#fucking gandalf quote

[freebooter4ever]

wait a minute. ned. please tell me thats not what i think it is.

[la-dent-de-lion]

I know the future is uncertain, and right now things seem grim, but please, my friends do not give in. You are worthy of life, and it is our duty to each other and to ourselves to take the time that has been given to us and use it. Remember, joy is an act of rebellion. They want you dead, they want you paralysed with fear. DO NOT GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT!

[drawfee-quot3s]

[gandalf voice]

it's a great cave-troll, i think. or maybe, a large rat. it's hard to tell

could be, several Birds standing Next to each other...

maybe it's a mcdonald's covered in skin. it's hard to tell

- caldwell

[bipolargreen]

No words necessary 🤷🏻‍♀️

More hobbit textposts because.

1/2/3/4/5/6/7

[qqueenofhades]

I'm watching the results come in for the French legislatives first round, and I have been following American presidential race and supreme court from afar. I am depressed. Please say something wise that will give me hope. I never thought to live through times like this.

Anonymous asked: Hey I know you said you’re avoiding posting about politics so absolutely feel free not to reply, but any tips about not getting hopeless? Especially when the fellow young people in your life are all clamoring to talk about how both parties are the same, they won’t vote, etc, etc (😑)?

Welp. It seems that what the people want to hear at this point is some Wise Words From Internet Grandmother Hilary, so... I will do my best to see what I can come up with. It bears repeating, as I have said many times before and will do so again, that I still have heard no better advice for living through The Horrors than the Gandalf: "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." Because, yeah. That, in its simplest essence, is it. We cannot control The Horrors. Individual people have never been able to control The Horrors, and five thousand-odd years after the invention of documented human history, here we still are, making the same stupid fucking mistakes. That is pretty maddening to deal with, and if you try to think of it like that, it is impossible to wrap your head around and it will only drive you crazy. So, then. What?

I will freely admit that I am scared too. Despite my best efforts, the post-debate furor wigged me out, I had to log off all social media and news sites for most of the weekend, not look at anything aside from one site I trust for two minutes, and try to get myself back in an okay headspace. So yes, rule number one: STOP DOOMSCROLLING. Please get a muzzle on that little voice in your head that says you HAVE to look, you HAVE to read everything, you have to KNOW JUST IN CASE HOW BAD IT COULD POSSIBLY BE. Then you look at stuff that makes you upset, and that leads to other stuff that makes you more upset, and then there you are in a stew of anxiety and anger and everything else that doesn't help. Do not look at the Bird Site Formerly Known as Twitter or news sites or anything else that is liable to have stuff that upsets you, especially in Panic!!! moments like this. It is designed to make you feel worse and it obscures the fact that nobody actually knows. Like, I devoutly hope that the anonymous "adviser to a prominent Democrat" and the NYT editorial board and everyone else screaming about how Biden should drop out right now step on ten Legos a day for the rest of their lives, but they also DO NOT KNOW (and given the NYT nakedly admitting to a personal vendetta against Biden for not giving them an interview, everyone can see exactly what this crass and unbelievably stupid sabotage attempt is, but yeah). Even if they get quoted in prominent publications, they do not know what is going to happen. They are not prophets. The NYT has, as noted, showed its ass 800 times before and keeps coming up with polls that are so ludicrously pro-Trump that it's becoming a cottage industry to debunk them. They are crass and cynical and trash and all that, they have vested interests, they have a platform, but repeat after me: WE DO NOT KNOW "FOR A FACT" THAT EVERYTHING IS DOOMED AND WILL NEVER BE OKAY AGAIN IF WE DO NOT LISTEN TO THE ALMIGHTY NEW YORK TIMES. In fact, the NYT has been so fucking wrong so fucking many times that at this point, I would bet on it being the other way around.

