#games were so innovative
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it's funny when people are like "dont play the first game, janky controls!"
idk man, i like the jankiness of old games, it's what made older games so unique and quirky and cool. a lot of new games do the same thing but in a different way, and that's kinda boring after like the 3rd game.
(unless it's pokemon and im playing the 3rd, 4th and 5th gens, theyre still fun to play to this day, despite Diamond/Pearl/Platinum being SLOW as hell during battles)
#games were so innovative#the most recent unique game ive probably played is death stranding#i LOVED that game#cool story. heartbreaking actually. awesome characters and unique gameplay#yeah it's delivery simulator in a post-apocalyptic(?) world but#it does it in such a cool unique way ive never seen in any other game#i guess it helps its a kojima game#ramblings
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it's criminal that ubisoft stopped making the murder mystery sidequests in assassin's creed ... they were sooo good in Unity and Syndicate... I understand that not every time period is appropriate for that but tbh they obviously just abandoned the idea altogether (along with every other innovation from Unity) and they never want to bring it back ... sad
#they were so enjoyable... Unity had lots of good ideas for side quests and then after syndicate they stopped doing all of it#ofc it's also criminal that the parkour and assassination movements from unity were also tossed aside ...#they introduced all these really cool innovations and then tossed it aside after making just one more game with them#they got so close to perfection ... the perfect experience of assassin creed and then they immediately said ''yeah nah actually lol"#dreadful crimes#murder#assassin's creed#Assassin's Creed Syndicate#AC#Syndicate#Assassin's Creed#Unity#Assassin's Creed Unity#ubisoft#ac mine#my thoughts#my post#my posts#text post#textposts
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No more new consoles. Game companies need to be developing games for shitty limited hardware until they can learn to behave themselves.
#compress your god damn files#so sad the most fun and innovative game mechanics are birn out of hard ware limitations#the ds and 3ds were peak gaming for this reason
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Mario RPGs fans how we feeling after that announcement?
#Super Mario#Nintendo direct#Flor talks#I love how much people were hoping with Nintendo doing RPG remakes + that one survey and they DELIVERED !!!#hope this means the next Paper Mario games will be more innovative than the paper gimmicks + have more varied Toads#(on that note I wouldn't be surprised if Brothership was the first M&L game without Toadsworth sadly :( )#and yeah I'm gonna waste some money this fall#you have the Mario and Luigi game; the Mario Party game which I'm a bit more hesitant but does seem pretty dope#the Ace Attorney Investigations 2 game which is hype; also I'm really curious how the character names will be translated#and if it's going to be a mess for the people in the fandom using the fan translation names#also the Zelda game which FINALLY ZELDA IS PLAYABLE IN A GAME FROM THE FRANCHISE NAMED AFTER HER#ABOUT TIME NINTENDO#also not a game I'm interested in getting but I'm incredibly amused by the Hello Kitty creators calling their game 'Island Adventure'#they KNEW what they were doing with that name and I find it so funny
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I am genuinely upset about Andi! WTF is FSG doing? She's one of the best in the entire league! The pens online presense was top tier but with ITR gone last year, and now Andi, I don't have any idea what their plans are. Please let Jen be safe! I'm sure Andi will find a place. I'm not too worried for her. The Pens media department tho
I really wish her the best in whatever she does next. She was at the helm at the peak of the Pens' social media engagement and prominence, and while that fell off as she ascended the ladder and became a VP/further removed from the day-to-day posting, I think she did a ton of good work here.
I'll be very interested in how the department reconfigures in her absence. There seem to be a lot of power vacuums right now, with lots of people with long tenures at the Pens departing. Part of me hopes there's a chance for young blood; other teams have been doing more innovative, more curious, and more creative stuff in terms of their media. While losing legacy employees is a loss, I can only hope that there's an infusion of youthful, out-of-the-box thinking coming our team's way. It's the best we can hope for.
