#gabby x will x ryan

[luke-hughes43]

https://www.tumblr.com/luke-hughes43/767729300502904832/gabby-and-ryan-fixing-things

thank god for james.

jamie help fix it please

for real. even will is thinking to himself, "at least someone is trying. i wish i could be there to do it but i'm glad someone is."

~

james gets them to the locker room, just the 3 of them and gabby tries to walk out when she sees ryan. but james stops her and says, "both of you sit down. now."

"why am i here hagens? i have homework to do." gabby says.

james says, "look, i don't fully understand your relationship and i don't care because it's not my business but you guys need to figure it out and fast because i'm flying blind out there and the two of you are playing like shit because you aren't on the same page. so none of us are leaving this room until you talk. it's been almost 3 weeks, coach is over it, i'm over it, and the guys on the team are over it. so someone start talking or i'm finding new linemates."

ryan sits there rolling his eyes because the freshman should not be telling what to do about his fight with his girlfriend. gabby just pulls her knees to her chest seeing ryan roll his eyes and it makes her think that he doesn't care. she says quietly, "if you don't care enough to fix this, can you just tell me? i'm sick of not knowing what your thinking ryan and being in this limbo of not knowing what to do around you."

ryan says quietly looking at her, "it's not like that gab."

"then what is it ryan?" she asks. he shakes his eyes and lowers his gaze from her. he runs his fingers through his hair trying to figure out what to say without making it worse. he says quietly, "it's never been that i don't care, especially about you. because i love you so much. i just felt like you weren't paying attention to me."

"what do you mean?" gabby asks. ryan is slow to answer and still looking at the floor. gabby says again, "ryan look at me." ryan finally meets her eyes and so she asks again, "what do you mean by that?"

"it's just, i know you had missed will, because i missed him too. and i know that it's been hard without him because we weren't really expecting it but we still had each other which is a lot better than will's situation. but you were always talking about how you missed will and it felt like i wasn't even there even though i was the one holding you every night while you were upset about will. and when something exciting finally happened for me, you weren't there. i told you weeks before it happened that i was getting the a. and i told you that i didn't know when it was coming out that i was in the leadership group. but i didn't think i need to tell you even if i knew because i knew you were gonna be there. getting the a was the best thing that's happened since will left, and i was so excited to share that with you. you were one of two people that i really wanted to share it with and the only one that i knew could be there in the moment. and you weren't. and it hurt so much. i felt abandoned."

"i never meant to do that." gabby says quietly. ryan says, "i know that baby. but that doesn't mean i didn't feel that way. i've been trying so hard to put on a brave face for you because i know it's been hard for you but it's been hard for me too. i was calling will everyday while you were in class trying to figure out what to do to make you smile again. and i had finally felt like i did that and then the next morning you're just gone. and missed the one practice i needed you to be at. and i know i was a dick, i know that. will ripped me a new one when i finally called him, but that doesn't change how i felt. i'll grovel for as long as i need to but i needed you in that moment. and that hurt so much"

gabby lets his words sink in and feels the tears in her eyes. she says, "i'm so sorry ry. i never meant to make you feel like that and i should've paid more attention to how you were feeling instead of worrying about will being gone because your still here. and i love you. i'm sorry ry."

"it's ok baby." ry says and reaches a hand out to her. she accepts and he pulls her in for a hug. she says against his chest, "looks like we both have some groveling to do."

"i know i do." he says and kisses her cheek.

james pipes up from his stall and says, "ok are you guys good now? because i need my linemates back. we have western this week and you guys need to be on your best game."

ryan laughs, “shit hagens i forgot you were here.”

james rolls his eyes jokingly, “i had to make sure you guys were actually good. so…”

“we’re good. it might take a day or two at practice but we’re good. promise.” gabby giggles. ryan tightens his hold on her and she leans her head on his shoulder. james smiles, “well, my job is done now. i’m gonna go get dinner with a girl from class, you two have fun doing whatever it is that you do.”

james walks out and gabby yells, “be nice and use protection!”

ryan laughs and kisses her. she giggles into the kiss and for now, they are ok.

[bucketspammer4life]

what i think your favorite PO boxer says about you

based on my biases and a year of experience (if you get mad over how i talked about your fave im going to turn you into a can of spam)

first time ive ever maxed out the tags

if i missed your fav tell me ‼️

doc louis - you have good taste and are starving for content about him, you really are a survivor

little mac - you either project onto him or just like calling him your son

glass joe - you have a thing for pathetic men (understandable tbh) and like calling him a wet cat since he fits that desc well

von kaiser - same thing as joe but add a hint of "oh no hes hot"

disco kid - you literally have no enemies i love you so much its not even funny (platonic)

king hippo - my god you are good at making up lore, how the fuck do you make a solid personality for a character that only roars and grunts

piston hondo - im 100% youre a saint, no hondo fan i met has ever been unpleasant to talk with

bear hugger - you either see him as a father figure or just think hes hot or (secret third option) you like making jokes about him being a disney princess, either way youre cool

great tiger - oh you have been here for a long time, literally every great tiger fan i know has been in the fandom since 7.000 BC or something, also youre prob really good at art

don flamenco - you use the word "cunty" on a daily basis or just like making fun of his stupid bald head, also yes he has eyeliner on 100%

aran ryan - you'd overthrow a goverment for this greasy rat, youre extremely extremely gay and/or neurodivergent and thats very good for you, you also like making him say lad and have had to go ankle deep in irish slang when making him speak in fanfics

soda popinski - ive never seen someone have soda as their fav, hes always 2nd place somehow so im just gonna go take a shot in the dark and say you like the color pink (mental gymnastics who??)

