#fucking bastard /lh

[peppermintstarsonamintyway]

SIR

SIR

S I R

YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE, I AM LITERALLY JUST DOING PULLS FOR WEDDING CAKE-

SIR WHAT THE FUCK

[sillygoofyqueer]

Bored, so part two of the Proper Cryptid AU™

The Burial Mounds whispers to Wei Wuxian. It learns that screaming and shouting just angers him - and that didn't bother It at first, until he begins learning how to use the resentful energy twisting through his body without having to ask the Burial Mounds. That makes him dangerous, but it's too late to pull away from the mortal turned...whatever he has become. So, It tries to appease him, keep him happy and content so that he doesn't notice how the power has shifted. It whispers instead of screams, asks instead of demands, suggests instead of simply taking control and puppeteering the dead body with a cracked soul. He won't notice how powerful he could be even without Its help. (He notices.) It whispers of revenge, and only revenge, at first. At first It floods his brain with the knowledge necessary to find and hunt his killer down. Even if that is simple things such as reading and writing, fighting, cultivating (a twisted, dirty version of it), anything to remove any and all obstacles in his path and then take the revenge that his blood (sluggish, coagulated blood) sings for when he remembers the unbothered face of his killer. Or would-be killer. He argues with himself about it, at first - is he dead? He was alive when he invited the Burial Mounds in, on the verge of death but still alive, but had he died in those few moments between him and it? Soon, it doesn't matter to him, because he knows that he isn't human anymore. He just wants to take his revenge, and soothe the spirits that cry at night, wishing and begging for freedom. (If setting them free means using them, then he will fashion a flute and use them.) As he hones himself to become a perfect weapon, an extension of the Burial Mounds and Its master all in one, the whispers of revenge turn to whispers of warning. The golden-clad man from the day of Wei Wuxian's death rebirth wishes to copy the ritual, the curse, after seeing how powerful the other man is becoming. (Who cares if it could be coincidental? Power is power.) Wei Wuxian wishes to help, but the Burial Mounds won't tell him anything more. He is not at the stage where he scares the information out of It instead, so he continues to learn, keeping an eye on the boundaries of the Burial Mounds that he made much clearer, more formal, when he learned how to. He learns, he frees, and he waits. When a child runs to the boundaries, screaming and crying and bleeding, with golden clad men in pursuit, Wei Wuxian shoves down the urge to make them feel how he this child feels ('too soon,' It whispers to him, 'too soon to reveal yourself.'). Instead, he reaches out and snatches the sobbing child into his arms, across the boundaries, and presses them close to his chest. The Burial Mounds screams in delight at the new sacrifice, the fresh blood being spilled, another weapon, a weaker-willed one this time- Wei Wuxian does not let It have the child. He carves a place in the Burial Mounds that is fit for a child, for a normal human, and he makes It bend to his will for the first time. (This time will not be the last.)

[calpalsworld]

there are AI IMAGES on TOP RESULTS of YASUHIRO HAGAKURE that look incredibly accurate to the anime style screenshots but he is slightly LIGHER SKINNED with slightly SMALLER HAIR and a YOUNGER LOOKING FACE and his jacket is ON HIS BODY INSTEAD OF HANGING OFF HIS SHOULDERS and i want to KILL PEOPLE

[synthshenanigans]

a WIP of the recent fit that I hope I will finish later & color.

also smaller doodles i miiiiiiight do more with eventually?? v

[simpgoose]

Well ok uh. Context for the story, I worked at a chain burger restaurant called Fuddruckers, the location I worked at shut down (as I think many of their locations did, that's not like a dead giveaway). There are a few stories I could tell from here because we had a rotating cast of people with. Notably strong personalities.

For this story, I'll say there was my GM, Clerk Girl, Fry Boy, and my partner. Clerk Girl, notably one of our most reliable workers. Fry Boy, local dipshit 17 year old (said affectionately) who looked a bit like a billy goat (young himbo redneck vibe. this is in the southeast US). My partner is known for... Finding chaos, not being unruly, but even coincidentally in accidents they always seem to be at least witness to something chaotic. (Sorry in advance I am a rambler and am terrible at telling stories)

One night, I'm the closing manager (I was maybe 19, they had a managerial shortage around the time I graduated high school and was the most reliable employee at the time. by which i mean i'd been working there longer than 6 months at that point) and I have Clerk Girl on the registers for close, Fry Boy is actually back on bussing tonight so he's supposed to handle the tables on the floor and keep the drink fountain stocked with ice. My partner is closing dish, the GM has left for the night bc he was scheduled to leave after the big dinner rush. All things said, this was a normal night and set up for routine success. Nothing was wrong with this set up.

We get a little busy, so I hop on a second register to take orders. I'm in the middle of an order when my partner and Fry Boy come up to my side and go "Hey uh. There's a problem" and I look at them and I go "Hey, I'm in the middle of an order, is it an emergency?" all while apologizing to the customers for the interruption. They look at each other and just stand back, so I'm thinking it's not that big of a deal. I finish the order, direct the last couple to Clerk Girl's register, and go with Fry Boy and my partner to the problem.

The drink machine. Is spewing ice cold water out of a crack in the bottom of the plastic. Onto the main floor. The LINOLEUM main floor. I panic, I tell Fry Boy to get a mop bucket to put under the drink machine. The rest of the machine isn't working so now we're out of sodas for the night, iced tea and hot coffee only. This is almost fine bc we're an hour out till close. I try to call the GM and he gives me instructions to find the release valve in the back to turn off the water to the machine. I spend. Maybe 15, 20 minutes looking for this thing, with a very explicit description of where it would be, and it's not fucking there!

Call GM back, he says he'll call the soda company to see if they can do anything or what. Ofc, bc it's a big name corporate help line, it's only open during "business" hours (meaning; not the businesses that use this company. just their personal hours) so there's no help there. In the meantime, there's a phone call. Clerk Girl answers it, I'm out on the floor with my partner and Fry Boy, who are using bucket after bucket to like. Pail this water to the backdoor to keep the flooding from reaching the carpet part of the floor. I try to send my GM a video of the crack and spraying but Fry Boy is trying to hold it down to keep it from spraying as much while I'm doing this, but I can't retake the video bc Clerk Girl, now that the restaurant is empty, yells me over for the phone. I get on the phone, assuming it's a customer complaint, because well. Of the whole shituation.

I was right! A man on the other end asks if I'm the manager and tears into my ass for "Not being on the floor with those poor boys. There's only 3 of them out there handling that situation and none of them even look old enough to drink, my husband and I were extremely disappointed by the lack of professionalism". Ok A) weird benchmark for what constitutes appropriate age to deal with a soda machine leak. B) Fair point I was 19 and I'm chronically baby faced I wouldn't expect anyone to know I was the manager even though I was in the fancy little collared polo managers got over standard worker T shirts. C) him having a same sex spouse IS important info for later.

Dude keeps tearing into me, I am trying to do my best "I am so sorry, what can we do for you" you know. Customer service manager thing, trying to get this guy to calm down and stop insulting my fucking workers. Also had a whole side tangent about Clerk Girl being rude bc she... Couldn't hear him over the kitchen fans? Like said she was rude bc she was asking them to repeat themselves. Bc she couldn't hear them. Whatever

He starts going into my GM too out of nowhere and I'm like trying to soften the conversation and all of a sudden this guy goes "Oh so do you think your GM is better than Donald Trump?"

Now. In hindsight. This wording does look obviously like he's a Trump supporter, right? However, over the phone, frazzled, and terribly dense to the tone he's taken from me, I think "oh! my city's a progressive area compared to everything literally just outside of it and this guy's gay so like. this will be fine" so I go "um... yes?"

Dude gets pissed. Gasps. "DO YOU THINK HE'S BETTER THAN JESUS?"

Realizing my egregious fuck up, I panic "oh no, no sir! I'm sorry, that's not what I meant at all" I am ready to cry. both bc i am tired and this guy is being so mean and i can't help with the machine while i'm spending 15 minutes getting verbally abused and also bc that may have been the funniest interaction i've ever had with an angry customer over the phone. He eventually goes "you know what young man, where is your mother, what's her number, you need to get out of that job and your parents need to know what they're making you do" like almost full blown getting on my side versus the restaurant which is. Hilarious doubly to me. However. This was. Just after I'd gone through court and intense therapy and legal consulting as a minor and had finally gotten me and my siblings out of my abusive as fuck mother's custody. Like that happened 2 months before I turned 18 and this was like. a year and a half after the fact, all of the trauma was still really fucking raw. And I don't know how much of this I can disclose to this guy and I'm stressed and I've been holding back tears and I can't hold them back anymore bc dude's asking about my mom who would've physically beaten me over something like this so I let myself cry and I just go "I-I can't, she's... She's not here with us anymore"

WHICH IN MY DEFENSE. Was not a lie. She was not here. With my family anymore. Because she had left town immediately after the court dates that she didn't even show up for. This dude goes full sympathetic gay uncle, flamboyant "Oh honey..." over the phone, starts telling me to quit this job, there are better jobs out there that aren't going to have me, a 19 year old, having to handle chaotic shit like this.

