#gale. gale the man that you are. <3 hes my everything. hes literally me. even psychological problems aside like.

[junietuesday]

see i SAY “oh hes just like me fr” abt fictional characters but thats more like i share one or Maybe two particular neuroses w that character and i extrapolate a bunch of my other emotional issues onto them as well building off that one shared trait. but w gale of waterdeep dekarios hes like ACTUALLY like me for real. his entire self worth has been built on his academic/intellectual ability and so he hypes up that skill in himself and jumps to prove his talent at every opportunity bc hes only worthy of love if hes Good at being smart and Useful for his brain, if hes not a genius then whats the point of his existence. he has a massive ego bc he does know he is actually really good at this one thing and part of it really just is arrogance, but at the same time, that need to be better than everyone else also stems from the fact that he struggles to connect w his peers, so if he doesnt know how to form real relationships, it doesnt matter anyway bc hes Above them, better that they dislike him for his best trait than avoid him bc theres just something different and wrong abt him. hes so starved for love that he threw himself at the feet of the goddess who acknowledged his skill and went above and beyond just to get a sliver of acknowledgement from her, and when she cast him aside for his big expression of devotion, he locked himself away in his tower for a whole year and was just going to lie down and let himself blow up. unless the player pushes him out of it he’d still die for her, and for the world, he’d kill himself if it meant being useful to and accepted by someone, anyone. even if it was the last thing he did.

[most-datable-datable-bracket]

QUARTER-FINALS MATCH 1

Grim propaganda:

“He's so babygirl coded, and also a husband material and he has a very pretty room. Also he's very very cute when you make fun of him and he doesn't know how to type and I think that's just so cute”

“The edgy grim reaper who wants to reap your soul but also gets incredibly flustered when you point out that he isn't using capitalization in messages correctly”

"grim literally travels all the way from the underworld to your home to give you flowers just because you offhandedly say youd like some

he's googling how to date once he realizes he has feelings for you (which is just endearing to me personally)

hes willing to throw away his responsibilities as a grim reaper if it means he can be with you....

and even if he can be grumpy, in the end he'll always make sure to be clear about his feelings for you

GUYS...im gonna pass out."

Gale propaganda:

“He is my cringe malewife I love him <3”

“Listen. Some may dunk on him for eating all of your magic artifacts (he only eats three!!) and others may dislike him for various bugs in his romance. But man oh man does this guy take devotion to the next level. He is such a romantic. Says the line "Whether I condemn this world or not, I choose you." after you successfully convince him to disobey his goddess who is also his ex girlfriend. He's a bit hungry for power, but in like, a sexy way, where he wants to get it to elevate you both to Godhood. And if you tell him that you want him for the man he is and not the God he aspires to be, he abandons that search for power and proposes. You can have wizard sex with him in the sky. His "rebellious streak" consists of staying up late reading and summoning a cat when his parents told him he couldn't have one, and also the aforementioned pursuit of godlike powers. What an absolute catch. He's always saying dramatic stuff in battle, but if you have him sneak around, he starts complaining like a grumpy old man. He's extra attracted to you when you're in battle. He has a bomb in his chest. And it is a very nice chest. Anyway. Boyfriend material.”

“This man is so sweet and idealistic. He wants everything about your romance to go perfectly like a fairy tale but that isn't really possible in apocalyptic settings, so he will use magic to help you forget  your surroundings when trying to be intimate to get as close as he can to perfect because he wants you to have the best. He is also attracted to literally all of your character and gets really turned on when you are musky and covered in blood after a battle. Just love my nerdy awkward horny romantic wizard.”

[johnslittlespoon]

Gale finds John sitting on the steps of the back porch, elbows resting on his knees, head lifted to the sky, ever reminiscent of ‘45 when looking north was the only reprieve from chain link and barbed wire.

He shuts the cabin door quietly behind him before he follows John’s gaze, and then he sucks in a sharp breath, hand frozen on the porch railing.

The night sky is alive, rippling in brilliant luminescence, slow waves like sun rays filtering through cracked glass across the vast open space.

“Wow,” Gale whispers, lowering his hand to his side.

John’s eyes glimmer when he turns to look at him, refractions of emerald and indigo and magenta dancing across his irises. It feels like another lifetime that Gale watched similar hues paint his face while they huddled behind brick walls and peeked out at the bombs as they coloured the land– he can hardly reconcile the boys they were three years prior with the men they are now.

“I was gonna come wake you,” John murmurs as he turns his attention back to the light show, scratching at the collar of his shirt. “Just hard to look away, y’know?”

Gale does know, gaze jumping between neon shards and dark, sleep–mussed curls, unsure which he’s more keen to settle his eyes upon. He moves forward instead of deciding, sitting down on the step next to John, inhaling the familiar smokey scent carrying on the breeze from the cigarette that dangles from John’s right hand.

“You ever seen ‘em before?” Gale asks as he stares up at the vibrant patterns, pressing close to John to soothe the night’s chill.

“Never seen anything like it,” John says, quiet, plumes of smoke spilling from his lips, reaching up in a futile effort to join the holographic flares. “You?”

Yes. I've seen you.

“No,” Gale shakes his head, picking a ribbon of maroon to fix his eyes on. “Never thought I’d get the chance to.”

There are a lot of things Gale hadn’t thought he’d get the chance to experience, back when home felt like a universe away, and iron gates felt like a life sentence. Yet he still can’t help but yearn for something else, and though what he aches for should feel small under the atmospheric anomaly, the lights dim in comparison to the radiance of the man at his side.

He thinks the colours are even prettier when he glances to the side to watch them glide across the angular planes of John’s face, chest fuzzy at the look of pure boyish wonder that seems to smooth out the divots and lines and marks made by time.

He wants to tell him everything. Somehow that thought is almost scarier than all else he’s endured.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

not sure if this is/will be anything, but i had to get my feelings out in writing after seeing the northern lights last night. literally cried like a baby while sitting on the top of a mountain alone watching them– it's been my dream since i was a kid, and i never thought i'd see them so young, or at all, really. a part of me feels a little healed and i'm still in awe. <3 then i got to thinking about john and gale buying and fixing up a small cabin together out on the edge of lake michigan, a sanctuary in the forest, a place to hide away from the world after the war ends. healing as friends, but the feelings never go away, and some rare pining gale. a love confession during a once in a lifetime event, etc. perhaps will turn it into a oneshot at some point, but for now here's a little drabble to make up for inactivity. x

[stars-and-inkpots]

Greetings, I'm hoping you're having a great day and or night😊 I love your writing, you're talented! If your requests are still open, can I request Tav (female please) being insecure that she doesn't live up to Gales standards because he was with Mystra? Tav just tells him "I'm in love with you, but I'm nothing. I'm no Goddess" I love my romance with some angst🥲❤️

I finally have a little time this week to write!! I loved this request, thank you so much. I actually had two versions of this planned out, one where you aren't yet together (this one), and another set in post game when the two of you are together in Waterdeep (I might finish this version and post it at some point too) ANYWAY, I hope you enjoy!

With You | Gale x Reader

You were nothing when compared to a god, and Gale certainly wasn’t blind to that. 

So you keep yourself at a distance. You convince yourself that this is for the best. 

Of course, Gale notices.

Pairing: Gale/Reader

Tags: Love confessions, hurt/comfort, fluff and angst, first kiss, comfort, self-esteem issues, low self-worth issues

Ao3 Link: Baldur's Gate 3 Requests

Word Count: 1,037

Realising you had developed feelings for Gale was a complicated discovery on its own. Knowing that Gale’s previous partner had been none other than a literal goddess complicated it even further. 

The two of you had grown close, and both of you would be fools to not admit that there was something between the two of you. But you hesitated everytime the opportunity to take things any further than friendship arose. Not because you didn’t want to, no; Gods, you wanted to so badly. But it was exactly because of Mystra that you hesitated. 

Gale had been with a goddess before. A goddess. And you were just… well, you were just you. You were mortal, and you could never hope to possibly compare to the divine. And what if he was just settling for you? Was he simply lowering his standards? What if Mystra, for whatever reason, decided to return to her affections for Gale? Would he, despite everything that She had done, go back to Her? You were nothing when compared to a god, and Gale certainly wasn’t blind to that. 

So you keep yourself at a distance. You convince yourself that this is for the best. 

Of course, Gale notices. 

Not immediately at first, but after a few days of you barely speaking to him, he can’t help but worry he’s done something wrong. There are no more late night talks by the fire; no walking just a little too close to be simply friendly during the day; no stolen glances. Nothing. Where there was once undeniably something, there is nothing. He curses himself for not saying anything sooner, for hesitating. 

At first, he wants to assume it’s because you suddenly realised that he’s dangerous, that he’s volatile. Then he worries that you’ve realised he’s just not as impressive as you thought he was. Maybe his skill no longer impresses you, and if he doesn’t have that then what else is there? The thought that you look at him and see only what he thinks he is, a pathetic shadow of a man who once was. 

Maybe it’s desperate on his end, but he’s not willing to just let this go. As much as he’s ready to wallow in self-pity, he needs to know. He can change, if that’s what you want. 

---

“I want to talk to you, if you have a moment,” Gale says before you can duck into your tent for the night. 

“Alright,” you relent. “Let’s go for a walk then.” You lead the two of you out of camp, and Gale follows beside you. You can’t shake the anxious feeling that only grows with the silence between you two. Once you’re far enough away, Gale speaks up. 

“I’m going to be perfectly transparent here; and if I’ve misread anything, do stop me before I embarrass myself too much.” Gale takes a breath, as if he’s already waiting for you to object. When you remain silent, he continues. “You mean a great deal to me, and I care about you a lot. In all honesty, I have feelings for you, very strong feelings. Now, a few days ago I had thought that you returned and shared my affections. But you’ve been quite different with me as of late. I know I am not owed an explanation or an answer, but I will still ask for one all the same.” 

You freeze. Even though you knew this conversation would come eventually, you don’t know what to say. He’s here. He’s here and he just admitted that he felt the same way as you did, and yet you can’t bring yourself to answer. 

“I just want to know if it was something I did. Did something change? As I said, you don’t have to answer, of course, I just… what happened to make you change your mind?” You can hear the nervous self-consciousness in his words, but it confuses you. How could he ever think it was something that he did when he had been with a goddess? How could he want you? 

“No, nothing changed. It was nothing that you did. I promise.” You sit down, and Gale follows, sitting beside you. 

“Then why have you been so cold with me? It isn’t fair to tell me I did nothing wrong when you go from spending so much time with me to barely even looking at me, let alone speaking to me.” He sounds frustrated, and you don’t exactly blame him. It was cruel of you to treat him so differently without an explanation. 

