#fun fact: the file name is bully yourself

[idontplaytrack]

MY CHARMED ONE [6]

Capri Donahue x Harper Sibling!fem reader

Warnings: coarse language, implied violence. Angry, protective Capri, angst/fluff

In which Capri’s and reader’s relationship start rumours around the school.

“Capri, just- ignore them.”

“I’m doing that but it’s not working.” Capri scoffed, rolling her eyes annoyedly. “You know what? I’m just gonna shut them up-”

“No. I don’t want to deal with that right now…all of them happily yapping away even after you tell them to stop? That’s definitely going to happen.”

“Baby, they’re saying shit about me, about you, about us. I’m not going to just let them run their bloody mouths. A week’s enough fun for them- it’s time to show them who’s the boss.”

You chuckled at the end, “Okay. Have at it.”

“Alright! Everyone, I’m just gonna say this once- leave mine and my girlfriend’s name out of your mouths. None of what we do, what we wear, what we eat concern your pathetic little mind that have nothing better to do. Get on with your fucking lives and do something productive because it is astounding how much you ‘care’ about people who don’t even know you. If you have nothing nice to say, just don’t even say anything.”

“Donahue- my office.” A deep voice causes her to turn on her heel, “y/n, you too.” Unwillingly, Capri follows the instruction of the discipline master, with you close behind.

“So, both your teachers have reported the behaviour of your fellow classmates to me. And, I would like to clarify it with the two of you.”

“Clarify?” Capri raised a brow at the guy, “Mr. Pierce- of course they’ve been making things difficult for us. On Monday someone slipped an absolutely disgusting note into her locker.”

“Our school has a zero-tolerance of bullying.”

“You say that and yet here we are.” You nearly scoffed.

“Ladies, I’m very sorry for what is happening. And we will definitely be taking action against those students mentioned by your teachers. But in the meantime, report any other instances to me. Do not retaliate and make yourselves the ones in trouble.”

“We are in trouble. The whispering, the DMs, the comments- so much of it is homophobic.” Capri pointed out.

“I understand your frustration-”

“I’m afraid you don’t.” Capri snapped.

“Ms. Donahue, if it helps at all- I have a boyfriend. I’m bisexual. So I believe I understand how you two are feeling to a certain extend.” The teacher revealed patiently.

“Oh.” You and Capri responded in unison.

“As I was saying, the school typically already has the option for students to do schoolwork from home. So, I would recommend you two do that. But we do need a parent signature each.” He pulls out two sets of forms from a file and handed it to you and Capri.

“Alright, Thanks.” You said as you took the stack of papers.

————

The rest of your classes were okay- people whispered but before you left class, you told them to shut up and mind their business. “Leave me out of your conversations. I don’t even know who the hell you are. I’ve never seen you before.”

Seeing that you spoke up for yourself, they kept quiet from then on. But as you walked down the hall to your final class of the day, you saw a senior standing in your way as though he was waiting for you. “Where ya going, y/n?” He asks.

“To class.” You rolled your eyes, “Got a problem?”

“Yeah, I do.” He tilted his head, walking over to you as he cracked his knuckles. You started running, but he still caught up to you and pulled you back by the handle of your backpack.

“You got me in trouble, you ugly butch.” He growled, face so close to yours- you felt disgusted. By that and enraged at the fact that he called you a butch- that wasn’t you at all.

You stared at him, “Let me go.”

“I will not.” He glared back at you. The warning bell for students to get to their final class rings.

“Fuck off. I don’t care whatever the hell you want from me, I’m not scared of you.” Your anger was boiling, but you also felt a bit of anxiety. And fear- that he was gonna punch you and break your jaw.

“Shane! Get your hands off my girl.” Capri’s voice rang through the halls. Some students were watching- some took pictures, others took videos. So much for Capri’s warning. Shane flew off from you before she even appeared.

Oh, shit.

“y/n, get away.” Capri exclaimed.

“Capri, stop it.” You tried to pull her away. “Capri- stop. It’s not worth it.”

“Fuck you for laying your hands on a girl. Some guy you are.” Capri shoved him into a locker, took you by the hand and left the school.

“I still have one class, Capri.” You told her.

“We’re ditching.” She told you.

“No.”

“y/n.” She stops in her tracks, “We’re not staying and subjecting ourselves to their bullshit.”

“Fine.” You sniffled, walking away.

“Wait.” She sighs, “y/n…”

Capri caught up to you and led you to her car- it’s not like you were actively running away from her. You were just walking ahead of her.

Before she drives off, she took a good look at you. “What the fuck? He choked you?”

You looked away. “y/n- look at me. Who did that?”

“Fucking Shane- who else?” You snapped, biting back your tears.

She kept quiet after that, not wanting to push you. Capri did, however, stop at a drive-through to get lunch before you both returned to her place. “Mom. Why are you home so early?”

“The school called me. You left school.”

“Because y/n got choked by a senior and was almost punched. I couldn’t stay on and just subject ourselves to more of that shit.”

“What?!”

“Look- the school gave us these forms for you to sign and then we can do schoolwork at home.”

“Yeah, I’ll sign them.” Her Mom asks for it.

“You can’t sign mine-”

“y/n, leave it to me- your Dad works near where I work. I’ll drop by and after he signs your form, I’ll hand them back to the school.”

“Okay.” You nodded, “Thank you.”

“Before I leave- do either of you need medical attention?” Capri’s mom looked up from the form.

“We’re okay.” Capri answered, “We’ll just be in my room.”

“Alright.”

————

“Can I borrow a change of clothes?” You ask while following Capri into her room.

“Of course- whatever you want.” She shuts the door. Capri leads you by the hand to her closet to pick out a change of clothes. During which, you were still desperately trying not to burst into tears because you simply have had enough of crying these days. You eventually picked out a set and she also grabs you a towel. “I’ll go run you a bath, alright?” She cups your cheek, “Come on.” You didn’t want to sit on her bed with your school clothes so you just followed her into her ensuite bathroom.

Once the tub was filled, you stripped off your clothes and she helped you get in. “Will you stay with me?”

“You don’t even have to ask, my love.” She sat down on the floor with you, resting her folded arms on the edge of the tub and her forehead on them.

You leaned back, closing your eyes as you soaked in the warm water. “Is it okay if I join you in there, baby?” She asks- she needed to freshen up too, anyway. You nodded, “Yeah.”

“All this is just temporary, babe. Just bumps in the road. We’ll be just fine.”

“I just want them to mind their own business. I don’t even care about what they’re saying. But why do they find the need to lay their hands on people?”

Capri asked you to scooch forward, so you did and she ended up sitting behind you. She even lit a candle. “That we’ll never understand, but we have each other, and that’s the most important thing.”

“I love you, Capri.”

“I love you too, my darling.” She presses a kiss to the crook of your neck, her arm wrapped around you. “I love you so much. You don’t ever have to worry about anyone wanting to hurt you, because I’ll hurt them a thousand times more.”

You sniffled, “You really are a gift from heaven.”

“That’s sweet, baby. But I’m just doing what’s right for us.” She traces random shapes on your forearm.

“You really are. My Mom made sure of it.”

“I know, baby. That’s why we’ll be alright. All the more we would be.”

[dailyunstableeve]

Together

Hobie Brown x witch!Fem!reader

Chapter Two

Hobie Brown's Masterlist

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .

It's another day of your highschool, you're walking down the hallway trying to get to your locker so you can dodge your bullies. Unlucky for you, that tactic never works for you. As much as how much you wanted to use your power to get you out of here but you know you could end up hurting someone you didn't want to, especially Hobie.

"Where are you going Y/N, aren't we gonna have some fun?" That taunting tone belongs to your bullies.

"Please just leave me alone," you mumbled.

"Can't hear youuu~"

"Please just leave me alone!" You bring out the courage inside you and push your bullies away from you.

"You dare to push me?" The bullies are furious, they stomped their way to you but stopped when a tall figure stood in front of you, his back facing you.

"Did you not hear her, leave the lady alone."

Just like that, your bullies walked away, leaving the tall figure turning to you, "are you alright luv?"

Before you could answer, you woke up from the beeping in the background. That's as annoying as your daily morning alarm. You slowly got up, looking at your surroundings, it looked nothing like your room.

"You're awake Miss L/N," a hologram human appeared in front of you which frightened you a little, "my name is Jarvis, nice to meet you. Please don't be afraid of me, I mean no harm to you, please rest while you can, I shall inform everyone that you've woken up," just once Jarvis is done speaking, he disappears.

You told yourself you should flee but your body is too tired to move, even though you've been sleeping for you don't know how long. All you can do is wait for someone to walk in and hope you manage to convince them to let you go.

A few minutes passes, someone finally walks in, a redhead woman in a nurse outfit and you can immediately tell who's that, even if their current outfit is so different from what they usually wear on mission, you can see through her disguises.

"You're Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow, what are you doing in a nurse outfit?" You bluntly asked.

"Huh, so you know things," she smirked, taking off the nurse cap.

"It's quite easy to tell, judging by uh, you," you nervously smiled, a force of habit to hide the fact your powers allow you to see people's aura.

"So tell me, Y/N L/N, how did you end up here?"

"Pretty sure you know why, the purple alien? Spiderman swung me all the way to the war zone and asked me to help you guys."

"Of course I know that, but I'm curious on how you got your powers" she looked at you.

"I'm a mutant, and I know in papers, my parents aren't mutant, I got it from my grams, she's a mutant," you explained, "please tell me killing that purple alien is gonna get me into trouble."

"Maybe a little," since you've seen through her disguise, Natasha has no reason to hide anymore, she sat next to you on the bed, "but you've saved the world by doing that, maybe you'll get off the hook."

"We've checked your background, it seems like you're in need of money, to support your family and may hope you can continue studying," Natasha read out the file that just appeared in thin air, it must be Jarvis, "we can help you with that."

"By how? Joining you guys to save the world?" You asked, and Natasha replied with a nod, "yeah, no, what happened with that purple alien was an accident, I don't want to use my powers."

"Too bad, you're born with it, use it well, I have people who can help you, give it a try, for five months," Natasha smiled.

"I have to think about it, can I go home?"

"Yeah, I'll prepare a ride for you."

Once you got home, your family was worried sick about you. They updated you that there was a man in black showing up at the doorstep informing them that you're at the superheroes compound resting. Your family can't go there so they can only wait at home, worried sick about you.

"I'm alright now mama," you kissed your mom's cheek.

For the next few weeks you ignore as many calls as you can that aren't from your phone contact, any unknown number will go to miss calls. It is understandable that many dreamed to be superheroes, and fought alongside their idol, to you it doesn't work that way. As much as you thank the superheroes who fought for everyone's safety, especially the innocents, joining them is not what you hope to live your life as.

A few knocks from your window caught your attention while you were struggling on your studies, without getting taught by a professional teacher is really hard for you.

"Who's there?" You slowly peek out from your window. What appears in front of you is the one superhero you admired, SpiderMan, or you should say, Hobie Brown, your high school crush, "Hobie? Oh sorry, you're wearing the mask at the moment, SpiderMan."

"Mind I come in?" He gently asked.

"You can but I think it's best we talk at the fire escape, my walls are thin," you whispered and climb out from your room to the fire escape.

"You look alright."

"Do I? 'Cause I was struggling at my studies," you nervously laughed.

This is a wild moment for you, the person who you admire as a hero and your highschool crush is just next to you.

"So, what do I owe the pleasure for SpiderMan to be on the fire escape outside my window?" You looked at him.

"Just wanted to know how are you since you were out of contact for weeks," he took off his mask, the hair of his just puffed out which it's a sight to see. Other than the hair, there's the face of your highschool crush, the guy you crushed on for four years and lost contact with right after graduation. Seeing the face still reminds you of those days how he's the light of your life during highschool, he didn't cling onto you but at least he would look after you when you needed to and say 'hi' every time passed by.

"Thanks for checking up on me," you smiled and sat down on the edge of the fire escape, Hobie joined you too, "judging by how you're a superhero, I guess you standing up at my bullies is just an action of justice."

Hobie just stayed silent.

"I'll take that as a yes since there's no replies, but thank you for everything you did," you continued.

"You're welcome."

You hope you're getting the wrong vibe but he seems more quiet today.

"I'm actually here because the groupies ask me to get you to join them and protect the world," Hobie said.

"I don't think protecting the world is what I can do, I only bring chaos, with the power I grew up with and couldn't control," you stare down at your palms, you always use your power by a wave of your hand but now you just doesn't want to use it at all.

"They can help you, they are experts, especially that baldie, Xavier," Hobie hummed.

"Thanks but no, I don't want to."

"I can be there, since you only know me," Hobie suggested, "figure you might feel safer with someone you trust or know with you."

Thinking about how Hobie just told you if you go, he'll be there for you, tempts you to say yes but you just have to stay stubborn and convince yourself to never use your power. The temptation is too high, as much as you wish to spend more time with the person you care about, Hobie.

"Five months, if I were to still unable to control my power when I use it, I'll leave."

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

a/n: who could resist their crush 😭 even I can't resist Hobie ;-; I wonder what kinda of story they will ended up.

Chapter One <-

Chapter Three ->

Chapter Four ->

[no-romo-hoes]

I hate VENOM as a film. I hate it. It sucks. But I also love it. It's great. I'll never watch it again. Let's back up a bit. (Before we begin, No I haven't watched the second VENOM movie, so this is from what I remember from the first one)

I love Venom because it's so fucking funny. The symbiote itself, not the film. It's so strong, it's blood-thirsty, it's horrifying to look at, it's an alien, it's murdered and eaten dozens of innocent civilians, but it's got sass, it's easily offended, it likes tater tots and chocolate, and it provides the funniest commentary of any marvel film. It's like having a really freaky roommate that'll tease you all day if you get flustered by an attractive person, then demand you buy them food, then murder your highschool bully because they called you a mean name. He'll even "leave the apartment" for a night if you wanna do something privately. But he'll tease you endlessly afterwards. And the fact that he explained to Eddie how he was considered a loser on his planet makes their duo that much more lovable. Two outcasts from different societies meeting and becoming best friends/in love (whatever your view on their relationship is 'cause it's kinda vague). I seriously love Venom as a creature.

Next, I love how different the hero is to other marvel heroes. Iron Man is a billionare weapons designer, Black Widow has been trained to kill since she was 12, Thor is a literal god, Black Panther is the freaking king of the most advanced civilisation on the planet, Captain America is a super soldier and the textbook definition of a "good person". And then look at VENOM. Eddie Brock is a stressed, unemployed, drug-addict in a shitty apartment that just got dumped by his girlfriend. He is the textbook definition of a "loser". Then he meets this random glob of alien black-cat-energy and he's just like "aight". The most relatable superhero in the history of superheroes.

But I hate VENOM. I was so disappointed when I watched it. The writing of the dialogue was good, but it could have been way better, we didn't really get to see the development of the relationship between Venom and Eddie, nor the character development we would want for Eddie now that he has something to fight for. We see the classic sacrifice-yourself-for-your-friend-but-oh-turns-out-you-survived trope, but there was no time for Eddie to properly mourn. Basically, there wasn't enough angst. There wasn't enough time for it. I think it would have been better as an episode series instead of a film, that way we could have a lot more time for character development, awesome battle scenes, as well as general Roommate Comedy™. To add to this, I was disappointed at the lack of a training montage. Cliché as it is, they went from having just met to "we're unstoppable and have codes and battle strategy and shit", so having some training time on screen would have eased that transition significantly, and the flow of the film would have improved.

This is the most irritating part of the film; the fact that the concept and characters are brilliant but were executed poorly. I would have no issue with a film that was just bad, but to have such a fun and new idea written in such mediocre fashion is infuriating. Now I feel no shame when I say I have searched for reader-insert fanfictions that include the symbiote (not x readers though, I'm not a monster fucker) and there are very few of quality. If you can correct me, please do. So my appreciation of Venom must remain tucked away in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the front saying "beware of the leopard".

[dailybadlydrawnhkocs]

figure out the context yourself

[dirty-urie]

McBrendon

Second Person

Brendon x Female Reader

Unspecified Era

Smut Oneshot

NC-17

3.2k Words

Warnings in order of appearance: RPF, language throughout, not pre-discussed roleplay scene, medical roleplay and language, sex

Author's Notes:

So, basically, I was re-watching Grey's Anatomy, and I was like, "What if Brendon was here?" and then this was born. I have no idea if someone who's never watched Grey's Anatomy would understand or appreciate this, but basically what I think you need to know is that Derek Shepherd and Mark Sloan are sexy manwhores (in the earier seasons), and a common recurring joke in the earlier seasons of the show is putting "Mc" in front of adjectives to describe love interests. The fic is supposed to be more silly than sexy, but maybe it's sexy too, I don't really know.

"Wait, what about those two?" He asks, and you sigh exasperatedly.

"Brendon, just assume that all of the doctors on the Doctor Sex Show have slept together. That's the whole point."

He groans and slumps back in his chair, "Remind me why we have to watch this overdramatic doctor smut in the theater? The theater should be a sacred space for Disney movies or action movies with boobies and explosions, not 'ohhhh does McCreamy only like Natalie because she hooked up with Appendectomy?.'"

"It's my week on laundry duty, and whoever's folding laundry gets to watch whatever they want wherever they want. That's the rules, but you can go watch something in the living room or on your computer or on your phone if you don't like it," you offer, trying to get rid of him. You love Brendon, you love him so much, but sometimes you need to sit in the dark and fold laundry with no other noises except your soapy little doctor show.

"Fine. The men of the house are going to go watch something manly, don't bother us. Come on, Bogart!"

Brendon's little Jack Russell turns to look at you as if asking to stay, but you pat his back and send him off to go snuggle with his dad. You don't think you could handle Brendon's betrayed gasps if you let Bogart finish the episode with you. You and Penny will be fine ogling at Patrick Dempsey while file-folding Brendon's 68 pairs of gray and black sweatpants alone. Brendon kisses your cheek before he leaves. "Have fun with the boobs and explosions, babe," you tell him on his way out of the room.

"Oh, you know I will!"

•••

Two weeks later, it's your turn to fold laundry again, and you're back to watching Grey's, this time in the living room. The dogs are sitting next to you, eyes glued to the screen. Brendon's also in the room, bitching about "introducing this drivel into our home," but you're ignoring him because you don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

He finally quiets down, and you appreciate the five minutes of peace. Until… "Are you unsatisfied with our sex life?" He asks out of the blue.

You're taken completely aback for a second before you scramble to pause the tv. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what? Where did this come from?" you ask him. What the fuck? Is he unsatisfied with your sex life?

"Well, we haven't had sex in weeks practically." Three days actually. It's been three days, but you don't interrupt him. "And you keep watching this sexy doctor show, so I don't know, maybe you're feeling like a bored housewife," Brendon explains.

You laugh at him, and he looks offended. "You're overthinking it, baby boy. It's just a show! Sure, the sexual tension between the entire hospital and Mark Sloan is spicy and exciting, but I'm not trying to compensate for anything lacking in my life. If anything, all that spice just translates into better sex for both of us. Okay?"

He looks very skeptical. "Hm, sure. I totally believe you."

You don't necessarily think you properly got your point across to him, but Meredith just made another bad decision, and you need to see how it pans out. "Okay, great, now go watch a manly show with Bogs in our room if you're going to keep whining."

Brendon does not, in fact, go into your room to watch a manly show on his laptop. Instead, he and Bogart start watching season 1 of Grey's Anatomy, immediately getting highly invested in the lives of the ambitious-yet-messy surgical interns. He's trying to figure out what exactly appeals to you about the show.

•••

It's his turn to fold the clothes, and he's doing it wrong, but you're resisting the urge to do it for him because you're a feminist, damnit. He's still letting you watch Grey's Anatomy because he's a doll (and you don't know this, but he's also become a bit of a fan.)

"Do you think I'm more a Mark Sloan or a Derek Shepherd?" He asks.

You scoff, "You're a George."

"I am not! I'm way sexier than George!"

"You're just jealous because I'm an Addison."

"Pshh, you're a Bailey. You wanna know how I know?" He asks.

"Fine. Tell me." You give in.

"You desperately want to correct my laundry technique."

•••

"Meet me in the on-call room in five," Brendon whispers against the back of your neck while you're drying the dishes from dinner. What is this man doing? "Meet you where?" You ask, but he's already walked away. You're not sure whether to actually wait the five minutes or just try to go find him.

You give him three minutes before going to the bedroom. You honestly don't know what you were expecting, but it wasn't Brendon laying on his side in the middle of your bed, shirtless under a white coat. He has on a pair of navy blue scrub pants that aren't particularly flattering, but they still look nice on him.

"Explain to me what's happening here, homie," you tell him.

"I'm being sexy for you! So sexy! I'm Dr. Brendon "McKinky" Urie, I'm a general surgery attending, but my real specialty is pleasure."

You visibly cringe for him. "You're a McDoofus, and your real specialty is probably malpractice."

He pouts. "Play along. Come on. Please? Be Dr. Y/N Sexy."

You roll your eyes. "Why do you get your real last name, but I'm Dr. Sexy?"

