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tenebriskukris · 7 months ago

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Oshi No Ko Chapter 151 - My Thoughts/Analysis

It’s another setup chapter but we’re still in the beginning of a new arc so that’s to be expected. As always, spoilers for Oshi No Ko Ch 151 below.

The chapter starts with what I can only describe as the narrative glazing Kana’s acting skills. Aside from the fact that it shows that she’s recently premiered in that movie that Shima directed, it really isn’t necessary. The timeline of this manga has always been stuck in some nebulous mess of uncertainty for long enough that it could have been inserted anywhere within the last few chapters or so with ease.

Of course this entire montage of showing how good Kana’s acting ability actually is would ring a lot more true if she didn’t whore herself out to Shima in order to get a role. Much as I dislike how that entire situation went for Kana—and so much of that small mini arc in general—it undercuts Kana’s skills as an actor if her big break was because of Shima taking pity on Kana. Akane and Ruby were able to secure acting jobs without going to those lengths and were able to reach greater heights of popularity without it, so why can’t Kana achieve those same heights without couch casting?

Now that I think about it, I don’t think we’ve actually seen Kana get a role through her own efforts alone. The Sweet Today role was because Kaburagi was taking advantage of Kana in general as an actor; her role in Tokyo Blade was because he wanted to play both Kana and Akane off of each other, and even her role in the movie was because Kaburagi pulled some strings to get her on board. Even the intermission that focused on Kana and Akane basically reeked of industry nepotism, and I don’t need to reiterate what Kana was about to do to secure a role from Shima.

My thoughts on Kana’s acting ability aside, we settle on Kana and Aqua’s “date”. Kana wearing her old uniform even after she’s graduated is uh—a choice. That’s certainly some form of cosplay.

Aqua being surprised that this entire meeting is a date is—well. Kana I think if you want to actually make a play for Aqua you need to actually tell this shit to him beforehand. As far as he knows this is a casual outing with one of his friends. I expected her to do something a bit different when faced with the prospect of actually wooing Aqua, more specifically trying to actually take steps to woo him. Maybe I gave Kana too much credit. Akane’s manipulations aside, she hasn’t intentionally taken many steps to actually steer Aqua into considering her as a romantic partner in the series.

The baseball scene??? Now that’s a callback. I’m starting to see where Kana is heading with this whole mess. While Kana may look back at that time as a casual moment between two like minded people, it’s also the time where Aqua tried to vent some of his frustrations of his own Issues(™) and Kana quite easily rebuked them in favor of talking about romantic prospects. After that encounter, it doesn’t escape my gaze that Aqua hasn’t talked to Kana about his own Issues unless heavily pressed.

Oooooh future talk. Kind of hypocritical from the child actor that didn’t take steps to get into college to press people about their own future, but I don’t mean to pick at an old wound since it’s the equivalent of Kana making small talk. And Aqua’s thinking of applying to medical school??? We’d seen some similar implications go through his head during one of the interludes, but it’s nice to finally get some form of confirmation that he’s at least thought about a life after his revenge—even if he is just saying this to get Kana off his back.

Kana unintentionally dredging up Aqua’s trauma with her whole speech here. It’s a sight better than how she intentionally triggered him in Tokyo Blade, but I’m sure that doesn’t make Aqua feel much better.

Aqua covering his face when confronted with Kana’s insight is cute, I gotta admit. The fact that it hides his star eyes in this panel here is also noteworthy.

That dream came true when I was five years old. And Kana suffered through a dry spell in spite of it—or arguably because of it. Perhaps she can look at things with hindsight now that she’s managed to carve out a certain niche for herself in the industry but we know that Kana isn’t there just yet. Frill is a perfect example of what someone at the top of the industry looks like, and I don’t think anyone else in our cast aside from maybe Taiki is there just yet. One good movie and a small hint of stardom does not a national actress make.

In fairness to Kana, her saying that she’s achieved her dream is a very in-character thing for her to do. Time and time again we’ve seen her immaturity and naivete undercut everything she sets out to achieve. Her inability to realize that she was being taken advantage of by Kaburagi in the earlier parts of the manga; the fact that she wasn’t able to remain professional with Aqua when he was avoiding her; her attempts to secure a role with Shima despite knowing his nature full well—the list goes on. If she really thinks that she’s become a national actress after tasting just a hint of success then that just plays into Kana’s faults even further.

I have a new dream now. I want to be the only person you look at. I couldn’t quite help but laugh as soon as Kana said this. Okay Kana, you want to be Aqua's idol? What have you done to actually achieve that? Because you have some gigantic shoes to fill in the form of Ai and Rubysarina. Her entire arc throughout the story has been towards actually being a successful actress, so this pivot leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t even like Kana as a character and I’m complaining that this entire interaction did her dirty!

The fact that Aqua didn’t even catch Kana’s baseball when she’s said this has to be some of the most godawful hit you over the head symbolism I’ve even seen from the series. There are college writing students out there that wouldn’t pull stuff like this even if they were held up at gunpoint! You’d think that an actual published series like this would have editors that strike this shit down but apparently not.

It’s not because of the fact that this metaphor it’s simple that irks me as much as it does. It’s the fact that it’s so obvious that it basically spells out that Kana’s attempts at trying to become Aqua’s star are going to be flushed down the toilet. In terms of being an idol, Kana hasn’t done anything else to engender Aqua’s devotion. As Aqua’s friend, she’s certainly become an important aspect of his life, but not so much in terms of being an idol. She does not inspire or drive Aqua’s motivations in the way an idol should—at least in my opinion.

What a fucking chapter. I’m just glad there isn’t a break next week so we can quickly see how this mess is going to turn out. At this point I just want some goddamn consequences to happen to Kana so having her lose Aqua basically sitting on her hands for the entire series is some good fucking karma. Crying and bitching about one’s love life constantly is absolutely not the characteristic of someone going to win it all as the series reaches its endgame.

I was actually surprised that there was so much talk about Kana grabbing death flags in this chapter. I mean, really, it’s like everyone forgot that most of the main cast has contractual immortality until after the interviews. Even then, Kana really hasn’t been important enough to the story since Tokyo Blade to justify any purpose of her dying aside from shock value. Even if there was something like that planned out for the next few chapters, the tension is going to be undercut knowing that most of the main cast is going to survive without any issue.

Once again the elephant in the room has to be Ruby. It’s kind of difficult to root for Kana in this instance—even besides all the reasons I’d listed so far—because we still don’t know what Aqua thinks about the kiss in Chapter 143. Anything regarding romance is stuck in a pool of indecision since that chapter and it simultaneously undercuts everything the narrative is trying to even do with Kana and Akane’s efforts to woo Aqua while leaving the actual plot of the story on the wayside. I just hope that we’ll be getting a peek into Aqua’s head while we’re unfortunately saddled back in with this romance plotline.

#oshi no ko #onk #onk analysis #oshi no ko analysis #onk spoilers #onk 151 #new arc same bullshit

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marleneismydopamine · 2 years ago

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marlene mckinnon headcanons

- takes the longest showers either cause she’s either singing every song she can think of, having those weird shower thoughts or having an existential crisis

- doesn’t really describe herself as feminine or masculine

- like people will ask her “are you a butch lesbian or a femme lesbian” and she’s just “lesbian”

- middle child

- used to play the trumpet but kinda lost it as she got older so now she still has her old trumpet and when she felt like being annoying she would just play it terribly

- hates tomatoes but loves ketchup

- always cracks her knuckles

- is an optimist or a pessimist depending on how she’s feeling that day

- like sometimes she’ll just be worst case scenario thinking constantly and other times she’s just “you know what? everythings gonna work out fine”

- her favourite genre of music is indie rock

- her guilty pleasure movies are like slasher movies that have a really generic killer

- Religious Trauma™

- double jointed in her elbow and likes to freak people out with it

- used to have really long hair because her mum liked it long and refused to let her cut it but marlene hated it and would only wear it in a ponytail

- in fourth year she got mary to cut it to her shoulders and after that year she just kept cutting her hair shorter and shorter

- she does like spicy food but the reason why she eats it a lot of it is because she doesnt want to adjust to non-spicy food and then no longer handle spice like a pussy

- poster kid for divorced parents

- once had a movie marathon with lily and mary watching the really old Disney movies and they took a shot whenever something sexist happened (they couldnt do it again bc the hangover was too excruciating)

- technically lives with her mum but she has a room at her dads place that she prefers

- has absolutely no idea what to do after school ends and is super terrified about it

- wanted a lot of piercings but didnt have the money to afford it so she just learnt how to do it herself

#i love her #shes my gf (real)#marlene mckinnon #marlene mckinnon headcanons #dorlene #marylene #marauders #marauders era #marauders girls #valkyries #marauders headcanons

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denimbex1986 · 11 months ago

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'Back when All of Us Strangers first premiered on the festival circuit, critics who frequent Gay Twitter™ hinted at one particular sex scene that got everyone talking.

