#idk it’s hard to stay happy when I spend so much time alone now I miss driving late at night listening to music with friends so much

[stevesgother]

Savior Complex - S.H

Paring - Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

WC - 1.9k

Warnings - Blood. Mention of vomit. Partial nudity. Let me know if I missed anything!

Authors note - This is my first fic...ever. Constructive criticism always welcome but pls be nice. Takes place directly after the events of S3. Hurt/comfort, angst, acknowledging Steve’s trauma bc damn.

Summary: ANGST, hurt/comfort, happy ending but not a lot of resolution, friends to ? lovers? idk its up to you!

Inspired by my favorite poem of all time, that has always reminded me a little bit of Steve.

“In this space right here that we have made for each other, you can say anything and I will not abandon you. Unwrap the worst things you have done. Watch me hold them up to the light and not even flinch”

The air inside Steve’s car was heavy with tension and the thick July heat.

You sat parked in his driveway, the rest of The Party having dispersed to their own homes; their parents waiting for them with open arms and misty eyes. 

Not you. 

And Certainly not Steve Harrington.

You and Steve weren’t what you would call “close”. Until now, that is. Shared trauma tends to have that effect. He knew you had a tumultuous relationship with your parents, and it didn’t take much deducing to realize his parents weren’t in the picture. Barely in Indiana, let alone spending anything close to quality time with their only son.

The idea of spending the last few hours of this nightmarishly long day in his big, empty house was sounding lovelier by the minute. On the grounds that it ‘wasn’t safe to be alone right now’. You didn’t read too much into it; he was right, after all. Part of you wonders if he just didn’t want to be alone. Sluggish, and noticeably more bloodied than you, Steve made his way to the front door with you in tow. His house was silent; eerily so. Everything pristine and well manicured, as if no one lived there at all. 

“There’s a guest bedroom upstairs, and a bathroom down the hall, to the right. Towels in the cabinet next to the shower.” He doesn’t even look at you as he says it. You try not to feel like you’re burdening him, blaming his avoidance on the exhaustion and not the unwelcome presence of you in his home.

“What about you?”

“What about me?” He finally meets your gaze. The shiner he sports on his left eye is still swollen, but less so. The front of his sailor suit you once thought so endearing, is now stained with blood and vomit.

“You’re bleeding.” You say quietly. “You have -” you wince, “- open wounds on your face Steve. Probably a concussion too and that’s if we’re being modest.”

He wears a tight-lipped expression you can’t quite read. You can tell he’s frustrated, and his exhaustion is bone deep. It nags at your heart. Maybe that’s why you don’t just drop it when he answers you.

“Not my first rodeo, I’ll be fine just-” He pauses, “go shower, and get some rest. God knows this shit won’t just be over come tomorrow.”

You take a tentative step forward. “Please just…just let me help. I can disinfect the cuts around your eye. I was a girl scout! Though in hindsight I realize how useless that sounds and-” you’re rambling now; nervous.

“Stop.” You’re taken aback slightly by his tone, you haven’t known Steve to act hostile. Not in a long time. “I don’t need your help, and I certainly don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not ‘pity’ Steve! Why is it so hard for you to believe someone might want to help you?” You take a step forward from where you stand a few feet from him. You reach up to touch his forehead with the hope of better assessing his injuries.

‘Enough!” He swats your hand away, “God, I should’ve never offered for you to stay here. You think you’re some type of savior, but you’re not.”

His words feel like a knife to the chest. You knew what he was trying to do, you knew he didn’t really mean the things he said. Not when he’s like this. For the first time since you arrived tonight, you thought of how many times he’s had to come back to this empty, soulless house all alone. Damaged, emotionally and physically. Wounds he’s had to patch alone. No gentle caress of another’s hands. Just the stinging of antiseptic in his nostrils, and the heaviness of everyone he’s ever loved abandoning him.

“You don’t mean that.” You say, shaking your head in a disbelieving way.

He laughs, humorless, “Yes I do. I really, really do.” A bitter sharpness to his words. It burns like liquor washing down your throat. “Go.” 

“No!” Now you’re the one raising your voice. “Being stubborn is for when someone is haggling you at a flea market. Not when someone is trying to love you.”

Love. You realize what you’ve said a beat too late, but you stand defiant despite it. You do love Steve. This fact, collecting cobwebs in the back of your brain for months, being spat out onto the floor in front of you both is what compels you to what you do next.

Steve, who was previously standing with this index finger and thumb pinching the bridge of his nose, is now staring at you like a deer in headlights. Before either of you can blink, you’re closing the gap between the two of you, sure of yourself. You wrap him in a suffocating embrace and he struggles against your grip.

“Stop! Please I don’t need you-” He all but shouts. Still, you sense a dent in the armor.  A crack in the wall he’s spent so long building to keep you out; to keep everyone out.

Eventually, he stops struggling. His knees give out from underneath him as the trauma and the pain and the events of today catch up to him. But not just today; a year ago when his girlfriend broke his heart at Tina’s stupid party. When Michael Harrington cut him off on the grounds of him being a disgrace to the family name. Everything flooding back to him all at once. Everything he’s spent his youth avoiding.

You sink to the ground with him, still holding him tight. He stops making an effort to hide his sobs, but instead clings to you like you’re the only tangible thing keeping him here. You sit beside him, with one arm wrapped around his shoulders and your free hand cradling his head to his chest so he can hear your heartbeat. A heart that finally beats for him.

“I know.” You soothe. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” The hair you’re gently stroking, which is usually so voluminous and perfectly styled, is now dampened with blood and sweat.

“I’m sorry-” He sobs, “I'm so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I don’t want you to be sorry. I’m not sorry.” 

He cries harder at that. Shoulders shaking and breath shallow, he looks at you. You cradle his sweet, bruised face in your hands. You think, like a pomegranate, Steve Harrington is beautiful, and worth the mess. Wiping his tears with your thumbs and careful to avoid the cuts and swelling that decorate his face, you give him a smile. Shy, but earnest.

“Can you take me to bed?” He asks you, eyes bleary.

–

Neither of you speak as you turn on the faucet and watch the porcelain tub fill with scalding hot water; still not hot enough to wash away the memories this day has tainted you both with forever. Tentatively, you lift your shirt over your head, and slip your shorts down your scraped legs, revealing your mismatched bra and underwear. A pang of guilt washes over you when you look down and realize Steve took the brunt of the Russian soldiers. He was the bravest and most selfless person you had ever met.

You give him a look that asks “is this okay?” as your fingertips brush the cotton of his ruined Scoops uniform. You aren’t sure what the boundaries are anymore. Momentarily Steve worries this will irreparably change things between you two. He nods anyway. You lift the shirt over his head, catching a glimpse at the real extent of his injuries. His ribs were badly bruised, and he had clotting cuts all over his abdomen. Something swirls in your stomach at the sight of his chest hair. You wish the circumstances of this moment were different.

He pulls his own pants and socks down with a hiss, eyes screwed shut, leaving you both in just your undergarments. He steps into the tub and slowly sinks beneath the hot water. You step in behind him, and he looks over his shoulder at you, a look of confusion contorting his features. You don’t bother to explain, for the fear that speaking would break the trance you both seemingly were under. You had built a space here for each other, one you didn’t want to leave just yet.

Sitting behind him now, you wrap your arms around his chest and pull him flush to you. You rest your chin in the space between his shoulder and his neck, and close your eyes. You can feel how he tries to match his breathing to yours; slow and rhythmic.

You reach up to the hanging shelf on the wall above your head, and grab the cedar and sandalwood body wash. The second you open the bottle, your senses are flooded with him. Only in your wildest dreams did you think you’d ever get to smell his scent in any way other than passing. A slight brush of shoulders in the hallway; a friendly hug when you’d gotten back from a month long vacation.

With a dollop of body wash on a washcloth you found on the edge of the tub, you gently start to scrub the blood and grime off his freckled skin. Like this, you can see every birthmark, every scar, the way the hair at the nape of his neck curls up around his ears in the damp bathroom air.

Steve rests his calloused hand on your knee and squeezes. A silent reassurance that what you’re doing is okay, that he’s okay, that he’s here. Everything feels overwhelmingly intimate as your hands explore his body. You lather his thick, brown locks with the shampoo you found next to the soap. With a heavy sigh, Steve allows his head to fall back into the crook of your neck. He doesn’t tell you, but this is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for him.

You’re not sure how long the two of you sit in the tub together, but at some point he turns to face you, cupping your jaw in his larger hand. The look he gives you is so tender, you think you might cry. His caramel eyes flicker to your lips and back up to your eyes, so fast you would’ve missed it if your senses weren’t dialed up to 11.

With the delicacy of someone touching a flower petal, he closes the gap and presses his cut lips to your soft ones. Hesitant at first, giving you the option to pull away. He fears he may have misread the moment when you separate from him, a look in your eyes that he can’t read. His worry dissipates as you take his face into both of your hands and kiss him deep and slow. You only break when the air feels too stiff to continue, the water droplets accumulating in the air and Steve's kiss making it difficult to catch your breath. His hands slide from where they were grasping your hair, and down to your neck where they stay.

“I love you, too.”

[loycos]

How do you think Ekko feels about Caitlyn and Vi, separately and as a couple? Reed Shannon (Ekko's VA) stated in a post on how Caitlyn found her humanity and grace through her struggles; plus he resposted(?) a meme of Caitlyn alongside Ekko, Jinx, Vi and Isha from that gangster family meme; I don't know if you know the meme, it was the best way I could describe it.

again diving into personal headcanon territory, with a little bit of support from League lore (idk if its still relevant). i feel like i need to explain what my post canon vision for caitvi is to articulate what i think ekko would think of them. ramble incoming:

i think caitlyn and vi are gonna be enforcers again, caitlyn as the sheriff and vi her second-in-command (deputy). caitlyn will try to reform the enforcers with a stricter hand, and a watchful eye. theres a reason she didnt take her seat in the council- caitlyn is all about doing the hard job on location, seeing reality through her own eyes- she doesnt want to help by sitting in a tower and discussing things in theory, shes practical and realistic and she wants to experience the real thing. her job as sheriff will allow her to make that change while still giving her the access to do things on the field.

vi joining tbe enforcers will mainly be done to stay close to caitlyn and protect her if needed. vi never had a big direction in life other than the people she loves- she would jump on the opportunity to spend more time with cait and have the chance to punch people with her big gauntlets. her position as deputy is absolutely unearned in terms of experience or even commitment to the cause- but caitlyn is the sheriff and she put her there, so vi and her can stay close. which other enforcers, and pilties, and zaunites, are extremely aware of. it is corruption, even if relatively unharmful one. having a zaunite as the deputy made a lot of pilties upset, especially when shes so underqualified, and made them question caitlyn's ethics, for good reason. mega especially when vi is known to overall act out of line, cause unnecessary property damage, show overall disrespect to the reformed enforcer protocol and not bind herself to schedules, and yet get absolutely no punishment, let alone acknowledgement of her misdeeds by her boss, who turns a blind eye (wink wink) to her shenanigans.

so yeah, other enforcers are fuming, the pilties arent happy, and zaunites? well, despite caitlyn trying her best to solve the issues that ran years before she was born, there's only so much changing the protocol can do for her. she is harsher on enforcer violence and the prison under her watch has changed to be more humane, but its not like she can control every single enforcer personally. so its not perfect but its slightly better than what it used to be. caitlyn herself has the exact same attitude towards both pilties and zaunites- kind of cold, calculated, no bullshit taken, unapologetic, yet with a layer of empathy underneath the surface. kind of similar to what grayson was. this attitude doesnt win her people's favor on either side, but it does earn her respect- and especially in zaun, where her family status means nothing, that means a lot. she's definitely not a "champion of the people"- i think most people in the city actively dislike her, and the (true) rumors of corruption arent helping.

as for vi, zaunites see her as a traitor. she is known to be kind of a bulldozer that can be quite trigger happy, especially when it involves caitlyn (who we already discussed people dont really like) being in danger or disrespected. she has a dismissive "and what about that" attitude that is very zaun in nature, but since shes now wearing a badge, zaunites get annoyed with. pilties, of course, absolutely hate that attitude. so she isnt seen very favorably either, on either side of the river, just like her girlfriend.

the relationship between them is kind of an open secret. every enforcer in the force knows vi is only in her position cause she "gives caitlyn favors under the table", and those rumors reached topside and bottom as well. and again, they arent untrue, theyre just a relatively mean and shallow reading of the actual relationship between the women. neither caitlyn nor vi ever acknowledges these rumors. they stay at a 6 feet distance from each other while working, but the fact they are so interlinked really leaves no other answer. they know everybody knows, everybody knows that they know, and it's never addressed directly by either of them. their relationship is kind of an anigma to people on both sides- pilties think caitlyn settled for a street rat, zaunites think vi sold her soul to be with a rich pig. no one really knows the history or intimate details about their relationship, for obvious reasons, and thats what it looks like to them on the surface.

righttttt, this ask was about ekko. i got carried away. so ekko. how does he play into all of this? while he's not entirely on the average zaunite camp, he is reluctant to work with caitlyn, but does so anyway because ultimately they share similar goals. while he understands vi better than most people, and knows she always puts her loved ones before any political cause, he can't help but feel a little betrayed by her choice. i think he doesnt really see what vi sees in caitlyn, and since he doesnt "get" that, vi's choice to stay with her at all costs looks odd. especially since caitlyn on the surface just looks like a cold, authoritarian bitch. with good intentions! but still a bitch.

in the end, it all comes down to masks. i imagine post canon caitvi are both sporting masks for protection, and have their walls really high up in public. and can you blame them? they actively wear their weakest spot, their achilles heel- each other- on their sleeve. theyre in public positions, have a lot of eyes on them, and their "professional" relationship is extremely looked down upon. so caitlyn acts colder and harsher, and vi puts on a bravado of "i dont give a shit" and uses violence as a threat to deter people from seeing her as weak. the walls are there to ensure their safety. but like we saw in the series, when its just the two of them, all those walls crumble, and they allow themselves to just be vulnerable.