"Because we're not married in this fantasy! We're both cheating on our spouses but not in a tragic way, in a sexy way! Come on! Let yourself have fun," he pleads.

You feel yourself start to cave. "Fine, I'll play along, but I'm stopping this the minute I feel weird, okay?"

"Of course. And, babe, if you don't want to do this, you absolutely do not have to," he says, serious now.

"No, no, Brendon. I'm down for this. I think you're a total goof for doing it, but I trust you."

He brightens, "Great! Now it's time for your examination." He waggles his eyebrows, climbing off the bed and gesturing for you to take his place.

"Exam? Am I a patient? Why am I in the on-call room if I'm a patient?" You ask.

"Doctors need exams too, y'know. We're both doctors, but I don't know, you need a routine exam for like moles or something. Take your clothes off." He says, and you take a split-second to be grateful that Brendon got discovered for his musical talents and will therefore never be an actual doctor.

You stifle back your laughter and strip down to your underwear, lying on your back on top of the white sheet he put over the comforter to protect the bed from any potential messes. He stands over you next to the bed, and you're happy that you at least get to stare at his body during this little experiment. The whole "doctor" thing may not be driving you wild on its own, but your half-naked husband always will.

"Thank you for coming to this appointment, Dr. Y/N Sexy," he says. Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh, you chant in your head. "First," he says, making his voice husky, "I need to test your reflexes." Something tells you he won't be using one of those little hammers. He bends down and breathes against your neck. You shiver, and goosebumps appear on your arms. You're glad you wore your front clasp bra when he unclips it and has immediate access to your breasts. He circles around your nipple with his finger, and they harden quickly. "Mmm, good reflexes indeed. Very responsive," he purrs. "I don't think your test results are conclusive yet. You should keep going," you encourage. He rubs your scalp, and your head rolls back. You're worried that you'll start drooling.

Brendon smirks at you a little, and his smugness is slightly infuriating. Yes, you like him touching you, but that hardly proves that his weird roleplaying was a good idea. "Just like I observed, fantastic reflexes. But I now must move on to the chest exam." He rests his head on your chest, and you're beginning to suspect that this whole thing was just a ploy to touch your boobs a lot. "Is your heart rate always this fast or just when your hot coworker is touching you?"

"Normally only my husband, also named Brendon… for some reason, can get me so worked up, but now I'm thinking of leaving him for you, McCrinkly."

"It's McKinky, and your husband sounds gorgeous and super smart. You should keep him around," he says, climbing onto you and groping your breasts. "In my professional opinion, these are nice tits."

You have to bite your lip to resist the urge to laugh again. You wouldn't quite say you're aroused, but you are having fun at least. "Okay, okay, doc. Enough of the preliminary exam; I need five and a half inches, stat."

"You couldn't round up to six while we're playing!?"

"Oh, come on, you're lucky I rounded up to five and a half!"

"Rude! So rude!"

You kiss him to shut him up. "Sorry, baby, I won't bully you anymore. Now, how about a cervical exam?" You suggest, craving his thickness inside you.

That cheers him up. Brendon resumes his doctor roleplay. "First, let me complete the dermatological examination. If you could remove your undergarments, please."

You throw your bra on the floor and take off your underwear.

He admires the small amount of newly-exposed skin. "So many marks on your breasts and pubic region. Did your hot husband leave these too, or should I investigate for a skin condition?" He asks, ducking between your thighs to add some more.

"Yeah, he left them there. My sexy husband is kind of the best, but enough about him," you say.

New dark spots pop up after he finally moves his mouth from the sensitive skin of your thighs. "Oops, I think I just burst a couple of capillaries."

Well, someone did some light googling. "Do you think I'll make it?" You ask, faking drama.

"Yes, but you'll need someone to pay lots of attention to the area between your thighs."

He never mastered the art of subtly, did he? "I don't think that will be an issue. My husband will be thrilled."

"Great, that's taken care of. Shall we commence with the cervical exam then?" He asks, rolling off you to tug off his scrubs and underwear. He keeps his dumb coat on, which is more goofy than sexy without clothes underneath, but you don't tell him that. "And we can test your motor skills at the same time. Hands and knees, please."

You obey, and he moves behind you to enter you. He pushes into you quickly and hard, just like you like it. "God, there's so much blood in my, hm, um corpus cavernosum… I think," he says.

"Your what? Are you trying to cast a Harry Potter spell? because that's a whole different roleplay," You crane your neck back to see him, and your eyes widen. "Brendon, are you," you need to pause to choke back your laughter, "are you reading from a flashcard? While inside me?"

He's on his knees behind you, squinting at a white notecard. He flips the card over and reads from it, "the corpus cavernosum is, um, the main erectile tissue in the genitals. So, uh, I was trying to say that I'm hard for you."

That's it, you can't contain your laughter. You can't even bear to look at Brendon without cracking up. Tears are streaming down your face. He hisses, and you think it's because you've upset him, but you turn back to look at him, and he's biting his lip, his head tilted back.

"Are you good, B?" You ask, a little worried.

He's breathing hard. "Yeah, just your laughing caused contractions around my cock, and I was not prepared. Felt good, just unexpected." He pulls almost all the way out and then jerks back in, not quite slamming but gearing up to it.

"Faster, please. Careful still, but faster," you request.

He speeds up perfectly, finally filling you up and relieving the ache inside you. You relish each time his hips meet your body, feeling close to him, even if the position isn't as intimate as he usually likes. You suppose successful Dr. Kinky, notorious womanizer, wouldn't necessarily want to make loving, passionate eye contact with all of his conquests.

"So, Dr. Kinky-"

"No, it's doctor Urie, McKinky."

Jesus, you need a script. "So, Dr. Urie, do you have enough energy after all those lobotomies or whatever to rub a girl's clit? I bet my husband, the other Brendon, would touch me."

"Well, I would never even bother to compete with such a stellar man, but I can still try to get you off." His hands move between your thighs to touch your cunt. "Oh no, so much excess fluid here. I hope nothing's wrong." He puts a finger on your throbbing clit and feigns a sigh of relief, "Good, I've found a pulse." His touch is feather-light as he slowly strokes you. The contrast between his fast, hard thrusts and delicate strokes somehow enhances both of his actions.

"Oh, that's nice," you moan.

"You mind if I have you roll over? I still have to test your flexibility, and I'd love to do that with your legs on my shoulders."

"Fuck yeah."

He pulls out, and you get on your back; he gets you ready by situating the pillows underneath you. You rest a leg on either shoulder, and he thrusts in again. You don't want to admit it to him, but you feel like you'll need to come soon. The spikes of pleasure pulsing between your legs have been getting stronger and closer together, and now that you can see what you do to him, rather than just hearing his occasional grunts, you feel even closer to crossing that finish line.

"I'm observing some rapid contractions, Sexy. Should I note in your chart how close you are to coming all over me? Because it seems to me that you're failing your stamina and endurance evaluation," Dr. Urie teases.

You close your eyes to try to eliminate a source of the arousal, but you still feel painfully close to the edge.

Brendon inadvertently shifts a bit, and that does it. Your arousal peaks intensely, and you try to restrain your reactions on the off chance he doesn't notice. However, you're pretty sure he does notice your orgasm when his movements slow to a stop, and that's confirmed when he outright says it. "You just came," he states. It's not a question.

You nod, not bothering to deny it.

He pulls out, and you finally get to see his still-hard cock soaked with your wetness. "Well I suppose, we can run… further tests to reach a full diagnosis," he practically croons, pulling his scrub pants back on, and a wave of lust spreads from your stomach. Fine, the doctor thing is a little hot. "It's up to you though, I defer to your professional opinion."

"I think my exam is complete, actually, but I know you've been complaining of some pain in this region," you give his crotch a quick squeeze. "Do you mind stripping so I can investigate?"

He immediately takes off his coat, obviously excited, and gives it to you, so you put it on. "So, can you describe the pain?" You ask, putting a hand on his thigh.

"Kind of an ache, I guess?"

You squeeze his thigh, "And you'd say the pain is mainly here?"

"No, uh, um, to the right."

You squeeze his other thigh, "Oh, I see, right here?"

"No, not, um, my thigh."

"Sorry, I understand." You lay your hand flat on his stomach, still carefully avoiding his cock. "Your stomach must be hurting."

"Still not quite."

You clench your jaw in fake frustration. "Well, could you just show me where you need my attention, Doctor Urie?"

He shoves down his pants and grasps his leaking cock, groaning in relief when he starts to tentatively touch himself.

"Yes, very good, thank you. Would you say the ache subsides with stimulation?" You ask professionally.

Brendon nods and smirks a bit, "Yeah, you could say that."

"Well, I think you just need to achieve ejaculation," you diagnose.

"Is that, ah, covered under my insurance?" He asks cheekily, still jerking himself.

You laugh, going to dig the lubricant out, "Okay," you nudge his hand away, "leave this to the professionals." You pour the clear lube into your hand. "This may be a bit cold," you warn. He doesn't really need the lube, he's both leaking profusely and still slick from being inside you, but you want to keep up the "doctor vibes." You grasp him firmly and stroke quickly, trying to get him off as soon as you can. You kind of want to use your mouth, but you can't think of a good reason to within the roleplay. That's mostly fine, though, because you can tell he's about to come.

He comes all over your hand without warning a minute or so later. He shudders and groans, spurting twice more. You didn’t realize how worked up he was. Of course, you saw how hard he was, but to come this much from just jerking him off means he was really turned on. "Outstanding sperm production, sir," you say, crudely wiping him up with a tissue.

"Okay, no more doctor talk. My brain is too mushy," he groans.

You take off the coat and get into bed, cuddling against him. "If your brain is mushy, you probably should see a doctor."

He giggles. "So, would you do this again?"

You think for a second. "Well, I'd roleplay with you again, but you have to warn me next time. And probably not the doctor thing again. It was hot playing with you, but thinking about actual medical procedures is not my thing."

He yawns, "Noted about the warning you next time, and that's too bad. I was really looking forward to the oral exam. How big is your mouth? How's your swallow technique?" He says, half-jokingly.

"Hey, don't push it, or we're doing a prostate exam, and due to budget cuts to the hospital, we're going to be low on lubricant."

He cringes, "Point taken. I don't need a doctor roleplay; the next time I want a blowjob, I'll just ask."

You get out of bed and put on your pajamas. "Well, if it's in the next 45 minutes, your request is getting denied because Penny Lane, Bogart, and I are watching the real Grey's Anatomy in the theater while you're still too weak to complain about it. And this is a good time to tell you that my character is not actually a medical doctor. I have a PHD in film studies. I’m a fraud.”

His mouth drops open, "You're telling me that wasn't an official medical handjob?!"

"I trust that you'll get over this. Love you, babe."

He scowls but still mutters a quiet, “I love you too.”

[holeinwallpoem]

I can’t remember if I’ve posted this before or just thought about it but hello ddlc nation. Today I have a post called Monika projects onto Yuri, an analysis by and for me.

This post will contain spoilers for the game, as well as discussions of self harm, suicidal thoughts, and dark themes.

Basically I think Monika projects her own flaws onto Yuri when badmouthing her. I’m starting with what I think is the most obvious to the least obvious, so it’s also going from most to least important. Sorry.

Ok starting off

1. Yuri’s Obsession and “Yandere” Traits

Anyone else think it’s weird how Monika really pushes that Yuri’s a yandere when a lot of people would argue that Monika fits the trope better? Yeah, I know other people have thought that.

Anyway, let’s look at Monika’s dialogue in Act Three about yanderes.

“Hey, have you ever heard of the term 'yandere'? It's a personality type that means someone is so obsessed with you that they'll do absolutely anything to be with you. Usually to the point of craziness... They might stalk you to make sure you don't spend time with anyone else. They might even hurt you or your friends to get their way... But anyway, this game happens to have someone who can basically be described as yandere. By now, it's pretty obvious who I'm talking about. And that would be... Yuri!”

Yeah, it is pretty obvious who she’s talking about. So much that it’s almost comical when she hesitates and then reveals that it’s Yuri, clearly, who fits the yandere trope best. She’s the one who would do absolutely anything to be with the player, even hurting others.

It gets even worse. Monika then goes on to mention “I might be a little obsessed with you, but I'm far from crazy...” and then she says, "There's already nowhere else for you to go, or anyone for me to get jealous over. Is this a yandere girl's dream?"

Reading through this Act Three dialogue, I honestly want to take Monika by the hand and be like. Babe. You are so close.

So much for self-awareness.

Moving on.

2. Yuri’s self harm

So, yeah, we know that Yuri does in fact struggle with self harm, so I’m not saying that Monika made that up. I’m not even saying that she drove Yuri to start in Act Two, since I have no reason to believe that and The Raccoon in Act One suggests otherwise.

Mostly, I’m going to be talking about a special poem. This one.

“Today I cut my skin open for the first time. It was exhilirating. I think I understand how [blacked out name] feels now. I'm supposed to be the responsible one, though. So I don't think I'll be doing it again, unless I decide to kill myself. I left a memento of the occasion below. [Blood Stain]”

Some people misattribute this special poem to Yuri, since we know she self harms. However I think that might just be from people who were here early in the fandom, because by now I think most people know that the blacked out name is Yuri.

(Here is evidence from the file data that I took from this website. I’m not sure how accurate this data is but I do know that there are several other online sources that say the blacked out name is Yuri.)

                 <photoshop:LayerName>Today I cut my skin open for the first time. It was exhiliratin</photoshop:LayerName>                  <photoshop:LayerText>Today I cut my skin open for the first time. It was exhilirating. I think I understand how Yuri feels now. I'm supposed to be the responsible one, though. So I don't think I'll be doing it again, unless I decide to kill myself.   I left a memento of the occasion below.</photoshop:LayerText>

The “responsible one” who wrote this note in the special poems is most likely Monika. (I believe Dan confirmed this, but I can’t find a source right now.)

In my opinion, Monika unconsciously projects her own experience with self harm onto Yuri when she talks about how Yuri gets a high from it. Monika is the one who found it to be exhilarating.

NOTE: Self harm is not an exciting experience. If you are considering hurting yourself, please reach out to a mental health professional or someone you trust who can lead you to get help.

3. Yuri’s “Fictional Boyfriend”

Ok so this is honestly a throw-away line, but it’s something I want to talk about and kind of the reason I made this post in the first place.

Basically, in Act One, if you go on Yuri’s route, Monika mentions that Yuri already has a boyfriend, “a fictional one, anyway.” (I don’t remember the exact line but it’s something like that. Maybe I’ll come back and add a screenshot but for now the source is “dude trust me.”)

So this line stood out to me because, if I’m being honest, I get too attached to fictional characters and I got a little butthurt by Monika making fun of that :(. I didn’t like to think that she was the type of mean girl to bully people for their interests. Then I realized, wait, it is weird for her to make fun of people who look to fictional characters for comfort, especially the people who look for fictional romance. Who does she think her target audience is?

Maybe Monika was just being mean, or maybe it was a dig at the concept of dating sims, but I realized something else.

Monika has a fictional boyfriend.

Nothing Yuri says implies that she actually has a crush on a fictional character, but Monika certainly falls in love with someone who is really only a concept of a person. She doesn’t know anything about us, the players. All she has are her fantasies and fictional ideas of someone who doesn’t even exist to her.

So yeah. That’s my analysis of three specific examples where I think Monika projects onto Yuri. Hope you enjoyed reading. If you didn’t, that’s fine too because I am my only target audience.

[bound-writings]

could I get pomerate and earl grey tea with mitsuba please?

hI YES BB OF COURSE,, IM SORRY IF THIS ASS AND SORRY FOR THE WAIT LOVE U BTW

Mitsuba - Pomegranate And Earl Grey Tea

pomegranate tea; at what point did they know they loved their s/o?

You sat in front of him in your mathematics class, and he tapped you on your shoulder, beckoning for your attention.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Mitsuba Sousuke, I hope we can be friends as we’ll be sitting in name order for a while.”

You looked the pink haired boy up and down, and hesitantly placed your hand in his. His hands were warm and soft to the touch, no calluses like you’d expect from a boy. And this Mitsuba boy was quite cute too, but something about his personality made you feel like you’ve been deceived somehow. You meekly nodded in acceptance and an almost sickenly sweet smile appeared on the boy’s features.

The bell rang and everyone quickly filed out of the classroom for lunch. You stood on your tippy-toes to try and find a puff of pink hair blending in with the other students. You didn’t have a wide variety of friends yourself, and the boy did intrigue you (plus he was cute) so perhaps he wouldn’t mind if you got to know him better? He did ask if you two could be friends so it was like you were intruding, right?

Hastily grabbing your wrapped bento, you hurried after the boy, following his bright pink look he sported so you wouldn’t get separated. Curiously you trailed behind, trying not to look like a stalker, until you realized you were already at the roof. It was a nice day, the cool breeze gently flowed against your body, making your hair sway. Mitsuba sat down, his back against the wall, as he tinkered with something in his lap. A camera. 

Apparently you’d been staring too long because he noticed you and his shoulders jumped. Ah shit, now you had to explain yourself before you looked like a creep.

“W-why hello there Mitsuba-kun! Nice day we’re having, right!?” you asked, smoothing out the wrinkles on your clothing, trying not to look at him. You could feel his eyes boring into you.

“Anyway, I just wanted to see if we could maybe spend our lunch time together? After all you did say you would like to be friends with me right? See, I even got my bento ready here and everything-” you paused midway, glancing at his face for any reaction. He was biting his lip, as if he was trying to hold himself back from saying something.

“Y’know, Mitsuba-kun, is something bothering you? In class today, your smile didn’t look quite right if you ask me. Almost as if it was forced-” you stopped as you heard a soft voice.

“Hmm? Repeat that, Mitsuba-kun?”

“Shut up, you squeaky voice having ass.”

You froze almost comically, processing what Mitsuba said.

“Have you been breathing in too much helium?! Because your voice certainly is squeakier than a rubber duck!”

You were speechless. Mitsuba rose.

“You stalker! Crazy! Dumbass! Because I’m so cute, you want to befriend me only to threaten to spread fake rumors about me! Just because I’m so adorable, doesn’t mean you can have your way with me!” Mitsuba panted after his outburst, sending a glare to you.

(Your face was like ö)

Your mouth was open and eyes widened. Well, looks like you’ve discovered the real Mitsuba Sousuke!

“Hmpt! And the stalker isn’t gonna say a word-”

You burst out laughing, trying to contain your loud guffaws as you grabbed the sides of your stomach, walking over to the cocky boy. He stepped back, his sleeve covering his mouth as he watched you in disdain and a hint of surprise that you were actually still here.

You slid down the wall and patted the space next to you, as you tried to control your chuckles.

“I didn’t expect that from someone like you, Mitsuba-kun! But I think I like the real you better than the fake one, ya know. Come sit here.”

Mitsuba hesitantly inched towards you, and sat down quite far from you. You pouted, sliding over until you bumped shoulders to him.

“You don’t need to be so cold, Mitsuba-kun! I want to be your friend and get to know you. I’m sure you can get those words through that cute head of yours,” you giggled, fluttering your lashes.

Mitsuba froze. Your face was so close to his. He could see your pretty features, long lashes, plush lips, blushy cheeks. (Not cuter than his of course.)

“G-get away from me, you pervert!”

That is how you got to know Mitsuba. And that is how Mitsuba got to know you, (Name) (Last Name), the seemingly crazy person who became his friend despite knowing his cocky attitude. The person who didn’t make fun of him and rather refuted his insults.

Mitsuba could feel his hopes rise, just a bit. Perhaps… just maybe, this year wouldn’t be lonely after all. For once, he couldn’t wait to see you again.

The next day when you came to school, Mitsuba wasn’t there, and the classroom was filled with whispers.

“Did you hear? The Sousuke boy died in an accident yesterday.”

Your heart stopped, as you froze. How? You had spoken with him only yesterday. How could he just disappear, slip away from your fingers like this? What’s more, you felt as if there was a pit deep in your stomach. You had only known Mitsuba for a day, no, a few hours at best, yet you felt such emptiness.

You would never see Mitsuba again.

Or so you’d thought.

–

A few days later, you were walking to the middle school entrance to change your shoes. You had arrived early like you usually did. Mitsuba was still lingering in your thoughts., as you absentmindedly opened your locker to switch your shoes. You switched your shoe as you let out a huff.

A hand grabbed onto your forearm, and you looked up to see who the hell would touch you like that without permission. The hand was cold as if it was a dead person’s hand.

“Hey…”

You used your other hand to close the locker door shut, as it was blocking this mysterious person’s face. If it wasn’t for the hand holding you up, you would have fallen down when you saw the face.

“Did you forget abou-”

“M-MITSUBA-KUN?!” you exclaimed, and immediately the arm retracted from you. The boy looked up and you could see his hands now covering his ears, and an annoyed look on his face.

“Hmph, scream louder won’t you-” Mitsuba was cut off as you jumped on him, tumbling to the floor as his back his the ground.

“Oi, you pervert! Trying to take advantage of my cute self just because I’m dead, I didn’t know you were so-” he faltered when he felt a warm liquid soaking into his sweater. You gripped the clothing tighter.