#I'd be galled if jen were let go frankly. like sure no one is too high up to be safe w/e but she is HIGH UP#and she's very ingratiated w/ the players (think about geno's “I want to go home jen” lol)#while I don't doubt andi was a familiar face to them I think they rely on jen a *lot*.#I think about her interview she did where she said she thought of some of them (kris/sid/g) as her kids lol#but also I thought andi was safe when I read the announcement today so clearly this is all conjecture and I don't claim to KNOW anything#I think our media has been falling behind in the past several years admittedly.#it's hard because I *did* join the fandom when the team was at its peak and I think that makes media/fan engagement easier. you're a winner#but I think it's just a matter of fact that we are not as cutting edge as we once were on our socials#the loss of ITR blows and I'm still mad at FSG for that#but I think they have a chance now to prove they care about getting back to innovation. I don't know that I trust them to execute it though#also I don't want this to be a critique of andi. especially when she's freshly off of losing her role.#this is more about the org itself needing to refocus on being innovative.#they've been a bit too comfortable in a lot of aspects in the past few years. having been to more arenas now and seeing more teams do thing#I have found it easy to say it feels like other teams/orgs are TRYING harder.#seattle puts on a show every game. their in-arena partners are cool. they have live music before every game. they have a freakin' drum line#y'know? pittsburgh had.... a really annoying train airhorn this season that they abandoned halfway through lol#the spirit of innovation has been gone for a few years now. if this gets it back... well we'll all be lucky IF that happens.
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I think it's interesting that Gortash has a lot of clear plot parallels with Sarevok, something I didn't really appreciate until returning to BG1. But the mercantile empires with dark undersides, the rise to political prominence via business connections and manufactured public terror, even the connections with industry... and of course the Iron Throne. Second verse, a little different from the first.
#many thoughts I am mulling over here.#I think I keep returning to this aspect of feeling that for all that he was held back by the results of his botched assassination(s)#sarevok was emblematic of a time where these grandiose schemes were in a sense much more brilliant and innovative#and connected in less traditional feeling ways to religious doctrine#sure sarevok carried out his true father's mission in the world but it's a far cry from the simplistic death in droves of dark urge#and when someone like gortash does the military-industrial complex it's Very Banite#I think it's cool how these elements of the games overlap without actually repeating or feeling like one was just mimicking the other#and I think the contrast kind of highlights a lot of what I find fascinating about sarevok at the moment.#so sayeth emi
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They’re not a super popular ship in terms of romance, but they’re 100% a thing and always side by side in fan works more often than Ganondorf with Bowser, so they’re a duo for sure (that and OoT came out around the same time as FFVII I think so more shared history there)
Ah, see I think I've seen more Ganondorf and Bowser associations because of Brawl's plot giving them some shared screen time (and of course both being big Nintendo properties, and growing up with the jokes about Nintendo having one (1) color palette for BBEGs). Not in a ship sense, just their general "I know that guy from work" fan stuff.
But I don't really shop in Final Fantasy or the latest SSB sectors often, so I haven't seen them before!
#then again in FF7 I really only cared about Cid and also Barret kljkdas not that ff isn't great!! I have HUGE respect for that franchise#and what it did for storytelling and exploring and gaming in general. MASSIVE respect for the FF series#VII was just something that my friends were super into and I kind of hung out and liked the grumpy little team dads#you know how when you're a teenager and everyone around you is So Pumped about Thing and you just don't have it in you? that was me lol#My KH friends were foaming at the mouth over Cloud and Seph and Sora and Riku and fam I tried to care I really did I tried so hard#but I couldn't!! It's not for me. The closest I got to caring about seph was loz in advent children he is all tiddy and zero brain 10/10#I didn't end up playing FF7 until like 2006 and then again in 2017 and I remember it was good!#But while I could tell you all about Cid I really only vaguely remember the main story asdasklj megacorp bioengineering and ? aliens ??#tldr I wave at FF through the window from across the street laksda I enjoyed 7 and I'll play the remake but it's really not my scene#Same with SSB. I appreciate them both I have fun playing them but it's generally not something I think about when I'm not physically playin#square has some of the most innovative storytelling in the industry don't get me wrong I just rarely crave the flavor they sell ykwim??
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[ actually unpopular opinion
most "third versions" dont live up to their potential actually. id argue only platinum did ]
#❌|| ʏᴀ ɢɪʀʟ ɢɪᴏ 💀 ooc ||❌#b2w2 or remakes dont count!!!!!#crystal gave us a female mc and thats so good but also removed SO many pokemon i like and didnt go anywhere w the unown plot imo#yellow gave us pikachu and its cute but the innovation kind of disappears after like. half an hour#emerald gave us a really cool cutscene w rayquaza but its not enough. to me#and ofc the less i talk about usum the better#my point is. i have always mixed feeligns about dlc but im glad were going in that direction instead of#''buy this game again except it doesnt have the pokemon you want + we added one (1) extra cutscene here and there ^_^''
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I always forget this wasn’t a thing everywhere but my high school had a fun and innovative way to torment us in PE. They got heart rate monitors. It was this awful strap that went under the bra line and paired to a watch. The first day was great cause we got to set our resting heart rate. We did this by laying in a dark room and napping.