bald bull - you are a mixed bag, i gen cant put a finger on what kind of personality bull stans have but i can say you either find him hot or like making fun of him, maybe both

super macho man - least serious people ever with some traumatizing lore for the boxers & their own ocs, you prob make him say bogus 88268292 times in a sentence and i can respect that

mr sandman - ive only seen 2 (two ) ppl who have him as their fav and its kinda sad, youre starving for content of him and i wish you the best

birdie mac - hes your son (im not elaborating)

gabby jay - same thing as joe but you went over the top with liking dilfs

narcis prince - gay. gay gay homosexual gay. you went for the self obsessed blonde twink and you thought it wasnt obvious?? you fucking homosexual

heike kagero - youre 1000% queer, sorry to be a broken record about the gay thing but ur fav is literally a man with long hair & makeup that has to be some flavor of queer

hoy quarlow - you are/were another ancient punch out fan, you def shitpost a lot

bruiser bros - where are you??? ive gen never met a bruiser bros fan and its concerning like dude where did u go

texas mac - im sorry but you dont exist, ive never ever seen a texas mac fan, not even someone who mentions him

mad clown - you foul clownfucker. you have weird taste in characters you find hot and tbh im all here for it

masked muscle - same thing as texas mac but theres a slight chance you exist, if you do please show yourself

dragon chan - another punch out ancient fan, you probably were most active in 2013-2019 and kinda miss old shitposts and have either moved on or dont participate much anymore

spo aran - (this is mostly for Charlie but i have hope that theres some other spo aran fans out there) youre probably looking for other spo aran fans, goodpeed soldier, goodpeed

mask x - you arent getting away with this fuck you

[fingerless-glovez]

Loathe as I am to admit this was heavily inspired by the Barbie movies I've been watching in preparation for the big one, they do speak my language very fluently.

[punchouttournament]

THE TUMBLR PUNCH-OUT TOURNAMENT SHALL NOW BEGIN!

Yes, there are multiple characters going up against themselves. Because there aren't enough boxers in this series. Also it's really funny!

This post will shortly be reblogged with all the matchup polls!

[alphawolfice1989]

The similarities between the notebook and the choice

Allie cheated on Lon with Noah in the Notebook

Gabby cheated on Ryan with Travis in the choice

[kaitlinj16]

"I'll give you a hint. Where do women go when they break off their engagements?" -Ryan McCarthy, The Choice (2016)

💙💙💙

[queer-xmen-tournament]

The Tournament Begins!

~Round 1~

Group A:

Tempo (Heather Tucker) vs. Loa (Alani Ryan) - winner faces off against Morph (Benjamin Deeds) in Round 2!

Scout (Gabby Kinney) vs. Iceman (Bobby Drake)

Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Ellie Phimister) vs Karma (Xuân Cao Mạnh)

Group B:

Northstar (Jean-Paul Beaubier) vs. Jumbo Carnation

Rachel Summers vs. Hindsight (Nathaniel Carver)

Morgan Red vs. Pyro (Simon Lasker)

Galura (Elle Diwa) vs. Fang (Akihiro) vs. Christian Frost

Group C:

Destiny (Irene Adler) vs. Bling! (Roxy Washington) - winner faces off against Magik (Illyana Rasputin) in Round 2!

Escapade (Shela Sexton) vs. Anole (Victor Borkowski) 

Captain Britain (Betsy Braddock) vs. Theia 

Group D:

Rictor (Julio Richter) vs. Jonas Graymalkin

Kate Pryde vs. Prodigy (David Alleyne) 

Shatterstar vs. Mercury (Cessily Kincaid) 

Somnus (Carl Valentino) vs. Mystique (Raven Darkholme) vs. Ultimate Universe Colossus (Piotr Rasputin)

Group A goes up tonight - let the games begin!

[blisslight2005]

My Best TV Shows:

Spongebob Squarepants

The Loud House

The Casagrandes

The Sumrfs (series 1981 and series 2021)

The Powerpuff Girls

Looney tunes

Dexter's Laboratory

Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi

Phineas And Ferb

Hilda

Steven universe

Adventure time

Regular show

Boy girl dog cat mouse cheese

Magiki

The Patrick Star Show

Monster High

Ben 10 (original series)

Beavis And Butt-Head

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)

Pucca

Harvey Girls Forever!

The Adventures Of Rocky And Bullwinkle

Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Trolls: TrollsTopia

Dora the Explorer

Rock, Paper, Scissors, (nickelodeon series tv cartoon)

