#geisterdamen

[leletha-jann]

GODDAMMIT FOGLIOS, or I See What You Did There...

The twelve most common letters in the English language are

ETAOIN SHRDLU

...otherwise known to Girl Genius readers as

EOTAIN and SHURDLU

These two:

The original Geisterdamen (we know, because they recognize Agatha later in Sturmhalten, and they're still mad about it in Paris):

These guys:

The characters who speak an untranslated language are named after a cryptography reference.

...

...

...that's funny.

Kudos, Professors, you're very clever.

Goddammit.

[calmingpi]

I think ive drawn futuregil more than actual geisters what the fuck

[han100894]

Or you know we could have a bunch of Geisterdamen defecting, which we do!

Okay, so I’m on a bit of a girl genius hype at the moment.  but I was looking through for stuff for my video when I remembered this scene.  (Bang needs a video at some point, btw.)

We have Moloch‘s friend (or is that Moloch, himself? I’m not sure, it doesn’t look like him, and he says “they are” not “we are”, so …).  We have a Gil, in a  Geisterdame outfit, who, considering how he is acting with Agatha, probably has his papa out of his head, hopefully at least.  An Agatha with a winged trilobite, which I am taking to mean she now has an air force so (maybe they have unfrozen Mechanicsburg), and being called “Mistress” by a Geisterdame.

The main thing that is drawing my attention here is the Geisterdame.  I mean they, the Geisterdamen, are considering Agatha a “false child”, and I mean Lucrezia could be in control, but that seems unlikely for a variety of reasons.  But we have one referring to Agatha as “Mistress”, this could either mean a lot or nothing, probably.

Did the Geisterdame deflect to Agatha?  Maybe she is one of the ones who doubts Lucrezia, in that case.

 Maybe it’s the other way around, that Agatha is the original “Goddess” of the  Geisterdamen, I mean we have a time machine here.

I mean there is not enough to draw any real conclusions here, and we probably won’t have any real idea for ages, but still.  

[trinity-blaze]

Well, congrats to all of you who predicted this…may the couch protect us from the oncoming storm.

And I just remembered that Othar was still on the airship the last time we saw him, meaning we are about to get Klaus and Othar in the same place for this first time since the beginning of the comic.

Actually, the couch may not be enough to protect us from the oncoming chaos

[minister-of-silly-walks]

OGGIE BEFRIENDED SOME GEISTERS????? When did this happen? How did this happen? Good lord I’m overdue for a reread

[variablejabberwocky]

oh of COURSE! a jaeger is ALREADY older than most people realize! so if the time fuckery ages them it won't affect them as much

AND THEY'RE SUPER DURABLE ANYWAY!

and basically no one likes vole so if he DOES croak from this its unlikely to cause as many problems as if it was someone else

i'm still a bit creeped out by the way the newer clanks gil's got look more like tarvek's work when he's supposed to be in the gay baby jail time bubble

mostly because if its NOT tarvek's work then he either had one of those knights of jove to dismantle and base them off of OR (the scarier option) lucrezia's little clank body is running around fucking shit up

like i KNOW she's off doing sneaky shit but we haven't SEEN it in a hot sec so im worried

the only one of her running around we've seen is in agatha and seems to be mostly resting. but zola is still out there (never turn your back on the body), last seen at the mechanicsberg hospital, and robo-princess is ALSO out there, and ALSO last seen at the hospital before the baron left it to get back on his ship and then set off the time bubble

AND those geisterdamen might have even MORE running around by now

[bigasswritingmagnet]

Blood Will Out - Ch 5/39: An Unexpected Meeting

Summary: When Agatha Sannikova learns she is, in fact, Agatha Heterodyne, she inadvertently kicks off a series of events that reopens old wounds, drags secrets into the light, and brings war to the doorstep of the all but defenseless Mechanicsburg. Saturnus struggles to crush his enemies with a town almost as broken as his body; Agatha, determined to undo the chaos she's unleashed, plunges into the depths of Castle Heterodyne.

Raised by a literal saint and the devil incarnate, Agatha - with an unleashed mind, a burning spark, and a band of very unexpected allies - will fight to do the unthinkable: be a good Heterodyne and a good person.

< Prev chapter | A03 link

The lights on the road turned out to be attached to a solid-sided cart drawn by two horses. On the side, in big red letters, it said Hetty the Eggler. Below that, in neat black font: chicken, duck, quail – and that’s a guarantee! Hetty herself – a zaftig woman with tightly coiled black hair – eyed them suspiciously, but drew the horses to a halt.

“Can I help you?” Her eyes flicked to Vole’s hat, and she added with only the faintest touch of contempt, “Sir?”

“On behalf of de Empire I iz commandeering hyu cart. Hyu vill turn around und return to Mechanicsburg.”

“Please,” Agatha added. Hetty, eyes narrowed and clearly ready to tell Vole where he could stick his empire, paused and closed her mouth. She looked the two of them over.  

“The hell happened to you two?” she demanded.

“None of hyu business,” Vole said, at the same time Agatha said, “The Prince of Sturmhalten—”

Agatha cut off when Vole growled at her, but Hetty’s eyes grew hard, and then softened. She sighed.  

“Fine.” She turned in her seat and, to Agatha’s confusion, thumped her fist on the side of the cart. “Up and at ‘em, boys, I’ve been commandeered. I’m headed back to Mechanicsburg.”  

“Hyu’z been vut?”said a voice, and a head popped up into view, shedding pieces of dried straw.  

A head with green skin. 

A head with eyes that reflected the light like a cat’s.

A head with green skin and tapeta lucida and big, sharp teeth.

“Uh oh,” Agatha whispered as Vole tensed beside her.

Another head popped out, this one almost human-looking, save the fangs that poked out from behind closed lips and the single curling horn on the side of his head.

“Vut’z goink on?” 

A third head poked out, purple the way the Geisterdamen were white, right down to his eyes. When this one saw them, his mouth split into a massive, fangy smile of pure delight.

“Vole!” he cried.

Vole hissed a word that had nearly gotten Saturnus sent to his room the one time he’d said it around Agatha.