And he wasn't wrong! But also he's not the type of person I'm going to have lecture me about workers being taken advantage of after verbally abusing me for FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTES

Anyways I finally get off the phone with this guy. It was a 20 minute phone call. Apparently my partner had called our GM again, who was now on his way out. At this point, everything except dish and floor are closed, Clerk Girl's hanging out there bc she's related to our GM and he was going to pick her up anyways. GM gets in, has to dig to find the release valve- apparently he had forgotten that we'd moved our soda rack to the wall with the valve on it and had forgotten to tell me it was on. That wall specifically, and I couldn't find bc I was looking for a blue valve on a bare white wall that didn't exist.

We turn it off, we mop it up, and I tell everyone the fucking story of the gay christian republican who tried to get me to quit my job while also all but telling me to walk into traffic for not doing a good enough job. GM ends up apologizing for not just coming the first time, let's me take home some free shit from the bakery, but not after Fry Boy tells us his side of the story.

We used a large bucket to ferry ice from the back ice machine to the soda machine. It didn't make it's own ice so we had to refill it. Fry Boy, in trying to lift this bucket up to pour the ice in, basically threw the lip of the bucket up into the bottom of one of the soda dispensers and cracked it. When this happened there was apparently an old woman next to him who just looked him up and down and said "You really fucked up this time, huh?"

The funniest part about that though isn't even what she said. It's the fact that in all of this we had forgotten to tell our GM... Who had broken it. He had assumed it was a customer. So our GM looks at Fry Boy and goes "Oh! You broke it??" and Fry Boy turns. Pale white. Like a ghost. That childhood "oh shit" moment you got.

Our GM was cool about it bc he was cool most times people broke something as long as it got cleaned up immediately. BUT that brief moment of panic on Fry Boy's face.... Perfect.

All in all maybe my longest and most involved fucking. Story time from that restaurant. I have yet to have worked at any other restaurant that's given me stories quite that good, but part of that might also just be that that's the longest held job I've ever had (3 years bay bee)

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

[sepiasys]

We've been ignoring the towel left for B and I by S bc TEXTURALLY. It's fucking dogshit. I don't think it's a good towel at all, like at best you can dab at your skin. You can't rub your skin dry with it. It sticks with friction and refuses to fucking move smoothly. I also think it leaves behind fuzz or material, and I'm pretty sure it should be washed?

He asked if I, we, used his towel. Yes. Fuck you? Drying our hands with the grey one is SHIT. Drying our body with it is NOT HAPPENING. I'm using yours, fuck yourself.

I'm actually pretty chill but like ik that he sucks and I promise you there's a very slight idea of 🦊 complaining or wanting to fight (but they're not in front i think so ykyk. Which tbf is a good thing).

I'll honestly just like fuckin air dry if I need to. I am not using that fucking shit ass towel. If I need to and can I'll look for a towel like YOURS and fuckin keep it in our room, take it out when we need it, etc etc. We've had a bag of toiletries for ourself before bc of our unstable housing stuff, so I have no qualms with going back to it (even tho ik we'll probably forget).

Ugh if only we could fucking EARN money. Or like someone gives us money lolll (that cashapp still exists). Thats not including mom supporting us regularly or grandma randomly giving us a sum of money, I mean literally earning money.

We would absolutely get personal care stuff first, put it all in a bag so we know where it all is. Then its either baking supplies or that computer loll. Rlly its just like. Irl necessities first? THEN other shit that's more hobby or fun or whatever :P

[lovelikeghostsmp3]

Girl (gn) help Otto Hightower is about to be an F/O and I'm about to change my theme for him😭

[hooniehon]

⭑ ﹒LIL STEPSIS ⎯ LHS x SJY

✤ pairings. heeseung jake x fem!reader . 18+

warnings. ✤ stepcest noncon 3some degradation slapping double vaginal penetration praise clit stimulation mean dom!heeseung soft (??) dom!jake lmk if i forgot smth!

don’t like it don’t read it.

WORD COUNT ˳ 2k

the one were you couldn’t wait but have a night out with the date you found online to finally have a day alone without your creep perverted step brothers, but of course it didn’t go well.

⭑

“where do you think you’re going dressed like that?” heeseung questions, pausing whatever he and jake were watching on the television ⎯ heeseung has an annoyed expression on his face cause who are you trying to impress wearing such a sexy dress? whereas jake just scans your whole body with no shame, biting down on his plump lips.

your step brothers became 10x more annoying then they already were since your parents went to this 1 whole month cruise ship trip. that meant that you were going to be stuck with those two, you honestly didn’t think it would be that bad but oh brother were you wrong.. ⎯ all you ever felt was them staring you down like perverted creeps, you didn’t even feel comfortable to wear normal pyjama shorts in your own house it was that bad, cause all they would just do is stare at your exposed legs and have their teeth biting down their lips.

wanting to not deal with that anymore you decide to go on a little date with the guy you recently met on this dating app. wanting nothing more but have a nice day without those two perverts staring you down like you’re some piece of meat. ⎯ to go out of course you had to come up with your best outfit, wearing a tight short black dress a pair of black heels and some cute accessories. ⎯ you didn’t have time for their bullshit trying to walk as fast as you can to go to the door but of course it was too late.

“what do you mean can’t i go out anymore or what?” you say scrunching your eyebrows from the annoying question he asked. ⎯ “you know your mom asked us to take care of you while they’re gone right? i have every right to ask you a simple question don’t i?..” he says slowly making his way to the door to face you. ⎯

jake can’t help but follow his brothers steps just to accompany him.

“i’m just going outside to hangout.” you argue back, rolling your eyes from annoyance. he’s not even your real brother why is he acting so possessive over you like he owns you? you can’t help but feel icky whenever he does that ⎯ “with who?” jake jumps in out of curiosity. “that’s none of you guys business i’m a grown woman i don’t need to tell anything to you guys!” ⎯ heeseung cant help but feel more annoyed from your bitchy attitude, slowly losing his patience.

“just answer the fucking question its not that hard.” he growls out from pure annoyance. you flinch at the sudden attitude he gives you. ⎯ “like i said it’s none of your business now leave me the fuck alone for fucks sake!” you yell out and that was heeseung’s last straw.

he grabs you by your wrist nearly bruising you with his grip and drags you all the way back to the living room pushing you down on the couch. jake quickly follows after the older one, making his way to stand next to heeseung to look at your dress that started to bunch up your hips ⎯ revealing your white lace panties. he already felt his cock hardening at the delicious sight.

“l-let go of me you bastard!” you try to fight back by trying to push hands off of you but of course you got overpowered. ⎯ heeseung being long annoyed by your irritating attitude he gives your cheek a hard slap, trying to shut you up for once. “ouch!” you cry out from the harsh stinging feeling. ⎯ “first you want to go out dressing like a cheap slut and now you want to fight me off? if you want to be treated like a bitch i’ll treat you like one.” he spits out.

the older signals jake to sit on the couch next to where you were thrown so he could put you on his lap. ⎯ jake quickly gets ahold of your arms and presses his lips to your ear. “don’t try to fight back cause you know it’s not going to bring you anywhere sweetie.” he whispers and gives kisses to your earlobe, lowering down to do the same on your neck. ⎯ heeseung goes back between your legs and takes off your heels to take ahold of your legs that were trying to push him off of you. ⎯ he then bunches your dress up more to your waist and eyes your soaked white lace panties. ⎯ “are you sure you’re not enjoying this mhm? look at how fucking wet you are.” he says with a satisfied smirk. giving your pussy harsh slaps ⎯ you yelp at the pain, trying to push your hips away from him but all that did was make more friction between your ass and jake’s cock.

you can already feel his hard cock pulsing on your ass and can’t help but feel utterly disgusted by it. your stepbrothers taking advantage of you. ⎯ jake begins to press his lips against your ears to whisper something again for the second time. “just be a good girl for us and take whatever we give you okay?” ⎯ you push your head away from him to face the other side and he grabs your jaw roughly to make you look up at him again.