As part of my Bad Headspace Night on Friday night, I did picture the worst-case scenario of Trump winning, American democracy being overthrown, fascists around the world being emboldened, etc. It was a nasty mental picture and I didn't like anything that would come about if it did, but I had to remind myself that even if it did happen, well, the world would still be here, and good people who care about its future would have to do something to make that future happen. It would be ten times harder and it would be the result of another unimaginably evil and cynical fascist sabotage campaign, but... those are not exactly unprecedented in human history. (See: making all those mistakes over and over again.) People in the past were faced with those same exact moments where everything seemed monumentally hopeless and doomed for a generation, and they fought back, and they won. That's the thing. Fascists are evil and awful and terribly unnecessarily destructive, but they are not unbeatable, and they never have been. If we make the choice to resist them, then, well, they can be resisted. It will not happen by posting vaporous screeds on social media, or sitting on your ass and waiting for some miraculous savior/revolution/whatever to swoop in and save you, but it can happen, and it can work. That's what is very hard to remember in the current Horrors, but it's the way it's been for as long as there has been evil. It is not the be-all and end-all of the human experience and never will be.

Likewise: if a la the second anon you're being surrounded with people who are saying stupid things and making you feel worse: just don't be around them any more. It's that simple and you should do it. You can unfollow people who are posting defeatist rubbish, or you can avoid spending time with people railing about how everything is already doomed and voting is useless, etc. You may feel guilty because these people are your friends or you don't want to cut off contact, but you need to do what is best for your mental health, and if all you hear is BS, then, yeah. Pull the plug, cut the cord, do whatever you want. You do not owe anyone else your headspace, your attention, your mental health, or anything else, especially if it is demonstrably idiotic and incorrect. Find ways to do something. Go out and volunteer. Put down the phone (again, this cannot be overemphasized) and stop looking at doomerists on Twitter who get their engagement fix from making you upset and angry. Read a book, watch a TV show, visit a friend in real life, take a walk outside (if you don't live in a furnace, which unfortunately a lot of us do right now). Just sit and close your eyes and meditate. Stretch or move your body. Drink water. Super basic ordinary things that get you away from the increasingly frantic death spiral mindset and put you back in the reminder that things are never over and there is still a lot of time for everything.

As I said: I am doing this myself right now. It is not easy. I know it is not. I wish that we lived in a kinder timeline where this was not necessary, but as Gandalf says, nobody ever wishes for this and yet it happens nonetheless. But we can still control how we react to it and identify the things that are doing their best to make us feel terrible and doomed and hopeless, and make a choice to move away from them. We do not know what's going to happen, no. But we also do not know that everything is doomed, and you know what, it usually ends up not being that way. So that's what I can offer for now. Courage.

[nihilizzzm]

lotr/the hobbit incorrect quotes

part 6? is it six? might be six. i kinda forgot i left it in wips, sry

Gandalf: we need a plan

Gandalf: *points at Merry and Pippin* no explosions

Gandalf: *points at Gimli* no cursing towards elves

Gandalf: *points at Legolas* absolutely no using a shield as a fucking snowboard

Gandalf: *points at Aragorn* preferably no falling down the cliff

Gandalf: *points at Boromir* you just better be happy to still be there so stay quiet in the back, will you?

Gandalf: *points at Sam and Frodo* and we don’t sacrifice ourselves!

Gandalf: you know what, I will do the planning

— — — — —

Boromir, having no idea about geography of Middle-Earth past Rohan: so… you live in Mirkwood?

Legolas: so first of all, my father lives in Mirkwood

Legolas: I tend to live in the moment

— — — — —

Gandalf: so, what was your plan precisely?

Aragorn: Pretty much save everyone and come home unharmed?

Gandalf: plan, Aragorn, p l a n, not a fucking wishlist!

— — — — —

Just some random cook at Edoras: any allergies?

Éowyn: weak-willed men and cowards!

Éomer: and hazelnuts. she’s allergic to hazelnuts.

— — — — —

Boromir: as your adoptive older brother I will absolutely not allow you to do this stupid, immature thing…

Merry & Pippin: :((

Boromir: …alone

Boromir: and we don’t tell Faramir until we need to be bailed out of citadel’s jail

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

You know, I'm a huge fan of mirkwood elves being considered creepy and downright terrifying by almost everyone on Middle Earth, even by other elves. Your headcanons of them being nocturnal and eating the fuckin spawn of ungoliant of all things add on to this, sooo, can I have some incorrect quotes about some scary elves?

