#genuinely dont know how to explain it i was on the phone and i was like oh i think im gonna stand in the sun for a bit give me a sec

[violentdevotion]

today on my sunset walk around the park there was a bright patch where the sun just looked so appealing and i stood there for a timed minute with my eyes closed in the sun and when I opened them the grass looked so much greener

[gothghostiie]

cw: glory hole, handjob, Oral (reader giving), deepthroat, spouse!reader, gn!reader

The boys have been.. frisky. on edge. and Price noticed. they're pent up, not able to go home, very little to no privacy due to missions and just a lot to do frankly. the tension grows and Price knows he has to do something. so he calls his spouse.

nobody even notices when you come on base. the boys don't realise, of course john helps you sneak in. it's not really hard to sneak past the three of them, they're so up in their heads these days. john sounded desperate on the phone. He was genuinely worried about them, and what kinda spouse would you be if you refused to help your husband? so now you're there, sitting in his lap in his office while he explains what he wants you to do, caressing you all over and placing gentle kisses on your skin.

"you don't have to, by any means love. but if you want to.." he trails off, his eyes wandering over your face, nothing but love for you in his eyes. "I'd set it up, they won't even know it's you. 'less you want them to, that is." he gives your ass a squeeze, making you chuckle. he watches you closely as you think, before giving him a nod.

"okay. I'll do it." he smiles brightly, pressing a kiss to your lips.

"you're so good to me." he hums. "get comfy in here, I'll organise everything." he sits you on the small couch that he's fucked you on countless times by now before heading out. the boys wonder what the hell he's doing, why on earth he's clearing out the supply closet by his office - and more importantly why the fuck he's drilling into the door with that hole saw.

"he's finally gone mad." soap mutters as they watch him from afar, no matter how much they have to do, theyll always have time to question what the hell the old man is doing. Price glances over at them and chuckles, shaking his head as he smoothes the edges and tapes them over with duct tape.

"go get washed up you muppets. can smell you from here." he orders, if theyre gonna be using you they better be clean. "now!" the three men huff but decide to humor him, going to the communal showers. all three of them are tense and pent up, balls looking full and heavy. price almost wishes he could watch them, but he pushes the thought down. instead starts lining the closet with some pillows and blankets; puts a few more because the ones that come on the bunks aren't very soft. he puts a few bottles of water, some towels too, and a plushie he got on his last mission, that he meant to give to you once he got back home. no time like the present.

ge gets back to you, giving you some spare sweatpants and a shirt so you dont get yours dirty, doting all over you to make sure you're fully okay. even carries you to the closet and sets you down inside, kissing your head. "safeword?"

"red. orange if I need a break." he smiles lovingly and caresses your face.

"good. i love you."

"I love you, john." with that he gently closes the door and locks it. you have a spare key to get yourself out, but he doesn't need his boys to try and open the door. once he makes sure you're settled, he radioes them. he knows one of them always has their walkie talkie or in ear on them.

"Muppets. Get your arses over here, now. don't keep us waiting." the boys look puzzled. us? they know they have to go find out. so they go, finding price with his arms crossed next to the closet. they look at him like he's crazy.

"Cap, what's going on?" Kyle asks, price smirks.

"Lads, I've noticed youve been.. pent up, recently. i get it, i truly do. you lot are young and still full of energy, eh?" he teases, the boys frown in confusion. "anyway.. got a little something for ya. to help you relax." he knocks on the door - the boys freeze as they see your mouth through the small hole. its just big enough for each of them to get their cock through while keeping you hidden. Price chuckles, sticking his fingers through the hole, demonstrating as you suckle his thick fingers. "go ahead. don't be shy now." they hesitate, before Soap steps forward.

"is that..?"

"a glory hole, yes." Soap gulps softly. he's seen this happen in porn but this? he looks at price who gives him another nod before unzipping his jeans, already rocking a semi. he blushes slightly as the others snicker, scowling as he slowly shoves his cock through the hole. he waits impatiently, heart racing - before he feels your hands wrap around his cock, stroking him. he gasps, hips already trembling as he has to grip the door handle for supoort, it only gets worse when you wrap your lips around his thick tip. he grunts, leaning his forehead against the door. it doesn't take him long when you start bobbing your head, taking him all the way into your mouth, tongue running along his veins, suckling just enough for it to feel almost a little painful - just like he likes it. curses like a sailor when he cums, even louder when you swallow around his cock, only then letting him pull out once you do. he pants, trying to get himself dressed as he stumbles back.

Price chuckles. "you okay lad?" he pats soaps shoulder, then ruffles the sweaty mohawk, the man can only stare at the door in awe.

then kyle steps forward. he's a bit unsure still, even after seeing johnny get his soul sucked out, but he's definitely not letting that opportunity get to waste. getting his cock out and giving it a few strokes as he walks up to the door, shyly pushing a bit more than his tip through the hole, you chuckles softly. he feels his face heat up but holds still, hand still wrapped around the base of his cock and pumping the back a bit, unintentionally squeezing when you run your tongue over his tip. swollen lips wrap around the head of his cock, sucking gently and using your tongue, essentially making out with it. the moan that escapes his lips is anything but manly, eyes shut tight as he bites his lip to hold more back. "christ- feels fucking incredible.." he hisses, you smile around his cock, it makes him chuckle. he pushes in a tiny bit more, you double your effort when you taste the precum on your tongue; soon enough followed by his actual cum. he groans, riding out his orgasm until he's spent, letting you milk him for all he's worth. pulls back with a semi, some cum still dribbling from it as he smiles in satisfaction.

price rubs his back gently, whispering a word of praise to him that almost makes him wanna use the glory hole again right away.

but ghost is already in front of the door, eying the hole quietly for a good minute before he speaks up. "put your mouth to the hole. and open wide." he orders in a quiet tone, not wanting to scare you away. you swallow the water in your mouth and do as you're told, wishing you could see his pretty face right now. simon unzips his pants, his cock hard and heavy in his hand as he pushes through the hole and into your mouth, until his pelvis meets the door. he groans, knowing hes deep in your throat, the soft gagging confirming it. "hold still f'me, yea?" he mutters, before finally moving his hips, thrusting at a slow pace for now. he moans softly, the sound full of relief and pleasure, it's rare to see him like this. his hips soon speed up, making the door rattle slightly by the force of his muscular hips slamming against it, in and out of your poor throat. you gag softly, gasping for breath but not pulling back, you know how badly he needs this - and you really want to keep hearing those sweet moans, even if it's not for much longer. he holds out the longest, hold still when he finally releases in your throat. his eyelids flutter, eyes rolling back, making prices semi twitch slightly. only when you pull back to gasp for air he pulls away too, stepping away and dressing up.

its quiet between the four for a moment before kyle finally speaks up. "Cap?"

price looks at him, making a soft "hm?" sound.

"who the hell is in there?'

[r1elle]

hskt — a. miya

doing trends with miya atsumu was most definitely not for the weak.

“babe, yer’ totally rainin’ on my parade here. i ain’t that bad, ya know!” the blonde huffs, eyebrows furrowed as he watched you walk over to your phone, wearing a face that indicates that this wasn’t the first time you had (frustratingly) gone to pause the red button on your screen.

atsumu didn’t think he did so horrible . it’s just some little dance trend, how bad could he have messed it up?

however, the sour look on your face completely betrays whatever justification atsumu is— or, was, trying to go for.

“this is our 5th try, ‘tsumu!” you huff, your arms going over to your hips. atsumu merely returns the energy, brushing his hair back.

“‘m a volleyball player, not some frilly nutcracker ballerina!” he sulks, almost offended at your genuine annoyance towards his uncoordinated dance moves.

seriously—how does he manage to serve balls going hundreds of miles per second, but can barely figure out the timing on some simple dance ?! (it’s literally just head, shoulders, knees, and toes!! and some little spin!)

to at least preserve the cordiality of your relationship, you decide to calm down— once again showing him the video that you’ve both been using as inspiration for the past six minutes, (you’ve probably given it a hundred more views at this point) for the sake of your rhythmically impaired boyfriend.

after another round of explaining things, the timer finally sees the light of day.

apparently, going on 2x speed was all that atsumu needed.

— some time not long after��.

“hey, babe?”

“yeah?”

“why didnt we kiss in the beginnin’ of that trend? look, this couples doin’ it.”

“well everyone does it differently, i gue-“

“redo.”

“eh?”

“i want a redo.”

“but—“

and this time, you can’t help but wonder if his “mistakes” really were mistakes.

kinda sad that i didn’t concoct some beautiful 30k wc fic over my 3 month absence ( ; ω ; ) i havent wrote all this time so this bummy short drabble will have to suffice for the meantime :(

who else still loves miya atsumu (not Me I hate (love) that Stupid stupid stupid Boy)

if you don’t kneow the hskt trend and you’re single and don’t have a pringle Dont bother searchinf it up👎👎 not a 100% single ppl friendly Trend.

[ohmy-gojo]

making them food (early relationship) ෆ : gojo, geto, ino

gojo ⁠♡

– we all know this man loves sweets

– but he often gets stomach aches bc the store ones are unhealthy (also bc he inhales them all the time)

– so you decided to make him homemade sweets one day which are both healthy and tasty

– after a long mission he returns home and was exhausted. he just wanted to shower and then cuddle you

– but you were nowhere to be found which is weird bc you always greet him when hes back

– thats when he smelled something yummy...and sweet?! (dont know how he cld smell sweets)

– immediately follows the smell and finds you taking them out of the oven

– when you explain that it was for him he literally said "marry me"

– he meant it genuinely bc?? a girl making him sweets bc its healthy homemade?? do you prefer ruby, diamond or gold rings? or all of them?

– dramatically cries and says he loves you so much.

geto ♡

– I think he isnt a picky eater at all bc he has to swallow curses all the time

– so whatever you make him, he will enjoy it

– swallowing curses makes him feel gross and icky

– so you decided to help him out by making him mini macarons he could carry with him on missions and remove the gross taste of curses

– when you gave him the cute box with a ribbon on it he was confused when he saw macarons in it. he loves them but it was so random

– when you explain the reason why you made them, he was so touched

– you caring about him and spending your time making him those made him realize how much he adores you

– kisses and thanks you with so much love in his eyes

– now he gets excited everytime he has to swallow curses so he can try your macarons lol

– gojo tries to steal them once and faces getos wrath (start of his villain era fr)

ino ♡

– ino always bought his meal from outside/ordered takeouts

– its not as if he doesnt know how to cook but hes not really good at it and doesnt have the time

– so one day you woke up early in the morning and made his favorite for breakfast when you slept over at his place

– when he woke up he saw you laid out yummy dishes for him, even placed a flower on the vase and make the setting more adorable

– even though he was overjoyed he was also a little confused and said it was not his birthday today

– "do i really need to do something for you only in your birthday?" you chuckled

– if you thought this man was not a simp for you before, well now you will see

– his reaction is worse than gojos lol

– jumped on you and couldnt stop kissing you and the flurry of thank yous coming out of his mouth. had tears in his eyes too bc no one has really done something like this for him before :(

– you had to remind him that the food was getting cold in order for him to leave you

– after breakfast you gave him the bento you packed for him for lunch

– this time he really cried.

note: i was supposed to do higuruma too but i have 2% charge on my phone😭 bye

[erwinsvow]

i’m definitely projecting BUT i genuinely feel like shy!reader would have wavy hair and be so insecure about it (even tho it’s so pretty) so it’s always straightened but i just know if rafe saw it he’d fall even deeper in love with the girl!

oh 100%. lets project together angel why not. if you dont have wavy hair pls look away im sorry. but i do have wavy hair that i straighten all the time so ! you sent this to the right bitch

your hair, though you've been told so many times was pretty either way, is usually straightened several times a week, if not daily. it's easy to fall into the trap of preferring it sleek and shiny than the waves that were pretty for the first day, frizzy the next, and somehow constantly clashing with the outfit you selected for the day.

you thought straight hair was easier, looked better, went with everything. even if it wasn't true, you had bought into it for long enough, your blowdryer and flat iron your two best friends.

the first time rafe met you, your hair had been straight. it was that way on your first date, as well as your second and third, as well as every sleepover at tannyhill or early morning drive to watch the sunrise at the beach. he'd never seen your hair any other way, not realizing there was, in fact, another way for it to be seen, until today.

you and rafe had spent the first hour of the morning rolling around in his bed at tannyhill, working up a sweat, which then was washed off in the shower together. rafe gets out first, listening to his phone ring repeatedly in the distance. you finish up, washing your hair and turning the water to the hottest setting now that rafe wasn't there to complain.

when you walk back to rafe's room, he's on the bed, still on the phone. you try to dry yourself off and get dressed without giving him too much of a show, settling for one of rafe's old frat shirts and using another shirt of his to start drying your hair. he looks at confused, but you don't say anything, knowing he's still on the phone. you need at least a minute to explain cotton t-shirts and scrunching to him.

rafe finally hangs up the call with barry while you rummage through your overnight bag, realizing your flat iron and blow dryer were left behind on your bathroom counter, a result of finishing up your hair for your date yesterday.

"is sarah home?" you ask, looking up at rafe.

"don't think so. and didn't i give you a towel? why's my shirt on your head right now?"

"i forgot my hair stuff at home."

"oh," he says, walking back to his dresser and returning with something in his hand. "here." he hands you a hairbrush.

"what am i supposed to do with this?"

"you said you needed hair stuff. uh, you're welcome."

"i have a brush, rafe. i meant my dryer and my iron. do you think sarah would be mad if i used hers? is that weird, though?"

he didn't think it was that serious, but you look more upset by the second.

"what'd you need that shit for? we're not going anywhere until lunch. it'll dry by then." you stand up, taking the hair out of his shirt and trying to salvage whatever waves remained.