[yanderes-galore]

Could you write a platonic concept for Kelsey (Fazbear Frights: The new kid)?

Honestly, the book had an interesting plot twist, but i still don't know what that boy is.

I'll see what I can do. The story is good but idk if I can make this that long, I'll try! ^^;

Yandere! Platonic! Kelsey Concept

(Fazbear Frights: The New Kid)

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Social isolation, Dubious friendship, Implied clingy behavior, Gaslighting implied.

Kelsey is someone who's easy to get along with.

In fact he appears to be the perfect person and friend!

It's really... suspicious, actually.

He's too perfect.

Kelsey is extremely nice and has perfect looks.

He immediately gets along with everyone at school.

He even speaks with you.

He's so perfect even you fall for his charisma and charm.

When he asks if you want to hang out and be his friend you accept eagerly.

You don't suspect there's anything wrong with him at first.

Kelsey's perfection is certainly not human.

Yet most others around him are so caught up in how nice he looks and acts that they don't realize he's abnormal.

There's just something wrong with his wide blue eyes and smile...

But it's hard to figure out what.

Kelsey would just act like the perfect friend.

Everyone wants to hang out with him but what's weird is Kelsey only wants to hang around you.

You don't think there's anything wrong with that, maybe he's overwhelmed and you just so happen to be the person he's most comfortable with?

Kelsey would come off as someone wanting to be on your good side.

He looks like a person who just wants a friend and is adamant on being yours.

Did you... look like someone who needed a friend?

I feel you'd slowly start to reconsider how you feel about Kelsey the longer you know him.

That feeling of perfection slowly melts away, making you wonder if Kelsey is even human.

He just feels so... artificial?

He isn't even that much of a yandere, just... a strangely supernatural friend.

Kelsey doesn't ever part from you and it's just eerie.

He's always hovering around you, bringing attention to himself wherever he goes.

At some point his constant attention makes you unnerved.

He feels off.

He seems so happy to be around you... even when you're doing nothing.

Maybe you'll even grow scared of Kelsey because of how inhuman he feels.

You can try to part from him, but he never leaves you alone.

People call you crazy... saying you're just paranoid.

Kelsey's a totally normal guy!

Is... is he really?

Maybe you are being scared of nothing... Kelsey's just trying to be a good friend!

Unfortunately you're never able to completely shake the feeling of something being wrong around him.

No person is this good.

You aren't even sure why he's so desperate to hang around you!

He's always somewhere around you... those blue eyes of his digging into your soul as he offers to spend time with you.

You give in at times and... have a lot of fun, actually.

The issue is... you're never alone.

Sounds nice, right?

Not when you hear knocking on your door and Kelsey's voice asking to be let in.

Any friends you once had leave because they either think you're crazy for hating/being scared of Kelsey or they just... go missing.

Ever since Kelsey came to your school you've slowly grown more alone...

Now Kelsey is the only one there for you.

Now... Kelsey is your only friend.

Your best friend....

Once Kelsey situates himself in your life, you two hang out all the time.

What else are you supposed to do?

You're never alone... even if you want to be now.

Your friends left... but Kelsey has stayed.

Kelsey reassures you he'd never leave his best friend.

So... it's just you and him now.

It's perfect... just like him.

[tapiokauwu]

ok guys...

sorry, I disappeared yesterday because I realized that I'm splitting on my best friend and now I want to kms because my mind won't stop telling me that I should isolate myself and disappear and leave everyone alone...

I also hate that my best friend is busy but I feel guilty because damn I should be happy that she has dreams and goals... like, I know most people are not like me lol

I have nothing I can actually look forward to, I just survive, I exist on this planet, I stay at home all day and most of the time I don't even get dressed and just wear my pajamas.

I know it, I've always known that she was different from me... she always has that light in her eyes when she talks about art and she loves drawing and painting and I enjoy seeing her happy doing something that she likes...

but I don't have anything like that. I spend my days playing videogames and reading comics, fighting against mood swings and the urge to die. My whole life is just trying to escape reality and distract myself from everything. I'm always bored to death so I have to do something that keeps my mind in another world so I don't see this reality I live in.

She used to play Genshin with me but now she's busy with art school and spends most of her time drawing, she doesn't play much anymore and logins like once every month... I rarely go outside even tho we hang out once in a while, but every time we do I feel like I'm a burden and I wish I was a better person so she could feel proud of me.

I'm so fucking useless. I dropped out of highschool because it didn't matter how smart I was and how hard I tried, everything just kept falling down. Everything I try fails miserably, whether it's my fault or not. I don't feel capable of finding a job and working because I always end up having a derealization episode that lasts hours and/or feeling very physically and mentally tired after only a couple of hours (even if it's not a tiring job) and at that point I feel sick and I become inefficient. And I have to mask. I constantly have to mask. Which is VERY DRAINING.

I've always been the "weird one" and the "psycho", but there are still people like my father who say shit like that my sh is "stupid" or strangers who tell me I should stop because "it hurts"... there's nothing in between, it's always "exaggerated" and "a phase" or "toxic" and "ew stay away from me". Like, I'm sorry man, I just want to live and be loved and do what everyone else does, but I just can't. It's like watching people do something fun and be happy and laughing together from behind a blurred window, and even tho I keep looking for a way to go outside and join them I can't find it. Thinking about it, even if I managed to escape and approach those people, they would just run away with a disgusted face like I did something wrong.

Idk what to do with this life anymore...

[an-au-blog]

Just craving fluff and imagining College Au Shuggy celebrating the holidays by just doing very unchristmassy things together. They both seem like the type to like certain aspects of Christmas only to then be hit by waves of depression when the actual holiday arrives, so they just huddle under the covers together and watch Christmas classics such as “Die hard” or Gremlins together instead while eating Pizza and drinking eggnog till they can’t stand this stuff for another year. Buggy gives Shanks his gift at 2 am in the morning, an extremely ugly and old tacky sweater he found at a thrift shop a while ago. Shanks can immediately tell that it was cheap and Buggy most likely just went out and got him… SOMETHING, but also it’s hideous in a way he just adores and it has one of his favorite childhood cartoon characters on it and the fact alone Buggy went out and got him something is PERFECT and to Buggy’s horror that thing is gonna be his favorite sweater till the end of time. Buggy on the other hand suffers a mild mental breakdown and “Oh god I am the scum of the earth” reaction because Shanks actually went into a makeup store and got him an expensive eyeshadow Palette that Buggy has been eyeing for a while now. Kicker is Shanks didn’t even know that’s the Palette Buggy wanted, he legit just spent an hour in there with a picture of Buggy describing what Buggy looks for in makeup and what colors he likes and such and such and accidentally just landed on the correct one and rightfully deducted that he would probably like this one.

“WHY DID YOU GO AHEAD AND BUY ME THAT YOU HORRIBLE, UNFLASHY FANTASTIC BOYFRIEND?!” “I thought it would make you happy.” “IT WOULD IF I GOTTEN YOU ANYTHING GOOD AS WELL!! JUST A BED BATH AND BEYOND GIFTCARD WOULD HAVE BEEN WORSE!!” “Come on Buggy I love this thing-“ “THIS IS LIKE GIFT OF THE MAGI IF IT SUCKED EVEN MORE THAN IT ALREADY DOES!” “You could always kiss me to make up for it.” “I ALREADY DO THAT.” “Then let me kiss you… AND you’ll have to let me do it for the entire day without telling me I’m being sappy or disagreeing with me when I talk about how much I love you.” “…. Okay but you’re not allowed to say weird shit about my nose.” “…Can I kiss your nose?” “Ugh. I’ll allow it. But not in public!” “Deal. I won’t talk about how cute and kissable your nose is and I especially won’t talk about how cute and kissable it is in front of other people.” “YOU JUST- AUGH! You’re horrible! An absolutely awful boyfriend!” “Glad to have landed someone as amazing as you then.” “You-“ “Ah! We agreed on not disagreeing when I talk about how great you are!” “….fine.” “I love you... and I love how hard you blush when you can’t answer with a sassy comeback” “….mmmmnnnggghh!!! loveyoutoo.”

At first I was like "awww this is so adorable:')" but thwn I got to the dialogue part and went "ok, so we're assuming they're gonna get together, now are we ahahah"

I'm guessing you're the same anon who sent me a couple other college au asks - so first off: Thank you, you honestly keep me productive and remind me to finish this fic lol (since I named some of the others, maybe I can call you ogan - bc og anon or something idk, you can refuse or give me another nickname if you want...)

But also... have I given any indication that this will be a story with a happy end? Because, I've written ends with a doomed one sided love triangle, one of the main characters being hated by the love of their life and in a hospital, while the one the other was chasing rejected them indefinitely... it was my magnum opus for quite a while, so who's to say I'll give this one an ending like that?

I'm joking, I'm joking... or am I >;]]]

Anyway, I love the idea of them spending the holidays together! Buggy doesn't really have any close relatives to go to, all his friends went home, and thinks that Shanks is the same way, because why else would he stay behind with him?

Shanks is just so happy that he can finally be with his boyfriend. He makes hot cocoa (and it's horrible, but Buggy remakes it), he buys a cardboard cutout of a Christmas tree and they put stickers on it instead of decorations. At one point they start printing out memes and pictures of themselves and stick them on there as well. (Shanks secretly writes a wish, something cheesey like how he wants them to be like this for the rest of their lives, on the back of some of the photos)

In all reality, I believe that "Die Hard" and "Home Alone" (because these two franchises are basically the same, just one is kid coded lol) would be both Shanks and Buggy's favourites. I mean look at how they turned out ahahaha tho I must confess, I've never seen Gremlins, so I'll just trust you on that one':)

I also think thay Buggy would get horrible gifts very purposefully. Like he would look for hours to find the most raggedy and washed out looking sweater with the ugliest print of like... a green cow on red mars with a Christmas hat on both the cow and mars saying "moo-ry christmas" in comic sans or something horrifying like that. Like that one video of the guy who bought a card for the wrong occasion, for wrote a message to someone else and scratched out the name to look like it was a second hand card. I couldn't find the og video but I found this tiktok, hope it helps with the explanation.

In my mind Buggy thinks it's hilarious. Him and Shanks both love pranks and just jokes like this in general, so he would get it, right? Shanks liking it unironically wasn't in the plan. But then bad comes to worse and Shanks takes gift giving seriously - Buggy is caught off guard.

I love the image of Shanks standing in the cosmetics section of a big store that was one of the best according to google. He's just staring intensely, and color checking, and googling, and staring again - trying his best to remember everything Buggy had told him about make-up.

At some moment in the time he's searching, one of the workers there goes up to him to see if he needs help thinking "aw, poor lost man looking for something for his girlfriend, he looks like he needs help" and then Shanks shows her a picture of an honest to God clown going "I want the best for my boyfriend". And they have a little "This is your man?" "yeah" "Look at the picture" "that's mine :')" "and you're ok with this?" "imma stick beside him " moment. And then they just start looking together. Before they notice it's a whole horde of helpers and Shanks going all, "is that teal? I think he said he loves teal, but not one with glitter, wait, bring back the cherry red. Can you compare it to the sour cherry. Which one would match his lipstick best? This one's his favorite." and they're like a council, super invested at that point.

I also like to think that on new years eve, they're watching a marathon, and Buggy just falls asleep on Shanks's chest halfway through. He does that often and Shanks loves it. He doesn't even care that much that sometimes his make-up would be imprinted on his shirt .

Shanks showing love to Buggy's nose, despite his insecurities, makes me melt. (spoilers ig:) I was going to have a little dialogue/confrontation that portrayed that, but I was going to make it a "Shanks not caring about it and just acting like it's not there" thing, but him actually thinking it's cute and being all loving towards the one thing he's most insecure about is actually way better. I might utilize it later on lol :))

[alyjojo]

September 🏋🏽‍♂️ 2024 Monthly - Scorpio

Preshuffle: It was a message - there is nothing you can do about the impulsive, fun, immature-ish? energy in someone else that is otherwise practical & totally stable. It’s part of them. Could be dealing with a fire moon/rising.

Meditation: A crouching tiger 🐅 getting ready to pounce on another crouching tiger, very intense, they both attack and start wrestling all over the place - and the scene/camera pans out to see dozens of other tigers. Google: a pack of tigers is called an “ambush.” The two fighting are siblings.

Main energy: 7 Pentacles

What’s going on in September:

Wheel of Fortune rev, Ace of Pentacles, Justice, The Hermit & 7 Swords

This reading is keeping it 💯 I respect that. Ain’t shit happening this month 😆

7 Pentacles is the energy of having just planted a whole field of something, it’s been watered and cared for, now you’re just waiting for it to grow, and the Desert & Planning oracles with The Hermit…you’re going to be spending some time doing solo activities, catching up on shows and sleep - saving your money seems to be a big part of the reason. I do see an opportunity to have fun with friends/family, but there’s a waiting period for that so maybe someone’s birthday is later in the month.

