#gender? on this crew? in THIS economy??

[trainsandkitties]

Name: Aleksander Kazimierz Zembrzuski Age: Appears to be in his 30s, is actually 42 Height: 195cm/6'4 Sexuality/Gender: Unknown Pronouns: He/Him Extra: -Born in 1948 in Chrzanów, raised in Bydgoszcz by foster parents -He had an extremely strained relationship with his caretakers so he spent most of his free time in Chrzanów with his aunt, Helena Zembrzuska -He can be groggy or even aggressive at times, but he'll always get behind people he considers "his crew" -He moved to Sodor in 1975 after being decomissioned in 1970 and sold to the NWR -He competed in the Great Railway Show in the strenght competition, representing the Polish People's Republic along with Beautiful Helena as a racer and two other Polish engines -His first friends on Sodor were Edward and Gordon, who helped him out financially when he first adjusted to the western economy

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Sam Wolfson at The Guardian:

A chill wind swept through Europe this summer. On the continent, far-right parties rose triumphantly in the EU elections, hoisted not just by the grumbles of older xenophobes but on the shoulders of young men. When news crews went out on the streets to train their cameras on these extremists in France, Germany, Finland and the Netherlands, they found no blackshirts, just barbershop trims and Zara chinos worn by young men, enthralled by dreams of ethnonationalism and a return to the values of the 1980s or the 1940s or some other period long before their birth. Then, in Britain this weekend, gangs of mostly young far-right men marauded through northern towns, attacking mosques and accommodation for asylum seekers. The nationalist right is rising once more on the tides of gelled-backed hair and Nike swooshes.

A similar transformation could befall America in November. Until now, twentysomething voters were a thorn in Donald Trump’s side, opposing him robustly in previous elections and making their resistance corporeal as leaders in the Women’s March, Black Lives Matter protests and climate movement. Yet recent election polls suggest that while young women remain committed to the cause, there has been a tremulous withdrawal from young men. In 2016, 51% of young men identified with or leaned toward the Democratic party. By last year, it was down to 39%. Young men now favor Republican control of Congress and their support for Trump has grown since 2020. The Democratic strategist James Carville (he who told Bill Clinton “it’s the economy, stupid”) has been warning Democrats that the party’s eroding numbers among young men and young people of color are “horrifying”: “We’re not shedding them; they’re leaving in droves.”

Of course, many of these fears were emerging when Joe Biden, an octogenarian white man, was still the presumptive Democratic nominee. But while early polling suggests that overall, gen Z is excited by Kamala Harris’s likely nomination, she hasn’t made much impact on gen Z men. Research by the Young Men Research Initiative (YMRI), a group set up in recent months to observe this unexpected drift, shows that men aged 18-29 are split 32% for Harris and 33% for Donald Trump, with Robert F Kennedy Jr taking 15%. This is an almost identical split to when Biden was the frontrunner. Young men used to vote more like young people: left. Now they might start voting like men: right. What changed?

Some pollsters believe we are witnessing a new politics of resentment – that young men feel #MeToo has gone too far, that feminism has left them behind, and that they can only see a home for themselves in a testosterone-fuelled Republican party.

Others – including Richard Reeves, head of the recently founded and influential American Institute for Boys and Men – say this isn’t a cultural issue. While a small, loud minority of men might have become more extreme in their views on feminism, most are responding to other economic and social factors that have meant they have lagged behind women for some time. Young men statistically are more depressed, financially worse off and less educated than young women, and looking for electoral answers. “This is less about young men being pulled towards the right than it is about them being pushed away from the left,” Reeves says. Blue-collar workers, Hispanic voters in Florida, white married women: Democrats have blundered before in assuming they had certain demographics locked up only to find they had taken them for granted. Unless the party can work out why it’s losing young men and how to win them back, Democrats may wake up to a cold new dawn in November, as Europe did in June.

‘A very scary time’: the politics of resentment

In 2018, a gaggle of the White House press corps asked Trump for his opinion on the allegations that Brett Kavanaugh, his nominee for the supreme court, had sexually assaulted Christine Blasey Ford when she was 15 years old. Trump, almost drowned out by the whirring blades of Marine One, could only offer superlatives in response. “High quality”, “top student”, “a great judge”. The reporters sounded desperate: what does it say to boys that someone facing such a serious accusation is still being considered for the supreme court? “Well, I say it’s a very scary time for young men in America,” Trump replied. “You could be somebody that was perfect your entire life and somebody could accuse you of something … and you’re automatically guilty.” Trump had dismissed his own boasts of sexual assault as “locker room talk” during his 2016 campaign, but now he was making his pitch directly to the locker room. Having harnessed the racial resentment of white voters who felt society had become too diverse, could he do the same with young men who felt society had become too feminized?

[...] Armed with this sort of feedback, it seems Trump has been heavily courting the young, resentful male vote. He has attended Ultimate Fighting Championship bouts until the early hours, walking out to Kid Rock’s American Badass. He has lately worked hard to position himself as the crypto candidate and is heavily promoting himself on TikTok. When Kid Rock, Hulk Hogan and Dana White, CEO of UFC, introduced him at the Republican convention, Kid Rock screamed at everyone to put their fists in the air and shout “fight!” as Trump had done after the attempt on his life. Trump even attended a sneaker conference to launch his own golden hi-tops. There are millions of progressive young men who won’t be interested in his proposition. LGBTQ+ men, for example, remain solidly progressive, as do young Asian American voters. But for others, Cox says Trump’s effort could work. “Logan Paul just had Trump on his show. He’s got over 7 million followers. Some young men who are not very political might say, ‘Oh, hey, you know, Trump showing up, he’s talking, he’s engaging. I kind of like this.’”

Why are young men moving rightwards in recent years? This Guardian article highlights the role of male resentment and entitlement over their perceived loss in social standing, especially in the #MeToo era.

The increase of testosterone-oriented culture in the UFC and MMA is also helping fuel these trends.

Read the full story at The Guardian.

[dum1s-writings]

Heya! I come from that-kid-fromtheplayground's blog! They reblogged your post and I thought It was pretty neat!

Um, If it's not much trouble then could I maybe get headcanons for being Alejandro's (tdwt) sibiling and being as hot as him and driving all the boys crazy just like he does with the girls but reader liking and flirting the most with Cody? Idk if I explained myself well lol /cries

[please, if you could maybe do the reader also protecting Cody from Sierra by putting her on her place? That girl creeps me out and also terrifies Cody and he's my fav character so... 💀]

Oh dear anon. Of course. Though I hope using gender neutral terms is okay. It's just what I work better with.

Info:

Reader is the younger sibling to Alejandro, so they'll have the same genetics. (

Reader is implied to look slightly more feminine than their brothers.

Any Spanish used will come from Google translate...I'm sorry.

I've decided the team Reader is on will be The Amazons, better for Cody and Sierra interactions.

Relationships: Platonic!Reader x Alejandro, OneSidedTDWTboys x Reader, Implied!Cody x Reader, Sierra vs Reader

Pronouns: They/Them

Warnings: Swearing, Manipulation from Reader, obsessive behavior from Sierra, terribly translated Spanish, only Alejandro being able to understand Reader and vice versa, Chris McLean

The World Tour contestants thought Alejandro and Sierra were the last surprises. But that changed when the young Spanish boy helped someone else out of the bus. They weren't super tall, just about 5'6" or so. They also looked surprisingly similar to Alejandro.

They had the same brown skin and dark brown hair, not nearly as long as Alejandro's. When they got closer to the contestants it was then the others noticed the lighter green eyes.

"This," Alejandro spoke up and pulled the shorter teen closer "is my youngest sibling, -Y/N-."

"Hola¹." Their voice was soft, but just as alluring as their older brother's. "I hope we can become good friends, even while competing against each other." -Y/N- smiled at the others and gave a particularly long look to Cody.

That was the beginning of the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was an off day for filming. Slow and easy flying for the cast and crew. Team Amazon was in first class, enjoying the luxuries of winning. -Y/N- wasn't with their team, rather they were in economy. They claimed they wanted to see their brother but that went out the window fast.

The younger Burromuetro did talk to Alejandro for a bit. They quickly started talking to some of the other guys though. Especially since their brother was talking to the girls. They both had the same idea and plan going on, being siblings and all.

"So then what'd you do next, Tyler?" -Y/N- was sitting close by the (mediocre) high school athlete. The brunette teen flushed.

"Well then I pushed past some of the guys and-"

"Hey. Time for bed." An intern walked to the teens. "Chris's orders. -Y/N- head back to first class, please." The Spanish teen pouted for a moment but nodded and got up.

"I hope you'll finish the story later, Ty." -Y/N- leaned down and hugged the boy.

"Y-yeah, of course." The athletic boy agreed and hugged the other contestant back. This got a smile from the Spanish contestants.

When the lone Amazon walked back to first class they heard a happy shout of their name. Looking over they saw Cody. He was waving them over, happily but frantically. The teen happily bounded over.

-Y/N- quickly hugged their brother "Buenos noches, hermano²~". Alejandro hugged them back, also saying goodnight. "Buenos noches, tontos crédulos³~". They waved to the others, the boys waved back.

"Cody, mi hermosa florcita⁴." -Y/N- sat by the shorter Amazon member. Completely ignoring the very obvious glares coming from behind them somewhere. "Are you doing okay?"

"Uh I'll just say," Cody started off, looked to the side real quick and leaned into -Y/N- "being around you makes me feel safe." He finished off with a whisper. This caught the green eyed teen's attention.

"Well, Cody," -Y/N- pulled the boy as close to them as possible "I'll stay with you all night~" Cody's face got very very warm and very very red. Yeah he's had fans before, Total Drama and his boy band, but never has someone so pretty willingly doted on him....without it being Sierra and her creepy habits.

"Thank-" the boy's voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "Thank you, -Y/N-. I really appreciate it."

"Anything for mi hermosa florcita⁴~" Cody moved a bit closer to his teammate. From somewhere behind them Sierra nearly ripped into her pillow with how tight her grip was. She did end up ripping into it when the Spanish contestant ended up running their fingers through HER Cody's hair.

The late night hours seemed to fly by. Soon an intern started waking up the contestants. Breakfast was served and eaten, Cody was sticking by -Y/N-'s side. Sierra didn't do that great of a job hiding her anger.

When the Amazons finished eating -Y/N- went to economy class. Cody tried to convince them otherwise but that was pointless. The Spanish contestant made their way to the other teams. Gotta keep the guys thinking they had a chance.

Sierra immediately took the opening and nearly tackled Cody. The day before he was allowed to sit with Gwen and Courtney. Then -Y/N- came back and took up her rightful spot by Cody. The purple haired girl took the opening immediately.

The Burromuetro siblings were talking. It was quiet and in Spanish. Most of the others assumed it was about their family and home life. What they wanted to do if they won the money.

Around lunch -Y/N- went back to their team. What they were greeted with was quite the sight. Most of the girls were eating a 5 star lunch on one side. Sierra was being Sierra and that got to the young Spanish contestant.

"HEY!!" -Y/N- shouted and got everyone's attention. "ACOSADOR LOCO⁵!!" They stomped over to Sierra, who had Cody trapped in her arms. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm just eating lunch with Cody-kins." Sierra frowned and waved a hand dismissively. "No need to get so worked up over it." The girl held onto her victim teammate tighter, Cody was getting more visibly scared. "Can't I talk with my fellow Amazon?"

"When that teammate is Cody?" The Burromuetro crossed their arms, clearly more irritated. "No. You have NO self control when it concerns Cody." -Y/N- gestured to their trapped crush teammate. "He's absolutely terrified right now!"

"Now you pleito esperando a suceder⁶," the Spanish Amazon grabbed Cody and with all their strength pulled him away from Sierra "I recommend you keep away from mi hermosa florcita⁴."

