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#fundamentally fucking making me worse.
pbnmj · 1 year
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thinking of gwen and peter, who have been through so much of “spider-man”'s hardships, loneliness and particularly the loss and destruction they bring to their own, other's and loved one’s lives. and miles is excited to be spider-man (ripeter "but after everything, i still love being spider-man. who wouldn't?") so how can EITHER of them tell the kid who changed their lives for the better that his is going to get worse . like they talk to miguel about how to talk to miles !!! they try to keep the truth from miles while also wanting him to trust them regardless, and like every spider, they try (and fail) to do both. and yeah pretty much every meta post has said this already but that trying is what makes them spider-man
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cruelplatonic · 3 months
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my personal headcanon is the vees were unremarkable nobodies when they were alive. i just love it as a thematic throughline for them. they love to let the public of hell speculate on them being famed and acclaimed since before death, but the the truth is they were a d-list failed influencer that got by on cheap controversey and scamming, a broke junkie who burned every shaky bridge he ever had, and a worn-out broadcast production assistant with more rejected auditions and tossed out script pitches than he could count. nobody missed them when they were gone, nobody cared who they were until they were dead.
#because villains who didn't start off supremely powerful are more interesting to me#vees#it's not that they CAN'T be better. or that they're simply ignorant of the ways they fuck up others lives#they actually all do have that knowledge of being the underdog. and it's made them all the more shitty#because they never want to be those people again#narratives about people who make each other worse <3#to be clear they were still shitty people in life. manipulative. consumed by greed and envy. all their individual flaws etc etc#but hell made them into the absolute worst versions of themselves#of course what their Worst Self is and the journey/length of time/initial reaction to being in hell varies#like val sees hell as a continuation of the things happening in life. just w/ the power dynamics always privileging him#it's the same drugs and violence. except the violence isn't just survival anymore but the chance to indulge his deeply sadistic desires#vox has completely dissociated from his time alive. that person is dead and he's reinvented himself 1000 times over since then#90% of the time he has those memory files shoveled into a hidden directory#he refuses to acknowledge that he's still haunted by some of the same insecurities from almost a century ago#val doesn't necessarily see his living self in a fond light but he does see that person as fundamentally him#velvette thinks life was full of people who weren't her demographic but fortunately that's been fixed by sinners!#they just couldn't Get Her and that was all their faults#the primary way they view their past selves can be summed up as: scorn (vox) apathy (valentino) and in denial (velvette)#sorry the bulk of the post was in the tags. i will be doing this again#the scorn is the coping mechanism for shame. of course
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quietwingsinthesky · 11 months
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it ever hit you out of nowhere that castiel is living in a dead guy's body and the show just does not care. it does not care. jimmy novak might as well not exist the moment he or claire is out of sight. cas stole a guy's body and his face and his life, and we can't ever talk about it or discuss it in detail because of how fucking horrifying it is that sam and dean's best friend just walks around in a dead guy suit. there's not even a human soul in there anymore. it's just a corpse. stone-cold body snatcher indeed.
#castiel spn#spn#this is not like a Castiel Crime (tm) to be clear. this is more me being (un)surprised that the show is Like This.#castiel is a horror story he is so much a horror story in the rapture#and then they just uh. never bring up again how horrifying and fucked up this is for another like 7 seasons#and when they do its to briefly go :( claire lost her dad :) but its okay! she forgives cas for it!#which!! NO SHE SHOULD FUCKING NOT!!!#but we can't have that discussion. we can't talk about that. because to acknowledge that it's fucked up would mean making cas kind of. evil#in a way that would vastly improve his later character arcs btw. if we had to reckon with not only this massive transgression#but with the fact that cas himself STILL DOESN'T SEE IT AS ONE.#that on a lot of fundamental levels. he is still functioning as he did in s4. a lot of that base programming is still there.#something something how cas never changes out of his suit under his trenchcoat#but it's like. jimmy said yes. so it's fine. that's what it is to him.#anyway. i wish they hadn't been scared of making all three of the boys more fucked up in later seasons.#thank GOD for dean being interesting in how he becomes Worse <3 because they were not bringing that for castiel.#again. good version of spn where jimmy's bloodline is an off-shoot of the lucifer vessel bloodline. explaining a) how lucifer Got In There#and b) letting lucifer possess claire later so that the two of them can have daddy issues together.#something about cas being the monster-not monster that jimmy let in that destroyed his life.#something about lucifer being the monster-not monster that castiel lets in later. the cycles. they are cycling.
