#gawd that man I swear...

[tarashima]

Oh yes, I'm definitely a multi-shipper and have always been one. It's simply funnier that way.

Unless it comes to VRAINS, then I'm most of the time a Ryouken-shipper XD

[gayferret420]

Tumblr murdered the quality and it was already bad

the Apple looks better tho

[allpromarlo]

ravens fans are pathetic. a player can't even go on live and say "we're gonna do whatever it takes to win this game" without these miserable ass people coming in and being like "tHeYre ToO oPTimIsTiC"

[boyapologist]

flight done. still want to jump him

[pikinanouart]

Chapter 99 sucker punched me right in the FEELS but Clueless!Henderson was still funny.

I mean yeah he eventually got it but a billion years too late man

Now Becky Blackbell better makes it her life mission to reunite them together, I swear to gawd.

[icequeenbae]

This is the most precious little pup 🥺❤️❤️ Look at his tiny sleepy pout 😭😭😭 he a baby

baekhyun being adorable on his ig live 230721 ♡

[xocoluvr]

I know that in your masterlist it is written that you write in MK1, but can you pls use MK11? I beg you, I beg you!😣🙏🙏🥺 I really like the way you write!<3<3<3 You will make me a happy person ! If you can't do it on MK11, I understand. I respect your choice. <3

I really want to go with daddy young Johnny! I want to get a sexual overdose 🥵 and embarrassment! ////// (Okay, stop asking! Sorry if it's too much)

ʚThe theme for the fanfic is this: F!Reader makes hints that she is not indifferent to him. He looks at him for a long time, makes dirty jokes, looks for an opportunity and a reason to touch him, but respects his personal space. And when they are alone, she is wildly embarrassed by him, although she is a pervert.ɞ

Thank you in advance! You are just lovely 🥰 I'll be looking forward to it.

Surprise

| MK11 Young!Johnny Cage x flirty gn!reader

Word count: 2.2k

CW: 18+, smut, praise, penetrashunnn, thigh riding, dry humping, brief mention of fingering, no use of y/n, dirty talk.

a/n: THNX ILYSM !!!!! I should've been clearer on mk1/mk11 SRY. BUT YES MY GAWD \(`Д`)/ young mk11 johnny is so bbygirl the most bbygirlest eyes ever planted on a fictional man i swear (ง ื▿ ื)ว

edit: i did go back and change some stuff so this would be gn, just cuz :3)

sum: Seeing a younger version of your Johnny awoke something in you.

reblogging is very much appreciated! ᕙ(‾̀◡‾́)ᕗ

/ᐠ｡ ｡ᐟ\

Even after it was thoroughly explained to you, you couldn't get it through your head that there had been a weird 'glitch in the matrix' from some guy Raiden, making it so the younger version of your boss was now in your present timeline. Yeah, you found your present Johnny attractive but god was his younger self something else, his demeanor, his personality, you wondered how this Johnny turned out to be so mature.

Over time you got to know more about younger Johnny, he was always so friendly with the others you felt left out seeing him laugh it up with his older self. You wondered if you and Johnny could ever be like that together, he never sought out to have a friendship or showed any obvious interest in you. After a speech to yourself in the mirror, you decided to suck it up and walk up beside him as he sat on a chair with his legs wide open, lord the intrusive thoughts were really beginning to get to you.

As you sat down with a smile, you introduced yourself formally and finally started a small conversation about what younger Johnny thought about himself in the future. "I seriously can't believe I turned out so... Boring. It's like I lost all my 'Johnny'." He says looking over at himself, who is doing regular work and clicking away at a computer. You chuckled, suddenly everything Johnny said was so hilarious? Not thinking about what you were doing, your hand flew right above his knee. Too distracted with laughing away at Johnny's joke, his eyes almost immediately fell to your hand, he had gone silent as he felt blood rush to his already forming erection. Finally hearing the sudden silence, you stopped and cleared your throat, quickly removing your hand seeing Johnny's pupils were blown out gazing at you. Choosing to ignore something that had clearly happened, you and Johnny continued on with your conversation.

A couple hours had gone by since your super awkward and gut-wrenching encounter with Johnny, and you couldn't stop thinking about how he had quickly gotten up after cutting your conversation short to rush to the bathroom. Maybe he was just so turned off by your comfort around him that he didn't want to be near you, you had to stop overthinking about every little tiny detail. Turning away from the work you weren't doing, you turned to see if Johnny was still around. He was standing by the table with his arms crossed, analyzing a map, 'God his arms look so good' you thought, your eyes were definitely lingering in areas they shouldn't. You were getting lost in him as you wondered what his arms would look like wrapped around you, maybe in a hug, perhaps wrapped around your neck as he went at you from behind... You were caught off guard when you heard Johnny call out your name, not only sending shivers down your spine but making you worried he had caught you in your perverted thoughts.

"Would you mind helping me over here? I need a second opinion on this." You almost jumped out of your seat hearing he wanted your opinion. You walked over to Johnny trying to act as nonchalant as possible, your hand rested on the table as you leaned on it with him towering over you. "What's up? Have your eyes finally started to fail you?" You joked, as you said it you saw older Johnny glare at you, reminding you that he was still there. Younger Johnny smiled and chuckled, you were so close you could almost feel the bass in his chest when he laughed. "Hah, no I actually just needed your opinion on this plan I made, apparently Johnny over there doesn't know how to attack in style." He stepped back a little to give you room to look over his plan on the table, he kept a close distance as he observed your facial expressions and reactions to his ideas. As you took up the space where he was, you couldn't get rid of the overwhelming feeling of his eyes on you. Knowing he was behind you, you repositioned yourself with your hands holding you up on the table. You just so happened to accidentally rub up against Johnny's crotch, causing his breath to hitch and raising his body temperature in milliseconds. Of course, you had to take the opportunity to be this intimate with him so you kept your hips where they were for just a good amount of time before deciding it was time to realize your mistake by standing up straight.

Turning around acting completely oblivious to the fact that you just made him so incredibly hard, you smiled and said “Yep, looks good.”. His lips were ever so slightly parted as he felt the life flush out of him at how much control you had over him. In this moment Johnny knew exactly what he had in mind for you, he had gotten the hint immediately and was already planning in his head the rest of the day. Johny stayed next to his older self for the entire workday, using himself as a prop to stay near you. As the day went on and more and more people were beginning to clock out and go home, the more you eventually forgot about what happened. All you thought about was how long it was gonna take for you to finish up reviewing a couple more documents, the part you dreaded the most was going to check the inventory of weaponry for the future mission older Johnny was putting together. You assumed everyone had already headed home since it was so quiet and dark. Making your way to the large building where everything was kept you held your clipboard ready to just skim over everything, you couldn’t help but think about how younger Johnny made you feel earlier in the day, butterflies were fluttering around your stomach as you daydreamt.

Unbeknownst to you, Johnny was just on the other side of the door, sitting on a crate waiting for you, was it crazy that Johnny asked his older self for your entire routine? Possibly, but it was going to be worth it. He waited for you to open the door and be greeted with him sitting on a crate in a poorly lit cold room. Your heart sank, seeing Johnny after work hours was definitely different than seeing him around other people, other people to be more extroverted with.

"Oh! Johnny? What are you doing?" You had a look of genuine concern on your face, your brows were furrowed while his were relaxed, it's like he didn't see the total confusion and awkwardness in the situation. He stood from his carefree position and made his way to you. "You thought I wouldn't notice?" His voice sounded a bit more serious than normal, he sounded like his more mature self which got you a bit nervous. Your palms were moistening up the closer he approached. You took a half step back as he got closer.

He had a smirk plastered on his face. Your steps were soon stopped after you felt the back of your knees hit a crate, allowing Johnny to get close enough to feel your uneven breath on his cheek. "What?" You replied in a soft whisper, you were pressed up so close to him. You could feel his hands make their way to your waist, trapping you to him. Your face started feeling hot as you began to think back to your thoughts earlier in the day, thinking about this exact situation versus living it at the moment felt strange. "The way you look at me.." As you turned your face to the side to conceal your embarrassment, he inhaled sharply into your neck, basking in your scent that sent a bolt of arousal to his growing erection. He pressed his chest against yours and snaked his hand up to your face from your waist to cup your cheek, bringing your attention back to him. "Don't get all shy now, you wanted this, didn't you? I could tell..." Through your shame, you couldn't help but get wet hearing his words. You clenched your thighs together hoping he wouldn't notice how turned on you were from this.

To your dismay, Johnny did notice and smirked looking down at your eagerness, he couldn't help but tease you by using his knee to spread apart your legs, stopping you from getting any kind of relief. You whimpered quietly at the loss. Hearing you solicited him to capture your lips in his, his lips felt so soft against yours, it's as if they were made to be connected to yours. He slipped his tongue into your mouth searching for more sounds while his hand on your waist crept up under your shirt to cup your breast, occasionally teasing your nipple. You mewled weakly into his mouth while clenching your thighs around his knee, you pulled away from the kiss to tilt your head back in pure bliss from the stimulation. He grinned and pushed his knee further into your core letting you get off on it. You soon came on his thigh with a whiny moan, and your hand reached out to grasp his wrist.

"I know baby, I know.." He muttered quietly, he gently pulled your hand away from his wrist and hooked his fingers on the bottom hem of your shirt, slipping it off smoothly. His tongue swiped across his bottom lip as he observed your breasts carefully like he was trying to engrave the image into his memory. You felt a little self-conscious from his gaze, so you covered your chest with your hand. Seeing your facial expression turn a little uncomfortable, he took your hand and raised it to his lips, kissing it softly before bringing your face closer, and giving your lips the same treatment.

Your tongue slipped into his mouth once more, forgetting why you were even feeling self-conscious. As both your tongues danced together in sync, you could feel his hands slowly make their way to the button of your jeans, undoing it and pulling them down and off. He was getting so turned on by the sight of your panties that he couldn't resist but pull you closer by the hips to rub himself on you. A guttural groan squeezed out of his throat as he felt himself get harder through his pants which he was aching to get out of. By the time you were about to protest that you needed more pleasure, he had already pulled his boxers off along with his pants. He smirked at the way your eyebrows raised a bit looking at his pre-cum leaking cock.