“Hyu old veasel-eater, vut iz hyu doink here? Hey, dot’s a nize hat!”

For the merest flash of a second, there was a smile on Vole's face. It vanished as quickly as it came. 

“I’z on Empire business,” Vole said. “Ve needs to get to Mechanicsburg right avay.”

“What you need is a change of clothes,” Hetty said. “You two smell like a sewer.”

“Clothes!” Agatha yelped. “Oh no, I left my bag back in—oh, I didn’t even think about it!” She looked back, as if there was any possible way she could somehow return to Sturmhalten to get it. Vole grabbed her shoulders and dragged her around to face him, his grip too tight and his eyes furious.

“Vut else vuz in dere?” he asked sharply.

“What?” she said, startled by the burning anger in his eyes. 

“Vuz dere anyting vit hyu name on it? A book, hyu papers, anyting.”

“I…I don’t know, why—?”

“If dey haff hyu name, dey could use to find out who hyu iz.” He lowered his voice and growled, “Dey know who I iz takink hyu to.”  

Agatha’s heart turned to ice and slammed into the pit of her stomach. Vole had said he was taking her to her grandfather.

And Agatha Sannikova lived with Saturnus Heterodyne.

She thought hard, trying to keep straight what was actual memory and what was horrified imagining. She’d brought a couple of books. Did they have her name in them? Did she ever put her name in her books? She owned a few books that had been gifts, those had notes written inside the cover…but she hadn’t brought them. The guilt had stung too hard when she’d looked at them.

“No,” she said. Then, more confidently, “No, nothing.” She hesitated. “I…I don’t think.”

Vole scowled, but let her go. He pointed at Hetty.

“Turn dis around, right now.”

“Vole, vut’s goink on?” The purple Jäger was looking really worried now, and so did the horned Jäger. The green Jäger was less worried, and more very, very suspicious.   

“The Prince of Sturmhalten tried to kill me,” Agatha said, bluntly.

“Vould hyu—!” Vole began, but Agatha glared at him, her hands balling into fists. 

“Why shouldn’t they know? I want people to know! I want everyone to know! The Prince of Sturmhalten has been kidnapping girls and killing them, and he got away with it because it was a secret!”

“Dis iz vut Hy vuz talking about!” the horned Jäger said to Hetty, gesturing to Agatha. “At least vit de old masters, hyu knew!”

The other two Jägers nodded, expressions solemn. Hetty sighed.

“Alright, hun, let’s get you home. First thing, though…” Hetty stood. She lifted up the driver’s seat she’d been on and dug around in the storage compartment below it, finally drawing out a pale yellow dress and a small sack. Hetty shook the contents of the sack – crumpled-up clothing, presumably laundry – into the compartment, and shut the lid.

In a businesslike manner that reminded Agatha a little of Teodora, Hetty issued orders.

“This is clean. You go into the bushes over there, get changed, and put your clothes in here. Cut the sewer smell at least in half. I am going to turn the cart around. You four, stand on the other side of the road and look the other way. I can see you boys eyeballing each other – if you’re going to fight, get it out of the way now, off of the cart that I rely on for transporting my livelihood.”

“Heh,” said Maxim, giving Agatha a saucy grin. “Hyu sure hyu don’t vant some—”

“Fifteen,” Vole said flatly.

“—ting a leedle varmer den dot?” Maxim finished, smoothly shifting his expression to one of polite interest. “Is a chilly night for der short sleeves.”

“I run warm,” Hetty said apologetically to Agatha, who realized the woman wasn’t even wearing a coat.

Maxim swung himself over the side of the cart. Agatha was somehow not surprised to see the rest of his clothes were purple, including his cloak. She wondered if it was because he liked the color or because he liked to match. The others – quickly introduced as Dimo and Ognian – were wearing outfits chosen for durability, with little to no care for appearance. Maxim, on the other hand, was dressed like the dashing cavalier in a stage play. 

Maxim undid the clasp of his cloak and passed it to Agatha. She took it, politely thanked him, and hurried off into the bushes as Hetty took the cart further down the road to find a place wide enough for her to turn.  

It was a chilly night, and it raised goosebumps on her bare skin as she undressed. Shivering, she tried to move quickly without losing her footing on the leaf-strewn ground.    

Though she was on the other side of the road, it was a still and quiet night, and Agatha could easily hear the Jägers' conversation. She told herself it was rude to eavesdrop, but she couldn't help it. It was her first look at real Jägers, and she wanted to see if they were the boisterous, good-humored neighbors Mechanicsburg knew them as, or the nightmares Europa still feared and hated. 

"Vere did hyu go?" Maxim asked Vole. 

"Vut hyu mean, vere?" 

Agatha desperately wanted to be dressed, but she couldn't stop herself from leaning over to peer through the bush next to hers, where the branches were spaced more widely apart. 

"Hyu vuz chust gone vun day! De generals could only say it vuz a matter for de masters und Master Saturnus vouldn't say!" 

Agatha would bet anything none of them had been brave enough to ask Bill or Barry. Hard to have a pleasant conversation with someone who wished you didn't exist, let alone an unpleasant one.   

"Dere vuz plenty ov rumors," Dimo said. Agatha wished she could see their expressions in the gloom, but all she had was moonlight, and could barely even make out their body language: tense. 

"Lots of dem," Maxim agreed. "Dot hyu vuz dead, dot hyu vuz on a secret mission, dot hyu ran avay, dot hyu—" 

"Dot hyu broke de Jägertroth." Agatha could practically hear the icicles hanging off Dimo's words. 

"Hy neffer—!" Vole snarled, and caught himself. "Iz…complicated." 

"Complicated how." 

Agatha, recognizing the dark clouds of a fight beginning to form on the horizon, ducked back and pulled the dress over her head. She immediately got stuck with only her head and one arm free.   

"Dimo," Maxim said, putting a hand on the green Jäger's shoulder. Dimo shoved his hand away and stepped forward. He was a head shorter than Vole, but did not seem in any way intimidated by the height difference. 

"Dere iz nottink complicated about beink a Jäger. Hyu iz or hyu izn't." 

"Oh, like how hyu tree iz still Jägers?" 

