#funny and normal robot tag

[spectrumspace]

> "seven sallies" > looks inside > nine

[tmos-time]

hi

so uhhh this line in your erisol understuck post "not getting into all the ELABORATE thoughts i have on how the geno route would go"

…………can we have some of it????I'm dying of curiousity ever since I read that post lol

also just to let you know that your aus are all very fabulous and they live in my brain rent free all the time. i was wondering do you mind fanart??

aww thank you, i don't mind at all! would love to be tagged if anyone makes any <3

as for the understuck geno route; here's a loose plot path for it!

basically, the plan would be to have a split in how the route could theoretically go; a normal version of the route following close enough to undertale's canon events with the characters given, and a secret route for speedrunners because sollux deserves to have a proper battle at the chagrin of people trying to speedrun LOL

[adhbombus]

I love the running gag that’s Norm just does some crazy shit and then Doof is like a “damn really? I gotta read that instruction manual “and norms like “Yes you should.:)”

[bitzy-bop]

hi [collapses on the ground and freaking dies]

[whumpercars]

Imagine if whumpers had tumblr and made shitposts. that’d be so stupid, luckily that’s just made up. totally don’t look under the cut for a fake dashboard post exactly like that

💿 grabhimbythewires Follow

guys my robot whumpee stopped reacting to pain :( has this happened to anyone else? what should I do?

❤️‍🩹 crowbars-and-chainsaws Follow

take this w/ a grain of salt, (because I never owned a robot whumpee before) but my mutual said that happened to them when their whumpee’s battery got old! if you get them repaired, they should be back to normal :)

( 129 notes )

#good luck with that! #really sucks when robots break down #by that i mean when the break not in the way you want them to #;)

🍋 whump-tothemoon-andback Follow

Seriously can’t believe theirs living weapon discourse on my dashboard in the year of our lord 2025. thought we left that behind last year.

🩻 hurtwithextracomfort Follow

okay but having an ‘emotionless, ghost in the shell’ type weapon literally takes all the fun out of training them. where’s the defiance? where’s the shock when they realize they physically can’t disobey? where’s the screaming and crying in pain?

also, *there’s lol

🗡️ weaponsofthelivingkind Follow

some trainers can’t deal with a defiant whumpee. not everyone has the spoons for that. if you’re ableist, just say that, don’t bring weapons into this.

🍋 whump-tothemoon-andback Follow

this post was not an invitation to debate about this omfg

🗡️ weaponsofthelivingkind Follow

no one was talking to you but go off i guess

🍋 whump-tothemoon-andback Follow

THIS IS MY POST????

🩻 hurtwithextracomfort Follow

not anymore. me and weaponsofthelivingkind have joint custody of this post now. @.weaponsofthelivingkind i’m taking this post to the zoo tomorrow

🗡️ weaponsofthelivingkind Follow

ok babe thank you ❤️

🍋 whump-tothemoon-andback Follow

WHAT THE FUCK???

( 10,054 notes )

Based on your likes!

🐈‍⬛ blackcat-whumps Follow

these are my three whumpees. and yes, they smoke weed.

( 12 notes )

#whump shitpost

🌌 freezingcold-skin Follow

Can’t believe I have to say this, but DO NOT let your whumpees go on whumpblr. I don’t care if they’re supervised, it’s not safe online. Some random caretaker could message them and try to ‘rescue’ them (🙄)

💉 whumperflies-whumperpillars Follow

Actually, my whumpee is very responsible online, and never messages anyone but me and a select few of my mutuals! He’d never want to be rescued, he loves me very much ❤️

🩸hurtmehurtmehurtme Follow

It’s true! I would never want anyone to save me, the idea of ‘being rescued’ is so bizarre to me! I mean, who wouldn’t want to be tortured by my whumper ❤️

( 418 notes )

#ok guys my whumper never reads the tags #so just to be clear #i fucking hate that guy #caretakers please interact #caretakers dm me #anti whumper

🔮 wickedwhumpofthewest Follow

@ all magical whumpers:

give your whumper poison damage, its so funny to watch. rn they’re hiding in the corner going

“ow. ouch. oof. ow. fuck! ow. ouch.”

( 82 notes )

🪓 whump-me-please Follow

whumper? i hardly know h—

*i am brutally stabbed by my whumper*

#whumpees things #whumper-run whumpee account #whump joke

[biasbuck]

BiAsBuck’s July ficrec Jam.

Hi everyone, one week to go until they're back at it with filming! But still a while before we'll have the fam back on our screens. Luckily there's lots of fic to tide us over, and the kink meme's been keeping everyone busy, so I'm back with another round of fic that I've read and loved over the last month. Happy horny heatwave summer?