“Mitsuba-kun… how can it be you? You’re… dead.”

“…You’re making my clothes wet, (Name).” The normally cocky boy couldn’t bring himself to raise his voice. Your warm body on his cold one made him feel almost human again, your warmth seeping into his.

“Mitsuba-kun, we have to catch up on everything!”

Mitsuba’s heart panged. You still wanted to talk to him even though he was dead. You barely even questioned the fact that you can talk to him even though he’s literally a ghost.

“Y-yea. Maybe try putting on your shoes first idiot.”

After that, you and Mitsuba got quite close after that. Mitsuba was surprised when you still wanted to be his friend even though you’d only knew him for a few hours, and was quite frankly rude to you (he’s rude to everyone though.) Despite his real personality, you didn’t shun him, rather you sought him out. He didn’t voice these thoughts, however, deep down it felt good to have a friend. It felt good to have someone who finally accepted how he really was. Mitsuba still continued with his usual berating, and you took it with a grin and a few quips of your own. His heart began to pound against his chest, and sooner or later he couldn’t bring himself to say anything too hurtful. Why though? He never had a problem saying exactly what he thought before. But deep down he knew why.

He loved you. And he didn’t want to say anything too bitchy because he was afraid. Afraid that you’d leave him for being too mean or something else. Damn these feelings… and damn you for making him feel these things he didn’t want. He would probably try to avoid you just so he could keep his mouth under control.

It’s up to you to do something now if you truly love him. (And if you don’t love this boy, what are you even doing???)

earl grey tea; how did they court their s/o?

Mitsuba is way too tsundere to ask you out directly. Bringing up the topic of love and romance just ends in him bullying you for not having a partner yet, and if you’d tried to get someone else’s attention he would probably laugh at you. Of course, secretly he’s glad no one has taken you yet because he wants you all for himself. He’s never going to say those words out loud though. If you love Mitsuba, then you are going to have to take matters into your own hands because this boy cannot do fluffy romance to save his life.

If Mitsuba really loves you, then he’s bound to take photos of you! Whether it’s you gazing out the classroom window or your frustrated face as you chew on your pencil to try and figure out some math questions. Or perhaps your cute sleeping face as you rest on his shoulder. He would always take these pictures when you’re not looking. After all, he once told you that he takes pictures of things that are important to him… and well, you’re never going to let him live it down if you caught him taking a photo of you. He could already hear your teasing voice already.

But you really were important to him. Probably the most important person he’s ever met. You are the person he loves after all.

You are the only person Mitsuba would ever let touch his camera (besides Kou but shhh.) That’s just how much he trusts you. Of course, whenever you ask him to let you hold it, he’ll always act annoyed and begrudgingly place it in your hands but he’s actually quite happy you are interested in photography. Photography is an escape for him, and the only way he can express his feelings for you without sounding like a lovesick fool.

He usually leaves his camera in the photography room so the photos (of you) he took can develop. He never tells you where his camera is though because he doesn’t want you to see that he took photos of you. Let’s just say you were wandering the school one day and stumbled upon the Photography Club. Perhaps some of Mitsuba’s belongings were still here! You entered the room, taking a good look around the room when something caught your eye.

Mitsuba’s camera.

You know it so well because Mitsuba is always holding it. Tippy toeing over to it, you peered at it and raised an eyebrow at the pictures scattered around it. Carefully holding them up, you tried to make out what it was. Many were still black as they didn’t develop yet, however, there were a few that had color in them. Squinting, you furrowed your eyebrows at what you saw.

It was you. You were in the photo.

Well, damn. Mitsuba thought you were good enough to take not one, but a ton of photos of. You weren’t sure whether to be happy or scared. But you were sure of one thing.

You were finally going to confess to Mitsuba Sousuke.

It was after school, with just a few students and teachers left in the building. You met Mitsuba on the rooftop like usual, the red and orange colors swirling around in the sky, as the sun began to dip. He was standing there as always, tinkering with his camera. He glanced at you.

“(Name-)”

“MITSUBA-KUN!!!!”

You ran up to him and firmly grabbed his shoulders, looking straight into his pink eyes, as Mitsuba let out a scream.

“You molester! Pervert! Release me immediately!”

“Mitsuba-kun! I like you a lot, okay?! You might be rude and cocky sometimes- well no, most of the time, but I like that part of you! You’re a camera geek, but I think that’s a cute part of you! And even though you can be really mean for no reason, I still love you! I have for a long, long time!”

Your chest heaved as you panted from your outburst. You hang your head, scared to see what Mitsuba’s expression was as you squeezed his shoulders a bit harder.

Mitsuba was a blushing mess. His face was redder than his hair and his words were stuck in his throat. For once, he couldn’t say anything as he just stared at you.

“It’s fine if you don’t feel the same. I just wanted to tell you, Mitsuba-kun,” you said, your shoulders slumping as you didn’t hear a response, tearing your hands away from the boy, beginning to shuffle away.

Mitsuba’s mouth tried to form words as he grabbed the sleeve of your arm.

“Idiot…” Damn it, of course that was the only word he could say!

“Mitsuba-kun, you don’t need to make fun of me for this too-”

“That’s not what I mean!” he huffed. “I’m trying to say that I like you as well… dummy.”

You raised your eyebrows as a delighted grin appeared on your face. Without warning, you launched yourself into Mitsuba’s chest, wrapping your arms around him.

“You do? Oh yes, you do! I love you too, Mitsu-kun!”

“G-get off of me! And don’t call me that!”

A genuine smile formed on his face, reluctantly snaking his arms around your waist as well. He didn’t say it aloud, but he wished this would last forever.

– 

Extra:

“I’m not surprised you fell madly in love with me, I am so cute after all!”

“Hey Mitsuba-kun? Can you tell me what these are?” *shows him the photos of you*

…

“You stalker! No regards for personal space and privacy, huh?! How dare you steal from me?!” *blushes*

It was nice to enjoy these simple times.

TLDR: mitsuba takes some nice ass pics of u, then u infiltrate his camera and find them and he's like ok fine i love u idiot

[ilguna]

Metanoia - Chapter One (f.o)

Summary: you will be crowned victor of the 75th hunger games.

Word Count; 4.9k

Warnings; swearing

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

This might be it. This might just be the first time you’re feeling emotion that doesn’t belong to yourself. And all you can say about it is: it’s completely awful. It’s nothing close to what your mother had told you about. Right now, it feels like you’re a prisoner in your own body, and you’re not being allowed to feel for yourself.

Whoever your soulmate is, they’re obviously empathetic to the point that it’s crippling. Imagine being this grief-ridden on reaping day. You can’t fathom the idea that any regular person would feel this bad for people. So there’s really a couple of things that might be going on. 

One, your soulmate is a friend of a victor, and they’re worried that their favorite person is going to get pulled to go back inside. Two, they’re family of a victor and it’s the same thing. Three, it’s an empathetic person--which you can’t stand. Or four, it’s a victor themself.

No matter the way it goes, their emotion is cancelling out yours. You don’t want to be full of sorrow, you know for a fact that somewhere deep in your body, you’re absolutely bubbling with excitement. You’ve been looking forward to today ever since the games were announced in the winter.

Today is the day.

And yet, you can’t pull yourself out of bed. You’ve been staring at the white ceiling for at least an hour now, setting yourself back. It’s like all the enthusiasm has been drained from your body, and you’re actually regretting your decision.

A slight shiver runs through your body at that thought. You draw the line there, you’re not going to regret anything. 

Pushing yourself up, you slide out of the silk bed sheets before you can change your mind and go back to laziness. You don’t bother fixing the blankets, not really caring for the fact that they’re in disarray. You never make the bed, and you won’t start on it today either. It’s a tactic of stalling, and there’s no reason for you to.

Before the shower, you decide on picking out the dress. Something gold and glittery, which is just about the entire wardrobe. You didn’t actually buy any of these dresses, they were all given as a gift from your stylists or Capitol citizens when you spent your summer after the games, inside of the Capitol.

You pick out a floor-length dress that’s a mix between black and gold. Two set colors that you can match easily. You kick out the heels that are also black and somewhat glittery. They don’t have the actual heel part to them, but they are engineered to look like it, and they’re pretty easy to walk in. They’re always your go-to when it comes to special things like this. 

The dress is only a little bit poofy, and it’s on the lower half. Either way, it goes down to the floor, and there should be no chance of anyone seeing your feet to know that you’re reusing another pair of shoes. There’s a v-neck plunge, but it doesn’t show much skin, you still look pretty modest. In the back, it’s open.

It’s definitely a dress you could find yourself wearing during the interviews with Caesar. Or a dress you would have worn after your first tribute had won the hunger games. You’ve only mentored twice, and both of them came out alive. After that, the job was handed onto them since they were the more recent victors.

All your jewelry resides on the white vanity, but you don’t bother picking those out. You toss the dress over the back of the chair, and move the shoes nearby so it won’t be a hunt. After that, you go ahead and get into the bathroom to take your shower.

You scrub your entire body clean, even though you know that you’ll be washed again inside of the Capitol about a dozen times. You do the basics to your hair, and when you get out, you’re putting product after product in so it’s ready when you do finally come around to it.

You pull on your undergarments, skipping your dress as you head downstairs for breakfast. There’s no shame in going downstairs half-naked. There’s no one else here to call you out on it.

You hit the bottom of the stairs, and while you’re navigating through the living room to get to the kitchen, you pause in the open doorway, a little surprised to see who’s sitting on the white loveseat.

Tanith is flipping through one of those books that are on the bookshelf for pure decoration. From here, you recognize the pink cover like you received the book yesterday, when it’s been years. A gift from your then-district representative, the cover reads in nice script writing, ‘how to get used to your new wealth’. Written by some asshole inside of the Capitol.

“Riveting.” Tanith looks up from the book, eyes landing on you. But she freezes, “God--I’m sorry--”

She covers her eyes, and you can’t help to laugh, “Really?”

You walk past her, heading into the kitchen. You dig through the fridge, pulling out some fresh fruits that you’d bought yesterday from the store. On top of that, you pull out a few eggs too, pop bread into the toaster, spray some cooking butter onto the pan so the eggs won’t stick, and work away.

“I should have knocked instead of walking inside.” She says, “That’s my fault.”

You shrug, “I have no shame, not after my time in the Capitol.”

“I expect not.” you can hear the light scraping of the stool against the tile floor, “You really want to go back inside?”

After the games had been announced, all the victors in the district had gathered together to have their own little meeting. Cipher the people who didn’t want to go back in, and make the ones who did, known. The old were automatically ruled out either way, whether they wanted to go inside or not, they’re too delusional. Old age has rotten their brains, some can’t think straight anymore.

There had been a good handful of people that wanted to go back inside. The only problem was that everyone wanted to do it based on capabilities again. To keep you guys on top of the pyramid as usual. You can’t send in someone who would die off immediately. Thus, a competition started.

As time went on, people were slowly weaned out. Based off of strength, fighting capabilities, who still knew the edible plants, the medical knowledge. If you were able to still present well, with the cute dresses, the white smiles, the charming personalities.

It brought it down to only a couple of you. Sorcha, an older woman in her forties who’s fit even after all these years. She’s arrogant--even more than you--and mean. She’s self-driven, disregards most of the people that come across her. She started off as a Capitol favorite, but now they see her as a total bitch.

Daleka, in her thirties and a very skilled fighter. She won her games by being completely ruthless. Her personality is likable, the Capitol complained when she stopped visiting and mentoring all together. Has a wife and a kid she adopted from the foster care place.

You, of course. Only twenty-five, still seen as somewhat fresh off of the arena. Nine years may seem like a long time to others, but not to you. Along that time, other districts have won too. Like Annie from four and Johanna from seven, and your most recently hated, Katniss and Peeta from twelve. 

But that doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re one of the top three for the most recent out of the arena. First would be Zavian, next would be Tanith, and then it would be you. Everything is still very fresh in your mind, since you were the one that had mentored both Zavian and Tanith. What you’re saying is, you’re a perfect candidate.

Anyway, the final girl that had wanted to go in was Enobaria. A Capitol favorite, like most of you are. Fierce, confident. She got her teeth filed to be sharp because of her signature win of ripping a tribute’s throat out. Fun to be around, nowhere near bubbly like some people think.

And for the boys, the list was quite large, and you wouldn’t be able to name all of them on one hand. The whole point of this is, there could only be one girl and one boy sent in. Therefore, the competition narrowed it down for everyone, as the challenges progressively got harder.

For boys, Brutus won. Tall, bald, muscular. He’s in his forties, but he looks to be about late thirties instead. He’s cocky, a complete pain in the ass, and he would be difficult to fight. But he’s an ally that you can’t deny wouldn’t be good to have at your side.

And for girls, you won it. You practically blew Sorcha and Daleka out of the water. Enobaria was much more difficult to shake, though. She’d obviously continued studying even after her games. You might have been a softie back in the academy, but you were a quick learner, and all of it stuck like it’d been glued with superglue. 

The volunteer is yours to have. And if you chose to back out, there would be no harm in it. That’s why Enobaria is there, she’s the backup in case you were to choose to do something like that. However, you didn’t fight tooth and nail with a bunch of bullies just to quit it. You want that win.

“Yes,” you answer Tanith’s question, “I do. Afraid I won’t win?”

She snorts, “Hardly. I’m afraid that you’ll be a murder machine.”

You look over your shoulder at her, “Have you eaten yet?” 

“No,” she says, and with that, you serve her the eggs, toast and berries. After that, you slide her the butter for her toast, “Thank you.”

As you go back to cook your own breakfast, you smile down at it, “Obviously you haven’t watched my games.”

“I was fifteen.” she objects, “I watched them. What I mean, is that I’m afraid you’ll become a murdering machine again.”

“That’s what all the victors are, not just me. Look back at anyone’s games from this district and you’ll see that.” you pop a strawberry into your mouth, “And it’s not like there’s much to lose, either.”

“This big old house?” she proposes, “Me?”

Tanith has uncomfortably clung onto you like a parental figure. She came straight from the foster care herself, an orphan. Academy took her when she turned eight, because obviously no one would miss her. She was just as deadly as you were, when she turned seventeen. You hand picked her yourself, even though there were ‘better candidates’ for it.

She’s your first winner, like how Zavian is your second. You were sure to keep him out of the same games with Tanith, knowing that it would screw the whole system. You’re fond of them equally, but unlike Zavian--who was eager to get away from you as fast as possible--Tanith has stuck around.

Take today as one of the many examples.

“I like how the house was your first priority to say.”

“You speak about this place like it’s a home base.” she reasons, “You seem to like it more than me, what can I say?”

You go ahead and plate all of your food, turning off the stove but leaving the pan. If you put it under water so soon, the metal will warp from the temperature change, and ruin it. It won’t sit right ever again.

You stand opposite of Tanith, leaning against the counter as you eat, “I wouldn’t say I like it more than you, that seems like an overstatement.” you decide to change the conversation, bored of this one, “Should I be worried about anyone else coming to visit?”

“Enobaria was.” Tanith says, picking at her egg, “She wanted to come and be the one to harass you about volunteering. I told her that I’d take the blow.”

“Smart girl.” you say, stabbing your fork into your egg, walking as the yolk runs out, and straight to your toast. The berries are long gone, “Well, I guess she’ll find out when I volunteer.”

“What’s the point of it, anyway?” she asks, “I mean, you have everything you could have wanted, right?”

“You and I don’t think the same.” you say, “You remind me of myself, back when I was on my victory tour.”

She gives you a confused look, “Is that compliment?”

“I’m more or less calling you humble.”

“Thanks…”

“And mushy, you’re an overthinker. You like the simple things, you won and now you’re done, right? You’re not bothered by the fact that you’re just another face, another name among this crowd of victors.” you take your time eating between sentences, “Me, on the other hand--who would give up the opportunity to be a living legend?”

She hums, nodding a little bit, not knowing what to say. It’s a rhetorical question, there’s a ton of people that have passed on this. But the idea is way too tempting. Possibly double the cash, and you literally get put into the books for not surviving once, but twice? The Capitol citizens love you now, wait until later.

You finish your breakfast quickly, taking your and Tanith’s plate as you move over to the sink, running water over them. Next, you go ahead and place the pan in there too.

“I’ve got to get ready, are you sticking around?”

“I should report back to Enobaria.” Tanith says, you can hear the chair again, “I could come back later with Emi, if you want.”

“Whatever.” you say, heading towards the staircase, “Don’t worry about me too much, kid. I’m unbreakable so far.”

“So far.” She echos.

There’s no goodbye as you go up. By now, your hair is pretty dry. In the bathroom attached to your bedroom, you go ahead and get ready now. You brush your hair, blow dry only a little bit, and then straighten. When you’re done with that, you curl and hairspray.

By the time you’ve moved onto makeup, Tanith is back with Emi already. Emi is older than the both of you, but she has more experience when it comes to some things. She picks out the jewelry for you, and does some of the harder parts of your makeup. The both of them work together to get you into the dress, and then help with the shoes too.

Standing in front of the floor-length mirror, you double check everything, asking yourself if this is what you want. With a few more turns, you decide that you’re going to get praise for the outfit choice. The Capitol will be impressed with how dressed up you got for it. Others might see it as some joke.

You have about thirty minutes before the reaping, which is when you go to leave the house. It isn’t until you’ve stopped at the door, when you realize that you’re missing some sort of token. You tilt your head from side to side, trying to remember what you wore in your first games.

A necklace, wasn’t it? Given to you by your then-boyfriend. He later broke up with you because of your performance inside of the games, which he wasn’t expecting at all in the slightest. Because of this, you kept the necklace as a reminder, it’s tortuous, and you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing it now.

“What are you waiting for?” Emi finally asks.

“I need a token.” you tell her, still staring at the staircase, distracted.

“Earrings, necklace, bracelet…” Emi urges slightly, “Ring?”

“No.” you tell her, “Wait--yes for the necklace.”

Your hand finds it, already dangling around your neck. Another gift, Tanith. Some souvenir she had gotten from the Capitol during her visit after she won. This will please her.

“Never mind, it’s on me.”

You leave the house, closing the door with a slam, since it’s a bit shifty when it comes to closing. After that, you wait at the bottom of the steps with the other two, watching as people come out of their houses, one by one. In no time, you’re all walking towards the stage in one big herd.

“Not everyone can visit you, but I definitely will.” Tanith says, “In the departing room, I mean.”

“Sweet.” you look over all the district people who dressed up nicely, despite the fact that they’re not going to be the ones going in. You catch the attention of a few people because of your out. You wonder if they know deep down that it’s because you’re going to volunteer.

“Zavian even agreed too. It was supposed to be a surprise but I know how you feel about them.”

It’s like showing up uninvited. Like her being inside of your house without any prior warning. You guess that’s somewhat your fault too, since you hadn’t talked to anyone yesterday. You were too amped up about today. It’s funny to you, that you were allowed to feel excited yesterday, but so unmotivated today.

Maybe your soulmate was full of anxiety this morning.

“Wanna know something cool?” you ask Tanith.

“Sure.” She looks over at you, but you’re still staring off at everyone you pass.

“I think I actually do have a soulmate.” 

Tanith gasps, covering her mouth. You look over at her, confused by the reaction, until you realize that it was genuine excitement, “Really? That’s good news! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

You shrug, “Didn’t see it as important. Haven’t heard anything from them in a long time, so I thought they were as good as dead.”

“It’s good news.” Tanith looks happy for you, “I wish I’d come across mine already.”

She looks down at her wrist, running her finger over the words.

“You’ve got plenty of time.” you tell her.

“Says you. You were so worried about it.” Tanith says, and before you can object, she adds: “Come on, admit it already.”

You give an exasperated sigh, “I suppose.”

She smiles a bit.

Tanith helps you up the staircase to the stage, which almost looks brand new. It isn’t though, it’s just pristine clean. Unlike the other districts, two is highly loved. Which means that the entire district is rich, except for a select few who were born in the poorer part of the district to begin with.

It just means that everything looks nice. The stage is white, it hardly had dirty footprints. You watch as some comes across with a broom to brush off the dirt after everyone has stepped onto the stage.

District Two is practically a second Capitol.

This year, no one sits in chairs. The girls stand on the right, in the back stand the tallest, and the front stand the shortest. You’re fairly tall, you’re able to see over most people’s heads. Most of the girls in the district manage to be short anyway, it was just the genes that you inherited that allowed you to be tall.

You’re given an easy escape route, the same as Enobaria as a backup. If your name is called, no one is allowed to volunteer over you. However, if you don’t volunteer fast enough, then that leaves it up to grabs. There’s a whole list of people that are dying to be able to go back inside.

Two people sit in chairs, waiting for everyone to file in and get comfortable below the stage. The first is the governor, a woman you’re not that fond of. She got on your nerves back when you had won your games. Back then, you were taking a lot of trips to the Capitol to have work done on your body. She was getting irritated about it.

The second person that sits next to the governor, is the district representative. A short man with loud opinions. He’s one of those people that you wouldn’t mind being thrown inside of the arena with. He’d likely be torn apart like the tributes are a pack of wolves. 