You reached down and gave him a few pumps before lining him up with your entrance, you whimpered quietly as you rubbed his tip on your sensitive bundle of nerves, while collecting your wetness and putting him back at your entrance. Johnny kept you from falling back by putting his right hand on the small of your back, and slowly pulling himself into you. You clenched your jaw as he inched himself further in, the stretch his cock gave you was filled with pleasure and good pain, "Oh Fuck- You're so- Mmh." He struggled to continue, needing to stop and hold before he came too early. Your walls squeezed him in more, causing him to groan again, you could feel his cock twitch and throb in you which only made you squeeze him even more.

"I need you to- Mmh- To relax-." He used his left hand to rub your thigh attempting to soothe you a bit. You let out a satisfied sigh when you finally felt him roll his hips out at a slow pace, still adjusting. As he got used to your tightness, he went at a swift pace. The sounds of skin slapping and the crate bumping against the wall filled the room. Johnny couldn't hold back the quiet grunts that slipped from his mouth every time he thrust in you. You felt so at ease with him in you, that your head lolled back, allowing him to plant his lips on your neck and leave deep-tinted hickeys that would undoubtedly be questioned the next day. He got put in such a trance that he was starting to feel numb, his mind going into such a haze that he without warning, grabbed you by the hips and flipped you so you'd be bent over the crate.

"Fuck- Sorry-" he murmured before plunging back into your dripping hole. Although his roughness was a bit new to you, you weren't complaining. His hand found a place on your lower back again to hold you in place, his brutal pace was surely going to leave you sore. You felt yourself reaching your second orgasm while Johnny continued slamming into you over and over again, he felt you squeeze him tighter giving him the sense that you were close. He reached for your sensitive bundle of nerves and rubbed at a fast pace, matching his thrusts. The added stimulation was only making you scream-moan louder, you could feel tears threatening to fall from the corners of your eyes. Your moans were cut to a gasp as you came, He followed soon after as the rhythmic squeezes you were giving his cock made him moan and slightly whine. You felt the ropes of his cum painting your walls, and slowly start to drip out when he pulled out with a pleased sigh. He plunged his fingers into you once more making sure to not waste any of his seed, the unexpected feeling leaving you to whimper quietly. "Next time, don't tease me like that."

[keepwaitingforyou]

whether or not men "belong" in the tcc is such a stupid thing to even discuss but it'll always be weird to me how people seem to suck up to cis men in the tcc. paul was just weird and unfunny to begin with and david's oh so intellectual rants about the school system seemed like nothing more than teen angst, yet they still had people in their asks professing their love or wanting to be bffs. if david's "face reveal" wasn't that fake asf picture of a random conventionally attractive guy, or gawd forbid if he was a woman, not nearly as many people would've acted like his thoughts were smart and original. even if you're completely busted looking, if you're a cis man i swear there will always be at least one person on here saying they love/like/want/whatever you lol

[daydreamgoddess14]

Guilty as Sin

Yes, I know I'm supposed to be doing the last (? maybe? Not sure...) chapter of First Impressions but first I couldn't get this out of my brain because I swear I literally think about this man every minute of the day. Did you know he can sing? Sweet jesus, no one show me proof, I guarantee it will finish me off. Anyway, here's a little quickie (hehe 😏) cos gawd knows this fandom needs a lot a lot a lot more River and I will happily carry that burden 😂

River Cartwright/OFC (you/reader insert, no use of Y/N, L/N). Lots of smutty smut and jealousy, River feeling feelings, language warning. Mature rating.

You're undercover and it turns out River is incredibly jealous.

Without further adooooo...

********

You take another long drink, watching him as he watches you. His eyes haven't left you for what feels like hours. It has been hours, this back and forth, push and pull. It's a game you both so enjoy. The noise of the bar is growing as the night goes on, colleagues leaving and being replaced by the early doors club, then those replaced by students and the few in it for the night. You're not sure where you fall just yet, though it's clear enough that he’s struggling to keep his hands off you, so the night will not go on forever. Your knees bump together under the table, and he takes the opportunity to put a hand at the hem of your dress, lightly stroking your thigh. It's not your usual get-up. You've made an effort, and it's paying off beautifully. His eyes track down your throat and to the very deep neckline of the dress, held precariously in place with the best tit tape Boots had to offer. They look pretty fantastic if you said so yourself. A good handful for someone with good hands, which he had. With your empty glass on the table, you put a firm hand on his thigh. 

“Shall we move somewhere… quieter?” You suggest, your voice low and leading. He lights up like a Christmas tree, trying (and failing) to hide his eagerness. 

“Yeah, yeah, we should. My place?” He asks. You laugh - not unkindly or at him.

“No, not just yet. We're having so much fun, aren't we?” 

“Hmm, hard to argue that point. I'm sure I can wait a little longer. Some privacy wouldn't go amiss, though.” You slip from the stool, giving him a perfect glimpse down the front of your dress, and reach for his hand. If you remember correctly, this lovely bar has a small snug. A handful of more intimate tables with high booth walls and table service. Drinks are on him, after all, it'd be rude not to. His hand is possessive on the small of your back while he talks with the waitress. She tells him it's just a short wait, and that's fine. The wine has made you a little flushed and giddy, so you lean into him and let his warm body wrap around you. His hands shamelessly roam your body, groping and squeezing your bum and hips. He leans down to place a hot, wet kiss on your neck. His body crowds you against the hostess table, and you're not sure he actually will wait any longer.

“I'm just going to the bathroom while they get us a table,” you tell him quietly, your hand deliberately brushing across the front of his chinos. Away from the drinks and his heady aftershave, you can take a breath in the corridor to the bathrooms. 

In the dark, a body pulls you against their chest, a tight grip on your hip. 

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?”

“I've got him right where we want him, River, what the hell are you doing?!” You wrestle from his grasp and pull him to the very end of the corridor and away from potential passers-by. 

“He's all over you like a rash!”

“Which is exactly my plan,” you tell him. He's got you backed against the wall, and you've gone from being in complete control of the mark you've been flirting with all night to being utterly at River's mercy instead. He's never like this. Petulant? Always. Occasionally irrational and more often than not, sarcastic, but whatever this is, it's new. 

“Is it turning you on?” He demands to know. 

“Him? Or this?” You snap. You're half wondering if he can tell the difference between you faking it in the bar and whatever you're feeling now. Can he feel your heart pounding? Does he know your thighs are clenching desperately at nothing, aching for his touch? This attraction has been brewing between you for a while, glances that linger just long enough to suggest there could be more between you, but he's never made a move, and so neither have you. 

“Do you think you're turning him on?” He asks quietly, his eyes on your lips, you couldn’t resist the deep luxurious red lipstick you spotted in Boots while hunting for the tit tape.

“I know I am. I could have him on his knees for me before the night's out.” At that, he bites back a groan, bruising your hip with his tight hold. He’s holding you so closely it’s like he’s breathing life into you. And then just as it dawns on you, you also realise that you've been gone too long and you’re actually supposed to be working. “Are you jealous, Cartwright?”

“No.” Came the strained reply in the crook of your neck. You place a gentle hand on his chest and push him back a little, his lips graze the corner of your mouth as he moves. 

“I need to get back out there and finish this.” His hand catches yours as you leave, fingertips holding on until the last moment. It's knocked you for six, the intensity of his gaze and the meaning behind his sudden temper. He may have denied it, but surely you can't have imagined it all?

I keep recalling things we never did

Messy top lip kiss

How I long for our trysts

Without ever touching his skin

How can I be guilty as sin?

“Thought you'd gotten lost,” the mark said as you approached the table. 

“Just needed a few moments alone.” You tease. His eyes light up, and sure, if it's going to make your life easier, then he can go ahead and believe that you've just been touching yourself in the bathroom. 

“That so?” You're momentarily distracted by River passing your table to sit at the one behind. “You couldn't resist a little early playtime, huh?” You smile coyly, letting him do most of the talking - and draw his own assumptions - rather than confirming anything. “Gonna be lucky if we make it to mine,” he was saying, “I bet you love the thought of getting caught.” From this distance you could see the muscle in River’s jaw clench. The mark leaned forward but did nothing to lower his voice, “I'm gonna fuck you so good you forget your own name.” Holding his gaze, you leaned in as well, 

“Dare you.” At the table behind, you're sure you heard knuckles cracking. “Let's get out of here,” you tell the mark suddenly. It's cold outside as you lead the mark to the alley beside the bar. He presses you against the wall and it feels completely alien compared to when River did the same thing barely an hour before. He kisses you and you play along. While he's distracted and trying to grope your breasts over the top of the dress, you're in his pocket doing your job. A key card and the slip of paper you watched an aide pass him hours ago. Bingo. You push him off you quickly and turn away, faking a sudden bout of drunken sickness. You retch and moan, a hand out behind you to stop him getting closer. As if he would.

“Oh gross, forget it love, you're not that fit.” He leaves, disgusted and you count to twenty before standing straight and putting the loot in your bag. You hadn't seen River follow you out of the bar, it makes you wonder if your backup has deserted you. Just as you reach the street, a body blocks your path. “I knew you were too fuckin’ good to be true.” The mark sneered, forcing you to take a couple of steps back and away from the people leaving the bar. 

“You came back!” You coo, reaching for his lapel. “I’m feeling loads better.”

“Games up, bitch. Give it back, or I beat the shit out of you.”

“But we were getting along so nicely,” you pout, pushing the boat out in one last opportunity to win him back over. He's not keen to play along this time and his hand painfully grabs the top of your arm. His other hand reaches for the split in your dress and his rough fingers find the top of your thigh. You try to scream out but your voice catches in your throat in fear.

