joe: which is saying something ‘cos you’re so sweet, like

Ronnie: youre welcome

Joe: I’ll do a Dylan style ballad about all your 👼🏼 deeds

Ronnie: thats the biggest turn off out of everything youve ever said or done

Joe: thank god, you’re insatiable 😏

Ronnie: once you said

Joe: not for my benefit

Ronnie: its all only for your benefit remember

Joe: if that were true you’d still be here

Ronnie: if it was true i could be

Joe: come back

Ronnie: cant ive got a face tat to get done

Joe: I understand

Joe: my art isn’t there yet

Joe: won’t ruin your beauty

Ronnie: go ed and chuck yourself off a bridge you dont have to wait for me to boot your door in & do you in for chatting shit

Joe: well I am already devvo I’m not a prodigy so yeah, add lack of a steady hand to the list of failures

Joe: probably the meds

Joe: you know being poetic is all I do, why have we downgraded it to chatting shit 💔

Ronnie: why are you calling me beautiful when you could write it in your suicide note for your ma theres your downgrade

Joe: you’re too romantic for your own good

Joe: I wouldn’t be writing a note, sorry to dash your illusions

Ronnie: not me saying i get you mckenna thats your delusion

Ronnie: what are you gonna draw on me then

Joe: you do but it’s more fun to take the piss and pretend you don’t so

Joe: That is the question

Joe: won’t brand you, don’t worry

Ronnie: if i dont want it ill cut it out no pressure

Joe: it’s just skin right

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: how olds your oldest scar

Ronnie: older than you

Joe: what did you do

Ronnie: i used to take headbanging literally

Joe: ah, the floor never saw you coming, yeah

Joe: I have a head scar too [cos he either does or did on the stalker show idk but there we go with a photo like she probably knows hun]

Ronnie: [I just imagine her smiling to herself like yeah I know nerd]

Ronnie: cant both be poets had to express myself somehow before i pushed a safety pin through my cheek

Joe: that explains the permanent 😾

Joe: fucked the muscles, like

Ronnie: your shit jokes do

Joe: it was always easier to just start fights to get hurt

Joe: when I was a kid

Joe: though you work out ways to be sneaky fast, if you have to

Ronnie: they didnt wanna fight me

Joe: everyday sexism strikes again

Ronnie: fuck off not cos im a girl

Joe: why then

Ronnie: wouldnt be me getting hurt and if i was i didnt care

Ronnie: all those mental problems you told that call centre cunt about like

Joe: ‘course you were too proud to make it count

Joe: have to let them get some punches in or there was no point, yeah

Ronnie: no point in fitz flouncing in either fun though

Joe: true

Joe: I’ve got a brother and all, I remember what it’s like

Ronnie: scraps never went far enough

Joe: yeah

Joe: most kids aren’t that psycho

Ronnie: 💔

Joe: being misunderstood served me so well for the whole musician thing so whatever, I guess

Ronnie: i mightve bothered keeping some of my bastards about if they were guaranteed nutters thatd serve you well

Joe: you’d get your own room then, like

Joe: even if you had to pack them to the rafters

Ronnie: for a stalker youre dead concerned about my privacy

Joe: nah, ‘course not

Joe: I’d rather have a place to do the gear without the possibility of Soph or Charlie 🥺ing at us obvs, nothing but selfishness

Ronnie: theres loads of places

Joe: you can show me

Ronnie: is she there now she can let me in

Joe: no idea

Joe: their room is near the door, makes sense they’d be your first victims

Ronnie: youre too selfish to get off your arse and do it

Joe: if you’re coming I’ll carry you in myself, you know that

Ronnie: ill be there and youll still be going on about what youre gonna do

Ronnie: no wonder the other kids kept smacking you

Joe: yeah, all mouth me, deffo what I was known for

Joe: not a euphemism and I don’t think they were wishing it was but who knows

Ronnie: you sure you dont want charlie giving you the eye

Ronnie: how it sounds

Joe: I’m alright, tah

Joe: pretty sure he’s over it now I’m enabling you

Ronnie: hes over everything thats not horse girls from kent but reckons the fucking lost causes are us

Joe: He clearly just gives a shit about appearances

Joe: looking nice, polite

Joe: they’ll never speak again, like

Ronnie: forget him

Ronnie: open the door

Joe: [do that boy]

Ronnie: [boop his little head scar as you come in like oh there it is]

Joe: [‘s’not even a good story’ and producing some takeaway moment from the kitchen as you go through ‘cos the dinner party was not heavy on the dinner bit]

Ronnie: [a look like ffs because people caring in any way ew no but we are gonna eat it because probably haven't since that Margate moment]

Joe: [shrugging like bitch I’m hungry as we tuck in, obviously]

Ronnie: [kick him while you've still got your big boots on but playfully not aggressively]

Joe: [😏 but in a more genuine way than that cocky face looks, I am vibing Chinese not that that matters but there we go]

Ronnie: [weirdly I also thought that maybe because it's one of the grossest haha but yeah eat your food lads]