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korrasamibottles · 7 months
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Yeah Venom of the Red Lotus showed us how crazy powerful Korra is but The Last Stand had Korra transform the destructive power of a massive bomb blast into something regenerative in the culmination of one of the best character arcs I've ever seen. In my OPINION!!
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eff-plays · 5 months
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Not exactly a dadstarion truther either (mostly bc it took me a while to actually warm up to the idea and also hes NEVER having kids with my durge, only my tav (can you imagine this man parenting a Bhaalspawn? A dhampir Bhaalspawn?? Nonono.)) But I do find something a little compelling about the thought of this man who a) has had absolutely nothing of his own for as long as he can remember and b) sees himself as worthless and irreparably fucked up creating this tiny new person? Like, they're part of him, he made this precious little creature (with the person he already loves most)? This soft and innocent thing? (Which he would waffle awfully between wanting to keep innocent for as long as possible but also making sure they know about life's horrors so they can avoid them) Like sure the baby version is annoyingly loud and can't do anything and also gross and smells but he can teach the toddler to bite people. He is the absolute worst enabler, spoils the kid rotten. Teaches them to steal and pick locks and just lets them get away with murder. Parent #2 has to do all the actual parenting part cuz damn he's not doing the discipline thing at all.
Also the vain part of him likes looking at his kid and sort of seeing some of his face in them, since he can't use an actual mirror.
Well he'd be cured by the time he has the kid or soon after in my canon, so that last part wouldn't apply for me.
And yeah, when I say that I'm not a dadstarion truther I don't mean that I don't see it happening ever, but more that to me, that first step in itself is the one that I see as least likely.
Because I can accept that he would learn to love the kid, that he would care about it and spoil it. I can also accept (and would gladly explore) him having a complicated relationship with the kid, either early on in a postpartum depression sort of way, or further down the line in a "I can't find common ground with my teen/young adult" sort of way (or both lbr).
The problem, to me, is that I don't see Astarion going "let's have a kid!" I don't see him genuinely wanting one, and I don't see him finding any reason to lie about wanting one, and I don't see Hira believing any of those lies even if he does try. It's really the initial hurdle. The rest I'm happy to make as dysfunctional and weird as it would realistically be when a guy who shouldn't be a dad becomes a dad. One of the reasons I came up with Critter is because I find it compelling how much Astarion is not a dad guy, and how that would fuck up a person like Critter. That's juicy stuff. And also a way for me to work out my own daddy issues I guess lmao.
But getting that started? Actually inventing a reason for how Astarion would even agree to it? That's where I struggle. And that's why I'm torn. Cuz I do want to stay true to my own interpretation of a character, while also wanting to create a new character and put them both (and also Hira) in situations.
Like I'm happy for all the dadstarion peeps who have cool dhampir girlies running around on adventures and I'd love to join them, but I also think that if I were true to Astarion's characterization, that kid would have issues. Like maybe a lot of them.
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wild-at-mind · 6 months
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Had a really stupid conversation via minor emotional breakdown with a queer friend about what makes an LGBTQ person 'assimilist'. From what she said I'm kind of forced to draw the conclusion 'if you say you're not assimilist, then you're not'.
