#and then like that led to me thinking about how nice it would be just to like love someone and hodl someone. FUCK im being a little
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minkieater · 3 days ago
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EIGHT FIRST DATES ꨄ︎
005 》 HAN JISUNG
you needed a night out, you needed to have fun— at least that’s what yunho told you. when chan invites your group to a music festival where his curly headed roommate would also be, will it be what you need to get you back on track? or will you start from square one, again?
wc 15.5k my bad y’all its getting serious now | drinking, smoking, kissing, suggestive, music festival vibes, sadness, tiny gets fucked up. vomit but not descriptive. hanjis sexy
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“have you guys ever thought about your wedding?” 
of course you thought about getting married, your wedding, every little girl does— walking down the aisle next to her father, meeting the love of her life at the altar… all of it seemed so futile after your father passed, you haven’t thought about it as a true reality since then, more of a pipedream.
you didn’t know if you were simply driving yourself insane or if you really were obsessed with mingyu, but every single waking thought you’ve had since saturday was about getting married, knowing you were nowhere near that stage of your life but for some reason… questioning it. maybe even excited for it. 
everything with mingyu has felt meant to be so far… maybe it was.
the entire table looked at you in silence– eight pupils staring into your soul, wondering where the fuck that came from. yunho was quick to shut you down. 
“i don’t even want to ask, tiny.”
“i’m serious! have you even considered what you’d want in a partner? what your wedding would look like?” you were in dreamland, sparkles in your eyes and everything as you stared up at the high ceilings of your kitchen. yeosang and san had brought over dinner, which led to the five of you seated on barstools around your kitchen island in silence, up until now. 
“sexy and rich,” yeosang didn’t even look up, mouth full as he digged deeper into his meal. 
san nodded in agreement– “my wedding will be big enough to make everyone attending jealous, small enough to make others wish they were invited.”
“you’re both shallow,” you grumble, picking at your plate, moving your food around. you glance at your twin, “ace, what about you? do you think reia’s the one?” 
ace lets out a nervous chuckle, one that sounds exactly like yours, “i– uh, maybe. possible.”
you pop a brow, sitting back in your stool, straightening your back. you weren’t the only one that picked up on it, the entire table noticed his shift in energy, the change in tone. yunho asks, “what’s going on?”
ace groans in defeat when there was never an argument to begin with, elbows hitting the granite, palms digging into his eyes. “i think reia’s going to break up with me.” 
“why?” your voice is loud, surprised. you take it down a notch, “what happened?” 
he leans back, moving his hands away from his face and you notice that he looks tired. bags under his eyes, his skin looked dull, his freckles weren’t freckling like they usually did. you blamed it on school and the stress he’d been under– you didn’t think reia had anything to do with it. last time you checked, how ace felt about reia is how you felt about mingyu. 
“she’s been saying shit like how i’m not giving her enough attention, not seeing her enough, all i care about is school and when i’m not doing homework i’m with you guys,” he huffs, his voice sounding weak now that he’s finally admitting it. 
“why doesn’t she come hangout with us?” yeosang asked, but you were sure that’s what you were all thinking. “she’s usually here all the time, and your workload for school hasn’t changed.”
“i guess she’s been feeling this way for awhile,” ace stretched his arms over his head, lifting his eyebrows, expression saying he’s had this conversation already– with her. “we don’t have enough one on one time.”
yunho leans over the counter, palm holding up his baseball cap covered head, “get an airbnb for a weekend, take her somewhere nice, just the two of you. she’s probably feeling underappreciated and overwhelmed with her own schoolwork.” 
“that’s actually a good idea,” ace marvels, a semblance of light returning to his eyes, “you’re so good with girls, bro. incredible how you’re still single.” 
yunho smiles, “incredible how i manage to fight ‘em off me.” 
yeosang rolls his eyes, “can we circle back to why teens is asking about marriage?” 
“no,” the three boys say in unison, all eyes landing on yeosang.
“okay, fine, riddle me this,” yeosang sits a little straighter, index finger pointing to the air in front of him, “tiny, whose never gone on a date before a month ago, shows up to dinner with her prehistoric boyfriend and starts talking about marriage. no one wants to ask any questions?” 
you gasp, “yeosang! he is not—”
“that’s actually a good point,” san shrugs, “we haven’t talked about him yet.”
“how old is he anyways?” yunho asks, both elbows on the table now, long fingers folded over one another on the top of his palms. 
your cheeks flush, near mumbling as you redirect your attention back to the food in front of you, hoping no one notices the warmth on your skin. you were waiting for this question, scared of this question. “thirty.” 
“tiny.” ace’s tone is firm, disappointed even if he only said your name— the underlying message is clear to you. you break your staring contest with your plate to look up to him, there are a million words on his tongue, but he says none of them. 
your face burned in embarrassment, you were scrambling for something to say, small tuts leaving your lips instead. you didn’t know how to defend it, defend him— you were still debating it yourself. they didn’t know this was currently a sensitive topic, that you’d been non stop questioning your relationship with mingyu for almost forty eight hours, worried that it won’t work out because of that very reason. 
san giggles, “we knew you had daddy issues, teens, would’ve never expected you to fuck someone old enough to be one. props to you, actually.” 
your world went silent, the insult flipping a switch within you. your train of thought skipped right past anger to hurt, tears quickly filling your eyes. you fled from the kitchen— two palms flat on the granite countertop pushed you off of your stool, legs racing through your hallway. you only heard yunho scold san with a stern drag of his name as your legs took you to up your bedroom, locking the door behind you. 
that wasn’t the conversation you intended to open by asking that question. you were once again putting your foot in your mouth, regretting sharing your thoughts, it was as if san had that statement locked and loaded–– ready to hit its target. your boys had always said whatever they thought, feelings be damned, you forgot how much it hurt to be on the receiving end. 
it felt like you were younger when they’d tease you relentlessly, only stopping when ace made them. you haven’t felt that way in a long time, their teasing now was lighthearted, and you did it right back— it’s been years since you’ve been in tears in your bedroom over something one of the boys said. 
as you laid on your back, sprawled across your mattress, you began to think, and what san said started to make more and more sense as you thought about it. daddy issues— your tears dried without you noticing. mingyu’s age, his career, his stability, the pet names, how he took care of you already, his dominating nature that ‘only came out with you… you ate up every moment— you loved it, even. 
but it was all because of one thing, and as much as you hated it, san hit it right on the money. 
“teens?” he spoke before he knocked, three rhythmic taps of his knuckles against your door. 
“go away, yunho,” you frown, turning on your side with your back facing the door even if he couldn’t see you. 
“let me in,” he urged, you could see his scowl through the wooden slab that separated you. “i’m sorry for what san said– san is sorry for what he said. please let me talk to you.”
you sighed, you knew he wouldn’t go away, he’d sit there until you opened up whether that be in one hour or six. you got up, unlocking your door, but you didn’t open it. you let him open it himself as he followed you inside your room, you plopped onto your bed lifelessly, your body a dead weight. he followed you, sitting at the foot of your bed, resting a hand on your ankles that laid one over the other. 
“he shouldn’t of said that,” yunho started, “it was fucked up. he crossed a line.” 
“he’s right,” your throat constricted, words fighting their way through. your words become quieter, a strain on your vocal chords, “i thought mingyu was perfect.”
“what did i tell you?” yunho leaned across your legs so he could see your face that was laid on the pillow. you looked down at him as he said, “you deserve someone who’s gonna appreciate you, cherish you, you’re special and important.” 
you blinked, tears returning to you, filling up your waterline. “he does all of those things, he makes me feel that way, and now i’m supposed to be normal when i know the only reason i feel this way about him is because my dad is dead? because matt fucking sucks?”
yunho purses his lips, his body stiffening on top of your legs. “tiny, there’s eight years between you. he’s fooling around with you, it’s not right.”
“i know our age difference already!” your voice raises, “he’s done everything right, yunho. you don’t know him, you didn’t even try to get to know him when he was here, instead you sulked in your bad mood like a child. what was that even about?” 
“don’t get pissed at me because of something san said,” he sits up, his weight lifted from your legs, his eyes looking everywhere but at you as he continues. “i was just in a bad mood saturday, it wasn’t about anything.” 
“you’re lying, jeong yunho. you forget that i know you,” you sit up, too, facing him feet apart on your mattress. he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, he wasn’t expecting you to call him out.
“you’re missing the point,” he sighs, looking down at your mattress, reining in the topic at hand. “i don’t know him, but i don’t need to. eight years of life is longer than you think, he knows a lot more than you, you just started going on dates. you don’t know anything, tiny.” 
“i know enough,” you shake your head, “i know that i like him a lot and that’s enough for me.” 
“so what, you want to be married within the next two years?” he looked back up to you, his face was unreadable, but his voice was firm, truthful. he meant every word he said. “miss out on being in your twenties? miss out on dating? learning about people, experiencing life, trying out different things. learning how to be independent, how to support yourself, miss out on all of that because you have a rich husband? that’s your goal?” 
you blink, “is that why you’re single? experiencing life, dating around, fucking who you please because you can? sounds boring to me.” your words are curt, intended to sting. “i’d much rather learn and experience with someone, grow together as a unit.”
“be realistic, think like you’re twenty two, not like you’re still seventeen,” he bites, sending the sting right back to you. after a moment’s pause, he speaks, his voice soft. “i’m single because i’m waiting.”
“for what?” you ask, eyebrows knitted together, tears still dancing down your cheeks. “how do you know? …what you’re waiting for?” 
“it’s not for what, tiny— it’s for who.”
──────  ꨄ︎
“i have an idea,” chan was smiling ear to ear, you wondered if the two of you would ever pay attention to your lecture again, two weeks in a row spent talking the entire class. “me and my roommates are going to a music festival this weekend, you should come.”
your lips form a line, “chan, if this is about–”
“hear me out!” he interjects, a finger coming up between you, silencing you. you sit back in your chair, crossing your arms as he continues. “i know you’re seeing someone, but this will get jisung off my back and you can get a feel for him without making it an actual thing.”
seeing someone feels sour, you ignore it— “okay, let me hear your plan.”
“it’s a music festival, so it’s not like it’s some private, real date like going to dinner or something. you can bring your friends, i’ll be with mine, we can meet up and it can be a group thing so you have people to hangout with if you aren’t into hanji,” he raises his eyebrows with a smile as he awaited your response, “not bad, right?”
you think about it for a second– it’s not a terrible idea, and you did owe chan for your own date with him. you nod, “when is it?”
“saturday, i’ll text you the link for tickets. me and my three roommates are going, jisung jihoon and jeongin, everybody’s single,” he winks, “they’re all music people.”
“and all of their names start with J,” your eyebrows furrow, “how did you manage that?”
he shrugs, “me and jisung were roommates, jeongin and jihoon were roommates, we got an apartment together sophomore year and it just happened to be that way. i’m the only non-music major and the only one whose name doesn’t start with a J,” he brings his attention to his laptop, pulling up the website for the music festival. 
“it’s all weekend long, you probably don’t want to go all weekend so just come for one day,” he says, pulling up the lineup on the screen. you scan the list and you know several artists, it seems fun, and the idea was well thought out. it wasn’t necessarily a date, but instead a place you would just happen to be at together– you would barely have to talk to jisung if you didn’t want to. 
you didn’t have to tell mingyu, either— not that he’d have an issue if you did. being wednesday now, you haven’t seen him since sunday morning, and since monday night… there was no way he couldn’t tell something was off. where you were usually bubbly on the phone with him, over text, you’d turn monotonous without even realizing. the whole relationship began to feel stale after what san said, after your talk with yunho. you weren’t sure if any of your feelings were legitimate anymore.
chan texts you the link and you immediately send it to your groupchat, telling the boys to clear their schedules and to buy their tickets (you tell san to get one for you, too. he owes you). you were met with no pushback, all of the boys agreeing except ace— he was taking reia away for the weekend, using yunho’s idea. 
“i’m so excited,” chan beams, scrolling through the website, “it’s really cool, we’ve gone every year since we started here. tell your friends that my roommates are single.”
“i’ve never been to a music festival before, just random concerts here and there. you’ll have to show us etiquette,” you snicker when you realize exactly what he’s implying with his roommates— you didn’t think any of your three boys had gotten any in awhile. “i will definitely let them know.” 
as you walked out of class and into the brisk, october air, a certain car stuck out like a sore thumb in the parking lot. sitting idly and illegally was a BMW pulled up beside the curb, closest to the building of your class— completely blacked out, tinted windows with a gold seventeen decal on the back window on the driver’s side… that car belonged to one person and one person only.
he stepped out of his car as soon as you walked out of the building, dressed in all black business casual attire, sunglasses on his face. you bid chan goodbye without as much as a glance, feet drifting toward mingyu so fluidly and without thought you could’ve been floating all over again. maybe he did cast a spell on you.
mingyu stepped around the vehicle to open his passenger side door, greeting you with a smile, “hey, princess.” he kissed you on the head before you slid into the seat, the smell of his cologne and fresh leather hitting your nose as he shut the door behind you. 
“what are you doing here?” you asked as he got into the driver’s seat, putting the car into reverse. you began feeling awkward, confused, your talk with yunho came to mind again– mingyu’s presence made it too easy to forget all of your worries. 
“don’t sound too excited, i’m taking you to lunch,” he shot you a tight lipped smile as he put his car into gear, pulling out of the parking lot. 
“mingyu,” you breathed with a small shake of your head. you hadn’t even gotten all of your thoughts in order, you wanted to wait before you talked to him, you knew it was coming eventually— he did, too. 
“don’t say anything,” he kept his gaze on the road in front of him, the sun shining through his windshield, kissing his soft, golden skin. he let his hand fall to your thigh. “just… let me do this.” 
“okay,” you said, flushing as the weight of his palm hit your skin. electricity shot through you every time you were with him, every time he touched you— it had to mean something. 
or did you just want it to? 
he pulled into the parking lot of a diner, a small one near your campus. you loved diners, you used to go with your family growing up once a week— every sunday morning, stopping shortly after you turned twelve. your blood thrummed in excitement under your skin. 
you sat in a booth, a quietness consuming the two of you, you thought maybe he didn’t know what to say— you definitely didn’t. mingyu broke the silence first. 
“you want to tell me what’s going on?” 
“there’s nothing to tell, nothing going on, i mean,” you barely looked up from your menu when you knew what you wanted to order in the parking lot. how do you tell someone that the only reason you’re interested in them is because you’re wired to? 
he sighed, laying his menu down on the table. the waitress comes and takes your orders, leaving you to silence once again. 
“the only way this is going to work is if you’re honest,” his voice is more serious than it usually is. you have nothing to hold in your hands anymore— it feels like you’re back at that expensive restaurant when mingyu first brought you on an impromptu lunch date. you feel exposed.
you run a hand through your hair, “i don’t know, mingyu.” you pause, then internally said fuck it. “you said you won’t rush anything with me, but what if i’m just holding you back?” 
“how would you be holding me back?” his eyes were full of concern as he leaned forward, arms folding across the table. 
“you’re thirty, ready to get married, start a family,” you shake your head, “i’m not even close to being there yet.” 
“i met you two weeks ago,” a chuckle leaves his lips, trying to relieve the tension brought by your statement, “why is that on your mind?” 
“you shouldn’t be wasting your time, mingyu. you’re fooling around with a twenty two year old,” your own words weren’t leaving your lips— they were yunho’s. 
“fooling around?” his eyes were raised as if you insulted him. “if i was fooling around i wouldn’t have made so much of an effort. wouldn’t have cooked for you, met your family, i would’ve fucked you the day i met you and never spoken to you again.” 
the gears turn in your head, he said it so simply, you knew it was to help put you at ease— it hurt instead. he continues, “i’ve been serious about you since the day you met me for lunch. i like you.” 
“and what happens when you meet someone who’s ready?” you bite, your brain swirling with mingyu’s testimony but also the advice from your twin. “if your ex comes back to this side of the country, if you meet someone who doesn’t have a dead dad, someone actually meant for you.” 
mingyu laughs— the chuckle was not out of amusement, it was dry and venomous and knowing. “there it is.” 
“what?” you ask, shifting in the old leather booth as if you were in the hot seat. 
“they got into your head, didn’t they?” he shakes his head, a sarcastic smile on his face, “i knew they didn’t like me, your friends, your brother— you would never say that on your own.” 
“nobody ‘got to me’, mingyu,” you argue, your fingers twisting on the table between you because they did get to you and you know that, but you think they might be right. “how do you know what i would say and wouldn’t say? like you said, we met two weeks ago.”
his face hits his palms as he sighs, they slide over his skin in frustration, “was it yunho?” 
“what?” your back presses against the cushion of the booth, “was what yunho?” 
the waitress brings your food to the table, halting your conversation or argument. a part of you wanted to thank her for cutting you off, you didn’t know if you wanted him to continue— not when yunho was brought into the conversation. he did, though, as soon as she walked away from the table. 
he cut into his meal– “yunho doesn’t like me.”
“he has never once said that, mingyu,” you respond, cutting into your french toast. diners were best for all day breakfast.
“he doesn’t need to,” he was smiling again, not out of happiness, you couldn’t place his emotions based on his face. his words didn’t match it. “game’s game. this whole conversation is ridiculous, can’t you see that?” 
“what are you talking about?” your eyebrows blend together, so furrowed in confusion you were sure you looked animated, “what am i not seeing?” 
“it’s besides the point,” he pays attention to his food again, his tone laced with irritation. “i like you, i’ve been trying to be consistent with showing how much i like you— how much i want to do this the right way.” 
“i understand if you think we can’t be together because of our age, because of your past, things out of your control, but i want you to know that i don’t agree. i don’t think any of that should be used to factor whether we work or not because i think we work really well.” 
“i think we get along really well, too,” you said, sounding like you were the one trying to convince him now – you snapped yourself back into reality, what you felt, what you knew, not the bubble mingyu put you in. “in the long run i… mingyu i don’t know if i’m ready for all of this.”
“all of what?” he was getting frustrated now, furrowed brows and a tight jaw, “i haven’t tried to take this even one step further. are you scared of what it could turn into?”
“yes, it feels real,” you shake your head, “it feels really real.”
“in any other situation that’d be a good thing,” he takes a hand through his hair, sitting back in the booth, “maybe you’re right. too young, i guess.”
regret washes over you like a bucket of cold water, but you don’t falter in your words, reciting them from someone else’s mouth. “eight years is a lot longer than i thought it was, you know more than i do– i just started dating.”
he nods, lips pursed, but he says nothing for a few moments. you stare at him with flushed cheeks, an uneasiness sitting at the pit of your stomach. it was fight or flight, and there’s nowhere to run– literally. 
“finish your meal and i’ll take you back to campus,” you couldn’t read his tone, but it was definitely not happy. 
like you always did with mingyu, whether you wanted to or it was installed in you, you obeyed. you spent the rest of your meal wishing you could say something else, words at the tip of your tongue that you couldn’t find the voice to say. he paid for your meal, a gentleman until the end, and drove you back to campus. 
“before you go, can i just say one thing?” he says as he turns to you, flipping his sunglasses on top of his head. you nod. 
“you don’t have to listen to them,” he says and your mouth parts to speak, but he cuts you off. “you may think they know everything about you because you grew up with them, but they don’t know how you feel. they don’t know my intentions for you, they don’t know how much i like you.”
“i know you’ve been through a lot in your life and they were there for you every step of the way, but i’d treat you so fucking well. i would never pressure you into marriage, or having kids or whatever worries have been put into your pretty little brain. i’d do whatever you wanted– if you wanted to travel, i’d take you on trips, we could explore every little school on the opposite side of the world. if you wanted to open your own damn school, i’d do that with you, i’d help you. i don’t want you to walk away with the idea that i’m not the one for you— we both know this would’ve worked if you let it.” 
jaw slack and eyes filled with tears, you stared at him. you blinked once, twice, then your lips were on his before you could even process that you had moved an inch. 
you deserve someone who’s gonna appreciate you, cherish you, you’re special and important. 
isn’t that what this is? isn’t this what you’ve been looking for? your brain whirled, mingyu’s tongue licking into your mouth, his huge palms holding your wet cheeks. 
learning about people, experiencing life, trying out different things.
tears flowed down your skin, onto mingyu’s fingers, he just kissed you harder. 
learning how to be independent, how to support yourself, miss out on all of that because you have a rich husband? that’s your goal?
there was only one way this could end– you needed it to end, now, or else you’d never leave his car. you pulled away from mingyu, wide eyed and so fucking confused. you hated yourself in this moment– it felt like being pulled into your living room when mingyu was in your kitchen. being pulled towards comfort and familiarity, when what your future could be was waiting for you, missing you, hoping you’d stay. 
“i’m sorry,” was all you could get out before you were pushing the car door open and racing towards your own.
──────  ꨄ︎
figuring out an outfit for a music festival was hard to begin with, you had too many factors adding onto it that made the task a thousand times worse. you could barely get yourself out of bed this morning for starters, you hopped in the shower half past eleven when you needed to leave at one. because it was late october and most music festivals were held in the summer, even pinterest wasn’t helping you with inspiration. on top of that, having three men in your bedroom without a lick of a feminine fashion sense made it borderline overstimulating, they threw ideas at you while their outside clothes laid all over your unmade bed– it tipped you over the edge. the only good part was that it’s cold outside. 
you went casual– you needed to, you’d be outside for hours and alcohol can only heat you up so much. baggy jeans, a hoodie and an oversized jacket on top, you accessorized with a baseball cap and some sneakers and you were set. a mini purse with nothing but your ID and some lip gloss sat on your shoulder, sunglasses on your face, you’d be warm, comfortable and cute. 
when you walked downstairs to the three boys sitting in your living room, you realized you were all wearing different versions of the same outfit. you copied them without even realizing– naturally, they noticed, and had plenty to say about it. you didn’t care enough to change. 
the drive to the festival wasn’t terrible, little traffic until you got closer to the venue, yunho drove with loud music playing through the speakers and the other two singing along in the backseat. when you arrived, you immediately sent a text to chan letting him know you arrived.
“i want a drink,” you said as soon as you walked through security, yunho on your left and the other two on your right. “who’s paying for it?” 
“why can’t you pay for it? you should buy us drinks,” yeosang huffed, digging his hands further into his pockets. 
“you’re in the clear,” you moved a little closer to yeosang, bumping your shoulder against his. “i didn’t bring money, the other two are responsible for ruining my relationship with mingyu, so they get to buy my drinks all night.” 
san gasps, “i am not responsible–” 
“surfside?” yunho asks, eyes already scanning the area for the nearest bar, not wanting to begin that conversation again. his figure stood over the massive crowd already formed around you, your group definitely did not get there early. 
“yes, please,” a small smile sat on your face as you followed yunho towards the nearest bar, pleased with how quickly he agreed, he bought drinks for the two of you– leaving san and yeosang to fend for themselves. 
san grumbles, “you should buy me a drink for how mean you’ve been.” 
you point your eyes at him and he shrinks under your gaze, voice growing small as he said, “i’ll buy the next round.” 
you walked through the crowd, so many different kinds of people surrounded you. a range of ages, dressed in clothes much more appropriate for a music festival than yours. the energy of the space was so bright, so welcoming, it was beckoning your mood to brighten– you wished you could let it. 
you stayed close to at least one of the three, keeping your eyes peeled under your sunglasses for a blonde boy no taller than five foot eight. he was nowhere to be found, as you assumed since the venue was so massive. you walked up to the first stage, the main stage which was one you wanted to see, a small indie band. you knew some songs, but you wouldn’t know an entire setlist– the show you really wanted to see wasn’t until later. 
being after three and you hadn’t ingested anything other than your morning (afternoon) coffee, the surfside you had taken about four sips of was already going straight to your head. you wore a disinterested look even though the stage was good, the band was putting on a great show, you’ve been miserable since wednesday. you missed mingyu, even if your time together was short– you figured that you might be perpetually stuck between if your choice was right or if you regret it completely. 
“drummer’s hot,” yeosang comes to your side, bumping his shoulder into yours again. 
you shoot him a tight lipped smile, “he’s alright.” 
“bro, cheer up,” he frowns, “if you were normal you’d be drooling over him right now.” 
you roll your eyes, “cheer me up instead of complaining, then.” 
“where’s the whiskey date guy? aren’t we supposed to be meeting up with him?” yeosang asks and you pull out your phone from your pocket, four texts from chan filling your screen. 
chan: UR HERE!!!! chan: wya
chan: hello
chan: were going to the main stage meet us there
already being at the main stage, you typed back a quick response then looked around through your shaded lenses, the blonde nowhere to be found. you nudged yunho’s side, asking him to look for chan instead, he could see a lot better than you could. as he looked out into the crowd farther than your eyes could see, chan found you first. 
“hey!” you heard to your left, a voice that belonged to the one you were searching for. you whipped your head around, a genuine smile surprising you as it filled out your cheeks, waving him over. 
“you found me! i just texted you back,” you said as he wrapped you into a short hug of greeting. 
he stepped back, looking around you, “where are your friends?” 
“here?” you said with eyebrows raised, yeosang, san and yunho coming forward to stand at your sides. “this is san, yeosang and yunho.” 
“oh,” a questioning look grew on his face, then he stepped closer to you, speaking quieter so only you could hear. “when i said bring your friends, i was not expecting a bunch of…dudes?” 
you giggled, “surprised i’m not with a group of girls?”
“for some reason, it explains a lot,” he shrugs and you raise your eyebrows, asking him to explain without verbalizing it. “you aren’t… shy in the way a lot of girls are, i guess, i don’t know, you talk about your relationship problems with me. plus, we’re in the same outfit.”
you look him up and down, realizing he is yet another person you’ve stolen fashion inspiration from. you smack a hand over your mouth, “oh god, you too?” giggles threaten to slip through your palm, before you shrug and say, “i’m one of the guys, i guess.”
“ew,” he physically cringes, “never say that again.”
three guys approached behind chan and you first spot jisung, the one you didn’t meet at chan’s apartment. he looked the same, a mop of brown curls sat atop his head, big, thin frames on his face, a hoodie and baggy jeans on his body. he looked just as cute as the day you first saw him, like a chipmunk you’d spot outside of your living room window on a spring day. 
he wasn’t sexy, he wasn’t massively muscular, he wasn’t six foot three or thirty years old— he wasn’t mingyu. no one could be.