Well, not the sex itself. Not exactly. It's what happens after that excited people so much.

Adam (Andrew Scott) rejects Harry (Paul Mescal) at first after he shows up drunk outside his flat one night, babbling about vampires at the door. But then a chance second encounter in the strangely empty building they share leads to something deeper.

"I've been thinking about you," Harry tells Adam. "I've been thinking about sucking your cock."

There's a hunger to Paul Mescal's delivery that the usually shy Adam finds impossible to resist. Adam's walls come down as Paul enters the flat and then enters him in the first of many sex scenes that take place throughout All of Us Strangers.

Across previous projects like Weekend and Looking, director Andrew Haigh built a reputation for the way he shoots such moments so intimately, and the key is the emotional intimacy that he brings to that physical act.

This combination comes to a head (no pun intended) early on when Harry licks cum off Adam's chest, post-coitus. While the specificity of that moment might be lost on some who mistake the semen for sweat, gay audiences know exactly what's happening there.

It's shocking in the sense that this particular sex act isn't often depicted on screen (outside of the videos you watch alone on your laptop). But the moment itself passes by quick, and there's no lingering on what happened for mere shock value. It's worlds away from the bathtub antics of Saltburn, for example.

Sex on screen can often lack intimacy, especially in typical Hollywood fare. There's rarely much connection beyond the physical and that's assuming the sex is even shown on screen these days. But Haigh knows that this physical intimacy can say a great deal, that the thrill of enjoying another person's body can cement the connection between two people like nothing else.

That moment Harry licks the cum off of Adam's chest, just like the handjob in the bath or even the way they spoon each other, is one of many small milestones that bring these two lonely people closer together. Despite everything that takes place between Adam and his parents, it's this central relationship that the movie's ending, and therefore the movie itself, hinges on.

That means every single moment of connection, be it physical or emotional, is key to the devastating impact of Haigh's script. Yet that chest scene is arguably the most important, unlocking everything that follows.

Adam reveals early on that he's been afraid of sex for as long as he can remember because he grew up during the height of the AIDS crisis. For men of that generation, the joy of sex turned to fear as just one casual encounter could quickly become a death sentence. This in turn stoked more prejudice in the media, making it even harder for gay men to come out without fear of hate or disgust.

It's no wonder that men like Adam, raised in the '80s and '90s, internalised shame so deeply. If you grow up afraid of physical intimacy, of course you're going to struggle with emotional connections. That's why Adam has been alone for so long, and that's also why he's reluctant to let Harry in.

With that history in mind, the moment when Harry seductively tastes Adam's semen must have come as bit of a shock to Adam. Ingesting bodily fluids would have once been horrifying to him, it's something he would have never done himself, yet he doesn't hold Harry back or flinch. By giving into his new partner's desire, Adam begins to let down his walls when it comes to sex while also starting to overcome his trauma.

Harry has become a safe space for Adam where he can rediscover his sexuality all over again and heal. In taking this journey, Adam opens up in other ways too, most notably in how he reveals his true self to his parents.

It's a difficult conversation to have, especially with his mother, but by sharing the kind of conversations he was robbed of having earlier in life, Adam frees himself of shame, enabling him to love Harry more deeply.

It's the sex and the connection it brings that first shifts something inside of Adam. And that's why the final scene has become the biggest talking point now in light of the movie's release.

Because yes, the sex scenes are hot and exciting, but it's the emotional connection they help form that makes the end so devastating, and it's impossible to imagine All of Us Strangers without them.'

#All of Us Strangers #Saltburn #Andrew Scott #Paul Mescal #Andrew Haigh #Weekend #Twitter #Looking #AIDS

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emerals · 1 year ago

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the lads dynamics with the adults™

this is going off of when they're preteens || excluding scrooge

as just something general:

beakley tolerates them, though there are some she likes more than others

della is capable of getting along with each of them with some time, though things are a little rough when the kids are preteens due to louie's vents and her kind of pushy attempts to get to know/along with them

donald, having a decade of experience, does better with the kids overall; there are still things he can't quite grasp, though, and he can be overprotective

launchpad doesn't have too much of an opinion on the kids, but the kids have varying opinions of him

OZZY - beakley: she wants him far away from webby and would like him not on the mansion premises, but if he brings louie joy (and as long as he abides by louie's rule about cigarettes), then she'll just keep a close eye on him; he thinks she's too strict, but damn, does he love her cooking - della: right away, there is tension between them as ozzy is very biased against della because of louie's dramatic tellings; she doesn't know about that so she tries the hardest to get along with ozzy and he finds her a try-hard because of that - donald: ozzy likes him a lot, and even though he finds it annoying, he appreciates it when donald gives him a pack of candy cigarettes every time he comes to the mansion - launchpad: ozzy sees him as a big dumb lug- but a lovable big dumb lug

JUNIPER - beakley: she likes her cooking and always appreciates a good badass woman; beakley quickly becomes exhausted of her since juniper's like webby high on sugar 24/7, but in a lot of ways she reminds her of her granddaughter, so she tolerates it - della: while juniper isn't as biased against her, there are still some things she doesn't like or trust about her- she'll oftentimes make a quick remark that hurts della, but then follow up with a "but..." statement; della loves her and her unrestrained adventurous spirit - donald: he likes her brutal honesty, even if it hurts sometimes; she adores nurturing people, and a lot of times will go to him with trauma-related things when her parents aren't available - launchpad: they exchange mechanical tips and work on things together- they teach each other things

ADEN - beakley: she finds him incredibly infuriating as he was able to figure out webby wasn't her granddaughter in the matter of weeks in knowing her along with some other secrets of hers- once he lets her know he has no intention of blackmailing her or telling anyone else, they actually get along and she enlists his help in fishing out f.o.w.l.; he finds her interesting - della: he doesn't interact (and doesn't really let her) with her much, choosing to keep his distance and figure her out like a rubik's cube; della notices he helps beakley with things and its actually kind of a blow on her self-esteem since even beakley can get along with someone - donald: donald isn't a fan of being able to be figured out so easily by a child, but a part of him wishes they had someone like him when della first went missing; the more aden looks into him, the more he likes him - launchpad: aden thinks it's commendable that someone so bumbling like launchpad can help out drake in all his crimefighting and wishes to help solve the crimes; launchpad usually mistakes him for quoting mystery movies and replicating movie scenes when he's legitimately doing detective-like things

EVERETT - beakley: they enjoy the peace and quiet that comes with the other; they like to talk about the burning world around them - della: he's dry with her as he is with most everyone- but he doesn't treat her with any hostility - donald: everett's dry with him as he is with most everyone- but he doesn't treat him with any hostility and appreciates his attempts of hospitality - launchpad: neutral on both ends

XIMENA - beakley: they love each other and ximena can be found in the kitchen with her during dinner time, preparing sweets - della: ximena treats everything said both ways with a grain of salt; she's aware of the hurt that's been inflicted, but she's a big believer of second chances and people changing; della thinks she's sweet - donald: she personally took the time to teach donald to cook certain things- they exchanged stories about their families and donald emphasizes with her - launchpad: they're just two little dorks going on with their days