Unknown to the mostly girl team Chris had heard drama happening and being Chris he ordered the crew to start recording. And ho-boy did he get the drama he was looking for. Sierra tried grabbing Cody while -Y/N- tried to keep him away from the stalker.

”Listen here you maldito psicópata delirante⁷," the Spanish teen was glaring at the tall girl "if you don't stop your mierda espeluznante⁸ I swear on my bisabuela's⁹ grave," -Y/N- grabbed the front of Sierra's top and got as in her face as they could "if I EVER see you bothering Cody again I WILL ruin your life."

"You can say goodbye to ALL your blogs. All your online followers. Your ENTIRE internet existence will be whipped out." Sierra was struggling to get her shirt free and when -Y/N- finally let go the girl nearly fell backwards. "I'll make sure of it personally." Sierra just nodded, actually kind of scared and wanting to avoid the Spanish contestant.

The younger Burromuetro grabbed Cody's hand, being careful to not squeeze it too hard, walked to a couple of seats further away from everyone and sat down. They ordered some food for themself and their shaken up teammate. The taller of the two placed their head on the other's shoulder.

"Let me know if that perra psicópata¹⁰ is bothering you okay, mi hermosa florcita⁴."

"Alright." Cody spoke quietly and held -Y/N- hand gently. "Thank you." In that moment the Burromuetro promised to themself they'd protect the shorter contestant.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hola¹ - Hello

Buenos noches, hermano² - Goodnight, brother

Buenos noches, tontos crédulos³ - Goodnight, gullible fools

mi hermosa florcita⁴ - my lovely little flower

ACOSADOR LOCO⁵ - YOU CRAZY STALKER

pleito esperando a suceder⁶ - lawsuit waiting to happen

maldito psicópata delirante⁷ - fucking delusional psychopath

mierda espeluznante⁸ - creepy bullshit

bisabuela's⁹ - great grandma

perra psicópata¹⁰ - psycho bitch

Hopefully this was what you had in mind.

[stevesociety8]

The 2024 US presidential election may be too close to call, but commentators and pollsters alike seem clear about one thing: Trump vs Harris is a battle of the sexes. Apparently, this is ‘the gender-gap election’. It’s ‘America’s men vs women election’, claims the BBC. ‘The differences between how men and women view the state of the nation, the issues that matter and the candidates is the defining divide in American politics today’, argues USA Today. But just how real are these divisions?

Surveys certainly show a greater proportion of women than men backing Democratic candidate Kamala Harris. One recent poll suggests 53 per cent of women plan to vote Democrat, compared with only 36 per cent who back the Republicans. The same poll has men voting in the exact opposite way, with 53 per cent pledging to back Trump and 37 per cent backing Harris. This cuts across racial groups, too. A poll of black voters reports that 70 per cent of black men will back Harris, compared to 83 per cent of black women. Younger women are also far more likely to come out for Harris than younger men. These gender differences matter, because women cast their ballots in far greater numbers than men.

We should, however, be wary about reading too much into opinion polls. Nearly one in four Americans admits to lying about who they are supporting in the presidential election, with women more likely to say they are ‘not sure’ who they will vote for than men. Gen Z voters are especially happy to mislead pollsters. This is hardly surprising, given that women who backed Trump in 2016 were diagnosed as suffering from internalised misogyny. With Trump supporters being labelled ‘deplorable’, ‘garbage’, far right, fascists and Nazis, it is easy to see why people might give a more socially acceptable response to pollsters.

Whatever the truth behind the polls, the Democrats have not just leant into a gender divide, but also stoked it. Harris has seized on celebrity endorsements from the likes of Charli XCX, Beyoncé, Oprah Winfrey and Taylor Swift in the hopes of appealing to women. The stars came out in force to ensure that ‘this time, white women vote for a woman’. In other words, there must be no repeat of 2016, when white women misbehaved and backed Trump. Michelle Obama states it bluntly: ‘A vote for Trump is a vote against women.’ Her husband, meanwhile, has been chastising ‘the brothers’ for not ‘feeling the idea of having a woman as president’.

As part of her attempt to court the female vote, Harris has made reproductive rights central to her campaign. The Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe vs Wade in 2022 means there is genuine worry about continued access to abortion – an issue that, unsurprisingly, resonates more strongly with women than men. According to one survey, both men and women rate the economy as their primary concern when deciding who to vote for, but women rate abortion and women’s rights second. For men, this issue comes in seventh place. At the same time, some have accused Harris of fear-mongering and overstating the threat a Trump victory poses to abortion provision.

Despite what the headlines suggest, the gender gap may be more hype than reality. You might not sense it from reading the New York Times or the Washington Post, but plenty of women do back Trump – from erstwhile foes such as Tulsi Gabbard and Megyn Kelly to the Moms for Liberty crew and even black women who ‘are all-in for MAGA’.

Other women may not be throwing their weight behind Trump, but that doesn’t mean they’re voting for Harris, either. Novelist Lionel Shriver says that, as much as she hates Trump, Harris ‘has never had an original idea nor held a consistent principle’. Similarly, feminist Meghan Murphy believes that, while Trump might not be ‘perfect’, ‘the best option for America, for women, for children and for the working class is a Trump presidency’.

You can see why women are backing Trump. Harris might support abortion rights, but the Republicans are staking a claim to defending other crucial sex-based rights. At his recent Madison Square Garden rally, Trump promised that his team will get ‘transgender insanity the hell out of our schools, and we will keep men out of women’s sports’. He says he will ask Congress to pass a bill stating there are ‘only two genders’ and ban hormonal or surgical intervention for transgender children across the whole country. Harris has shied away from talking about such issues, leading some to argue that ‘the trans issue is losing Kamala the election’. Pitching to women – and defending women’s reproductive rights – while being unable to name women as biological females is surely a difficult act to pull off.

Ultimately though, as the campaign draws to an end, both Harris and Trump have resorted to patronising women. Trump’s promise last week to protect women ‘whether they like it or not’ has sparked outrage, with Harris describing the remark as ‘very offensive to women in terms of not understanding their agency, their authority, their right and their ability to make decisions about their own lives, including their own bodies’. She seems to have missed the point. Trump’s comment wasn’t a reference to abortion, but to illegal migration. And it was delivered as a joke at the expense of his advisers, who apparently warned him not to say it.

Harris’s comments about women’s agency would be more convincing were it not for a pro-Democrat advertisement currently doing the rounds. The video features Julia Roberts reminding women (presumably intimidated by their husbands) that, in the polling booth, ‘you can vote any way you want, and no one will ever know’. Thanks, Julia!

Women might be telling pollsters they back Harris, but they deserve far better than being patronised and insulted in turn. Having stoked a ‘historic gender gap’, it would only be fitting if the Democrats were to lose to a candidate who, if nothing else, knows what a woman is.

Joanna Williams is a spiked columnist and author of How Woke Won. She is a visiting fellow at Mathias Corvinus Collegium in Hungary.

[kgsupsccourses]

Daily Current Affairs for SSC (Staff Selection Commission) Aspirants

Staying updated with daily current affairs is crucial for SSC aspirants, as it helps in the General Awareness section of various SSC exams like SSC CGL, CHSL, and others. Let’s dive into the key current events that can help boost your preparation for upcoming exams.

1. India’s Economic Growth Projections

The International Monetary Fund (IMF) recently revised India's GDP growth forecast for the year 2024. According to the IMF’s World Economic Outlook, India is expected to grow at 6.3% in 2024, reaffirming its position as the world’s fastest-growing major economy. This revision is based on India’s strong domestic demand and robust investment activities. SSC aspirants should note the significance of this update as questions on global economic forecasts and India's standing in global economies are common in the General Awareness section.

2. Gaganyaan Mission Update

India’s space agency, ISRO (Indian Space Research Organisation), has completed crucial tests for its ambitious Gaganyaan mission. The crew escape system successfully underwent a key test, marking a significant step towards launching India’s first manned space mission. With this achievement, India is on track to join an elite group of countries capable of human spaceflight. Aspirants should stay informed about major ISRO projects, as they are frequent topics in SSC exams, especially with India's growing prominence in space research.

3. India-Pakistan Trade Relations

After a five-year hiatus, informal discussions regarding trade between India and Pakistan have resumed. While both nations continue to face political and diplomatic challenges, experts are hopeful about the potential normalization of trade ties. This development is crucial, considering the strategic and economic implications for both countries. Questions on international relations and trade are common in SSC exams, so this is an important topic to track.

4. Women’s Reservation Bill Passed

In a landmark decision, the Indian Parliament has passed the Women’s Reservation Bill, ensuring 33% reservation for women in Lok Sabha and State Assemblies. This move has been widely lauded as a step towards greater gender representation in Indian politics. Such legislative developments often appear in SSC exams, especially those relating to social reforms and governance.

5. Environmental News: India’s Green Hydrogen Mission

India has launched a comprehensive plan to become a global leader in the production of green hydrogen. This initiative aims to reduce carbon emissions, promote renewable energy, and achieve energy security. Understanding India’s green energy ambitions can be vital for SSC aspirants, as topics related to sustainable development and environmental policies are gaining importance.

[sublimeobservationarcade]

Blame It On The Poor Immigrant

The conversation among my work crew is a fairly good reflection of the average discursive exchange happening around the nation at the moment, I reckon. Dressed as we are in high viz gear and steel capped boots ensconced in our work ute on the way to the site. Smoko ramps up with the news of the day and plenty of opinions. One of my erstwhile colleagues, a migrant from the old country, was voicing her support for those kicking up a stink in Britain. Blaming it on too many immigrants coming into the country and receiving special treatment to the detriment of those who really belong there. Blame it on the poor immigrant. Arnold Rasnick, Virginia-Pocahontas Coal Company by U.S. National Archives is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

Revoking The Commonwealth

This is a popular theme here, there and everywhere, it seems. The cost of living and housing crises are biting a lot of working people on the bum at the moment. Blame it on the new arrivals is a perennial sentiment, especially when they have different coloured skin and look different. The thing about Britain is that for centuries the old empire was out and about taking stuff from lands abroad and enriching itself. Colonising places and imposing imperial rule upon their populations was their main game. Some of those coloured folk, their descendants anyway, have come to the United Kingdom to make it their home. Pakistani’s, West Indian’s,  African’s and plenty from other spots too have settled in England. It might be convenient to have a very short memory but there are consequences to historical actions. Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