As always you can find previous rec lists here.

15 July 2025

dirty computer by @themisally when your henren kinkmeme prompt gets filled this brilliantly, what's a girl to do?! *fans self* a fic in which Karen sees the promises on a fucking machine advert as a personal challenge to put her robotics skills to good use and do even better. Taking Hen on quite the experience. So hot and competent and I loved it. Thank you thank you themisally, this was everything!

find another one 'cause he belongs to me by @littlespoonevan I had an absolute blast with this one 'in which Ravi finally agrees with Buck that Eddie is the coolest person alive and the trials and tribulations of Evan Buckley gets a 98th act.' This was such a delightful edition to Ravi thirdwheeling fic oeuvre, and particularly Buck losing his damn mind over it. So funny and ridiculous and sweet.

we're at the starting line, i did my time by @notspecialbabe it's been about five weeks since Eddie first kissed Buck, and now he's happily indulging in checking Buck out and getting his hands on him. Oh, the romantic heat and passion of this fic. Eddie is revelling and the banter is on fire. Loved it so much!

Don't Forget to Update Your Mailing Address by @the-hwaelweg 'in which Eddie buys himself a present, forgets to update his autofilled mailing address, and learns how to say what he wants. Out loud. To another human. AKA the lingerie wrong address fic.' ahhhhh one of my very very favourite tropes, and this was such a brilliant take on it. Eddie's internal rationalisations meeting Buck's unabashed desire. Just gorgeous.

I've crossed the borderline of weightless by @lacerta26 'Buck discovers Eddie is strong enough to take his weight and then proceeds to be really normal about that fact, repeatedly.' God I love it when they're both so totally knowing about what's going on, but flirting on the line of plausible deniability. This was so much fun. What are buddie if not flirtation via a series of ever more evolving trust exercises.

then help me with the crossword in the mornings by @thirdwheelravi in which post-S8, Eddie finds reasons to make Buck stay exactly where he is, and Buck slowly loses his mind over it. Ahhh the emotional hoops and frantic hope is just so good, as they fall even deeper for each other despite best efforts to be total dumbasses...I literally want to roll around in this fic forever.

Clay Sharks & Lemon Loaves by @cal-daisies-and-briars 'When Eddie and Buck start dating, Eddie is horrified to learn that four year-old Jee-Yun has a major grudge against him.' the tags 'the mortifying ordeal of being despised by a four year-old' and 'Jee-Yun is slightly menacing but she's got her reasons' made me laugh out loud, and the entire fic was just as hilarious and heartwarming. Eddie trying so hard to win Jee-Yun over and everyone being amused by it is just an absolute blast to read. I literally couldn't stop smiling reading this one.

Hands in the Dirt by @livesbetweenpages ahhh short but oh so sweet, this is perfect heatwave husbandism, with Eddie planting Buck flowers as a surprise. Just warm and lovely and a joy.

Juices Like Wine by @glorious-spoon from sweet and lovely to some good ol' fashioned monsterfucking!! This is all teeth and claws, Eddie werewolf fic, and Buck absolutely revelling in it. When trapped together during the full moon, Buck and Eddie improvise. All bite and danger, but so much trust. This one will make you awoooo.

private eyes (are watching you) by @buckedupbuttercup more freak4freak shenanigans...'What if at the end of 8x08 Buck finds porn on the iPad… of himself. Because Eddie planted a nanny cam in his loft. OR: Buck and Eddie play a game of voyeurism/exhibitionism gay masturbation chicken.' Truly beyond just fully watching Eddie in full on freak mode, my favourite thing is how much fun they have together once they both start playing games.

After the Night Before by @semperama from first kiss freak outs to sleepy sweaty heatwave first time waking up to each other morning sex, with Buck and Eddie delighting in their presence. Just full on butterflies!! (But if you DO want some more freaky behaviour then don't miss the season 8 bts ryliver fic Horseshoes and Hand Grenades to keep you going what is WRONG with you both...affectionate/derogatory, you decide lmao).

flux and flow by @penofpisces ahhh the hyperspermia Buck sex pollen fic! In which Buck gets blasted in the face by a mysterious plant, and Eddie lends him a hand to keep those symptoms managed. Don your wet weather jackets, folks. And then head on over to pull it to the side and get all up in it for Eddie revelling and feeling himself in a lingerie set, to keep his marriage to Buck spontaneous.

now you're really living by @happydiaz 'There’s a lot to consider, an entire world of sex play he hasn’t dipped his toes into, and yet Eddie’s stuck on the fingering. The pegging. Whatever—something in his ass.' After a tipsy conversation out at drinks with the firefam, Eddie's curiosity is awakened, and he sets out to experiment...only for Buck to walk in at an inopportune moment...Or is it an opportunity? So indulgent and satisfying.