As asked for, some incorrect quotes:

Legolas: *starting to gut the spider carcasses after a skirmish*

The twins, who are visiting: what are you doing?!

Legolas: look, we can share if you want-

~~~~~

*in Imlardis*

The twins: *throw the curtains wide open* good morning!

Legolas: *hisses* wHAT DEVILISH CONTRAPTION-

~~~~~~~~~

Elrond: *talking about how food is scarce atm in Imlardis*

Thranduil: *pauses* you kill dozens of orcs on the regular, and you still don’t have enough food?

~~~~~~~~~

Faramir: I heard that those elves of Mirkwood will eat anyone and anything they deem an enemy.

Aragorn: oh, that’s an exaggeration-

Legolas:......

Aragorn: that’s an exaggeration, right legolas-

~~~~~~~~~~

Legolas: you two are like the sun

The twins: awww, thank you-

Legolas: a nuisance.

~~~~~~~~~~

Legolas: look if you’re stupid enough to challenge my people, you get eaten if you loose. That’s the rules of engagement.

~~~~~~~~~~

Thranduil: nighttime is Funtime

*silvans cackling in the distance as they slaughter all who cross their path*

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thranduil: of course I would never hurt a tree! They are Eru’s gift to the universe!

Thranduil: you, however-

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Galion: oh, the noldor are always like “oh no! The darkness! By god what will we do when there are no farms! The night is so scary”

Galion: bitch, what do you think life was like before ya’ll came?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Legolas: Eru may judge me, but honestly, fuck him.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Legolas: *dragging a spider corpse* life’s too short to care about other people’s opinions-

Aragorn: you’re immortal!

Legolas: fine, life’s too long to care about other people’s opinions. Happy?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glorfindel: alright, looks like- wHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?

Arwen:*snacking on a spider leg* this is really good!

Legolas, vibrating with excitement: I know, right!?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*in valinor post lotr*

Gandalf: ok, Thranduil has finally sailed, which means I need to get out of here before he catches me because he will definitely eat me for endangering his son-

Thranduil: hello, Gandalf!

Gandalf: *incoherent screaming*

[ecle-c-tic]

Middle Earth Asks

🥔 po-tay-toes: one of the hobbits invited you for a meal; who are dining with? Which of the seven meals are you enjoying?

🍞 lembas bread: what's the best road trip snack?

🌾farmer maggot's field: what is your favourite plant? Do you enjoying gardening?

🌼 simbelmynë: You've got the opportunity to bring one character back to life, who is it?

🍃 leaves of lórien: what gift would you most like to receive?

📽 action!: rank all six of the films (or three if you're a hater)

🚲 bicycle basket: what is your favourite middle earth meme?

🌟starlight: you're allowed to live in one of the Elf Kingdoms of Middle Earth, which one are you picking?

💀 Hey, did you know-: What is your favourite piece of behind the scenes trivia?

🌙 moon runes: which of Tolkien's languages would you most like to speak?

🧂 best salt in all the shire: which small joys do you most look forward to? (particular tea, using a perfume, rereading a book, etc.)

✂ cutting room floor: of all of the things that didn't quite make it into the movies, what would you have most liked to see?

☕ may I tempt you with a cup of chamomile?: What is your favourite hot beverage?

🐎 bill the pony: who is the best mount in all of middle earth?

🌳 fangorn forest: Which of Tolkien's creechurs is your favourite?

🔮 palantír: you've found a palantir! Who are you hitting up in middle earth? What are you telling them?

⏳ time and age: which poorly aged scene from LOTR is your favourite?

✨ evenstar: Who is your favourite middle earth couple?

🎆 fireworks: you're invited to Bilbo's 111th, what present do you think you'd receive?

🕷 creepy crawlies: which of tolkien's creatures do you think is the most frightening?

💍 my precious: what role do you think you'd play in the fate of the ring?

📜the company of Throin II Oakenshield: who is your favourite dwarf from the company?