Righteous Racists Blaming People Of Colour

The race riots have been fuelled by misinformation and lies put about on social media by far right groups and racist individuals with large followings. Andrew Tate, Laurence Fox, Elon Musk and the other fascists pulling the strings. The horrendous stabbing murders of 3 girls and 8 others with knife wounds in Southport were immediately and falsely attributed to a Muslim refugee. In fact, this mentally ill young guy was born in Britain but was of the wrong coloured skin for many of these patriotic Brits online. Hundreds of angry righteous blokes have gone on a rampage attacking refugee centres and mosques around the country. The police have copped it in their attempts to defend innocent people and maintain law and order. This is not really about the murders of innocent kids; it is about venting rage and frustration for its own sake. There is a surfeit of violent passion being whipped up by social media and the culture wars happening right now. We are all being screwed by our economies and big business these days. Most folk don’t know who to take it out on and are being manipulated into blaming the state. The state has been sucked dry by private corporate interests called private equity under the banner of neoliberalism. Their political allies hide behind bullshit smoke screens like immigration, LGBTQI gender issues, and the anti-woke puppet show. Cowards and bullies like to punch down upon weaker victims like refugees and trans people, they hardly ever take on the real people who are stealing their lunch. Downward envy is encouraged by the authoritarian right wing parties and the Murdoch press. Divide and conquer by getting people to fight amongst themselves whilst the wealthy dance on our heads is the order of the day. “Nursing leaders have expressed their horror at racist violence across the UK, as two Filipino nurses have been among the targets of far-right rioters. Riots first broke out in Southport, Merseyside last Tuesday (30 July) after far-right agitators began a misinformation campaign on social media falsely claiming the perpetrator of a mass knife attack on a group of children in the town the previous day was a Muslim.” - (https://www.nursingtimes.net/news/leadership-news/filipino-nurses-attacked-as-nhs-community-condemns-racist-riots-05-08-2024/) Jeff Bezos by U.S. Air Force is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0 Identity Politics Playing You For A Fool Identity politics is smoke and mirrors, it is a scam perpetuated upon those who don’t bother to look into things. Here is a tip, much of the stuff that enrages you online is BS. It is purposely designed to provoke you and get you losing your shit and not thinking straight. Demonising gay and trans people, demonising immigrants and refugees, these are not the people getting rich at your expense. Wake up sunshine! Dig a little deeper and don’t believe everything you read online. There are people like Rupert Murdoch making money out of your rage. There are people in Russia misinforming you for their own nefarious designs. There are populists wanting power who are promising you they will make it all better – they won’t. Maybe spend a little less time in the gym and try exercising your brain instead. Ask yourself the question – who benefits? This is the key to every investigation. You know if they kicked out every migrant and every gay person you would still have the same problems. It is a scam. These poor people are not taking your piece of the pie. It is the billionaires and their underlings gobbling up the pie at your expense. It is always the same old story, nothing ever changes. Robert Sudha Hamilton is the author of America Matters: Pre-apocalyptic Posts & Essays in the Shadow of Trump. ©MidasWord Photo by Kelly on Pexels.com Read the full article

[existotherwise]

Wednesday, July 17, 2024 6:54pm

I promise I'm not being dramatic. I don't think anyone really cares for me, or maybe I haven't allowed them to really love me other than in person or over the phone, and any admiration I had stirred years ago, when I was more active, has dried up due to an infrequent presence online.

I'm at one of the worst places in my life thus far, and almost everyone I've developed attachment to over the years has frankly disposed of me, as in factual evidence and not a flare of drama.

I could sit staring at the walls and letting my time blindness unfold into the infinite void of the present, but I try to only feel the ocean waves pummeling my corporeal spirit when consented.

Since top surgery, I've felt more myself than ever before. I took time away in the woods over the winter to allow myself to fully embrace my new range of embodiment. I felt more myself when I was living alone for 4 months in a cabin on a hill in the forest than I do when I must interact with people within hierarchical resource economies for support.

There seems to be some very hidden very subconcious difference in the way that people with resources see me vs. the way that I see myself and how I value my offerings to them. It's as if I believe I am worthy, and they do not. As each domino falls however, I become more desperate... reinforcing a disillusioned banishment from cisgender society.

The base of this alternate reality is a predisposition to being "fully self sufficient" (as one of my friends, an elderly southern aristocratic cis gay man has told me bluntly). Allyship only goes so far to say: "If you can't provide for yourself the same way that I can, than I'm passing the buck to the next person down your already limited list of contacts that believe your reality is more than likely plausible."

Haven't they ever heard of the bystander effect? If Kitty Genovese got a chance to become elderly, she'd puke in disgust, but alas... she lies in dust in Lakeview Cemetary.

So, I'm arriving at a point of legacy-building....

One of my dearest trans friends died in 2018 in the ocean, drown to death, didn't know how to swim and got caught in a rip current. They were one of the brightest lights I still to this day have ever experienced. I went to the memorial. I went to the funeral. The loss of vitality of trans people happens more frequently to suicide or violence, but nevertheless Mother Nature scooped them up and the loss was felt heavily on me and the other trans people in our crew.

I'm haunted by not knowing how to advise a grieving mother on how to gender her baby correctly when the casket is open and the heart wound fresh. They were not gender in the way they wanted to be remembered, but what haunts me more is there is only a small trace of their legacy accessible to the public.

Their art hasn't been archived like Francesca Woodman's or Jimmy DeSana's. Their family did not start an estate, nor did I make them privy to my friend's last words to me ("I have so much more new shit I'm excited to share with you.").

.

.

This is the crux of my soul-death -- If I do not leave this realm with everything already archived and in order for someone to find... If I do not entrust my archive, my storage unit, my computer, account, hard drive passwords with someone who understands me and knows how hard I worked at this shit, knows how I felt intimately about my practice... then nothing was worth it. I'm just a spring cleaning away from the record of my creative mind decaying next to fast fashion in a landfill.

And in this same sentiment, I've recently felt like my present existence [this bodybag that doesn't have a job, can't pay rent, and is barely eating] is ultimately devalued by anyone I have ever felt like I'd write down as my Executor in my "After I'm Gone Organizer" (I neurotically impulse-bought a few months ago when all of this started) or trust with signing over my Google account to or given a spare key to my storage unit.

The only things that keep me going are Archive Fever, my kitten, the motto my dad signs ["I'm Still Standing Ya Ya Ya" (Elton John)] and surrounds with stickers on his letters to me, the discourse on suicide from Heathers (1988), and "Don't Try Suicide" by Queen.

[Pray for us]

[anhthyho048]

Week 7 - Are those beauties realistic?

The lecture this week covered the topic of micro-celebrity practices on social media in contemporary times, detailing the process of monetization through visibility labour and the phenomenon of pornification that shapes the aesthetic templates adopted by many users, often reinforced by platform algorithms. Additionally, it explored how the heightened visibility of these aesthetic templates can contribute to concerns regarding body image.

How attention is monetised

According to Drenten et al. (2019, p. 42), the ability to monetise relies on the attention garnered by digital content. In the "attention economy," attention is a scarce and valuable resource that functions as a form of capital since once attention is measured, it can be marketised and financed (Drenten et al., 2019, p. 42). This has led to the emergence of "influencer commerce," where individuals create digital content to attract attention from a following on social media, often incorporating commodities into their everyday lives, and thus, influencer marketing on social media has become a multi-billion-dollar industry, with influencers predominantly being women who set cultural scripts adopted by everyday social media users, particularly on platforms like Instagram as depicted by Drenten et. al (2019, p. 42). 

The problematic side of the influencers industry

Drenten et al. (2019, p. 42) noted that influencer marketing in the attention economy significantly reinforces conforming to heteronormative standards of attractiveness and femininity, often through sexualised self-presentation on social media. This aligns with the concept of "porn chic," where mainstream culture incorporates aesthetics from pornography (Drenten et al., 2019, p. 42). Ultimately, influencers aim to attract attention, gain likes and increase monetisation potential, with adherence to these norms being valued and attention-grabbing.

Some examples of those heteronormative standards in both masculinity, as Terry Crews, a sports player who is considered to work in a testosterone-fuelled environment, and femininity, as Kylie Jenner, who was described to have ideal beauty with exaggerated curves to their noticeably plumped lips below (Rix-Standing, 2018; Senft, 2013). 

By continuously reinforcing the particular templates of beauty, for example, the template of Kylie Jenner as a perfect beauty standard for feminity, those templates would likely become a mainstream criterion of beauty that women "should" orient to. However, it could lead to a body image crisis relating to the unrealistic standards backed by the inequality in the way platforms’ algorithms choose what is to visible and what is not. According to Duffy and Meisner (2022), people of marginalised groups such as ones with queer identities or with ethnic identities would likely receive both formal and informal punishments from TikTok. As a result, there is evidently a bias toward what is normative and mainstream as well as excluding what is beyond it would directly lead to a crisis of body image for users who cannot adopt or are not naturally born with mainstream identities, including their appearance. 

In summary, the rise of micro-celebrity culture on social media, driven by the attention economy and platform algorithms, has reshaped influencer marketing. While this has led to the monetisation of online personas and the establishment of cultural norms, it also raises concerns about body image. The normalisation of heteronormative ideals perpetuated by influencers can exacerbate insecurities and marginalise non-conforming individuals. As we engage with digital platforms, it's essential to critically assess their impact on societal perceptions of beauty and identity.

References

Drenten, J., Gurrieri, L., & Tyler, M. (2019). Sexualized labour in digital culture: Instagram influencers, porn chic and the monetization of attention. Gender, Work & Organization, 27(1). https://doi.org/10.1111/gwao.12354

Duffy, B. E., & Meisner, C. (2022). Platform governance at the margins: Social media creators’ experiences with algorithmic (in)visibility. Media, Culture & Society, 45(2), 016344372211119. https://doi.org/10.1177/01634437221111923

Lang, C. (2023, July 28). Even the Kardashians Can’t Keep Up With Their Beauty Ideals. Time. https://time.com/6298911/kardashians-kylie-jenner-boob-job-beauty-standards/

Rix-Standing, L. (2018, November 19). Six male celebrities changing the conversation around masculinity. The Independent. https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/international-mens-day-2018-masculinity-mental-health-prince-harry-daniel-craig-dwayne-johnson-a8641256.htmlSenft, T. (2013). Microcelebrity and the Branded Self. In A Companion to New Media Dynamics. Chicester : Wiley.

[astralbooks]

A Tale of Seashells and Shenanigans - Alex Nonymous

Read: November 14th 2023 - November 16th 2023

Rating: 5/5

Rep: disabled (chronic pain, cane user) ace non-binary main character, autistic aroace love interest, queer side characters, disabled (amputee) achillean side character

CW (listed in back of book): ableism, negative self talk about queerness, negative self talk about disability, non-malicious mispronouning, very brief mention of suicidal ideation, discussed transphobia, lashing out, autistic meltdown, gender dysphoria, discussed unsafe binding, swearing

Review:

Something Alex is incredibly skilled at, and this is something I’ve noticed across many of his books, is that she takes two characters whose initial opinions of each other are so terrible (and often for very good reasons) that I’m left wondering how on earth they could possibly get to a point where they can tolerate each other, let alone love each other, and then they show me the progression of the characters’ relationship, and does it so well that I’m left just completely convinced of it. Enemies-to-lovers (and variations thereupon) are so, SO hard to get right, and it’s so easy for the characters to go from A to B in what seems like an instant to the reader, but Alex Never Does This. The relationships in Alex’s books always, always feel earned, and this one is no exception.

Especially as the initial dislike Nico has for Tillie partly stems from totally justified outrage at being dragged on a quest and partly from them being Deeply Uncomfortable at the mirror Tillie is turning out to be. Watching Nico having to come to terms with the latter part of this while very gradually forgiving the former part of this was so fun!

I did not go into this expecting there to be a queer and/or disabled pirate crew captained by someone whose ex captains a rival pirate crew which occasionally gets into skirmishes with his own, but I was delighted by everything about that subplot.

As a genderqueer person who goes by a shortened version of their og name among friends and online but still uses their longer og name in professional settings and with coworkers, Yeah. I think this is the first time I’ve come across a non-binary character with this relationship to their og name. Some people have deadnames, and some people have Formal names, and it was neat to see a depiction of the latter!

I cannot emphasise enough how healing the core relationship of this book was to read about. As Nico grows to like Tillie and enjoy spending time with her, they develop a crush on Tillie. Tillie, as it turns out, is aroace, and so cannot reciprocate Nico’s romantic feelings. Since I started reviewing books I have read two separate books in which the main character falls for someone who’s aro, gets cruelly rejected as a result, and it’s this big deal that hugely impacts the book and even becomes the tragic-backstory emotional crux of the story, because how dare the aro person be aro??? Alex looked at that situation and went: No thanks! If you care about someone, you’re not gonna be cruel when telling them you don’t reciprocate their feelings, whether you're aro or not. If you care about someone, you’re not gonna act like them not reciprocating your feelings is some great tragedy, whether they’re aro or not. Nico and Tillie care about each other. Maybe it’s the arospec in me, but even if you do feel romantically attracted to someone, it’s seriously not the end of the world if you never do anything about it. You can still enjoy having those feelings while also getting to have that person in your life as your friend! Speaking from experience here, I promise it’ll be okay! This book is a love story, but not a romantic one, and while Nico says at one point they think they might have bit of a crush on Tillie forever, the relationship between Nico and Tillie is not a romantic one because Tillie is aroace and that is respected and guess what!!! The world didn’t end!!!!!