My Satellite by @thekristen999 “I’m not saying he hasn’t always had ‘extremely competent menace with a heart of gold’ energy,” Buck said. “But this is next level. And then I remembered,” he said, snapping his fingers. “During that warehouse call two weeks ago, those barrels tipped over? He got completely doused in some weird chemical.” Something happens to Eddie on a call, and suddenly Buck's finding himself romanced by ever increasing kind gestures grand and small. This one was just so lovely, and really kept me guessing!!

aching now (to let you in) by oneofthesirens Eddie starts hearing Buck's thoughts...and he thinks about Eddie a lot. From domestic considerations, to admiration, to a hundred little kindnesses, sooner or later he's going to stumble on the one thing Buck doesn't want him to hear. The way this develops had me chin in hands at them both!

That's all for this month folks, but don't forget to check out my daily ficrec tag, where there's even more goodness from this talented fandom updated as I find it!

[indomitable-rp-resources]

The Wild Robot Sentence Starters

Change pronouns and terms as needed!

“Hello! Bonjour! Guten tag! Hujambo! ¡Hola!”

“Do you need assistance?”

“DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE??”

“Are you here to kill us?”

“Ooooh, pretty. Get it!!”

“This is what I get for taking a walk.”

“Where’s your mommy, little guy?”

“You gotta die faster!”

“Uh, why aren’t we killed yet?”

"That ___ stalks me, emits noise, and makes simple tasks more complicated or impossible."

“As far as he’s concerned, you’re his mother now.”

“I do not have the programming to be a mother.”

“But it’s not all bad. Just… mostly bad.”

“Patience is the key.”

“It’s okay, Mom, I’m alive!”

“It’s okay, I won’t eat him.” / “Are you crazy?! I might eat him!”

“Do you believe everything you hear?”

“I believe I am under attack.”

“Ugh… Do I have to do EVERYTHING?”

“Kindness is NOT a survival skill."

"Understood. Do not mention dead family."

"Swimming's easy; I can teach him the way my mom taught me. SWIM!"

"Just... I dunno... Don't get attached to the little guy."

"Ugh. So we're doing this."

"New project!"

"Is it normal to burp this much?"

"I know it was you. And I know where you live."

"Kids need to feel safe and loved and all that junk."

"NOT YET!"

"Yeah, well, when you grow up without something, you... spend a lot of time thinking about it."

"Death's proximity makes life burn all the brighter."

"I prefer he be independent closer to home."

"He won't die. Well... probably won't die. It's unlikely he would die... just right now."

"(Name), focus on me!"

"So was it just guilt? Is that why you did this?"

"You don't understand anything! You don't feel anything!"

"You're not my mom."

"I don't know!! I'm just making stuff up!"

"I don't know what I'm doing, and I have to! I have to because he's relying on me!"

"I have a kid."

"You are in the wrong place, and you have become the wrong thing."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not sure I'd want to see the sort of place you actually 'fit in'."

"Your life is not negotiable."

"I'm fine. Go again."

"Remember, there's nothing he can do that you can't."

"(Name) was never supposed to get this far. You know that."

"GET YOUR BUTT BACK UP IN THE AIR WHERE IT BELONGS!"

"Gentle motivation is a mom skill. You'll learn it."

"Funny how life works."

"Thank you for looking after my... For looking after (name)."

"You are a credit to... whatever species it is you belong to."

"I'd say you shine like new."

"How do you know if you love something? Some... one?"

"Sometimes hearts have their own conversations."

"Sometimes, to survive, we must become more than we were programmed to be."

"I need you to promise me one thing: a truce."

"He'll be here. I know he will."

"You seem... happy."

"Despite my cheery demeanor, I am unfeeling, inflexible, and morally neutral."

"Lying your butt off back there!"

"I'm already home."

"It's all you. Make it look good."

"We need everything inside that head of yours."

"Can I keep just... one?"

"What happened was not your fault."

"What you did to try and fix it is everything."

"I love you... Mom."

"Male bovine excrement!"

"Now say I'm cool. And don't lie."

"(Name) has nothing to do with this."

"We will just keep coming until we have you!"

"Don't be afraid."

"Whoa-whoa-whoa! D-Don't you need that?!"

"I have everything I need."

"Do not scare me like that again."

"If they come back, I'm gonna bite them."

"They will just keep coming until they have me."

"We can fight them off as many times as we need to."

"There are things there that I must put right."