“I’m sorry.” You finally bring yourself to look over at him. Even through his slight annoyance with your behaviour, there is hurt. “You deserve better than me,” you say finally. You watch his expression change to one of confusion. “You shouldn’t lower your standards for me.” 

“What?” For once, you seem to have rendered him nearly speechless. 

“Gale, I’m in love with you, but I’m nothing. I’m no goddess.” 

A sudden understanding crosses his face. 

“Yes, you are. You most certainly are.” He takes your hand in his. “And you are more than I deserve, I assure you. If you truly wish to remain no more than friends, then so be it; but if those worries were all that were holding you back, I assure you you need not entertain them any further.” Every word sounds so completely genuine. 

“Are you sure?” You ask, despite yourself. 

“Completely.” He lifts your hand and presses a kiss to your knuckles. The act and the way he looks at you is enough to push your worries aside for now. You can tell he means everything he says. 

“Can I kiss you?” You ask, in a rush of newfound confidence. 

“I would like nothing more.” 

The hand not holding yours rests against your face, thumb brushing along your cheek. You brush your fingers through his hair, and you feel him shiver. It’s a soft kiss, the beginning of things. When you part he rests his forehead against yours and both of you are smiling. 

The walk back to camp is quiet, but comfortable. Gale doesn’t let go of your hand until you kiss once more and retire for the night to your tents.

[blkgirl-writing]

hey i’m a bit embarrassed because this is the first i’ve ever asked for something like this, but in terms of bg3 fic i think dwarven tavs are super under represented lmao i’d love to see something written for an afab dwarven tav, a lady who is short and stocky and strong!!!! i’m a gale enthusiast but honestly any ideas you may have of like, how the different companions accommodate the difference in body type would be cool :)

you’re work is phenomenal btw!!

Do NOT be embarrassed, anon! This is a beautiful ask and i'm more than happy to make these. I'm sorry they're shorter, I'm more than happy to expand later I'm just out of brain power and have 200+ requests atm!

Fem!Dwarven reader x Baldurs Gate 3 Companions

Astarion

Astarion fucks and he knows how to handle anyone of any shape, size, race, and much more

so he's not phased and treats you no differently, really. And in a way it's nice to not get any special special treatment, though how experienced he is, everything seems like special treatment

I also think dwarves value strength over looks and because of that Astarion wouldn't feel the pressure to seduce as much as normal

Shadowheart

I think shadowheart has a little bit of a bias sometimes, like something or someone she sees as weak may not get her full attention, so some may think she'd e a bit...racist, but NO, she knows how hard dwarves work and how fierce they are in battle and immediately knows she's in safe hands

She may ask a few questions about your history on the battlefield if you have any, power is definitely a huge turn on for her so

to kiss she would get down on your level by kneeling down

Gale

Gale just wants love and sex tbh he'd be unphased and probably into dwarves

I mean he is a wizard who fucks and reads books on fucking in his spare time, are those books really only going to be focused on humans and stuff? nah those books go deep into anatomy on all races

We but he's also just a sweetie and would love to be the big spoon and have room to share his bedroll with you, etc

Wyll

Being the prince charming he is, you're his pretty little princess and will pamper you as much as possible

he doesn't see you as anything but the strongest woman in the world that he also wants to make everything easier for

my mans will go out of the way to be your biggest advocate

he will NOT take slander or racism towards you as a dwarf, even though you could handle it yourself, he just wants you to feel protected, even if really, you protect him more than anything

Karlach

I'll be real karlach will toss you a lot

one time she literally just carried you on her right shoulder for like three hours because your feet got sore, it was wild, you kinda just stayed there because how long could she actually carry you? the answer was forever, but you got sore from sitting for too long so you asked her to put you down

she was kinda disappointed

"awe, we were having so much fun you and i!"

I feel like she'd also pick you up and twirl you around when she's super super happy

(Consider supporting me on Ko-fi)

Tag list, tell me if you want to be added!

@shyminnie07 @makers-breath @claryvoyantfray @black-sapphic

[vespaer77]

I'd like to tell you a story...

... about my first Tav, Shayla Moonsong.

She is a Zariel tiefling, and a College of Lore Bard, and while she wasn't my first Tav, she was the first one to finish the game. I had romanced Lae'zel, Shadowheart, and Astarion in early access, so I focused on her because I was anxious to try a new romance, Halsin. However, because she was created just after full release, her save file was horrifically bugged. I got the cut scenes for Halsin that allowed me to progress his companion quest and cure Moonhaven of the shadow curse, but after that I could get no further dialogue from him at all, even in camp. I was playing with a party limit mod by the time he joined my party, so I never needed to worry about dismissing him from my party, but I did occasionally have difficulty with him following the party. I had to run around controlling him a lot. The only scene I ever got with him once he joined me was specifically his sex scene, after I did the love test at the circus in Act 3. I knew literally nothing about him, lol, so I had to google the answers.

But that was the thing. I knew… nothing about this guy. He was just some hot elf my bard boned, I had zero investment in him other than that. And it became a head canon for me about her - she was a typical bard, slutting her way to the Gate. She slept with the Emperor, she had a foursome with the drow twins and Halsin, and she absolutely played Haarlep's game to get his pass code. And while I'd wished, at the time, I could have had the additional enrichment of a poignant, heartfelt romance, I did enjoy exploring a character that was more free with her sexuality. As a result, though, I'd ended up "saving myself" for Halsin, because I knew his romance would (or in my case should but didn't) open up very late in the game. And I'd shot down all of the other companions fairly quickly.

Including Gale.

Especially Gale.

He was still bugged at the time, and his… overly amorous nature, lol, was widely known to anyone who'd spent more than ten minutes on the internet. So I ignored a lot of opportunities to know him better. And at the time, he was honestly my least favorite character. Particularly because I truly didn't enjoy him in early access. I genuinely found him offputting and way too over the top, and subsequently much of his narrative flew straight over my head.

Like a Boeing 777.

But let's be honest. Because of the nature of his story, and the way he seems to compartmentalize his trauma as devotion, and because of the mask of charm and confidence he wears to convince your character of his usefulness, and the way he tempers his emotions so he doesn't upset the orb, all of these things… the complexity of his narrative is super duper subtle. Or at least to me it was. I was the complete dumb dumb that didn't pick it up from context like we were supposed to.

Until I played my bard, Shayla. The first one to get through Act 3.

I had saved the culmination of Gale's quest in Sorcerous Sundries til nearly the end. Just before all the stuff with the foundry and Gortash. At the time, he was still a checklist item, a box to mark off on my road to the final boss.

So I went into it feeling like this man was probably pretty fed up with me, lol. And then he read the Annals of Karsus and I realized right then just how much I'd taken this character for granted. Because everything about him, his entire personality, shifted right there, and he became… someone else. And everyone else in my party noticed it too. The choice of responses I was given was crafted in a way that made me feel like the writers very much wanted me to notice a change had taken place within Gale. And then I picked a response that was honestly a touch unkind. I don't remember what I said to him, but…

He yelled at me.

"She left me to die!" he said. I remember that part.

And when the camera panned back to me and the party, we were all wide eyed and reared away from him in shock and disbelief that this charming, confident, gregarious, and benign creature was suddenly so… dark. And it was at that moment that a light switch was flipped. The missing puzzle piece was found and snapped into place. Suddenly I understood everything I'd missed up to that point, and it was more than just an "ah hah!" moment. It was an, "Oh my god…" moment. He hadn't become someone else.

We were seeing who he truly was for the first time.

His mask had slipped. Cracked beneath strain. He'd been pushed to a breaking point.

Naturally, because he's Gale, he recovered quickly. But it was too late. I saw him. And then two things happened. I fell in love with him. Instantly. But then I also realized the game was almost over. His romance opportunity had come and gone, there wouldn't be a "confess your love at the last minute" option. And of course his fate at the end of the game was not so kind to my bard either.

I've had big feelings about it ever since.

And then the Hugs mod came out, which only served to further poke my great big ouchy feelings.

I've lived in head canon land for a while now when it comes to Shayla Moonsong. In my head canon, he did end up taking her advice, he did pick an outcome that didn't involve using the Crown of Karsus or the Karsite Orb, and in no way did he become a pulverized cloud of stardust. He ended the game living peacefully in Waterdeep, giving Tara belly rubs and ushering in the next generation of wizards without grooming them for a lifetime of suffering.

But that leaves Shayla herself and her big, unresolved feelings. Feelings that were never processed or acknowledged, as the time was never right between her relationship status with Halsin and the fate of the world resting on her shoulders.

So, what is a bard to do when she falls in love, but it's too late?

Nothing small, that's for sure. And it will probably involve singing.

(I'm planning on maybe two to three chapters for this story, in which she very much makes things worse before they get better, lol. She's still learning. But it's definitely gonna end with some light cunnilingus and good, heavy railing either on a kitchen counter or against a bookshelf. I haven't decided yet. I do hope, if you do decide to read this humble beginning, that you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. And also please excuse my ill attempts at self-effacing meta humor.)

Pairing: Gale / named fem!Tav bard Rating: Smut is imminent (once we get through the foreplay… er, mutual pining) Word count: 4790

Read the story HERE or under the cut

Chapter One: The Wizard, The Real One

"Is there a loan shark in the audience or something?" Jory asked.

"Hmm?" Nelsyn replied, but she didn't look up from her lines. He supposed that was fair. She was busy letting Sara fix the adhesive on the curly teal wig that sat between her horns, and Jory knew as well as anyone on cast that nothing good came from troubling the crew. He let his heavy bear pelt slip from his shoulders as he sat down in the empty chair next to her.

"She's been there all night," he told his friend as he nodded toward the entryway to stage right. "Boss lady. We've been touring this show for months. We could all do it in our sleep, she knows that. Never seen her hover like this."

And there was no reason for it. "The Fall of the Absolute" was a roaring success. The production was Shayla Moonsong's crowning achievement, a media darling, and the current obsession of a whole continent. She'd catalogued volumes of stellar, five-star reviews thus far, and was selling out box offices everywhere she went. The show was the hottest new thing since "Volo's Guide to Sex in the Elemental Planes."

But it wasn't her biggest accomplishment. It wasn't what she was truly known for.

She was the Hero of Baldur's Gate.

She faced the illithid Netherbrain herself, and won.

And the tale they were telling in front of all those people was her story.

Heavens knew the winsome bard had faced far greater perils than watching a chapter of her life play out on a stage.