In the stunned silence, Agatha struggled until she heard a seam pop, and was able to get the dress all the way down. 

"Vot's dot supposed to mean?" Maxim asked, sounding worried and hurt. 

"Hyu left because der Baron told hyu to. De troth says—" 

"Hy know vut it says!" It came out less like words and more like an animal snarl in the back of Dimo's throat. The next came out in the tight tones of someone barely maintaining their temper. "De pack iz vorking for der Baron becawz dey have to, und ve iz looking for a Heterodyne." 

Agatha hurried to brush the dirt off her feet and jam them back into her boots.

"Hyu already have vun," Vole growled, "und hyu left him behind. If de Jägertroth izn't broken, it sure got a big demn hole in it!" 

It was Ognian who let out the roar and threw himself at Vole. The captain grabbed him by the front of the coat and used Ognian's own momentum against him, hurling him into Maxim and sending them both tumbling into the ditch on the side of the road. 

"Heh," Vole said, but whatever clever remark he was going to make was lost when Dimo tackled him to the ground. 

Agatha wrapped the cloak around her shoulders and came charging out of the bushes. 

"Stop! Stop it!" 

Vole punched Dimo in the face, knocking him back. Dimo caught Vole's arm before it could be withdrawn and twisted it until Vole let out a snarl of pain. Vole's free hand went to Dimo's face, claws seeking his eyes. Ognian began to scramble out of the ditch, one foot on the road.  

"I. Said. STOP." 

The word seemed to echo, the reverberation hitting the Jägers like a freeze ray and catching them in an almost comical tableau. Very slowly, Maxim's head rose into view, just high enough to see. 

Agatha drew herself up, trying to imitate Teodora - and realized they would probably respond better to Saturnus. She turned on a furious glare and spoke in a voice as much warning as an order. 

"I need his help to get back to Mechanicsburg. If you four want to tear each other to pieces, do it on your own time!" 

Jäger and ex-Jäger alike got up off the ground or out of the ditch. For a moment, they were all huddled together like school children waiting for the teacher's scolding. Vole realized what he was doing and took a step away, folding his arms over his chest. The others didn’t notice. 

“I am called Agatha Sannikova. Vole is taking me back to my grandfather.” She took a deep breath. There was no undoing what she was about to do, but it needed to be done. “And the answer to your question is yes.” 

They all looked at Vole, who hunched his shoulders. 

“I said it vuz complicated,” he groused. 

“De generals said—” Ognian started. 

"Like de generals iz gonna tell hyu und hyu big mouth anyting," Vole said with a sneer. 

Did the generals know? Or did Vole not know they didn't know? Agatha realized she had no idea how big a secret she was. She couldn't be the only one who didn't know, surely. And yet, it was hard to believe the people of Mechanicsburg would be able to treat their Heterodyne like that, even in the name of protecting her. 

Or maybe that was why they treated her that way – angry and frustrated with the disappointing failure of a Heterodyne they were stuck with. 

The muffled crack of a short, sharp explosion rang through the air. 

"Gunshot," Vole said immediately. "Ve go, now." 

"What about Hetty?" Agatha said. Vole grabbed her wrist and dragged her down the road. 

"Dot probably vuz her. Vill take dem a long time to search all der tunnels. Der Prince vould vant to send soldiers in case ve already got out. Und dey dun need to vander through der sewers." 

Another shot, and another, getting closer, and Agatha's heart leapt at the thundering of hooves. Hetty came whipping around the turn in the road, half-standing, fumbling with something in her arms. Moments later, a group of mounted guards in the Sturmhalten uniform came thundering into view. 

Hetty stood up, braced something that appeared to be a small siege weapon against her shoulder, and fired. One of the guards fell and, tangled in his reins, pulled the horse with him. The guard behind him could not turn in time, and with a scream from horse and rider, crashed to the ground. 

The sound twisted Agatha's guts and she looked away quickly, squeezing her eyes shut against the sight. 

Someone grabbed her around the waist and lifted her off the ground. She yelped and opened her eyes. Hetty, weapon on her lap, leaned over, arm outstretched as she approached. Agatha was half-tossed, half-dragged onto the seat behind Hetty. 

"Keep your head down," the woman ordered. Agatha realized the back of the seat had grown a meter and a half higher. Gunshots rang out, and she shrieked and ducked as the salvo hit. She heard the impact of the bullets behind her – but instead of tearing through the wood, she heard the sound of metal striking metal. 

"Bulletproof," Hetty called over the pounding hooves and rattling cart. 

"What?" 

"My family were all smugglers before the Baron moved in!" She gave Agatha a wild grin. "I've been running from the law since before I could walk! Hold these." 

She shoved the reins into Agatha's hands and pulled a lever on what appeared to be the missing evolutionary step between crossbow and gun.  There was a clunk, and a ring of sharp bolts jutted out from within the muzzle. Hetty caught Agatha looking and her grin grew wider.��

"Isn't she a beaut? My girlfriend built it for me!" Putting fingers to lips, Hetty whistled sharply and bellowed, "Scatter shot!" 

"Scatter what? Wait, wait, I can't drive a carriage, I don't know how!" 

"You're not driving, just hold the reins for me! The girls know what they're doing!"

Hetty once more swung up and over the backboard. She pulled the trigger. The chunk of the firing mechanism loosed, the whistle of the bolts in the air, a chorus of screams of pain and fear. 

Agatha shuddered as Hetty dropped back down. 

"If you're going to heave, aim between the horses," Hetty instructed. "Don't stick your head out where they can see you. Hey. Look at me." 

She put a hand on Agatha's shoulder. Her eyes were solemn, but understanding. 

"It's them or you, and they started it. That matters." 

Agatha nodded, but all the same was grateful when the sounds of pursuit faded into the distance. They drove hard until they broke free of the forest and onto a road that curled around the steep edges of the mountain. Hetty pulled the reins and the horses slowed to a trot, then a walk. 

"Keep an eye behind us, shout if you see them come out. I have to watch the road." 

Agatha nodded and turned in her seat, staring back at the mouth of the forest. In her mind, she could still hear the screaming of the horses. She tried to drown it out. 

Them or me and they started it. Them or me and they started it. Them or me and they started it. 