🕶 i care not: what common complaint about the movies or novels doesn't bother you?

📢 motivational speech: which film speech do you find most invigorating?

🔥 barbecue: who is the worst antagonist?

🍿 popcorn: list your top 5 supporting characters

🎇 firefly: which (known) deleted scene would you most like to see?

⛏ expedition to Moria: which side character's adventures would you watch a spin-off movie about?

🎞 extra film: is there an extended scene that should have absolutely made it into the theatrical cut? which one and why?

🎵 can you sing, master hobbit?: Which song (from books or movies) is your favourite?

🖋 quill and ink: which of tolkien's themes resonates most strongly with you?

🗝 lost heirloom: which heirloom/object in the films or novels would you like to learn more about?

💿 leitmotifs and orchestras: which of the films songs (Howard Shore or singer) is your favourite?

🍲eowyn's home cooking: which other way could the ring be destroyed? (funny answers only)

🧙‍♂️precisely when he means to: what is your favourite gandalf moment?

⚔ you have my sword: what is your favourite aragorn moment?

🏹 and my bow: what is your favourite legolas moment?

🪓and my axe: what is your favourite gimli moment?

🍄 MUSHROOMS!: what is your favourite moment from the hobbits?

💎 the arkenstone: favourite Thorin and/or company moment?

🧵 spool: list your top five favourite costumes from any of the films.

📕 the red book of westmarch : what is your favourite quote(s)?

💛 family: what is your favourite family moment throughout the novels/films?

👀 the eye of sauron: who are you looking at disrespectfully?

🗺 arda: if you could travel anywhere in middle earth, where would you go?

👑the silver crown: the war is won, the world is saved, the king has been crowned. Who are you partying with at the coronation?

✏ rewrites: here's a pencil, which ONE thing in the novels/films are you changing?

🐺 GROND GROND GROND: which of the battles is your favourite to watch? is there a combat scene in particular that you enjoy?

⚠ fucking buckleberry ferry: from the clip of Dom and Billy discussing the one swear word they could theoretically get by censors, which line would you change?

📚 boxset: how were you first introduced to Middle Earth?

🏔 the misty mountains: the pass is treacherous, which two characters are you taking with you to make it over the mountains?

🌄 the rolling hills of the shire: what is your favourite outdoor activity?

🌋 mount doom: what middle earth take are you throwing into the fire?

⚙ technology: everything is exactly the same but you can give one character a modern invention. Who is it and what are you giving them?

⛵valinor: we're approaching the end of this game, is there a take/opinion you absolutely want to share?

🦅 the eagles: What thing or thought saves the day when it's not going so well?

🦗 weta: you're allowed to take one prop (or the canon useful version) home with you from the set, what are you taking?

☀ when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer: either share a piece of good news or something you're looking forward to.

📖 final chapter: what unanswered questions do you have middle earth?

[lazywitchling]

“So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?”

(Yes I did just order a pot pie from the chicken fast food place. I’m watching 12 hours of movies, I ain’t cooking a whole pot pie!)

Okay. Look.

When I was younger, my cousin bitched about elves at Helm’s Deep not being in the book, but I didn’t think it mattered because it’s cool and I liked elves and it made me the fun kind of sad when Haldir died.

But now I get why. (I mean, ultimately it’s a fictional story so it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of life, blah blah, you get the drill. I will complain about this, but I don’t care if you like it, ya dig?)

So here’s the thing. Theoden’s whole storyline throughout this movie and into the next is that he does not believe anyone will help him. Gondor could have come to save his people, but they didn’t. Rohan was left on its own, and people died, and that sucks. So Theoden has succumbed to the depressive thoughts of “We’re all gonna die anyway, why bother fighting?” (Hey that’s a major— actually THE major point of this whole story!!) He has hidden his people away to hide because he knows fighting is futile because they will be alone.

