#and im over here feeling nauseous over it
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Im so glad you're writing for Curly bc I'm so obsessed with him rn!! May I suggest (if you haven't done them already) some soft/fluffy post burn hcs? Like finally seing him again after a long drive to the hospital, mentally preparing yourself for what he might look like. Curly being so afraid about how you'd react, and just breaking down when you let out an "oh, Curly :(" and softly place a hand on his cheek, so worried that you might hurt him by accident that it's hardly even a touch at all. Curly leaning his cheek into your palm, having been so scared to see you and now so desperate for your touch.
Life returning to a new normal after a while, prosthetics and PT, skin grafts, so on. Lying in bed with him and being so relived and happy when he gets a spark of mischief like he used to and tries to tickle or play wrestle with you. Him quietly asking questions when the laughter dies down. if you missed his lips, or the blond hair you loved so much that now hardly grew at all. Reassuring him that it didn't matter what he looked like, or what he could and could not do anymore. He's still your curly.
Sorry this turned out so long 😭 I can't get him out of my head!
I LOVE what you wrote 🙏🙏 I'll be going off of these, taking bits and pieces of your hcs and then putting them in here. Overall just gonna be fluffy post crash Curly hcs :)
Of topic, but the way some people in this fandom treat post crash curly makes me nauseous. Finding out that some of you wouldn't treat him like I would makes me wanna cry. Maybe I'm too empathetic or maybe I'm a baby back bitch, either way, I'd care for this man so much. Y'all don't understand how much I love him.
Tw/cw; none!! One curse word but that's literally it (I think)
Not proofread
Extremely sensitive to touch for the first few weeks. I feel as though curly would be in incredible pain, but would try his best to keep your hands touching his cheeks, face, body in general. He'd even go as far as to whimper at how bad it hurt, yet still enduring it because he needed to know you still loved him.
He'd be so happy to see you anytime you were around. Just like pre crash, but it was more special. It got to the point where you would take off work for weeks at a time just to be with him, just so you could see him happy.
After the first two months of agonizing pain, you'd start touching him more. Not sexual, obviously, but just getting more physically affectionate. You'd be able to hug and kiss him goodbye, and hold on to his arm as you talked with him.
Speaking of talking, he wouldn't be able to, so you would talk for him. Basically telling him something, then answering any questions he may or may not have. You've known him long enough, you know how he'd react and question things, so it was practically a no brainer for you.
Now that he doesn't feel as much pain as he used to from your touches, you'd begin sleeping with him. NOT SEXUAL!!! Just cuddling up next to him in the hospital bed, laying your head on his shoulders and kissing him goodnight. Just like how you used to.
Eventually he'd start getting prosthetics, and aside from the physical therapy he's usually getting, you'd bring board games and playing cards so he could learn to use his new hands while still spending time with you.
Curly used to kick your ass in uno and honestly he still does. The trembling in his hands would slowly go away over time, and you were helping him with that much more than his physical therapist was; because at least he wanted to actually be around you.
After months and months, he'd finally be ready to take home. New prosthetics and a bunch of skin graft surgeries later, he's in good condition again. Not perfect in his eyes, but it is in yours.
He wouldn't be able to work, but Pony Express sends him checks as if he was. He gets enough from them, you could quit your job, but you don't want to be dependent on them. So you keep working.
Getting home from work is your favorite part of the day, having Curly be so happy to see you makes everything so worth it.
Your home life goes back to normal with a few exceptions, but nothing too drastic. Curly being in a wheelchair and still not being able to speak, but it's nothing you can't handle. You love him, you're willing to make sacrifices. He'd do the same for you, and you know that.