"i wanted to wear it straight for the club, though. my outfit, it looks better with straight hair-"

"huh?"

"and i didn't even detangle or use that conditioner, it's all at home. ugh." you keep scrunching, going to the mirror and taking a look. rafe follows behind you, eyebrows knitted in confusion while he takes a piece of curly hair between his fingers. it's pretty, the way it falls around your face and certain pieces are curlier than others. you look pretty like this, though he's sure you look pretty any which way.

"how come i didn't know your hair's like this?"

"um, i like it flat. do i have to go to the club like this?"

"i like it. s'pretty. c'mon, leave it."

you turn to face your boyfriend. like everyone else, he's just saying it to be nice.

"will you take me home to grab my stuff? please?"

"if you really want it, kid, but i think you should leave it," rafe says, bringing his hand up to your hair, stroking the pieces by your face, twirling a wave around his finger. "c'mon, for me?"

you hesitate, looking up at your boyfriend.

"but i wanna look nice for the club."

"the fuck are you talkin' about? you always look nice."

"but it's not as nice. it's messy. i like it-" rafe interrupts you, bringing his hand to your jaw the way he always does, squeezing tight but not too tight.

"stop. it looks nice. stop overthinkin' it. got it?" you nod. "s'nice. you should wear it like this more often."

"sure. whatever you say."

"that's right."

[hwaseonghwasworld]

ATEEZ reaction to you shedding your skin

Request from: @yasmin-choi

Hongjoong

You had the camera ready and set, he walked in seeing you peeling something off, he stepped closer and sees it and jumps in shock “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” you look over at him with a straight face “it’s my monthly peel” “THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN” you kept trying to compose yourself every time he reacted “every month i have to shed my skin, it’s like the first layer” he just in utter shock seeing you peel your skin, you were giggling as you finally confessed “baby I’m just joking it’s a peel off mask” the whole time you were creasing thinking about his reactions.

Seonghwa

You put the peel off mask on your face chest and arms, you were doing a video talking about you having your ‘monthly shed’, seonghwa slowly walks in seeing you peel your skin and he steps closer to you not knowing what to do or say, his mouth hung open, you look over at him as you peel it off “can you hold this please?” You had apart of your ‘skin’ in your hand wanting him to hold it, he steps back still keeping quiet as he just watches you.

Yunho

He walked in on you in the bathroom as you prank him “what are you doing?” I look over at him as I peel it off “my skin is shedding” he looks genuinely interested but also I concerned “why is it doing that?” I look at him with a straight face “it happens every month” he walks closer to you “does it hurt?” I look over at him and I giggle seeing how interested he is with it “no it doesn’t, it’s like dead skin” I say ad I was trynna come up with a lie “oh okay… do you want me to help?”

Yeosang

“Alright guys so unfortunately it’s my monthly shed” He walks pass you as you explain to the camera about your ‘monthly shedding’ he looks over at you after you say the last word “what is on your face…” he walks up to you and looks closer “it’s my monthly shedding” “is that skin?!!” He puts his hand on your face and immediately took it off making you laugh.

San

San walks in and sees you peeling your skin he starts screaming for you acting like he’s the one in pain “what are you doing!” I look over at him still peeling the skin “why are you peeling your skin off!?” “It’s my monthly shed” he repeats what I said still lost and scared for me “yeah I do this every month” “like a SNAKE?!” I look over at him and tilt my head looking at him like ‘are you serious’ “you girls do this every month?!” I nod and he just watches the scared while I peel my skin.

Mingi

He walked in on you taking a peel off mask and looks at you confused “what are you doing?” He looked at you in utter shock, so you decided to prank him “it’s my shedding day” he got scared and walked closer to you “HUH?! ONLY REPTILES SHED” you giggle and look at him “no it happens right after my period” he looked concerned for you “does it hurt? Does it happen to all girls” I smile finding this funny “yeah, some girls get it on their arms and legs too but I only get it on my face, it’s like a new skin.”

Wooyoung

You were both in the car and you had your phone set, he walked in and you peaked the peel off Mask off of your face making it look like you were peeling your skin off, you even put some foundation on it to make it look like real skin, as soon as he walked in he almost fell out of the car “BAE WHAT ARE YOU DOING” “it’s my monthly shedding” he starts shuddering not knowing what to say “W-W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN MONTHY SHEDDING YOU DONT DO THIS” I look at him holding in my laughter, composing myself “don’t act like you don’t know, I do this once a month” “SO YOU’RE A REPTILIAN” I look over at him “are you gonna help me or….” “NO”

Jongho

You were in the bathroom and he walks past you and watched you peel your skin off “is that your skin?” You nod and carry on peeling, he just watched you the whole time smiling but in a disgusted smiley look, you turn over to him and smile “don’t snakes shed their skin?” “Yeah, why?” “Does that make you a snake?” I glare at him and hit his arm and he just laughs and walks away, that’s how you knew for sure that he didn’t fall for the prank.

Masterlist

[uracutieraka]

awkward

I know you hurt me, but (hey) This is more than a friendship

✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

Iwaizumi Hajime x F!reader

Tw! Smut(ty-ish), mutual pining, being used (or so reader thinks)

✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

synopsis ; Hajime heard rumors about you, and since you were his close friend from childhood, he obviously has to go out of his way to see if they're true.

✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

it's your third year and obviously that means rumors are still being spread by any and everyone who enjoys gossip.

this time the rumor was about you.

"She's been with over 5 of the guys on the volleyball team"

"She's had 15 boyfriends from what I heard."

A bunch of bullshit really.

You had never been with anyone.

At least that's what your life long friend Hajime had thought.

But now that he's thinking, the past year you've been really strange and distant.

Disappearing and reappearing at odd hours of the night, to strange locations.

Hajime only knows this because he has your location, naturally, he's your best friend, he's got to watch out for you however he can.

At least that's how he explained why he needed your location to you anyways.

You on the other hand, had found an interest in photographing run-down and nearly abandoned parts of your home town.

Sneaking around at 2:30 in the morning made it easier to get into these odd, sleazy places.

That was until a few weeks ago when a group of boys from the school caught you walking around a risqué club chatting with a few older men who you knew from your first year when they were third years.

And that's how you ended up in this situation.

4 large men towered over you, spouting off a jumble of questions.

“How come sawaka says he saw you mingling up with some shifty old guys at a strip joint?”

The tall dark haired boy, issei, asks. His arms are crossed and hes giving you a near parental eyebrow raise.

“W-what?” You stutter out. Genuine confusion on your face.

“You heard him! Now answer!” The tone of oikawas voice almost sounds like a whine from a child more than a demand.

“Gah! You guys dont control me!” You gather up your things and stand.

“And just where do you think youre going?” Makki now opens his mouth, but you know hes just antagonizing the situation, he probably couldnt care less about whatever you got up to in your own time.

“Away! Forever!” You say dramatically, leaving the classroom to enjoy your lunch elsewhere.

That night your phone rings, around 12:30 am.

Your eyes look up from your notebook that youd been doodling in for the past 4 hours.

Answering it a gruff voice speaks out

‘Can i come over? We need to talk.’

Iwaizumi seems upset.

‘Yeah of course, ill meet you down the street.’

10 minutes role by and you make it to the little park down the street from your house, just as Iwaizumi arrives.

He looks good, he’s starting to fill out and looks more manly than ever.

“Hey…??” You say in a questioning manner. You couldnt tell how he was feeling right now and then pit in your stomach was growing ever since he said those words.

“Your parents are still out of town?” He asks making his way past you to start the walk back towards your home.

“Yeah, for another 5 days i think? Who knows.. hah..”

Smooth, jackass, real smooth.

“Ah! Thats lame, i dont know how you stay home alone all the time like that.”

The mood lightens a bit with his goofy tone coming out slightly.

Hajime had always been the more serious one out of the two of you but that was never the case when it actually came down to being just the two of you.

He always was cracking jokes and acting like a fool, just to get a smile from you.

“Yeah, me either, i just stay up in my room now, i guess.”

“Seems boring.”

“Eh.” You shrug your shoulders, unlocking your front door.

You two make your way up to your room, not before raiding the kitchen for snacks and drinks first though.

This felt normal.

Like old times.

You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you two had hungout like this.

Over the past year you had drifted away from him, only because you couldnt help yourself.

Your once innocent thoughts about the boy youd grown up with had started becoming more and more…colorful.

The way his hands looked when writing, all the years of volleyball had definitely done good things for the man.

His arms were veiny as well as his hands.

His shoulders were broad and made him looks 10 xs more masculine than he already did.

Not to mention his voice had significantly dropped and his voice cracks had almost completely disappeared.

He was becoming a man and you were becoming a woman. And women have needs.

So instead of being selfish you separated yourself from him.

“So, you wanted to talk?” You ask, shoving a handful of popcorn in your mouth, sitting crisscrossed facing him on your bed.

He shifted to sit criss cross to face you now.

“Yeah, about the stuff going around school. You know, the things people are saying about you.”

“What about it? Its not true. If thats what youre wondering.”

“I mean- i didnt think so but…” you cut him off before he can say anything else.

“But you just had to figure it out for yourself?”

You knew him too well.

You saw something in him shift, a sudden energy overtook the room, one you hadn't experienced before.

He looked at you, "Yeah. You could say something like that."

"What do you mean?"

The way he looked back up at you after you had asked that sent a warm heat through your body.

"I mean, I've seen your location, why are you running around dirty parts of the city in the middle of the night? Are you really down there...doing things?" He seemed upset for second but then became stern again.

"Things? Like what? Partying?"

"I guess."

"No.," you sigh rolling your eyes as you lift yourself off the bed, reaching for your laptop. "I've been doing photography of the nightlife and shit."

He takes the laptop from you when you offer it to him, clicking through the hundreds of photos you'd accumulated over the past year.

After a bit of silence he speaks up.

"Wow, y/n, these are," he looks up at you and gives you a huge smile. "amazing! Holy shit dude! Why didnt you tell anyone about this?”

“Because i wanted it to be my own thing that i do for myself.”

He hands you back your laptop and you close it moving to set it on your desk.

A sudden change in energy yet again settles around your room.

Hajime is looking at his hands fiddling with his thumb and index finger, youre re-situating yourself on your bed when you look back up at him.

You know third year is coming to an end, which means he’s going to California soon.

You open your mouth to speak to him.

“I got into UCLA.” You say confidently.

He now looks up at you eyes wide.

“What?” He asks, wondering if maybe he misunderstood.

“I couldnt just let you go to the US without me. That wouldnt be fair y’know!”

He lifts off his side of your bed and tackles you down in a hug.

Positioning himself to hover above you now he has a giant grin on his face.

One only youve ever seen, hes goofy, and totally a sports nerd, well mannered, and sweet. This is a side of him only youve ever gotten.

“Youre not pulling my leg are you?” He give you a near-disappointed face.

“No. Im serious.”

“Ok.,” His eyebrows furrow and he turns his head for a second, a blush spreading on his face, with a huff he looks back at you. “Im…im glad youre coming. And im glad youre not out partying and getting with other guys.” He looks more serious than before.

“Other guys?” You raise a brow at him.

His face gets even redder than before.

“Well, yeah. I just figured you knew that i liked you….”

“You just ‘figured’ that i knew that you, hajime, liked me, y/n? And how exactly would i have figured that out?”

He rolls off of you now laying next you looking at your ceiling.

You’re nervous. He likes you? The guy that you’ve spent your entire life with like you…back?

“I dont know. The guys said it was obvious so there was no way you didnt know.”

You give him a blank stare into the side of his head.

“You are the biggest idiot i have ever met.”

He now looks at you, you can see him visibly shrink in on himself.

A few moments go by and you turn your head back to look at the ceiling.

“I love you.”

He sits up turning to look at you laying down.

“I love you.”

You sit up and your guys faces are so close you can see the faint scars on his face from all the roughhousing over the years.

Hes looking at you blankly, unable to comprehend that you might actually love him.

You roll your eyes at him. Knowing exactly how hes reeling in his own head.

“Im not lying, i love you.”

He gives you a raised brow.

You huff and lean in closing the distance.

He kisses you back, his hands snaking up around you, under your tshirt.

Hajime had been with a few girls before. He had told you about it, obviously.

Honestly you shouldve been more upset at the fact he was being a total hypocrite right now.

Things had heated up, he was between your legs, caging you beneath him, you had your hands in his hair, holding his lips to yours.

He was grinding up against you, you were moaning into his mouth.

Next thing you knew he was ripping your clothes off and you were pulling his off of him.

He ran himself over your wetness and let out a groan.

Pushing himself into you, you let out a loud gasp at the sudden splitting feeling.

He kissed your jaw whispering in your ear.

“You ok?”

You moaned and rolled your hips forward a bit, to signal you wanted him to move.

He began moving back and forth, slowly at first, until you begged him to go faster.

Soon he had your leg up on his shoulder and was leaning over you, leaving kisses down your jaw and neck.

“H-haji-,” he leaned up, not slowing his pace. “M’ gonna- m’gonna”

He threw his head back pulling your hips to match the pace of his thrusting, he was going deeper and harder than before, the knots were tightening in your abdomen.

“Do it.”

With that you let go, seeing fireworks fill your vision.

“F-fuck!” He pulled out cumming on your stomach.

He got up and retrieved a washcloth from your bathroom, cleaning you up.

Getting dressed again you laid back down, him in his boxers next to you.

But he was facing your wall. You felt a ping of hurt in your chest as you crawled back into your bed, where the boy you loved had just deflowered you.

“Haji-“ you spoked but stopped when you heard a soft snore leave his mouth. A sigh left your lips as you faced the other way and closed your eyes. Youd just talk to him in the morning.

✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

Morning rolled around and you found yourself in the middle of your bed. Looking around you didnt see hajime or his things. You stood out of bed and looked to your clock.

5:45 am.

You grabbed your phone, opting to call him instead of search around for him.

No answer.

You thought back to the night before and felt sick to your stomach.

Maybe you messed everything up.

These thought filled your head all the way to school.

When you arrived in the classroom you saw him sitting at his desk. Right next to yours.

You made a slow approach towards your usual seat, eyeing him like he was some sort of monster that would spot you at the slightest movement.

Sitting down you finally turned towards him.

“Hey.” You said soft enough for him to hear it.

He looked at you then turned away quick. Not answering.

You looked down at your lap, where your fingers were twirling anxiously.

✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

This act kept up for 3 whole weeks. Not one word said between you two.

This was becoming a problem for your mutual friends on the volleyball team.

You had stopped coming around to practices and ignoring the other boys. It was lowering the whole teams morale.

Finally oikawa had enough and cornered you against a corner with the other 2 boys.

“What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On.”

It wasnt a question. It was a demand.

“Nun ya.” You said crossing your arms and rolling your eyes.

Maki smacked the wall next to your head leaning down to make eye contact with you.

“Tell us now.” He was dead serious.

“Fine.,” you huffed looking away from them. “Hajimeandihadsex3weeksagoandheleftinthemiddleofthenightandhasbeenignoringmeeversince.”

“Woah-woah- you and haijime WHAT?!” Now mattsun spoke up shaking his head in disbelief.

“We had sex. And then he rolled over in my bed and went to sleep. And now hes ignoring me. And hasnt talked to me in 3 whole weeks.” You were looking at your shoes, tears had finally built up in your eyes.

Oikawa put his hand on your shoulder.

“Hey,” it was soft spoken, unusual from his normal behavior. “Hes a dick for that. You didnt deserve that.” He patted your back and motioned for the other two boys to follow him.

They made their way to Hajimes classroom telling him to come with them for an impromptu club meeting. He followed unknowingly.

They found themselves in the club room.

Hajime in a familiar position that you had been in by the same boys just a bit prior.

Oikawa, Maki, and Mattsuwaka had evil and dangerous looks on their faces. Hajime was scared.

Mattun spoke. “Whats your problem?”

Then oikawa through gritted teeth. “Youve got some explaining to do.”

And finally Maki, “How is it you bag the hottie whos our number one supporter and somehow you manage to fumble her?” Hes popping his knuckles in a threatening manner.

Iwaizumi gave a few dumbfounded blinks then spoke up.

“I uh-,” he was cut off by the three boys leaning over him more than they were before, closing out any light from the corner he was in. He cleared his throat and spoke again. “I came really quick. And uh. Im embarrassed to talk to her.”

The three boys all exchanged glances before leaning back up.

Hajime leaned all the way back up as well.

Maki reached out and landed a hard punch to the cornered boys stomach.

“You fucking idiot!”

Oikawa now spoke, “you know, y/n thinks that you hate her? She was crying over it earlier!”

Mattsun pushed hajime towards the door.

“You better go fix this. Fucking dumbass.”

✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

It was 8:30 pm.

Hajime knocked on your door, hoping your parents were off somewhere for work.

You answered the door.

Hajime took you in.

You had on a too large Tshirt he knew to be oikawas, one you had stolen a year prior, during a group sleepover at mattsuns.

Hajime remembered you had been baking cookies in the kitchen with the tall setter when he caked you in flour and eggs. In exchange he offered up his sleep shirt, feeling bad afterwards about the mess he made.

Looking down a pair of his own boxers sat on your hips. Folded down a few times so theyd fit you.

They mustve gotten mixed in your laundry at some point. Who knows.

“Haji! Hi!” You gave him a wide-eyed stare. Caught off guard by his sudden presence after weeks of missing him.

He looked at you then down at his feet, kicking a small rock he shoved his hands in his pockets, looking back up to you he spoke.

“Im really fucking sorry y/n.”

✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

You had only seen him like this twice in your entire life.

Once when he and oikawa broke your brand new guitar that you spent a whole summer babysitting and doing odd jobs to save money for.

Hes still doing chores for his mom to this day to pay off the debt of buying you a new one.

The second time was 2 summers ago when you and the other volleyball team members went camping for a summer bonding trip.

Oikawa and hajime were sitting next to you rough housing when the black haired boys elbow flew back and hit you square in the nose.

A quick *crack* sounded on impact.

He slowly turned his head to look at you, blood rushing down your face from your nose, your nose was already purple and crooked to one side.

“Holy shit. Holy shit, holyshit. Holyshitholyshit.” You panicked.

The other team members gathered around you, unsure what to do.

“We… we need to go to the hospital.” Hajime spoke up.

“You fucking broke my nose!” You were crying, trying not to touch your nose.

“Oh fuck!” Oikawa now said bring everyone back to earth.

With a rush you were in a coaches car with haijme holding you stroking your hair.

“Im sorry” was all he said to you for the 30 minute drive.

He never lived that down. But you werent too mad.

You got a free nose job and hes still paying off his debt for breaking your nose.

✭・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

“Wha-“ you were cut off by him speaking again.

“I really really fucked up y/n. And im so sorry. I love you and i was embarrassed and didnt know what to do.”

“Not ignore me, maybe?” You huffed now annoyed.

“I know. Im sorry.,” he looked around then straight abck at you, now straightening his posture. “I love you too.”

You blinked a few times then began shutting the door.

He stopped you with his foot.

“Wait!”

You groaned loudly then reopened it.

“What? You really hurt my feelings and now you just want me to be like ‘oh ok, cool youre embarrassed you fucked me’ and move on?”

“No! I- i want to explain myself.”

You leaned against the door and rolled your eyes. “Fine.”

“I uh, i camereallyfastandthiughtyoudhatemeandbeembarrassediwasyourfirsttime.”

You now stood completely infront of him.

Your eyes yet again wide in surprise.

“So you ignored me because you came quick?”

He was now giving you the same dumb look you had just given him.

“Yeah.” It was quiet. Like a scolded child.

“So what? I came too, i dont know how all this sex stuff works exactly but i think were even.” You now had an eyebrow quirked up at him.

“Oh…”

“Yeah ‘oh’ you ignored me for 3 weeks because you came quick or whatever you just said.”

He now looked extremely embarrassed.

“How are you going to make it up to me?” You asked.

“Uhm,” he stood there thinking for a second. “How about a date? Tomorrow? 7pm? Wear something nice?”

You felt a smile grow on your face.

“Sounds good.”

“See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”

[tainsan]

misfits IV (college!ateez x reader)

pairing: ot8 ateez x fem! reader

warnings: cursing, negligence, mentions of suicide, a fight between yeosang and yunho

word count: 8.5k

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--- THIS IS AN 18+ STORY MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ---

“You’re also adding the overall total to the mean, it doesn’t need to be there.” You explain to Jeongin, who immediately face plants into his palm.

“Are you serious?” He groans, understanding his amateur mistake. You recognise the frustration, relating to the problems, having them yourself in the past due to being very stressed and sleep deprived.

“Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.”

Jeongin and you are sat side by side in the quiet solitude of the library, Jeongin finds himself engrossed in the assignment, his brow furrowed as he surveys over his mistake. The air is filled with a hushed diligence, the only sounds being the soft rustling of papers and the occasional scratch of pen against paper. The library offers a sanctuary for their focused work, providing a space free from distractions where they can dive deep into the realm of knowledge and learning. You are not too far from the spot where you tutored San and Jongho last week. Yet you decided to stay away from the particular spot, so you don’t get too distracted by the strong memories and thoughts of the two men.

“I feel like I could’ve sorted that out by myself, I’m sorry for wasting your time.” Jeongin looks extremely apologetic, and you can’t help but feel bad for him.

“It’s really okay, my morning was free anyways, and I’m always glad to help a friend.” You smile at him, his remorseful gaze melting away and being replaced by his signature eye smile.

“You better get going though, you’ve got an important date to attend to.” You wink at him, wiggling your eyebrows jokingly. Jeongin rolls his eyes before grabbing his things and bidding you a sweet goodbye. You reflect on Jeongin’s happiness, a wave of warmth and affection washes over your heart. Thoughts of your friend finding someone he truly likes, brings a genuine smile to your face. Silently hoping that this newfound relationship will last, the look on his features pure.

As the time passes by, you realise it’s time to find Jisung and attempt to explain your situation in a way that won’t freak him out too much. Grabbing your phone, you send him a text that you’re in the library, you await his presence by editing the finishing an assignment that needs to be uploaded by tomorrow.

“Girl, I haven’t heard from you in days where the fuck have you been?” Jisung’s voice speaks from behind you loudly, causing fellow library attendants to send him pointed glares. Jisung sends the look back, telling them to mind their business before bringing you into a warm hug. The two of you sit down next to each other, your assignment pushed to the side. Turning to your best friend, you give him the apologetic look you can muster.

“It’s been really crazy, I’m so sorry.” You reply, regretful for denying the events from the past few days from your best friend, knowing it would’ve been much more manageable with Jisung by your side.

“Right? Minho told me that Kim fucking Hongjoong came into your lecture and demanded you to see him?”

You grimace, remembering that day and how likely it was that the whole school is talking about you right now, “yeah that did happen?”

“Did he threaten you? Stab you? Poison you? You know he’s the leader of the group, right?”

“Yeah, a good leader too.”

“Is that seriously the only thing you got from that sentence?”

“Jisung I’m fine, he actually offered me a place to live…” your words are careful, trying to be quiet, knowing someone is probably listening to your conversation after hearing the words ‘Hongjoong’. Maybe even listening in since they saw you, knowing the attention you are receiving now is much more than usual.

“Okay what.” Jisung looks at you in disbelief, he eyes scanning yours to look for any sign of a joke, “she’s gone insane holy shit.”

“Jisung I’m not insane shut up. His mother is a real estate agent, and they pulled some strings.”

“Okay you’re telling me that the Ateez magically pulled strings for you.”

“I know it’s hard to believe but they really aren’t as bad as you think, only one of them is… questionable.”

Jisung gaze towards you softens, “I want to believe you, but I’ve seen it first-hand how rude they can be to people,”

“Maybe they are trying to change? Come on Ji, it’s me, you know damn well I’m a good judge of character.”

There is a long pause between the conversation, Jisung letting in the information you have provided him with. Jisung knows you are very good at reading people, due to past events you’ve had many situations where you don’t like a friend of his, even if they are the kindest person in the world to him. They always end up the way that you see them and warn Jisung of. At this point Jisung judges your gut feeling more than his own.

“I trust you. If you say they are nice then I will believe it. Just be careful around them, okay?”

You nod at Jisung, happy he understands. As you sit in quiet reflection, an intense sense of gratitude washes over you, directed towards your cherished best friend. With each passing thought, you are reminded of the countless moments you have shared, and the unwavering support Jisung has always offered you. He has been a pillar of strength and a constant source of comfort in your life, and you are overwhelmed with an immense feeling of thankfulness for the presence of Jisung in your life.

“So, what place did you get?” Jisung asks, curious as to where you ended up staying. You realise you never actually told him the full story. Preparing yourself for the worst, you try to find the right words to use.

“Do you promise to not freak out?” You question, your words again quiet, fearful of someone listening in to the conversation. Jisung raises an eyebrow in your direction, very intrigued as to why you would have to caution him not to freak out.

“After finding out Ateez are actually sweethearts, nothing can freak me out.”

“I’m living with them.” You deadpan, not finding any easy way to put it. Watching as Jisung’s eyes open hugely, his mouth takes in a large breath before opening. Before he can even get any words out, you cover his mouth with your hand, stopping his scream from echoing across, likely, the entire library.

“Please don’t freak out!” You exclaim, attempting to silence him as quickly as possible, hoping not to get kicked out of the library. Slowly removing your hand from his mouth, his shocked expression stays present on his face. If this were a scene from a movie, it would definitely make the two of you laugh.

“I’m not freaking out, you’re freaking out.” His voice is high pitched and out of breath, his ears not believing the absurd words exiting your mouth.

“Look I know, it’s insane, but it was my only option.”

Jisung slightly relaxes, yet his entire body is noticeably still tense and on edge.

“I’m saying this because I love you, but are you fucking stupid?” Rolling your eyes at him, you start to speak yet you get cut off, “you can’t live with eight guys.”

“That’s how it would’ve been if I moved in with you.” You retort.

“Yes, but Minho and I would be there to keep you safe if they tried anything. I don’t know your roommates; how do I trust them not to hurt you?”

“Jisung, I really appreciate that you care, but I trust them. They are too respectful to do anything. Plus, you know if they ever hurt me, I’d WWE the shit out of them.”

Jisung’s laugh is boisterous and echoes in the library, when he gets shushed by the people around him, he quickly puts his finger to his lips and shushes them back, again. Looking back at you, his eyes scan your face for any signs of discomfort. When he sees none, his body relaxes a little.

“You’d call me if anything happened, right?” Jisung questions, he moves his hand to rest on yours on top of the large oak table.

“Of course, Ji. It’s not like anyone else is on my emergency contact list.” You say joking through the bitterness evident on your voice.

“Speaking of, have you heard anything from your dad?” Jisung’s voice is soft, knowing how sensitive the subject can be for you.

“Not really, and I don’t particularly care. I did see on Facebook that he has found a new family to terrorise.”

Jisung’s eye roll is almost audible, he lets out an exasperated groan, “this guy never fails to surprise me with his bullshit.”

“You’d think he’d had enough after destroying one family.”

“Let’s not talk about it, he doesn’t deserve the attention.” A comfortable silence begins, and you feel yourself relax, Jisung continues talking when he realises, he didn’t ask a crucial question. “You do have your own room, right?”