But then once a week we’d have to strap on these monitors and go running. The monitors were old tech and didn’t always pick up your heartbeat, so you’d have to use cold water between it and your skin to get a better connection, gods know why. Warm water never worked. After the day our watches would be collected and our efforts recorded.
The idea was that if your heart beat too fast you were supposed to stop, and if it was too slow you’d speed up. In practice this was ridiculous, staying in the green zone all class was ridiculously difficult.
Even people like me who were stubbornly resistant to running the mile couldn’t stand the horrific constant beeping and made attempts to placate the reviled machine. It was always fairly miserable. I had PE first thing in the chilly morning, dashing cold water on my skin before running around half awake was the low point of my week.
But for some unknown reason, the teacher insisted that no play could happen on these days. We were given the freedom to run all over campus but woe betide us if we tried to make a game that actually made this enjoyable.
We’d initiate games of tag only to get yelled at for not just… running. Any kind of play was forbidden. On one memorable occasion someone got a kickball and we started an impromptu soccer game with it.
If someone’s heart rate got too high they’d drop to their knees to wait out the shrieking of their watch so an extra element was added to the game of trying to win without going too hard. I remember being absolutely delighted, the thrill of that game still lives in my heart, hoping I could score a goal before my heartbeat betrayed me to the hated watch.
When the PE teacher found us we were soundly scolded and the ball was confiscated. Our happiness burst like a soap bubble and we turned our back to the enchantment of the green field and resumed slogging along in a grey haze as expected.
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I'm now reaching that point in the year where I start REALLY REALLY wanting a VR headset again.
#tech yearning#I don't know if I posted much about it last year but I started playing this game called Banter#*The game is a VR game that also has a flatscreen client on Steam for context.#The community there is genuinely very kind and welcoming... but they use tons of ai 'art' and I couldn't reconcile playing it any longer#I started playing because they were hosting giveaways and I was waiting around to see if I might win...#*Specifically giveaways for quest 3 units#... But I started genuinely having fun with those people because they were so nice#I didn't have a single incident of someone bejng mean to me there. not in the game or the discord or even the subreddit (!!!!!)#They hosted an open mic night where I got on the stage and read my horror story 'stairwell'... And people CHEERED. Someone friended me after#I've never had such a smooth and kind experience playing an online video game in my whole life#But even still I can't justify staying in a community that condones art theft because it's in a wrapper of 'tech innovation'#all the same I miss it now I actually redownloaded it yesterday to take a look at what's up and there have been a few changes#Maybe if I get that new cheap quest 3 I'll pop in to see what it looks like in VR once or twice
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#i really did not have much to say about this event#it was a pretty 'just alright i guess' kind of feeling#the party going around in adventures and stuff with some humor like in the game and little else#with the novelty of having alisha and dezel having worn out years ago#so frankly i'm not very motivated to translate#but i might as well post this part at least#this was not really innovative#because there was a previous scene with a zombie dragon and edna having issues with it too#and same goes for a convo with edna and maybe mileena? talking about how different dragons were in tir na nog#but i at least like in the note they ended it with#sorey and edna's relationship has always been vastly overlooked and that includes zestiria itself#kinda wish there was more besides this and the armatization scene in the last part but well#i never have many expectations when it comes to zesty events in rays#there might be ymmv exceptions but this feeling of being skippable isn't new to me#rays talk#e-c tag
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I've had some video game ideas for a while in my head, one being based on Pocket Card Jockey (look it up) and another being a 2d Mario type-a platformer. And one day in the middle of brainstorming shit, it hit me like a truck that my minds eyes for these has been based on the DS the whole time, and now I'm concerned if my 3DS-Wiiu Baby ass will ever be able to make a game without dual-screen functionality 💀💀
#shut the heck up#video game ideas#likejdjfjf omg we need to go back#nintendo was right that shit was the future itbwas so fun!#there were some games that fucked uo the gimmick but a lot of times it was unintrusive-#-or even very innovative and interesting#switch i love you but i need nintendo to be goofy again sometimes
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!season 1
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/36b8650b32127856ffe09bd89ad3cca1/9079279d7c903b6e-d1/s400x600/6b41ccb915c1ae1adcd45cbd6717a667325f8220.jpg)
Viktor is, you've clearly observed, insecure of himself.