And yet there she stood, on this most unremarkable of nights, leaning just inside the door frame where she could observe without obstructing. Where she could scan the audience like a scrying eye, searching for… something. Normally she'd be flitting about like a cloud of gnats directing the cast and crew, answering questions, giving orders, helping the caterer, filling water jugs, finding toilet paper, running errands, meeting VIPs. Trying not to go crazy. But not tonight. Tonight she stood very still, chewing her thumbnail and unconsciously flicking the tip of her tail over and over, hard to the left.

And Jory remembered what Nelsyn had said about what it meant when tieflings flicked their tail to the left.

She was clearly nervous about something.

"Well, we're about to do the big emotional number," Nelsyn finally told him, closing the cover of her script while Sara gave her wig a good yank to test the glue. "It's the one all the teenage girls are sobbing over their sketch pads for right now."

She stopped to take a sip of water when Sara bent to pick up her cosmetics case. The girl made a gesture to Jory to give up his seat, and he tripped over his own feet unfolding himself to stand up. Once again he was reminded why he was cast as the big druid, Halsin. Shayla had told him once that while he wasn't quite as tall as the real thing… he was close. He wondered how easily the boss lady's former lover would have fit into that chair.

"This is our first time in Waterdeep," Nelsyn continued, trying her best not to move her lips while Sara applied a fresh coat of pink stain. "She probably just wants to see how it gets received. She doesn't really get to just sit out there and watch, you know?"

"Yeah."

"Could be it," Sara told them both, bunching her eyebrows and concentrating on keeping her hand steady. "Part of it, anyway. That is her favorite character out there, singing his heart out about the bomb in his chest."

"Her favorite character? The wizard?"

"Someone else got a bomb?"

"Please. Everyone knows I'm her favorite character."

"Listen," she replied as she wiped the applicator clean with a kerchief, "you're a good looking kid, and no one hates watching you take your clothes off out there." Nelsyn snorted, but they both ignored her. "A healthy percentage of ticket sales is probably yours, no one's arguing that. But that's not enough for you to game the win."

"Game the w- what?" Jory laughed, his oiled obliques glistening as he pulled the bear pelt back over his shoulders. "Look, I'm not trying to make it a competition or anything, okay? You brought it up. But I literally play an archdruid who carves ducks, sings to squirrels, and adopts orphans. Plus? He looks like this." He swept his hands grandly over his abdomen, flexing muscles most people had only seen in paintings or medical textbooks. "And did I mention he's also her boyfriend?"

"Her ex-boyfriend," Sara corrected him, pointing at Nelsyn as she spoke. "Have you even listened to the song she's getting ready to sing? You know. The one about love? And sacrifice?" She shifted her weight as an intern sidled past her to tidy the table, refill their drinks, and bag up the trash. "And don't tell me you haven't looked at Erik with both of your eyeballs. We've all seen him. The man has eyelashes as long as your forearm. And the biggest, saddest, wettest brown eyes on the face of this planet. He's like a baby cow, okay? I'm just saying." She stood to let the intern past her again, and bent to drag her cosmetics case out of the way. "This is the man she cast to play the lead in the big romantic climax of the whole show. When the main character realizes she's in love and it's too late. She's managed to capture," she pinched her fingers in front of her face, "the very essence of what it means to have sad children mooning over this show for years to come, okay? The baby cow is a cash cow. And he is clearly her favorite character."

"I think the vampire is her favorite character," the intern said, unprompted, as she reached to help Nelsyn out of her seat. "He's everyone's favorite character."

"You're all wrong," Nelsyn told them as she sloughed her way out of her robe with great theatrical flair. The intern caught it before it hit the floor, just as she'd done so many times before. Nelsyn stood with her hands on her hips and a gallant curve to her tail, casting her eyes toward the rafters and beaming a heavily pink-stained smile, resplendent in her artificially distressed leather armor blotted with thick fake blood.

"I'm her favorite character," she said, glowing with certainty. "And it should be obvious. I'm her! Now, stand back and watch while I go make a bunch of little girls cry!" And with that, she grinned devilishly and pranced toward the stage.

But once she was gone, the intern leaned forward and beckoned. Jory found himself instinctually drawn to listen.

"Well, you wanna know what I heard?" she whispered, and her eyes landed on Shayla for only just a moment. Jory nodded out of reflex. "I heard a rumor that someone in the orchestra pit overheard the boss lady telling someone in the box office that there was going to be a special guest tonight."

"What. Like, family?" Jory asked. "I thought she was an orphan."

"Could be anyone," Sara answered him from where she stood, combing through a wig hanging on the wall. "Philanthropist, politician. Who knows.

"Or," the intern hissed, leaning in even closer, "it could be one of them."

"One of who?"

"You know. Them. Thems what was with her, when all this went down."

"Like… like one of the actual…?"

"Don't you two have anything better to do than -"

"Wait. We're in Waterdeep," Jory breathed. He snatched up Nelsyn's script and started thumbing through it, fanning the pages and blowing a strand of hair across his nose. "Isn't… isn't the wizard…?"

Sara dropped her comb to her side and opened her mouth, but stopped and blinked at him instead. A thoughtful look crept across her face. She nodded her head in defeat.

"The wizard's from Waterdeep."

Then, as one, they all turned to look at Shayla where she stood at stage right, still as a statue.

And the music began to swell. The strings stirred the air with sounds as soft and sweet as sunset. The woodwinds sang a shrill crescendo as Erik began to make his famous climb.

And Nelsyn began to sing her famous song.

Before she disappeared beyond the narrow view from stage right, Jory watched her as she raised her arm to reach for him.

The wizard.

And her voice rang out so high and so clear, so heavy with every loss that Shayla Moonsong had ever suffered, with every plea that ever twisted her heart in bitter knots. With every word that ever fell from the mighty pen of their beloved playwright.

Who stood now with her hand at her throat. It bobbed once when she swallowed. Her lips parted and she drew a breath, and a hush fell over the crowd. She settled in to listen with the rest of them.

And her tail flicked once more to the left.

I know I've been unkind to you And I've pushed you way too far And I know in ignorance I forced you To reveal the man you are And I know I've left you with nothing to lose And even less to gain And though I know you owe me nothing Please don't give in to pain

Erik's silhouette was emblazoned across the long, velvet curtain hanging behind the hideously decorated staircase he was climbing. His movements were eery and real, despite their paltry attempts to pantomime a grisly memory that none of them had ever lived. Each step was measured and dreamlike and perfect, like a person caught in a trance or a dead man called home to his rest by a spectral light.

Or in this case, a massive papier mache facsimile of a netherbrain hung from a scaffold over the stage.

Please, Please don't do this I'm begging you not to go Please, Please don't do this There's something you need to know What can I do to make you wait Convince a goddess to change your fate Please tell me that it's not too late There's something I didn't say…

"It can't be him, though. Can it?" Jory asked. "Didn't he, like," he pointed a finger toward the stage, "explode?"

"Oh, no. It's just a story, mate," came a voice from behind them. It was Velanthyr, the elf who played Astarion. They rounded the table and perched themself on the corner, placing their white wig beside them as they took a bite from an apple. "She's embellished tons of stuff. For emotional impact. They all do it."

I should have loved you since I met you I should have loved you all along

"That bard she played? In the first act?"

"Yeah?"

"She ain't really dead either."

"Seriously?"

I should have told you that I love you Instead of hiding behind a song

"My cousin met her. Said he saw her play someplace they had dinner."

"No shit?"

"It's true. She teaches music in Baldur's Gate."

Is there nothing left that I can do But fall to my knees and pray

"So what's with her, anyway?" Velanthyr asked, pointing their apple at Shayla while they wiped the juice from their lips with their other hand.

The tip of her tail flicked again, and slowly she wrapped her arms around her middle.

To any god or any devil Who'd keep you from walking away

"She's been acting weird all night," they said.

"S'what we were just talking about."

Please, Please don't do this! Turn around! This isn't right!

"We think the wizard might be out there," the intern told them. "The real one."

"Oh no," the elf laughed.

Please, Please don't do this! Please, I'm begging you to fight!

"Hope he has a sense of humor. It's about to get weird!"

"Weird?!" Sara growled at them, flinging her comb about.

Forget your fickle god's desire I'd cross the oceans, I'd walk through fire I'd conquer all the Hells entire For you And yes, I know you're tired

"The man is getting ready to watch himself die! And I'm sure I don't need to remind you his death is self-inflicted! If there's a chance that any of this is real? That the trauma this man survived is on display? You all need to show a little respect." She shook her head and turned back to her wig. "Shut up and let her listen."

Sara's words may have stung him, but Jory knew she was right. So he obeyed her, and he listened. And for the first time he truly heard the fragile warble of desperate heartache that Nelsyn had worked so hard to craft through her voice.

Come back to me and take your rest Indulge one overdue caress I'll steal the sorrow from your chest And confess, I will confess

But he didn't just uncover a new appreciation for his friend and her level of skill. There was more to it than that. There was a depth to this scene that he'd been missing before now.

There was a meaning. One that wasn't meant for the whole world.

It was only meant for one man.

He could sense it in the vibrant tension bound between Shayla Moonsong's shoulder blades.

And then Nelsyn grew quiet. Everything got quiet. The music made a subtle shift to something low and dulcet, but tense, like a string pulled too tight without snapping. Jory found his feet had led him to stand at Shayla's shoulder. He could hear her breathing through her teeth and he felt compelled to reach out and take her hand.

She took hold of it like a lifeline.

You're everything to me and more You're all that I've been fighting for You're more than just an end to war…

Nelsyn paused after that last note. It was important to the narrative, it was the whole point behind the wizard's story. But her longing would go deliciously unrequited, and would inspire a veritable deluge of creativity from fandom communities everywhere.

Shayla squeezed Jory's hand, squeezed her eyelids firmly shut. She held her breath and Jory could see Erik had reached the top of the rise. There he stood, a straight, unyielding figure gazing off into the liminal distance, resolute.

And he would never turn around.

It wouldn't be long. Any moment.

Nelsyn sang her penultimate line.

And I would give my life for yours…

She held the word so long it nearly sank into Jory's skin. It sent a wave goosebumps to crest over every inch of his body. The orchestra wove their way through their final, sweeping refrain, and the conductor brought them to a close on a plaintive harmony between a flute and an oboe.

And then the light collapsed.

It shrank to a small, pale circle that drew its stark and shining focus on a razor-slim shadow cast against the curtain.

In the shape of a dagger.

Erik lifted it high and turned its point toward his heart.

"Gods preserve me," Shayla mumbled to herself. It was the only sound Jory could hear aside from the sniffs and sniffles of the audience. Collectively they teetered at the edges of their seats, enthralled by a beautiful, mournful man who was counting the final seconds of his life with undaunted stoicism and courage.