And Family Guy

Honorable Mentions: Teen Titans Go! (Naturel), My Life As A Teenage Robot, The Fairly Oddparents, Rugrats, All Grown Up, Rocket Power, The Adventures Of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, Danny Phantom, T.U.F.F Puppy, ICarly, Victorious, Sam And Cat, Henry Danger, The Adventures Of Kid Danger, The Amanda Show, Kenan And Kel, Big Time Rush, The Naked Brothers Band, It's Pony! Ollie's Pack, Bunsen Is A Beast, Harvey Beaks, Teen Titans, Kikoumba, Pokemon, Annoying Orange, Animaniacs, The Looney Tunes Show, Mighty Magiswords, Milo Murphy's Law, Star Vs. The Force Of Evil, Gravity Falls, Ducktales, House Of Mouse, The Replacements, Recess, American Dad, The Simpsons, The Cleveland Show, Bob's Burgers, Bless The Harts, Duncanville, Beavis & Butt-Head, The Masked Singer, King Of The Hill, Rick And Morty, Robot Chicken, Minecraft: Story Mode, The Mr. Peabody And Sherman Show, 3Below: Tales of Arcadia, The Adventures Of The Puss In Boots, Trolls: The Beat Goes On! DreamWorks Dragons: Rescue Riders, Home: Adventures Of Tip & Oh, Glitch Techs, Disenchantment, Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous, The Boss Baby: Back In Business, Trollhunters, Fast & Furious: Spy Racers, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Pac-Man And The Ghostly Adventures, Sonic X, Sonic Underground, Sonic Boom, Power Rangers, Totally Spies, Strawberry Shortcake (special 1980s,series 2003,Bitty Berry Adventures), Teen Titans, Courage the Cowardly Dog And South Park

My Worst TV Shows:

Kid Vs. Kat

Caillou

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

Gabby's Dollhouse

Miracle Star

Mickey And The Roadster Racers

Mickey Mouse Mixed Up Adventures

Sanjay And Craig

Happy Tree Friends

The Really Loud House

Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years

Peppa Pig

Dora (2024)

Baby Shark's Big Show!

And CocoMelon

Dishonorable Mentions: Oishi High School Battle, Kiddyzuzaa Land, Barney, Dora the Explorer, Block 13, The Problem Solverz, Secret Mountain Fort Awesome! The Samsonadzes, Ryan's Mystery Playdate, Hero Elementary, The Book Of Pooh, Sesame Street, Sofia The First, Sunny Bunnies, PJ Masks, Franny's Feet, Rainbow Butterfly Unicorn Kitty, WordGirl, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, Doc McStuffins, The Powerpuff Girls For 2016, Robocar Poli, Winx Club, Doki, Jay Jay The Jet Plane, Glitter Force, Miraculous: Tales Of Lady Bug And Cat Noir, Super Why! Sunny Day, Coconut Fred's Fruit Salad Island, Too Loud! Miracle Star, Dora And Friends: Into The City, Rob The Robot, Abby Hatcher, Allen Gregory, Strawberry Shortcake Berry in Big City And Teen Titans Go! (Naturel).

[femslashrevolution]

Popular Pairing List Update

The following pairings have more than 10 recent posts in their pairing tag, and are therefore too popular to be posted on Rarepair Thursdays:

Amalia True x Penance Adair (The Nevers)

Anita St. Pierre x Della Street (Perry Mason)

Anne Boonchuy x Sasha Waybright (Amphibia)

Ava Coleman x Janine Teagues (Abbott Elementary)

Carol Aird x Therese Belivet (Carol)

Cinta Kaz x Vel Sartha (Star Wars)

Drea Torres x Eleanor Levetan (Do Revenge)

Eleanor Levetan x Gabbi Broussard (Do Revenge)

Eleanor Roosevelt x Lorena Hickok (The First Lady)

Ellie x Riley Abel (HBO The Last Of Us)

Emily Prentiss x Jennifer Jareau (Criminal Minds)

Frannie Langton x Marguerite Benham (The Confessions of Frannie Langton)

Katherine Hastings x Sadie Ryan (American Auto)

KJ Brandman x Mac Coyle (Amazon Paper Girls)

Lily Evans x Narcissa Malfoy (Harry Potter)

Mia Reed x Vada Cavell (The Fallout)

Midge Maisel x Susie Myerson (The Marvelous Mrs Maisel)

Miorine Rembran x Suletta Mercury (Mobile Suit Gundam Wing)

Natasha Romanoff x Peggy Carter (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

The following pairings have been posted less frequently recently, and have therefore been removed from the popular pairing list:

Addy Hanlon x Beth Cassidy (Dare Me)

Alex Danvers x Kelly Olsen (Supergirl)

Alex Vause x Piper Chapman (Orange Is The New Black)

Alexis Rose x Twyla Sands (Schitt’s Creek)

Allison Argent x Lydia Martin (Teen Wolf)

Andi Mack x Buffy Driscoll (Andi Mack)

Anne Shirley x Diana Barry x Ruby Gillis (Anne With An E)

Buffy Summers x Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Caitlin Snow x Iris West (The Flash)

Camina Drummer x Naomi Nagata (The Expanse)

Cosima Niehaus x Delphine Cormier (Orphan Black)

Dinah Lance x Helena Bertinelli (DCU)

Eleanor Shellstrop x Tahani Al Jamil (The Good Place)

Finch Tarrayo x Josie Saltzman (Legacies)

Greta Moreno x Riley Luo (Generation)

Hannah Miller x Sarah Fier (Fear Street)

Hermione Granger x Narcissa Malfoy (Harry Potter)

Ji-yeong x Kang Sae-byeok (Squid Game)

Joan x Zoey Clarke (Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist)

Kathryn Janeway x Seven of Nine (Star Trek: Voyager)

Lady Hideko x Sook Hee (The Handmaiden)

Laurel Lance x Nyssa al Ghul (Arrow)

Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

Neopolitan x Yang Xiao Long (RWBY)

Nora Grace x Viri Gómez (Skam Spain)

Paris Geller x Rory Gilmore (Gilmore Girls)

River Song x Thirteenth Doctor (Doctor Who)

Seo Ji-wan x Yoon Sol (Nevertheless)

Shane McCutcheon x Tess Van De Berg (The L Word)

[socaprince]