"What if I need to tell you something, and you're not here?"

"When it is time, I promise I will find my way home."

[spectrumspace]

"How The World Was Saved", The Cyberiad

Posting this before I feel tempted to make any more art edits. It's been a month, I've fixed the off-model bits and coloring errors, I think that's enough!

[whoupsqlointing]

lets talk about judgement episode 14

ok so amidst everything today i did still find time to listen to the new judgement episode and i think im just going to list out some bullet points of notable things that happened because they have made me actually go insane and the tag never has enough people talking. im gonna forget things because thats what i do and theyll be out of order but we've got:

the jrwi judgement $40,000 camera robot has been destroyed and youre no longer allowed to imagine the scene anymore cos you cant see it. its always been audio only but there was still a camera apparently but not anymore

paeon and their dad are now up for public execution with the rest of the party, at the coronation of the new king. bold considering none of them are currently in custody

they need disguises and new masks to hide their identities. theyre going. to party city. the goal of the episode is to get to the shopping district and find a party city. bizly is distressed by this but also states that if they go to the party city he will be "looking for him." there is a non zero chance we're getting the return of the fucking party city ghost in judgement

jaguar joe finally gets to save a woman from danger and immediately tells her to smile

he called the rest of the party "mods" during the fight and when looting the bodies said "thanks for the gold kind stranger"

he also? accidentally sent a guy back in time with his sword, not a thing he should be able to do, but condi is the god of bits now and he never says no to something funny. the guy came back 24 years later and died of natural causes (sword wounds) at the ripe old age of 48 and they held a funeral for him in the alleyway with a casket and a priest and everything

paeon invented syphilis 2 AND 3. but its ok because they also have the cure for both

buck failed a stealth check and alerted the guards and his solution was to be the distraction for the rest of the party by walking on water, declaring himself publicly as an emissary of OTG, and then smiting a random guy to hell

he sent two more guys to hell during the rest of the scene and might actually be the reincarnation of jesus christ

"jesus died, went to heaven, and god said go back and win. and he came back as buck barker." - charlie

mel, jaguar, and paeon ALL failed the jump for the beef

paeon failed at least 3 jumps on those increasingly distant rooftops but never took any damage because they always landed on their incredibly voluptuous ass which absorbed all the damage

mel wondered aloud if paeon gave themself their own bbl and it made paeon raise the mask just enough for everyone to see them smile

what actually happened was that paeon had a small ass vaccine that gives you a big ass if you have a small ass by curing your small ass

sadly their ass deflated on the last fall from the roof and the last dose of the small ass vaccine that gives you a big ass if you have a small ass by curing your small ass was shattered on the ground

they made it to the party city. at the end of the episode. theyre standing outside. the camera robot is back and we can see party city and its discount signs in all their glory. buck hopes they have doritos. and we fade to black and im never normal again

[cosmicstarlatte]

Coffee Shop (Obey Me!)

━━━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━━━

You start a new job at a coffee shop in a popular plaza. You can't help but look forward to a certain regular. ♡

»Characters: Demon Bros + Dia + Barb

»Tags: Fluff, Bulleted Style, GN Reader, LeviLeviLevi-

»Notes: lol when was the last time I made a bulleted fic that wasn't a shitpost???🤯 Just simple short fluff lol, reblogs are appreciated + motivating ♡

Lucifer:

Always orders a cafe con leche every morning

Keeps interactions short but you learned his name

Always so serious but he does look like a business man

A very very handsome business man cough

After working there for a little bit he admits he likes the way you make his drink & hates when you guys miss each other on days off

One day he comes in normal clothes & you got caught off guard when he made it to the register

"It's my day off but I was craving my usual. I'm glad to see you're here."

Pleaseee you gotta be blushing right now alalfkfldk

You notice the record store bag he's holding & start a fun conversation while its slow

It does get busier & unfortunately have to cut the conversation to both your disappointments

"We can continue this later...maybe over dinner if you're available?"

Mammon:

Usually gets an icy blended drink, the flavor changes frequently

You see him every other day, it looks like he works at a retail store in the plaza

You thought he was cute & funny despite how loud he could be

One day he defends you against a really rude customer

You say your thank yous & give him his drink for free that day

"Yeah I guess I am a hero. Heroes get free drinks all the time though, ya?"

You couldn't help but laugh & accidentally let slip "you're really cute!"

He starts choking on his drink, stuttering & blushing

He goes silent for a moment before asking, "whaddaya say to a date one of these days?"