He thinks of you guys as used tissues. There’s been a couple of times when you’ve gotten in his face because of what he said. Nearly shredded him right then and there in front of a few peacekeepers and tributes. If people think you’re scary normally, then they haven’t seen you angry.

It’s a disappointment that he is the district rep. You wish he would jump off a cliff and die. 

Once everyone is in their respective places, the governor gives her speech that she gives every year. It’s the one about the dark days, a required speech. In the group of girls, you whisper the words in harmony. After she wraps it up, the rep moves forward.

His name is Theo, a boring name. Unbearably common and simple. You thought the Capitol people were supposed to be extravagant. This man is a disappointment in more than one way, it turns out.

“Happy hunger games!” His voice is what you’d like to also describe as ‘average’. Not deep, not high pitched. Average, “Let’s start with ladies first, shall we?”

As if it’s a question any of you are allowed to answer. You know someone in this group--mainly Sorcha--is dying to yell back ‘actually no, we shall not’ just to see his reaction. Forget the tributes being seen as monkeys, the Capitol people’s reactions are just as entertaining.

He sticks his white-gloved hand into the bowl, spinning his finger around while he puckers his face. He’s likely thinking, ‘Which one looks the most presentable?’

‘It doesn’t matter!’ you want to yell back, ‘I’m volunteering either way!’

It’s building up unnecessary tension. You scowl, eyes glued to his hand as he finally picks a damn slip of paper. He pulls it out, his suit sleeve nearly clipping the mouth of the bowl, and goes back over to the expensive microphone. He pulls off the black tape, and reads over the name.

“Tanith Nuova!” he smiles widely, looking over towards the girl section.

How funny, your own tribute getting called out. It’s a sign. If you didn’t have your mind made up before, you do now.

“I volunteer!” your voice rings out, no one is surprised.

You slide out of the section of girls, along the way, Tanith holds out her hand, and you slap it for a high-five. A small smirk appears over your face as you gracefully go to where you need to stand. One look at the choir of girls, and you can see that you’re nowhere near out of place with how you’re dressed. Plenty of people look like they’re also ready to head back to the Capitol.

Theo doesn’t look too thrilled, his face puckers again as he heads to the microphone, “(Y/n) Rosecelli for our girl.”

He moves over to the boys now, doing the exact same thing that he did the first time. You glare at him out of annoyance. You manage to catch the eyes of Brutus to see he’s shifting on his feet, clearly fed up with this too.

Theo finally gets to the point of it, “Cobalt Struyk--”

He barely gets out the last name when Brutus’ voice overpowers him, “I volunteer.”

Brutus comes over, standing in front of the boys bowl. Theo, scowling and hinting at the beginning of a temper tantrum, motions to the two of you, not even bothering to introduce Brutus.

You hold your hand out for Brutus, and he gives you a smirk as he takes it. Once you have a hold of each other, you turn towards the cameras, holding up your intertwined fingers, a giant grin on the both of your faces.

Two volunteers, it’s unsurprising to the entire nation. They’re expecting volunteers, but they definitely weren’t anticipating those who would step forward.

“Ladies and gentlemen, our tributes for the Quarter Quell!” Theo says after he managed to pull himself together. He skips the bit about shaking hands, and the two of you are then escorted off of the stage.

You begin in the direction of the departing room, noticing how the peacekeepers follow you and Brutus tightly. By the time you get to the building, Tanith and Zavian are already there, in your room.

“What’s with them being so stuffy?” you ask once the door shuts behind you.

“I heard a few districts are getting out of hand.” Zavian leans on the arm of the couch, “I guess it’s better safe than sorry.”

Another reason why you don’t like that Katniss girl, look at the mess she’s made of everything. It was fine before she came along, fucked up the process. Should’ve gotten over the fact that both of them couldn’t win. It’s not like Peeta was a use anyway. Like you’ve said before, deadweight on her fragile, little girl shoulders.

“Well, this is goodbye.” Zavian says, “Thanks for mentoring me.”

Tanith elbows him, giving him a glare, “You could at least be a little sympathetic, douchebag.”

He raises his eyebrows, “That’s a new one, what else are you gonna call me?”

For a second, they’re staring at each other. And then, Tanith grabs her arm like it’s going to detach itself. You watch in awe as she holds it out, looking down at the words.

“Oh, this is unbelievable.” Tanith now looks like her arm can detach, “I’ve been paired with a moron.”

Zavian doesn’t look that phased, taking one look at his arm, and then shrugging. Almost like nothing that went on in front of you, actually happened, he looks at you again, “Good luck in there, you’ll need it. Twenty-three people to fend off? May the odds be ever in your favor.”

Tanith isn’t very good at brushing it off, but she knows her time is limited. She comes over, holding her arms out like a child. You hug her, for her own sake and squeeze her tightly.

“Will you actually use the necklace as a token?” she asks.

“Well, I need something.” you say, “It’s better than nothing.”

“I’ll be rooting for you.” She pulls away, “Thank you for being the greatest person, ever.”

“Cheesy, she hates it.” Zavian comments, laughing a little to himself, “Look at the look on her face.”

Tanith pretends not to hear him, “I know she’s not fond of affection but--” she backs away entirely, “--you should know that a lot of the victors do like you. Truly. Sorcha and a few of the other’s won’t say it, but they love you. We all do.”

You give her a smile, “Thanks.”

“I’ll send anything that you need.” she says, “Make plenty of allies. Be ruthless.”

She’s quoting you. Those are the exact words you said to her last, before she was off to the hovercraft. It’s funny how they’ve stuck with her this long. They must echo inside of her mind like an empty chamber.

“I will, I promise.” you take in a deep breath.

The doors open, “Time’s up, time for the train.”

You look over the two people that decided to visit you, and you open your arms one last time. Tanith comes over willingly, and it takes Zavian a moment before he realizes that it’s extended to him too.

“You two are my pride and joys. Two of my biggest achievements, really. I’ll be back soon, and then you guys can praise me all you want.”

“Get off of me.” Zavian laughs, pushing away now.

“Bye.” you tell them firmly, before turning around and heading towards the peacekeepers.

One of them presses their hand to your lower back, guiding you to the car where Theo and Brutus await. Theo goes in first, since he’s royalty. Next is you, and Brutus nearly weighs the entire car down when he steps inside.

Theo begins muttering about something, you’re not entirely sure if you’re supposed to be listening or not. You want to tell him to shut up, but Brutus beats you to it. Theo glares, you can see him mouth the word ‘ungrateful’ and then stares out of the window for the rest of the time.

When the ride is over, you purposely hold onto Brutus, making him wait, “Open the door for us, Theo.”

He looks over like you just insulted his mother, “Huh?”

“I said, open the door for us. This is our spotlight, after all.” you motion, “Go ahead, before the peacekeepers do it first.”

Brutus is smiling, and he pushes Theo towards the door forcefully. Theo doesn’t like this in the slightest, popping open the door, and holding it open for you and Brutus. Brutus lets you go first, and you step out of the car carefully, holding onto your dress.

Out of the car now, Theo leads you up to the train station. Around you guys are a bunch of peacekeepers still, getting you up to the platform, and then taking on an automatic position behind you guys.

You take your time, waving with a smile at the thought of the fact that the next time you’ll be here, you’re going to be a two-timed victor.

–

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Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello CorvusDraconis and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you so much for sitting down with us to chat.

You’re a well known and beloved figure in the SS/HG community for your many stories - including a personal favourite of mine, A chance for happiness.

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? 

I have always had a fascination for the shiny things and the Northwest Coast depictions of Raven the Trickster/Creator, and, I tend to hoard (and get super protective) of my art supplies. Corvids have always been a positive sign in my life. They tend to show up when I’m feeling down and engage in funny antics in the yard. As for dragons, I’ve always had a love for them and think the Western depiction of them as dangerous beasts with no mind but for hoarding treasure and killing people only to be slain by a knight quite despicable. 

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

Severus, actually. I see a lot of my life in his. Hardships, challenges, bullying— trying to be something better and later wondering about unwise decisions. I have a very similar dislike for dunderheads, but I do not share his inclination to denude rosebushes of their petals. Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general) I have always preferred fantasy and sci-fi. 

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

I am not sure if you would call it a classic novel, but grew up on all things Tolkien (and even puzzled through the Silmarillion at the grand age of seven), and have a special place in my heart for Watership Down. While I’ve read pieces like War and Peace, Iliad, Ulysses, Pride and Prejudice, Grapes of Wrath, Moby Dick, Great Gatsby, Little Women, Catcher in the Rye, Tom Sawyer/Huckleberry Finn, Scarlet Letter, Don Quixote, To Kill a Mockingbird, Animal Farm, Jane Eyre, Lord of the Flies, Tale of Two Cities, Heart of Darkness, Robinson Crusoe, Alice in Wonderland, Great Expectations, Odyssey, Frankenstein, Dracula, Crime and Punishment, Heart of Darkness, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, The Secret Garden, Treasure Island, Anne of Green Gables, Les Misérables, Peter Pan, Gulliver’s Travels, all things Jack London, 20000 Leagues, etc.— they never captured me as aptly as Anne McCaffery’s Dragonriders of Pern or Mercedes Lackley’s the Last Herald Mage. Though, if I were to pick classic stories I read more than once (litmus test for things I like) it would be things such as The Secret Garden, Call of the Wild, Wild Fang, The Hobbit, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,  and The Last Unicorn. At what age did you start writing? The moment I could pick up pencil and paper, I was writing. I had notepads full of stories I wrote as a kid. Alas, my dad found them one day when I was off to college, made fun of them, and I came home and burned every single one in mortification.

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

The moment TV shows did “stupid things” to their characters. I used to write things about Beauty and the Beast (the old CBS show) when they killed off the main character, Knight Rider, Robocop, Transformers— there are probably far more that I just don’t remember now. I was writing it long before there was a fanfiction dot net or a term to even call it. What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works? I am a shameless romantic for the beauty within and sometimes the quite literal love for a monster (not just some person who acts like a monster and changes into a better person.) The misunderstood monster is perhaps my most favourite theme, and it shows up in my stories often if not always. What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter? I ship SessKag from Inuyasha, Lucard/Sophie from Dracula: The Series, and Loki/Hermione when I’m feeling crossover-y. If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon? Other than my favourite fanon that Severus lives/survives/finds a better life free of two masters and his guilt, I would say I would want Harry to wise the heck up and realise his father was a swine, his godfather was an almost successful murderer that used his own best mate to try and kill off another student, and his mother wasn’t all that hot either. I would want him to find value in himself without having to make stuff up about his “perfect” parents. Then again, I would want Vernon/Petunia to be arrested for child abuse and put in gaol, but— then the story would have been very different XD Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet?  Sometimes quiet, sometimes music. But usually, I am best mates with Spotify.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

In the HP universe: I honestly don’t read many of them because I’m always writing my own stuff XD, but when I really feel like I need a good Ron bashing SSHG HEA, I read just about anything by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse. However, that being said, I often return to “The Sun is Often Out” by Hannah-1888 for just the right amount of angst and HEA to make me happy.

In the Inuyasha universe: A Trick of Fate by PristinelyUngifted

In the Marvel universe:  Mutual Respect Sends His Regrets by moor

In the Star Trek universe:  Gratified By Your Company by starfleetdream

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

I go by the seat of my feathered rump, to be honest. Inspiration is a fickle, unpredictable beast, and I usually don’t know what is going to happen until it does.

What is your writing genre of choice?

Fantasy

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

Chance of Happiness because it was my very first publication. It may not have been my best, but it was my first, and it very well could have been my last yet somehow wasn’t.

Looks Can Be Deceiving and One Step Forward, Two Decades Back are two epic tales that seemed to demand being written. The fact I finished them was something I think deserves a little pride.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?

Looks started off with me attempted to write Dramione just once. It failed. Draco demanded to be her brother of the heart, Viktor came in and said “nope she’s mine,” and no one was more surprised at the outcome of that story than me. The characters did what THEY wanted.

I learned that trying to plan a story from start to finish is useless when the characters decide what they want. The story demanded more, and I was just a conduit that typed it down. For me, at least, attempting to outline and plan is utterly useless

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

I think every story I write is personal in some way. The inspiration comes from somewhere inside, and I often have no idea what it is until I go back and read it later. I think the story wrote itself in a lot of ways, which made it easier in a way, but there are a lot of things I can’t say were from personal experience because as a high fantasy of talking gryphons and such I can only imagine it. There is no basis in real life on how any of that would go down. There is a freedom in that but also many challenges in making it real enough to identify with despite how alien and fantastic the idea is.

What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing?

Dragonriders of Pern introduced sentient dragons and the idea that despite a vast difference in species there could be teamwork and love between the two as they teamed up against a greater threat.

The herald-mage books by Mercedes Lackley were also important staples in my childhood because it impressed the values of responsibility despite having powers others did not, and that people were fallible despite greatness and potential.

Gandalara Cycle by Randall Garrett and Vicki Ann Heydron: I cannot tell you how often I read this story. I had dog ears on these novels because there was so much I loved about them. It was a search for humanity when displaced in a seemingly alien world, societal clashes, and the great sha’um (the giant rideable cats) that were the main characters’ partners for life.  

 The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C Wrede: A princess rebels against her arranged marriage by running away to be a dragon princess.

All of these books had creatures in it that chose to partner with a human and be with them for life, not as lovers that you find in the more modern supernatural romance blender out there, but the ultimate friend for life— the family you choose.

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

Oh heck no. Hah. They have their secrets, and I have mine. Personally, I think mine are more healthy than theirs.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? 

Very.

I write for myself. Sometimes I’ll write a story for one of my betas or a sshg friend, but for the most part, I write for my own entertainment because nothing like what I write is out there. There is a lot of SSHG out there, but mine is almost always a creature feature story. I blame X-Files growing up. It tickles me that others enjoy my stories, but in the end I write to get things down and out of my head. They just so happen to entertain others as they do me.

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I will often engage in A/N talk at the end of chapters, but I really don’t engage in the fandom. I loathe social media. That being said, I read every review, and while I don’t reply to everything because FF dot net is a horrible platform for messaging anymore (or ever was really)-- I appreciate every single one. Sometimes it helps to know people are enjoying the story for the story’s sake.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

Get a beta, even if you are pretty good at writing. Get one because a second pair of eyes will catch things you don’t. Read your own stuff out loud. If you trip over it, your audience will too. If you stumble, so will they.

Get a beta who isn’t afraid to tell you that your shite stinks in places and you make no sense. You may want a cheerleader, but what you need is a beta. If you are super lucky, you can have both at once.

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

I play computer games and sew things. I’ve sewn a lot of things lately. Scrub caps and masks for work— 

There has been a lot of writer’s block lately due to the times, and I will not write when I’m uninspired. I will not force inspiration. That’s not fair to me or those unfortunate enough to share in the reading. I want to be able to go back on a story I wrote and enjoy it and not curse at myself. XD

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Sometimes certain catch phrases and things from real life friends have trickled in as a sort of Easter egg (unbeknownst to them since I don’t tell them I write fanfic). Sometimes random news stories or whatnot find their way in. Lessons of the day. Random events. Things that are too odd not to stick in my brain somehow. I can’t say I always do it on purpose, though.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

No, I have a goal this year to finish off the unfinished stories. This is made harder because Dragon and the Rose keeps adding more and more bunnies into the idea bin, and my brain wants to run with them, but I’m like NO DANGIT, I HAVE STUFF TO FINISH STILL!  It’s a hard thing trying to finish what you start when so much interesting stuff pops up and waves at you like “heeeeeyyyyy I’m cool too!”

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Keep writing but remember you can always be better. You can always improve.  Writing isn’t a popularity contest. It isn’t about how many reviews you get or how many fans you may or may not have. Write because you want to write. Write what you like not what other people like. Write for you because in the end, you are the one who goes back to read it and say “I wrote this story, and I still love it” instead of forcing yourself to write something just because the topic is “popular” and gets a lot of visitors. Write something you’ll be proud to go back and read and enjoy. You’ll find when you write something genuinely, readers will come. And if only one person leaves you a paragraph review on how much your story meant to them out of someone else’s hundreds of  “great!” (with nothing else)-- think of what you value more.

If my story helped someone through a dark time.

Just one person—

Then it was a good effort.

Maybe that person didn’t have the bravery to leave a message. Maybe they are ashamed. Maybe they send you a PM instead of a review.

That is, to me, the ultimate reason why I realised that despite writing stories for myself that there are people out there that needed to hear my story at just the right time in their life. If my story can bring a little joy to someone else, then it doesn’t matter how many reviews I have. It doesn’t matter that I don’t have thousands of reviews like “that other author.” What matters is that I told my story; someone out there read it and it spoke to them.

I love hearing from people and what they liked about my stories, but I also am glad that there are some people out there who secretly like my stories but do not feel safe enough to review.

So, I would say to the aspiring author: write for yourself but share it. You never know whose day you will make with your story. They may never tell you. They may tell you years later (happened to me!). There is a good chance that someone out there needs your story as much as you need to write it. That being said, find yourself a beta to share your journey with you. You may find a few friend in the process.

Thanks so much for giving us your time.

You are quite welcome.

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: The Rebellion of Adrien Agreste, ch. 15

Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Kagami Tsurugi, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Luka Couffaine, Lila Rossi/karma, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/aneurism, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Plagg & Tikki

Characters: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Lila Rossi, Jagged Stone, Plagg, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Luka Couffaine, Penny Rolling, Anarka Couffaine, Rose Lavillant, Juleka Couffaine, Kagami Tsurugi, Alya Césaire, Chloé Bourgeois, Wayhem, Nadja Chamack, Nathalie Sancoeur, Sabine Cheng, Tom Dupain, Tikki, Fang, Principal Damocles, Caline Bustier, Ms. Mendeleiev, original minor character, Alec Cataldi, Lila Rossi’s Mother, Sabrina Raincomprix, Roger Raincomprix, Mylène Haprèle, Le Gorille | Adrien Agreste’s Bodyguard, Nino Lahiffe, Nooroo

Tags: Lila Rossi salt, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Teenage Rebellion, Swearing, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Crack Treated Seriously, Lila Rossi’s Lies Are Exposed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Luka Couffaine Needs a Hug, Paparazzi, Parentification, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Gabriel Agreste Needs an Aneurism, Uncle Jagged Stone, we’re all queer here, the spirit of punk is sometimes just being allowed to be yourself, Kagami Finds Her Groove, punk rock fashion, Savage Kagami, Marinette protection squad, Good Parent Sabine Cheng, Good Parent Tom Dupain, Protective Kagami Tsurugi, Protective Luka Couffaine, Bisexual Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Pansexual Luka Couffaine, Sharing a Bed, Pet Names, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Instagram, Bullying, Social Media, Anxiety, Makeover, Hugs, will cure your acne, Face Punching, Bad Ass Juleka Couffaine, Rumors, Protective Juleka Couffaine, Protective Adrien Agreste, Lawyers, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Holding Hands, accountability, mental health, Jagged Stone’s well-paid pet shark, How to Make the Evening News, Sexy eyeliner for days, one fish two fish Lila is a screwed fish, How to have fun and piss Gabriel off, Fuckery, sweet litigious karma, Alya sugar, lawyer shark doo doo doo doo doo doo, Schadenfreude, Bad Ass Alya Césaire, Gaslighting, abuse denormalization, Jagged likes his lawyers like he likes his pets: toothy af, Blood in the Water, Everything you didn’t know you wanted and some things you did, Gabriel Agreste is shark bait, Denial, Consequences, Principal Damocles salt, caline bustier salt, the impotence of Gabriel Agreste, snarky Nooroo, lies and the lying liars who tell them, Lila’s brain is a narcissistic hellscape, Lila’s mind is built like an Escher piece, Alec Cataldi salt, Adrien Sugar, wholesome salt, Fu Salt, Kwami Shenanigans, Nooroo is a little shit

Summary: The Impotence of Gabriel Agreste

Notes: I’ve received some amazing fanart for Rebellion. @redcoloredpanda drew Luka and Adrien snuggling, and @momo-oh-nono drew Marinette’s rocker outfit! So now chapter 17 is writing itself in my head, yay! Thank you for inspiring me!

AO3 link

Chapters 1-2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14

------------

Gabriel Agreste watched, fingers steepled, as the scene outside the school unfolded. He had, of course, realized quite quickly attempting to counter Adrien’s claims would be a foolish move. True or not, he would look like the villain if he were to try, accused of homophobia and perhaps classism given the way this Luka boy dressed. He had cancelled the story that was to appear, and hopefully nothing would leak.

On the bright side, he had a patsy. Lila was a loose cannon, currently proving so to the entire world, and he could easily claim she had mischaracterized her relationship with his son. She was currently trying to do the same thing, taking advantage of the fact that Adrien had not yet arrived to the mob of reporters.

“He told me he loved me. He told me we would go public, and he used me and then dumped me,” the girl was telling a reporter tearfully.

Gabriel was rather displeased with the implications of that accusation, which could impact the brand.

Fortunately, the reporter was more interested in the limo that had pulled up and deposited… was that the young designer?