How dare they. 

How dare they how dare they how dare they how dare they how dare they howdaretheyhowdaretheyHOWDARETHEYHOWDARETHEYHOWDA

Four figures came racing out of the woods – familiar ones. Agatha sagged in relief. 

"The Jägers are back. And Vole," she added, judiciously. Hetty let out a sigh of relief and pulled the horses to a stop. 

"Is he not a Jäger?" she asked in a whisper. 

"It's complicated," Agatha replied. "And he really doesn't like to talk about it." 

"Duly noted." 

The Jagers were fast, and caught up quickly. They did not seem to have taken any damage from the fight. 

"Dot's dem taken care of," Dimo said, and Agatha could tell he was trying to sound cheerful and carefree. She wondered if it was for her, or for Hetty. "Ve dragged der bodies off der road, but if dey is lookink hard it von't hide dem long." 

"Dere vill be more," Vole said grimly. 

"Den iz a good ting ve found hyu ven ve did," Ognian said. "Ve ken go vit hyu–" 

"No," Vole growled. "Go avay. I dun need hyu help." 

"It would be suspicious," Agatha said regretfully. The Jägers looked at her like she'd kicked them. "I'm Lady Teodora's ward," Agatha said. "I spend half my life telling people I'm not a Heterodyne. If I have a guard of three Jägers following me around, no one will…believe…me…" 

Agatha trailed off. Her eyes flicked back and forth, unseeing, as she thought. Part of her was startled at how quickly those thoughts were, and how easy it was to keep up with them. Connections and ideas and flaws in plans and suitable solutions raced by – and she saw and understood every single one of them. 

She felt…strange. Good strange. But strange.

Agatha looked back at the Jägers, and was not aware of how easily she caught them with her eyes, moths to a shining green flame. 

"I'll be safe once I get to Mechanicsburg, but I'm not the only person in danger. Prince Sturmvoraus has been killing girls like me for at least two years, and he's gotten away with it because Tarvek doesn't have any proof. I need proof. I have to find a way to make sure he can't do this again." 

Agatha tried not to glance at Hetty. That would make it look like she was hiding something. Which she was. 

"Can I ask you to go to Sturmhalten, and make sure Tarvek is okay, and find something that proves all of this?" 

It was a genuine question. She wasn't the Heterodyne, technically. Certainly she couldn't order them, but maybe, if she asked politely…?

The Jägers looked at each other…and grinned. To her surprise, they were real, genuine grins of excitement and pleasure. 

"Ya, ve can do dot, no problem!" Dimo said. 

"Dis Tarvek, vut's he look like?" Ognian asked. 

"He's the prince's son. My height, glasses, bright red hair—"

"He is a Shtorm Lord spawn," Vole said. "Hyu vill know him ven hyu see him." 

The Jägers dug around in the straw and retrieved a three-bladed halberd, a very fine saber in a fancy scabbard, and a bandolier of throwing knives.

"Hyu keep dot," Maxim said, nodding at his cape. "Hy vill come get it later ven Hy get back, ya? Und hey." He punched Vole on the arm in a friendly way. "Vuz good to see hyu."  

With that, the Jägers took off back the way they came. Vole didn't move right away. He stood very still, staring after them with an odd, unsettled expression. 

"Idiot," he muttered under his breath. Then, loudly, "Let's go." 

Agatha, at Hetty's insistence, crawled into the back of the wagon with Vole. She curled up in the hay and wrapped herself in Maxim's cloak. Her last thought, as she drifted off, was that she hoped the Jägers could tell she liked them. 

The Jägers had not stayed on the road, choosing instead the cover of the forest. They stayed close enough to see the road, but deep enough to not be easily spotted themselves. They flitted through the trees like shadows, quick darting movements that rustled no leaf or snapped even a single twig. In fact, they made no sound at all. 

Except for the arguing. 

"How iz hyu friends vit dot guy?" Dimo demanded.  

"Hyu just got to get to know him!" Maxim insisted. "He'z a liddle prickly on de outside, but on de inside he's not so bad." 

"Not so bad, boy, hyu iz really sellink it, Maxim. All Hy haff to do is spend lots ov time vit a guy Hy dun like, und eventually, Hy vill not like him a liddle bit less." 

"Who cares about Vole?" Ognian said. "Ve got's a real Heterodyne again! Und she likes us!" 

"She sent us avay," Dimo said. She hadn't even hesitated, either. They'd barely gotten the words out before she told them no. 

"Ya, to go on a big important mission! She trusts us!" Ognian insisted. 

It was true. She hadn't hesitated about that, either. Not can I trust you to. Not will you. Not even can you. 

Can I ask you to. Because while she hadn't been sure she counted yet, with the bell yet unrung, she knew they could and would do anything for their Heterodyne.  

He grinned.  

And she wanted them to. 

[regallibellbright]

Today’s Girl Genius:

… So… Weaponized, artificial suns?

And hm. Not just polar cold, eldritch “void between stars” cold that is therefore specifically weak to starlight (even simulated.) Very interesting.

Like also these guys are creepy as hell in general obviously but. Hmmm.

And then note that they were supposedly working with Zola (and that’s why the Geisterdamen are working with everyone else, as we were reminded with that scene with Oggie, because she’s a false Lucrezia,) who’s currently calling herself “Queen of the Dawn.” Not sure if that’s anything meaningful, but. Interesting.

[planeoftheeclectic]

oooooh the new page!!! I was also not expecting that Oggie, but I am so here for more Geisterdamen

[stories-me]

Potential Character for Mrs. Kelsey and Tumblr 1/25/2023: 

 Agatha Heterodyne, Girl Genius: 

 Appearance: (See above). 

What she’s from: Girl Genius. 

What she might be in: Some form of LXG fan fiction, maybe. 

Background: 

Although she didn’t know it at first, Agatha may very well be one of the most important people in the world. 

The daughter of two powerful Sparks (read: “Mad Scientists”), Agatha’s powerful mind and Spark of Invention were tamped down by a special locket she always wore, which kept her safe from those who might use her for wrong. 

Then, when she was 18, said locket was stolen. 