Nelsyn could've whispered her final line if she wanted to, but instead it burst from her as a scream.

"Don't do this!!!"

Jory felt it thrum like a shockwave within his own chest, and beside him Shayla flinched. She squeezed his hand even harder.

"Just tell me when it's over," she said to him. And then suddenly there was a flurry of activity.

He took a step back and yanked her away from the door when a small flock of technicians flew in to crowd the space they left behind.

Up high, far in the corner, Jory saw the dagger move against the curtain. And all of the good people of Waterdeep gasped when they watched the blade meet its mark.

"Fire in the hole," a technician murmured beside him, and the spotlight on the curtain went black.

Then a pair of spells were cast that bathed the audience in a blinding aurora. It blazed with ribbons of vivid blues and purples and greens, speckled with myriad glittering white stars.

And an arrow of roaring thunder was launched far overhead. It detonated with such a resounding boom that it shook everything, even the floor boards beneath Jory's feet. It rattled seats and drinking vessels, it toppled music stands, and it made Erik's staircase sway alarmingly as it was wheeled backstage, with him still riding precariously at its top.

Shayla Moonsong's face fell into her hands.

"Go on," Erik sang as he danced his way down the stairs. "Tell me how devastating I was. Don't hold back. Tell me everything."

"You were spectacular, my love!" Velanthyr assured him as they ran to greet him, cradling his face in their hands and kissing him sweetly. "You always are."

"Were they weeping?" he asked his lover, nuzzling their face with his own. "The lights are so bright, I can never see."

"They were drowning in their tears, darling. Drowning."

"Is everything alright?" Sara asked as she approached on her tiptoes, reaching for Shayla's arm. Velanthyr's wig drooped at her side, forgotten. "What can I do?"

"I can't even look," Shayla whimpered through the palms that smothered her face.

"Oh honey," Sara cooed as she pulled the woman closer. And in a blessed act of mercy, she asked the question that no one wanted to ask, but someone needed to. Long before now, before this critical point had been breached.

"He's out there, isn't he?"

"I think I've made a huge mistake." Shayla slid her fingertips down to press against her lips, unable to form any other words. She could only shake her head, her eyes as wide as dinner plates.

"Do you want us to look? See if we can see him?"

"I don't think I wanna know."

"Where is he seated?"

"E6."

"Oh." Sara briefly grimaced at Jory, but didn't stop rubbing circles across Shayla's back. "Front and center. Of course."

"Yep." The way her lips popped at the end of the word only served to emphasize how mortified she was. "Wouldn't want him to miss anything."

"Well, of course not. He's your guest," Sara replied, jerking her chin in a way that suggested Jory had been volunteered for reconnaissance.

"Oh gods!" Shayla raked her claws past her horns to twist them into her hair. "I even told him he could invite his mother!"

"Well that's a perfectly reasonable thing to do, one would think."

Jory understood his assignment. He sauntered away but paused at the door frame. The show wasn't over yet. When the technicians finished collecting their gear, they scrambled off to safely stow their rockets and retrieve the set pieces for the final scenes. They were dragging the staircase away from the main thoroughfare when Corinne, the woman who played the narrator, whipped past them.

"Coming through," she chimed, racing out to center stage, taking her place before the curtains could rise once more. Her final soliloquy would lead them into the epilogue, and would give Jory the opportunity he needed to cast his eyes past the orchestra pit and across the section of seats that lie beyond.

Front and center.

He would only have a minute or two. Sara would need to replace Velanthyr's wig. Erik needed a drink and Nelsyn's makeup needed a touch up. Very soon they would be on stage, the lights burning holes through their retinas, leaving them blinded and oblivious to all but each other and the saga they would spin to its end. He reached up to buckle the clasp on the bear pelt that draped across his shoulders.

For now, it was the narrator's turn. But he was ready. And then the curtains rose.

He smashed his face against the door frame like a cat burglar. A shaft of light swung down upon the stage illuminating Corinne at its center, and Jory peered out into the darkness it left in its wake. He squinted until he found the end of the section behind the orchestra pit, and he started counting backwards from there.

But seat E6 was empty.

Certain he'd made a mistake, he counted back again to double check, to be extra sure.

But he was right the first time.

"It's empty," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

"What?" Shayla cried as she spun to face him.

"Yeah," he told her. "I counted twice to make sure I had the right seat, but no one's in it."

"Oh gods." She began to pace, wringing her hands. "What about the one next to it?"

"Which side?"

"Just tell me if you see an older woman."

"Umm, okay." At first he wasn't certain. There was a child on the right side, but on the left was a person who'd stood up, and was bent with their back toward him, like they were reaching for something. "I think… maybe. Yeah. I think so. It looks like she's getting up. She's picking up a bag or something. Is that a cat?"

"Tara?"

"Who brings a cat to a -"

"She's not a cat. She's a tressym."

"What the hell is a tress- holy shit, it's got wings! It just flew over - oh! Oh, I think I see him!"

"Where!"

The tressym sailed through the air to float beside a tall, slender man who was moving quickly up the aisle toward the exit. He wasn't running, out of proper respect for social decorum, but he had the energy of a man who wished he was. His shoulders were hitched up near his ears and he was stifling his mouth with the back of one hand.

And a shiver ran down Jory's spine.

This was the guy. The wizard. The real one.

Gale Dekarios, of Waterdeep.

In the flesh. Right there.

From what little Jory could see, the play had done him justice. He was a very handsome man, lithe and lean, long-legged with a powerful stride, and every bit as comely as Erik had depicted him to be.

Yet it was hard to imagine, through simple sight alone, that this was a man who had once been the Chosen of a god. Or that this was a man who had once vanquished the avatar of Death itself. A man who had put an end to the Cult of the Absolute.

A man who had once made his own decision about whether or not to plunge a dagger into his heart.

But it was easy to see why Shayla would want to stop him. This man clearly meant something to her.

He didn't know what providence deemed it necessary for him to ask. It certainly wasn't any of his business. But the question tumbled out of his mouth, unbidden. Perhaps the gods themselves just wanted to hear someone finally say it out loud.

"Does he know how you feel about him?"

Shayla slumped and let her hands fall limp to her sides. She pulled her lip into her mouth, and her eyes swam with visions of regret. "No," she whispered to him. "It was never the right time."

Oh, how irony could be so cruel.

"You should go after him, then," he told her. "Go quick. If you hurry, you can catch him before he gets to the front door."

"Shit!" she snarled and for a moment, Jory was afraid she'd scurry across the stage in the middle of Corinne's long and emotional speech. There was a wild streak in him that almost hoped she would. But instead, she bolted through the loading bay doors and flung herself outside, presumably to tear down the alley between the theater and the wine cellar to run around the building toward the front.

Nelsyn wandered over to them, sipping cold water from her mug and watching over her shoulder as the loading bay doors swung back and forth on their hinges.

"Jory," she stated flatly. "What did you do."

"What?!" he cried. Sara could only double over and laugh at him. "I didn't do anything!"

"Somebody did something," she said, eyeing the doors skeptically. "And it looks a lot like it was you."

"I'm serious! She asked if we could see him, and I told her yes. That's all."

"See who?"

"The wizard!"

"What wizard? You mean, like… Erik?"

"No!" He stuck out both hands and shook them. "The actual wizard! The real one, from Waterdeep! Yes, he's still alive! No, he didn't explode!"

"Well, everybody knows that…"

"She wanted to know where he was, so I told her, and then she ran out the door."

"Wait. So he was actually here tonight?"

"Jory," Sara accused him, still smiling pitifully at him as she crossed her arms over her chest. "That's not all you said to her."

"But I didn't -"

"You asked her a pretty personal question."

"Where was he sitting?" Nelsyn continued as she took another drink and leered at him over the rim over her mug.

"E6."

"Wow. Front and center."

"Yeah. She didn't want him to miss anything."

"So what did you ask her?"

Jory could only roll his eyes and sigh. None of them had time for this. He dropped his head and pinched his brow between his thumb and his forefinger but when he looked up, he found all eyes were on him. Even Erik and Velanthyr had paused their conversation long enough to turn around and stare. The technicians in the back tried to appear as if they weren't listening, but everyone knew they were. Suddenly, he could feel the heat that was trapped beneath the heavy mantle of his bear pelt.

"I asked her if he knew how she felt about him."

"What do you mean, how she felt…" And through the window of her eyes he could see her mentally calculating every single word she'd just sung. Right in front of the very man it was all intended for. Seated front and center, missing nothing. Her eyes flickered like golden flames.

"Holy shit," she breathed. "Like… feelings? Real ones? What did she say?"

He didn't get to answer. Just then, raucous applause erupted from behind them. The thunderous retort of clapping hands and cheers drowned all other sound, and signaled to them all that their time was up. Corinne came skipping backstage as the curtains fell behind her.

"And that's a wrap for me! Slam and a dunk! Go get 'em while they're - what's going on?"

"The wizard was here tonight," Nelsyn answered her without breaking her eye contact with Jory. "The real one. Shayla is in love with him. What did she sayyy?"

"No," he told her, holding very still while Sara dabbed a powder puff over his face. "She said no. He doesn't know."

"Are you serious?" Corinne gasped, pressing a hand to her heart.

"Well he does now," Sara chuckled, wriggling her eyebrows as she dropped the powder back into her cosmetics case. "I hope she caught him before he got away. He deserves an explanation."

And all around them, activity buzzed. Scenic backdrops rolled by, the intern fussed with Velanthyr's wig on her tiptoes, Sara dug frantically around searching for her lip stain, and the other actors began lining up to take their places. But in spite of the jubilant bustle of life happening all around them, Nelsyn could only stand with her mug in her hands, awestruck by the revelation they'd just been given.

"Sweet tapdancing Asmodeus," she laughed, shaking her head with her eyes transfixed on some far away place. "You mean to tell me that this whole time," she jostled the water in her mug when she bellowed, "THIS WHOLE TIME?! This whole play has been just a great big love letter to some… man?! For months?! And he only just heard it? Tonight? For the first time?"

"I think that about sums it up, yep," Sara told her, taking the mug from her hands.

"That's genius!" She shuffled to her place in line, utterly befuddled, her eyes glassy and glazed. "They're star-crossed, it's perfect! I wish this would've happened months ago! Just you wait, you'll see. When all the little fan fic authors out there find out about this? They are gonna go berserk! People everywhere will pay money for a vial of our sweat! The contents of our chamber pots - we'll be famous!

"Gods have mercy on us all. There might even be a sequel. We'll be touring this show til the day we die!"