SOCA THERAPY - SEPTEMBER 29, 2024

Soca Therapy Playlist

Sunday September 29th 2024

Making You Wine From 6-9pm on Flow 98.7fm Toronto

Fire In The Wire (Dr. Jay Plate) - Calypso Rose

I Don't Mind - Winston Soso

Inez - Ras Iley

Wine On Something - The Mighty Swallow

Not Me Is The Music - Tambu

The Party Hot Hot Hot - Iwer George

Doh Back Back - The Mighty Sparrow

Hit It - Mighty Gabby

Nani Wine - Crazy

Bass Man - The Mighty Shadow

Soca Baptist - Super Blue

Mash It Up - Jayson

Raise Yuh Hand - Flying Cloud

Soca Train - Maximus Dan

Soca Train - Gypsy

Tiney Winey - Byron Lee & The Dragonaires

Ah Feeling To Rock - Plain Clothes

Rock It - Merchant

Netty, Netty - Roaring Lion

Juantana Mera - Burning Flames

Talk - Barbados Troubadours

TOP 7 COUNTDOWN - Powered By The Soca Source

Top Soca from the living legend David Rudder streamed on Spotify

7. Bahia Girl

6. Rally Round the West Indies

5. Madness

4. The Hammer

3. Calypso Music

2. High Mas

1. Trini To The Bone feat. Carl Jacobs

Soucouyant - GBM Nutron x DJ Private Ryan x David Rudder x Paul Keens Douglas

Ooh La La - Becket

Betty Goaty - Penguin

Don't Try That - Crazy

Ten To One Is Murder - The Mighty Sparrow

Year For Love - Voice

PAN MOMENTS

This Feelin' Nice - Phase II Pan Groove

TANTY TUNE

(1974) Endless Vibrations - Lord Shorty

Endless Vibration - Marge Blackman x Nailah Blackman

Ah Feel To Party - Black Stalin

Miami Vibes - Rootsman

Get Up And Dance - Leston Paul & The New York Connection

Tell Me Why - Baron

Sugar Bum Bum - Lord Kitchener

Disco Daddy - Lord Nelson

Judith - Scrunter

Soca Rhumba - Arrow

NORTHERN PRESCRIPTION

I Like Calypso - Elsworth James feat. Ian "Sunshine" Wiltshire

Bacchanal Time - Superblue

Work - Denise Belfon

Come - Silhouette

Hold Your Bam Bam - Speedy

Dr. Cassandra - The Mighty Gabby

Follow Dr. Jay @socaprince​ and @socatherapy

“Like” Dr. Jay on http://facebook.com/DrJayOnline

[cocktailsfairytales]

RELEASE BLITZ

THANK YOU for signing up to receive ALL of DS_Promotions promotional posts. Below are posts for sharing on SOCIAL MEDIA.

New Release of Love on the Clock romance anthology brought to you by The New Romance Cafe.

This is Live on August 14, and we would greatly appreciate posting any time on this date after 6.00AM EST that you have available to share with your readers.

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UPLOAD YOUR REVIEW LINKS HERE

✩✩✩ RELEASE BLITZ ✩✩✩

Love on the Clock

An Office Romance Anthology

Romance Café Collection: Book 35

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/200569229/

Genre: Contemporary Romance

Trope: Office Romance

AMAZON

https://books2read.com/tnrc2024loveontheclock

*Read on Kindle Unlimited*

Description:

Never mix business with pleasure

This collection of CEOs, assistants, partners and consultants have forgotten Office Rule No.1.

Whether it’s passion over the printer, scandal in the stationery cupboard,or loosened ties in the boardroom, these co-workers are getting hot under the collar.

Join us around the Romance Café water cooler to discover the latest office scuttlebutt.

Participating Authors:

Clarice Jayne

Sharon Michalove

Debra Deasey

Angelica Kate

Keighley Bradford

Kristine Charles

Élodie Garroway

Chele MacCabe

Lisabelle Chretien

Amy Stephens

Wynter Ryan

Katherine Moore

Harper Michaels

Sonja Flowers

Niki Trento

Abigail Sharpe

Anna Allen

Francis Black

Gabbi Black

Bella Paige

Michelle Moncrieff

About The New Romance Café

The New Romance Café is the place to get your daily dose of romance books.

Hang out with like-minded readers and authors at different stages of their writing journey, in a diverse and inclusive group.

Find out about new releases, take part in fun discussions, and recommend your favourite reads in the safe space of the Café.

The New Romance Café Links

Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thenewromancecafe

Website: https://thenewromancecafe.com/

Romance Café Publishing: https://romancecafepublishing.com/

Hosted by DS Book Promotions

#NewRelease #availablenow #loveontheclock #workromance #officeromance #romancecollection #anthology #romance #romancereaders #fyp #booklovers #kindleunlimited #books #authorsofig #TheNewRomanceCafe #bookish #bookloversunite #TNRC #dsbookpromotions

@The New Romance Cafe @DS Book Promotions

[luke-hughes43]

Hi gabby ryan will anon back how does ryan react? and will to her calling him??? or did he answer then if it was afternoon practice like 2 or 3 it would be 10 or 11 for him right?

when ryan hears her say that she's tired of fighting if he's already gone from the relationship, he almost breaks down. bc that's never what he meant to do. he was just upset and didn't know how to process his emotions.

gabby doesn't call will right away, she goes back to her dorm and showers in peace, and then gets dinner with some of her friends from class and does homework before calling him so that she can unwind and not have a breakdown on the phone with will.

will is definitely upset with ryan because there's no excuse for treating her that way. on top of will seeing how much she's struggling without him there now that ryan is being a dick.

gabby definitely cries on the phone with will, saying, "i love him so much will. as much as i love you. and i hate the i hurt him but now he's hurting me and he doesn't seem to realize or care. hagens was literally almost fighting him and he still didn't get it. what else can i do? i can't do this without both of you."

