#fucked up sibling dynamics for You Specifically

[atoriv-art]

What are your thoughts on Sasuke x Gaara

beautiful showstopping saved my life we love you sasugaa <333

ok to actually answer: i think they have a very compelling dynamic! i really really like their chunin exams era with gaara being weirdly obsessed with sasuke because they're both "damaged" to put it in some way!

i wish we got to see sasuke's opinion about it a little more, especially since it comes at a time where he's starting to come around to the idea of using his power to protect and not just kill itachi, but this "i relate to your pain and i need to make sure my pain (and to gaara, therefore my power) is still bigger and more powerful" dynamic is soooo fun to me as an introduction point between them! i find it a lot more compelling than what it got interrupted by 😅

i understand the value of having gaara see someone who is Literally just like him (ie also a jinchuriki), but imo having him deal with someone who he perceives as Emotionally just like him (ie traumatized, angry and lonely) was already excellent...

also!!!!!!!!!! i'm not a fan of how sasuke is characterized in the five kage summit in general (or rather how he's demonized by the framing of it all. i love a good public meltdown. his evil laugh lives in my brain) BUT i looooooooove the scene with gaara confronting him i was NOT expecting it when i was watching it the first time and it was like an angel smiled down upon me.

and and and (guy who gets to bring up the naruto games again) they do a fun reversal of their original dynamic there it in the ninja storm games, with sasuke being the one to flaunt his pain and power against gaara

LIKE SORRY I JUST THINK IT'S FUNNN!!!! they have a lot in common and deal with it similarly but when gaara's at his lowest sasuke's starting to get better, and that gets flipped later on: when gaara's figured himself out it's sasuke who's completely spiraling... hehehehe!

ok ill put the rest in a read-more. jesus

i get why the pairing isn't very popular (sasuke has like, two of the biggest pairings soaking up all of the fandom attention span alkdsmak) but i cannot standddd the weird consensus that they don't like each other 😭 gaara showed in that scene that he does still hold some amount of respect and empathy for sasuke, enough to offer him a helping hand when he was at his lowest, and sasuke himself was engaging in the conversation much as he disagreed with gaara... it's gaara who starts the fighting back up, not sasuke!

imo gaara's words to naruto later on that get twisted into a "girl dump him" speech (😒.) are obviously meant to serve as a warning to manage expectations, because he Knows his friend is still not going to give up on sasuke and might not even particularly want him to, but he's speaking from the kage angle as opposed to what he personally would want

gaara CRIED for sasuke and stopped the fighting specifically to talk to him for fuck's sake he doesn't HATE him, his siblings have to convince him to give up on trying to talk to him and there's a distinction made of what should be done as a kage. and while i have a thousand things to say about how i don't love how the manga handles its kage characters wrt framing them as Generally Good, i do think it's notable that it's this that makes him give it up

"personal feelings" meaning, his siblings can recognize that gaara doesn't fucking want to fight him and would really prefer to talk this out. I think about this a lot sorry KSMDKSMDK so much of the consensus is that gaara, specifically, can't stand sasuke and for WHAT.

and as a sidebar i think their insistence on calling e/o by their full names/titles ("Uchiha Sasuke" / "Gaara Of The Sand") is so fucking funny.

i know what you are. also:

sasuke engaging in battle banter. OPEN YOUR EYES

ANYWAY!

i actually think that of my "quirky" pairings (the sasugaaneji triad that is.) it's the one with the most canon basis and it's not even close. however it's also the one that i notice people engaging the least with ASKJDNSAKD which is obviously fine it's just a little funny to me

[courfeyracs-swordcane]

For the ask game: Kyrie, 1, 6, and 17 (I forgot the numbers highkey. The last one is whatever one the grudges question is. I think it’s 17)

1. How did you choose their name?

Oh WORM let me get you the screenshots— it was a Process (1, 2, and 3 are Kyrie, Alonzo, and Ari respectively)

(I did NOT actually know that the Kyrie part of kyrie elision meant god at the time but I AM a massive enjoyer of the “she’s the city and her name is god” bit)(the hunchback of notre dame reference is on purpose tho her ass literally lives there)(St Ely’s tower in the modern end of things is like if you combined the functions of the Notre Dame and the Space Needle into a guy who looks more like Coit Tower SF)

6. What attribute of them (some facet of their personality, their history, their look, or whatever etc) would you find most important to somehow preserve if they were transplanted to an AU fanfic?

USED TO BE A COP but QUIT really dramatically (there’s a modern au that takes place in like 2010 where half of the saints work at a Verizon store and Kyrie was a first responder at 9/11 but walked out a couple years later and now she lives on a couch in El’s basement)(being a fuck boy dirt bag piece of shit is also an important component. She sucks so much (affectionate))

17. Is your character holding any grudges? Are they likely to stop?

OH BOY HOWDY DOES SHE!! A lot of them against herself but also notably she does spend a significant amount of time trying to assassinate Ari’s dad (city governor/RF puppet) theoretically for being a puppet for the RF and letting the city be a police state but mostly actually for the fact that he was the one who promoted her from foot soldier #7284 to the RF’s special little mascot guy so she views him as a guy with a LOT more power than he actually has (also. Even if he did have the kind of sway she thinks he does. He’s a useless aging twink of a nepo baby who got this job when he was like 22 specifically bc he’s easy to push around. His ass wouldn’t really do shit even if he could.)

[cream-and-tea]

oh boy ohhhh man there nuclear-waste-facility levels of toxic family dynamics happening in my google docs rn

[altschmerzes]

getting real tired of people who are shitting on “found family” more generally as a narrative concept and specifically named familial dynamics in fan interpretation of characters in particular because it all seems to be getting painted with a really wide and really homogenous brush. “we need to take found family away from people because they think it all has to be In Nuclear Family Terms and do you know friendship exists and you don’t have to call these characters siblings to legitimize their relationship while making it clear you Don’t Ship Them Ew Gross and THEN you sneer at people who Do ship them” cool cool that is a lot of really intense characterization and assigning of motive to other people en bloc!

like sure there’s some meaningful critique to be found in a broad trend to label every single relationship directly and specifically with terms that have very specific contexts and roles but im waiting to be told when anyone IS by the standards of people making and reblogging these very sweepingly generalized posts allowed to call a relationship parental or whatever. is that Ever allowed. who is handing out the permits. sometimes a specific term for a relationship isn’t actually about wanting an excuse to sneer about your ship (and frankly there’s a lot of projection going on there imo from people who are actively sneering about other people’s interpretation of a relationship!) and it’s because there are very specific contexts and details about a dynamic that makes exploring it from the lens of siblings or whatever very rich and compelling and interesting because words mean things and assuming everyone is just being reductive and demanding conformity to a nuclear family is, ironically, really reductive.

so like. cool it. stop being really fucking mean about people having an interpretation of a dynamic you personally don’t like or makes you feel a little weird or uncomfy because you ship them.

[secretlythatsme]

anyway dc x dp is my new fixation hell and i've had so many ideas for aus but one that's really sticking with me is a classic "danny has to run away to gotham because his home is no longer safe" au where danny is explicitly looking for other ghosts or at the very least is pulled to gotham because there are so many of them there.

he flies around for a while and finds this manor and he can sense so many nice ghosts! so he just. goes there! and stays! and this can be human danny showing up at their door injured or it can be ghost danny just flying in but regardless, the waynes would never turn him away. bruce would get suspicious absolutely, but he's seen enough traumatized abused kids to know the signs. thomas and martha? they think this new ghost kid is adorable!!

there could be angst sure but idk i love the idea of danny getting hurt by his parents or the giw and being so wary of more humans, and this place full of friendly ghosts would be so enticing. ghosts that don't try to immediately wreck his shit? ghosts that get territorial but are also extremely welcoming and have a habit of letting new kids into their haunt? the batfam who've dealt with the paranormal before and wouldn't give a shit? that's a normal tuesday for them babes. like please, danny just found heaven and it's in gotham.

despite all the "batfam adopts danny" aus i've seen, i rarely see people mention the ghosts of dead family members who would absolutely still be there and would definitely want to help danny :(

[cherrymoonvol6]

.

[3njoythesil3nce]

Plot holes/crappy writing in TUA 4

• Five, the guy who spent 45 years in an apocalypse and went back specifically to save his siblings from the same fate, ended up betraying Diego with such lightness and unjustified hatred and almost left the whole family because he got rejected by Lila?

• Five and Lila together just because Five needed a love interest when up until a season ago they had a sibling dynamic and Lila was madly in love with Diego

• In the end they decide to sacrifice themselves to destroy the Marigold but then they all reincarnate as Marigold flowers? and there is literally half a bottle of Marigold left intact in Diego's van?

•why in the hell was Lila shooting laser from her eyes? where did that power come from?

• Luther regains his powers and gets his monkey body back even though it has NOTHING to do with his powers since he morphed into that after Reggie saved his life by injecting him with a serum in season one

• in the end, all the past villains are shown together in the correct timeline when they all should be from completely different times

• Five feels like a COMPLETELY different person, the decharacterization was unreal.

• Klaus' new powers are shown for a second and then for the rest of the season he's basically reduced to a prostitute, ruining all the anticipation of seeing his true strength that has been building up since season 2 and nullifying all of his self improvement

• why was Jennifer in a fucking squid?

• in the end how are the children alive if their parents never existed?

• Ben and Jennifer were completely USELESS. and they were supposed to be key characters of the season

• Abigail's storyline made NO sense at all, she was supposed to be one of the most important characters in the show since the foreshadowing of her presence starts in season 1 and then she is reduced to two scenes in which she basically goes "fuck you Reggie for destroying the world, now I'll destroy it too as punishment" ???

• when Five meets the other Fives in the diner he doesn't show any symptoms of Paradox Psychosis

• Ray and Sloane are cut out of the show with two lines without explaining anything

• Diego dies without saying goodbye to his children

• Jean and Gene barely have a role in the whole season

• Allison sacrificed everything and everyone for Claire and their relationship is reduced to 3 scenes?

[ironinkpen]

The dynamic in Rise between the rest of the team and Leo is. so fucking funny. Because like you've got these three extremely talented individuals who all seem like perfectly reasonable people at first glance, right, but then if you squint hard enough you realize they're actually all batshit insane (affectionate) and the clown boy standing behind them is secretly their common sense.

Clown boy will occasionally put himself and the others in danger to Prove Himself or Prove Someone Wrong (see Minotaur Maze and the movie) but like otherwise... i think people forget Leo's overwhelmingly the voice of reason in most situations?

Raph, Mikey, and Donnie are all incredibly powerful boys with very specific skill sets. They are also, as a direct result of this, the WORST decision-makers on god's green earth lmao. When presented with a problem, Raph will smash, Donnie will blow shit up, and Mikey will razzmatazz. They will all run straight toward death with the same oblivious enthusiasm of a dog about to run straight into a screen door. None of them realize this and all of them think they are Extremely Good At Problem-Solving.

And the guy cursed with the common sense to realize this is literally the LAST person anyone would expect.

When you look closely, the entirety of Rise is actually a chronicle of Leo trying to find new and creative ways to keep this team of superpowered fools alive while simultaneously white-knuckling his Cool Fun Guy persona so the others don't realize he's secretly the Boring Responsible One. Haha, you know what would be Cool and Fun, guys? Not going after the Spine Breaking Bandit lol. Getting home before the sun goes up lol. Evacuating that civilian lol. Not telling the guy dangling me off a roof "you won't, no balls" lol.

The sacred struggle of every iteration of Leonardo is thanklessly wrangling the most trigger-happy siblings in the world, and Rise Leo has not escaped it. He just does an occasional shenanigan to avoid detection and his brothers fall for it every time.

[fernsproutxx]

that unique place (p.10)

[previous] [next] — [first]

Yeah… remember when i said that Mike blacklisted specific stuff from entering Gregory’s knowledge¿ Well, family dynamics was supposed to be one of those. Emphasis on the supposed, because he clearly forgot ayy lmao. He is so dramatic fr, then again, Mike’s very prone to avoiding all contact or relationships he could ever have… that’s the only way he’s been raised after all. Not having social interactions for literal decades really fucks you up in how to behave with others, and right now he’s making the small child feel bad smh. So much for having previously been an older brother who took care of their siblings when father wasn’t around most of the time pft.

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[netegf]

So We Won't Forget

pairing: f!reader x rafe cameron

plot: you meet rafe cameron at a grief support group while he struggles with the loss of his father. he's trying to be a better man, and you can't help but love him for it.

warnings: 18+, sensitive topics such as death and mourning, use of Y/N, fluff and flirting, challenging sibling dynamics, smut (P in V, size kink, lots of praise, some teasing), mentions of past drug use, rafe is reforming (?) lol

word count: 7.7 k

Rafe didn’t know what he was thinking.

He knew Barry had given him the bright pink flier as a joke more than anything else. And he’d taken it as a joke, at least after the initial roll of his eyes, too. Ended up crumpling the sheet of paper and chucking it into the garbage can near his bedside, muttering some iteration of ‘yeah man, that’s real funny’.

His dad was dead. For real, this time. He didn’t need some corny grief support group where people sat in a circle and sang their sorrows.

He needed a fucking time machine.

Still, he had done it.

Sleep was getting harder and harder to find these nights. The temperature never felt right.

Too hot when he pulled white sheets up and over his bare hips and too cold when he let them slip down to his feet.

He rolled his body over to his side with the intention of scrolling through his phone which had become increasingly dry since his return from Guadeloupe.