After that point, things became… “interesting” for her. And that’s “interesting” in both the regular sense AND the ancient Chinese curse sense of the word. 

As it turned out, she was the daughter of one of the heroic Heterodyne Boys (yay!) and the sinister Other (boo!). 

Now, a copy of her mother’s mind is currently lodged in her brain, but the aforementioned locket (which she has recovered) now keeps that creature locked away (without dampening her mind and Spark). She is the ruler of Mechanicsburg… which is, unfortunately, locked in a bubble of stopped time. And is being gradually menaced by strange beings from beyond time and space. The “sleeper agents” and “shamblers” (though not the Geisterdamen) that serve her mother will unhesitatingly follow her orders if she uses “the Voice”. Her allies include the self-styled “Emperor of All Cats”, three monsters who are of a group of creatures that swore allegiance to (and were created by) her family long ago, and a warrior princess far from home. She is engaged in a rather complicated relationship with the heir to a Europe-spanning empire (that is currently crumbling to pieces), and the two main heirs to the crown of the Storm King. 

To say that she’s leading an interesting life may very well now be an understatement. 

Personality: 

Agatha Heterodyne, having assumed the role of Lady Heterodyne of Mechanicsburg, has come into her own. She’s bold and confident, although a bit naïve when it comes to interpersonal relationships. While she doesn’t think she knows more ABOUT things than everyone else, she has no doubt that she knows what’s RIGHT. She’s a brilliant polymath. Also, unlike the “old” Heterodynes (the ones before Barry and Bill, that is), she’s a genuinely caring and compassionate person. 

How she is like me: 

For starters, she is smart, funny, and compassionate. In addition, she has a support network (such as it is), and, in a way I find similar to me requiring certain medications to function properly in society, her body chemistry (altered by one of the claimants to the throne of the Storm King) requires that she have regular contact with a particular person (or, as she recently altered herself, a particular creature) or she will literally die. We both are very focused on our interests, as well. Our support networks help us to succeed and catch us when we fall. 

How she is NOT like me: 

She often becomes interested in others’ interests and seeks them out. 

 Kelsey’s Notes: 

Agatha does not have help from her mom, her mom wants to use her as a “puppet to do her will” 

Michael’s family is very different from her situation 

Her uncle is the one that made the locket to keep her safe from those trying to harm her.  He unfortunately just left one day and never came back 

Not having close ties to her family doesn’t affect her ability to be compassionate 

Lillith and Adam raised her like she was their child, so this helps her to develop that side of her personality 

Michael’s network continues to grow and mature with him as he continues to learn in adulthood 

She is currently trying to free Mechanic’sburg from a “bubble of stopped time” 

This bubble of stopped time means people are frozen and Agatha is trying to figure out how to make the bubble dissipate before the bad guys  that are interested in it get there 

She’s ultimately headed into a big battle with her mom 

Can Agatha change her mom to be good or will she ultimately have to destroy her for good? 

Can you make people be interested in your fan fictions? 

           No they have to have a level of interest on their own 

[leletha-jann]

Hey, this is a cool question, and it turns out I was not going to get any sleep until I'd finished thinking about it, so here's what I've got.

I've always assumed a couple of things related to this. Thanks for letting me think about them in more detail!

First, that even Sparks who haven't broken through yet are immune to slaver wasps. The brain chemistry or structure of a latent Spark is still different enough that whatever method the slaver wasps use does not work. You can't wasp a Spark - at least, not with Lucrezia's wasps. This doesn't cover the one that got Klaus, because that one was unique.

Secondly, that slaver wasp infection comes with a period of short-term memory loss. Otherwise, people who had been infected - and so much of Europa has been - would know. They'd remember. Lacking orders to the contrary - and the wasps seem to only command obedience to Lucrezia, her voice, or authorized representatives of Lucrezia like the Geisterdamen - anyone who'd been infected would be terrified. Remember, they've just been attacked by giant throat-invading bugs. Even without the cultural knowledge of "slaver wasps are a thing", I personally would notice. I personally would also have a literal screaming case of the heebie-jeebies that everyone within fifteen miles would hear about.

But no one ever voluntarily reported a slaver wasp infection. Moreover, people who are infected don't seem to know.

There has to be some sort of forgetting that goes with it. Probably it's the first thing the wasp controls. I mean, basic anesthesia (also important if a bug has been digging through the back of your throat recently) has memory loss effects. I've been put under for surgery. I remember nothing. So that could be done with a simple chemical release.

On to Sturmhalten and its wasped population specifically.

I would wager that there was some minor official/surplus noble (and the Valois dynasty is full of surplus nobles who can't be trusted with a Smoke Knight's knives) whose job was "census taker with bonus evil". I can imagine a big list of Sturmhalten citizens. Innocent enough, probably most city-states have one, if only for tax purposes. But with a little extra check mark on it that meant "wasped".

And every so often, maybe at tax time, people would be diverted down the second corridor. Into the second room. And they'd walk out wasped, and remember nothing. (How clearly do you remember your last time in a waiting room?) And a little extra check mark would be added to their record.

Or, perhaps, they'd remember what they were told to remember. Perhaps the wasp-secreted anesthesia comes with suggestibility. Not instant obedience, but...they can be led, until the chemicals wear off and they're released into the population. This seems like a very Lucrezia idea, actually.

(And yeah, they probably got tourists this way too! They've got guards at the gates, they were keeping records, there was a system. They could route visitors through a processing area. Easy. No problem.)

So a potential Spark, taken through the second room, wouldn't fall for it. They'd remember. They'd be terrified. They've just been attacked by wasps! Everyone was! Probably everyone around them is standing there blankly, vacantly.

And they'd be dead.

The boys and men would be shot and their bodies lost in those sewers that go so deep beneath Sturmhalten. Sewer monsters need feeding too. The girls and women? Well, they would go to Wilhelm. And they'd never come back. (Nonbinary folx would also have an immediate grim fate here, since the machine seemed to be specifically set for "as close to Lucrezia as possible".)

And their families, still so suggestible, would be told some story about the horrible accident that had happened to their child or sibling or parent. And they'd believe it. Maybe they'd even be given some money "as a kindness".