“Yes of course. It’s a super nice room, and the bed is so big and comfortable. Plus, I have my own bathroom, so I don’t need to worry about walking in on them naked.” You reply, thinking about the amazing rest you had the previous night.

“That wouldn’t be too bad.” Jisung confesses, leaning back in his chair.

“What the fuck are you saying?” You hit Jisung’s arm, baffled by the nonsense coming out of his mouth, “weren’t you the one who was literally bashing on them earlier?”

“What? Just because I don’t especially like them, doesn’t mean they aren’t undeniably handsome and sexy as fuck.”

“Jisung shut up, you literally have a boyfriend.”

“I also have two perfectly functioning eyes, and if they are so respectful and kind maybe you should bag one,” Jisung looks over at you, a devious glint in his eyes, “or all.”

“Not a chance, Yunho fucking hates me for some reason.”

Jisung looks at you with a gobsmacked expression, “Yunho? Hate you? How can this guy hate you? You’re the sweetest person in the whole world.”

“I don’t know to be honest, Seonghwa said it was because he’s bad with new people, but I feel like there’s something more to the story.”

“Hang on we will unpack that another time. The Park Seonghwa?” Jisung questions, his eyes even wider than before. You start to wonder how wide his eyes can even go at this point.

“Yes?”

“He’s so fine holy shit. If you don’t bag him, I will.” Jisung relaxes back into his chair again.

“Again, you have a boyfriend.”

“Multiple boyfriends are a thing.” The short male jokes, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“I’m joking. I love Minho to bits, you know that.”

Laughing at Jisung whilst rolling your eyes, he gently pushes your arm, clearly wanting more details.

“So, you’re telling me you have zero feelings for any of them?” Jisung inquires, leaning closer to you, resting his chin on his hand, a questioning look on his features.

“Why are you so interested in my love life Han?”

“I’m your best friend, your love life is very interesting to me.”

Just as you're about to respond, a vibrant flash of pink captures your attention from behind Jisung, causing you to momentarily lose focus. As the source of the pink draws nearer, you realize it's Mingi approaching your table. His piercing gaze sends a chill down your spine, and you can't help but notice the awe-struck gazes of onlookers as he effortlessly navigates past numerous tables. There's an undeniable air of confidence in his stride, similar to that of a model confidently strutting down a runway, leaving you in awe of his presence.

Caught off guard by your sudden distraction, Jisung turns around, following your gaze to the approaching figure. Sensing his confusion, you instinctively reach out, placing a comforting hand on your best friend's shoulder, offering him reassurance amidst the unexpected arrival of Mingi.

“Don’t worry, he’s one of the nicer ones.” You whisper in his ear, Jisung’s tense shoulders relaxing slightly.

“So, you weren’t lying about moving in, were you?” Jisung whispers back, his eyes not leaving Mingi’s tall structure.

The tall male reaches the table you are at, you are glad that his back is faced towards all the people staring, otherwise they would see the smile that spreads across his features.

“Hey,” Mingi smiles at you, not even paying attention to the smaller man sat closer to him.

Jisung stares at Mingi, shocked to even see a smile on Mingi’s face. Eventually, Mingi looks towards Jisung, and his smile fades slightly, but doesn’t disappear. Gently nodding his head in Jisung’s direction, as if he says hello, he turns his head back to you. 

At this small gesture, you are somewhat happy that they are not treating your best friend the cold way you have heard so much about. It is huge for Mingi to be nice to you, so the fact he is also being pleasant to your friend makes you feel extremely touched by the small act.

“You have anatomy soon, right?” Mingi’s deep voice questions you. You and Jisung are both surprised that the man knows what you have next.

“Yeah, I do, how did you know?”

“I’m walking in the same direction; do you want to go together?"  Mingi ignores your question leaving you confused, yet you decide to pay no attention to it.

“Well, I was actually going to walk with Jisung.” You say, slightly upset for denying the pink haired man, seeing that he came all the way to find you so you could walk together.

Jisung’s eyes light up like lightbulbs as a thought enters his head, “no, she wasn’t. I was walking by myself. Goodbye you two. It was nice to meet you Mingi.” Jisung has a huge grin on his face as he grabs his bag off the floor and rushes to leave the library.

Confused out of your mind, you look towards Jisung as he leaves, with your arms signing ‘what?’. The only thing your best friend does is point towards Mingi, who still has his eyes on you, he then mouths the words ‘bag him’ before laughing and almost sprinting out of the large room. Wasn’t he the one who said he didn’t want you to be around them? ‘This guy doesn’t have enough time to be playing match maker,’ you think in your head and let out a groan.

“Is it that bad to walk with me to class?” Mingi questions, his expression sorrowful, worried from the groan that just left your lips.

Immediately, you feel bad and reassure the man in front of you, “no Mingi of course not. I was just weirded out by his actions; I’d love to walk with you.”

Instantly, the frown on his face is replaced by a relieved smile. Feeling happy you’re comfortable to walk with him, Mingi helps you pack your things into your bag and the two of you head out of the library, trying to ignore all the stares you get from the people around you. If this is what it’s like to be friends with Ateez, you might as well get used to it, even if you hate being in the spotlight.

As Mingi bids you farewell and heads off to his next class, a wave of realization washes over you. Despite living with the Ateez members, there is still so much you don't know about them. Determined to resolve this, you make a mental note to engage with them individually, realizing that one-on-one conversations might be more manageable and less overwhelming than having them all in one room together. Living under the same roof provides ample opportunities for deeper connections to form.

As the professor enters the classroom, the chatter subsides, and a hush of anticipation settles over the students. You take a seat in the back, preparing for the extended lesson that lies ahead. Thoughts of the impending dinner with the Ateez members fill your mind, stir up mixed feelings within you. It has been quite some time since you've had dinner with a larger group of people, reminiscing about the warmth and amity that accompanied those moments back in high school. The sight of them gathering around the table, like a chosen family, tugs at your heartstrings. However, the prospect of encountering Yunho once again fills you with concern. The words Seonghwa spoke about Hongjoong's "good way of disciplining" linger in your thoughts, leaving you with a mixture of curiosity and uncertainty. You contemplate the dynamics at the dinner table, resolving to find a seat away from Yunho to avoid any confrontations or discomfort.

Realizing that you've allowed your mind to wander, you refocus your attention on the lecture, determined not to miss any crucial information. The upcoming dinner remains at the back of your mind, a blend of excitement and apprehension. You reassure yourself that tonight will be an opportunity to observe and evaluate the dynamics of the group, to see how everyone interacts and finding your place. Deep down, you know that time and shared experiences will reveal more about each member's true nature, allowing you to navigate this new chapter with openness and resilience.

With renewed focus, you immerse yourself in the lecture, ready to absorb the knowledge before you and face the dinner with a mixture of curiosity and cautious optimism.

---

Frustration consumes you as you struggle to insert your key into the stubborn lock, the front door refusing to yield to your attempts. With an exasperated sigh, you lean forward, allowing the weight of your frustration to manifest as a slight bang against the door, as your head comes in contact with the white door. The lecture had ended at four, and you had planned a quick shopping trip with Jisung to grab the forgotten essentials like toothpaste and shampoo. However, fate had a different plan in mind as you unexpectedly ran into Felix near the school. Before you knew it, the three of you found yourselves lured into a charming café that Felix had discovered through the enticing realm of TikTok. Sensing the minutes slipping away, you bid your hasty goodbyes when the clock neared seven, anxious not to be tardy for your inaugural dinner together.

Fortunately, someone had left a key for you on the kitchen counter this morning, yet you are starting to think it’s not the key to the house. Maybe it was Yunho playing a trick on you, so you can’t get into the house, and you will leave him alone. Luckily for you, you happen to be pretty stubborn, and you are not going to give in to whatever this ruse is.

Pulling out your phone, you go to your contacts and push in San’s number. You think you should probably get the rest of the boys’ numbers so if you’re stuck outside at least you have more of a chance of getting inside.

The phone rings about three times before the phone picks up, and you’re surprised at how fast San picks up.

“___, hey. What’s up?” San speaks over the phone, his voice is soft, yet for some reason you can hear he has a smile on his face, perhaps he had a good day. Hearing the smile on San’s face brings a smile to your own and you frustration pointed towards the door melts away. You can hear him shuffling around in the background.

“Hey San, are you home at the moment?” You ask, putting you key back into your pocket.

“Yeah, I am. Why?” The curiosity laced in San’s words is unmissable.

“My key isn’t working for some reason, could you please open the door for me?”

“Ohhhh,” San speaks out, realising the problem, “try pulling the door towards you slightly when you turn the key.”

Reaching into your bag once again, you pull out the key and place it back in the lock. This time, gently pulling the door towards you and just like magic the lock turns fully, opening the door.

“Ah thank you San!” You exclaim as you walk inside the house and start to take off your shoes.

“No worries” a voice speaks out from in front of you. Whipping your head up, you see San leaning against the railing of the staircase with a small smile on his face. Why does he look so handsome suddenly?

“How long have you been there?” You ask, wondering if he was just passing by.

“Since the first time you tried to unlock the door.”

The disbelief washes over you as you observe the guy standing there, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he could have easily opened the door for you. 

A wave of guilt surges through you, realizing that you had unfairly blamed Yunho for something that wasn't his fault. It dawns on you that perhaps it's premature to judge him as a horrible person without giving him a chance. The thought lingers in your mind, igniting a flicker of curiosity you decide maybe you should try to get to know him better before passing any final judgments.

“Why didn’t you open the door then?” You groan as you walk past him, into the kitchen where you see Jongho sat at the island, watching a video on his phone. San follows you behind, and watches as you place your bag on the island, catching Jongho’s attention.

“___,” Jongho says with a smile. You return his smile as you take a seat at the island not too far from Jongho.

“If I had opened the door for you then you would never learn how to properly open it.” San explains, his smile is still on his features, yet you can see just a hint of teasing behind it.

You feel your annoyance fade away as you realise, he has a point, still being stubborn though, you blow a raspberry at him, faking annoyance, causing a laugh to erupt from his throat.

Approaching you with a playful demeanour, San affectionately places a hand on top of your head, his touch causing a gentle ruffle of your hair. A soft smile tugs at his lips as he leans down, bringing his eyes to meet yours, and in that intimate proximity, your faces mere inches apart, he confesses, "You're cute."

The sudden admission sends a surge of warmth rushing up your neck, setting your cheeks ablaze. Overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, you instinctively break eye contact, leaning back as if to create some distance between you and the rush of emotions that swirl within you. San, now standing tall again, leans against the counter behind you, his presence a comforting anchor amidst the fluttering of your heart.

In an attempt to collect yourself, you shift your gaze towards Jongho, who observes the exchange between you and San with a knowing smile. Catching the small glare Jongho directs towards San before turning his attention to you, his smile resumes, radiating a sense of reassurance and understanding.

“How was your day?” Jongho asks, turning off his phone and placing it face down on the counter.

“It was good, I helped a friend with his project and then had an extended lecture which I am absolutely exhausted from. I also went to a really nice café with Jisung and Felix” You reply, sinking into the chair.

“Who is Felix?” San asks, curious at the unfamiliar name. His voice is a little sharp and you can’t help but wonder why.

“He’s one of Jisung’s friends, we don’t hang out that often, but it was nice to see him today.”

“Are you two close friends?” Jongho is the one who questions this time.

“Not that close, he’s more of an acquaintance to me.” I explain to the two.

They both lets out “ah’s” as they let the information process in their heads.

“You didn’t go to Wooyoung’s café?” San questions, sitting next to you, “he was working today.” San adds.

Feeling bad all of a sudden, you remember the café Wooyoung works at.

“Next time I’ll go there for sure,” you say, hoping they aren’t mad about you not going to their friend’s café.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he doesn’t mind.” Jongho reassures you the second he sees the slightest amount of guilt on your face. Smiling at Jongho, you silently thank him for reassuring your worries.

Then, you suddenly remember the unfinished assignment essay you have yet to submit to the online drop box. Checking the time on your phone, you are relieved to see that you likely have enough time to finish it before dinner.

“Excuse me, I need to finish this essay, I will see you two later.” You explain as you grab your belongings off the island, turning to walk to your room, you take one more look at the men in the kitchen. They are both watching you as you leave, but they have smiles on their faces.

“Good luck,” Jongho says before you close the door to your room.

The next forty minutes are spent in your room, putting the final touches on your assignment, a sense of accomplishment fills the air around you. With a satisfied smile, you close your laptop, knowing that you have poured your efforts and creativity into completing the task at hand. Glancing around, you realise that dinner is still in the process of being prepared, and a surge of anticipation awakens your taste buds. The tempting aromas wafting from the kitchen ignite a hunger within you, making you eagerly await the culinary delights soon to be served. In this brief moment of transition, you revel in the satisfaction of a job well done, ready to savour the flavours that await you at the dinner table.

When Seonghwa knocks on your door to let you know that dinner is almost ready, you send a smile in his direction before getting back to your screen, only having to upload the document. As dinner gets closer, you hear more noises around the house of people entering the abode, your excitement intensifying as you hear Wooyoung’s high pitched laugh from the kitchen making you chuckle under your breath.

Just as you send in your assignment, you hear a soft knock on your door before you hear Mingi’s deep voice speak explaining dinner is ready.

You take a minute to put your laptop into your bag again and clear up your desk quickly before heading out the door and towards the living room. You pass Yunho in the kitchen who is stirring something in a pot. Walking around him quietly, strategically avoiding his gaze, you make it past the kitchen without him seeing you.

As you enter the room, you notice the group gathered around the expansive table, everyone is present except for the notably tall male figure. Finding an empty seat beside Mingi and Seonghwa, you greet everyone with a respectful hello, initiating a brief conversation with Mingi to ask about his day. The conversation flows effortlessly, yet it is cut short as your attention is swiftly diverted by the entrance of Yunho.