But then his hand was reaching down into the garbage can and he was squinting in the dark to make out an address he’d never seen before.

It was no wonder why. The Church was so far in the outskirts of Figure 8, it might as well have been on the Cut. But it wasn't, and that was one of the only reasons why he'd reconciled with making the drive.

It was a shoddy building with peeling paint and a slanted roof, and it took him a whole twenty minutes to step outside of his truck and through the front doors.

The place gave him the chills. He felt better thinking it was because it was so run-down and he was a Kook through and through, but a part of him knew it was for a different reason entirely. He wasn’t completely sure he wouldn’t burst into flames upon entry. It wasn't long ago that he’d melted a fucking cross for Christ’s sake.

Like the man standing at the entry-way can read his mind, he claps a hand on Rafe’s shoulder and flashes him a reassuring smile. He must've been staring guardedly at the blocked off pew.  

“We just use the space on this side of the building.” The man says, gesturing to the large room with groups of scattered chairs and a long table at the back with pastries and refreshments. “There’s no, uh,” he clears his throat, then continues with a knowing glance, “religious affiliation.”

Rafe manages a nod, his fingers feeling numb and jittery all at once. His eyes rake over the room once more. More specifically, the people in it.

Some of them look like they’re itching to talk, while others look so boxed up it makes the silence in the room more chilling. Rafe decides he connects more with the latter, but there’s a spot he can’t quite reach at the swell of his shoulder blade that suddenly feels like it could use a good scratch.

“I’m Leon, by the way. The program manager.” The man, Leon, introduces himself. “Help yourself to some snacks, then grab a seat. We’ll start shortly.”

Leon shoots Rafe another smile, then saunters over to the front of the room where he sits down by a dingy whiteboard. 

Briefly, he wrestles the impulse to sprint out through the double-doors and scrub the very essence of the place off his body in a scalding shower. Sterile and dizzying, just how he likes them. 

But then his feet are trudging clumsily toward the snack table, and he downs a hot cup of coffee that splashes uncomfortably against the acid in his stomach before filling an empty chair at the back. 

"Let's see. As you take your seats and feel out the room, some of you might be asking yourselves why you even bothered to show up. Why don't we take a moment to remind ourselves why?"

To you, the introduction by the man you now know as Leon leaves something to be desired. A reminder wouldn't be necessary because forgetting wasn't the problem. 

The problem was your best friend was gone, and nothing in the world could get your mind off it. It was a strange kind of irony, really, talking about her so you could end up talking about her less. 

What better place and time was there to mourn than the beautiful Outer Banks in the summer?

At least, that's what your mother had said in a chipper tone as you rode the ferry off the mainland together.

Taking in the ambience of your surroundings, you seriously doubt she's right. The AC is blasting and you still feel sweat beading on your forehead. The place had the humidity of a greenhouse and none of the natural light. 

"We'll start our conversation small. With a partner." Leon says, breaking you out of your trance. "I'll walk around the room and pair you up."

The friendly man that Leon is, it takes him a while to get to the back of the room where he pauses in front of you.

"Alright, so that leaves... you two!"

Leon points vaguely to a figure sitting at the far corner, who lifts his head for a second to meet your eyes. A flash of blue before he looks back down again. You notice that he's not moving a muscle and probably doesn't intend to. 

"Guess I'll come to you." You mutter shortly under your breath, dragging your chair behind you as you move closer. 

Taking a seat in front of the quiet stranger, the first thing you notice is that the top of his head is pretty. Then he lifts his chin and you come to realize that the rest of him is even prettier. 

Dirty blonde hair that seems to be growing out after a cut sticks to his forehead, slightly damp with sweat. Angular jaw, beautiful blue eyes, soft pink lips pressed into a frown. He gazes at you suspiciously. 

"Rafe." 

Your eyebrows furrow, temporarily stalling your ogling. "What?"

"My name." He squints at you, pointing a slender finger to the whiteboard on which Leon has messily scrawled the words: 'introduce yourselves and explain why you're here'. 

"Rafe." You repeat, trying the name out in your mouth. It feels harsh but satisfying. Like a swear word. "I'm Y/N." 

He nods, but doesn't say anything else, his eyes flickering between the floor and a black truck you can make out through the window - like he's worried it might disappear. 

You steal a glance at the pairs around you who seem to be getting far deeper into conversation than the two of you. 

"I think we're supposed to talk." You mumble.

Rafe nods again, and his lips part for a moment, but then they close again. You fight the urge to glare at Leon for dooming your progress before it could even begin.

"I can go first." You offer with a shaky breath. "I'm here because my best friend, Stacy... died. It was, um, a car crash." 

Hating the way the silence intensifies between you, you continue. 

"I don't really know what to say. Just that she was kind of my favourite person. And she, uh... always made me feel like I was the only one in the room, you know? She just wanted to make you laugh and it was like nothing else mattered. Just us, living in our own little world."

Rafe feels a certain tightness in his chest, pressing down on his sternum.

"You're lucky." He scoffs.

It makes your face fall.

He'd tried to make it sound like a good thing, but it came out ugly, like it always seemed to. 

"I'm... lucky that my friend died in a violent car crash? Gee, Rafe. Your empathy has no bounds.” 

The turn of your voice makes Rafe's spine stiffen, his brows stiffly pinched together as he attempts to soothe over his words.

"No, I didn't mean it like that, okay?" 

You narrow your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

Suddenly, the lips that you once thought were pretty look more like what they really are. Annoying, when they move. His crisp blue polo and stupidly expensive watch are starting to get on your nerves.

"I just meant that you - look, at least you had her. That's more than a lot of people can say."

That was rich coming from a guy that looked like he had everything in the world at his disposal.

"Who'd you lose? Your gardener?" You quip. 

Rafe stares bitterly then looks down at his lap where his fingers are fidgeting.  

"My dad."

You feel your stomach churn with guilt, face getting hot.

It's the way he says it that pains you. Like it hurts him physically to get the words out. You know that feeling like the back of your hand. You wish you didn't, but you do.

Suddenly, Rafe's rigidity feels less abrasive and more heartbreaking. You wonder how long it's been, hesitant to ask because it might make you feel worse. Maybe you deserved it for leading with pettiness instead of compassion. You remind yourself that you're grieving and messy, too. 

"Oh." You choke out when an apology feels tight on your tongue.

He lifts his head up to meet your eyes, chewing on his bottom lip. "Yeah. Oh."

"I shouldn't have said that, Rafe. I'm sorry." 

"No, I get it. I shouldn't have said that either. That way, at least. I'm trying to be better at... not saying the wrong thing." He breathes, shoulders falling. "I fuck it up constantly."

"You're not, you didn't." You shake your head. "I'm just on edge. Plus, I get really cranky when I'm hot, and it's boiling in here. Promise." 

You feel a sense of relief when he cracks a smile at that, wanting to savour it. 

"And...," you trail off, catching his attention. 

"And?"

Your gaze runs over him, from the top of his handsome face, down to his shiny designer boots. 

"You're textbook Kook. I guess my whole 'eat the rich' thing got the best of me." 

Rafe laughs softly, feeling a rush in his chest. For a second, he's not thinking about a certain series of events that looms over him everywhere he goes like some sort of 'never off the clock' paralysis demon. Nor any of the bad decisions he made that led him up to that point and drove him deeper into the ground after the fact. He remembers back when he was just a regular asshole. An arrogant rich kid with poor impulse control and penchant for adrenaline. 

He's debated if he would choose to go back thousands of times. 

Part of him wants to.

He had a lot less to worry about. More parties to throw, more girls to take up to his bedroom after very little flirting on his part, more blow to keep him heady and distracted.

Help keep his mind off of the arguments with his dad.

His dad, who blew a hole in his life, and now, was gone... forever. It's something he'd imagined more times than he could count, but he would have never guessed this feeling. 

Nothing felt good anymore. Like he didn't deserve any release because his dad wasn't here to give him shit, so he'd endured nothing to warrant it. He'd started feeling guilty, more than usual, and in a more physical sense. He could feel it when he woke up. Maybe it was the guilt that woke him up every day, gasping for air and clutching his chest. It was starting to sink in and sometimes he spent the whole of the night crying. It was like his soul was being reformed. He drove to a Church, instead of calling Barry, to feel something again. 

He secretly hoped for a big, ambiguous power that would slap him awake and help him trek forward like a strong wind behind his back. But believing took a certain lack of resistance and if his father's eyes were anything to go by, Rafe was stubborn like a grease stain.

Then there was the risk of believing and still watching everything spin into chaos around you. Feeling stupid that you hoped for something different.

But things are different now. 

He's still an asshole, sure. But he's trying to work on that. 

"You're not wrong." He admits, grinning slightly. "You been to the island before?"

"Couple times. I know how you guys talk." You shrug, amused at how the jargon piqued his interest. "It's been a pretty long time, though. Don't think we've ever met."

He nods, like that makes sense to him. You shiver when his blue eyes run you up and down. 

"I would've remembered you."

Before you can respond, Leon makes his way over to the two of you, smiling to himself, mostly, because the conversation he'd manufactured appeared to be a success.

"You two look chatty." He says brightly, eyes flickering over Rafe's posture, far more laid-back than when he first walked in. 

"Just doing what you asked." Rafe replies shortly.  

"Yeah, 'course. Just that you two seemed quiet, but turns out, you're chatty. It's nice, that's all. Keep up the good work, folks!" Leon says the last part loud enough for the room to hear, enthusiastically clapping his hands together while he does it. 

"Dude's weird." 

You chuckle at Rafe's comment, watching as Leon eagerly prods at another pair. You turn back to him and shrug. 

"Definitely weird. Kinda sweet, though?"

The rest of the session continues with Leon speaking to the group, promising that next time, sharing would take place in a larger circle for deeper community. You don't miss the way Rafe's knee bounces up and down next to you. At one point, you gently put one of your palms on his knee to keep it still. You feel his stare burning a hole in the side of your face, but you don't look at him. Just a hint of a smile on your lips. 

It makes Rafe nervous. He feels something different, and he likes it, but it makes him nervous. 

"Hey... you gonna come next week?" You ask him as you sling your bag over your shoulder, trying to make sure your voice doesn't sound so hopeful. 

He pauses for a second. 

"Uh, maybe. Maybe, I'm going to have to check on a few things first." By a few things, he meant Barry. Though they'd unloaded most of the cross gold, they still worked together sometimes. Mostly because they wanted to.

He was an unlikely friend. Gruff and hard to control, but in his corner.

If Rafe was going to show up again, he didn't want Barry finding out. He'd never hear the end of it - 'you're getting soft on me, Country Club!'.

"Okay." You chirp, turning to leave and taking all of three steps before stopping again with your bottom lip wedged under your teeth.

Fuck it. 

"Hey Rafe?" You spin back, sounding hopeful and a little desperate, but honest, at least, because you are those things. 

"Yeah?" He breathes, eyes falling all around you. 

"I really hope you come."

Quickly, you turn back around and make your way to the door, hand barely gripping the knob when you finally hear his voice.

"Y/N."

You look over your shoulder to meet tender blue eyes. 

"I'll be there."

Turns out, sharing circles are harder than they look. For Rafe, at least. 

You spoke about Stacy so easily. You spoke well of her so easily.

When Rafe heard your shaky exhales next to him, he clamped his warm, calloused hand over yours on instinct, listening thoughtfully to the way you described her favourite hobbies. The ones you loved along with her, and the ones you loved to make fun of her for. It was a good reminder for him, that the fruits of his instincts could be tender. An animal with at least some softness. He wasn't always so sure.

He spent a fair amount of time comforting Sarah and Wheezie when they cried as kids, but he was also usually the reason they started crying in the first place. 

After that first meeting, you awkwardly made your way out of the Church and Rafe followed behind you shortly after. When he watched you undo your bike lock, he puffed his red cheeks out and approached you with a slight shake in his knees. He wasn't nervous, it was just hot out - is what he tried to convince himself. 

He offered you a ride back to the house you were staying at with your mom in exchange for your number. You strapped yourself in his passenger seat with a smile on your lips and a special kind of spark flared up in your chest, the kind that makes you acutely aware of the sweat coating the back of your neck, sticking the hair to the skin, when your eyes met his in the rearview mirror. 

Rafe didn't look like the kind of guy that seemed well-intentioned when he asked for a girl's number. But he surprised you when he texted you once he got home. Then again all through the evening. And, in the days that followed. 

Between the texts and the phone calls, you covered a lot of ground. Now, Rafe knew about the time you peed yourself at an elementary school book fair, and you knew that he slept with his first dog's collar months after she died. You gushed about your favourite kinds of junk food while he raved about the hand-spun milkshakes at the club. 

Rafe's turn to speak in the circle was a mess, to say the least. He could hardly spit a few words about Ward, too busy navigating pregnant pauses and his newfound habit of stuttering. He thinks he might've called Ward 'nice', then very quickly grimaced after. When he heard his own voice through the rush in his ears, he thought it sounded nothing like him. He could barely even feel your gentle hand rubbing at his back when his words broke and cracked, leaving his throat with a nasty burn. 

Though Rafe knew his relationship with his dad was strained, he loved him.

It wasn't a comforting feeling, but it was the truth, and all he had. They both could have done better, he reminds himself. God knew that was true.

But at one point, he'd just been a kid. He needed help. He needed his father who always seemed to find business elsewhere. It made sense that talking about Ward was hard.

It made mourning him harder.

A perpetual flurry of emotions that kept his mind up at night and his hands restless. Anger and sadness always dominating the rest, but fighting their own fight with each other.