KIWI - beakley: kiwi knows webby isn't her granddaughter, but she, too, isn't going to tell anyone- she isn't as close as aden is, but there's a mutual respect of sorts; kiwi reminds beakley of webby in some aspects - della: kiwi likes to keep an open mind, so she freely gets along with della; della likes her enthusiasm and joy - donald: they like each other, though there isn't anything notable to write home about - launchpad: kiwi thinks he's funny

NIX - beakley: mutual dislike; nix doesn't like how strictly protective beakley is - della: nix has a very strong dislike for della for the whole glomtales thing- this opinion sticks around for a while; della tends to steer clear a bit since nix looks like she wants to kill her half the time - donald: nix feels about him the complete opposite of della- yes, he may be too protective at times, but it isn't as strict as beakley; donald wishes she didn't see his sister the way she does - launchpad: neutral on both ends

DEAN - beakley: dean, in a way, looks up to her- though, he does agree that she's too strict; beakley sees a reflection of webby in him- but not in the good way - della: dean sought her out behind nix's back and the two got along through talks of space - donald: dean loves how protective and loving he is- it makes him wish he had donald as an uncle instead of his actual one - launchpad: they weirdly have deep talks that launchpad usually forgets about, but it lets dean let out some steam without much of a risk of it being found out; launchpad doesn't actually forget about them, but he'd never let dean know that

ASH - beakley: beakley does not like them; ash likes her food - della: ash makes snarky comments, but their real opinion of della is just of a bit of distaste; della tries to get along with them, but they don't really let her (it's like trying to get along with louie if louie wasn't related to her) - donald: he finds them frustrating sometimes, but they have quirks like louie; ash likes learning about the duck family through him - launchpad: he things they're a little mean sometimes

WHITTANY - beakley: whittany manages to surprise and flatter her a lot; beakley likes her - della: whittany's cautious around her, but they kind of get along at times; she's energetic and della likes that - donald: nothing too special, but they don't dislike each other - launchpad: they oftentimes engage in light conversations; they like each other

MARSHALL - beakley: she finds him annoying (and a bit self-destructive); he loves her cooking and will sometimes drop by just for something to eat- beakley usually has something ready for him - della: he's constructively critical of her, but he thinks she's pretty cool; della doesn't believe he's a real teenager (joking)- they make fun of trashy tv together - donald: marshall's constructively critical of him, but he overall likes him; donald doesn't like his self-destructive nature - launchpad: marshall makes a lot of jokes that launchpad doesn't quite get- or, he does, and he just plays along with it

SYLVIA - beakley: beakley gives her advice; sylvia looks up to her - della: sylvia believes people can change (to a... not good degree), so she gives della a chance and they get along okay - donald: they engage in small conversations- nothing to write home about - launchpad: they get along really well; sometimes a deep conversation will happen, but that's not often; she even goes to him for advice sometimes

VIVIAN - beakley: beakley sees through her facade, so she doesn't even try it around her; they actually get along, though - della: vivian is very confusing for della- sometimes nice, sometimes downright awful to her; no one actually knows how vivian feels towards della except for vivian herself - donald: he can sometimes see through her; vivian likes to see what he'll tolerate - launchpad: launchpad understands her and no one knows how

DOTTIE - beakley: the two conspire with each other and once or twice, beakley enlists dottie for a bit of a dabble in s.h.u.s.h. work - della: dottie's critical, but she lets her try- which doesn't usually go well (she'll accidentally trigger dottie a lot); dottie wants to let her keep trying, but della doesn't want to bring up bad memories - donald: dottie vents to him and tries to get him to do the same, but donald isn't going to let a child that isn't family- no matter how "mature"- hear his adult problems; he tries to let her feel comfortable - launchpad: neutral on both ends

HUNTER - beakley: he likes the surprising coziness she brings in homes; she's neutral towards him - della: they get along, as hunter actually listened to louie and didn't look at della like a she-demon; della loves his family - donald: they get along; nothing special - launchpad: they get along

**i would like to note that, as implied in hunter's dynamics, louie does not want his friends to hate della

he likes that some of them are getting along with her, but he isn't going to force any of the others (except maybe nix because of how extreme it is) to change their minds about her

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musical-chick-13 · 1 year ago

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Hey, can you re-imagine a wholy genderbent Deathnote, is too cursed?

Okay, it is SO funny that you mention this because I was talking to my Long-Distance Best Friend the other day about the fact that there is, apparently, (or at least was, at some point before the strike?) a plan to make a live-action TV series adaptation of this for Netflix. Which is...a whole other thing I don't want to get into, but ANYWAY.

The POINT is that we were talking about what would have to happen to make me have some modicum of hope that this might not be the worst idea ever (remember what happened the LAST time we did live-action Netflix DN, we got the 2017 movie no one needs to live through that again). And what I ultimately came up with was:

Every single character, except for Light and Raye, is now a woman. (Obviously this isn't wholly genderbent, but. It's close enough to this ask that I found it to still be a humorous coincidence.) I think in the hands of the right writer, it could be an interesting examination of misogyny and how baked-in that concept is to the justice system. (And I think it would lend extra context to the fact that Light was able to keep operating for so long. If the people opposing him are all women in a historically male-dominated field, they'd all have to contend with a type of professional and societal discrimination that he'll never have to, thus giving him an advantage. Also L would be a Weird Girl™, which would absolutely raise some interesting questions in terms of the scope of this character's influence and their societal perception. Also femslash Near/Mello would be canonically possible which is OBVIOUSLY the most important factor to take into consideration.)

Soichiro's difficulty in believing Light's guilt would gain an extra dimension if this character were also grappling with the societal expectations of motherhood (especially while being in a position of authority in a """masculine""" career). And Matsuda...I just think some woman, any woman, should get to shoot Light repeatedly in a fit of rage. (Also something-something calling women in the workplace idiots/making them the butt of the joke/consistently overlooking them, I think you could do something there.) I think this theoretical concept I spent way too much time thinking about really only works if, even though the major and supporting characters are women, it's still made clear that they work in an environment overwhelmingly occupied by men.

As for a FULLY genderbent story...Light as a female character is, to me, indeed an idea too cursed. I will not elaborate.

And I don't think the Shinigami experience the concept of gender in the way that we do, so tbh I'm not really sure a whole lot would change in that regard. But I do think a female Ryuk would be very funny.

Naomi being a man I think would be...not cursed, I just don't particularly enjoy it. But mainly that's because I am A Gay™, and I love thinking about women who are tough enough to have the word "massacre" as part of their nickname. :)

Misa being reimagined as a guy could be really interesting, though, given how a) the entertainment industry treats women differently from how it treats men, and b) the world at large generally expects men to react differently to trauma than women do. (Although I still very much prefer the version of Misa that serves as a deconstruction of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl). And I'd be curious to see what the viewer/reader response would be if this character were a man. (Mainly because, historically, audiences are a lot more positively receptive to extreme, unhealthy displays of devotion when they come from a male character than when they come from a female character, but this answer is already probably too long, so we don't have to talk about that.)

(Best Friend ALSO mentioned the idea of Rina Sawayama playing L, and I am now gay on a level I previously didn't ever think was possible, but we don't have to talk about that either.)

Uhhhh....TLDR, full-genderbent DN kind of cursed, but there are some really interesting ideas you could examine. (The one veto I'm gonna make is that I do not think this story works if Light is a girl, but-you guessed it-we really don't have to talk about that.)

Also, stan the stage musical for serotonin and clear skin!

#THANK YOU FOR THE ENRICHMENT #MY GOD I MISSED ASKS I'M SO GLAD I TURNED THE ANONYMOUS FUNCTION BACK ON #I...don't think I'm gonna put this in the tag #I'm not sure it belongs there mainly because I do not know if this makes ANY sense #you're telling me a god of death made this note?#(I guess that's the tag I'll use for when I talk about this property but don't want it to show up in the tag?)#enjoy this peek into what goes on in my brain when I am not on this website #multi t(ASK)ing

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kunaigirl · 9 months ago

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murder drones looks cool! uh is there any trigger warnings I should know about before I dive in? also where do you watch it?