He is carrying plates of food. A smile tugs at your lips as the pleasant aroma wafts towards you, instantly recognizing one it as of your favourite meals. Your mouth begins to water in anticipation as you watch Yunho meticulously place the plates in front of each person around the table. However, as he reaches your spot, he strangely passes your plate and instead sets it down in front of Seonghwa, a confusing act that leaves you momentarily taken aback. With a mixture of surprise and confusion, you lock eyes with Yunho, who takes a seat directly across from you, further adding to the mystery of his actions.

“And ___’s plate, Yunho.” Hongjoong questions, his voice is strong and authoritative yet the glare that Yunho gives you shows he ignored Hongjoong completely.

“Sorry, I only made enough for eight.” Yunho glares at you, ignoring the sighs of disappointment and groans from the seven males around him.

“You can have mine,” Seonghwa begins to put his plate in front of you, yet you stop him. Smiling at him gently, you turn back to Yunho in front of you.

“Enjoy your meal, Yunho. I hope you’re happy.” You deadpan, before standing up and pacing out the room, irritated with the bullshit that Yunho is pulling. As you rise from your seat, Wooyoung makes a move to join you, concern written across his face. However, you gently halt his advance, urging him to remain seated and enjoy his meal. Seonghwa's assurance that Hongjoong would handle the situation lingers in your mind, but deep down, you harbour scepticism about Yunho's ability to change so quickly.

Despite feeling deeply disappointed by the turn of events, you gather your inner strength, resolved to confront the situation on your own terms. You remind yourself that you are capable of handling this setback, even though it casts a shadow over your anticipation for the dinner.

“Yunho what the fuck are you trying to do?” Wooyoung demands as he glares at the tall male, his disappoint and anger evident in his words, his stance defensive.

“Just eat. It’s her problem.” Yunho answers, starting to cut his food up.

----

“He didn’t make me food, on purpose, so I just walked out.” You explain the situation to Jisung over the phone.

“Now this is what I expected from an Ateez member to be honest. No hate.” Jisung groans over the phone, annoyance evident on his voice.

The enticing aroma of your favourite meal still wafts through the air, and you find yourself torn between anticipation and frustration. Yunho skilfully prepared the dish you adore, and you aren’t sure is he made the meal because he knows you like it, that would be impossible. Your irritancy intensifies as you realise this was a deliberate attempt to manipulate your emotions.

It becomes painfully clear that Yunho purposefully made the meal with the intent to excite you, using it as a weapon to push you towards the decision of moving out. The realization strikes you like a jagged bolt of lightning, igniting a mixture of anger and hurt. A part of you wants to go back into the dining room and snatch his plate from under his nose, but a stronger part of you resists, refusing to let Yunho's manipulation dictate your actions.

As soon as you entered your room, you found yourself calling your best friend, disappointed but not surprised by the actions of Yunho. Scurrying over to your bed, you rest on the edge still trying to fully process the events. Ranting to Jisung only makes you realise how annoyed you are on the tallest male.

“It’s annoying yes, but it’s manageable. If he starts squaring up on me though I will likely be very scared, bro is big.” You half joke, knowing that he likely won’t dare to start a fight with you due to Hongjoong being present. Tonight, wasn’t nice but it wasn’t like he threatened you or said particularly rude things, if it’s like this you are for sure able to manage at least until you find another place to live. Yes, this place is extremely nice and affordable but it’s not somewhere you see yourself living in for a long time.

“Have you at least eaten anything?” Jisung’s question leaves you shocked. No, you haven’t eaten anything since probably lunch. The second you think about food, your stomach emits a loud growl, leaving you to face palm. Definitely should buy some food, you think to yourself, still aggravated about missing out on the most delicious food you’ve smelt in a while.

Reassuring Jisung, then saying goodbye after about an hour of talking, you hang up the call and immediately open your fast-food app. Scanning through each restaurant you end up even more irritated seeing that there are no deals and most of the food will take at least an hour to arrive. You’re not sure you should be even buying food, seeing how posh the area is it would be a crime to even think about ordering cheap fast food. Flipping from the food application, you go to your bank account checking to see if you even have enough money to be buying a meal. Seeing the amount makes you audibly sigh, your ideas of getting food leaving your mind quicker than you can shut off your phone. Laying back on your bed, you close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, attempting to let the frustration slowly vacate your body.

‘Whatever.’ You think to yourself, you’re not eating so you might as well get ready for bed.

Walking into the bathroom and settling into your night time routine, a sense of annoyance creeping over you when you notice that your favourite moisturizer is running dangerously low. Frustration bubbles within you as you realise that you’ll soon need to replace it. You contemplate the possibility of squeezing out every last drop, hoping to prolong its usage just a little while longer. Sighing to yourself, you realise that you have to again spend money on something you would rather not. Wishing you could just ignore your need for moisturiser, you groan knowing you can’t due to having extremely dry skin in the winter and you’d prefer to not look like your skin was falling off. The moisturiser you use isn’t even that expensive, it’s just a supermarket own brand one that barely keeps your skin looking presentable, yet it’s all you can afford, you have other things you have to save your money for.

Making your way wearily back to your bed, where your phone rests on the charger, you snatch it up and settle on the edge of the mattress. With a swift search on YouTube, you strive to find the perfect video to unwind with before drifting off to sleep. Yet, as your finger taps on a selection, the video barely has a chance to begin before a soft knock reverberates from your door. 

Your head whips towards the source of the sound, a realization dawning upon you that someone seeks entry. Surprise tinged with guilt washes over you as you reflect on having walked out on dinner, aware of its importance to the other person. Amidst the rapid whirl of thoughts, you question why you are shouldering the blame when it was Jeong Yunho who acted insensitively. 

A flicker of panic flits through your mind, silently hoping that it's not Yunho standing on the other side of the door. Should you pretend to be asleep? No, that won't work, as they would have heard you using the bathroom. Lost in a flurry of racing thoughts, you momentarily forget that someone patiently awaits your response, mere inches away on the other side of the wall.

“Um ___? Can I come in quickly?” A deep sweet voice sounds from behind the wooden door and you immediately recognise it as Yeosang. Letting out a soft sigh of relief you answer back, letting Yeosang know it’s okay for him to open the entrance to your room.

From across the room, your gaze fixates on the door, anticipation coursing through your veins. It swings open, revealing the familiar figure of Yeosang standing hesitantly in the doorway, his presence both captivating and disarming. As your eyes slowly travel from the bottom of his body to his face, you can't help but take note of the subtle changes in his appearance. His usual jeans and hoodie are replaced by a black tank top that showcases his toned arms and snug grey sweatpants that accentuate his casual yet charming vibe. The sight of his bare arms, muscles defined and veins subtly visible, evokes a mix of admiration and intrigue within you. You find yourself captivated by the way his physique displays strength and confidence.

Caught in the act of observing him, Yeosang registers you checking him out, a blend of pride and embarrassment sweeping across his features. His cheeks dusted with a rosy hue, hints at the flattery he feels under your gaze. A contented, almost bashful smile graces his lips, revealing his genuine delight at being the centre of your attention. His usually carefully styled hair appears tousled, and you realise he must have been readying for bed.

However, your attention is abruptly drawn to the paper bag clutched in his hand, distracting your eyes away from his physique and back to his face. The red blush on his cheeks remains, giving him an endearing charm, while his eyes sparkle with a mix of excitement and nervousness. The sight of his dishevelled hair and his relaxed attire only amplifies his charm, adding a touch of effortless attractiveness to his overall appearance.

“I bought you some food. I wasn’t too sure what you’d like so I got a mixture of some things.” Yeosang explains, holding up the paper bag in his hand.

This act instantly makes your heart speed up and your chest to feel warm despite the freeing temperature of your room. This kind gesture warms your heart, and you can’t help but feel incredibly grateful to the man standing in your doorway.

Yeosang's gaze sweeps over your figure, his eyes instinctively drawn to the form-fitting pyjamas that hug your curves. A surge of satisfaction courses through him as he realizes the envy that would consume the other boys if they knew the position he is in at this very moment. Grateful for the stroke of fortune that has brought him into this position, he momentarily loses himself in a spiral of thoughts, silently expressing gratitude to whichever higher power may have orchestrated this unexpected encounter. However, his attention is abruptly redirected as your soft voice breaks through the reverie, grounding him back to the present moment.

“Yeosang, I,” you start to speak yet you can’t find the words to express your gratitude to him, you instead invite him to enter your room fully. “Please come in.” You request, smiling widely at the giddy man who is now in your bedroom.

It’s the first time Yeosang has been in your bedroom since you decorated it, finding some small posters and fairy lights to hang around your room, and some plants to place around making it feel more like home. He looks throughout the space, admiring what you’ve done to it.

“I still have some more things I need to buy before it becomes home.” You admit to the blonde male as he looks around. When he hears your statement, he looks towards you and smiles warmly.

“Here you go,” he says, handing you the bag, and stepping backwards, wanting to not bother you further and let you eat in peace. Looking down into the bag, you see a few different packages, wrapped in aluminium foil and the smell reaches your nostrils, filling them up with the most delicious savoury scent, causing your mouth to water and your stomach reminds you how hungry you actually were.

When you look back up, you see Yeosang back by the doorway, heavily debating whether he should leave or stay to make sure you finish the food, nervously shifting from one foot to the other, unsure of what to say. You smile at his actions, for a buff guy who is supposedly a ‘bad boy’, he sure is cute.

“Yeosang,” you speak out, catching his attention, he meets your eyes, and you swear you could have fainted at that moment. His gaze holds a gentle softness, yet beneath the surface, you sense a wealth of unspoken feelings concealed within the intensity of his eye contact. Words are on the tip of your tongue as you contemplate the question that weighs heavily on your mind, unsure of how to speak your thoughts.

Yeosang, sensing your hesitation and the hint of worry in your stance, takes a step closer, concern etched on his features. Something in the way you stand, lost in your thoughts while gazing at him, tells him that something might be wrong. “Are you okay?” He asks.

Before you can find the right words, however, you instinctively close the distance between you, your heart racing with anticipation. The bag of food you were holding slips from your hands, forgotten on the floor as you gently wrap your arms around him, seeking comfort in a tender embrace.

Yeosang tenses up, caught off guard by the sudden display of affection. Your abrupt departure only further fuels his uncertainty, leaving you standing a meter away, immediately apologizing for potentially crossing boundaries. “I’m sorry, I’m just extremely grateful for the food I’m so sorry for pushing your boundaries,”

But before you can utter another word, this time, Yeosang closes the distance, his hands enveloping you, drawing you closer to his chest. Your cheek presses against the warmth of his shirt, the sensation of his toned physique beneath it briefly registering in your mind. Overwhelmed by the strength and security of his hold, you find yourself tensing up this time, momentarily taken aback by the unexpected gesture. Yet, understanding his earlier hesitation from your own action, you reciprocate by wrapping your arms around his waist, surrendering to the comfort of the embrace.

Time seems to stretch as you bask in the comfort of his arms, feeling a sense of familiarity and longing that has been absent for far too long. Your light-headedness gives way to a contented sigh, revelling in the serenity given by his hug. Expecting the moment to end, you begin to pull away, only to be pulled back into his chest, your cheek colliding with his in a gentle 'oof' of surprise.

Moments blur into eternity as you remain locked in each other's arms, a silent connection between your two souls. Yeosang withdraws slightly, but his hold remains, your arms still embracing his waist, his still encircling your shoulders.

Your gazes meet once again, mere inches apart, illuminated by the soft glow of the bedside lamp. Even in the dim light, you can discern the flush that colours his cheeks, an unreadable expression adorning his features. It's an unfamiliar emotion that leaps around in his eyes, neither embarrassment nor discomfort, but something entirely new, leaving you dizzy with curiosity.

For what feels like an eternity, the two of you engage in a silent exchange, locked in a gaze that renders you weak at the knees. And just when you think your heart couldn't flutter any faster, Yeosang breaks the silence with a confession that catches you off guard. His eyes remain fixed on yours, unwavering and sincere as he admits, "Your eyes are beautiful."

“Uh thank you.” You reply, cheeks growing even hotter than you thought they could go. You just know if Jisung would see you right now he would scream his lungs out.

Moving away from Yeosang, he momentarily wonders if he screwed up by saying those words, yet when he sees the sincere smile on your face, his worries melt away and he gets lost in your expression.

“Would you eat with me?” You question, hoping he will keep you company, the question of ‘did we know each other before college?’ slipping your mind completely.

---

Seated cross-legged on your bed, you relish the delicious food that Yeosang thoughtfully brought for you. Across from you, he sits on the edge of the bed, one leg tucked comfortably while the other dangles freely. His eyes never waver from you, captivated by the way you devour the meal with avid hunger, and a sense of relief washes over him. It's evident that you must have been starving, and he silently curses Yunho for denying you a proper meal earlier during the disastrous dinner. In this intimate moment, he seethes with anger at the thought of you being deprived of a simple joy you were so excited about, confirming his resolve to make up for it.

As you converse one-on-one with Yeosang, the opportunity to have a genuine heart-to-heart arises, a chance to connect without the distractions of others. The conversation flows effortlessly as you delve into the events of your day, sharing thoughts, dreams, and anything that comes to mind. It's in these moments that you notice a subtle transformation in Yeosang's demeanour. His eyes shimmer with a radiant passion whenever he talks about dance, and his voice releases a fresh energy when he discusses subjects close to his heart.

Discovering his love for reading piques your interest, knowing your mutual fondness for books. This realization sparks a lively conversation about favourite authors and cherished books. The genuine curiosity and engagement exchanged between the two of you ignites a flutter within your chest, relishing the ease with which you connect and share your passions with Yeosang.