“these are my friends,” chan pointed to each friend as he said, “jisung, jeongin and jihoon.” 
“ah, the J’s!” you introduced yourself to the three of them, your groups quickly merging to create small talk. chan stood close to you, guiding your conversation with his roommates, you talked about the festival, what bands were playing, until you settled into a layer of comfort to speak freely. the surfside was definitely helping. 
you quickly realized the three boys were more reserved, unlike chan– or they were at least not comfortable enough yet to cut through san and yeosang’s voices, who were quickly dominating the conversation with chan. 
“the next band playing is really good,” jihoon finally interrupts, looking around the group with a gaze which didn’t seem shy, instead calculated, like he was waiting for the right moment to speak. he was shorter than everyone, long, black hair laid over his shoulders, you could see the muscles beneath the black tee he wore, nearly masked by the black jacket sat perfectly on his shoulders. he gave the vibe that he had his shit together– clean, healthy, confident. “do you guys want to stay? who are you here to see?” 
“jungle is playing later,” you reply, “on stage B i believe, at eight? i want to see them the most.” 
“TV girl is playing at six,” yeosang cuts in, warm brown hair that’s gotten noticeably longer was falling over his temples now, “still woozy plays in about an hour.”
“you like still woozy?” jeongin asked yeosang, as if hearing jihoon’s voice gave him the confidence to speak up himself. the two were just about the same height, yeosang was maybe an inch taller than jeongin. his face was insane, to say the least– sharp jaw, high cheekbones, almond shaped eyes that curved up ever so slightly at the edges. he was the other one out of the four that resembled an animal in the most gorgeous way, black hair laying across his forehead that made the shadows of his face deepen further. you wouldn’t be surprised if he was a model, if not a fox turned human– you wondered if he had any interest in you.
“where have you been keeping them?” you say in chan’s ear, leaning closely into his side. chan chuckles, looking down at the ground, hands buried in the pockets of his hoodie. 
“i keep them locked in their rooms, they’re only allowed out during feeding time,” he jokes, a wide smile on his face, voice turning to a hushed whisper as he says, “stop ogling them, jisung will get jealous.” 
“then jisung should do something about it,” you retort as you bring your gaze back to the group– jisung couldn’t see who you were looking at anyways, you still had your sunglasses resting on the bridge of your nose.
“let him get a few more drinks in him, he will,” chan nods nonchalantly as he looks away from you. you rolled your eyes under the shades– you didn’t care either way, but the outright admittance of jisung needing alcohol to talk to you rubbed you the wrong way. 
your group travels to another stage, watching a different group play while waiting for still woozy to start their performance. jisung trailed behind the group with jihoon, the two seemed to be a pair so far, then yeosang, san and jeongin had split off to the side. you walked between yunho and chan, three quarters of your surfside had already heated you up enough to where the bite of the air was more of a light nibble on your cheeks. 
“i need another,” you said in san’s direction, wiggling your can that had little liquid left in it. 
san frowns, “already?” 
you threw the last bit of liquid back, swallowing it quickly, and handed it to san. “yes, please.”
he grabs the can from your hands and turns to the group, wearing a look of irritation even if he doesn't care at all– he’ll let the act go on for as long as he deems necessary. drama queen. “anyone else need another?” 
chan and his roommates hadn’t gotten drinks yet, and yeosang needed a refill– leaving you alone with yunho, where you stood watching the random band playing on the stage. 
“the curly headed one is interested in you,” yunho comments without looking at you, voice flat as he brings his beer to his lips to take a sip. it should catch you off guard how quickly he noticed without you and jisung having any interactions so far, but you were done with being inside yunho’s head. 
you let out a sound of amusement instead, “and?” 
“just letting you know,” he looks down at you, “it seems you know already.” 
you shoot him a pointed look before turning back to the stage, the two of you falling into silence. your stomach grows warm, the drink you’d already chugged down had begun fulfilling its purpose– warming you up first and foremost, helping you forget how miserable you’d become second. 
“i don’t know what to say to you to make things better,” yunho admits, keeping his focus on the band. his mouth twists to one side, discomfort sitting on his features, you two hadn’t really spoken since wednesday. 
you came home the day you ended things with mingyu in tears, anger replacing every atom in your body as if you’d become a pot overflowing with boiling water– you lost it, all of your feelings were directed at both san and yunho. they were sitting on the couches in your living room, completely blindsided when you decided they alone were responsible for how your relationship with mingyu ended. both boys had fought you on it.
ace didn’t have it in him to mediate your argument, he had his own relationship issues to work through, instead he and yeosang watched the three of you yell at each other for minutes until you fully broke down. not once did either of them tell you to make up with mingyu, to reconsider their words, but instead they consoled you for the two week long relationship you were clearly grieving– it pissed you off even more.
after you had time to process the argument, you realized all you wanted was their approval– you wanted them to tell you to get back with him, you wanted them to like him as much as you did, as much as you do. for three days now you've been sitting with your anger, only giving curt responses around your house, spending most of your time in your bedroom, you considered not even coming today. 
you needed to get out– you needed a boyfriend before thanksgiving. 
“there’s nothing for you to say,” you shrug, then cross your arms over your chest. “even if i reached out to him now, i don’t think he’ll ever see me as anything other than an immature twenty two year old. it’s done.” 
he sips his beer again. “you are an immature twenty two year old.” you snap your gaze up at him, ready to bite back, but he continues. “that’s what you’re supposed to be, this is how it should be.” 
a dry laugh escapes you, one that lets him know there was nothing funny at all. “how it should be? at a music festival waiting for a guy to get the balls to speak to me?” 
he speaks through an exhale, “at least this guy is your age, tiny.”
you step to the side, giving yourself space from him, not wanting to slip into a fit of anger and ruin the day for everyone, you know you will if you continue the conversation. your mind whirls as you keep your gaze locked on the stage, not hearing one beat of the drum nor a single strum of the guitar, ears ringing as you try to calm yourself down. 
“i’m sorry,” he says as he steps closer, his voice quiet, only for your ears. “i didn’t think you’d be this hurt, i guess.”
“i came home bawling my eyes out and screamed at you,” you said, baffled, not fully believing him. you hadn’t argued over anything more serious than what you were having for dinner in years. “you didn’t think it hurt?” 
“i’ll stop meddling,” he pulls his lips together, forming a tight line. you see the group of boys returning to where you stood from behind yunho, drinks in tow, you turn to face the stage again. 
“you won’t have the chance to meddle again, i learned my lesson for good,” you say flatly, and he sighs. the sigh was both long and loud, he was truly defeated– he didn’t know how to handle you. you couldn’t comprehend why he felt the need to in the first place. 
“we should head to stage C,” chan says as soon as he returns, san right on his tail to hand you your drink. you were grateful yunho didn’t have the time to continue the conversation. you slap a smile on your face and thank him for the drink before asking chan who’s playing at stage C. 
chan smirks, “weezer.” 
“oh, brother,” you laugh, “let’s go.” 
you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or if you were starting to have a good time, but the time you spent watching weezer while you waited for still woozy to come on seemed to break up the dark cloud looming above you. chan stayed close, he was bleeding positive energy that you didn’t know if he was pushing onto you on purpose, or if it was just him. either way, the smile that sat on your face became more and more genuine, less forced as time went by. 
by the time you made it to still woozy’s set, you were past the level of comfortably warm and leaning towards hot. you stopped at the bar again after weezer, you were just tipsy enough to buy all eight of you a round of shots– the plan was not to get drunk, but that seemed to be the direction the day was going in, who were you to stop it? 
just before the set began, jeongin and yeosang had pulled your group by the wrists to fight through the crowd and get as close to the front as you could. you let yunho and san guide you into the mass of people, two walls of muscle and height to give you a path, the crowd didn’t bother you one bit. your smile was more than genuine now, you couldn’t wipe it off your face– this was a music festival, seeing bands you never would’ve thought of buying tickets for, a group of people gathered in one place that enjoyed the same music as you. you were already thinking of going to more. 
swaying side to side, singing a song you’d heard on repeat in yeosang’s car at the top of your lungs, you almost didn’t catch the eyes that couldn’t leave you. attached to a mop of curly brown hair, behind massive lenses, a gaze of chocolate brown accompanied by a small smile seemed entranced by you. you smiled back when you noticed, then turned your head back to the band– jisung took that as an invitation. 
walking up beside you, jisung didn’t say anything at first. his head nodded along to the song, curls bouncing across his forehead, fingers wrapped around a plastic cup. with a stomach full of vodka, you were almost excited– you wanted to encourage him, give him the confidence, tell him to say something. 
but you didn’t– and jisung still said nothing after the entire song. 
after the song ended, there was a moment of silence amongst the crowd, the inbetween waiting for the next song to play. you glanced around for your friends– yeosang and jeongin were mid conversation, yeosang’s body leaned into jeongin’s but not quite touching, his body language saying you weren’t the only one who found jeongin attractive. damn. 
yunho and jihoon stood behind everyone, the height difference between the two almost made you giggle, where san and chan stood next to them. the four weren’t speaking, but holding their drinks and watching the performance instead, all shooting you a warm look when you caught their eyes. 
you turned to jisung, “can you do me a favor?” he nodded, eyes widening slightly in surprise. “can you hold my drink while i take my jacket off, please?” 
he nodded again and you handed him your can, slightly struggling to get your jacket off over your sleeves. when you got it off, you threw it over your forearm, and jisung handed you your can back. 
“do you, uh– want me to hold your jacket?” he asked, his eyes wide and sparkling– his tone seemed unsure of his own words, but he still said them. 
“no, no, don’t worry about it,” you beamed, “thank you.”
as the next song started to play, a few strums of the guitar woke up the crowd, screams erupting around you. one of the screams had come from yeosang, who had his hands shaped in an oval around his mouth, making his yell that much louder.
you giggled and turned back to jisung who was also smiling in yeosang’s direction, “he really likes still woozy.”
“i would’ve never guessed,” he says sarcastically, his smile never dropping. “you seem to like them, too.” 
“i do, but not as much as yeo. he should be up at the barricade,” you point your chin in the direction of the front of the stage. 
“i think jeongin should go with him,” jisung shrugs, “they seem to be a pair.”
“by the end of the night someone will have to rip yeo off of him,” you joke, and jisung laughs. a soft chuckle, but you sense a wall come down, another shred of confidence popping through his reserved demeanor. you smile. 
“what about you?” jisung asks, eyes still moon-shaped, as if he was scared to ask the question. 
your eyebrows furrow, head tilting to the side, “what about me?”
“chan said you had a boyfriend, he isn't here?” jisung’s lips form a line as if he was scared to hear the answer, your face immediately mimics his, but for an entirely different reason. you didn’t think jisung knew about mingyu, unless chan filled him in and didn’t tell you. you hadn’t filled chan in on the recent developments concerning mingyu, either. 
“i don’t have a boyfriend, i’m not seeing anyone,” you shake your head and turn to the stage. jisung felt the shift in mood, stepping forward, into your view. 
“sorry if i overstepped,” he shook his head, “chan said–”
“chan didn’t know, doesn’t know, you're fine,” you give him a weak smile, and the conversation runs flat. you took the last swig of your surfside– you needed this feeling gone, as if mingyu never happened in the first place. 
“do you want another drink?” jisung asks as soon as the can leaves your lips, “my treat.” 
you give him a singular nod, and before you could process it, jisung was leading you through the pack of people. you didn’t tell a soul where you were going, you walked right through the wall of boys as if they were waiting for you to run off with jisung. where the crowd was more condensed, jisung took a pause, making you stop in your tracks behind him. 
“gimme this,” he muttered as he grabbed your jacket and your empty can, then took your hand with his free one. “stay close to me.” 
your cheeks flushed as you nodded, the heat that was already consuming your entire being only grew in temperature. maybe he’s the type that’s only shy at first. your eyes stayed trained on your linked fingers, his hands were soft, calluses on the tips of his fingers that laid over your knuckles. 
“do you play guitar?” you asked as you made it to the outskirts of the crowd, jisung took a pause that had you flipping his hand over, inspecting the tougher skin atop his fingers. 
“uh— yes,” you glance up, his cheeks pink, the ends of his curls lying along the frames of his glasses. “i make music, i’m studying composing, songwriting, all that stuff.” 
“chan told me,” you smile as you let his fingers go, nearing the feeling of cuteness aggression the more you look at him. all you could muster was a breathy “that’s cool”.
his smile grew and he tugged on your hand again, rough fingertips laid on your knuckles once more as he pulled you towards the bar. behind it was a man who you, at first, couldn’t believe was a bartender— black hair that touched his broad shoulders, a slender figure with a muscular structure that seemed too curated for bartending to be his career. a black long sleeve shirt clung to every inch of him, baggy jeans that hung loose on his hips, an outfit you’d definitely be taking inspiration from. 
his face was nothing short of beautiful, plump lips, a white smile that sparkled when he asked what you’d be drinking. 
jisung turned to you with an eyebrow raised, a questioning look. you cleared your throat, “a surfside, please.” 
“miller, please,” jisung nodded towards him and the bartender shot you another smile before he was opening your cans. you were mesmerized as he grabbed the bar key with nimble fingers, cracking the tab with practiced movements, a speed that told you maybe this was his full time career. 
jisung paid as promised and you took your time making it back to stage C happily with small talk and a lazy stride, choosing to hang at the back of the crowd instead of fighting towards the middle where you stood before. 
jisung’s presence had enveloped your mind quicker than you thought it would, once you broke the ice it was easier to talk to him, speaking as freely as you would with someone who’d been your friend way longer than just a day. you didn’t talk of anything personal, not school, your family, your friends, your interests, your intentions, but instead small talk that came too easily, standing close while you swayed to goodie bag. 
it was comfortable— it wasn’t forced, it wasn’t staged, it wasn’t planned. it wasn’t even obvious that jisung was interested in you, there were no pickup lines, no quick-witted flirting, yet you knew and you might even like it. maybe what you need right now is simplicity. 
when your friends came out of the crowd in laughter and giddy smiles, you felt lighter, the energy around you felt brighter, the air felt clearer, you almost forgot you walked into the venue miserable. with TV girl playing shortly at another stage, there was no time to stand and talk, you and jisung quickly slipped into the crowd of your friend group mid-conversation as if you never ran off in the first place. 
“what’s your guys’ favorite song?” yeosang asked the group, bouncing on his feet as you approached the already formed crowd, jeongin at his side. 
“the whole french exit album,” you were first to answer. “birds don’t sing, louise, lover’s rock, the blonde.” 
“tiny’s a romantic,” you heard san announce, and it brings a smile to your face— whether it was sarcasm or a dig you didn’t care, maybe now you were a romantic. “i only know lover’s rock.” 
“tiny?” jisung asks, turning to you, an eyebrow raised. “that’s you?” 
“unfortunately,” you nod, “been tiny since the womb, practically.” 
“fitting,” jisung smacks his lips together and flattens his brows in contemplation then quickly to understanding— you couldn’t find it in you to feel embarrassed. 
jihoon turns to chan, “you listen to TV girl a lot, right?” 
chan nods towards him, “you should know more than lover’s rock, i play their music all the time at home. better in the dark?” he glances around to empty stares, he raises his eyebrows with expectancy and sings, “the lighter makes a spark, but i look better in the dark.” 
jisung, jihoon and jeongin all simultaneously release a dragged out “oh” in remembrance, and chan rolls his eyes. he turns to you, “they don’t remember shit. too much weed, they smoke.” 
you giggle, then tilt your head to the side, an idea coming to mind. “did anyone bring any?” 
jihoon shoots you a lazy smile, “of course i did, you smoke?” 
you shake your head, “not particularly, but i’m down to.” 
jihoon reaches into his pocket, pulling out a black leather wallet, several joints tucked into one of the folds. he plucks one out, wasting no time as he holds it between his fingers, your group tightens its circle around jihoon as if he was holding gold. 
yunho eyed you from the opposite side of the circle, where you were standing between chan and jisung, he was between san and jihoon. his eyes were observing, debating, a pointed look that forced you to notice it. you shrugged him off, smoking at a music festival just felt right— you didn’t want or need him to parent you, even if you had been drinking already. 
jihoon was quick to light the twisted end of the joint, the red hot flame of his black lighter was enough to color all of your faces an amber hue. you stood like kids, huddled around jihoon like he had a secret to tell, where he took three puffs of the joint to get it burning. your eyes widened as you watched his technique, how he blew on the end of the joint to keep it burning evenly, pink lips tightened to a perfect O shape– a gorgeous sight. 
the circle opens up as you begin passing, a sweet melody in your ear and a pungent smell in your nose, forcing your body into moving to the beat. jisung, beside you, sways his hips in the same motion as yours, a fit of giggles erupting from your lungs as you move in unison. too focused on jisung, you didn’t realize chan was holding the joint out to you. 
you inhaled slowly, you hadn’t smoked since the last time you were at the frats, that had been months ago. you knew the basics, you kept your hits of the joint small, especially since you had a few drinks in you, you were never really a smoker. socially, in the kitchen of a massive frat house, or on the balcony of the only person you consistently hooked up with at school, that only lasted just shy of a month.  
the burn in your lungs and the cough that fought to break through your lips felt nostalgic, you felt so light you could float up to the clouded night sky. immediately immersed into a sense of calm, like stepping into a bath of warm water, you smiled as you passed the joint to jisung. every bone in your body told you you needed that. 
your ears perked to the conversation happening around you, yeosang, san and jeongin in some sort of debate, the joint had made its way to yunho by now. you could feel everything slow down, your eyes hooding, sitting at half mast just from two hits. 
“ah,” jisung tilts his head back in delight, “that strain fucks, hoon.” you couldn’t stop the small giggle from leaving you at fucks.
jihoon smiles, confident as ever, “right?” he looks around the group before he adds, “i grew it myself.” 
san’s jaw drops as he takes the joint from yunho, “you grow it?” 
“right in my backyard,” jihoon nods, “it’s better that way.” 
you check out of the conversation, your focus back on the crowd, not a thought in your brain, yet instead paying attention to the hues of blue and pink that lay over the crowd like blankets. you could see backs of heads and nothing more, shaded eyes not quite reaching the stage, but the light show that cascaded over the mass of people was enough. 
you almost didn’t notice the presence next to you, you hadn’t even realized you moved, as jisung planted his feet directly next to yours, your neck nearly snapped up in surprise. 
“so pretty,” he says, eyes glazed over as they stared out into the crowd, his thoughts probably matched yours. 
“the lights?” you asked, flipping your sunglasses atop your head so you could see clearer.
“you mainly,” he looks down to you and you meet his eyes, not missing the pink that kissed his cheeks, “but yeah, i guess the lights, too.” 
your own cheeks flush– this was the first he was showing interest. you smile through a giggle, “that was smooth, jisung.”
“wanna get closer?” he asks you, reaching for your hand again before you had a moment to answer. 
as he pulled you along, you asked, “are you sure you don’t want to keep smoking?” 
he looks over his shoulder and it nearly takes your breath away, he’s so cute you think you’d follow him around all night, especially if he keeps looking at you like that. as if he’d go anywhere with you, as if he didn’t care about anything else, you saw his feelings in his eyes. he was into you. he smiles, “do you?”
“let’s go,” you nod your head and pull your sunglasses over your eyes again, headed behind jisung into the crowd that was packed like sardines. mumbles of ‘excuse me’ and ‘sorry’ left him as he cut through people, keeping you close to him with a firm grip on your hand, you could feel the calluses on your knuckles so much more. 
when you made it somewhat towards the middle, a pocket of space amongst the crowd, jisung finally stopped and turned to you for approval. you put your sunglasses atop your head again, tucking your hair behind your ears, your view was so much better now. 
the music was louder, the lights were clearer, now it was just you and jisung– you weren’t sure if you were at the festival anymore or if you were up in the clouds. the only thing that could make this better would be if you could actually see the stage. you wish yunho had followed you.
as if he heard your thoughts, jisung’s voice was loud when he asked, “can you see?” 
you shook your head, “the lights are so pretty, it doesn’t even matter.” 
“you're going to think i’m crazy, don’t think i'm crazy,” he prefaces, bracing himself for rejection with a shy smile, “do you want to get on my shoulders?” 
you laugh in disbelief, loudly, looking at him with wide eyes and jaw slack. he raises his eyebrows, “you’re tiny, right?”
“i am tiny but not like that,” you wave your free hand in front of you, “i don’t want to hurt you.” 
he rolls his eyes with a cocky smile, “if you could see what was under the hoodie you wouldn’t be saying that.” 
your eyes widen impossibly further, that was the last thing you expected to leave his lips. a smirk appears on your own, “oh, now you’re confident, huh?” 
���is it working?” 
“maybe.” 
“then get on,” he squats down, your jacket still folded over his forearm but he’s careful not to let it touch the ground. you suck in a breath– this could go one of two ways, especially since you both drank and smoked, either you’ll have an incredible view or everyone will watch you fall to the dirt. 
fuck it. 
you swing a denim covered leg around his neck, slightly hopping up to straddle his nape. you giggle as you do, the action was almost sobering, the amount of focus it took you to balance. as he stood up your hands flew to his curls, the only thing you could think to grab onto to steady yourself, a slew of apologies leaving your lips after you accidentally tugged. 
“jisung!” you yelled, “i didn’t know what else to grab.” 
you could hear the shake of his shoulders as he laughed beneath your thighs, “i could make a terrible joke right now, but i’m not going to.” 
it takes you a moment to catch on, but when you do, you laugh. “nothing but a man.” 
“a man that has you on his shoulders,” he bites back, “enjoy the show.” 
you finally looked up and the stage was finally clear– shrouded in blue light, the members visible, the music so loud– it was nothing short of exhilarating. the thought crosses your mind that maybe this was what yunho was talking about, being in your twenties and experiencing, you don’t know if you would have ever made it onto mingyu’s shoulders in the crowd of a TV girl concert. you guess you’ll never know, and for the first time since wednesday, the thought didn’t fill you with dread - you supposed you have vodka and weed to thank.
instead you screamed– an excited scream, for the band, for the show, for how fucking good their music is. definitely high, more than a little drunk and nearly seven feet in the air, you were positive your night couldn’t get any better. there was nothing better than this. 
“hey!” you heard from beneath you, stealing your attention fully. jisung turns to the side, which turns you to the side, your entire friend group beneath you with wide grins and red, glossed over eyes. 
“hey guys!” you yelled back, your smile reaching ear to ear, “i’m up here!”
“we see you,” yeosang is smiling, “how’s the view?”
“incredible,” you’re gleaming, “this is so fucking cool!” 
san, yeosang and yunho all watch you with soft eyes, warmth in their bodies, you could read their emotions from their faces— superpowers only granted to those who have been friends for two decades. the other three boys stared at you with something like surprise on their faces, for that you could only guess what for, and you didn’t have the brain power to think that deeply about anything right now. you caught chan and yunho locking eyes, yunho shooting chan a dry nod as if to say ‘i told you so’.
you cocked your head to the side for a moment before the thought was gone. you take a sip from your surfside, this one going down much slower than the last ones, and ask the group, “do we have any more weed?” 
“i don’t think you need any more,” san says through an amused smile, with a small shake of his head. he was done being a drama queen. “you’ll fall off the boy’s shoulders.”
“yunho’s here,” you shrug, “he’ll catch me. did you guys know yunho is actually spiderman?” a fit of giggles slips through your lips, your head falling back in laughter. it throws your balance off, making jisung take a step back, and the whole six of them lunge forward. you grab onto jisung’s curls again, stabilizing yourself, “whoa, sorry, i’m getting too comfortable up here.” 
“you should get down,” yunho says with concern as the group walks forward, making something like a crowd around you and jisung without it being obvious it’s to catch you if you fall. “you’re fucked up, teens, you’ll fall.” 
“boo,” you frown, throwing a thumbs down in yunho’s direction. “i like it up here. did you forget you don’t get to tell me what to do anymore?” 
yunho’s jaw tightens, his eyebrows flattening. he chooses not to answer, instead yeosang steps in, saying your actual name in a warning tone. 
“what?” you ask, dumbfounded, “i just wanna watch the show.” 
you bring your attention back to the stage, one hand in jisung’s hair, mindlessly twirling chocolate covered curls around your finger as the other hand brings your surfside back to your lips. you missed the way yeosang, san and yunho shared a look, how the three of them began to realize where tonight was headed, none of them looking forward to it. 
when TV girl’s set ended you were back on the ground, staying close to jisung’s side as you walked toward stage B, excitement flooding you that jungle was next. 
“i can’t wait,” you bounced next to jisung, a wide smile on your face, “do you like jungle?” 
“love jungle,” he nodded, “back on 74? banger.” 
“my favorite is i’ve been in love,” you beam, “i know every word, i think there was a three day period where all i listened to was that song.”
“three days of one song?” he looked at you with raised eyebrows and eyes that looked like the moon hung above you, full and bright, “i would lose my mind.” 
“we listen to music differently, though,” you counter, “i bet you hear a bunch of stuff i don’t. how it’s made, background stuff, lyrics, i just like it when a song sounds good.” 
he smiles, “music’s heard differently by everyone, that’s the cool thing about it. i couldn’t live without it.” 
you groan, “a world without music?” you emphasized your words dramatically, hopefully to humor the boy who knew more about music than you ever would, “that’s called hell.” 
he laughs loudly, hunching forward a bit to catch his mouth with his hand, “i can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic.” 
“i’m serious!” you laugh too, accidentally stepping over your foot and bumping into his side, “sorry. but i am serious, i couldn’t live in a world where music didn’t exist.” 
you step into the line for the bar without even thinking or discussing that you would, you didn’t know where everyone else had gone. something about the food trucks by the main entrance. 
“have you been friends with them for a long time?” jisung asks, moving in front of you, and your eyes glaze over his figure. his clothes fit him so nicely, his hoodie perfectly oversized, jeans lying over the laces of his sneakers at just the right spot. “you seem like you’ve been friends forever.” 