Anger when he thought about the ways his dad favoured Sarah.

Sadness when he remembered those rare early mornings Ward woke Rafe up for a surprise boat trip, just the two of them.

Back then, Rafe used to stay up entire nights in excitement at the prospect of spending some time alone with his father. Eventually, he had to force himself to accept that their last trip together had long passed, and right under his nose.

"Was it bad?" He groans, eyes screwed shut as he rubs a hand over his taut jaw, working lazily on a piece of gum.

He's still sitting when the room clears out. You stand to haul your bag over your shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile that he absorbs fully. Bright blue eyes drinking you in. 

"No, Rafe. It was fine. Everyone's too busy focusing on their own shit. You got through it just fine."

He gives you an unconvinced look, quirking a brow. Then he tugs at your bag, holding it instead. 

"You're lying." He frowns. With a hint of amusement in his voice, "God, and you're a bad liar, too."

Biting your lip, you take Rafe's hand in yours and drag him towards the exit, giggling quietly to yourself. He trails behind you, slowly shaking his head. He grins when you skip past the metal rack at the front of the building and pull him into the parking lot. You didn't bring your bike today. 

"C'mon, big guy. Let's get you a milkshake." You tease. "I know a place."

He rolls his eyes and laughs, letting you lead him in the opposite direction of his truck.

"You're going the wrong way, dumbass."

"I don't know, Rafe. It tastes kinda funny."

"That's because you mixed chocolate, vanilla, and peach. Who the fuck does that?"

Rafe sips on his chocolate milkshake as he sits across from you in the booth, an amused smirk tugging at his pink lips. The Island Club is somehow nicer inside than it is outside. The cherry-wood of the tables shines under the mood lighting and even near capacity, there's enough room for decent conversation. 

You pout, stirring your paper straw around in the metal cup. You perk up with an idea. 

"Let me try yours."

Rafe starts to laugh, eyes widening in protest. You're sweet, he thinks. He'd probably give you anything if you asked.

But that didn't mean he'd do it. He liked to think he was a little more challenging than that. 

"No, you made your bed." He shakes his head, gulping down another sip. It makes his Adam's apple bob. You stare mostly unashamed and lick your lips without thinking. "Now lie in it."

He watches your eyes get big for all of three seconds before realizing he'd lie right beside you.  

"Fuck, fine." He relents, taking his lip under his teeth, pang in his chest. "Don't look at me like that."

With two fingers, he pushes his cup in your direction and you hum happily as you sip from it. A sort of warm feeling in your stomach as you realize Rafe's mouth was on the same straw you're sucking on just moments before. 

"Do you know that guy? He's staring at you really hard." You mumble through the milkshake, but Rafe's eyes are fixated on your saliva-coated lips. 

"Huh?"

You turn your gaze to a guy at the bar. He's been staring at the back of Rafe's head for the better part of five minutes, squinting his eyes every so often as if to confirm it's really Rafe he's looking at. As he starts to come closer, you begin to understand why - his button-up shirt is half undone, his tawny brown hair disheveled, a far-away look in his blue eyes - he's drunk off his ass. 

Rafe turns to look. 

"Shit. Yeah, he's my sister's... long story." He sighs, forcing a smile as the guy approaches your table. "Hey, Top. What's going on, man?"

"Rafe!" The guy, Top, slurs excitedly. "I never see you around anymore, man. Where you been?" 

Then his eyes run over you and he chuckles. "Maybe I should be asking who you been with." 

It was true, Rafe had been sort of MIA since Sarah had returned with the news about his dad.

Well, except for that one incident. He hoped Topper was too drunk to remember that. In any case, he hadn't felt that guilty about their fading friendship - Topper had been MIA, too, ever since he went 'Rafe-crazy' and lit up the Chateau. He supposes that was his fault, too. 

Maybe he was avoiding him on purpose.

Topper reminded him of all the skeletons in his closet. It was hard enough living with the shame without a walking, talking reminder of his past. A lot of bravado and hair gel, is what it was. He regretted nearly everything now but sometimes he worried that if he spent enough time in the same places he used to, with the same people he used to, he'd somehow switch back. 

Rafe stiffens a little, but he gazes at you warmly. "This is Y/N. We met at, uh... she's..." 

"New." You finish for him. "Rafe's been showing me around."

At that, Rafe gives you a look. It made it sound like...

"Ah, that famous Cameron hospitality." The guy snorts. "I'm Topper."

The words 'Nice to meet you, Topper' die on your lips when he rams a hand aggressively on Rafe's shoulder and starts to laugh to himself, as if recalling memories. "Me and this guy? We go way back, Y/N. Best of friends, really."

You nod half-heartedly, shifting awkwardly in your seat. The leather of the chair underneath your bare thighs is starting to stick to the skin uncomfortably. 

"Alright, man, well it was good seeing you-," Rafe attempts to wave him off, but Topper doesn't let up.

"Look, dude." He whispers, lowering his head to Rafe's ear. He's not being as quiet as he thinks he is, and the next part of what he says makes you shudder. "I heard about your dad."

Rafe feels a wave of defeat wash over him. So, Topper wasn't too drunk to remember. 

It was one of the first nights after he'd heard about his dad. He'd spent as long as he could in the Island Club, ordering drink after drink, until he stumbled outside and spent a good chunk of the night puking his guts out. Unfortunately, that wasn't before letting his tongue fall a little too loose, and explaining to Topper how his dad hadn't really died on My Druthers because he was in Guadeloupe swimming in gold. But now, now he was really dead. And he wasn't coming back. And he'd barely said goodbye. 

"I'm really sorry, man. I know things have been really fucking weird, to say the least. But I'm sorry you're going through that. Again." Topper spills, feeling completely uninhibited. "Well, I guess it's only real this time around. But... you wouldn't have known that at the time." 

Topper winces at himself. He rubs a hand down his red face and stumbles away from the table. "Shit. Sorry. I'm just gonna-,"

"See ya, Top." Rafe cuts him off dryly. 

You look at Rafe cautiously as Topper makes his way, albeit clumsily, back to the bar. He lets out a deep breath and then slowly starts to shake his head, lifting his chin to meet your eyes with a look that seems to say - 'are you seeing this shit?'. 

"That guy used to be your best friend?" You ask with a hint of a smile, trying to diffuse the tension. You spare a glance at Topper who's slurring through his order of another drink. 

Rafe shrugs, letting out a wispy laugh. "We had our moments."

Moments he wasn't particularly eager to tell you about, but moments, nonetheless. 

"Do you wanna talk about it?"  

"What, Topper? Fuck no." He laughs harder. 

"No, not Topper. The meeting." You say sincerely. "Why you feel like you can't talk about your dad."

You feel your heart race a little at the question, wondering if Rafe is going to use it to be vulnerable. His face falls for a moment, but then it recovers. For a second, he considered it. But there's something bigger that's been weighing on his mind. 

"I was kinda hoping we could do something else." He says softly and moves in closer, cupping your cheek.

"Yeah?" You whisper, meeting his intense gaze. Hot breath fanning over his face. "And what's that?"

He tenderly moves a strand of hair out of your eyes, trying so hard to be soft that his hand is shaking. His blue eyes have specks of something else at this distance. It's the best colour you've ever seen. 

"I really need to kiss you."

He nods while he says it, like he's giving himself an affirmation. Then he's closing the space between you and pressing his lips over yours with a controlled kind of pressure you're really tempted to see snap one day. The way your mouth opens for his tongue nearly immediately almost makes it happen right now. And that'd really be a shame, he thinks, because he wants to ruin you when he has time and space to play with. 

"Stay with me tonight?" He mumbles breathily as you pull apart, and you nod as his thumb cradles your cheek.

You think you can maybe make out Topper whistling, but it's hard with all the blood rushing to your ears.

Rafe kisses like affection has been missing from his life for a long time. 

His hands are almost frustratingly gentle as they caress your jaw, but his lips, which haven't detached from yours since you entered his bedroom, more than make up for it.

They're hungry and wet with spit, entirely unsatisfied until your panting underneath him and have to bury your face in his neck to take deep, deep breaths of oxygen and his fading cologne.

He bites at your mouth and neck in the meantime, then soothes over the tender spots with his tongue while you whine and claw at the silky material on his still-clothed back.  

"This. Off." You murmur throatily, parting from his lips to tug up on the hem of his shirt. You stare unabashedly at the defined v-line that peaks out from underneath, tongue darting out to wet your lips in anticipation.

Rafe laughs, but humours you, throwing the garment off over the side of the bed so that it hits the floor somewhere. 

Still hovering over you, he leans down to press several kisses to your lips, and you take the opportunity to run the flat of your hand down his warm and muscular chest, the other hand curling around the sweaty strands of his dirty blonde hair. 

Rafe actually moans out when you tug on his hair, and the pretty sound brings a rush of heat to your core.

You squeeze your thighs together and plant open-mouthed kisses along Rafe's jaw, when his phone starts to vibrate on his bedside table. 

You turn your head to glance at the bright screen and Rafe scrunches his eyebrows together, fingers pinching at your chin to turn your focus back on him.

"I don't give a fuck who it is." He laughs breathily. "I'm not picking up. I'll break the stupid thing if I have to." 

You playfully roll your eyes before Rafe's lips attach to yours again, and you hum happily against his lips as he works them raw. Then his phone starts buzzing again.

"You wanna reconsider?" You giggle. Rafe slumps his face into your chest and groans loudly, arm extending to the table to pick up the device. He lifts his head up and glances at the notification, face twisting in what looks like shock.

"It's my sister." He says, confusion evident in his tone. "My sister never calls me."

He moves to stand up and passes you an apologetic glance.

"Sorry, I gotta take this." He mumbles in a stray kiss to the crown of your head. "Gimme a sec." 

A few seconds turns into something much longer. 

It turned out that Rafe's sister, Sarah, was calling him because of some kind of commotion that was happening at a bonfire she and her friends were at.

Apparently, the person causing the commotion was someone Rafe knew.

Based on Rafe's initial surprise and the way he's been chewing through his bottom lip the whole way to the beach, you assumed Sarah calling was a last resort for her. You got the sense she and her brother didn't talk often.

"I'm gonna handle this, alright? I need you to stay right here." Rafe says sternly, nervously running a hand through his hair.

You sit in the passenger seat of his truck, which has quickly become one of your new favourite spots, with a frown on your pretty lips that makes Rafe's chest hurt. He reaches up to cup your cheek. 

He'd tried to convince you to stay in his room while he dealt with the situation, but you were adamant about coming with. You needed to make sure he was safe. It didn't feel like there were many people that had his best interests at heart. 

"If you think I'm going to let you go out there by yourself, you really don't know me, Rafe." 

His lips twitch at that, his thumb caressing the skin under your eye.

"You're infuriating, you know that?" He murmurs softly. "Fine. C'mon."

The beach is pretty at this hour, too. The sky is dark, but not completely so - an expansive dark blue that blankets the moon. In the distance, you can see the reddish-golden flames of a bonfire that illuminate a group of people. 

"You had the cross!" An exasperated voice yells. "How was that not enough for you?!"

"Yeah, I'm afraid that's old news." Another man with long dark hair retorts humourlessly. "I'mma need my fucking money. The money your punk asses stole from me, or did you forget that shit?!"

Getting closer, you can see that this group is separated from the much larger crowd behind them. Four guys, and two girls. One of the girls has shiny blond hair that glows under the light of the bonfire flames. Sarah, you guess. 

Three of the guys stand beside the girls. The other one stands opposite the rest of them, hands smoothing over something his pocket.

A soft gasp leaves your lips when you realize it's a gun.

Rafe stops suddenly. He turns to gaze at you with an intense look in his eyes, pupils hard as one of his hands grips your shoulder. The other reaches for your face, thumb brushing over your lip tenderly. 

"Don't move." He whispers. "Promise me." 

You feel your stomach churn at the request, wanting nothing more than to tug him by the hand all the way back to his truck. But you nod, hoping it helps alleviate the tension in his forehead. 

"Barry!" Rafe calls out as he turns around and approaches them. 

The man with the gun tucked in his jeans, Barry, looks over his shoulder and huffs. Rafe roughly pushes him away from the rest of the group and they divulge into a heated conversation. Rafe's jaw ticks as he listens to Barry and receives a firm shove to the chest. But he manages to placate the other man by whispering something into his ear. Barry ends up nodding, and he casts one more angry glance at the rest of the group then begins to retreat. 

"Y'all have a good night, now." He chuckles grudgingly before leaving. 

Rafe makes his way back to the rest of them, nodding at his sister. You slowly come up behind him. 

"Thanks." Sarah seems to hesitate to say. Her arms are crossed over her chest, and there are frustrated tears in her eyes.

The relationship between Rafe and Sarah has been strained for a long time. They seemed to fundamentally disagree with each other.

It wasn't always that way. Or at least, Rafe thinks, it wasn't always that way. One day, his sister upped and left it all - the big house, the fancy clothes, the nice cars - for 'Pogue life'. It still made his nose crinkle in disgust when he thought about it. But the truth was, he hadn't thought about it in a while... their dad dying worked to break them out of that feud. There were bigger things to worry about, and despite everything that went down in the last few years, they'd lived a whole life together before that.

That still meant something to Rafe. 

It meant something to Sarah, too, he thinks, because she'd been less appalled by him lately. She checked in every once in a while. A few months back, he'd formally apologized to her, and of course, it would never be enough, but he felt a weight off his shoulder when she accepted it. When he realized she wasn't scared of him anymore. 