“like i said, be a good girl and just take it.” he announces again, his face giving you a warning. he begins to then pull down the straps of your dress bunching it to your waist, fast forward he also gets rid of your bra and begins pinching your nipples. ⎯ you try to suppress your whimpers by biting your lips harshly, nearly drawing out blood. ⎯ while all that happened heeseung took off your panties and began to unbuckle his belt.

“pl-please no, don’t do this to me” you sob out, tears daring to drop from your waterline, jake and heeseung give each other a look and both let out a laugh from how helpless you sound. ⎯ “if you just participate with us it’ll not hurt baby.” heeseung tries to reassure you, bringing his hands to pinch your cheek.

“hee let me fuck her first pleaseee.” jake basically whines from horniness, getting tired of having to rub his dick all over your ass the whole time. ⎯ “fuck no just wait till i’m done” heeseung says rubbing his thumb over his tip to smear his precum all over his dick, slowly pumping it. jake groans out in frustration and throws his head back.

you on the other hand just feel small between them arguing over whoever gets to be in you first. “you know what lets just both fuck her at the same time.” heeseung announces with a grin and you felt like your heart sunk down to your ass from what he said. ⎯ “w-what no! i didn’t agree on that!?” you scream out trying to fight them off again but as you do that you can only hear them chuckle at you again. you’re stupid for thinking you can really fight them off. “well we don’t give a fuck about what you think so just shut the fuck up and take it like the whore you are.” the older warns you. ⎯ jake slowly lifts you up from his lap so he can take of his sweatpants and underwear at the same time and your jaw dropped from how big they both are. jake noticed the expression on your face and leaves out a chuckle. ⎯ “don’t worry baby we’ll fit in just perfectly.” the younger says while stroking his dick up and down with a groan

you then can feel jake’s hands going up & down your waist while heeseung’s are on your face bringing yours to his to kiss you. ⎯ you don’t even bother to return the kiss, just scrunching your face from how rough he was kissing your plump lips. ⎯ he bites your lip signaling you to open your mouth so he can dive more in your wet cavern. ⎯ he begins to explore your mouth, sucking your tongue roughly.

while that was happening jake slowly got ahold of your hips to lower yourself on his hard cock, your tight wet hole making contact with his red tip. jake hisses at the contact of feeling your warm pussy on him and begins to lower you on his dick. heeseung follows you, still exploring your mouth with his tongue. you squeal at the sudden intrusion, jake can’t help but moan out loud, feeling you clench so hard on him.

“woah f-fuuuck sweetie calm down, your clenching so hard on me.” ⎯ heeseung finally leaves your mouth alone and beams at the sight of you making an uncomfortable expression. “h-hyung she’s practically squeezing me i don’t think we’ll both fit in her..” the younger moans out again. ⎯ “we’ll make it fit.” is the last thing heeseung said before he went on his knees to stimulate your clit, rubbing quick circles on it, you let out a moan from the amazing feeling making them both smirk. ⎯ “shit, hyung if you don’t get in her now i’m going to fuck her all by myself.” jake whimpers, and that was all it took for heeseung to slightly get up and push himself in you too. ⎯ you could feel both of their cocks throbbing between your gushing walls and gasped from how full you felt.

“a-aghh fuck!” you scream from the painful stretch, throwing your head back at jake’s shoulder. ⎯ jake slowly pulls out and slams right back in again with full force, making you let out a high pitched moan. ⎯ “of course she’s enjoying it like the cockslut she is.” heeseung grits. ⎯ you felt so overwhelmed by their sweaty bodies rubbing against you.

they then both began plunging in you, thrusting roughly in your tight wet pussy. ⎯ all you could hear around you were their moans and groans from how good you felt around them. “fuuuckk this pussy’s so good” heeseung moaned out from pleasure, throwing his head back while his hand makes way to your face giving light taps on your cheeks. ⎯ all you could do is whimper, being tired of having to suppress them from shame.

“baby loves being full of her 2 stepbrothers doesn’t she mhm?” jake remarks while having a awfully annoying smirk on his face. you shake your head fast not wanting to feed in their delusions. “oh stop trying to lie you know damn well you love this.” jake says, his hand making way to your clit, rubbing it harshly which makes you let out another moan. “see?”

“shit i’m so f-fucking close.” heeseung let’s out while thrusting much more roughly. his hand going to your throat to choke you “gonna cum all over you.” he states, tightening his grip around your throat. “a-agh!” you whimpered from how close you were.

they could both feel how close you were and that gave their ego a boost, thrusting in you like their lives depended on it. “fuck yeah be a good bitch and come on our cocks.” heeseung says.

you don’t even like being called names like that but that was all it took for you to cum on both their dicks. covering your hand to your mouth to make it look like you just didn’t moan so hard. “y-you did so well for us.” jake praises you while his hands are still bruising your hips from the grip he leaves on them. he grabs your hips tighter, signaling how close he is but heeseung grabs you off him and manhandles you on your knees before him grabbing the back of your hair for leverage. you and jake both hiss from the loss of contact and jake huffs an annoying groan, but decides to keep his mouth shut. “f-fuck agh, gonna cum all over this pretty face.” he announces as white ropes spurt all across your face. you couldn’t even process everything from how fast he made you go on your knees. you then get turned around by jake, still being on your knees as he jerks his cock off to leave his release on your face too. “mhphhh!” jake whimpers out as his release spurts on your face too.

heeseung grabs you by the hair again to make your wobbly legs stand up and gives your lips a peck.

“such a good lil stepsis for us.”

it’s finally outtt!!! 🥹

[hostess-of-horror]

TIM CURRY SPRINGTRAPAHAUGAFUCKINSHHAOOH GOD

[certifiedcodbabygirl]

clearly the only solution to the penpal au is you’re supposed to write to ghost but the entire task force hijacks the letters every once in a while. /hj /lh

Price also ends up doing that too once he realizes why the entire team becomes obsessed with writing letters

DUDE YES *smooches your brain*

Simon starts writing to you through a military penpal program Price had all of them in. Ofc, like the rat bastard he is, he drags his fuckin feet on it. Eventually, you manage to get him a little more willing to write back and it seems like he even looks forward to it. He's the first one to grab his letter from the container when they come. He claims it's to get it over with, but the other guys know better.

You'd think the other guys would be the ones more open to their penpals but NO. They managed to be paired with some of, who they call, the most boring people they could have met. Hell, even Price began to drag his feet after the 2nd letter back.

Simon seems to be the only one actually enjoying his exchanges, even if he tries to hide it. Johnny's the first one to get curious, wanting to know what the LT's got that's good enough to loosen the stick in his ass.

While Simon's out of the room, Johnny reads through the first couple letters Simon received. Your sweet words, stupid jokes, and genuine care are a stark contrast from the uninterested and short words he received from his penpal.

He stops writing to his penpal, not that they noticed/ cared, and grew the balls to write you one. He claimed his penpal dropped out, so they had to make do, not that you minded. And God, when you started to write back, he swore it was like he was a schoolboy all over again. Getting excited for the letters, heart racing as he reads your carefully written words, counting down the days till he gets another.

He gets ballsy one night and opens up to Gaz about what he did, not showing a single crumb of remorse. Tells him all about how sweet you are, how you show genuine care for his safety, even giving the idea of sending a care package. He could see that same thought process going through Kyle's mind, contemplating switching to you. He gave Kyle your address and told him to just come up with an excuse.

Now Kyle's a little smarter than Johnny, knowing that if Ghost finds out he's probably fucked. However, at the end of the day, he's a lonely man. He had this sweet thing like you just within reach and he's supposed to not take it? Yeah right.

He gave the same excuse Johnny did, claiming his penpal's schedule became too busy to write back, and just like that you had 3 soldiers wrapped around your finger. He sweet talked you, gave little puns here and there, really became like a lap cat. He wasn't as forward as Johnny and not as refrained as Simon. He gave you music recommendations when you say you like a certain genre, he gave you book recommendations, even sent you photos of him in front of a helicopter (you begged for it when he told you about him falling out).

Now, Simon isn't stupid. He isn't clueless. He noticed that the first couple letters went missing. Then he noticed Johnny being more eager to write. Same with Kyle. He noticed how they seemed to pull away from him when the topic was brought up. He's not a stupid man.

He might even be considered generous (don't say it to his face though, he'll take it as sarcasm). He knows the boys are talking to his penpal, but he'll be kind enough to share. His sweet lil thing. If you can keep up, that is. Your letters seem to boost morale and bring a small light that wasn't there before. They're all hard-working men, risking their lives to keep the world clean. They deserve this, don't they?