Levi:

Usually orders sweet drinks & likes trying seasonal/limited time things

You've seen him at his job at the anime store in the plaza, since you visit there sometimes

You two are on friendly terms even though he can be awkward

You think he's very cute though, especially when he talks about his passions

You felt like you two were dancing around eachother so you decide to make a move

You drew a Gundam robot on his drink & wrote 'Gun-DAM you're cute!'

You nervously handed the drink & he took it without noticing the drawing on it

You watched as he left the shop,took another sip, then stop as he looked at his drink

You could see he was happily freaking out but then abruptly stop

He looked back to the shop & you waved a shy hello

He ran back inside to make sure, "S-sorry is this a mistake? W-was this for someone else??"

"Look on the bottom"

He raised the cup & looked under

Levi, AkuCon this weekend?

Satan:

Usually orders a simple cappuccino but will add a flavored syrup occasionally

Comes in often on his breaks

You've seen him working at the bookstore in the plaza

He looks like a simple guy yet very charming

You always notice a book on him & one day you decide to ask what he's reading

You learn you read the same things & start having fun conversations every time he stops by

Eventually he asks you if you'd be able to give your thoughts on his writing

"Sure, I'd be happy to read it if you bring it!"

He gave you a flirty smile

"Actually I was thinking maybe we could hang out...like somewhere that's not here?"

Asmo:

Always orders an iced vanilla oat milk latte

You see him every few days, really friendly customer that loves to chat & you become friends quick even though you want more

You find out he works at a nearby agency & is an up & coming model

You felt a little intimidated, he could be really famous one day!

Nevertheless you treat him just the same even as those around him changed, he lets you know how grateful he is

One day he comes in upset & tells you the agency is moving across town to a bigger location so he won't be able to see you there anymore

At the same time both of you blurt out

"I still wanna see you!"

Beel:

You never know with this guy

He works in the sports store across from the cafe

He's always indecisive with the menu & one day just tells you to make whatever

You're his fave barista, he thinks you make the best drinks either way

Doesn't realize he just likes everything & has a crush on you

You can't help but get excited when he looks excited to see you golden retriever energy

You find out he's a foodie type & you guys talk about the local spots around town

"Would you like to check out the new sandwich store that opened a few doors down? Uh...like, maybe a date?"

Belphie:

Usually orders a hot regular latte but occasionally orders hot chocolate

He appears to be a student as he comes in often to study & always looks tired

One day on your break you decide to chat him up & offer help on the subject he was struggling with

He thought you were cute & was thankful for your help

After a few weeks of tutoring (+some heavy flirting), he passed his exam flawlessly

"Actually can you help me with one other thing?"

"Yeah, what?"

"Would you like to go on a date sometime?"

Diavolo:

Has a new favorite every week but really likes lattes/teas

You can tell he's important with his assistant present

You wonder why the assistant doesnt just get his order though

Anyway hes hot really friendly & chatty & can tell a few good jokes, you appreciate them!

He always seems reluctant to leave the shop which makes your heart flip

Always leaves a big tip! ... I want him to give me a big tip 😔

The two of you find out you have a lot more in common than you thought

One day he admits that these coffee runs are the things he looks forward to the most since his day is usually very busy & doesn't get much else normalcy

He lets slip that it's mainly seeing you that adds to his joy so he goes all in

"If you're interested, care to join me for dinner this weekend?"

Barbatos:

Always large orders of a few different drinks (part of his job)

Though you notice he always orders tea for himself & likes to buy different tea blends

He's a very (cute) polite customer, one of the few

You two usually chat as you make his large order & you can't help but fall for him

Knowing he loves to buy limited release tea blends, you usually save him one before the cafe sells out

You never tell anyone about it but:

"I appreciate you always saving me one."

"Oh? How did you know!?"

"I have a friend who stopped by earlier & said it was one of those times they missed out. Yet, there always appears to be one for me even after sell-out. Thank you kindly."

You blush at being found out, "seems I've been caught!"

He chuckles & gives you another shock:

"I've been meaning to ask...will you allow me to take you out one of these days?"

⬦You might also like: Customer Service︱Devil-Mart ⭐️︱You Are The Father︱MC feeling Insecure

[therestlesswon]

It's about time I make one of these...

Hey there, I'm Restless, or whatever you want to call me. Hell, I don't care what pronouns you use for me. (also like... Running/Toaster is also allowed for the silly (please don't blame me if I forget))

I also do writing or drawing requests, just don't mind if I don't do something if I don't like it.

Am also Pansexual.

have like pronouns page or whatever

also spotify playlist because why the fuck not

STRAWPAGE

Simplyplural Username: R3stl3ss

(^ made by @floral-atom-gives !!!!)

I'm the owner of @less-than-normal-restless, the ask blog for my sona and the other Lesses. We also now have @a-forsakened-void, being my forsaken OC.