“I knew you were all fuckin’ talk, filthy slut.” He slaps you across the cheek and the stinging pain is immediate, it makes you feral with anger. You wriggle and wrestle and try to stamp on his feet, just to get a bit of movement away from him, and finally you're able to get out of his grip far enough to knee him in the balls. He crumples forward in pain. His arm stretches out to pull you back but behind you, another arm pulls you away from him and shoves you into the front seat of a car. River's car. It seems to take an age to get the car into gear and moving but luckily the mark is still bent over in agony. A few bystanders checking on him. Once you’re a safe enough distance away, you feel River watching you. The skirt of your dress has twisted and ridden up in the hurry to get into the car, exposing more of your legs and from the gritted teeth and deep swallow, you can tell he’s noticed. You straighten out in the seat and pop down the sun visor, your cheek is still a little pink but it’s hard to tell from the streetlights. The lipstick is still perfectly in place though.

“Where'd you go? I thought you’d left.”

“I wouldn’t have left. I saw him wink at one of his drongo mates as you left so I got out just ahead of you to get the car. Figured you’d need to act fast.”

“If you hadn’t turned up when you did-” Your previous bravado has all but abandoned you, leaving you underdressed and vulnerable.

“I know.” He replies quickly, his mouth set in a hard, angry line. “Did he hit you?”

“Slapped me.” You find a bottle of water between your two seats and wonder how long it’s been there before deciding you really don’t care and taking it anyway. He stops for a red light and takes a hand from the wheel to turn your face so he can see. His thumb caresses your cheek for a brief second until the car behind alerts him to the green light. He pulls up at your apartment and you sit in silence watching next door’s cat. You can feel the anger radiating from him, his shoulders tense and his hands white knuckled on the steering wheel at ten and two. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You tell him softly, “thanks for being there tonight.”

“Just doing my job.” 

These fatal fantasies

Giving way to labored breath

Taking all of me

We've already done it in my head

Once you’re alone, you kick your shoes off with such ferocity that the heel dents the cupboard door. You stand in the dark in your small kitchen and pour a nightcap. The window overlooks the small car park and you can see that River’s car hasn’t moved yet. As you move through the flat and pass the front door, you can hear shuffling just outside so you pull the door open.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?” You ask, an exact replica of his earlier question. He doesn’t speak, he takes the glass from your hand and finishes the contents. He does attempt to put the glass on the table by the door but it’s too close to the edge and falls, glass shattering. Neither of you takes a scrap of notice, he’s on you before you can say another word, lips claiming yours in a messy kiss. Your hands scramble for purchase on his shoulders while his arms wrap around your waist and lift you enough off the floor that your bare feet are nowhere near the broken glass. He walks you forwards until he can press you into the doorframe. His kiss moves down your neck and he pulls the thin straps of your dress down your shoulders.

“You were right.” He mutters kissing along your collarbone.

“Was I?” You’re not sure how you can be expected to hold a conversation while he’s cupping your breast over your dress and running his thumb over your hardening nipple.

“I am fucking jealous.” Your back arches, pressing your chest to his, silently begging for more. “No one else touches you like that again.”

“Says who?” You challenge him. He kisses you again, a clash of teeth and tongue, a silent reply - a silent promise. His hands run down your body, but unlike the mark who groped aimlessly, River clearly has intention. He pulls at the lightly tied belt holding your dress closed until it’s barely clinging on. He pulls back to see your face, your firm nod of approval and kisses you more softly than he had previously. You can feel the anger and tension evaporating from him. With a final tug, the belt is undone and the dress begins to fall open. When his warm hands are at long last on your bare skin it’s like a green light. You scramble to pull his jacket off, throwing it to the floor closely followed by his shirt. He takes his time peeling the dress from your skin where it’s been held down by the tape and kisses the skin as it’s exposed to him bit by bit. When the dress is pooled at your feet your hands tangle in his hair. He nips at the curve of your breast, your ‘good handful’ dwarfed by his large hands. 

“You were wrong about one thing.” He says suddenly from the valley of your breasts.

“Enlighten me?” You lean back against the doorframe, grateful for the pause but still very distracted by his hands. 

“He wasn’t going to get on his knees for you.” Your eyes widen a little as he disappears from view. You can feel his hot breath against the cotton of your knickers. “Say now, and I’ll stop, and we can forget this ever happened?" 

"I don't want you to stop," you whisper. 

"Good." He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of your soaked underwear and pulls them down your legs, then he nudges your legs apart and lifts one to drape it over his shoulder. "So wet," he teases, peppering her inner thighs with kisses. “Is this from him?” He licks a broad stroke through your folds, his nose nestling up against your clit. 

“You, only you-” you manage to reply. You can feel your knees shaking so he puts a firm hand on the hip of your raised leg to hold you steady. His other hand moves to join his determined mouth, he replaces his tongue and fucks you with his fingers, turning his attention to suck your clit.

What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh

Only in my mind?

One slip and falling back into the hedge maze

Oh what a way to die

"Oh f-fucking fuck, Riv," You tangle a hand in his hair, partly to stop him from moving, and partly to keep yourself upright. His fingers, knuckle deep inside you, pump lazily in and out while he savours your taste, wanting to drag out your pleasure for as long as possible. Your dripping cunt aches for release but he doesn’t let up.

"You wanna come for me, love?" He murmurs as you whimper at the loss of his tongue.

"Yes, god yes -" your hips cant towards him, changing the angle so his fingers brush against your g-spot.

“You’re mine?” He asks so quietly you can hardly hear him over the pounding of your heart, he flicks his tongue over your clit, demanding an answer before he continues. 

“Yours, River, please-, fucking arrogant-” Your sentences go half finished once he’s happy with your answer, finally bringing you right to the edge and eagerly letting your cunt contract around his fingers. You’re not sure you can breathe any longer, let alone stand. He rests his head against your thigh as you lean limply into the doorframe. 

“I’m what now?” He asks smugly. He reappears in front of you, an arm around your waist to hold you up.

“Arrogant. Jealous. Annoying as fuck.” 

“Surely I’m not that bad?” He teases, kissing you. You can taste yourself on his tongue and you melt against him. He lifts you with ease, “bedroom?” 

“Down the hall.” You’re about to chastise him for chucking you on the bed so unceremoniously but he’s already making himself very comfortable between your thighs again. 

“River?”

“Not done yet.” You're in pieces again even before you feel the wet slide of his tongue against your clit. He holds you down with one hand as you cant your hips towards him. 

"Fuckkk," you whine, hands desperately gripping the bed sheets. He gives your thigh a bite.

"Hold still," you can feel him smirk against you. It doesn't take much for him to have your legs shaking and you’re grateful to at least be lying down this time. You practically wail his name as you come, he's watching you come down, letting you think he's done with you before he goes back for more. By the time he's crawling up the bed to you, the need to have his skin against yours is sinful. You can barely form full sentences.

"Clothes, more, now". He laughs, a low rumble that you feel against your ribs.

“Hang on.” He rolls off you and grabs something from your bedside. You feel a weird sensation on your inner thigh, and sit up to see exactly what he’s up to now. He looks up with a satisfied smile having literally written mine on your skin. You shake your head in disbelief.

“Green eyed monster really got hold of you, didn’t it? Y’know if you wanted to ask me out, you could have?” You ask.

“I don’t think I realised how strongly I felt til I saw him all over you. Then when we were outside the bathroom, it felt like something changed?”

“C’mere,” You pull him on top of you and after hastily kicking off his jeans, he pushes into you in long, slow strokes, his whole body weighted against yours. After his earlier anger and jealousy, it’s surprisingly intimate and gentle. Your desperate pleas and praise ignites him and he holds you tightly, pressing you into the mattress as he fucks into you deliriously slowly, lewd noises filling the air. Your legs wrap around him, holding him against you. Your walls flutter around him as he makes you come again, sighing his name.

What if the way you hold me

Is actually what's holy?

“Had I known your jealousy was going to lead to this, I probably would have offered to go undercover a long time ago.” You mutter in the dark. You’re fairly sure he’s asleep, his nose is nestled into the crook of your neck, his long body curled around yours. It’s not until his snigger jostles you both that you realise he’s still awake. 

“Maybe I’ll go undercover next time.”

“I’m not sure you’d make a good honeytrap.”

“Rude, I can be pretty.”

“I know. I will rip the eyes out of any woman who so much as looks at you.” You tell him sleepily.

“Oh now I’m definitely signing up next time. Can’t wait to see you get all jealous.” He kisses your neck again as you drift off.

********

[sharonisthebettercarter]

hugh campbell is literally the tallest member of the boys in the show and it's one a my favorite details<3

they rarely show it off and tend to use camera angles and posture (hughie boi i see you constantly slouching--LOOK AT HIM~<3<3<3 just casually *unintentionally* making butcher appear is *actual size*--) to play up or downplay/switch up height differences, but i kinda love that hughie went from being the second shortest member (comics) of the boys to the literal tallest<3 (butcher was generally in the middle with homie just casually being a head taller than him--, frenchie and mm being the taller guys on the team, love sausage of course being the biggest guy when there~<3<3<3 he still is btw--)

love love LOVE him so fucking much<3<3<3 literally the *only* REAL bear in this damn series (HE STRAIGHT UP BEAR HUGS BILLY IN THE COMIC AHHHHHHHHHHH~<3<3<3!!! we better see moar of him i swears--). mm is a close one, but he's more of a good big papa wolf~<3 butcher's a scraggly dumpster kitten or fuckin' heifer--

i *also* love love LOVE the single inch height increment hughie and billy got goin' on with homie, it's just the cutest most fun thing~<3 it goes--

5'11" (homie<3)

6'0" (billy bean<3<3)

6'1" (not so wee hughie<3<3<3)

6'2" (LOVE SAUSAGE~<3<3<3<3!!)

i see you sandwiched right inbetween those bois there, 'ey billy~<3? ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

throw in mm between billy and homie, it's hard to find a solid height on that bitch<3 (and they *def* keep trying to downplay his height and bulk cause holy FUCK, THAT MAN--) but i'm gonna say he's probably around 5'11.5", closer to 6'0" maybe??

lol for the roughest layout i guess, they tend to bill urban a bit taller than he is (you can tell cause they'll bill quaid at the same numbers but he's definitely taller than urban, also i SWEAR everytime this man is in a photo that's not a solo glamor shot he's tryin' out some jank ass angles always always always leaning *in* to the camera to make himself look *bigger* leik honey you are so fuckin' cute-- and they *def* keep trying to make billy look *way* bigger than he actually is, BILLYYYYYYYYYYY--) but boi, i see you too<3<3<3

i guess maybe a little closer, it might go something like...