Murder Drones is an indie animated youtube series, so you can watch it all for free on youtube! All 7 episodes (so far) are up on the official Glitch YT channel! As for trigger warnings??? Ok this is going to be A List™: -A LOT of gore, and I mean A. LOT. -Think like, the SAW movies. -A LOT of on screen death. -Super fucked up imagery in general -Decent amount of jump scares -General constant horror elements -Cannibalism??? Cannibalism. -A LOT of existential dread/self hate -Reality questioning/unreality/etc -A lot of violent character trauma in general NOTE! These characters are robots. Maybe that'll make a difference since it's not like, human gore? But at the same time they use robot blood in the same way a super gore-y anime would soooo...guess it depends? Specific TW: -There's a specific scene of a character self-harming. It's a scene where a character HAS to injure themself in order to survive, but yeah they literally repeatedly say "I deserve this" over and over again, so even though it was a "necessary" action for this character's survival, it's still very much blunt self harm. Once again, a lot of violence.

There's probably more but these are the one's I can think of off the top of my head. Think of this series as an abstract survival sci-fi horror with a few comedy moments here and there between all the trauma lol.

#asks #anon #trigger warnings

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official-panini · 1 year ago

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rwrb movie aka "a shitshow"

rating: 1 star, if you want something like the book this is not the place to go.

i watched the movie last night and i have a lot of Thoughts™. i have undone my tumblr exile specifically for this. this may be incoherent but bear with me pls.

there will be spoilers after the cutoff

i had 3 main issues with the movie. obviously i knew it wouldn't be perfect to the book (that would have added at least another 2 hours) but it felt like the screenwriters didn't have any idea what the core of the book was about....... so yeah i have come back to tumblr simply because of this movie.

Diversity: the books had SO MUCH diversity. Nora was bisexual, Pez was 100% queer, these two and June were in a very obvious polyamorous relationship (THEY GOT RID OF JUNE!!!). Amy was trans and had a wife. Rafael Luna was cut out entirely, so we lost a gay Mexican senator who had experienced sexual assault. Oscar wasn't even senator, so we got to see zero (0) Mexican senators. even in terms of other types of diversity, there was less. for example, Ellen wasn't divorced, the movie was just a perfect little nuclear family. not to mention it was Henry's grandpa that was king? instead of having a queen? like the vibes were so different because of that. not to mention, Bea wasn't ever addicted to cocaine. i mean, that added so much to the idea that the royal family wasn't perfect (they made her a pretty little useless princess in the movie).

Palatability: I don't know why I expected better from Amazon, but I was so disappointed. this goes hand in hand with diversity, but i feel like they watered down so many of the themes to appeal to straight audiences? it felt like the difference between "flamboyant" gay vs "quiet, doesn't talk about their sexuality" gay (hint: the second one is the type cishets want from us). even just the way that the only time we see a pride flag is in the reflection of the window. also, one of the scenes i really wanted to see was after henry/alex were outed and we'd see a montage of ppl on the internet speaking out for them, saying stuff like "this was an invasion of their privacy" "they deserved better" "we support you" "you made me more comfortable with my sexuality", etc. AND ESPECIALLY THE "HISTORY, HUH?" SHIRTS. JUST READING ABOUT THEM MADE ME CRY. basically the movie tried to ignore their queer identities past the trauma involved. they didn't celebrate the gayness, they only used it to be like "boohoo they're sad cuz they can't come out".

Character Development: Henry had a plot arc that i felt was more similar to the books, except for the fact that it focused on himself accepting his gayness instead of accepting himself in general. BUT ALEX. THEY DID HIM WRONG. i mean, he didn't have a sexuality crisis on screen (liam was completely ignored). but what really annoyed me was how they didn't show the "fire under his ass" and how he put it out. the entire thing in the book was that he wanted to do everything fast, as young as possible. his entire character arc was learning from June and Henry that he could slow down and get there in his own time. but instead he felt like a plot device to help henry in the movie, like he didn't have a personality beyond helping Henry (and occasionally campaigning for Texas, but w/o his character development we don't even know why he wants Texas so much)

Plot arcs: again, i should have expected this. but. i didn't. in the book, while the overarching plotline was the firstprince romance, a lot of other stuff happened too. while i would argue that there were many mini subplots, the big one was with Richards. he was the one who orchestrated the emails, who leaked them, who tried to sabotage the Claremont administration. and Luna defecting to gather information was so important because of the betrayal + forgiveness + trauma. like the election was so important in the book yet it felt like a background feature in the movie. other subplots that were taken out: june's displeasure with being used as a tool for her mother, henry's mother finally coming out of her room and fighting for something, even just Alex giving the speech in Austin during the election! it didn't even have "you obtuse fucking asshole", the best line in the whole book. it became a pure romcom instead of a contrast between love and politics.

tl;dr: the book was an escapist fantasy that painted a whole world that i would like to run away to, the movie was about two people falling in love with each other (it's hard to escape to a world made for only two people).

anyway i hated it, would not recommend.

#do not watch the movie if you want to feel the same emotions as the book #it felt super geared towards the straight gaze #rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb film #rwrb movie spoilers #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #prince henry rwrb #prince henry #fsotus #hrh prince henry #ellen claremont #june claremont diaz #rafael luna

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luxurybrownbarbie · 3 years ago

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Just finished Everything Everywhere All At Once… don’t text.

#Generational Trauma™: The Movie

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pianocat939 · 2 years ago

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Okay so I like really like your writing style and I would like to make a request!!

Can we see the boys with a reader that had drastic changes in temperature really easily? Like one second they’re burning alive and then the next their bundled in blankets.

Thank you in advance if you write this!!!

-👻

As someone who lives in a place where it's winter literally 7-8 whole months, I totally do not get this *cue awkward smile*. So most of the stuff written here is geared towards winter.

I split this into parts because I felt there can be both platonic and romantic reactions to this.

The Turtles with a Temperature Vulnerable MC

(There isn't much of a difference between romantic and platonic for Mikey + Raph. It's more for Leo and D'Nello)

Raph

- Platonic

Sorry guys I have to go back to his trauma again.

He worries a lot. It's obvious considering his Eldest Child Syndrome™

So much so that he carries around a bag filled with jackets/layers, ice packs, fans: and all that stuff when you guys leave either of your homes.

He tries to keep the temperature indoors as mild as possible, but it can get hard during the summer and winter months (winter especially 'cuz he's a reptile).

Will ask if you want hugs whenever you're cold. He may be a reptile, but I think he retains some warm-blooded traits from Splinter.

Learns how drinks are a great way to regulate temperature and asks Mikey to teach him how to make delicious beverages.

During winter he doesn't let you out until you have a coat and a light jacket on (trust me you get hot in winter coats really fucking easy).

"Nope. Not letting you out until you have them layers on."

Worried parent 1000%

- Romantic

Not too different from platonic, just more prone to be touchy.

Holds your hand(s) and cuddles if you if you're cold. And also because he's a cuddlebug.

He gets really pouty if you have to separate because you're too hot.

"If I were to cover myself in ice packs will you cuddle me?"

Leo

- Platonic

He will laugh whenever you have to change your surroundings/position because of temperature issues.

He might try to piss you off by stealing all the blankets or turning the heater/cooler to insane settings.

"Um, excuse me, I need all of these."

If he feels nice, on some days he'll hand you the things you need directly; might even teleport steal extra machinery for you.

Honestly, I think he would relate to your problem, but be the biggest drama queen about it. Like complaining extremely loudly.

Flaunts the number of blankets he has.

- Romantic

Is less snarky, but can be a little bug sometimes.

I think if we're speaking in a romantic sense he's more likely to expose his true feelings/intentions. I know it's not explicitly stated within the canon series/movie but based on my own interpretation I think he doesn't like exposing his feelings unless he really trusts that person.

So he'll express worry in a more intimate way.

He won't be all mama bear like Raph but does show some concern. He'll ask if you're alright and if you need he'll bring it right to you.