Wheel of Fortune is rev so you’re coming out of a time of difficult cycles and lessons, you had a lot going on and it was hard to just…chill. Sit. Breathe. You can do that now. Geranium shows you as a flower 🌺 in a brand new squishy pot with lots of room to grow, 7 Pentacles is just a period of waiting to grow, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Treat yo’self. Those of you that are trying to date might go out once but I see you largely throwing in the towel this month. All of the fish are poison ☠️🤣 I’m seeing this 7 Swords card where the boy is carrying 7 fishing poles and I lost it, some of you are on dating apps trying to see what’s out there and throwing them right back when you try. BAD FISH 👎 Some of you may have had a bad experience with a Pisces, that’s the only sign showing up repeatedly. You could’ve had to spend a lot on something legal, parking ticket, child support, public intoxication…etc. or needing to spend money on some kind of repair or necessity has left you checking the couch for quarters (does anyone even do that anymore?) Your reading is cracking me up, some of you are naturally very funny with sarcasm, and have no lack for admirers & potential friends. I do see one around at some point, friend, co-worker, or potential partner idk, they could be just falling off the planet & ghosting. Or you are. Could be a bad fish.

Most of you are putting effort into your own self care, peace of mind, tending to your home, kids, family, etc. Some may even be declining an invitation to celebrate and staying in instead. It’s an energy of “I need to wash my hair.” Do people say that anymore? This reading…7 Swords shows avoidance, you’re avoiding everyone. Could be a parent, a spouse, especially an ex-spouse, or friends/coworkers that want to go to happy hour on a random Friday; you will happily decline and enjoy your peace and quiet at home, thank you, it’s the reunion of some old show you’ve binged watched 100 times 🏡

Side story: you may have cut off someone who was sneaky, deceptive, trying to get away with some shit and there’s been a final decision made to separate from that. You or them. Someone could be waiting on the outcome of a divorce or that could be this month and you’re “celebrating” alone, at a new beginning that’s not all that new because you’ve already planted 7 seeds here, its only a matter of time before your next harvest/bounty - financially, I assume. Most of you are quietly strategizing your next move with Planning Phase & 7 Swords, this is intellectual strategy & focus being shown. Like playing chess ♟️

Signs you may be dealing with:

Pisces, Taurus, Libra & Cancer

Oracle: ✨

32 Struggle 🥴

Struggle is a part of life - so much so that you probably know people who seem to constantly attract one struggle after another into their lives. This is their comfort zone. While struggle is natural, it is natural only so far as it lends itself to learning lessons and overcoming inner personal challenges. Beneath every one of these struggles is the gift of enlightenment. The satisfaction of a lesson learned. Use this knowledge as the light at the end of your dark tunnel. What lesson is this struggle teaching you? Alternately, after a brief setback, this situation will start to right itself.

Carried Away 🥰

Let yourself be caught up in the whirlwind of a romantic moment.

Desert of Isolation 🏜️

Traverse the desolate spaces of solitude to uncover reflections and resilient survival.

Planning Phase 🤔

Take a step back and plan the necessary steps to move forward so you may turn your goals into reality.

We enter into September as:

Geranium 🌺:

“This is another beginning.”

What appears to be an end may not be one after all. Often situations that generate our greatest fears turn into remarkable opportunities. It’s time to let go of the past, and trust that whatever is coming is better than what you’ve known to this point. You are ready to begin again. A new opportunity is coming from a place you don’t expect. There is a regeneration of some kind going on. Whatever you were pulled away from in the past was for the purpose of bringing you to a higher place. It’s time for whatever has been dormant to bloom again. Trust there is a higher plan. This is truly an exciting time.

What is to be learned in September:

Topaz 💛

“If I seek peace, I must embrace my fears.”

Topaz speaks: “To be enlightened is to realize that to gain peace, fear in the heart must be faced.” If Topaz has come to you, he is telling you that it is time to stop talking about what you intend on doing. You must just do it. Things happen for us when we take action, which is the only way to break through what is holding us back. The change that is called for here is surrender, which is an action in itself. No great tasks were ever achieved easily. Remember we do a lot to avoid what we feel will hurt us; you must understand that the pain will recede if you face your fears, allowing you to walk through to the other side. Topaz whispers “Pray for guidance and you will be assisted.” Do not despair, for if Topaz has come to you, relief awaits. By facing your fears, peace and enlightenment will be your reward. That is the gift. All you need to do is ask.

Topaz may be a lucky color 💛

[fisherpiers]

Could you do a prompt where Luz and Hunter are not a double date with Amity and Willow (but Luz is a lil nervous about seeing Amity-  whether they broke up or not idk- You can pick) leading to Luz and Hunter’s first kiss or ‘I love you’?

Boy someone’s getting more than I bargained for… you expected a little drabble? Well no sorry just straight up 3600 word one-shot for you. I had too much material. Oh and heads up Flapjack is not dead. Idk where people are getting that idea smh.

Edit: psst. I sorta rewrote this one a little and you can read that version here

Edit edit: pls pls pls read the ao3 version lmao it has like 500 extra words and it flows much better (link above in previous paragraph)

…

Luz didn’t just have a few butterflies in her tummy, she had an entire butterfly conservatory.

Tonight was going to be the first time she’d have to spend an entire evening with Amity since she’d broken things off with her a few months ago. A double date. A double date with her ex… why did she let Willow talk her into this?

Willow had been trying to get Luz and Amity alone in the same room forever. Something about getting along and the power of friendship and yadda yadda..

And Luz really wanted to smooth things over Amity, honest. For Willow’s sake. It was just too awkward.

It’s weird right? When your best friend and your ex girlfriend get together. And you’re happy for them? You’re glad she’s able to make your ex happy like you couldn’t, but also what the hell man.

But it’s not like you haven’t already moved on, too. Uh, well, you sorta moved on before ending the relationship. That was why you broke up with her. So really you can’t be slightly mad here.

But your boyfriend also left Willow for you? And that’s weird too? But you and Willow are still besties bc #Hexsquad4Life and all that?

SO! To make things worse you’re now bringing the guy you broke up with your with ex for, on a double date with said ex, with his ex, and wowsers there’s a lot to unpack here.

It’s just all over awkward! Okay?!

No wonder Gus keeps taking his exchange students on long trips into the human realm. They’re probably giving him ulcers from all this drama.

The good news was that Willow and Hunter were the ones taking care of all the plans. All Luz had to do was show up. Which, is gonna be hard as hell to do in the first place.

She’ll admit, it’s kinda weird that Hunter was still all buddy-buddy with Willow, as well. But Luz wasn’t threatened by that.

She was 100% sure Hunter wanted her, and only her. Their was something about the way he treated her that left her no room for doubt. He was so tender with her. The ways his eyes promised her anything if she’d only ask—

Anyways!

Hunter’s breakup with Willow went so smoothly, in fact it was the most amicable breakup Luz had ever seen (and had been in the middle of). Which, of course. If there was anyone who could’ve actually stayed friends after their romantic relationship ended, it was those two. Not even a snag in their typical antics, their dynamic remained undisturbed.

Which was a little suspicious, now that she thought of it.

She never even once saw them kiss. She never saw them go out (without her or Gus tagging along, that is)…

However, they did hold hands every second of the day without stop. Which made it impossible to talk to Hunter without Willow there and it annoyed Luz to no end. Glued at the hips much? Wait,

It was almost as if they weren’t actually dating, just trying to get under her skin. And Amity’s too, by the looks of it…

Those cheeky buggers.

Well. Maybe things aren’t as weird with Willow and Hunter as she thought. So it looked like she, and probably Amity, were going to be the only ones suffering tonight. Yay.

Luz sorted through her clothes, trying to pick an appropriate outfit to no avail. What do you even wear to a double-date with your ex? Something extra hot to sorta say haha look what you’re missing? Something your new boyfriend bought you because he’ll love to see you wear it and simultaneously tell everyone you’re with him now?

Titan, she didn’t even think about all the people at the restaurant.

What were they going to think with the four of them together? Would it be confusing? Would they be watching for a fight, popcorn ready?

This was one of the many downsides to being one of the most recognizable faces in the Isles, an unwillingly celebrity. Everyone knew you and all your business.

She settled on a simple black shirt and slacks. Classic, right? Dressy enough for the nice restaurant Willow had picked out (probably in an attempt to keep things civil, bound by social contract and all) and not showy. It was an outfit that didn’t say anything. Which was probably for the best.

Just one thing. A necklace, from Hunter. It was a pendant he carved himself, an old light glyph. He gave it to her years ago, when he had just started his apprenticeship and was excited about carving. Amity had hated this necklace. Luz couldn’t ever figure out as to why, until lately. It was such a simple little thing, and it wasn’t like it was ugly.

But now Luz understood, it was a piece of Hunter. He had thought of her and carved her a necklace, unprompted. It was a gift, given on no special occasion. He just wanted to give her something. And she wore it around her neck proudly.

Of course Amity hated that.

She was absolutely going to wear it to this double-date. It’s not like it was one of his earrings or anything. No big deal, but enough to send a message.

Hunter knocked on her door. She knew it was him, with the little pattern he knocked on the wood. The sound comforted Luz.

She glanced over herself in the mirror once again before getting the door. Well, here goes nothing.

Hunter looked as handsome as ever, eagerly waiting with his hands behind his back as she opened the door. Once he saw her, his face lit up.

“You ready, Mi Amor?”

He offered his hand, and Luz took it.

“Mi Amor?”

“Cariño! Corazón! Mi Vida!”

“Okay, okay,” Luz laughed, “I get it you googled ‘pet names Español’”

“That’s where you’re wrong, actually. I’ve had these babies under my belt for years,”

Luz raised her eyebrows at his statement,

“I found them to be very important to memorize back when Gus had everyone practicing our Español everyday stuck in the human realm.”

Luz gaped at him, “Titan, you really meant years, huh?”

“I did indeed,” he looped their arms together, “now, let’s get going to our dinner reservations,”

“Ughhhh,” Luz protested, “do we have to? Actually, uh, I think I’m coming down with something, [cough cough] see?”

Hunter put his hand on her forehead mockingly, “oh you poor baby. Get on the staff.”

Hunter straddled Falpjack and patted the empty space behind him, beckoning for her to join him.

“Fine,” she pouted as she wrapped her arms around his waist, holding on tight as they took off, “but I’m not talking to her.”

Hunter sighed, “that’s fine. You just have to exist in the same space as Amity for a while and Willow will be happy.”

Luz hummed in agreement, pressing her face into his back as the world flew by. One of the downsides of air travel (or at least with The Flash over here) was that you got to your destination quite quickly. So there was no real time to spend staring out at the passing scenery, dreading your arrival.

“Actually,” Hunter laughed, “maybe it’d be better if you don’t talk to her. Then you won’t be able to start any fights!”

“Hey!” She squeezed his ribs, “I can be civil!”

“Then be civil.”

“I will,” she stuck out her tongue at him, despite him not being able to see it.

They touched down outside of the restaurant, which was hanging off of the Left Arm, and Flapjack took his place nesting in Hunter’s pocket. The little cardinal made himself very comfortable, as always, but that meant Hunter had grass and leaves in the pockets of every piece of clothing he owned.

The restaurant’s view was incredible, thanks to the Titan’s new position. All the new buildings on the Left Arm had the most beautiful views now, and the real estate value had skyrocketed. It was even more expensive than the Knee now. Luz preferred Bonesboro, anyhow.

The place was fancy. Going on a date in a ritzy establishment like this would’ve been unthinkable to 14-year-old Luz, but now she was used to getting invited to parties like this. She rarely went to them, but boy, did those rich people like to use her presence as a status symbol. “Look, I’m so popular even Luz Noceda is here” Barf.

She tightened her grip on Hunter’s arm as they spotted Willow and Amity, already at the table waiting for them. Willow waved them over, smile as wide as ever.

She was wearing a beautiful green skirt, that shimmered like an emerald, with a yellow cardigan on top, embroidered with little bumble bees. She must have gotten that from the human realm.

Amity was wearing a simple black dress.

Dammit. She must have had the same idea. And now they match.

No matter. Luz pointedly sat across from Willow instead of Amity. Which left Hunter vulnerable and having to look Ames in the eye, but Luz was allowing herself this bit of selfishness. Hunter was the one who dragged her here anyway. He could deal.

Didn’t keep Amity from locking eyes with her the second she sat down. Damn. She darted her gaze away as fast as she could.

“Hello ladies,” Hunter greeted as he sat down in his own chair, after pushing Luz’s in.

Normally she loved how over the top he was, but right now she needed him to tone it down. She could feel the eyes of every other patron in the dining room on her.

“So, what’s good here?” Luz nervously asked as she hid her face in her menu.

“Not much,” Amity said dryly, “this place is famous for its tiny portions and fancy ingredients that taste like dirt.”

“Shhh, don’t scare them, sweet pea,” Willow pointed to a section on her menu, as Luz tried not to cringe at how close sweet pea was to sweet potato, “Skara says the Selkigris Soup is to-die-for.”

A very vivid memory, of a very strong smell, surfaced in Luz’s mind.

“Uhhh, I think I’ll pass on that one, Willow, because,” she tried to think up an excuse, “uh, I don’t think I can digest selkigris very well.”

“Oh, of course, I hadn’t even thought of that.”