“ever since i can remember, they’ve been in my life,” you nod with a smile, head tilting to the side. your eyes felt heavy. “they’re my brothers, basically.” 
“i only have one older brother,” his lips form a tight smile, “must be nice to have three.”
“four,” you correct him, stepping forward in line, “i have an actual brother, he’s my twin.”
“and you’re all friends?”
“our parents are close friends, so naturally we are, too,” you nod. wanting to change the subject, with a devilish smile you ask, “should we get shots?”
jisung lets out a huff of amusement through his nose, “can you handle shots?” 
“i fear i might need shots,” you say through a breath, you felt like you were slowing down. if you slowed down any further, the sadness would creep back in. “i’ll get this round.” 
he looks at you inquisitively, like he wanted to ask but didn’t know if he should. instead he waves you off and says, “nah, i’ll get them, if you need one so badly.”
you smile and lightly slap his bicep, “now you’re making me sound like an alcoholic, it’s just been a tough week.” 
he nods as you step forward again, one group in front of you in line. “i can understand that, this is good timing, then. the festival, and me.” 
your head snaps up to look at him like a deer caught in headlights, fumbling over your words, “no– i–”
“don’t worry about it,” he shakes his head, “let’s just have fun.” 
you take a second to close your mouth, and nod with a weak smile. he orders you tequila shots and hard liquor drinks this time– go big or go home, his words. as you sipped through a tiny straw on your way back to stage B, you realized he was right, shots and a drink drink were much needed– go big or go home, indeed. your brain was even foggier as you approached the dark stage, jungle wasn’t playing just yet, but you could see small shadows of people setting up the stage from the back of the crowd. 
“should we go up there?” you ask jisung, referring to the crowd, slurring your words ever so slightly. 
the corner of his lips lifted up into a smile, his eyes glossed over just like your own, he’s keeping up with you. “i think we should definitely go up there.”
fingers linked again, pressing through bodies in the crowd, the rest of your friends weren’t a thought in your brain. a wide smile on your face, all you could think was jisung and jungle. he was the perfect person to rip you out of whatever funk you were in. 
jisung got you both closer than you’d been the entire time you were at the festival, it was condensed but not as packed as the first twenty rows of people– you still had wiggle room. he tugged on your hand to bring you even closer to the stage, but you didn’t feel like being a sardine, you had pulled his back to keep you both in the spot you deemed perfect. he’d pulled his phone out to take a picture of the stage, most likely to send to one of his friends to let them know where you were, but you kept your phone in your purse, selfishly hoping they wouldn’t find you. you just wanted to be, here with jisung, watching the show together. 
as the lights came on, screams erupted from around you, also from you and jisung. the crowd collapsed inward, pushing you into the people in front of you– a meek yelp left your lips as people behind you pushed into you. jisung was quick to grab your wrist and pull you in front of him, wrapping his arms around your front over your shoulders, laying one wrist over another in front of you. 
you tilt your head up, fear still lingering in your eyes from almost getting crushed, “thank you.” 
he gave you a tight lipped smile and you swooned. his hoodie was so soft, so warm, his arms wrapped around you made you feel safe, you couldn’t help but lean into his touch. your back pressed to his front, your head laid back on his chest right under his chin, your fuzzy brain wouldn’t let you stop smiling. jungle opened with back on 74 and both you and jisung sang along with the rest of the crowd, swaying side to side, your heads tilted upward to watch the stage. 
you weren’t careful of how much you leaned into him, you couldn’t, that power left you a drink and a shot ago. you completely relied on jisung’s strength to keep you held up as you relinquished the little core strength you had, your fingers on one hand gripping your jacket laid on his forearm, the other holding your drink. his body was sturdy, strong, it felt good pressed against you. your lips stretched to one side, the alcohol was hitting you more than you thought it would– from how often you’d been getting laid, you’d worked up something like a routine with your body, and here jisung was. 
“you comfortable?” he asked in your ear, deep voice sending vibrations through your entire body. 
you answered with a mhm that came deep in your soul, you were more than comfortable– you wanted him. 
your mind travelled as jungle played through their setlist, three songs deep now, you began to wonder if jisung wanted you, too. you tested the waters, pressing your back into him a little harder, but he stayed solid. you rolled your head to the side, let your fingers travel up and down his cotton clad arm, humming along to the song playing. 
his hands finally moved, fingers traveling down to your waist, to your hips, moving with you. a smile grew on your lips as you kept swaying to the music, body still pressed against him– you should be embarrassed with the amount of people around you, they could be watching you, eyes glued to the way your hips were moving on jisung. the thought was fleeting, you didn’t care– jisung, wanted you, too, that’s all that mattered. 
jisung and jungle.
his head came down to reach your ear again, “you know what you’re doing, right?” 
you smiled, an innocent one that he couldn’t see, “you said let’s have fun.” 
he laughed from behind you, a quick chuckle that had your neck bending to look up at him. his smile was intoxicating if you weren’t already, his lips so pink and plump, you wondered what they tasted like. he caught your eyes, seeming like he could read your mind, but he caught your eyes as they dipped down to his mouth and back up at his own. that only meant one thing.
something unreadable crossed his face before he was leaning down, attaching his lips to yours. his speed took you by surprise, as if he mentally said fuck it, but you were even quicker to reciprocate. opening your mouth ever so slightly you deepened the kiss, warmth spreading across your body, momentarily giving you reprieve before the awkward angle and the urge to have more of him consumed you. 
your drink fell to the dirt before your hands came up to cup his cheeks, body completely turning to face him so that your front pressed to his instead. his hands came to your hips again, planted firmly against your jeans, the tips of cold pinkies slipping underneath your hoodie, the chill of his fingers making you shiver. 
it was electric– it was exactly what you needed. your favorite band playing in the background, kissing a boy you’d only met today, this is what yunho was talking about. this was being twenty two, living, experiencing, doing things for the fuck of it… you were starting to hate when he was right. 
“hey,” he said between kisses, making you pull away, catching your breath. a hand came up to wipe at your wet bottom lip as he pressed his curl covered forehead against yours, your breaths still coming out uneven. his eyes were darker, even more glazed over, you wondered how that was even possible. he smiled, that same smile that just did you in moments prior, “i like you.” 
you didn’t miss a beat as you said, “then keep kissing me,” and found his lips again. 
he took a hand up to your jaw, tilting your head back, tongue slipping through your lips. you moaned, not a care in the world for the people around you. you would’ve asked him to take you in a port a potty if you weren’t interrupted a moment after. 
“damn,” you wouldn’t have bat an eye if it didn’t come from a voice you recognized. chan was giggling as he got closer to you, “i don’t know how we even recognized you, if you got any closer you might’ve merged into one.” 
you literally jumped, cheeks flushing as if you were a child getting caught doing something they weren’t supposed to. chan wore the widest smirk on his red cheeks and you couldn’t help but scowl, crossing your arms over your chest. a grumble left your lips, “cockblocker.” 
following him were the rest of the boys one by one, slipping through spaces in the crowd to take their places around you as if they’d been searching for you. out of breath, you couldn’t help but feel disappointed as you and jisung took a step closer to one another again. you caught his eye, he wore the same look you did– horny, frustrated, disappointed. 
after your shared look you bit your lip out of annoyance, then your eyebrows shot to your hairline as you brought your empty palms out in front of you. you looked up to jisung, “where did my drink go?!”
jisung threw his head back in laughter before he pointed to the ground, your now empty cup crushed and covered in dirt. you pouted, “i dropped it?” 
“you don’t even remember?” he was still giggling, hand covering his mouth, the corners of his eyes crinkled. 
“here,” chan said, pushing his cup into your hand– whiskey, neat. you stared at the cup in your hand, face immediately falling, eyebrows furrowing and not because you didn’t like whiskey. you looked back up to chan and his eyes widened, hand lurching forward to grab it from your hands. “my bad, i’m sorry, ohmygod.”
another drink replaced its spot in your hand, a surfside, freshly cracked, still cold. you looked up to yunho in front of you, the one who put it in your hands, and he gave you a warm smile. “better, right?” 
“much, thank you,” a smile replaced your frown as you took a sip, body whipping around to watch jungle again. a heavy hand rested on your shoulder, yunho standing directly behind you. 
he bent down to your ear, much like how jisung did minutes ago, his voice lowered as he said, “pretend we’re not even here.” 
you thanked him with your eyes, body moving before you could process it, skipping to your spot in front of jisung again, where he immediately laid his arms over your shoulders. you hung your head forward, looking around for your group, jeongin and yeosang were holding hands now, san and chan standing too close for that to be nothing, yunho and jihoon silently watching the band. 
you smiled to yourself– despite being annoyed by their interruption, chan damn near pulling you off of jisung, you liked this. you liked chan’s friends being with yours, a blend of people you never would’ve expected hanging out, and enjoying it on top of it all. you wouldn’t mind if you did this more. 
as the familiar tune of i’ve been in love reverberates throughout the crowd, you gasp. “jisung!” you exclaim, your smile massive as you look up at him, “they’re playing it!” 
he beams, eyes full of warmth as he looks down at you, “they knew you were here.” 
you start rapping along, head leaning back onto jisung’s chest. to your surprise, he raps along with you, the two of you going word for word with the band. you looked up to him with shock written all over your face, the two of you getting louder as realization set in, as the song continued. you couldn’t help the stupid smile that you couldn’t wipe off your face, not that you tried– not that you even wanted to try. 
as the song nears its end, you thought over yunho’s words again. pretend we’re not even here.
if they weren’t here, you never would’ve stopped kissing jisung– you already missed his lips on yours. you tilted your head up, doe eyes to doe eyes, jisung was already staring back down at you. you smiled as you glanced down to his lips, a question on your own, one you didn’t have to ask because he wanted it, too. 
warm and soft, already slick with his spit, you could focus on how he felt this time instead of your drunken need overpowering your senses. with newfound clarity, the outcome was just as damning, getting lost in jisung’s lips was just as easy as the first time. keeping a loose hold on your can, you swung your body to face him without breaking the kiss, your other arm wrapping around his shoulder. 
“you’re so hot,” he mumbles into your lips, hands traveling up to your waist, beneath your hoodie. a chill racked through you as a soft noise left your lips, too gone to answer, too lost in the way he made you feel, the temperature of his fingertips against your skin. 
“leave with us, stay over tonight,” a statement that was also a question, jisung’s voice was heavy, a depth to it told you he needed you just as bad. 
“maybe,” you kissed him again, your voice airy, not here nor there. your surroundings had left you— it was only you and jisung in that moment, that’s all you cared about. you couldn’t think about after, you couldn’t think about mere minutes from now, all you could think was how you never wanted his lips to leave yours. 
you missed how yunho watched from his peripherals, how his eyebrows flattened, how his lips formed to a thin line. he couldn’t focus on the band in front of him, he knew you loved them, which made him love them, too, yet you weren’t even paying attention. yunho was dumbfounded— with you, with himself, with his own emotions— he didn’t know what to do. 
after decades of knowing you, his bright eyed, favorite girl, he didn’t think there was this much of you left to figure out. he’s watched you grow up, he himself grew up alongside you, he’s seen you through every phase, every change, but nothing could’ve prepared him for this one. 
random hookups throughout high school, college, none of that actually mattered— you already consumed his mind day and night, but after you started dating, he picked himself apart piece by piece, hoping to realize what you didn’t see in him. 
yunho looked to his left, yeosang was kissing jeongin now. that didn’t take him by surprise. 
yunho looked to his right, san was looking at chan with a hunger yunho had never seen in his eyes before. that should've been more surprising than it was. 
in front of the two boys were you and jisung, that made yunho want to crawl out of his skin. he saw you kissing him moments prior, he even told you to do so in other words, for a moment yunho thought maybe he was a masochist. a glutton for pain, for torture, whatever this feeling was as he stared at you, eyes closed, fingers tangled in that boy’s hair. 
yunho had to let go. he’d already fucked up, he’d already let too many of his feelings slip through the reins of his self restraint, he’s already endured you screaming in his face once, he’d die before he hurt you enough to do it again. he told himself this is just another phase, another change, you’ll come out of it smarter, more experienced, different. he can’t help but be a little scared that you’ll actually succeed in finding a boyfriend. 
as your face detaches from jisung’s to take a breather, yunho can see your glazed over eyes, your expression that read all of nothing, you’d been drinking for hours now without a morsel of food in your stomach. he’s seen you drunk, hammered, hurled over a toilet for hours on end— but you looked happy, which you haven’t in days, yunho didn’t want to interrupt but he didn’t want you throwing up in the dirt, either. 
yunho was at a crossroads. as jungle wrapped up their set and you unwrapped yourself from jisung’s embrace, your face changed, the knit of your eyebrow told him something wasn’t right. he was quick on his feet, two long strides had him at your side, asking you what’s wrong. 
“i dunno,” you mumbled, eyebrows furrowing, your free hand coming up to your face, cold palm pressed against your hot cheek. even through your mask of inebriation, he knew that look, he could read it all over you— this wasn’t about the boy, this was about mingyu. 
“let’s go home,” yunho bent down, level with your face to look into your eyes, he could see the tears before they formed. it put a knot in his stomach. 
“okay,” your voice was strained, raw. yunho felt like he’d been punched in the gut. he should've told you not to smoke, especially after drinking so much, he shouldn’t have brought you that last drink— he should’ve warned you that drinking wouldn’t fix anything. 
he looked up to jisung whose eyes were wide, eyebrows raised in confusion and concern. his voice was raised in pitch as he asked, “is she okay?”
yunho nodded quickly, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed to say she’ll be fine, don’t worry about it. your face hit his chest and he wished he could physically stop his heartbeat from quickening. years of loving you, spending time with you, being close to you, touching you— he always reacted the same. 
chan bounced over, worry in his voice, “hey, hey, hey,” he placed his hand on your back and it took every ounce of strength yunho had to not pull you away, but since chan is your friend, he’d allow it. chan leaned closer, “you okay?” 
you picked your head up to look at him, yunho couldn’t see your face but the look on chan’s told him enough, his eyebrows furrowed even further with worry. “did jisung—”
“no,” you sniffed, “it’s not jisung, just needa go home,” you slurred, shaking your head, “drank too much.” 
chan, who had heard the whole story from san earlier while waiting in line for the bar, looked up to yunho in understanding. for only knowing you a short time, he seemed to know a lot about you. yunho didn’t have the time to dissect the thought. 
yunho lifted his head up, yeosang and san already looking at him, at you, concern living in the crinkle between their eyebrows. yeosang stepped forward and yunho shook his head, knowing you’d be mortified in the morning if this became a bigger deal than it needed to be. 
“you ready to go home?” yunho tipped his chin upward in the direction of his two friends, keeping you tucked under his elbow in front of him. 
san and yeosang nodded silently, he watched as yeosang pecked jeongin goodbye, as san began walking away without another word to chan. for you, they’d do anything, they’d drop anything— it didn’t matter. 
“will you guys be okay getting home?” chan asked yunho, shoulders back, chin tilted up. 
“yeah, you?” yunho answered, already turning on his heel, barely giving chan time to respond. he needed you out of here, out of the crowd, he needed to get you air.
“tell her to call me when she feels better,” chan calls behind you, and san responds, but yunho barely hears him. 
the group of them shuffled through the crowd— why were they so deep in, anyways?— tucked under his left armpit, yunho was basically dragging you through the dirt. you were slumped into his side, mumbling something, feet barely carrying you. he debated putting you on his back. 
“what are you saying, tiny?” yeosang asked, just a step behind you, closer to your ear than yunho was. 
“my jacket,” you said a little louder, strain on your voice, “jisung has it.” a sob leaves your lips and yunho almost smiles, the fact that your jacket was the icing on the cake is so you. even completely done up you stayed unapologetically yourself. 
“should we call ace?” san asked from yunho’s other side, his eyebrows still knitted together. 
“what the hell is ace gonna do?” yunho replied, his tone curt, “let him have his weekend with reia, he doesn’t need to know. tiny will be fine.”
as you got to the outskirts of the crowd, yunho was bending down in front of you, his arms reaching behind him to hoist you onto his back. you were a deadweight, head slumped over his shoulder, arms limp around his neck. he carried you through the venue towards the main entrance without a word. 
you groaned when you finally reached the parking lot, followed by, “yun, i don’t feel good.” 
“ah, fuck,” he muttered under his breath, coming to a stop. “can you wait until we get home?” 
“put me down now,” you said hurriedly, fear apparent in your tone, and yunho bent down right away, standing back up when your sneakers hit the pavement. you crouched down, yeosang had caught it before yunho did— he stood behind you, your hair wrapped into a ponytail in yeosang’s fist as you emptied the contents of your stomach where yunho had just been standing. 
the four of you didn’t say another word until you were five minutes away from your house, the drive spent in silence— you’d spent it with your head halfway out the window, your sunglasses halfway down your nose, eyes shut. if it weren’t for the tears that streamed down your face every now and then, yunho would’ve assumed you were already knocked out.
“should i call him?” you asked the car, everyone already knew who, eyes still closed as you sat back in the cushioned seat. “i miss him, jisung was nothing like him. i wish he was there.”  
yunho was lucky you couldn’t see him— he physically winced at your drunken words. san eyed him from the passenger seat, but he paid his friend no mind. 
“we’ll talk about it tomorrow, teens,” yeosang said calmly from the backseat, sitting close to your side, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. yunho watched as you laid your head on him, you didn’t answer him— maybe you fell asleep. he hoped you did. 
san carried you inside your house bridal style and laid you on your unmade bed, but yeosang was the one who had dressed you for bed. it became his responsibility the few times he’s had to do it— an unspoken rule amongst you. 
after a hot shower, yunho decided to check on you once more before heading to the guest room for bed. you were sitting over the side of your bed, eyes closed, chugging water from the bottle he’d placed on your nightstand. he only peeked his head in, but you caught him. 
“yunho?” you asked weakly, your voice small. 
he cursed under his breath, but he inched forward, coming into view. he looked around, clothes were strewn about your floor, clothes hanging out of the hamper— he didn’t realize until then how upset you really were. “you okay, teens?” 
you mumbled a mhm then laid back on your sheets, head falling onto your pillows. you turned your head to look at him, eyes crescents, “why can’t i find anyone that’s good for me?”
yunho sighed and walked forward, sitting at the edge of your bed. “you will.” 
“kissing jisung didn’t make me feel any better about mingyu,” you paused, yunho didn’t know if you’d continue. your lip trembled, “he was good for me.” 
yunho pulled his lips into a line— as much as he hated hearing it, if that's how you felt, he wouldn’t argue with you anymore. “why don’t you try calling him tomorrow?”
you whined, then closed your eyes, pulling your duvet over your body, up to your neck. “i’m tired of being mad at you.” 
yunho smiles at that— “i’m sorry i made you mad at me.” 
“will you stay with me tonight?” 
yunho’s eyes shoot open, his lips parting, his mind running a mile a minute. “what?”
“please,” you opened your eyes a little wider, they were still glassy— he was scared you might cry again if he said no, not that he wanted to say no. 
he couldn’t ask why, he couldn’t ask any questions at all. as you pulled up the corner of your duvet, in his tee shirt, all he could muster was “okay.” 
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that was a lot, if ur still here i love u. tell me how u feel so i don't lose my mind pls
8fd masterlist | main masterlist
tags: @chimivx @emmxxsworld @alisonyus @livixcore @skzswife @dawn-iscozy @yusalterego @velvetring00 @minvxq @moonlightgrleric
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meear · 1 day ago
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umineko fans are the original "if you don't like it you just didn't understand it" people. I genuinely cannot think of anyone more annoying and obnoxious, except SNK fans, except not even them, because in Umineko's case that behavior is enabled by the author himself. It's crazy how a story that spent hundreds of hours discussing the value in several coexisting interpetations will have both characters and fans turning around and tell you that actually you're completely wrong for thinking a certain way
The crazy part is they don't even realise how their smug attitude about being part of R07's very special club of people who "have love" and the superior way they act about holding the true answer are EXACTLY the Erika traits they criticise in readers who don't think like them. "He spells it out but you still cannot see it? Lol" "are there still people who can't accept the literal canon answer? lmfao" "you know you're exactly the goats r07 wrote about right?" (Because r07 is a god who cannot possibly be contradicted, this is supposed to be the worst insult somehow) (these fans cannot seem to decide who the goats are an analogy for, considering they'll scramble to say they only represent the story's witch hunters as a criticism of true crime fans when you call out r07's arrogance, yet they'll smugly tell you you're just a goat when you question the story itself. Thank you, it's nice to know that Ryukishi wrote about me, but that doesn't answer the fucking question, Brian)
It's incredibly ironic. How did a story like Umineko create and encourage so many people to sanctify one "official answer" and taking any other attempt as an insult?? Like is anyone feeling how ryu07 completely fucked up at what he was trying to do?
"So I won't open the catbox and reveal what actually happened on the island." oh, that's cool, I actually really like that! I agree that ultimately the true events of that day are a pretty trivial part of the story, and it's way more interesting not to know - "anyway it's Rudolf and Kyrie and it happened exactly like so and so, and Shkanontrice did this and that".
... Okay, well I really wish that had remained a mystery forever, since the point was that any truth would've been anticlimatic, and the choice to reveal that genuinely kills a lot of what made Umineko's appeal to me, but I guess we can still have fun with EP1-4 and try several alternative theories for the sequence of events- "here's the manga explaining everything in detail and if you didn't get it have you tried maybe having some more love? It would be sooo clear if you had love lmfao. you literally cannot comprehend my work unless you have"
... I really wish that guy would stop making assumptions about the inner mind of complete strangers who read his work, but I do enjoy getting to choose an ending! it really fits in with Umineko's theme of choosing the truth for yourself and making your own path that you can be happy with, as long as you keep thinking- "the Magic ending is meant to be the true end btw. if you prefer the other one you pretty much have no heart lol, it's obviously framed like a bad ending and there's only one acceptable choice and one way ange can find happiness"
... man, I'm so bored. Why write a game like that and then make it so that some choices are better than others instead of letting people think for themselves? Why would you force an interpretation on people/Ange when I've been led to believe that the narrative was against that sort of things? You want to highlight the value in your vision of "magic", fine, but why am I the heartless bitch for disliking that perspective and even trying to see things differently?
Why would you write a whole game around the really fun concept of several tales happening at the same time and the existence of endless truths inside the same catbox only to open the catbox and tell me "NO, you need to think a certain way, and if you don't like my answer FUCK YOU"
I understand that maybe he just had a specific answer in mind but I'm sorry the way he write the ending simply does not match the vision he seemed to have in the earlier chapters.
I genuinely respect Umineko as a work, I think it's one of the most ambitious stories I've seen and there is some amazing writing in there, but if Ryukishi wanted to allow for people to keep thinking and discussing what it means, he has failed miserably and I'm not talking about confession of the golden witch, I'm talking about the way he and his minions have shut down any possible discussion under the guise of "you just don't get it" (rephrased to "you don't have love" to make it sound more enlightened) and it's soured my enjoyment of something that should've been an amazing story. What is even left to discuss here when everyone has pretty much already made up their mind?
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kittenfangirl20 · 20 hours ago
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Adam had his injuries looked at and he would have to be off for a couple weeks, but he was fit for fighting after that. He felt horrible for having to kill one of his friends especially when he had become so popular.
Angel: You are going to be staying at the General’s home while you heal.
Adam blushed hearing that. While this man led the fight that caused his wife to die, Lucifer didn’t kill her and the fight wasn’t his choice. In fact he had been so kind to Adam and in some ways he reminded Adam of Eve.
Angel: Everyone noticed how you look at the General. I bet if you asked him to take you to his bed, he would.
Adam knew that was what he wanted. Lucifer walked over to Adam at the infirmary.
Lucifer: You can choose to sleep in any room in my home, which one would you like?
Adam: Your room, with you.
Lucifer smiled and pressed his forehead against Adam’s forehead.
Lucifer: Of course and I will bring you dinner. I will have Abel brought over because he was worried about you, he loves you so much.
It made him think of himself and Charlotte, they were so close to each other. Adam was set up in Lucifer’s room relaxing. Lucifer arrived with a plate that cheese, meat, olives, and a couple eggs. Abel and Charlotte were there holding hands. Adam smiled seeing Charlotte looked more like Lucifer than Lilith.
Charlotte: I present to you a tribute for winning the battle today.
It was a necklace with both the crest of Charlotte and Lucifer. Lucifer took it and put it around Adam’s neck. Abel crawled into the bed with Adam and Charlotte sat in Lucifer’s lap and while Lucifer hand fed Adam the dinner. They even enjoyed some cheesecake made for Charlotte’s birthday.
Abel: The really nice and pretty older lady said she was my grandmother, is it true?
Adam: Yes, she is the Princess of all of Rome. But yes, she is my mother which makes you her grandson.
Charlotte: Does that mean you are the real Emperor of Rome?
Lucifer: Yes, but you can’t say that to anyone especially not your mother. Soon Adam will be Emperor and both you and Abel will be the Princess and Prince of Rome.
Adam nodded, it wasn’t her fault that Lilith was her mother. In fact it felt like they were all a family now. Both Charlotte and Abel were confused they were taken to another room. When they were alone Lucifer crawled into the bed with Adam.
Adam: When I am Emperor, I am making you mine and mine alone.
Lucifer knew what that meant, he wasn’t just going to be the Emperor’s lover like he was Lilith’s lover. He was going to be the Emperor’s husband and consort, he would become a Prince of Rome. Their lips met to kiss again.
Lucifer: I want that more than anything, I love you.
Adam: I love you too, make love to me.
Lucifer: Are you sure? Do you want this?
Adam: Yes.
They kissed as they undressed each other. Lucifer had to be careful to not touch Adam’s injuries. They couldn’t stop kissing each other while Lucifer found a little jar of olive oil to prep Adam.
Adam: This is my first time with a man.
Lucifer: I will be very gentle my love.
He covered dick with the olive oil to make it easier to go inside of Adam. He was going to make this experience so good for Adam that he won’t want anyone else, Adam would be his and his alone.
Lucifer: Tell me when you are ready.