Yeosang remains by your side until the very last piece of food disappears, his unwavering presence a testament to his attentiveness and care. Not a single crumb is left, and as you sink back into the comforting embrace of your pillows, the weight of the day begins to settle upon you. The heaviness of your eyelids is a gentle reminder that rest is calling, but before sleep claims you, you can't help but feel grateful for the precious moment spent with Yeosang.

“This is the book I was explaining earlier!” Yeosang exclaims, turning his phone to you to show the book he couldn’t remember the name of. However, when he looks up to you, he finds you snuggled into the pillow, your mouth slightly parted, eyes closed. Surprised, his eyes widen as he peers over your sleeping form. Yeosang’s heart swells, revelling in the fact that you felt comfortable enough to allow yourself to fall asleep.

Tucking you into your blanket, careful not to wake you up, he studies you once more, taking in all of your features. He notes each freckle and mole on your face, the way your eyelashes rest against the swell of your cheeks, your hair falling messily over the sheets.

Yeosang gracefully exits your room, a gentle smile adorning his face and a faint blush colouring his cheeks. The evening spent together was a significant milestone in your friendship, and he couldn't help but feel content that he had won the rock-paper-scissors with Wooyoung to order food for you. However, what catches him off guard is the sight of Yunho emerging from his own room simultaneously, intending to make a trip to the kitchen for a glass of water. In that moment, disappointment flickers across Yunho's eyes as he witnesses Yeosang leaving your room.

“Are you seriously cosying up to her?” Yunho’s voice is once again full of venom, not even realising the tone he’s using to talk to his close friend.

“I’m not having this conversation with you right now Yunho.” Exhausted by the taller male's behaviour, Yeosang attempts to walk past him, seeking to put some distance between them. However, his friend intercepts him, halting his steps and preventing him from moving forward.

“I’m being serious, how can you just let her in after everything we have been through?”

“You can’t hold this grudge up forever; she lives with us now.”

“You were the one who said, ‘we will never let outsiders in again’ what the fuck happened to that?”

“It’s ___ dude, she was never an outsider, and you know that damn well.”

“Are you seriously this desperate to get your dick wet that you’ve forgotten everything we have been through?”

“That’s not what this is about, you know that.” Yeosang pushes past Yunho and walks towards the kitchen, taking a seat down on the barstool. Yunho follows him, grabbing a glass from the designated cupboard.

“She may have saved Hwa, Yeosang, but the second she is given the opportunity to leave us she will, just like Ryu did.”

“I don’t understand why you are acting like this after everything she did to help us get back on our feet. She is nothing like her, you would know that if you gave yourself the chance to get to know ___.”

“I don’t understand why you are acting like this. This is exactly what happened with Ryu, she got close to us, just to take away everything.”

“Aren’t you tired of acting like a dickhead to everyone all the time?”

“We do this, so we don’t go through that ever again.” Yunho’s voice raises slightly, his voice starting to echo in the kitchen. “We have acted like this for years because that is the damn narrative that that bitch gave us.”

“Are you seriously telling me after all these years you aren’t tired of being this way just to avoid getting your heart broken? It’s a human thing, Yunho, we deserve love too.”

“You aren’t the one who had your entire heart ripped out of your chest.” Yunho’s voice is louder this time causing some restless heads in the house to shake awake.

“You know damn well my heart was crushed too.” This time Yeosang yells back at him, taking the tall man by surprise. Yeosang barely ever raises his voice, let alone it being directed toward someone, Yunho steps back a little. “I know what you had with her, you thought was special, but you can’t keep dwelling on it. ­­­Back when this all began, ___ was the only person willing to be kind. I know for a fact you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel even the smallest amount of love for her.” Yeosang’s voice is exasperated, begging towards his friend to stop the act he has up.

“Then what if I do love her?” Yunho’s voice cracks and Yeosang can see the tears starting to dwell in his eyes, causing him to soften slightly. Yunho continues, “there’s nothing stopping her from doing the same thing as Ryu the second Seonghwa’s dickhead of a father offers her the money to ruin us. She will leave us and our hearts, my heart will be broken again.” The tears in Yunho’s eyes fall onto the surface of the island, yet he doesn’t know whether they are from pure frustration or because the truth is starting to hit him like bricks.

“When we were KQ Fellaz, she knew we were trouble, she knew the rumours about us, she knew the danger she was putting herself in every time she stood up for us. When were all broken from the trauma and heart break she never once pressured us to talk about it, she never yelled at us when we yelled at her, she was never scared of us. Don’t tell me you don’t remember every time single fucking time she cleaned the wounds on your hands after getting in countless of unnecessary fights?” Yeosang runs his hands through his hair, frustrated by the sheer ignorance of his friend.

Yunho goes to speak but he gets cut off by Yeosang, who is half fuming half desperate. “She was kind to us without ever expecting anything in return, so stop letting your stupid prejudice against the human race blind you completely from what’s in front of you. If she was like Ryu, she would have let Seonghwa jump off that ledge.”

Yunho feels his heart drop as he remembers the sight of his older friend in such a fragile state, his only option to be to end it, him not being able to help the pain he was enduring.

“Please Yunho,” Yeosang’s voice is soft this time, nothing louder than a whisper, “just give her a chance.”

[ranhaitanisgf]

Hello, can we get cuddling and just sweet head canons with Souya? 🥹

a sweet day in!!

synopsis: how does souya like to cuddle with his s/o?

☆ a/n ˎˊ˗ hello anon thank you for requesting !! this is pretty short but sweet, so i dont have much to add ! hope you all enjoy and have an amazing day !! xoxo

☆ characters ˎˊ˗ souya [angry] kawata x g/n!reader

☆ wc ˎˊ˗ 700+

masterlist

❥ souya is 100% the little spoon most of the time, and this is not arguable!! he loves to be held in your arms, (although he’s very shy about admitting it) and he finds having your presence right behind him to be very comforting. this position sometimes changes when he turns around, in which he’ll wrap his arms around your waist and have his head tucked underneath your head, (his hair gets in your face, but you will never ever admit that to him). 

❥ he tends to slowly trace different shapes and words on your back, which can sometimes lead to impromptu naps when you really aren’t supposed to be napping, (usually leads to the two of you waking up in a panic when nahoya bangs on the door asking why you still haven’t gone home yet). 

❥ definitely mumbles random things in his sleep, which can be quite amusing to listen to. 

“...th..ramen…(y/n)...”  “huh? souya?”  “...no, the…pepper…”  “oh, okay.”

❥ absolutely adores whenever you play with his hair! he doesn’t care what you do with it whether you braid it, brush it, or just mess with it in general, he never wants you to stop. if you do stop, he won’t say anything, but he’ll have a bit of a frown and will put your hand back on his head in hopes that you’ll continue. 

❥ on the same note, he also likes to play with your hair as well! he’s extremely gentle with it because he doesn’t want there to be any chance of hurting you, so he’s either smoothing his hand over your hair or lightly massaging your scalp, (he doesn’t have a reason behind this aside from the fact that you seem to enjoy it). 

❥ it is a common occurrence for the two of you to be playing video games while cuddling! he’s specifically set up his ps2, gamecube and television in front of his bed, which makes for a perfect cuddling / gaming session! contrasting his usual little spoon position, he will actually sit you right between his legs and will tuck your head under his chin while the two of you play. 

❥ your go-to games are mario party, mario kart, and animal crossing, (for when the two of you are tired and want to play a relaxing game). surprisingly, you guys never really use the ps2, most of the games you two play being nintendo! 

❥ souya is very sweet, so the the most he will do when he is losing in a game is grumble under his breath and hold you a little bit tighter. he still enjoys every second of it though!

❥ in relation to this, the two of you will cuddle while doing almost any hobby such as this! it usually depends on your mood, but it can range from anything; gaming, reading manga, or eating snacks and watching a show. 

❥ he makes sure to be stocking up on all your favorite snacks because of this! 

❥ when the two of you are reading manga together, you usually have to read a little bit slower because souya likes to soak in all the little details and moments that happen. it ends up being useful whenever you get confused about what’s happening since he’s able to explain it to you perfectly! 

❥ he’s a bit shy about it, but he’ll plant small kisses on your face from time to time when you’re asleep, (he thinks your face is so kissable, but he gets embarrassed when he kisses you and you’re watching him). 

❥ when you’re asleep, he does his best to not move around and not make any sound. he knows that life and school can be stressful, so he feels grateful that you trust him so much to fall asleep around him. because of this, he will genuinely not move a muscle; he would rather he has numb limbs than have you wake up. 

❥ adding on to this, the only thing he will move for will be so he can very slowly grab his phone and text nahoya to shut up. 

ssouyaa.12: shh murdersmile: dont tell me 2 sh ssouyaa.12: (y/n) is sleeping murdersmile: smh

❥ nahoya thinks you two are cute, but gross at the same time, (he will protect you two with his life but also wants to punt you both like a kickball).

[rzyraffek]

This is my first time doing an ask, but I was wondering if I could request an ftm/ftnb reader x slasher fic (any character you think would fit/any character you want to add) where the reader has trouble breathing in the winter/cold and wearing their binder just makes it worse and their whole body is sore due to going up and down stairs so much so they can't keep up with the slashers longer strides and has to run after them.

Like, if the reader and the slashers were at the zoo or somewhere outside and the reader just started to take SUPER deep breaths just to be able to breathe normally or just to get air; especially after walking up or down stairs or hills.

And at one point the reader just gets tired of having to take so many deep breaths so they just go the the bathroom and take off their and layer two jackets over their shirt since they didn't bring an extra bra.

And like about 20 minutes later, reader STILL has to take super deep breaths just to actually breathe and having to run after the slashers just to be able to walk next to them; but with how sore reader is, they can't keep up with their partner and often has to take 3-minute breaks just to be able to catch their breath.

Remember binder users! You should wear them only up to 6hours daily! Dont ruin your ribcage!! I use to wear binder so yeah, I get it.

Anyways👹ofc i will write this!

So bacially, ftm s/o struggles with breathing due to binder and weather! You didn't specified which slashers so I will just go with flow on this one!

Slashers with s/o that struggles with breathing due to binder

Micheal Myers

Don't worry dude is used to noises of people choking to death lol

But fr dude gets a bit worried? He doesn't like how sometimes s/o has to take breaks just to breathe

If you guys are in rush and s/o has to take a break dude will just "hell nah fuck this" and pick s/o up

Micheal really doesn't care about gender or sex. Your a dude? 👍. There's no need to 'prove it' or look certain way for him to belive you

Brahms Heelshire

Dude fr will set a timer on his phone so s/o won't 'overdose' binder 😭

Erm honey you are starting to hyperventilate, its time for a break dont you think?

Brahms acually did his homework and read bunch of articles about binders and now he understands way more😊👍

Darling remember to exercise before and after you wear it so it less uncomfy

Finds s/o very cute and squishes them too hard sometimes

Billy Lenz

????

The fuck?Are you suffocating or something? *judges*

What feels worse? Wearing binder a bit too tight or billy sitting on your chest while your trying to sleep?

Bro doesn't understand what is "gender dysphoria" and tired to hide s/o binder once cuz he didnt trust it

Lucky for you Billy doesn't go outside, so you don't have to worry about him getting lost walking faster than you

What are pronouns?

Jason Voorhees

Oh Jason you big baby

Jason just feels bad, cuz he knows that s/o feels less cool without the binder but baby you cant breathe😭

Of course he will wait for s/o and he won't rush them at all!

Will try to convince s/o to not wear binder so often. Jason sees you as a perfect boufriend weather you wear it or no

Genuinely worried about s/o health

Asa Emory

Ah creature, why would you think that wearing binder for whole day was a good idea?

Dude is smart, he already knew what binders are!

He is aware that trans people often struggle with dysphoria and he can't just be like "dont wear a binder lol" so he tries to calming explain that nono honey you are a man even if you don't have a flat chest i love you

If he finds out that s/o whats a top surgery, Asa went "Alr bet" and then your bank account blew up

Funfact! If s/o was openly trans before they met Asa... dude was convinced that s/o just has severe asthma 😭 he was like ??? Uh do you have your inhalator with you?? Or like is it temporary???

👽guys I ate good chicken today. With sauce

Also im not sure if its good? I kinda forgot how to write entering stuff😭😰

[twagoes]

old man | richie jerimovich x reader -> written with a male reader in mind ! dont read/interact if uncomfy with that fact lmao

cw: cursing, duh it's richie, uhm age gap relationship hence the title being "old man"...., richie is insecure bc of his age and u soften him up <3, suggestive comment here and there (i think it was a total of one or two),

“what the fuck is this shit even supposed to do?” richie complains, but you can't take him seriously with the way he's so focused on applying the face mask.

“y’know, it does the shit,” you reply, obviously not thinking it important to explain to your boyfriend who really doesn't care or see it as a threat.

“wow, so we are basically lathering ourselves in deadly chemicals and not asking why now? okay, okay, cool,” he tips his hand back into the mixture and bumps your hip with his, “hey, i better wash this off looking like look a fucking newborn baby.”

you turn to look at him, going on your tippy toes to kiss his neck in a quick peck, “you won't, but that's okay because i like your scruffy look - it suits you,” you wash your hands as he just sighs at your sweet compliment that he simply doesn't know how to react to. he's still not used to receiving such sweet words, practically daily. it’s been a while since he's felt such love. it really does make him feel flustered.

which is why he doesn't mind entertaining these little things you suggest to do as a couple that he genuinely has no clue about.

“c’mon, baby, let's let this dry then wash it off,” you take his bigger hand in yours, guiding him to the living where you plopped onto the couch. he takes a seat beside you, propping his leg up on the coffee table and resting his arm behind you on the couch. you casually throw your leg over his as you grab the remote.

he smiles as you put on his favorite show, knowing you're trying hard to appease him to make up for this silly face mask debacle.