Quite valiantly, due to some looming social norm or personal feeling, he tries to hide it. But in moments like these, such an act becomes impossible. Try as he might, desperately at times, when he's pressed against you in the warm water, your fingers over his skin, your fingers in his hair, his failure is palpable.
"Are you okay?" You murmur into the nape of his neck, his back against your chest. The water threatens with gentle churns to spill over the bathtub.
He turns his head to press a kiss against your wrist.
"More than," he says, voice quiet but firm, "I just feel, sometimes," and he hums, as though forming an adequate description of his emotions were the hardest task on the planet. Viktor, your genius scientist, hesitant not to innovate, to change the world with his research, no. He's hesitant only to make sure he says the right thing to you.
"Like I'm too good for you?" You ask, catching his eye. By the gentle look you know that's what he means. He faces away again, nods in a vaguely ashamed way.
How, you've always wondered, can you truly change someone's perspective? When words don't seem to persuade, when actions bring only fleeting relief, what can you do?
"It's irrational, I know, some... flaw of the mind. You don't need to keep reassuring my senselessness." He leans into your touch, takes your free hand into his, soap suds bubbling between your fingers.
"Sometimes you talk about yourself like you're a machine, you know." You muse. He gives a half-hearted laugh.
"Not a well functioning one."
Are words or actions worth more in this game of convincing? Does he feel it deeper when you press your lips into his hair, or when you mumble compliments and honeysuckle words into his ear? He shivers either way.
It's a long game, you know. It's taken months to even reach this stage, where the self-deprication is a rarity, not the norm. Maybe it'll take his whole life before he can accept every part of himself like you can, before he can truly see himself through your eyes, gleaming and gem-speckled as they are.
You free your hand from his, reach up instead to knead shampoo into his thick hair. He responds with a sigh and sinks somehow further against you, the water falling slowly to a more lukewarm temperature. You're not sure how long the two of you have been in here, talking quietly about very little, exchanging words that'll disappear forever with the water. But you really can't find it in you to care.
There's work to be done, errands to run. Errands that should've been run a week ago. This ceremony, this meditation makes all of it null. For where else would you want to be? Where else exists besides here, this room, this moment, static in the cooling water with the embodiment of perfection.
When you tell it to him, as you so often do, when you tell him that he's perfect, he can't believe you. The first time you ever said it, peering into his eyes as if they held some secret treasure within, he thought you were joking. He'd laughed, more out of obligation than actual humour, but your expression remained still. Sincere. To say he was moved would be a wildly inadequate explanation. What he felt in his chest that night was something otherworldly, something without a name. He's come now to associate it simply with yours.
You run water through his hair, rinse out the shampoo as he lies pliant in your hands. He insists you use your soaps in his hair, some floral-scented collection you've used for who knows how long, because the smell reminds him of you.
There's no point in overthinking it, you suppose. No point in trying to map out and organise moods, emotions. No point in trying to turn a gentle human experience into something clinical, something without humanity.
That swirling, omnipresent yet transient concept of humanity. You simply must cradle it within your own. You press your lips into his wet hair, whisper words made of ginger and lavender into his ear. Because at the end of the day, you're human. You're in love. And sometimes, that's all that matters.
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Part 3 of if Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lived together
Part 1 Part 2
-
Mission debrief:
Thor: Don't feel bad Banner, I mean is there anyone at this table who hasn't killed somebody?
Peter: *slowly raises hand*
Natasha: Don't worry you're still young
Peter: 😟
-
Steve: Has anyone seen my shield?
Clint: *points outside*
*Peter, Thor, and Bucky playing frisbee with it*
Steve: I guess I'm not saving those orphans today :/
-
Clint: Tony I said seedless watermelon, are you trying to kill me?
Tony: You're a big boy, you aren't gonna choke
Clint: No but it might... grow
Tony: Oh please don't tell me you still think watermelon seeds grow inside your stomach if you swallow them
Clint:
Pietro: Bro got a licence to kill but still has a Jack and the Beanstock level of education
-
2:34 am
Tony: *leaving Steve's bedroom*
Sam: *leaving Bucky's bedroom*
Tony:
Sam:
Tony: Let's never speak of this?
Sam: Yep.
-
Steve: Tony, you're the smartest person I know. You understand anything you set out to study, your passion is remarkable, innovation beyond anyone on the planet, and an incredible memory
Tony: Thank you thank you
Steve: So why do you STILL NOT CLOSE THE KITCHEN CABINETS
Tony: Uh
Steve: SOME OF US ARE TALL TONY. SOME OF US HAVE BRUISES ON THEIR FOREHEADS BECAUSE OF THIS NEGLIGENCE
-
Tony: Goodnight kid *tucks Peter into bed and kisses his forehead*
*Clint, Vision, Thor, and Dum-E waiting outside the room*
Tony: Oh come on. All of you?