Adam: I want you now.
Lucifer slid into Adam and Adam’s eyes became dilated when Lucifer’s dick found Adam’s prostate. Adam’s body started to tremble with pleasure, he never felt anything so good in his life.
Adam: More…. I want more…..
Lucifer thrust deep and lovingly into Adam. Both knew at that moment that they were meant for each other.
@things-arent-what-they-seem66
(Gladiator AU)
Sera didn’t want to do this, but she had to. There was unrest in Rome and she had to get her precious son, Adam out of Rome. The Emperor had been overthrown and they would go after Adam since he was meant to be the next Emperor and he was only ten years old.
Sera: I am so sorry Adam, this is the only way.
Adam: I understand mother, I love you.
Sera: I love you too.
She got Adam on the ship and it sailed away, she just had to hope that she would see him again someday.
16 years later……
Adam was getting ready for battle with his wife Eve. That dressed in armor while their son Abel was asleep.
Eve: We will fight to the end my love.
Adam: Of course.
They kissed and went to fight, but it was a Roman legion led by Lucifer, a celebrated general of Rome. Eve was sadly killed by an arrow in the neck. Adam was taken prisoner and taken to Rome. He didn’t know Abel was taken too. While Adam was taken to be registered as a gladiator and have his hair cut very short, Abel was seen by Lucifer who took him.
Lucifer: I didn’t like having to fight people who didn’t do anything against Rome, but a child being a slave is awful. I will make you the companion of the Princess.
Lucifer was made to be the lover of the cruel Empress of Rome Lilith. Her family took over when they overthrew Sera’s father sixteen years ago. Lilith had a child with Lilith who was Charlotte the Princess of Rome, the only good thing about being her lover. Charlotte saw Lucifer and ran to him.
Charlotte: Father, you have returned.
Lucifer: Yes and I brought a friend.
Poor Abel was crying for his mother being dead and not knowing where his father was.
Adam tried to hold back tears for his late wife and his son that he didn't know the fate of. He would likely die if he wasn't found or enslaved if he was.
He was forced to wear the armor of the gladiator for the Roman Empire. He was given a sword and shield.
Adam was forced into an area with the others who survived to be forced into being gladiators as well. There were whispers that they would be trained for the generals standards.
Adam scoffed, he didn't care about some general, all he cared for was gone now.
Lucifer stood ready to see how much work needed to go into the new gladiators.
Adam entered the arena, he was tired, angry, and felt like he didn't want to be fucked with. But here he is being forced to fight like it's entertaining. He didn't know the other man he had to fight, but he didn't care. If it was him or Adam, Adam wasn't going to lose twice.
Lucifer: Now who is that?
He watched the brunette fight in such a mesmerizing way. It wasn't everyday someone caught his eye.
He had to meet him if he lived.
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transxfiles · 1 year ago
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im yearning again not even for someone in particular just like in general . FUCK !
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philautia-agape · 5 months ago
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She veemo on my woomy til I splatoon
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#splatoon#ive been sitting on this ask for months#partially because 'how dare you send me an ask thats funnier than anything i post'#which is technically true in the sense that i never make any original posts ever. i just reblog other people's stuff#which really begs the question like. Why was this ask sent to me instead of one of the splatoon fanartist i reblog stuff from#was anon worried about making a sex joke to one of the splatoon microcelebrities here on tumblr so they sent this to me; a total nobody?#is anon one of those splatoon fanartists who noticed my reblogs; went thru my blog -#and used this ask as a way to gauge how much friend material i am#just the other day i had a talk with a friend over whether id recognize them on anon. is this from that friend??#my initial assumption was that anon sent this so id reply to it somehow or at least post it. but why. i basically dont have followers#im not one of those tumblr users with hundreds of followers whos known to be funny. What audience do you think your ask would get to anon?#anyway i have a minor crisis every time i look at this ask on my inbox#but this time it led to me deciding to finally post this ask. That thing I said about never making original posts?#well maybe its time to change that#i wont but its nice to think of the idea#sometimes i have original post ideas but then i dont want to post them because nobody would see it#i always want to save it for some hypothetical future where i have tons of followers who will see my posts#and yet one has to think. i will never get followers if i dont post#im still not gonna post tho. tumblr is something i look at for fun im not putting effort into this thing
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seaofreverie · 7 months ago
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Delivery day!!!!!!!
#my comic and zine and wooden pin arrived from the uk#i would be so powerful if i could get stuff like this from the us too. but alas customs and fees not going through that again#but yeah i was just thinking yesterday about how it's been a while since i ordered them. so yay!#they already look sooooo cool can't wait to read them#when you get a personalised note from the seller along with the order 💗💗 ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )#plus there's just something so nice about having something from smaller artists. feels personal and sort of unique!#because it really is both of those things when you think about it#all of the mini-comics and zines i own now i have acquired over the past couple of months#still getting used to the fact that 1) i'm an adult 2) i have some money of my own that i got from freelancing for a while#and can therefore buy whatever stuff i want if i wish so really#but speaking of zines its even cooler when one of them has your own art in it!!!!!#this is such a huge thing really. if there's one thing that made studying at this other university for one semester worth it in the end#it's the long trail of events that led to me learning about this project and then actually deciding to participate!! and getting accepted!!#anyway. my piece is a short comic based on the lyrics of eaten of the monster of love and it's my favourite thing i've ever made possibly#ok sorry for the ramble. my point is.#yayyyy getting a delivery and yayyyyy surrounding yourself with things you like and that inspire you. so cool#goosepost
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yooniesim · 1 year ago
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Girl... I aint reading all that
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#ceci speaks#nonsims#text#negative#gif warning#keep crying stalker#refresh my tab and go write another nonsensical rant just like i said u would lmfao#or finally get over it girl cos no one cares#glad i got u hella mad and ranting at nothing... as usual#thats how stupid and easily led you are#good luck with that school u got going on...#ppl pls dont send me anything else from this stalker theres nothing they have to say thats valuable or the slightest bit intelligent#delete later#also dont say ur lowkey sorry to me when ur on my dick 24/7#obsessed and thinking racism only exists for you personally#cos you cant handle anyone disagreeing with you#cos if u really thought i was racist u wouldnt have been liking my cc posts#and dming me apologies for getting me hate up until a few months ago when i blocked u#ur ego got hurt when i blocked u and that is the ONLY reason u rant about me every other business day#same thing with all your weird friends that were nice in my dms and sticking around in my server until a few months ago#now all of a sudden im a vile coon that they never liked to begin with#only AFTER I blocked yall after catching yall talking shit out the other side ur mouth and not to my face#youre cowards plain and simple just trying to act tough and hard and morally right#when in the end you just look fucking goofy#for swearing i was antiblack whilst being buddy buddy with me#what does that make yall then?#birds of a feather and all that right#you just dont know how to not like someone without trying to villainize them and that is cowardice#otherwise you wouldnt ONLY call someone problematic after they blocked or personally offended you
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theriverdalereviewer · 2 years ago
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surely one of you has read nineteen minutes by jodi picoult... as usual I have THOUGHTS
#the lesson of this book has not aged well#now let me break it down quickly#but major tw if you ever consider reading nineteen minutes its a book with two teenage protagonists but it was written for a mature audience#the book deals with bullying gun violence and abuse and it does depict them quite graphically#so yeah I absolutely would not pick up this book if youre sensitive to that#but anyways the story is about a shooting that happens at a high school and then takes you back to the events that led up to it#as well as the aftermath#and I feel like the idea of Peter's has aged quite poorly#like the book was written in 2007 so the narrative that shooters are the bullied lonely kids who are getting revenge#was very popular in our society but in the year 2023 I think we are (very) slowly realizing that these kids weren’t unpopular nerds#majority of them are incels living in a country that makes it very easy for them to kill people with guns#and the book reallyyyyy misses this mark#like they portray Peter as this kid that was bullied for being sensitive and not a masculine tough guy like the rest of the boys#and its true boys who get bullied generally are bullied for not conforming to masculinity#BUTTT these boys aren’t the ones who go and kill people#its the ones who have deeply entrenched hatred for women and minorities and also happen to be able to use weapons#so yeah if the text was just about a kid who was being bullied and how traumatizing that is then yeah I think it would’ve nailed it#butttt when you try to convince us that this is the profile of a shooter you start to lose#also not nearly enough about gun control was discussed#like the book sends the message that if we’re all nice to each other bad things won’t happen ummmm yeah#but also even if we were all mean to each other we could minimize the amount of casualties by have stricter access to guns#like what people in other countries don’t have mean kids this is a uniquely american problem#anyways these are my grievances
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celestrials · 2 years ago
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I will never ever forget or forgive ppl for asking me if I was ever even a furry when they thought that my bf and I were breaking up. That shit was so fucked bc like???? Lmao like yea haha I totally created a fursona and spent hundreds of dollars in commissions in the last couple of years for pretend! It was all a facade! I was only pretending so my bf could like me more! You got me! Hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahshahhahahahah🤪🤪🤪
#that shit was so fucked#so many ppl really revealed their tru colors when they thought things were over between us#like I’ve always had my suspicions before but to have them become real was…#also it’s been like idk so months since then like so much time has passed and only like 1 person actually reached out to see how I was doin#that shit sucks sm#like I kno I’m the bad guy in this situation and what I did was super fucked up but like…#idk if you were actually my friend and cared about me and loved me wouldn’t you have at least reached out to be like wtf#and like questioning me or like asking if I’m ok or like telling me what I did was wrong#or like actually telling me your cutting me off#in person or thru text or idk#anything!#anything would have been nice but it’s been radio silence since then#I have not spoken to anyone! except like 3 ppl. and we barely talk at all#but two of those ppl aren’t really a part of the one big group I’m referring to#idk it’s a little fucked#like if someone I loved and cared about did something horrible like idk#I would still talk to them! just to ask what they were thinking they led them to do what they did#bc I still care about them! and I want what’s best for them and idk I still love them#even if it’s unforgivable I would still like to hear why they did it at least#and then cut my ties afterwards if I decide to but i would let them kno#it’s just fucked up bc I didn’t even get any of that from anyone#and I feel like somehow that’s worse#idk it just really makes me not want to continue or even try to repair whatever relationship I had with everyone#I’m just so alone now and like#it’s just so so so depressing#like I really have no one#well I have some ppl but it’s like literally 3 and idk that’s ok but like I wish i had the other ppl I really really loved too#idk it’s hard to stay happy when I spend so much time alone now I miss driving late at night listening to music with friends so much#I do it alone now and I just breakdown#or I try to do it with someone else and it still makes me sad bc the ppl I loved doing it with are ppl I can’t do it with anymore
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gumii-bearr · 3 days ago
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❝ not even a little ❞
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summary: megumi fushiguro is your roommate, he's also a scary guy... a scary guy that's weak for you.
featuring... megumi fushiguro
content warning: MDNI (18+), afab!reader, roommate!megumi, college!au, angst, fluff!!, alcohol, vomiting (from being so drunk), mentions of weed, hangovers, reader cries a few times, slow burn ish, these two are pissing me off, smut, dirty talk, cunnilingus, blowjobs, handjobs, fingering, cum eating, virginity loss (?), mentions of a cheating ex (there is Hana slander im sorry), emotionally stunted megumi, swearing, megumi is so bad at feelings oh my god, ozawa x yuji mentions
word count: 13.8k
author's note: MEOW– guys i been working hard on this FUCKER!
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You’re pretty sure he hates you.
Your new roommate, that is. 
“Fushiguro, right?” You led with friendliness, hoping to win him over with your charming personality and half the share of the rent. But he was beyond intimidating, standing at the front door, eyes slanted and harsh with boredom. His hair was messy but it almost seemed intentional with how much it complimented and framed his angular face.
He was gorgeous.
Yuko had neglected to tell you just how attractive your new roommate would be when she sent you the address the day before. Though, it made sense that she wouldn’t notice since she’s dating Itadori, not his old roommate.
He looked you up and down as you stood at his front door, a nervous smile twinging at your lips as an awkward tension consumed you. Though he didn’t seem overly bothered by the awkwardness, simply humming in acknowledgement of his name before standing aside to let you into his apartment.
It was nice; very organised for a guy, you thought. He wordlessly led you to your new room, which was Yuji’s old room, and gave you the rundown of the rent and utilities while you tried to not melt at the deep smoothness of his voice.
What the hell had you gotten yourself into?
“You didn’t tell me he was hot, Ozawa,” you grumble as you tighten the group head into the coffee machine. It’s quiet in the cafe that day, just you and Yuko behind the counter trying to shake off your lack of sleep with iced coffees and fries from the stainless steel bowl sitting at the kitchen window. The line chef doesn’t care that you’re stealing the fries, too busy scrolling on his phone and attempting to blink away his hangover.
Yuko takes a sip of her coffee, her brows knit in confusion, “who?”
“Fushiguro,” you clarify, pressing buttons on the coffee machine.
Yuko was your friend from high school and she was the one that hooked you up with the apartment. All she told you was that he was Yuji’s best friend and old roommate before she and Yuji moved in together. She told you he was in his second year of college, he needed help with the rent and that he was a nice guy.
“You told me he was nice, too.”
“Fushiguro is nice,” Yuko retorts, restocking the paper cups next to the coffee machine.
You give her a look, “nice my ass.”
“You just said he was hot!” she laughs at that, nudging your shoulder playfully.
“You can be hot and mean at the same time, they’re not mutually exclusive.”
“Mm,” she hums, “sounds like your type.”
“Rude,” you mutter.
The bell above the door dings, your eyes peeking over the coffee machine to spot Yuji walking in with a wide smile, “hi baby!”
Yuko grins, “Hey, Yuji.” She leans over the counter, allowing Yuji to press a kiss against her cheek with a loud muah!
“What’s up?” Yuji asks curiously, letting his chin rest in his own palm.
“Y/N was just telling me about her first night in her new place,” Yuko replies.
“Ooh!” Yuji sings.
“She said he’s hot,” Yuko giggles.
A big smile spills across Yuji’s face and he teasingly wiggles his brows, “you got a crush?”
“No,” you say defensively. “I don’t even know him.”
“You can crush on someone and not know them,” Yuji shrugs.
“I don’t think you can.”
Yuji tuts, “ah-ah! Jennifer Lawrence, I don’t know her, but I have a crush on her.”
You look to Yuko, “you gonna let him say that?”
Yuko shrugs sheepishly, “I have a crush on her too so I think it’s okay.”
Yuji points at her, “see?”
You just playfully roll your eyes, “but seriously… What's the secret? Cus I think he already wants me to move out.”
“Fushiguro just takes time to warm up to people,” Yuji explains. “Just give it time.”
You wonder how long it’ll take for him to warm up to you. You’re a friendly person and you’re pretty bubbly but he just intimidates the hell out of you. But his apartment was way nicer than any of the other apartments near campus. And bonus points because the rent was rather cheap compared to other places you’d seen. So you can’t screw this up.
But again, you’re pretty sure he hated you.
He was always grumbling around and seemed to get annoyed when you would put the dishes away in the wrong spots (though he never outright told you this). And he seemed to get annoyed when you were in a shared space, either sitting down on the floor in front of the TV to study or at the kitchen counter with your textbooks strewn about. 
But no way in hell were you going to poke the bear and ask him if he hated you.
Because Megumi Fushiguro was a scary guy.
You think you’ve screwed yourself when Megumi makes a bee-line for you a few weeks later.
You’re sitting at your desk in your room with the door slightly open. You’re focused on the essay you’re trying to edit but it’s hard to ignore the dark and brooding cloud that is Megumi Fushiguro.
“You touch my shit?” He asks. It doesn’t sound mean or accusing but just the depth of his voice alone makes you nervous.
“Huh?” You squeak out, eyes shifting nervously.
“My clothes,” he holds out a folded shirt for emphasis, his other hand holding your door frame (and jesus christ his muscles look so good).
Fuck.
You gulp, “u-uh, yeah, I did. I needed more darks so I just… used some of yours…”
Megumi just stares at you, steely eyes narrow and harsh.
You smile sheepishly, though it’s not really a smile, more of a nervous twitch in your lips, “I’m sorry–”
“Just,” Megumi starts before he sighs, “don’t touch my shit.”
You nod quickly, “right. I’m sorry.”
It’s funny. 
You’ve only been here for a few weeks and Megumi is growing more and more frustrated by you. 
How you always manage to be there when he’s trying to use the shower or the kitchen or do his laundry. He realises the irony given you’re his fucking roommate but he can’t cope with this shit.
He finds himself staring when you walk around in tiny shorts and tight tank tops. Or when you slink down the hallway wrapped in a towel like he can’t see you. Or when you stretch your arms above your head while you’re studying, your shirt riding up and giving him the perfect view of your tummy–
Megumi stands outside the bathroom door, towel and a change of clothes in hand. 
He knew girls took a while in the shower but this? You’d been in there for around fifteen minutes, the shower running and your music playing softly from inside. Megumi and Yuji used to function fine with one bathroom between the two of them, but sharing with you, a girl, proved to be a little different.
“M’so sorry,” you squeak as you pull the door open, your hair wet and combed back, your face free of your usual makeup. 
“S’fine,” Megumi murmurs. 
You quickly duck your head and slink away and Megumi just fucking stares. His breath gets caught in his throat at the sight of your towel pulled tight around your body, giving him a perfect view of the outline of your ass. His eyes raked over your bare shoulders and he almost felt dizzy at the lingering smell of your strawberry scented shampoo.
Megumi coughed into his fist, feeling a certain stiffness in his pants making itself known. It’d been a while since he got laid so he’d just deal with it using a cold shower and thinking about violent video games or something.
You’re finding you have the same problem.
You feel your face flush when he comes home from the gym in compression shirts and sweatpants, an earbud stuck in his ear and his skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat. And you just sit there in the living room gawking like an idiot as he mumbles an annoyed ‘hey’ then proceeds to ignore you the rest of the night.
He’s caught you staring a few times, especially when you’re waiting for him to get out of the shower so you can use the bathroom and he emerges wrapped in nothing but a towel, his hair dripping water down his pale chest.
And you totally check him out before slapping a hand over your eyes, cheeks flushed as you squeak out an embarrassed, “sorry!”
He just rolls his eyes with a huff and disappears into his room, leaving you to bang your head against the wall because you’re so dumb.
Yuji was right, you do have a crush.
It’s truly a tragic predicament because he seems to have no interest in you. He barely acknowledges you, humming when you greet him and brushing past you when you’re using a shared space at the same time. It’s almost as if he’s actively avoiding you.
“I made you a coffee,” you’re trying to break the ice somehow because Megumi is so unbelievably unreadable that it hurts.
Megumi looks at you, half-lidded eyes tired and bored as he studies your nervous expression. You place the mug of hot coffee on the counter next to his set up of textbooks, notebooks, pens and his laptop.
You fiddle with your hands, “it’s just coffee and milk, I didn’t know if you wanted sugar–”
“Thanks,” he simply says, nodding with a tight-lipped smile before sticking his earbud back in his ear.
You stand there dumbfounded for a moment before you awkwardly shuffle off to your room. Completely missing how Megumi watches you leave.
Once midterms roll around, Megumi disappears off the face of the earth. You don’t see him for weeks because he’s either cooped up in his room or he stays late on campus and you hear him get home at stupid hours of the night.
The next time you see him is at a party.
The frat house you’re at is packed with college students all at varying stages of drunkenness. You’ve maybe had half a drink, deciding to hide away in the kitchen and people-watch. Yuji and Yuko convinced you to come along since midterms were over and the stress swallowing the entire college campus had seemed to somewhat dissipate. 
One party wouldn’t hurt. 
“Yooo! Y/N you made it!” Yuji exclaims, an arm thrown around Yuko’s shoulders, the two of them clutching red plastic cups full of some mysteriously coloured alcohol. 
“Yeah, I thought I’d try and make some friends,” you reply as Yuko hands you a drink.
“Damn, then what are we?” Yuji’s teases, gesturing between himself and Yuko.
You roll your eyes playfully, “more friends, Itadori,” you clarify.
Yuji was a guy that was easy to get along with, always making friends no matter where he went. You became fast friends with Yuji after he and Yuko started dating since you were instrumental in convincing Yuko to give her number to him way back when.
“You and Fushiguro friends yet?” Yuko asked curiously, slightly yelling over the music.
You grit your teeth, “don’t think so. I put the dishes away wrong once and I think he’s hated me ever since.”
Yuji blows a raspberry, “yeah right, you should try and talk to him tonight, maybe hit on him, hm?” Yuji wiggles his eyebrows at you. 
“Why tonight?” You ask curiously.
“Cus he looks lonely,” Yuji points to the other end of the room.
You follow his finger and spot that familiar mop of messy black hair rather quickly. He’s leaning against the wall cradling a drink and damn he looks good in the black shirt he’s wearing, allowing you to totally check out and gawk at his lean muscular arms. He looks beyond bored, his steely blue eyes scanning the crowd with complete disinterest.
You didn’t even know he was coming to this thing and now you’re suddenly motivated to stay.
You gulp down the lump in your throat before squeezing the plastic cup of whatever the fuck in your hand. You lift it to your lips and chuck it back, the bitter alcohol burning your throat on the way down. 
“Atta girl!” Yuji exclaims, “go get your man!”
“You’re for the girls, you know that, Yuji?” You grin.
“I’ve been told,” he beams happily. 
You take Yuko’s drink off her and quickly throw hers back too, needing some liquid courage to get you over there because at least if you say something stupid, you can blame it on the alcohol. 
“Okay, maybe don’t overdo it,” Yuko pats your shoulder.
You take in a breath before nodding and squeezing past your friends, making your way toward your roommate. You didn’t even know he would be at this party, that’s how little you talk to one another. Yet you find yourself getting nervous and stupid around him. 
You’re barely five meters away from him when you stop dead in your tracks.
A blonde girl approaches Megumi, her shoulder bumping his as she leans against the wall next to him. He eyes her before taking a sip of his drink. You don’t hear what she says but he seems vaguely amused by it and you find yourself almost jealous that some random girl managed to get more emotion out of Megumi in the last two seconds than you have in the past two months.
Your heart thumps in your chest and you suddenly feel small and ridiculous. You clear your throat and quickly spin on your heel, heart thumping in your ears as you pick up another drink of whatever crazy jungle juice they’re serving at this frat party and chuck it back. 
He doesn’t even know it and he just crushed your spirit. 
“Uh oh,” Yuji grits his teeth.
“Why’s she coming back?” Yuko asks Yuji.
“I’m going to stand on a highway,” you grin maniacally. Yuko and Yuji peer behind you and spot the same blonde girl talking to Megumi, only this time she’s turned toward him, giving him her undivided attention as she yaps on about something. Megumi still seems vaguely uninterested but he nods along slowly.
“Yikes,” Yuji cringes, “not him talking to his ex.”
“Ex?” you squeak out.
Yuko nudges Yuji’s shoulder, giving him a ‘what the fuck, bro?’ look. Yuji quickly stammers, “I-I mean, they’ve been broken up for like two years, there’s nothing there.”
You don’t believe him for a second because it certainly didn’t look like nothing. You peek back over your shoulder and watch as Megumi chugs the rest of his drink and leaves, the blonde girl trailing behind him. Great, they’re gonna go have sex and you’re stuck having a crush on your roommate who will probably kick you out when he gets back with her. 
Great.
Great.
You turn back to Yuji and Yuko with a wide-eyed nervous smile.
Yuji grits his teeth, “you okay, Y/N?”
You squeak, “mhm, so good!”
Yuko and Yuji share a look with each other before Yuko sighs, “he’s not worth it anyway, you’re a catch, if he can’t see it then he’s stupid.”
You know she’s trying to make you feel better and you’re a relatively confident person, but when you start to crush on someone and they don’t offer any kind of reciprocation for your feelings, you start to feel a little… not so confident. 
Yuko and Yuji try to make you feel better, introducing you to their other friend Nobara who is much more aggressive in her pep talk.
“You’re a hot, sexy mama!” Nobara shakes your shoulders, her speech slurred slightly. “Who cares about that emo hoe anyway!”
You want to laugh but she honestly kind of scares you.
“You gotta get laid by some other guy! A hot guy!” Nobara hiccups, taking another swig from her cup. “Maybe fuck your ex or something! Or, or, or! Fuck one of Fushiguro’s classmates!”
“Uh, I don’t think losing my virginity at a party is exactly ideal,” you reply.
Nobara’s eyes bulge out of her head, “you’re a virgin!?” She says it so loud that a few heads turn and you shush her quickly.
“Tell the whole campus why don’t you?” You scold in a hushed tone.
“You’re hot though, babe,” she hiccups again. “You could pull anyone!”
“Funny.”
“I’m serious!”
You let loose after that, deciding to drink and do shots to avoid thinking about Megumi as if you don’t keep looking for him all night. You’re always peeking over your shoulder, searching for him in the crowd and flat out ignoring the guys Nobara and Yuko attempt to introduce you to. 
You’re not interested in the pre-med students or the business students or whatever the fuck.
You’re more interested in the tall, lean, handsome vet student who happens to be your roommate and who you haven’t seen all night.
After many more rounds of shots, a game of beer pong and poorly deciding to bet Yuji you could drink him under the table; you’re so drunk. You stumble around the party, hanging off Yuji, Nobara and Yuko since they are clearly equally as drunk as you with how they encourage your behaviour. 
Your head is fucking spinning and you feel like you’re going to be sick.
You stumble around the house, clutching the wall and stair bannister as you attempt to find the bathroom. You open a few random doors, spotting people making out, some other people fighting before you finally find the bathroom, bile rising in your throat and your vision going fuzzy. You find a bunch of people smoking what smells like weed in the bathroom, the smell hitting you in the face like a brick wall. 
They all start yelling at you to shut the door and you quickly slam it shut before you stumble back down the stairs, racing to the back door as you feel the vomit start to claw up your throat. You shove the door open, the outside air freezing cold and nipping at your hot skin. 
You half crawl toward the back fence, your stupid heels betraying you as you pathetically fall to your knees and throw your guts up in the garden.