Even Price finds himself wanting in on it. If you can manage to bring Simon happiness (again, he won't admit it) and keep the other boys happy, surely you can take on one more. He sends you a letter, as their captain, and thanks you for what you've done. You're such a kind soul for giving these men some hope in their lives (laying it on thick, gotta keep em interested) and how much you've helped their performances.

They all write to you, their unofficial 141 penpal, and it works surprisingly well. The lines begin to blur a bit on being platonic and something else, but it'll be sorted out eventually. For now you're just theirs (Simon came around to it once he realized you had plenty of love to go around). You're the 141's, even if you don't fully understand what that means.

The first picture they send to you, around Christmas^ (I can't find the artist, please tag them if you know who it is)

[suntoru]

─ ✰ INVISIBLE STRING.

─ SYNOPSIS: the three times you coincidentally bump into toji fushiguro and the one time you find out it was intentional.

─ WARNINGS: 3.4k words!! not proofread, swearing, fluff, ooc toji?, mentions of a dildo, mild violence, creepy perv (not toji), BABY MEGSSS, idk i started yapping halfway through

— AUTHOR’S NOTE: GUYS I LOVE TOJI. I LOVE HIS SLUTTY WAIST. disclaimer i’m only like 6 episodes into jjk i apologize if the characterization is off!

— the first time your ever meet toji fushiguro is on a friday at 8PM. you don’t expect to be so downbad for somebody you just met, much less in a grocery store in your pajamas, but here you are. and fuck, he’s hot. he’s clad in a snug, black compression shirt that outlines his biceps so nicely and enticingly low-waisted white sweatpants that fall deliciously on his hips… compared to him, you look like a hobo in your ratty old pajamas. scratching your head in embarrassment, you instantly look away before he catches you staring— and thank god he speaks up, his voice interrupting your less-than-innocent thoughts.

“think that’s mine,” he motions casually to the black-haired cherub curled up in your arms. the little one’s eyes, swollen and red from the relentless wailing for his papa just seconds earlier now lights up immediately, adoration clear in his eyes. his tiny little arms outstretches towards toji in an adorable plea to be held. rolling his eyes, toji relents, scooping megumi up with one arm and securing him in his hold.

“cute kid.” you coo, ruffling the doe-eyed toddler’s hair affectionately.

“yeah… cute little brat,” he mutters in a low voice. “where’d you find him?” you giggle softly. “was in the toy section playing, noticed he was alone, then started to cry… be more careful next time, okay, ’gumi?” the child nods his head shyly, burying his face in his daddy’s chest. you wish that was you don’t u u horny degenerate /lh

“swear to god, he won’t listen to me when i tell him stuff. and he gets sad too easily, cries when he isn’t allowed to buy whatever he wants…” toji scoffs, pinching megumi’s cheek and a small whine escapes the toddler, effectively tugging at your heartstrings. what a cute little family.

“the mama must be real pretty; cause he certainly doesn’t take after his grumpy papa.” you lightheartedly joke, allowing the black-haired baby to toy with your fingers. “the mom’s out of the picture.” toji nonchalantly reveals, an unexpected hush falling over the conversation.

wide-eyed, you realize the awkwardness that your comment had caused. “i-i’m so sorry!! i didn’t mean to—” you stammer, feeling a pang of regret. “‘t's fine, shit happens.” he shrugs his shoulders ever so casually, dispelling the tension in the air. “it’s just me and this little gremlin here,” he adds, and despite his earlier insults towards the adorable baby, it’s crystal clear he loves him— even if he won’t readily admit it out loud. being a single dad… you can’t even imagine it. must be so hard…

you're so caught up in your feels that you don’t even notice when toji takes a peek into your grocery cart, a snicker escaping him. momentarily confused, you follow his gaze and then it hits you— oh no. what you originally came here to do, the reason you didn’t even have time to dress properly was because it was the last discount day for– looking down in horror, placed proudly, right on top of your cart, is an obnoxiously bright pink silicone dick.

the realization hits you like a ton of bricks, and a flush of embarrassment colors your cheeks as you fumble for words. “i-i… um… c-can explain!!” seemingly enjoying your flusteredness, he loses no time teasing you. "someone's clearly single." he remarks, a smug look plastered on his face. he snatches it out of your cart, dangling the object just out of reach– this bastard!! capturing megumi's attention, the innocent curiosity in his little mind interprets the funny-looking object as a potential toy, prompting him to reach out with grabby hands.

in a state of panic, you swiftly smack it out of toji’s hands, but you fail to realize there’s somebody in your way– you accidentally hit a balding, middle aged man square in the face with a dildo. a fucking dildo. letting out an audible gasp, you quickly turn away as the now angry man swivels around, searching for the perpetrator angrily. your efforts to stay inconspicuous prove futile as the 6'2 sorcerer can't contain his laughter, earning a few odd stares from shoppers passing by.

"it's not funny," you whine, feeling the heat creeping up to your face as he wipes away a tear, still clutching his stomach. he grins tauntingly, wholeheartedly amused.

"nah, that shit’s hilarious."

— “mama, mama!!” coincidence seems to strike once more, for your second encounter with toji fushiguro comes about a week later. you’re minding your own business in a neighborhood park, in the middle of texting your friend when little megumi joyfully latches himself onto your leg, gurgling happily, effectively scaring the shit out of you. safe to say, you're surprised— mommy? you'd met him once for thirty minutes and he's imprinted on you.

but you can't find it in yourself to be mad; he's practically looking at you with stars in his eyes. so you cave, crouching down to meet his height, patting his teeny tiny head gently.

"hi megs!! where's dada?" you question, and sure enough, the adorable little cherub points enthusiastically to his father, who happens to be engaged in conversation with two women. they’re giggling obnoxiously, stroking his biceps and being overly touchy, and he seems to be enjoying it. in an instant, all your former attraction seems to dissipate in an instant. an annoyed huff escapes you— of course, he's a manwhore. you should've known, he seems like just the type, but letting your kid leave your sight was just completely unacceptable.

feeling pissed, you can practically feel a vein bulge in your forehead. you’re going to knock some sense into that thick skull of his. scooping up megumi, you march up to toji, making sure to be extra cautious while holding him in your arms. what was he thinking? is it like this all the time? him getting distracted by a pair of tits and forgetting about his own son? seriously, this man needs to get his act together.

as soon as he’s in range, your free hand swiftly makes contact with the back of toji's head, letting out a loud ‘thwack’ noise on impact. he lets out a painful groan. "the fuck?" toji curses, rubbing the back of his head. unfazed, you return his sass with a stern expression.

"the hell do you think you're doing? talking to girls instead of taking care of your kid? no wonder 'gumi wanders off all the time, you didn't even notice he went missing! stop thinking with your dick all the time and start thinking with your head!!" you scold the older man as he scoffs. "me? you're one to talk, buying a rubber cock for your lonely ass. who the hell are you to judge my parenting?"

you're about to retaliate when the two girls exchange a glance, scowling in annoyance as they side-eye both you and toji. "y'know, if you were married, you could've just said so in the beginning." one of the girls pipes up as the other nods her head. "yeah, stop wasting our time loser, lets go." and before he can respond, they storm off dramatically. he rolls his eyes at them, sticking up his middle finger at their backs.

“whatever. they were bitches anyways. and you’re a real killjoy.” you flick his forehead lightly. “the fact that i, a complete random stranger, takes better care of this kid than you is quite concerning.”

“yeah, yeah, whatever.” he mumbles snarkily, attempting to snatch megumi away from you. he can’t believe his eyes when the chubby little baby starts to tear up, clutching onto you tighter and repeating babbles of ‘mama.’ “megumi, get down from there!” toji hisses. “listen, ya little brat, that ain’t your momma.” glaring, you attempt to hand back the stubborn ‘brat’ to his father, but to your (and his) dismay, he continues to latch onto you with an iron grip. if you didn’t know any better, with how megumi was acting, you’d think toji had never dealt with a child before. all he did was glare daggers at the both of you; the longer the interaction went on, the more irritated he got. a scolding glare towards his son, then the stranger.

“for the last time, stop clinging to that woman! she isn’t your mother.” the poor baby’s eyes glass over, about to burst into tears as you rock him in your arms, letting out a huff in annoyance. “calm your whining. you think he’s going to listen if all you do is yell?”