“wait, come closer,” you shuffle where you sit, leaning your face so close to his and he playfully rolls his eyes when he sees the reason why.

“always on your damn phone.” he grumbles, but he doesn’t shift away even though he very easily could do so.

“woah, that was a good dad one-liner, kinda giving me trauma,” you shoot back, flicking his forehead and positioning your camera again, “smile or i’ll kill you,”

he squeezed your hip, “so romantic,”

you smile for the camera as he makes a deadpan expression. you take multiple and eventually he finds himself smiling too, happy to see you so happy.

“aww, you're so cute,” you coo, getting comfortable in his arms again and scrolling through the different photos you've taken.

he watches over your shoulder, a feeling of pride swell in his chest as he sees you send it to a group chat with your friends as well as your personal favorite making it to your public instagram story. he didn’t really use his social media, but he knew how active you were on it, so knowing that you were sharing your relationship so openly on there made him feel proud and just generally happy.

to know that you don’t hesitate to show that you’re his and he’s yours. it makes him feel like a teenager in love all over again.

after the face mask dries down, you tell him it’s time to wash it off and he complies with zero complaints. it’s quiet as you wash it all away, laughing when you see he missed a big portion near his hairline. it almost ends in you two just throwing water at each other since you accidentally almost drowned him with a rough splash to his face. but after apologizing and kissing him repeatedly, he refrained from counter attacking you.

now, it was seriously time for bed and richie clung tightly to your side. for his tall and long stature, he sure was unaware of it. or, rather, chose to ignore it as he practically suffocated you with his leg over your stomach and arms over your chest.

“baby, i can barely breathe here,” you speak in a rushed down, letting out an exaggerated wheeze as you breathe out. he shakes his head, kissing your shoulder and stubbornly doesn’t move from his position. “i love you so much, but i do want to wake up tomorrow morning, please.”

he groans childishly before moving himself off of you and shifts to give you some space.

“i didn’t say completely back off, idiot,” you move in to him, resting your head on his shoulder and hugging his waist, “just wanted your heavy ass leg to stop suffocating me, love,”

“so you’re calling me fat?” he shoots back, making you chuckle.

“shut up, you know what i mean,” he watches as your hand travels down his chest, to the bottom of his shirt. and you hesitate for a moment, for reasons he doesn’t know, before moving your soft hand to touch his stomach. you glide your hand up and down several times, smiling at the feeling of the short hair he has on his abdomen.

he moves his thumb and down your shoulder, clearing his throat before speaking, “can i ask you something?”

“of course,” you reply in a heartbeat, your hand not faltering in its soft movements.

“why are you with an old guy like me?” it’s a question he’s had in the back of his mind ever since you two started seeing each other. “you…you’re so amazing and so young, you got your whole life ahead of you,” he sighs, lifting his head off of the pillow and looking down at your now confused face, “don’t you ever get tired of dealing with an old man that doesn’t even know what a face mask is? can’t do all the cute couple-y shit a young person could do?”

you’re immediately sitting upright, a sad smile on your face, “richie, please, don’t think like that,” he looks at you with a tired expression, finding your comment a deflection rather than a proper answer. and he feels uncomfortable asking something of you, but he needs to know. because it has been slowly eating away at him. “i mean it, richard. don’t let those bullshit ideas get to your head.”

you cup his face in your hands, making him hold your wrist in a soft grip. your eyes seem to have gotten teary, for whatever reason and he frowns at the sight.

“i love you so much, i love every second we spend together. those are not wasted seconds to me, richie. i am not wasting my time or anything like that by being in a relationship with you. and! i don’t care whether or not you’re old or if you don't understand certain things. i could give less than two shits about stuff like that,” you both laugh at that, but the smile still isn’t reaching your eyes.

“easier said than done, babe,” he sighs, looking down, but you immediately redirect his eyes to meet yours once again.

“i know it must be, but seriously, i mean it when i say: i don’t care about how old you are, richie, all i know is that i love you. i love us,” you kiss him softly and he melts into the affection, feeling you smile against his lips, “you said how my life is just beginning and i got all of it ahead of me?” he nods against your forehead, “well, i see myself spending the rest of my life with you. i can’t imagine myself in the future without you, richie,”

“i do too, baby, i do too,” he admits, sincerity in his deep blue eyes, “i just don’t want you regretting-“

“richie, i could never regret anything if it involves you, our relationship, us. this is the best thing to happen to me,” you laugh as if it’s an easy topic to brush off, but it’s genuine and raw.

“i love you,” he confessed after playing with your fingers for a couple of seconds, “love you too much, it scares me,”

“you can go on and keep telling me how much you love me,” you tease, scooting closer and smoothing out his short hair underneath your hand, “no, seriously, i love hearing you say it,”

“i love you,” he repeats in an instant, smiling wide to see you get ever so slightly flustered, “i love you so much,” he takes in how handsome you look, tracing your cheek with the back of his fingers. he smiles as you lean in closer, tilting his head up to maintain eye contact.

“i love you too,” and then you’re kissing again, smiling into each other. your hand cups over his jaw and stubble as his rests on your waist.

“love you more,” he mumbles against your lips. you break out into laughter, pushing him down onto the bed.

“i love you the most,”

“alright, shut the fuck up now,” he brings you down to rest directly on his chest. “can’t keep doing this back and forth shit with you, i love you to infinity or whatever the fuck. do kids even say that nowadays?”

you smile so easily with richie, it makes you eternally grateful how lucky you got.

“oh and by the way,” you turn so your chin is resting on his chest and he hums in response, looking down at you, “don’t keep referring to yourself as an old man likes it’s bad. i love it about you, you’re perfect and mature and not a complete jack off like every other man i’ve met,”

he takes in your words for a moment before nodding, succumbing to the cute pleading look in your eyes, “alright, you’re the bossman. won’t happen again.” you were about to leave it at that, satisfied with his compliance. but then you decided to amp it up a little bit more, wanting to make your boyfriend as comfortable and confident as possible.

“your age also makes you sexier than anyone else i’ve ever met too, soooo,” your voice trails off as he smirks, giggling at the way his facial expression practically flipped. stroking his ego always put him in a good mood. plus, you never lied when you did it.

“oh, is it really?” he cups your face, hand resting underneath your chin as his thumb and pointer finger gently squeeze your cheeks.

“it really is,” you affirm, making him feel even more pleased and comfortable in himself. “i love a man with experience, y’know,”

“hm, wouldn’t have been able to guess that one,” he teases, winking to allude to your many, many nights together.

“oh, shut up, you old fuck,”

“woah! way to kill the mood! weren’t we supposed to not be calling me that anymore?” his signature laugh fills the room at your comeback, squishing your cheeks together before gently pushing your face to the side.

“no, just you and anyone else, i’m still allowed to — because i do it lovingly!” you justify, a grin evident on your face with some hint of mischievousness in your eyes.

“sooo lovingly! i love when you call me an old fuck, really has my heart skippin’ beats, baby,” his voice drips with sarcasm, but no hint of being genuinely hurt by your words. he’s been reassured securely in how you truly don’t mind his age, so he doesn’t feel doubt or paranoia creep in anymore when you call him “old” in any context.

you kiss his scruffy cheek, “i’ll kill anyone that calls you old, though, you just tell me and i’ll take care of them, i swear to go-“

“alright, alright, i get it, let’s just go to bed now,” he teases, kissing the top of your head that’s resting on his chest again. right where it belongs.

“i’m serious, y’know?”

“i know you are, sweetheart, and if that time ever comes, i’ll lend you my piece so you can properly take care of ‘em,” you chuckle and kiss his chest before letting your eyes flutter shut.

and the both of you fell asleep cuddled into each other with content smiles on your faces. unknowingly dreaming of the same thing: a future together, side by side.

[fictionfixations]

my thoughts on bridon arc ep 2 (i was late to this cause i was converting someone into getting into link click hehehehe)

i find it funny how we ALL thought the person liu xiao was playing russian roulette with was lu guang and then it was just NOT

liu xiao power being to hear ppls heartbeats huh. idk if its possible to control your heartbeat at all but while he was explaining that it cant lie or something i just kept thinking to the stuff in other fiction ive seen where they do just that 😭😭😭like 'oh, you thought i died? i was just pretending i died by making my heart flatline!' (for like minutes tho wtf doesnt that affect the brain or something after a few minutes??) or 'so i can send messages through my heartbeat cause i control it--'

also oh my god lmfao lmfao

HANDS ahhh theyre so silly i love them so much dhauidhiuhds

lmao

lu guang noticing the envelope is gone...

WHAT

about to repeat history we see last timeline then suddenly they both get a notification from their phone

..at the exact same time?

..the conversation doesnt happen this time because they got interrupted. does that mean liu xiao didnt do what he did the last timeline?

it seemed like hed been trying to get information about xiaoshis dad

maybe idk i need to rewatch

is that a 'what is going on' face from lu guang or has he seen this before i genuinely cant tell

xiaoshis mom doesnt want him to go to bridon?

wait wait what if his mom is 'aunt shao' qiao ling mentioned??

oh no buddy...

im begging you dont hold it over the edge i am always terrified of dropping shit please this is making me so anxious

i love them so much fhesiudhfuisfhesiuhfui

not the lu guang suddenly drowning jumpscare

WHAT THE

look at the goofy guy dreaming of lu guang in his sleep

literal chills

is this like. lu guang trying to keep such a tight grip on time to prevent anything from changing to how it went originally? or is like.. strings of fate. this is what happened so it has to happen again except some things are changing but things will stay the same.. right..?

or OH he grabbed it and ripped it

WAIT DID THEY DIE IN BRIDON??? OR SOMETHING?????

oh no i mean we know they made it cause this is prequel but like

oh god

after credit scene again

No

vein in bridon

NO

NOOOOOO

DONT YOU GRIN

even if he doesnt do anything lu guang is still gonna be stressed the fuck out :((

[7nessasaryevils]

I'm back with things that made me clutch my chest, snap my neck, scream into the void etc etc... from ep 6 of Wandee Goodday.

Settle in my loves, we're in for one heck of a ride!

- starting us off strong with Yak waking up Dee, pouting about them not being able to see each other for a week because of the training camp, THE HEAD RUFFLE AND FOREHEAD KISS.... HELP ME IM GOING TO KILL THEM

- we're also back to the elephant pants and I cannot describe my happiness at seeing Yak wearing something that makes him comfortable while being with Dee

- that whole fucking montage... look at these domestic "we're just fuck buddies" assholes. Gentlemen, you wouldn't know "fuck buddies" if they were sucking your dick....

- TOOTHBRUSHES SIDE BY SIDE

- HES WEARING THE NECKLACE

- I had to physically stop myself from smacking my head into a wall at Yak's "I see you (Dee) more than I see her (Taem)" .... insert Scar's imsurroundedbyidiots.gif

- I love the way Dee thinks that Yoryak has no weakness? He genuinely seems surprised that Yak needs to go get trained 🥹🥹 also how worried he is when Yak explains his first loss...

- here's me toasting you Khun Yak for that sex joke 🤣👍🏽

-Patpran would be so proud... BET ERA MY BELOVED (if they fist bump I'll scream... oh phooey they didn't)

- them texting each other about their day... gwenchana gwenchana 😭😭😭

- I guess Oishi GreenTea is not sponsoring them 😅🤣

- Yak and Yei... just that scene...

- dee on the couch... quite obviously missing Yak... you dumbass ♥️🥺

- HE LEFT HIS PANTS THE- HE LEAVES CLOTHES AT DEE'S PLACE YOU DUMBASSES ARE SO INTO BOYFRIEND TERRITORY ITS OBVIOUS TO PLUTO!!

- that change in perspective... Golf... I see you and your masterful brain 👀👀👀

- HES WEARING THE PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNTTTTTTSSSSSSS

- Dee making a mess on the mirror on purpose (I'm not crying I'm NOT)

- sweetheart... you're in love with Yoryak... 🥹🥺♥️

- Cher? My darling? Give Yei a really good blowjob when he comes back because your hubby is fucking SMART (also yak and yei sleeping on a bed together... adorable sibling behaviour)

- me when Yak walks outside: ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh wandee is gonna show up he's gonna show up he lost the bet he's gon- OHHHHH YAK CLOSED HIS EYES AND WHEN HE OPENS THEM DEE WILL BE THERE!!!!

- me when i turned out to be right:

- "the atmosphere here is nice." "It got even better with you here." SOMEBODY SEDATE ME!

- hey pot? I believe the kettle is calling you black.

- give me a kiss... look at these two idi-

- you know when you have to put your phone down because you cannot believe the audacity? Yeah... that's me when Yak points right to his lips. Sir. You dumbass.

- my knees just gave out

- nobody hold me back im about my plant my foot into Ter's face

- KAAAAAAOOOOOOO HI BABY!!

- oh no. Oh no no no no. This is one time I do NOT WANT a whole "oh there's only one bed"!!!!

- side note: is this what happened with Billy and Babe when they went to Japan? 🤔🤔 thank you Kao 🤣♥️

- forget my foot. I'm dropping a fucking ANVIL on this asshole's face- where does Ter get off making decisions for Dee???

- DONT KISS HIM BACK OFF STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER YAK HELP!!! (edit: two mins later I was even more pissed off because Ter knows that Dee has a boyfriend, "fake" as it is, and he still tried to kiss Dee! This dickhead!!!)

- WELL DONE DEE!

- well done P'Golf!! HPV knowledge my beloved ♥️♥️

- Dee no!!! Don't think about that horse-faced dick doctor (if I had a quarter every time I said that, I'd have two quarters only... but weird for it to happen twice - fuck you Dr. Charlatan!!!)