Your brain is on fire and your stomach aches as you throw up all the alcohol in your system. You really shouldn’t have been mixing your alcohols, but Nobara was so convincing and Megumi had just stomped on your heart.
You suddenly feel two cold hands against your head, brushing over your ears as they pull your hair into a makeshift ponytail, holding it out of your face as you throw up. You’re thankful to whatever stranger is helping you out right now because you feel awful.
Tears prick at your eyes, a mix of tears and mascara running down your face because you really fucking hate throwing up and you really hate Megumi Fushiguro right now.
“You okay?” The man’s voice is distant and a little fuzzy.
You wave him off, “m’fine.”
“You’re crying,” he says softly, listening as you sniffle and wipe your tears away with the ball of your palm. There’s a pause, the man still holding your hair back, “why’re you crying?”
You shrug, “cus I’m sick and I’m s’drunk and some stoners yelled at me and roommate is an ass.”
He hums, “what’d he do? …Your roommate?”
“Nothing,” you whine with a soft sniffle.
“Nothing?” He repeats, his voice sounding slightly amused.
“Nothing,” you say again, “that’s the problem.”
There’s a pause. “Why’s that a problem?”
You groan quietly, “why’re you grillin’ me? I’m s’drunk.”
He chuckles softly, “right, sorry.”
You don’t even know this guy and you immediately start rambling, “my friends helped me find a roommate and everyone neglected to tell me he ws’ hot! And I’m tryin’ to get him to like, notice me, but he’s so mean and I’m like ninety-nine percent sure he hates me. Then he was with his ex at this party right before I ws’ gonna go talk to him! Can you believe that?”
“Wow, he is an ass,” the man says matter-of-factly, validating your feelings.
“Thank you,” you slur before you feel your tummy do a flip and you’re throwing up in the garden again. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, smearing your lipgloss messily. You sniffle again, “m’sorry stranger.”
“S’okay,” he rubs your shoulder, still holding your hair back.
You wake up the next morning with the most vicious headache. 
You roll over with a groan, your head pounding and your mouth tasting of acid and whatever the hell was in that jungle juice last night. You press your face into your pillow and groan softly, your entire body feeling like shit. After a few painful seconds, you pry your eyes open, your vision fuzzy and your eyes sore. 
You’re in your bed.
Now how the fuck did you get here?
You sit up slowly, your head pounding and spinning with a wonderfully terrible hangover. You spot your shoes on the floor of your room, neatly sitting next to your desk along with your folded jacket. You half remember someone taking you home, maybe it was Yuji? Fuck, you better thank him.
You take your phone off your side table (which was miraculously put on charge last night) and search for Yuko’s number, you press her name and the phone rings a few times before she answers.
“H-Hello?” Yuko groans, her voice saturated with exhaustion.
“Are you as lucid as I am?” You cringe, rubbing your eyes with the ball of your palm.
You hear Yuko muffle a groan into her pillow, clearly as insanely hungover as you, “we got so drunk.”
“Is Itadori okay?” you ask with a wince.
“He’s throwing up in the shower right now,” she replies.
“That’s rough,” you want to laugh but it hurts too much.
“Well he did crash the beer pong and drank half a bottle of midori so,” she trails off.
“Can you tell him thanks for taking me home?” you sigh.
Yuko pauses, “Yuji didn’t take you home.”
Huh?
“What?” you sit up in bed.
“Babe, Yuji was so drunk he tried to pet a rat in the street, he did not take you home,” she says.
You pinch the bridge of your nose. “Then who did?”
“Y/N… Fushiguro took you home.”
What?
Megumi nurses a drink in his hand as he watches you from across the room. He can’t help the way his chest tightens as he hears you laugh at something Yuji says, your nose scrunching cutely as you let out a bubbly laugh. 
He also can’t help the way his eyes drift down your body, thinking you look cute with your hair done like that. You’re usually wearing baggy sweaters and shorts around the house, he’s never seen this outfit before and he really likes it.
He thinks you look pretty. You always look pretty but this outfit in particular has him short-circuiting like a teenager. 
He thinks back to when he got unnecessarily mad at you over washing his clothes and how he’ll never fucking admit it but they smelled so good. He’s not sure what the hell you used to wash them but they smelled amazing, they smelled like you.
Megumi has to tear his eyes away when his gaze drops to your cute little ass in that mini skirt. He feels like a perv. He lives with you for god sake, he can’t be thinking such things about his roommate. Not when he has to live with you for the next few years. 
Megumi takes a long swig of his drink, attempting to stifle the thoughts with terrible tasting alcohol and pure willpower. 
“Didn’t think I’d ever see Megumi Fushiguro at a party.”
Megumi has to stop himself from rolling his eyes when he hears her voice. 
Hana leans against the wall beside him with a sly grin on her face, her shoulder bumping his. He knows she’s doing it just to annoy him, of course she is. 
“Why’re you talking to me?” Megumi grumbles out, refusing to give her the satisfaction of eye contact as he sips on his drink because he’s gonna need alcohol or a fucking hammer to the head to get him through this interaction.
“Can’t say hi to my ex-boyfriend?” She teases, leaning her head toward him.
Megumi rolls his eyes for real this time, “you’ve said hi.”
“Oh, boo, you’re so not fun,” Hana playfully shoves his shoulder.
Megumi lets out a huffed fake laugh, “I’m really torn up about it.”
Hana talks to him about some random bullshit and Megumi isn’t even listening because he knows she’s drunk and she would be stupid to approach him sober. His eyes are instead glued to you, feeling himself get slightly jealous when Yuji puts a hand on your back to lead to toward the kitchen–
“–and you’re still mad,” Hana slurs. Megumi didn’t hear a word she said up until now.
Megumi side-eyes her, feeling rather annoyed by her incessant nagging, “you done?”
Hana rolls her eyes, “I’m just saying you could at least have a civil conversation.”
Megumi feels his eye twitch, “I think you lose civil-conversation privileges when you– I don’t know– lie and cheat?”
Hana scoffs and Megumi decides he doesn’t want to listen to her bullshit anymore and promptly walks off, shoving his hands in his pockets as he attempts to lose Hana in the crowd. She follows him around like some stupid puppy for a while before growing bored, probably going off to annoy some other poor sucker.
She also seems to lose interest when she notices Megumi simply doesn’t care anymore. She does this sometimes, drunkenly messaging him every few months only for him to promptly block her account without a word. He’s starting to think she’s the one that won’t move on.
Megumi sighs when he steps outside into the backyard, sitting down on the edge of the porch and deciding to look busy by scrolling on his phone. It’s quieter outside, the backyard mostly empty apart from a few people smoking cigarettes and vaping by the back fence.
Megumi Fushiguro is lonely.
Lonely in the sense that after Hana, he became decidedly more stoic and standoffish. She was his first serious girlfriend and he was stupid and naive for so long before Yuji and Nobara pointed out the rather obvious red flags that Megumi was painfully unaware of.
Because he was young and she was a little older, so she had to know better, right?
Maybe he really was too clingy and maybe he really did need to stop asking to hang out all the time. He felt utterly stupid when he found out she was cheating on him. It made sense, he was too clingy, too needy, too much.
Megumi reverted back in on himself for a long time, becoming sad and angry before he just stopped giving a shit.
He did a lot to forget about the anger and pain he felt from Hana.
He slept around to forget about her, becoming reserved and aloof over time. He eventually did get over it because why the fuck was it his fault that she cheated on him?
But the things she made him feel about himself lingered. 
Made him wonder if he really was too needy and clingy to be a good boyfriend. Maybe he wasn’t respectful enough of a person’s space and he needed to stop trying so hard. 
He didn’t go on dates much, everyone always thought he was too mean or rude to ever ask a girl on a date. Sure he slept with girls but they were quick to leave right after with a “yeah, yeah… I can call you if you want?”
If you want.
He just felt embarrassed, letting them gather their clothes and leave his apartment or usher him out of theirs while half-assed promising to text him later. Megumi didn’t know who was using who at that point.
Megumi is shaken from his thoughts when a body almost falls into him. He goes to argue with whoever the fuck can’t watch their step when he sees you.
Your shoes half fall off as you crawl toward the back fence to hurl up everything in your stomach. Megumi quickly slips his phone in his pocket and strides across the lawn toward you. 
You’re totally out of it.
Megumi pulls your hair out of your face as you vomit, tears slipping down your cheeks. Your skirt is riding up and your top is pulled low on your chest. 
“You okay?” Megumi asks softly, maybe one of the very few things he’s ever said to you. He gently adjusts your top, pulling the strap back onto your shoulder and pulling it up a little to cover the lacy material of your bra. You obviously don’t realise you’re compromising yourself and he adjusts himself behind you to cover your skirt as it rides up your thighs.
There are guys who are nudging each other and pointing at you and Megumi’s gaze hardens on them, suddenly feeling agitated.
“M’fine,” you mumble out with a soft sniffle.
Megumi’s heart melts, “why’re you crying?”
You proceed to sniffle and pout while you tell him all about how your roommate is an ass… without realising you’re talking to your roommate.
He thinks it’s cute, finding you so adorably amusing with how animatedly you speak despite being rather drunk and sick. He finds it sad though that it took you being so drunk for him to sum up enough courage to talk to you.
It scared him how you made his heart hammer in his chest, how your mere gaze on him suddenly made him nervous. But he couldn’t stop himself from staring. You were too cute with your dorky little grin as you stood at his front door telling him all about how you were his new roommate. He made a mental note to curse Yuji out for not telling him Yuko’s friend was a pretty girl and not the six foot two fucking pro wrestler guy he made you sound like.
You can’t possibly have any more to throw up, your skin feverish and clammy as your fingers curl into the grass below you. Megumi rubs your shoulder gently before he feels you slump against him, sniffling and tiredly whimpering beside him.
Megumi goes stiff, unsure of what to do with you. 
He should probably take you home.
“M’gonna take you home, okay?” Megumi says, feeling your body go a little more limp as you nod and pout in response.
Megumi easily picks you up, your legs dangling and your head falling against his chest, then he feels like he can’t breathe.
You look so pretty even when your skin flushes a little pale from being so sick and your baby hairs stick to your clammy skin. He carries you around the side of the house to avoid taking you back through the loud ass party.
You don’t make a peep as Megumi sits you in the passenger seat of his car, your head falling against the car window as he pulls your seatbelt over your shoulder, clipping it by your waist. He quickly sends Yuji a message to let him know he’s taking you home, though he doubts Yuji will pay attention to his phone since he seemed to be having a really good time taking shots and singing bad karaoke.
The car ride is silent and all Megumi can think about is what you said.
Maybe he kind of was being an ass to you. He hadn’t made much of an effort to get to know you or make you feel welcome because, in all honesty, you freak him out with how you made him feel without even trying.
So instead, he ignores you.
Pretending he doesn’t notice how your tongue pokes out from between your lips when you’re deep in focus, or how you always wear fuzzy socks around the house when you don’t have classes, or how you do a little jump to reach things on the higher shelves (which makes him melt), or how you still look at him with such kindness despite how piss poor he behaves around you.
Megumi holds you close as he opens your bedroom door, pushing it the rest of the way open to set you down on your bed. Your hair is messy and your clothes are disheveled, a little pout on your cute little lips as you sway slightly. 
You fall back onto your bed, your head hitting the soft pillow. Megumi sighs before sitting on the edge of your bed, large hands reaching to pull your shoes off for you. 
Your feet look like they hurt, little red blisters forming on your heels and toes. He gently pulls your shoes off and sets them down by your bedside table. You sigh with relief at the feeling of having your feet free of their heel prison. 
Megumi breathes softly and just studies you for a moment. It’s dark in your room but he can see the gentle outline of your face and the curve of your cheek. Your room is quiet apart from your soft breaths and Megumi prays you can’t hear his thumping heart. 
Megumi lets his eyes wander, unable to tear his gaze away from the soft lacy hem of your bra peeking over your top. His breath hitches in his throat and he suddenly feels disgusting for wondering if your panties match your bra— He closes his eyes, biting the inside of his lip.
You whine in your sleep, some of your hair falling in front of your face as you squirm. Without thinking, he reaches up and tucks some of your hair behind your ear, thumb brushing over your cheek.
You stir at the feeling and Megumi pulls away, scared he woke you.
“Mm, where’m I?” you slur, eyes still pressed closed.
“You’re home, don’t worry,” Megumi replies softly.
“Mm, okay,” you breathe, “thanks, Yuji…”
Megumi’s heart sinks but his face remains unchanged. Of course you’d think Yuji took you home, he’s your friend. Why would you Megumi do something like that for you?
He pulls away from you with a quiet sigh, “get some sleep, Y/N.”
“How do you know he took me home?” You ask, shaking your head slightly as you restock the mini fridge under the counter with milk.
You managed to shake off the hangover after three days of staying curled up in bed drinking water, throwing back ibuprofen and watching kitchen nightmares on your laptop with all the lights off. But now you’re back at work being blinded by the awful fluorescent lights and smelling of burnt coffee.
Yuko presses a button on the coffee machine, “he texted Yuji, told him he was gonna take you home,” Yuko replies, her hands on her hips.
You let out a shaky sigh, eyebrows furrowed in confusion because why would Megumi have taken you home when he seems so perpetually annoyed by you?
And how did he even find you? You remember the smell of the weed in the bathroom and people yelling at you, then you remember stumbling into the backyard like a bumbling fool, then— 
Oh, no.
“I don’t even know where you went, you’re lucky Fushiguro kept an eye on you–”
“No!” You suddenly squeak.
Yuko gives you a dazed look, “what? What happened?”
You press your hands to your face, drawing out a muffled groan because it just fucking dawned on you who held your hair back in the garden that night.
“It was him!”
“What are you talking about? Who?”
“Fushiguro! He held my hair back in the garden! I called him an ass!” you whine.
Yuko pauses for a moment before she just starts laughing, pressing her hand to her mouth to muffle the sound. You look up at her with the most offended look on your face.
You throw a rag at her, “don’t laugh! I was so mean!”
“That’s one way to break the ice,” she giggles, flinching away from you as you playfully swat at her leg with another rag.
“Ozawa…” you whine, “he must be so mad at me.”
“He still took you home after that though? I think you’re overthinking it.”
“He should have left me there in that damp backyard in my own vomit!” you say dramatically. “No wonder he thinks I’m a fucking idiot.”
“I really doubt he thinks that,” Yuko rolls her eyes, becoming sick of this beating-around-the-bush mantra you’ve got going on.  
“I have to pay all the rent for like, a year as an apology.”
“Can you even afford that?”
“No!”
You slug around for the rest of your shift, moping about behind the counter and wishing the ground would just swallow you whole. When the end of your shift rolls around, you feel more and more nervous about going home now that you’ve figured out you called Megumi an ass to his face.
Before you clean the coffee machine, you make a coffee to take home for him since he seems to always drink the coffees you make for him even if he seems annoyed by you interrupting his studying. 
Your hands are shaking as you unlock the front door, holding a cup of hot coffee and a cinnamon bun in a paper back in your other hand. Your heart is in your throat as you push the door open, peeking inside.
You see Megumi from the front door, he’s sitting at his desk in the living room, laptop open and a few notebooks stacked beside him. Classes haven’t even ramped back up yet and he’s already studying.
You kick your shoes off and shuffle down the hall, heartbeat thumping in your ears and suddenly feeling a chill down your spine at the idea of facing your roommate who you insulted.
You clear your throat, “uh, h-hey.”
Megumi has his earbuds in but he notices you standing there in the corner of his eyes. He takes his earbuds out, “you okay?”
You bite the inside of your cheek, “I got you a coffee.”
You place it down beside him. He doesn’t take his eyes off yours.
Your knees feel weak under his steely gaze. You quickly hand him the paper bag, “and a cinnamon bun.”
“Thanks,” he says simply.
There’s a long awkward pause before you huff out a shaky sigh, “listen, Fushiguro– I’m sorry about the other night when I like, threw up everywhere and called you an ass–”
“S’fine,” Megumi replies blankly.
“No, really, I was mean and rude and I didn’t mean it–”
“I know, idiot,” he cuts you off again, “seriously, it’s fine.”
Your lips form a tight line, eyebrows furrowed with worry because it’s not fine. You want to say more but you’re pretty sure Megumi doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. Which is understandable, you’re just happy he hasn’t kicked you out yet.
You toy with your fingers for a moment before you nod awkwardly, shuffling off toward your room. You miss as Megumi watches you leave again, feeling stupid for how bad he is at talking about his feelings.
You avoid Megumi like the plague after that.
You’re so utterly embarrassed by what you said and you can only imagine how mad he is about it but at least he’s doing you a favour by not mentioning it.
You disappear from any room he walks into, slinking by and apologising awkwardly when you take up too much time in the bathroom, or bowing your head and averting your gaze when he walks into the kitchen, you’re embarrassed and you feel awful, and it bothers you that Megumi is so vague and mysterious about how he feels about you, sure he took you home and pulled your dirty shoes off your feet and put you to bed. But he also gives you curt nods and vague responses that leave you wondering whether or not he likes you or just tolerates you. 
Are you friends? Just roommates? Does he like you? Does he hate you? 
You’ve got no earthly idea and the easiest way to survive in such a predicament is to just avoid the very thing that’s causing the problem. 
And Megumi is so damn annoyed by it.
At first it was him who was avoiding you, hiding away in his room so he didn’t have to interact with you and now that he knows you’ve been trying to get him to notice you, he’s been trying to linger around nearby and sort of force the proximity because he has no idea how to approach you like a normal fucking person. 
He reaches things for you on the top shelf when you can’t reach them, he makes sure to take your sweaters out of the washing machine so they don’t shrink, he even sets aside the caramel flavoured coffee pods for you because he knows they’re your favourite. 
He’s bad at all of this. The talking part.
What if you think he’s too needy or too clingy or too much? That would just embarrass him even more than he already is. 
Megumi lets you be, assuming that you’re probably regretting everything you said that night after he so blatantly blew you off when you brought home a coffee for him the other night.
But you talk again when your car doesn’t start.
“Fuck,” you groan, turning your key in the ignition for the third time in the past minute, the engine ticking, ticking, ticking before you give up. You whine and give a half-hearted punch to the steering wheel. 
You knew this would happen eventually. 
Your car is run down and sort of shitty. You have to basically shoulder check the driver’s side door to get it open and you can’t actually open one of the back doors anymore because it refuses to unlock. But you’re broke and the damn thing gets you from A to B, except for today.
It’s raining and your hair is stuck to your head from the mad dash you did from the front door to your car and now it won’t even start. 
You’re basically drenched when you step back inside the front door.
“I thought you left already?” Megumi questions from the kitchen, holding a bowl of cereal in his hand.
“My stupid car won’t– oh,” you cut yourself off when your eyes meet with Megumi clearly fresh out of the shower.
He’s wearing grey sweatpants that hang low on his hips and no shirt, little droplets of water slipping down his broad shoulders and chest from his slightly damp hair. He’s looking at you with a bored expression, waiting for you to continue.
You clear your throat and decide the ceiling is so very interesting, “u-uh, yeah, my car won’t start, ‘m just gonna walk–”
“You’re gonna walk?” Megumi’s eyes narrow.
“I mean I’m poor so,” you give a sheepish laugh.
Megumi rolls his eyes, putting the bowl of cereal down on the counter and turning on his heel to pull his black hoodie off the couch, slipping it over his head.
“We’ll take my car,” he says, grabbing his keys off the side table beside the couch.
Your eyes widen, “huh? What– no, it’s fine–”
“Walking in this weather would be dumb,” Megumi grumbles, “just get in my car, idiot.”
You press your mouth shut and do as you're told, trailing behind him as he picks up his umbrella by the door, holding it over your head as you take the short walk to his car. Megumi holds the umbrella completely over you, the heavy rain completely drenching his left shoulder.
“You’re getting wet,” you point out.
“M’aware,” he retorts without looking at you.
Your shoulder bumps with Megumi’s bicep given the height difference between you. You’ve never been this close to him before, well, at least not sober. You never realised how much taller he is than you, it makes you feel kind of safe.
Megumi unlocks his car and opens the door for you, holding the umbrella completely over you until you’re safe in the passenger seat of his car. You curl your fingers around your tote bag nervously, Megumi getting in the driver’s seat.
“Thank you,” you squeak out.
Megumi starts up his car, his car being one of those ones that has a push button to start instead of a key, “I don’t mind,” he shrugs.
You chew on the inside of your cheek, your heart punching against your chest. You take a breath before you look over at Megumi.
“Do you hate me, Fushiguro?”
The question just hangs there and Megumi feels his heart falter at such a question because no, he doesn’t hate you. Not even a little.
It upsets him that you think he hates you, that you think so little of yourself that you let yourself get torn up over what he thinks of you.
He had no idea he was coming off that way, that you genuinely thought he hated you. 
He opens his mouth to speak but it never comes out. He’s not sure what to say or what to do to make you see that hate is the furthest thing from his mind when it comes to you. But instead, Megumi’s mind is choked with thoughts and it’s so overwhelming that he just clutches the steering wheel and silently drives you to campus. 
He still hasn’t spoken when he parks the car.
The two of you are silent for a moment before he hears you sniffle, his heart snapping in two at the mere sound of it. 
“T-Thank you,” you murmur, quickly pushing the door open and shuffling out before Megumi can protest.
No. Fuck. No, he didn’t mean it like that.
“Y/N, wait,” he gets out of the driver’s side, umbrella clutched in his fist.
You’re holding your tote bag tight to your chest as you walk across the pavement in the pouring fucking rain. 
“Y/N!” Megumi is behind you, his hand curling around your upper arm and stopping you in your tracks.
You pause, turning to face him, eyes glassy and doe-like as you stare up at him, “what is it?” you force out. 
You both hope he says something, anything. He pants, his hair sticking to his face as his steely eyes show the first ounce of emotion you’ve seen from him. 
“Y-You…” Megumi doesn’t stammer, he never does. “Take it,” he holds out the umbrella for you.
A silence hangs between you and you sigh, taking the umbrella from his grasp and opening it above your head, leaving him there in the carpark. 
Megumi beat himself up over it for days.
He picks you up that same rainy afternoon, the two of you not uttering a single word to one another other than a ‘hey’ from him and a ‘thank you’ from you. He wants to tell you everything, that he’s really bad at talking about things and that he doesn’t hate you. 
He’s not sure how to prove it to you, the words dying in his throat the moment he shares a room with you for more than five seconds. He’s not sure what to say or how to say it.
Hana always told him he talked too much. Which was crazy because Megumi was a man of very few words. But when the two of them would fight, he was always so adamant at resolving the issue and getting to the root of the problem instead of just letting it hang in the air and choke him.
He sometimes wonders if that’s why she cheated.
You don’t talk to Megumi for a while. Feeling small and embarrassed about asking him such a question when you knew deep down it wasn’t true and you just wanted to hear it from him. 
But it hurt when he didn’t deny your question, when he just stayed silent and let you fuss over it for days. You’ve lost sleep, laying away at night and wondering if you should just talk to him. 
Megumi tries to approach you, he really does. 
He thinks about knocking on your bedroom door late at night but every time he finds himself standing outside, arm held up about to knock, he stops himself and wonders if he even deserves to talk to you. 
If he even deserves to try again. 
“I’m the best you’ll ever have.”
He knew it wasn’t true at face value. He knew Hana wasn’t good for him in the end, but it’s hard to ignore such bitterness coming from someone you used to love. 
“Hey, Yuko,” you greet softly, phone pressed to your ear. “Can I ask a favour?”
“Of course… you okay, Y/N?” Yuko asks slowly, her voice gentle.
You pause, “I just… I need a ride to campus until I can get my car fixed. Would you and Itadori mind if I tagged along? I’ll give you fuel money.”
Yuko pauses this time, “…You didn’t ask Fushiguro?”
You toy with your fingers nervously, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 
She hums and nods, “We can take you, Y/N.” 
Yuko knows you well enough to know that something happened. You spoke so timidly and she could tell you were nervously fiddling with the sleeves of your sweater. She would talk to Yuji about it; hopefully he could knock some sense into his best friend. 
It's first thing Monday morning when you emerge from your room with your tote bag over your shoulder and your hair done in a messy claw clip. You look tired, bags forming under your eyes and you make a beeline for the door without even acknowledging Megumi. 
“Do you need a ride?” Megumi sits up straighter on the couch and holds his keys up as if he didn’t set an alarm just to take you to class. 
“Uh, no, thanks. Ozawa and Itadori are taking me,” you say sheepishly, barely offering him a glance. 
Megumi’s heart cracks a little. He wants to say something, tell you he’s sorry and ask if he can please take you to class. But he doesn’t, mouth staying shut as he nods quickly, “right. Okay.” 
You leave without another word, the apartment feeling awful and still without you. Megumi’s leg bounces nervously and his blunt nails scratch at the inside of his knee. He’s anxious and he wants to fix it so desperately but he feels like he’s only making it worse.
“Hey, Y/N,” Yuji greets with a warm smile.
You offer him a half smile before getting in the back seat. Yuko and Yuji share a look with one another before Yuji backs out of the apartment parking lot. There’s an intensity hanging in the air and you just stare out the window with a blank expression, vaguely paying attention to the music on the radio.
“Are you okay, Y/N?” Yuji asks softly, eyeing you through the rearview mirror.
“M’fine,” you whisper back, too afraid to trust your voice.
“What happened?” Yuko reaches back between the seats to touch your knee affectionately. 
You shrug, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Yuko pulls her hand away from you and glances at her boyfriend, the two of them making a silent agreement to talk to Fushiguro after dropping you off instead of going to their morning classes.
Yuji slams the door open, nearly sending Megumi flying into the roof with how loud it was, “Fushiguro!”
“The fuck are you yelling for?” Megumi spits, gaze softening slightly after realising Yuko was trailing behind Yuji.
Yuko frowns, “what did you say to Y/N?”
“What?”
“She was upset, Fushiguro,” Yuji crosses his arms, “what did you say to her?”
“Nothing,” Megumi defends quickly.
“Then why is she upset?” Yuko’s brows furrow.
Megumi sighs, “she just asked me if I hated her–”
Yuji cuts him off, “and what did you say?”
Megumi averts his gaze, “nothing.”