It’s a big deal when he agrees to go out and fight alongside Aragorn as the Uruks are about to overwhelm the keep. I said last year, Tolkien’s brand of hope is the difference between “I only have one hit point left :(“ and “I still have one hit point left >:)” Theoden STILL has no reason to believe help is coming, but he chooses to act like it is anyway, because the alternative is just curling up and dying right there. And he is rewarded, because Gandalf shows up with reinforcements!! Eomer, who has every reason to hate Theoden, brought all the riders to help! Everyone is saved! Hooray!!

But the damn elves show up in the middle of Theoden’s “Aw nobody will help us :(“ thing. And then elf help arrives. And he goes “Yay, help is here!!” And then nobody really mentions the elves again except for Haldir’s brief dying scene, and Theoden is right back in his “Aw nobody will help us :(“ thing. It just slaughters the pacing of the story, and Theoden’s arc along with it.

Furthermore, the elves say they were sent by Elrond, who has chosen to have the elves fight alongside mortals once again to honor old alliances! Except that Elrond isn’t really participating in this portion of his own character arc, and in fact doesn’t reach that “idk maybe mortals aren’t so bad after all” point until RotK. So it’s somehow fully out of character for him at this point even though he’s not even there.

ADDITIONALLY, it fucks up ARWEN’S story, because the whole thing with her is that she has to choose between sailing to the undying lands and being with her people forever but losing Aragorn, or staying with Aragorn who will eventually die and then she has no one left and no way to get to the undying lands and will never see her family again and will just live until the heat death of the universe. See, I’m pretty sure (don’t quote me on this) that there’s like… a respawn thing that happens with Tolkiens elves. They’re not only ageless, they’re unkillable. They CANT die. That’s why Arwen’s choice is so difficult. She couldn’t even live out life with him and then jump off a bridge after he dies so she doesn’t have to see the heat death of the universe. She’s literally stuck.

But friggin Haldir takes a sword to the head and has a sad death moment, and then I’m left wondering why everyone is pestering Arwen so much. If elves can die, then she has no problem.

I’m pretty sure it messes up other storylines too, but my pot pie is getting cold.

[sixty-silver-wishes]

I wish I didn’t have to be alive right now. not that I want to be dead; I just don’t want to live through whatever the fuck is going on. anyway where the hell is that gandalf quote

[thelongestway]

Gonna repost this because the original post I had this on turned reblogs off, and I'm thinking a lot about old sci-fi and fantasy and their impact on me today.

So. Most kids of my generation imprinted on Tolkien. I... Didn't, even though LOTR was probably the first fantasy book I made it through (and my favorite characters were Gandalf, and Gimli and Legolas' friendship (matched set, do not separate)).

But. Even though LOTR was my first big fantasy story, that wasn't what I imprinted on. It was the second book (or, well, book series) I remember reading all by myself. Roger Zelazny's Chronicles of Amber.

Reading the opening sequence for the first time remains burned into my mind, because that was when I went "Oh. This is me." about a book for the first time in my life. Here (spoilers, obviously, both in the quote and the summaries below):

"It was starting to end, after what seemed most of eternity to me.

I attempted to wriggle my toes, succeeded.

I was sprawled there in a hospital bed and my legs were done up in plaster casts, but they were still mine.

I squeezed my eyes shut, and opened them, three times.

The room grew steady.

Where the hell was I?

Then the fogs were slowly broken, and some of that which is called memory returned to me.

I recalled nights and nurses and needles. Every time things would begin to clear a bit, someone would come in and jab me with something.

That’s how it had been.

Yes.

Now, though, I was feeling halfway decent.

They’d have to stop.

Wouldn’t they?

The thought came to assail me: Maybe not.

Some natural skepticism as to the purity of all human motives came and sat upon my chest. I'd been over narcotized, I suddenly knew. No real reason for it, from the way I felt, and no reason for them to stop now, if they'd been paid to keep it up. So play it cool and stay dopey, said a voice which was my worst, if wiser, self.

So I did."

Rest of the book here.

And then Corwin breaks out of a mental hospital without knowing anything about himself and, barely lucid, makes his way through a world he doesn't remember.