Noblesse oblige, even...

Blood money, a wergeld, the price of their family member's life, but they wouldn't know that, because the story would be all they'd remember. And the census taker would cross out that person's name.

Lies all the way down.

That's how I think the mass wasping of Sturmhalten was done. Latent Sparks and all.

So as a general question to the Girl Genius fandom: has there ever been any confirmation on what happens if a slaver wasp infests a child Spark before their breakthrough?

(Most) wasps don't affect Sparks, but at the same time you are not really a Spark at birth. Although the kids do seem to be unusually brilliant, so clearly there is some indication from early on. Maybe you are immune from birth.

For that matter, do we know how old you have to be to get wasped? Could an infant be caught when they were born, or would we say they need to have an understanding of language? An infant won't be able to understand any orders, but if they're already inclined to obey it might be easier than doing it on their fifth birthday or something.

(Mostly I'm wondering how Sturmhalten handled new Sparks. They're rare enough there might not have been any born into the town at large... but it's equally possible there was a teenage boy working in a tavern who one day built a robot to collect and clean dirty plates. What happened to him? Did he throw up the remains of a wasp embedded in him for over a decade and assume that's a usual part of breakthrough? Did that wasp never manage to enter at all? Did the town perhaps notice when a small child was immune to the wasping, or were his parents - ordered to present him for it but no one thought to be more specific - just not questioning it, because they were too glad their son would be free.)

[calmingpi]

I keep forgetting i have that pic of eotain and shurdlu in my purse. Emotional support geisterdamen

[minister-of-silly-walks]

Sometimes I wonder if the Geisterdamen were an attempt at semi accurate cave biology drow with the pale skin, pupilless but possibly not quite vestigial eyes, entirely female matriarchal society entirely devoted to one goddess who has many attributes and then I remember that earth on in his career Phil Foglio had a comic in Dragon Magazine that was satire about ttrpg tropes.

Which I guess means the odds are good? One day I’ll actually meet him and remember to ask.

[bigasswritingmagnet]

Blood Will Out Ch 4/39 - Tunnel Talk

Summary: When Agatha Sannikova learns she is, in fact, Agatha Heterodyne, she inadvertently kicks off a series of events that reopens old wounds, drags secrets into the light, and brings war to the doorstep of the all but defenseless Mechanicsburg. Saturnus struggles to crush his enemies with a town almost as broken as his body; Agatha, determined to undo the chaos she's unleashed, plunges into the depths of Castle Heterodyne.

Raised by a literal saint and the devil incarnate, Agatha - with an unleashed mind, a burning spark, and a band of very unexpected allies - will fight to do the unthinkable: be a good Heterodyne and a good person.

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After only a few minutes, Agatha understood what Tarvek had meant about the tunnels being a maze. There were dozens of branching paths, some splitting into two or three or even four different passages, all with branches of their own. And they all looked the same, the only variation being that some of them were man-made, paved with ancient brick and mortar, and some of them were simply cracks in the stone foundations of Sturmhalten itself.

Occasionally Tarvek would stop them and tell them to edge around a particular section of the path, or to step only on certain tiles. Once, he took them on a five-minute detour just to come out three meters ahead of where they had been before.

“Trust me,” he said. “You don’t want to risk it.”

Vole snorted.

“Iz like being back in Castle Heterodyne. Except at least dis place dun talk.”

“Talk?” Tarvek repeated.

“Oh, yes!” Agatha said, eagerly. “When Faustus Heterodyne built the castle, he made—”

“Hey hey hey!” Vole scolded. “Good Mechanicsburg boys und girls dun spill de masters’ secrets.”

Agatha was about to ask why anyone would tell her a secret, when she realized with a start that it was because they were her secrets. Her family’s. How many of the stories Lord Saturnus so casually told her had contained information that people died and killed to protect?

Lord Saturnus. Her grandfather. And she was the Lady of Mechanicsburg. All those things he’d told her about being a ruler ‘just in case they become relevant someday’. All those times he’d impressed on her the duties and privileges of the Heterodynes – good and bad.

She wondered if he’d been trying to tell her, consciously or not. Had he been hoping she’d wonder why he kept talking to her like she was going to be important?

But she hadn’t.

A proper Heterodyne would have been able to figure it out, Agatha was sure.

A high-pitched animal squeal echoed down the tunnel, jerking Agatha from her misery spiral; startled, she grabbed Vole’s hand. He started at the touch and looked down at her in shock. She looked back with much the same expression and quickly let go.

The shock on Vole’s face vanished, a vaguely irritable expression slamming down to hide it. He would not look at her as they walked on.

Tarvek made no comment.

Twice, Tarvek and Agatha had to duck into the shadows so Vole could tear something to pieces. It seemed to be putting him in a very good mood.

Once, they all had to hurry to get up high and out of sight, as a pack of Geisterdamen passed by. It did not put any of them in a good mood.

At last, they reached a ladder leading up into the town. Agatha felt relieved to be out in the fresh air, but her relief did not last long.

“They’ve shut everything down,” Tarvek murmured.

The streets were so silent, the hum of the electric lamps could be heard. Not a single person could be seen. The windows of every house were shuttered tightly; the houses themselves seemed to press in around them. The sun had been setting while they were underground, and though the sky was still bright, Sturmhalten was swallowed by the shadows of the mountains. There was not even the light or sound of the lightning moat to give relief from the suffocating darkness. 

Looming over it all was the bulk of Castle Sturmhalten, dour, austere, unforgiving. Agatha was used to living in a town with large, menacing architecture, but even the shattered remains of Castle Heterodyne looked more welcoming than the stronghold of Balan’s Gap. 

She wondered how much of that was being colored by her present danger, and how much was the knowledge that this place had been built for the sole purpose of keeping her bloodline contained. Or perhaps it was the other way around, and her bloodline made her see Castle Heterodyne with kinder eyes than most.

The silence was broken by the sound of approaching footsteps tramping towards them, and they hurriedly ducked back behind a building as a squad of guards marched by.

“Demn,” Vole hissed. Tarvek let out a strangled sound of frustration and grabbed his hair, pulling hard.

