#fucks wiht me
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identifying as “cis” makes me feel so dysphoric for some reason, even though i literally am cisgender?
maybe it’s because i’ve been though so much to figure out my gender identity (identifying as non-binary for a little bit; changing pronouns; figuring out a new name; telling someone) that finally settling as what i was before all that exploration just doesn’t make sense to me
like at this point i’ve been through to much to still consider myself “cis” 😭
does anyone know any terms that might help the dysphoria a little bit? i’m getting pretty tired of feeling my soul fight itself whenever somebody asks if i’m cisgender or not
#like i’m perfectly fine being a girl#i like being feminine (kinda)#like i’m cool with it#i’m chilling rn#BUT#for some reason#the word cis#or saying#“i am a girl#fucks wiht me#like idk#i’m tired of exploring i just wanna be me and feel okay with it#but sometimes it all comes back so much and i’m all fucked up again#gender dysphoria#dysphoria#gender#gender identity#identity#cisgender
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choosing which scars to keep.
close ups under the cut
#the real progression of me watching just roll wiht it is seeing how gradually more fucked up my chip design gets#my poor boy :((#i say drawing him with his spine exposed and a large hole in his chest#idk if the hole is still there in canon but idc its cool and tragic so it stays#i also dont draw him with a bandana anymore but oh well#also i forgot the tattoos but lets pretend i didnt#im aware the spine isnt quite right but who cares not me (i do its driving me crazy )#chip jrwi#jrwi spoilers#art#my art#jrwi#jrwi fanart#just roll with it#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi chip#chip lastname#chip bastard#chip james#chip fanart#comics
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nothing sexier than a skilled, effortlessly lethal man
#ffxvi#barnabas tharmr#POSTING IT HERE TOO BC !!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS SHAKING REWATCHING THIS UNTIL IT WAS OVER#THE FACT THAT CLIVE WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD SECONDS IN????? IF BARNABAS HAD BEEN FIGHTING HIM SERIOUSLY???? WIHT ONE HAND ?????#SWORDSMEN I LOVE U SO#WALOEDER SWORDSMEN I LOVE U EVEN MORE#benedikta girl u were so real i would have also fucked both him and cid if given the chance#his little fucking chuckles and smirks during...........sir i am on my knees#the one specifically where he realizes that clive is protecting jill and joshua......and then immediately picks up a RANDOM SWORD#AND TUCKS HIS ARM BEHIND HIS BACK#ok its slepnir's sword so not completely random bUT ITS NOT ODINS#i would die for u i would end it all right here and now jsut say the word#i am NOT !!!!!!!! DOING WEL L!!!#I NEED HIM#his fucking thigh garters???????? the expensive ass shirt ????????///#WHO GOES INTO BATTLE LIKE THAT BARNABAS#GODDDDDDDDDDDD#I NEED HIM TO STEP ON ME RIGHT TF NOW#IS HE A LITTLE INSANE ????? YEAH BUT THATS FINE I CANT FIX HIM BUT I CAN FUCK HIM#i woul d die for him i would so fast#my king wants me to become an akashic??? say less !!! goodbye free will !!!!!!!!!!!!#barnabas tharmr my favorite cult leader <3#ok im done i htink#GRRRRRRRRRRRR BARK BARK BARK GRRRRR BAR K BARK#ok now im done
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no one's done this one yet?
#someone should i think theyd be really fun together#13 in potd realising what they had during the vault years Was friendship actually she just couldnt see it bc of the fear to trust#and 15 seeming to be more good time > rules#i can see him being like 'you know what. you havent betrayed me YET'#dhfkjhgjk scream oh my god imagine him accidentally rewritng the entire timeless child arc bc he just likes hanging out wiht missy#vault nostalgia. just chilling. they go out dancing. its a great time#and bc the master will become like 90% less evil if the doctor just pays them attention he actually just rehabilitates missy#without all the drama and testing and neuroticness of the vault#she just fucking chills out. never becomes dhawan!master. they never find out about the timeless child#15 just wakes up one day in bed with her after a night out and is like........................feel like theres smth im missing#'wasnt i a woman before. why do i not remember like 80% of that regeneration'#and missys like 'happens to me All The Time dont worry abt it kitten'#and hes like okay <3 yay :)
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have they made oogie boogie. do you think they're gonna make him a twink. i'll mourn.
#is this like confirmed or are people fucking wiht me??#idk#but yeah#【 speaks ✧#【 devil talks twst ✧
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some whiteboard doodles i made during class (not discord whiteboard (lmao))
#squirrel's art#kirby#magolor#..... do i main tag it#sure fuck it we ball#warriors#warrior cats#squirrelflight#squirrelstar#yes the 4th image is supposed to be her#i made a design for magolor under his clothes (1st image) and brainrot made me go what if squilf :00 so here we are#also the paw is a close up of his paws lmaoo#also in the 1st image it says balling magolor is balling wiht kirby#ok enough tags :333#sorry warriors main tag lmfao#oh#kirby series#i forgot that#shameful truly
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im yearning again not even for someone in particular just like in general . FUCK !