The girl nearly fell, but someone rushed forward to embrace her. When the camera focused…

Kagami Tsurugi.

Nathalie shifted beside him, and he could feel through the miraculous that she was as startled as he was.

He could only assume Adrien was also in the limousine; from the “leaked” text messages the previous night and implications on social media, Marinette Dupain-Cheng was an accomplice. But this meant the scion of his business partner, someone he thought would be a good influence on his son, was likely also involved. Her presence was unlikely a coincidence.

Perhaps this was information he could use, but he filed it away for later as none other than Jagged Stone exited the limo next.

Despite the video the night before of the “jam session,” it was unexpected to see the rock star accompanying his son to school.

The announcement came as a surprise, as he didn’t follow the music world terribly closely, and certainly not a ruffian like Stone. Gabriel had been unaware that Marinette had been so prolific, that she had designed anything beyond the bowler hat.

“Please prepare a dossier on Mlle. Dupain-Cheng,” he ordered Nathalie. She immediately began to tap away on her tablet. “And perhaps her parents as well. We should know who we are dealing with.”

Next to leave the limo was Adrien and his… boyfriend. Clearly, the Gorilla had not been able to intercept them as ordered. Though he’d seen the disaster that Adrien had made of his hair in the photos and video the previous night, it still shocked him.

He studied the body language of his son and Luka Couffaine, frowning. They appeared to be close, the other boy looking at him in such a way as to make the “boyfriend” claim believable. For the life of him, Gabriel couldn’t figure out how they could have met—though from the dossier Nathalie had prepared it seemed the boy’s younger sister was in Adrien’s class.

When Mlle. Tsurugi caught Lila’s wrist, he found himself letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. From the angle of the camera he had been uncertain who she intended to hit.

The teens played for the cameras masterfully, and Gabriel couldn’t help but be a little impressed. If this was staged, they had organized a believable PR opportunity on extremely short notice. If they weren’t working against his interests, he’d consider giving them internships at Gabriel.

Beside him, Nathalie let out an involuntary incredulous snort at Lila’s ridiculous accusation of pederasty.

Luka Couffaine gave a remarkably level response, and barely had Lila spoken again than the cameras jostled, moving around in a way that made it difficult to see what was happening, though it sounded like Lila let out a little shriek.

The camera’s focused on a young woman with purple in her dark hair as she yelled, “How dare you talk about my brother that way! You’re not worthy of the bottom of his shoes!”

Rather creative, as far as insults went.

Jagged Stone saw fit to introduce the girl as Luka Couffaine’s younger sister, who had been mentioned on the dossier Nathalie had prepared on the “boyfriend.” And identified their mother as a former bandmate of his.

Gabriel let out a disgusted sigh. Of all the riff-raff Adrien could consort with, he chose someone close to a disaster of a man like Jagged Stone. That certainly explained why the rocker was involved.

Lila’s desperate claims that Luka Couffaine was courting Marinette Dupain-Cheng, though interesting, were quickly refuted.

And then Kagami Tsurugi spoke, a complete falsehood as Gabriel had not been aware of this supposed boyfriend before Adrien took his Instagram account rogue the previous evening. He would have to find out if she was being misled or intentionally lying to damage his image.

He frowned at Mlle. Dupain-Cheng’s allegations of sexual impropriety toward Adrien by Lila, glancing toward Nathalie. “Have HR investigate that.”

The cameras jostled again as Lila childishly threw herself at the girl. When they focused, Lila was on the ground, a woman in a smart business skirt suit looking down at her with a bored look on her face.

Nathalie started typing notes on her tablet as the woman, apparently M. Stone’s lawyer, outlined a list of charges against Lila. Her fingers stopped at Lila’s accusation—which, while twisted, was technically not entirely a lie.

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. He had miscalculated, using this girl. She was far too much a loose cannon, clearly, out only for herself. He had known that, of course, but thought her controllable, someone who would not bite the hand that fed her.

“Have HR fire her immediately. Gabriel social media should put out a statement announcing that, stating an investigation will be made into the sexual assault claims.”

More drama unfolded on the TV, the situation interrupted by the inept principal of the school. Lila’s attempts at getting Mlle. Couffaine in trouble were cut off by the lawyer, who announced further charges based on the defamation and attempted assault against M. Couffaine.

He watched, stewing, as a touching goodbye took place between his son and the other boy, as they exchanged pet names, even.

Truly, if this was a performance, much had gone into it in under 24 hours. It left him uneasy.

The paparazzi continued filming as Mlle. Tsurugi left, as Jagged Stone tried to coax his ridiculous crocodile out of the limo, as Adrien and Luka flirted further, as Lila shrieked and tried to interrupt through what would have likely been violence if not for the snapping crocodile taking offense to her.

Her ire turned to Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, whose large father stepped in front of her as a shield, before she was scolded by the principal and ordered into the school.

Lila’s last attempt to turn matters in her favor, claiming Marinette was a bully, was laughed off by Jagged Stone.

The press swarmed them, calling out questions that were largely inane at best, though the one questioning the relationship between Mlle. Dupain-Cheng and Mlle. Tsurugi caught Gabriel’s attention.

“I think a call to Mme. Tsurugi shortly will be in our best interests, perhaps,” he murmured.

“I’ll add it to your schedule, sir.”

He was impressed when his son shut down the reporters, asserting his right as a minor not to be filmed. The boy had jumped to defend Mlle. Dupain-Cheng from a question regarding the “leaked” text messages, confirming he released them himself.

Ending his association with Lila Rossi was necessary, particularly if she was foolish enough to leave such damning evidence to be released.

The drama moved into the school, where the cameras would not follow, and Gabriel stood.

“You will watch through a butterfly?” Nathalie asked.

He only nodded in response as he moved past.

Gabriel didn’t transform until he was safely in his lair, ignoring the reproachful look from Nooroo. He quickly sent an Akuma out toward the school, letting it hover so he could get a better picture.

What he found was… boring. The group including Adrien and Mlle. Dupain-Cheng were seated outside the principal’s office, waiting on something. The girl herself was half-asleep against her mother.

Movement and anger caught his attention. A woman was stalking across the courtyard, then up the stairs. She marched right to Mme. Bustier’s room and started yelling… in Italian.

He guessed this was Lila Rossi’s mother.

The argument spilled into the open-air hallway, the rage from both of them potent Akuma possibilities—though he preferred not to use the younger Rossi any longer.

The Akuma was noticed, he realized, when shock and horror assailed him from all around. The Akuma dipped lower, drawn by the tumult, only to be captured.

Lila Rossi’s mind was a dungeon of grudges and entitlement, filthy and haughty. It always had been, but the sheer narcissism of her inflated self-import was cloying in a sickening way.

Before he could even begin to speak to her, though, pain assailed his senses, and he was abruptly aware that his connection had been severed. When he had his senses back, he realized his Akuma had been captured in a jar. He didn’t know what had led to that, but the emotions he felt were even more promising than the Rossis’.

The guilt and horror and anger of Alya Césaire was so potent he sent the Akuma beating against the glass to try to reach her, to no avail—it was only as strong as a simple butterfly. He couldn’t Akumatize her, no matter how powerful she would be. He couldn’t send out another Akuma, not with one already out, and Nathalie wasn’t strong enough for another try at Scarlet Hawkmoth, though this was the perfect occasion for it.

Before long, the Akuma was shut in darkness, and was thus useless.

He snarled in frustration, letting his transformation fall. Nooroo only regarded him silently.

Useless.

Only the mundane was left to him—a call to Mme. Tsurugi, after he’d calmed.

It would be hours, the Akuma long since purified by Ladybug, before he’d realize he could have recalled the power and sent out another.

No amount of railing at Nooroo would give him that opportunity back—and the kwami only murmured cheekily, “You didn’t ask” when Gabriel demanded to know why he hadn’t recommended it.

--

Marinette felt her phone buzz on her lap and snuck a peek at it.

Kagami: Are we dating now, too?

She could feel the heat rush to her face. A coughing fit overtook her. She only vaguely aware of what was going on around her, until a cup of water was pushed in her hand and she found herself in the hallway with Adrien.

He looked concerned, so she silently showed him her phone.

Another text had come in, as it turned out.

Kagami: M. Agreste called my mother. She wishes to know the answer to the question from that reporter.

To her surprise, he quirked a cheeky grin, his eyes lighting up. “Oh, you should.”

He was going to be the death of her.

[smile-files]

melon’s comprehensive kinlist!

including name of character, source, image, short personality description, mbti, and then why i kin them! take your time to read, or don’t. i get it if you don’t want to scroll through an entire page just to psychoanalyze me lmao, have a good time

1. wirt (over the garden wall)

an angsty, socially awkward dweebus who nerds out over interior design and plays the clarinet. fears death. infp.

my first kin! for a month after rewatching otgw i desperately wanted to be him. to be like him. anything!! it eventually wore away but i still feel that urge sometimes - the urge to write r/im14andthisisdeep poetry and to distance one’s self from their siblings... and heck - his tape for sara is indeed just as awkward as he is but let me assure you that his poetry and clarinet are actually pretty cool. 9/10 i need to see him more. give me more otgw comics. ok thanks.

2. snufkin (moomins)

a philosophical vagabond of vague age. acts stoic all the time but can and will leave every social situation whether or not it’s humanly possible. infp.

after watching some 90s moomin (and later on moominvalley) i realized how much i liked him and how much i was like him; i soon daydreamed of myself, as snufkin, venting to someone. it made me very happy. i vibe with his general demeanor and ideals (minus his gripes about rules, i follow those by the book) and i love psychoanalyzing him. so fun. so fun.

3. arnold perlstein (the magic school bus)

overly-anxious jewish kid and certified expert on rocks and panicking. owns a pair of fire-proof pyjamas in a lovely shade of green. isfj.

you all saw this one coming. my early childhood lives in my mind rent free and such i can’t help but revisit arn and his character. i’ve always loved him (even in, and quite possibly especially in, the reboot) and i’ve always loved psychoanalyzing every single little thing he does (remember that one time he said he was traumatized? me too). i soon realized a lot of it was me projecting! so sue me. actually, sue miss frizzle. either one of them. i mean, if arnold really didn’t like the field trips he could’ve just filed a restraining order! ...just saying.

4. fluttershy (my little pony)

anxious pastel butterfly baby child. probably loves animals more than she loves herself. cries upon impact. isfj.

the pony i’d mentally point to and think “me”. i had like 10 fluttershy-related things growing up, like plushies or funko pops or that sdcc guardians of harmony thing. while not shy in the same manner, it was nice having a character i could relate to about so much! i cosplayed as her equestria girls form for my first comic con as well, so that’s pretty cool. in addition, me being a little lepidopterist means i was bound to love her. it was destiny~

5. lammy lamb (um jammer lammy)

socially anxious and generally anxious rock star who thinks literally everything is a guitar. has an emotional support girlfriend. infp.

man!! she embodies the feeling when you have to go to the eye doctor by yourself to get your glasses fixed or when you have to call someone over the phone... that sheer tension. the panic. the feeling of ‘i want to throw my entire being into the trash can’. but lammy has a bunch of friends to support her, so she’s cool. died by slipping on a banana peel! same, sister. and man would i like to shred on my ukulele now...

6. loser (bfb)

humble (screw bfb 21), supportive, well-loved cube dude who’s voice is like that of an angel. has an entire fanclub in his honor. enfj.

okay, no, i was never a cool kid or ‘popular’, really, but in school i was never bullied for whatever reason and was generally well-liked; i hung out with a squad of weirdos and yet the cool kids would often talk to me? and try to engage me?? despite my very apparent self-deprecation and awkwardness??? either way i feel like it’s such a blessing to me, that i have so many friends! i often feel like i don’t deserve it, but hey. it’s nice! and heck, back when i was on scratch i had a little fanclub myself :0

7. fan (inanimate insanity)

nerdy, friendly aspie boyo who subliminally vents via blogging. longs for stability in his life; was best friends with an egg. entp.

ever since i noted his aspergers-like behavior i became super attached to him - whether or not it was intentional, i found it nice having a character i can relate those feelings with. he’s really sweet and dorky and i love how he gets along with test tube, paintbrush, and lightbulb! it makes me really happy to see him whenever i do. it made me really sad when he was eliminated. what the heck. yeah i dunno i don’t kin him super strongly but i love him to bits.

8. spinel (steven universe the movie)

emotionally unstable clown girl who stood in a garden for thousands of years. patience of a saint. edge like an 11-year-old me. esfp.

uhh um uh totally wasn’t completely disturbed by how much i related to spinel after watching steven universe the movie... totally wasn’t reminded about how and why i hated middle school... totally didn’t rethink my life that day... that’s it. this is all i’m saying.

9. molly blyndeff (epithet erased)

innocent child who has a terrible father and a wonderful demeanor. teddy bear who needs a hug and a criminal as her new dad. infp.

epithet erased is adorable okay?? i knew molly was infp in the first few minutes... more precisely, i knew she was me. man!! i don’t relate directly to her angst but i still feel it. i can replicate her voice so accurately it’s scary. also, i coined a new thing -  ‘molly cake’! you have a chocolate cake, preferably with chocolate chips inside. use chocolate frosting and add little pastel star sprinkles! on top! my mom would make this cake for us anyway but then i realized it was literally just molly in cake form. and it’s just as sweet!

10. tommy coolatta (hlvrai)

a 30-something-year-old child who rocks a propeller hat. chose his last name off of a dunkin donuts menu despite the fact that he has a father. infp.

everyone loves tommy. he’s so sweet? and funny and loveable?? often times when i say something funny but bizarre, i just remember that tommy has said ‘soda helps you see faster’ and it makes me happy. if i’m going to be a weirdo i want to be the wholesome weirdo who loves soda and has a .png for a dog! also i legally have to kin tommy. i took a test for it (and i’m not complaining! i find it quite flattering).

11. twyla (monster high)

the daughter of the boogeyman; would very much like to boogey out of here, if you know what i mean. avoids people like the plague. infj.

seeing her role in the show and in the movies, i really love twyla? first of all, her voice is my new favorite thing. it’s like... gravelly? and soft? she’s the type of person who would very much like to disappear when in a crowd; thankfully, she literally can. i am drawn to any sarcastic, self-deprecating introvert who takes care of their bonkers extrovert friend (in this case howleen), as i often act as such myself. also the phrase ‘boogey sand’ will never leave my mind now :)

12. lapis lazuli (steven universe)

water gem who wants you to leave. cynical as all heck, sensitive as all hell. is there such thing as a gem therapist? just asking. infp.

in a similar way to twyla, i vibe with lapis’ sarcasm and wit as well as her emotional side. it can be kind of addicting, isolating one’s self. anywho, me and my sister used to do this routine of yelling up to each other this certain dialogue between lapis and peridot when peri was leaving for something (in which lapis replied to everything she said with dry ‘yeah’s); i would always do lapis’ part. i do reply a lot with ‘okay’ or ‘yeah’ or ‘cool’ to things people tell me, as i never really know what to say.

13. brad meltzer (xavier riddle and the secret museum)

shy jewish butterfly kid who absolutely hates time travel. attracted to people who know how to socialize like a normal human being. infp(?).

okay okay so... combine everything from arnold and everything from fluttershy and that’s basically what brad is to me. a jewish socially anxious nerd who loves butterflies and drawing. badabing badaboom, there i am. that’s it.

and boom! all of the kins i can think of, of course not including comfort characters like will byers from stranger things or isabelle from animal crossing. if you have any kins to suggest to me, i would love it! thank you for taking your time to read this, friend! have a fantastic day :)

[percywinchester27]

About a boy (Part-3)

Word count: 3.3K

Warning: Suspense, feels, mention of physical abuse and bullying

Characters: Dean, Cas, Gabriel, Benny, Michael, OCs and… Sam?

Summary: Dean Winchester has a secret. A secret that could really land him in trouble. He never expected to connect with anyone when he walked into the ‘Blue Stone Orphanage for Boys,’ but even then, the walls he has put up are slowly coming down. Now, a series of strange events are threatening to expose him. When everything starts falling apart around him, will he still be able to save the one person that matters the most?

A/N: Many thanks to @thing-you-do-with-that-thing and @deanssweetheart23 for beta reading this story. I love you guys <3

Part 1 Part 2

Cas prayed. Every day. He woke up each morning, sat on the bed with his feet folded Indian style and hands joined in a Namaste. Dean would just look up from his bunk and there he would be meditating on the top in his boxers and a loose tank, eyes closed, back ramrod straight. It was funny, Dean actually cracked a smile.

For the next few days he stuck to Cas. Going around with him to the school which was about a mile and a half away, and then back. Cas didn't seem to mind. In fact, he seemed to enjoy Dean's company. Dean would be lying if he said he had been used to something like that before.

On the outside, it looked like Cas was taking him around the place, showing him the ropes and such, but in the few minutes they managed to snatch away from the prying eye, they were always plotting.

Dean realized one thing. It was hard. Finding Sam was going to be hard as hell. Even harder than what he thought it was going to be. 

Sam had been 6 months old when he was thrown into an orphanage, and as Cas pointed out, it might have been completely another orphanage. He might have been transferred here and it could be as recent as a couple of months ago or as old as a few years. 

Dean was also curious about his fellow roommates. Cas said they were nice boys, but Dean had his reservations. Gabriel, or Gabe, as Cas called him, was loud and obnoxious, he had the cheesy behavior, but his whiskey colored eyes were always full of mischief, like he knew something about you that you didn't know yourself. His brown hair was on the longer side, and his smile dripped cunningness. Gabriel's bed was always littered with chocolate wrappers. Even though it was against the rules to get stuff like that from outside, no one seemed to rat Gabriel out. It was as Cas had said, he had one up on everyone. Gabriel didn't show any particular interest in wanting to get to know Dean, and Dean was thankful for that. Gabriel smelled trouble, and he didn't want any of it.

The other roommate was silent and kept to himself, but that made Dean even more wary of him. Benny wasn't in the face like Gabe, but he was just there, observing everything quietly. It was unsettling, like everything he did was being watched, was being noted. To add to that, he never seemed to sleep… like some sort of a vampire. It was disconcerting enough that he was now confiding everything in Cas when he had promised himself that this was going to be his own battle to fight. Now he had gone ahead and included Cas in it.

But, boy, it relieving. 

Cas was just as excited to find Sam. He went over the whole management system with Dean. The place was owned by a Styne family. The head, Eldon, barely ever showed, about twice or thrice in a year. Andy was the one who managed everything. He knew that Michael and his little parade of goons were up to something, but as long as everyone remained scared of Michael, it maintained the place in order, so he turned a blind eye towards that, until something brought it to glaring attention, like Gabriel's little stunt the other day would have.

In the coming week, Dean learnt the hierarchy. Michael's two main supports were Gary and Raphael. Cas had warned him to not cross paths with them, because after what had happened, they wouldn't waste a second before ratting him out.

It was Cas' brilliant plan to sneak into the record room in the evening when everyone was out in the grounds playing and having fun. It would have worked well, but just as they were about to sneak into the record room, Andy called out to them.

"Winchester!"

Dean stopped in his tracks and closed his eyes, praying that he wouldn't get caught. 

"What're you doing here?" Then Andy realised that Dean wasn't alone. "You're hanging out with Castiel?"

"Is that a bad thing?" Cas asked, voice feebly brave.

Andy smirked. "Not really. Didn't expect you to hang out is all. What're you doing inside at this time?"

"Thought I'd take Dean around the library," Cas managed, effortlessly.

The older man eyed them, especially Cas, then shrugged. "Fine, if you're gonna nerd out together. Just lock the door when you're done. I'm not waiting back till you two are done. I have a hot date."

That was too much information, but the moment Andy turned, Dean exchanged an excited look with his friend. They were alone now. 

Ascertaining that Andy was truly gone, the two of them rushed to the record room and shut the door behind them, facing the rows and rows of filing.

"This is going to take ages, isn't it?" Dean mumbled.

A corner of Cas' mouth pulled down. "Guess so."

They set to work anyway, trying to figure out the system of filing. After half an hour of going through the pile, Dean finally said out loud what was on his mind. "Why did Andy sound like he wasn't expecting me to hang out with you?"

Cas wasn't visible to Dean, as he was working on the rack after his, but his hushed voice was still audible. "Let's just say I'm not the most sought out kid here."

"What does that mean?"

A sigh.

"This place is like the jungle. Survival of the fittest and all that… You look like you could fit right in with the predators."

What Cas meant was pretty clear. Dean gave off that vibe, what with the sullen looks and his dad's overlarge leather jacket, he would be expected to hang out with idiots like Michael and his gang. He would be expected to give in to their stupid initiation test, lick Michael's ass and raise to the ranks of the bullies instead of being bullied.

"I'm the nerd of sorts. I let people be," Cas added.

Something still didn't add up. From what Dean had seen, Cas wasn't a bully, but he wasn't bullied either.

"That first night," Dean said slowly, weighing his words, "Michael could have easily hurt you, or his guy Gary, instead they just restrained you and shoved you around. Why?"

Another sigh. Apparently Dean was asking all the questions that Cas didn't want to answer… but he did anyway.