As I said before I do think he has a similar problem so he'll suggest you guys share a blanket or something to conserve as much heat.

"As soon as you get out I'm not letting you back in. This is my heat reserve."

Othello Von Ryan

- Platonic

Out of the three has the best assistance for temperature regulation.

He can easily construct a device that changes surrounding heat based on blood and heartbeat regulation.

He's iffy when it comes to helping you out that isn't biology or just in general science related. It's not that he doesn't understand it, he finds it inefficient that's all.

"Why waste time doing things that could maybe help when you know that the studies of science are more credible?"

No touch. Maybe robot arms with heating, but no actual touchy.

It's hot? Don't worry he got his beautiful ice maker in his battle shell.

He does not stand for complaining. Just tell him you're uncomfortable and he can fix it.

- Romantic

In a romantic sense, I think he's more likely to try to help in a non-scientific way. Again, it's not his preferred method but it can also be a data-collecting experience for him.

He'll ask more questions, trying to understand your individual biology.

"Is there a certain time interval when you feel you're personal comfort change?"

He really doesn't like it but if you need it very badly then he might give you a stiff hug or two. Awkward back pat gang

If you spend time in the lab with him then he'll make sure the environment is to your liking.

Asks Sheldon to watch over you if he's not able to be there at the moment.

I totally see him as a trench coat guy. Gifts you a matching one.

Mikey Wazowski

- Platonic + Romantic

Quite similar to Raph but has some distinct traits.

Will go overboard with everything because he's not entirely sure what you exactly need. Ex. 4-5 blankets or more than enough electric fans

Found frozen foods and used them in replace of ice packs once.

"I'm gonna find who stole them all because I am disgusted at myself right now!"

Uses his culinary skills as an advantage. Is it 3 star Michelin course shit? Indeed it is.

"I present to you my Ganache hot chocolate~"

He absolutely loves physical touch so keep that in mind. You'll have to pry him off you if you get hot though.

Donnie has to teach him how the thermostat works (it's not hard, he's just never used it before).

If you're ever under a blanket he'll try jumping on you.

(Sorry Mikey's is short I'm pulling all my brain cells trying to think of any possible ways)

——————————————————

I tried. I really tried.

Also, I don't ever want to call Mikey "Mikey" ever again. He's "Mikey Wazowski" now.

- Celina

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt x reader #mikey #raph #Leo #Donnie #Tmnt #tmnt 2018 #Tmnt x reader

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pieceofourworld · 2 years ago

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LITERALLY THOUGH-

Like I love Jamikali mostly in AU/Post-Canon situations, but in canon they are still so good, for this exact reason. They are both GROWING and MATURING and UNDOING GENERATIONAL TRAUMA (recurring theme throughout TWST, which is fitting since Disney/Pixar's recent movies have tackled these topics head-on - namely Encanto and Turning Red).

Anyways, some evidence of Jamil being very much Not Emotionally Mature™:

Saw Grim and Yuu, the people at the center of the last three overblots (who also stopped three tyrants in the process), and thought "ah yes these are the perfect people to lock in my dorm".

That time he was so offended that the basketball club called his food bland that he spent most of culinary crucible making sauces in six different colors.

When he thought he was flawless in his fairy gala performance and that Kalim and Leona were the problems, only for Vil to get his ass and tell him his stiffness and lack of passion potentially made him the worst offender.

Every time he says or does anything unnecessarily petty. You're not immune sir, you've done this at least 20 times.

When he found out Malleus was going on the Scalding Sands trip and tried to convince him not to go because it could cause an international incident if something happened, only to almost cause said incident by indirectly insulting him multiple times.

Literally the entirety of 6-67 where Leona's calling him out on his emotional immaturity.

Kalim: *tries to do something* Jamil: *stops him from doing thing and does it himself* Also Jamil: "Why can't Kalim do anything?"

(^ I realize most of this last one is on order from his parents but like...you could have let him fetch the ice cream bestie 😭)

The most damning piece of evidence: I relate to him too much for him not to be at least a little emotionally immature lol.

Jamil and Kalim are great because yeah Kalim isn’t mature in the traditional way but guys Jamil is so not emotionally mature. They like balance each other out because they are both stupid just opposite. I hope they learn from each other and grow as people. I REALLY AAAAAAAA-

#reblog #vanilla-poisons #jamikali #kalim al asim #jamil viper #character analysis #twst #twisted wonderland

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whataperfectwasteoftime · 3 years ago

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All the Time in the World

Pairing: Marcus Pike x f!reader

Rating: E (SMUT, 18+ only)

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: body insecurities, internalized shame around sex and orgasms, use of vibrators, oral sex, fingering, PIV sex (unprotected, but let’s pretend they had that talk “offscreen” because they’ve been together for 2 months), Marcus Pike being the Absolute Fucking Most(™)

Summary: You’ve never been able to climax without the aid of a vibrator. Due to your insecurities and internalized shame, you rarely involve any toys during sex with a partner, and have been “faking it” for years. You and your new boyfriend, Marcus Pike, have been taking your relationship very slowly–building up a beautiful connection without ever having seen each others’ bedrooms. Two months in, neither of you can wait any longer. How will Marcus react when he discovers the thing you consider to be your deepest, darkest secret?

A/N: I know I said that this was on the back-burner until my OTHER Marcus stuff was completed, but then I got such lovely (and heartbreaking) responses to a snippet of this WIP that I picked it up again and couldn’t. stop. writing. This fic wouldn’t exist without @ezrasbirdie ‘s Going Slow, which is the only other fic I’ve read out there that deals with sexual dysfunction, and I can’t post this without acknowledging that her fic really paved the way and made me want to write about MY experiences, however personal, vulnerable, or “unsexy” they might be. It’s really fun to read (and write) about people with clitorises who can have multiple orgasms in one session, by intercourse alone, or by their partner just touching their clit, like, one time. This is not always the case in real life, a fact that is not well-represented in fic despite being very common. I think we should acknowledge that sex and pleasure can and do look different for everyone and can still be fun and sexy to read about. This is the fic I always wanted to write with Marcus Pike. I mentioned in the tags when I posted a snippet of this fic that the reason I write sooooo many Marcus fics is because I’ve kind of made this man an outlet for my trauma around this exact subject. When you’re too insecure or ashamed to prioritize your pleasure, sex can be fraught, even painful. If you’re reading this fic and think, “Hey, that’s me!” please know that you are NOT alone, it’s TOTALLY normal, and you deserve a partner who encourages and prioritizes your pleasure.

Additional thank you's to @leslie-lyman for reading this over and being so lovely and encouraging in the DMs, and to @katareyoudrilling for letting me bare my heart and soul to a stranger on the internet, as one does. I love you both.

Main Masterlist

"Do you wanna come up?"

Those words are always laced with meaning, but with your new relationship, they seem even more significant.

It was no secret that your new boyfriend, Marcus Pike, has had a rough go of things before you started dating. And really, so have you–hence why both of you insisted on taking this fledgling relationship very slowly. It has been two months–two incredible, happy months–since your first date, and the two of you have developed a beautiful connection over dinners, walks, movies, lunch dates, even baseball games, without ever having seen each others’ bedrooms.

You know that you’re falling for him. How can you not? Marcus is considerate and kind, with a secret goofy side that you know he usually tries to hide. It seems as if his arms are meant for cuddling, and he’s generous with his affection, even though the two of you had agreed to keep things chaste until both of you are ready. He doesn’t shy away from difficult conversations, and he’s been forthright about his past hangups and flaws. It’s refreshing, and the fact that he’s so damn earnest makes you want him even more.

The minute those five little words escape your lips, Marcus’s gaze turns to full-blown lust. It’s been really important, really meaningful, to wait–but both of you are at the peak of sexual frustration, and you both know it.

It doesn’t help that Marcus is absolutely gorgeous, with those deep eyes, artfully mussed hair, broad chest and deliciously soft tummy. You and your vibrator have become very close over the last two months, when you would come home after yet another wonderful date staring at his full lips and feeling his large hand at the small of your back, or holding yours as you walked.