Maker of Traffic and @traffic-cone-borrower

Also the @cruel-king-detecter !!

uhhhhh

Silliest Gang in the World members:

Me, @antikittysocial , @sillygoofyboii , @caretalesotherstuff

The pardners:

@ieatnightshade : husban!! (also made the PFP!!)

(ill add more later trust)

Tags Time!

#DW ship funnies (for them ship ideas of dynamics or whatever)

#Random things said in class (it's in the name)

#I yap (I've been forgetting this but it's when its a random post)

#We yap (talkin with a moot)

#insomniapostingcore (posting/rebloging ic as Insomnia)

#TJ rambles (TJ posting, not me)

#Restless writes. Cool. (its what it says on the tin.)

And if you want to see a list of fandoms I'm in, here you go.

Dandy's world

Undertale

UTY

...Baldi's basics-

The Amazing World of Gumball

Kirby

Pizza Tower

Object shows in general

Phighting!

Sonic... (It's only because of Metal and Tailsdoll/silly)

Cookie Run (OvenBreak and Kingdom)

Forsaken

and that's about all I can remember-

One last message for here.

Dear AI "artists",

If you were a robot, they wouldn't even use you for scraps.

Get off my blog AI "artists".

UNTIL NEXT TIME!

[quibbs126]

I only just remembered I was drawing this yesterday like, 15 minutes ago, added the lighting and figured good enough

To be honest there’s not really much to say on this. I was only drawing it because I had a dentist appointment yesterday and needed something to draw while waiting, and then I drew a bit more when watching g1 yesterday

To be honest I’m not really sure why I stopped yesterday, I think it might have been I was just too lazy to figure out a proper light source for my shading. I started with that today, added the lighting and tweaked some of the shading, but it’s probably still inconsistent in some areas

There’s really not much to say on this, because as stated I just drew it because I can, and because I wanted to use the 6B pencil as lineart because I really like it (it’s also the sketching brush)

I made the gun Megs to make it more interesting than just Optimus holding a normal gun. That’s one thing I can’t help but love about gun Megatron; you can just have a character holding a gun, and in the tags you’ll see Megatron listed, because he is the gun. Call the form stupid but he’s hiding in plain sight, a true Robot in Disguise. Also I just think it’s funny

And uh, yeah

[xinsareforever]

please robo ky relationship hcs pleaseeeeeee....

Robo-Ky x GN!reader

Topic: Relationship hcs

A/N: BRO SKIPPED THE LINEEE THATS CRAZYYY/JJJ WAIT OMG THEY HAVE NOTHER ROBO-KY ONE TOO?!?!

Tags: Fluff

---

-Robo-Ky isn’t just loud, he’s over-the-top. Expect him to show his affection with explosions—literally. “WATCH THIS, BABE!” he’ll shout as fireworks go off in the background, with his robotic laughter echoing. Everything he does to impress you is a spectacle.

- Sometimes, his voice pitch goes haywire, causing him to speak in odd accents or pitch shifts mid-conversation. He'll start in his normal tone, then suddenly switch to a high-pitched squeal, making both of you burst into laughter.

R.K-“Oops, guess I’m too excited to be around you!”

-Despite his clownish behavior, Robo-Ky genuinely cares about you. He’ll throw himself into taking care of you, but in the most extra way possible. If you’re cold, he’ll bring you a mountain of blankets and insist,

R.K-“WARMTH OVERLOAD ACTIVATED!” [While flailing his arms dramatically.]

-His compliments are absurd and exaggerated. “YOU'RE HOTTER THAN A SUPERCOMPUTER IN OVERDRIVE!” or “I’VE SEEN THE UNIVERSE, BUT NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU!” He has no concept of subtlety, and his compliments come out of nowhere, often accompanied by exaggerated gestures and poses.

-Robo-Ky is both oblivious and overly protective at the same time. If you’re walking down the street and someone so much as glances at you, he’ll zoom in front of you, arms spread wide, You have to remind him not everything is a battle scenario- (I still love him)

- Robo-Ky views everything as a training opportunity. He’ll challenge you to playful sparring matches out of nowhere, saying, “Let’s get physical! For research, of course.” He makes sure to go easy on you but can’t resist throwing in some flashy, unnecessary moves just for show.

- Despite all the chaos, Robo-Ky can be romantic. He’ll hand you flowers and say, “These are for you, my perfect human!” while striking a ridiculous pose. But in those rare quiet moments, when he’s not trying too hard to be funny, his sincerity comes through, and those moments melt your heart.