Maybe they could move passed everything. It would take a long time, sure. But he could wait for family. The only family he has. 

One of the guys next to Sarah, wearing a backwards baseball cap, stiffens.

"Don't thank him. He's Barry's bitch." He bites like Sarah's words are absurd, then stares hard at Rafe. "In fact, he's probably just here to score some more coke."

Rafe's grits his teeth, eyes fluttering shut for a second. He opens them and shakily exhales. 

"I'm clean, now." 

Your heart clenches at how raw his voice sounds. You watch with wide eyes as the same guy scoffs at him.

"Yeah, like anybody believes that." He mumbles under his breath. Before you can try and defend him, Sarah steps in. 

"Guys,��I called him." She admits, fatigue evident in her voice. It makes you wonder how long the confrontation between them had gone on before you and Rafe showed up. Another guy, one wearing a bandana across his forehead, casts Sarah a sour glance and she sighs. "You know I had to, John B. Did you want Barry to leave, or not?"

He didn't have anything to say to that. 

Sarah steps away from her friends in an attempt at some privacy. She approaches Rafe, and by extension, you, while the rest of the gang diffuses around the bonfire. Whatever had gone down in the past between these people, it was clear they wanted nothing to do with Rafe moving forward, and it was perhaps only because Sarah was family that she even entertained speaking to him. You appreciated her for that. 

"It's been a while." Sarah comments. "You've been... doing okay?"

Rafe shuffles nervously in front of her, nodding without meeting her eyes. 

"Yeah, I've been good. You?" 

Sarah nods and a silence falls between them. 

"You're still hanging around Barry?" She asks, raising an eyebrow in disapproval. 

"He's not that bad."

"Yeah, I'll try to remember that when he's not threatening me and my friends for 25 thousand dollars."

Rafe shakes his head with a new-found confidence, raising his chin to meet her stormy and inquisitive eyes. "Nah, I talked to him. He won't bother you guys anymore."

Sarah nods again, and another silence falls between them. 

"You're really doing good?" She asks again, bottom lip wedged beneath her teeth.

"Yeah, I am. I'm, uh, getting help. Got this... group thing."

At the mention of a 'group', Sarah's eyes sweep over to you, drinking in your slightly turned face and averted gaze as you try to give the siblings some space for their conversation. She feels her lips twitch a little. So much had happened. A lot she didn't think she would ever forgive, maybe should never forgive. But she couldn't deny that it was more complex than that, nor could she deny that she missed her older brother. The one from before. Who she'd make eye contact across the dinner table with when Rose waxed poetic about their new marble counters. If they could find their way back there, she'd be lying if she said the idea didn't make her happy. 

"I'm really happy to hear that, Rafe. Honestly." 

Rafe smiles weakly. They say their goodbyes and manage an awkward side-hug with each other. When he turns around, you silently take his hand in yours, and you walk along the roaring beach back to his truck. 

Back at the truck, you lay your head on Rafe's shoulder as he sits in the driver's seat, still parked at the side of the road. Rafe keeps his eyes closed, taking a deep breath before he starts to speak. 

"My dad scared me." 

Instinctively, you reach your hand over the console and tangle your fingers together. You give his hand a gentle squeeze. 

"I fucked up a lot, embarrassed him. And I, uh, I don't blame him for that. I was high all the time. Angry. Violent." He continues, sniffling slightly. "He wasn't scared of me, though. Never was."

"I guess I just wanted him to look at me and not be ashamed, you know?"

Rafe gulps, trying to let the sound of your soft hums and the warmth of your body keep him steady. 

"I did some really bad things to people. Things I'm not proud of." He whispers with his head hanging. "They didn't deserve it... and now, I have to live with that."

He shuts his eyes and exhales. 

"It's, uh... it's really hard living with that."

Lifting your head from his shoulder, you bite your lip as you take in Rafe's words, fingers reaching forward to brush away the spare tears that collect on his cheeks. He leans into your touch, finding comfort in it. 

"Hey." You say softly. "Look at you, talking about your dad. You're doing a really good job, Rafe."

He smiles weakly, his eyes trained on his lap. "Sorry tonight was a bust."

"It wasn't." You protest. "Plus, it's not over yet."

Rafe lifts his chin to look at you, his curiosity piqued.

You lick your lips and trace your fingers along his jaw, maneuvering yourself over the console to firmly grip the sides of his face and pull his lips to yours in a long and messy kiss. It's clumsy, with your noses bumping, and teeth scraping - but it's hot and it makes you feel tingly.

Rafe nips at your bottom lip shamelessly, kisses trailing down the column of your throat. "In the truck?" He asks, and you can practically hear the grin in his voice.

"In the truck." You breathe, holding back a moan when Rafe sucks on your skin. 

One way or another, the two of you find your way into Rafe's backseat. He's sitting with his legs wedged apart while you grind on top of him, muttering obscenities under your breath and weaving your fingers through his hair.

The sounds of your pleasure do more for him than he'd care to admit. When you unzip his slacks and stick your hand into his briefs to pull out his leaky cock, he throws his head back against the headrest and hisses at the contact. He is so fucking sensitive already.

"No, don't." Rafe protests breathlessly when you stroke his hard cock a few times, his hand slipping from your hip to wrap around your wrist and pull it away. Your eyes widen and you unfurl your hand immediately, only to smile when you realize why he wants you to stop. He tries to calm himself down, but can feel it building. 

"It's been a while." Rafe defends, and you giggle on top of him, pressing a sloppy kiss to the underside of his jaw. 

"Honestly, Rafe. That's really fucking hot." 

You pull your top over your head and toss it to the floor, then quickly unclasp your bra. Rafe groans immediately, half-lidded eyes so pretty and pitiful as one of his hands reaches up to grope you, while his mouth latches on to one of the hardening buds. You raise your hips to pull down your shorts, but it's not quick enough for Rafe. He tugs impatiently at the lace of your panties. 

Rafe sits you down on him, letting you control the speed as he enters you. Your mouth falls open as you attempt to take him fully, eyes screwed shut, gasp after gasp leaving your lips. 

"Fuck." You pant as he bottoms out, unable to move for a second as your head slumps in his chest. Rafe chuckles underneath you, large hands squeezing your hips. 

"You okay, baby?" 

"It's just big." You murmur, taking your bottom lip under your teeth. "It's really big, Rafe."

"I know," he coos softly as you begin to rock your hips on top of him, his own face twisting in pleasure as your pelvises kiss. "But you're doing so good, huh?"

You can barely respond, too taken by the feeling of your tight walls squeezing around him. By the sound of Rafe's deep thrusts, pistoling up into you as your hips knock into each other sloppily. Your slick dripping from where you're connected down to your thighs, squelching obscenely inside Rafe's truck, definitely staining the seats. 

"Taking my cock so well." He praises. "Splitting you in half, and you're taking it like a champ." 

You moan brokenly as Rafe hits your spot, his hand trailing down at the same time to rub circles on your aching clit with his thumb. 

"My good girl, huh? Always will be?"

You reach your climax as he presses searing kisses on your shoulder, shuddering with the kind of white hot pleasure that has your toes curling and a high-pitched whine vibrating from your throat that Rafe is sure he'll never forget. 

He comes shortly after, the way you clench around him through your orgasm enough to send him reeling. He groans, pumping his hips a few more times before he stills completely and fills the condom with his spend. He holds you tightly as you both come down, the sounds of your heavy breathing overlapping with each other.

Before his cock softens, he pulls out slowly and disposes of the latex. He presses a soft kiss to your cheekbone when you frown at the loss of contact, whimpering sweetly.

"Don't pout, princess. You need to get filled up? Right here?" A slender finger trails down to your slit, bumping your sensitive clit in the process, and it prods at your wet hole. 

He chuckles, brushing the sweaty hair from your face with his other hand. "I got that. Just gotta be patient and wait 'til I get you home. You can do that for me, right, pretty girl?"

The next morning, you strap yourself into the passenger seat of Rafe's truck as he drives to a busted Church at the outer edge of Figure 8. He takes his seat amongst a circle of foldable chairs and you take your seat next to him. His hand reaches out to grip yours not different from how it did last night, through fucking and sleeping alike.

When it's his turn to speak, you squeeze his hand encouragingly and he takes a deep breath.

"My dad, Ward Cameron, passed away about a year ago. He was a lot of things..."

a/n: thank you for reading! comments/reblogs appreciated!!

[some-stars]

REC POST REC POST REC POST LIKE IT'S 2005

im gonna do more of these, but this one is "poolverine(-adjacent) fics where they have serious relationship conflict besides pre-confession pining and miscommunication". please enjoy! leave comments!

The One Where Logan and Wade Learn How to be Boyfriends (series), ashe_urbanipal Literally you could not describe a story/series in a way more designed to push all my most favorite buttons. They have to figure this shit OUT!! It's MESSY!!! And they keep TRYING and getting gradually, unevenly better at it, mostly!!! The love confessions happen in the first fic in the series and then we get into the MEAT of it all. Brain damage, jealousy, trauma, and intense relationship-repairing conversations while having fingers cut off. This series has it ALL.

Come Hell or High Water, farmhandler Another wonderfully messy long fic that acknowledges these guys need serious therapy. The deep affection and intense frustration are both so REAL, it makes me so happy.

Blood, Dirt, Love (Stop), por_queeee The relationship issues are resolved without TOO much difficulty here but they're definitely present, and also this fic has my absolute favorite take so far on Logan's X-Men-related trauma and how that might play out for him.

Don't Want To Be A Fool For You, HeavensAche This is just deliciously complicated and messy and beautiful. Like honestly I could list specific things but if you want the slow tangled process of them figuring their shit out, this DELIVERS.

Like a Little Prayer, whiskeywitch This one is very short but it's probably my favorite take on the "Logan skewers Wade during a nightmare" scenario. Intense but understated, not easily fully resolved.

It's Not Fucking Nice, Thestarvedghost I really enjoy this exploration of how Logan's two hundred years of issues and damage would weigh heavy on his relationship with Wade, no matter how much they love each other. A really interesting way to bring Logan's Victor issues into it, too. (Me being me, I should probably specify that this contains NO sibling incest, just deeply abusive and unhealthy relationship dynamics.)

the girlfriend experience, kekinkawaii In which Wade FUCKS UP, big time. Happy ending but GOD, I love when they really truly badly hurt each other.

so leave me my liver and leave me my skin (leave me the way all those other homes did), iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid Love when Logan gets to be an absolute fucking mess of trauma and poor coping skills. With a hopeful ending, even! (This one is gen but it's still in great part About Them.)

themes for future rec lists: best smut, my favorite honda odyssey fics, Just Really Fucking Good Shit, cablepool, ???

[emjayewrites]

hey there, delilah • jude bellingham (5/6)

SYNOPSIS: Real Madrid football star Jude Bellingham has had a big crush on Delilah "Lila" Hamilton, the younger sister of Formula 1 legend Lewis Hamilton, for a while. As their budding romance unfolds, will they be able to navigate the pressures of fame and family dynamics?

PAIRINGS: Jude Bellingham x Delilah "Lila" Hamilton (face claim Rayan Xasan)

WARNINGS: cursing, f1/football b.s., overly protective siblings, eventual smut (18+/minors dni)

TAGLIST: @dreamingjude @foreverisntenough @nichmeddar @hopefulromantic1 @lettersofgold @judesbabymamas @perfecttrashface @alika-4466 @cocobutterqwueen @leilaxaliel @ispywithmylileye @vile-harlot @bellinghaalands @certifiedlesbianbaddie @yeea-nah @empressdede @saturnville @pinkcatcus @shepgurl @neewrites @trentswrld @taytropicana

A/N: Please let me know if you like to be removed/added to the taglist.

The Weimarer Land Spa and Golf Resort, nestled in the picturesque outskirts of Blankenhain, served as the perfect base for England's Euro training camp. The luxurious resort boasted top-notch training facilities, including multiple pristine football pitches, a fully equipped gym, and a high-tech recovery center. The players also had access to an 18-hole golf course, spa facilities, and gourmet dining options to help them relax between intense training sessions.

On a crisp morning, Jude and his teammates gathered on one of the immaculate pitches for their daily warm-up. The air buzzed with excitement and nervous energy as they prepared for another grueling practice session.

The players started with light jogging, gradually increasing their pace as they circled the pitch. They then moved on to dynamic stretches, focusing on loosening up their muscles and improving flexibility. Ankle rotations, hip circles, and arm swings were followed by more football-specific movements like high knees and butt kicks.

As they transitioned into passing drills, Jude found himself alongside Trent Alexander-Arnold and his roommate, Eberechi Eze. The three young players couldn't help but engage in some playful banter as they knocked the ball between them.

"Oi, Trent," Jude called out as he received a pass, "seen your barber lately? That trim's looking a bit dodgy, mate."

Trent rolled his eyes, a grin playing on his lips. "Fuck you. Not all of us can have a personal stylist on call 24/7."

Eze chimed in, "Yeah, some of us have to make do with what we've got. Speaking of which, Jude, when are you gonna hook a brother up with that LV sponsorship?"

"Off of it," Jude laughed, deliberately misplacing his pass to Eze. "You wish, mate. Maybe if you score in the opener, I'll consider putting in a good word."

"Oh, that's how it is?" Eze retorted, chasing after the ball. "Just wait 'til I nutmeg you in front of everyone. Your LV deal'll be mine before you know it."