“You said what?” Yuko presses.
“I didn’t know what to say–”
“You say, ‘no Y/N, I don’t!’,” Yuji mocks before landing a punch to Megumi’s shoulder, “you upset her, bro.”
“I know,” Megumi grumbles.
“Then why didn’t you apologise?” Yuko asks.
“I didn’t know how,” Megumi dejectedly sighs. “I didn’t expect it.”
“She likes you, man. Like a lot,” Yuji shakes his head, his heart hurting a little at the fact that Megumi looks really torn up about the whole situation too.
There’s a long pause, “can you lie to her?”
“What?” Yuko and Yuji ask in unison.
“Tell her you can’t pick her up,” Megumi adds, “please.”
Yuji and Yuko share another look and Yuko sighs before nodding her head, taking out her phone to tell you that she and Yuji can’t come get you because Yuji’s brother called and needed his help. It’s not a great lie, but you’ll believe it at first glance.
Your phone buzzes in the middle of class. You’re tired and you feel like shit and the professor’s monotone voice is boring you half to death. You flip your phone over and read the message from Yuko.
Yuko <3: Hey, Y/N. Choso called and he needs to borrow Yuji’s car, we can’t come get you this afternoon. Sorry hun x
You frown.
Yuko <3: But don’t worry, Fushiguro is coming to get you.
You panic, quickly unlocking your phone to message her back, telling her you’ll get an uber or just walk but you get a message from an unknown number only a second later.
Unknown: I’ll come get you.
You rest your head in your palm and go to message him back telling him it’s fine but the speech bubbles appear and reappear before he sends the message.
Unknown: Please wait.
You let out a shaky breath, your heart pittering loudly in your chest. You zone out for the remainder of the class, nervously chewing on your nails and tapping on the desk. You don’t want to talk to Megumi, you really don’t. At least not while you feel like shit and your thoughts are a huge mess.
You sit on the grass after your lecture, pulling at the blades of grass by your feet while you stare at the ground, teeth nipping anxiously at the inside of your lower lip. You don’t know what Megumi wants to say to you or why he even agreed to pick you up if he was so against talking about whatever the hell was going on between you two.
You’re pulled from your thoughts when a pair of black sneakers intrudes on your line of sight, you know it’s Megumi from the little scuff marks on the edge since they’re so worn out but they’re his favourite pair.
He doesn’t say anything as he stares at you, hands shoved in the pockets off his hoodie like they always are. You wordlessly stand up, pulling your tote bag to your chest and pushing past him without a word.
“Y/N, I–”
You’re too far ahead of him now, making your way to his parked car on the curb. His head hurts and his chest is tight with nerves but he’s quick to unlock the car for you and let you scoot into the passenger seat.
Megumi quickly joins you, turning on the car and just sitting there for a moment, hands tight around the wheel. 
“I–” Megumi feels his throat close up, “I’m sorry.” You feel your eyes glass over but you don’t offer him anything else but he continues, “I don’t hate you, Y/N.”
“S’fine if you do,” you say quietly, “I know I can be annoying and intrusive–”
“–What? You’re not–”
“And I understand if you want me to move out–”
“No, Y/N, I don’t want that–”
You’re rambling now without thinking, “–nd I know you probably need me to move out cus of that girl at the party–”
“What girl?” Now he’s fucking confused.
“And she’s pretty and I saw you talking to her–”
Wait, his ex?
“–Wait, Y/N, that’s not–”
“And I’m sorry I was so drunk–”
“Y/N, stop!” Megumi didn’t mean to yell, but it instantly shuts you up. He peers over at you and you’re crying, tears slipping down your flushed cheeks. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.”
“S’okay,” you sniffle, wiping your tears away.
“No, it’s not… You just wouldn’t shut up,” Megumi makes an attempt at dry humour, letting you know it was a joke by following up with a half-assed breathy laugh.
You just look at him, eyes slightly red.
“I– Fuck,” Megumi curses, knuckles turning white as he grips the steering wheel. 
The two of you stay silent, the only thing either of you hear is your quiet sniffling. Megumi sighs, running a hand through his messy hair before speaking, “...she cheated on me.”
Your eyes widen a little.
“That girl you saw. Yeah, she was my ex but… she cheated on me.”
“...I’m sorry, Fushiguro.”
“Stop calling me that,” he grumbles.
“It’s your name,” you retort.
“I don’t want you to call me Fushiguro,” he presses his eyes shut.
Your lips form a tight line and you just watch him, waiting patiently for him to continue because you can tell he’s trying really hard.
“Can you just call me Megumi,” he sighs. “Please?”
You nod, “okay, Megumi,” you whisper softly.
“...I don’t hate you, Y/N. Not even a little,” his eyes finally meet yours.
“You’re really bad at showing it,” you say with a breathy laugh.
“I know… M’just really–” he stops himself, his hand scrunching against the material over his thigh, “I’m just scared.”
Your heart shatters, a pout pulling at your lip because you feel like you’re about to cry again. You study him for a moment, your heart warming at the sight of Megumi Fushiguro being so utterly soft and nervous.
You hesitate for a moment before you reach your hand over the centre console to stop him from grabbing and pulling at his own thigh. His hand is cold and his palm is rough but it’s him. And you were sitting here thinking you needed his comfort when really he needed yours.
He flinches at the gentleness of your touch, your hand is smaller than his but it’s so soft and warm. 
He lets you wrap your fingers around the back of his hand, lets you roll his hand over and press your palm to his. It’s comforting and it’s sweet.
“You don’t need to be scared, Gumi.”
His heart flutters at the nickname and his steely blue eyes nervously meet yours. He nods his head slowly and you smile.
“Feel better?” You ask softly.
Megumi holds your hand in his, eyes still searching yours before they flicker down to your lips briefly. You catch the quick movement and your body reacts without any input from your brain, your tongue darting out to wet your lips.
“Gumi?”
Megumi doesn’t need much more motivation than that and his other hand lets go of the wheel to reach over and cup your warm cheek. Your breath hitches in your throat and your eyes flicker between his nervously. His eyes are half-lidded, nose grazing yours and your hand squeezes tight around his.
“S’okay,” he coos softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “M’gonna kiss you.”
Your heart is in your throat and you start overthinking it, thinking back to the maybe handful of times a boy has kissed you, but never a man, never someone like Megumi.
You nod your head quickly and a smile tugs at the corner of Megumi’s lip because you’re so fucking cute.
You feel the world melt away when Megumi’s breath fans across your lips, his hand coming to cup the back of your head, guiding you to tilt your head slightly as he finally, finally, closes the distance between you, his slightly chapped lips meeting yours.
You melt into his warmth, one hand nervously holding his while the other has a death grip on the strap of your tote bag. 
His lips move against yours, becoming a little more feverish and needy when you let out a soft whine. He feels himself go feral, wanting to drag you into the back seat and take you in this stupid parking lot where everyone can see.
But instead he takes it slow, pressing your lips against his and his hand tangling in your soft hair. You’re nervous and a little inexperienced, he can tell but it only drives him more insane.
He pulls away only a fraction, a cheeky smile pulling at his lips when he realises your lips chase his, your other hand coming to curl around his hoodie sleeve to bring him closer.
“Wasn’t so bad?” Megumi whispers.
You have the most innocent little look on your face, “does that mean you like me?”
Megumi can only chuckle softly at how damn cute you are, “I don’t just kiss any girl like that, Y/N.”
You nod timidly, “m’kay, Gumi.”
Megumi wants to kiss you again but refrains because he knows he’ll want to do other things to you with how you utter the nickname with such innocence, but you’re in a parking lot on your college campus and there are about fifty people that have walked by in the past ten minutes.
But when you get home?
“Megumi–” your hands are clutching the front of his hoodie as he kisses the side of your cheek, then your temple, then above your eyebrow, “wait a second.”
“S-Sorry,” he mutters against your warm skin. 
You’ve barely got one foot in the door and Megumi already has you pinned against the wall in the hallway, a large hand cupping your head while the other rests on your waist. He pants softly, lips itching to kiss you and kiss you hard.
“I’m sorry too,” you say breathlessly. “For not seeing.”
Megumi shakes his head, “you don’t need to be sorry.”
“But I am,” you murmur, “you’re really bad at talking about your feelings but I should have been more observant.”
“S’okay, Y/N,” he rests his forehead against yours, “m’just glad you let me pick you up.”
“I thought about just walking,” you giggle, “letting you grovel for a little longer.”
“That’s not very nice.”
“I’m glad I didn’t.”
“I’m glad you didn’t either,” he smiles softly, running the pad of his thumb along your cheek.
You fall silent, hands just holding onto his hoodie while he presses feather-light kisses to your face. You suddenly feel nervous when you feel a certain stiffness against your thigh.
“...Do you want to–”
“I’m a virgin.”
Megumi pulls away from you, “W-What?”
“You were gonna ask if we could… y’know,” your eyes shift away from him, “I panicked.”
Megumi laughs, like actually, laughs at that.
“Don’t laugh,” you playfully punch his shoulder, your bottom lip sticking out in a pout. “A lot of people are still virgins in college.”
“M’not laughing at that,” he grins. “You’re just… you’re really cute.”
You feel your face heat at that, “stop it.”
“M’serious.”
“You’re always serious.”
“Whatever.”
You giggle softly, letting him press a soft peck to your lips.
“I was going to ask if you wanted to watch a movie,” Megumi lies through his teeth, liking the way you flush and stammer at outing yourself. 
“Oh,” you say quietly. 
“Why ‘oh’?” He teases.
“Nothing,” you say quickly, brows knit.
“What?” he presses with a shit-eating grin. 
“Nothing,” you retort.
“...Did you want to have sex?”
Your heart drops, eyes widening slightly because yes, you do want to have sex with Megumi. You’d never really thought much about sex until him. Never thought you’d want a guy to manhandle you or put his hands all over your body until Megumi.
“Can we?” you ask timidly.
Megumi feels a pang in his heart because you’re so fucking cute he might pass away. He smiles before pressing a kiss to your forehead, “if you want to.”
“But do you want to?”
Megumi doesn’t need to think very hard about that one.
“I’ve wanted you in my bed since I first met you, Y/N.”
You breathe hard, your heart racing in your chest and you’re sure it’s loud enough for Megumi to hear how fucking nervous yet turned on you are. Your eyes fall to his lips again, revelling in the feeling of his breath fanning over your lips.
You press up on your tiptoes, Megumi’s head slowly tilting and following you, wondering what you’re doing. Your soft lips graze the shell of his ear and you smile cheekily, about to fucking out yourself with the last of your confidence. 
“Fuck me then.”
Megumi slams you against the wall, arms caging your body as he presses his lips hard against yours. The kiss is needy and feverish, a mess of clashing teeth and wandering hands. Megumi’s hand cups the back of your head, tilting your head to the side to deepen the kiss.
His tongue presses against your lips before sliding into your mouth, earning a soft whine from your throat that you didn’t mean to sound so desperate. Your fists curl around the material of his hoodie, pulling Megumi impossibly closer.
Megumi’s free hand drops from your waist to your hip, squeezing your skin. His other hand drops from your head to curl over your hips and grope your ass. Both of his hands cup your ass, kneading the soft flesh and earning a soft mewl from your throat.
“You sound so pretty, baby,” Megumi mutters against your lips, his messy hair tickling your forehead. You want to moan and whine at the nickname but instead you kiss him again.
You’ve got the hang of this kissing thing but you still have no fucking idea where to put your hands without making him uncomfortable– as if his hands aren’t groping your ass.
Megumi pulls away slightly breathless, “you wanna stop?”
“No,” you shake your head quickly, “no, I don’t wanna stop.”
Megumi grins, kissing your cheek, “okay, sweet girl.”
Megumi leads you to his bedroom, his hand never leaving yours and your other hand never letting go of his hoodie sleeve. He pushes his bedroom door open, his lips on your instantly as he backs you up to his bed. The backs of your thighs hit his mattress and you fall backward, bringing Megumi with you. 
Megumi chuckles softly against your lips before kissing the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then the underside of your jaw, then your neck. His hand paws at the bottom hem of your sweater, his fingers slipping underneath to ghost over the skin of your bare tummy. 
“M’gonna take it off, okay?” 
You nod sheepishly, “okay.”
“You tell me if you want me to stop,” he breathes.
“I will, Gumi,” you reply with a whisper, kissing the tip of his nose.
Megumi grins affectionately before his hands grip the bottom of your sweater, pulling it up slightly. Your breath hitches in your throat and he slowly pulls your sweater upward and over your tits. You’re not wearing a shirt, just a lacy black bra, just like the one he got a peek of at the party.
“Pretty,” Megumi murmurs, pressing a kiss to your chest, right between your collarbones. 
Your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him against your hot skin as he peppers kisses across your chest, finally pulling your sweater over your head and tossing it aside. You’re left in your pretty bra and a short little skirt that finished above your mid thigh. 
God how he wants to bite and suck on your pretty plush thighs.
His hand snakes underneath you, fingers fiddling with your bra clasp at your back. Your breathing quickens and Megumi kisses your cheek, “s’okay… m’here.”
He unclasps your bra, the cups loosening around your tits and the straps going slack on your shoulders. His fingers ghost over your shoulder as he pulls the strap down your shoulder, pressing soft kisses in his wake.
“C-Can you go faster?” You whine, your voice quiet.
Megumi chuckles, lifting his head to peer up at you, pupils blown wide, “am I going to slow for you, pretty girl?”
You bite your lip, “mhm.”
Megumi lifts his thigh, pressing it between your legs to where you desperately want him. You whine when he presses his strong thigh against your clothed heat, your skirt bunching up at your waist. Your skin feels hot and you feel a wetness pooling in your panties, making your face flush with embarrassment at your own neediness.
“I’ve thought about this,” Megumi whispers, pulling your bra cup down, his large hand cupping your plush breast. “A lot.”
You moan softly, your nipples hardening under the cold chill of the air in his room.
“Thought about what you’d sound like.”
He lowers his head slightly, pressing long, wet kisses to your pretty nipples. Your hand tangles in his hair, pressing him down and forcing him to nip and suck at the soft skin.
“Thought about how you’d look.”
You roll your hips involuntarily against his strong thigh, feeling the friction against your poor little clit. You moan underneath him, your heart racing as he lowers his head to kiss down your tummy to the hem of your skirt.
“Thought about how you’d taste.”
You suddenly let out a surprised gasp when Megumi pulls your lower body off the bed, your hands curling into his bedsheets for support. You peer down at him, your heart in your throat at the sight of Megumi between your legs, his fingers curling underneath the waistband of your skirt and pulling.
He drops the material on the floor, his large hands curling underneath your thighs and pulling them apart, “w-wait, Gumi.”
He presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh, “what is it, princess?”
“W-What are you doing?”
Megumi smiles against the inside of your thigh, “m’gonna eat your pretty pussy.”
Your hands curl into the sheets and you feel a glob of arousal seep from your cunt. If this is how fucked up he gets you just from kissing you, how the hell are you going to hold up with his tongue inside you?
“You okay with that?”
You nod your head quickly without thinking, a thin sheen of sweat already coating your skin. “P-Please–”
Megumi chuckles softly at how damn cute you are, his fingers hooking under the sides of your panties, pulling them down your legs. They’re covered in your arousal, your pretty pussy glistening under the warm glow of the setting sun.
God he wishes he could take a picture.
“G-Gumi?” You peer down at him, “s-stop staring.”
Megumi pulls your thighs over his shoulders, his hair tickling the insides of your spread legs, “sorry, sweet girl, she’s just s’pretty.”
You let out an involuntary moan when he presses a kiss to your swollen clit, the sudden attention sending a jolt of pleasure through your tummy. You want to slam your thighs closed, your body desperate for friction. 
“Don’t tease me,” you whine. “Please–”
Megumi’s fingers curl into your thighs, pulling them apart further and forcing your pussy lips open to press the flat of his tongue against your awaiting clit. 
“M-Megumi–”
You throw your head back against the bed, one of your hands pressing against the back of his head, forcing him closer to your pussy. No one has ever touched you like this, no one has ever put their mouth on you, no one has ever seen your pretty pussy and you couldn’t think of anyone better than Megumi Fushiguro to be the one to tongue-fuck you right now.
“You ever masturbated, baby?”
You whine, “a-are you teasing me or something?”
He smiles against your clit, tongue dipping down to lap up your slick, “maybe a little. I just wanna know if you’ve ever had something inside you.” His thumbs spread you open, his tongue flicking against your clit and making you whine even louder. “Shh, baby, we have neighbours.”
You don’t give a fuck right now.
“I’ve masturbated b-before,” you say after a hard huff, you feel fucking breathless.
“Oh, yeah?” Megumi presses his tongue against your little hole, lewdly slurping up the insane amount of arousal leaking from you. “You should show me.”
“No!” you whine, “so embarrassing.”
“I think it’d be hot,” the tip of his middle finger presses against your hole. “Maybe some other time.”
You cry out, hands gripping the sheets when Megumi presses the tip of his middle finger into your cunt. His fingers are thicker than yours and you can only imagine so much longer, able to press against parts of you you’ve never reached before. 
“Gumi–” you pant, “m-more.”
“More?” He raises a brow at you.
“Please, please–”
“You’re so cute.”
“Shut up!” you whimper, “js’ touch me–” Megumi can’t deny you, not when you sound so fucking gorgeous and you taste like fucking heaven. 
He presses his finger into you, twisting his hand around and curling his finger inside you. You want to cry, your eyes screwed shut and your belly burning. He fucks his finger into you slowly, his tongue lapping and sucking your clit while your thighs press against his head.
“Gonna add another one, okay, baby?”
You nod your head desperately and he smiles cheekily, pressing a second finger into you to stretch you open. You throw your head back at the delicious stretch, your slick coating Megumi’s fingers and dripping down his wrist.
Megumi feels your thighs pressing together harder and he forces your thigh down with his free hand, your knee almost hitting your chest with how he pins it down. He’s spreading you open, tongue flicking against your clit and fingers curling against your gummy walls.
“Gumi– m’gonna–” you feel your tummy burn and you’re so fucking embarrassed that you’re about to cum from just having two fingers inside you. You start to pant, hands tangling in his hair as lewd slurping and squelches fill his room.
“S’okay, baby. Cum on my mouth,” he groans against you, his cock rock hard from feeling your hips grind against his face. You might be a virgin but your body knows what it wants as you rut against his tongue and your legs shake.
Megumi suddenly shakes his head over your clit, his mouth covered in your slick and you just cum. It crashes into you like a fucking train and you whine and moan against the back of your hand as Megumi fucks his fingers into your sopping cunt, your hole spasming and clenching down on his fingers.
He scissors and curls his fingers inside you, fucking you through your orgasm and feeling a sense of pride but also getting a huge fucking ego boost that he’s the first man to ever make you cum.
Your chest is heaving up and down, your vision cloudy and your mind feeling fuzzy as you come back down from your high. Megumi pulls his fingers out of you, kissing the inside of your thigh and lapping up the mess you made all over yourself.
You sit up on your elbows, face flushed and hair dishevelled as you peer down at Megumi. You suddenly feel immensely embarrassed that he was just between your legs, his tongue flicking over your clit and his fingers deep inside you.
“Fuck, you taste better than I imagined,” Megumi licks his fingers clean while holding eye contact with you. 
You whine and flop back onto the bed, earning a soft chuckle from Megumi as he gets to his feet, attempting to find a towel or old shirt somewhere.
“Where are you going?” You ask timidly.
“M’gonna clean you up, don’t worry, I won’t go,” he replies, quickly pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“But…” your eyes flicker to the obvious bulge in his pants.
“Hm?” He follows your gaze. “Oh, m’okay, princess. It’s not about me anyway.”
“But, I want to–”
“S’okay, Y/N,” he lifts your hand, kissing your knuckles softly, “you can try some other time.”
“...Do you not want to?”
He grins, “course I want to.”
“Then let me,” you whine, pulling him closer to you. “Please.”
Megumi ponders it for a moment. He doesn’t want to frighten you and he’s so fucking scared of losing control and just bending you over and fucking your brains out. But the way you look at him with your pretty wide eyes and your hands gripping his thighs as he stands between your legs– 
How could he say no?
“You want to, baby?”
“Mhm.”
“Okay… we’ll go slow,” he urges, petting your hair gently. 
You’re so fucking eager to please him that it makes him weak. Your post-orgasm body is shaky as you reach for the zipper of his pants, your fingertips grazing against the sensitive bulge. He groans softly, hand petting your head as he lets you figure it out, slowly unzipping his pants and pulling them down a little.
There’s a dark wet patch on his boxers, he’s so fucking turned on by your pretty sounds and your intoxicating taste that his cock is leaking and begging for attention.
“S’big,” you whisper, eyes widening.
And he hasn’t even pulled his cock out of his boxers.
He chuckles, “you flatter me, pretty.”
“N-No, really,” your pretty eyes meet his. “Is it gonna fit in my mouth?”
Holy fucking shit. 
He was thinking you were just going to give him a handjob and now you’re asking if he can fit in your mouth.
Megumi runs a hand through his hair, “fuck you drive me crazy.”
“I-I thought you wanted me to–”
“Baby. You can do whatever you want to me.”
Your eyes blow wide and you just about sparkle with anticipation, “then… can I suck your dick?”
Someone kill him and put him to rest because you’re about to be the death of him.
“Fuck yeah you can, baby.”
Megumi has to help you pull his cock from his boxers and your eyes just about bulge out of your head at the size of him. He’s long and thick and the tip is a pretty pink colour. It’s heavy too, almost too heavy to hold itself up.
He sits down on the bed and you get on your knees in front of him. He strips his hoodie off, his abs flexing as he leans back on his elbows, just watching you.
You bite your lip, suddenly intimidated.
“S’okay… just take it slow.”
You nod your head before your hand wraps around the base. Megumi suddenly groans and you pull away with a fright, “s-sorry!”
“No, no, baby–” he chuckles breathily. “Js’ a lot to take in having a pretty girl with her hands on my cock.”
You look away shyly and Megumi laughs, reaching out to cup your jaw, forcing you to look back at him. He sits up, leaning down to kiss your lips softly. You taste the remains of your orgasm on his tongue, pressing your thighs together as you feel yourself become a little aroused again.
He kisses you deeper, reaching his free hand out to cup your own, guiding you toward his hard neglected cock. “You can touch me, baby.”
Your hand wraps around the base and you squeeze softly, earning a groan from your pretty roommate. He guides your hand up and down and it’s painfully fucking slow but he’s just happy to have your hands on him.
“Atta girl,” he murmurs. “Doin’ so good.”
You beam at the praise, pressing your thumb against the leaky slit of his pretty cock head. Megumi groans, leaning back on his elbows and tipping his head back. You continue the motion, eyes gleaming with pride and innocence as you just watch him fuck your hand.
His hips jerk up, his cock pulsing in your hand.
You suddenly feel the urge to press your lips to his tip and when you do, Megumi nearly cums like a fucking teenager. 
“F-Fuck,” he grunts, his hand unintentionally pulling your hair, forcing out a pretty moan from your lips. 
You take the tip in your mouth, your tongue flattening against the head. You wonder if you’re doing it right but the way Megumi groans and his hand pushes your head further down his length, you think you’re doing a pretty good job.
“Such a good girl,” Megumi sighs, “feels s’good.”
You moan at the praise, taking a little more of his length down your throat. Your hands are squeezing his thighs, nails scraping against the taut skin and Megumi is doing everything in his power to not fuck his cock down your throat.
You start to drool, saliva slipping down your chin and coating his pretty cock. You suddenly gag on his cock, the tip hitting the back of your throat. 
“F-Fuck,” Megumi feels his cock twitch at the cute fucking sounds you’re making. Your eyes are glassy, and you’ve got drool dripping down your chin and your cheeks are flushed so pretty. “You’re gonna make me cum, baby.”
You pump the base of his cock, your tongue clumsily swirling around his tip, eyes glued to him as you watch for his reactions. Megumi suddenly sucks in a breath and pulls your mouth off his tip with a quiet pop! quickly pumping his cock.
Hot ropes of sticky cum spill across your lips and face, Megumi tipping his head back with a deep groan, squeezing the base of his cock as it twitches and jumps.
“Fuck– you sure you’ve never sucked dick before– Oh, fuck.”
Megumi’s eyes dilate at the sight of his cum painting your pretty little face, your fingers swiping at the ropes of cum before you push them into your mouth, tasting him. 
“I do good?”
Megumi laughs breathlessly, “you did so good, baby girl.”
Megumi is quick to clean you up, using an old shirt to wipe the cum off your face while you sit there all pretty on your knees in front of him. He presses kisses to your face and your hair before pulling you into bed beside him, his fingertips tracing over your shoulder as you lay your head on his chest.
“You mean what you said?”
“Hm?”
“You like me?” You ask sweetly, resting your chin on his chest to look up at him.
Megumi sits up a bit, “I like-like you.”
“Wow. That’s a big call, Fushiguro.”
Megumi chuckles, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “remember it’s Megumi.”
“Gumi?”
“I like that too.”
“Mm, Megs?”
“Don’t push it.”
You giggle softly, curling into his side with a wide smile.
Megumi takes you to work and campus every day after that night, his hand always in yours when he walks you to class and he likes to pretend it annoys him how you wrap your hand around his arm and how you squeal his name when you see him after class.
When in reality, Megumi couldn’t be happier. In a twisted way, he’s glad you asked him if he hated you, because he was able to summon the courage to tell you the truth.
That he didn’t hate you. Not even a little.