- Robo-Ky gets hyped up about everything. Going to the store? “MISSION ACCEPTED! LET’S ROLL!” Movie night? “PREPARE FOR AN EPIC CINEMATIC ADVENTURE!” His constant excitement brings energy to even the most mundane things.

[cringefail-clown]

at last, where doing it man where MAKING THIS HAPPEN

cringes jakehal fic rec list

just so were clear: some of the fics are unfinished, and havent been updated in a while. leaving a comment to let the author know that youre reading and youre enjoying it is fine, but dont be a bag of dicks and harass them over when the new chapter will be up. have some decency or else ill be inside your walls.

Heart by fawn_writes || rated T || 1/1 || 663 words - man its so good. short and sweet. jake comes by to witness the construction of hals new body while also reminiscing about the times he fought brobot and his untimely demise. a good sparkling of body worship. "Everything will be normal. They’ll manage to keep it normal. After all, Jake has enough of his own heart to share." - fuck, that lines so effervescent.

What he needs by fawn_writes || rated M || 1/1 || 1259 words - another banger from the same author. they be doing the horizontal tango, but nothings too graphic. healthy serving of body worship from jakes perspective, as well as his internal struggle with his apparent robotic attraction.

Dead Weight by squirtgunplay || rated M || 5/9 || 27337 words - oh that fic. oh my god. love me some zombie apocalypse au with existential horror sprinkled on top. hal and dirk are twins but with a twist in this one. theres mystery. theres injuries that make you incapable of moving around. theres ship of theseus discussion. its nourishing. its beautiful. jake and hals banter in this one is fucking amazing, and the author captures their characters so well. the relationship between hal and dirk is also very fucking good and heartwrenching and just ugh. stellar writing, the forth wall break made me laugh out loud, hal gets called a security camera (derogatory). theres graphic depictions of violence, so beware of the tags.

Tennessee Whiskey & You by MistLaFey || rated T || 5/? || 12217 words - major character death and graphic depictions of violence tagged, so beware and read the tags. no-sburb au. dirk fucking dies (its in the fic description so i dont feel like its a spoiler). beautiful exploration of grief, unhealthy coping mechanisms and trying to get back into the normal life when theres a big part of it suddenly missing. hal and dirk are twins. jake is not doing well. hal is also not doing well, but pretending he is. its heartbreaking and some scenes made my chest hurt. very good fic and i dont understand why it doesnt get more love. it deserves it. go read it, even just for the funeral scene, i got teary-eyed over it.

seconds by squirtgunplay || rated E || 2/2 || 18698 words - graphic depictions of violence and its no joke, presidential alert the girls are fightinnn!! but its also so funny and the authors so funny and its also really hot! no sburb au, hals a human and dirks twin. he gets kidnapped by a craigslist hitman jake who mistakes him for dirk. the banter is top game in this one. hal cant keep his mouth shut even in life or death situation. jakes a dork, but hes a deadly dork, and also cant keep his mouth shut about his personal problems. theres fistfighting and knifethrowing and hal gets a weapon put to his head at least twice and he thinks its pretty damn hot. theres banging in second chapter. what more can i say to sell you on this one. the characters are on point, the action is tense but its also written in a cheeky, fun way, smut is good, a npc gets unsubscribed from life. amazing fic, 10/10, will read it again.

I Think Therefore I AR by Taxi_Boy || rated T || 25/? || 30417 words - im saving the best for last. major character death. hal has to start the game and get his friends into the medium while dirk is missing, while also pretending to be dirk as to not raise their suspicions. im not going to say anymore about the plot, you just have to go and read the fic. genuinely my favourite jakehal - and homestuck in general - fic of all time. i love caliborn in this one. i cant wait to see what the author has cooked up for us in the future. its plainly genious.

these are only ao3 fics as i have no clue how tf you search other fanfic sites for a specific ship, but if you have any other recommendations feel free to add them onto this post! we all need some good jakehal fic recs in these trying times!

[otsalezu]

College Cat AU Sneak Peek 2

At long last, the second of the three college cat AU Sneak Peeks! Sorry this one's a bit shorter than the last one, Stan's chapter will be longer I swear. Credit again to @dark-lord-of-awesomeness for the AU. Tag updates in this comments, and as usual writing below the cut!

Well, Fiddleford had gone insane. There was no doubt in Ford’s mind about that. Seriously, holy water spraying robots? A third Bible? And now, an anti-curse cat collar charm?  It all seemed a bit much over a silly cat. With his newfound interest in anomalous creatures, he had considered Nikolya being different. Under Fiddleford’s insistence, he had examined the cat all over. No extra fingers, no strange patterns, no unusual noises. The only non-ordinary thing about the shaggy stray was that it spent slightly more time around Ford than anyone else, and he could chalk that up to the extra attention and sandwich bits he gave the animal.