“Yeah uh,” Luz scanned the menu as fast as she could, to make it seem like she had totally been paying any attention to the piece of paper she’d been using as a mask, totally, “looks like they have Griffon Quiche. That’s usually pretty safe for me.”

“Oh that sounds delicious! There’s so many options, how am I gonna decide?” Willow giggled.

“I’m gonna get a spider soufflé, so I can send a pic to Gus,” Hunter joked, “it’s his favorite, maybe he’ll wish he came along.”

Willow stifled a laugh, “that’s mean, Hunter. You know he had to stay behind because Matt is sick.”

“Haha, I’m still going to tease him, though.”

Yeah. Matt was real sick, Luz bet. Dammit. Curse Gus and his ability to weasel his way out of this. She’ll pay him a visit whenever Mattholomule “gets better”.

Sigh, it’s not like she could blame him.

The way Amity leaned back in her chair, taking a really long sip from her wineglass, made Luz sure that she was thinking the same thing.

***

“Okay so a beast-demon, bidped-demon, and a bug-demon walk into a bar…”

Luz had to hand it to Amity, she was right. The food was tiny and gross. Titan almighty, she’ll never understand high-class tastes.

It didn’t look like Hunter minded it one bit, however. All these years later and the boy was still just happy to have anything that wasn’t the castle’s tasteless “nutritionally complete” rations. It was endearing.

It was lucky for Luz, really, because she still wasn’t the greatest cook. But Hunter always cleared his plate and told her he enjoyed it, so genuinely that she was inclined to believe him. Not like when Amity kept baking those horrific fairy pies and she just had to take them with a fake smile.

It was really easy to tell when Hunter was lying. His ears twitch.

Right now, he was laughing with Willow about a joke Luz hadn’t been listening to. She pushed some food around on her plate, bored, wanting this night to hurry and be over already.

This was probably a good enough time as any to excuse herself for a moment. Maybe check her hair in the mirror. She knew she’d been running her hand through it all night so far, it was a nervous tick. Maybe if there wasn’t anyone else in the restroom she could scream.

She scooted her chair out and stood.

“I’m—“

“Going to the—“

“Restroom…”

“For a moment…”

She locked eyes with Amity, across the table. Someone should call jinx.

Fuck, now she had to go with Amity. It’d be more awkward to sit back down and admit she wanted to avoid the other witch. So much for her “little break”.

One look at Amity’s face and Luz could tell she was also mentally going over her options and accepting defeat.

They walked side by side, not talking. The other patrons glanced at them as they walked by. Someone even raised an eyebrow upon seeing them. They kept death-marching in silence. Damn this was awkward as hell.

Luz looked haggardly in the mirror, clutching the sink.

Yeah, she had mussed up her hair a lot. She tried to fix it with some water, but it was a little too far gone for that.

Amity came up to the sink beside her, washing her hands. Luz looked to the ground, anywhere but at her. The restroom tiles were very lovely, actually. Such a nice pattern.

There was a nautical theme to this room. The sinks crafted to look like seashells. Not that strange for an Arm building, but Luz still found it cheesy. Fake pearls adorned the mirrors. Well, now that she thought of it, with this place, they were most likely real pearls.

“Thank you.”

Luz was caught off guard.

“What?”

“Thanks for coming,” Amity swished a piece of her purple hair behind her ear, “I know you didn’t want to. But it means a lot to Willow, you doing this,”

“Oh—“ that’s all Luz could say. “Uhhh. Yeah.”

The walk back to the table was no less agonizing.

When they got back, the dishes had already been cleared. Willow was doing something to the flowers in the centerpiece. The blooms were switching between hues.

“Guys, look,” Hunter kissed Luz’s hand absent-mindedly as she sat back down, “whenever Willow changes the color, the manager gives us a dirty look. She’s messing up his perfect color pallet or something.“

Luz and Amity looked to where he was pointing, and yes, the manager looked furious. Luz couldn’t stop the snort that came from her at the sight.

“We already ordered desert, while you two were in the restroom,” Willow stopped messing with the flowers to turn to Amity, “it’s a surprise now, sorry.”

“I like surprises,” Amity giggled.

Took everything within Luz not to roll her eyes.

Hunter’s hand found hers under the table. He gave her a little squeeze. Yeah, she needed that.

The mystery desert Hunter and Willow had ordered turned out to be just a couple slices of devil’s food cake. Just regular, not bug-filled, run of the mill cake. Because human sweets were all the rage right now, apparently.

And chocolate was a delicacy on the Isles. Luz would know, she spent many a weekend “importing” the stuff with Eda. It was the easiest way to make a quick buck around here, thanks to most witches being to afraid to venture into the human realm on their own.

Hunter held a spoonful from their shared plate up to Luz’s mouth. She bashfully took the bite. This wasn’t the first time he’d done this, on the contrary, he fed her all the time. Even a lot before they were together. Like when he’d feed her chips while her focus was locked onto a video game, or when he’d want her to taste test what he was cooking…

So he probably thought nothing of the action, but Luz was a bit embarrassed he was doing this in front of her ex girlfriend. She picked up her own spoon and made sure he didn’t have the opportunity to do it again.

The waiter had brought them the check with the desert. And once they laid out their payment it was quickly collected and their receipt promptly given to them. The fastest Luz checkout had ever seen. It was hilarious. The manager clearly wanted them gone as soon as possible.

As the group stepped outside, Willow pulled both Luz and Hunter into a hug. The three laughed, smiles wide.

“I love you guys! We should do this again sometime! Have a nice night!” She bid them goodbye.

“Peace,” Amity threw up the sign with her fingers to go along with the farewell.

The couple summoned their palismen and took off into the night. Luz turned back to Hunter, who was still watching their fleeting forms.

“Is this where the night ends?”

Hunter pretended to think, stroking his barely-there beard that he should really start trimming into a goatee.

“Hmm. Nah.”

“Well, then where to next?”

Flapjack flew out of his pocket, transforming into a staff midair that Hunter than caught with a flourish. Luz knew Hunter practiced tricks like this with Flap, so instead of appreciating how cool that actually looked, she couldn’t help but giggle in response. His gap teeth looked adorable as he grinned at her.

“There’s a show in Latissa we could make?”

“Lead the way, hotshot.”

***

Latissa was significantly cooler than the Left Arm. Lack of boiling sea spray.

The garage band played horrendously. Whoever these bards were, they needed to get kicked from the coven. Seriously, what was this. Titan, it was absolutely grating.

There were people standing all around, hooting and hollering. Guess Luz wasn’t the target audience, and with one look at her boyfriend, she could tell he wasn’t either. Hunter was staring straight ahead, spaced out. She tugged on his hand. He immediately gave her attention, scanning her for problems.

“Are you cold? Do you want my jacket?”

Luz laughed, “Actually, I was thinking we could get out of here,

He nodded, as she reached up to him,

“I will take that jacket, though.”

He quickly shrugged the hoodie off and draped it over her shoulders. She took a sniff of the collar out of habit. Hunter looked amused at the gesture.

“There is somewhere else I want to go, before we leave town,”

“Where?”

“You’ll see.”

“Oh we’re gonna be cryptic now, huh?”

“Yep.”

Luz playfully rolled her eyes, “how long then?”

“Oh it isn’t very far. We could walk, even.”

“Sounds good to me,” Luz offered up her arm for him to interlock with his, as she let him lead her to wherever this mystery place was.

He lied. It was across town. Not close-by at all. It was quite the walk, but it was time spent together, so she didn’t mind.

“Where did you even hear about that show? That band was awful. Good thing bards wear a lot of red because they’re gonna get tomatoes thrown at them one day,”

Hunter laughed boisterously, “HA! Yeah, they stunk,” he mimed wiping a tear from his eye, “I just heard about it in the shop one day. Some guys were talking about it.”

“Well those guys have bad taste. They were so bad,”

“So bad,” he agreed, “But it’s fine. I just wanted an excuse to get you to Latissa.”

That caught her curiosity, “why?”

“Well,” he ducked into the alleyway in front of them, leading her by the hand, “we’re here actually.”

“… a dirty alleyway?”

“Our dirty alleyway,” he smirked.

Hunter started climbing up the fire escape, stopping to help her get a foothold as well,

“C’mon!”

Luz had a feeling she knew where they were going. She clambered up after him, finally reaching the top, where she was greeted with a familiar rooftop.

“I can’t believe it’s still up here,” she gasped.

Hunter patted the bricks where the old painted lines of a large glyph still decorated the wall, “I know right, you would’ve thought the rain would’ve washed it away by now, after all these years…”

“Huh,” Luz marveled, “this was a nice surprise.”

He stepped closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She looked up at him, eyes wide.

“Hey,” he began, “I’m sorry about tonight.”

“You don’t need to apologize,”

“Yeah, yeah I do. This was a shitty thing to do to you, putting you through this. I should’ve said no to this whole thing.”

Hunter dipped closer to her, and Luz felt like a magnet was pulling her in.

“It’s okay, really, I,” his nose was brushing hers, “I forgiv—“

He captured her lips with his.

She melted into him. Her eyes fluttered shut, and her hand came up to rest on his jaw. She pulled back just a moment to readjust their noses, allowing her to deepen the kiss.

They parted for air, and Hunter longingly stared into her eyes, lovestruck.

“Crikey,” Luz gasped out, before she heard herself,

“DAMMIT! AGAIN?!”

What was it about first kisses that suddenly made her Steve Irwin??

[apompkwrites]

I'm having Lil Bat and Silver's twin thoughts again.

To be fair, I've had some of these on the back burner waiting since October/November/December haha I totally didn't forget that I did not send them before haha haha.

I'm gonna do some retconning for my previous brain rots.

Vanrouge(Name) pretty much has the same backstory in the other Vanrouge(name) brain rots I sent in this and this (I think, idk they could be the wrong ones)

a as brief as I am capable of TLDR for those two posts because they are long and made while brainrotting, so they might be hard to read lmao (plus some bits I added because I feel like they add a bit more to them idk help): Lil Bat was a sick child; who grew up separated from their brother because of the nurse's fear of them getting even sicker because of their brother's carelessness leading them both to become distant from each other and making Lil Bat long for freedom which then prompts them to start traveling once they get older and strong enough where they aren't sick constantly anymore, so that way even if they do eventually die of sickness or some other reason they won't have any possible regrets (for the most part)

ok so in the Neverending Halloween Event, which I didn't 100% complete, and I am still mad at myself because I am bad at time management, Silver says that in his childhood, he and his father (Lilia) lived in a little cabin in the woods and his father (Lilia) would be out traveling for months at a time leaving Silver alone during that time, and now I need to add some things.

Imagine Lilia never really staying anywhere long during his time as a general, one reason because of his job having to go off to fight many battles, and the other being the fact that he is a free spirit who seems to be physically incapable of being tied down unless he wills it; after his retirement as general and even as he started taking care of Malleus, he would go out traveling and would bring back souvenirs for Malleus, ( Malleus says in the Fireworks event that Lilia got him souvenir flags). None of this changed when Silver and his beloved twin came into the picture.

Imagine that when Lilia found Silver and his twin, they were holding each other's hand, as though they refused to be separated, and after he took them in, they were very close during childhood. They both took care of each other, even with their own curses of sleep individually; they relied on each other when they were alone, and it seemed like they were going to stay like that forever; they cleaned together, learned how to make edible food together so that they could avoid accidentally dying from food poisoning after consuming their fathers cooking, slept in the same room and sometimes shared a bed when one had a nightmare and didn't want to be alone, they had a structured routine that they would do to take care of the place that they lived in yet flexible enough that it accommodated for both of their sleeping curses if one or both of them fell asleep or passed out then the schedule wouldn't be affected that much.

During their childhood, Lilia started teaching them swordsmanship, though Silver seemed to enjoy it more than his twin did, it just wasn't that fun or enjoyable for them, and it seemed that it was tedious for them; Lilia noticed this and stopped getting (Name) to join them. Initially, they were happy with this and didn't mind that much, though they quickly started feeling left out. Their father was out traveling a lot + his job as the princes retainer and would come back in small periods to check up on them, when he did he spent a lot of his time with them training, and since they were no longer training with them, the time they spent with their father decreased significantly.

They didn't feel much jealousy or envy for their brother though, they were happy that their brother had time to bond with their dad and plus it's not like Lilia didn't spend time with them, and as a even bigger plus they had all the time in the world to spend with their brother when their father left.

One night during one of their father's visits, just as they both were about to fall asleep in their respective beds, (name) heard their brother tell them that they wanted to become a knight and that he was gonna talk to their father about it in the morning. They didn't think much about it and was just happy that their brother figured out what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. In the morning, Silver told their father. Their father was shocked, but (Name) could tell he was happy.

It was not long before Silver started to officially train at the palace; he initially seemed nervous, asking his twin if they could come with him. This wouldn't be his first time going to the palace or their grounds; when they were both toddlers that were this close to doing something that would get them killed, Lilia would often bring them along to the palace so he could do his job as a retainer and make sure his children didn't die prematurely at the same time, (name) thought that their brother was simply just not used to being without their presence yet. (Name) agreed anyway, and Silver promptly asked Lilia if they could bring his twin, to which Lilia also agreed.

Their time visiting the palace had been nothing but pleasant; they enjoyed watching their brother have fun. It was nice to see him befriend a half-fae who was kind of mean with hair that they would later learn to describe as radioactive named Sebek, who was two years younger than them, and all the servants were nice to them and were more than willing to help. That was until one day, they got bored, and the hallway leading to other parts of the palace looked really tempting; they slipped away and started walking through; nothing new, just an unending hallway. They heard some talking, and although they knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, they couldn't help it.