The sea having a concept of the economy and refusing to do anything to disrupt it is very funny to me for some reason kjdhsfkg

Also Alex if you ever do want to write a follow up about the other members of The House, 👀

[bestlocalbusinesses]

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[cebwrites]

heart pirates!! ❤️🏴‍☠️ i’ve always wanted to draw all the goobers i’ve named and i finally had enough of a kick to do it!! 

this is a little different from my usual format and setup, but fuck it i’ll include a cursory introduction under the cut

maybe more general hcs later on if anyone would be interested in hearing any specifics? 🤔

Heart Pirates - Intro

Bepo and Law are the youngest Heart Pirates at 22, and 26, Shachi and Penguin are 27 and 28 respectively; everyone else is in their late-20s to mid-40s. Cal is early 20s but I don’t much consider him ‘canon’ a lot of the time

As far as we’ve seen from brief glimpses in the anime and manga, it looks like Fang could be the Heart’s helmsman - he’s grown to view Bepo quite fondly through their interactions since Bep is the resident navigator - Fang likes teasing his polar friend but will just as quickly come to Bepo’s aid and defense, battle axe at the ready

Ikakku is one of the Tang’s engineers and self-appointed mom friend of the crew - she’s never in one place for very long, running up and down to make sure everything’s in tip top shape at all times; if Law isn’t around, Ikakku insists that everything would fall apart if she wasn’t there to make everyone pick up their own slack She also refills her insomniac captain’s coffee frequently and uses that opportunity to act like an affectionately annoying older sibling

Although Bepo is usually the one people would assume is Law’s first mate, duties pertaining to it are split between him, Penguin, and Shachi -the three of them and Ikakku converge a lot because the responsibilities they assign themselves tend to overlap, but Penguin typically still likes to keep a modicum of decorum when the others start getting cheeky and even Ikakku can’t resist joining in on the fun

Hake handles finances and Hoki helps them organize their hellish workspace - they’re both haughty and catty by trade, but can be sweet when they need to be - Hake was also a tattoo artist prior to joining the crew and is responsible for a lot (but not all) of the crew’s in tat work

Additionally, every Heart Pirate with the exception of Bepo has their jolly roger inked somewhere on their body, along with more personal tattoos for specific members in particular

Bas and Laeno are the chefs responsible for feeding this big ol’ Heart Pirate family, Dorie helps around when things get too hectic 

Law can’t be the only doctor on board, right? (especially with how frequently they go AWOL) Marl and Gul are the ones who handle most medical things if their captain isn’t around, although Law makes sure that at least a little more than two thirds of his crew have basic first aid knowledge if push comes to shove

Marl also sneaks candies to Bepo if he’s been particularly brave during a scary procedure that day 

I’d like to think that Uni also has some medical expertise before meeting Law (what’s behind the scarf sir you hiding some Katakuri teefies, maybe fishman or other beastly traits perhaps??? 👀) Clione likes to help to the best of his abilities but he’s ends up getting in the way sometimes; he’s better off running things in the boiler rooms

I’m not entirely sure what Ani’s role would be yet, but honestly that could lean well to them helping Jean Bart get acclimated to the crew once he’s brought on board as someone who generally fades into the background a lot and would know how everything runs, she’s showing peepaw the ropes with (mostly) an unbiased lens

[stargazer-dreamer]

What’s Life Like, Bleeding on the Floor?

character: vampire spike spiegel

content warnings: nsfw; overstimulation and a slight breeding kink. dom spike, vampiric blood loss and related injuries. power imbalance, with a bit of dubious consent. discrimination…towards vampires (politics™)

reader: afab, but gender neutral

notes: you know that goofy halloween image, with the crew all dressed up in their costumes, and spike deciding to be a vampire? yeah.

also on ao3!!

Of course you were his own personal blood bank, spirited away aboard the ship and usually found in his room, where the act in question was commonly preformed. It didn’t hurt—not all that much anyway—but then, the bite was meant to quickly enact a sense of pleasure, to ensure a proper feeding. Not only was the liquid obtained, but the life essence as well; rejuvenating the vampire involved, and leaving you with little to low energy—hence your habitual place in his quarters, curled up warm in his bunk. Traditionally, this was used as a means to subdue the prey, but times have changed, and vampirism has become more accepted in the public eye; so this was nothing more than an unfortunate side effect to many who partook in that type of meal.

And while his kind were no longer legally persecuted for simply existing, it didn’t mean he felt entirely comfortable living in modern society as it was. That’s where you came in. Feeding from the source directly is now heavily frowned upon, safer and more easier ways coming into fruition with the times, but Spike didn’t care. He had you, and your agreement was simple enough: give him your body, however many times he craved it, and room and board were free.

In this economy? Given how hard it was to survive just being human, you were rather quick to take him up on his offer. What’s a little blood loss every once in a while?

And when he sunk his teeth into your beating pulse, you found it hard to complain. Especially when he made you feel like that, high from the euphoria; and afterwards, after he’s drunk his fill and tongued your neck better, the rush of adrenaline coursing through him usually manifested itself in certain ways. Most frequently—and, admittedly, your favorite—it ended with his dick inside of you, chasing a release with the frantic roll of his hips. Added that, the previous pleasure still clouding your mind, and your energy all but depleted, you welcomed him to the hilt, moaning his name as you gave him all of you, exactly like you promised.

And when he came, you already having spent yourself several times over, writhing and crying underneath him, he did it inside, filling you up and leaving it there, still buried deep. And he wished, to himself, that a vampire could fill a human up with something else, too.

Another reason why you preferred to stay in his room rather than out on the ship proper—it was sort of awkward, for you. Your relationship with Spike was a bit…unconventional, to say the least; and you often found it difficult being around the lone other member of Bebop: the captain himself. Your status there nearly always brought up in one way or another, casually or otherwise, during conversation.

Jet was polite with you, of course. He treated you fairly, and often asked if you were doing okay, or acquired after anything you might have needed or wanted. Your agreement with the resident vampire included him too, partially; after all, it was his ship that you were practically freeloading on, masquerading as a source of food for his partner. But human food emptied the pockets at a slower rate, compared to purchasing the supplies necessary for Spike’s continued survival—and why was it, that vampires were no longer seen as a threat to society, but to live as one inherently costs so much more?—so he didn’t have much of a reason not to let you stay, as long as he could continue the life he currently had.

His stance on Spike, however, was firm; he would step in, if things got too out of hand—if Spike habitually took too much, or if you decided you were uncomfortable with the situation, even a tiny bit. You knew Jet would drop you off at the next planet, had things seemed out of place, away from Spike and the small confines of the ship. It was no secret, the three of you knew, obvious, that there was no way you could fight off a vampire—much less Spike himself—had he decided that what you were willing to give was not enough.

But you didn’t feel that way. Content and within agreement to your spoken contract, life like that went on.

He fed from you several times a week. Typically, in modern society, a vampire only has to feed once every seven days, and even then it’s usually not so much—roughly about a pint, or so. But you wouldn’t call Spike’s indulgence feeding, exactly—it was more akin to snacking. After a rather strenuous workout, or after cashing in a bounty. When he was bored, or in a particularly good mood. The chaser for a drink, or just a simple treat throughout the day. And it’s not like he took a pint every time—a nibble here, just a drop there, knowing full well that you were not a limitless supply.

Still, somedays you felt lightheaded, and others fatigued. On the days when it became too hard to ignore, and Spike hungry still, you often found yourself placating the other desire that often sung just beneath his skin. He had a hard time differentiating between the two, you came to realize, even when he knew this about himself already. You used this to your advantage, quite frequently.

It still left you a mess against the sheets. He could go for hours, like that, rocking in and out, fixated on one pressing thing.

Even so, when he had a proper meal, fangs buried deep and taking exactly how much he wanted, his dick wasn’t so far behind. But, again, you liked that about your sessions—about him, unrestrained with his inhibitions chucked away at the simple sight of you. And when he showed you his teeth, all bloodied and bare, the two most noticeable glinting in the low light—you thought then, if he were to devour you whole, that you wouldn’t complain too much at all.

[godsvvept]

º   .   ♔   ⸻   the  capital  of  king’s  landing  welcomes  GWYNESSE  of  HOUSE ( s )  LANNISTER  (  by  marriage  ) &  GOODBROTHER (  by  birth ),  the  LADY  of  LANNISPORT.  the  THIRTY  year  old  CISWOMAN  is  reputed  to  be  ENTERPRISING  and  MELLIFLUOUS,  but  with  the  eyes  of  court  watching  their  every  move,  they  might  turn  out  to  be  IMPERIOUS  and  DESENSITIZED.  when  songs  are  sung,  their  verses  speak  of  THE  TIDE  VICIOUSLY  BREAKING  AGAINST  THE  SAND  AND  SPLASHING  AGAINST  THE  WALL,  A  NEVER  ENDING,  ALL  TOO  FAMILIAR  CALLING  ;    “WHAT  IF  I  TOLD  YOU  I’M  SPLIT  IN  HALF?  WHAT  IF  I  TOLD  YOU:  I’M  THE  KNIFE?”  ;  PENELOPE,  THE  QUEEN  OF  ITHACA,  PATIENTLY  TENDING  TO  THE  WEAVING  OF  A  SHROUD  AND  OF  A  FUTURE  OF  HER  OWN  DESIGN.  whispers  throughout  the  seven  kingdoms  claim  that  their  allegiance  lies  with  HOUSE  LANNISTER  OF  LANNISPORT  /  HERSELF,  where  they  conspire  to  GET  RID  OF  THE  SQUABBLES  ON  HER  SHIPYARD  AND  INSTAL  HER  HUSBAND  AS  RULING  LORD.  but  in  the  end  fealty  means  little  when  you  play  the  game  of  thrones.

full  name  :  gwynnesse  lannister,  née  goodbrother. alias  /  nickname  :  gwyn,  ness,  senne, the  gilded  siren. age  :  thirty. gender  and  pronouns  :  ciswoman  and  she / her. orientation  :  demisexual  demiromantic. occupation : lady  consort  of  lannisport  ( as  wife  of  the  lord  heir ),  secretly  acting  regent  of  lannisport. faceclaim :  naomi  battrick.

date  of  birth  :  first  month  of  the  year  of  270. parents  :  gorold  goodbrother  &  eydis  farwynd. siblings  :  eleven  sisters  (  two  older,  nine  younger ) and  three  brothers ( all  older ). significant  other :  tba  lannister,  lord  heir  of  lannisport. offspring  :  at  least  five  children.  she  does  not  always  remember  their  names. religious affiliation : the  faith  of  the  seven ( public;  converted  by  marriage ),  the  drowned  god ( by  birth ). 

inspirations : eleanor  guthrie ( black  sails ), jocelyn  castell (  jamestown ), penelope  of  ithaca ( odyssey ), cersei  lannister ( asoiaf ), ariel ( the  little  mermaid ), georgia ( ginny  &  georgia ), isabella  the  she  wolf  of  france (  history + knightfall ), livia  drusilla ( domina ), emma  of  normandy ( history + vikings  valhalla ), nurbanu  sultan (  magnificent  century +  history ), caroline  collingwood  and  marcia  roy ( succession ).

                    application  ; full  statistics ; tdlr  and  connections  below  the  cut.