"Michael and I… Well, we go back a long way. We come from the same orphanage. I've known him as long as I remember… He's the closest thing that I have to a…"

"Brother," Dean completed. The word hung awkwardly between them.

"He's not a bad person," Cas said, "Just angry and bitter. Life hasn't been fair to him."

Who had life been fair to? Dean thought. If that had been the case, none of the 712 boys would be rotting here at the home. He didn't say that out loud though.

"I figured it out!" Cas exclaimed, all of a sudden. "I figured out the filing system!"

He bent around the rack to see Dean, blue eyes wide with excitement. "These are stacked according to the year. That means the one who came first, the box would be at the very end."

"Great!" Dean groaned. "Now we have to find out when Sam got put into this one, too."

*******************************

It took more than a couple of weeks.

Mostly because Andy didn't have a date everyday to abandon his post, but also because Dean had his share of duties, too. The cleaning, the washing, the babysitting duties for the little kids. 

Sometimes, Gary and Raphael would cross him in the corridors, a few more of the older kids would give him looks, but for the most part everyone just ignored him. Who was he but another sheep added to an overly large flock? No one cared.

He quickly realised one thing though, if it hadn't been for Cas, it would have been a lonely existence. Gabriel, he learned, had been from the same orphanage as Cas, too. They had been transferred here about 8 years back. Benny was new, but Benny also didn't care. The place could go down in a tornado and he still wouldn't care.

Through the chores, the school and the scheming, Dean couldn't help but look around the kids bunking on the 4th floor, searching for eyes that looked like his, a gait like his or a crooked smile here and there. There were at least 100 of them aged 11 to 14. How was he ever going to find Sam.

"Tell me what you remember about him most clearly?" Cas asked one evening as he dumped the contents of pale brown box on the floor of the record room.

Dean thought for a second before replying. "I think it's the smile."

"Smile?" Cas asked pleasantly surprised.

"Yeah. I'd tell him that we could practice ball when he grew up and he'd recognize my voice and smile."

That wasn't a helpful detail. Cas knew all the kids, but that didn't help if Dean couldn't remember how to pinpoint it. There had to be something distinctive about him that Dean could remember. Something that would help.

"Tell you what? If you keep going at it, you'll remember something helpful I'm sure."

The comment was encouraging but Dean wasn't sure if he had it in him.

"So, what's your story?" Dean asked, more to distract Cas from the conversation.

"My story?"

"Yeah."

Cas scratched his black hair. "There is nothing to it. My memory begins in an orphanage. Seems like my folks weren't interested in me from the get go."

Must be hard, Dean thought, to know that you were never  loved enough. Sure he had to deal with the searing pain of losing his mom and dad like that, but at least he knew it in his bones that they had loved him. Did that make losing them worse? Probably. But was the possibility of love better than never having been loved at all?

"So who gave you your name?"

Cas surprised Dean by grinning sheepishly. "Someone at the old orphanage was a bible freak. They named all the kids after angels. Michael, Rapahel, Gabriel, Castiel… see where this is going? Basically, if you find a biblical name around here, you know where the kid came from, yeah? Kind of makes the distinction easy. Right, Dean… Dean?"

Dean had gone shock still.

"Dean, you okay?"

"How old were you when you came here?" Dean asked, urgently, dread growing in his chest.

"4 months," Cas answered, "We found my file the other day, didn't we?"

"Yes! But we went through all the files from that year and we didn't find Gabriel's. He was put in the same year, too. That means-"

"There are missing records?" Cas completed, voice hollow. 

Dean stumbled back into the cabinet, the file he was holding slipping out of his hand. If Sam's records were misplaced, they could go through these files their whole life and never find Sam.

"Don't give up, Dean," Cas whispered, but the words fell on deaf ears. He should have known that this was too good to be true, too easy. As if just by looking at all these folders he was supposed to find his brother.

As if after everything, things were just going to go back to normal.

Dean skipped dinner that night. Cas called him, but he just pretended to be asleep, till Cas had gone away. The darkness of the room wasn't enough to shroud the hopelessness that he felt within. What was he doing in this alien place. Dean didn't belong here. He missed the dry heat of the place that he thought of as home, now. Missed the stains of dark grease, the damn smell of a garage on rainy thundering nights. 

It was thundering that night, too.

The sky cracked and lightening thundered in the dark sky. Dean held on to the crib tighter.

"Shhhh… Sammy," he said running his fingers over his brothers forehead. "It's gonna be alright."

"C'mon, let's say goodnight to your brother," his mom reminded him lovingly from behind as she turned the lights off. 

Dean leaned over and kissed Sam on his forehead. "Night, Sam."

"Good night, love," his mom said, lightly brushing Sam's brown hair back, and following Dean's suit and kissing him, too. Dean pushed back into her. He loved the way his mom smelled. Tangy like apples.

"Hey, Dean."

Dean turned to see his dad standing in the doorway, a light smile playing on his lips. Dean immediately rushed over and threw himself at him. "Daddy!"

His dad scooped Dean up. "Hey buddy!" Then he raised his hand, which Dean high-fived.

"So what do you think? You think Sammy's ready to toss around a football yet?"

Dean turned back to look and his little brother, then shook his head, laughing. "No, Daddy."

Dad laughed. "I don't think so, either."

Just then mom passed them both, ruffling his hair. "You got him?" She asked dad.

"I got him," dad winked at Dean, then looked over at Sammy. "Sweet dreams, Sam."

He's asleep soon. Then awake. Too suddenly.

His mom screamed.

"No! Mary!" His dad yelled "No!"

Dean jumped out of bed and ran towards the noise. His mom and dad sounded scared. It was too warm… hot.

There was a fire in Sam's room, Dad was there… no mom.

"Dean!" His dad called.

"Daddy!"

His dad was scared, sweating and hurt. In his hand was a little bundle. Sammy.

He thrust Sam into Dean's hands, his back to the blazing fire. Dean's eyes were burning. He couldn't see mom.

"Take your brother outside as fast as you can and don't look back! Now, Dean, go!"

Dad pushed him hard, towards the stairs. He held Sam tightly and made a run for it, till he was outside the door and into the lawn.

"It's okay, Sammy," he whispered. "I gotcha."

Then the window blasted and the whole house exploded in fire.

Dean sat up bolt in his bed, sweating, heart trying to beat out of his chest. He blinked his eyes not just to be rid of the moisture there but also to figure out where the hell he was. It took a couple of seconds, but then it all came to him. He was at a boys' home. Cas was snoring lightly above him. Gabriel not so lightly next to him.

The tiny digital clock on the rickety table read 00:17.

Dean tried to breathe normally, but gave up after a couple of minutes. He wasn't going to get any peace with the rate at which his heart was going, or how clammy he suddenly felt. The very dread he had been trying to run away from all evening, had finally caught up with him and how.

Denial was a crappy coping mechanism. He knew that, he had always known that. But what else did he have?

Getting up, he made his way to the bathrooms at the very end of the corridor, and splashed water on his face. Dean immediately felt a little better. The cold water seemed to help with frayed nerves. So, he splashed his face once more, running the water over his hands too. Not knowing what else to do, he strolled along the long passageway and came to rest in front of the staircase grill that locked everyone on to the floor. The light breeze coming in from the window opposite to the grill was calming. Dean slid down along the length of the grill to the floor, staring up at the dark sky, barely illuminated by the crescent shaped moon.

"Can't fall asleep?" The quiet voice made him jump out of his skin.

"What the fuck!" Dean swore, his barely in control heartbeat accelerating again, as he tried to look for the person in the dark.

"Sorry," the voice apologized sincerely. "I didn't mean to scare you or anything."

Dean squinted in the darkness, finally spotting the person. On the other side of the grill, on the opposite end from him was another shadow, mirroring his exact pose, huddled with his back against the grill.

"I can't sleep, either," the kid said, not deterred by Dean's lack of response. "Still, sorry for creeping up on you."

"That's okay," Dean said, not wanting to give away that he actually had been frightened.

"You new?"

Dean shrugged, then remembered it was actually too dark to see anything. "Yeah."

"It can be hard," the boy said. "Lot of new admits find it  tough to adjust."

Was the kid patronising him?

"Not much of a talker, I see," said the kid. "I'm gonna shut up now."

It made Dean smirk despite himself. "What're you doing up?"

The voice perked up at some response. "I got a math Olympiad, tomorrow. I suck at it."

"You're up because you're nervous about a silly test?"

It brought Dean up short. It shocked him that there were kids here with normal fears, like tests and exams. Not everyone was on a mission to find long lost brothers. How stupid of him to just overlook that? It made him feel out of place.

"Like you've never been worried about an exam before? And it’s not a  silly test, It could be my one way ticket into a University." He'd offended the kid. Must be what? Around 11 or 12 years of age. Couldn't be less than that since he bunked on the 4th floor.

"You're just like the other big guys," the kid muttered. 

"It's not like that," Dean said. "I'm just distracted." Why was he explaining this to the kid anyway?

"That's fine," came the reply, chirpy again, apparently satisfied with Dean's half-hearted explanation. "I know the sort of crap that goes on up on your floor."

"Know something about that, huh?"

"Everyone does."

Fair enough. "I'm not a favourite," Dean warned. "It'd be better for you to not be found chumming up with me."

"I don't care." The answer was firm. steely. "I hate bullies."

The word 'hate' somehow sounded harsh coming from a soft voice like that. Dean had to raise an eyebrow.

They sat in silence for a while. Dean let his mind wander through all that had happened today. Sam's smile kept invading his mind. His light eyes, his brown hair.

"Brown hair!" Dean yelped.

"What?" 

"Nothing," Dean said, more to himself than the kid. "He had brown hair." Like their dad's… lighter, but still definitely brown.

Dean couldn't give up now. Not when he was already in here. He couldn't stop looking for Sam. If he didn't give it his best shot, he'd regret it all his life. He would go through every damn file, tear the place apart if it means that he could find his brother again.

"Are you alright?" The voice on the other side sounded vaguely concerned, as if not anxious about Dean per se, but doubting his mental health.

Dean didn't care. At last, he could actually breathe. Freely.

"Hey, kid, thanks!"

"For what?" Perplexed.

"Nothing," Dean almost grinned. "Good luck with your test… uh Olympiad tomorrow," he said, getting up and dusting his clothes.

"Thanks, I guess?" The voice trailed behind him as Dean walked back to his room. He fell on the bed fully clothed.

Tomorrow would be a new day, and he would try again… and again and again till he succeeded.

******************************

A/N 2: I really really hope y’all like this story!! Please let me know what you think… the feedback is what keeps me going :)

If you wanna be tagged, please send me an ask

About a Boy taglist:

 @sdavid09​ @deanssweetheart23​ @blacktithe7​ @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​ @cosicas-cuquis​ @chalicia​  @anathewierdo​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @protectteamfreewill​ @firefly124-writing​ @spnbaby-67​ @hoboal87​ @rizlow1​ @donnaintx​ @starmission​ @gh0stgurl​ @tftumblin​ @emily-a-c11​ @ericaprice2008​ @jotink78​ @charliebradbury1104​ @ohgodwhybloggg​ @i-dont-get-cold​  @bobbie3939​

[candygirl101x]

Romance MD: Always on Call Munechika Takado Review (if you can really call it that)

Honestly I wasn’t expecting to write a review on this, because; 1. I wasn’t the slightest bit interested in the newest release. 2. And secondly…well I don’t write reviews.

But I haven’t seen that much noise about this title yet; whether that’s due to the lack of interest, the lengthy time it takes to read this whole story, the frustrating amount of hearts (A.K.A your hard earned dollar) you have to spend to achieve a SHE, or perhaps all of the above.

When I saw advertisements for Love 365’s latest release, I honestly didn’t give a damn. Oh joy, another Love Choice title (which by the way everyone asked for…not), the same old character types (I felt like Voltage should’ve changed their name to ‘Oresama’s R Us’) and I didn’t take a liking to any of the character’s physical looks either (except Kasumi, what a babe.)

So when Romance MD was finally released I wasn’t rushing to read it. Lately I’ve been more preoccupied reading another otome (Mr Love Queen’s Choice, if anyone is interested) rather than any releases on Love 365 as it just isn’t giving me that enticing story that I’d throw away life’s commitments in an instant to read. After reading Takado’s story, I only wish that I’d stop judging a book by it’s cover (although I know I definitely won’t).

I found myself reading through the story mostly because it was free (we already know the debate on that one, in the end I think I spent £14) and because I was bored. However, it wasn’t long before I found myself being sucked into the story and just thoroughly enjoying the interactions between the characters.

The MC

I could describe the MC as a breath of fresh air, I could describe her as a complete car crash but I feel as though a more accurate description is Marmite. For those of you who don’t know (probably anyone outside of the UK), Marmite is a food spread that people have on toast/sandwiches etc. The debate is that there are thousands of people who love Marmite more than their firstborn child but on the other hand there’s equally as many people who think Marmite is the work of Satan himself, and would find their dog’s faeces more appetising. So I can’t help but feel like you’ll love her for being new, exciting and different…or you’ll hate her because she’s extremely arrogant, a know-it-all and just plain annoying.

Reasons to love the MC:

She’s clever, like really clever. I have no idea what half those words mean that come out of her mouth but this girl knows her shit.                              

She’s determined and persistent. I mean, I guess all MC’s are when I think about it but it’s generally a good trait to have. The MC doesn’t let Takado out of her sight for a second, even using her skills of being on the track team in highschool to sprint after him when he tries to run away which is highly hilarious. Although can you imagine an MC who isn’t persistent? We’d have no story. Kind of funny thinking about that actually, an MC who just says “Right! I’ve had enough of you abusing me, I’m off home to eat ice cream and watch Netflix. You continue cutting people’s legs off willy nilly like they can grow back.”

She’s relatable. I can’t stress this one enough. Yeah maybe not the medical textbook mumbo jumbo but the social awkwardness and the constant daydreams of Sekai (her otome boyfriend) is something many of us can understand.

She’s not a sheep. This girl has a mind of her own. I take my hat off to her for going up against her superior’s when she thinks something is wrong, I don’t have that kind of backbone.

Reasons to hate the MC:

She can be plain rude. Like I can praise the girl for sticking up for herself but sometimes she’s a little too tart-tongued for my liking. I did cringe a bit, wishing she’d dial things back from time to time.

Missing some classic MC traits, comes across as arrogant. I mean, I guess this one is personal preference. I do like the more outgoing MC who isn’t afraid to speak her mind, but surely it’s natural to not be so arrogant in front of doctors who have years of experience on you? Like the MC is 26, I’m pretty sure all of the guys are 30+ (pretty sure Takado is 35) and have been doctors for a longer time than the MC has even been training to be a doctor. I did find myself missing the humble, kind hearted MC a bit. You really don’t have to be arrogant to be a strong willed woman, my favourite MC is the MC from Our Private Homeroom, I felt like she had a good mix of all the traits.

Can be annoying. Like there’s a time and place to be talking about the topic you’re currently spouting on about MC, and now definitely isn’t the correct time/place.

I was honestly saying the same thing to myself Tak

Takado

Takado himself is not necessarily anything we haven’t seen before. He’s not hiding anything you probably haven’t already guessed. Him and the MC have frequent domestics (which 9 times out of 10 end in her being hit over the head with a file) in places they should definitely not be having domestics, which in itself provides a series of highly entertaining scenes, for not only us but also the rest of the ICU doctors. He doesn’t baby the MC, he tells her when she’s done messed up but does also show signs of kindness behind his stoney façade, especially more towards the end of the story. I also appreciated that his backstory was more than meets the eye, there’s nothing I find more boring than a predictable plot line. Generally, I found him likeable. In fact, more often than not I felt sorry for him for having to put up with the absolute garbage that drops out of the MC’s mouth. I dunno how the hell he ended up falling in love with her too, I’d run a mile if that was me. But then again I did pay £14 for him, so if he didn’t I’d be god damn pissed.

He is equally (actually even more so) as intelligent as the MC, without bragging about how much he knows which was rather refreshing. I mean he does call the MC a thousand different variants of the word stupid, but every single time was justified in my eyes.

Although one thing I must say...

God damn son.

Stuff to Note

One thing I need to comment is holy smokes, how long is this story? When I saw the looming 30 chapters I figured that they were probably going to be over faster than my money leaves my account on payday, but boy how wrong I was. Now this almost certainly is a money grab in order to get you to spend more hearts to get the “good choices” but despite that, I was really impressed with just how long the story took me to read. Maybe I’m just getting old, but usually on any main story I can bash it out in under 2 hours. With this, I actually had to stop myself from reading and go the hell to sleep because it was 4 in the morning. When I checked the next day to what chapter I was on, I thought I was tripping when I realised I’d only just made it halfway through the story. Voltage kudos to you. The story was the perfect length to have good plot pacing, decent character development and satisfying romance at the end.

Now granted if you’re looking for a lovey-dovey romance throughout the whole story this isn’t the route for you. The romance doesn’t really kick start until at least 3/4 of the way through this route, and even then it’s nothing that exciting. The MC struggles to understand what love even is herself, having her only boyfriends being fictional otome men (the relatability is real), she finds herself unable to register what those feelings are. It’s not until a playful bullying from the other ICU doctors and a dictionary search that she realises she’s in love.

But in general, I found Takado’s route an enjoyable read with well placed comedic timing and good focus on the the more serious side of things when it was important. So if you find yourself bored like me, maybe just give it a read. Just don’t come at me with torches and pitchforks when you’re $15 poorer.

Moments I Particularly Enjoyed

The reminder that you are in fact reading the correct story

The scientific breakdown of kabedon

The obvious sarcastic remarks, that the socially inept MC doesn’t understand

The casual discussion of banging in the workplace

Pros and Cons

Pros

Character Development. I feel like both the MC and Takado showed character development. The MC when she finally figured out she has to stop being so damn arrogant and realise the consequences of when she opens her mouth. And Takado, that he can’t just tell people they’re having their leg cut off and just walk off.

Length. Need I say more.

Good pacing. Story progresses, MC progresses, Romance progresses. Good job guys.

Well written. Actually laughed out loud a fair few times whilst reading this story, which I definitely wasn’t expecting. Also whoever came up with the idea of the character sprites holding up a board for comic effect is a god damn genius.

Good group dynamics. I mean it’s not KBTBB, but I enjoyed reading the interactions between all the ICU doctors. Hopefully with more releases we’ll be able to see more of their relationship with each other.

Cons

Love Choice. I mean you can read this story completely free…just you won’t know any of the back story, you won’t get any of the romantic moments and you’ll get the shit ending. But if you’re happy spending $15 for a main story then this is a pro I suppose.

Lacking in romance. Now I’m not saying there isn’t any, I personally don’t have an issue with how things progressed (I much prefer the romance to come in following stories like epilogues and sequels) but I have a feeling if you’re after something with a lot of romance running throughout it, this story won’t be for you.

Too many legs were harmed in the making of this route. People be getting their legs cut off more times than I’ve had hot dinners. Everyone thinks Takado goes around cutting people’s legs off for fun…and honestly you can’t blame them for thinking that.

Not many CGs. Remember the days when we had 6 CGs for a main story? I know I’m being picky but having 1 CG in episode 1 and the last CG in the SHE, that only leaves 2 other CGs for 28 episodes. If you’re gonna have a main story that long, surely you can spare another CG or two Voltage?

I’ve put the character sprites and the CGs below a read more button so people can avoid spoilers. So if you’re interested in what I’ve officially renamed the characters keep reading :) VVVVVVVV

Starring

Dr.Amputation (I’m telling you now, you wouldn’t want this one for your general health checkup) (Takado)

Angry Coach (Takao)

Angry Coach’s Wife (Who I’ve actually forgotten the name of)

Darling Boy (Haruto)

Darling Boy’s mother (Yoko)

Flirty McGee (Hosho)

Kasumi’s Die-hard Fan (but can you blame him?) (Kyogoku)

Dean the Absolute Meme (Matsunaga)

Ghost Hospital Director (Seriously, I think we see him like once in the whole route(why is he even on this list? Because I already had a screenshot and I’d figured I might as well use it) (Usagida)

ICU’s On-Call Doctor Dealer (Ekuni)

Total Babe (Kasumi) (Just you wait till your ass is out bitch)

Also can you blame me?

Ultimate Waifu (Missy)

Partner in Otaku Crime (Asuka)

Cute Penguin (Watch out Sydney, she’s coming for your top spot on the favourite Voltage mascot list and probably your large swimming pool) (Kalmia)

A reformed KBTBB Villain (Mario)

The Main Character (Sekai)

The Actual Main Character (Why we see her sprite for one split second I’m not overly sure, but yeah hard pass Voltage)

CGs

Episode 1

Episode 18

Episode 27

SHE

Now if I were you, I’d go and actually find a good review to read. Like @aqvarius

[sunnyborabora]

Back to you (Jaehyun x Reader)

You were once best friend but he left. Now that you are slowly but surely putting your life back together he is coming back, changed but still the same. As you are slowly falling back into his arm you can't imagine that he is drawing you into a world where rules are different and where mistakes are fatal.