What they heard genuinely shocked them; some of the palace maids were complaining about them, how it was a shame that the retired general had such a useless child, how they were holding their brother back with their presence; at least Silver was doing something to help the royal family, there was more complaining about anything and everything about them. In hindsight, it was baseless gossip, but it could be more than true to their little child mind.

They wanted to cry, felt humiliated, and just ran, the servants in question probably saw them and knew they heard it, but they didn't try to comfort or chase after them. After a while of running, they went into a random room and just hid, not wanting to be seen or found. Did they want to be found? Was what they said true? Is that why their father doesn't as much time with them? Because he sees them as a failure, as useless? Sebek had previously said something like that to them, but they didn't listen because they didn't realize it. They thought he was just mean. Does their aunt/uncle also think of them like that?

They stayed like that for what felt like forever before being found, and when they were found, it wasn't by anyone they knew. They were found by a fae with horns with an appearance similar to the prince. They were confused and shocked after finding the child, yet they attempted to comfort them. They were awkward; they obviously had never interacted with a child before, especially a human one who was also crying. Nonetheless, their comfort attempts had worked, and they had calmed down enough to confide in the fae. They had talked for a while, and after hearing the cause of the human's tears, the fae had apologized for the two maids' behavior, telling them that they were just old fae clinging onto their youth with nothing better to do than hurt an innocent child. They had very quickly become close. Silver's twin had tried to get the Fae's name, but they seemed hesitant to tell them, so Silver's twin dropped it for a while and waited to ask them again, however before they were able to ask again the horned fae asked where their parent(s) was, Silver's twin answered the training area and the fae helped calm their swollen eyes before escorting them back to the training area and disappeared.

(Name) returned to the seat they sat in before they left and continued watching their brother train; it seemed like what just happened was a nasty nightmare that turned into a pleasant dream, and it seemed that no time had passed since they left with neither their brother nor their father seeming to notice or acknowledge their brief disappearance.

Once they returned to the cabin they called home, (Name) couldn't stop thinking about what happened that day, and despite the words that the fae had said to comfort them, they still thought and considered the words the maids had said. Nonetheless, they slipped away In search of the fae they conversed with the next time they returned to the palace to accompany Silver. They did eventually find them in the garden and they continued their conversations becoming closer.

The two kept meeting, even finding and tending to an injured bird they found in the garden. That was until Silver told them that he felt comfortable at the palace and that they no longer needed to accompany them after today. So when Draconia(Name) and Silver's twin met that day, they bid farewell and promised to write to each other. They did write to each other regularly, their conversations carried through by the letters. Eventually, Silver's visits to the palace got longer and longer, hours turned into days, and then days turned into weeks, cementing the idea in his twin's mind that they really were holding him back and that if that one of the things they heard was right, then the other things must be right.

Silver's twin was shocked to learn of their friend's bloodline during the NRC dorm assignment but was glad that they were in the same dorm and could see each other again. They both were very awkward around each other; the last time they had seen each other in person was when the human was a child, and they were both more talkative on paper than in person. They both have phones now and most of their conversations take place there.

Back to Vanrouge(Name) I think that they knew their brother now preferred his cabin but were always shocked whenever they didn't see him around the estate anymore; they always saw him around, through the window when he was training or just taking a walk, in the library, during dinner, etc... and now that he wasn't there, it just felt lonely.

One day they returned from a long exhausting, and very stressful trip, and they were half asleep ready to just eat dinner and pass out on their bed; they entered the dining room after asking one of the servants to prepare their food, and to their surprise, their brother was there.

They sat down and started eating their food as their brother started talking about something; about what? They weren't paying much attention; they were just nodding and eating. Eventually, their brother asked a question, and they nodded, and the (onesided) conversation ceased. Lil Bat finished their meal, and as they were getting up to head back to their room, their brother also got up and rushed over to them; grabbing their hand, he dragged them from the house to his cabin. Lil bat, though, who was not paying attention to what they had agreed to, was very confused and mildly scared. Did he notice that they weren't paying attention to what he was saying? Although he no longer lives in the mansion, he's still technically the head of the family. Is he kicking them out? shit shit shit shit- wait isn't that his cabin? why did he take them here again?

When they got into the cabin Lilia let them go and left into one of the rooms, they walked over to the couch and sat on it, noting that it was comfortable and a few seconds later Lilia walked out holding two babies and gave them one.

A baby...?

Their brother did mention something about children... did he? they were cursing at themself for not paying attention to what he was saying earlier; nonetheless, he had two children. Children...? did he get married? that would explain moving to the cabin, but why weren't they invited to the wedding? Did he get eloped? that would also make sense... these children are human, aren't they? So their sister-in-law must be human. Where is she? Wait- these children are humans? But if he had children with a human, wouldn't the children be half-fae...? where did he get the children? Step-children maybe? If so where is his wife? is she out? Did he steal these children? Dear seven... they weren't awake enough for this shit.

"I think they like you" was what drew them out of their thoughts; they snapped their head away from the child in their arms whose hands were making grabbing motions at them towards the voice, their brother, who laughed at their reaction he told them that one day as he was living his best life he found two abandoned children and he couldn't just leave them there so now they're his children.

I feel like Lil Bat would babysit for Lilia, if we go with my previous hobby hc's for Lil Bat I can see Lil Bat teaching Silver's twin how to paint and letting a child Silver's twin sit on their lap as they painted, it was messy but the child enjoyed it and liked being close to them.

I can also see Lil Bat popping up out of nowhere like it's 12AM, and Lil Bat would just enter and pass out on the couch because it was closer than the estate and would stay for like 2 days. Also, Lil Bat would 100% tell Silver's twin bedtime stories about their travels and the tales they previously heard of to help them fall asleep, and I can see them sitting and talking at night because Silver's twin couldn't fall asleep.

Also, I can imagine Lil Bat and Draconia meeting during a gala; Lil Bat was bored and was way too tired of pretending to be interested in what others were saying, so they escaped into the garden, where they found a horned fae child just vibing. Since the child was very obviously of Draconia bloodline, they very cautiously approached and asked the child why they were sitting alone out there and not inside with their family, to which they got the response, "I was told to stay here until the gala was over as to not tarnish the Draconia's reputation."

Lil Bat's first reaction was, "Oh shit" and recalled that there was some drama with an illegitimate child being born along with some outrage, the whole thing was pretty dumb in their opinion and very messy, but they always felt bad for the child as they did not ask to be born in this situation. The conversation had ceased, and the air was pretty awkward. The silence was deafening until Vanrouge(Name) asked how life was in the palace; they didn't know why they asked that it was the first thing that came to mind. The child stayed quiet for a moment before saying, "Um... it's not bad... Miss Leah is nice. She takes care of me." a look of anger appeared on Vanrouges face before turning neutral, and a small smile appeared "Yeah? tell me about her" and so the innocent child did, they talked about all the thing's Miss Leah did, how safe they felt around her, and how they wished for more people to think like she does and Vanrouge listen.

They went on for a while before adding, "...but the others-" "They aren't as nice, are they?" the older fae said "No... I don't understand it." Vanrouge took a sip of their wine and let out, "Agh! ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵗᵃˢᵗᵉˢ ʰᵒʳʳᶦᵇˡᵉ ʷʰʸ ᵈᵒ ᵖᵉᵒᵖˡᵉ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ? Anyways... Don't listen to them; they're old and decrepit, rude and inconsiderate, clinging onto their youth- pathetic if you ask me. Nothing better to do than hurt a young, innocent child." The child looked at them. "No, really, they've probably never left the Valley. Never able to change their world views because they've never been challenged, staying as insufferable their whole life" The older fae laughed, "pitiful is it not?" "you've been outside the Valley" The child inquired; it seemed they had the child's attention. "Yes, I have. I've been almost everywhere; I've met many people, some nice, some mean; it's a mixed bag. Would you like to know some places I've been to?" The young fae nodded, "If it's not a bother." They stayed walking in the garden, Vanrouge telling the illegitimate Draconia child of their travel with the young fae asking questions every so often for hours, only stopping when the gala had long ended, and Vanrouge(Name) could only assume Miss Leah was looking for the child as they had wandered into the labyrinth while talking. "Oh... It seems that we're lost in the labyrinth... My apologizes" "No, it's okay. I know the way back." The child said in reply to the older fae's musings. "Well then! lead the way then, my liege." Once the pair had escaped the maze, the calls for the child by Miss Leah could be heard the older fae had bid their farewells and started to walk away before the hem of their sleeve had been tugged on. They looked back. "Um... is it alright if you visit again...? I would like to hear more..." the child asked, clearly nervous at the possible rejection. Vanrouge hummed, "Of course" they crouched down to look them in the eyes. "I would also love to write to you if you allow it, as I am not often in the Valley of Thorns; I could inform you of my next visit." The child's eyes sparkled, and nodded, "Okay!" The bat fae laughed, "Great, who should I address it to?" "Draconia(Name)" the child replied

Since then, they would write to each other regularly, with Vanrouge(name) writing about their travels and Draconia(Name) would write questions about the places they visited and would confide in the older fae. During their in-person visits, Vanrouge(Name) would give them personalized souvenirs of things they thought or knew the young Draconia would like. When they learned of their niece/nephew and the Draconia's correspondence, they were pleasantly surprised, glad that the precious children they cared for deeply became friends and could confide in each other as they both had their own burdens. sorry for this being so long. This has been sitting for a while, and I didn't want to just forget it all, so it was better to just let it all out at once lmao

waaaa more lil bat and twin silver!! gotta love the black sheep fae family <33

imagining how heartbroken twin!silver would feel after being told that they weren't needed to go to the castle with silver anymore. they continue the routine they set up with him but suddenly it doesn't work because there's only one of them :((

and and them meeting draconia!(name) in the castle and becoming friends :OO + vanrouge!(name)!!! ugh i love them

[upper-moon-4askblog]

Sekido, I love you. but just let them have their fun. There's no harm in it, don't worry. I'll be there to protect them ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

*I had Karaku my money*

You two can get WHATEVER you want. Urogi and I will stay here and keep uh try to calm down sekido. Ill catch up to you guys soon!!

Ishimaki, stay safe and have fun cutie! I'm going to buy you so many clothes when you're done. anything you would like?

AND TO THE OTHER DEMON. THE ONE ALSO INSULTING ISHIMAKI? YEAH I FORGOT YOU'RE NAME CAUSE YOU WERE IRRELEVANT BUT WHEN I CATCH YOU.. WHEN I CATCH YOUUU!

(ง'̀-'́)ง (me fr)

ill make you into uhh something. idk yet but ill know when I come back!

Karaku smiles as you give him the money.

— "Why, thank you! How very thoughtful of you~ You can buy me anything that catches your eye! Hehe~"

He says with a smile as he pockets the money.

— "Alright, then! I shall be off to Disneyland now! Goodbye, Urogi and Aizetsu! Do have fun, you two~"

He waves, starting to walk away, and you notice that he begins to run off to Disneyland along with Ishimaki.

Aizetsu continues to sit back and eat his popcorn, seeing both Ishimaki and Karaku leave. Then, he looks at Sekido who is still struggling in Urogi's grasp.

— "Hmm.. Looks like I'll be here alone with you again, Sekido, just us two…"

He says this, with Sekido glaring at him intensely. He stares at Sekido with his blank expression, all while eating his popcorn still.

Sekido looks like he just wanted to strangle Aizetsu. Then, he suddenly lets out a massive scream, seeming to let out all of his pent-up emotions.

— "GRRRAAAAARRR!! Why does everyone keep leaving me for those weaklings!? Don't they understand that those demons are a stain on our ass? How could they ignore me, don't they know how much stronger I am than everybody else!?"

He continues to let out this loud and angry fit, completely ignoring the fact that if he continues to be so loud he could alert every single demon around.

Meanwhile, Karaku and Ishimaki run to Disneyland, seeming to be excited to get into the park to have fun.

— "Ah, what a lovely day we're having today! The weather is gorgeous and today we're off to Disneyland, just the two of us, aren't we Ishimaki-chan?"

He says to Ishimaki with a big smile, holding her hand as they begin to walk inside the entrance of Disneyland.

Ishimaki nodded and smiled up at Karaku, her face filled with pure joy and happiness.

"Yes we are! Hehe, I'm so excited to go to disneyland now, and spend time with you as well!! This is going to be so fun!!"

The child pulled harder of Karaku, so she could get closer to her best friend. She was a bit tired of walking. Being short is hard at times. But the demon was so excited and hyper for Disneyland. She was so excited to be there and have fun.

Mokushiroku looked at you with a sinister grin.

"Ohhhh? I'm irrelevant now? Haha! You're so funny. I've just been playing with a lot of people to pass the time. You know, Being cooped up in a box for hundreds of years really doesn't do any favors for my behavior. But to be honest? I don't regret it at all! Just look at my mental state!!"

Mokushiroku's laughter became more and more disturbing. He seemed to want to watch this demon child break.