************************************************************************

[waterdeep-weavemoss]

I just read your 'Dark Gale'/Just Gale analysis and wanted to say I heartily agree. I have profoundly enjoyed a lot of fanfiction about Gale but I have felt a good portion are missing that darkness. I think somewhat ironically, people are inclined to believe what Gale says about himself as fact when he contradicts his words with his actions constantly. I personally think he refuses to acknowledge that part of himself because it contradicts how he views himself. I think he wants to be viewed as Wyll is viewed. But his own motivations counter that. Love to hear your thoughts, and do you have any recommendations of fics that incorporate more of the darkness. Also obligatory, I love love Gale such that I think all aspects of him should be considered when your character romances him.

Hey anon, thank you so much! It’s so sweet that people like you are engaging with my silly little metas. 😊

I totally agree that people go with what he says and not what he does; I adore him so much, and part of that is because he can be a little mean and sulky sometimes. It’s very human of him. His arrogance is super compelling because while it is earned (being a former archmage) it’s also a mask! He has so much bravado because he just doesn’t believe he’s enough as he is at all. I just went through his act 3 scene in the astral plane last night and my heart went out to him so much. He thinks the only way he can be of value is to be more than human, and that makes him do incredibly questionable things. It struck me how aware he is about the pitfalls of godhood- the lack of feeling, the lack of care, their innate apathy- and yet still in the same breath he desires to be one of them. God!Gale is such a different beast from the mortal man. He has none of the warmth in his eyes, his voice is more impersonal even, his skin is silver. He dehumanises himself completely, and in a completely different way to, say, Ascended Astarion.

God!Gale isn’t evil. He’s just self absorbed and treats Tav kind of like a plaything almost, exactly like Mystra did with him. It’s taken as a given that Tav will be his chosen (in my case, that playthrough he was Tav’s ex and she went with Halsin instead) and that she just couldn’t understand or comprehend what was going on. He’s aloof and cold.

Gale’s deeply insecure, but over the course of his romance you can insist that you just want him how he is, and he says he can live without godly powers, because Tav is everything to him, and he sees that ambition isn’t worth losing that… but it takes so much. Left to his own devices he would ascend and he wouldn’t have enough humanity left to regret it. It takes someone grounding him and validating him to talk him down from it.

I think ultimately his less than savoury actions are born of the abuse he endured from Mystra, never being able to measure up to a literal goddess, desperate to be more than that. He has selfish intentions for sure, but in his heart he’s crying out to be loved and just seen by someone who will understand him as the human man he is, not the god his ambitions push him to be.

In terms of Dark!Gale fics, if I may, my masterlist is here. The first two, Permeate and Possession, are probably closest to that darkness, though I am planning to write more and please do send a request if you have any for me!

I’d also like to open things up to my lovely mutuals: please reblog this with your own fic recs for anon, because in truth I’ve been here less than two weeks and have been writing more than reading!

Thank you my lovely! 💜

[jubilantjubi]

BG3 Party Members First Impressions

I have only played this game for like 5-ish hours, here's my first impressions of all the party members:

Lae'zel: Most of the things out of her mouth thus far have been threats of violence and racism. I really wanna show her more of the world and hope she has an Albi the Racist Dragon arc. She called my Tav and those in the grove a teeth-ling, I find this endearing.

Shadowheart: Seems nice, she seems to like that I saved her life, it's about all she says at this point. She's very mysterious and I don't know much about her yet, I think that's on purpose. I've been told by friends building a relationship with her (friendly or romantic) takes time, and so I will be patient.

Gale: I pulled a nerd out of a rock. He's my friend now. He approved when I stopped one of the tieflings from killing that goblin prisoner of war, I respect this. He eats magic items, which I feel like I should be annoyed by, but I'm the kind of player that hoards every magic item I find even if I will never use it because "what if I need it", so it'll force me to actually make choices.

Astarion: I might have more of an opinion on him cause the internet won't shut up about him. He's my guy and I love him. I also hate him. I want him to be a better person so we can hang out and drink (actual) wine. I would never romance him in a million years, even if you paid me. I think he needs a hug. I wanna dangle him out of a very high window by his ankles and shake him till all his money falls out. If anything happens to him I will cry. Respectfully, improve yourself worstie <3.

Wyll: A handsome man swooped into a fight in front of the settlement gates with a cool one-liner and brandishing a sword. He seems noble and cares about doing good. He was teaching kids how to sword-fight. He wants to help people in a really rough situation. He apologized when he was wrong about Karlach. I have a feeling if I ever do anything fucked up he'll call me out on it. I am currently heart eyes over this man. I am bisexual as hell.

Karlach: I literally just found her. Haven't even had time to put her in my party. But, a big strong fiery (literally) barbarian woman who is initially misunderstood but seems really energetic and sweet? Probably got anger issues? It seems like she feels everything she feels dialed up to 11 and I love that. She's so hot (literally), and I am currently heart eyes over this woman. I am bisexual as hell.

Hope that was entertaining for all you folks who have finished the game!

[punchratt]

Indulging in my brainrot again, heres that longer bg3 character design post i was talking about! (@dragonageshitpostingelves, i didnt forget you <3) Also, Spoiler Warning, i talk a lot about the companions backstory and quests, so don't read if you haven't finished those. Or do, I don't care.

Im gonna be honest and admit right now that I am sadly NOT a professional character designer, but instead just a nerd who likes to draw. I think the bg3 designs are amazing as they are and deserve a hell of a lot more praise then their already getting. That being said, i have many opinions about these funny little tadpole people. The first of them being that Gale, Wyll, and Astarion should not look like that. I mean, they all literally have the same body model, just give or take few scars and some hair, then swap the head. Which i think is a little shocking considering that the girls have much more diverse body types. Normally its the other way around.

First, Astarion. I love him, but i should not be able to grate cheese on his abs. Dude was a slave surviving off rats and living in the shadows for over 200 years, he's a rouge with 8 strength and no work out plan other then squatting so he can hide better. The last thing he should have is a six pack. I am a firm believer in scrawny Astarion, that man is wet noodle, he is malnourished and it should show. I should be able to see that mans ribs. Play that boy like a xylophone. This twink is not twinking right now and its driving me insane!

Im not saying he cant be sexy, in fact i think its very important that he is sexy. A big chunk of his story has to do with his relationship with sex and how he views romance as a whole. The whole point of his story is that he seems like the sexy vampier stereotype, but is actually a much more in depth character with a very complicated relationship to sex and romance. He needs to look sexy for that to work. But you don't gotta have a six pack to look sexy! Whenever i see him without a shirt all i can think of is that abs just don't look right on him. Everything else i think they've gotten perfect, he really does look like the character he's supposed to be and i can only applaud Larian for getting it so right, just.. lose the abs.

Second, Gale. I feel like I've already summed up how i feel about his design in my last post, but i like talking so i'm gonna say more! Gale should be chubby!! All he likes to do is ponder his orb, talk to his cat, and study magic. I firmly believe that he also has a side passion for food. After all, what is cooking if not potion brewing but different? Gale can appreciate a good meal and it should show! After all, eating and food is integral to his character with the whole arcane hunger thing he has going on. Give me my dad bod Gale and all wrongs in this world will be righted.

But to be a little more serious about this, i think his story becomes all the more poetic and tragic if you view him as someone who loves food. Because just imagine that you have three things you love, magic, food, and your goddess girlfriend. Now imagine that one day, to impress your goddess girlfriend, you do something kinda really stupid and end up with a magic nuke in your chest. But wait, it gets worse! Because of this failed grand gesture your goddess girlfriend breaks up with and banishes you. She leaves you to deal with this whole thing by yourself, all you have now is your cat and cooking. But wait, it gets even worse!! No matter how much you eat, yu arent ful, so you're constantly starvinng now, and thats how you find out that the bomb in your chest feeds on magic! Which means that now Gale has to ether find a way to keep it fed or he's gonna kamikaze half the swords coast. Meaning he has to eat any magical artifacts he gets his hands on while also dealing with the emotional damage of everything else. Food, one of the only things he had left, is now a stressful reminder of the fucked up situation he's in.

Now I don't think that means Gale starts to hate food, or resent it in some way, I still think he's the adorable little foodie goofball dork who insisted on being the camp cook. But i do think it makes his whole relationship with food something much more bittersweet, which is very interesting and something i feel could be reflected better in his already amazing design.

Third, Wyll. Wyll, I believe, is the most likely to be buff out of these three. Though, I don't think he'd show it as much as he does. We know he likes to dance, and that he enjoys a good sword fight more then anything! He used to fence with his father and overall is a very active guy. He is probably the character that most matches his body, there aren't many things I'd change. That being said, he is still a warlock with less strength then a hamster. He wouldn't be that muscly.

My dude is the son of a Grand Duke, he's had a relatively cushy life that didnt really get all that much harder after his dad gave him the boot (dick move btw). He's struggled, defiantly! But i don't think it'd be a reach to say that Wyll might have a little fat on him. I dont really have much to say other then i think he'd benefit from taking those abs away and putting that bulk somewhere else. When I imagine Wyll I imagine a man with some arm game and a pudgy belly. Maybe some calf muscle too, but overall nothing too defined since he doesn't really use strength in combat. I mean, why does Wyll have more defined abs then Lae'zel? Of all the origin characters she should have the most defined abs of the group. Not these three clowns(affectionate).

Wyll is a softie with a heart of gold, he should get to have a soft body to go with it. Plus it'd add more contrast between what parts are devil and what aren't. Sharp rough horns, a scarred face, and striking but intimidating eyes juxtaposed against a soft but somewhat built frame, quick whit, and a generally nice attitude make for a very interesting design! One that i think would be much more compelling then the kinda default muscly hero build he has now.

Now compare those to the secrete fourth option i didnt tell you about! Halsin! I think Halsin is designed perfectly and there is nothing i would change. He uses a unique body model from the other three and his design perfectly captures who he is as a character. He's big, appropriately buff, and looks kind. I look at that man and i think "yeah, thats a guy who occasionally turns into a bear", and he does! He looks like a natural born leader who knows how to make those tough decisions, he looks as inviting as he acts, and he looks like he gives amazing hugs. Bear hugs if you will! That man is a bear in every sense of the word, and whats more druid then that?

I only really brought him up to set him as sort of a standard for the designs of this game, because almost every single design is just as perfect and well thought out as his. I could go on for several more paragraphs about other characters and why their also perfect, or what other small little changes id make to their designs (cough cough, Lae'zel abs, cough) but this thing is getting long enough as is.