One of those hands comes up now to brush the backs of his fingers across your cheek. “Are you sure?” he asks quietly.

“Absolutely,” you answer breathlessly, the word more air than speech.

Marcus leans in close, a small smile on his face as he stops just short of your lips. “Lead the way, then,” he murmurs. You push down a pang of anxiety. You like him so much, want this night to be perfect, but you know better than to assume your body will cooperate. You wonder if he’ll mind if you… if you don’t…

Marcus’s hands travel as you ride the elevator up to your floor–the touches growing bolder, more blatantly sexual than they’d ever been before. He pulls your back flush to his front as the floors tick up, kissing a gentle path down the side of your neck as his fingers scrape over your hipbones and down, his hand resting just above your mound like a promise.

You waste no time when you finally open the door to your apartment–kicking it closed and then grabbing Marcus’s face and pulling it towards yours for a desperate, longing kiss. He makes a surprised little sound and returns your passion in kind, crushing you to him with an intensity you’d never felt from the man.

“C’mere,” you mumble hastily when you come up for air, and you pull him along until you’re stepping into your bedroom. The rush to take each others’ clothes off is more than a little frantic–both of you practically ravenous after so much time spent longing for one another. Shirts and pants are discarded haphazardly in your rush to feel skin against skin. You move to the bed in a tumble of bodies. Marcus is loud–groaning in your ear as he palms your ass and grinds his hips against you.

“Wanted–fuck–wanted this for so long, baby,” he says into your neck. “Been… been wanting to feel your skin against mine, be able to touch you…” he trails off as he starts to move down your body, kissing and nipping with enthusiasm.

“Better than I ever imagined,” Marcus murmured, as he brushes his lips softly–the barest of touches–against your clit, making you whimper softly.

He starts out so gently, licking you as if he’s simply exploring the area–unhurried, leisurely, patiently. As if he’s doing it just for the enjoyment of it, for the feel of your soft skin against his tongue. Every so often, his eyes flick up to meet yours, gauging your reaction as he eats you out.

It feels amazing, of course, but you feel that little tinge of anxiety starting to grow, knowing that even with his obvious enthusiasm and dedication, it probably isn’t going to be enough for you to come.

You and your stupid body.

You aren’t sure how much time he’s been down there already, but you know it’s probably conspicuously long. Suspiciously long. It doesn’t help that you’re starting to freak out a little, stressing out over the time–wondering if you should… should you stop him? Would that insult him? Most guys would have given up by now, and the fact that he hasn’t–fuck. The last thing you want to do is hurt his feelings. You like him so fucking much. You don’t want to ruin it.

Marcus, who is obviously unaware of your inner struggle as he flicks his tongue over your clit and gently thrusts one finger into your soaking cunt, says “Gonna come for me, honey?”

And you know he doesn’t mean to telegraph impatience–he probably meant it to be encouraging, but after he asks the question, you feel the pleasure that he had built up retreating quickly as you stare down at him with an anxious, apologetic expression.

“It’s, um… it’s not–I usually… I-I usually need a vibrator, it’s not you, it’s–” you babble.

Marcus’s eyes are kind and non-judgemental as he looks up at you, the evidence of your desire on his lips. “Grab it,” he says with a smile, as if it’s the easiest thing in the world.

“I… I don’t know…” you murmur, your eyes shifting to the side.

Marcus, realizing that he’s touching on something very sensitive, crawls back up your body to give you a gentle kiss.

“Is everything okay?” he asks, and you ache at the tenderness in his eyes.

“Yeah, it’s fine, it’s just… it’s a hassle, you don’t have to–”

“Why wouldn’t I want to make you feel good?” he asks quietly, his eyes searching yours with growing concern.

You bite your lip nervously. “It’s not just that, it’s–oh, God–it takes forever, you don’t–”

“So?” Marcus is looking down at you, one eyebrow raised in both confusion and amusement. “So what if it takes a long time?”

“Like a really long time. I, um–I dunno, my body just doesn’t seem to work right. I’ve never been able to do it during sex, there’s just too much going on and I–I just get all in my head about it, and I just can’t…” you ramble, your voice rising in pitch as you lay out the most vulnerable part of yourself, laying yourself bare for another person in a way that terrifies you.

“Okay,” Marcus says softly, soothingly. “Okay. Hey, it’s all right.” He strokes your face with his palm as you stare up at him, your lip trembling.

“It still feels good without–um…” you trail off. “Like, I’ll still like it.” You drop your gaze, feeling silly. Feeling small. “I really want you,” you whisper. “I really wanted this night to go well.”

“This night is far from over,” Marcus assures you, a bit of firmness creeping into his voice. “It hasn’t even started, and I think it’s going amazing.” He brushes his thumb across your still-trembling lip and gives you a small, reassuring smile.

“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable,” Marcus murmurs, “But I really, really, would like to make you come. If you don’t want that, tell me now, and I’ll still make you feel as good as fucking possible tonight,” he promises. “But if you’ll let me, I’d really like to have that vibrator, now.”

He fixes you with a little smirk, his eyes still lust-blown even though you feel as if you’ve completely derailed the moment. You search his expression, but all you can find is patience and earnestness.

Eventually, you nod, and you reach over to your nightstand drawer and fumble around for the little bullet vibrator. Your breath stutters as you hand it to Marcus. It feels like you’re handing far more over to him than just a simple sex toy.

He fixes you with a heartfelt stare. “Do you trust me?” he asks softly.

Marcus smiles when he sees you nod rapidly. “Listen to me,” he says, that little edge of authority sneaking into his voice and making you wetter than ever. “We have all the time in the world. You don’t need to worry about that.” His voice drops in pitch, growing darker and soaked with desire. “I’m a patient man,” Marcus rumbles, dropping his head a little to let his lips slide against yours as he speaks. “And I don’t care if it takes all night.” He smirks. “Fuck, I want it to take all night. Wanna see you spread out underneath me for hours. You see this?” Marcus palms his cock and gives it a lazy stroke. “Look how hard you make me,” he murmurs. “Just the thought of teasing you with this until you fall apart for me makes me so. Fucking. Hard.” He punctuates his last words with a roll of his hips and a gentle little bite on your neck–just hard enough to make your brain spark with pleasure as you feel the sting of his teeth on your skin.

Marcus sits back on his heels and switches the vibrator on. He swirls it around your entrance first, collecting some of the slick that had gathered there. Despite your body’s shortcomings, you really fucking want him, and you can feel yourself dripping for him. He slides the arousal-soaked toy up to tease at your clit, and you whimper as the vibrations start to course through you.

It feels… different, to have someone else do this for you. The movements are just subtly changed, simply by extension of his hands not being your hands. Marcus knows what he's doing, that much is evident, but he can't feel what you feel–he doesn't have the advantage of knowing exactly when to move the vibrator slightly, or swirl it around your clit, or when to just hold it there where you're most sensitive.

When your body is already reluctant, the subtle difference means that the buildup is even slower than when you do it yourself and–and–and–

And there's the fact that there's another person in the room where there never has been before. A person who can see the faces you're making, the shift of your hips, what you sound like–and you start to wonder: do I look stupid? Is he bored? Is he impatient? Am I making the right noises? Is my body okay? Is–

"So fucking pretty," Marcus murmurs, almost to himself, and your eyes–that had been closed in concentration–snap open and meet his warm gaze.

He looks… reverent? In awe? He has a small, fond smile on his face, his lips slightly parted, and his eyes are sweeping up and down your body as if he'll never get his fill of looking at you. When you stare up at him with wide vulnerable eyes, his smile widens.

"You are," he tells you. "You look incredible, laying there and letting me take care of you. Does it feel good?"

You nod thickly. It really does. It might take forever, but you'll enjoy every minute if it means Marcus will keep looking at you as if you're a piece of rare artwork–precious, priceless, irreplaceable. You wonder, just for a moment, if he might lo–

"Can I touch you with my fingers while I do this?" Marcus asks, interrupting your thought.