[riebearsp]

I have no idea what life is anymore. I mean i never did but thats beside the point. I just idk i wish i could yk sleep forever. Idk what im doing, im just following life just going to work and school and hanging with friends and stuff but idk i just feel so weird. I dont want to go work or school i mean who does but like i just feel myself slowly shutting down. Im so tired and just want to go home…of course i cant go home cause ill be alone lol

Ive been spending so much time with my friends i practically live out their house and i know they couldn’t mind less but i feel bad sometimes like im taking space or sumn but i know they enjoy it its just hard to think that yk? But anyway I would probably kms by now if i didnt have them…when I am alone its like my depression literally just claws out of me 😭 even sometimes when im not alone and im just sitting there numb and killing the mood 😒

I really dont have an actual plan for my future, i honestly dont think i can live that long. Im not ready for the change thats to come and i wont ever…i know i hate that kind of change like when i graduate and everyone goes their own way im gonna be stuck. I cant do thing alone like i can but i cant i have no energy to anymore id rather honestly just yk sleep forever lol Im trying really hard not to tho. I have children (two cats lol) and i have friends and family that would feel better if i was alive tho they don’t need me no one does but i still don’t want to hurt anyone.

Im tired of all of this but theres nothing else i can do but sit here. Sit here and wait. Who knows maybe I’ll stay alive and be happy (or yk atleast have more reasons to be atleast) or maybe I’ll fu€k sumn up again and have no reasons yk win win hopefully… anyway i never said any of this :))

[justoutsideofdoncaster]

Blog #3

Todays hangover wasn't nearly as bad as yesterdays. I can't believe I went out again. It was a really good night out though, no matter what the hangxiety says.

I remember when we all finally got inside and met with the others, just standing and smiling and watching all these idiots dance and sing and yell and jump on each other and I felt so so happy. I'm so much closer to my team now then I've ever been before.

He obviously wouldn't stop staring at me, so much so that one of the girls came up and said that he was - I told her I knew. It's strange, he's so sweet and shy and awkward and then he gets drunk and all he does is stare at me all night with those big stupid puppy eyes.

I do love having a crush, but of course I haven't done anything about it. I've always been that way. It's hard for me to believe anyone could look at me like that, so I'm just waiting for the inevitable moment when they snap out of it. When they see me for who I truly am, not some romanticised version. I've never felt good enough to be someones girlfriend. It's largely the asexual . I can't give them enough of myself, or I won't, and I know that when they find this out they'll no longer be interested. And I know there are plenty of asexual boys out there, but for now I have a crush on a boy who could never date me. So that's why I stand, under the strobe lights and the fog machines and the confetti and the music and all of it, and I do nothing. We share a shit eating grin and everyone holds their breath waiting for one of us to move, and he doesn't because he's shy and unsure and I don't because what? I move forward and then what? I pretend I want to kiss him? No I won't do that. I'm willing to spend my entire life alone rather than pretending to be something I'm not for the sake of some man.

I woke up to four deleted messages from him. He could have any girl on the team but he's picked me and I think it's probably driving him crazy.

Anyway, that whole low self esteem - i'm gonna die alone - asexual fuelled self hatred crap can be unpacked in another blog.

I watched some lectures and had some food (guac on toast for dinner, vegan burger with fried egg and mushrooms for tea), and went in to the studio for like four hours. Managed to kick out an entire painting, which is pretty baller especially considering I felt nauseous the entire time. I also planned on going to the gym today, but the hangxiety is telling me to stay in my room. I've not been to the gym in weeks which sucks, but I honestly don't think I'm gonna go tonight.

Also, meal wise, ate really well today! Don't feel guilty either really, although maybe it's because last night I got KFC and then proceeded to throw it all up... so... not my best moment.

Small side rant: My flatmates were pissing me off today. I've been out two nights in a row, which yes I did drink a lot the first night but that's still just two nights, and they're acting like I'm crazy or pathetic or something. Writing this I know I sound paranoid and I know it's not that deep but idk, both of them have specific quirks that are just rude and nasty and it always makes me feel bad. Little comments and looks. It annoys me so much because they both like to act so caring to others, but it feels like I'm the only one who actually gives a shit about others feelings, more than myself, enough to put their feelings before mine. Just basic functioning adult stuff. It's always the people who call themselves empaths or people pleasers that are actually the hardest to be around. Only one more year though, and then I'm free from living with crazy people. Deep breaths.

Anyway, here's a painting I'm currently in love with by Jennifer Packer (2012-2017). That blue is just beautiful. I've been using a lot of Ultramarine at the minute.

Bye

[1d1195]

Okay part two of my ramble lol

(Tw! This is a bit sad so please do NOT feel obligated to read it all or feel obligated to respond at all!)

So I didn’t intentionally mean to be gone that long! But I’ve actually have had a horrible past week or two. I’ve mentioned before I’ve always struggled with mental health from a young age and like I have MDD so to sum it all up I go through depressive episodes quite a bit. I’ve gotten better over the years but sometimes when they hit, they really HIT. So this one was kinda crazy since nothing in particular triggered anything. But it did send me into a spiral that led to some not pleasant thoughts(don’t worry I’m safe and was safe in the moment!) it was really hard. So there was a lot of crying, not sleeping, and eating. Didn’t even have the energy to do anything really, just was so emotionally and mentally drained.

Okay-ish now though! Still pretty exhausted but now I can actually be productive. Got out today to chop all my hair off! Had to go bc I simply cannot afford the late cancellation fee lol my new hair cut is giving Dora for sure but I was SO over having long hair!

Anyways, I also read your post :( I’m so sorry you’re feeling a similar way :( it no joke when feeling like this! I wish you didn’t have to feel like this at all! But I’m glad that you felt comfortable enough to share it. Keeping it all in isn’t always the best and I’m glad that you found a safe place to express it! It takes a-lot to even share so you should feel proud of it! Hope that this soon passes because it can be so exhausting and frustrating. Doing things that make you happy is always great! And I’m glad you had enough energy to read your books! Putting yourself first is a must! Sending you the biggest hug and all the love! Know that you are truly never alone in this ever! I love you so so much. You’re the absolute loviest! Hope you’ll feel better soon my love!-💜

I kind of figured you were having a rough week 💔 I really almost posted a "💜--hope you're doing okay" post because I was realized "Oh no, she hasn't been on in a while." I'm extremely glad you're safe 💕 I'm so sorry you were so down and drained. That's not a fun way to spend any time but certainly not (what I assume is) the last couple weeks of your summer classes :(

I LOVE A HAIR CHOP. Chop off the bad emotions and whatnot (that's lame, sorry, but you'll know what I mean) I can't imagine how exhausted you are. I hope you're sleeping and staying hydrated and you get to do something relaxing/fun for your wellbeing. I LOVE the idea of Dora. I'm sure it's adorable 😊

I feel like I hit a new low last week. Idk what was wrong with me (well I do, but it's a lot of the same stuff I always complain about so I won't bore you with it again) Idk. I'm doing better literally right this second. I read my trashy romance books (in the sports romances: book 3 is a baseball man; a single dad and he falls in love with the nanny HARD--I've been dying to read it but I was waiting until I finished writing Honey so I wouldn't accidentally copy anything, lol. Fortunately I don't think there are many, if any similarities other than nanny and rich people vibes)

I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH. I wish I could see a blog of all the people telling you how wonderful and talented you are because I'm sure it would be like 3 times bigger than mine 😭 you deserve so much happiness and love and everything 💕💕

xoxo

[justaboutjane]

Memories of a little house wife named Jane

(Note in case no one gets it: this is framed like a blogger posting about a diary they found that happened to be Jane's/Odette's back from when they were married to Alastor)

*blog begins

Hey there fellow lost and finders! Gabby Dabby here with another find! While exploring an abandoned house I found this diary that belonged to a...Jane...? Huh, for some reason the last name is scratched off. Should be interesting!

Let's GOOOO!

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Entry #1

Date:

"From this day forward I promise to forever show my love for you, and forever be grateful to be your wife.

I promise to do what I can to hold you high up and support you wherever you go. For you have given me solace like no other in choosing me. I will accept you as you have accepted me.

I will have no need, for I will never go unfulfilled now that you have made me yours.

I pledge to stay by your side through sickness and health.

I devote to you, Alastor, my everlasting love.

The words of my vows I've had memorized for so long I finally got to pledge!

I just married the love of my life! I'm so happy!!

This journal will help me navigate how to be the best wife I can to Alastor! I will try to make weekly entries but maybe I might switch it up from time to time? Who knows?I'm still in disbelief even with the ring around my finger!

It happened. Someone accepted me for all my flaws, mistakes, and shortcomings!

Someone finally wanted me! And I wanted him too!

I'm just so happy!

--------------------

Here we have the first entry of a very clearly newly wedded bride....idk about you guys but this just drips with that pre feminist vibe and honestly she seems to need therapy already? I mean...but like at least she's happy right?

--------------------

Entry #2

Date:

Last night was amazing! I still am so giddy about being a wife! I'm so lucky!

Not only that but with the money we saved from just going to the courthouse we can now afford the move back to his home town for his new job!

Seeing him smile as he talks about it is worth far more than any wedding dress or fancy ring.

I even got to dance with my husband! I know he is usually uncomfortable with contact but he let it go just for me! It was amazing and he didn't even seem to mind how bad I was!

I love him so much!

----------------------

Entry #10

Date:

Haven't written in a while but that's because we were moving! And clearly I'm still very tired since I am apologizing to my own journal!

We have officially settled in and everything is like a dream. It's so beautiful here in Louisiana and his childhood home is amazing!

Alastor is so passionate about his radio work! It's hard not to get inspired by his determination and endless passion! He's had it ever since we were kids!

I'll make sure he has the best house I can keep, and the best meals I can cook for him to come home to!

Though I might have to find other ways since he also likes to cook and is generally very tidy.

I'm such a lucky woman to have him choose me.

Sometimes I wonder what I did to get to have someone as wonderful as him

Or if I even deserve it.

------------------------

😳 wow this girl is in need of some girl power bc she is clearly head over heels over this guy!

Real talk though I swear this guys name sounds really familiar for some reason.

--------------------------------

Entry #15

Date:

Alastor is leaving for a hunting trip so I guess I will be left all by my lonesome. It will be hard but thankfully I have what my mama used to teach me.

Whenever you miss someone you love you find a coloured paper that reminds you of them, fold it into a flower, and keep them in a drawer. That way the next time you fight or take them for granted you can look at your collection and remember how much you missed them when they were gone!

I used to spend days endlessly folding them since I lost my family. I was only 25 when the accident happened. I was so alone and my mind was constantly attacking me with horrible thoughts.

But then I ran into Alastor again after so many years and we connected so much.

And now that I'm his wife I find myself not needing to anymore. We accepted and supported each other.

I could never repay how much he saved me from myself. I never thought I could ever feel loved again.

--------------------

This entry is a little sad. I actually did find one of her paper roses in the pages but I threw it away...oops.

Which I bring up because I decided to try and...HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FOLD A PAPER ROSE!?

Seriously I've tried so many times and it's just??? How???? It was so pretty too 😩😩

Moving on.

----------------------------

Entry #20

Date:

He is home! Im so happy to see him!

Every time he never fails to make me smile! As he always says your never fully dressed without one!

I hope I can make him even a fraction of how happy he makes me.

Note: remember to start putting the date Jane. You always forget to note it first and then get distracted before looking at the calendar after writing and never get back to note it proper.

Get a grip girl!

-------------------

LMAO!!!! This woman is so me here!!!!!!!!

😂😂😂

--------------------------------

Entry #20

Date:

Today was a rough day. Alastor found a old photo of his mother...

It's so hard on him that she is gone.

She was such an amazing woman. I remember her from when I was a kid. She was always so kind and had so much love for Alastor. No wonder he is in such pain.

So far I find that he likes to talk about her a lot and I'm happy to listen. Sometimes he doesn't want anyone else near, but even then I will always make sure to show my support with a warm drink at his side.

Sometimes he wants nothing but to be held. It felt so selfish how my heart jumped the first time he laid his head on my lap and talked about his mother.

Alastor is so thoughtful and kind when it comes to her. It pains me so to see him miss her.

What's worse is that he has very little to remember her by since they had so little. The one thing he had was a pocket watch he lost in the bayou when he was little. I could tell he never forgot about it since he was able to tell me in extreme detail the area he lost it in and the very specific tree stump it's more than likely under.

As much as I wish I could magically make it reappear I'm afraid all I can do is be here to support him however I can. To help, I even folded a couple paper flowers for him since he seemed to struggle with it.

Anything to help my dear husband.

---------------

Looks like we have a MAMAS BOYYY!!

Real talk this is actually really sad/sweet

Sadeet? Swad?

Is there a word for that? Anyway...

-------------------------

Entry #21

Date:

Alastor is still torn up about his mother and I can't blame him. The way he lost her was truly tragic and no one should have to go through that. His bastard of a father got exactly what he deserved.

Alastor has decided to go on another hunting trip to try and get his mind off her. I did my best to hide my own selfish sadness at the prospect of him leaving again.

I need to be a better wife. I need to focus on what I can do to make him happy.

Maybe I can try to build up the wood storage for the fireplace while he is gone so he doesn't have to worry about it when he gets back!

----------------------

BITTERSWEET!

Also this entry has a touch of...iNsEcUriTy!

-----------------------

Entry #22

Date:

I FOUND THE STUMP!

I know for sure this is it! It even had the carvings he described! It has to be!

Is it possible? Probably not. Not only that but Alastor will be back in 3 days I probably shouldn't waste time on such frivolous delusions.

But I have to try, for him.

Anything to see him smile naturally again.

------------------------------

Entry #23

Date:

I failed today but I will try again tomorrow!

-----------------------------

Entry #24

Date:

I failed again but I will try again tomorrow!