So to conclude. Fuck abs, and get them off my boys! If you've actually read this whole monstrosity, thank you. It took me over half a day to write and i still feel like i haven't touched on everything. Like, i didn't get to praise their designs nearly as much as i wanted to, but oh well. Maybe I'll make another post about the girls, maybe ill ramble about what i do like about the boys designs, i don't know. Depends on if anyone wants that, or if i still got gas left in the tank after this. Finally, please excuse any spelling errors and the inconsistent capitals. Its late, i have dyslexia, and i'll probably go back and fix it later. Thanks again for reading!

[welcome-to-the-end-of-eras]

Live Reading: The Mars House by Natasha Pulley

Some initial (spoiler-free) observations for now:

1.) desperately missing the style of publication from twofs and tbs, book covers that come off are my biggest opp

2.) Edward Cullen lookin ass cover I kinda love it

3.) absolutely love the fact that The Bedlam Stacks is officially part of the Watchmaker series even though Mori is in like 3 scenes, he’s so powerful

Off the bat, it's really interesting to see the way January interacts with what is our present like it's something ancient. The way he describes the "ruins" of London and various places around that people today may even live in, as if it's centuries old. Idk what year this takes place in but I feel like it's going to be like 2030 or some shit lmao

I already read the leaked chapter so I'm just going to skip it, all in all though I like January so far. He's a little less...I don't want to say compelling, but he doesn't have as much of a distinctive personality off the bat as Valery or even Flint, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. Plus he's like. Actively in crisis, so I'm going to give him a pass

He does have the gen Z tendency for nihilism tho, moreso than the other mc's, and I really like it

Oh wait no he's not even gen Z he's like. Gen Theta??? This is farther into the future than I thought, which is good bc it was a lil depressing to think it was this close to the present and everything was flooded (I mean we're still boned but I was expecting the time period to be like. A very likely 2027 or something.)

I honestly really like the way January isn't content with the small things in his life that make him miserable like the other mc's. He's a Complainer. He's literally me-

"It was fine as icing sugar." ??? Girl are we getting some freaky future ghost shit again??? Please???

I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T-

MORI AND DAUGHTER??? I'M GOING TO PASS AWAY-

I will be crying about this forever

Six taking over the shop but keeping her dad's name attatched...BEING CANON??? We STAY winning

"There are moments when you come so close to another future you can taste the air in the courtroom." GIRL SHUT THE FUCK UP RESPECTFULLY I'M ABOUT TO START SCREAMING-

Wait these exoskeleton things sound cool as fuck, I wonder how hard it would be to make one for cosplay purposes??? Probably pretty tricky (and knowing myself I would never finish it) but it still seems really fun to make

Damn he's really scared of not wearing that thing, my poor baby :((( ugh I really do like him a lot so far

Ohhh wait I thought wearing the suit was to protect him, not to protect others??? I misread

But he's still really that scared of hurting anyone else :((( he's my baby I've decided

I feel like I'm not going to like Gale much off the bat bc they're going to be rude to him, but I'm sure I'll grow to like them more. I mean I didn't much care for Shenkov off the bat but I adore him now so

Not to get Prentious-English-Major-y, but it seems like a running theme in this book is getting over the shame of taking up space in the world. January is constantly being reminded that he needs to stay in his place and not cause trouble for others, and it's so engrained into him that he can't help but panic over a simple mistake that could've been corrected with a gentle warning. But it also wasn't a gentle warning; the guy in the elevator fucking yelled at him!!! Immediately!!! I get the notion that it was a matter of safety for him, but January was far away from and couldn't have possibly hurt him, and he still yelled. Coming from the lense of a queer man, it's very reflective of the homophobic idea that queer people can't even be trusted in public because they're "sexual deviants" and the like, or even going back to the 80s when people thought that AIDS was transmitted through just skin-to-skin contact. Idk. Food for thought.

Honestly??? The way his thoughts keep circling back to the way everyone was horrified of him on the elevator is the most accurate way I've ever seen someone describe anxiety attacks

What tf is up with the pink elephants??? New tattoo idea just dropped???

Ooo interesting monetary system for the trains. I went into Boston to get my copy and they started doing a similar thing on the green line (the only train system that runs above ground, so they can't really stop people from not paying to get on) and it kind of reminds me of that. It's definitely not that similar, but it's enough that I made the connection

Creepy Government Programs Meant To Completely Cripple Minorities Just So They Can Access Slightly Worse Basic Rights They Should Already Have...totally not realistic...haha...not at all...

Only a year??? January...buddy...you've been here for 600 days...

Oh wait no I just looked it up, a year on Mars is actually about 687 days, nvm, fuck me I guess

The whole conundrum of naturalizing vs just using the cage is vvv interesting, and is also reminiscent of the way disabled people are encouraged by society (and warned by medical professionals) to undergo drastic surgeries to cure their disability

Damn so going on the train cost him a half hour of work??? That's kinda nuts. Although if it's a longer distance train it's not as bad, but it seems like it just went from one part of the city to the other

Oh??? Hello??? He has a crush on his boss??? Honestly she sounds like a milf I don't blame him-

I feel like the release button of his suit being over his heart is going to be important and dramatic and it's going to make me cry

Idk how to word this properly but like. January being motivated to eat more and train for ballet again bc he's just overall happier with Gale may just (happily) destroy me, the same way tlfop describes Thaniel getting a lot stronger over the course of four years bc he's eating more and started boxing and that, but I feel like it'll be different bc him being married to Gale will offer him the privilege to do that kind of thing while others aren't awarded the freedom

The group physical therapy before work is kinda nuts, we should honestly do that at my job too

Honestly the way they're describing these work suits is kind of a serve, especially with the cool skeleton lookin thing around it, that would make such a fun cosplay

Senator Gale in the mix too!!! Vvv excited, even though I know January is going to do some fuckshit on tv with them

I KNOW January is pretty af I know it in my soul

"Great power to be had from ogling." I'm love Val sm-

Love that she included how to pronounce Mx bc it always throws me for a loop. Also...McWang??? Girl-

I really do not know what I expected from the woman who managed to get the word "octopussy" in three of her books

"...so that he wouldn't think about how much he would have loved to see someone shove Audrey bloody Gale off a cooling tower." DAWG-

He really fuckin hates them wow, their public persona must suck

Oh also random thought I forgot to include a bit earlier, but is it like. Genuinely illegal to assume people's gender in this society??? That's kinda based actually. Fox News would have a field day. "ThIs Is CoNfIrMaTiOn Of ThE fUtUrE tHeSe LiBeRaLs ArE lOoKiNg FoR." Ugh I hope someone shows them, that would be fucking hilarious (obviously no one should tho bc I sincerely believe there are some idiotic people who would start sending Natasha death threats over it and I don't want that).

"...and do everyone a favour by turning immediately into goo." Jesus fucking Christ dude-

I hope January beats the shit out of some of these people I really do-

Hehe puffweens

Ooo the Mars citizens fashion seems fun

"Thirteen year olds were, of course, terrifying monsters..." thirteen year olds are extremely lame when you get to know them but I do get the anxiety (I say as someone who worked with them for over 5 years)

He doesn't want to scare anyone :(((

First he's comparing Gale to the devil, and now he's saying they look like a god??? Make up your mind dude

"He followed the news like a bloodhound when it came to Gale." My good bitch you are so definitely into them-

The fact that Val has to bribe January with chocolate to not throw a brick at Gale is so...I'm love them so much

[fanfiction-artist-prototype]

favourite act 3 dialogues so far, a collection

(i love this mainly bc im like. ah. the 'looking back after killing cazador as a spawn and realising you were acting not dissimilarly to the man you hate so much and that you could have become just like him all over again if you'd gone through with it' is just delicious)

Lae'zel is just so tired, she's really going 'for fuck sake we have withers, a selunite demigod and her wife, scratch and the owl bear. must we take in *more?*'

CASSANDRA! YOU'VE KNOWN YOU WERE A CHILD OF BHAAL FOR A FUCKING DAY! STOP TRYING TO TELL EVERYONE! ALSO??? Babes im trying to redeem you so hard why are you making it so difficult for me to *not* pick 'recently unemployed, i quite like murders?' bc your intelligence stats make that so in-character

--

(honorary bloodweave 'and they were bunkmates' setup)

--

(back to quotes)

(i love Orin. I love the relationship she has with Durge. She'll kill them, want them dead and to take over their life from their position in life to their room to *everything* that could be them because she needs to know what made her the lesser choice; why did Bhaal have to *make* another bhaalspawn when she was right there?

But it's the inflection when she says he's been whispering in their ears; it's the anger, the indignity. I like to take it not as a 'you are shameful for falling for it' even though she obviously references that he could twist them when they had their memories, i take it as aimed *at* Gortash. He's taken her sibling, her rival, and twisted them against what Father wanted to the point she found she had to and then was able to usurp them! And then, then he dares to take advantage of their amnesia and try and turn them against Bhaal once again. Anyway. Love this gal, she's a hoot.)

(also i forgot to screenshot but what do you MEAN Orin thought that the best way to impersonate Gale (who i had be the companion who got taken from camp - which i immediately reloaded to avoid bc im trying to do stuff for his character quest rn damnnit and it isn't time to go straight to the temple!) was to imply he ran away and that she castrated him??? that's so funny)

(Orin being described as a sulky child has got the brainworms (ha!) wriggling ngl)

(also it's always lae'zel. she's at max approval each time as well!! like couldn't it be Yenna or smthing? like have a whole 'look at the murder-kin thinking it can *protect* life? Trying to make up for all those you've cut shorter than this one?? Also i kind of need Lae'zel for heavy hitter stuff as well but we can push through for now!)

(Us in general is my fave part of this game. What do you mean that technically to the outside world my durge looks like she's wandering around with a dog, a cute kitten/cat and a raven (from the He Who Was reward gloves) trailing after her!? AHHH.)

DENIAL IS A RIVER IN EGYPT-

Durge why are you like this.

Is there truly anything bouncing between their tadpoles that isn't some form of sarcastic comment?

WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING.

Like. Durge. this is so funny, you've known you were a bhaalspawn for like a *week* what do you MEAN you've already figured out appropriate blasphemes?"

THIS LINE RIGHT HERE IS WHAT INSPIRED MY ENTIRE FUCKING TAKE ON DURGE IN SCION ON SCION VIOLENCE. THIS IS THE FOUNDATION FOR MY INTERPRETATION OF 'THE URGES'

Literally i am not kidding when I say this is one of my fave lines. The context, of Karlach seeing her friend (maybe even her best friend, her fucking *sibling* in all but blood) getting to fix themselves, getting to choose to live knowing she can't, she's fucked it isn't going to work. And yet, she can only be proud. Makes everything hurt so bad-

*stares in that one playthrough where i didn't realise letting her kill the nightsong was her bad route and was like 'yeah lets let her become a justiciar* Yeah babes. It'd be a real shame wouldn't it. (also love her just as much as Karlach, like parallels)

look. I'm an astarion simp through and through and I DO NOT CARE THIS LINE GETS ME EACH TIME!! He's like. This is great and all but since we're not questioning what the fuck withers is im going to focus on the sickening sweetness and BLEH too much. Too much emotional trauma yet to be resolved this is a little nauseating ' i love him. so much.