*nodding*
Tony: Vision you don't even sleep. Dum-E I am not kissing you again you gave me chemical burns last time
Dum-E: *lowers head and whirs sadly*
-
Bucky: Don't sit so close to me
Sam: Why, cause I'm black 🤨
Bucky: No because you smell like ass sweat
Sam:
Sam: Why, cause I'm bl-
-
During training:
Natasha: *flips Steve and slams him onto his back*
Peter: Woah! I wanna know how to do that
Natasha: *flips Peter and slams him onto his back*
Natasha: Seems like you already know how
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Tony: Okay Merida, you and me, darts for a hundred bucks. My suit vs. your freak self
Clint: I'll take that bet
*7 minutes later*
Tony: I have advanced AI targetting technology. SUPER. SUIT. How did I lose?!
Clint: It can do a lot of things Tony but at the end of the day it can't super suck this di-
-
Bucky: Sam's in medical so I'll do the mission debrief with you
Natasha: That was fast, I thought you'd still be coddling your boyfriend the rest of the day
Bucky: What. How do you know about us.
Natasha: I don't, it was a joke...
Bucky:
Natasha:
Bucky: Damn you really are good at interrogation
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Bruce: I've taken up puzzles as a hobby. It's actually really relaxing
*Box is missing the last piece*
Bruce: *sighs, erases the 61 under the 'Days Without Hulk Incident' sign*
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Natasha: Kings
Bucky: Go fish. Sevens?
Natasha: Nada. Fives?
Bucky: Shit. Here
Sam: I thought y'all were playing poker, are you for real playing Go Fish?
Natasha: Our pockets got cleaned out so we quit. The poker game is over by Steve
Peter: HAHA SUCK IT OLD MAN, AMERICA JUST WENT BANKRUPT *pulls giant pile of animal crackers to himself*
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Steve: Do you want to play catch?
Wanda: What?
Steve: Um. Do you want to watch Hannah Montana?
Wanda: I don't even know what you're talking about
Steve: Maybe I could show you how to brush your teeth?
Wanda: Steve you're really scaring me
Steve: The article said to do it together! *shows phone*
Wanda: Are you getting parenting advice from wikihow? Did you even read it or were you just skimming the pictures
Steve: ...Well why'd they put toothbrushing in the photo if it wasn't a good bonding activity?
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Sam: Why are your titties so bouncy man. Is it to deflect bullets?
Steve: What did you just say about my chest...
Sam: Hey I call em as I see em, and they're staring right at me.
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Peter: Yo Mr. Stark wanna see a backflip?
Peter: Oh Cap come see my front handsprings
Peter: Natasha watch this aerial cartwheel!
Tony: Why did you tell him you were in the circus. Now that the idea's in his head all he does is jump around and cause noise complaints from downstairs
Clint: C'mon it's cute! He's talented
Bucky: I'm gonna tell him it doesn't count because he has superpowers and that he's a cheat
Tony: But that'll ruin his confidence
Bucky: God I hope so
#incorrect marvel quotes#incorrect mcu quotes#irondad and spiderson#marvel mcu#marvel#incorrect marvel#incorrect quotes#irondad#mcu#peter parker#tony stark#steve rogers#natasha romanoff#bucky barnes#sam wilson#clint barton#thor#bruce banner#wanda maximoff#pietro maximoff#avengers#domestic avengers#the avengers#marvel incorrect quotes#sambucky#stony#stevetony#thor odinson
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tagged by @poltergeistings
shuffle your “on repeat” playlist and list the first ten songs, then tag ten people.