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author's note: the way i been pulling all nighters for DAYS. i was about to kill these two I TELL YOU JUST MAKE OUT PLS I CANT–
taglist: @starpachinko @2ukika @sukunabish @somethinglikero @wannabewolf @milliex01x @princessa143 @hrithi11 @katsukita69 @slayzzz @arcanefeelings @shirabu-k @izzzzzzig @zah2890 @evergumi @aerareads @flashilyquinn @raedollsstuff @happylildeath @anormieee @l1v1ngzomb1e @kimkimoruo @sunnyf4lls @saekolust @kalulakunundrum @xastoriaaurax @feliaeae @sleepyxzn
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rafesweetie · 2 months ago
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⋆˚࿔ espresso ꥟ ˚⋆ — sunny!reader x rafe
“ walked in and dream-came-trued for ya! “
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i believe the saying goes, “she was like a shot of espresso.” rafe didn’t think that saying could fit a person more than it could fit you.
he’d see you at parties, dancing with his sister or giggling with the pogues. you never could seem to pick a side. this whole pogue vs kook rivalry never crossed your mind, for you were simply friends with everyone in kildare. he’d see you at the beach with your friends, tanning while listening to silly pop music and sipping on a fruity canned drink. you reminded him of the sun.
there was one night where sarah cameron invited you to her place for a start-of-summer party. rafe was dealing some coke, as per usual, and his eyes followed you as you walked in, holding hands with sarah while she led you inside. he’d never understood why girls held hands with each other, but wheezie said that it’s a universal girl thing, and he ‘would never get it.’
topper elbowed rafe out of his trance, laughing about how rafe had a little crush.
“nah, nah,” rafe denied instantly. “isn’t she a pogue?”
topper shakes his head. “nope. she just hangs out with them. her parents own that flashy smoothie shop, she’s a kook,”
“…oh, that’s good,” rafe mutters. he can’t quite avert his gaze from you.
“aw man, you’re desperate,” kelce is on his other side, patting his back, making rafe grunt and shoo him off. rafe can’t relate to desperation.
his night goes on per usual, getting bundles of cash handed to him as he deals. until topper speaks up after a bit. “she just broke up with pope,” he informs rafe. “she’s on the market,”
“yeah?” rafe checks.
“yeah. you should go talk to her,”
rafe hesitates, staring at you again. you’re not a dancer by any means, but both you and sarah are wiggling your shoulders a bit when a good song comes up. rafe would assume you’re drunk, the way your giggles echo through the room and the way you spill your drink when you stumble into sarah. but he thinks that’s just you, drunk on life. he eventually speaks. “no fucking way, she’s with my sister right now. sarah would lose her shit if i talked to little miss sunshine over there,”
“yeah, well, need i remind you i’m dating sarah, so i’ll just get her away, go make out for a bit, she looks drunk,” topper offers.
“…a’ight. yeah, lets do it bro.” rafe agrees, and they both get up off the couch. rafe stands a little bit away as he grabs another vodka pink lemonade for you, maybe a subtle bribe into talking, and a beer for himself. topper talks to sarah for a bit, greets you, then leads sarah away.
rafe’s literally directly behind you, when suddenly you’re already talking to someone else. you’re pretty chatty, it seems. rafe hangs around to catch you after your next conversation. but then he looks away for one second, then you’re gone again. he spots you on the balcony, with jj maybank. then a couple minutes later, you’re with kie carrera. then you’re shotgunning a drink with sofia. holy shit. you’ve got him wrapped around your finger already, and he looks so cute chasing after you. if he’s not pushy, he’ll never get his chance. so, channeling his inner ward cameron, he spots you with ruthie (who he never would’ve assumed you would associate with. maybe you’re just being polite), and he puts a hand on your shoulder from behind, spinning you around. “y/n. right?”
you blink, not expecting the sudden interruption. but you regain yourself quickly, smiling. “hi! yeah, i am,” you say. your voice sounds as sweet as honey. “you’re rafe cameron?”
you know who he is? he shouldn’t be surprised, you seem to know everyone, but he likes that you know, anyway. “uh, yeah, yeah, that’s me,”
“well it’s so nice to meet you,” you smile up at him. “it’s funny, sofia used to mention you a lot, and obviously im close friends with your sister. but i’ve never met you before,”
“..you’re friends with sofia?” is all he can think to ask.
“mhm. i’ve known her since grade 5. we’re not like, super close now, but we were when you guys dated,” sensing his sudden aversion to talking about her, his ex girlfriend, you shut up. “um, wanna go grab a drink?”
“oh— shit, yeah, um, brought one for you, actually,” he hands you the vodka pink lemonade. “saw you drinking one earlier, so..”
“oh my gosh, thank you so much,” you say. is he that sweet? you guess so.
“yeah, ‘course. heard sarah talk about you, and it’s all been good things, so i figured i’d try and meet you myself,”
“well now you have. i’ve heard her talk about you too,” you don’t have the heart to say it hasn’t been very good things.
it feels like this awkward small talk is going in circles. but maybe that’s a good, slow way to start something.
your name is suddenly called by a group of girls a couple meters away. “it was so nice to meet you rafe. i should go, they want me,” you say softly, reaching for his hands. he remembers when you came in holding sarah’s hands. it seems to be your thing. “i’ll see you around?”
“yeah—“ he clears his throat, gaining the courage to hold yours back. “yeah. see you around, y/n,”
you smile. you could swear he’s blushing. “you’re cute,” you say softly, squeezing his hands once more before retreating away.
he feels like he just took a shot of espresso, and now he’ll be thinking of you every night.
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kisakunt · 1 month ago
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megumi’s pissed— pissed with a big, capital p. he’s bothered a lot; irritated and agitated with people daily, no stranger to fingers curling into a fist either at his sides or to the top of someone’s head. but right now, in the cold of your room, he’s pissed.
“take this shit off.” he won’t dare lift his hands himself because if megumi is a man of anything it’s principle. you laugh— louder than a giggle but nonetheless muffled by your pursed lips— and shake your head.
“no can do, nutmeg.” and now he’s really mad.
“don’t call me that.” he’s itching, his normally protruding hair flattened, his palms clammy, his breathing shallow.
“c’mon, why are you so miserable all the time?” it’s a slow drawl, a whine that he has to force himself to ignore. “can’t you show a little joy? maybe even some jubilance? or dare you say it might kill you?”
your name comes out stern, calculated and pointed in a way he knows will get to you, and simply, he repeats himself.
“take this shit off.”
megumi fushiguro is not a big believer of tradition. he has never obsessed over a birthday— although he did buy you a singular cupcake and candle on yours— or stressed at the thought of marriage. he’s not big on anniversaries and he couldn’t care less about a baby shower or bachelor party, so naturally holiday’s mean nothing to him.
you on the other hand are, in his own words, a nutcase. you’d met him two weeks before the christmas prior and insisted you get each other small trinkets. on valentine’s day you gave everyone you knew a card, on easter you mastered the art of making your very own chocolate, on halloween you bought a costume that he refused to wear.
and now, here you are again; snow on the ground outside and a small, and frankly sad, tree in your room symbolizing not only the biggest day of your year but an absolutely grueling year of knowing you.
you sit in front of him, criss cross, with a goofy little grin on your face. he can’t help but think it’s utterly disgusting that that’s doing something for him. regardless though, he stands his ground.
“if you don’t take this off right now i’m not talking to you for a week.” you laugh for real this time, shaking your head with more energy than before.
“well we both know that’s a lie. i’d probably drop dead if you did that and then, overwhelmed by guilt, you’d turn into an even weirder and sadder old man.”
“i’m not old. take this shit off.” atop his head sat a truthfully horrific santa hat. it couldn’t have cost more than two dollars, assortment of dim led lights on the trim. he can’t help but think of how many little, lice ridden kids must have tried this on. but he still won’t budge.
“you know you can just take it off yourself, right?” he does know that— obviously— but again, he has beliefs. he has pride. it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact you’re looking at him like he’s heaven on earth or the matching hat smothering your own hair. it has nothing to do with you at all.
he shifts, leaning his body weight onto his left side as he presses his hands into the plush of your bed to lift himself up. he makes a little show of it, slow and meticulous as he barely raises himself.
it would be so easy to avoid this situation. it would be so simple to shake his head or yank the hat off or have stopped you from putting it there to begin with.
megumi’s pissed, but it’s not with you.
“i’m serious. it’d actually be nice to have a moment of quiet in my brain.” megumi is furious, livid and squirming in his own skin. he’s absolutely, unequivocally angry.
he’s angry because he can’t figure out why for the dear life of him there’s a tightly wrapped gift tucked in the bottom of his bag, or why he knows the nearly exact color hex of your eyes, or why he’s hummed— hummed— the song ‘war is over’ twice this week.
you grumble, butt hurt and annoyed now too, and you reach over as fast as you can and snatch it off of him.
“there,” and now megumi’s even more upset because that upset him and his head feels cold and empty now. “happy now?”
and before he can think, before he can be as calculated as he always is, it slips.
“no.” and in that moment something shifts. it’s both of you, just a little bit towards each other, it’s the tension that’s now (and always has been) in the air, it’s the way your hat slips a little to the side.
“well i just can’t win with you, can i?” the— his— hat lays loose between your fingers, your voice quieter than he thinks he’s ever heard it.
megumi wonders time to time if he’s a coward. he knows he’s strong, he knows he’s just in his opinions, he knows he fights. but sometimes he freezes and sometimes he panics and sometimes he can’t look you in the eye.
maybe it’s time for him to be brave. he leans into you, closer to you, breathing you all in and, brushing your fingers in the process, he takes it back from you.
suddenly it’s warm again. suddenly you’re matching again. suddenly he feels close to you again.
“there.” for once, it feels like christmas to megumi. “happy now?” and it feels like he’s got a gift in front of him.
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mattybsgroupie · 17 days ago
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fitting | chris sturniolo
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— CONTENTS: handjob (m receiving); mommy kink; milf!reader; virgin!chris; sub!chris
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— NOTES: hi my loves! sorry i’ve been a little m.i.a, some stuff happening at home and not really in my best mood BUT i’m here! you give me strenght to keep going and doing what i love. did you guys miss him as much as i did :( chris my beloved!!! inspired by this blurb, thought i’d show how shy chris was before their first time! — btw this fic is part of the milf!au but you can it on its own! — not proofread, i apologize for any mistakes. enjoy ♡
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walking around the mall after a busy morning at work, you spotted a familiar figure across the alley. it was quite impossible not to recognize chris — his long hair falling over his big eyes, wearing his shabby jeans and his old converse as he typed frantically on his phone, oblivious to his surroundings.
you approached him slowly, standing in front of chris and expecting that he’d notice you soon. when he raised his head, a smile spread from ear to ear, his blue orbs sparkling. it had been over two weeks since you last saw each other due to stacy staying at her father's place, therefore, chris had no excuses to visit you.
“chris? what are you doing here?” you asked in your usual sweet tone. he scratched the back of his head, as if he was a bit embarrassed about the situation he found himself in. “huh... actually, i was supposed to meet stacy” chris admitted, tucking his cell phone back into his pocket and standing up beside you.
“but she won’t make it” he said. a puzzled frown appeared on your face. it’s true that you couldn’t always keep track of your daughter’s schedule when she wasn't at home, but she wasn’t the type to miss dates or hangouts. 
“cheer practice” he explained. you nodded, realizing that the game season was about to start. it felt so wonderful to see chris again. “well, would you like a ride home? i just have to look for something real quick and then i’m all done”
“sure, c-can i keep you company?” he asked, eager for a positive answer. “absolutely, sweetheart”
you led the way to the store you were going to visit. a lingerie shop. chris gulped when he saw the bright sign, the pink lights contrasting with the black interior and then sighed. he knew you missed him just as much.
“that’s not fair, mama” he mumbled after a while. chris had been following you like a puppy, interlocking his index with two of your fingers, as if he could lose his way at any second. 
“making me so needy” he complained again. you stopped by a red, lace lingerie set and happily brought it to your chest, turning to chris. “what do you think of this one, chris? pretty, right?”
“mhm— really pretty” chris shook his head as he sunk his teeth on his bottom lip. he looked away from you and the way the bra rested perfectly against your chest. “what’s up, baby? are you having a little trouble down there?”
“mama… don’t do this to me” chris whispered. his hands started to get sweaty and he could feel the blood rushing to his cock. he was about to get hard in public just because he thought of you in lingerie, which was ridiculous, since he had seem you naked previosusly.
“i’m not doing anything, sweetie. i’m shopping and you’re keeping me company, isn’t that right? is it my fault that you can’t hold yourself back and got all worked up just because i got some lingerie?” your warm tone sent a shiver down his spine, his chest immediatly inflating with air. “‘m s-sorry i just keep thinking… of you wearing it” chris tried to explain himself as you chuckled, enjoying his embarassement.
“yeah? you wanna see me wearing a nice set for you? which one do you like better?” you asked, handing him three pairs of bras and panties in different colors.
“the red one” chris spoke, still not daring to look at you in the ways. you walked in slow, seductive steps towards him, the sound of your heels taking over the empty store.
“c’mere,  i’ll try it on for you” you continued, undoing the first button of your silk shirt. chris got a peek of your bra, it was the leopard print that drove him insane and made him kiss you for the first time, months ago. “but first we gotta fix this, hm?” you cooed, placing your palm against his boner and applying some pressure to it.
once again, you led the way towards the fitting rooms. chris followed you obediently, holding a bunch of hangers. you gaze scanned the store and with a naughty grin, you opened one of the curtains and quickly went inside, pulling chris by his wrist.
he didn’t even had time to hang your underwear. you pushed him against the mirror, smashing your lips together in a desperate, hungry kiss. a loud groan left his throat as you moved to his neck, gently sucking on his skin. “mommy i missed you so much” chris rolled his eyes, his hands going to your hair.
“i missed you too, my good little boy” you whispered, palming his cock over his jeans. chris squirmed against you, a moan slipping from his lips. you opened a satisfied smile as you pulled away, sitting on the stool next to the mirror.
chris whined in protest, already missing how you hand and your lips felt on him. “got all hard for mama? you poor little thing” he pouted, nodding “c’mon, touch yourself for me” you instructed him.
his eyes widened in surprise — you had never asked him that. he didn’t know how to do jerk himself properly. chris was a virgin and the first time he was actually able to reach an orgasm was with your help. how was he supposed to do it on his own, and in public?
“mhm, unless you wanna go out with that pathetic boner” you teased, crossing your legs. the red heel started to slip from your foot as you finished unbuttoning your shirt, fully displaying your bra. chris whined again, silently pleading.
“mama… i n-need your help” chris spoke under his breath. “can’t cum without you”
“you’ll have to learn how to take care of yourself, chris” you said, pulling chris by his belt. you helped him to undress, freeing his shaft, almost slapping against his own tummy. you wrapped your knuckles around his length, stroking it in slow motions. “do you expect mama to be there every time you get hard? what are you gonna do when i’m not around, hm?”
“nhng— can’t— can’t be without mama” chris whimpered, more to himself than to you. he twitched inside your fist, placing both hands on the mirror to hold his weight, knowing his knees would ultimately give up.
you moved your thumb to his tip, pre-cum leaking from his slit as you circled it. his hips bucked forward as he leaned his head down, trying to hold himself. chris didn’t want to cum too soon, it was humiliating. he wanted to last long for you, he wanted to get used to the feeling your fingers around him, to the sound of your voice whispering praises and calling him a good boy, but no matter how hard chris tried, he pathetically failed.
“cum! mama, cum!” chris whimpered. you tightened your grip around his cock, pumping it faster. “please!”
“cum for me baby” you allowed him. you knew chris would need a long time to get used to your touch. in fact, it was adorable that he couldn’t even last five minutes.
chris threw his head back, moaning as he came on your hand, thick spurt messing your fingers and his jacket. you didn’t move your hand, continuing to gently stroke his wet, sticky cock.
that’s until your phone rang. you reached for your bag, quickly picking it up and seeing the name on the screen. “i think stacy is back home” you told chris, whose dick immediately became soft at the mention of your daughter’s name. “would you like to join us for dinner?”
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— TAGLIST ♡⊹𑄽୧ @thepubeburgler @submattenthusiast @pearlzier @mattsfavbitchhh @bugeyedgrl @sturncakez @riowritesitall @mattsturnswife @sturnsmia @sturnthepot @mattscoquette @conspiracy-ash @ilovemattsturn @lizzymacdonald06 @blahbel668 @fratbrochrisgf @sturnobsessedwh0re @cayleeuhithinknott @sturniolo04 @1c3b4th @mattsfavbigtitties @bellassturniolo @sturnsxplr-25 @ivammbb @shadowthesim @slutformatthewsturniolo @stefansring @teeheeomg @dystfopia @riasturns @faiyaz555 @sturnslutz @cvnntagious @alesturniolos @emely9274
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chris masterlist | milf au masterlist
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qwimblenorrisstan · 6 months ago
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Insufficient | Azriel x Reader
Summary: After a few months of dating, your relationship begins to crack, and the truth behind Azriel’s odd behavior comes out.
Word Count: ~ 1.8k
Warnings: ANGST, so much angst, sort of unrequited feelings, breakup, mentions of sex + torture and murder, Nesta being an absolute queen
A/N: enjoy some delicious azzy angst😋 lmk what you think I should do for the next part, like should they get back together, or reader finds a new mans while az grovels??
Requests are open!
Masterlist | Next
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It had been a warm, sunny day when you’d first met him.
The bakery had been going steadily as ever in Velaris, your family-owned shop hard at work to make the citizen's pastries and your famous sourdough bread. Generations of the family had owned it beforehand, and you were still helping out, you had been working the front that day.
Azriel had walked in, asking for some sort of treat that his High Lady was craving. His description of it hadn’t been the best, leading to almost thirty minutes of you showing him different sweet treats and pastries until he finally found what he wanted, and ordered a dozen of them.
That had been the beginning of your situationship, where he’d come to the shop asking for various things once every now and then, only to subtly get closer to you and even slightly flirt.
Eventually, he asked you out to dinner, and after a few more, you two began dating, and he admitted that he felt a little spark when he first saw you. Looking back, you wondered if that was the only reason he even pursued you in the first place, not for your personality, or even your looks, but just because of that spark.
The first few weeks had been lovely, him being thoughtful and caring to you in the little acts. Such as the way he made coffee for you just how you liked it in the mornings, how he began to put things lower on shelves so you could reach them, how he would talk quietly when you had migraines, or be patient when you were in a mood. The best example probably being the first time you had your period in front of him.
He hadn’t acted disgusted by it, instead, he’d gently cared for you, helping you through it, buying you chocolate and all the foods and snacks you were craving, getting heating pads, making sure you were alright for the entire insufferable week.
However, after that, the honeymoon period must’ve worn off, because he seemed constantly tense or stressed after that. His face remained like stone, not budging or cracking, even for you. The softening of his eyes that had happened before it was replaced by something strained as if he was waiting impatiently for something.
Even in bed, he wouldn’t look at you, remained quiet as a mouse, the only sign that he was enjoying himself being a large exhale as he buried his face in your neck or turned away. That was another problem, he knew how to fuck, he knew how to do that very well, but he didn’t know how to make love. Any time you tried to teach him, he just didn’t accept it, simply giving an unsatisfactory hum in response and continuing what he was doing.
He’d come home from missions, drenched in sweat and sometimes even blood, and not say anything even when you cleaned him off and led him to bed, giving you a cold shoulder. You fully understood that he had a bloody past and history, but you at least expected him to open up a little bit to you. Without any emotional transparency, it wasn’t really a relationship, was it?
His family was nice, though. You liked them, especially Nesta, since she seemed not to put up with everyone else’s bullshit. She was the only one you opened up to about your issues with Azriel, and how you were thinking of breaking things off or taking a break.
“He’s a hard one, but it sounds like he’s being an ass. If it were me, I wouldn’t put up with that.”
She said while you both sat in the library, neither of you noticing the small shadows lurking near the books. You sighed, nodding slowly.
“I know, it’s just…I feel like he’s waiting for something else, like just me isn’t enough.”
You said with a frown, and Nesta gave a little hum of acknowledgment.
“Just give it a week or two, and if you’re still unhappy, I’d leave.”
She said with a shrug, and not long after the both of you went your separate ways. You followed Nesta’s advice, giving the relationship a week or two, and it remained stressed and tense. However, when you finally managed to get into Azriel’s office during the day, about to break things off, he spoke first.
“Let me guess, your testing weeks weren’t satisfactory?”
He asked in a sharp tone, eyes narrowed on you with a piercing gaze. You took a sharp breath in, glaring at him despite the embarrassment that tried to take over.
“You were spying on me.”
You said, trying to keep your tone even despite how it wavered slightly. He stood then, towering over you from his superior height.
“I don’t like when people talk about me behind my back, let alone my partner.”
He said, the words clipped and full of anger simmering under the surface. He took a step closer, and you took a step back. You’d never been afraid of him, not really, but at this moment you didn’t exactly want to be close to him. His keen eyes noticed, and something like hurt and anger flashed in them.
“Don’t act like I’m some terrible person for having a girl talk because you’ve been acting weird. I can’t believe you spied on me.”
He huffed, taking another step closer, the shadows swirling and writhing, looking more agitated than ever. You took another step back, only to run straight into a wall that was now behind you. He continued stalking closer until your heart was beating faster and faster until he leaned down so you were eye-to-eye.
“I’m sorry I’m not what you signed up for. I’m not gentle or loving, I am a spymaster, I torture and kill people for my work, and have for centuries. I won’t be forced to change just to fit what you think I should be, or what you want in a relationship.”
He hissed, his words now full of anger and frustration. You leaned back, trying to keep away.
“That’s your problem. You don’t know how to separate your work life from your personal life, and you’re taking it out on me. You can be gentle and loving, I’ve seen it before, but I’m not what you want. You’ve been acting like I need to be something more for you when I’m not. I don’t know what you want, but your inability to communicate and be transparent isn’t my problem.”
You said back, tears now welling up as you tried to push him away. He didn’t back up, only moving closer and pushing you into the wall. His temper was building, and you could tell. It was only a matter of time until he would….
“A mate! I wanted a mate!”
Snap.
The silence stretched on and on for what seemed like hours after he said that, yelling it in your face. You’d never heard him raise his voice before. You gaped at the sight of him unwinding and shattering right in front of you as he rambled on.
“It’s not fair, Rhys gets Feyre, Cassian gets Nesta, Lucien gets Elain even if she doesn’t want him, and who do I get? No one.”
He said in an almost panicked tone, rambling on and on. He pushed off the wall, pacing around in his office, hands fidgeting.
“I thought—when I felt that spark when I went in your shop, that it might be you, but you weren’t enough. You aren’t my mate, because it would’ve snapped by now, I would’ve felt it, but I didn’t. You aren’t enough for me, and you never will be.”
He said, finally sighing at the end. He wouldn’t even look at you, eyes unfocused and only looking randomly around the room, anywhere but towards you. You swallowed, trying to hold back the tears that welled up because of his words. You weren’t enough. You never would be.
He looked like he felt a bit bad for half a second before his expression hardened again into that unflinching steel you’d grown to hate. He finally looked at you again, no hint of empathy or guilt now in his gaze for leading you on, or practically torturing you these past months.
Taking a shaky breath, you finally choked words out.
“Oh,” You murmured, trying to swallow the lump in your throat.
“Okay.”
You whispered, managing to push off the wall to walk to the door, opening it and walking down the hall, to the room you two had shared, and you began packing your belongings. Picture frames of your family, your clothes, little trinkets, toiletries, you left no trace of you behind as you packed it in a large duffel bag in the closet.
You walked to the front door of the House, open the door, and walk out, the 10,000 steps down looming in front of you. Azriel didn’t offer to fly you down, and it was only when you turned to look back at him, his face stone cold, that you felt it.
The snap.
A shifting warmth and coldness all at once.
And a mating bond.
His face fell in what looked like pure devastation and realization, hazel eyes wide and lips parted. It might’ve been the most emotion you’d seen him show in weeks. He began to walk out, trying to go after you as you began taking the steps, but a large flap and wave of wind stopped him.
Cassian’s large, hulking form stopped him, shaking his head grimly as he walked towards you, where you were still going down the steps, and he laid a hand on your shoulder.
“I’ll fly you.”
He said simply, and you nodded with a sniffle as he picked you up, his wings carried him into the air as he soared up, only to land moments later and drop you off back at the bakery where your family was working. He set you on the ground, pulling you into a warm hug.
“I’m sorry,”
He said, letting you pull away, and for some reason, you believed him. You, Cassian, and Nesta made quite the dynamic trio, and you would probably miss them the most. They were some of your closest friends, and also wonderful drinking buddies. You and Nesta loved cheating in card games and beating Cassian when he was too drunk to notice until he owed either of you a fortune.
“You can always come visit me and Nes, just send a letter or somethin’.”
He murmured to you, wiping the tears from your cheek, and giving you an apologetic grin, before sending you off inside your family’s bakery and flying off.
This time, when you saw the shadow still curled around your wrist like it always had been when you and Azriel were dating, you smacked it off, sticking your hand right into a clear ray of sunshine to chase it off.
You were done being dragged down by shadows and darkness, and for once in your miserable life, you were going to look for the light instead.
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velvetcrimsonkisses · 7 months ago
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Inexperienced!Ino who becomes a nervous wreck when the topic of sex comes up. He didn’t want to rush anything, but the poor guy had needs and you weren’t helping with how pretty Takuma thought you were and how needy and desperate he was for you.
Feeling his boner against you every time you both sloppily made out on his bed, your tongues intertwining with each other, both of you fighting for dominance. Exchanging saliva that almost dares to drip down Takuma’s lips. His arms wrapped around your body, engulfing you almost as if you were going to leave. His hands grazed over your body, squeezing your skin making sure this wasn’t a dream.
“Takuma, we should do more. I want to touch you baby,” the sweet whispers leave your lips and enter his ears as you press wet kisses to it. Takuma closes his eyes shut tightly; knowing that if he looked at your beautiful pleading eyes, he would give in. He takes a moment to compose himself but you are set on a goal, placing your hand on his thighs, giving him a firm squeeze as you move further and further up. Laying your head on his thigh you try to convince him again. “I could make you feel so good baby,” a small smirk appears on your lips.
Takuma opens his eyes and looks down at you, lost in his thoughts. Thinking about all the damn things you could do. He swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing visibly. He gives you a little nod and you quickly move down face-to-face with his erection. “May I?” you ask tugging on his pants. “Yeaah…” He gives you another quick nod as his body relaxes and he spreads his legs wider. You pull down his pants quickly, noticing he wasn’t wearing boxers. His hard cock springs free, already oozing with pre-cum. You knew he was bigger than average but the nice happy trail that led down to his thick cock already twitching with anticipation paired with a slight curve left you craving for more.