Bonus content; if you guys were married before the crash, once he got his prosthetic hands, he'd have you help him make a little beaded necklace for his ring to go on; that way he could still wear it :) he'd never take the necklace off once it's done
A/N; I've been pretty busy recently so sorry for the delay on requests; I have a lot of ideas for them though so hopefully they'll be out soon
#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing x reader#captain curly x reader#curly x reader#captain curly#i love him so much you guys dont understand id sell my nephew for him#AND my nieces
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how the fuck do people call out of work and not feel insane amounts of guilt over it
#babbling#ive had many coworkers do this as a regular thing over the years#like okay im not sick and im calling out because of homework but like other people do this kind of thing often#and im over here feeling nauseous over it#i used to complain about my coworkers doing this every weekend#maybe its my turn fuck whatever i hate everything#the worst part is texting my manager#thats the part that fucks me up the most#and living with my dad means he will ask and only make it worse and i just cant handle that rn#ugh i hate capitalism and fundamentally i support doing exactly this and not letting work upset your life this much#but goddamn is it ingrained into my core that being selfish is the worst thing i can do#and that i deserve to be fired over this kind of thing#whatever sorry i have full meltdowns every time i call out and tumblr is where it all goes so sorry
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I offer you: The Stig nendoroid, it may or may not try to attack you if you can't put it together on the first try
#Turns out im entering the nightmare territory today#(out of meds)#that sounds very serious but I promise its not#started feeling nauseous so I have been just in bed#drawing#procrastinating#the usual#so anyway thats why I drew this#I really didnt need to share this context but#I guess it was more Im not doing content for fandom out of obligation of having blog related to it#but more like im trying to cope and im bored#I cant keep anything to myself oml#do you guys want my social security number#anyway#art#the stig#top gear#oh yeah I had this idea on my head of the guys trying to assemble nendoroid#Jeremy would accidentally break it and be like “we will just buy anothef one no one will notice”#and then check the price and go “nvm we were never here”#either James or Richard would go like “we?��� (since its not like they touched it lol)#or that they are sentient#theres tiny figurine army of stigs coming to steal your socks and spreading lego all over your floors#why? no one knows for sure
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anyone else generally unable to do halloween bc of debilitating mental illness or is it just me
#ive sat here crying for over an hour bc im ugly and fat and my costume is ugly and i'm just going to be cold and harrassed all night#im literally so ugly looking at pictures of me makes me cry so hard i get nauseous i cannot fathom why anyone would willingly chose to be m#friend out of anything but sheer pity it's tragic how i look#halloween is supposed to be fun but it has never been too fun i just get fucking sad at the end of the night i just want something that#doesnt feel like im actually just trying too hard to have a good time#i feel like shit all the time its not fucking fair anymore#i was gonna be dr frank n furter but im just gonna cry all day genuinely#im impossible and a buzzkill and everyone should hate be because of how much of a buzzkill i am
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trying to determine which parts of my relationship with sex are asexuality, which are trauma, and which are autism is like trying to have a conversation with three people talking loudly and all at once
#just to be clear: asexuality as a result of trauma or neurodivergency is still asexuality. full stop no debate.#anyway because i love oversharing on tumblr dot com: feeling very sex repulsed on this day#i was joking with some guy about fighting each other (specifically said ''you ever fight a girl over 200 lbs? id break your ribs'')#and like three different people said something like ''well that would probably turn him on''#and. listen. i get it. that was a joke response to my joke threat#but what i felt in that moment and still feel now requires nothing short of academic study to understand#first of all: how dare they make me feel embarrassed in a social setting when i was doing so well.#secondly: why the fuck would me making a threat make them instantly think of sex#thirdly: how fucked up is my body image that i hear that and immediately think they're all out of their minds#i like fat women. i am personally attracted to fat women. not (usually) sexually but i do think they are very nice to look at#so why is it so hard for me to accept that someone else could find me attractive as well !#i think about being in a situation where a relationship and/or sex is a real possibility and i flinch like its going to hurt me#but why???? where is this aversion coming from !!!!! i am a hopeless romantic i daydream about romance all the time#so whats the deal here. is it subconscious bc of my asexuality and i associate romance with sex?#is it because of my autism where i associate romance with touch and am afraid i am too unempathetic to have a chance?#or (most likely) is it just because im so fucking scared of trusting someone that even the thought makes me nauseous#did this all crop up from a throwaway sex joke? yes#but people don't make sex jokes to me. people don't even pretend to allude to me being cute#this same group of people said a few weeks ago ''at least you're pretty''#which. is not the case!!!!!!! people do not say those things to me because they don't want to even slightly entertain that idea !!!!!!!#and i am extremely tired of having my life upended because of this#i have always been treated like i was ugly and teased about it and i FINALLY have managed to be okay with not being attractive#and now that im okay with it: NOW is when the pretty jokes start. im fucking angry about it actually#i can't be both. i cannot think of myself in terms that abstract. i am one or the other#and this leads me to believe that people think i COULD be pretty. but the catalyst is that i am fat and therefore cannot be attractive#which just makes me more angry!!!!!!!!!!!#how can i be completely indifferent to sex and attraction without seeming juvenile. i don't care so so much#but every time that sort of thing happens i feel like im 13 again and the hot jock is talking to me#i need to be put down. something's wrong with this one (me)#i realize i can't stop people from making sex or appearance jokes but god i wish i fucking could
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man idk if i believe in like the power of thinking about ppl or anything along those lines but i'm so worried about a friend of mine who is escaping their extremely abusive home today with a third of what they were hoping to have ready money-wise, so if everyone could just think good thoughts or something for them I would appreciate that a lot. they've attempted escapes a few times in the past and actually succeeded once before being tracked down and dragged back "home", but this time they have a really solid plan so that hopefully they're out for good !!