Yeah, on re-reading it as an adult, there's a lot of stupid mid-20th century shit, especially where gender is concerned. But the opening. Bullshitting your way through an insane world, buffered by the feeling that "yes, this is reality as you know it somewhere deep below the amnesia." The Pattern and Logrus. Fucking up your attempt to retake the throne so bad you fuck up the entire universe. Biding your time in prison, blind and patient. Riding with and against the chaos you caused. And "if nothing greater devours us" as an answer.

And then the Chronicles of Merlin, and the lonely magician trapped between worlds with his pet artifact snake and sentient computer called Ghost Wheel. And the descriptions of what it feels like to manipulate reality that resists and reality that is so tissue-thin that you can go through ten Shadows in a moment, of living in fractals and talking to sphinxes. That was me later, but I think that any time I describe standing against something bigger than myself, and being ready to burn a hole in that greater thing with your own blood, the Pattern and Logrus bleed through.

And this book is where my love of the first person comes from. Because the first book I ever well and truly loved as a story was a book where you sat across from a Prince of Amber, and he gave you the wildest tea imaginable.

[malkaleh]

Rings Of Power 2X06

spoilers below cc @nocompromise-noregrets when you’ve seen

thank you Ulmo once again proving that you and Varda hold the Valars collective brain cell(s), especially re messaging delivery like THANK YOU KINDLY.

that is so much Elendil whump SO MUCH like THE POTENTIAL. Also he and Queen Of My Heart Miriel get married and they are both FINE ACTUALLY. They have three daughters running around.

Miriel really really just…I adore her so much. Her faith, her heart and the way she will absolutely be the best kind of leader and also that she and Elendil are shoving each other out of the way like NO I’M RISKING DEATH FOR THE GREATER GOOD. Love them. Love their decency.

(Listen Ar Pharazon is in love with Elendil sorry not sorry I am going with this (in text they were quote great friends in their youth I’m going with it, Pharazon is just hella jealous/possessive).

Galadriel really continuing the family tradition of getting chained up by the hand :(. (Also her desperate heartbroken pleading to Adar because she’s seen the awful shape of the trap and actually, despite everything she does not want this, does not want more people to fall to Sauron (yes even Orcs, I think).

Mairon really got stabbed with his husbands crown I think that’s hilarious frankly also…Adar it didn’t exactly work. I mean kind of. Temporarily. But I get why you’d think it.

(I am sad they don’t have Silmarillion Rights because there’s so so much amazing lore work here love that for me).

Sauron really gaslight, gatekeep, girlbossing horrifyingly.

In all seriousness it’s Awful. It’s abusive relationship (romantic) and possessiveness and using and I can feel it in my bones and the thing is, the thing is he’s using Celebrimbors ambitions yes - but overridingly it’s the desire to do good, to redeem his family name as well and :((((((((.

Charlie(s) plural are doing amazing but also CHARLIE VICKERS HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK. He is a maia somehow. He is alluringly horrifying and you can see exactly how Sauron is so competent, so very very dangerous and why he came so very very close to winning in the end.

Charlie II is breaking my heart because, G-d his abuser can literally manipulate reality and there’s so so little he can do (we know he won’t give Sauron what he wants despite all the pain, we know it but it’s still breaking me).

DISA MY BELOVED DISA (her singing, can we just discuss that oh my G-d. Also that Prince Durin looked that Fuck Ass Maia in the face and went ‘…fuck off’ BEAUTIFUL.

Harfoots very cute fyi (also party tree origin story?)

Still not mentioning Luthien’s name because Sauron too terrified out of his mind. It’s why he’s hoping to not meet Elrond thank you very fucking much.

THE PREVIEW FUCK. OW. (“I don’t want you to face this alone” I just…EMOTIONAL DAMAGE)

Both reasonably sure Stranger Gandalf (which is actually a cool lore bit because Olorin did not want to go to Middle Earth, was Terrified Of It if it is) and also maybe not.

Tom Bombadil might be aspect of Eru which would track with Eru.

In conclusion get a job stay away from them really applying to a lot of people in regards to Sauron.