“fine. i’ll just… pick him up then.” toji grumbled, looking annoyed as he bent over to retrieve his son from your arms. as soon as he picked him up, megumi began wiggling and trying to get away from his father. “stop that.” toji’s face was filled with annoyance as his son’s stubby little fingers wrap around your shirt tightly. he tries his best to be gentle as he pries the baby away from you, yet the little boy began to cry and reach for you. it was clear the youngest fushiguro had developed a strong attachment to you, the stranger who helped him once before.

“‘gumi…” you coo in the softest voice you can manage, pinching his cheek softly. “listen to dada, okay? i’ll buy you ice cream if you’re good.” at the sound of a frozen treat, he instantly stops crying and settles into his papa’s arms, gurgling happily. toji looks at you in utter shock; he lost count of the amount of times he had tried so talk some sense into his little son— but just once from some random stranger, he chooses to listen. the 6’2 sorcerer sighs in defeat, sending his baby another scowl.

clearly, megumi has no sense of loyalty.

— “well, well, well… you again. i’m starting to think you’re jus’ following me now.” for the third time, you guessed it: toji fushiguro. at this point, it was becoming harder to dismiss these encounters as mere coincidences; had the universe suddenly decide to play matchmaker?

“huh?” you scoff, glancing up from your notepad. of course, he had to choose this exact coffee shop to stroll into while you were on your shift. “i work here.” he eyes you cockily, emanating more of that stupidly hot confidence that somehow makes your heart beat just a little faster than it should.

“be honest— you really just got the job cause you heard i’d be here today.” deadpanning, you roll your eyes. he can’t be serious; he’s such a manchild. “yes, because you’re such a celebrity. where’s megs?” you question, noticing the absence of the adorable baby usually accompanied by his obnoxiously sexy father.

“daycare.” he responds with a lazy drawl, his voice a low, resonant hum that sent shivers down your spine. he seemed engrossed with picking something at his nails, the nonchalant demeanor accentuating the sculpted lines of his features. "you know, it's a shame. you seem a lot less charming without a certain little one running around." you yawn, deliberately trying to piss him off.

as if challenging you, he straightens up, piercing grey eyes locked onto yours. leaning forward onto the counter, his proximity sparks something in your core— was he always this pretty? no wonder he’s popular. his lips look so damn kissable. (you wonder how they’d feel against your own.) your heartbeat picks up as you find yourself unable to keep eye contact, pupils darting elsewhere. you really hope your cheeks aren’t as red as they feel.

“…u-um. your order?” he grins cockily, pulling back at your surrender. “an espresso. and here, the extra dollar's for you.” he casually tosses you a crumpled wad of cash, and at a glance, worth just a little over one dollar and fifty cents. …you can already sense a burgeoning headache destined to plague you by the end of the day.

“…just— whatever. keep the money. it’s on the house.” you groan, escaping from the dumbass man to the back to retrieve the coffee beans. as you scour the shelves stocked with coffee supplies, you attempt to find the espresso beans.

you thoughts, however, are interrupted when your coworker suddenly pops up, prompting an involuntary shriek and effectively scaring the shit out of you. she beams brightly, enthusiasm radiating from her as she clutches onto your arm, ignoring your reaction completely.

“that customer is just my type!! tall, handsome, hot… mind switching with me, please, please, pleeeeeease??” she begs, her eyes wide with desperation and in her best attempt to coax you. you end up relenting pretty easily— after all, you owe her for the numerous overtime hours she's covered for you, but you can't ignore the unmistakable pang of jealousy tugging at your heart. what’s wrong with you? you shouldn’t care, not in the slightest. shouldn't. he's a random stranger who you just so happened to bump into three times now. toji fushiguro is a womanizer, a horrendous father, and an arrogantly cocky man. but for some reason, you find yourself growing… attached.

your eyes follow your coworker, parading out of the storage room with her lips freshly glossed and a flirty smile on her face. a pang of annoyance prickles at you; you're sure he'll absolutely eat her up.

determined to distance yourself from the sight, you trudge over to the adjacent cash register, taking over for your fellow coworker's customer. a friendly smile graces the face of the person in front of you.

"hi." he smiles brightly, greeting you in a friendly manner. "can i get an iced americano?" you nod, ringing his order up. his request is met with a nod from you, and you smoothly proceed to ring up his order. the clinking of the coffee machine acts as a backdrop to the interaction, your mind momentarily distracted by the lingering sensation of unease in your stomach. once done, you serve the ice-cold drink to the customer, who happily takes it, eyes gleaming in satisfaction before winking charmingly.

"and an extra tip for the pretty barista." he says, his tone suggestive as he hands you a bill. is he... really hitting on you? the air thickens with an uncomfortable tension, and you mutter a somewhat awkward thanks, his smile widens, and he leans in, making you feel slightly uneasy.

"isn't this the part where you give me your number?" he teases, leaving a silent pause that hangs in the air. "uhm... i'm really sorry, but... uh-" before you can finish, he boldly grabs one of your hands from across the counter, getting a little too close for comfort. "no need to say anything, cutie. our lips can do the talking." the fuck is wrong with this creep?

you attempt to snatch your hand back, but his grip is like iron. panic starts to set in as beads of sweat form on your forehead. what are you supposed to do in this situation?

just as the tension becomes nearly unbearable, a large hand intervenes, firmly gripping the weirdo's collar. a hand you so thankfully recognize intervenes just in the nick of time. toji's voice, dripping with venom, cuts through the charged atmosphere.

"why the fuck are you touching my spouse?" his snarl, coupled with an ice-cold glare, sends shivers down even your spine. a plausible lie, and extremely believeable. the smaller man stutters, his eyes searching frantically for an escape from toji's wrath. "i-i, um..." he stutters, eyes looking frantically for help. without a moment's hesitation, toji forcefully drops the intruder to the floor, his intense glare bearing down on the now-submissive figure.

"next time, i'll make sure you pay for it." he warns with a chilling undertone, his voice resonating with a quiet but unmistakable threat.

— seven days after the incident, you find solace in a quaint bookstore, its ambiance offering a quiet and peaceful haven for your studying. you're deep in thought, productivity at an all time high. however, the tranquility is soon disrupted by the unmistakable bickering of a child, no older than two, engaged in what seems like a standoff with a fully grown adult. who in the hell would argue with a kid...?

suspiciously, you stand up, leaving your laptop unattended for a split second to take a peek into the book aisle where the sound was coming from. and just as you suspected; there stands toji fushiguro. you suppress a giggle seeing him all crouched over, a pissy expression on his face.

"ya little rat, go give this to y/n. mama. mama, y'hear?" he hisses under his breath, his words an amusing blend of authority and exasperation. he attempts to give a rose to the stubborn little cherub, who violently shakes his head in refusal. holding a book almost as big as himself, he stomps his tiny foot, lifting the curious george volume even higher, adorned with a big pout that adds an extra layer of adorableness to the scene. "i'll read to you later, so just-"

"well, well, well… you again. i’m starting to think you’re just following me now."

you quip, echoing the words he tossed your way exactly a week ago. a smug grin stretches across your face, savoring the sweet taste of his embarrassment. he whirls around, momentarily losing his cool, a curse escaping his lips as he throws his head back. is that a hint of pink dusting his cheeks? you can't help but revel in delight. and as if on cue, megumi beams at you, his small frame waddling towards you with unbridled joy as you scoop him up with ease.

"mama!!" he cheers as you ruffle his hair playfully before turning your attention back to the other 6'2 baby towering over you. "looks to me like you're the obsessed stalker." you tease, a genuine grin stretching across your face. wiping a mock tear from your eye, you catch a glimpse of toji's eye roll, his attempt to feign composure failing as a trace of a pout plays on his lips.

"shuttup," he groans, rubbing the back of his head. he attempts to use this banter as a distraction, sneakily concealing the gift behind his back. but you're not one to be outplayed.

"not so fast..." you grin, skillfully snatching the crimson rose from his grasp before he can offer any protest. it's undeniably pretty, and you find yourself admiring it, a soft smile playing on your lips. you glance back at toji who, now hands tucked into his pockets, deliberately avoids eye contact. "never knew you were much of a charmer." you playfully jest, twirling the delicate flower between your fingers as a teasing smile graces your lips.

"i'm not." he shrugs, an air of nonchalance surrounding him. you set megumi down, allowing him to gleefully grab another dr. seuss picture book.