"i know gab. i know baby. he's being a big idiot, and he's dodging my calls so i can't even talk sense into him. but i do know that you can so do this baby. you are such a strong woman and you don't need me or ry to absolutely dominate out there. you can do anything you set your mind to gabby. don't let anyone tell you different."

"thanks will." gabby says with a small smile. will smiles too, "always. what does coach have to say about the whole thing?"

"he was obviously pissed off that i skipped practice and didn't tell anyone. especially the practice that was announcing leadership but he said that given it's the first time i've ever done that and i was showing up early and staying late afterwards, he cut me a small break and only benched me for the exhibition game but isn't benching me for the first game."

"could've been worse. and you're never gonna do that again no matter how much you miss me right?" will confirms. gabby nods, "i won't do it again i promise. definitely a lapse in judgement."

"good girl." will says to her. gabby sighs, "i just want ryan back."

"i know. he'll come around. if not, then he won't have a girlfriend or a boyfriend." will says. gabby shakes her head, "will, you have to do that."

"he doesn't get to be a dick to you and expect me to still wanna be him. you deserve the world and i wanna do everything i can to give it to you, with or without him. i love him but he doesn't get to be an asshole just because he's upset."

"thank you. i'm gonna head to bed bc i wanna get a early lift in, i'll call tomorrow babe." gabby says as she gets in bed. will smiles, "alright baby. i'll talk to you tomorrow. good night, i love you."

"love you too." gabby says and hangs up. she plugs her phone in and curls in her bed missing both of her boys and just want to be in their arms.

[prison-mikes-bandana]

Gabby and deadpool are best friends now!!!

[toomuchtv95]

Struggling Chapter 1

Characters: Jay Halstead, Hank Voight, Antonio Dawson

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader (Eventually) 

Word Count: 3.1k+

Chapter Warnings: Angst, Sadness, Talk about PTSD and Anxiety, Swearing

A/N: I know this chapter is a little boring, but it’s only the first chapter. I promise the rest shouldn’t be. 

Series Masterlist

This morning was one of those mornings where you felt like you weren’t going to get through the day. After taking your medication, you started to feel better. You had called your dad saying you were going to be late and he didn’t have to ask. As you arrived at the district, you half waved to Trudy as you headed up the stairs. Upon arriving upstairs, you could see that the team was deep in a case. You glanced at Antonio's empty desk, and it doesn’t look like he was even here. As you discarded your jacket on the back of your chair, your father appeared in the doorway of his office and you knew he was looking for you.

“Everything alright?” You walked into his office and sat down on the couch.

“I’m fine. Just having one of those days.” You looked down at your fingers not wanting to make eye contact with him.

“Are you sure?” Your father sat next to you on the sofa, pulling you into his side. You let out a small sob not realizing you were holding back. After a few minutes, the tears stopped and you gathered yourself. "Listen why don't you take the day off?"

“If I go home. I’ll just be worse. My therapist says that I need to keep my mind busy.” You stood up from the couch and headed outside to the bullpen.

“Okay, you and Halstead today.” Your father spoke from behind you, causing you to look at him with some confusion. “Antonio’s out today. Something came. Halstead, fill her in on the case.” Your dad disappeared into his office.

“I’m about to head out. Fill you on the way.” You nodded your head as you walked back over to your desk grabbing your jacket before following Jay.

After Jay filled you on the case the two of your sat in a comfortable silence until you decided to break it. “So, how’s the security job going?”

“It’s good. Never thought I would be working in the marijuana business.” You let out a chuckled as you stared out the window.

“It’s the new thing and hey, medical marijuana has been proven to help people who need it.” Pulling away from the window you glanced at Jay who was still skeptical about the whole thing.

“Hey, if your so fond of it I can get you in.” You looked at Jay who you couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

“Yeah, no. I’ll stick to chasing bad guys, but thanks for the offer.” Jay pulled up to the curb in front of the address of the house the two of you were looking for. “This is the address?” You pointed to a red brick house with a white porch swing.

"Yeah, that's the address." The two of you walked up the sidewalk towards the house and as you approached the house you got this bad feeling.

The two of you stood in front of the door as Jay knocked. “Sarah Watson. Chicago PD. We need to ask you some questions.”

“Well, someone’s home there a car in the driveway.” You stepped to the side to see if you could get a look inside which you did, and you saw a body. “Jay. Body.” Both of you drew your guns before Jay kicked in the door. You made your way towards the body and when you saw here there were stab wounds to her abdomen. You squatted down to check her pulse, but it was too late. You shook your head no to Jay before he headed upstairs.

You slowly made your way through the living room and just as you were about to head into the kitchen you heard squeaking of the floorboards from behind you. As you turned around, Michael Watson, slammed you into a nearby wall causing you to drop your gun on the floor. You struggled against the wall and luckily Jay came up and grabbed Michael. “You alright?”

“Yeah.” You let out a breath as Jay handcuffed Michael. As you grabbed your gun from the floor, Jay grabbed his radio and called the situation in.

“Hey Y/N the usual?” Gabby appeared behind the bar with a rag in hand and then leaned forward on the bar top.