this is one of the things that's going on thats kind of making me unable to be active rn so ... everyone cross your fingers that they have made it out and that i'll hear an update from them within the next couple days :') i'm just so worried about them and praying they're okay and made it out
#abuse tw#its such a bad situation and im so in awe of their ability to survive all of what they've been put through#so im just really really really hoping praying etc that they have made it out successfully bc idk what'll happen if they haven't#i've felt kind of nauseous all day fsdjkl im just... life is so cruel idk sorry for this post here but i dont want them seeing it later#and knowing i was stressing myself out so much over them fdshgjkl#plus if they did not succeed then i do not want them feeling guilty or anything bc they def do not need any added shit to deal with#vent //#ask to tag#wait also for the record when i say praying its not necessarily in a religious way fsdjkl its just. hoping really hard
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renee count your days.
#the bleach my mother poured on me for no reason is causing skin hives and blisters and my head hurts 👍👍#laying down because im so nauseous but i feel like my neck chest hands and face are on fire lol.
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so im gonna try to stay far away from the dash for the forseeable future if you would like me to see or reblog anything please please tag me as always im tracking #klinejack and #scottstiles later homeslices ✌
#this is to say i will be doing even less blogging than usual#minus the few things i have already queued for today because im not gonna delete them#but yeah if nobody tags me all youre gonna see over here is my self reblogs#that is if i can even make anything new#i feel bewildered and nauseous and delirious and homicidal#personal
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Feeling just every single kind of horrific now I’m literally living my nightmare and have no where to run anymore
#lost my home my escape from this place and now im forced back into this awful living situation in a horrible town#its taking a physical toll im dizzy my stomach hurts i cant sleep right im sweaty i cant breathe#its just not real like this just cant be real#i can hear them chewing through the walls and i want them to stop but i cant cover my ears cuz then im vulnerable#my curtains are gone everyone is watching me theres spies all over the town the all report to each other#nagging nagging nagging because my god im so incompetent i cant even make a phone call#ive literally procrastinated rescheduling a very important doctor appointment for 2 weeks now cuz i literally cannot remember to do it#if i run away itll be pointless cuz theyll just find me and bring me back here#i would do anything just to cry and sob cuz then id get to feel better but my body wont let me im like emotionally constipated#ive been for who knows how fucking long#my father tells me that i need to overcome my autism and that im just not trying hard enough and that i need to talk to jesus#i dont love anything here i cant be bothered to try#and the ‘support’ i get is just. a cheap way of forcing me in#im gonna explode im seriously so uncomfortable so fed up so terrified so nauseous#its not even a dream this time but maybe it is but maybe it isnt i dont know i just punch the wall but never bleed#i want to breathe but its not working
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on the one hand maybe i am being hyper sensitive and taking constructive criticism too personally. on the other hand my life is a nightmare and my current job makes it harder for me to process things which in turn increases my odds of being hyper sensitive.. girl if it sucks hit the bricks!!