"awww, so then am i just special?" you snicker, lashes fluttering softly, the lighthearted banter echoing through the quiet aisles of the bookstore. perhaps a little too loudly, as an employee, with an air of rudeness, suggests that all three of you should be a little more discreet before you're escorted out.

apologizing profusely, you struggle to contain your laughter as the employee, irritated by the disturbance, makes a dramatic exit. unbeknownst to him, however, a janitor quietly mops the floors right behind him— resulting in an unfortunate slip and a rather audible rip as his pants succumb to the unforeseen mishap. your face turns pink, and you bite your lip, desperately trying to stifle your laughter to avoid drawing further attention and the risk of being kicked out.

you manage to slap toji's mouth shut, a preemptive measure against the impending witch cackle that could escape if left unchecked. the employee shoots both of you one last glare, clearly unimpressed, before huffing and storming off in a hasty retreat.

exchanging a knowing glance with toji, you finally peel your hand off his mouth, the quiet snickering between you two escalating into unrestrained laughter. as the atmosphere gradually settles, you can't help but notice toji's intense gaze fixed upon you, a look that goes beyond mere amusement.

it's a gaze so deep, so penetrating, that it seems to hold an enchantment of its own. in that moment, you feel like the protagonist in a love-struck tale, caught in the gaze of someone who sees more than just the surface.

toji fushiguro is a womanizer, a horrendous father, and an arrogantly cocky man. …but… you think you can manage.

and so you find your arms slinking around his waist, a huge, unwavering grin plastered on your face. "you're such a baby, y'know? if you liked me you could've just asked for my number." he grumbles under his breath, yet tugs you closer to his body warmth. rolling his eyes, he flicks your forehead, lips curving up into a smile. "you're the worst."

© KAEFFEINEE 2024. do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works on any platform.

[enhaflixer]

lhs - under the covers. TEASER

AN E2L UNDERCOVER COPS FAKE MARRIAGE AU | SMUT-HEAVY TEASER - NOW POSTED HERE

"If this is fake, then why are you begging?"

summary: you’ve never liked lee heeseung. he’s cold, unreadable, and way too good at his job—so of course, the captain decides to partner you with him for an undercover op that requires you to be married.

the rules are simple: go undercover. pretend to be in love. don’t actually fall for him.

except now he’s pinning you against a wall, calling you ‘sweetheart’ in that low, amused drawl, and touching you like he means it.

…so, yeah. this might be a problem.

genre: slow burn | enemies to lovers | undercover cops | fake marriage | SUGGESTIVE CONTENT word count: ~around 20K release date: TBA ⚠️ warnings 18+ MDNI: guns, violence, smut, tension, heeseung being annoyingly attractive while pretending not to care, reader being an absolute menace back, dangerous men doing dangerous thingshate sex but it turns into something desperate & messy, heeseung has a gun AND a filthy mouth (both are dangerous), "you need to stay quiet" but he makes it impossible, heeseung likes pushing you against walls (sometimes to protect you, sometimes not), explicit descriptions of tension: prolonged eye contact, teasing touches, and not-so-fake kisses that turn heated way too fast, sex as a distraction? sex as an argument? sex as a mistake? sex as an act? all of the above., one bed trope but make it fully unhinged (heeseung smirking when you wake up wrapped around him), heeseung is smug, teasing, and cocky in the streets but a menace in the sheets, "you said this was just for the mission. so why do you keep touching me when no one’s looking?", breathplay, lets keep it rough, ppl like it that way

-

This was supposed to be just another mission.

A simple cover-up. Blend in. Get close. Play the part.

Which is why you’re currently pinned against the wall of a dimly lit hotel room, Lee Heeseung’s hand wrapped tight around your throat.

His body is pressed against yours, his breath warm against your cheek, his voice lower than you’ve ever heard it.

"Stay still," he murmurs. Like he actually expects you to listen.

Your heartbeat is pounding, your breath coming out in short, sharp exhales. You hate him. You hate the way he’s looking at you, like he’s studying you, calculating, like he knows exactly what he’s doing to you.

But then his fingers curl��slow, deliberate—and your body betrays you.

You choke back a gasp, your fingers digging into his shirt, and Heeseung—the smug bastard—smirks.

"Thought so," he mutters.

You should stop this. This is just an act.

Except you don’t stop him.

Not when his grip tightens around your throat. Not when he rocks his hips forward, just to hear your breath hitch. Not when he murmurs, "You were running your mouth all night. Where’d all that attitude go, Doll?"

Your nails dig into his wrist. "Fuck you."

"You first."

And then he kisses you.

It’s not gentle. It’s not careful. It’s months of built-up tension, every sharp word and heated stare and unsaid thought spilling out all at once.

Heeseung kisses you like he wants to break you. Like he wants you to feel him everywhere.

Like he’s been waiting for this.

Your back hits the wall harder as his grip on your throat tightens, fingers flexing like he owns you. His knee presses between your thighs, forcing them wider.

"You’re supposed to be my wife." His voice is mocking, teasing. Mean.

Your breath is shaky. "And you’re supposed to be pretending."

His smirk fades.

"You think I’m pretending?"

Your stomach twists.

Because this isn’t pretend anymore.

The way his hands grip your waist, pushing up your dress. The way his breath hitches when your nails rake down his back. The way his mouth trails down your throat, hot and desperate.

Heeseung isn’t faking this.

And neither are you.

But neither of you stop.

Not when he hoists you up against the wall, one arm under your thighs. Not when his voice turns hoarse, needy, against your skin. Not when you whisper, "You hate me," and he exhales a low, broken,

"Not tonight."

TAGLIST: OPEN! reply to be added!

[luna-the-cretar]

So I’m watching an Uprooted funny moments compilation (bc I just can’t seem to get though episode 1 of Uprooted proper) and like. Andy fucking quoted himself, the bastard (/lh)

Once Upon a Witchlight, as Torbek: Torbek’s not a pervert, he’s just a bugbear

Uprooted, as Booker: I’m not a pervert, I’m just a raccoon

This motherfucker-

[ronearoundblindly]

No Promises (3)

Lloyd Hansen x rival assassin!Reader

I Left You Something On The Body (see previous or LH Masterlist)

Summary: You and Lloyd take to leaving consolation prizes for whichever one of you 'loses.' It...escalates delightfully.

Warnings for DARKFIC. Language; descriptions of sexual situations, toys, various paraphernalia. Smut-adjacent (masturbation). MINORS DNI. I have plenty else for you on my Light Masterlist, but this is not for you! WC 982

And you do; you let Lloyd have several open contracts after the keycard incident.

Sometimes you wonder about the man providing the most fun you’ve had in years, but mostly, you relax in a noisy city high-rise with a spectacular view. A small vacation between assassinations. You drop off the network for a month or so, picking up a straight-forward job nearby, and then show up at the target’s house to find him already dead.

Pinched onto the body, overtop a blood-soaked button-down, are golden nipple clamps.

You snort in disbelief.

The sick bastard, he’s really wooing you now.

A thin chain between the clamps sports a tied tag.

To: The Cobalt Cunt

You let out a dreamy sigh, the little tingle in your mind of possibly fucking (with) him again vibrating to life. You even miss him in a weird way.

On the reverse of the tag, it reads, “not safe for lace.”

It’s on obviously and more fun than you ever imagined. At some point, you can’t tell if you two are letting each other get places first on not. The money is, oddly, totally irrelevant, and your career takes on a renewed joy.

Lloyd claims a target. You show up, kill them, and drop off an intricately-packaged Gucci jock strap with “Eat Me” embroidered at the back of the waistband, right above his asshole.

For good measure—and to remind him what he’s missing—you add a spritz of your perfume to the cup.

That’s where you want to be nestled, it implies. That’s where you belong, right against his dick.

Sadly, the next ‘surprise’ takes a while as you two are not after the same jobs. There’s plenty of work to go around till you find an oblong box wrapped in brown paper on the armchair ten feet from an enormous bloodstain.

 With an empty scotch glass and a crumb-covered plate beside it, you know Lloyd’s been trolling for your attention. His snacky, sweet-tooth is somewhat notorious.

Your inconspicuous, purposefully plain gift waits patiently, the soft whipped cream of a strawberry shortcake dripping down its serving stand.

There’s no rush though, and you make a little ritual of opening it to reveal a beautiful dildo with golden speckles throughout the silicone molding. It is absolutely from a cast of Lloyd; you’d know that curve anywhere.

If that’s as close as you can get? Fine by you…

The rest of him barely participated before anyway.

Geneva.

Lloyd’s pissed and tired after the flight. Suzanne is the fucking worst and made him repeat the plan three times because her pea-brain is as sharp as a limp dick.

He dances down the plane steps, noticing a welcome party that is not his people. One sunglasses-clad, black-suited fellow walks up to Lloyd with an enormous gift basket.

It’s so goddamn pink Lloyd recoils and squints his eyes.