“Actually, I’ll take a whiskey and make it double.” You took off your coat and hung on the back of the chair before taking a seat.

“Rough day?” Gabby poured you your drink as you nodded your head slightly. “Okay, well let me know if you need anything else.” Taking a sip of your whiskey, you looked around the bar to see the crowd starting to pick up.

After having a few drinks, you started to feel the alcohol take effect and you needed to stop before you do something you'll regret. You said goodbye to Gabby and made your way through the crowd and once the cold air from outside hit you, you instantly became sober. Walking outside, you leaned against the brick wall and everything started to hit you at once. Your eyes were burning, and your chest felt heavy as if it were someone who was sitting on top of you. You were so sick of crying. You were sick of being alone, but you couldn’t even imagine where to start to find a new life.

Pushing yourself away from the wall, you wiped your tears and composed yourself. As you rounded the corner, you bumped into someone causing you to look up from the ground. “Jay.” You breathed out and took a step back. “What are you doing here?”

“Well I saw you leaving the bar upset about something and I just wanted to make sure you got a cab okay.” Jay looked at you and he could see the tear stains on your face along with the puffiness in your eyes. “Come on let me take you home.”

“Okay.” You nodded your head as Jay guided you to his car. The car ride back to your apartment was quiet which gave you time to put yourself together. As Jay pulled up to you, apartment building, you just sat there not wanting to go inside to an empty apartment.

“Y/N, is everything okay?” Jay reached over and grabbed hold of your hand causing you to look up at him.

“I’m just having a rough couple of days.” You pulled your hand away from Jay to unbuckle your seatbelt. You opened the door and climbing out. "Thanks for the ride, Jay. I'll see you Monday at work." Once you made it inside your apartment, you leaned against your door and closed your eyes to hold back the tears.

After gathered yourself yet again, you took a hot shower, changed into your PJs, and grabbed a water from the fridge there was a soft knock on the door. Setting the water on the counter, you walked over to the door and opened it to see Jay standing there with a bag of Chinese take-out. All you did was give him a soft smile while opening the door wider for him. “I couldn’t go home without making sure you were okay.”

“Come in.” You closed the door behind him and headed back into the kitchen to grab him a drink. “Can I get you something to drink?”

"I'll take water." Jay set up the food on the coffee table, while you grabbed a bottle of water from Jay and silverware.

“You didn’t have to come back, Jay. I’m okay.” Handing Jay his water, you sat down on the couch as he handed you a carton of food.

“I know there something going on with you lately. You’ve more distinct than usual.” Jay took a seat next to you and took a bite of his food. Over the last 2 years, you have been debating on telling Jay about your late husband, because hiding it in for this long is no good. But you didn’t want to tell people because you didn’t any empathy from anyone.

"Ever since I left the Army, I've been struggling with anxiety and PTSD, and some days it gets the best of me.” Jay knew the basics about your time in the Army just as you did about his time in the Army and you weren’t lying when you said it started since the Army, because it’s kind of did. It got worse once your husband died.

“Yeah, I know what that’s like.” Jay took a sip of his water.

“I’m on some medication that helps, and I use to see a therapist once a week, now it’s about once a month.” You stared in front of you at nothing in particular. “Some of the stuff I saw, it’s hard to forget.”

“You know if you ever want to talk, I’m here.” You turned to look at him with a soft smile. “Now how about some TV?” You nodded your head as Jay grabbed the remote from the table and turned on the TV.

The rest of the night, you and Jay sat on the couch eating take-out and watching some corny movie on TV before the two of you fell asleep on the couch. It wasn’t till you woke up in the middle of the night to see that you Jay had moved to the other couch and you couldn’t help but smile. You quietly got up, not to wake Jay in the process. Grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch, you gently laid it over Jay before turning both TV and light and heading into your bedroom. As you laid in bed, you stared up at ceiling fan and you couldn’t help but think that Jay could have left at any point of the night, but he said and you couldn’t help but smile. Turning onto your side, you opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out a photo of you and Ryan. In less than a week, it would mark the 2nd anniversary of your husband's death and it still felt like it happened yesterday that those people in uniform knocked on your door.

That was the day your world flipped upside down. You two were only married for about 6 months and you barely enjoyed being married. The two of you got married a month before he was called back to active duty and it was hard for you two to communicate. The first two months, you talked through video chat and letters, but as the months went on the conversations started to fade. Tears started to form in your eyes as you thought back to all the years you spent with Ryan. You closed your eyes as you quietly cried yourself to sleep.

The Next Day

Waking up this morning, Jay was gone so he must have slipped out before you woke up. Jay, of course, left a note saying he had to work his security job, and he would call you later to check in on you. You spent the morning cleaning up the mess you and Jay had created when you heard a soft knock on the door. You were confused about who it could be, so you answered the door with caution. Slowly opening the door, you saw Antonio standing there with his hand in his pockets.

“What are doing here?” You let Antonio in before shutting the door behind him.

“Thought we could grab some lunch since I have the weekend free. The kids are with Laura this weekend.”

“Yeah, okay. Let me just change.” You disappeared into the bedroom and changed into a pair of jeans and a plain black shirt. Walking over to your gun safe, you punched in the code and grabbed your gun and badge.

Once you and Antonio arrived at the diner that you two usually have lunch at, and you ordered your lunch. “So, what’s the real reason for lunch today?” You sipped your coke as you looked at Antonio who had a concerned look on his face.

“I’m just checking in.”

“Next week marks two years since Ryan was killed.” You played with the ice in your cup with the straw. “And I still struggling to move on.”