His eyes are still warm and patient, and despite the fact that laying yourself and all your vulnerabilities bare like this for the first time is absolutely terrifying, you feel safe in his arms.

You find yourself nodding, and the next thing you know, your head is thrown backwards as one of Marcus's thick fingers slides gently inside you.

Marcus chuckles at your intense reaction. "Yeah?" he breathes. "Feels good?"

You whimper in assent, and you feel his finger crook inside you, drawing another gasp from your lungs.

"That's it," he whispers, encouraging you. "Perfect."

He languidly pumps his finger in and out, seeming to instinctively understand that you need him to be slow, careful, steady. He's rubbing on something deep inside you that you can’t reach by yourself, and it’s sending sparks up and down your body, and you can feel something start to build. You close your eyes and try to concentrate on it, on the coil that’s tightening inside you, willing it to snap. You want it so badly.

Your body always seems to do this–seems to hover right on the edge for endless minutes, not willing or able to take the final leap. You teeter back and forth for a while, your brow furrowing as you chase the feeling–chase it before it retreats again, like coaxing a timid animal out of its burrow. The act of pursuing it actively makes the feeling start to recede, and you let out a little frustrated whine.

“I–I don’t know if–if I can–” you stammer out.

“Hey,” Marcus says softly, soothingly. “It’s okay, we’re in no rush.”

He withdraws his finger from your cunt and sucks it into his mouth with a small, pleased sound before laying down next to you, not letting the vibrator leave your clit for a second.

“You’re doing so well,” he husks into your ear. “Just close your eyes and feel it. Don’t worry about anything else. You don’t need to be impatient, we have all the time in the world, remember? I’m not going anywhere.”

You whimper and nod, trying to relax your body–relax, and let it happen, rather than fight for it.

“I’m gonna touch you again, okay?” Marcus says beside you. “If I do anything you don’t like, tell me.”

Marcus moves back between your legs, and, keeping his eyes fixed on you as he sinks his finger back into your cunt. You close your eyes, focusing on the feeling, but not trying to force it along this time. It will happen. It will happen. You breathe and relax, trying not to overthink, trying not to stress out about whether Marcus is happy and focus on your pleasure.

The moment you stop trying to come, you start to feel the coil tightening again. Holy shit. He’s going to cause you to get off. You’re almost in disbelief–no one has ever done this, not once, and it doesn’t feel real. But the gradual tightening of your core is definitely real, and you know Marcus can feel it too because he breathes out a little “yeah” as he rubs his finger right over the little spongy spot that drives you crazy.

“Oh!” is the only thing you’re able to say before the coil finally snaps and you fall apart on Marcus’s finger. You jerk with sensitivity as you clench around him over and over again, but he holds the vibrator steady on your clit until your walls stop trembling and you slump boneless on the bed.

“Oh, fuck yes,” you hear Marcus exhale. “Oh, baby…”

He follows you down, casting the vibrator aside and lying beside you. He pulls you into his arms and you can hear the smile in his voice when he tells you, “That was definitely worth the wait. You look so pretty when you come apart, honey.”

You twitch with another aftershock and you’re suddenly hit with the idea that maybe… you're not a lost cause? Maybe you aren't hopelessly broken? This realization is followed immediately by an intense wave of emotion, flooding all of your senses and overwhelming you, and to your utter humiliation, you realize you're definitely about to start crying.

"M-Marcus," you murmur urgently, trying to distract him so he won't see the tears. "Marcus, please fuck me."

He pulls back to look at you and you do your absolute best to keep the moisture welling in your eyes from falling down your cheeks, but the moment you meet his gaze, you know it didn't work.

"Hang on," Marcus says gently. "Honey, I'm not–I can’t do that while you're crying. Let's just slow down. Like I said, we have all night."

The patience and kindness in his words, his demeanor, just his entire being tonight is enough to send those tears over the edge, and you bury your face in your chest as they start to fall. Marcus’s arms immediately come around you, pulling you flush against him as if he were attempting to take away years of trauma with just his body surrounding yours. You really wish he could.

“Will you tell me about it?” Marcus asks tentatively in your ear.

“I–I’ve never… no one’s ever… done that,” you say quietly. “It’s always been me. I’ve never felt comfortable l-letting anyone–” you trail off, and the room is enveloped in silence again.

You feel Marcus swallow thickly. “Thank you,” he says, his voice raspy with emotion. “Thank you for trusting me with that.”

The two of you simply exist together for a long moment, neither of you speaking again for a long while, and Marcus starts to trail one of his hands up and down your spine softly, making you shiver slightly. Eventually, he speaks again.

“What happened?” he asks. “What happened to make it so scary to let someone else do it?”

You bite your lip, thinking about your answer for a moment. “Nothing… happened, exactly. It’s just… when you spend years and years being frustrated over the fact that your body doesn’t work right, or worse, having partners that are frustrated over it, you eventually give up trying.”

“Oh, honey,” Marcus starts, but you keep going.

“And a lot of it is my fault,” you confess, “I spent my early twenties either not communicating what I need, or not knowing what I need, let alone how to tell it to someone, and those habits are really hard to break. So even when someone was trying, I wouldn’t let them in.”

Marcus pulls back to look in your eyes, and the hand not currently wrapped around your body comes to caress your cheek gently.

“I–then I’m proud of you,” he says quietly, his voice full of sincerity. “And I’m–I’m honored that you feel comfortable letting me in.”

The truth is, if you can’t let yourself be vulnerable with a man like Marcus Pike, you can’t do it with anyone. He’s been so earnest, so utterly genuine as you’ve gotten to know him over the past two months. Already, the two of you have shared so much of yourselves–you know about his past, about the fact that he really struggles with impulsivity, and now, after tonight, he knows your deepest, darkest secret.

“It always felt like the rest of the world knew something I didn’t,” you tell him. “It always seemed like everyone else was having a good time, and I’m over here with a body that doesn’t work right, barely able to get myself off, let alone do it multiple times a night just from someone’s dick like they do in erotic novels.”

Marcus barks out a laugh. “Those are as fake as porn,” he chuckles. “And I think you’re wrong,” he says, sobering up. “Your body works fine. It’s fucking perfect, actually–I just saw it working. I felt it. And you know what?” He playfully bumps your noses together. “I was having a good fucking time.”

You giggle tearfully. “Yeah?”

“Of course, honey. I–I loved being able to do that for you. I loved watching you, I loved those cute little sounds you make, I love how hard you squeezed me, I–I love–” Marcus breaks off, his eyes full of trepidation, as if he’s on the knife-edge of a precipice and about to fall in. “I–”

“What?”

“I–I can’t—I don’t think it follows our rule of taking this slow,” he murmurs.

You smile. Marcus may be holding back from saying it, but he can't hide the fact that it's written all over his face. If you're being honest with yourself, it's been embedded in his expression for a while now–in his eyes as the two of you had walked hand and hand through an art museum, in his voice as he told you about his past failed relationships, even in his body language every time he touches you. Marcus has been showing you how he feels for weeks with his entire body. You can certainly take the leap and tell him.

"I love you," you murmur.

You watch Marcus's face as a million little microexpressions flit across it in the blink of an eye. Finally, his deep brown pools meet yours.

"Yeah, that–that was it," he says with a breathless laugh. "That was what I was–"

"I love you," you say again, this time with more confidence.

“Wow,” Marcus breathes, joy and disbelief written all over his face. “I love you, too.”

It feels as if a huge amount of tension that’s been building for weeks now has suddenly abated, and the two of you start giggling like idiots, sharing gentle kisses in between your giddy laughter. Short kisses become longer kisses, and soon Marcus is rolling you over, covering your body with his as he presses his thumb into the hinge of your jaw and takes.

You give back with equal fervor–fisting your hands in his hair and tangling your legs together as you shift your hips upward, seeking friction.

“I–mmph–fuck, you feel so perfect,” Marcus murmurs in between kisses that are becoming more and more passionate.

“Will–now will you fuck me?” you ask breathlessly.

