#fuck yeah dr mccoy

[spinach-pine]

[frecklenog]

gender of the day is his old man cunt serve

[icarusredwings]

Finding home Au things that are canon (because I said so, and it's MY au so I can do whatever I want. Send me headcanons, and I'll approve them)

Gambit just got back from the void so he's just now meeting everyone. He looks a little different from how they remember since their gambit really was never a full team mate and rather then just some guy that helped Logan a couple of times. This being said hes meeting Rouge as a 35 year old linguistics teacher for a bunch of brats, flirting with her in the halls, trying to impress her all the time, etc. He wanted to have a cool class like how to use a Bo staff or tutor energy weilding kids but instead got stuck with sex ed. Because of this, he now makes a ton of jokes to Rouge about it (she's across the hall) but actually is really excited to start his cooking elective class this coming fall when he's considered a real team member.

Ororos heals click in the hall like they did when you were a kid and you could tell the principal is coming. She's almost always with a tea or a coffee, walkie talkie and keys jingling. She's very sweet but kids shit their pants if sent to Mrs. Munroes office, meanwhile Mr. Summers office is a nothing, just a lecture and a slap on the wrist. Aint no one actually scared of lasik because they know thw worst theyll get is community work for a couple of weeks but they ligit cry the second theyre sent to munroe's (especially if they know theyre guilty of a big prank or something)

The school gives out free hygiene products and depending on what you need you can special request it.

If students get too angry they are sent to Piotr's art room for art therapy. He surprisingly is very artistic and chill.

Forges shop class is working on a car with no weight limit and that can handle their heavy hitters (Colossus and Wolverine) both in the same car (most bust) as well as a car made from plastic recycling. They're working on it. Its only blown up once!!

Gambit makes breakfast for the staff and some students of they beg enough. He keeps bringing Rouge the first cup of coffee from the pot and has made her pancakes shaped like hearts multiple times. Watching her stab them and smother them make him... giggle helplessly.

Gambit🤝Watching their love intrests viscously stab and rip apart their meals with a boner wishing it was them🤝Wade

He's very respectful towards her, though and sometimes is a bit (COUGH a lot COUGH) of a kiss ass.

Hank's students have blown up the lab at least 4 times by now. One of those times was Wades fault for touching stuff he wasn't supposed to.

Kurt is very glad that Wade has taken over his Duel weaponry/swordsman class, so now he has time to start working out a pitch for a world's religion class+ sunday school. He still runs a fencing club, though.

Peter (quicksilver) has tried so many different positions, including music teacher of all different instruments. Now he just kinda lounges around in the game room and speed cleans the mansion after each day in like 2 minutes flat. Imagine being paid a full salary just for 2 minutes of work? And you get to live somewhere for free and play games all day? Fuck yeah.

Positions I've been thinking about:

Beast (Dr. Henry "Hank" McCoy) is the Vice-Principal, so he does orientation. He has multiple science classes, including biophysics, and has electives in philosophy and poetry.

Colossus (Piotr Rasputin) is an art teacher and handles art therapy

Gambit (Remy LeBeau) runs a sex-ed class and is hoping to soon get approved to run a cooking class next semester.

Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner) has a fencing elective as well as a religion class, sunday school, and sometimes helps Morph with drama/theater. (Ex duel weaponry instructor)

Rogue (Anna Marie) is a Linguistics teacher who drabbles in social science. “Diction and Linguistics, with Professor Rogue” She can teach just about any language, but russian/german/ french/ spanish and Japanese are her main ones. She's who you go to if you dont understand English and need help. Almost all foreign students have her.

Cyclops (Scott Summers) is the headmaster. He has classes in Geometry, has an elective for leadership and communications (PFFT) as well as being the schools mobility/disability specialist. He, of course, specializes more with children who have trouble with their eyesight.

Storm (Ororo Munroe) is the Headmistress. She has an Environmental Science and Political Science class as well as a multi cultural elective.

Shadowcat (Katherine "Kitty" Pryde) has a comp-sci class and runs an ethics class.

“Ethics 101: Forgetting Everything You Ever Learned From Emma Frost, with Professor Pryde.”

Wolverine (Logan Howlett) is a(n occasional hand to hand combat/ martial arts) PE instructor. (Ex History teacher)

Jubilee is the schools event organizer, event coordinator, event manager, and more broadly, event professional, the ‘hip’ school counselor. "Activities Director & Counselor"

Morph is the director of drama acting and disguises (duh)

Laura is a graduating student In training under the Wolverine (Gabby is a student and is too young to be an understudy)

Yukio graduating student In training Under Storm or Rouge (I can't decide)

Negasonic teenage warhead (Ellie) graduating student In training under Jean Grey.

Mr. Wade Wilson (Deadpool) Is in training under Colossus. Duel weaponry/ swordsman tactics class instructor (plus whatever Logan's doing, he's very nosey and WILL cause issues if bored)

Jean Grey is an english teacher, has a class on psychology, and drabbles in physics.

Ice man (Bobby) is the school financal advisor/accountant and runs a business elective class.

Forge is a Shop teacher.

Quicksilver (Peter maximoff) Janitor, housekeeping, music teacher, replaced original Logan as PE teacher for a while, target practice, teaches fast kids how to avoid running into walls, always in the game room, stock/ errand boy, gets bored super quickly, sports instructor, Read almost all the books in the library, likes swimming, mainly just lays around waiting for something fun to do, his father causes trouble sometimes which he thinks is entertaining but also hella embaressing.

I'm unfortunately left without a history teacher, so shoot me any ideas :)

[t0ast-ghost]

“Since the Cerritos is statistically the horniest and least romantically committed crew in Starfleet, we have no married officers aboard.”

- Lower Decks S4 EP6

First off if this is referring to just their current time period then yes I’d probably agree BUT since it’s a show and I think the creators were making a clever nod towards other shows I’d like to point out some things

This’ll get long. (Spoilers for TOS, TNG, DS9, & SNW)

TOS:

Both Spock and McCoy are divorced (McCoy twice over)

Whatever was going on between Spock and Chapel ???

Kirk is apparently too committed to the enterprise (yeah definitely the ship… nobod-nothing else) to commit to any of the women that he has definitely fucked

Kirk didn’t commit to Carol Marcus and she had his son

The Shore Leave episode

Theodore Sturgeon’s letter about the Shore Leave episode

Episodes with “Paradise” in their name

Must I bring up Amok Time?