Antonio reached over and held your hand for comfort. "I don't know how to say this without upsetting, so I'm just going to come out and say it.” You looked up at Antonio not ready to hear him, but you know he wasn’t going to stop. “I think the only way to move on is to say goodbye. You’ve been holding on for something that not going to happen. You loved him and I’m not saying you need to forget him but you need to move on so you can be happy again.”

You pulled away as you saw the waitress come with your food. You both thanked her as she left you to eat. “How do I do that?” You picked up a fry and took a bite.

“I don’t know. You gotta figure that out for yourself.” Antonio took a bite of his burger as you ate some of your chicken wrap sandwich. “Whatever you decided I will be there for you.”

The two of you ate in silence before you spoke up. “Jay drove me home last night after having a couple of drinks and having a minor breakdown. Then he came back with food and won’t leave until I was okay.” Chewing another fry, you looked up Antonio who had a small smile on his face. He always liked the thought of you and Jay together as more than friends, but you didn't see Jay that way or you didn't for a long time, but now you weren’t sure how you felt. You've and Jay got a lot closer in the last couple of months. “He spent the night.”

“Really?” You could hear the shock in his voice.

“Nothing happened. He fell asleep on the couch and I went to sleep in my bed. He left in the morning and left a note saying he had to work his security job." Antonio raised an eyebrow at you. “Shut up. We are just friends. I don’t like him that way.”

“You know it’s okay to like or fall in love with someone. Ryan would want you to be happy.”  You didn’t say anything else and just continued to eat in silence.

After lunch, Antonio dropped you off at home and now you needed to figure things out. You had gotten a text from Jay which you replied and went on to doing something you needed to do. Making your way to your bedroom, you opened the top drawer of your dresser and grabbed the envelope that was marked with your name. Taking a deep breath, you sat on the floor with your back against the foot of the bed and started at the letter. There were tearstains on there from when you had first gotten the letter and all the other times you have read the letter. Opening the envelope, you pulled out the letter with shaky hands.

Dear Y/N,

I’m sitting in our bedroom, the night before I am set to deploy, and I don’t know how to start this letter. Expect to say that I love you and that you meant the world to me.

If you are reading this letter, it means I’m gone. I hope my death wasn’t a long painful death. Writing this letter brings me pains me as much it does for you to read it.

The last 3 years of my life with you have been the best, and I hope they were the same for you. I can only imagine how you’re feeling. Angry, upset, pissed, sad, the list could go on, but with time it will all go away, and you will be able to be happy again. I know that you hate me for leaving, but it’s my job to serve this country. So, do whatever you have to do to let the anger out. Scream at the top of your lungs, hit the boxing gym, or whatever to let the anger out, just don’t hold it in. Then once you let the anger out, lean on someone for support. I know you will try to be strong on your own and push people away but don't.

Be happy, I want you to be happy. I need you to be happy. I need you to move and find someone. I know you think I’m crazy for telling you to find someone after I’m gone but I don’t want you to be alone. You deserve to happy. You deserve to be loved by someone. You deserve to have the life you want. I’m not saying right away but in time you will be ready, and when you are, don't let anything get in your way of finding love again. And when you feel like you found that someone, you’re going to have to let me go. I’m not saying to forget me, because I wouldn’t want you to, but I would want you to share your life with someone and to be happy again.

Hate me all you want, but I need you to let me go when the time is right. Don’t hold on to me for too long because if you do then you will never be able to find love again. With all that said, I hope when you find him, he's the one. I hope he makes you happy. I hope he gives you the life and family you want.

I’m sorry we didn’t get the life we wanted. I know we barely had time to be married. I know we wanted a future together and I am sorry that it’s not going to happen now. God, did I not think this was how it was going to end. I thought we were going to be with each other till the end of time. I hate that I had to write this letter. I hate that I had to leave you and especially hate that I will never be able to hold you again and tell you that I love you. I never in my life did I imagine I would find someone to share it with until you came along. When you came into my life, I knew I was in trouble. I never believed in love at first sight until I meet you. I can sit here and list all the moments we had together but that would just make you cry even more, and I don't want to do that to you.

So, like I started this letter by saying I love you, I am going to end it in the same way. I love you, don't forget that.

-Yours always, Ryan

As you folded the paper back up, you held it close to your chest as you let out a weep. No matter how many times you had read this letter, it means more to you now then it did when you first read it. Letting go and moving on is the first step to being happy again.

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[dominik528]

What I read in 2020, from worst to best

1. Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng - ★☆☆☆☆ (review)

2. Rules of Civility by Amor Towles - ★☆☆☆☆ (review)

3. Love Traveling by Hitomi- ★☆☆☆☆

4. The Red Queen by Philippa Gregory - ★★☆☆☆ (review)

5. The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo - ★★☆☆☆

6. Trinkets by Kirsten Smith - ★★☆☆☆

7. The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros -★★☆☆☆

8. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson - ★★☆☆☆

9.The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick - ★★☆☆☆

10. Where'd You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple - ★★☆☆☆

11.Avenue of Mysteries by John Irvings - ★★☆☆☆

12. The Expatriates by Janice Y.K. Lee - ★★★☆☆ (review)

13. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo - ★★★☆☆ (review)

14. The Complete Peanuts, Vol. 10 (1969 - 1970) by Charles Schulz - ★★★☆☆ (review)

15. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden - ★★★☆☆ (review)