------------------------------

Entry #25

Date:

I failed again, and I'm out of time... but I can feel that it's so close! I can't fail him!

-------------------

Entry #26

Date:

I found it. I actually did it...

It's been a couple days since he has come home and he is still smiling!

So much happened. But I need to write it all so I can forever keep this precious memory!

I was so scared that I did all of my digging for nothing, that I ruined my dress for nothing! I lost track of time to the point where I missed Alastor coming home.

But it was so worth it!

He was so cross with me when I approached him as filthy as I was! I was so lucky he gave me the moment I needed to show him what I found!

I will never forget how he stared at the pocket watch! I was worried for a moment but then...he hugged me!

He does usually but nothing like that before! And the kiss...it was unlike anything I've ever experienced! I'm still woozy from it!

Ever since he hasn't gone 10 minutes without looking at it with such care. Cleaned it all up real good too!

I'm so happy that I was able to actually find it for him!

------------------------

Just a heads up there are a lot of ruined pages so the entries are going to be a bit jumpy from here on out.

-------------------------

Entry #35

Date:

Alastor was so sweet to me today! I feel like the pocket watch brought us so much closer than ever before!

His kisses leave me so flustered now! To be held so close at night too...I never thought I could be so happy as I am now. Never did I think he could be so affectionate!

I could stay in his arms and starve to death from not eating and still be happy! Hell he could eat my body and I would be happy just to be with him still!

...that might have been a little unhinged.

-----------

😳 yes...yes it was...

-----------

Entry #36

Date:

I don't know if I have the ability to write right. I don't even know how it happened but we actually... I can't even write it I'm so flustered just thinking about it! It was so awkward, hurt a little, and neither of us knew what we were doing. But the moment felt so right.

The way he looked at me throughout the day, the way he kept lingering around me. I had a feeling something was up. Then...he asked me to try something with him... just thinking about how he whispered in my ear just....

Why does it feel so scandalous we have been married for so long at this point for Pete's sake yet Im sweating like a sinner in church just thinking bout it!

----------------------

My girl got laid~!

-----------------------

Entry #40

Date:

I haven't written in a while since I had to care for my husband when he fell ill. I dropped everything to care for him and I'm so glad that I did! He is doing so much better now!

He claims that me lying next to him while in his sickly state was an unnecessary hardship for me but honestly he could be covered head to toe in pig blood and my ass would still want to be as close as ever to him!

It's ok to crass in a journal right? I'm not going to ruin my chances of getting into Heaven with that one?

-------------------------

Awww she thinks she is being crass. Though they are just being a bit of a simp for their husband and it's kinda cringy. But also kinda cute!

------------------------

Entry #60

Date: 1929

The stock market has crashed.

Everyone is in a panic about what will happen to the economy. So many children have been made orphans because their parents have no way to feel or care for them. For goodness sake I even saw someone selling their children! How could the world be so cruel!?

As hard as it might be I will do what I can for my husband. Recently he has been struggling to afford his equipment for his job since his boss cut back on his funding.

I won't let him loose his dream job! I have to do whatever I can do to help him.

Luckily with the schooling I did to be a nurse I can maybe start helping my fellow neighbours to trade for food so we can cut back on our spending.

I only hope this depression ends soon.

-------------------------

Wow...that was quite the turn. So this chick was alive way back then! Shit is wild!

------------------------

Entry #72

Date:

I am holding up ok.

My body has gotten significantly weaker from my new depression diet but it is worth it.

Especially since Al has been able to afford his equipment! He doesn't know that I've been altering the budget books so he doesn't find out I've been lying about how much we spend on food. Thankfully saltine crackers and cabbage is still dirt cheap and prepping proper meals for 1 has cut back on our consumption significantly. I can live off cabbage and crackers for as long as it takes. Though I still worry.

Am I a horrible wife for lying to my husband?

-------------

Depression diet... nice to know she still had a sense of humour...totally distracts from the fact she is literally starving herself.. yep 😰

--------------------

Entry # 80

Date:

Al has been acting strange.

I can't ignore things that are happening in front of my own eyes. Even though I have nothing to prove anything is going on.

Maybe I just haven't seen it before, but recently I've come to realize some things.

He goes for hunting trips so much more now. Despite the depression! He tells me that since we have been able to save so much money he can afford the time off work. I feel like if I tell him the truth now it will only hurt him so much more!

It's my own fault anyway

He also tells me how he gives away all the meat he gets from game to help others through the depression.

I should be beaming with pride for my husband!

So why do I feel such a deep feeling of dread when he goes? Is it selfishness?

Why am I questioning my husband? I'm

supposed to be his wife! To love and trust him unconditionally! It's my own fault he thinks we have money!

...and yet something is pulling at me that has nothing to do with the money or food. What is this gnawing dark feeling that keeps looming over me?

---------------------

Entry #85

Date:

If our town didn't already have enough problems! I thought that now we had more food things would finally be ok!

I knew there was a reason I had such a sickening feeling whenever he left!

He was in danger! There is a killer out there who has butchered 2 people so far!! Everyone is so scared for their lives! I lay awake at night so frightful at the thought.

My dear Alastor I don't know how he keeps such a brave face. He seems so unbothered by the killings and even seems reinvigorated ever since he started reporting on them! No one seems to know how he gets his information. I don't even dare to ask, especially with how nosey everyone is being right now.

Still despite his confidence I am still fearful for my husband. What if he leaves and never returns home to me. What if I was to never be held by him again, to never feel his lips again, to be all alone again.

Please angels who reside in the heavenly gates. Please watch over my dear husband and protect him from evil.

---------------

DUDE there is a serial killer now!?

Actually now that I think about it I DO remember something about a serial killer that started killing a bunch of people around that time period that maybe had a small start before going like all in?? I don't know for sure

Yeah... I think it was like..they found a guy who got mistakenly shot by a hunter who thought he was a deer and when they looked into it they found all this crazy shit about how he was reporting on his own killings on...his...radio station...

no way

no FUCKING way

H..holy shit

Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit

Wait hold on I gotta check something right fucking now.....

HOLY FUCK HIS NAME WAS ALASTOR!

Wait....fuck, there isn't any mention of a wife here...shit. Oh well let's continue.

--------------------------

Entry #95

Date:

I don't even know what to think about what has happened.

I remember hearing the news of the latest killing. A radio host from another station.

I was so worried and scared I couldn't let him leave. I begged him.

I asked him to please stay with me. He told me no. I demanded that I go with him! I never even knew I could argue with him...Before I knew it we were arguing and then he was kissing me and his mouth tasted funny.

Then suddenly I woke up in our bed. He said that I collapsed suddenly and hypothesized how I might still be lacking in nutrition from holding out on eating proper meals for so long surviving on cabbage and crackers.

He promised to be as careful as he could and take no risks if I promise to stay safe at home and take care of my health.

I feel like I'm loosing sight of what is important. I tried to apologize for arguing with him and he simply said there was no need since it was natural to be worried for a loved one.

At least he knows I didn't mean to argue. I'm lucky he understands a little of how I feel. I'm also a bit embarrassed he noticed I was still holding back on eating out of habit.

----------------------

Did...did he just admit to knowing she was starving herself?

Also the bit about his mouth tasting funny and her collapsing suddenly???? Hello??? Ok....

----------------------

Entry #102

Date:

I know I shouldn't be upset. I know he is probably just stressed about work.

But I can't help but feel my husband is drifting away from me.

I know he doesn't like contact as much. So when he stopped kissing me as much I understood. I was still plenty happy with my little pecks!

But then he stopped showing up at home until really late. At first I was upset about him taking risks but I didn't have the heart to approach him about it again. After he yelled at me before.

He always looks so tired.

Did I do something wrong? All I did before was try to ask him to be more careful at night and he blew up at me about letting himself get too close?...now he seems to be weary of me.

How do I help him?

------------------------

Entry #106

Date:

Good news, the killings seem to have stopped for now

Bad news is that the killer is still not caught...

Alastor still seems to be quite distant and getting worse.

I try to show him my love as I did before. I tried sitting and getting him to talk to me but he usually will excuse himself to go to his study. He never eats with me anymore

Then this weekend I messed up so badly. I woke up to him pushing me off him, accusing me of causing him to sleep in. I know I've been struggling to stop myself from cuddling too close at night! Why didn't I remember to set myself up to stop it as I have been doing!

How could I be so careless? I'm so sorry Alastor!

---------------

....yikes.

---------------------

Entry: #120

Date:

It has been months of what has felt like torture. I feel horrible for wanting more, I promised that just being his was enough for me in my vows.

But this feels like such a strike to my heart.

I thought I was doing well in keeping up with my regiment and making sure I never got too close to him while sleeping again. I thought I was doing well at giving him space! As much as he needs!

So why tonight did he ask for me to sleep in the guest room from now on?

Am I that horrible of a wife? I don't know what to do...I feel like I'm loosing him. I don't know what to do!

Could someone please just tell me what to do?

------------------------

....this is getting just sad....

-------------------------

Entry 137

Date:

Things seem to finally be looking up!

He hugged me today! Apparently there is a job opening in the big city! His dream gig!

I'm so proud of him!

All he needs is enough money to move out of this town and afford a house!

I can help him! This is my chance to show him my love and how much I value him!

This is my chance to save my marriage! To show him that it's worth it!

That Im worth it.

-------------------

Why am I getting a really bad feeling about this...

Also the big city? Wonder where they are talking about...meh

---------------------

Entry #140

Date:

I have started working at a local diner just down the street for as many shifts as they can give me. I'm working round the clock almost 20 hours a day!

I am a bit scared since the killer hasn't been caught yet but I have to be brave! It feels this is my last chance to keep from loosing him!

Honestly the more I work I can't help but feel so selfish for not doing so sooner. Perhaps I could have convinced Alastor to let me before had I pressed more.

Before he would hear none of it. Said that it was insulting that I would even suggest such a thing since it was his job to take care of me.

Now he was more than up for it. Encouraged it even! It makes me a bit happy to see that he is seeing that I can also contribute towards his goals!

He was even ok with me selling my hair to the weird old guy down the street! I just have to focus on earning this money. I can't waste time on frivolous things... which is why I will not be writing another entry until we have reached the goal.

I promise Alastor. I would do anything to help you.

Just please. Don't leave

Let me prove to you just how much you mean to me!

--------------------

....can't decide if the fact that he is so ok with her selling her own hair is a bigger red flag than the old guy who is buying said hair...

WAIT FUCK THAT! It's the diner! What kind of diner lets someone work that many hours!?

-------------------------

Entry 141

Date:

We did it. After so many endless weeks, we finally did it!

We raised the money! He can finally achieve his dream of having a big time radio show in the big city!

I am so proud to be his wife!

He is so happy!

I know he is still a bit dismissive but hopefully! Hopefully soon we can leave this place and start anew.

I can win Al back!

I promise to be a better wife than I have been! I'll make up for all my mistakes and be the best wife!

---------------------

So...he is still being dismissive? What a dick...

There are only a couple entrees left...why do I have such a bad feeling about this

------------------

Entry 161

Date:

What have I done?

I didn't mean to. I don't even fully understand what I did...

I just wanted to make a special meal to celebrate raising the money with him... I was just trying to look to see if we had anything in the spare freezer and...

He was so mad at me....the things he said to me...I had no idea...

How could I have hurt him for so long? Trap him in a marriage he didn't even want? Touched him despite how much it revolted him.

How could I have done this to him. I didn't know I was causing him to suffer so much. He's so disgusted to even have to share his last name with me.

I'm so sorry Alastor.

I didn't know

I didn't know

I didn't know

Please...

Don't leave me.

Don't leave me

Don't leave me

Forgive me

------------------

Entry:

Date: 

------------------

Entry:

Date:

------------------

Entry:

Date:

he left me

-----------------

There isn't anything after that just torn up and crumbled pages....Holy shit...wait. Wait wait wait...Didn't this guy like...initiate like everything? Did...did he seriously gaslight her into thinking she forced HIM to suffer their entire marriage!?

THAT MOTHER FUCKER

Fuck-this-guy!! I just...rAHHhhHH!!!

Sorry fellow lost and finders I just need to be done right now....just... wow

Omg!

FUCK THAT GUY!

*End of Blog

I hope you all enjoyed my attempt at writing a backstory for Jane from when she was alive..

Now I'm super excited to write her backstory in the afterlife, and how she ended up in the hotel...(and for you all to meet Ricky...my oc who is a dumbass but endearingly so) think Wheatley from portal but a little less dumb. (Only a little at times)

Which by the way might also add some context to this story 😉 (Alastor is somehow an even bigger dick yet not?)

And then a 4 part series about how she ended up in a relationship again with Alastor

[ruminate88]

Unhealed Trauma In My Marriage?

I saw a video of a guy showing a visual of what it looks like when you enter a relationship with unhealed trauma from a previous one and he basically says “You bleed onto that next person you date.” This video obviously made me emotional and feel horrible but at the same time, I know now and am aware of the emotional baggage and barriers I’ve been unknowingly carrying since Cody ghosted me.

I was talking to this guy named Andrew, trying so hard to trust him. I adored him and was planning our baby’s name. He had me thinking we were that serious but he was lying to me because at some point I realized he talks to a lot of girls the way he talks to me…. Ultimately I had to dump him and it was very hard to do. He talked circles around me and tried to convince me to wait and not make any quick decisions but how was I supposed to stay with somebody who doesn’t love me and has multiple girlfriends?? He’s so selfish. I was broken completely and lost. We had talked for over a year… that’s not like an accident. You don’t spend all that time with someone for no reason.