Half the crew is just in love with the ship and all their relationships fail. The one time someone tries to get married their spouse dies

TNG:

Jean Luc is happy as is … Q however

Q is the horniest motherfucker for that frenchman and I’m counting him

Riker

Beverly with the ghost

Oh yeah Jean Luc literally kills two spouses (Crusher and Sisko) he’s actively uncommitting the romantics

The show’s SECOND EPISODE is where everyone gets super horny and fucks each other

Even the ��emotionless” android gets some (I cannot blame Tasha one bit, Godspeed)

That’s all I remember from this show

DS9:

JADZIA DAX MY QUEEN

Julian Bashir’s original name was Dr. Amoros. He is doctor dick.

Lwuxana Troi wants Odo so bad but that goop ain’t committing

Whatever is going on between Odo and Quark

Need I mention Garak?

Mirror universe (Kira is about to kiss herself)

Almost every character is dating each other in this show and they made it canon for several but they all fall apart (Except Rom and Leela cause they’re perfect)

The O’Brien polycule… I drew it out but it got more complicated than the O’Briens (basically Julian is best friends with Miles who is married to Keiko. Keiko was on a shuttle while pregnant with Julian and Kira when there was a crash and Julian had to transfer the child from Keiko into either him or Kira, so Kira volunteered. She ends up living with the O’Brien’s while carrying the child and bonds with both of them (to the point both she and Miles think it’s weird). Kira eventually gets with Odo who is Quark’s nemesis and Quark is crushing on Jadzia who is exes with Julian who is (somewhat unknowingly) courting Garak. Jadzia Dax becomes married to Worf but I think her and Sisko have definitely fucked. Sisko is married to Kasidy and enemies with Gul Dukat who reciprocates that but is also fixated on Kira who hates him. Did I miss something?)

Now, I bet they did not count DS9 in their statistics because it’s a station not a ship but also because they’d always win this contest

SNW:

Spock and T’Pring

Spock and Chapel

Spock and Kirk

Other Kirk and La’an

Kirk and Carol ???

(All of them fail that’s why I bring it up)

Pelia has been married to another woman (not canon but it’s gotta have happened, right?)

Whatever was going on between Una and Neera in the court episode

There’s no way Uhura’s in a relationship (they might set her up with Scotty next season but I’d like to see her and Chapel)

The others do not seem romantically committed to other people

Pike’s weird dinner parties

To be honest Lower Decks is maybe the most outright vulgar in its language but most of the time it’s a feel good show about a bunch of best friends. Their captain is married, their CMO and head security officer are in a (happy?) relationship, and third thing here.

I haven’t seen any of Voyager or Enterprise and I don’t think Discovery is that horny/romantically uncommitted

[electronickingdomfox]

"Bloodthirst" review

It's Resident Evil, but the zombies are vampires!!

Novel from 1987, by J. M. Dillard. Kind of a retread of her previous novel ("Demons"), but substituting demonic possesion with vampires. Of course, there's nothing supernatural going on, but a scientific explanation behind everything. I found it less scary than the previous entry, though it's in the same spirit of horror story, this time with a political background as well.

The initial setting is intriguing, even though it's fairly obvious what's going on and who are the villains, from the earliest chapters. The ending is also exciting, and reminded me of an actual TOS episode. The problem is the rest of the novel, and by that I mean like 90%. I had the impression of reading chapter after chapter of barely anything but filler. Kirk does little more than talking through the terminal with this or that. McCoy does little more than telling Kirk "they're close to find a vaccine" and fretting over Chapel's sickness. Spock does... nothing, really. The fact that the story was extended artificially to a breaking point is obvious by the fact it takes the crew SEVERAL DAYS to find an intruder in the ship (an intruder who wears a red cape, is sick and insane, and screams in pain every time light touches him). This with a crew of more than 400 persons, and with the full security team activated at all times (what the hell!?).

To add more padding to it, there are lengthy scenes focused on a group of redshirts. Now I don't have a problem with original characters having their spotlight if they're interesting and play some role. But these guys just reflect about their High School dramas, and they don't have a distinct role compared to any other redshirt: that is, being attacked and suffer a lot. The other characters are a mixed bag. The most interesting is probably Adams, the "vampire", and the passages that follow his sinister deeds are the only ones that keep the plot moving, in that stale middle section. Kirk is serviceable. In particular his friendship with Admiral Quince felt like the real thing. And he gets to do some of his cunning negotiations at the end. McCoy on the other hand... Look, this author makes him funny on occassion, but in my opinion, she has a REALLY odd idea of the character. From the "dirty old man" trait, to his clumsiness and cowardice. The guy who would offer himself for torture in "The Empath" is here scared shitless at the prospect of it (well, he's scared of dark corridors too, so...). Fortunately, there's no Mary Sue on sight this time. Unfortunately, there's still the obligatory romance "out-of-left-field" for McCoy, that this author seems so fond of. This time in the shape of... Christine Chapel??? We're suppossed to believe that she's not just the closest person to McCoy (closer even than Kirk!), but that all this time, they've been repressing romantic feelings for each other. And that Chapel isn't really attracted to Spock, but only chose him because he'd never return her feelings... Yeah, weeell, how about... NO.

Other random weird bits: Nobody knows what a vampire is in the 23rd century (only Chekov has heard about this legend, that had survived for hundreds of years so far). And a crippled Enterprise can only manage to go at warp 9! (c'mon Scotty, I'm sure you can do better than this shitty, fast-as-fuck warp 9 speed...). Spoilers under the cut:

The Enterprise receives a distress signal from a scientific station at planet Tanis, but upon beaming down, they just find a deserted lab, two dead scientists missing most of their blood, and a single survivor: Dr. Jeffrey Adams. Adams looks gaunt and is obviously suffering some kind of disease that makes light painful for him. He's brought to sickbay, and needs continous blood transfusions to survive. But when Kirk interrogates him, suspecting the scientists were doing illegal research on biowarfare, Adams says they were just working on agricultural projects and that the other two commited suicide. Nonetheless, the evidence at the station points to Adams as the murderer, and it seems he had drunk the blood of the victims too. The fact that Admiral Rodrigo Mendez, head of weapons research, is awfully interested in destroying any trace of the virus, and quickly bringing Adams to trial, makes it all the more suspicious. However, the landing party is unable to recover any sample of a virus at the station, and records had been destroyed, so the Enterprise starts travelling to the nearest starbase.