Good christ, it’s hideous. He loves it in a sick way.

Pink cellophane, fuzzy pink handcuffs, a sparkling fuchsia cock ring, rose gold anal beads with pesto-colored rope connecting them, and strawberry flavored lube.

Mood restored, Lloyd chuckles, turning on his heel to get back on the plane.

He’s going home. He has toys to play with.

He doesn’t bother to explain shit to Suzanne. One of these days, he’s just going to pop her for free.

This one doesn’t coincide with a job at all, but that’s what makes it all the sweeter to you.

Delivered to the place you’re staying for the week is an adorable, yellow stuffed rabbit with a pull-cord. Across its tummy is 'sunshine' in cursive letters.

You honest-to-god squeal in delight as you listen to each of the five custom recordings programed in.

Lloyd tuts then says “should have sized up my ring, you cock-drunk whore,” a deep gasp and a squelch punctuates the end.

Oh boy. It’s Christmas in July. Happy you!

You fake your own shocked gasp at the second soundbite.

“Know you don’t taste like fucking strawberries,“ he grunts before bitterly adding, “but I’ll take one for the team and eat that pussy any day.”

Third: “Bet I was the best you ever had, even when I wasn’t awake, you poor thing. So needy…”

Fourth: “How hard did you come, Sunshine? Be honest.” He laughs like the cat who got the cream to end that one.

Finally, the last of the pulls is just the slapping noise of him jerking off and finishing with a deep moan.

Now, at least, you know what Lloyd sounds like when he comes.

Utterly self-satisfied, Lloyd goes about his life of luxury.

He’ll be damned if he’s going to break and go to you. Fuck that. The thrill of this taco-and-hotdog game is worth it anyway.

He still works, and not every job revolves around you.

For one such fulfilled contract, he’s being paid in artwork and has the delivery men bring in the large framed canvas to uncover in his current villa’s sitting room.

The expectation is a well-known portrait.

It’s a painting alright, but it’s…very modern.

Lloyd crosses his arms over his chest and smothers a proud grin.

The torso and open legs of you stretch out facing the viewer, gold leaf embossed nipple clamps and their chains dangle over your stomach, and the blunt end of a golden dildo sits nestled in your cunt. There are brush strokes and paint visibly raised from the surface.

He wonders whether it was done from a photo or whether you sat there, bare, for some artist to reference for hours, maybe even days.

Lloyd had a spot in mind for his real payment, but this will do nicely. He’s quite pleased with the view. It shall go over the mantle in the bedroom, and he shall fuck whoever he wants—his fist included—while staring right at it.

The half dozen or so other people in the villa’s great room who can all see the painting don’t say a fucking word.

How the hell is he supposed to top this?

A/N: Full disclosure, I'm pretty sure this is the funniest thing I'll ever write, and I'm okay with that. I can't stop laughing 🤣🤣🤣

[Next Part: A Blazer Full of Bullet Holes]

[Main Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

blue art deco divider by @/saradika-graphics--thank you for your beautiful work!

[suiteheart-hotel]

✎ breastfeeding m! Kylar like he deserves ♡

. . . ˚✧.⊹ tags ⊹⁺. ೀ

2.5k words (wow im a horny bastard), informal writing, m! Kylar with cock, unprotected p in v sex, unrealistic sex, Kylar is a very submissive and pathetic (/affectionate) top, lactating pc from cow transformation, BIG GIANT TATAS and AFAB anatomy terms. u got coochie n it'll b called cunt and pussy but Kylar doesn't call u by either feminine terms or masculine terms so it's,,, gender-neutral reader-ish??

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WHY BOTHER HAVING A BREAST MILK MECHANIC IF U CANT GIVE IT TO ANY OF THE LOVE INTERESTS... SMH VREL GET ON IT /LH also dis is a shoutout to da fellow transmascs like me that don't mind hvin big tatas 2 feed kylar <33 my first full fic i tink!! enjoy!!!

♡ ┆ u 2 are on a date at the park as usual. when u casually suggest it, his brain just stops working. his mouth hangs open and u have to shake him to snap him out of it. 

"uhh, haha, sorry, darling... c-could you repeat that?"

with a smirk, you do. you lean in and suggest going somewhere private so he could enjoy your milk directly from the source. all the blood in his cheeks rush to his cock almost immediately. he is so down bad for u, he's fucking floored u even suggested it.

♡ ┆ he gets more cocky, confident, and possessive during sex, but at this point, he's only squeezed your chest so far, not sure how he could even begin to explain himself. he’s seen u lactate when u cum, he just didnt know if it was overstepping a boundary to just dive in. its early into the relationship so he doesnt know if youre comfortable with that part of your bovine biology. hes a perv but hes also a polite boy!!  well... most of the time ♡ he couldnt just walk up to u and say i want ur milk babe, you deserve better than that, he just didnt know how to ask... so ofc he's over the moon you're the one who brought it up

♡ ┆ absolutely solidifies in his mind that you're an angel sent from heaven to protect him and love him

♡ ┆ he's a stinky little anime nerd /pos. pre-relationship, after you saved him from bullies, he draws u and ur cute fluffy cow ears and massive anime-like tits in all sorts of erotic ways. does all the hentai tropes. fists his needy, leaky cock at night to the drawings he's made of u. when you start dating, it was like he was walking on cloud 9 when you wanted to recreate some of his erotic drawings (bc ofc u pushed to see his sketchbook when he mentioned it was full of only u lol)

♡ ┆ cant go to the manor, kylar isnt comfy w that yet. cant be in pc’s bedroom, kylar doesnt even want a single chance of someone who knows you and lives with you to see u giving him milk, it's his and only his in sight, sound,,, and ofc taste. hed get jealous if other orphans u live with saw yall doing it, bc if they see he thinks theyre never gonna forget the sight..... which could lead 2 all sorts of trouble since they live with u and he doesnt. he wants it to only be his even in memory. PATHETIC /POS so yalls only option is a cheap-ass love hotel. maybe someday youll fuck somewhere nicer but this’ll have to do… not to mention kylar is thrumming w/ excitement. he’s fucking trembling at the mere thought of getting to taste your sweet milk, directly from your heavy chest which was always tempting him… PATHETIC /POS (1)

♡ ┆ at first, kylar cant get his bearings. he sits next to u on the bed, hands politely on his lap while his cock strains against his pants. hes strangely silent until u snap him out of it with a kiss on the cheek. “ah… d-darling, you don’t know how much this means to me.” he says in a shaky voice. you chuckle and slowly begin to lift your shirt, making sure to give him a show. the way your heavy tits laden with the milk he craves always looked like they were spilling out, your bra barely being able to hold them back never failed to do a number on kylar’s psyche. 

♡ ┆ ”c’mon, you’ve already seen me lactate. get me wet first, babe, then it’ll come out.” you tease as you unclasp your bra effortlessly and toss it to the side, your tits swaying with every movement you make. kylar is hypnotized. just a lot of spacing out in general until you two really get into it.

♡ ┆ your back is laid on the bed, and Kylar moves to get your pants and panties off. the sight never fails to make him breathless. he figures the quickest way to taste your sweet milk is to eat you out, so he does, very diligently. he dives in and devours your pussy like a man starved, he does this every time. he just can’t believe someone as perfect as you would willingly give yourself to him, and he wants to show his gratitude properly, always…

♡ ┆ this mf latches onto your cunt with an intense need and desperation. not only is he making his beloved feel good, he’s working to get your milk flowing as well… it makes him especially ravenous. licking up and sucking on your sensitive folds, using his hands to part your lips and plunge his tongue into you deeper… when you pat his fluffy, unkempt hair and moan… “fuuuuck yes, that’s it, good boy…” he goes absolutely ballistic in his brain. it goes w/o saying that he has a praise kink, loves giving and receiving it. he’s especially emboldened when he feels his head sandwiched between the softness of your thighs, he’s going delirious with need at this point, eyes all half-lidded and bleary, focused on nothing but lapping up the fluids your cunt makes. he's fucking groaning against your folds, can't get enough of your sweet taste. his cock is straining to be free right now, but your pleasure takes precedence.

♡ ┆ eventually, he takes your clit into his mouth and sucks hard, tongue swirling around it as he’s making you scream. “K-Kylar!!” it fills him with a sick thrill, like he’s letting all the strangers in this damn sleazy love hotel know that he’s the one making his darling cry out with pleasure. he pulls back for a moment, a string of saliva connecting between your cunt and his lips to smirk confidently at you. “that’s it, darling, let it all out.” he says, as he’s licking a broad stripe up your pussy, “let them all hear how much you love what i’m doing to you.”