#i love her but none of it makes any sense to me#i think i really just wanted her to see that this kind of rhetoric is no good if you're fundamentally unable to see yourself as having valu#to a community- which is where i'm still at sometimes unfortunately.#i would say that i may not be the only one since mental illness + self esteem issues + being lgbtq are not exactly unlinked#but i have basically never found anyone else who has my particular hangups...maybe online once ages ago#so in my own mind i'm the most assimilist lgbtq who ever existed- not even worthy to call myself queer#and it's nice that she thinks i am not like that and in fact am 'one of the good ones'#who is not assimilist- look i know that 'one of the good ones' usually means the opposite ok i know! it's just an impression i get#she's like telling me obviously i'm all good because i look like i do but all i can hear is#that if i didn't look like this then i'm an assimilist#i fucking hate my brain honestly no one asked me to have a mental breakdown at their house (thank god i didn't cry)#and then go home and that's when i cry because i saw a trans guy's 'this many years on t' post and i felt like shit because#i haven't done anything about transitioning in ages and i'm not even out at work :'(#like i know i'm an assimilist because my main reason for not coming out at work is not wanting to do the beaurocracy#of changing my name on my email and every fucking log in i have on everything- telling every single person i interact with#i just can't it's too much and my line manager is worse than useless#but i have 'my job is computer and doing emails all day' privilege so i don't like to talk to people about it
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Rip to all the Anakin apologists, but I love when guys are worse, actually. I fucking love when characters do Bad Things and are awful people. Big fan of The Atrocities, and an even bigger fan of understanding why the characters committed them. He's a terrible human being--Why did he become one? How does he justify it? Does he really believe he's right, or does he know and not care? What does he think about his crimes while committing them? What about after?
Aren't those question so much more interesting to answer than blaming everything he does on someone else? When you have a character this deeply fucked up and fascinating, it's basically character assassination to pretend he never did anything wrong. Like, come on, he's sinned, now have some fun with it
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nexus-nebulae · 9 days
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another childhood bucket list item obtained: i finally have a snuggie
#and it's the real thing not even a knockoff#kinda surprised they still exist#but also not surprised bc Blanket. blanket is universal#i just remember a lot of those As Seen On Tv ads like. imploding within 5 years#they still do As Seen On Tv products like there are still boxes marked with that logo it almost feels wrong like an ancient relic#bc most like. ubiquitous 2000s brands from my childhood are just Gone or at least so fundamentally changed it's not the same thing#heard about like 50 more companies going bankrupt probably in the last year alone#anyway ive always wanted a snuggie it's one of those Always Wanted things that never go away#others include: staples easy button (obtained!); mini fridge (not); pillow pet (i had a knockoff once); power drill (not)#i spent a surprising amount of my childhood actually going out of my way to buy stuff i could use in my own apartment in the future#i grew up lower middle class and then just lower class#so like. i always Knew i couldn't just furnish the whole apartment at once i Knew I'd have to build stuff up over time#also bc when my sister got kicked out she had like. nothing. in her trailer. and i did not want to have nothing#i knew if dad was willing to just toss out my sister like that i would absolutely follow suit#and i did! two years younger than my sister when she was!#it just happened that my mom didn't want me homeless at FOURTEEN when i legally could not work for two more years#so she went with me and we lived with my grandma#so take that dad. turns out throwing family members out willy nilly makes the rest of your family not trust you or like you!#and now i get to rub it in his face that HE can't function in a house by himself and still needs to beg my mom to clean up after him#bc i spent so much of my childhood getting berated and called lazy for not doing chores#getting told stuff like 'you have to function by yourself your parents can't always pick up after you'#and then he's literally useless without his wife#he's not disabled and he's not neurodivergent he's never even had a serious health scare he just doesn't bother to learn how to clean#his excuse is that he doesn't know how to use the washer and dryer (it has been almost ten years fucker. learn)#or he doesn't know which cleaning products to use (you have google and a library card. LOOK IT UP)#he's the only person i get mad at for this behaviour bc he's a fucking hypocrite and a child abuser about it too#he is the exception to my rule of everyone needs to be given the space to get things done where they're able and deserve help when needed#and I'll bend over backwards to make excuses for other people so i DONT exclude them from my rule i will try to find every good reason first#he has no fucking excuse though he made two teenagers nearly homeless bc he thought we were too lazy and then he's even worse