Their laughter echoed across the pitch, drawing looks from some of the other players. Trent was about to fire back with another quip when a sharp whistle cut through the air.

"Alright, lads!" Gareth Southgate's voice boomed across the field. "That's enough fucking around. Let's get serious and start our real work for the day."

The three friends exchanged amused glances before jogging to join the rest of the team, ready to throw themselves into the day's training session.

A grin spread across Jude's face. "Alright, Trent, I'll hook you up with my barber. Maybe then you won't look like you've been cutting your own hair with safety scissors."

Trent nudged his friend on the shoulder, earning a hearty laugh from Jude. "I hate you so fucking much."

As the training session progressed, the players were split into groups for various drills. Jude found himself waiting alongside Trent for their turn at a passing exercise.

"So," Trent began, a mischievous glint in his eye, "how's things with Miss Hamilton?"

Jude felt his cheeks redden at the mention of Lila. "She's good, yeah. Miss her though."

"Bet you do," Trent teased. "When's she coming to watch?"

"She'll be at the opener in Gelsenkirchen," Jude replied, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice. "Was texting her last night actually. She's in Milan right now, finishing up some big business deal."

Trent's eyebrows shot up. "Business deal? What kind?"

Jude shrugged. "Dunno, mate. She didn't even tell me. Said it was all hush-hush for now."

Their conversation was interrupted as it was their turn for the drill. As they jogged back to the end of the line, Trent brought up Southgate's plan for family visits.

"Heard about the visiting rules?" he asked. "Southgate's paranoid about another Baden-Baden situation."

Jude nodded. "Yeah, 48 hours after matches. Bit strict, but I get it. At least some family's allowed to stay nearby. My mum's one of them."

"Lucky," Trent muttered. "My lot's stuck with the 48-hour rule."

As they continued their drills, Jude's mind wandered to Lila. He was grateful for the time they'd have together, even if it was limited. The thought of seeing her after the opener gave him an extra boost of motivation as he threw himself into the rest of the training session.

The day wore on, filled with tactical discussions, more drills, and a practice match. By the time Southgate blew the final whistle, the players were exhausted but satisfied with their progress.

Jude headed back to the locker room, and he pulled out his phone, smiling at a new message from Lila. Despite the grueling day, knowing she'd be there soon made everything feel a bit better. The locker room was filled with the usual post-training chatter when Bukayo Saka's voice suddenly rang out above the rest.

"Oi, Dec! Play that shit!" Saka called to Declan Rice, who was fiddling with a bluetooth speaker.

A moment later, the opening beats of Central Cee and Lil Baby's 'BAND4BAND' filled the room. Several players immediately perked up, bobbing their heads to the rhythm.

"Yes, bruv!" Saka exclaimed, starting to rap along with the lyrics.

Marcus Rashford joined in, matching Saka word for word. "We can go band for band, fuck that, we can go M for M…"

Jude shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips as he watched his teammates' impromptu performance. He pulled off his sweaty training kit, tossing it into the laundry bin.

"Not feeling it, Jude?" Eze asked, noticing Jude's lack of participation.

Jude chuckled. "Nah, mate. I'll leave the rapping to you lot. I'm more of a shower singer myself."

When he headed inside the showers, he could hear Phil Foden attempting to hit some of the high notes of a song from Queen, much to the amusement (and mock horror) of the others.

The hot water was a welcome relief, washing away the grime and tension from the day. By the time Jude emerged, dressed in his team tracksuit, the locker room had mostly cleared out.

He found Trent waiting for him in the corridor, phone in hand.

"Ready for lunch?" Trent asked, falling into step beside Jude as they headed towards the dining room.

"Starving," Jude replied. He glanced at Trent's phone. "What you looking at?"

Trent grinned, holding up his screen to show the Raya app. "Just checking out some potential matches. Want to help?" Jude gave him a shrug as a response. "What do you think of this one?" Trent asked, holding up his phone to display a photo of a stylish brunette.

Jude glanced at the screen, taking in the woman's profile. "She seems nice, mate. Good taste in music by the looks of it. Into indie rock, eh?"

Trent nodded approvingly. "Yeah, caught my eye. How about this one?" He swiped to another profile, this time a blonde with a radiant smile.

"Yoga instructor, vegan chef… bit different from your usual type, innit?" Jude observed with a smirk.

"Trying to broaden my horizons," Trent replied with a chuckle.

"Dickhead," Jude muttered with a bemused sigh.

They entered the dining room, picking out their lunch - grilled chicken, quinoa, and a variety of steamed vegetables, all carefully portioned according to the team nutritionist's guidelines. Finding a table, they settled in to eat.

As Jude was about to take his first bite, his phone lit up with a FaceTime request from Lila. His face instantly broke into a wide grin.

"It's my baby, it's my baby," Jude sing-songed, making Trent roll his eyes good-naturedly.

"Go on then, lover boy," Trent teased.

Jude answered the call, his face lighting up at the sight of Lila. "Hey, beautiful! How's Milan?"

"Busy but exciting," Lila replied, her voice slightly tinny through the phone speaker. "Just finished the meeting. How was training?"

"Brutal," Jude groaned dramatically. "Southgate's working us to the bone."

They chatted about Lila's day and Jude's training. At one point, Jude turned the camera to include Trent.

"Say hi to Trent, Li," Jude said.

"Hey, Trent!" Lila waved. "Keeping this one in line?"

Trent laughed, leaning into frame. "Trying my best, but it's a full-time job. Your boy here can't stop gushing about you, by the way. It's getting a bit sickening, really."

"Oi, shut it," Jude protested, but he was grinning.

Lila giggled. "Aw, Judey Bear, you softie."

The conversation continued, filled with laughter and easy banter. Jude and Lila made plans for her upcoming visit, while Trent occasionally chimed in with a joke or comment.

As they wrapped up the call, Jude's expression was noticeably brighter. "Bye, baby. Can't wait to see you. I'll phone you later, alright?"

After hanging up, Trent raised an eyebrow at Jude. "You two are disgustingly cute, you know that?"

Jude just shrugged, unable to wipe the smile off his face. "I know."

Trent shook his head in disbelief. "I still can't wrap my head around it, mate. One minute you're crushing on her Instagram, next thing you're proper boyfriend and girlfriend. What's your secret?"

Jude grinned, taking a bite of his lunch. "Just my natural charm, I suppose."

"Come off it," Trent scoffed. "Give us your game card, then. Share the wealth."

"Nah," Jude replied with a firm headshake. "Can't let my secret weapon go public. Got to keep some mystery, you know?"

Just then, Bukayo Saka approached their table, tray in hand. "Alright if I join?"

Trent put on a mock serious face. "Sorry, mate. You can't sit with us."

Saka promptly flipped him the bird before sitting down anyway. "What are we chatting about then?"

Jude filled him in. "Just Trent being in awe of my relationship skills."

"Ah," Saka nodded, a smile spreading across his face. "Speaking of, Tolami can't wait to meet Lila. She's proper excited about it."

Jude nodded, his expression brightening at the mention of Lila. "Yeah, Lila mentioned that. They're following each other on Insta now. I reckon they'll get on well."

"It'll be nice for Lila to have someone to hang out with during the matches," Trent observed. "You know, when she's not too busy swooning over your football skills."

Jude rolled his eyes but couldn't suppress his grin. "Shut up, you mug."

Saka leaned in, a mischievous glint in his eye. "So, Jude, when are you going to let me meet the famous Lila? I need to make sure she's good enough for our star midfielder."

"Oi," Jude protested, but he was laughing. "You will meet her soon enough. Just... try not to embarrass me too much, yeah?"

They continued to talk about a plethora of things, including their love lives and excited chatter about the upcoming tournament. As they finished their lunch, Jude couldn't help but feel a surge of anticipation. The Euros were just around the corner, and soon, he'd have Lila by his side to share in the excitement.

Life was pretty good if he'd say so himself.

The day had been a whirlwind for Lila. It started with an early morning photoshoot at Versace's headquarters, where she modeled pieces from the upcoming collection. The energy on set was electric, with Donatella herself overseeing the shoot and offering words of encouragement.

After the photoshoot, Lila attended a series of meetings with Versace's marketing team to discuss the rollout plan for her ambassadorship. They covered everything from social media strategies to potential event appearances. Lila's head was spinning with information, but she felt exhilarated by the opportunities ahead.

In the afternoon, she had a final fitting for the custom Versace gown she would wear to the announcement dinner. As she stood in front of the mirror, draped in the stunning creation, the reality of her new role truly began to sink in.

Throughout the day, Lila's thoughts kept drifting to Jude. She longed to share this experience with him, to see his proud smile and feel his supportive embrace. Despite the excitement of the day, she found herself counting down the hours until she could hear his voice again.

As evening approached and Lila prepared for the dinner, she felt a mix of anticipation and nerves. She was about to step into a new chapter of her life, and while Jude couldn't be there physically, she carried the warmth of his support with her.

Now, as Lila sat in the private dining room at Cracco Restaurant, surrounded by Versace's top executives and creative team, she felt a sense of accomplishment and gratitude. After months of secrecy and hard work, it was finally official - she was Versace's newest ambassador.

The space was adorned with sleek, modern decor that complemented the restaurant's innovative cuisine. Crystal chandeliers cast a warm glow over the gathering.

Donatella Versace stood to give a speech, her presence commanding the room. "I've known Lila since she was just ten years old," she began, her voice warm with affection. "She would join her brother Lewis at our fashion shows, her eyes wide with wonder. Now, to see her not only as our ambassador but also launching her own label, Petite Soeur… I couldn't be prouder. We at Versace are thrilled to begin this collaboration."

As the evening progressed, Lila savored each moment, from the exquisite seven-course tasting menu to the animated conversations about upcoming projects. Once the evening wound down, Lila's driver escorted her to a sleek black Mercedes. The city lights of Milan twinkled as they made their way through the historic streets to the Bulgari Hotel Milano.

The hotel, housed in an 18th-century palazzo, exuded luxury from the moment Lila stepped into the marble-floored lobby. Her suite, with its blend of contemporary design and classic Italian opulence, offered a stunning view of the private garden.

Lila received a notification. The official announcement of her ambassadorship had just been released across all of Versace's social media platforms. Within moments, her phone exploded with calls and messages.

Amidst the flood of notifications, Jude's name popped up. She answered immediately.

"FUCK YEAH!" Jude's voice boomed through the speaker, making Lila laugh.

"Easy there, you almost burst my eardrums," she teased.

Jude's excitement was palpable. "I'm so proud of you, Li! My parents saw the news too - they're proper chuffed for you."

Lila felt a wave of gratitude. She recalled their meeting at the Champions League match - Denise's warm embrace, Mark's kind words, and Jobe's playful banter. Their sincerity had touched her deeply, making her feel instantly welcome.

"It means so much that your family is happy for me," Lila said softly. "They were so lovely at the match. I was nervous about meeting them, but they made me feel so welcome."

Jude's voice softened. "They adore you, Li. Mum hasn't stopped talking about how sweet you are since that day. But babe," he continued. "The internet's going mental over it. You're trending everywhere!"

Lila grinned, still trying to process it all. "It's a bit overwhelming, to be honest. But in the best way possible."

"You deserve all of it," Jude assured her. "God, I miss you. Can't wait to see you this weekend and celebrate properly. You're definitely getting celebratory head."

"Jesus Christ, Jude!"

"I'm serious, Li. Fuck...I can't wait."

"I can't wait either," Lila replied softly, her cheeks flushing as she remembered their time in Ibiza. "So, tell me more about training," Lila prompted, stifling a yawn. "How's Southgate working you lot?"

She made herself comfortable on the plush king-sized bed, nestling into the soft pillows. The city lights of Milan twinkled outside her window, creating a cozy atmosphere.

Jude chuckled, the sound warm even through the phone. "Still brutal, if I'm honest. But it's good, you know? Feels like we're really coming together as a team."

They chatted about the dynamics of the England squad, Jude sharing funny anecdotes about his teammates and their off-pitch antics. Lila listened, occasionally interjecting with questions or laughter. As the night wore on, their conversation drifted to more personal topics. They talked about their childhoods, their dreams for the future, and the little things that made them happy.

"You know what I also can't wait for?" Jude said, his voice soft and slightly drowsy.

"What's that?" Lila murmured, her own eyelids growing heavy.

"To watch the sunset with you in Gelsenkirchen after we win our first match," he replied.

Lila smiled, warmth spreading through her chest. "That sounds perfect."

Their words became fewer and farther between, replaced by comfortable silences and the soft sound of their breathing. Neither wanted to be the first to hang up, content in the illusion of closeness despite the miles between them.

"Jude?" Lila whispered after a particularly long pause.

"Mmm?" came his sleepy response.

"I'm really happy," she said simply.

"Me too, Li," he murmured. "Me too."

The night deepened and their breathing synchronized, both drifting off to sleep with their phones still connected. In the quiet of their respective rooms - Lila in her luxurious Milan suite and Jude in his training camp accommodation - they shared a moment of peace, connected by the invisible thread of their growing relationship.

The last thing Lila heard before sleep claimed her was Jude's soft, rhythmic breathing, a comforting lullaby that carried her into her dreams.

lilahamilton • posted on their story 6 hours ago

story comments:

judebellingham: no fucking way 🤯 I’m so proud of u!! 🫶🏽

lewishamilton: congrats peanut!!

fencer: that’s what I’m talking about lil sis!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

foreverjudebellingham: yay lila!!

tolami_benson: congrats babe 🥳

england: absolutely crazy! congrats lila! 🎉

versace: 💕💕

The Veltins-Arena in Gelsenkirchen buzzed with anticipation as fans filed in for England's Euro 2024 opener against Serbia. The atmosphere was electric, with chants and songs echoing through the stadium. Flags waved, faces painted in red and white, as the excitement built to a fever pitch.