“Such a pretty cock, Takuma” you coo, peppering small kisses on his v-line. His eyes widen, quickly blushing at your unexpected words. He uses a hand to cover the embarrassment on his face. “Don’t cover your face baby,” you sing softly, as you remove his hand. You lean your cheek against his thigh once again and look up at him, your eyes meeting his eyes. “Want me to use my hands or my mouth…”
“Mouth… please,” he lets outs a soft, needy whimper as he bucks his hips up a little to get closer to your lips. You giggle at the sight of your needy boyfriend. An “okay, baby” is all you say before you give a quick kiss to his tip, earning another whimper from Takuma. You quickly lick from the base to the tip of his cock.
A proper moan finally leaves his lips as you wrap your lips around the tip of his cock, His whole body shudders with immense pleasure, his hips bucking involuntarily as you suck him off properly. Hollowing your cheeks as you try to take his impressive length all in your mouth. His moans grow louder and desperate as you take him deeper into your mouth. The sensation driving him wild. He tosses his head back, breathing heavily, hands fisting the sheets as he fights the overwhelming urge to thrust up.
“Fuck… oh fuck, just like that,” He was so close. His breath hitches as he finally meets your gaze. Each stroke and suck sends jolts of pleasure throughout his toned body. He feels his it approaching, the tension in his stomach coiling tight inside him because of how good you made him feel.
“Oh fuck…” is the only warning you get from Takuma before he comes undone. Spurt after spurt of hot, thick cum coats your tounge and throat as you drink him in entirely, milking him for everything he's worth. His throbbing cock still twitching in your mouth.
“Did you swallow it? You didn’t have too” An expression of worry takes over Takuma's face as his hands come up to your cheeks, moving the hair in your face out of the way. You giggle as you wipe his cum off your chin with your finger. “You taste so good tho…”
“Did you like it?” you say as you straddle him. Takuma quickly nods, placing his large hands to rest on your hips, big brown eyes looking up at you, admiring you as if you were godess. His head comes to rest on your chest. “Can I do that to you now?” he asks with a pout and how could you tell him no.
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myth1cs · 1 month ago
Text
Love Warning (Hirai Momo x M!Reader)
A bit longer, a little more story with smut at the end to wrap it up.
Word Count: 5,428
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"Y/N you can't be serious! Do you know how much I pay you?!"
"Momo it isn't about the money."
You were Momo's secretary ... well not for much longer. You decided you wanted to do more with your life and get a different job. You weren't leaving because your new job would pay more but because it was something you were generally interested in. Being a secretary behind a desk all day every day just wasn't your type of life style.
When you came to that realization you submitted your 2 week notice to Momo and that's what led you to this situation.
"Come on Y/N just name your price and I'll get it for you. Just please don't leave the company you're the best secretary I've had."
"Its not about that. I'm just so tired of spending my life behind a desk looking at the computer."
Momo grabbed your shoulders and looked you dead in the eye. "Y/N please I can't lose you. I don't think I'll ever find someone with half of the expertise that you have."
A soft sigh left you. You fully understood the company was pretty much being carried by you and it would likely see a loss of income if you left but didn't want this to be the reason that you continue to live a boring life.
"My decision is final Momo. I won't change my mind, please understand my decision." You pushed Momo's hands off of your shoulder and left her office.
As soon as you closed the door Momo clenched her fist. "You filthy swine Y/N! After everything I've done for you this is how you repay me? I helped you pay off your student loans, helped you find your first house, I even extended your deadlines which made all the investors yell at me. You won't be leaving the company."
The following day
You walked into work just like any day. You wanted to avoid talking to Momo as much as possible. It's not that you didn't want to see her its just that you didn't want to have any more unnecessary arguing between you two.
"Y/N it's good to see you. How have you been?" Your coworker Han Ji-sung greeted you. It was strange though. Usually Han is someone who keeps to himself. Usually he doesn't interact with you or anyone for that matter so why was he suddenly being talkative towards you?
"I'm fine Han and you?"
"I've been doing well Y/N. I've finally decided to start talking to others instead of being locked inside my cubicle all day."
"Really? I'm glad to hear that."
"Want to grab a snack in the break room with me before you get to work?"
"Sure why not. I skipped breakfast this morning so I could go for a quick snack."
You walked with Han into the break room only to realize it was different from the last time you saw it. Now there were a variety of things in there from vending machines, arcade games, a TV, consoles, and even a variety of board games. "Since when did this room get a renovation?"
"Didn't you hear? Momo actually went ahead and renovated the break room after we all left. It must've cost her a lot of money huh?"
"Momo did all of this?" To say you were a bit shocked would be an understatement. You weren't dumb you knew that she likely did all of this to encourage you to stay but you didn't know she would go this far.
"Honestly I'm glad to know that our boss actually cares about our well being. I always felt like she gave off cold vibes but I'm glad I was proven wrong."
"She probably doesn't care much for you, she's likely just doing this to convince me to stay." You thought to yourself. You didn't have the heart to tell Han that Momo likely wasn't doing this out of the kindness of her own heart.
"Yeah ... she really is a great boss huh?"
"Are those my two favorite employees Han and Y/N? It's so nice to see you two here." Momo went up to the both of you and put one of her hands on Han's shoulder and the other on yours.
"Han go ahead and go home today you deserve it."
"A-are you sure Mrs. Hirai?"
"Of course now go ahead and go home."
You waited for Han to leave before you spoke up. "Momo isn't this a bit too much?"
"Mhm? What do you mean Y/N?"
"Don't act dumb. I know you did this to try to keep me here."
"Y/N this isn't about you. I did this cause I thought that the break room could use a renovation."
"H-have you been sleeping?" You noticed Momo sounded tired. You could tell she was acting energetic. Was she really neglecting sleep over you leaving?
"What? Of course I have! What kind of question is that?!"
You let out a sigh filled with concern "Momo I understand you want me to stay but still you shouldn't be doing this to yourself."
She let out a soft chuckle "I already told you it isn't about that. I respect your decision. I'll be in my office if you need me."
What should you say? Should you stop her? "No there's always the chance I'm wrong. Her business doesn't involve me." is what you thought to yourself but you couldn't shake a nagging feeling in your head. You had a feeling you'd find out what it is sooner rather than later.
-
That Night
You were supposed to have clocked out an hour and a half ago. But here you were hiding under your desk waiting for everyone to leave. You wanted proof, you had to see it with your own eyes. Was Momo really neglecting sleep?
The last employee Yu Jimin (Karina) left and you peaked over your desk.
"She's the last one. Now I'm alone, what could convince Y/N to stay? Ah I know but I need to start now or else I won't finish in time."
Momo grabbed her keys for her car and left the office.
"Sh-shes really doing this to keep me around. Shit this is bad I have to make a choice where neither option is good I either stay and continue doing a job I hate for the rest of my life or I leave. But I can't stand watching this. She is probably stressed out because of me so leaving isn't an option but neither is staying here!"
Unsure what to do you stayed around and waited for Momo to return. "Shit, shit, shit what do I do? Why are you stubborn Momo just give up on me I'm not worth it."
After waiting a while you finally heard the doors open.
"What are in the bags she's carrying?"
"Fuck I got lost in the store. I need to get started now."
Momo rushed into the office and started to get what she bought out of the bags. It was ... decorations?
She went around and decorated the office to make it look nice. "But what could possibly be the occasion?" You questioned yourself. You couldn't do anything but watch as your boss ran around putting up decorations.
As much as it pained you seeing your boss run around even though she was clearly tired you were also getting tired. "No not now." you thought to yourself. But it didn't last long eventually your tiredness got the best of you and you fell asleep.
-
Morning
Momo finished decorating the office. She never noticed you hiding under your desk likely due to her exhaustion. You woke up sitting on the cold floor cramped under your desk.
"Ouch I'm never sleeping on the floor again."
You picked yourself up and looked around. You quickly noticed the decorations in your office and decided to check the time. It was still before opening hours. You started to wonder where Momo was in all of this and how she didn't find you when she was decorating your office.
But did you really have time to ponder that? Shouldn't you try to leave before Momo catches you in the building?
As if right in queue Momo walked in the building carrying bags. "Hopefully they should stay warm until Y/N gets here. If not I hope he's okay with reheated food."
"She brought food? But why?" Many questions raced through your head and you considered if you should confront her about this. "Should I confront her? No if I try to confront her now she'll likely be more defensive. If I want to get a real answer from her I'm going to have to do it at the right moment but when would be a good moment for me to get her to tell me the truth." For you this was beyond trying to keep you in the company. Momo must have ulterior motives for trying to keep you around. "Even if she thinks I'm a good employee worth keeping around she wouldn't go to this length to get me to stay so what is it?"
"Maybe I should try to get her to come out and drink with me. But if I do it suddenly she might get suspicious. Ah I got it I'll do it on my last day here at work and will just use the fact that it's my last day as an excuse."
You finally had a plan in mind to get the "truth" from Momo. Now you just had to keep hiding until your shift started so you could "suddenly" show up.
Momo was walking by putting in the finishing touches but suddenly your stomach growled. Since you skipped dinner by staying in the office and hadn't had breakfast you were hungry and your stomach was trying to tell you that but it unintentionally alerted Momo that someone was in the office building. "Is someone there?"
You tried to think of something to do but it was too late she was already heading towards your location. You did the only thing you could think of and that was to pretend you were still asleep.
"Y/N?!"
She found you sitting under your desk.
"Guess he must've fell asleep. But why did he choose to sleep under his desk?" She had many questions but didn't want to disturb you. "Come on Y/N let me put you on the couch." Momo picked you up and carried you to the break room.
But you did notice something while she was carrying you. It was almost as if your heart was speeding up when she laid her hands on you. You also noticed her smell, she smelled perfect. You wanted to be able to smell her scent all day long and were a bit sad when she finally laid you down on the couch in the break room.
"I should've gotten a blanket for the break room" Momo thought to herself. She decided on taking off her jacket and used it to cover you in order to keep you warm.
Momo got a good look at you "Ugh Y/N why do you have to be so ... wait he's sleeping and no one is around so before he wakes up I could ... no wait what am I thinking?! I shouldn't think this!"
She ran out of the break room and that was your queue to "wake up."
Before you got up you took a moment to compose yourself. Your heart was still beating fast from when she carried you to the break room. "All she did was carry me so why is my heart beating fast?"
After a few minutes you were able to compose yourself and left the break room. It was 20 minutes before the office opened.
You didn't see Momo anywhere so you decided to check her office. As you made your way to the office you noticed how the building was decorated. She must've put in a lot of effort while you were sleeping. Honestly you were surprised she did all of this on her own.
Walking up to her door took a deep breath and lightly knocked on her door. "Y/N is that you? Come in."
Opening the door you saw Momo behind her desk working. "I see you finally woke up. Were you crunching numbers too hard yesterday and decided to take a nap under your desk?" You weren't expecting her to have the current demeanor she had but decided to go along with it.
"Yeah I guess I was overworking myself. It didn't help that I stayed up until 1am the night before."
"Geeze Y/N you tell me to get better sleep when I think you should be focusing on yourself."
"Actually I saw the building was decorated did you-"
"No it wasn't me. I actually hired people to come and decorate it."
"You're lying." You thought to yourself.
"What's the occasion?"
"Well today is Karina's birthday. I think it would be a nice change if from now on the building was decorated for peoples birthdays."
"Oh really? Well that's nice but what event should we hold to celebrate?"
"Event?"
"Well yeah, Are you a boring person? I bet you're the type of person that held the most boring parties during college."
"That's not true Y/N! I am a fun person to be around!"
"Prove it to me then."
"How do you want me to prove it to you?"
"Mhm ... How about we go to the bar on my last day. It'll be my treat."
"Fine, I'll show you just how fun of a person I can be Y/N."
"Well I'll see you then Momo."
"Y/N wait do you want to get breakfast with me?"
"Breakfast?"
"Since it'll be a few more minutes before work starts I thought it'd be a nice gesture."
Before you could answer your stomach growled and Momo took that as a yes before you said so. She grabbed your hand "Alright let's go!"
There it was again the butterflies you felt. As Momo was leading you somewhere you were stuck looking at her face, her warm soft hand was wrapped around yours and you were hoping she wouldn't let go.
-
"We're here Y/N. Let's eat inside!" She let go of your hand which made you a little upset inside.
"Welcome, What would you two like to order?"
-
Both of you were seated at a table waiting for your food. Momo was looking around the area and decided to look at the ceiling.
"Y/N look we're under a mistletoe! Should we kiss?"
"I - I - uhm..." Your face was turning red. You looked up and confirmed that you both were sitting under a mistletoe. You knew she said it in a joking manner and likely wasn't being serious but a part of you was hoping she was being serious.
Momo was leaning forward slowly. You noticed and also started to lean forward.
Before your lips could meet the waiter came to deliver the breakfast you both ordered.
They set your food on the table and smiled "I'm sorry am I interrupting something?"
That was enough to snap both you and Momo back into your current situation which caused both of you to jump back on your seats.
"No wait it isn't what it looks like!" Momo exclaimed.
"Don't worry couples come here to share romantic moments all the time."
Unsure of whether you should correct them you looked at Momo to see if she would take the initiative to do but she gave you the same look.
"Well if that's all I'll leave you both to it."
"Y - Y/N I'm sorry I got carried away."
"No I don't mind."
Eating in silence you were waiting to see if Momo would break the silence or if maybe you should.
"Uhm anyways Y/N ... how would you suggest I dress for when we go out drinking?"
"Just anything you want."
"So just whatever I find comfortable?"
"Yeah, It's supposed to be a relaxing event for us so just whatever you want to wear will work."
After finishing breakfast you both returned to the office.
-
5 days until Y/N's last day
You wanted to talk about one of your coworkers to see if anyone else has noticed Momo's change in behavior.
"Mina sorry to bother you while your on break but do you have a minute?"
Myoui Mina was the one directly below you. She was also the person who'd most likely replace you once you left.
She put her phone in her pocket before looking up at you "Go ahead Y/N what's up?"
"Have you noticed Momo's behavior change in the past week or so?"
"Yeah I thought that much was obvious."
"W-wait you knew and you haven't done anything about it?"
"Y/N our job is to sit behind the computer and type some numbers in every now and then. It's better not to get involved in things that don't relate directly to us. You might find something you don't like."
"What are you saying?! Momo could be going through some hard times and you're okay with doing nothing?"
"Even she's replaceable."
"You piece of-"
"Calm down Y/N everything is going to be fine."
"And I'm assuming you know more than you're letting on."
"Of course, but you already know you won't get that information out of me."
"Pft ... bitch."
"Y/N if I may ask why do you care so much? After all your leaving in five days, whether or not this company burns to the ground shouldn't be of any concern to you."
"I - I just care alright? It's basic human sympathy."
"No it's not that. You have never been that type of person. Wait don't tell me you have a little crush on our boss don't you Y/N?"
"What?! No I don't!"
Mina smiled at you. She walked up to you and you started taking steps back until you hit the wall. Her arms trapped you against it and you felt her breath hit your neck.
"Let me give you a piece of advice Y/N. Give up or you might regret what you find."
"What are you-"
In a swift motion Mina kissed your lips briefly. They were soft and moist but as quickly as they came they left.
"If you insist on pursuing what you're doing even after my warning then get used to listening and obeying. She doesn't like the defiant type."
"She? Mina what are you-"
"Sorry Y/N but I'm on the clock again. Consider my kiss a "good luck" charm."
Mina left the break room and went back to her office and you were still against the wall in shock from the events that had just transpired.
"Y/N did you just see a ghost or what?"
"Huh?! Karina when did you get in here?"
You were so caught up in your thoughts you didn't realize Karina walked in the break room.
"You didn't notice me? Now I'm really wondering what's been on your mind."
"What do you know about Mina?"
"Oh I see what's happening here."
"You do?"
"You have a crush on Mina and you blew it just now."
"No you have it all wrong!"
"That's why Mina left looking like that. She was probably pissed off at your lackluster attempt of a pickup line. Don't worry Y/N since I'm such a good co-worker I'll teach you what to do so you can get a date with her."
"Would you look at the time I should actually get going."
"Nuh uh Y/N your staying with me."
Karina proceeded to grab your shoulders and kept you occupied for the rest of your break.
-
Day 0
You were at your house getting ready for the night with Momo. You dressed in what you thought was a nice mix casual and somewhat professional.
Heading out to the bar you were hoping that Momo would open up about what's been troubling her in a more casual setting. If anything else her getting drunk should get her to be more honest.
Finally you arrived and called Momo "Hey I'm here where are you?"
"I'll be there in a bit, just hang on tight for me Y/N."
You let out a sigh and decided to go ahead and go inside. Picking a table in the corner you waited for her to arrive and you didn't have to wait long.
Momo finally arrived but you were a bit surprised by her choice of clothing. From the hat, to the jeans, the jacket, and the tie that covered her cleavage it was all very expressive of her body. Something that you never thought you would catch your boss in.
"Ah there you are Y/N."
She sat down next to you and you had to use every ounce of will power to avoid looking at her chest.
"Y/N I really hoped you would have changed your mind by now but you haven't."
"Mhm yeah sorry but my decision is final."
You noticed something in her eyes once you said that. Almost as if what you said triggered something in her.
"Well besides that let's celebrate you, tonight goes to a better future for you Y/N!"
"Let's go ahead and order our drinks."
-
She has a better alcohol tolerance than you thought. Every time you tried to change the conversation she changed it right back to whatever you were talking about before.
You knew she was still sober enough and you felt like you couldn't drink anymore before you started to get seriously drunk and forget why you invited her out to begin with.
"Are you done Y/N? Do you want to call it a night?"
"No I'm not done yet. I'll get myself another drink."
"I'm not making this night go to waste!"
As you sipped down another glass you started feeling dizzy. But when you looked at Momo you realized she was also starting to feel side effects from the alcohol.
"Hey anyways Momo why don't you want me to leave so badly?" You had to ask now or else you would risk letting yourself get wasted.
"Because I said so!"
"Oh so she's that type of drunk." you thought to yourself.
"I bet I can drink more than you Momo."
"No you cannot Y/N and I'll prove it!"
She grabbed another glass and drank it completely in a few seconds. To see just how drunk she was you wondered if you could hand her one of your glasses and get her to drink it.
Without hesitation she grabbed the glass you handed her and downed it.
"Give me more Y/N I'll drink it!"
"Don't you think you've had enough?"
"No now give me more!"
Momo was starting make a scene so you decided to get her to out of their. "Yah where do you think you're taking me I wasn't done!"
Ignoring her yelling you paid the bill and dragged her out of the building despite her protest.
"Where do you live Momo I'm taking you home."
"I'm not telling! Bring me back to the bar I wasn't finished."
You sighed and figured you'd have to bring her back to your place instead.
The usual small walk to your home felt more like half an hour. "Y/N let me go!" Momo repeated all the way back to your home.
Finally you arrived back home while holding her arm. "Can you calm down?!"
"Nooooo Y/NNN I'm not calming dowwnn!"
"Can ask you something Momo?"
"Not until you get me my drink!"
You sighed and got the bottle of alcohol you had. Getting it out and pouring her a shot and handing it to her. "Now can I ask questions?"
She took a sip before answering you "Fine Y/N-ie just cause you gave me this."
"Cause I looovve you Y/N. Do you know how annoying it is to try to convince your favorite employee that you have a crush on to stay only for them to end up leaving?!"
"You have a crush on me?"
"Of course Y/N but I don't think I'll ever tell you though."
You were shocked. Your boss was in love with you this whole time? "Momo I don't know what to say."
Out of the blue Momo got up and made her way to you. "You know how fucking annoying it is to go and do so much and not have it pay off Y/N?"
"Momo I-"
Before you were able to finish talking she used her finger to squeeze your cheeks. "I don't remember giving you permission to speak Y/N. I don't like the defiant type."
As she spoke those words a memory came back to your mind.
"If you insist on pursuing what you're doing even after my warning then get used to listening and obeying. She doesn't like the defiant type."
Quickly you shut your mouth not daring to speak.
Momo saw what you did and chuckled.
"Did Mina tell you that you should obey me?"
"H-how did you know?"
"How about I show you instead of telling you?"
She quickly shoved you to the floor before you could process her words. A loud "thud" sound echoed through your house and you started to feel pain.
"Ouch!"
Momo took off her top and tie but left her jacket on. Her breasts were now fully exposed for you to see.
"I would let you play with these but since you're no longer my employee then I guess I can't let you." She said this with a grin on her face. Playing with herself and the only thing she let you do was watch.
Momo could see your eagerness to touch her in your eyes. "P-please?"
"Is my baby that desperate to touch a girl's breast? But I thought you said your decision was final or did you change your mind?"
"I changed my mind! Please Momo I can't take the teasing."
"Your erection is growing baby. Want help with that."
"Yes!"
"Hm no. Well at least not on your terms."
Momo was having a power trip. Flaunting her big breasts in front of you and not letting you get the relief you wanted. She laid on you, her breast were being pressed up against you and she started kissing your neck.
"Tomorrow let everyone know who owns you."
"But I have to go shopping tomorrow I don't want everyone to know-"
She grabbed your throat and squeezed it making you unable to breathe. "Disobey me one more time without permission and I'll make you fucking regret it Y/N. Do you understand?"
Tears fell down your eyes and you felt yourself losing consciousness. "Yes I understand please let me breathe!"
"Good now, regarding your statement, I don't care. Let everyone in public know what happened today."
She continued marking you and she didn't stop until your whole face was covered with hickeys.
"Any statements you want to get out before I continue Y/N?"
A little confused on why she was suddenly allowing you to ask a question you asked the first question you could think of "Why are you still wearing the hat and jacket?".
"I like this hat. And the jacket excites me. It makes me feel like we're in my office and I'm fucking you. Obviously I wouldn't dare to actually do it there but it adds to the role-play I guess. By the way want anything else? Maybe a drink or a snack?"
"N-no I'm fine Momo."
Although she was clearly in control over you she still took the time to make sure you weren't in total misery. She still cared about your well-being and a part of you felt slightly relieved that even in an intoxicated state she would still consider your feelings.
Momo took off her pants revealing that she wasn't wearing anything underneath. "Finger me." Not one to question her authority you put 2 fingers in and went at a moderate pace so not to discomfort her.
"Mhm so obedient Y/N but slow down the pace a little bit it feels uncomfortable."
You listened to her and slowed your thrust into her pussy. "Yeah just like that Y/N keep that pace for me."
She pulled off your pants and underwear then proceeded to slowly move her hand along your hardening cock.
Her fingers were so soft yet they ignited something in you. Your sensitive cock was hardening with the feeling of her precious hands running along your cock.
"Speed up your pace and I'll pump your cock faster."
Wanting to release your cum you thrusted your fingers into her wet pussy. Keeping her word she pumped your cock faster as your speed increased.
Momo started playing with her nipples and moans came out of her. "Ugh ~ Ah" Twisting and turning her body from the feelings she was getting you were also getting harder from the feeling of her weight shifting on you. "I can't believe I am fingering my boss while watching her play with herself on top of me!"
"I'm cumming!" Your boss released her cum all over you. Her fluids stained the shirt and fingers and shortly after your semen ejaculated from your cock.
Momo moved, now she was sitting on your face "Lick my pussy while I'm still sensitive!"
You inserted your tongue into her pussy and you licked all around her insides. You got a little daring and tried to grab her breasts.
Out of nowhere she grabbed your wrists all of a sudden.
"You piece of shit. Did I allow you to touch me?"
Fear filled your body and you were unable to move. The room was silent for what felt like hours but was only a few seconds.
"Speak to me you fucking bitch!"
"No you didn't!" Your voice was shaky. Momo could hear the fear that was in your voice.
"Left or right?"
"Right?"
Momo let go of your right wrist and twisted your left wrist so hard until it broke.
"Ow fuck!"
"Maybe this will make you learn your lesson. Now lick my pussy."
Not wanting to lose your other wrist you licked her pussy like your life depended on it. Tears fell down your face from the pain you felt.
Moans fell out of Momo's mouth not caring about whatever pain you could be in. After a few minutes her juices flowed out of her pussy and went in your mouth.
The stream lasted so long you were choking on her cum. Eventually you were able to cough up her cum and avoided death by Momo's cum.
"You taste amazing boss." you said while panting.
She got off your face and kissed you. Taking in her own fluids with her tongue, you were able to taste the sweat dripping off of Momo's face.
Momo got off you and laid on the floor before she went to sleep.
Being too tired you slept on the floor with Momo by your side.
-
You were woken up by a loud scream.
"Y/N what happened?!"
Being too tired to respond you just stayed silent.
Momo started to piece together what happened as she saw her breasts and your cock out along with her mouth tasting like alcohol.
"Oh Y/N I'm so sorry I don't know what came over me!"
"Can you drive me to a hospital? My wrist still hurts after you broke it."
"I broke your wrist?!"
-
You and Momo arrived back at work shortly after your hospital visit. She insisted you don't work due to your broken wrist and with your face being covered in hickeys but you felt guilty for making her drink with you.
As you were walking to your office you heard someone call your name. "Long time no see Y/N."
Turning around you saw Mina
"Momo convince you to stay?"
She ignored the hickeyes all over your face but you weren't about to bring them up.
"Y-yeah."
"Was part of convincing you breaking your wrist?"
"You could say that."
Mina strutted towards you going next to your ear "It's not fair Momo got her turn with you. She won't mind if I share you with her so come to my office during your break Y/N."
Giving you a peck on your cheek before she walked away. She left you standing in the hallway.
"Wait how does she know so much about Momo?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This was actually supposed to be a shorter smut (2,000-ish words) but I got carried away with the story which caused me to delay it.
Not sure if anyone caught it so I'll say it. In the beginning Y/N said "I'm never sleeping on the floor again" but ended up sleeping on the floor again. I just thought it was funny.
-
Unfortunately this wasn't a 20 chapter series. (I really wanted it to, but there's no way I would fit smut in every chapter.)
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