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hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP
#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI#hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA#(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?????#my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??))#like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent#he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy#cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me#its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird#idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on#a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but#STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also#i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it#look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could#make me worse <3 I Want Him#and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3#i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER#OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS)#might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really#GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3
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voltgoats · 6 months
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i feel like if there was an au wherein Willow and Charlie's roles were swapped, everything would simply have gone So Much Worse. like, i think Willow would have encouraged Maxwell. she would make him worse
i do not dare imagine what a Constant with Willow (worse edition) in charge would be like, because just thinking about it a teeny tiny bit leads me to believe no one would survive a singular day. she would be a menace beyond belief and reason. Maxwell would be so very proud off her up until he gets hit with the character growth (i.e, realising she's not going soft on him), and then he would be scrambling to get her off that throne immediately
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v-arbellanaris · 2 years
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I'm so glad Inquisition gives us the option to soften Leliana which basically means removing all of Justinia's influence (or removing parts of Leliana that became hard because of Justinia.) I feel like it's a bit of a middle finger to the late Divine that now she's dead, Leliana is finally free.
YEAH. like ok, my two fav dao romances are leliana (whose romance i did first) and zev's. playing her dlc and feeling that betrayal first hand, seeing how much she suffered. and then later, seeing how much she beat herself up over marjolaine's taunts, and being able to tell her evil does not worry about being good.
and then, the divine calls on her. to have justinia use leliana as an instrument of death infuriates me. she's valued only as a cold assassin, made to act against her morals and beliefs. all because justinia required a blade to level against the orlesian nobility, one that was used to an old, ailing divine, far removed from politics and certainly not one with ambition.
it upset me so much to see leliana's faith, and the goodness of her heart, and her affection for justinia -- who saved her at her darkest, who saw her at her lowest -- be used against her. by justinia herself.
and even if she says she's sorry, even if she apologises to leliana, even if she lets leliana go, it doesn't matter. i can't let it go lol.
cassandra says that the justinia she knew is different to the justinia that leliana remembers. and i definitely agree with cassandra on that. the only regret i've got is that i can't have leliana realise it, too.
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cherrysnax · 1 year
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actually one last thing. when I was like 16-20 I thought I was soooo cool for being able to draw faces without guidelines and it’s like. Bud. Buddy. Broski. the characters eyes are so far apart you couldn’t even tell they’re on the same face
#makes since I love code lyoko as a kid and the proportions on that show were wild#but they were pretty much consistent because the artists knew the fundamentals#they were able to have short hands because they did the work#im admittedly a lazy artist mostly because of my chronic fatigue#so shorthand’s r very important to me especially when it comes to comics n deadlines#however. one big thing abt me n my art that’s glaringly bad is#that until like last year I didn’t understand shapes and forms#I still have trouble drawing boxes#you can’t do shorthand’s that mostly require fudging with shapes and form#if u can’t do that 😭#at least for me#everyones art style has an end goal#I wanna draw comic/cartoony art with relatively realistic proportions#all of my main inspo actually comes from animated adaptions of comics#static shock btas jlu etc spiderverse does it the best but I can’t get Bruce timms style outta mine#also naruto. naruto was such a big influence for me#code lyoko for better or worse#x-men evolution probably has one of the biggest besides spiderverse#Fuck that one YouTuber kiwibyrd? I tried so hard to copy their style as a kid it never took#but now after doing fundamentals#my artstyle can kinda resemble theirs when they were the age I was when I started watching them#that was a hard sentence. my fault 😭#hell even Steven universe for its use of shapes and shit inspires mine#idk what I’m rambling abt now#but yeah so many different influences. all of these come from ppl studying and understanding fundamentals in someway#when I was younger my main fear of fundies was because I thought I was gonna lose my style. styles change#styles change. draw the fucking turnaround and consistency gets easier on god 😭