After being informed of this, Adams accuses Mendez of being the mastermind behind the virus development, and begs Kirk to not surrender him to Mendez, since the admiral wants to kill him. Kirk is unwilling to believe at first that Mendez, or any other top brass at Starfleet, would be involved in such deadly project. Besides, upon learning that one of the dead researchers was Mendez's son, he dismisses the admiral's behavior as natural resentment. Nonetheless, Kirk contacts his friend, Admiral Quince Waverleigh, at Starfleet HQ, to see if he can unearth some dirty laundry among the top brass.

Meanwhile, Adams attempts an escape from his isolation chamber at sickbay, and injures Chapel, drinking some blood from her head wound. Adams doesn't go far under the light. But Chapel has contracted the disease, which is contagious upon contact, and slowly slips into a coma. In the end, McCoy realizes that Chapel has died, and disconnects life support. And there's a lot of drama about this, but since the reader can probably guess where this is leading to, and what the solution will be, the scene doesn't have all that much impact. Apart from this, Spock has recovered some info from the fragmentary records at the station, that tell about a Vulcan researcher who had also died at an earlier point. This suggests that there was, in fact, two versions of the virus: a first one that was deadly to Vulcans (and thus, Romulans too), and the current mutation (probably accidental) which is deadly to humans. This deepens Spock's suspicions about Mendez, since he had lost his wife in a Romulan attack.

Once in the starbase, Adams is brought to a detention cell, which he promptly escapes again, this time more successfully. First, he attacks a guard and steals her red cape, to better protect himself from the light, as well as a device that blocks tricorder readings. After this, Adams kidnaps Lisa (a redshirt on shore leave), and forces her to ask for a beam up directly to her quarters in the Enterprise, where he also attacks her and drinks her blood. And then comes a loooong period where everyone is searching frantically for Adams throughout the ship. And yeah, he can block tricorders, but it's not like he's invisible or anything... He goes as far as entering sickbay and stealing transfusion equipment to draw more blood! (his next victim being Stanger, another redshirt).

For his part, Admiral Quince starts noticing strange things going around him, ever since he started investigating: sudden personnel transfers, tampering with his terminal, etc. He sends Kirk a quick anonymous message, to warn him that things are looking ugly. Yet Kirk is unable to reach him afterwards, and later is notified of Quince's sudden death in an "accident". This is the last straw that convinces Kirk of Mendez's guilt, alongside a small clique of corrupt admirals. So he decides to lure him to Tanis and catch him red-handed there, with a bluff: he tells him that Adams has been captured and has spilled the beans about the R-virus (the incriminating Romulan strain), and that they have found the evidence at Tanis.

At sickbay, Ensign Stanger wakes up from the dead after having been infected. And even though he shows some early signs of "vampirism", his good side wins in the end, and he's able to protect his friend Lisa and capture Adams (at long last!). McCoy has also developed an effective vaccine, that he administers to the whole crew and Chapel, who's also waking up from the dead (but strangely enough, much slower than Stanger?). The modus operandi of the virus is thus revealed: at first, it sends the host into apparent death (actually, hybernation) while it consumes the bloodstream's heme; once the host is depleted of heme, he wakes up and starts craving blood and infecting others. (But I don't know, as a bioweapon, it doesn't seem so effective to me...).

In the final chapters, Spock and McCoy beam down to Tanis and confront Mendez, who demands the samples of the R-virus (which they actually don't have). But just then, a transporter beam captures them and they appear in a Romulan ship. As it turns out, Adams had contacted the Romulans, promising them the samples of both virus in exchange for his freedom. Kirk forces Adams to cooperate by refusing to give him the cure, until he tells them where's the R-virus, so Adams confesses: the original R-virus had been hidden all this time inside a locket that he wore around his neck. The Romulan commander threatens Kirk, saying that he'll kill Spock and McCoy if he doesn't surrender Adams. Yet Kirk tries to negotiate with him and buy time, now that he has the only sample in his hands, though the Romulan doesn't agree to destroy the sample. However, Spock, McCoy and Mendez had managed to escape from their cells in the meantime. And after a run through the enemy ship stunning Romulans (with McCoy closing his eyes every time he has to shoot, the poor devil), they manage to lower the shields and beam themselves to the Enterprise, which promptly warps away. In the transporter room, Mendez makes a last, desperate attempt to escape with Adams and the sample. But Spock tricks him into confessing everything, and then Kirk informs him that he's been monitored, and now Starfleet knows everything about his involvement in the illegal research. In the epilogue, Kirk reflects about his lost friend Quince. And there's a moving scene where he receives a posthumous gift, with a last message from his friend, telling him to not feel guilt about his death.

Spirk Meter: 0/10*. Kirk and Spock barely exchange a couple of lines throughout the novel.

There isn't a lot either in other departments. Spock and McCoy don't seem to like each other much, though McCoy asks Spock for company while disconnecting Chapel from life support. Though it's hard to read that as Spock/McCoy, when it's evident that McCoy's full concern is for Chapel in this book. Maybe, maaaaybe, one could read some McKirk in the final scene, when McCoy drinks with Kirk in his quarters and comforts him about Quince's death. But at this point, that's like begging for crumbs.