5'11" (homie)

5'11.75" (mm)

6'0.5" (billy bean)

6'1.5" (hughie)

in which there's .75 increments, and then a full 1 inch leap from billy to hughie. either way, they're def very close and not a single one is 'small' per se (except compared to love sausage--tho i do bet starr is one of those fuckers to downplay his height so other men get insecure LMAO--), but i just love the sequencing<3<3<3

what i *also* love~?

(bad posture homie lol) homie's reaction to hughie posturing at his full height was fucking amazing. IT WAS OH MY GAWD--i can't. he had his little surprised moment and then made a *pleased* "ooh~<3" and then smirked like THIS--

leik hughie... MAH BOI--i know he *tried* so fucking hard but leik. homelander is just so unthreatened by him that he's fucking *amused* and engaged with hughie *trying* to be brave. *he relaxed further*-- he just... he just doesn't give a shit. and it's horrible. but also *beautiful* because at this point, you can tell he's just so bored out of his mind that he even *welcomes* the challenge in some ways. he is LOVING that people feel so attacked by him without him doing much--LEIK.

there are a couple other unhinged and unsettling *positive* reactions he has to people similarly enough, (his descent into madness in real time--not gonna get into it now lest this post become *all* about homie--) but man oh man~<3

little bit less posture difference here, will say it's silly fandom obsesses over/exaggerates single inch height differences (particularly between homie and billy while ignoring/reversing hughie and billy, leik C'MON--let hughie be his height~<3! also we should be obsessing over the perfect~<3 *sequencing*, DUH--) but it's honestly pretty amazing how much of a nonfactor the height is in general.

for homie, it's pretty obvious he doesn't give a shit as he's particularly relaxed and unbothered by people being taller than him (especially hughie--literally amused by people posturing LEIK--by the gods his reaction to hughie challenging him--I CAN'T IT WAS FUCKING--GOOSEBUMPS~<3<3<3), but it just goes to show. motherfucker is just playing with his food--

BONUS~<3

lmao blurry ass pic of baby urban getting *dwarfed* by dwayne "i'm 5'11" and wear lifts" 'the rock' johnson. (also that mofo got so much bigger leik gotdamn i am actually curious how much more he'd *DWARF* urban cause ya look at him now and just. he ate a truck--ya look at the rock next to a guy leik SHAQ and HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT the differences are staggering leik one inch is nothin' baby--) SWEET BABY JEEZUZ--

bonus bonus~<3

another detail i *love*?

the shorter two (and frenchie~<3<3<3!) have the bigger/longer noses and... *likely* the biggest cocks--

;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[jaydezsworld1]

NSFW HEAVY HEADCANONS PRETTY PLZZZZ 🫶

WILL DO 😏

(TW: mentions of f!ngering, lenght [ykyk], p in anal, gn!reader, masturbation, smrex)

-I swear to GOD he has more than 5 inches, be prepared.

-He doesn't masturbate UNLESS he's rlly pent up but like pent up like 😳... Can't even explain.

-Pretty sure he'll praise you during sexy time, while fucking ur little ass.

-"Leetle [Name], so small... Oh god..."

-Kink: 100% cockwarming, prob breeding kink too who knows 😏.

-Loves hearing u moan while he's eating u out, only 1 of his finger can fit into u, cuz gawd dayum that man is big asf.

-"Aww, is leetle [Name] getting needy?"

-The thing he loves most about u is ur moans, can't tell me else.

-Medic woukd be jealous, so while ur giving Heavy head, he'll watch... Becuz pretty sure Medic is jealous... All the time, no exceptions.

-WILL watch u masturbate, ain't no chance he will let you finish alone.

- 'Do the do, if it means death' ahh vibe.

Who Should I Do Next?

1. Sniper.

2. Medic.

3. Pyro. (No NSFW rn for Pyro, can't find anything of that genre for them)

[bmbochangetales]

My wife was making fun of some woman. We were at a work party and my CEO’s latest arm candy was there. My wife and several others were at the table quietly laughing and making fun of her. Calling her a bimbo and making fun of the way she spoke. But the second I heard her mimic that voice, I wanted her to be a bimbo too.

I thought about it often the next few days. Hearing her talk in that voice. She would never go for that in bed. We had a plain boring nearly scheduled sex life. The boss’s new girlfriend stopped in the office one day and it just pushed me over the edge. I wished my wife was a bimbo like her.

As soon as I got home, I told the wife I needed to handle a few things. She mumbled some response as she continued cooking dinner, chatting away on the phone.

I pulled up a picture of my wife and the boss’s bimbo. I even found a video of her on her Instagram page. I imagined that silly high pitched voice coming from my wife. Adding in all the likes and cutting words short to her formerly pristine highly educated vocabulary. Big words becoming harder. She couldn’t remember the right sounds for her words. I began stroking my cock. It had been hard for so long. Up and down to that sound. I swear I could hear her down stairs on the phone.

“Oh my gawd, we had like this like big big party thingy for hubby’s work. And like soooooo many people were like there! It was like totes soooooooo fun”

She sounds so much better with that voice. Stroking harder. God I love bimbo voices. So dumb and silly. Women are just hotter when they talk like that. I imagine my wife talking like that forever. High bitch and breathy. No one will take her seriously, just like she and the others said at the party.

“Umm what do ya mean I like sound funny?” I heard her ask. I want her to talk like that more and more. She and all her friends should all talk like that. My cock gives a spurt of cum when she talks again.“Mmm I’m like totes sure I am like totes talkin normaler cuz like you talk same as me silly!”

I looked at the pictures. My wife was alright, maybe a bit plain. But my boss’s bimbo, she would stop traffic from space walking down the street. Especially her boobs. I wish my wife would have a big pair of tits like that.

“Uhm like ya! I totes luuuuuuvvvv having a big ol pair of double ds! My hubby soooo luvs them too!”

No, bigger. She would have a massive fake rack. All the wives and girlfriends would be whispering and mocking her just like she did at the party. No! They would all be bimbos too! But women on the street made fun of them all. They didn't understand it becvause they were too dumb to realize it.

“Yeah like H cup tiddies are so hawt and stuff! Everyone just stares at me cause I'm lik so cute and stuff”

She would wear sexy outfits like my boss's girlfriends. Bright and girly colors. Lots of pinks and neons. Her and her friends made fun of that, but it would be so hot to see them all like that dressing sexy for their men.

"So lik all my cloths are pink, and green and like orange and so pritty!!! omg gurl! we shuld go shopping! I need supa sexi stuff fir my man!"

I stroke erratically as i reached my climax. Cum was squirting everywhere. If only my wife was that type of bimbo. No wonder my boss was always so happy

I went down to dinner. And there on her knees was a much improved version of my wife. Even though I just came, I was hard again. Dinner was reheated hours later.

[sp0o0kylights]

Part One: Merry Crisis 

It’s also on A03 (this chapter will go up too but not for a bit bc I have stupid adult work to do) 

Five days after New Years and Steve Harrington was haunting Eddie’s head.

This time at least, it was consensual. 

Mostly. 

“I thought you said New Year's resolutions were a total waste of time and a conformist’s mmrrph--” Gareth cuts off as a ringed hand claps (gently) over his mouth, Eddie’s glare burning a hole in the side of his best friend’s head. 

“No one asked you to comment.” Eddie informs him darkly.  

“He’s got you there, Eds.” Jeff teases, seated on a bin in Gareth’s garage, friends occupying the couch across from him. “It is one of your yearly rants.” 

“New Years Resolutions are just a convenient way for normies to understand my quests.” Eddie sniffs, ignoring the fact that he’d been going on about this since he showed up, several hours ago.    

 He releases Gareth’s mouth, springing up to pace another circuit round the garage. “I refuse to repeat another year in this god-awful high school--and!” 

Spinning on his heels, Eddie flings a hand in the air, the exact same way he had when he auditioned for Sherlock Holmes in Hawkin High’s performance of Hounds of Baskerville. “It is my duty as Hellfire’s DM to figure out what the hell those freshmen are wrapped up in with Harrington!” 

“Rii-iiight.” Gareth remarks. “I’m sure your obsession with this has nothing to do with those, what did you call them?”

Grant covers a laugh with a cough as Gareth pretends to think before saying: “Harrington’s big ol’ puppy dog eyes?”

Eddie’s face goes red. “I told you, I’m not crushing on Steve!” 

“Bro.” Grant says, expression calling out Eddie’s lie better than words ever could. 

“The entire planet knows you have a crush on him, Eds.” Gareth adds, leveling his best friend with a knowing look. “Frankly I’m amazed Steve himself hasn’t figured it out.”

“Shut it!” Eddie hissed, face aflame. “This is about everything else!  What he’s hiding! Why the kids--”

“--worship him.” Jeff, Grant and Gareth all finish as one, their impromptu chorus deflating Eddie like a sad balloon.

“We know.” Grant says. “You think Harrington and the kids are wrapped up in some kind of crazy conspiracy that's eating them all alive and because you have a compulsive desire to solve every mystery put in front of you, you can’t leave it alone. This is starting to become something you should really like, work on man.” 

Eddie turns his glare on Grant. 

“You need to drop out of that AP psychology class.” He demands with another sniff. “It’s rotting your brain.”

“Uh huh.” Grant says, voice dripping in sarcasm. 

“You;’ll see.” Eddie mutters as he resumes his pacing. “You’ll all see when I finally figure it out. You’ll be all,” Eddie straightens, clutching his hands together and squeezing them against his chest, “Oh-my-gawd, Eddie, holy shit, you were so right, they were hiding a huge secret!” 

“Keep dreamin’ bud.” Jeff says flatly, prompting laughs from Gareth and Grant.