Anyway, I broke up with Andrew but he continues to mess with my head for the rest of spring and most of the summer. I was trauma bonded to him and confused. I kept trying to get answers out of him and he kept changing his story. I tried so hard to leave him alone and even met my husband. Actually things went very well for a few months until I decided I was going to date my husband. I didn’t even post about him anywhere on any social media yet but somehow it’s like Andrew knew!! Suddenly Andrew started trying to FaceTime me off and on but would only let it ring enough to get his name on my phone screen. He never let it ring enough for me to answer (which I probably wouldn’t have but idk that for sure) He just wanted to keep me thinking of him and keep me upset. 😢

My new man/husband says to me “You need to block Andrew’s number, otherwise he’ll keep doing this to you….” 😭😭😭 oh man. I knew my husband was right about Andrew but it sucked so much. I knew I needed to trust my husband and that I couldn’t trust Andrew but I was scared to change and confused what Andrew wanted from me. I was scared to let go of Andrew but I knew how much he was hurting me… So, I listened to my new man and blocked Andrew. Ugh. I was finally free but overly emotional!!!! I started to cry over the phone talking to my husband. I thought for sure he was going to hate me and be upset at me but instead, my husband actually says to me, “it’s ok… you’re allowed to cry over him. He hurt you a lot!” Wow 😮

So I moved forward with my husband but I was so upset and confused at Andrew. My husband asked me to marry him and I said yes because I wanted a husband so badly and I wanted to get over Andrew. Getting married did not heal me or make me magically forget or forgive Andrew. I believed I had forgiven Andrew and that I was good until it’s over a year of marriage and I STILL can’t quit thinking of Andrew…. 😓 MIND FUDGE!!!!! Oh I was so upset. I beat myself up. What was wrong with me???

I felt the disconnect and blamed my husband. What happened was my husband and I had our first big fight. (I had never been in a healthy relationship before where I can address conflicts, so I don’t know how) I was overly nervous and upset. I began to close off from my husband…. I subconsciously compared my husband to Andrew without even knowing it (emotional baggage that turned into an emotional barrier)

At some point, I can’t stop writing heart break songs about Cody and Andrew. I can’t seem to quit wondering why my past felt so toxic and heavy. Why couldn’t I move forward in my marriage and be happy??? My husband makes the statement that he is bothered by my amount of songs “about other guys” and wants to know am I talking to those guys AND says he thinks, “I’ve pulled away from him”…. Wow. I told him I AM NOT talking to other guys but I feel haunted by my past. I cried myself to sleep that night assuming my husband doesn’t love me… My husband didn’t even respond to that. What could he even say???? It wasn’t fair I was comparing him to Andrew and I didn’t even realize I was doing it.

Since my husband accused me of talking to other men, I got defensive and hurt. I don’t feel he trust me and subconsciously feel he’s trying to control what songs I can write and what I can post on social media. I began to close off from him more. (This all makes sense to me now) my husband is a very hard worker and while he may not understand me, he doesn’t walk away. I have felt so disconnected and detached but I’ve told myself it’s temporary that I have to remain faithful in my marriage.

The overwhelmingly withdrawals I’ve experienced, wanting to Google and unblock Andrew has been frustrating. I’ve held my ground though becuase I KNOW my husband is 10 times the man Andrew will ever be. Andrew can only hurt me. Now that I know what emotional abuse is, I realize what happened to me in my past relationships and I’ve been trying to heal ever since. It’s been a little under 2 years since I’ve found out about emotional abuse. I’ve felt like not everyone knows or understands, plus the fear of being judged. Also this crazy feeling of I don’t want others to talk bad about Andrew…. Am I just protecting him?? It’s weird. I feel like I can say what he’s done to me but I get defensive when others talk bad about him. What’s up with that??? 😝

Jumping into marriage gave me the opportunity to stay away from Andrew. I might have ran back to him otherwise becuase Andrew is convincing and knows how to talk circles around me. The fact I tried to break up with him 3 times and he always knew what to say to make me “stay”. That didn’t make me a weak or pathetic person, just meant I was a bit naive AND unlearned about emotional abuse. I had my heart and feelings completely invested in Andrew. I cared about Andrew and what happens to him, although I believe now he never cared about me. It was all his way of keeping control of me and wanting me to hurt myself. How else do I explain him??? 😔

Being aware of the things from the past impacting me currently, makes me now responsible for how I act, function and treat my spouse moving forward. It takes 2 though. Trust is a huge part of the foundation for any healthy relationship. It goes deeper than trust, understanding each other’s love language and how you handle conflict. My husband is the nicest guy but I’ve been almost afraid to fight with him because I’ve never been in a relationship where I can fight and have a voice. My exes were controlling, demeaning and critical. Fear of being criticized is real!!!!!

No one has a perfect relationship. Every relationship takes work. Also, remember the grass is not always greener on the other side! Healing DOES take time but how much time?? It’s different for everyone becuase everyone’s experiences are different even if they’re similar. There are many discoveries to be made, many set backs, good and bad days. The bad days are NOT a loss for you. They’re teaching you. Okay? One day at a time ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[pinklovedrops]

I am so happy right now, you would be so happy for me. I am the best I have ever been. I have grown SO much, I keep growing and learning and loving and living and it’s been amazing and so wonderful. Life is so good.

And I found someone, someone amazing who makes me laugh and feel loved. She looks at me tho,, with the same eyes I used to look at you. She looks at me with this adoration of first love and so so SO much love.

I have moved on, I still love you but I’m not in love nor waiting anymore. And I am trying so hard to give love like I wasn’t hurt before. But it’s hard sometimes. A memory, our jewelry, your perfume, a promise,, you are still wrapped so much in me. I had your bday as my password until last week. Your ghost is still here, but every time less and less and i’m happy for that.

You told me I deserved better, and this amazing person came to me and asked me to go out with them, came out the next day and introduced me as their partner. And their family is so nice to me, so much I’ll spend the holidays with them. I now see relationships as just something both people can share, without the pressure or necessity to have a future. But sometimes idk if it’s because of me and my change of perspective, or because I can’t imagine a future with anyone now. Maybe it’s both. Probably both.

Sometimes, when I’m alone at night and my thoughts get the best of me, I imagine what would’ve been like if I had all this with you, If we could’ve make it work, if you would’ve,, well, stayed. I’ll never know the answer tho so I have stopped wondering. Wondering if you had thought about calling in a moment of weakness, or if you know i’d always welcome you w open arms, or if you think about me sometimes. Even tho it’s almost been the same amount of months since we broke up as the time we actually were together….

And ik we are now both happy, and that while we loved each other, it just wasn’t enough. Now that the anger is gone, and the sadness and the pain, I really just remember you and us as we were. We tried so hard, and we loved each other so dearly and created a home out of our love. And I hope that in another life, we worked out. And that you stayed, and that the promises made were kept. I hope they are happy and receive all the love I still had to give.

Thank you, for everything. I wish that you have a life filled with so much love and happiness and beauty and safety and strength and everything good there is. <3

Goodbye.

[griffintail]

You can either take this as a request or just brainrot with me, whichever you want but: Thinking about Winged! Child! Reader whos like the youngest in SBI Family Au where whenever they see Dadza they rapidly flap their wings because they're really happy seeing him (mostly because of the bird qualities) and they also like chirp a lot. And then here's also just a small event i see happening: Reader is sitting on like a play mat playing with whatever and then there's Tommy just sitting on a couch not to far away. Philza comes from upstairs and asks for Tommy to bring reader to him because he's either about to go on a walk or smth with them (idk). Tommy walks over and picks up reader and starts walking towards Philza. As they're approaching him reader notices Dadza and just reacts like "Father! :D" and starts rapidly chirping, flapping their wings repeatedly, having their hands out reaching for him. As they're flapping their wings, the wings are just constantly slapping tommy in the face. Wilbur and Techno are just somewhere off to the side wheezing at Tommy getting slapped by reader unintentionally. AND to make it slightly more funny / wholesome, the siblings just have this game where like: "If dad asks you to bring y/n over, do it as quick as you can or else you get slapped by the child." If you do ever take this as a request, could you make it a oneshot where its just a day in the life of the family where they struggle getting through the day with reader constantly being happy seeing Dadza or whoever they like? - Bird Anon :> Remember to eat food, drink water, and sleep!

Just Another Day

Pairings: SBI x Reader

Warnings: None :D

====================

“Boys! Breakfast!” Phil called from downstairs.

Wilbur rubbed his eyes in annoyance before Phil shouted up once more.

“Oh! And someone grab (Y/N)!”

From across his room, he could hear Tommy practically falling out of his bed to scramble up so he didn’t have to get (Y/N). It was the rule between the three of them, whoever was last downstairs in the morning, had to get the small child. Wilbur huffed trying to get up quickly enough to at least beat Techno but as he stepped out of his room while putting his beanie on, Techno smirked from the stairs, Tommy long ago downstairs.

“Damn it,” Wilbur muttered.

“Be quick.” Techno chuckled as he went downstairs.

Wilbur sighed, before going into (Y/N)’s room where they were sleeping soundly in their crib.

“(Y/N),” Wilbur whispered gently as he carefully picked them up. “Time to wake up.”

(Y/N) chirped softly as they grabbed onto Wilbur’s shirt as he held them close to his chest while their wings gave a soft flutter. Wilbur chuckled softly at how adorable they were before going for the stairs.

“Come on songbird, breakfast.” He told them.

Slowly, (Y/N) woke up as Wilbur made it downstairs. It’s not that any of the boys didn’t like the small child, they were simply too adorable to dislike in the slightest. They just got a tad bit overexcited when…

“There you are kiddo.” Phil smiled at the winged child in Wilbur’s arms.

Quickly, Wilbur went to put them in their high chair as they chirped excitedly seeing Phil. He grinned in triumph as he managed to put them in their chair with only getting smacked in the arm by one of their wings. It was no secret (Y/N) loved their father.

Tommy was the first to find out the hard way how much (Y/N) loved Phil. Phil had been building (Y/N)’s room to finally have them move out of his room and was going to take a walk with (Y/N) for a quick break. He told Tommy to bring them to the front door as he quickly got changed. Tommy had picked them up from their blocks and waited by the front door until Phil came over. (Y/N) gave an excited chirp and all Tommy then saw was wings as they quickly flapped their wings against his face.

Techno and Wilbur had laughed their asses off at the time but had then since fallen victim to the same attack. Now it was always a fight to bring (Y/N) to Phil.

“Ok little crow. Calm down.” Phil chuckled gently running a hand over their head before handing out plates.

Though the reaction was very cute when they were alone in their chair, chirping as they tried to leave their seat to get to their father.

After breakfast, Phil took them on his own to spend some time with them. He played for a while but of course, he had to eventually work. So, Tommy sat on the floor with the small child as Phil worked in his office till (Y/N)’s nap time.

“Alright, I need to get a drink. Stay here.” Tommy told (Y/N) before going to the kitchen.

(Y/N) watched him before looking at their toys, making little noises as they did before they spotted one of Phil’s crows flying from the window and into the house. Making noises, their wings flapped as they tried to stand up. They managed on their feet but with their wings flapping, they quickly became unbalanced.

“Shit!” Tommy swore as he came back out and dove quickly catching (Y/N) as they fell over almost landing on their wings.

(Y/N) clapped their hands as Tommy groaned in slight pain from his quick save.

“Tommy, you better not be swearing around (Y/N),” Phil called from his office.

At the sound of Phil’s voice, (Y/N) once more flapped their wings and Tommy quietly swore as they hit him in the face.

“No, never Phil,” Tommy called back as he held (Y/N) from him as he sat up. “Alright, knock it off.”

Naptime came and eventually went as Phil was off to trade in a close-by village. (Y/N) woke up before he got home though and they whined in their crib. Tommy had gone to visit Tubbo and Wilbur had left to play a few new songs out in public, leaving Techno at home where he stayed to read. He sighed quietly hearing the small child and got up, going into (Y/N)’s room and carefully picking them up. Their wings flapped in annoyance, hitting Techno’s arms and chest, that Techno wasn’t Phil.

“Come on kid. Phil will be back in a little while.” Techno told them as he went downstairs, back into the living room where he had been reading.

(Y/N) wings still flapped and Techno hummed as he sat down.

“Now, I know you’re just trying to get a story out of me.” He said carefully balancing the child as he picked up his book. “Alright, here’s the story of Nemesis.”

He started to read the story and (Y/N) slowly started to relax before the flapping stopped and before long, the tiny winged folk was asleep once more in Techno’s arms. He nodded as he closed the book before laying back on the couch. It wasn’t long before he fell asleep as well, both siblings napping soundly.

When Phil came home, he came in as quietly as he could, going towards the kitchen to put down his trades but awed softly seeing pair asleep. Phil put down his things before trying to carefully pick (Y/N) up but the young child woke up and fluttered their wings happily as they saw Phil. The older man winced as their wings hit Techno’s face and the piglin hybrid grunted as Phil moved back with his child.

“Sorry, mate,” Phil said.

“Eh, it was time to get up anyway.” Techno rubbed his eyes.

“I’m very glad you’re always happy to see me little crow, but we do need to practice your control over your wings,” Phil told them as he went to have them sit in their playpen.

“That’d be nice I think for all of us,” Techno commented and Phil chuckled softly.

It was just another day in the Minecraft household.

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