“Let me check,” Marcus says, pulling back and making a show of studying your face with a mock-serious expression that makes you laugh. “Yep, think I will.”

He sobers for a second, pausing–as if he’s considering something.

“If you’re not comfortable with this, feel free to tell me ‘no,’” Marcus begins, “but I’d really like to make you come again.”

Oh. “I-I’m not sure if I can–” you trail off, trepidation etched over your features for the second time that night.

“It’s okay to say ‘no’ if you’re not comfortable with it,” he says again, “but don’t say ‘no’ because you think it takes too long,” he pleads.

“It might,” you say in a small voice. “‘Cause I already did once, and sometimes it takes a while…”

“What a hardship,” Marcus teases, lightly tickling your ribs and making you squirm. “Getting to fill you up for as long as it takes, feeling you trembling around me.” His hips rock reflexively against yours as he bites the meat of your shoulder. “Such a fucking shame if you kept my cock warm all night.”

You laugh again at his gentle teasing. “You’ve made your point.”

“Is that a ‘yes?’”

“Yes.”

Marcus’s smile could outshine the sun. “Good,” he whispers. “Would it be easiest for you if you were on top?” he asks. “So you can control the pace?”

Truthfully, you’re not sure. It’s been a long time since you’ve attempted to do this–to involve a toy in sex with a partner. It’s rarely been successful, but Marcus’s kindness and patience have already helped to shed some of the weight of this burden you’ve carried for so long by yourself.

When you nod, Marcus gives you one last sweet kiss before moving up to the head of the bed. You bite your lip. You hadn’t really looked at him–not yet–and he’s huge.

“Can we–” you start, “can we um, use–” you nod your head in the direction of a small bottle of lube sitting on your nightstand.

“Absolutely,” Marcus agrees. As you pour a little bit into your hand and experimentally grasp his thick cock–earning a hiss from him–he grabs your wrist gently to get your attention. “Hey,” he says seriously, “don’t ever be afraid to ask for what you need.”

You nod thickly, entranced by Marcus’s earnest expression–by the love in his eyes. After pumping his cock a couple more times, spreading the lube around his shaft, you smear the rest on yourself and start to sink slowly down, inch by inch.

He’s just large enough that the stretch is delicious, but stops short of painful. You hear yourself whimpering as you slide down, letting him fill you, until you’re seated fully on his lap. Marcus is still staring at you with that same lovestruck expression, and you flash him a little smile before experimentally rocking your hips, eliciting a little groan from deep within his chest.

“Here.” Marcus passes the little bullet vibrator into your hand. “Touch yourself, make yourself come. I want to see it. I really wanna feel it.”

You push down the fear of being vulnerable again, the fear of failure, of not being good enough, and you switch it on.

Marcus is so deep inside you. It feels fucking amazing, better than any toy you’ve ever used on yourself. He’s hot and thick and real and his deep brown eyes are still looking at you like you’ve hung the stars yourself, and having him beneath you is overwhelming and distracting in the worst and best of ways. You start to rock your hips slowly, fucking yourself on his cock, grinding against him without rising up off of him all that much. You’re not sure you can make it happen if you’re bouncing quickly up and down, so you keep things unhurried and easy. To your surprise, you can already feel an orgasm building–it’s illusory, it’s subtle, but you can feel it every time you cant your hips just so.

The only problem is, you aren’t sure if it feels good for Marcus–after all, you’re barely moving, most of the motion is caused by your hips flexing and relaxing rhythmically as you grind against him.

“Is–is it okay if I just rock like this?” you ask him timidly. “Is it still good for y–”

“Don’t finish that question,” Marcus interrupts gently. “You feel fucking amazing. You don’t even have to move, if that feels better for you. Just–just feeling you like this is incredible.”

He leans up to give you another passionate kiss. “I love this, and I love you, and I don’t want you to worry, okay? If you ever wonder whether this feels good for me, the answer is always going to be yes.” He smiles and playfully rubs his nose against yours. “Keep going,” he whispers. “Don’t think, just feel.”

As Marcus reclines back against the headboard, his hands travel to your breasts, his thumbs brushing against the nipples, and your pussy clenches. Marcus notices–you can tell by his sharp intake of breath. He fixes you with a dark, fiery stare, a devilish glint in his eyes, and your own breath catches. That felt really good.

“M-more?” you request weakly, still struggling with the concept of asking for what you want.

His thumbs press a little harder, rubbing little circles into the hardened buds, and your head falls back as your hips start to rock a little faster. You can hear yourself making little whimpers and pants as Marcus lavishes attention to your sensitive breasts. He gently flicks one nipple, and you keen loudly, and oh, fuck, that–that’s going to send you over the edge. If he keeps doing that, you’re going to come. You can feel the heat rising to your skin, a wave of pleasure starting to surge up, and up and up and—

“K-keep–” you manage to pant out before another gasp leaves your lips.

Marcus takes your meaning. “Not gonna stop,” he rasps. “Gonna play with these perfect fucking tits until I feel you come around me. I–oh, fuck–honey, I can feel you tightening–holy shit, baby, you’re doing so well, you’re perfect, keep going…”

He keeps talking to you, praising you, talking you through it, as your body teeters on the edge of a cliff for the second time tonight. Please, you beg yourself, please cooperate.

“I’ve got you,” Marcus is murmuring over and over. “I’ve got you, honey.”

You feel your hips lock into place as you reach the point of no return–that point at which you finally know you’re going to fall one way or the other. It’s always such a relief, this little moment of free-fall before your orgasm hits. Your mouth falls open as you embrace the inevitable, and you sob out Marcus’s name as your cunt starts clenching hard around his cock. You’re almost in disbelief, you can’t believe this is happening–first, Marcus being the first person to ever make you come undone by his own hands, then a love confession, and now, you’re falling apart on his cock, the first time you’ve ever allowed yourself to during sex. You laugh in joy in amazement even as your body still shakes with the aftershocks of your orgasm.

Marcus is smiling too as he surges up to meet your lips in an exuberant kiss. “Perfect,” he says against your lips. “So beautiful when you do that.”

He bands his arm around you and flips you on your back, keeping his lips close to yours as he starts to fuck you with deep, long strokes. You're still incredibly sensitive from your last orgasm and it feels like every sensation has been multiplied tenfold. You’re dimly aware that you’re being very loud right now, crying out as he hits the perfect spot inside you over and over, but you don’t care. This is easily the best sex of your life.

Marcus is being loud as well, groaning praise into your ear interspersed with your name as he snaps his hips into you harder and faster. Your hands scrabble for purchase on his shoulders as he ramps up the intensity of his thrusts, and all you can do is gasp and pant his name until he's spilling inside you.

Marcus immediately starts peppering little kisses across your face, holding himself over you as not to crush you, but not allowing himself to slip free from your heat just yet. Your heart is still fluttering with emotion–you love him, he loves you, and he’s patient and understanding and handles you gently, something you wish you had had in your earliest experiences with sex–someone to reassure you that you’re fine, you’re normal, all you need is a little extra care.

Speaking of care, Marcus finally pulls away with a happy little sigh, giving you another soft smile as he goes into your bathroom to find something to clean you with. You watch him from the bed–admiring his shoulders, his narrow hips, his adorable barely-there butt that you really want to pinch… And, of course, those warm brown eyes, that piercing gaze that seems to see right into the very core of you.

You can’t look away, even though holding his gaze as he swipes a warm cloth between your legs seems overwhelmingly intimate.

“Penny for them,” Marcus intones softly, noticing your staring.

“Where were you a decade ago?” you ask with a little laugh.

Marcus fixes you with a wry grin. “Finalizing my divorce,” he answers sardonically.

Oh, right. “Sorry,” you murmur.

“Don’t be,” he says gently. “We’re both here now, that’s what counts, right?” He discards the cloth and lies beside you again, taking you into his arms and kissing you tenderly on the forehead. “After all, we’ve got all the time in the world.”

#marcus pike #marcus pike x you #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x f!reader #marcus pike fanfiction #the mentalist #the mentalist fanfic #pedro pascal

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