Warning: Angst, Violence, mention of blood, mention of guns, kinda unhealthy relation ship?, smut (yassss) and fluff

It’s finally here! It took me a while and I am sorry but school is taking all my time and I was (still am) sick so I am slow. But I loved writting this! Jeahyun bias wrecked me hard djzvavdhdv I am low key in love with him now lol. It was supposed to be a bad boy Au... I tried my best but it kinda become a Mafia Au... Hope you’ll enjoy it ! Thank you for requesting! 

-------

The first time you met Jaehyun you just entered 1rst grade. It was a beautiful day and you were playing during the break with other kids in the little spot where there was sand in the play yard. You were slowly but surely building your sand castle very proud of yourself. As you were finally finished and proud you turned around to show it to your friend next to you but the moment you turned back your sand castle wasn't there anymore. It was just a weird wet heap of sand. You looked at your ruin of a castle, not understanding what just happened. You understood pretty soon, when a spurt of water hit your face. There was a boy, smirking at you, his water gun targeting your face. Did children were even allowed to have such toys ? You didn't know but you were ready to cry from frustration. You spent so much time building this, why could not he destroyed someone else sand castle ! Why was he so mean ? You were ready to leave when another boy came out. You were pretty sure that you fell in love at this very moment. Your prince in shining armor coming to your rescue. You didn't quite hear what he said to the other boy who just shrugged and ran off, probably ready to harass someone else with his water gun. He turned around to face you, smiling sweetly, giving you a hand to help you stand up. Jaehyun had always been the sweetest to you. He had always put upon himself to protect you, even after your first meeting. In middle school, you had become inseparable, spending your days together at school. He had become even sweeter and beautiful, and you were just falling deeper for him. You could not really imagine your life without him. Until high school. It has for sure been a complicated period for you as Jaehyun stopped talking to you. Not that you had an argument and that you were angry at each other. You just didn't have the same priorities. Jaehyun had changed, you of course changed too, and you both soon had nothing to do with each other. You had made other friends with who you spent a lot of time, you even had your first boyfriend, a sweet boy named Jooheon. But you couldn't help yourself thinking about Jaehyun. He was always in the back of your head, and when you happened to see him in high school, you were avoiding his look, and you were just running away. He for sure had changed a lot. Changing his flower boy look, to the total opposite. His jean jacket, the holes inside his jeans, his undercut, everything had changed. It's not like he had replaced you or anything, in fact except from a few friends and a bunch of girls running after him as soon as he was here, he was pretty much alone all the time. But it wasn't your business anymore. Or maybe it was and as a friend you should have asked what was happening ? Have you done something wrong ? But you stopped yourself every time you had those thought. It wasn't your fault, it was nobody's fault. It was just life. You make friends and sometimes you lost them. You indeed lost every contact with Jaehyun until your second year of college. You had successfully graduated from high school and you were ready to take over the adult world. College was way more full filing than high school for you as you were following design studies and you were really happy with them. You had almost forgotten about Jaehyun, living your own life on your own, until one day. You had been invited to a party and as you arrived with your friends you saw him. You recognized him right away even if he had nothing to do with the Jaehyun from high school. You could only see his side profile but you could tell he was one of the most handsome person you've ever seen. But you had to leave right now, you really didn't want to stay here and take the risk of him recognizing you, or worst, him not remembering you at all. But you were doomed and suddenly, the person he was talking with, Johnny a good friend of yours, saw you as you were already putting your coat back on, calling your name. And Jaehyun was looking at you, smiling sweetly, and you had the impression that you were in front of the sweet boy, back in first grade, who protected you from the monster with the water gun. You didn't watch him for long, concentrating all your attention on Johnny. « Hey Y/n baby what's up ? » You shrugged nodding your head as no sounds were coming out of your mouth. Yeah that was awkward. « Y/n this is Jaehyun, Jaehyun- -We know each other » Jaehyun had talk. When you raised your head to see him, he was looking into your eyes, his smile showing his dimple. He was breathtaking. His black hair parted in the middle as some strands were falling on his forehead was highlighting his beautiful eyes. « Me and Y/n, we know each other, right ? -Y-yeah we do » Johnny seemed surprised. « Really, since when ? -Since elementary school actually ! » Johnny looked at you, a puzzled expression on his face. « You've never told me you knew Jaehyun ? -Well I didn't know you knew him either and it's not like we are still in contact or whatever... » Johnny laughed but not Jaehyun. You finally succeded in leaving Johnny's side to go outside. You needed some air. Far away from Jeahyun and all the confused feelings that were harassing you at the moment. The goal of those parties were to have fun, get yourself drunk and hooking out with a good-looking human being. Definitely not being confused, low key happy, about your ex best friend arrival. Sadly it wasn't going to happen. « Y/n ! Wait ! » You were starting to feel overwhelmed and it wasn't a good thing. You were not an anxious person, or maybe you were but you always did everything to put away any stressful situation. This, all this was going hard on your feelings. « What do you want ? » Okay maybe that was a bit harsh but you didn't know how to act or what to say. « I just wanted to talk to you. Like what is my childhood friend doing ? Are you happy ? » You were expecting everything except this. « I am doing great thank you. And yes I am happy » You could do better than that. You just didn't want to. « What are you studying ? -Hum, I am a design student. -Do you like it ? » You nodded slowly, suddenly acknowledging something weird. « And you what are you studying ? » He seemed surprised about your question, as he was not expecting for you to start a conversation which was pretty much understandable if you thought about how you had replied to him before. « Hum, I am not a student. In fact, I am working » That was what you thought as you looked as the Rolex on his wrist that could probably pay your tuition and the very elegant and high quality fabric of his outfit. No student could afford that. « Oh, and what are you working in ? » He shrugged, as if he was used to peopling asking this. « You know, some business for a private company ». Used to answer and used to not tell the truth. You didn't say anything else tho. It wasn't your business and you didn't want to know more about Jaehyun or anything he was involved in. « So, why did you come to this party ? » He seemed taken aback by the fact that you were now willing to keep the conversation going. You may not want to know more about Jaehyun but the reason of his presence here was quite intriguing. « Johnny asked me to come for a bit. And then, ha no let it go.... -What ? What were you going to say ? -Don't take me for a creep please... -Too late. » He laughed, his laugh so clear and familiar, but also so far away in your memories. « I wanted to see you. What you had become you know. I was curious. We were best friend before. -Indeed we were. » There was more venom in that answer that you had wish for. Your pretty speech about being detached from the situation was far away. You sounded horribly salty. « I know... I wish I could tell you why... But I can't. -Tell me what ? You don't own me anything. » As you said this, you knew you were lying to yourself. Deep down you wanted him to explain why he had left you alone all those years ago. And why he was popping back in your life now... « I feel like I do. I left you alone. But I swear if I could explain to you why I had to stop seing you I would tell you everything. -I told you it wasn't important. -It is for me. But you know now. I am back in town and everything... » You raised your brow. Back in town ? « What do you mean ? -We could catch up ? Like I want to learn to know you again, the person you've become. » You were expecting this. But at the same time it didn't help loosening the shock a bit. « Why ? -Y/n, after all those years, I still have the same feeling as when we were kids. I like you, and I want to protect you. If I could scare of a bully that destroyed your sand castle I would do that again. » You laughed. « It was hard for me you know. I had to stop thinking about you at some point because it was to painful. In high school, when you were ignoring me, I felt like shit. Like suddenly I wasn't worth being your friend anymore. You made me feel so bad about myself. » He didn't say anything. You could see in his expression that he was shaken and sad. Shit, you just started your own pity party. « Don't say anything. High school is pretty shitty anyway. Now I feel good. And I feel good because I finally got over you. So you coming back, to « catch up » is the worst thing you could do to me » His mouth was gaping stupidly. This is when you decided that it was your time to leave. Fuck the party and the make out session, you were going to crawl on your couch to watch « The bride of the water god » for the thousand time. « No wait, please. Y/n, fuck... -What do you want again... -Please at least let me apologize. I didn't know it has been this hard -Of course, how would you know. We weren't talking to each other anymore. -I still was making sure you were okay. I mean, at school and everything, you thought I wasn't paying attention to you but it's not true... -Well you did a shitty job then » Here you were being petty again. « I would have preferred anything really. You should have told me that I wasn't interesting anymore, that you wanted new friends, that time was just making his work. You make me think that you were caring about me this all time is cruel. -But it's the truth. Sometimes I had wish I could have forgotten you. But it never happened. But now it's different. I am different. I am not in the trouble I was before. Now I am stable. My life is stable. -We were in high school ! What could have make your life so unstable that you had to leave me behind ? » This is the moment he shut down on you. You knew he wasn't going to say anything to you about this anymore. « You know what, forget it. We all have our secret. » He didn't answer this either. « I am leaving, Jeahyun. It was cool to see you again, really. I hope that you are happy too. » And you left. You didn't hear of Jaehyun until one week later, when he came into the coffee shop you were working in. He didn't seem surprised to see you, which was definitely your case. You really naively thought you were never going to see him again. H walked in your direction a smile splattered on his face. « Hello, what can I do for you ? » you asked with the most neutral voice you could. « I don't know... What would you advise me to take ? » He was doing this on purpose... With his dumb smile, you wanted to slap him with the baguette you were about to cut when he entered. « The pastry are excellent. I would advise you the cinnamon roll, they are freshly baked. To drink, the best-seller is the caramel macchiato with whipped cream. » He seemed to think for a second before nodding. « I am going to take this, thank you. -Is it a take away ? -No, I am going to sit here. » Okay, how were you supposed to work when he was here ? « Very well I am going to bring everything to you. You can sit down. » You were almost done with his order when you heard, his phone ring. You turned around but stopped almost immediately. When you were talking about duality, it's not exactly what you had in mind. The fact that he could look like the sweetheart he was when he entered the shop and now look so severe and hard now. You could not hear what was happening on the phone, you were too busy watching Jaehyun. « Okay, I'll be there in a few. Yeah. » You didn't say anything. You took the macchiato and put it in a take away cup, and wrapped the cinnamon roll. When he stood up you just give him his order. He seemed suddenly very tired. But he simply smiled. He took his order, his fingers lightly touching yours. « Thank you Y/n. It was good seing you again. » He put his hand in his vest pocket and took a little piece of paper out of it. « This is my phone number. If you are not to busy one day, you can call me, and we can hang out or something. Don't feel forced to call me or anything. If you don't I'll understand ». And he left. You were left alone, that stupid card in your hands, not really knowing what to do. It was another week later that you had decided to text Jaehyun. Not call. Text were safer. So you simply told him it was your number, and asked him what he was doing. He didn't answer until an hour later. He was apparently busy with work, whatsoever he was doing. He said he was surprised but happy that you had text him. You stopped here. You honestly didn't know what to do. Were you supposed to initiate something ? Or just let the situation die. You were confused, a hint of disappointment in yourself for texting him, but the feeling of joy that it bring you made it almost insignificant. Were you happy to meet Jaehyun ? Yes. Were you happy about him showing interest in you again ? Yes. Were you confused about the situation ? Definitely. But in the end you were feeling weird. You know it is one of your biggest flaw was definitely to intellectualize too much. Never letting yourself be happy, because what if it'll go wrong ? But damn it, it's been a while since you've been that excited about something. Are you free tomorrow ? I want to take you somewhere. You accepted. And it has been awesome. Jaehyun was the sweetest person you've met. It didn't take long until you were again inseparable. It took time for you to accept what had happened and what was actually happening, but you were happy. So definitely happy and in love with Jaehyun. The day he asked you to be his girlfriend was definitely a great day for you. You had play it off, just answering « Aren't we dating already haha » but you were ecstatic inside. After three months of dating you had finally had enough of hiding your feelings. Your desire for this man was too strong. He had always been a perfect gentleman, never making any physical contact that you had not given your consent before. But one day has nothing had happened yet you initiated the contact. You were expecting a bit more than a kiss. Jeahyun was ready to give you everything you wanted anyway. « Can I kiss every inch of your body? » He nipped at your thigh. You were feeling his hot breath against your skin so close from where you wanted him. « Can I be the reason you moan ? » You whimpered and nodded. Jaehyun smiled against your skin, nose trailed along your skin as he inhaled deeply « Can I » And he was so close from your clit, you could feel his deep exhale and it felt so good. You whined, struggling to breath and fighting to stay standing. You were praying that he 'll have some mercy and let you lay down because if he decided to eat you out right there in his kitchen you might pass out. « Yes, please » He mumbled something you can't understand before he buried his face between your thighs his hands palming your ass to get you closer. He took another deep breath and your legs began to shake badly when he exhaled. « Jaehyun » you repeated . He looks at you through his eyes half hidden over his long lashes : « Yes Love. » He held your gaze and slowly licked his lips. The sight of him on his knees, his white shirt open on his chest letting you his tattoos was something you wanted to engrave in your mind forever. « I can't stand... », was barely audible. « Okay, » Jaehyun’s dimples appeared when he smiled. He stood up taking you in his arms. « But baby, in the meantime, do you want to know what I want more than anything? » You weren’t sure how much more of this you could take. All the way to the bed, Jaehyun kissed you, tasting his lips, his hands grabbing your butt with his strong hands. « Jaehyun... » and it was a whimper at best. « Yes Y/n. » Nothing came out of your mouth as he smirked.

« I was saying » He grabbed your legs lifting you in his arms. « I need to hear you beg Y/n. I need to feel you cum on my dick. I need you to be mine. » You were in his arms pressed against his body. Everything was so intense. That was it, you were jelly in his arms, your legs trembling around his waist. He lowered you onto his bed as his eyes never leave yours. Your skirt is all the way up to your hips letting him free from seing everything. He bent down licking his lips biting at the skin of your thighs. « What are you doing Jaehyun? » Your words sounded more like a plea than a question. « I am claiming you as mine. » He said it like you weren’t already completely his. « If you’ll have me, of course. » He kept sucking at you skin, and you feel yourself drift off more and more. You whispered his name again and again your eyes screwed shut as you struggled to breathe. « What do you want princess, use you word » « Don't stop » you whined, clawing at the sheets beneath you. He smiles kissing the mark he just gave you. « I have no intention to stop » He caressed your thighs, appreciating the feeling of your skin. « I need to hear you. Tell me Y/n what do you want me to do? » « You! » you said before his teeth could latch on to your skin. « Me?» He grinned against your skin. « I want you to fuck me. » His deep chuckle forced a burst of hot air over your glistening folds. And fuck it felt good. You almost came like this, just Jaehyun looking at you sending you over the edge. « That's not what I was asking baby. I mean, obviously, I’m going to fuck you. Fuck I've been waiting for this moment since forever. But before that. Before I bury myself deep into your needy little cunt. What should I do? » « I-I don't know » « Give me a number, » Jaehyun said softly. « Why ? » you whispered to yourself. « Okay, hum, five ? ». « Five ? » he said a wolf like grin forming on his lips. « You are so greedy princess, fuck. » He bent over, his mouth joining your labia and you began to writhe beneath his touches. « What are you talking about ? » He laughed and shook his head, smiling that dumb smile of his that was giving you the want to slap him. « That’s how many times you are going to cum baby » He grabbed your ankles, dragging you until you are at the edge of the bed, your ass almost hanging out. « I can't do this Jae, please I can't » you mewled. He was already driving you crazy and you haven't come once, what was going to happen after five. « You are going to Y/n, you are going to take it very well, I know you can do that » He spoke between peppered kisses. His flattened tongue parted your lips, and he groaned at the taste of you. A few laden licks later and you were already coming. It didn’t take long before you were greeted by your second orgasm, which came fast, leaving you breathless and dizzy and overly sensitive. Jaehyun lapped orgasm four from your trembling body. You were losing your mind. « You’re such a good girl, aren’t you princess » You could not answer. Your brain had transformed into putty. « You are baby, so good » He praised you over your moans, « You’re my good girl. I think I should reward you. Because I've been thinking about you all the time and now that you are here I want to please right » « Yes. Please. » You said breathless. A mischievous glint cloaked his eyes. « Edging, baby do you like this ? ». You groaned, slamming your head onto the mattress. No you hated it. You wanted him right now but you felt as if you were saying this he would just take even more time. You felt something other than his tongue at your entrance. He trusted his index finger into you. Your back lifted from the bed as you cried out, your palms landed on his tattooed forearms. « You’re soaked, » He added his middle finger. You felt the pressure of your orgasm building low in your core. « What do you feel baby ? -I’m going to cum. -No you’re not » Jaehyun's voice was stern. He pulled his fingers from you and licked them. « You taste so good » You whined, being in this state was even worse than over stimulation. At least before he was giving you what you wanted. His lips brushed the skin above your knee with each word and his digit took back their previous rhythm. You were feeling it again, the knot forming inside your belly, ready to snap at any moment. His tongue was taking you to the edge only to let you down again. « I want to take you out again Y/n » He smirked, proudly « After I watch you cum again and again. I’ll take you out again.” You were so close. He just needed to push you slightly more and you were going to fall into the most intense orgasm you've ever had. But he stopped again. You almost scream in frustration. « Why are you do this? » Your words were rushed and slithly hurt. « Doing what ? I thought you liked it » You closed your eyes tightly, tears of frustration threatened to spill all over you cheeks. You shook your head. « Look at me baby. Y/n look at me », his voice hovered above you, his lips brushing your closed lids. « Look at me » he demanded. You opened your eyes, allowing the tears to escape. Jaehyun frowned. « Why are you crying? -Why won’t you let me cum? » Jaehyun, caress your cheek, whipping away your tears. « All you had to do was ask, baby » He kissed you, his toungue caressing yours. Your legs parted wider, allowing him to rest between them, and you gripped his black hair firmly. He yanked his white shirt away from his body, unbuckling his belt, finally getting naked with you as you had thrown away your skirt and shirt a long time ago now. Jaehyun, in all his glory. Something you'll never forget. You traced the ink of his tattoos with your fingers, fascinate by the ink you were finally able to see clearly. His rigid dick jutted between your bodies, leaking precum on your stomach. Pulling his hair, you forced him to release your lips with a low groan. You wanted to touch him too , make him feel good too. You eased your hand between the two of you, finding his veined cock, you are letting your fingers toy with his sensitive tip. Your mouth traced up his neck, along his strong jawline and back to his lips. And you nibble his bottom lip between each one of your pecks. You collected the wetness from his dick and you used it to move along his shaft. A sweat moan come out of his mouth, the way his slightly longer canine were biting at his lips. « Jaehyun » You whispered against his lips, and he responded with a pained moan. « I need you, Y/n now » Jaehyun answered, his fist gripped the sheets on either side of your head. « Yes, please Jaehyun » You moved your hips and angled his dick to your entrance. You murmured into his tensed jaw how much you needed him, I much you loved him. His eyes snapped opened. « Jaehyun, fuck, I love y- » He swallowed your ‘you’ with a crashing kiss. He entwined your fingers with his and held your left arm above your head. And you saw it, there in his beautiful eyes. This was more than lust. This was everything you’ve ever shared together. During your childhood, now that he was back. This was everything that you mean to him. This was veneration and love. This is when you realized that you'll never be able to come back to normal after that. Jaehyun didn't seem to care anyway. With a guttural groan, he entered you slowly, your breath hitching at the sensation. Sinking down inch by inch, his dark eyes carefully watched yours until he was fully seated. « Baby, you feel incredible » Lifting your thigh higher, he began to move slowly, deliberate strokes, in and out. With each new thrust, he powered his hips deeper, harder. A melody of smacking skin, ragged breaths and sweet moans echoed in the room. Your legs wrapped around his waist and your hips met his movements. His hips began to piston erratically while his stiff cock repeatedly dragged across your g-spot. You closed your eyes as your vision started to blur. « Look at me Y/n. Fuck, baby look at me » « Jaehyun, I can't, it's so good. Oh my god. -I want to see you, baby. » You moaned loudly, screaming Jaehyun name. « Yeah I am right here baby. Let it go. » Jaehyun knew you were close, he could feel your pussy tightening around him. You were a vision writhing beneath him, something he never wanted to forget, soft whimpers and incoherent sentences, everything was making you pure perfection. « You are beautiful. Oh my god, I'll never get enough of you » You closed your eyes feeling it coming. « Show me that you are mine Y/n. I want to see you » « I-I am yours. -Yes you are baby. Say it again. -I’m yours. -Again. « I love you so much, I am yours only yours » Now it was his turn to plummet into ecstasy. He moaned your name, before he came. His pace slowed and he lowered your leg. His breaths washed over you as he studied you. « Baby, I hope you know we're in deep » Since this day, you and Jaehyun were together. It has been almost two years since you've met again at this party and your relationship had taken another turn. You were leaving together now, in a cute and cozy apartment in a great area of the city near your university as you were in your last year just before graduation. You were living your best life, finishing your studies in the best conditions, and living with the man you love. The thing was that there was something wrong about this man. At the beginning it had not disturbed you that much, all the secret and the sudden departure because « work » was calling him. You knew since the beginning that something was wrong but, you really didn't care. Now you cared a lot. You knew that there was something wrong. Jaehyun was good at playing it off, and you were usually doing the same laughing when he came back with bruises, or when he was leaving you for weeks. But you were scared now. And you had all the reason to be. If Jaehyun was doing something wrong, illegal, you needed to leave. One day you really prepared your bag ready to leave, ready return to your parents home, far away from him. The thing is that the moment you were going to leave, you just didn't. You didn't want to. You wanted to stay with him forever if it was possible. And you were not really scared for yourself. You were scared for him. You know he was not stupid, he knew you would see them. The bruises that were appearing every week. The scars from his past, some looking strangely like bullet scars. His new tattoos. Everything was a ringing the bells in your brain. You didn't think about Mafia first. Maybe he had troubles with some of his coworker or something. But soon it was too obvious. He wasn't hiding anymore, at least he was just hiding enough for you not to understand the entire situation. Until one day someone came to see you. You were getting out of one of your classes, walking toward your car to go home, when a man stopped you. You were ready to kick him in the face if you had not seen him before. It happened once, you had finished your job sooner and when you entered the apartment men were here. Jaehyun was standing in the middle of them talking about something you didn't catch. He stopped as soon as he heard you. He walked toward you smiling sweetly, and just asked you to go see one of your friend the time he finished with his colleagues. You did as he told you, not wanting to be in the middle of unknown people anyway. But the man who had stopped you near your car that day was one of the men you saw in your apartment that day. If he had been with Jaehyun, he could not be that bad. But you know it wasn't true. Jaehyun was surrounded with bad people. Dangerous people. Because he had been with Jaehyun that day, you should be careful. « Are you Jaehyun'wife ? » You were pretty sure you weren't married yet but you simply nod not wanting to about this right now. « I just want to give him a message. He won't answer me, and you understand it's a bit annoying for work. Could you just- -I know nothing about Jaehyun work, if he decided not to answer you I guess he as his reason. But it's none of my business. I am sure you can find someone else. » He didn't say anything but you could see his body tensing. Where you really going to have to use your self defense technics. You weren't feeling that confident about them right now. « Yeah, I understand. You are Y/n right ? You are gorgeous, I understand why Jaehyun is trying to leave for you. Just tell him it is not as easy as he thinks ». And he left. That day you had been scared to the bones. You waited a bit sitting inside your car the time to calm your nerves. You finally drived back home. When you entered your apartment Jaehyun was here. « What happened ? I was worried as hell, why aren't you answering your phone ? » He saw in what state you were, and he understood almost right away. He took you in his arms, his grip on you so strong that you had the feeling he was never letting you go. You really hope he wasn't. « Tell me who it was, what he was looking like, what he told you. » You didn't say anything. You simply stayed in his arm as long as you could. He finally understood that you were not going to say anything. « Let's go to bed okay princess ? » After this day nothing ever happened to you. You could come back at any hour of the day, there was never another person here, just Jaehyun. Until everything went really wrong. You hated it. When he wasn't answering his phone. He had left for a week now. Those time were already difficult for you when he was answering to the phone but now that he wasn't answering. You were worried sick and you were right. In the middle of the night, you had passed out on the couch and you heard a violent knock on your door. You really weren't going to answer until you heard someone telling your name. You ran toward the door, opening it violently. It was happening, right ? Were you going to lose everything tonight ? « Jaehyun... -Y/n we need to get him inside. » You had no idea how this man knew your name but you let him enter. Him and the other guy holding Jaehyun, almost ran into the bedroom. You followed them as fast as your panicked state was allowing you. You didn't start crying right away, but when one of the man snatched open Jaehyun shirt open and you saw, all the blood you started sobbing. « Jaemin, get her out » you heard Jaehyun said with a weak voice, almost to quite to be heard from you. The man who as talked to you before turned around and open the door for you to leave. But you were not sure you could walk. What happened next was a big mess. You were staying in the corridor just behind the door of your room. The other man, who you still ignored the name, had come out once to take a big bag that he had left in the living room earlier. He gently smiled at you but you were unable to do anything but trying not to break down in tears. It only took an hour for them to do whatever they were doing, it had seemed an eternity to you. The man who took you out before, Jaemin ?, returned and gave you a hand to help you stand up from your spot. There was less blood than before. Jaehyun was looking like a mommy laying here with all bandage around his torso and left arm. He was sleeping peacefully. Tears started streaming down your face. « He is going to be fine now. He had broken ribs and a bullet in the biceps but it's fine now. Y/n he is safe. » You looked at the man, the one you still didn't know the name. « Thank you. » He smiled softly. « Jaehyun is our brother. We are never going to let him go. I am Ten by the way ». You smiled at Ten. He seemed like a nice person. You could tell the difference between him and the other guy you saw before. Him and Jaemin seemed to really care about Jaehyun. « Thank you for helping him really. I can't lost him. » He nodded softly. He put his hand behind your back, trying to make you leave the room. « He is not going anywhere. You are as exhausted as us, let's drink some coffee. » You walked with Ten toward the kitchen where Jaemin was already making coffee. « It's not the first you come here right ? » you asked to the men. Jaemin smile awkwardly. « It's okay, it's not bothering me. » The three of you sat down in silence. The sun was already rising in the sky, everything was slowly becoming that pretty orange color. « I understand why Jeahyun wants to leave. » You turned around Ten. « It is so peaceful. That type of life. I understand why he wants that. -I want that too. A lot of us want that », Jaemin answered. You watched both of them carefully. « We are going to stay here just the time he is able to stand up. And then Y/n, it's better if you leave the both of you. -What happened ? Last night ? » They looked at each other, looking unsure. « He bought our ticket for freedom » Jaehyun had decided to leave the organization he was working for. Apparently he wasn't the only one who wanted to leave. But it wasn't that easy. Once you entered the family it was almost impossible to quite. But Jaehyun wanted nothing but to live with you, give you the life you deserved. And it meant quitting the organization. « He did it for himself, but for me and Jaemin too. If we leave soon, if we disappear, they are going to leave us alone ». You left the boys alone and came back to your room. You sat down in the mattress next to Jaehyun, trying not to wake him up. « Why didn't you tell me everything ? I would not have left you... » You closed your eyes for a moment, exhaustion taking control of your body. « I love you Y/n ». His voice had startled you. « You are an idiot really. Coming back after a week to bloodied all my carpet. What is wrong with you ? » He tried to laugh but his body jerked in a painful movement. « Sorry, sorry, don't move. Do you want me to call Ten ? -No it's fine, just stay here okay -I am not going anywhere ». You leaned and kissed him on the forehead. « I was scared. » He looked in your eyes. « I know. I am sorry. I-I wish it could have been different ». You didn't say anything, you just laid down next to him, exhausted the only thing you wanted was to sleep next to him. Exactly three days later, you decided that Jaehyun was feeling better, enough to leave the city at least. You, Ten and Jaemin had packed most of your belongings and had put them into a van you didn't know about. You had arranged something with one of your professor for your remained classes. In theory everything was going to be fine. Ten was in the driver seat, Jeamin next to him. You looked into Jaehyun eyes as he was carefully sitting in the seat next to you. You buckled his seat belt, making sure he was secure. « I love you Y/n ». You smiled at him, taking his hand in yours. « I love you too ». Yeah everything was going to be okay.