Eddie takes off a shoe and throws it at him. 

(Jeff swears it was worth it.) 

xXx

10 days after New Years and Steve Harrington was right there.

Right.

There.

It would be easy to walk across the parking lot, strike up a conversation. Hell, the kids' presence makes it even easier, Eddie knows all he has to do is talk about them before Steve drives them home. 

He just--has to do it. 

"You do know the first step is actually talking to him right?" Jeff teases, leaning against the school’s doorway.

Eddie startles, flushing scarlet. 

"Shut up!" He snaps, turning around to run his hand over his face.

 God why was this so hard!? 

He's talked to plenty of people. Hell, he's talked to Harrington before. Talking was the thing  Eddie arguably did best and suddenly he just fucking…couldn't!? 

"He's waving at you." Jeff observes. 

Eddie whips back around to face the parking lot--to find that Harrington wasn't even facing their direction.

Jeff chuckles. 

"Oh screw you!" Eddie shoves  his shoulder into Jeff’s, glowering. 

Jeff playfully nudges him back. "Just go talk to him man. He didn't bite at the party, and he left you that note, so he's clearly open to it." 

"I know.” Eddie grumbles, moving so he could lean against the opposite side of the doorway. 

“So what’s holding you back?” Jeff turns to look at him now, as Eddie tangles a finger into a few strands of his hair. “It’s not like you hesitate instead of jumping into something head first.” 

Eddie hides in his hair for a moment, unsure of how he wanted to handle this question.

Jeff knew he was gay. All the Corroded Coffin guy’s knew he was gay, after the first (and last) time he tried to buy product from a supplier that wasn’t Rick. 

(Eddie was smart, but he’d been young back then. Hadn’t caught on to the fact the weed he’d been sold was laced with who-knew-what. 

What he did know was that when he and the boys tried it out; Grant had given a very emotional speech about love and acceptance, Jeff wouldn’t stop hugging people, Gareth ended up crying over gender issues and Eddie had admitted he was flamingly gay. 

He never bought from another supplier again, even if he did technically owe the guy who’d brought him and his best friends closer together.) 

Being gay wasn’t exactly the issue.

It was being gay, and having a blatant crush on Steve--the guy who the Hellfire kids loved. The guy who had surprised Eddie by being decent and downright fun. 

The guy who kept insisting he and Buckley were “Platonic with a Capital P”and even with Robin climbing all over him like a lemur, he had in fact kept his hands and eyes to perfectly respectable places. 

Who was practically built to appeal to Eddie, between his stupid sexy smile and the weird mystery he was wrapped up in, the same one that caused his smiles to drop the second he knew no one was paying attention. 

Add in the fact he’d played D&D once before and it was like God had made Eddie’s perfect match.

Of course because Eddie’s relationship with a deity of any kind was agonistic at best, they’d made Steve not only the straightest man to ever rule a high school, but also dangled him in front of Eddie constantly. 

Like a treat he could never, ever have, but will always crave. 

“Oh he’s actually waving at you this time.” Jeff says, and despite the high chance of this being another joke, Eddie looks anyway. 

Sure enough there was Harrington, dumb little grin on his face, waving his hand.

Eddie managed to get his brain to function long enough to wave back. 

“Wow Eds, you actually waved at him. That’s a lot of progress for you.” Gareth chimes in, appearing in between his friends with a smirk. 

“We’re proud of you buddy.” Grant adds, standing behind Gareth. 

Eddie groans aloud. “I hate you all.” He mutters, trying to keep a smile on his face for Steve until the guy turns back to herald the children into the car.

“No you don’t.” Gareth sing-songs, to the snickers of Jeff and Grant. 

And no, he doesn't--but fuck if Eddie didn’t want to wring all their necks. 

xXx

January 13th, Eddie finally gets his first resolution breakthrough.

It came in the form of Sinclair’s girlfriend, oddly enough, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

“I’m not Lucas’s girlfriend.” The redhead spat, which Eddie thought was a hell of a lot of anger for someone who he had not been formally introduced to but had flung herself into his passenger seat anyway, with a declaration that he would drive her home. 

(He, of course, had been about to protest until Max reminded him with a glare that they were neighbors--which had the effect of making Steve look relieved, like Eddie was doing him some kind of massive favor.

A favor Eddie wanted.

“For totally normal non crush related reasons Gareth, god!”) 

Currently Max is staring out the window as Eddie drives home, arms crossed and in a full sulk.

Eddie recognizes it in her the same way he recognizes it in himself, and knows intimately that he has a chance to be to her, what Wayne was to him.

Someone who didn’t just see the problems he had, but acted on them. 

That began with a conversation. 

“So not that sitting in awkward silence isn’t totally fun, but uh, why am I driving you home instead of Harrington?” Eddie asks, watching Max out of the corners of his eyes. 

She doesn’t even flinch. “What, and miss the chance to ride in the drug mobile?” 

He expects the snappish response but has to give Max credit--she is absolutely the most vicious of Steve’s kids. 

“Ok fair,” He says, because getting angry back was what she wanted. Or at least, what Eddie wanted, back when he was in Max’s shoes. “But don’t all you kids like, worship King Steve? Thought you’d want your beloved babysitting to drive you home..” 

Max’s shoulders hunch immediately, her jaw clenching. “Don’t call him that.”

“Babysitter?” Eddie questions. 

“King Steve, you ass.” She bites back. “If you like him like Lucas and Dustin swear you do, then you wouldn’t be an dick.”  

Quieter, she mutters, “He hates that nickname.” 

“Hate to break it to you, but Steve gave himself that nickname.” Eddie says, if only to buy time while he swallows the fact that the kids have decided he and Steve aren't just cool with each other, but like each other.

Obviously not like-like, as in romantic like, because they weren't psychic, but--

'Focus, idiot! Max is still talking!' 

Max rolls her eyes, huffing angrily as she finally tears her gaze away from the window. “You don’t get it.” 

“I sure as shit don’t and won’t.” Eddie agrees easily, and has to look away to keep the laughter off his face at the confused look it nets him. “Not unless you want to clue me in.” 

She chews over that for a moment, before apparently coming to a decision. “You’re annoying.” 

“Oh come on Red, if you’re gonna insult me at least do it right. Annoying is boring.” Eddie fakes a yawn, and this time does laugh at Max’s outright offended face. 

Thankfully, the antics get him exactly what he wants. 

An answer. 

"Steve saw the real world and decided he wanted to be a better person. To grow up and leave all the stupid high school petty shit behind." Max says, and for a moment it's almost like she's speaking to someone else.

Likely the person she really is mad at, Eddie assumes. 

"Calling him King Steve just takes all that progress away, and for what? Cause you're jealous?" 

She's on a roll now. Eddie remains silent, knowing Max needs to get this out.

That this rant isn't aimed at him. 

"You're mad that things were easy for him? Because newsflash, they weren't. He put in the effort to be a good guy, could even," Max fakes a dramatic gasp, "--apologize!" 

An idea takes shape, both of the unsurprising source of the younger teens' hurt and frustration, and why she at least defends Harrington so hard.

Eddie may not know how exactly Max fits into "The Party" (or even who all is included within it) but it's clear she's just as close to Steve as the rest.

Maybe even a touch moreso, in a way that's eclipsed by Henderson alone. 

Max is still going. "Steve's a genuinely good person and he's earned the right to be acknowledged as one!" 

Her eyes are wet when she finishes and Max angrily swipes at them with her sleeve. 

Eddie knows better than to comment on it, but does take a moment to think her words over. 

"Have you seen it too?" He decides to ask. It's the part that sticks out to him, so it becomes the thread he decides to pull. 

Max blinks. "What?"

"The real world. Have you seen it too?"

"Yeah." Max admits, after a long moment of silence, chewing on her lower lip. "I did. And I wish I hadn't." 

"Sucks huh?"

"You don't know half of it."

"I might not know the exact parts you saw," Eddie agrees, as he pulls up in front of his trailer. "But I have seen plenty of other nasty bits and bobs." 

He puts his van in park. "Just because the monster changes shape doesn't make it any less of a danger, you know?" 

Max sits with that for a moment. Eddie sits with her, his music on even if he has the volume turned down low. 

Waits to see if she'll say more, or if this is all he's getting. 

There’s a slight hesitation--as if for a moment, Max considers opening up--but something in her balks and she opens the door instead. 

“Thanks for the ride.” She grumbles, quiet enough that he almost doesn’t hear, before slamming the door and walking fast to her trailer.

The lights are off, and the car he knows belongs to her mother isn’t in the driveway. 

It’s not unusual to be home alone at this hour. Not for Hawkins kids, and especially not for trailer park kids like them, but for the first time, Eddie finds himself wondering how often she’s alone. 

“Hey, Red!” He calls, as he makes his way out of the van. 

She turns to look at him, and Eddie realizes he must be getting a glimpse of what every adult used to see in him. Fury and discontent, all rolling over a sadness that’s bone deep and afraid to face daylight. 

“You ever wanna explain it to me, you’re welcome to come over.” He says, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at his own trailer. 

“Whatever.” Max says with an eye roll, before storming to her front door. 

Eddie waits for the lights to go on, before retreating back to his own house, feeling like he at least established something.

Even if it was just proof that he wasn’t going to blow up or brush her off like everyone else.

xXx  

January 13th's luck didn't end there.

A few hours after Eddie made sure Steve's attack chihuahua child made it home safe, a car pulls up in front of her trailer. 

Curious (and nosey as fuck) Eddie peers out the window to spot Harrington’s Beemer flick its lights off, owner crawling out and up to Max's front door with an arm full of takeout.

Steve stands there for a while, alternating between knocking and not-quite yelling, before finally putting the food down.

Eddie knows now that Steve's some kind of pseudo parent to these kids, that the intent he has towards them is a combination of brotherly and maternal. 

Can't help himself from the opportunity that arises when Harrington moves to peek into one of Max's trailer windows, though. 

"Damn Harrington," Eddie calls out, after quietly slipping onto his front porch. "Didn't know you were the kinda creep to stare into teenage girl's windows."