trigger  warning  for : toxicity ( both  for  her  #girlboss  gaslight  gatekeep  ways  and  for  her  actually  poisoning  her  father  in  law  oop. )

as  the  third  born  daughter,  it  seems  all  that  she  could  be  has  already  been  taken  by  either  gael  (  begrudgingly,  the  childrearing  )  or  gyda  (  their  mother’s  old  chainmaille  )  —  straining  for  individuality  or  selfishness  (  one  and  the  same,  at  times,  but  who  cares  ),  young  gwyn  would  attempt  to  reach  out  for  father  instead,  an  endeavor  that  while  others  (  most  of  the  other  goodbrother  girls  )  would  fail,  she  would  succeed.  before  the  rebellion  made  him  harder,  and  even  afterwards,  she  took  prize  in  being  one  of  the  few  to  pry  a  smile  out  of  him,  and,  most  of  all,  she  enjoyed  accompanying  him  to  the  family  mines,  learning  of  the  ores  and  the  business  and  economy,  while  taking  home  whatever  shiny  little  rock  she  could.

although  she  trained  with  the  sword,  as  well  as  the  needle  (  her  mother  had,  after  all,  been  a  notorious  shieldmaiden  and  now  she  was  a  loyal  wife  who  had  given  her  lord  fifteen  children  ),  gwynesse  preferred  the  former,  if  only  because  being  a  lady  paired  up  well  with  what  she  was  truly  good  at  :  cunning.

still,  once  she  was  sixteen,  she  asked  to  take  a  part  of  a  crew  that  would  travel  to  essos.  although  she  cared  nothing  for  physical  exertion  activities,  she  greatly  enjoyed  the  trip  —  it  made  her  realize  that  the  iron  islands  were  nothing  compared  to  the  world  and,  perhaps,  she  would  rather  be  elsewhere.  somewhere  better,  greater.

the  realization  of  her  wish  was  a  double  edged  sword:  while  she  did  manage  to  go  somewhere  greater,  she  almost  died  (  or  actually  died,  and  was  brought  back  to  life  by  the  drowned  god  who  wished  to  set  her  to  greatness,  in  her  own  mind  )  when  the  ship  wrecked,  and  she  washed  around  westerland  waters.  she  was  rescued  by  the  heir  to  lannisport,  who  took  a  liking  to  her  and  took  her  to  his  home  to  be  cared  for.  there,  fearing  she  would  be  killed  or  worse  for  being  an  ironborn,  she  pretended  to  be  amnesiac  and  was  allowed  to  remain  at  the  castle  out  of  courtesy.  

during  that  time,  she  effectively  managed  to  make  the  lord  heir  fall  for  her  (  and  if  she  fell  for  him  too,  it  was,  then,  a  sweet  consequence  ).  once  she  fell  with  child,  she  arranged  so  her  brothers  would  come  retrieve  her  —  the  shot  gun  of  sorts  wedding  was  a  good  enough  deal,  for  she  did  bring  a  big  dowry,  even  if  her  father  -  in  -  law  (  and  possibly  her  husband,  though  he  was  easier  to  bend  )  was  not  very  pleased  with  having  an  ironborn  for  a  daughter.

within  two  years  after  that,  her  husband  was  called  to  lead  a  part  of  the  lannister  fleet,  and  gwynesse  remained  at  lannisport,  bregundigly  bearing  babies  and  facing  scrutiny  from  the  westerlanders  who  thought  of  her  as  too  foreign  to  be  trusted  —  a  sentiment  her  father  -  in  -  law  shared,  refusing  to  allow  her  in  and  aid  him  with  anything  of  importance,  much  to  her  distaste.  at  some  point,  she  begins  poisoning  him  with  lead  (  something  that  has  no  taste,  no  smell  and  that  slowly  can  drive  one  to  madness  and  several  other  unpleasant  physical  ailments  ),  which  leads  him  to  become  more  dependent  on  her  and,  of  course,  she  takes  advantage  of  that  to  help  him  rule  lannisport.

currently,  it’s  been  over  ten  years  since  the  poisoning  started,  and  if  anyone  points  at  her,  gwynesse  is  offended  and  can  easily  begin  tearing  up  if  necessary,  even  offering  to  take  on  his  food  and  drink  if  they  are  so  suspicious.  her  husband  defends  her,  likely  unbeknownst,  something  she  is  glad  for.  gwynesse  has  no  qualms  in  engaging  in  falsity,  and  even  takes  enjoyment  of  that,  of  this  power.

her  father  -  in  -  law  is  greatly  debilitated,  of  course,  and  she  is,  for  all  purposes,  mistress  and  ruler  of  lannisport,  a  duty  she  does  not  take  lightly  and  tries  her  best  to  always  stay  on  top,  either  that  be  to  know  who  comes  into  town,  what  goods  arrive  and  of  the  deals  happening  in  it — it  is  an  understatement  to  say  she  is  controlling,  and  likes  things  her  way.  while  some  may  frown  at  such  power  being  granted  to  an  ironborn,  most  have  come  to  terms  that  she  is  as  westerlander  as  one  can  be,  proved  by  her  loyalty  to  lannisport  and  to  the  many  children  she  has  birthed  and  raises  under  the  light  of  the  seven.  

truthfully,  she  does  not  feel  westerlander  —  but  also  she  no  longer  feels  ironborn.  this  is  not  a  sentiment  that  disturbs  her  much,  however,  for  she  is  content  with  her  position  and  very  busy  occupation,  but  she  is  growing  more  bothered  by  the  day  by  the  ironborn  growing  bolder  around  the  westerlands  coast  and  how  that  may  disturb  her  security  in  her  role.  besides  mother,  wife,  ruler,  daughter,  sister,  she  is  now  being  pushed  to  be  a  diplomat,  a  position  that  may  be  all  too  suited  to  her  silver  tongued  ways,  but  that  she  is  less  pleased  to  juggle,  as  it  may  jeopardize  all  that  she  prizes  and  worked  so  hard  to  build.

i’d  love  more  goodbrothers,  particularly  geirdis,  her  twin  sister  (  annie  has  put  the  wc  on  the  main  with  all  the  information  but  i’m  glad  to  help  out  with  more  ideas  if  needed  ).  the  goodbrothers  are  often  around  lannisport,  either  for  business  or  for  familial  affection.

the  friendship  is  not  entirely  stretched  to  the  other  ironborn,  but  it  wouldn’t  be  unlikely  some  do  come  in  lannisport  and  i  think  interactions  between  gwyn,  who  has  definitely  been  ‘corrupted’  by  the  way  of  the  westerosi  and  enjoys  dealing  with  the  gold  price  rather  than  the  iron  price,  and  her  old  countrymen.

anyone  from  the  westerlands  or  who  stops  by  lannisport  really.  this  also  includes  people  who  have  not  come  to  lannisport,  but  do  deals  within  the  city  or  with  the  lannisters  of  lannisport,  as  she  often  speaks  for  them  all

due  to  the  children  and  to  her  duties  at  the  realm  of  lannisport,  she  is  not  often  away  from  it,  but  it’s  possible  her  husband  could  have  taken  her  to  some  nearby  places,  or  even  acquaintances  from  that  travel  over  a  decade  ago,  when  she  was  just  one  out  of  many  goodbrothers

the  lannisters  of  lannisport!  please!!!  at  the  moment  i  only  have  her  husband  and  his  sister,  but  they’re  both  pretty  interesting  —  there’s  all  sort  of  things  to  explore  with  her  husband,  his  position  at  sea,  the  shift  to  proper  lordship  and  how  he  deals  with  her  ambitions  and  everything  else  in  their  relationship;  his  sister  is  rosamund  lannister,  who  is  acting  as  lady  /  doppleganger  for  myrcella  on  kings  landing.  i’ve  sent  wcs  for  the  both  of  them  but  i’m  very  game  to  discuss  or  change  anything  if  necessary!

[soliyra-the-sunbringer]

Soli’s wishlist for Our Flag Means Death Season 2

Hey, so why not: I'll try typing up my ofmd s2 wishlist. Some of these are improbable and/or unpopular.  You don’t have to agree with everything, but I’ve been encouraged to share my thoughts.  OFMD Season 2 wishlist, in the order in which I thought of them just now: 1. THAT THERE BE ONE.  Things are looking very good as of May 2022 but cruel and senseless things happen all the time and nothing is assured.   2.  Re: the reunion: THAT THERE BE ONE.  Some of you have never had your onscreen kiss and love confession take an immediate hard right into bury-your-gays and it fking shows.  Furthermore the writers and actors on this show are amazing and I want to see how they do it.   3. Abshir returns!  That dude is an absolute legend.  I need to know what he and his friends got up to after 1x05  and I am dying to see Oluwande's 'investment' pay off, hopefully at a point when the crew are at their lowest.   4.  Hornberry joins the Revenge crew.  He obviously likes them (he and Stede have a 'rapport') and there is no way that man is straight.  I want to see the Brittish officer -> pirate pipeline happen in real time.  And I want to see him involved in Stede et all getting off their feet/getting a ship.   LET HIM KISS BOYS.  (Is he sleeping with Wellington?  Maybe we’ll find out!)

5. Ghosthoney joins either the Revenge crew or Blackbeard crew.  I could honestly see it working either way and either way is pure gold.  6. "You're STEDE'S Ed???"  The many people on Tumblr calling for this are right and should say so.  Every drop of Ed & Mary content gives me life, particularly the moment she finds out he and the 'Dread Pyrate Blackbeard' are the same person, regardless of how exactly that goes down.   7. Lines for Ivan (in this economy) Ok, so it looks like this one isn’t going to happen, which is tragic but it does seem to mean that there is going to be a Season 2 for Ivan to not be in, so...great??  Anyway, so the way I would deal with this is for Ivan do die in an absurdly dramatic way off-screen.  It is somehow both heroic and cool and also stupid and hilarious.  The actors can probably improv this one, idk.  But no body, no crime, and leave it just open ended enough that he can just show up down the line (in an equally absurd and ridiculous way) if something changes wrt Guz’s schedule or w/e

8.  Jemain Clement as Benjamin Hornigold.  This has been hc’d so hard by so many fans...are we sure it’s not already canon?  Pirate-hunter arc would be epic.  9.  Captain Thomas EDWARD’S.  What can I say except that historical stuff is only cool if it’s funny and/or romantic and this sh is both. 

10. Doug comes out as trans, giving us bisexual (or otherwise wlw) Mary and transfeminine rep in one fell swoop.  

11. Speaking of which: Izzy Hands tries on a dress and experiences gender euphoria for the first time, which serves as a major turning point for the character.  (Ed and Izzy are lesbians together; I don’t make the rules).  

12.  Ed kisses a girl (and likes it, a la Katie Perry).  Please I am dying for explicit bi rep in OFMD. 

13, and this is an important one: STEDE KILLS SOMEONE ON PURPOSE.   --13a. that person is a dick. --13b. and preferably a racist.  This is an important point on Stede’s white-guy journey to active anti-racism.

13.  Anne Bonny and Mary Read, obviously.  Mary is Tig Notaro but I can think of literally dozens of actors I’d like to see as Anne and they’d all be great for different reasons.  MOAR WLW

14.  My favorite actors from the last major fandom I was involved in, because why the h not, is this a wishlist or what? 

15.  Harvey Guillen as someone extremely flamboyant and completely unhinged.  He’s been the uptight, contained one on wwdits for so long.  Let that beautiful little man be ‘round, brown, and proud’ and completely bonkers.  Let him get in a knife fight with Jim.  Maybe he’s part of the Siete Gallos, maybe he’s Jim’s long lost brother, maybe he’s just some pirate, idc.  This may or may not be a Harvey Guillen stan account. 

16.  A new wig for Jim.  Or maybe just Vico’s hair?  I do not like the current wig. 

17.  CREW.  FLASHBACKS.  The people (including Samba) on multiple platforms who are calling for this are right and should say so. 