Joe: [greasy greasy goodness, love the subtle shade if any of them come out for a cuppa or whatever like oh hello again lol]

Ronnie: [I hope it's oblivious Marc just living his life]

Joe: [that’d be most amusing, unbothered, casually]

Ronnie: [I just imagine them doing stuff to try and make him notice like when people stack stuff on a sleeping person but idk what you could do in that little kitchen]

Joe: [for sure, just being subtly annoying/weird and he is just like does not compute ‘cos we mind our own business, so childish]

Ronnie: [love that for you two]

Joe: [we stan the regression for you]

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cirilee · 5 years ago

Text

i just found a text my browser had saved on a word count website, and i apparently typed it last november while being sad - i just wanna have a place to post it, and it explains why i was gone for most of may through november last year.

if you’re interested, u can read, it’s basically just a long long long vent and i wanna save it somewhere :’)

(and if you wanna, you can tell me what u think of the whole thing, maybe share if something like that happened to you too, because man, this whole thing was WEIRD for me)

bottom line is: i’m much better now and have way better friends then back then and in general, i’m a pretty happy person again^^

My parents and me had been fighting a lot the past years. I still love them. For a while though, it was just shouting matches between us. We weren't really speaking to each other throughout january 2019 until april 2019, so i wasn't informed by them that they were planning to mOVE OUT. And the place they wanted to move to only had enough space for 2 people. now my brother and me had 3 months total to find and finance our own flats. i was desperate. 2 months i unsuccessfully searched for a job or a flat or a way to make a deposit for said flat, without any saved up money. an old school friend offered to move out together. i only saw him once every month for group activities. he was nice, but we also had a bit of a history. 3 years ago he had acted kinda scummy and tried to get me to be his girlfriend because "he couldnt find anybody else” - ending in a "movie night with friends" that turned out to be a trap, where the only one spending the night was me because he only invited me. creepy. he apologized and i forgave him and we were chill and it was normal between us. i realize now, that i should have just left him out of my life at that point. but time was running out, so i gave in and asked myself "whats the worst he could do. i’ve known this person for 12 years and the he's part of my friend group" we set up basic rules, how we would pay for stuff, etc. .. we moved in. it seemed fine. then i noticed that he talked A LOT. and he wanted A LOT of attention. after a day of working on my diploma or working at my job, he would assert himself in my room and try to engage in smalltalk. i am not the hermit type. i engaged with him, i joined in on his conversation. but when i was already tired he wouldn't accept "i'm gonna go to sleep". there was always something else he needed to talk about. I was trying to make clear to him that i needed alone time too, but no matter how honest i was, the message either didn't seem to stick, or he'd get upset and start asking me if i hated him. With that, i could have kept up with in the long run. Then he started knocking on my door. even when it was already late and i already told him i was gonna go to sleep. Repeatedly knocking on my door. At some point he just opened the door. It was 1am. I pretended to sleep. I could hear him breathing, it sounded angry. He eventually closed the door. The next morning i confronted him. He argued it away as him trying to warn me that he was going to take a shower, so that i wouldn't use the bathroom. He started commenting on how i wasn't funny enough around him. in that friend group, i'm the funny one :c. but i cant keep up that energy 24/7 (this was supposed to be a home, not a free neverending standup act, for this one guy). that confused him. the next day he asked me if i had depression. My parents had given me a griller/toaster as a parting gift (there’s a backstory for that too but anyways) my flatmate ALSO had that same toaster. He demanded we make up our minds which one to keep. i didn't understand why this was important to him and i hated discussing this useless topic with him so i stored the toaster in my room. He repeatedly suggested i throw mine away (?). One evening i got hungry and decided i'd make myself a toast in my room. So i made some toast. Suddenly he bursts in. And he starts ranting. "why are you doing this are you CRAZY you cant TOAST in your own room thats DANGEROUS you're gonna start a fire, don't ever do that again, we have a KITCHEN for that. why don't you want to use the kitchen you cant just HIDE from me every day, this is OUR flat and i want us to live TOGETHER!" He didn't stop talking and it overwhelmed me, so (this is embarrassing, but) i actually started crying and i turned away from him so i could try to control myself. and he just started babytalking me "awww its alright i didn't mean to scare you, but you see, you shouldn't have done that". he tried putting his arms around me, i told him to stop. "you need a hug right now" ...... i was so angry i think my brain might have short circuited because the next hour was me just acting the whole way through. i told him everything he wanted to hear. i was so sorry for almost burning the house down and made up some explanation that my parents were still making me sad, so i needed distance. The next big thing involved one of my best friends. she wanted to spontaneously go out for an evening. so i put on some pants and of course: HE appears in my room, asking where i'm going. i was surprised by the question and just answered "going out with Lina" he left it at that. then suddenly: "can i come too?" He threw me off with that question. Lina had said she needed some advice on personal stuff, so I said "no" because i didn't have a better answer. he got ANGRY. i explained. "Lina wants some privacy, i'm sorry" He starts arguing that Lina is just as much his best friend, and that he should be allowed to hear what she wants to say to me. Before i can reply he slams his door shut. "Don't even try to explain yourself", he says. I told my friend while meeting up with her and she began with the sympathetic "you should have said yes" and we argued about it and then she came out with this absolutely horrifying sentence: "you know how he is. you cant be *too* honest with him. he's sensitive. you need to lie to him so he doesn't get mad" it was as if i'd been splashed with cold water. i said i didn't agree with that. that that was actually unfair to HIM. nobody likes being lied to and treated less than. she called him, told him i was gonna apologize and he showed up with the angriest expression i ever saw in his face. he accused me of being depressed and that he now has the burden of my mental issues to bear. This he assumed because one night i told him about me dissassociating sometimes a few years ago. Then he wanted me to promise i would never leave him, because he's afraid i won't be able to pay my part of the rent. the crowning moment was my friend Lina mostly agreeing with him and both of them berating me for not having my life together because i still hadn't managed to find an open-ended contract job, only limited-time jobs. at the end he justified himself by saying he cant stand my parents phoning me. (at that point they had started calling me everyday and showed genuine concern ... i was trying to reform a bond with them) - apparently he resented that. he knew about my parents disciplining me with face slaps as a kid (when i was 9-11 yrs old) (they feel bad about it, and they they stopped doing it fairly early) in that moment my flatmate chose to tell me ..... (hoo boy i need to get ready to type this) .... "i'm concerned about you. if your father would ever beat you, i would beat him to a bloody pulp" then he repeated "i would beat him/kill him" a few times, VERY agitatedly. it was scary and at that point i was numb. i didn't really respond, i just said "its fine" or something to that extent. the thing that made me decide to move out (although certainly among many that followed that night) was this: one morning i informed him i was going to visit my parents that weekend. we had started talking again (as i mentioned before and i wanted to meet them without fighting for once). he says "but you're coming back, right". i say "of course don't be so nervous". i go to work. i get a LOT OF texts from him suddenly. i skim through it. he's mad about me calling him "nervous". i don't reply/read bc i am at work. Then he actually CALLS me. i don't pick up. now i'm thinking: What is so important, that he has to call me during work. there's a 4 paragraph essay in my inbox. "watch your mouth", "you have no right to speak that way to me", "you should have more respect". he was mad i called him nervous. i responded that i don't have time to reply. he argued back. at one point i said "if i cant even call you nervous then i'm ACTUALLY gonna stay with my parents" he fiNALLY didn't reply to that. after a 10hour day i come home. i wanna shower. i go to my room, close the door and start undressing myself. of course, there's knocking on my door. i say "No" he flips out. i calmly tell him i'm only half dressed. he flips out even more, says i'm a horrible person who WANTS to fight because my "no" wasn't a good enough answer and i should have explained in full detail why he couldn't get in. he was actually SERIOUS. this was his reasoning for flipping out. he goes away. not even a minute passes by and he hammers his fist against my door again. "OPEN UP THIS TIME I *HAVE* TO COME IN" at this point i'm beginning to get kinda scared so i say "come in" He comes in and says he needs me to disconnect with the wifi because he needs it for his work. i calmly say "ok" and disconnect my wifi. he goes away, leaves the door open. i stand up to go and close my door. HE ACTUALLY GOES AND PULLS AGAINST ME TO TRY TO PRY IT OPEN AGAIN. eventually he lets go and then he flips out FOR REAL. he starts screaming about how i'm a psycho, and that im crazy and awful and he has been nothing but nice and that he "saved" me and i haven't been thankful enough.