Swallow - Teenage Wrist
And now rise and now repeat "We deserve everything we own" The long road to transience The tightrope between our bones
2. Cherub - Ball Park Music
Happiness weighs a tonne It's all speckled in luck and heavy as fuck I never could pick it up
3. Day By Day - Acoustic - Old Sea Brigade
Hold me up again or I can count on the wall Just a temporary panic that I can't seem to beat Stranger in the mirror, his smile makes me shiver He wears my features and grinds my teeth
4. Your Dog - Soccer Mommy
'Cause I don't wanna be your baby girl That you show off to the world When you decide you wanna feel Like you're living something real
5. Homesick - Noah Kahan
Timе moves so damn slow I swear I feel my organs failing I stopped caring 'bout a month ago Sincе then it's been smooth sailing
6. Laika - Boston Manor
And now we’re moving out So pack your clothes, your books, your doubt And bring that piece of paper That I gave you back when you were all alone
7. Lord It's A Feeling - London Grammar
I saw the way you made her feel Like she should be somebody else I know you think the stars align for you And not for her as well
8. State Lines - Novo Amor
Was it all any more faded after all? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know Are you sure? Did you call? Did we ever really talk? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
9. Shlut - Shygirl
I can't deal with the thought of you leavin' me Left staring at the ceiling solo I do better with you on my team and Stay the night, we can lay low
10. Brand New City - Mitski
But if I gave up on being pretty, I wouldn't know how to be alive I should move to a brand new city and teach myself how to die
Tagging all my followers who want to do this! The Spotify things and lyrics aren't part of the tag game, it should just be a list but I'm overdoing it here
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Google’s enshittification memos
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5cfc3a7bf39d1eec6bd15c583960b151/d31b05546da6bf72-db/s540x810/d0238dec6b16de0de4acdfd601544d22011886dd.jpg)
[Note, 9 October 2023: Google disputes the veracity of this claim, but has declined to provide the exhibits and testimony to support its claims. Read more about this here.]
When I think about how the old, good internet turned into the enshitternet, I imagine a series of small compromises, each seemingly reasonable at the time, each contributing to a cultural norm of making good things worse, and worse, and worse.
Think about Unity President Marc Whitten's nonpology for his company's disastrous rug-pull, in which they declared that everyone who had paid good money to use their tool to make a game would have to keep paying, every time someone downloaded that game:
The most fundamental thing that we’re trying to do is we’re building a sustainable business for Unity. And for us, that means that we do need to have a model that includes some sort of balancing change, including shared success.
https://www.wired.com/story/unity-walks-back-policies-lost-trust/
"Shared success" is code for, "If you use our tool to make money, we should make money too." This is bullshit. It's like saying, "We just want to find a way to share the success of the painters who use our brushes, so every time you sell a painting, we want to tax that sale." Or "Every time you sell a house, the company that made the hammer gets to wet its beak."
And note that they're not talking about shared risk here – no one at Unity is saying, "If you try to make a game with our tools and you lose a million bucks, we're on the hook for ten percent of your losses." This isn't partnership, it's extortion.
How did a company like Unity – which became a market leader by making a tool that understood the needs of game developers and filled them – turn into a protection racket? One bad decision at a time. One rationalization and then another. Slowly, and then all at once.
When I think about this enshittification curve, I often think of Google, a company that had its users' backs for years, which created a genuinely innovative search engine that worked so well it seemed like *magic, a company whose employees often had their pick of jobs, but chose the "don't be evil" gig because that mattered to them.
People make fun of that "don't be evil" motto, but if your key employees took the gig because they didn't want to be evil, and then you ask them to be evil, they might just quit. Hell, they might make a stink on the way out the door, too:
https://theintercept.com/2018/09/13/google-china-search-engine-employee-resigns/
Google is a company whose founders started out by publishing a scientific paper describing their search methodology, in which they said, "Oh, and by the way, ads will inevitably turn your search engine into a pile of shit, so we're gonna stay the fuck away from them":
http://infolab.stanford.edu/pub/papers/google.pdf
Those same founders retained a controlling interest in the company after it went IPO, explaining to investors that they were going to run the business without having their elbows jostled by shortsighted Wall Street assholes, so they could keep it from turning into a pile of shit:
https://abc.xyz/investor/founders-letters/ipo-letter/
And yet, it's turned into a pile of shit. Google search is so bad you might as well ask Jeeves. The company's big plan to fix it? Replace links to webpages with florid paragraphs of chatbot nonsense filled with a supremely confident lies:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/14/googles-ai-hype-circle/
How did the company get this bad? In part, this is the "curse of bigness." The company can't grow by attracting new users. When you have 90%+ of the market, there are no new customers to sign up. Hypothetically, they could grow by going into new lines of business, but Google is incapable of making a successful product in-house and also kills most of the products it buys from other, more innovative companies:
https://killedbygoogle.com/
Theoretically, the company could pursue new lines of business in-house, and indeed, the current leaders of companies like Amazon, Microsoft and Apple are all execs who figured out how to get the whole company to do something new, and were elevated to the CEO's office, making each one a billionaire and sealing their place in history.