18.  Geraldo appears in flashbacks.  He is an underrated character and Fred Armisen is delightful.  I said what I said. 

18.  STEARD NATION.  Murray Hewitt was a LOOK and I would like to see more, ty. 

19.  We all know that Lucius is alive, but have you consider that his life was somehow saved by the wooden finger, AKA the power of ~love~? 

20.  The people calling for Rory Kinnear to return as increasingly distant members of the Badminton family who all, improbably, look exactly like Rory Kinnear are right and should say so.  But male family members only; we will not be doing the ‘man in a dress�� trope on OFMD. 

21.  SHOW US THE TALENT SHOW YOU COWARDS.  The people calling for this ar-- you get the idea.  

22.  (can’t believe I almost forgot this one) Gnossienne 5 played on an unlikely instrument like electric guitar or something. 

23.  GIVE FANG A DOG.  Another popular one that is also empirically correct. 

24.  Explicit ace rep.  I don’t really care who but bonus if it’s someone we already know. 

25.  One time I read a post somewhere that said s2 should start with Stede standing in his dinghy with his hand upraised and he sees the crew and they see him and he is immediately hit in the face by the red silk and.  Yes.  That.  I agree.  that’s all I can think of for now, except for the general idea of ‘boys kissing,’ which really should be a given but, again, the world is cruel and senseless and we can take nothing for granted. 

[evilasiangenius]

Mad Max time! For your series Fortunae Plango Vulnera: 12, 22, 25. 😊

@fadagaski I am so sorry, it has been forever since this was asked. I didn't forget, I just didn't have the mental capacity to properly answer at the time. But I wanted to answer this properly, so apologies for length as well. Witness me!

12: Pick a scene and give writer's commentary on your thoughts.

I had a hard time picking a scene, so I asked @veeeeight what they would like to see, and they picked the scene in the prologue of Vulnera, where a young Nux sneaks out of bed to wander around the shops.

Vulnera was a strange project. It was written, edited, and posted completely within about a month's time. That particular summer had been very hot so I had trouble sleeping, and when that happens I end up passing the time by writing. The story was not plotted out in advance; I just followed where the characters took me, and they took me to interesting places. Most of the way through, I started writing Gloria too on the side, after getting some ideas while washing vegetables.

At this point in writing MM:FR stories, I was still wondering about how the War Boys filled their days in the Citadel, and tried to think through things like economy, scheduling, internal layout, etc. Thus, rest days for the War Rig crew, all sorts of mechanical things in the shops, and odd jobs for the War Pups. I actually learned quite a bit about cars and car parts while researching for this story, though not nearly as well as anyone who actually knows something about those things.

This Lancer's Workshop becomes a very important room in this story (and others): a few chapters later, this is where Nux and Slit hide out after Nux comes back from the dreaded meeting with Corpus Colossus, and has lost his precious hex key. Now that I think of it, for a public space, it's the setting of some very intimate and private scenes, such as the one here, where the Ace is training Furiosa in secret. I suppose if one were to think about it a bit more, this juxtaposition of private and public space in the War Boys' world is kind of a continuing theme, where privacy is very rare and the delineation between public and private spaces are almost nonexistent.

If I recall correctly, the key reason the Ace had such good advice on fighting for Furiosa was because he had been taught to fight by his older sister Frances. By the way, the names for the Ace (Alex) and his sister (Frances) were intentionally picked as gender neutral names. The idea was that Engineer societies, the descendants of professional middle class people that had evacuated the cities ages ago, were comparably more egalitarian and by tradition picked non-gender-specific names for their children, e.g. Capable.

Anyway, as a woman, even a strong one, Frances might not have had as much of an advantage fighting a man but for fighting strategically: keeping an eye out for environmental advantages. Certainly a younger and smaller Ace would not have been able to win against Frances but for wits and footwork. That, and if I recall correctly, many martial arts also place a heavy emphasis on footwork. It's this kind of quick thinking that makes Furiosa an impressive fighter in Fortuna.

By the way, I also want to mention here that I always thought the reason that Max sliced through Gastown War Boys like they were made of tissue paper was because even a Citadel Blood Bag ate better than a Gastown War Boy. Thus, why those War Boys were dressed more appropriately for cold weather; their rations were skimmed by the People Eater and so they were never going to be great fighters, underfed and underweight.

However if that is the case, why is that one War Boy that comes after Furiosa and stabs her so much more effective? I decided that was the Bullet Farmer's heir, who eventually was going to take over Gastown as well. Name? Bolt. Win mentions the name in Vincula while criticizing the names of the War Boys (intentional, as foreshadowing). If I hadn't written about it before, the idea was that the Citadel supplied all the War Boys for the other settlements as well, as a measure of control. The smaller ones went to Gastown; the People Eater preferred more War Boys but smaller ones that didn't need as much food. The Bullet Farmer in contrast had a smaller staff of select and quality fighters that were well-maintained.

Anyway, I think in some ways, the Ace thought of Furiosa as someone like the sister he had lost so many years ago. Besides that, he saw how hard working and clever she was, and a person like the Ace would not let talent like that go to waste just because of gender or size. Similarly, the Ace intentionally doesn't make Nux stop his morning wanderings, when he could have forced Nux to stop. I think this is also in part that sense of building opportunity, as Nux too shows a lot of potential. I recall thinking that the Ace did not want to punish Nux; he was intentionally stalling for time to come up with something that would preserve authority while at the same time allow Nux to continue his vigilante fixing, and thankfully Furiosa came up with something, out of sheer kindness to the pups.

More on food: later in the series when Capable is married to Immortan Joe in Euphoria, one of the Milking Mothers gives her advice: “Eat more or eat less; either way, there are ways to get out of his bed.” I never addressed this issue in depth but it is possible that Furiosa's lack of interest in food is related to the culture of the Immortan's Tower, which perhaps may hint at something like an eating disorder. That being said, I had always meant for that milking mother (Shams) to come back either in or post-Ekstasis. She is Coil's mother.

Now that I think of it, I should probably also throw in some commentary on Ekstasis, which I never finished. Here is a rough sketch of the rest of the story.

Over the course of Ekstasis, Furiosa would become very adept in learning about the details of trade, which is one of the Imperator's main duties, which we see glimpses of with the former Imperator Acosta. As a result, she would find out that the salt that had been traded to the Citadel came from the Vuvalini -- essentially, the military wing of the Many Mothers community. I believe my idea was that the Rock Riders were also originally part of the same military group but infighting when the community collapsed caused them to split and become rivals, where the Rock Riders controlled the pass but the Vuvalini controlled access to the salt.

When Furisoa was trafficked as a child, the slavers had gone around the mountain range to avoid that pass the Rock Riders controlled, so for a very long time she thought she had been taken far away from home. But tracing where the salt came from, she found out that the Green Place was not as far as she had thought it was. That knowledge would cause Furiosa to end up increasingly disaffected, to the point where she almost runs off with Coil on one occasion using the pretext of testing a new car -- Max's Interceptor that has been remodeled into the Razor Cola. But instead, they get trapped out in the Waste overnight. Not knowing that she is once again fertile, that night out on the Waste with Coil is the night that Glory was conceived. So for example, that moment in the movie where Furiosa and Max have their first hand-to-hand fight and he almost kills her, but for an image of Glory, about to be run down by the Citadel's forces…I like to think that this is the future he's seeing, and not the past. A future where his compliance with the Citadel's goals mean that he would be destroying Glory's life too via Furiosa.

At around the same time, Nux was going to start getting sick. He gradually starts losing weight, losing muscle, and wasting. This would cause Slit to act more erratically, especially in terms of his self-harm, and even start doing things like courting a Lancer, thinking he'll take over the Driver's seat sooner than later.

Morsov was going to get much closer to Stonker and over time their relationship would become sexual. But this would be a problem for Stonker -- the reason why Win was so incredibly protective of Stonker was because Stonker was ambiguously gendered. (IIRC there is a little detail here where the Prime Imperator was removed from the breeding pool because it was thought his genes were defective.) As a child this meant that Stonker looked enough like a boy to pass, but as Stonker had been born intersex, and Win did his best to prevent other War Boys from getting close to or courting Stonker. After Win's death, there was no one to protect Stonker in this way, especially since Win had never even told Coil, so after beginning a sexual relationship with Morsov, over time Stonker ends up pregnant. When this can't be hidden anymore, Stonker is taken to the Immortan's Tower where he meets Shams -- Coil's mother and is reunited with his own mother Kier.

However the outcome for Morsov is not as good. Once separated from Stonker, Morsov becomes despondent, knowing he'll never see Stonker again, and begins taking crazy risks that he never would have taken.

Meanwhile, as Angharad's pregnancy becomes more and more evident, the stakes are getting higher and higher.

Furiosa's plan for escape would have been to take some trainees onto the Waste and ditch them at Gastown, forbidding her usual crew to come along upon penalty of demotion. But the Ace, Coil, and Morsov come along anyway, against her orders. The Ace comes out of duty, Coil comes out of love, and Morsov out of self-destruction.

The end of Ekstasis would then lead us into the present day of the start of the movie. Tran and Dart get promoted to Imperators since they were the highest ranked War Boys remaining (and obeyed Furiosa). Coil is killed, the first one to be thrown from a car. Morsov dies in battle. The Ace is crippled in a fall…

22: Have readers ever misinterpreted anything from the fic or given it a new meaning that you didn't intend?

Probably? But then again, the author is dead, right? There are probably interpretations that I'd find questionable or outright unpleasant, but it's up to the reader at this point. That's one of the most interesting things about writing; the story has its own life once it's out there. In the process, some readers find themes and ideas that I never even considered while writing, but when I think about their analysis, it makes a lot of sense and I wish I had thought of it when I was writing! :D

25: Favorite thing about the fic - this is your permission to brag!

Besides doing what I hope is a pretty good job capturing voice and characterization, I like to think I made a very believable world. When I stopped writing this series (for various reasons), I was at a point where I had mostly figured out the economic interplay between the Wretched below and the Citadel above, something that had taken a lot of thought over some years to come up with. This is where the Wretched provide the human labor that runs all the electricity and water pumps in the towers, and the Citadel feeds and waters them. Of course, not everyone works all the time, but they run many shifts of people walking until they are nearly half-dead from walking. One subplot in Ekstasis that I was working toward was for Furiosa to win acclaim among the Wretched for wage reform, improving food and water rations and reducing lengths of shifts so that more people could eat and work.

I have a lot of fondness for this series and in some ways wish I could go back to finish it, including Gloria, which I have loosely sketched out (a War Boy revolt started by Bolt, and the Dag and the Ace hiding Glory in that little hidden room in the old warren that the Ace had hidden Morsov in). But some of the last stuff I wrote in Ekstasis was during a very bad time in my life and it's hard to want to face that again. Maybe someday?

[alienaiver]

Half the Battle, pt. 1

Kuroo Tetsurou x gn!reader

find part two here!

warnings: slight angst about childhood/parents fighting/divorce, one (1) bottle of wine is opened, someone is betrayed in Mario Party, NOT beta-read! apologize for any mistakes! (lmk if there’s any warnings i missed!)

wordcount: 5.5k

content: soulmate AU, mild angst, fluff, post-timeskip but slight canon divergence (i haven’t read the manga yet so this is loosely based off of their canon timeskip lives), gender neutral reader, reader is a video editor, reader is bad at eye contact but the details as to why are vague/up for interpretation!

notes: this was made for @gg9183 ​ ‘s wonderful birthday event, a soulmate collab! (go read the other wonderful works!) happy birthday once again, gray!! this was meant to be a 2k one shot but.... plans and inspiration changes sometimes, right? 🥺 so this ended up as a 5k part ONE lmfao i hope thats alright w u!!! part2 will be up asap, i promise!! i hope you enjoy this!!!! 