♡ ┆ the moment he sees your tits drip with milk, he unlatches his mouth from your cunt with a soft pop, halting the intense suctions for now. his eyes sparkle with curiosity and hunger, seeing you laid out on the bed with your cheeks flushed, mouth hung agape from moaning so much just does something to his fucked up brain. he wastes no time capturing a nipple into his mouth and giving a hard suck, groaning when your milk hits his tastebuds. it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted…

♡ ┆ he kneads at your tit, trying to coax more and more milk out of you as your cow ears flicker atop your head. needless to say, he’s getting off on your moans, the taste of your creaminess, and the softness of your chest… he loves it. all of this, it’s only for him and him alone. he laminates your nipple with spit using his tongue, moaning as he drinks up every last drop. keeping a hand on your pussy, he gently bites down, making you yelp, yet he also felt your cunt twitch at the action… that gives him an idea for later. he shows love to your other breast, licking up all of the milk that had been dripping off to the side as his fingers rub at your pussy, the slick sounds making his head spin. his breaths are heavy and erratic as it fans over your exposed skin, adding a layer of eroticism from his desperation being conveyed this way. 

♡ ┆ finally… the moment he’d been waiting for. he releases his mouth and cups both of your heavy breasts, pressing them close together and sucking on both your nipples at the same time. wow… just like in his hentai mangas. the sensation makes you feel embarrassed, but you can’t deny how good it feels, either… as his fingers dig into your plush, large chest, he suckles, licks, and bites, doing anything to get more milk into his mouth again. some of it drips in between your chest, and it gives him a devious idea…

♡ ┆ he retreats for now, taking a finger to swipe up a drop of milk on his chin and lick it, a crazed hunger in his green eyes. he pulls down his pants and boxers… out comes his cock, blushed at the tip and leaky with pre-cum. “darling… would you be willing to hold up your chest for me, please?” he asks in a sweet voice, and you comply without question. you already knew what he was planning without him having to outright say it.

♡ ┆ he holds the sides of your breasts securely and moves up on the bed, positioning himself under your chest. you feel something hard underneath your boobs… and without further ado, Kylar thrusts his cock in. he moans so loud, breathing sooo heavily as he pistons his hips… he’s just in pure disbelief. the milk that had dripped between your chest earlier aids him in creating a slick passage between your pillowy tits. it takes him all his willpower to not immediately cum… which he inevitably fails. his cock splatters all over your chest, and a little bit gets on your face. “ah…!! i-oh no, i’m so sorry… i couldn’t help it, it just felt too good…” he pouts with a voice whinier than usual. you reassure him that it’s more than okay with a sultry smile, and you collect his cum with your fingers, licking it all up.

♡ ┆ the sight of you doing that of your own volition without him even asking to… grrr he’s going feral! and he realized you hadn’t cum once! that just won’t do. so while waiting for his cock to stiffen up again, he pulls out and lowers himself back down and thrusts a finger into your dripping entrance. he gets off on the sound of your moans, and he reaches down to take a nipple into his mouth again, the dual sensation of kylar’s suction and his finger curling inside you driving you mad. he establishes a rhythm with both actions, and it’s not long before he adds another finger into you, the squelching noises from your naughty pussy tempting him making his cock twitch back to life very quickly. as your inner walls tighten around his fingers, he searches desperately for your sweet spot while feverishly lapping up any milk from your breasts. and finally… he finds that one gummy mass inside you and just absolutely goes to town on it, making you cry out loudly. he reluctantly detached himself from your tit, and as his fingers were pressing down on your sweet spot, he held his hand firmly over your pubic mound, pressing down and quickening the pace of his fingers going in and out of you. it’s not long before you scream his name and cum on his fingers, soaking his hand in your precious nectar… not to mention your chest flowing with milk as well.

♡ ┆ he’s now hard again… and you take a moment to catch your breath. he’s too impatient this time, however, he wants to thrust into you now. you feel his cock press against your overly sensitive entrance but you manage to gently push him down onto the bed to take control of the situation. “ah ah ah. not so fast.  just came, ya horndog.” you tease lightly, while kylar groans and pouts. you reach down and press a kiss to his lips, your tongues meeting each other once again as they get entangled. you taste a hint of your own milk. kylar can feel your breasts pressing up against him, the weight making him get more needy and feverish with his kissing. his breath hitches when you start grinding your cunt onto him, tip of his cock leaking with cum onto his tummy as your pussy presses down on it. your hips buck back and forth on top of him as you take control, allowing yourself to rest while keeping kylar sated.

♡ ┆ when you’re finally ready to have sex, you teasingly bounce your cunt on the tip of his cock, and you see tears in his eyes. “pc- my love, come, on, let me in, pleasepleaseplease- ah!!” 

his babbling is interrupted by you finally giving him what he wants. as your velvety walls sink down onto him, threatening to overwhelm his senses, you press your breasts onto his face. “you know what to do.” you say with a flirtatious smirk. kylar immediately gets the memo, he’s been dying to do this since you first saved him. he latches onto your nipples and tugs down at your breasts while you start bouncing your pussy on his cock, the dual sensations driving you both mad.

♡ ┆ you’re expertly riding him as he whimpers helplessly beneath you, humping into him so hard the headboard slams into the wall from your passion. his mouth is overflowing with your milk like he wanted… his brain is just melting, much to your delight. your cow tail swishes behind you playfully as he grabs your plush hips and thrusts up into your movements, the sounds of your moans and wet slapping reverberating in the room. 

♡ ┆ the warmth and softness of your cunt makes him wanna cum again. poor boy… he was never good at lasting long. “kylar, hold yourself back right now or else i’m pulling myself off.” you tease, but he takes that to heart and whines in disappointment. “i’ll be good… i’ll be good, pc, i promise, just please dont, ah… leave me!” you smile at him. “i’m not leaving you dummy, ever.”

neuron activation time……. his eyes widen in disbelief as affection floods his heart. he grips your hips more firmly, thrusting up into you at such an animalistic pace that the poorly constructed bed almost sounds like it'll break. the plush of your ass bounces back on his lap, and it makes him grit his teeth trying to hold back. he has a fire in his eyes, as if his life’s whole purpose now was to make you cum on his cock. he bites down on a nipple like earlier and feels your cunt clench around him. he alternates between bites and hard sucks as his hips thrust desperately upward while you struggle to keep riding him. “that’s a promise, okay? dont! ever! leave! me!” he punctuates each word with a thrust deep into your womb, hell-bent on breeding you. 

♡ ┆ it’s not long before stars crowd around your eyes as you two climax together with your own loud moans, his semen flooding the depths of your warmth while your own cum coats his cock and drips down to his balls. your milk drips down your breasts again, and even though kylar is weak, he still manages to find it in himself to lick it up. as you catch your breaths, you two giggle conspiratorially, pressing your foreheads together and exchanging words of pure love and affection for one another… right before going back in for another round. you two rented out this room for an extended period of time, after all.

♡ ┆ now kylar takes whatever opportunity he can to bite and suck on your precious chest, pulling you in school closets or dark alleyways just so he can have a taste of your milk.

♡ ┆ ofc it’s not long until you both rent out a room at the hotel again, you going along with one of his crazy hentai recreations. it ends up with him on your lap and you, jerking off his sensitive cock, rubbing his pre-cum all over his shaft as he has his fill of your milk.

[v01dblad3]

It is a rare day that my favorite character changes so quickly.

I just finished reading book 11, and all I can say is: holy fuck. Like. There's a lot to talk about. However, the biggest thing that's been at the forefront of my mind since reading it was what Shade did.

Now, I'm a little late to the game here, so I'm sure that people have already talked about this, but I just gotta get this out. Clive, up until this point, has been my supreme favorite. I could write an entire essay as to why, but I'm certain that I'd just be repeating most of what @evilphrog has already stated. There are a million and one reasons to love Clive, and he still remains as a VERY close second fav.

But Shade. Oh my god Shade. This lovely little shadow butler sanctioned himself, spending THOUSANDS OF YEARS of accrued authority, just to take the leap and connect with Jason. To help Jason. To guide him and support him.

There's something so fucking poetic about it. Something something sacrifices made for a person who's loyalty knows no bounds. Something something joining hands as the skies fall around you, metaphorically and/or literally. sticking together no matter the circumstances.

Jason, Shade, Colin and Gordan are all so fucking loyal to each other that it's causing my to tear up as I type this. They make me so unwell I just. I can't. I literally love them so much URGHHHHH SHIRTALOON YOU BASTARD /LH