.... ..

yes, i was in a difficult position. but that flatmate arrangement was made on even ground. he had wanted to move out from his parents for years. i fled and left. called my parents, but they were miles away and laughed it off. i would have probably too. i called my friends. Lina offered to come and mediate. He continued screaming even with Lina there. It culminated with him roaring at me, pointing at the door saying "if you don't like how i treat you, there's the door, leave right now" with lina replying "don't say that, you NEED her money to pay rent!" it was awful, and an eye-opener. the next day, on the way to work, i decided i was gonna move out. and before i could tell him, i get a message from him (!). An ultimatum. he tells me i have 3 options. 1) leave immediately and take my stuff away within a week. i wouldn't have "pay any more than i've already payed" (it was the first day of that month and i had already payed my rent. nice) 2) stay for half a year, but immediately pay him something so that he knows i'll stay 3) stay indefinitely, but set up a " bevahiour contract" with him, so this "never happens again" i told him i'd take option 1 and then i stayed over at a friends house. then at a friends shared appartement. then at dormitary and soon i'm gonna move in with my younger brother. we've been estranged a bit but grown closer through this whole thing. now Lina and him are still friends and lina blames me for "everyone in our friend group" being mad at him. one of her first concerns, was that her birthday parties are gonna be weird now. i am completely done with her as well and don't want her in my life anymore. according to her, I left him with a rent he cant pay and i should feel bad for that. except i dont. should i though?

#vent #rant

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