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.

tagged: @bonez-artistry

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 2 episode 10

mccoy rants like an angry old man

mccoy thinks the vulcan salute is hard. loser

lets hang out with vulcans

fated return of the Bass Guitar of Narrative Tension

milf

vulcan ambassador is spocks dad :0 daddy issues here we come

does he not like spock or something

kinda weird that this is the first time weve gotten a tour of the ship in any way

spocks mom doesnt like that hes autistic

"explain the computer components" /ominous cello plays/

kirk keeps accidentally pressing the daddy issues button in spock

wait, im confused, is spock his surname or his first name? why would they call him mr spock, thats like calling mccoy dr leanord. but also why would his mom refer to him by his surname

spocks dad wanted him to go to vulcan college but he went to starfleet college instead

kirk kind of has some sexual tension with spocks mom. id entertain this if spirk wasnt so obvious

this is once again about the cold war

"youre only 102"

weird plastic pig mask

"this is not the council chamber of babel"

more goofy aliens

sarek is spocks surname?????? his first name is spock???????? this makes no sense!!!!

spock grew up with a fat teddy bear he cherished. mccoy loves this

formal wear on the enterprise is kinda dumb looking

Another Space Ship

spocks dad loves him <3

Space Ship Goes Fast

return of the stupid brandy bottle

Space Political Drama

what are delithium crystals

half of kirks job as captain is stopping pointless arguments

kirk is topless for no reason. thank you so much

kirks back in his dumb wrap shirt :T

the dude spocks dad argued with is dead, evidently from a vulcan technique of execution. obvious red herring is obvious

"vulcans do not approve of violence" YES THEY DO?????? YOU LITERALLY HAD A VIOLENT COURTSHIP RITUAL AT THE START OF THE SEASON??????? YOU ADVOCATED FOR MURDER ALL THOSE TIMES????????????

current theory is his mom did it

ok what the hell is the vulcan naming convention, spocks mom calls spocks dad sarek but shes mrs sarek and hes ambassador sarek so its clearly their surname but why would a wife call her husband her own last name that makes no sense

spocks dad has a vulcan heart attack

spock ur allowed to be worried abt ur dad its ok

spock ur looking suspiciously suspicious rn

Someone On The Ship Is Bad yeah we knew that

pretty sure spocks mom has gone through like three or four different costumes in this episode

spock has to donate A Lot of blood

Nevermind No He Doesnt

spock calls his dad sarek too. what the hell is the name sarek here

Nevermind Yes He Does Have To Donate Blood

kirk midriff spotted

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA KIRK JUST SLAMMED INTO A DUDE WITH HIS ASS

kirks shirt fully rode up his tummy for a bit there. huge fan

kirk passes out <3 night night babygirl

kirk is topless again. good

suddenly spock doesnt want to donate blood bc hes in charge now

spocks mom says Donate Blood Now spock says No Theres A Lot Going On

spocks mom commits a microaggression

spock says if i risk the ships safety to save my dad my dad surely would not approve

spock was bullied as a child :(

spocks mom just slapped him holy shit. thats not cool

kirk is awake but immobile

SPOCKS DAD IS AWAKE????? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE JUST PRETENDING TO DO ALL THIS. OR DID THE ACTOR JUST OPEN HIS EYES FOR A SEC

kirk returns to duty! yay?

the way kirk smiles at spock is kinda....

oh good they didnt forget that vulcan blood is green

night night spock, blood donation time idiot

Weve Been Hit

Weve Been Hit... 2!

Weve Been Hit.... 3!!

Weve Been Hit..... 4!!!

Weve Been Hit...... 5!!!!

Weve Been Hit....... 6!!!!!

Youre Not Even A Real Alien

the enterprise plays dead

get space zapped idiot

yeah this is 100% about the cold war

i do love kirk being exasperated

spocks dad is fine now

spock loves his dad <3

spocks dad married his wife for Logical Reasons i guess

get cared for kirk. idiot.

mccoy resents being seen happy

i love u mccoy

[tickletastic]

Let's Get Physical

Fandom: Star Trek AOS

Ship: N/A

Summary: For once, Bones is the chaotic one, and Jim doesn't like it one bit. Day thirteen of Miya and Mia’s Tickletober: prank call! Dedicated to @dreamthinkimagine, happy birthday darling! <33

Ding ding ding

Ding ding ding

Jim groans, throwing an arm over his face, suddenly believing self-suffocation via pillow to be in the cards. He took the pillow from next to him and threw it at his comms system, groaning when it caused the call to be picked up. 

“Jim, I know you can hear me, ya damn child,” Bones’ voice rings from around the room. Fuck surround sound, Jim thinks.

“Oh god,” Jim whines, “it’s like you’re inside of my head.”

“Kid, the bridge has been tryin’ to contact you for ages,” Bones replies, “you sleep like a rock.”

“What?” Jim is suddenly jumping off the bed, grabbing a shirt from the floor and pulling it on. He tumbles to the door, not even bothering to grab shoes, hoping and praying he doesn’t step on anything sharp.

He almost runs into a wall on his way there, screeching around the corner, skipping the elevator to the bridge in favour of dashing up the stairs. 

When he gets to the top, panting and red in the face, all eyes land on him, clad in a wine-stained t-shirt and a pair of boxers. 

“What’s going on?” Jim asks, out of breath, eyes flicking between Spock and Sulu.

“Nothing, Captain,” Spock reassures, tilting his head to the side, “I believe you are meant to be on rest from yesterday’s planetary visit.”

“I was, Mr. Spock,” Jim agrees, his face still red, but this time for other reasons. “I had been informed by Dr. McCoy that the bridge had been trying to contact me.”

“That is incorrect, Captain. I believe that Dr. McCoy may have been attempting to engage in what you humans would call a ‘prank’.”

“Damn right, Spock,” Bones exclaims from behind Jim, causing the blond to turn around with a jump.

“I’m going to kill you,” Jim says, glaring daggers through Bones, “I’m actually going to kill you, today will be the actual day of your death, Bones.”

“Actually no, Jim,” Bones says with a smirk, “today is the actual day of your physical.”

“Oh my fucking god,” Jim grunts “you did not wake me up on my morning off to give me a physical.”

“Thing is, kid," Bones pauses for dramatic effect, "I did.” Jim wishes he could wipe the smirk clean off of Bones’ face, wishes he could rewind time to being asleep in his quarters, and Bones just keeps talking and talking. “You were on some mysterious planet yesterday. You gotta get a checkup.”

Jim rolls his eyes, but makes a move to obediently follow Bones, a first for the stubborn captain. 

“Nice boxers!” Uhura shouts as the elevator door closes, leaving Jim and Bones alone inside.

“I’m going to kill you,” Jim grits, looking straight ahead.

“Oh c’mon, Jimmy boy, it was just a prank,” Bones reasons, poking Jim in the ribs.

Jim jumps away with a shriek, somehow looking even angrier when he recovers. “You’re done for.”

“Whatever you say, Jim, whatever you say,” Bones brushes off.