[sorcerous-caress]

Not a request, just something I need to get off my chest. I'm kind of preparing myself to be judged for this one (as far as I know, not a lot of ppl see this man in a positive light), but hear me out:

Ulder Ravengard.

That man fucks (as evidenced by having a literal child but you know what I mean). Just imagine being called to his office after an unpleasant meeting, getting absolutely destroyed on his big, sturdy desk, his fingers filling your mouth to silence you, he still has a reputation to uphold after all. Or just him sending you a letter all official with a seal and everything, only to basically tell you to cancel your plans for the next day or two and put on his favourite outfit, because you will not be able to do much when he is done with you.

I also have several other, more fluffy smutty thoughts about him, but I am in a depraved mood tonight, so yeah. Welcome to my brain vomit. I hope you like it :)

Anon me and you are the only members of the "wanna fuck the companions' parents" club! I'm the president and now you're the vice-president <3 have you seen my unhinged sins against Arnell Hallowleaf aka Shadowheart's dad?

We need someone who wants to fuck Gale's mom so we can complete the trio and get a treasury to our club.

Also I completely understand and I am so on board. Fuck he is literally drips with authority? He is like an old money kind of person, you can tell he belongs to actual nobility.

He has his weight in the upper city circle and even being his arm candy will grant you so much respect and others would envy you for it, he is literally the closest thing in Baldur's Gate to a king.

Imagine being Wyll's cute little friend <3 you're kinda of a slut tho. His dad always tries to be a gentleman to you because you're his son's friend and kindly doesn't react to you being such a shameless cocktease in front of him.

But fuck it's too much, you just won't let him rest would you? Giving him a peak of your underwear, pressing fully against him in a very non friendly hug when greeting him instead of a normal handshake. Making him lust after something pretty and young like you.

Of course you get an official letter from the government summoning you to the Grand-Duke's office the next day, no mention of Wyll tho. Only signed with Uldar Ravengard

Of course you doll yourself up, take a shower and fully prepare for what's about to come. For who's about to cum inside you <3

Funny how started memorising the surface of his desk better than your own bed, funny how he fucks you as he he's trying to make new kids, even if you can't get pregnant. He has been so bent up and a little pocket slut like you is exactly what he has been needing for relief all these years of looking after the city.

[anothertroy]

spoiler free baldur's gate 3 thoughts because it's occupying about 40% of my whole brain right now

I went on one (1) date one (1) time with a man who called himself Kelemvor and I always thought he made that name up so when I tell you I almost astral projected out of my body when I saw the name come up in the lore of this game as the Lord of Death. this Kelemvor was not the Lord of Death. he was the Lord of calling me up every couple of months to tell me everything he and his boyfriend had purchased at Ikea, in great detail and at prodigious length. there was not a second date

weird as fuck to find out my favourite characters are people I had literally never even seen cross my dash once while everyone's faves are people I can't fuckin stand

when will I ever learn that no matter how painstakingly I walk my player character around every trap, patch of acid, flaming dirt mound or other hazard, immediately everyone else in my party will walk straight into all of it and blow themselves up (especially Gale)

it is a CRIME that I can't romance this one bard. it is 2024 I think you should be able to romance any adult in the whole video game world

I am beginning to think Baldur's Gate the city is a myth. everyone speaks about it like the promised land. any time anyone mentions it one of us is like 'oh, Baldur's Gate, huh? and is the Baldur's Gate in the room with us right now?'

yet again no matter my determination to not do this I have ended up playing all the Please Don't Be Mad At Me I Have Abusive Parents dialogue choices. can't wait to get that out of my system and then make a new character who's a psychotic half elf who just wants to watch the world burn

unreasonably funny to make a group of people refresh themselves overnight using like 20 potatoes, 10 bottles of wine and an orange. I have to say the collecting food aspect of this game makes me feel like I am on an episode of Knightmare and that literally couldn't be more ideal

have been playing for over 50 hours. yet to meet one single heterosexual

[blueywritespoetry]

10 things I'd tell a child.

1. Everything can be fixed. Whether it's a stain on a sofa, a shattered plate, a broken heart or a tearstruck face - it can be mended. Wounds have this tendency to scab over, even when left unattended. It can be fixed.

2. I love you. I can't speak for everyone in the world, I can't speak for everyone you'll encounter, but I adore you. I adore you if you kick and scream or sit quietly, if you get an A star or an F minus. I will never stop loving you because of something arbitrary or something that seems so incredibly important or at all, actually. I love you with the kind of love that doesn't flicker in the strongest gales.

3. Some people, not naming names, are terrible at expressing emotions through speech. They each have their little languages that are full of "I love you"s, be it clever insults or performed duties or shared games or text messages. Once you learn how individual people scream "I love you", you will never go a day starved.

4. If you are passionate about something, partake in it. There is not a single thing you can adore wholeheartedly without somebody mocking it. There is not anything you can set your eyes on that will polish you into a diamond or roughen you into stone. Ergo, do it anyway. Love it for a day, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime. Love it for as long as there remains embers on the fire. Love it with as much love as you dare to spare, express it however you want to. Love wholeheartedly.

5. Revise. Please. Look at it from every perspective - if you get straight nines after revising, then you got it out of skill rather than luck. If you get straight twos after revising, well, imagine what it would've been like without. There is no downside to revision after two months. Miss out on a couple parties. It literally doesn't matter.

6. If you feel inherently superior to everyone else in your vicinity and you aren't at Oxford, you are not the best. That is fine. You're allowed to not be the best. You do not need to excel, you do not owe your best to anyone other than yourself. You don't need to be flawless or perfect or even spectacular. You are enough as a musician, an artist, a lawyer or a bin man. Your existance is not conditional on being the best.

7. People said for a long time it was okay to not know what I wanted to do for a living, and they're totally right. However, the other thing is that whatever you want to do is not fixed or worthy of jeers and mocking.

8. Love is never the wrong option. Love is never going to lead you on a soured path, nor the path of greatest resistance. Love is always, always, always going to be your best option. There are times I hate and regret it but there has never yet been a love that I have despised after a year.

9. Love yourself. If it sounds impossible, then all the more reason for you to hear it. Love yourself. You were forged in stars millions of years ago, or built by an almighty force, be that a God or a science or something totally beyond understanding. Your face is totally, completely yours, but it's also your father's, your mother's, your grandparents' - your structure has been passed down for milennia. Your ancestors held the same features that you now do, like an heirloom of ancient times. Look after it like you would the most precious of things, because that is what you are.

10. There is not a day I fear for the boy you will be or the man you will become. This is a blessing I can only thank your parents for. This sounds dangerously complimentary towards your father, but he's who I modelled my own personality after, who I catered my humor to, who I contrasted my silhouette with. Your mother is so wonderful, and patient, and she is who I have in mind when I picture kindness. They have given me the blessing of peace of mind when it comes to who you will become. I am fully confident that you will be incredible.

[thefinalgirlblog]

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR SCREAM 6

THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SCREAM 6 ARE HERE.

So I finally seen Scream 6 and I loved it. Like I enjoyed Scream 5 as well and thought it was amazing but Scream 6 is just way better to me (could be bias since my girl Kirby FINALLY made her epic return to the franchise) and I think the acting was way better for the Sam character. I'm not going to lie in Scream 5 I didn't love her character all that much I thought she did her thing and everything but I was bummed that Tara wasn't the new it girl of the franchise but with this movie I actually found myself LOVING the character of Sam. She was so well written in Scream 6 compared to scream 5. Like scream 6 made me love her character and the actress really brought her all to the role that's for sure.

I loved Scream 6 and it's probably in my top 3 scream films along with the fourth and first. But there is a downside which isn't that big of a deal probably but I just feel it was weird how Chad didn't have more resistance to going for Tara considering that he had lost Liv. Like he was all in with Tara and don't get me wrong I ship them hard now but it makes me feel bad for Liv because it shows that Chad never really loved her in my opinion. Like he didn't even seem fazed by the fact that he has a dead ex.

Like when Sidney lost Randy, Tatum, and Derek you could feel her pain over it even if it wasn't explicitly said. She wore Derek's necklace in the third film still, there were certain moments where you could tell that Sidney missed Randy and Tatum.

But with Chad in Scream 6 I don't get the vibe that he misses or even cares that Liv is dead.

And with Mindy I guess I assumed she'd feel a little bad for how she was treating Liv in the fifth film because she legit spent the whole movie putting Liv down for no reason and then Liv winded up dead so going into the sixth movie I guess I expected a more serious Mindy in a way that was actually feeling horrible because of how awful she was to Liv but didn't get that.

So it just makes me feel so bad for Liv. Nobody misses her and the guy she was with is moving on with one of her best friends. See if Chad had trouble moving on with Tara then I wouldn't feel so bad for Liv, tbh, because it would mean he had actually loved her and that she had meant something to him. But nothing is literally holding him back from going for Tara, it's so easy for him and so I think we really missed out on a great arc for him.

But aside from that I loved scream 6. Sam was amazing and I did enjoy the romance scenes with Sam and her new man, and Tara and Chad's romance as well. I ship both of those pairings hard.

Honestly I was terrified for Gale the whole movie and I was so happy it was mentioned that she made it but it was so weird how it was just mentioned instead of us seeing her like usual but I guess since the focus is no longer on her and Sidney that means if our core four isn't near her then all we get is mentions.

But I was a bit surprised that she was repressed into being the gale from the first movie. That was weird for me because Gale had developed so much because of her bonds with Dewey and Sidney throughout the first four films. Even in the fifth film you could tell she had changed so seeing her revert to movie 1 Gale was bizarre for me. I wasn't really a fan of that but I guess they needed to set up conflict between her and the carpenter sisters. So I wasn't the biggest fan of that but it did seem like she redeemed herself a little with her heart to heart with Sam so I can look past it.

It was crazy to me that the sixth film was the first to not feature Sidney and it makes me feel unsure about how Sidney could realistically come back into the fold because she has a family and she wants to keep them safe so why would she keep running into the fire? Like Gale's line "Sidney deserves her happy ending" makes me feel like maybe it would be best to leave Sidney out of the seventh film which upsets me to say because I love Neve and Sidney and I want her back. But at the same time Sidney lost her mother young and I doubt she wants her children to experience the same.