Lila made her way through the crowd, her heart racing with anticipation. She was dressed in an oversized black leather jacket, a cropped England jersey with Jude's number, high-waisted jeans featuring a red stripe and lion emblems on the sides, and Adidas trainers. Her eyes scanned the sea of faces, searching for Tolami.

Suddenly, she spotted her. Tolami stood out effortlessly in the crowd, her presence commanding attention. She was taller than Lila's petite 5'3" frame, with lustrous black hair styled in a middle part and curled, falling just below her shoulders. Her deep brown, blemish-free skin seemed to glow, and when she smiled, her megawatt grin lit up her entire face, causing endearing crinkles around her warm brown eyes.

As Lila approached, Tolami lifted her black cat-eye sunglasses, placing them atop her head in a casual, effortlessly cool 'it girl' manner.

"Lila!" Tolami exclaimed, opening her arms for a hug.

The moment they embraced, Lila felt an instant connection. Tolami's hug was warm and genuine, and Lila knew right away that they were going to be fast friends.

"It's so good to finally meet you in person!" Lila said as they pulled apart.

Tolami nodded enthusiastically. "I know! I feel like I already know you from all our chats. But girl, you're even prettier in person!"

As they made their way to their seats, they chatted animatedly about everything from their boyfriends' pre-match rituals to their own matchday outfits. Tolami's personality shone through - friendly and warm, but with an underlying strength that suggested she didn't take any nonsense.

The energy in the stadium continued to build as kickoff approached. When the teams emerged onto the pitch, both Lila and Tolami jumped to their feet, cheering loudly. Their eyes were fixed on Jude and Bukayo as they lined up for the national anthem.

When the match began, Lila and Tolami were on the edge of their seats, their hands often finding each other's in moments of tension or excitement. They gasped collectively as Jude connected with Bukayo's cross in the 13th minute, heading the ball into the net.

The stadium erupted, and Lila and Tolami were no exception. They leapt to their feet, screaming in joy. On the pitch, Jude and Trent's celebration was iconic - both dropped to one knee before placing a splayed hand over their face, a move that would be replayed on highlight reels for days to come.

"Yes! That's my man!" Lila shouted, her voice hoarse with excitement.

Tolami hugged her tightly. "And assisted by mine! They're unstoppable together!"

The match progressed, and they rode the emotional rollercoaster together - celebrating England's strong first half, then biting their nails as Serbia pushed back in the second. Tolami's running commentary was both insightful and hilarious, keeping Lila laughing even in the most tense moments.

When Harry Kane's header was brilliantly saved, hitting the underside of the bar, both women groaned in unison. "So close!" Tolami exclaimed, squeezing Lila's hand.

The final minutes of the match were nail-biting. As Serbia pressed for an equalizer, Lila and Tolami clung to each other, barely able to watch. When the final whistle blew, signaling England's 1-0 victory, they erupted in cheers, hugging each other tightly.

"What a start!" Tolami exclaimed, her face beaming with joy.

Lila nodded, her eyes shining with unshed happy tears. "Jude was incredible out there. And Bukayo with that assist!"

"We have to do this again for the next match," Tolami said as they walked out.

Lila agreed enthusiastically. "Absolutely! Maybe we can grab lunch before the game next time?"

They made their way to the area where the WAGs and other supporters waited for the players. Tolami sighed, running a hand through her hair. "This two-day post-match policy is killing me. Southgate's strictness is next level."

Lila nodded sympathetically. "I know. Jude's been complaining about it too."

As they approached the waiting area, Tolami brightened. "Oh, let me introduce you to someone. Lauren!" She waved to a blonde woman nearby. "Lauren, this is Lila, Jude's girlfriend. Lila, this is Lauren Fryer, Declan's girlfriend."

Lauren suddenly chuckled. "You know, Lila, we both have Judes in our lives." Lila looked confused momentarily before Lauren explained, "My son's name is Jude."

"Oh!" Lila laughed. "That's adorable. Judes seem to be pretty special, huh?"

Their laughter was interrupted by Lila's attention being drawn to a group of girls in the corner, whispering and giggling. Their gaze was fixed on Lauren, and their expressions were far from friendly.

Lila felt her temper flare. "What the fuck do you think-" she began, but Lauren's hand on her arm stopped her.

"Girl, it's not worth it," Tolami said softly.

Lauren nodded. "Yeah, I appreciate it, but I realized my mental health is a lot better when I just ignore them. Besides," she added with a smile, "here come our men."

Sure enough, the players were emerging from the locker room, all clad in the team's tracksuit. Some of the girls in the corner began to fawn and scream, clearly trying to catch the attention of the single players.

But Lila only had eyes for Jude. When he spotted her, his face lit up, and he jogged over. In one smooth motion, he swept her up in a bear hug, lifting her off her feet. His lips peppered her cheeks with kisses as he spoke.

"God, I missed you," Jude said, his voice muffled against her hair. "Did you see the goal? That was for you, babe."

Lila laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I saw it. You were brilliant out there."

As Jude set her down, keeping an arm around her waist, Lila caught sight of the group of girls from earlier. They were watching her and Jude with barely concealed envy. But Lila found she didn't care. She was exactly where she wanted to be, with the man she cared about, celebrating a victory that felt like it belonged to both of them.

Jude looked around at the other WAGs. "You ladies been taking care of my girl?" he asked with a grin.

Tolami laughed. "More like she's been taking care of us. You've got a firecracker here, Jude."

Jude's arm tightened around Lila's waist. "Don't I know it," he said, his voice warm with affection.

The other players joined their partners, and the atmosphere became festive. The victory had everyone in high spirits, and for a moment, the strictness of Southgate's rules seemed far away.

Bukayo approached the group, his arm wrapping around Tolami. Lila's eyes lit up, her inner Arsenal fan barely contained.

"Bukayo! Brilliant game," Lila said enthusiastically as they shook hands.

Bukayo grinned. "Thanks! And it's such a pleasure to finally meet you, Lila. Jude here won't shut up about you."

Declan Rice joined them, exchanging greetings with everyone. "Hey, anyone up for some pints and food?" he suggested.

Bukayo pulled Tolami closer. "Respectfully, I'm declining. I miss my girl and spend too much time with your stinky arses already," he joked.

Jude nodded in agreement. "Same here, mate. But next time for sure," he promised, offering fist bumps to Bukayo and Declan.

After they said their farewells, Jude led Lila away, and she glanced around. "Where's Trent?"

Jude chuckled. "Probably talking up one of the groupies, but nevermind that, focus on us," he said cheekily, guiding her towards the exit.

Outside, a small crowd of fans and paparazzi awaited. Camera flashes went off as Jude signed autographs and took photos with fans, always keeping Lila close. Finally, they made it to the parking lot where Lila's rental car waited.

Once inside the car, Jude pulled Lila into another kiss. This one was slow and deliberate, his tongue tracing the outline of her bottom lip. When he pulled back, he wore a wide grin.

"Looks like both of us deserve celebratory head tonight," he said with a wink.

Lila rolled her eyes, but couldn't suppress her smile. "You're fuckin' impossible," she said, starting up the car.

"Impossibly charming, you mean," Jude retorted, settling into his seat.

As they drove away from the stadium, the excitement of the match still buzzing between them, Lila couldn't help but feel that this was just the beginning of an unforgettable summer.

lilahamilton • posted on their story 12 hours ago

story comments:

footballwags: yes!! we needed this duo!!

britishvogue: you and tolami are literal goals!! ⚽️ 🥅

judebellingham: thank you baby 💕🥹

tolami_benson: my baby boo 💖✨

jobebellingham: go jude!!

landonorris: get in there, jude!!!!!

f1: so happy you’re having a great time but we miss you on the paddock, lila 😢

Jude woke up feeling on top of the world. The euphoria of winning England's Euro opener still coursed through his veins, mingling with the warmth of having Lila by his side. Last night had been perfect - a celebratory dinner filled with carbs and laughter, followed by hours of cuddling and exploring one another bodies.

Celebratory head, sixty-nine, whatever one wished to describe it....he'd enjoyed it plenty. Lila was a fast learner, eager to please him just as much as he wanted to please her. Thus far, he's been marching to the beat of her drum - listening aptly to all of her wants, needs, and desires without crossing any boundary lines. Jude knew all about Lila's lack of experience, but he also knew that being her first was serious business.

The most serious. She was sweet, shy, and curious, which he never had in any flings besides his first time and he wanted nothing but the best for her.

As he scrolled through his phone, Jude couldn't help but smile at the flood of congratulatory messages, but mixed in with the positivity were the inevitable naysayers - people questioning whether he was too young for a serious relationship, wondering if Lila was just another WAG, or worse, accusing her of being with him for fame.

Jude's jaw clenched. He was determined to prove them all wrong. This wasn't just some fleeting romance; he was committed to Lila. He'd been crushing on her for so long, admiring her from afar, and now that they were finally together, he'd be damned if he let anyone or anything mess it up.

His DMs were flooded, more so than usual. Among the fan messages were an increasing number from groupies, their advances more bold now that his relationship was public. Jude ignored them all. He had eyes only for Lila.

A notification caught his attention - Lewis Hamilton had followed him on Instagram. Jude's heart raced for a moment, and the fan in him was excited to be noticed by the racing GOAT. But reality quickly set in. This wasn't about a simple liking to Jude per se; this was Lewis keeping tabs on the guy dating his little sister.

The thought of Lewis watching his every move online was intimidating, but Jude refused to let it scare him off. He was in this for the long haul, ready to face whatever challenges came their way - overprotective brothers included.

As Lila stirred beside him, Jude put his phone down. Social media, public opinion, even Lewis's watchful eye - none of it mattered in this moment. What mattered was the girl next to him, the connection they shared, and the future they were building together.

Jude was ready to show the world, and himself, that he was capable of balancing his career and a relationship. With Lila by his side, he felt invincible, ready to take on the Euros, the doubters, and anything else life threw his way.

Lila's eyes fluttered open and his heart swelled at the sight of her.

"Morning, beautiful," Jude murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

Lila stretched, a sleepy smile spreading across her face. "Morning. What time is it?"

"Just past eight," Jude replied, checking his phone. "Fancy some breakfast?"

Lila nodded enthusiastically. "God, yes. I'm starving."

They perused the room service menu together, debating the merits of various breakfast options.

"Croissants are a must," Lila insisted.

Jude grinned. "Agreed. And maybe some eggs? I need my protein."

After placing their order - a spread of croissants, fruit, eggs, and plenty of coffee - they settled back into bed, chatting about the previous day's events.

"I still can't believe that goal," Lila said, her eyes shining with pride. "The whole stadium went wild."

Jude felt a warmth spread through his chest at her words. "It was a team effort, really. But I won't lie, it felt amazing."

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock at the door - their breakfast had arrived. They set up their impromptu picnic on the bed, the smell of fresh coffee and pastries filling the room.

As they started to eat, Jude couldn't help but marvel at how comfortable this all felt - sharing a lazy morning with Lila, enjoying a simple breakfast together. It was a pocket of normalcy in their otherwise hectic lives.

"So," Jude said, taking a sip of his coffee, "what's next on your agenda while I'm off being a football star?" His eyes twinkled with playful mischief.

Lila rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Well, Mr. Star, I've got a few things lined up. There's a Versace photoshoot in Positano next week, and then I'm headed to Barcelona for Lewis's race."

"Ah, supporting the other star in your life, eh?" Jude teased, leaning in to steal a quick kiss.

Lila laughed, her fingers lingering on his cheek. "Jealous?"

"Of your brother? Never," Jude grinned. "Though I might be a bit envious of Barcelona. The weather there is gorgeous this time of year."

"Speaking of gorgeous," Lila said, her tone turning more serious, "you were amazing in the match yesterday. How are you feeling about the next one?"

Jude's expression became focused. "Feeling good, actually. The team's in great form, and that win has really boosted our confidence. But we can't get complacent. Every match is crucial."

Lila nodded, understanding the pressure he was under. "You'll smash it, I know you will."

Their conversation drifted between Jude's upcoming matches and Lila's projects, punctuated by soft kisses and shared laughter. Despite the whirlwind of their lives and the constant public attention, in moments like these, it was just the two of them - Jude and Lila, enjoying each other's company and planning for their future.

As they finished their brunch, Jude pulled Lila close. "I'm going to miss you when you're in Barcelona," he admitted softly.

Lila snuggled into his embrace. "I'll miss you too. But I'll be cheering you on from afar, and I'll be back before you know it."

Jude smiled. "I know. And when you get back, we'll enjoy another repeat of last night, yeah?" Lila's face flushed and she ducked shyly into her hand. "No, no, don't be bashful now," he continued to tease, removing her hands from her face. "You felt so good, babes. That fuckin' mouth of yours is going to be the death of me."

"Is it?"

"Hell yes," he growled, rolling her over to smother her with kisses. She let out a surprised yelp that dissolved into a satisfied moan when one of his hands cupped her breast. Leaning forward, he captured a nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the perimeter of the bud until it hardened. As usual, Lila arched herself into him, her hips grinding to create delicious friction between herself and his boxer-covered sex. "Baby...cut that out."