Jim continues to follow Bones obediently throughout the hallways, and, in hindsight, this should’ve been the first sign to Bones that he might actually be in trouble. 

Jim enters the medbay without a single quip or comment, obediently sitting in the chair next to Bones’ desk. Bones turns around to shut the door behind them, and when he turns back, Jim is right there, looming in front of him.

“One of us is getting a physical today, Bones, and it’s not me,” Jim says, a menacing grin starting to form on his face.

“Jim, it’s perfectly reasonable for me to give you a physical after you nearly got stranded on some strange planet,” Bones attempts to reason, backing up, his back hitting the wall.

“Oh yeah, Bones?” Jim asks, getting closer, “was it perfectly reasonable to wake me up on my morning off? To make me enter the bridge in my pajamas?”

“Well, I- wahahait, Jihihihihim!” Bones squeals when Jim goes directly for his hips, the door supporting his body weight as he tries to grab for Jim’s hands. “STAHAP!”

“I don’t think so, Bones,” Jim says calmly, “play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”

“Stuhuhuhpid gahahames? I’d sahahay hilahahrious!” Bones giggles, squirming and wiggling in an attempt to escape the space Jim has trapped him in.

“Hilarious? You want hilarious?”

Jim’s fingers speed down to Bones’ knees, squeezing over both of them at the same time, and Bones goes boneless, collapsing to the ground with Jim looming over to of him.

“JIHIHIM!” Bones screeches, kicking his legs, “STAHAP IHIHIT YOU BRAHAHAT!”

“Now I’m just confused, Bones. You wanted hilarious and you seem pretty hysterical to me right now, shouldn’t you be glad?”

Jim very rarely tickled Bones, he never had the energy to turn the tables during a session, and he turned to jello after one, so he never could get revenge on Bones. Bones had no idea that Jim was so good at teasing, and it made his nerves feel all the more sensitive, his face turning bright red the more Jim spoke.

Jim moved his hands up to Bones’ ribs, relishing in the way the doctor snorted and flailed, before deciding to deliver the worst of the tickles. One hand went back down to Bones’ knees, while the other shot up to his armpit, and Bones absolutely howled.

“JIHIM! FUHUHUCKIN STAHAHAP!” Bones shrieked, arching his back and desperately flailing. 

“Say you’re sorry,” Jim says, reprimanding Bones like an adult would a child. Just the way Jim says it makes him want to say no, makes him want to stick out his tongue in mockery. 

Instead, Bones finds himself quickly buckling, unable to handle the sensations. “I’M SOHORRY! IHIHIM SOHOHORRY! JIHIHIM!”

Jim slows to a stop, laughing as Bones desperately tries to catch his breath, panting against the door. 

“You- you’re a menace, kid,” Bones pants.

“Me?” Jim asks indignantly, “you’re the one that decided to wake me up on my morning off!”

Bones barks out a laugh, “okay, you got me on that one.”

Jim rolls his eyes, standing up and dusting himself off. Once Bones has caught his breath, he joins Jim, leaning against the door for stability.

“So,” Bones starts, and Jim raises an eyebrow, “physical?”

Jim just groans, hopping on to the examination table in front of them, already knowing he’d have to taste some of Bones’ revenge.

[positivelybeastly]

[I forgot you liked for a 'hug' in the inbox.]

When things fall apart for Hank, they fall apart spectacularly. Tess stands there with her hands in her pockets. There's a glint in her eyes, one quickly blinked away. (It's regret over--all of it, not pity, but she'll be damned if she lets Hank see her teary-eyed after the day he's had.) "Being a mutant sucks sometimes." The sardonic way she says it might not be tactful, but it is honest.

Yeah. Being a mutant fucking sucks sometimes, and it sucks for some mutants more than others.

After an awkward sort of shuffle and a bit of fidgeting with her pocketed hands, she opens her arms to him, the way she would for her nephew and nieces, or Rodney after his parents died. "C'mere."

"It'll be our secret."

It has been . . . a tiring, day.

First of all, he'd made the cardinal mistake of daring to go to sleep - he'd been without for three days now, and even with his cat-like metabolism, it was starting to affect him. Down had come the camp bed in the lab, KLICK had gone the reinforced feet, and FLUMP had gone Henry McCoy, right onto warm, soft sheets.

He had gotten approximately twenty three minutes of sleep before he had been woken up by Julian Keller and Quentin Quire having what could only be charitably described as a telekinetic slapfight. How, might you ask, had he been woken up by that, considering his lab was soundproofed?

Well, they had decided that their slapfight would go right through Hank's wall, of course.

Through a table of lab cultures and bacteriological experiments that had taken weeks to prepare, had been sitting there for a month being observed every day, twice a day, and now . . . now, the entire thing was going to have to be thrown out, started over again, and all of his current test results scrubbed because the group had been ruined.

Then had come the rest of the morning, and oh had it come for him without mercy. His attempts to get even a middling breakfast were completely stymied by the children having eaten them out of house and home, every single cupboard bare, save for three Hot Pockets that Hank refused to eat, with the distinct air of a man who would rather die than let them burn his mouth to a charcoal crisp.

So, he had elected to go out for food. A simple enough endeavour, one would have thought.

His favourite cafe was closed, so he had had to make do with a newer pop up little thing that sold coffee at too high a price and over-presented their food to make up for the fact that it was simply whelming. It had been - fine, up until he had noticed that the family three tables over kept shifting uncomfortably, their baby crying off and on again, which was just, actual nails on a chalkboard to a man like Hank McCoy.

Cue the server coming along to quietly inform him that he was making the family uncomfortable, that the baby wouldn't stop crying because it kept staring at him and becoming upset, that the mother understood, of course, that this was Dr. Henry McCoy, PhD, M.D, Avenger and X-Man and celebrity, but his eyes, you see, his eyes are just a little too -

So he had been turfed out of the little pop up cafe, resorting to eating his food on a park bench. Fine. Fine, this was the way of things, he would persevere.

The nearby apartment block had promptly exploded into a cacophony of flames, thanks to what was immediately obviously a gas leak. Down had gone the croissants, up had gone Hank, pulling people out through windows and bounding down to put them out of harm's way. He had done a fairly good job of clearing them all out, too, when the main gas supply had ruptured and sent him flying ass over tea kettle, right into a wall, and then -

Whomp.