—————————

Not meeting his soulmate was fine, Kuroo often found himself thinking. The odds of finding your soulmate’s way too low to be realistic anyways, he supported the thought. It’s illogical to spend so much time fretting about it, he finally added for good measure.

Soulmates were a natural part of life, always had been. But with the big wide world filled with over seven billion people, meeting yours wasn’t completely unheard of. But given the powers of soulmates even existing, it wasn’t unrealistic to also believe that some kind of fate would pull you towards each other throughout your lives so that you would meet each other. Kuroo however, prided himself in not caring about soulmates. His life was rich enough. People explaining their feelings about “something being missing until they finally meet them” was incomprehensible to him.

Kuroo had lived for 29 years without being able to see color. And you know what? His life was damn well fulfilling enough. He had a beautiful apartment, an economy that flourished, an adorable cat named Cucumber and good people around him. What would he really need a soulmate for? He could ignore his friends comments on how wonderful the world was in color, if only he would just start looking for his soulmate, how much meaning it gave life. Just because the people in his closest circle had all magically met theirs – not to mention how many of them had already met in Goddamn high school, Kuroo scoffed and was always able to move on.

Even though a lot of people actively made eye contact with everyone they met, even people on the street, to make sure they would meet their soulmate, Kuroo kept his eyes down. He wasn’t insecure, come on, he was perfectly happy! He just didn’t need to be late for a meeting because he got eye contact with some stranger, you know?

His life was in perfect balance as is.. Until yesterday, of course. It had turned out there was mold in his apartment complex so they had to evict it for a month while a crew would go through everything to remove it. He didn’t want to go to his mother’s place, that was too far from his work, but he wasn’t in the mood for a hotel, that was way too expensive, so he turned to his best friend of many years with the biggest set of puppy eyes he could muster and the prospect of making every dinner while he lived there.

“Fine… but don’t get in the way,” was all Kenma had to say.

And so Kuroo spent his last weekend in his own apartment packing things down to make it accessible to the cleaning crew. Cucumber hated other cats with a passion so he couldn’t bring him to Kenma’s, where three cats already happily lived, so his mother would pick him up tomorrow afternoon.

__

He sat on his couch, scrolling his phone mindlessly with Cucumber on his lap who had been stressed with all the packing down, sensing something was up. He was being extra cuddly towards Kuroo who, honestly? Didn’t mind at all. He loved when Cucumber was in mood for cuddles, though it wasn’t very often. He had been told his cat was orange and while he didn’t have a measure for what that color actually looked like, he was happy with his gray cat.

His mother was supposed to arrive any minute now, so he should have gotten up and put the cat in his carrier but it was easier to get him in it if you had two pair of hands. He scrolled through Instagram, reaching a photo put up by Tsukishima of his soulmate, the light-haired manager of their high school volleyball club, with a tooth-eating grin on her face and proudly showing off a ring on her finger, the caption said, This smile makes me wanna brag. Kuroo could physically hear the provocative tone of his voice, knowing he was one of the first in his circle of friends to actually plan a wedding. Kuroo clicked his tongue with a smile on his face and double-tapped to like the picture.

He didn’t know if it was the combination of that post and the fact that his mother was on her way but memories of his parent’s wedding flooded his mind. For a lot of people, weddings felt obsolete in the face of the whole “you already got your soulmate and you know this” thing, so a lot of couples were happy not getting married but just being together. But there was also the benefits of marriage in the practical sense, so some people did anyways, some hosting parties, some not. His parents weren’t married when he came to, but after he turned five they decided to do it so he would be protected by both of them, in case of any emergency.

It had been a small wedding, only the closest family and friends but Kuroo was vivid, so excited about being part of that whole romantic ordeal, even helping his mom find a dress and everything. He had been a huge and important part of the wedding – if he did say so himself. Everyone had been glowing at the day, the food was delicious, there was laughter, song and cheers and everyone had brought so many presents – even some for little Tetsurou, who had been very excited about his new train tracks.

But when Kuroo was seven years old, it wasn’t as romantic anymore. His parents were fighting a lot, he wasn’t entirely sure why or about what because they would never tell him about it, no matter how much he asked. When he tried to listen in, the words he heard didn’t explain anything to him because even though they were yelling at each other, the important words were always whispered, as if they knew Kuroo was listening in.

When he was eight his mom had come into his room, hugged him and with tears in her eyes and said that they were going to move away.

“Where are we going?” he asked simply, no emotion to be read on his little face. He was exhausted from his parents being this way – they were soulmates, right? Why did they fight like that?

“To Tokyo, just you and me, my love.”

That’s when he met Kenma. He had been very closed-off and shy back when they met, he reminisced. He had been a regular kid when he was younger but the way his parents split up – his soulmate parents – had closed him off pretty bad, so it was a miracle he met Kenma and started opening up again.

Kuroo smiled to himself bitterly before scratching Cucumber’s ear. He supposed this was also why he wasn’t interested in his soulmate. So many people had romanticized the whole soulmate ideal so a lot of people forgot that relationships still took work, took effort and just because they were made for each other, didn’t necessarily guarantee that they would stay together. His mom and dad didn’t officially talk anymore, but when he asked his mom as a child whether or not she still saw color, she said that she did. He also found long letters in her bedroom when he was nine, letters from his dad, so he supposed they still talked together, though Kuroo wasn’t let in on it – nor was he particularly interested. And he definitely we wasn’t interested in ending up in a relationship with someone who would end up not wanting to put in the effort for the relationship to flourish.

After Cucumber had been picked up by his mom it was time to leave for Kenma’s place. He carried the last boxes of valuables down to his basement and locked them in before trekking down to the subway with his suitcase and sports bag.

_____

You were late for work, so you scrambled to pack your things. It was Wednesday afternoon and you were supposed to meet in at 3PM, because that was around the time that Kodzuken had planned to finish his recording, he told you yesterday. You were a video editor and had met Kenma through your old part-time job in his favorite convenience store quite a few years back, back when he had first bought his house when he was 24. You remembered talking to him about video games in the store since you also played some, and after a good while of polite customer service and talk about new games, you had started hanging out outside of work as well. When you had then told him you were actually a freelance video editor but just didn’t get many jobs, he had almost instantly hired you to do his YouTube videos for him and general editing and set-ups of his streams. I know video games, not recording equipment, he had told you so many years ago.

Your original thought had been wary, because working for a friend might get messy but Kenma cared a lot about keeping it professional when you were on the clock, which you appreciated very much. In his house, down by his game room, there was a room next door with screens and all the best editing software just for you to play with. Your pay was higher than average for such a “simple” but regular gig but when prompted about it, he simply shrugged and told you it wasn’t up for negotiation and no one was being treated unfair – and who were you to go against such a good pay for a job that you loved doing and wanted to do full-time? With Kenma being a famous streamer and gamer, he often made lots of different videos for various sites so your job hours resembled a nine to five job, easy, even if the hours were off from the more conventional jobs and you usually came in later in the day and sometimes finished off late in the evening – some of his videos had a time limit for a release date of a game, so there was also days where you were extremely busy and scrambling to get the video done right for a release of a game.

As you closed your bag and ran out the door towards the subway, you checked your phone for any updates. If he’d finished early, he would’ve texted you about it, so you put your phone in your pocket and hurried towards his house.

When you arrived you immediately rang the doorbell before catching your breath, you were used to Kenma spending a few minutes before reaching the door and opening it, so when the door opened almost instantly you took a step back before looking up. The one opening the door was taller than Kenma and in a loose dress shirt that was unbuttoned at the top - that’s all you saw before your eyes darted down to your feet.

“...Hi! I’m uh… Where’s Kenma?” was all you got out while fidgeting with your purse strap, it certainly wasn’t his boyfriend Hinata opening the door today.

“Oh, hey! You must be his video editor, right? He told me about you!” The man said, pointing to himself with his thumb,

“I’m Kuroo Tetsurou! Kenma’s childhood friend! Sorry to intrude, I’ll be living here for the next month, I promise not to get in your way!” As he finished his introduction, he moved aside so that you could enter. As you took off your shoes you heard Kenma’s feet shuffling towards you, “oh hey, welcome, you’re early,” Kenma said with his usual deadpan expression but you could clearly hear the teasing in his voice.

“At least I’m here now, right?” You smiled back, instantly relaxing at the sight of your boss and friend. You turned to Kuroo again, bowed and introduced yourself before taking off your coat and putting it on a hanger, while Kenma and the guy named Kuroo seemed to bicker a bit about whether or not Kuroo should answer the door while he lived there.

“I’ll go set it up, have you transferred the video files to the hard disk?” you asked Kenma as you moved towards ‘your’ office, sending Kuroo a polite smile while keeping your eyes on his neck.

Eye contact was hard for you, it always made you extremely uncomfortable and you didn’t really have any before you felt comfortable with the person. Your mother had often scolded you, saying you’d never find your soulmate at this rate, which you always acknowledged with a hum or a simple yes without starting a discussion.

You honestly weren’t sure whether or not you cared for a soulmate. Your biggest argument to wanting to find one was so that you could see colors, because it’d help your career. Kenma already had his soulmate, so he was the one deciding the color scheme for his videos and helped with the color-related editing, which worked fine as of now, but you would probably appreciate to be able to do it yourself. You had also spent some years coming to terms with your struggles with eye contact and accept that this was just how you functioned. If you missed your soulmate in a random supermarket thanks to it one day, well, you’d be none the wiser, so you felt sure you’d survive without one, but you also couldn’t deny that the sound of a soulmate sounded really nice and comforting. That someone out there existed to fit you, that you were born to love someone who was also meant to love you. You were sure that finding your soulmate wasn’t a dance on roses, it was sure to still be hard, frustrating and maybe even painful sometimes, but you also couldn’t just have all the good, there was a balance that was sure to exist within soulmates as well.

After hours of going through the raw footage from his video game play and slowly editing while watching it, you popped your shoulders and stretched your arms for a moment, yawning as you did so. Your hours were always a bit intense, but that couldn’t be helped when you had six hours of raw footage to work with. Looking at the clock you saw that it was 5.30PM which meant that soon Kenma would wake up from his pseudo-sleep (which was more like a nap in your opinion) to look at your process and ask what you wanted for dinner.

Soon after a soft knock was heard followed by the door opening slowly, Kenma standing in sweats and a hoodie with bags under his eyes, “do you like hotpot?” he asked, and you smiled at him, “sure, are you cooking tonight?” he yawned while he shook his head, “Kuroo is. He insists on a ‘fulfilling meal’, whatever that means.”

You giggled before beckoning Kenma in to see some of what you’ve done so far and making minor adjustments along the way. “Now, something smells delicious and I’m thirsty,” you stated after the two of you had talked a bit about the rest of the video’s plans. As you went towards the kitchen you could hear the sound of of a nameless tune being hummed, pans sizzling from something being cooked and kitchen utensils being used.

Inside, the table was already set with plates and prepared ingredients lying ready for the pot that Kuroo was just about to put on the table. It seemed he had made an endless supply of different side dishes and really put in a lot of work for it, so you looked really forward to eating it and it smelled delicious. You grabbed a glass from the set table and went to the sink to get some water and just as your hand reached it, Kuroo had extended his hand as well to the sink and you accidentally touched.

You both recoiled as if you had been burned and you couldn’t stop the gasp that accidentally left your lips. A feeling was rushing through your body you hadn’t experienced before and you immediately apologized to Kuroo and went back to the table, foregoing the water. You didn’t notice how Kuroo was frozen in place from when he touched you before Kenma called out to him and he immediately started moving again.

You ended up eating shortly after, Kuroo serving the food and talking animatedly about him and Kenma’s childhood, making you laugh quite a bit at their (or more, Kuroo’s) antics and their volleyball days. Kuroo was the type of person to make you relax in his presence and have fun which you didn’t even notice until you got home later that evening and really thought about what a great time you had had. You found yourself surprised by how easily you clicked with Kuroo, a total stranger. It must be his charm, you thought to yourself before going through your night routine. You had to come back tomorrow and finish work, after all. You estimated the video would take you a few more days to finish but that would end up fitting well with the weekend coming, so as you went to bed you felt yourself more relaxed than you had in a while.