Steve spins, startled, and nearly goes down on the gravel while doing so. 

Eddie laughs--it's like watching Bambi on ice--but regrets it immediately when the younger man trots over to him. 

Puts his hands up and is about to defend himself out of sheer habit. 

"Is she okay?" Steve asks, trotting up the two steps so he can lower his voice. 

Eddie wiggles his raised hands in a “maybe” sort of gesture before lowering them. 

“She’s fine right now, but she’s definitely upset.” 

Steve hums, peering worriedly at the opposing trailer, takeout food sitting innocently by Max’s door. “

“She’s been upset for a while. I just…” He trails off, running his hand through his hair. “I don’t know what to do for her, you know? She’s not as easy to figure out as the others.”

Which isn’t the least bit surprising. At least, it isn’t to Eddie. 

While he can’t speak for their missing fourth member, the remaining three freshmen are the kind to wear their emotions on their sleeves, in their own ways. Mike and Dustin compete for loudest but even Lucas, the most likely to let things go, eventually explodes. 

All Harrington has to do to handle any of their issues is simply see that something is wrong, and then ask about it. 

The drive from the high school to the trailer park took less than fifteen minutes but in them, Eddie knew immediately that Max was far more like himself at heart. Angry at everything and everyone, using insults or humor to distract from her real problems. 

Eddie now was better than he was, the eleven year old kid who’d been dumped on his Uncle, extremely wary of adults and furious at the world at large. 

Like recognizes like though, even if he’s made progress. 

“I think the best thing you can do is keep being there for her.” Eddie admits quietly, because this is an area he can actually provide some insight for.  “That all that anger isn’t going to push you away. Just don’t be surprised if it takes her a while to understand you won’t abandon her like everybody else did.”

“Huh.” Steve says, and Eddie shouldn’t be surprised that Steve is taking him seriously. Not after the not-Christmas party, but he is. 

That’s part of the mystery of Steve Harrington, after all. 

The way Steve never quite reacts the way Eddie thinks he’s going to. 

“If she doesn’t take the food can you let me know?” Steve asks, and he sounds so sad about it that Eddie couldn’t possibly refuse, even if he’d wanted to. 

“Sure thing man.” He agrees. 

Harrington watches Max’s door for a moment longer before heaving himself off the porch with a sigh

“Oh,” He says, turning around partway to his car. “ We’re gonna have a movie night next Friday night. You should come.” 

‘Bing-fucking-go.’ 

“Well how could I say no to the King himself? Tell me the time and I’ll be there.” Eddie says, and then watches Steve’s face as he winces. 

Apparently, Red was right. 

Steve doesn’t rip his head off for the nickname though. Plows right on ahead, as if Eddie hadn’t called him it at all. 

"We were planning on making it just the adults--or at least, not the freshmen.” He nods towards Max’s trailer. 

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Oh I’m sure they’re just delighted to be left out.” 

"You’d be surprised.” Steve says with a long-suffering look. “I've been informed I need more adult friends." 

Eddie can’t help but tease, though he softens his voice and grins to take the teeth out of it. "Band geek and a bunch of fourteen years olds not good enough for you?" 

"You’re forgetting my ex girlfriend." Steve adds, with his own self deprecating tone. 

“Well damn  Harrington, guess the town freak might actually be a step up for you!” Eddie says, loving that this version of Steve is willing to banter like this. 

“I dunno man, I think that nickname might be overhyped.” Steve says, and there’s that grin back on his face, the one he wore when he was stealing meaningless corporate trophies out of his father’s office. “I don’t think you’re that freaky at all.” 

He dips down in a movement that takes Eddie a moment to realize is him mimicking the curtsey he had given Eddie at the Christmas party, before getting in the Beemer. 

Then he’s gone, leaving Eddie trying to recover on the porch, wondering if the last part of that conversation actually happened or if he just wanted it so badly he dreamed the whole thing.

(When he looks back over to Max’s trailer, the takeout by the door is gone.) 

xXx 

20 days after New Years and Eddie didn’t know what he expected from a movie night at Steve’s-- but it wasn’t getting his ass kicked at beer pong. 

Of course, this may have been his fault. 

It started when Steve, three beers into a home recording of Animal House, made an off comment about Nancy Wheeler once putting all of Hawkin’s to shame at a party. 

(“Her aim has always been insane.” He'd added, as Nancy rolled her eyes and tried to hide her pleased grin behind a hand.  

Eddie had been a little surprised to see Steve hadn’t been kidding about Nancy coming--but also realized that Steve might have been serious when he’d joked about not really having a lot of friends. 

In Eddie's head, a miniature bat version of himself donned a detective's hat and cape, whipping out a notepad to dutifully write down; ‘Clue one: Steve has very few friends.’

“You, Nancy Wheeler, beat out four teams of dumb jocks…at beer pong?” Eddie asked, in total disbelief. 

“I did.” Nancy told him smugly. “And I could do it again.” 

“Really?” Eddie had said and it hadn’t been intended as a challenge, but it was taken as one.)

 Three games in, the beer having a long run out (they were actually playing “Vodka Shot Ball") and Eddie has to concur. 

Nancy Wheeler was in fact, god’s gift to throwing small orange balls into cups.

“How are you doing this!?” Eddie yells, throwing his hands in the air as Nancy sinks her last shot, Robin shrieking in victory behind her. 

Hand on her hip, Nancy gives him a lazy, smug smile. “I suppose,” She says, tilting her head, sounding for all the world like a cat who’s caught a canary, “--it would be my incredibly good aim.”

 Robin, who previously had been paired with Steve before insisting they switch (and who is more than a little drunk), shouts; “Take that Munson!” before grabbing Nancy’s wrists, pulling her into a dance. 

Laughing, Nancy goes with her, their celebration a stark contrast to the other half of the table where Steve is leaning heavily on his elbows. 

"Alright. Maybe, you do have some ungodly skills." Eddie admits, putting his hands on his head. “Forgive me for doubting you, oh Queen of beer pong.” 

"Oh, now you admit it?" Steve mutters playfully, head hanging low. "Couldn't have done it before I ran out of beer?"

"Hush Harrington, you enjoyed it." Eddie grins knocking a hip into his teammates

He too, is more than a touch drunk, despite having been on Nancy’s team for the prior two rounds. 

Vodka-Shot Ball, as it turns out, is enough to really mess a person up if you miss enough. 

"Did I?” Steve moans, before hiccupping.

(“Harrington you’re a jock, are you missing on purpose!?” Eddie had asked early in this game, when Steve’s shots had gone from fairly decent to fucking abysmal. 

“He’s two shots in, Eddie.” Robin had spoken for her soulmate, as she aimed a ball at a cup. “All those concussions don’t play nice with hard alcohol. Why do you think I switched sides?”

“I’ll remember this betrayal, Rob.” Steve grumbled in response. “See if I ever do your hair for you again.”

Batective Eddie promptly scribbled; ‘Clue Two, Steve has had a lot of concussions and can no longer handle a lot of hard liquor’ down on his notepad, puffing on his little old-timey pipe. ‘Also he does hair.’) 

“Now that Stubbornson over here has finally admitted defeat,” Steve says, “Can we please go lay down? We're way too drunk for another round.” 

“Speak for yourself, Lightweight. I’m fine.” Eddie tells him, walking towards the door to the kitchen.

Of course life cannot tolerate him being smooth and so Eddie walks dead-on into the closed glass door rather than the open one next to it. 

He staggers back and loses his balance, falling hard on his ass. 

“Shit!” Someone curses. 

“You okay Eddie?” Someone else asks.

“Yeah.” He moans, rubbing at his head. 

Wheeler appears next to him, shooing his hands away from his face so she could examine him. 

“You’re an idiot.” Nancy informs him calmly, hands expertly checking his head. Her touch is professional, but Eddie's surprised by it anyway, “But I think you’ll live.” 

Eddie squints up at her. “How come you’re not drunk?” He asks, and okay, yeah, he definitely hears the slur in his voice this time. 

"I only had three drinks across all three games." Nancy informs him sweetly. "None of them were vodka."

"I hate you." Eddie moans dramatically, before opting to lay down on the porch. 

“No you don’t.” Nancy says confidently, and then pats his head, before getting up from her crouch. “How are you doing Steve?”

“Kill me.” Comes Harrington's voice from across the patio, sounding very pathetic. 

Eddie wishes he could pet his head.  

“Denied!” Robin calls out. “Don’t even joke about that dingus, you got too close last summer as it was.”

(Batective Eddie, swaying a little with a beer bottle in his paw, tries to write that down.

He somewhat succeeds.) 

Nancy disappears for a moment and Eddie wills himself to sit up--or at the very least roll to where Harrington and Buckley are. 

"I'm going to drive myself and Robin home.”  Nancy announces as she reappears, alongside a hovering bottled water. 

Gratefully, he takes it.

With a tone that’s only this side of too-sweet, she asks; “Eddie? Would you like a ride?”

He considers it.

On one hand, that means he leaves his van here. So someone else has drive him to get it back in the morning (unless Harrington drives it to him and while Eddie finds himself weirdly unopposed to that idea, he doesn’t want to impose.

…Or inflict the current sad state of his van’s interior on Steve before he knows the guy better.) 

On the other hand, he’s clearly too drunk to drive, which means more time with a drunk Steve Harrington.

That’s gotta be good for figuring out clues, right? 

(In his head, Batective Eddie shoots him a thumbs up from where he lays, facedown on the floor.) 

 "If I get into a car I’m going to hurl." He announces. “So I’m gonna pass.” 

Nancy makes a very unlady like noise, and Eddie grins, finally managing to lurch up to his elbows. “Nancy Wheeler was that a snort!?” He teases gleefully, as she rolls her eyes. 

“Maybe.” She says, then holds out a hand. 

Eddie slaps his in it, but does his best not to pull on her. Instead he mostly uses her for balance as he works his way to his feet. 

“You guys get home safe okay?” Steve says, voice uncharacteristically serious as Robin helps him up from the pool chair he'd collapsed in. “Check in when you do.” 