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gawayne · 2 years
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ughh SORRY BUT I HAVE TO SAY IT the people you meet in engineering are just by and large so unpleasant I hate it here
#DONT get me wrong there are at least three very cool eng students here#but fuckign. come on we have to admit it. the structure of the program makes you worse and more annoying#out of stress out of competitiveness whatever#yknow what I’ve never heard in english class or art club? earnest discussions of crypto#elon musk fangirling#clique-forming based on whether you have a fucking pilot’s license#using gay as an insult like it’s 2014#physical assault#etc#christ be normal for a bit!! talk about something that doesn’t make me wanna kill myself!#tbh think the issue might be that smart mean rich kids either go into mech/elec or medicine#and there’s nowhere else in the country for aero freaks to go so they all end up here. revving their audis at 10pm and cutting off busses#no joke every few months I’m like huh I should try to make friends in this program. and I go to a social event or talk to someone or w/e#and then I remember that they are not fun to hang out with because I don’t invest or like cars or want a plane or drink#and I am not willing to sit thru that discussion until someone brings up something more interesting. usually there isn’t anything#see our capstone group works bc it’s full of adhd bitches. today we talked about eggs for an hour#ughhhhh. genuinely I think it’s weird how many ppl don’t have hobbies beyond gaming drinking and investing and I fundamentally can’t get#along with them and that’s why all the cool engineers are found in art club#or maybe I’m just insane and annoying who knows
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lmao the two things i hate the most are men who think theyre funny, and men who pick up a mic and think they can call themselves musicians.
somehow i managed to snag not only those two things but also 'so fucking boring but thinks he could keep up with me enough to fuck me' all in one dumbass guy!! i fucking hate tinder, man.
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c0rpsedemon · 2 years
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ok next time i talk about jaubrey as if it's a real thing that's out there with multiple acts and is about to start wrapping up it's final arc when i haven't even started to write tiffany yet and also only know what half it's characters look like, take me out back and shoot me like a lame horse, that being said, nonzero chance that (at least) years after jaubrey is over and done with i'll make a jehanne spinoff
#was adding to my notes on her bc i reconfigured a few things to make more logical sense and fall apart less easily and i realized#that she does kinda end up slotting herself into the 'main villain' role. which makes me sad bc she's my specialest favoritest girlboss#and i thought raejin was most likely to end up with that role but no matter his actions he can't bc. fundamentally. all his actions will#be looked through with rose colored glasses bc one of the protagonists is in love w him (and another is his close family)#and he wasn't around to participate in the great 'screwing-each-other-over' olympics in the 1810s arc#while jehanne was. and even though she was like. the least bad of the 'bad people doing bad people things'#(i'm just SAYING that at the very end erik literally murdered jack. livia and mariana left without him. takehira did too but he lied about#it and everything. kyusong sat back and made popcorn. and jehanne was the only one to offer jack any chance of survival even if he#didn't take it. hubris is a hell of a drug)#and jehanne isn't in the second or most of the third act bc it'd fuck over the entire modern-day plot to reintroduce her too early#so ig that'd probably allow some mental distance to grow between her and the reader#even though she's like. not worse than oh idk erik and her actions between the 1st and 2nd acts are caused by the exact same#blend of trauma. grief. guilt and paranoia. he's a protagonist while she's just a really prominent side character who's off in new orleans#or paris for the vast majority of the story despite her significance#romeo.txt
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snekdood · 3 months
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i think being raised by smartphones, not facing consequences for bullying, and being shit at school has made a lot of gen z genuinely evil
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