Jude's murmurs against her skin made Lila shiver with anticipation. He loved her reaction to everything he did - her eyes and face were very expressive, unable to hide her true emotions, and he relished making her feel loved, cherished, and desired.

"J-Jude....p-please...." she moaned as she writhed beneath him.

"What? Tell me what you want."

"You."

"Me?" He glanced up to lock eyes with her and he wished he didn't. Her doe-like brown eyes were darkened to this seductive obsidian and filled with unbridled lust.

Fuck me, I turned her out.

And to think he didn't even give her all of the goods yet.

"Baby, please," she pleaded, jutting out her bottom lip for added effect. "Can you....uh.....lick me again?"

A small smile appeared on Jude's lips at the innocent tone of her voice. She was beginning to enjoy having her little pussy eaten, and Jude would always happily oblige.

"I'll lick you until you're hoarse and wrung out. How does that sound, babes?" he whispered, his breath hot against her skin.

Lila's eyes widened slightly at his words, a flush of excitement spreading across her cheeks. "That sounds... incredible," she murmured, her voice breathy.

Jude's smile widened, a mixture of affection and desire in his gaze. He shifted down the bed, positioning himself between her thighs. His hands gently parted her legs, revealing the glistening folds of her sex. He could see how wet and ready she was, her arousal evident in the slickness that coated her inner thighs.

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her inner thigh, his eyes never leaving hers. "Tell me if it's too much, alright?" he said softly.

Lila nodded, her breath hitching as she felt the first brush of his lips against her sensitive flesh. "I will," she promised, her voice trembling slightly.

Jude's tongue flicked out, teasing her clit with gentle, feather-light strokes. Lila's hips lifted off the bed, a moan escaping her lips as the first sparks of pleasure shot through her body. He continued to tease her, his tongue moving in slow, deliberate circles that had her shaking beneath him.

"Jude... oh God..." she moaned, her hands tangling in his curls as she pulled him closer to her center.

He increased the pressure and speed of his tongue, licking and sucking her clit with a fervor that had her seeing stars. Lila's moans grew louder, her body arching off the bed as she felt herself climbing higher and higher.

Jude's fingers joined in, slipping inside her wet heat and curling upwards to find that sweet spot that made her cry out in ecstasy. He worked her skillfully, his mouth and fingers moving in perfect harmony to drive her wild.

Lila's breaths came in short, ragged gasps, her entire body trembling with the intensity of her pleasure. "Jude, I'm so close... please, don't stop..." she begged, her voice desperate.

He had no intention of stopping. Jude doubled down, his tongue and fingers moving faster, pushing her closer and closer to the edge. "Cum for me, Lila," he murmured against her skin, his voice a low, sexy growl.

That was all it took. With a loud, keening moan, Lila shattered, her orgasm washing over her in powerful waves. Her body convulsed, her hands gripping Jude's hair tightly as she rode out the pleasure.

Jude didn't stop until she was a trembling, boneless mess. He kissed his way back up her body, his lips lingering on her sensitive skin as she came down from her high.

Lila's eyes fluttered open, a lazy, satisfied smile spreading across her face. "That was... incredible," she murmured, her voice still breathless.

Jude chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "I'm glad you think so, love. I aim to please."

She laughed softly, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a tender kiss. "You certainly succeeded," she said against his lips.

_______________________________________________________

Despite the comfort of the hotel bed, Jude and Lila decided to venture out and explore Gelsenkirchen. There was a slight chill in the air, unusual for summer, which gave them an excuse to walk close together.

"I heard about this place called Alma Park," Jude said as they left the hotel. "It's supposed to be pretty cool - an amusement park built in an old coal mine."

Lila's eyes lit up. "That sounds amazing! Let's go!"

They made their way to Alma Park, marveling at the unique setting as they arrived. The park was a perfect blend of industrial heritage and modern entertainment, with attractions spread out across the former coal mine site.

"This is incredible," Lila said, taking in the sight of roller coasters and other rides set against the backdrop of old mining structures.

Jude grinned, excited to see Lila so enthused. "What should we do first? There's mini golf, trampolines, paintball..."

"Ooh, escape rooms!" Lila pointed to a sign. "Fancy testing our teamwork skills?"

They spent the next hour in an escape room themed around the mine's history, laughing and working together to solve puzzles. After successfully "escaping," they moved on to mini golf, where Jude's competitive side came out.

Jude and Lila were halfway through their mini-golf game, when a young boy approached with his father.

"Excuse me," the father said politely, "my son is a huge fan. Would it be possible to get an autograph?"

Jude smiled warmly. "Of course, mate. What's your name?"

The boy, no more than eight, looked up with wide eyes. "T-Tommy," he stammered.

As Jude signed the boy's cap, Tommy found his voice. "You were brilliant yesterday! That goal was amazing!"

"Thanks, Tommy. Maybe you'll be scoring one day, eh?" Jude winked, handing back the cap.

Tommy beamed, clutching the cap to his chest. "Thank you so much!"

As they reached the back nine, a group of girls in their early twenties sauntered over.

"Oh my god, it's Jude Bellingham!" one squealed. "Can we get a picture?"

"Of course," Jude said politely, maintaining a respectful distance.

He posed for the photo, and one of the girls twirled her hair. "You were so hot on the pitch yesterday," she purred.

Another chimed in, "Yeah, do you want to hang out sometime? We could show you around town."

Jude felt Lila tense beside him. He cleared his throat. "I appreciate the offer, but I'm actually trying to enjoy some time with my girlfriend," he said firmly but kindly, wrapping an arm around Lila's waist.

The girls' faces fell. "Oh... girlfriend. Right," one muttered as they walked away.

Jude turned to Lila, giving her a reassuring squeeze. "Sorry about that."

Lila nodded, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. Jude made a mental note to address this later, determined to reassure Lila of his feelings for her.

"Hey, want to grab a pretzel?" Jude suggested, hoping to lift her mood.

They found a quiet bench to sit and eat. Jude watched Lila pick at her pretzel, concern etched on his face.

"Li, what's wrong?" he asked gently.

Lila sighed. "I... I got jealous," she admitted. "Those girls were so confident, so forward. And there will always be girls like that around you."

Jude took her hand. "Lila, look at me. I'm not worried about other girls. The only girl I'm concerned about is Delilah Marie Antoinette Hamilton."

Lila's eyes widened at the use of her full name, a bright smile spreading across her face.

"My whole name, Jude? Seriously?"

"Of course," Jude said softly. "You're the only one for me, Li. Never doubt that."

Lila leaned in, pressing a quick but tender kiss to his lips. As they parted, Jude rested his forehead against hers.

"All mine."

judebellingham and 3 others - VELTINS Arena

liked by lewishamilton, trentarnold66, england, and others

judebellingham: Good start. P.S. If you guys didn't know....she's all mine - and I'm all hers 🔒 tagged: england, lilahamilton, trentarnold66, and adidasfootball

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Lewis woke early in his Los Angeles home, the California sun already warming the air. After a long, intense run through the hills, he returned home, sweat glistening on his skin. In the kitchen, he prepared his post-workout vegan protein shake - a blend of plant-based protein powder, almond milk, banana, spinach, and a scoop of vegan peanut butter.

As he sipped his shake, Lewis scrolled through his Instagram feed. His thumb paused on a photo of Lila and Jude at the recent England match. The internet was buzzing about their official relationship status, and Lewis found himself tagged in countless posts and comments.

He sighed, conflicted emotions swirling within him. On one hand, he was happy to see Lila smiling and thriving. On the other, the protective big brother in him couldn't help but worry. Jude seemed like a decent guy, but the world of professional sports could be brutal, especially when it came to relationships.

As he continued scrolling, a comment caught his eye. Nicole Scherzinger had left a supportive message on one of Lila's recent posts. Lewis felt a twinge in his chest - a mixture of nostalgia and lingering affection. Despite their breakup, Nicole had always been kind to Lila. It was one of the many things he had loved about her.

Shaking off thoughts of his ex, Lewis's attention shifted to the flood of posts about Lila's new role as Versace's ambassador. Pride swelled in his chest as he saw images of his little sister looking confident and radiant in Versace designs. But that pride was tinged with a hint of hurt. How had he not known about this beforehand? He made a mental note to call her later to congratulate her properly and maybe gently probe about why she'd kept it a secret.

Lewis was so engrossed in his thoughts and the social media storm surrounding Lila that he almost missed the sound of footsteps. Looking up, he saw a woman walk into the kitchen, wrapped in nothing but a bed sheet. Her long dark hair was tousled, and her tawny skin glowed in the morning light. It was Amara, an Afro-Cuban model he'd been casually seeing since the new year.

"Morning," she said with a sleepy smile. "I hope you don't mind I stayed."

Lewis shook his head, offering a small smile. "No, it's fine. Coffee?"

As he prepared a cup for Amara, Lewis's mind wandered to the upcoming fundraising dinner at Emma Grede's home for the Fifteen Percent Pledge. He was looking forward to supporting such an important cause, but couldn't shake the feeling that his personal life was becoming increasingly complicated.

He thought about Lila and her budding relationship with Jude, about Nicole and their past, about Amara and their undefined present. Was he ready to settle down? Did he even want to? Or was he content with the casual arrangements that seemed to fit his nomadic, high-pressure lifestyle?

With a deep breath, he pushed those thoughts aside. Right now, he had a guest to attend to and a busy day ahead. He had to prepare for the fundraiser, make some calls about upcoming races, and somehow find time to reach out to Lila.

"So," Amara's voice broke through his reverie. "Any plans for today?"

Lewis turned to her, grateful for the distraction from his swirling thoughts. "Actually, I've got a fundraiser tonight. For the Fifteen Percent Pledge. You know about it?"

As he explained the organization's mission to Amara, Lewis felt a sense of purpose settle over him. Whatever complications existed in his personal life, he knew he could always find meaning in using his platform for good.

"That sounds exciting," she said as she took a sip of her coffee. Amara glanced at him over the rim of her mug and gave him a wink, and he smiled.

Amara, even though she was a model and influencer by trade, he couldn't deny how comfortable he felt around her. The casualness of their relationship was good for him and his busy schedule; he never had to commit or do things way out of his reach.

Lewis appreciated the simplicity of what he and Amara had. There were no expectations of romantic getaways, no pressure to attend family gatherings or red carpet events together. He could focus on his racing career, his investments, his production company, and his fashion endeavors without the added complexity of a traditional relationship.

Yet, as he watched Amara move around his kitchen with the ease of familiarity, he couldn't ignore the twinge of loneliness that sometimes crept in. Seeing his younger siblings and friends navigate successful relationships made him wonder if he was missing out on something.

His thoughts drifted back to his ex, not because he wanted her back, but because he missed the depth of connection they once shared. The fleeting endorphin rush of one-night stands had lost its appeal, leaving him craving something more substantial.

Could Amara be the answer? Lewis wasn't certain, but he kept her around for a reason. She was discreet, intelligent, and shared his values. Their pillow talk often revolved around their similar backgrounds - both raised by strong single mothers, both understanding the importance of family support.

He wondered if Lila would approve of Amara, if she'd see her as a good fit for him. The thought of introducing Amara to his family crossed his mind, but he quickly dismissed it. Was he ready for that step? More importantly, was Amara?

Their relationship existed in a comfortable gray area, undefined yet meaningful. Lewis found himself curious about Amara's thoughts on their arrangement. Did she want more? Was she content with things as they were?

As he watched her, Lewis realized that only time would tell if this could evolve into something deeper. For now, he was grateful for the balance Amara brought to his life - a touch of warmth and companionship amidst the whirlwind of his career.

Lewis cleared his throat, a hint of playfulness in his voice. "So, I've got this race coming up in Barcelona..."

Amara raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"Mhm," Lewis nodded, a slight smirk playing on his lips. "And who knows? Will be nice to have a certain person also there...."

"Lewis," Amara interrupted, her tone amused but firm. "Are you trying to invite me to your race in Barcelona?"

He chuckled, caught out. "Maybe. What do you think?"

Amara shook her head, smiling. "Just be direct, Lewis. It suits you better."

"Alright, alright," he conceded. "Would you like to come to Barcelona for my race?"

Amara tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well, I have a fitting and some meetings in Paris, but... I could probably make it work. When's the race?"

Lewis told her the date, and Amara nodded. "I'll see what I can do to rearrange things."

"Great," Lewis replied, trying to keep his tone casual. "I'll have my team book your flight then."

"Okay," Amara said with a teasing nod, mimicking his casual tone.

Lewis mockingly rolled his eyes, earning a chuckle from Amara.

"Now," she said, leaning against the kitchen counter, "are you going to make me breakfast, or do I have to fend for myself in this fancy kitchen of yours?"

Lewis grinned, already moving towards the fridge. "I suppose I could whip something up. Any requests?"

"Bacon and eggs will be nice," she began to joke but quickly noted his scowl, "or avocado toast."

His frown turned into a pleased grin. "Good girl. Thought I had to kick you out with that one."

"Never," Amara kissed her teeth at his thinly veiled threat. "You like this pussy too much to do all of that." She shook her hips seductively for added effect and he didn't waste any time wrapping his sweaty limbs around her body. "Ew! You stink, Lewis!"

"Let's go clean me off then," he murmured temptingly against her skin as he placed her mug on the island's counter. Lewis then led her to the bathroom.

"What about breakfast? I'm hungry!" she complained, pouting like a petulant child.

"I'll feed you this dick, baby; you'll be fine."

TO BE CONTINUED.....