That’s weird--Eddie half expects it to be some sort of inside joke or macho, alpha man type comment but instead both Robin and Nancy nod seriously. 

“We will.” Nancy promises. “Thank you for inviting me, Steve. Nice meeting you properly, Eddie.” 

She gifts him with a smile, an honest one, before guiding Robin out the door. 

Who screams; “Bye losers, love you!” as she exits.  

(Eddie thinks this might be another moment for Batective Eddie except he’s sort of getting a headache and kinda just wants to sleep rathe than envision his Sherlock Holmes styled bat-self.) 

They follow the ladies in, Eddie beelining for the first cough he sees. 

“You can sleep it off here.” Steve tells him, zombie-walking to his fridge. He pulls out a soda and chugs it as Eddie falls face first into couch cushions, taking a moment to let his stomach settle before adjusting to a better position. 

"Nah I'm just gonna close my eyes for a second." Eddie mumbles. “Be fine in a ‘lil bit, promise.” 

Does so, and enjoys the sweet, sweet darkness that envelops him. 

He jerks awake a moment later, blinking hard in the dark. A blanket has been draped over him, and his shoes kicked off, though judging from where they landed Eddie thinks he’s done that part himself.

A glance at his wristwatch reveals it's 1 AM, and Eddie goes to scrub his eyes with his hands.

Shit, he hadn't intended to stay this long. 

Harrington’s creepy Christmas shit’s all gone, replaced by walls so blank they look almost sterile. 

It creates a different, quieter vibe that's almost more spooky than the Santa-themed tomb Eddie had previous seen. The large windows throw shadows across the open space, like elongated fingers. It covers parts of the room in thick darkness, giving the appearance than anything could be hiding within them. 

There's blankets on the couch catty-corner to Eddie’s. They're rucked up, and the sound of running water abruptly clues Eddie in to where Steve might be. 

A golden glow erupts from the kitchen, then off again, before repeating the pattern.  

( Batective Eddie returns with a squeak, frantically waving a sign. 

It reads ‘Steve is afraid of flickering lights, remember!?’) 

The noise in the kitchen has gone eerily quiet. The bad kind, that makes the hairs on his neck stand up, and Eddie rolls off the couch and to his feet, making his way to the kitchen. 

Comes around the corner to see Steve frozen halfway to the stove, his head craned upward at the ceiling lights. 

Eddie knew that whatever had happened, a clear trigger for all those involved (the kids, Harrington, hell even Nancy Wheeler that one time in the library--) was electrical issues in lights. 

He clears his throat, the sound coming out like more of a growl. He coughs to clear it, then sidles closer. 

Steve has a stillness to his body that Eddie doesn’t clock until it’s too late, his hand already reaching out to tap the taller man’s shoulder. 

"Hey, uh Steve?"

Gets the shock of his life when Steve yanks his shoulder away, spinning back and around like he's been burned. 

Eddie gets a flash of wide brown eyes, glassy and wild, before a frying pan is swung at his head. 

"What the hell Harrington!" Eddie yelps, falling down on his ass and scrambling backwards, pan missing his head by inches. 

(Envisions in his head his Batective self throwing his notes in the air, taking flight with a startled “Fleeeee!”)

Harrington stands over him. Looks just like Wayne did that one time a car battery caught fire and exploded near the trailer. 

Like he was somewhere else, and prepared to do what he had to in order to get back. 

Chest heaving, Eddie put aside all thoughts of stupid bats and did what he did best.

Talked.

xXx

20 days after New Years, Steve almost takes Eddie's head off with a frying pan. 

Doesn't realize he's swung it like a weapon until he hears the surprised shout, his brain too steeped in adrenaline and old fears. 

Freezes, because the shout sounds like one of the kids but he doesn’t remember them being here...

"--eve?"

"What?" He asks, the ringing slowly easing as his tunnel vision does. 

He'd heard the growl, saw the lights flicker…

A gentle hand presses into his bicep, and he finds himself staring into Eddie Munson’s eyes. 

The guy has a sort of look on his face that says he's trying his best not to freak out, but then Steve blinks and it's gone. 

Replaced with something gentle, if cautious. 

"You wouldn't mind if I just," Eddie trails off as his ringed fingers slowly stroke down Steve's arm, before carefully taking hold of the pan’s handle. "--took this, aye love?"

It's the nickname that brings Steve back fully, and he loosens his grip on the pan, surrendering it to Munson. 

"Thank you Steve." He says, leaning to put the pan back on the stove, far out of Steve's current reach. 

Then his hands return to Steve's wrists, and he finds himself staring at them in confusion.

Not because he doesn't know what happened--he does.

It's  more that he's shocked Eddie is still willing to touch him after he nearly brained him. 

"There's egg on the floor." Steve says, because it's the easiest thought to have at the moment. 

Easier than apologizing. 

Definitely easier than explaining.

"We'll clean the egg up later." Eddie says firmly, and Steve's never heard him use that tone of voice before. Firm and unyielding, like he has all the answers.

It's the kind of voice Steve can surrender his anxiety to and he finds himself almost sinking into it. 

If Munson asked him to walk over a cliff just then, he would be more than a little tempted.

"Let's go sit down, just for a few minutes." Eddie tells him, a gentle tug on his wrists and Steve finds himself breathing out, his body shivering with the release of stress. 

He nods, unable to speak, and allows himself to be maneuvered out into his living room, then down on one of the loveseats. 

Eddie sits next to him, his thigh a line of grounding heat pressed against Steve's leg and he focuses on it to keep himself in the present. 

"You back with me?"

Steve works his throat, hyper aware of how dry it is. "Yeah." He says.

Then adds, "sorry."

"Don't apologize, man. I've done plenty of trip sitting in my day. I know a panic attack when I see one."

Steve vaguely wants to ask what the hell trip sitting is, but finds himself unconsciously leaning towards Eddie instead. 

Somehow he doesn't mind, even though Steve's practically squished up against him. Not that Eddie's ever been one to care about personal space, but Steve knows there's a difference between a teasing joke and whatever this is. 

Eddie's thumb begins to rub gentle, grounding circles into the meat of Steve's wrist. 

It gives his eyes something to track and gratefully Steve does, so he doesn't have to look Eddie in the face. 

Isn't sure he can clear the tears trying to wet his eyes in time to brush this off. 

Claim it's nothing serious.

"You wanna talk about it?" Eddie asks and somehow Steve didn't account for how direct the metalhead could be.

The tears strengthen and for a moment his vision blurs with them, before he sucks in a shuddering breath and forces himself back under control. 

'God Steven, toughen up.' His father's voice rings out in his head, the memory branded into Steve's very being. 'It's ridiculous how much you cry. Do you think anyone wants to put up with that?'

Steve had answered no then, tone wobbling. 

"I--" He starts, "--signed an NDA."

Which is not, at all, what he meant to say, but too late now. 

"The cops and I aren't exactly on speaking terms, your secrets are safe with me." Eddie says, entirely unphased. 

Which ghosts a smile over Steve’s face at least, even as he finds himself totally lost. 

How exactly is he supposed to explain this? 

The Upside Down, the Russians, hell even the way he's become hyper vigilant?

That certain words or references act like bullets, sending him to the floor in a spiral of burning panic? 

Nevermind his finely honed instinct to use anything as a weapon when startled.

Sensing his discomfort, Eddie hums quietly before making a suggestion. "How about you tell me a totally fake, very unreal  story?"

Steve croaks a laugh. 

"I'm a really bad story teller." He warns. 

"Practice makes perfect." Eddie tells him, leaning his shoulder into the taller man's. 

Grateful--and feeling more than a little pathetic--Steve finds himself seeking out the touch. 

"Okay." He agrees quietly, with a jerky nod of his head. "A--completely untrue, over exaggerated story. I can do that." 

So he does. 

xXx 

The story Steve tells in halting, fumbling bursts of words involves monsters, the supernatural, government secrets and coverups. 

The latter half of which doesn't even surprise Eddie--anyone with half a brain could see the sheer number of incidents that happened one after another was a cover up for something big-- but he can't help himself from trying to detangle reality from fiction. 

Monsters he gets. It's easier to pretend the bad guy is an evil creature than a real person, to distance yourself from it in such a way it feels fake. 

The supernaturally gifted girl is a little harder, but if you replace superpowers with some poor kid involved in some kind of shitty, abusive government program, then he can buy it. 

What Steve never explains, is what set him off. 

Eddie tells him so. 

"I told you I was a bad storyteller." Steve says in response, which isn’t an explanation but then, Eddie realizes he is pushing awful hard for a guy who he barely knows to bare his soul--and who, in turn, barely knows him.

Not really anyway.

Not outside of rumors and old wounds. 

"Is there anything that ever helps you feel safer?" 

"People." Steve says immediately. "People always help but ah, well." His smile is pained, self deprecating. "I can't exactly ask for sleepovers every night, can I?”

He shrugs. “So I just keep a few things close.' 

"A few things?"

"My nailbat."

"Is the nailbat a bat…with nails in it?" Eddie hedges, desperately attempting to keep a calm, straight face because what the fuck? 

But this was a no judging zone, and it wasn’t as if a bat with nails in it was the weirdest thing Eddie had ever encountered. Not since Uncle Wayne’s friends informed him they had at minimum, seventeen guns hidden in their own trailer across town. 

‘Things are happening at night, kid. Bad things. Don’t go too far into the woods looking for trouble.’

"Maybe." Steve admits. 

"How about instead of hugging a nail bat to sleep, if things get bad you come over. Wayne works the night shift and I have insomnia anyways." 

"Really?" 

Eddie can’t blame him for sounding surprised. 

"Yeah man. No skin off my nose, though you will be stuck hearing my beautiful sweetheart. She's a guitar sent from heaven. "

"I can handle that." He says, a smile ghosting across his face. 

Then; "Thanks Eddie."

Eddie presses his shoulder against Steve’s. "Anytime, big boy." 

(Crisis over, Batective Eddie returns, swooning. 