Out cold.

The very first thought he'd had when he woke up was, well, at least I got the rest I wanted. The second thought was, are they really waking me up with a thrice damned fire hose?!

They were.

Up he had gotten, his fur singed and wet, his expression absolutely thunderous, and the fire chief had just patted him on the back, thanking him for his service before going right back to what he was doing. Hank had stomped back to the park bench, only to find - of course, that his food was gone. Pilfered, it seemed, by the local wildlife.

He had trudged back to the Institute, peeled out of his uniform, and gone to sit by the fireplace in his underwear and a robe, wrapped up tight and doing his best to make sure as little of his body was on show as possible. He didn't like showing skin - or, fur, rather - anymore.

He had made the cardinal mistake of glancing up at the mantelpiece, and staring at the picture of them, the photo portrait that had hung there for years. The Original Five, and Charles, of course. Sat around the Professor, all smiling, all happy. All so very.

Human. Looking.

He found himself, as he always did, staring at that boy.

That smug, insufferable, oh so clever, oh so verbose, oh so stupid boy. The boy that had thought himself a man, and set him down the path to all of this with so little thought, just a whim, just a touch of ego.

He hated that little bastard.

Before he even knew what he was doing, he'd slammed his paw into the photograph, and what had once been Hank McCoy's handsome features was reduced to a scrap of torn paper and glass, his face screwed up into an unrecognisable mess of gloss and fine wood backing.

It was only Tess' words that brought him out of his awful little reverie, and he blinked, looking at her. There was something in his eyes that was very small and very - very fragile, that couldn't quite become tears, even as the glass tinkled off of his knuckles.

". . . Yes. Yes, I . . . suppose it does . . ."

It says a lot about just the kind of day he's had that he doesn't even try and pretend like he doesn't need the hug, and he just, acquiesces. Curls around Tess like he might just fall apart if he doesn't have something, someone to hold on to.

It's a good thing his back is turned, away from the portrait. Tess gets to watch as the scraps of ruined gloss paper that had been Hank's sculpted jawline, his sharp cheeks, his intellectual brow, came away from the rest of the portrait and fell into the fire, where they curled, and melted, and died.

Instead, he has Tess.

And . . . this is one of those moments where that fact alone is more than enough to keep Hank going.

[couldntbedamned]

NGL one of the things in my writing I'm proudest of is how I managed to write Dr. Leonard McCoy, Jim Kirk, and Nurse Christine Chapel into Goodbye Grey Sky, Hello Blue and that it works perfectly.

Like yeah, of course they're here too, why wouldn't they be?

It brings me so much joy and I'm so fucking proud of myself for it. 😂

[spinach-pine]

"I'm doing you a favor. I couldn't leave you there looking all pathetic. Take a seat."

"Oh, I wish I didn't know you."

[subbyfoxelf]

[tv review] tos 2x08-2x14 (1967)

no dessert until you eat your play-doh.

2x08 “i, mudd”

this is absolutely a much better mudd episode than “mudd’s women,” but mudd episodes are just… not great episodes? i’m glad that they was so much better in discovery, and i’m sure his episodes will be great in strange new worlds if he ever shows up there as well. which is funny because i actually like the way he’s portrayed in tos a lot better than the way he’s portrayed in discovery? like, conniving con man who gets under the captain’s skin is way more star trekky to me than just… “straight-up a murderer.” but the episodes around him in tos are just… ugh.

i loved all the silly stuff kirk & co did to try to confuse the androids, though. definitely the highlight of either of tos’s mudd episodes. c-rank

2x09 “metamorphosis”

i don’t have a lot to say about this one? it’s just… kinda boring and lonely. cool that they introduced zefram cochrane for later shows (even enterprise) to do a much better job with, i guess. d-rank

2x10 “journey to babel”

this would be a landmark episode if only for introducing spock’s parents and two founding members of the federation (the andorians and tellerites). but it’s also got some of the most plentiful and in-your-face play-doh food of the series, an absolutely bonkers star trek fight, a murder investigation, dr. mccoy doing bullshit star trek medicine, a space battle… there’s kind of a lot going on in this episode! it really is one i always look forward to. i really think this kind of stuff is tos at its best. a-rank

2x11 “friday’s child”

… and this is tos at its worst. seriously, this is so boring. it’s just 45 minutes of nothing! and oh yeah, my abusive ex “ironically” loved mccoy slapping that one lady across the face and then her following him around all doe-eyed for the rest of the episode. so, you know. not exactly an association it’s easy to get out of my head, and not a pleasant one in the first place.

i’m not just docking it because of that, though. it was already extremely bad all on its own. d-rank

2x12 “the deadly years”

the best part of this episode is when they reuse footage from “balance of terror” to make it look like the enterprise is under attack by the romulans. c-rank

2x13 “obsession”

hey. hey. what if we did “the man trap” again, but like, kinda worse? like, not bad bad, but just kinda… ever so slightly worse? and added a whole thing where the monster of the week was just super in captain kirk’s head. and he takes it out on some poor hapless security guy. wouldn’t that be fun!!

… would it not? where are you going? c-rank

2x14 “wolf in the fold”

yeah, okay, it’s bad, but it’s still a star trek murder mystery, so it’s at least watchable!! seriously, though, jack the ripper is a disembodied psychic force of evil? and he sounds like that? go fuck yourself lmao. c-rank