“Arg, of course the guards are looking for you!” he groaned. “I’m such an idiot. My father wouldn’t just let you walk out of town! He doesn’t even have to tell them why he wants them to grab you!”

“So ve—” Vole glanced at Agatha. “I fight our vay out.”

But Tarvek shook his head.

“Even you can’t fight the entire town militia on your own. You have to take the sewers.”

Agatha barely managed to strangle her cry of disgust.

“Qviet. It could be vorse, trust me.”

“How?”

“Hyu dun vant to know. No, really. Hyu dun vant to know.”

“This way,” Tarvek said, leading them down the road. They had to hide twice more from the guards before finally reaching a set of stone stairs blocked by a padlocked gate.

“It’s locked!” Agatha whispered, frantic. “What do we do?”

“I’ve got it,” Tarvek said. He knelt down beside the gate and drew from his pocket a small cloth bundle that unrolled to reveal several long, thin pieces of metal bent into strange shapes. Agatha watched in amazement as he carefully selected two and slipped them into the keyhole.

“You can pick locks?”

“We all get the training,” Tarvek said absentmindedly. “A little of it, anyway.” 

“What training?”

“Dey is trained like der Smoke Knights,” Vole said, curling his lip. “Hiding in der shadows und sneaking around killink people behind deir backs.”

“Smoke Knights – you mean like the Storm King had?”

“I am a direct descendent,” Tarvek said proudly, without looking up from his task. “I—”

“Der blood of der Lightning Crown flows through hyu veins, blah blah blah,” Vole interrupted, rolling his eyes. “Dun get him started. Dese royal types neffer shut up about dis shtuff.”

Tarvek’s mouth thinned in annoyance, but there was a soft, metallic clunk and the padlock clicked open.  

“One last thing,” he said, rising and tucking his lockpicks back into an inner pocket of his jacket. “Captain, I need you to hit me.”

Instantly, Vole drew back a fist.

“No!” Agatha grabbed his wrist with both hands, though she knew she’d do little more than throw him off balance. “Are you crazy?” she demanded of Tarvek, who only sighed.

“I can’t get back through the tunnels on my own. You saw how many monsters were down there, not to mention the Geisterdamen. I’m going to tell them that you forced me to help, and if I want them to believe me, it has to actually look like it.”

“Just come with us,” Agatha begged. Tarvek shook his head.

“That’ll make it worse. It’s okay,” he assured her.

“But—”

Tarvek gave her a sad smile. “Agatha. I’ll be fine.” 

Agatha released Vole’s arm and glared at him.

“Non-lethally. No permanent damage.”

Vole rolled his eyes mightily and slapped Tarvek open-palmed across the face. He didn't draw his hand back very far or put any apparent force into the blow, but Tarvek’s head snapped to the side, his glasses went flying, and he dropped like a rock. Agatha clapped her hands over her mouth to stifle her gasp, and hurriedly knelt down next to him.

Tarvek’s eyes were flickering oddly, and a trickle of blood oozed from a split lip.

“Tarvek?”

“I thhink I nneed to tuuake a nnap nowww,” he slurred.

Agatha cast around until she located Tarvek’s glasses. She picked them up and winced – one of the lenses had cracked. Very delicately, she folded them up and tucked them into his pocket. Then, unable to stop herself, she pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

Turning bright red, Agatha fled down the stairs without looking back. Vole rolled his eyes again and followed her, pausing to pull the gate shut and lock the padlock behind them.

They walked in suffocating, stinking silence for several minutes. If Agatha kept her shirt over her nose and breathed through her mouth, she could just about stand it without being sick. There was, blessedly, a little path on either side of the…liquid running down the center of the tunnel. Agatha could just about see where to put her feet, thanks to the glowing moss that clung to the walls in thick, slimy-looking clumps. 

She tried very, very hard not to think about where they were or what was in the drain they were following – but the only other thing she could think about was Tarvek. 

It wasn’t her fault he wouldn’t let her protect him, she knew that. All the same, Agatha could not shake the guilt. Tarvek had tried to help her, even when it meant going against his father and risking his life, and she’d left him behind to suffer the consequences.

“Hyu can alvays come back for him later,” Vole said.

“What?”

“I said, hyu can alvays come back for him later.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Hyu is tinking about him so loud I can feel it.”

Agatha tried to ignore her own blush. “Not if they kill him for helping us.” 

Vole waved a dismissive hand.

“Dot’s easy, hyu just dig him up und bring him back.”

“I...don’t think they’d let me.”

“Pfft. Hyu vill be de Lady of Mechanicsburg. How vill dey stop hyu?”

Agatha said nothing. Once again, she was very aware that Vole had wanted her father and uncle dead for the crime of not being bloodthirsty monsters. Was Vole under the impression that she would be like her grandfather, because he had helped raise her? If she said she had no intention of razing Europa to the ground for fun, would he kill her on the spot?

“No,” Vole said, though she had not spoken. “I vill not kill hyu for not being like hyu grandpoppa. He vants hyu home safe, und I vill bring hyu to him. Dot iz de shtart und end of my interest in hyu.”

“How m – uh, angry is he?” she asked.

“How vould I know?”

“Couldn’t you tell, when you talked to him?”

“I neffer talked to him.”

“You said he asked you to come get me!”

“I said I vas here to bring hyu home for him. No vun asked me to do it.” His voice changed, soft but emphatic, as though reassuring himself of something. “He din’ need to ask. Hy alvays know vut he vants. Dot’s vy Hy iz…”

Agatha waited, and when he did not continue, prodded gently.

“Why you’re what?”

“Vy I iz here to get hyu,” Vole snapped. “Because I know he cares about hyu. Yez, der keedz vuz veak, but Lord Saturnus vuz strong. He iz a proper Heterodyne.”

“He said it was his fault.”

Vole stopped dead.

Agatha backed away a few steps, but no further – she would rather be torn apart by an angry ex-Jäger than get lost in a sewer. Vole turned his head, not enough for her to see his expression but enough that he could see her from the corner of his massive eyes, slivers of liquid black even in the shadows.

“He said…” She tried to remember his exact words. It had been years ago, and she’d never asked again. “He said you had every right to want us dead, after what he’d done to you. He wouldn’t say what it was he did, just that he didn’t want to talk about it again.”