Eddie mentally squashes him under his own notes.) 

[jacedified]

things i cant stop thinking about !!

most of this is going to imperium related so enjoy my brain turning mwah

also pls ignore my mid sentence rambling i have a serious problem

warnings: gore/mentions of death , violence , imperium , swearing :D , adult with internet access cant shut up

- yandere caller being a shade

(someone said this on a hc list and now im actively running with it)

- sams eyes being brown

(as a brown eye haver i know he misses them dearly and i wnna give him the worlds sweetest biggest longest hug)

- the idea of gavin “slicing” peoples threads for kody in imperium

(forcing my husband ((i need therapy im married to a fictional incubus)) to do such acts simply because you want to you sick freak ILL FUCKING KILL U- oh wait gavin already did xoxo kiss my ass from hell kody)

- the look on kodys face at the end of it all

(as previously stated i wanted that man dead.. i just wanna make sure hes actually gone yknow)

- what asher’s smile looked like when him and david were together (imperium)

(knowing that david was gone, hearing the random audience member asking for david to be alive and left alone in the first imperium video, knowing they were mates, knowing how heartbroken asher was after his death i just wanna see them happy maann ((it feels criminal to use emojis on tumblr)) 😭😭)

- if lasko calling freelancer “my dear” when you first met him in the haven was a sneak peek for his later ((is the word prime for like normal redacted universe characters i can’t remember, like prime lasko yada yada)) listeners name

- if no one was watching gavin WOULD HE HAD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IMP!HUXLEY???

(the amount of shit talking hux did when freelancer and gavin first get to the haven had me ready to fight in an instant ((it mightve just been my overwhelming adoration for gavin but still)) like he was acting like an annoying jock who gets a job as security for some fuck ass rich university and thinks hes on top of the world like dont piss me off huxley or damien gets it in the other universe so help me god)

- is anyone else as attracted to the tension between vincent and asher in imperium as i am..

(i have no words for how “yippee kicking my feet happy smiley kiss now kiss now what if u kissed rn” i was when asher and vincent are talking but also i feel like pet ((is that vincents listeners name or vegas I CANT REMEMBER PLS)) was behind a door listening in and getting jealous bc “that should be me holding your hand..”

… excuse the outburst)

- vampire milo.. thats all

(GAWD hes so hot like he always is and always has been but jesus FUCKING christ theres something about him having been a vamp did something to me that i cant even explain)

- what was avior saying to lasko to make him irritated with him..

(i mean yeah hes a yapper but i feel like it was just “hey we need help down here” and lasko rolling his eyes and waiting two weeks before actually doing anything)

- WHERE TF IS ELLIOT WHERE TF IS SUNSHINE CAN I BEAT BLAKES ASS??

- what would have happened had milo not broken the ward

(again someone else mentioned this ((i would tag them but it was 6hrs ago and i was just scrolling and reading)) and now i cant stop thinking about it)

- what is avior hearing in his last video

(its been a while since ive actually listened to aviors playlist again but there was a voice or sounds he was hearing after getting out of the meridian and its just been on my mind)

- gavin having a myspace account

(he would love myspace i just know he would and i feel like he’d be an avid tumblr user but like its just him posting his favorite pics of himself from the week and updates on whatever small pet him and freelancer would very obviously inevitably get bc he saw it in a pet store or on the street and couldnt resist)

- what happens when freelancer gets old..

(freelancer is just that.. a freelancer. they arent a vamp, or a demon, or even some secret third thing.. what happens to them and gav when they get old. have they had that talk yet? i shouldnt think about this bc it makes me spiral into a bucket of tears and sadness bc its the same thing with sam and darlin’ like we wont know what theyll do when their partners get old and they are still young and immortal.. sigh 😔)

- can i cut the meridian open with a knife if i tried?

(how thin is the meridian? how easy is it to access? how long would it take me to literally stab it open? ((i have serious issues)) )

- imp!damien..

(yea i have a crush on him or whatever nothing crazy)

- is the person asher catches in imperium baabe or is it just random listener #18683 ?

(obviously my first thought when i listened to imperium like a year ago i thought baabe nd asher would be together ((i was delusional and on an asher high)) but then when it was revealed that he and david were mates in that universe did that mean baabe just doesnt exist or are they the person that gets caught by him or again some secret third thing)

- what happens to angel in the mess that is imperium, honestly what happens to all the shaw pack listeners

(obviously sweetheart is left out of this equation bc them and milo are still happily obsessed with each other in every universe BUT angel, baabe, and darlin where yall at??)

- WHERE ARE THE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EMPATHY DEMONS IN IMPERIUM UNIVERSE??

(this just popped into my mind but WHERE IS MY SON?? what have u done with my son WHERE IS MY SON??!!?)

- is anyone else as obsessed with just erik and his mind?

(that handsome blessing to my youtuber universe.. i could listen to him babble for hours and will do so bc it feeds my “listening to nerdy man babble on abt his fixations” quota)

- what imperium versions of characters do people prefer over their counterparts

(personally i prefer imp! huxley, damien, and vincent over their prime versions ((still dont know if im using the term prime in the right context)) idk what it is but well i know what it is for huxley and damien but we dont need to get into why i dont like hux and dames rn :D but for vincent i just like seeing a different version of him i think.. hes so confident with his decisions, and knows what he wants in imperium i just want that for regular vince too.. sigh)

uhh anyways.. i think thats enough thinking for now, going back to sleep

stay safe out there

[starplusfourletters]

I finally finished the last command

and it was a romp (spoilers)

Chewie spends the whole book on the edge of a nervous breakdown but buddy you very much did that to yourself. Sure, you swear a life debt to a guy who turns out to be One of the People in the Galaxy That Things Just Keep Happening To. Bad luck, bound to happen sometimes. But then you decide that life debt extends to his wife knowing FULL WELL that Even More Things Just Keep Happening to HER, and then they go and have TWINS? That’s on you, bud.

Mara “I still do want revenge on Luke Skywalker yes definitely now hold that thought I need to go risk my life to save Leia and the twins” Jade. Mara you’re embarrassing yourself.

Actual conversation:

Leia: Thanks again for saving my life. Mara: Don’t thank me until after I’ve killed Luke which I still absolutely want to do. Leia: So uhhh why’d you do it? Mara: I’m just opposed to kidnapping. Leia: Were you kidnapped? Mara: I dOn’T wAnT tO tAlK aBoUt iT yes. Leia: ... Mara: YOU THINK THIS IS ABOUT MY TROUBLED PAST?? Leia: … Mara: BECAUSE IT’S NOT Leia: … Mara: Anyway here’s the information only I can provide that will turn the tide of the war. It’s free. Friends and family discount. Leia: Thanks. Mara: I’M STILL GOING TO KILL YOUR BROTHER Leia: That’s nice, dear.

MY KINGDOM FOR GHENT. His dad boss forgets to pick him up from AV Club so he spends two months wandering unrestricted through the capital building and then cracks Enigma because he’s bored

A TWELVE-DAY Character Bonding Hiking Trip??!? Zahn’s really outdone himself this time

WAIT THIS WHOLE TIME MARA DIDN’T KNOW LUKE AND VADER ARE RELATED?? Omigod that’s HILARIOUS. I mean, yeah, I guess it just never came up? And she didn’t watch the OT movies? That’s very funny to me for some reason. I definitely assumed she’d gotten that memo

Oh man it really feels like I should have seen that reveal coming and I absolutely did not. Gawd I love the 90s. Wowowowowowow. Chef’s kiss. I have so many questions about the Bespin janitorial system

“LUUKE” I’m dying

Admiral “It appears to be a trap.” Akbar

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Good vs. Evil Star Wars content to bring you “the two Evil factions getting in each other’s way vs the two Good factions getting in each other’s way until they all realize we’ve hit the end of the book and just start attacking everything indiscriminately”

The Climactic Battle Scene:

Luke: Fighting his clone! Han: Pew pew pew pew! Mara: Psychic defense! Psychic attack! Leia: Dual wielding blaster and lightsaber! Karrde: In the back, petting his doggos and talking on his phone I was legit worried about his safety in this book. But he's not dumb; he knows he doesn't have enough plot armor to take on the Big Bad. He is simply the best there is

Wedge / Aves is the rarepair I didn’t know I needed

RUKH!!

Oh thank God the doggos are okay

So as far as I can tell Thrawn made one mistake that wasn’t just bad luck and it was doing a shit job of getting Mara out of the way. The dude really should have had MORE of his enemies killed

Thesis statement: Aww Themb! <3

Now I just need to watch someone explain this series to Ep9-era Palpatine. Preferably in the style of Worthikids.

[tonycries]

TONY! MY HEART, I SAW A THING, AND IT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT! Ok, so I was doom scrolling about Jason Todd. Well, I stumbled across this post about how he would bend down to hear your better and JUST IMAGINE ANY OF OUR FINE MEN (incels included) LIKE WE GET ALL RED AND FLUSHED AND THEIR ALL LIKE, "Sorry babe, didn't hear", AND AHHHHH, Like imagine them each having their own little movement. Gojo: would WHOLEY bend over your shoulder. Nanimi: would tilt your head up as he bent down. Ect. JUST IMAGINE that they basically shrug it off and move on, and we're in the corner having to fan ourselves because WOOWEE, that tall fine glass of EVERYTHING came down to face level? Anyways Talk soon Always - bunny Kisses

Oh my god YES whenever a guy does this I swear my legs open themselves up instantly 😭😭 Niagara falls?? Yeah m'gonna show you something similar-

ANYWAY Gojo is a lil' shit so I 1000000% see him doing ts on purpose to fluster you mhm. Same with Toji and Geto lowkey.

Speaking of Geto, when he bends down I bet you get a whiff of his expensive shampoo GAWD 😵‍💫 Nanami's the only nice one but even he has trouble hiding his smile back at how easily you're affected.

N' with our incel boys omg Shiggy does NOT realize it at first he's just like huh weird? Do NOT let this man find out tho, soon enough you'll have him draping himself all over you - even mid convo with someone else, boy has no shame.