[maeraevokaya]

~~~

TL; DR

I'm sorry, how is she "obsessed with her relationship with Spock"? Hmm? He's literally placing himself in risky and dangerous situations (in the comics, this is done multiple times, to the point where she tries to step in so he doesn't get himself killed). Nothing about her role is being "diminished". Her job isn't all that she is, and neither is her relationship. We literally have the fucking white boys doing a lot of action and whatnot, yet Uhura still gets a hand in that. We still see her do her fucking job, but the main focus is still the white boys.

Oh yeah, no...she's not "bickering" with him. He had PTSD, was not acting logically, leaping before he looked, and she tried multiple times to help him (again, in the comics). To pull him out of this dark place so he doesn't get killed. That STID scene was a change of tact and a last-ditch effort to shake him out of that headspace. You know? Meanwhile, Kirk and McCoy actually DO bicker with him, and no one bats an eyelid? Seriously?

And yes, when she did her fucking job by communicating with the Klingons and trying a bit of diplomacy IN THEIR OWN FUCKING LANGUAGE. She took that opportunity for diplomacy before The Bros went in all guns blazing. There was a chance that her task might not work, but she took that and still tried anyway. She did her job, you fuck knuckle.

Fuck off.

[t0ast-ghost]

S3 EP8 (For The World Is Hollow And I Have Touched The Sky) welp that’s the longest title in tos and this is a long post because I was not normal about this episode

Let’s get it started:

- Immediate red alert with Spock in charge

- You think they ever held hands?

- What’s got Chapel so upset? She’s most likely right about whatever it is

- The way he kind of yells and then lowers his voice and just says, “Please, Christine. I promise I’ll give the captain a full report.” He’s not actually mad at her and he knows she’s just looking out for him but he’s scared

- Bones can’t say that he’s the one who’s dying. He can’t admit it out loud. He says that the cmo has it (not even gonna try and spell the diseases name)

- “Without me, Jim? You’d never find your way back.” My heart- oh my heart. He doesn’t want to be cut away from the crew, let alone Jim and Spock.

- Spock is standing in the transporter room like, ‘What is going on?’

- This asteroid looks like the planet where Tasha dies to the goop in TNG

- I was looking at McCoy about to beat someone up and then it was violently revealed to be a stunt double… obviously

- McCoy was fairing pretty well in that fight until he looked at that lady

- Kirk not only fighting to get to an injured McCoy but begging (he’s using his words cause he cares about him sooo much)

- Normal! Normal thoughts and feelings 🙂

- Okay I know not very relevant to anything but I’m appreciating the stairs shot

- “You will kneel.” All three of them just go, ‘okay’

- Absolutely stunning wardrobe, makeup, and hair for the priestess though

- “THEN LEARN WHAT IT MEANS TO BE OUR ENEMY BEFORE YOU LEARN WHAT IT MEANS TO BE OUR FRIEND.” Get fucking zapped, idiots

- mhm mhm

- Good thing Kirk’s not a doctor (especially a therapist) cause this man is NOT confidential

- Kirk looks so sad. Holy shit .

- McCoy’s like sleeping beauty, cause he’s beautiful… and sleeping I guess

- MHM YEAH. So UHM SPOCK JUST- he just grabbed McCoy’s shoulder to help him up. Why does this have me blushing???

- “Well we’d better get to the control room.” Is this just the normal procedure? Find the control room -> blow shit up

- McCoy immediately tastes the random substance

- he’s dead. (Edit: NOT McCoy! The random guy)

- He CHOSE to sit in the sluttiest way possible. No wonder everyone wants him DAMN

- ‘Bones listen, you’ve got to seduce her. For the mission.’

- I- she loves his stunning blue eyes

- “Is there a woman for you?” He takes way too long to answer this. How do you explain that she just met your two boyfriends

- I love her. I don’t care. She’s so amazing. Like “Until I saw you there was nothing in my heart. It sustained my life, but nothing more. Now it sings. I could be happy to have that feeling for a day, a week, a month…a year.”

- Hiding behind a pillar works…

- Spock and Kirk listening to Natira asking the god if she can have McCoy as her mate and both of them look so ready to attack

- GET ZAPPED IDIOTS

- “for me” 🥺🥺🥺

- THE FUCKING HAND KISS

- “You’re returning with us.” “Dr. McCoy I order you to return with us.” Kirk knows this won’t work but he’s desperately clinging onto any last thing that could keep them together

- “Your decision is most illogical, Doctor.” “Is it, Mr Spock? Is it really?” IM SORRY THIS MOMENT?!? are we? are we not going to talk about this? There’s no real fight between them here. It’s Spock telling McCoy this is ‘illogical’ because he doesn’t want him to leave. And McCoy’s reply is calling Spock out, basically acknowledging that he knows what Spock is saying but also challenging him to find another reason for him to actually stay :(((((((((

- Kirk’s going to cry. That long look from McCoy looks like he’s going to cry. He’s going to cry. I’m going to cry.

- After the breakup :( Kirk is in silent hurt and Spock is pouting (he’s gonna listen to Logical by Olivia Rodrigo after this)

- WOW. McCoy wasn’t sure if they’d actually leave him. I think, if I may speculate, that McCoy was expecting rejection (as a doctor, crew member, friend even) because of his illness. Then Natira wants him, and as she states, she’ll have him for however long she can. Now, McCoy thinking that he’ll inevitably get pushed aside by the people he’s closest to is testing them. It’s a win- win situation for him, right? Either Spock and Kirk force him to go back with them, proving they won’t leave him, or he stays with Natira for the rest of his days. Ideal situation… but I don’t think he actually thought they’d leave him.

- congrats on the marriage I guess

- I like how McCoy is still in his starfleet uniform… no I do not, let him change clothes

- “Starfleet command will take care of the situation.” They’re gonna blow it up.

- “An urgent call from dr. McCoy, sir.” This is like after a break up texting, ‘you up?’

- McCoy stops answering the phone so Kirk and Spock immediately beam down to the planet they’re banned from to save him <3

- That was a fast divorce. This is the second time that they’ve helped each other divorce someone.

- THEYRE BEING PUT IN AN OVEN

- If McCoy and Natira went to an event together everyone there would fall in love with both of them immediately

- The chin tilt. He looks down and she tilts his chin back up. I love them both

- “Which indicates that the flow of oxygen to each cell of your body is back up to its abundantly energetic level.” Spock says this and is basically smiling in relief (you have to see it to believe it)

- Kirk is still in support of his boyfriend’s wife

Honestly 10/10 episode. Thank you so much for this one.

Masterpost

Episode written by Rik Vollaerts

[bcnes-archived]

"Yeah, I'm not sure about that," he mutters, raising a hand to his chin thoughtfully. "Kirk's gotten better about general environmental allergens," meaning McCoy can now send him off on away parties without him and not fear he's going to go into anaphylactic shock because he tried to pick a pretty flower, "but the majority of his reactions are too severe to safely build up an immunity. Continually fighting off an attack doesn't mean you're creating a resistance to it, necessarily."