#having a very incoherent trial in my mind in which i am playing the defense and the prosecution#thinking about having this conversation is making me nauseous. if it were a business business i probably wouldn't care#(lie: i cried so much over my library job teehee) BUT naur. it's a family business which means my decision here directly impacts my own#blood. who is already getting their asses handed back to them by this twisted business.#like... it's kind of selfish! I can't lie! i agreed to do this to help them get some breathing room! but it's been a month and i feel like#im going to die more and more every night so. 😃 what is a man to do!#i should just fake my death so they have no choice BUT to hire someone new#sriracha.txt#vent cw#negative cw
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Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody
#had someone's husband in my dms going on about how i want this bitch romantically and frankly if i hadn't been so busy crying i would've#actually thrown up . absolutely disgusting idea . vile even . horrid concept#anyway tldr im down a best friend because he didn't tell me anything i was doing was wrong after telling me that everything was okay and#then sent his husband after me to call me a creep that was obsessed with him that also apparently tried to make out w him#the same trip that my best friend of five years told me he hated having me in his hometown to see him graduate.#this was after i found out my cat had been murdered and mutilated and thrown in my granma's garden . that day happened to be my birthday#because my ma was kind enough to drive me and my lil brother down there to go see him graduate bc he was also supposed to move in w us the#month after . and he told me right after i got home that he 'didn't think it would be good for our relationship' and apparently#just didn't know how to tell me until a month before it was supposed to happen . bonkers times over here#anyway i didn't want to make out with him . he cried after i wouldn't have sex w him just last december . which i specifically got high as#shit to avoid . and i dont even have like. actual examples of what i was doing wrong to go off of so now i just get to live in mystery#forever ig. like shocker that the person that's been my best friend for five years would tell his husband to say that to me and not say that#shit to me himself . this is a wild to me . i feel like im going insane . can anybody even hear me what's going on#you know its bad when your mama gets so sick of you crying over a friend that she hugs you for the first time in years#also i cant sleep my head hurts . crying is evil . devils liquid . might watch rpdr or something . still nauseous over the idea of being#into him romantically btw . like still nauseous over that . like what a fucking insult to our entire friendship#does saying that we may as well have been made of the same atoms mean like . nothing . does nothing ive said to or about him not mean anythi#ng if its not romantic in nature . what did i do that wasnt enough for him. i fucking told him he outgrew me and that was fine i just#wanted to know if we were still friends or not and he said we were and i believed him. if he told me the sky was green i would make it so#ripping my hair out . am i being dramatic . am i the only person that wasn't expecting this . am i the only one that didn't know#when i had to tell people who knew about the moving plans that he changed his mind the first fucking thing i was told was “i thought it migh#t happen.“ WELL I FUCKINH DIDN'T . AND NOBODY TOLD ME#this is like . the second most humiliating moment of my life . aside from movinggate because at least nobody irl has to know about this#anyway . this boy could've taken my blood and i'd sit there and smile while he did it because he was my best friend .#i was so glad we got to grow up together. i miss him already. im taking my little brother to school my myself for the first time and all im#gonna wanna do is tell him about it . im tired . i want to sleep . im still so nauseous . did none of it mean anything just because ive#never and will never like him romantically. does that make everything less worthy somehow#i hope he never talks to me again. i dont think i could handle this again. he let is fucking husband say that shit to me. not him.#puppmeo misery
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i have a sneaking suspicion i may be getting sick
#i pray it is not covid#i have a runny noise and my throat hurts a little and when i take a big breath it hurts like it does when you breathe in cold air#also feeling a bit nauseous but im just gonna hope thats leftover anxiety and pms#my dads gf is feeling bad in the stomach too and it worries me that she is here feeling that#<- man who is severely afraid of food poisoning and stomach bugs#could just be my allergies kicking my ass! or my body just being unhappy with the sudden temp drop#being sick over my birthday would be........... it overall wouldnt change anything at all#but you know#just dont make me stomach sick and we are chilling i can deal with the misery as long as im not Scared as well
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im glad everyone else on earth had a good holiday and new years i am still grieving and in horrible agony and i will be for quite possibly years to come. cheers.