Most of the campus collectively had begun to refer to Nikola as “Pines’ cat”, and for his birthday a few of his classmates had gotten him a collar. Now he sat arguing in his dorm, cat sprawled across his lap.

“I’m tellin’ ya, Ford. It’s better to be safe than sorry with that…that thing!”

“Come on, F. It was a bit funny at first, but now I’m just concerned. As an expert on anomalies, this is as normal as cats get.”

“I raised the barn cats back home, and ain’t none of them as intelligent as that little demon! It paws at the inconsistencies at your work, explain that!”

“Pattern recognition. Besides, sometimes he just paws at my papers randomly. It’s likely that it’s just coincidence that he’s happened to touch more wrong answers than right ones.”

“And how come he always gets into our dorm when it’s closed?”

“People probably see him outside of it and let him in. He’s basically my cat at this point, anyways,”

“Explain how he knows ta bring you yer favorite snacks, despite you never buying them!”

“His old owner likely had similar tastes to mine.”

Fiddleford fell back onto his bed, hands tearing through his hair. Then suddenly he sat up, a wicked smile on his face.

“Say, have you ever thought about getting the little guy neutered?”

Nikola’s eyes widened, and he let out a yowl as he leapt at Fiddleford. The room exploded into chaos. Ford, who had never seen the usual chill cat act out like this before, grabbed at the soft fur.

“Get ‘im off of me!”

“I’m trying, I don’t want to hurt him.”

“HE’S HURTING ME!”

Several minutes, some colorful language, and a good few alcohol wipes later, the two were sitting in the nurse's office. Nikola had bolted off at some point during the rush there, leaving FIddleford and Ford in awkward silence.

“I think it may have been at the mention of neutering. He may have medical trauma of some sort.”

“Or it’s just plum crazy.”

“Nikola is very well behaved! Most of the time, at least. If you treated him a little better, maybe he’d come around to you.”

Fiddleford mumbled something under his breath, then stopped. His eyes twinkled with that same look they got when he figured out a puzzle.

“Ya know what, I just remembered something. Don’t wait up for me.”

Before Ford could answer, Fiddleford was out the door. Ford sighed. Like he’d said, insane.

[insectoidvoid]

hindsight really is 20/20 huh (reflecting on feelings I had that were related to a particular fictype before I was cognizant of it)

Not naming the fictype or the source in order to keep this out of fandom search, but iykyk (and if you do not, you can check my pinned post and the tags on this one to find out.)

For much of my life, I carried a vague but unmistakable feeling of religious trauma. Everything I saw on the subject resonated painfully. It… sort of made sense? I am a queer woman who has lived my entire life in the US Bible Belt, after all. But it still seemed hard to explain. I was raised as an atheist. To this day, the only times I have ever entered churches were as a guest at a wedding or a funeral.

When I was a teenager, I started making alien species. Certain ideas spoke to me. Species where plurality was far more common and normalized. Species that could share their thoughts with each other directly without the middleman of language. Mostly-humanoid species with a few bug-like traits. Species with their own unique set of social identities, indicated by the size and shape of a feature on their heads. Cyan blood. Orb-shaped spaceships. Friendliness towards Earthlings. These traits all ended up scattered around various aliens I came up with. I cannot help but wonder now what would have come of it if I had combined them all into one species instead.

I figured out I was otherkind eventually, which lead to making otherkind friends. They often forgot I was not a robot, which was a little funny, but I could not blame them and it felt like a compliment. I had been a huge fan of robots basically forever. At some point, a vampire showed me Homesick by Madison Beer. Not a genre I would typically listen to, but the lyrics resonated hard- "because I am nonhuman in general," I thought, "I am not specifically an alien." I ended up listening to it a lot.

And then, an obscure web game full of aliens that fully hooked me in no time. All the features I had felt compelled to include in the species I made were present in this one and they had technology that let them transfer their consciousness into something like a robot body too; they were perfect for me. There was one character in particular I was fascinated by from the moment I laid eyes on her, but we did not know much about her, really.

In future updates, we learned about that character's past: she was a victim of religious abuse thanks to her family getting swept up into a cult when she was young. She was never a true believer, but she was hurt all the same. Whoever she would have been if not for that was lost and she eventually ran off and started fighting against that same cult.

I started to wonder. I started to worry. I did not want to be her for a handful of reasons.

Eventually, though, it became undeniable, and my worries ended up being for nothing anyway. Hindsight makes it feel so obvious, but, well, you know.