_____

“What are they like?”

It was Friday and it seemed you had finished Kenma’s video and therefor you weren’t here for dinner – for the first time in a few days, which did let down Kuroo just a tiny bit. He had talked a lot with you during dinner preparations when you came out from the office and during dinner as well and while you did answer all his questions (which, he admitted, there were quite a few of them) and follow up with your own for him, it still felt… off… talking to you – and Kuroo didn’t like not knowing why. “What do you mean?” Kenma asked, taking another bite into his mouth.

Kenma swallowed a piece of meat before looking up at Kuroo who was stabbing his plate with his fork in what seemed like a useless purpose. He knew he was being a little weird but meeting you was weird, even though he had no reason to explain why.

“I mean, is this how they usually act?” He didn’t even know what that question meant or why he was even asking it, nothing made sense! But he had a desperate feeling that he needed to get to know you – he was afraid of what that implied and what suspicions he needed to hold onto, but he was sure it was his gut telling him you were dangerous for Kenma to be around – that had to be it! Kenma was his best friend, his childhood friend, it had to be a gut feeling meant to protect him!

“Who knows, they’re being more polite than usual, I think. But that makes sense,” Kenma replied calmly before adding, “I mean you are a stranger who’s really intent on being social with them over our dinners, they were a bit shy as well when I met them,”

Kuroo nodded and finally took a bite of his own food. He didn’t notice Kenma’s raised eyebrows or the questioning look that was sent his way, so Kenma decided to let the subject rest.

Not seeing you today felt weird to him too and he couldn’t help the irritation building up inside him – you had just met a few days ago and only in the evenings when he was done with work and ready to make dinner – and yet, the thought of you kept invading his mind. He had gotten through work today thinking you were going to be there for dinner so when he came home and found out you wouldn’t be there, the first seed of irritation had been planted – why was he suddenly looking so much forward to seeing you? Had it been like this yesterday too? Why was it suddenly important that you weren’t there? He ended up sitting in front of the laptop in the guest room for the rest of the evening, the document left open and completely untouched.

Kuroo, however, didn’t let the subject rest in his head for the rest of that evening. Hinata was in town, having time off after a big game yesterday so Kuroo was left to his own devices – which really wasn’t a problem considering he had to make the paperwork for a promotional deal for a meeting Monday morning that he had procrastinated making – which wasn’t like him at all, he usually never pushed assignments to last minute and he then realized the reason he wasn’t done yet was because he had spent so much time over the dinner table with Kenma and you, talking even after dinner had been done for a while. You always offered to help him with the clean-up so you also spent some time talking there, drifting off to various subjects far passing the cleaning duties and sitting down again with a glass of water.

He enjoyed your company, it felt... easy, somehow, the sensation that something was off was there but it didn’t really settle in his stomach until every time after you left, as if it was left to grow a bit from a small sensation to a problem, which worried him – Kuroo prided himself as an impeccable people-reader, he was captain for both the volleyball team in high school and college, he knew how to act around business relations so well because he could read them so flawlessly – so the feelings he got from you was unsettling and unreadable and it took some control away from him – and Kuroo always felt uneasy when he wasn’t in control.

____

Kuroo heard your name and almost got whiplash from how fast his head moved towards Kenma, “what?”

“I asked if we should invite them? To game night? Being three is a little annoying in Mario Party.”

“Oooh, that’s a good idea! I’d love to see them again!” Hinata happily exclaimed before taking another bite of the lasagna Kuroo had prepared tonight. It was Saturday and Kuroo had been in a daze the entire day, first at the office for a quick meeting with his boss about a potential partner he might be able to reel in soon and then doing his laundry at Kenma’s and continuing to try and make the stupid paperwork but ultimately failing before he had to make dinner.

“Isn’t it a bit late to invite someone? I mean, they could have plans already...” Kuroo tried, knowing what a pain it could be to be asked to something an hour before it happened and he didn’t want to let you go through that – that’s what he tried to tell himself, at least. In truth? He was a bit afraid of seeing you again, afraid of his potential reactions, since he had spent his entire Friday in a stupor just thinking about you. His thoughts didn’t mean much for Kenma and Hinata though, who was already texting you to ask.  “Oi, no phones at the table, have you parents taught you no manners?” Kuroo chided and Hinata immediately shrank back and apologized – Kuroo smirked, yea the Chibi-chan still had respect for his seniors. But he was quickly pulled back to thoughts about you by Kenma’s phone lighting up again, “they’ll be here in an hour. They’re asking if they should bring anything?” Kenma looked up to gauge Kuroo’s reaction, having noticed something about his friend had been off the past few days. He immediately made a funny grimace before turning it into a smile. “Yea, they can bring a bottle of white wine, if I have to beat you all at Mario Party, I would very much like to be a tiny bit buzzed,” Kuroo said, and Hinata looked at him with wide eyes, “you drink wine!? So grown up!” Hinata exclaimed, to which Kenma just muttered, “or just an old man…” Kuroo didn’t hear that though, too busy to fidget with his hands under the table, suddenly feeling nervous that you were showing up.

Hinata plopped down between Kuroo and you with a controller in hand, “I’m gonna beat you all in this Mario Kart!” to which you laughed loudly, “good luck since we’re playing Mario Party.”

“Huh? Is there a difference?” Hinata asked, making Kuroo belt out a loud laugh as well, holding his stomach, “you just told us you’d beat us but you don’t even know what we’re playing!” Kuroo couldn’t contain his laughter for a bit until he noticed how you were looking at him and instantly retracted his laugh, sitting up straight with a cough, and apologizing for being loud, which confused him to no end. He had never been self-conscious of his own laugh! He knew it could be obnoxious and loud, but he also liked it himself, and-

“That’s a really cute laugh.”

The comment earned you the stares of the century from the three other people in the room, with Kenma in genuine shock – he wouldn’t say he disliked Kuroo’s laugh, just that it was… special.

“Uhm… Uh. Thank you?” Kuroo could feel that his blush went all the way to his ears but he hoped that the light in the living room wasn’t bright enough to catch it. “Yeah uh! Sure! Mhm,” you awkwardly coughed a bit as well before reaching for your glass of wine.

You had brought a bottle of white wine for Kuroo on the promise that you’d get a glass too, saying he was your first friend who also liked wine. The word ‘friend’ had dumb-founded him and he’d just answered “you can have it all,” to which you had laughed and said it’s fine with half, you weirdo.

The game was about to begin but Kuroo was still sitting stuck on the fact that his laugh was cute – cute? Had anyone else found it cute before besides Bokuto and his mom? He wasn’t sure – he sure couldn’t pinpoint them right now anyways. He tried to shake it off and focus on the game, though quite a bit of time was spent explaining the rules to Hinata who apparently had thought they were just playing Mario Kart.

When you were 12 laps into it, it seemed that you were set to win with your four stars and 121 coins. Kenma was right behind you with three stars and Hinata and Kuroo had been left in the dust with zero stars. You had stolen Kuroo’s first (and only) star early in the game, so he was plotting his vengeance in quiet but was getting afraid that the game would end before he could do anything to you – but just as his hopes were at the smallest during the last round of the game, you were put in the same team as him in the last mini game.

Kuroo had a wide smirk when you cheered and said, “this’ll be easy then!” because no, it would not be easy for you. If he had to go down in order to take you down a notch, then so be it. He’d rather Kenma win than you did with stolen goods!

The last mini game was “Tow the Line” where two players were put in a sewing box shaped with nine dots as a grid and two players tied together with a string and the objective was to make the shape with the string as shown in the middle of screen. As soon as the whistle sounded, Kuroo lowered his hands and stopped using his controllers, all with a big grin on his lips.

“Kuroo, what the fuck! Get moving, we’ve started!” you yelled at him as Kenma and Hinata won the first round, signaling the next round began, Kuroo started whistling and looking away from the screen, to which you got up from your seat, “fine, I’ll just take your controller and do it myself!”

Kuroo put his arm with the controller behind him, “nah-ah-ah! You’re not winning this, fiend! That’s what you get for stealing my star!” He grinned up at you with his eyes closed as you stood with your hands on your hips, “come on man! I stole that star in the fourth round! Kenma stole a star from me as well!” you tried, “maybe he stole the one that was yours, who knows! Get over it so we can win!”

But as soon as you’d said that, the third round had just been won and you sighed and flopped down on your seat again, “not cool Kuroo, not cool. I’ll remember this!”

You both laughed as the game made ready to announce the winner, Kenma and Hinata entertained by your antics.

“You can’t avenge something that I avenged in the first place! I only did it because you did me wrong, you know!”

“You can’t use logic on me, it doesn’t apply!”

To no surprise, you won the entire game, even winning one of the two bonus stars given at the end of the game.

After the last sequence and a bow from you there was a quick break before you decided to play some Mario Kart for Hinata’s sake, since his argument was that he lost due it being Party instead. You played quite a few hours and after another toilet break you had switched places with Hinata so Kenma could cuddle up against him. You yawned, drinking the last of the wine in your glass and said, “I should head home, I have a friend coming over for lunch tomorrow.”

Hinata and Kenma both started to get up to say goodnight but you waved at them with a smile, “I can walk out myself, it’s fine!” But Kuroo had already gotten up from the couch as well, so you walked with him towards the hallway where you put on your shoes. There was a comfortable silence between the two of you, which Kuroo noted and scowled a bit - he might have only known you for less than a week but for some reason he felt like it had been a lot longer, like you were old friends – it felt strange, to be so close with a stranger. He didn’t know anything about you, really. He knew your name, your job and how you liked some of your vegetables and which meat was your favorite, he knew you also loved cats but didn’t have one (he couldn’t remember if he knew why) and he felt pretty sure he would recognize you in a crowded area – why it was so intense, he was unsure of, he hadn’t tried meeting someone this way before. It had also seemed like having this game night had made you considerably more relaxed in his presence, even joking around with him instead of being polite, which made Kuroo somewhat giddy, though it didn’t really make sense to him as to why.

“I hope you had fun,” Kuroo said awkwardly, as if he had been the host and scratched the back of his head.

“Yeah, I did! I’m sorry I stole your star, though,” you laughed, buttoning your jacket.

“Nah, no worries, as they say, all’s fair in love and war, right?”

You giggled and picked up your bag from the dresser while Kuroo opened up the door for you. As you exited, you turned around with a bright smile, “well, thanks for toni-”

Everything ended up a blur, too bright, too much, too noisy, too… colorful? Kuroo was still looking into your eyes as all that went through him, completely blindsided. As he took a proper look, he could see that you looked just as surprised as him, your eyes wide but still never leaving his either.

“Is… Is this? Are you? Is…” You asked after what felt like both days and milliseconds, I could stare at them so much longer, he thought to himself, the colors only making your face more clear to him. Had you really not had eye contact at all? Had you seen each other for several hours – more than a few times, without looking each other in the eyes at all? Kuroo was more baffled by this happening so late than the fact that it was happening.

He was about to say something, anything, when you promptly turned around, nervously yelling, “I-I uh, I gotta go! Goodbye!” as you hurried out of the driveway and down towards the subway.

“W-wait!” Kuroo belatedly and unhelpfully yelled out as you turned a corner, too late. You were gone. A hand was dragged down his face as a sigh left him, what the fuck had just happened? He obviously needed to talk to you about this, but he also needed to gather his thoughts about all of this, so he slowly closed the door and went back towards the living room, greeted by Hinata and Kenma who looked up at him curiously, “why did you yell?” Hinata asked with his head tilted.

“I think I just found my soulmate.”