[kraviolis]

i told y’all. i told y’all i was gonna go crazy over this post made by @gummy-goat-galaxy​

full disclosure i drew literally all of this before looking into the details of the AU so this is 70% my interpretation of his original post but i need to explain my thought process so. here’s the post explaining the details of the actual AU!!! and below is what my brain made up on the spot

ok so belos finds tiny child luz and is like “fuck everyone. this is mine now” and treats her like a goddamn princess. to him, she is a Gift From God to remind him to stay on his Righteous Path. an innocent little girl who is just so bubbly and always tries to see the good in everything, including him. she is a reminder of how Pure and Good humanity is, and seeing as though she’s the literal only human he’s had any contact with besides caleb in 400 fucking years, he is never letting the demon realm corrupt her like it did to him.

she’s basically his Lamb and he the Shepherd, and because he’s so desperate to keep her “““pure”““ he strictly keeps her within the castle and even then not all of the castle is available to her. he keeps her contact with witches to an absolute bare minimum.

he entrusts her protection specifically to hunter, despite the fact he’s only 2 years older. his reasoning is “caleb did a pretty good job raising me so this’ll be fine probably.” when belos himself cannot keep an eye on her, it’s hunter’s job. luz and hunter end up being raised in a sorta similar situation to catra & adora from she-ra but they are actually siblings and not just best friends.

(if u havent seen she-ra, basically its their abusive caretaker creating a golden child + scapegoat dynamic, where one kid can do absolutely no wrong (which doesnt mean they cant still be abused/manipulated!!) while the other kid is blamed for literally everything that goes wrong. the caretaker also regularly pits them against each other to encourage competition & keep the all power in the caretaker’s hands.)

similar to catra & adora, the whole competition thing doesnt really work. luz is just too damn kind and too damn good for hunter to ever resent her, and she’s all he really has. because hunter is the scapegoat, he grows wise to belos’s manipulations WAY sooner. it’s easier to figure out when you’re being mistreated when you literally watch ur guardian treating ur sibling so much better than how they treat u.

unfortunately, because luz cannot help but see the good in absolutely everyone and can be empathetic to a fault, she doesnt realize belos’s game until she ends up sneaking out of the castle. she actually really loves belos and is thankful for him taking her in for a long time. she calls him uncle like hunter, despite belos nudging her towards seeing him as a father bcus he sees her as a pseudo-daughter. (but luz remembers her dad, and has no desire to replace him with someone else no matter how much she cares for belos)

belos does love & adore luz, he would do almost anything to keep her happy and “innocent” and “pure”, but not to the extent that he could still end up redeemed. he still manipulates & subtly emotionally abuses her to keep her in line, but it’s only when she sneaks out and meets eda the owl lady does she start getting clued into this. and once luz learns what belos has done to hunter it’s all fucking over.

hunter loves luz. she is his sister and always will be. but while he’s stuck to belos because of his duties as golden guard, she sees how green the grass is on the other side and doesn’t even hesitate to hop over there. watching her slowly grow more and more distant while she keeps sneaking out to visit with her new friends (eda, king, willow, gus, amity, etc.) is one of the most painful things hunter has had to deal with.

he feels betrayed at first, as if luz is replacing him with other people who arent broken like he is, and when luz actually leaves for good- belos lies to the public and says she was kidnapped- hunter is the one who leads the hunt to find her and bring her back home safely. when they confront each other, luz tries to do her whole dramatic speech about how wrong belos is and how he’s been lying their whole lives, but hunter already knows. the only reason he stayed was for luz, but she couldnt even stay from him? it fuckin hurts man.

they end up on opposite sides for a minute. hunter gains no satisfaction from trying to ruin this new life she’s found for herself but goddamnit, he has a job to do. he cant just defect. and then he defects after watching belos try to kill luz because she’s let herself become corrupted by the witches.

thats about all my brain got for this so far. TL;DR basically just listen to the “first time in forever” and “mother knows best reprise” and “broken crown” by mumford & sons and thats pretty much the gist of it.

[gloryofdawn]

Pretty much everybody on Tumblr seems to look at Garrus and be like, "Hm, yes, the optimal love interest." And that's fair! Garrus is great. Date him if you want.

But goddamn, have I just always had brainrot for Shepard and Garrus platonically. Their dynamic is just so flawless. I have never believed a game more when it has told me "These two people are best friends." They are the most found family siblings I've ever seen.

Every party member in Mass Effect 1 (who lives) goes on to achieve greatness above and beyond pretty much any party member introduced in subsequent games (except that I do specifically think the human party members are outstripped by Mordin), but you get to watch it happen with Garrus and Tali because they never leave you. Garrus starts off as "That loose cannon cop who signed on to help get Saren." After Shepard dies, he decides he's just going to casually end organized crime and is alarmingly successful. When Shepard shows up again, Garrus' reaction is to fucking shoot them and then joke about it when they finally make it to him. Shepard deflects Garrus' near death experience by calling him ugly. During his loyalty mission, you have the opportunity to have some absolutely raw conversations with him about ethics and morality that you don't really ever see with another companion except Jack, and she basically completely ignores everything you say until you see her in 3. With Garrus, he'll resist what you're saying, but you can see him trying to find the line between justice and revenge, law and chaos. If you put him in charge of the second team during the suicide mission, you can see how much he's grown with you as he effortlessly coordinates his team with yours. And all that is just in Mass Effect 2.

Once you get to 3, you really start seeing it. Garrus has made his way up in the Hierarchy and is leading their efforts against the Reapers, just like Shepard. When you ask him about it, he immediately starts talking about it as the shared work you've had since the first game. No other companion identifies themselves with you through this struggle. Sure, other companions will mention the previous games and what you did with them, but there's always something else. Liara is the Shadow Broker now. Tali has the Geth to worry about. The Virmire Survivor is bound up in the Alliance and becoming a Spectre. Wrex has the Krogan. But Garrus? Garrus is here with you. He's standing right next to you, giving the Reapers his full attention. And as you go throughout the game, he's consistently the one there for you. When you're struggling to get the Council Races to work together, he's there. When things go tits up on Thessia, he's there. Even you're going into the final run, he's there. When the two of you die, if Turian heaven is the same as human heaven, he'll meet you at the bar.

There is no Vakarian without Shepard. There is no Shepard without Vakarian. These two soldiers are bound together with blood, sweat, and the sheer Terminator-grade determination to save the galaxy, no matter how much it kicks and screams. There is no fire they won't jump into for the other one, and they'll make fun of each other the whole way. There's no other relationship like it.

I'm Glory of Dawn, and this is my favorite platonic ship on the Citadel.

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

let's be more positive about books for a while! here are some queer historical romance novels that i've been rereading recently that i think do something interesting with making characters feel historical in their mindset and worldview, but are also fairly progressive, diverse queer books that are, frankly, a delight to read

this is by no means exhaustive and to be honest i could put almost anything by cat sebastian or kj charles on a list like this so this is purely the highlights of what i've reread in the past week to take my mind off work, and why i think they're interesting from this specific angle

cat sebastian, the ruin of a rake (turners #3)

this is technically the third in a trilogy but they're only very loosely connected, so you don't need to have read the others if you don't care about knowing who all the background characters are. the others are also good though

why it's interesting: features a character who has had to painstakingly study and learn the rules of polite society in order to claw his way up to respectability, and is now deploying those skills to help another man repair his reputation. shows the complexity of those rules, the social purposes they serve, and the work that goes into living by them, as well as the consequences of breaking them. also explores some of the financial side of aristocracy, and features a character with chronic illness (recurring malaria following repeated infections as a child in india) whose feelings about his illness are very relatable without feeling overly modern.

kj charles, society of gentlemen series.

this trilogy is closely related plot-wise and best read in order. all three explore cross-class romances and characters struggling to reconcile their political views and personal ethics with their desires, in the aftermath of the peterloo massacre, with a strong focus on the political role of the written word. first book is long-lost gentleman raised by seditionists / fashion-minded dandy teaching him to behave in society; second book is tory nobleman submissive / seditious pamphleteer dominant who've been fucking for a year without knowing the other's identity; third book is lord / valet and all the complicated dynamics of consent there with a generous side-helping of crime.

why they're interesting: close attention to the history of political printing and the impact of government censorship and repressive taxes on the freedom of the press; complex ideological disagreements that aren't handwaved as unimportant; examination of trust, consent, and social responsibility across class differences and in situations with problematic power dynamics; most of the characters are progressive for their time without feeling like they have modern attitudes. the second book, a seditious affair, deals most strongly with the revolutionary politics side of things, but all tackle it to some extent.

kj charles, band sinister.

look i'm probably biased because this might be my favourite KJC. it's a standalone about a pair of siblings: the sister wrote a gothic novel heavily inspired by their mysterious and scandalous neighbour whose older brother had an affair with their mum (causing scandal); the brother is a classics nerd. the sister breaks her leg on a ride through their neighbour's estate and can't be moved until she heals so they both have to stay at the house and find out if the neighbour is really as scandalous as he seems.

why it's interesting: discussion of atheism and new ideas about science and creation (very shocking to the brother, who is the viewpoint character); details of agriculture and estate management via main LI's attempt to grow sugar beet, as well as the economics of sugar (including references to slavery); "unexpurgated" latin and greek classics as queer reference points for a character who nevertheless hasn't quite figured out he's queer; material consequences of society scandal

bonus: wonderful sibling dynamic and a diverse cast including a portugese jewish character, which i don't think i've seen in a book before

i will add to this list as i continue to reread both of their backlists! (bc i have read them all enough times and in close enough succession that they blur together in my head unless i've read them very recently)

[annoyinglandmagazine]

First Time Reading Girl Genius Novels!

Airship City just arrived!!!! So just to clarify, I have read and am entirely up to date on the webcomic so don’t worry about spoiling anything! I’m also only really reacting to things that stick out to me while I’m reading the novels specifically, I already know the story. So without further ado let’s get into it:

Heterodyne Boys content! Hell yes!

Bill silently cleaning his weapons while Barry worries about him is so wholesome and sad at the same time. It is a tragedy that we never really get to see much of this sibling dynamic because it seems really sweet.

The thumbs up signal too, just a little snapshot of how they were before all this.

Damn the Other is terrifying, just picking all the main players off one by one until no one’s even being accused anymore because it’s so clearly something on another level.

‘It was the most Bill had spoken this week.’ This is just too depressing

It’s kind of weird to be reminded that the Heterodynes did actually win against the Other; the end to their story is just so far from triumphant it feels like a loss.

Actual descriptions of the way the locket and the Spark impacts Agatha’s mind!

The atmosphere of Beetleburg is really fleshed out which is nice.

‘Jägermonsters found everything amusing. Except when people tried to beg for mercy. That they found downright hilarious.’ Ha!

The implications that ordinary household appliances have kill modes installed that are only activated in the presence of a strong Mechanicsburg accent should surprise me more than it does

There is so much irony in Agatha hiding the fact she reads Heterodyne Boy novels from her adoptive parents Punch and Judy.

‘If a mad scientist wasn’t at war with at least two of his neighbours it was because he had his back to the sea and even then he had to watch out for an invasion of intelligent sea urchins.’ Europa really is just Like That

The fact the Heterodynes represented hope to the average people because they actually tried gives me so many emotions

Moloch’s narration is a lot more sympathetic than he comes across in the comic at the start.

The general populace automatically getting worried at Sparky tones even with no context is a nice touch

Jägers and their terrible pick up lines make a first appearance

Beetle was really very sweet to Agatha and meant well which I tend to forget because of the whole Hive Engine first impression

‘Glassvitch’s specialty was chemical engineering which minimised his experience with hysterically sobbing young ladies.’

Something, something, “science is better than emotions or people” is both extremely autistic and a very common take in Girl Genius which I love.

Klaus’ backstory is once again so depressing.

Also the fact no one took him seriously because he was an adventurer who let Bill and Barry take the spotlight and then he just came back out of nowhere, challenged anyone to try and take him on and ended up taking over a significant part of the continent, is kind of badass.

Oh Agatha, assassination attempts since he was revealed are nothing in the wide array of shit going on to make Gil the way he is; that is so far from the problem that to call it the tip of the iceberg would be assigning it too much importance

Boris being known and feared almost as much as the Baron, hell yes, that long suffering man deserves respect for his efforts.

‘He clutched the fishbowl to his chest protectively’ Gil, I love you

Klaus swinging an arm around Gil’s shoulder and patting it while smiling and calling him his son non critically might be the most affection we’ve ever seen him express.

Why do I feel like this is peak healthiness for their relationship, the bar is in the fucking basement

Klaus and Gil ‘eyed each other, as if each were embarrassed at the thought of speaking first. Finally the Baron cleared his throat and said, “Yes, Gil, what do you think of that?”

The description makes that already hilarious interaction so much better. Their whole role in this confrontation reads as second hand embarrassment at the poor planning of their enemies and awkwardness at being remotely associated with this disaster of an coup

‘Klaus looked disgusted’ yep that’s definitely it.

The Wulfenbach Empire understanding that most Sparks really only want praise, a space to work, something to challenge them and someone to make sure they eat is hilarious.

Worldbuilding in the form of universe specific bigotry is my jam. The way constructs get portrayed as comic relief in pop culture due to a culture of discrimination is ingenious. I also appreciate the touch that Klaus has strong and public opinions on this though I suppose it’s not that surprising considering he himself is one in some sense.

I think Lilith teaching music and dance is a new detail and it’s nice to flesh their lives out more, it fits what little we know about her really well.

They are such good parents and this is just adorable

That’s all for now, I’ll pick it up again later!