[lezliefaithwade]

David & Goliath

My grandfather, on my Mother's side, immigrated to Canada from Italy in the 1950's. For years I thought I was Italian until one day my Mother explained that her real father (who was Danish) had died when she was seven and that Ralph was actually my grandmother's “companion”. At seven I had no idea what a "companion" was, nor did I care. All that mattered was whether I would inherit his talent for cooking and gardening.  As a child, Italy seemed like a mythical land filled with beautiful palaces and amazing desserts.

When I finally had the opportunity to visit the land of my grandfather's birth, I made it a point to seek out all the places I'd heard about as a child. So, it was, that while I was in Florence, standing in front of the statue of David I was suddenly reminded of an episode in grade 9 when for three solid weeks I was bullied by a fellow student three times my size who I believed would destroy me.

In the Old Testament, the story goes that David, who is just a boy, takes down the 6'9" Goliath with nothing but a sling shot after King Saul, supposedly over 6' himself, is too afraid to challenge the giant on his own.

As I stood there examining the statue, I couldn't help wondering why Michelangelo had sculpted the boy to be so huge when Goliath was the giant?  At 17 feet, David stands three times larger than an average man. Is his size a metaphor for his bravery?

Growing up, I never considered whether I was brave or not until the summer before my thirteenth birthday when my parent's separation marked me (at least in my mind) as an oddity. I was the first one I knew of to come from a broken home, and to me, this was a truly embarrassing fact. I was ashamed of what I perceived to be a major failure on the part of my parents, and worried that everyone would think less of me because of it.  I wanted my family to be idyllic and though they were far from that, at least while we were all under the same roof, I could pretend. To save myself the embarrassment and shame of having to explain to kids I knew why I was no longer living at my old house on Belmont, and instead in an ugly apartment building across town, I opted to attend an all girl’s Catholic high school where no one knew me. For almost three months, I lied about where I lived. I pretended the apartment building I walked to every evening after school was where I babysat someone's kid. I never let on that my parents weren't together or that I was struggling with the reality that they were headed for divorce.

Catholic girl's schools, I soon discovered, harboured two types of young women. Those who longed for small classroom education among a female community of likeminded individuals, and those whose parents were forcing them to attend a school they hoped would reform them. Possibly attending Catholic school was a last resort ordered by the court. In any case, I was soon the target of gang terrorism brought about by answering questions in class – namely in English where I seemed to excel in understanding Shakespeare. Somewhere between The Merchant of Venice and Romeo and Juliet I became the object of abuse. Short and obnoxious, I was an easy target for a small but imposing group of girls who were significantly bigger and louder. The leader of this particular gang of delinquents was an overbearing, unusually tall girl named Susan Podansky. Susan had thick brown curly hair and a large set of yellow teeth that filled her face when she smiled. Not that her smiles were warm and generous. When Susan smiled, there was foreboding in the air.  She reminded me of the witch in Hansel and Gretel licking her chops as she prepared to eat everything in her wake. Her neck was thick, her hands were large and her voice was low. “Guess who’s going to die tonight?” she’d whisper in my ear as I scurried from Math class to Science. The whole time I was dissecting my frog I imagined my innards splayed across the grass beyond the school.

It occurs to me now, many years later and infinitely wiser, that there was nowhere for Susan and her gang to actually pommel me. The school was small and well supervised and the yard was too. Unless their aim was to be caught, there was no way they could beat me up and get away with it. At the time, this logic escaped me. Instead I cowered in classrooms, stayed late for extra help in things I was already excelling at, and volunteered for everything from library duty to bible study. If something needed to be scrubbed, painted, sorted or filed, I signed myself up.

There were rumours going around about Susan and her gang. They set fire to garbage cans. They stole from variety stores. One of them had a friend who’d been decapitated on the roller coaster at Crystal Beach. Each story was more shocking than the one before. What started out as careful avoidance, turned into full blown terror.

Ironically, I’d known Susan in grades 3 and 4 when I had attended Holy Family elementary. I was not Catholic, but the school was close to our house and my mother deemed it more convenient than the public school that was a good deal further away. My parents were never concerned about what rubbed off on us. During the day I learned about the Virgin Mary and the Holy Ghost and after school my mother played Rock and Roll albums and allowed me to read, Mad Magazine, and Creepy comics. Susan had been in my class back then. She was already bigger than the rest of us, but harmless. Once she even invited me to her house. I remember her mother was pleasant enough as she cooked something in the kitchen that smelled foreign and delicious.  Most of the kids at Holy Family were Irish or Italian, but Susan was Polish. To me that made her exotic. But then again, I was the daughter of Wasps attending a Catholic school. Everything was exotic to me. In the two years we shared a classroom at elementary school, we’d never clashed. In fact, in a childish act of solidarity, we both called Mrs. Flint, a substitute teacher, Mrs. Flintstone and were called to the office. We were equally contrite and that was the end of that. What prompted this new vitriol, aside from a seemingly innocent love for Shakespeare, I’ll never know. Whatever it was, her threatening demeanour was scary and all consuming.

At home, my mother couldn’t help but notice that I was at school later than usual. I’d enter the hallway out of breath, eat dinner, then retreat to bed. After a week of this she coaxed the truth out of me with cupcakes and before I knew what I’d said, she was on the warpath. This was exactly what I didn’t want. I’d been warned by Susan that if I snitched on her, she’d make my life even more miserable. I begged my mother to leave it alone, but she was determined. My mother had lived with an abusive step-father for a time before Ralph, and bullying wasn’t something she tolerated.

The next day I was called down to Sister Rita Mary’s office where two seats were arranged in front of her desk. I could see from half a mile away that large head of messy hair belonging to Susan. I timidly entered and sat down next to her. Sister Rita Mary smiled, “It’s come to my attention that there has been some nuisance between the two of you.”

Nuisance? Between the two of us? I could see where this was heading.

“It’s my belief that you just don’t know each other well enough, so my solution to this misunderstanding is to arrange for you to sit next to each other in all of your classes from now on.” Then, with a smile on her face she dismissed us from her office and closed the door.

Susan grinned, “This oughta be fun,” she announced. “Guess who’s gonna have a funeral?” And then she galumphed off to class.

Sitting beside Susan was excruciating. In math she broke my pencils. In English she poured ink on my assignment. But it was art class where she really crossed the line. I’d been working on a painting for several weeks and had almost completed my masterpiece when she and her gang “accidentally” spilled paint all over the canvas. “Oh, sorry!” she feigned, and then left me to absorb what had just happened while the teacher insisted I stay and clean up the mess.

Two other girls in my class – Vicki and Sarah shook their heads in disgust. “This can’t continue.” they stated. “That girl has to be stopped.”

“I agree,” I muttered as I crawled about the class on my knees cleaning tempra paint off the floor, “But how?”

That afternoon at lunchtime the three of us hunkered down at a table in the cafeteria to eat. No sooner had we settled when Susan came bounding over, knocked my tray off the table proclaiming me a moron and warning, “Better watch yourself tonight.”

I could feel my face flush and the bile rise in my mouth. I’d learned one thing from comic books, and that was how things were never what they seemed. The meek were often strong. The strong were often scared and bullies could be undermined. Before I knew it, Sarah was standing.

“What did you say?” she asked her.

For a moment I saw Susan blanch. She was shocked. This was unexpected. All she could manage to say was, “What?”

“You heard her, " Vicki demanded, also now standing. They looked like two Davids' to Susan's Goliath.

"What's wrong with the baby?" Susan taunted, "Needs other people to stand up for her?"

"No," I said rising to my feet, "I can stand up for myself."

She hesitated. Everyone was looking at us. Even the lunchroom nun was staring in disbelief.

“You'd better watch yourself.” Susan growled just low enough for my table to hear.

“Or what?” I asked

Susan just stared at me.

“Or what?” I repeated, “You’ll kill me? Beat me up? Hit me? Bury me? Why wait until tonight? Come on. Get it over with. Do it. Come on. You want to hit me? Hit me.” I was on a roll. Words were ammunition from my slingshot and I was on the attack. Next thing I knew, Vicki and Sarah chimed in.

“Yeah,” they echoed, “You wanna fight? Let’s fight.”  

Susan blinked. The cafeteria was eerily quiet. All eyes were on us.

“You’re not worth it,” Susan grunted, as she backed out of the lunchroom alone. And that, was the end of that.

For a moment, I felt 6' tall knowing that I had faced my biggest fear and somehow come out the better for it.

Vicki turned to me, "One Goliath down." she smiled. "Listen, I'm having a sleep-over this Friday. Ask your parents if you can come?"

This was the moment. If I could stand up to Susan, I would finally have the courage to say, "Just have to ask my Mom. My folks are separated."

I waited for the judgement that never came. Instead she simply said, "Cool. I'm adopted. Come by at 7:00."

[lauraramargosian]

Celebrities when they were younger, how their past photos inspire.

Celebrities when they were younger, how their past photos inspire.

Yes, this is Calvin Harris!

Isn’t it true that sometimes we look at celebrities as though they have always been “glamorous,” [yes, “Fergalicious” did help me remember how to spell that, I love that song]…

The entertainment industry shows the beauty, the glistening, the star-studded hotties wearing the biggest name brands like Prada, Calvin Klein, Versace or House of Drew.

In fact, that’s the goal, Hollywood talent tend to maintain the image they hope to inspire others with, luckily, it doesn’t take away from being human and that includes making mistakes.

These photos are some of your favorite celebrities when they were younger. Ryan Seacrest, for example, truly had my jaw hit the floor.

It’s nice to be like, “man, we would have been friends in middle school and high school.”

Further, we all had those “awkward phases,” growing up and many can relate.

The truth is, the majority of your favorite celebrities were bullied, they felt hopeless too at times.

Strength, that’s the word that brought them to where they are at this moment.

Youth is a process of growing and learning. Music videos, songs, lyrics, acting, it all comes with a past that influenced it, that’s why they say “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

It’s safe to say that many people want to leave the world better than you found it, Mac Miller, [and my heart still hurts] for example, was constantly worried about the legacy he would leave behind…

But that worry, was all for nothing because he left behind art, a story, a struggle and one that constantly inspires people to make better choices.

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Trials can make our emotions rise but they also help you in a positive way.

“When you feel sad, it’s okay. It’s not the end of the world. Everyone has those days when you doubt yourself, and when you feel like everything you do sucks, but then there’s those days when you feel like Superman. It’s just the balance of the world. I just write to feel better.”

-Malcolm James McCormick

Honestly, it’s one of the best quotes Positive Celebrity has remembered from watching Mac Miller’s past interviews.

It’s a quote that really hit emotions due to the fact that we have all said: “everything sucks right now.”

When you look through photos of celebrities when they were younger, it’s almost as though you connect on another level.

To be specific, maybe you looked completely different when you were younger.

Unfortunately, sometimes kids can be mean and maybe you were bullied.

Taking a look at celebrities when they were younger gives you a little perspective into who they were before Hollywood shined its lights on them and allowed them to follow their dreams.

Not only their dreams in music or acting… But being able to further help charity, or bullied LGBTQ youth.

Pride 2019: Daya was not afraid to open up about her sexuality!

The list goes on and on, so when you look at a picture, think of it the way Susan Sontag explains in her quote.

“All photographs are memento mori. To take a photograph is to participate in another person’s (or thing’s) mortality, vulnerability, mutability. Precisely by slicing out this moment and freezing it, all photographs testify to time’s relentless melt.”

― Susan Sontag

“A picture is worth a thousand words,” refers to any complex idea and how it conveys meaning, purpose, and essence more effectively than a description does.

With this in mind, maybe looking at where our favorite celebrities started is what we need for that extra kick in the butt to never doubt or settle for less than you deserve.

To end, we want to invite you to take a look at your favorite celebrities when they were younger. Most importantly, remember who they are now as well, you’ll see more than growth, it’s like looking into their soul.

Except, it’s yearbook photos and stuff, haha!

Blessed be and enjoy!

Beyonce

Britney Spears

Calvin Harris

Clint Eastwood

David Guetta

EMINEM

Jennifer Aniston

Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber

Kim Kardashian

Krewella

Lady Gaga

Leonardo DiCaprio

Mac Miller

Madonna

Martin Garrix

Matt LeBlanc

Ryan Seacrest

Selena Gomez

Shia LeBeouf

Skrillex

Skrillex

Taylor Lautnor

Taylor Swift

Zac Efron

Zedd

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Positive Celebrity Gossip - Laurara Monique

Laurara Monique is known by various celebrities as the youngest and kindest celebrity blogger. PCG has been described as a "celebrity safe zone."

Positive Celebrity Gossip - Laurara Monique shared a post.

Lmfao, this had me shoot coffee out of my nose. LOL. Kids really do say these things sometimes. bhahahaha.

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Positive Celebrity Gossip - Laurara Monique

“All photographs are memento mori. To take a photograph is to participate in another person’s (or thing’s) mortality, vulnerability, mutability. Precisely by slicing out this moment and freezing it, all photographs testify to time’s relentless melt.” ― Susan Sontag

Celebrities when they were younger, how their past photos inspire.

Celebrities when they were younger, how their past photos inspire. Check it out right here on positive celebrity gossip and entertainment news!

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Just having a laid back day.

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Just having a laid back day.

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Fortnite fun, right, right? Maybe, and gamer rage. Lol.

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Animals don't have a voice but you do!

This Humane Society was named as 4-star charity for fiscal responsibility!

This Humane Society was named as 4-star charity for fiscal responsibility! Check it out right here on positive celebrity gossip, charity news as well as all entertainment news!

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“I dreamt of being a famous singer or an actor who, through my work, could inspire others to be themselves or hang in there. I had no idea how I dreamt so big when I felt so small, but I know it got me through each day. I wanted to be the person I couldn’t find in my life.” - Ruby Rose

Ruby Rose: ‘Dreamt Big’ when she felt ‘so small.’

Ruby Rose: ‘Dreamt Big’ when she felt ‘so small.’ “I dreamt of being a famous singer or an actor who, through my work, could inspire others to be themselves or hang in there…

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