- YAK! Come get your man!!

- I'm all for you two seeing each other again but NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET THATS HOW WE DIE!!! MOVE YOU DUMB GAYS! (Edit: Kay but now think of the fact that Dee is terrified of crossing the street and how easily he does it when it's Yak he's walking to...this is okay I'm okay I'm so okay)

- love and the city... p'golf you fucking genius

- kisses in the stairwell... gods they really want me to choke don't they?

- second time I had to put my phone down... Yoryak... I'm this close to drop-kicking you across the country

- my body is yours... and so is your heart you idiot get to that realization faster!!! Pat would be so disappointed!

- Kao coming in with those truths... my utmost respect for you sir 🫡🫡

- oh shit...

- TAEM YOU QUEEN YES!!

- DEE YOU DUMBASS NO!

- hats off to Cher and Yei being adorable and happy in their sex lives which includes phone sex!!! We approve!!!

- the side by side!!!! Interesting to think of it as a couple making love vs. a couple fucking but it's actually two couples in love... awww

- OYEI AND CHER LIP KISS THANK YOU P'GOLF!!!!

- Kao. Sir. I'm erecting temples in your honour. Making merit. Fasting. Praying for you to find someone who loves you the way you want to be loved. I'm doing it all for you because you fucking deserve it.

- the pink on Dee's face... sweetheart you're so in love with him 🥺🥺

- GROUP DATE!!!! And our resident idiot gays are in matching pants.... lord gimme strength

- feeding each oth- breathe Nessie breathe. The idiots know not how they hurt you.

- Yak recognizing that something's going on between Yei and Cher is such a lovely thing. Now if only he could realize stuff about himself and Dee!

- third time I put down my phone... but to cry because Yak remembers Dee's fear and holds his hand I'm fucking fine don't touch me

- oh no... Yei you got yourself mixed up with loan sharks! honey no!

- yak comparing the pics of him, Cher, Yei and Dee to the family picture... this epsiode really said we're going to stomp on your heart Nessie...

- they're still holding hands... fuck

- I'm begging whatever deity is listening to me: please don't let there be a scene where Dee tells the public about yak's secret place

- one more word and I'll kiss you... on the lips. (Okay but the fact that he says this and still thinks he might be in love with Taem makes me feel like this 👇🏽

- Yei you utter romantic sap 🥹🥹🥹🥹🫡

- the story of how Yei and Cher met... fucking fuck 😭😭😭

- and then ending it off with Dee knowing that no matter what his feelings, the fact that Yak is the only person who makes him feel at ease... FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK

this epsiode came for my whole existence and the next one... the next one is gonna have me on the floor THANKS!

[simplepotatofarmer]

This is just me but something I was a bit worried about for a while is that there might be some bitterness between the Dream fans and other people in the mcyt fandom. Like I get it, some of the people there were awful and did whole harassment campaigns. But…I don’t know sometimes I go to some blog and find a bitter post about a qsmp or some of the mcyt people and o get a bit worried that some might lash out against them. Like yeah they’re not perfect and I get why they’re angry. But sometimes I worried that some people might take it too far and end up doing the same as the antis. sorry if it dont makes sense but this is just me

I mean, you've got to understand that we went through over a year of not just false accusations (which people still spread despite being disproven and despite understanding how terrible false accusations are especially after recent events) but through absolutely awful harassment that hasn't stopped.

there's lies that are spread (dream had airhorns playing during the 'uieud' video?? which did not happen), people supporting not just assault but ableism, homophobia, and antisemitism solely because the 'other side' was dream, and people making posts in mcytblr spheres talking about how dteam fans should die.

and then as an ojibwe person who was watching the qsmp, it was awful and disappointing to see that all go down and to feel genuinely scared and unheard when voicing my feelings on it. and that's just one event, that's not counting being forced to leave discord servers or feeling unwelcome in them.

i don't know how to explain how bad it is. just recently a large mcyt blog made a post about chasing off dream fans:

if there's bitterness, trust me, we'd rather there not be! we'd love to just be able to exist but it's not possible half the time.

things are getting better but man. i lost friends for venting about being harassed because they were more focused on how i was venting.

none of us want this. every single person i know would love for it to go back to how it was.

and i get what you're saying. i do think people take it too far sometimes. i'm absolutely against that kind of thing. i do understand, though, how deeply hurt people are. and i think there's a level of hypocrisy that happens where it's okay to lash out at and make pretty awful jokes about dream and his fans and when one of his fans calls something out, it becomes 'petty fandom drama'. like getting my concerns about racism on a server i was actively watching (and still do for people like niki) dismissed as 'well you don't like the server because you're a dream fan so of course' sucked. or people making jokes about death threats, stalking, and SA threats being called out becomes drama, y'know?

basically, i don't know man. it sucks. i had to change my phone number. i had threats made against my kids and pets. and a lot of it was dismissed so i'm not surprised there's bitterness. people were deeply hurt. people are upset at some of the hypocrisy shown (it's okay for this cc to do xyz but things from years ago are still brought up re: dream).

which means, yeah, sometimes they do take it too far and i don't like it and i think it's become this very toxic cycle that's probably never gonna stop until people just. leave things alone, y'know?

and stop thinking there's an 'acceptable' target for harassment because there's not.

i know you get it, though, and i appreciate that. i really wish other people would be as understanding.

[crguang]

Okay sat, I might’ve forgotten to my anon mark at the end of my last message aand I’ve reread part 4 like 5 times, but still, 

what the fuck, literally was thinking abt it in all my classes. And I will be yapping, as I guessed.

First of all, fuck Kafka really wish I was tbh she is so annoying, like just assuming r isn’t that upset, like they’re just having a little argument when r is grappling w the fact that they fell for a criminal, and literally killed their coworkers and a ton of other people, she is pissing me off. Also the stuff abt Kafka and her nihilism…giving me some thoughts. Btw have himeko and Kafka encountered each other in this, or has Himeko just heard abt her? And shes so nice, calling r everyday and being so understanding…

I can’t imagine what Kafka did when she found out she got blocked. Her going to text u and then realizing she’s blocked…kafka pausing when she sees that r blocked her. Kafka waiting to get unblocked as she orders gifts for u, who keeps checking her phone for messages from u as she sends more gifts, reminiscing abt when your first met in the store, silver wolf and blade noticing how Kafka seems to be waiting for smth, Kafka who decides to text you on an encrypted number to see how you’re doing, Kafka who sees that she isn’t forgiven and orders so many fucking flowers bc she didn’t know ur favorite. Ugh I can imagine her bringing all of them into r’s house, god she’s pathetic, I need to kiss her so bad so she shuts the fuck up.

anyway I may or may not have started writing a Kafka fic 👀 tbh I don’t rlly read romance novels so idk how the typical academic rivals thing usually works, trope wise. For some reason I keep fixating on her fucking nails. Like to me, she has them manicured all fancy, but Im fairly certain shorter not manicured nails are better for fingering. On her violin ofc, obviously. I played cello middle and high school, and I kept them long, bc I liked scratching people don’t ask I was a strange kid, but I feel like she’d keep them short bc she’s rlly serious abt it. Also Kafka is so dislikable, her ego is so big, and she’s always calm, like if she didn’t look like she was trying and still top of the class it’d piss me off too 😭

Also in the wardence event rn, I haven’t played it bc I’ve been sleeping or smth like that, but silver wolf shows up 😭 like ik it makes the most sense, since she has holograms but Kafka showed up as a hologram once ok 😭 but what silver said is like “i heard u we’re joining the wardence, and two whose names I won’t mention insisted I go check on you. Why couldn’t they do it themselves.” Ugh Kafka is so obvious it’s actually gonna kill me. And yes wtf couldn’t Kafka have showed up, she’s worth like 11 billion, so ik she can’t show up all the but cmon. 

-🌠

hehfjfjgjfjfj posting a new chapter and having ppl go “man fuck kafka” is funny as hell because honestly, yeah, fuck her😭 i think it was important for me to portray how her personality can be irritating in certain contexts and how being with her really wouldn’t be bliss all the time cause she doesn’t deal with emotions much, and that includes others’. she’s not totally detached from them which is why she does try but it’s very clumsy. it’ll be elaborated on in the next part but in her mind she really has picked the best outcome here and even if she was acting in her own interest, she was protecting R, she’s just an information hoarder. being on the opposite side means you dont know wtf is going on in her head and cant explain her behavior as anything else but “she doesn’t give a shit about me”. it’s an interesting situation to write that’s for sure but im glad that her efforts, though genuine, make yall feel irritated bc thats the point hehe

what i wrote about kafka’s nihilism was not entirely true, and i did it on purpose because R doesn’t know her. i do think that nihilism/finality creates a certain distance between her and accountability. when you tell yourself that this outcome was always a possibility, that it could have happened anyway, the choice you make is no longer fully yours which means that the consequences aren’t fully on your shoulders as well. i think that makes it easier for the stellaron hunters to do what they do, that and the goal they’re working towards that is supposedly the best outcome for humanity. but kafka is anything but passive. she is not “subjected” to things, she has an active role in her future and the ones of the millions of people that it touches within the constraints of destiny. i think with nihilism it’s easy to fall into a state of learned helplessness, where you suffer through the things happening to you because “nothing matters” and “it was going to happen anyway”, but kafka is not like that at all. “if destiny doesn’t propel me forward, i’ll be the one to push destiny”— this is what she does, so describing her as a drop in the ocean isnt entirely accurate because she’s making waves. R will learn that

himeko and kafka have crossed paths canonically before the trailblazer so it’s the same in this. i like that himeko has an opinion of kafka that has been cemented through their brief meetings over the time. in that one “keeping up with star rail” where kafka’s kit is presented, hime has a lot of shit to say about her 😭 all bad. she’s also aware that kafka plays mind games in it so really for her to hear “kafka manipulated me” was like “fork found in kitchen” there��s no surprise there. one of my favorite qualities in hime is her understanding and ability to understand multiple perspectives at once, it develops her already deep empathy and its just very admirable. shes a very soft character, i love her

AND YESSSSS SHE DEFINITELY REACTED LIKE THAT TO BEING BLOCKED HDJFJFKKG she stared at her phone like “oh. they’re really mad” and decided to give them a few days to cool off which is why she sent the first gift and after that she’d be wondering whether to text you or not for like a week; would open her phone, type in your number, pause for ten seconds then go “they’re probably still upset” and send another gift. silver wolf would be like “damn youre on your phone as often as i am. whats wrong with you” and firefly’s eventually the one telling her to go there herself to apologize and not wtv tf shes doing which is why kafka finally texts 😭 shes funny asf. the sheer ridiculousness of ordering hundreds of flowers and taking over half an hour to place them inside your apartment (that she technically broke into) to surprise you is so patheticcccc i would have swooned a bit im sorry. like omg youre pathetic get out of my house but also kiss me before you go… “forget it i’ll just get all of them” can she die 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

aaaaa im glad you have time to write the academic rivals au!! typically people have the rivals work together in some sort of assigned group project to force them to interact together but you can go about it differently, like one of them’s practicing for a big piece and the other gets to the practice room too late but but the others are taken and they have to practice the same thing anyway so might as well. or the mc is struggling and kafka happens to pass by and give her some (snarky) pointers which turns into her showing her how its done and the mc actually learning from her (which would make me homicidal). they could also just happen to meet outside of the school context and start developing a new relationship that way. do what feels right!! and yeah, kafka’s nonchalance makes it seem like shes effortlessly good when in reality she takes that shit seriously and practices often😭 it’d still piss me off tho idc

silver wolf showed up in the other event and its just so ridiculous how they always have her everywhere man😭 like fine she’s always keeping up with new games coming out and shit but would it kill them to show kafka once im gonna tear my hair out, we even got to text firefly during the wardance like im gonna screammmm. but kafka and her sending SW to check ip on the tb is so stupid they care so bad😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 typical of kafka not to show or text herself i need to strangle her. the lufou hates her tho so it’s WHATEVER.

[compassionatereminders]

Good news about google drive: many people do not know what it is or how to use it. I work with a lot of people like this. They have been working for a long time and they are brilliant- just not great with technology.

Google drive is cloud storage. If you have ever saved files to your computer, moved them from the default downloads folder, and renamed them, then you have the basic idea of how to work google drive. The big difference is that files on your computer are stored on Your Harddrive inside your computer and that files saved to google drive or any cloud-based storage option are stored remotely on a bank of servers Somewhere Else. But in theory even if something happens to your computer, your files on google drive are perfectly fine.

Also you can access them from anywhere.

The thing that people in businesses like google drive for (aside from being able to work on files from anywhere) is that you can share files with other people while still maintaining ownership of the file.

You can decide what level of permission people have. So you can let people view a file, or comment, or edit it.

Dont give other people manager access to your files. Your drive is like your personal filing cabinet. Nobody else needs a key to your filing cabinet but you.

If you need to use a "shared" drive its just the digital equivalent of a filing cabinet everyone has access to. Multiple people can have keys and get in - even if you arent the one letting them in.

We use shared drives at work so that multiple employees can upload, rename, and delete files, and so that they can add data to the documents inside without making a whole new copy.

Anyway i hope i dont sound super condescending- i just have a lot of experience with it and those explainations have helped a few folks at work understand.

If you have use google docs and google sheets, those are just google's version of a word processor and a spreadsheet/accounting software. So microsoft word and microsoft excel.

Google actually has some courses that can walk you through some of the functionality and there are definitely some video tutorials on youtube if thats more your thing.

Hopefully that helps?

Anyway my original point was: dont even worry about not knowing how to use google drive or what it is. You're definitely not the only one and if you are so inclined, there are thinga that can help you learn.

Can I have it on my phone though? Because I genuinely don't own a computer at the moment...