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

At this point, I feel like it would be tragic if the Stranger turned out to be anyone other than Gandalf, and not just because I really want him to be Gandalf:

If he was one of the Blue Wizards or Radagast, we know he failed. All the Istari were sent to help the people of Middle Earth against Sauron. But the Blue Wizards fuck off to who knows where. Radagast sticks around, but he doesn't really do anything to help defeat Sauron.

Saruman joins Sauron. And I feel like the way he hurt the Shire would be so much worse if hobbits were the ones to help him when he first came to Middle Earth. It could make a fantastic story arc if done right, but to show such a drastic change in a believable way would take many, many seasons. While I'd love if the show continued past the second age and even did a reboot of the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, that's a huge committment. IDK if all of the actors would be okay with promising to spend what could be a decade of their lives on one show.

There's a lot supporting the Gandalf theory. His relationship with Hobbits. The shape of the staff we see. The greyish cloak. The quote about following one's nose. But ultimately, I feel like he's also the only option that would give the audience some feeling of closure about his story arc.

[treesandwords]

For anyone who's into LOTR I am rereading (again) and took notes on the weirdest/most interesting bits this time:

There are/were other magic rings beside the main ones, which is part of what makes it so hard for other characters to believe that Bilbo's ring is actually The ring

At one point Tolkien jumps into the POV of a random fox walking by our protagonists' camp and then never brings it up again, no big deal

The ever-controversial Tom Bombadil has several other names we just never talk about? And the elves (at least in Rivendell) know about him and have known about him for many years now

They also consider giving him the ring but ultimately decide it would be a bad idea because "he'd probably just lose it"

A lot of what happens to Frodo after he's been stabbed by the Nazgul is less symptomatic of dark magic and more of just...having a severe shoulder injury?? Like "oh no my hand is numb and I'm weak and can't move it, must be the evils of Mordor" bro you probably just have nerve damage and blood loss

Bilbo straight up writes and sings a song about Elrond's dad in front of him and a bunch of other elves in Rivendell like. The audacity.

There's a river called "Wetwang" (yes it's called Nindalf in Elvish, but that's not important here)

Aragorn never tells anyone else that Boromir admitted to trying to take the ring, it's implied he even keeps it secret from Gandalf once he reappears

The "Two Towers" actually refers to Orthanc and Minas Morgal, not Orthanc and Barad-Dur as the films suggest

Eomer has met and possibly was friendly with Boromir

Also Aragorn, who doesn't look that old, straight up tells Eomer he'd met both his father and Theoden when they were younger and he just...has zero reaction?? Like if a guy who looked not much older than me wisely said "ah yes, I met your father and uncle long ago" in a way that implied they'd worked together as somewhat equals I'd be. A little uncertain to say the least.

Oh and he also hung out with Denethor back in the day

Eomer and Gimli have a running disagreement on whether or not Galadriel is real, and if so, how hot she is

This is common ish knowledge but there are elements of actual Old English embedded into Rohan's worldbuilding (esp. the names/ "Rohrric" language) and the whole location is genuinely just Tolkien's fantasy version of Anglo-Saxon Britain. He is very not subtle about it.

Saruman was FULLY RUNNING DRUGS BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE SHIRE AND ISENGARD

And this actually ends up contributing to a main plot in the third book

Instead of the Palantir falling out of Saruman's pocket when he dies like in the movie, Gandalf shoots a spell at Saruman and makes him run back inside Orthanc and Wormtongue chucks the Palantir down at him from the window in retaliation

I know the potato scene is *iconic* but let's be real the fact that Sam risks a fire and takes the time to make a full rabbit stew plus seasoning while they're on a dangerous secret mission to sneak into the Darkest Of Dark Lords' fortress is kind of hilarious

Minas Morgul is some serious eldritch horror cryptid shit

Denethor is honestly such drama queen. Like I know he's supposed to be a threatening and tragic character but holy shit.