It is for this very reason that any exec at a large firm who tries to make a business-wide improvement gets immediately and repeatedly knifed by all their colleagues, who correctly reason that if someone else becomes CEO, then they won't become CEO. Machiavelli was an optimist:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/
With no growth from new customers, and no growth from new businesses, "growth" has to come from squeezing workers (say, laying off 12,000 engineers after a stock buyback that would have paid their salaries for the next 27 years), or business customers (say, by colluding with Facebook to rig the ad market with the Jedi Blue conspiracy), or end-users.
Now, in theory, we might never know exactly what led to the enshittification of Google. In theory, all of compromises, debates and plots could be lost to history. But tech is not an oral culture, it's a written one, and techies write everything down and nothing is ever truly deleted.
Time and again, Big Tech tells on itself. Think of FTX's main conspirators all hanging out in a group chat called "Wirefraud." Amazon naming its program targeting weak, small publishers the "Gazelle Project" ("approach these small publishers the way a cheetah would pursue a sickly gazelle”). Amazon documenting the fact that users were unknowingly signing up for Prime and getting pissed; then figuring out how to reduce accidental signups, then deciding not to do it because it liked the money too much. Think of Zuck emailing his CFO in the middle of the night to defend his outsized offer to buy Instagram on the basis that users like Insta better and Facebook couldn't compete with them on quality.
It's like every Big Tech schemer has a folder on their desktop called "Mens Rea" filled with files like "Copy_of_Premeditated_Murder.docx":
https://doctorow.medium.com/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself-f7f0eb6d215a?sk=351f8a54ab8e02d7340620e5eec5024d
Right now, Google's on trial for its sins against antitrust law. It's a hard case to make. To secure a win, the prosecutors at the DoJ Antitrust Division are going to have to prove what was going on in Google execs' minds when the took the actions that led to the company's dominance. They're going to have to show that the company deliberately undertook to harm its users and customers.
Of course, it helps that Google put it all in writing.
Last week, there was a huge kerfuffile over the DoJ's practice of posting its exhibits from the trial to a website each night. This is a totally normal thing to do – a practice that dates back to the Microsoft antitrust trial. But Google pitched a tantrum over this and said that the docs the DoJ were posting would be turned into "clickbait." Which is another way of saying, "the public would find these documents very interesting, and they would be damning to us and our case":
https://www.bigtechontrial.com/p/secrecy-is-systemic
After initially deferring to Google, Judge Amit Mehta finally gave the Justice Department the greenlight to post the document. It's up. It's wild:
https://www.justice.gov/d9/2023-09/416692.pdf
The document is described as "notes for a course on communication" that Google VP for Finance Michael Roszak prepared. Roszak says he can't remember whether he ever gave the presentation, but insists that the remit for the course required him to tell students "things I didn't believe," and that's why the document is "full of hyperbole and exaggeration."
OK.
But here's what the document says: "search advertising is one of the world's greatest business models ever created…illicit businesses (cigarettes or drugs) could rival these economics…[W]e can mostly ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers, ad formats and sales."
It goes on to say that this might be changing, and proposes a way to balance the interests of the search and ads teams, which are at odds, with search worrying that ads are pushing them to produce "unnatural search experiences to chase revenue."
"Unnatural search experiences to chase revenue" is a thinly veiled euphemism for the prophetic warnings in that 1998 Pagerank paper: "The goals of the advertising business model do not always correspond to providing quality search to users." Or, more plainly, "ads will turn our search engine into a pile of shit."
And, as Roszak writes, Google is "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand." That is, the company has become so dominant and cemented its position so thoroughly as the default search engine across every platforms and system that even if it makes its search terrible to goose revenues, users won't leave. As Lily Tomlin put it on SNL: "We don't have to care, we're the phone company."
In the enshittification cycle, companies first lure in users with surpluses – like providing the best search results rather than the most profitable ones – with an eye to locking them in. In Google's case, that lock-in has multiple facets, but the big one is spending billions of dollars – enough to buy a whole Twitter, every single year – to be the default search everywhere.
Google doesn't buy its way to dominance because it has the very best search results and it wants to shield you from inferior competitors. The economically rational case for buying default position is that preventing competition is more profitable than succeeding by outperforming competitors. The best reason to buy the default everywhere is that it lets you lower quality without losing business. You can "ignore the demand side, and only focus on advertisers."
For a lot of people, the analysis stops here. "If you're not paying for the product, you're the product." Google locks in users and sells them to advertisers, who are their co-conspirators in a scheme to screw the rest of us.