16. Kill the Boy Band by Goldy Moldavsky - ★★★☆☆ (review)

17. Alphabet of Dreams by Susan Fletcher - ★★★☆☆ (review)

18. Girls on Fire by Robin Wasserman - ★★★☆☆ (review)

19. Archenemy by Frank Beddor - ★★★☆☆

20. Finally & 13 Gifts by Wendy Mass - ★★★☆☆

21. No One to Trust by Melody Carlson - ★★★☆☆

21. Girl in the Train by Paula Hawkins - ★★★☆☆

22. Empress of the World by Sara Ryan - ★★★☆☆

23. On the Come Up by Angie Thomas - ★★★☆☆

24. 13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson - ★★★☆☆

25. Clueless: Senior Year by Amber Benson - ★★★☆☆

26. This Book is Not Yet Rated by Peter Bognanni - ★★★☆☆

27. The Summer of Jordi Perez by Amy Spalding - ★★★☆☆

28. Blue is the Warmest Color by Julie Maroh - ★★★☆☆

29. Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote- ★★★☆☆

30. Bone Gap by Laura Ruby - ★★★☆☆

31. Lilac Girls by Martha Kelly - ★★★☆☆

32. The DUFF by Kody Keplinger - ★★★☆☆

33. Eggs by Jerry Spinelli - ★★★☆☆

34. Dumplin' & Puddin' by Julie Murphy - ★★★☆☆

35. The Body by Stephen King - ★★★☆☆

36. L: Change the World by M - ★★★☆☆

37. Sadie by Courtney Summers- ★★★☆☆

38. The Graveyard Shift by Neil Gaiman- ★★★☆☆

39. Save the Date by Morgan Matson - ★★★☆☆

40. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick - ★★★☆☆

41. Neil Gaiman's How to Talk to Girls at Parties by Fábio Moon - ★★★☆☆

42. Jughead, Vol. 3 by Ryan North - ★★★☆☆

43. Archie, Vol. 5 by Mark Waid - ★★★☆☆

44. Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Vol. 2 by Young Kim, Stephanie Meyer - ★★★☆☆

45. Sôdôk by Sheri Holman - ★★★☆☆

46. Staying Strong: 365 Days a Year by Demi Lovato - ★★★☆☆

47. The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah- ★★★★☆ (spoiler review)

48. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd - ★★★★☆ (spoiler review)

49. Marlene by C.W. Gortner - ★★★★☆ (review)

50. Thomas Jefferson Dreams of Sally Hemings by Stephen O'Connor - ★★★★☆ (review)

51. The Siren by Kiera Cass - ★★★★☆ (review)

52. Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick - ★★★★☆ (review)

53. Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates - ★★★★☆ (review)

54. The Beguiled by Thomas Cullinan - ★★★★☆ (review)

55. The Turn of the Key by Ruth Ware - ★★★★☆ (review)

56. Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews - ★★★★☆ (review)

57. Rutta & Kodama, Volumes 1 - 3 by Youko Fujitani - ★★★★☆ (review)

58. Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Vol. 1 by Young Kim, Stephanie Meyer - ★★★★☆ (review)

59. The House of Impossible Beauties by Joseph Cassara- ★★★★☆ (review)

60. Harry Potter 1 - 3 by J.K. Rowling - ★★★★☆

61. Esperanza Rising & Becoming Naomi León by Pam Muñoz Ryan - ★★★★☆

62. Sweetest Spell by Suzanne Selfors - ★★★★☆

63. Teen Titans: Raven by Kami Garcia- ★★★★☆

64. Two Boys Kissing by David Levithan - ★★★★☆

65. Blended by Sharon Draper - ★★★★☆

66. Shanghai Girls & Dreams of Joy by Lisa See - ★★★★☆

67. The Complete Peanuts, Vol. 25 (1999 - 2000) by Charles Schulz - ★★★★☆

68. The Ice Cream Queen of Orchard Street by Susan Jane Gilman - ★★★★☆

69. Jahanara by Kathryn Lasky- ★★★★☆

70. Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn - ★★★★☆

71. Zombie by Joyce Carol Oates - ★★★★☆

72. Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera - ★★★★☆

73. So Far From Home by Barry Denenberg - ★★★★☆

74. Soundless by Richelle Mead - ★★★★☆

75. Mockingbird by Kathryn Erskine - ★★★★☆

76. This One Summer by Mariko & Jillian Tamaki - ★★★★☆

77. Archie, Vol. 6 by Mark Waid - ★★★★☆

78. Cut by Patricia McCormick- ★★★★☆

79. Girl in Pieces by Kathleen Glasgow- ★★★★☆

80. Jughead, Vol. 2 by Chip Zdarsky- ★★★★☆

81. Reggie & Me by Tom DeFalco - ★★★★☆

82. Radio Silence by Alice Oseman- ★★★★☆

83. Number the Stars & The Giver by Lois Lowry - ★★★★☆

84. Attack on Titan, Vol. 2, 3, 6 & 7 by Hajime Isayama - ★★★★☆

85. Call, Silent Night & Ice Dolls by Hitomi - ★★★★☆

86. Princess Ai, vol. 3 by Courtney Love & DJ Milky - ★★★★☆

87. Attack on Titan, Vol. 1, 4 & 5 by Hajime Isayama- ★★★★★ ( review , review )

88. Princess Ai, Vol. 1 & 2 by Courtney Love & DJ Milky - ★★★★★ (review)

89. Flower by Hitomi - ★★★★★ (review)

[kaitlinj16]

"Are those for someone special?" - Ryan McCarthy