Also the entire houses of healing segment is unintentionally comedic

Like between the old lady who runs the house giving absolutely zero fucks, and the herb master and Aragorn having a mini nerd off about what Athelas/Kingsfoil is called in different languages, and also Aragorn and Pippin roasting Merry - who has JUST woken up from an Evil Coma by the way - about not being able to find his weed

"This weed is better than I thought" -- actual quote by Ioreth re: kingsfoil

This is something I noticed that a lot of people don't mention - the "Evenstar" that Arwen gives Aragorn in the movies that's tied to her lifeforce/immortality isn't really a thing in the books. The closest to it is this green brooch that she gives him via Galadriel in FOTR - but the only necklace she gives to anyone is actually to Frodo, as a token that basically means if he ever wants to go to the Grey Havens (as he ultimately does) he'd essentially be taking her place because she isn't going

Ok the scouring of the Shire is pretty common knowledge but are we going to talk about Lotho Sackville-Baggins became Saruman's dealer and helped smuggle drugs pipeweed into Isengard (see I told you it would come back)

Also!! Lotho was possibly EATEN by Grima Wormtongue, or at the very least Saruman believes he was, yes this is an actual canon thing

Legit quote from ROTK: "Worm killed your Chief, poor little fellow, your nice little Boss. Didn't you, Worm? Stabbed him in his sleep, I believe. Buried him, I hope; though Worm has been very hungry lately[]"

Seriously what the fuck

Saruman is killed by Wormtongue (who is then shot by a bunch of Hobbit archers) and promptly....disintegrates?

Anyway if you're a casual fan who's only seen the movies, or if you haven't read the books in a while, I'd highly recommend.

[helinyetille]

Hi hi hello 👉👈 so... Opinion on our Lord and Savior Strider Schneider? ❤️💫

Hiiii and welcome! ❤️

My opinion on Strider Schneider? 100% yes. In fact, I'm all for it. First reason, and this one is rather obvious, is the physical resemblance. Here's the quote from The Fellowship of the Ring book:

"...a shaggy head of dark hair flecked with grey, and in a pale stern face a pair of keen grey eyes."

Okay, his face is not exactly stern here, but you get the idea. And also the grey stubble ugh-

Gandalf also calls Strider "lean, dark, tall". Isn't it just a wonderful description that also applies to Schneider? He looks noble but there's something undeniably dark about him. Well, mostly about his younger version. (Now he is just a dorky dilf occasionally channeling his inner tier)

Book Strider is also very direct and straightforward. Sounds familiar, right? 🤔 And he can also be unintentionally hilarious and intentionally sassy, sometimes a savage even. Here's another quote from The Fellowship of the Ring book that makes me cackle:

"[Mr. Butterbur, looking suspiciously at Strider.] 'But if I was in your plight, I wouldn't take up with a Ranger.'

'Then who would you take up with?' asked Strider. 'A fat innkeeper who only remembers his own name because people shout it at him all day?' "

Oof. What a savage. I can totally imagine Schneider saying something like this. You would absolutely want to follow him to the end… into the very fires of Mordor but you wouldn't want to fight him. Because he would absolutely fuck you up.

So, yeah, here are some of my thoughts ✨ Thank you for the ask!

[nihilizzzm]

lotr/the hobbit incorrect quotes

part 2, ‘cause you seem to like it

Sam, trying to break the silence during fellowship quest break: If you had a shot every time you made a bad decision, would you still be sober?

Gandalf: yes

Aragorn & Frodo: i don’t think it would be wise for me to answer that…

Legolas & Gimli, with a delusional level of confidence: i would probably be a little tipsy

Merry & Pippin: oh i’ll be WASTED

Boromir: cute

Boromir: i would be dead

— — — —

Bilbo: you are irrationally angry all the time!

Thorin: Well, that is your personal opinion! I DO NOT have anger issues! Do you think I have anger issues Gandalf?

Gandalf: well i wouldn’t call it ‘an issue’, issue is something you can fix

— — — —

Gimli: could you both at least once, try to see it from my perspective?

Aragorn & Legolas, looking at each other: *both sit down*

Gimli: oh fUCK YOU-

— — — —

Aragorn: have you ever broken a bone?

Boromir: yeah, sure

Aragorn: did it hurt?

Boromir: no, not really

Aragorn, confused: wait what did you break?

Boromir: Faramir’s arm