#fucking hate that sh so much

[fjordfolk]

at this point both of my dogs' dams have passed so now every time someone refers to me as their mother i get to look them in the eye and say "her mother is dead."

[sleeping-at-sea]

I already knew the things Calypso did to Odysseus but honestly just listening to Love In Paradise over and over really just finally had it click and I realize how much projection I've done onto Odysseus and how most of it is honestly true and could most likely be true

[hershey-not-the-chocolate-maybe]

everything fucking sucks

[silly-lil-scribbles]

woag was just going into settings to look through my asks and apparently i lost like over 100 followers somewhere in the past like week or two????????????? i mean im not upset, my posts and art suck ass and idk why anyone follows me to begin with and nobody is obligated to stay but im just really confused if i did something now

[sualne]

hii! honeslty just curious, I read/watched kuroshitsuji AGES ago and I don't think I've finished the manga anyway, does grell go by she/her?? I vageuly remember ppl headcanonning them as enby though iirc in canon he's a guy?

Your tags peaked my curiosity, I haven't seen any Kuro content in a hot minute, but I remember it being the absolute must watch in my peak anime watching years lol And I absolutely loved the manga's artstyle

in canon grell is a trans woman, yana toboso has said something like "grell is a man with a woman's heart" ages ago and sometimes around 2014/16 had tweeted something about wanting to be more careful with her representation of people like grell in the future, don't quote me on that thought because i only read that tweet once and only remember reading a shitty screenshot of a translation of that interview where she allegedly said that.

i can however show you this:

it's from a bonus chapter (after chapter 108) about the popularity polls (it's a very convoluted non canon chapter) but it's one of the most blatant example of her being trans.

there's also the way she constantly refers to herself as a "young maiden" ect. idk how it goes exactly in the og but in french they translated it so grell always refers to herself with feminine terms while everyone else misgender her including the narrator. she very consistently reaffirm herself as a woman through every single ones of her appearances, like it's a thing she very much does, every single time she's on screen.

i haven't watched the anime in forever (cause it's kind of a disgrace and insult to the manga lol) but if i remember properly (which i mostly likely don't) they did omit/lowkey censor some of grell explicitly going "i wish i had been born a woman/could have been able to carry children" when she first properly introduce herself as a shinigami & the other half of jack the killer. (the anime also really did lean a lot more into the pervert queer caricature whereas in the manga she's given a bit more dignity, especially the further the story goes. though that might be my own impression and maybe it didn't change that much i just love her a whole lot).

also because i have to, please forget the anime (the first two seasons that is) and read the manga first and foremost because oh boy, what a disaster the anime is (nostlagia and atmosphere wise it's entertaining, i really love the op & ed, but it just, i just cant man it doesn't even compare to the manga at all). only watch book of circus -> book of murder -> campania movie -> the new private school arc that's coming soon (idk what they called it) after reading the manga.

[d3athanddecay1]

The urge to sh is so strong rn ;-; but we stay stronger... ♥︎

[endlessmidnights]

“They say I did something bad, then why’s it feel so good?”

— Taylor Swift

[froggys-casket]

I really hope tonight is the night I die in my sleep randomly I don't wanna be here tomorrow.💋

[music-and-trauma]

i hate that i can still hear my mother's words, condemning us for feeling bad enough to self harm without actually saying it.

"i can't go through that again"

maybe you should make your kids feel safe by leaving him then and they won't hurt themselves for attention or try to strangle themself or joke about slitting their wrists and taking pills.

maybe you shouldn't be fucking dead-weight when it matters.

[iwakuraz]

it's not going too well

[todostoast]

me when i make a joke relating to suicide or sh and someone looks genuinely concerned instead of laughing: 😐

[kit-katsuki]

ohhhb venting...

[twist3dserenity]

It’s been too long since I’ve been useful to someone, don’t you think?I’m rather useless. I can’t do anything right. I just take up valuable space in this world. And you know what? If I’m going to continue to be worthless, then I should be punished. it is now my job to stop eating, stop drinking, stop sleeping, hurt myself, and isolate myself. Counterintuitive? Yes. But if I really want to be alive, then I’ll start being worth something. If not. Then I’ll just suffer.

that’s just how it is everyone.

[gotmyass2marz]

i see you in everything. i think of you every day. you appear in my dreams. why?

[thornsnvultures]

it's so hot out it's making me evil*

[totalfknloser]

i need to vent because i feel like SHIIT anyway tw for suicide + self harm + insecurity

i don’t feel like my looks are good enough. i’ve been more and more insecure about myself especially my face. i don’t get as much attention as other girls do for their looks, it’s only rare compliments from only a few friends. i feel so fucking ugly. nobody ever tells me i’m beautiful/pretty/whatever unless i say it first or if they’re just hyping me up on a video where nobody else will say it. sometimes i get so insecure about my face i feel disgusted by my own shadow and avoid mirrors. i want attention. i want attention for my looks. i want people to call me pretty and compliment me and stuff. i never fit in at school and i really think it’s because of the way i look. all my life every other girl has been so much more beautiful than me. as insecure as i am, i’m not THAT ugly but everyone acts like i’m invisible or am that ugly. maybe i’m just delusional and i’m not as okay looking as i think. i feel ugly. i’m ugly. if i post one of those stupid tiktok’s where i lip sync like other girls do i don’t get complements outside of a tiny amount friends who are probably just over exaggerating their words and only a few likes while prettier girls get so much more. i’m ugly even with makeup. something is wrong with my face or something. is the rest of me even as attractive as i thought? which isn’t even that much. i thought i was at least a little pretty, but apparently not with the way everyone treats me. i just want to be loved. i want people to think i’m beautiful. anyway sort of related topic but another vent!! i’m so lonely. i need attention so bad i am insanely deprived of love and positive attention as i have been my entire life. if i could tell my little self how i would be now, how much she would suffer as she aged i think she would kill herself. i wish i could get the strength to do it. i just want everything to stop, i want to be at peace. i don’t wanna keep suffering. i’ve been suicidal for 11 or 10 years, since i was 8 or 9, that’s when i remember my earliest suicidal thought. before i even hit double digits. i don’t know why i just won’t do it already. i’ve been self harming since i was 11 or 10, i’ve gotten something sharper and my scars are much more visible. i don’t know what to do. i’ve been on meds for mental health since i was like 12 or 11 and i still feel terrible. i want to die. i want to kill myself but i’m too scared of death. sometimes i contemplate writing a suicide note and telling people how i really feel about them, how much i like them or i hate them. i know i’d hurt so badly so many people but it’s too much to take. i don’t wanna keep doing this. i wanna die.