fernsproutxx

[fernsproutxx]

the Blasted Trio playing scrabble. don’t ask me how anya is managing but feel free to hedge your bets on who wins (if anyone)

jimblasted au belongs to @linkcharacter 💗

(roleswap au)

[fernsproutxx]

homly s hiiiit this isamazing………

signed. green curling…

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

And feed the curlings. Just like... imagine a plate of pancakes for us or something. 🥞

If you couldn’t see the mind bagel, why should this work? Fine. I’m imagining pancakes. Eat the fucking mind pancakes and leave me alone about the food.

[fernsproutxx]

how it feels to have no social media presence as an artist

[fernsproutxx]

obligatory readings

[fernsproutxx]

I've been crying the whole DAY. Look back is literally an ode to someone who loves to create, who works their ass off to improve at it and sometimes it just doesn't matter because they are still going to be people that will be better than you and then you think you don't love that much anyway, so why care to keep doing it at the end? You enjoy it better as an spectator, without all the trouble that comes with doing it yourself

Until you remember WHY you started loving in the first place, why despite the fact it takes time, it's stressful, makes you angry, makes you sad or even if people tells you that you should be doing something else... at the end, still makes you happy, still makes you find people who love the same thing as you and you made them happy too, still makes you feel that you can do something that comes from you and no one else can because it's You.

And if you worked so hard for it once, it was for a reason, and sometimes you just forget what it was, but doesn't mean it isn't there anymore. Because the past you, the now you and the future you, come from the same place and it deserves to be happy, and that's unique and it is something worth working for

[fernsproutxx]

watched 'look back' today

all i can say is that i love drawing.

[fernsproutxx]

[did i do the trend right]

[fernsproutxx]

hey man i wanted to apologize for having said such tremendous stupidity

“which of all”

…

the one in the last hour

“ok, apology accepted”

waow thanks for the reminder that i’m a shit person who only spews nonsense from my mouth, says rude things, and constantly swears to others

WHEN WILL THEY UNDERSTAND I DON’T DO IT ON PURPOSE AND THAT I’M JUST EXTREMELY STUPID

THIS IS WHY I DON’T MAKE FRIENDS I’VE TOLD THEM ABOUT THIS BEFORE I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS WHY I WANT TO [REDACTED] LMFAO

…

it's easier, but definitely lonelier, to back away and keep mostly to myself

less stress for all involved

shallower friendships, few confidants

i want to be close to people

i love people

but i hate who i am around them

just a moment ago realized that i fucked up by being very rude to a friend on accident and he proceeded to just stare at me in silence like bro maintaining eye contact isn’t gonna make it better i KNOW what i did was wrong but now you’re just making me feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable and less likely for me to address you and apologize

and also like fuck off because he’s stated multiple times that he doesn’t even care about apologies because he doesn’t forgive and never forgets bruh then why would i even bother in the first place if he’s just gonna be a bitch about it

“i want an apology but i don’t really care about it because you were rude and i will always remind you of it” okay girl fuck you stay upset hope your day gets worse like actually lmfao

i mean i genuinely get the sentiment of wanting others to feel an ounce of your own hurt but even i know that’s just plain toxicity and i don’t know about him but personally i’m trying to break off that bullshit habit

he’s not beating the walking red flag allegations fr ugh

[fernsproutxx]

just a moment ago realized that i fucked up by being very rude to a friend on accident and he proceeded to just stare at me in silence like bro maintaining eye contact isn’t gonna make it better i KNOW what i did was wrong but now you’re just making me feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable and less likely for me to address you and apologize

and also like fuck off because he’s stated multiple times that he doesn’t even care about apologies because he doesn’t forgive and never forgets bruh then why would i even bother in the first place if he’s just gonna be a bitch about it

“i want an apology but i don’t really care about it because you were rude and i will always remind you of it” okay girl fuck you stay upset hope your day gets worse like actually lmfao

i mean i genuinely get the sentiment of wanting others to feel an ounce of your own hurt but even i know that’s just plain toxicity and i don’t know about him but personally i’m trying to break off that bullshit habit

he’s not beating the walking red flag allegations fr ugh

[fernsproutxx]

tried getting my files this afternoon and my laptop couldn’t even recognize the tablet being plugged in oof

so, next step is taking it to a person that knows what they’re actually doing so they can recover all the documents sigh

WAIT FUCK DUDE I JUST REALIZED THAT ALL MY WIP PAGES OF THE “THAT UNIQUE PLACE” COMIC ARE INSIDE MY DEAD TABLET FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK—

AND MY ANIMATIONS TOO I’M—

[fernsproutxx]

"The good stuff"

[fernsproutxx]

dance under the moonlight.

[fernsproutxx]

I will NOT list my mental illnesses in my bio. find them out through the stuff I post on here like a normal person!!!

[fernsproutxx]

WAIT FUCK DUDE I JUST REALIZED THAT ALL MY WIP PAGES OF THE “THAT UNIQUE PLACE” COMIC ARE INSIDE MY DEAD TABLET FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK—

AND MY ANIMATIONS TOO I’M—

[fernsproutxx]

actually shouldn’t have eaten a Medium McTrio Grand Bacon Deluxe Triple with Big Fries and Extra Bacon

i want to throw up all of it right now

give it up for the binge eating trait from bpd yaaay…

end me please

[fernsproutxx]

nothing a Medium McTrio Grand Bacon Deluxe Triple with Big Fries and Extra Bacon can’t fix fr fr

okay, final news

my laptop is getting fixed atm so luckily that will get solved soon enough

but i am not getting a new tablet in the mean time

my dad can’t afford it so suddenly and he very much doesn’t shit money

understandably

really bummed about it though because not only is digital drawing my main medium which i dearly enjoy, but also that i very much need it for college (besides using it for practically everything on a daily basis)

regarding the now broken tablet; after i get my laptop back i’ll try and see if i can somehow recover the files by myself, which is what i care about the most tbh

so, what now¿

well, it means that there won’t be any art posts of mine for a while and i don’t know how long it will take until i can do so again

maybe i’ll do traditional sketches here and there, but fully finished drawings won’t happen (they weren’t that frequent before anyways lmao)

in the meantime, y’all will see me like this at every waking moment:

have a good one, and moral of the story; don’t put your iced tea bottle inside your backpack if you have electronics!! :’)

[fernsproutxx]

okay, final news

my laptop is getting fixed atm so luckily that will get solved soon enough

but i am not getting a new tablet in the mean time

my dad can’t afford it so suddenly and he very much doesn’t shit money

understandably

really bummed about it though because not only is digital drawing my main medium which i dearly enjoy, but also that i very much need it for college (besides using it for practically everything on a daily basis)

regarding the now broken tablet; after i get my laptop back i’ll try and see if i can somehow recover the files by myself, which is what i care about the most tbh

so, what now¿

well, it means that there won’t be any art posts of mine for a while and i don’t know how long it will take until i can do so again

maybe i’ll do traditional sketches here and there, but fully finished drawings won’t happen (they weren’t that frequent before anyways lmao)

in the meantime, y’all will see me like this at every waking moment:

have a good one, and moral of the story; don’t put your iced tea bottle inside your backpack if you have electronics!! :’)