Vole looked ahead again.

“Dot iz vut he tinks,” he said, more statement than question. 

“Yes,” she said. Vole said nothing. “What happened?”

“Qvestion time iz over now,” Vole snapped, abruptly moving forward again. “Iz valk qvietly und mind hyu own business time.”

Agatha bit her tongue, more curious than ever. It didn’t make any sense. Her grandfather had a lot to say about traitors and what should be done to them, and had a rather extreme blind spot when it came to his role in the consequences of his actions. Yet here was someone who had committed the greatest treachery imaginable, and Saturnus claimed fault for himself without hesitation.

“Maybe you two could discuss it when we get back.”

“No. Ven ve get to der gate, hyu go home alone. I haff vork to do.”

“You’re avoiding him.”

“I iz not. I haff nottink to say.”

“So it is his fault.”

“I did not say dot.”

“Then you don’t think it’s his fault? I’m sure he’d like to know that—”

Vole whirled around, teeth bared and face twisted in fury and frustration and…pain?

“Stop it!” he snarled. “Hyu keep out of dis! Hyu dun have any idea vut hyu iz talkink about!”

“Of course I don’t! No one will tell me what happened!”

“Because ve dun vant to talk about it, so stop. Askink.”

He turned his back on her and stomped away into the stinking darkness. Agatha followed, her own annoyance growing.

“So does this mean you are still loyal to the family, or are you just going to wait until my grandfather dies before you try to crush me?”

“I iz not loyal to de family, I iz...I haz respect for de Lord Heterodyne. I iz not going to kill hyu, because I dun care about hyu. Ven hyu iz de Heterodyne, de Jägers vill come back, und der Baron vill assign me to a new post.”

“And that’s it?”

Vole stopped suddenly again, but this time it was because they had reached an outlet from the sewers. It was barred, but the bars were rust-eaten. Vole wrapped his hands around one and pulled, and easily snapped it free. He tossed it aside and grabbed another.

“You’re going to avoid each other for the rest of his life?”

“Dere iz nottink to talk about,” he said, and snapped the next bar off.

“Obviously there is! He thinks it's his fault, and you don’t! Why wouldn’t you want him to know that?”

Vole grabbed the metal frame that held the bars and with a snarl of effort, ripped the whole thing right out of the stone mouth of the tunnel. He dropped it to the ground, glared at Agatha, and pointed meaningfully outside. 

Glaring right back, Agatha stomped out into the sweet-smelling twilight, turned around, and put her fists on her hips.

“What if I never become the Heterodyne?” she demanded. “What then?”

Vole, who was clearly trying to decide if his formerly impeccably clean and very white uniform was ruined enough that wiping the rust off his hands onto it would not make it that much worse, froze mid-step.

“Vut?”

“Why do you think I’m running away?” she asked. “I only just found out I’m – who I am. You must have heard that I’m an idiot.”

“Der pipple of Mechanicsburg von’t care. Dey vould take a fish in a clank suit if der kestle told dem it vuz a Heterodyne.”

“I care!” Agatha exclaimed. “How am I supposed to fix the castle? I tried to build a self-propelling chair and ended up in the hospital!” Tears filled her eyes. “I’m not even a Spark! I get headaches when I think too hard—!”

“Dot doesn’t sound like shtupid,” Vole said, without sympathy. “Dot sounds like hyu got trouble vit hyu head. Headaches dun make hyu shtupid, being shtupid makes hyu shtupid.”

Agatha, her self-abusing rant completely derailed, stood open-mouthed.

“I…I never really thought about it like that,” she said at last.

“Vell, tink about it on der vay home.” Vole pointed down the road. The light of carriage lanterns were winking in and out of view through the leaves of the trees, heading in their direction. “Dot iz coming down from Mechanicsburg vay. I vill reqvisition it in de Baron’s name und ve vill go home. Hyu get to explain hyuself to hyu grandpoppa, und hyu leave me out of it.”

“You don’t even want me to tell him you helped?” Agatha exclaimed.

“No. I dun vant him to tink…” Vole shook his head. “Before der Baron sent me to Mechanicsburg, he asked me if I vuz still loyal to der family in any vay. I told him no. If he hears dot I did dis, he might tink I vuz lying.”

“Were you?”

“No,” Vole lied. 

“Then—”

“Maybe hyu just be grateful I came und saved hyu und ve leave it at dot,” Vole snapped, and without another word led the way towards the road. Agatha risked a glance over her shoulder. All that could be seen of Sturmhalten from here was the very top of the castle, the light from the lightning moat flickering like the dance of sunlight underwater.

Abruptly, it went out. The castle vanished into the darkness as if it had blinked out of existence. Only the flashing red dot of the airship safety light at the tower’s top gave any sign it was still there. 

Agatha shivered, and hurried after Vole.

[leletha-jann]

Geisterdamen city (Citadel of Silver Light) could be on the moon. Would explain the spiders. Low-gravity spiders? Yeah, they'd get huge and have those long spindly legs. And also why no one's found the place yet - only accessible by Queen's Mirror? See also: is on the moon.

(I'm assuming either a native moon atmosphere or pressurized caverns, I guess.)

so what do we think their chances of going to America by way of the moon are?

[regallibellbright]

Also,

1: Love the minions all going “well I know MY part of this works but honestly I have no clue what those sparks were actually DOING as a whole.”

2: I had to check Zola’s page on the wiki to check her title and I love that her occupation is listed as pretender.

Like, it’s accurate! That is absolutely what she’s doing and she’s now done it as both a fake Heterodyne AND a knockoff Other, effectively,* while posing herself as a fake Benevolent Peacebringing Queen (since, y’know, she’s probably doing it through being a knockoff Other) on top of it! But also, it amuses me that that’s her job.

*Okay like. Obviously assuming she is in control and not Lucrezia, but between the novels and the fact that an offshoot of the Geisterdamen, at least, consider her a false goddess post-timeskip, I suspect we’re at least meant to believe for now that it’s Zola and not Lucrezia, and if it is Lucrezia then that’ll be a reveal in its own right.