I probably have way more to say about the movie but for now that's it. I really did love it and think it was even better than the fifth one.

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough - big jump sideways

I’ve been sick all weekend with a big cold, so I’ve pretty much only been drinking hot liquids and playing BG3. For HOURS. Somehow, it feels like I’m still not that much farther into the main plot - I just feel like I’ve gotten farther sideways, and completed a million little sidequests that don’t really have to do with anything, though it’s all been super fun. In the spirit of completing a million little tangents, here’s a million random notes. (lots of little spoilers)

Hey I read a thing… I had always assumed, always always, and I think I’m not the only one that assumed, that the city shown in the beginning cinematic being attacked by the nautiloid was Baldur’s Gate. Apparently it’s not. Apparently it’s a different but nearby city called Yartar. I mean that does make more sense - the question always was, how did Astarion get taken by the nautiloid in the middle of the day, did the nautiloid break through the walls of Cazador’s palace? But then why would Cazador write in a journal that he didn’t know what happened to Astarion and he went missing during a hunt? So I guess that’s why. I don’t think it’s very clear that the city isn’t Baldur’s Gate.

So first and foremost: I finally got Minsc. I was fully expecting to just leave him permanently at my camp for the rest of the game like I’ve done with Jaheria and Halsin. Like sure, he’s funny, but I’m HALFWAY THROUGH ACT 3, I don’t have the time to get attached to a brand new companion! I couldn’t even connect with Halsin really, and I met him in act 1. Especially not a ranger, who, I dunno. Maybe I don’t play very good, but it just seems to me that for everything a ranger can do, I have a different companion that can already do it, but better.

But he was really funny, so funny, like, making me burst out loud laughing at every other line. I checked found out that if you respec him, he still keeps the ability to summon Boo, so I changed him to a barbarian (basically taking Karlach’s place… sorry Mama K) which I feel matches his character better anyways, and somehow, suddenly, he is now my second favourite companion, after Astarion. Did not see that coming. He’s hilarious, love him, love his dialogue, love Matt Mercer, love Boo, love how Boo launches himself straight into enemy’s faces.

He has funny things to say about all the other companions - he doesn’t like Gale because Gale uses words that are too fancy, and Tara scares Boo. He’s jealous of Halsin because Halsin beat him at arm wrestling. He has nice things to say about Wyll and Shadowheart and Karlach. (sadly Lae’zel is still kidnapped so he hasn’t met her yet) Oddly though - he has nothing to say about Astarion. He simply says, Boo told him not to gossip about people behind their backs, and he feels he should also be careful what he says to Astarion’s face. It’s a bit weird - he usually has nice cute dialogue with Astarion as we’re walking around. Oh well.

Every single thing Minsc has to say is hilarious, and I’m really glad I went through the giant pain in the ass of getting him. Out of all the companions I have, he’s the one that approves of the choices I make in my specific playstyle the most. Like, Astarion is still complaining whenever I give money to people (dude we literally have more money than the bank has in its vaults, we can give a little out), Wyll complains when I do sneaky things, Lae’zel complains when I talk my way out of fights, etc etc etc, but Minsc man, me and him are just vibing, he approves of all my choices.

I am also glad because in the last fight, I got to whack Roah Moonglow. I’ve had my eye on her ever since we had the nice casual chat about slave trade back in act 1: nice to finally have the chance to smack her down.

I found Ethel! I had actually *totally forgotten* where she appears in act 3, and I had no idea she had anything to do with the missing kid, so I was COMPLETELY SURPRISED by that reveal. Grisly started talking about Lorna NEVER having a daughter and I was like… what the fuck is going on here? I was just at her house, she has books and toys all over the place. Then she’s asking me to KILL Lorna. What? Is this… is this Orin??? Feels like something Orin would say??? And then her voice changed and it alllll snapped into place, all the bizarre things, all the mind altering, of fucking course it’s Ethel, of course. Best bad guy reveal, wow. Ethel is my favourite antagonist in this game, I just love how awful she is. I also like how Astarion might complain about me jumping in to help sometimes, but something about Ethel must really freak him out, because he ALWAYS gives approval when I throw down with her. After finally getting rid of Ethel in a VERY annoying fight, Mayrina finally decided to let her poor husband’s corpse rest, and I’m sure her and Kled will eventually have a very cute happily ever after. (why are the hobgoblins so cute in this game?)

Araj Oblodra isn’t here for me, because I didn’t give her my blood in act 2. I know Astarion has some really nice things to say in your defense, but back in act 2, my durge was worried that whatever was wrong with him could be transmitted or otherwise contained within his blood somehow, and he didn’t want to it give to some creepy drow lady from a house that my tav knows is sketchy, so he kept his blood to himself. So instead, her shop is closed by order of Lord Gortash due to safety violations, lol.

I found Jaheira’s house. Listening to everyone talking online, I had expected this to be a lot sadder, like, that her children had turned their backs on her and had no respect for her or something. Maybe I misunderstood, because that’s not what I saw here at all. Yes there was some conflict, but honestly I found it more… interesting than sad, because Jaheira’s oldest ward seems she’s like basically a copy of her. I left the house feeling good, not sad. Jaheira’s got a lovely family. And yes it seems like Jaheira made a big mistake in trying to protect them by pushing them away, but… like, that happens, people make mistakes, parents make mistakes, kids get mad, everyone forgave everyone in the end? It was fine. Cute. I wasn’t sure which was the best choice for them - to tell them to protect the refugees, or to tell them to help with healing. Shockingly, absolutely shockingly, there’s no good info online! Crazy I know. I told them to help refugees cause that’s been my tav’s whole thing ever since he stepped foot in the Emerald Grove, I hope that wasn’t a mistake. What I DID find online was a bunch of people bitching about the writing. Look guys, if you don’t like it, just go play Starfield or something and fuck off. A friend of mine kept joking that Bethesda doesn’t even hire writers anymore and I thought it was a joke, but apparently it’s not, they literally do not, and the people who code the quests get to write them.

Let’s see, what else. I found Dammon and his spicy book. I know it wasn’t just a random dev decision to put it there, because the actual book is in his room, and then a note interviewing the author of the book is in a different room of his house, so Dammon is a legit fan, haha. I found a VERY busy graveyard with no less than two fights and no less than two living things buried alive. I paid off the bank and the guy gave me a key to a vault I had already looted. Everything in the sewer is done I think? I found a note that explains why that sleeping tiefling is down there, which no one online mentioned when I was looking it up… does no one actually read the books and notes in this game?... anyways with this mysterious unwakeable tiefling, apparently he’s recently had family or loved ones die as they tried to travel to Baldur’s Gate, and he’s taken the last of his money and bought a schwack of sleeping potions to overdose on. Poor guy.

And I got rid of Mystic Carrion and now the zombie bros are hanging out in his house, I like it. I found Volo and had a fuck of a time figuring out how to save him, since the fire burns away the cart and makes everything explode, and even if you untie him he doesn’t seem to be able to run away in time, arrrrgh Volo.

Volo is at my camp now and had some surprisingly supportive comments to make about my dark urge. HOW did Volo know I’m a Bhaalspawn? I mean it’s not exactly a strict secret, I’ve told a couple people in town, but I’m not ADVERTISING it either. I was a bit disappointed there wasn’t a single dialogue choice to ask how he, of all fucking people on Faerun, who I haven’t even seen since he popped my eye out in act 1, managed to figure out that I am the other chosen Bhaalspawn.

Lastly, speaking of Bhaalspawn, I found and killed Sarevok. What a goddamned pain in the ass that was. I’ve never savescummed so hard before. Every choice I made was the wrong one. Took a lot of reloading to eventually figure out that I should kill the outside guards first cause it’s freaking impossible if they come in to fight with everyone all at once, then do NOT kill the three freaky ladies, instead immobilize that asshole so he can’t hit me and charge up his fucking shitty attack, and smack him with everything I’ve got until he dies, hopefully very soon. Man.

Bringing Minsc along to the fight adds some nice extra dialogue as Sarevok reacts to seeing him again. Bring Minsc AND Jaheria adds even more, but also makes him talk to YOU more about blood and bhaalspawns and whatnot. (but I didn’t bring Jaheira, because I don’t like her in fights, sorry Jaheira) Sarevok was creepy. How unnerving for my resisting tav. I kind of wish there had been more of a buildup to him though.

I found the office of the Society of Brilliance, where they tried once again to buy the gith egg off me. I want to say this again, because it makes me sad that our history classes appear to have failed a lot of people: wanting to take a child and “fix” its “violent nature” by raising it outside the influence of its “brutal” culture was literally and specifically the stated goal of residential schools. Even if they said absolutely nothing about experimentation, their goal should be horrifying, and that’s why. Blurgg and Omeluum seem to be the only sane ones in this entire organization TBH. Blurg’s as nice as always but Omeluum is missing, more to do, oh boy, but that’s ok cause I had to go to the place he’s at anyways.

I had some thoughts about Astarion’s parents, because I see people discussing it / including family in their fics - I personally do not think he had family he was close to. Just in general I do not get that vibe from him at all. Karlach talks about her family, Wyll and Shadowheart we get to MEET their family, Gale talks about his mum, Lae’zel doesn’t have a traditional family but talks about her creche, and Astarion never mentions biological relations once, not once. He mentions his spawn siblings a lot, and it seems like they take the place in his thoughts where a biological family would have been. I feel like any bio relations must either be dead (and maybe the grave is part of a benefits package that came with his government job?) or else (my personal opinion) he did not have a good relationship with them, and was perhaps estranged when he died.

For as much as I got done this weekend, I still have so much more to do: the Steel Foundry, the House of Grief, the House of Hope, the stuff in the basement of Wyrm’s Rock, and the temple of Bhaal which looks like it’s going to be a gigantic pain in my ass, and while I was helping Volo I found a whole new freaking quest about checking out some dead waveservant, whatever the heck that is. I am loving this game, the only reason why I can be so picky is that it’s so good, it’s kept me busy since October and I adore it, I really really do. But, act 3, man. I do wish they had more time to finesse it. I can really see how this would have worked amazingly if Baldur’s Gate had been split into lower city and upper city areas, and removed half the quests and content in this area and spread them out over a second area. More room to breath. I’d like to have more fun exploring random areas, not feeling like every single step I take is unlocking some new thing for my journal. Or even just… tweak the quests so they have something to do with the main plot, so I don’t feel like I’m just doing random errands for ever random citizen.

Oh well! I don’t care. I’m having so much fun regardless.