#was thinking about a book im reading while i was walking to class earlier and i was like oh man i wish i had someone wiht me rn who loved me#enough that they would just walk with me and listen to me talk to them about the book im reading#and then like that led to me thinking about how nice it would be just to like love someone and hodl someone. FUCK im being a little#embarrasisng rn. whatever do you still think im cool. ALSO thinking about how nice it would be to just listen to someone i love#talk about something they realyl care about . RFUCK#cricket.chatterbox
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HI i last did this in August
#and i found this chart while looking for something else#rhm was the shy one last time so i switched it up now teehee#i like it when i can stay inconsistent wiht shipping dynamics it gives me more time to stay fucked up n hyperfixated on them#ALOS YEAH i like my men old anf in love together#fuck with that aesthetic so much i need it in sapphic too like raine and the owl lady HOW the fuck did i just forget her name good lord#scriboozles#I DID NOT HAVE TO DETAIL IT . YET I ONLY DO THIS IN SHIP CHARTS#thsc#the henry stickmin collection#copperright#right hand man reborn#reginald copperbottom#rhm
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the massive problem with social media apps these days is that theyre modeling them to be primarily used for monetisation. like I dont give a shit about making money on these stupid app, I just wanna see my friends' silly posts and make silly posts myself.
#exploding social media influencers and monetanisation trends with my mind rn x#i just wanna hang out with my friends on apps!!! thats all i want!! leave me alone wiht ur fucking cOnTenT
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Put cassie next to yara, donna and diana and tell me it isnt just sad
#Like come on#Its not offensive to my brain its just absolutely nothing#They all get cool armor and cassie is. In leggings. And a tshirt.#txt#Disclaimer im not 100% sure what donna has rn but i know its at least an Outfit. Like a superhero costume#She needs a superhero costume and not just fucking hey im a 15yo going to school outfit#Not that adults cant wear thsi etc etc but u cannot tell me compared to the rest of wonders she doesn't look like a child#Whatever its not like theyre doing anything wiht her anyway. Shes barely a character at this point
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CASHAPP PLEASE JUST LET ME USE MY FUCKING MONEY IM TIRED
#sludgetalkz#''you are not eligible for a card'' WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?? MY FIRST BORN SON ???#my account has been verified and everything but I can't do shit wiht my money fuck my yaoi life
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prompt: personify this fucking flower v
#TKO_art#she actually said draw a character design for this chrysantheMUM#oops#I didn't do that#I was going to do the whole 9 miles#with the whole T-posing bit and clothes#but this took me like#4 hours#which honestly is pretty good cuz most of the time when i take 4 hrs to do somethign I hate the end result#and she's pretty chill#i'm chilling wiht her#i'm gnawing on her collarbones#don't ask me how hair phsyics works i don't fucking know#still trying to figure that out#i make that shit up#really just like the stems on her neck#which took me 10 minutes to do#GOD WHY IS EVERYTHIGN SO DIFFICULT#anyway my bones started vibrating 2 hours into this piece so fuck you exhaustion#she did have ears but I said fuck it we ball#night night pookies#kiss kiss for all#NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT#kept saying I hate how this is rendered but if I keep leaving pieces unfinished i'll never get better so i'm pretty happy with how this#turned out#so yeah now im going to bed#RAAAAAA
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ok vent post but its not past 9pm so im mostly normal. did not do wonders for my self esteem that the 2 guys that fucked me up the worst are extremely similar to me. like guy #2 the most recent one is literally jsut fucking like me but a tiny bit worse & I don't know how he expected a romance between us to go well because we both fucking hate ourselves
#shitboxposting#my self hate is not restricted to just myself. anyone like me & anyone that likes me is not right in the head thats disgusting#shitbox big fucking stupid moments btw 'yeah i dont think i like him' -> fail to make that clear to him before it's Too Late#people that Like Me are a threat now. scratches my head. yeah this is one of those things that is best discussed with someone paid to do it#whatever. bite and bark can deal wiht that for me
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guys i'm going to be honest i'm hanging on by a fucking thread and i don't think i'm seeing my therapist for another week and a half
#little scared for her because i think i'm going to not be the nicest to her when i do see her#listening to my suitemates talking in the common room wiht my door open like oh. okay. so you talk to each other but not me#do i need to go missing do i need to end up on the news what's going to stop this#let me refill my water bottle fucking whatever. anything to be in their orbit. anything to be anything
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imm fucgking kimilimg mysefsls
#FUCK YOU WHOEVER CAME UP WIHT THE WEBP BULLSHIT#I HOPE YOU DIE A MISERABLE FUCKING DEATH#I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON SHIT#FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU#LET ME SAVE A FUCKING GIF AS A FUCKING GIF#FOR FUCKINGS SAKE#WHY ISNT THERE A FUCKING EXTENSION FOR THIS ON FIRE FOX#THERES ONE FOR JPEG AND PNG#BUT NT FOR FUCKING GIFS#KILLINGMYSELF#THE ONE TIME CHROME IS BETTER THE ONLY ONE TIME
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i dont think ive been Posting much about collei but i think tumblr simply knows exactly how much ive been thinking abt her (and wanderer 🙄 but mostly her) and adjusted accordingly
#i miss soap being right at the top but its okay he is forever in my heart tumblr cannot ever break our bond...#also smara being up there thank god HIIIIIIIIIIII SMARA <3333333333333 one of my beautiful beautiful fiances.......#tumblr also understands that we are the same person you and i#god. i ahve GOT to keep working on the Many cllei fics in my wips <- most of them involve her its so bad#this is SO weird to see btw. three of The Blogs Ever with such beautiful posts and takes vs whatever the fuck is going on in my mind-#-when i think abt her 😭😭😭 oughghghgh babygirl........#i love my little 4* trio who i will never ever stop thinking abt. my shining stars who i will carry wiht me to my grave#alyalyoxenfree
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