He pauses at that, lost in thought, drumming his fingers against his arm in rapid succession. Like he's internally debating something before conceding. "Normally I'd hesitate to offer this to anyone but the patient I'm testing it on, but with so much overlap... and you're a doctor," he justifies more to himself than to Smith. "I'd damn well hope you know what you're doing with it. I've got some - let's say they're experimental treatments I've been developing for the last decade or so." After Kirk first got dragged into his sickbay with the charming revelation that he was allergic to the most common ( and effective, because of fucking course ) medications available. With time, and sheer stubborn desperation, McCoy has gone from 'finding a workaround and praying to god' to having put together something more uniquely effective than anything else he's worked with. If he ever gets off the damn ship maybe he can see about properly distributing the blend; for now, it's only used to treat one man in the whole of the fleet. Far from the first highly specific treatment he's been forced to create out there, but one of the most important ( to McCoy, certainly ).

"Your approach for dealing with pollens is fine, I can't imagine that's aggravating you too bad or they wouldn't let you down onto planets to begin with. Unless your captain's a complete idiot," he amends. "But if you'd like to give this a try for your more severe reactions, see if it helps..." at the very least it might decrease the frequency - and the severity of it, and its aftereffects - as well as it's helped Jim. He hasn't wound up down in sickbay for an allergic reaction in months; when he does come in contact with something severe ( or, god forbid, ingests something ) treatment is much quicker and far less intensive. He can't promise no nausea ( Spock complains about it often enough ) due to his genetics, but with slight adjustments that Dr. Smith would understand better than him, even that shouldn't be too much of an issue.

"I can arrange regular communications between the Enterprise and the Ohio, check in to see how you're handling it. Change things around as needed, maybe even develop something a little more tailored to your specific conditions, though I can't promise anything with my schedule being what it is out there. We'll call it a collaboration, if your captain will oblige. It sounds like they value your opinion, at least - good, I'm glad to hear it. As they damn well should. Starfleet would be fending off a lot less crises if those idiots in command would just consult a medical man every once in a while."

A smile curls onto the Klingon's lips as he listens - intently taking a mental note. Being roommates with Jim Kirk must've been an experience , and by the look on his face , one that had its ups and downs. But it couldn't have been that bad , if McCoy had stuck around for this long. Besides , he spoke of Captain Kirk with a fondness that even the feigned tone of annoyance couldn't cut through. ❛ Funny. That's exactly why I'm on the bridge most times , too. ❜ " Valuing his opinion " is one way to put it , but there's no easy way to explain Captain Pin's thought processes.

He nods , attempting to remember it off of the top of his head. ❛ I take an oral desloratadine for pollens whenever I go on planet , and then I have an anti - allergen I take regularly through hypo to try and alleviate some of the effects , if necessary. Try to slowly build up my immunities , if you will. ❜ It hasn't been helping nearly as much as he'd like , though.

[thebidoctors]

ok dumb thought but a young ! spones au where bones goes to visit vulcan and has a fling with spock but it has “why did it have to be me” by abba vibes

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 2 episode 19 (CW: firearms)

mccoy is a fucking nerd. lets look for Organisms

"quite like earth" looks like it too. wonder where they filmed it.

kirk is appalled to see that the aliens have reached the stone age

the fact that this episode is called "a private little war" makes me think that this gonna be about the cold war so heres my prediction: the soviets- i mean the klingons upgraded this alien society to be good at fighting and now the united states- i mean federation has to fight them and make them be nice

yeah kirk dont shoot the natives that have literally done nothing to you

/he throws a rock instead/

why do these guys have guns. who gave them guns. who am i kidding it was the klingons

obvious stage fall is hilarious

spock gets shot and all kirk can worry about is his space gun

aight bye

"his heart is where his liver should be" should be?? should be??? stfu mccoy

the klingons? noooo waaaayyyyyy

kirk is worried about his space boyfriend

whaaaaat you mean the klingons have interfered with a foreign society as a proxy to harm the federation without technically breaking their peace treaty?

cmon guys havent you learned the show structure by now. his intuition is always right all the time

"he'll live or die, jim" yes that is often the case

this is the kirk has anxiety episode

i want to gnaw on kirks neck like a dog toy. in like a sexy way

kirk? violating orders? wow

kirks got his tits AND his guns out. thank u star trek i love u star trek

kirk baps mccoys boob

space yeti jumpscare

space yeti evidently wants to gnaw on kirks neck as much as i do

its dead now

kirks been poisoned :(

"kirk is right about the people here" woah kirk was right? so weird how kirk was right

rare episode in which mccoy is the mvp

sexy murderess alien

this girl is brainwashing this dude into being horny for her i guess

kirks under a massive furry blanket. i want to be him rn. not poisoned and dying but under a massive furry blanket

hes so cozy

is this girl gonna brainwash kirk

were sexualizing kirk again

/slaps your boob/

this is straighter than straight sex

oh my god this is the horniest healing session ive ever fucking seen

kirks fine now

mccoy strokes kirks boob

"he is mine now" woah shes evil? crazy

through alien magic we can make malewives of you all

motif of domination in this episode. even in the b plot. normal tv show

this episode is extremely horny and extremely about the cold war in ways that are completely unrelated

"killing is stupid and useless" - dr leanord mccoy

metal gear solid ass stealth sequence

wow this is just like minecraft

pesky space ringtone, giving away our location

uh oh. methinks they just broke the treaty

they werent lying this war sure is private and little

spock demands nurse lady to hit him. weve covered 3/4 of the letters in bdsm. all thats left is bondage.

were teaching the aliens to shoot guns so they can fight the klingon-upgraded aliens. this could not be more about the cold war

THIS ISNT EVEN A METAPHOR ANYMORE KIRK IS DIRECTLY COMPARING THIS TO THE COLD WAR

i know that kirk is brainwashed because hes advocating for war

this isnt the first time kirks been brainwashed into being horny and im certain it wont be the last

dont break the bro code kirk

kirk broke the bro code :/

space yeti... 2!!

Helpless Woman Flailing

she took kirks space gun and shes not even using it right

star trek be normal about women please

Were All Fighting Now

literally just this image

lot of brown in this episode. pretty boring visual design

so. are you deciding not to arm the space proxy war, or are you just sad that you have to

thats it??? thats the episode?????

what was this even trying to say. i know its propaganda but what KIND