But that's not right. For one thing, paying for a product doesn't mean you won't be the product. Apple charges a thousand bucks for an iPhone and then nonconsensually spies on every iOS user in order to target ads to them (and lies about it):
https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar
John Deere charges six figures for its tractors, then runs a grift that blocks farmers from fixing their own machines, and then uses their control over repair to silence farmers who complain about it:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/31/dealers-choice/#be-a-shame-if-something-were-to-happen-to-it
Fair treatment from a corporation isn't a loyalty program that you earn by through sufficient spending. Companies that can sell you out, will sell you out, and then cry victim, insisting that they were only doing their fiduciary duty for their sacred shareholders. Companies are disciplined by fear of competition, regulation or – in the case of tech platforms – customers seizing the means of computation and installing ad-blockers, alternative clients, multiprotocol readers, etc:
https://doctorow.medium.com/an-audacious-plan-to-halt-the-internets-enshittification-and-throw-it-into-reverse-3cc01e7e4604?sk=85b3f5f7d051804521c3411711f0b554
Which is where the next stage of enshittification comes in: when the platform withdraws the surplus it had allocated to lure in – and then lock in – business customers (like advertisers) and reallocate it to the platform's shareholders.
For Google, there are several rackets that let it screw over advertisers as well as searchers (the advertisers are paying for the product, and they're also the product). Some of those rackets are well-known, like Jedi Blue, the market-rigging conspiracy that Google and Facebook colluded on:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_Blue
But thanks to the antitrust trial, we're learning about more of these. Megan Gray – ex-FTC, ex-DuckDuckGo – was in the courtroom last week when evidence was presented on Google execs' panic over a decline in "ad generating searches" and the sleazy gimmick they came up with to address it: manipulating the "semantic matching" on user queries:
https://www.wired.com/story/google-antitrust-lawsuit-search-results/
When you send a query to Google, it expands that query with terms that are similar – for example, if you search on "Weds" it might also search for "Wednesday." In the slides shown in the Google trial, we learned about another kind of semantic matching that Google performed, this one intended to turn your search results into "a twisted shopping mall you can’t escape."
Here's how that worked: when you ran a query like "children's clothing," Google secretly appended the brand name of a kids' clothing manufacturer to the query. This, in turn, triggered a ton of ads – because rival brands will have bought ads against their competitors' name (like Pepsi buying ads that are shown over queries for Coke).
Here we see surpluses being taken away from both end-users and business customers – that is, searchers and advertisers. For searchers, it doesn't matter how much you refine your query, you're still going to get crummy search results because there's an unkillable, hidden search term stuck to your query, like a piece of shit that Google keeps sticking to the sole of your shoe.
But for advertisers, this is also a scam. They're paying to be matched to users who search on a brand name, and you didn't search on that brand name. It's especially bad for the company whose name has been appended to your search, because Google has a protection racket where the company that matches your search has to pay extra in order to show up overtop of rivals who are worse matches. Both the matching company and those rivals have given Google a credit-card that Google gets to bill every time a user searches on the company's name, and Google is just running fraudulent charges through those cards.
And, of course, Google put this in writing. I mean, of course they did. As we learned from the documentary The Incredibles, supervillains can't stop themselves from monologuing, and in big, sprawling monopolists, these monologues have to transmitted electronically – and often indelibly – to far-flung co-cabalists.
As Gray points out, this is an incredibly blunt enshittification technique: "it hadn’t even occurred to me that Google just flat out deletes queries and replaces them with ones that monetize better." We don't know how long Google did this for or how frequently this bait-and-switch was deployed.
But if this is a blunt way of Google smashing its fist down on the scales that balance search quality against ad revenues, there's plenty of subtler ways the company could sneak a thumb on there. A Google exec at the trial rhapsodized about his company's "contract with the user" to deliver an "honest results policy," but given how bad Google search is these days, we're left to either believe he's lying or that Google sucks at search.
The paper trail offers a tantalizing look at how a company went from doing something that was so good it felt like a magic trick to being "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand," able to "ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers."
What's more, this is a system where everyone loses (except for Google): this isn't a grift run by Google and advertisers on users – it's a grift Google runs on everyone.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/03/not-feeling-lucky/#fundamental-laws-of-economics
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My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!
#pluralistic#enshittification#semantic matching#google#antitrust#trustbusting#transparency#fatfingers#serp#the algorithm#telling on yourself
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