#pretty sure my mom thinks ive gotten over it because i played trivia tonight#i just know my parents will bother me if i dont do shit and i cant be assed to find the energy to argue with them#i miss my girl. so much. every day. i want her back.#i cant stomach the thought of going on without her. i cant. even typing this 43 minutes to midnight makes me feel nauseous#it feels like leaving her behind#i want her here with me#i cry every night and i barely sleep and i barely eat and doing any hobbies feels like a violation of her#why love anything. whats the point#im petty and im angry and im selfish and i want my cat back#its not just that shes dead. its that they cremated her against my wishes so i dont even have a body to grieve over#i cant talk to her anymore. shes just not even in the world anymore. my best and only friend isnt even bones.#it isnt right. it isnt meant to be right#one of the reasons i stopped trying to kill myself every few months was because if i went she would look for me and now its swapped#its collaselly incorrect#thats spelt wrong but idgaf#im hurting. thats it. she took part of me with her#i dont want to be in a world where she isnt#i miss her. so much. so so so so so much.#adventures#it isnt fair#this is so awful to say and i know it doesnt work like this im not the main character etc but also like#since the 5th its just been a perpetual -how dare you be happy and be celebrating the holidays when shes gone-#i would give absolutely anything to go back to before it happened#anything#fucking anything in the universe and beyond#i dont believe in the afterlife or spirituality or god or any of that shit. none of it. but i hope i get to see her again#my dad was yacking about getting a new cat and its just like. just shut up. for the love of god shut up#even the night we were at the fucking vet he said we could get another cat. fucking disgusting. i dont want another cat i want HER#when we got her in 2012 i was so mad. i didnt want a cat. i locked myself in my parents room and screamed#if we get another cat im going to hate the poor thing. hang on ive hit 30 tags i need to reblog this and keep going
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never trust a thought that occurs at 2am 💀
#almond chattery#girl...breakups are so. this wasnt even a long rls or anything#i cant stop seeing their face when i said it though. dude it's sooo bad#sorry for sadposting and this being my first post here in forever but i. yeah#like now that the relief from it being over has cleared the guilt has set in#i feel so bad im like nauseous about it. girl this sucks#it for suuuure needed to happen but that doesn't change how i feel about it. and how i feel is like shit#anyway ✌️
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#ugh the eternal debate#both my stomach & autism have decided today is a Safe Foods Only day#the issue is i have no safe foods in my apartment bc i normally get groceries tomorrow#so normally i would just choose (when able) to wapk 2 streets over and buy a $5 lunch from a local shop that ik i can eat#howeverrrr theres an air quality advisory issued rn and oh boy can u feel it. i mean able-bodied ppl prob cant but i fuckin sure as shit ca#so mmmmmmm im in a dilemma to end all dilemmas bc#either i try to force myself to eat something i have here that will def make me nauseous for the next 12-24 hours#or try to walk and get something i Can eat but hurt my lungs in the process & maybe end up needing to call for a cab if i cant make it back#ughahshsjsje#why today of all days#whY#(and no i cant afford to order something. not an option. unless someone wants to paypal me $5 lmao in which case sure. otherwise im fucked)#((im j o k i n g im not asking for money))#(((unless someone is feeling extremely bored and generous today in which case i would potentially consider it lol)))#*walk#*can#no i will not go back and correct my typos who do u think i am#bleh. today is all around a bad time
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I HAVE TO LAUGH I HAVE TO LAAUGGGGFHFH
#when i dropped out of school and started working somehow everything started being easier#my social anxiety got soooo much better . my depression got so much better and i wasnt stressed at any giving time and i thought#that maybe all my mental health problems were just a direct consequence of me being undiagnosed nd in an environment that expected too much#from me without offering accommodations for me to reach those goal#like work is still tiring and overstimulating at times but theres no deadlines!!! i dont have to bend n break my back to get certain tasks#done!!!!! like i have a package of tasks i just loop through and i can plan in my own days and weeks and decide what i will be doing when#and how and theres no wrong or right system of doing things as long as the result is just what my boss wishes for and im AUGDHDGFH im so#lucky to be here#To get back to the point im trying to make tho.#as i left an environment that just wasnt good for me and entered another environment that somehow did wonders to my mental health i rlly#thought i would find peace from now on. Like id still get upset and sad or whatever like non mentally ill people do too#but it wouldnt be to an extent anymore where i wanna hurt myself or disappear forever#and for a bit more than a year everything was good!!!!! started to think i made up all my mental problems tbh#but lately things have been so tuff . i havent been this depressed in years#and like i can still physically do things . i can still go to work and clean my room and take showers and whatnot#but im so exhausted. and i keep crying all the time and i feel like everyone hates me for being so . depressed and i cannot physically do#the one thing i love doing (drawing) like nothing i try comes out good enough which just makes me cry again lol#and i dont . i dont understand it#bc i removed all (most?) of the factors that were making me this mentally nauseous and i was supposed to feel better . i was supposed to fee#good now. but i feel like im back at uni sitting on my bed crying over my notebooks trying to cram all the paragraphs into my head not#understanding why i cant remember anything for my classes . why its easy for everyone but me#everything always seems easy for everyone but me#i really dont understand#is this really a part of me . will i really always be this miserable and insecure? will i always hate myself and not feel enough?#im still the same person i was before i just wear different clothes#my body grows but i just dont grow up
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