#fuck why do I have to be so sensible
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*deep breath*
self-mantra: just because the guy who has likely applied to adopt the rescue dog you're in love with looks like a fucking dumpster fire of a human being, does not mean you should throw an application in when it is still hugely impractical for you to do so.
repeat repeat repeat
(cry into your coffee and then repeat some more)
#fuck why do I have to be so sensible#it just ends up breaking my own heart#over and over#it's easier when I think there's someone else who can give the dog a better life#which this 'family guy' with teenage kids seemed a good candidate for#but a quick check of his socials says he's a homophobic climate-change-denying bigot#whose footy posts also make him seem likely to be a typical 'gets drunk and abusive after a footy match' Aussie male#suddenly the life he's gonna subject this Belgian Malinois to#is not looking so wholesome#damnit if this was just happening a few months later I'd be Ready#😭#I shouldn't have looked#I was trying to convince myself it was the right thing and I should be happy#but then the opposite happened#and now a dangerous part of my mind wants to convince me that it's A Sign
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being ace means i don't get giggly or horny about omegaverse aka abo but instead become painfully obsessed with details in anatomy and world building
#for one the whole abo dynamic thing in wolves is false#for another the animal kingdom is SO wild#like. female hyenas have pseudopenises and dominate males#seahorses and male birth#eating your children to avoid them being eaten by predators#males killing children to free females to mate#community child rearing!#females doing the hunting!#CLOWNFISH#omegaverse#abo#imagine if your secondary gender is determined by the social dynamics of where you grew into it#mostly female/child bearing? guess you get a penis now#do you think all alphas have piss kinks cuz of territory marking shit#anglerfish...octopodes that hand off their sperm sacks to females...#i know a strange amount of stuff about animal sexuality i just realized this#did you know some species dont have periods? they just reabsorb the uterine lining which is fucking amazing and im very mad humans dont#do that too#on the other hand. ive seen abo aus where male omegas give birth by LOSING ALL THEIR TEETH and VOMITING AN EGG#my main complaint is that abo doesnt get weird enough (plz not losing teeth and egg vomiting weird tho)#also can we PLEASE think a little more on the 'birthing from the ass' thing? please?#listen you have a right to mpreg (and trans men exist) but like. PLEASE. that baby should NOT be born thru the poop chute#ik some animals feed their babies poop (and human anatomy is like half an inch away from the birth canal being the poo canal) but COME ON#also why are all the scents like. very specific objects/concepts#flowers and idk blood?#frankly i think they would just be. animal smells but with enhanced human noses they'd be easily distinguishable#my headcanon is that they act like peacock tails do. meant to show off how cool you are#the biting thing happens in sharks (tho i think its cuz theyre kinda silly like that) but it just reminds me of people tattooing bite marks#and not cleaning the wound or yknow actually biting their partner in the tattoo parlor?#i get it. i'd love to be consumed by the void and a non recommendable amount of teeth. but can you be more sensible about it
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Why did I have to get super into a rarepair crossover ship this is so unfair I dont even GO to one of those fandoms!
#i know very little about the batfam and 90% of it is through tumblr osmosis#the other 10% is from the 2 batman movies i saw as a kid#danny phantom on the other hand i enjoy a lot so when you tell me that theres a dc batman character who was raised from the dead#nd that the number one ship for him is jazz fenton im like. color me intrigued#might have to read the wiki on this fellow at some point#dcxdp is a fun crossover tho i do wonder at some of the genre conventions that are developing in it#like why the fuck nightengale is such a popular alias for danny and or jazz like i know where it came from but also like#the fact that it does directly connect to the fenton name makes it a terrible alias come on guys be sensible#anyway i now know a lot more about jason todd than i did a week ago lmao#it did not take me long to go thru the 229 works in the anger management tag#crap#also actually number one is probably danny/jason which is also fun but not what i just tag dived
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the pics of morgan and joel are from travis sanheim's wedding this weekend!
^^^me experiencing the one-two knockout punch of “oh they WERE each other’s wedding date” followed by the realization that sanny finally got married 🥹😭 cheers indeed!!!
#have i ever told you all how i have the best anons in the world because i do. you’re all so nice to me and whenever i just. yell things#you come here and answer my questions and i love you for that thank you anon. i love you. 💕💕💕#also yes i KNOW i said finally and sanny’s like what twenty five however that is a) an old bachelor by most hockey standards b) he and alex#are high school sweethearts/been together forever and are disgustingly in love thank you they’ve been married in spirit if not reality#for years now. this has no bearing on my actual personal opinions on when you should or if you should be married or how long it should take#anyway. truly deeply madly obsessed with the joel/morgan of it all now because did they have to conform to a blue suit theme and if so#joelle why were u not wearing a belt. were all the flyers in blue suit uniform because that’s what our beautiful sensible sanny could trust#them to do &if so which ones were at the wedding i WILL be investigating post-haste. i have to update my tags 1st bc i’m the future me rn#who is currently dealing with them potentially being matching wedding dates & dunking my head in tinfoil to say morgan broke up with his gf#and ohhhhh if i don’t have a five weddings fic floating around SOMEWHERE for them. god knows i have the comment marriage fic AND fantastic!#liv in the replies#travis sanheim#<- in spirit i guess because it’s about his wedding so i felt like he should be included#philadelphia flyers#joel farabee#morgan frost#<- for my own sorting purposes#ANYWAY CONGRATS SANNY HAPPY MARRIAGE WE <3 U (do have to mention that i laugh so hard every time about that post calling him a rpf void i-)#also also bc i keep adding p.s. to this i was very pleased with myself to have flat fuck tk in the reply so that the travii were present 🫶
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a lot of the talk about Bushnell is reminding me of my "the "mentally ill" have their right to violence revoked" thing again
like. When you're deemed mentally ill, suddenly you must stress how you are more likely to be a victim of violence than a perpetrator to be deemed as human. Because any violence you commit, as a crazy person, is bad. It cannot carry rationale, because you are crazy. If I, as an autistic person, hit someone who was hurting me and got in legal trouble, I can be referred to as just "crazy" instead of as a victim responding to an aggressor. It's an underdiscussed area of dehumanization.
And that's before we talk about intersectionality, and before we talk about how this factors into the idea of ODD, and the "violent" responses patients have to doctors (including those who simply aren't white, and those forced on meds that hurt them, and those resisting sexual assault, and-).
But this is not just interpersonally political, it is political at scale. Black men were targeted by schizophrenia diagnoses during the Civil Rights era (and this is also around when schizophrenia became a "scary" illness). The crazy cannot have valid political criticisms, as a movement (remember that being "crazy" is a vector of oppression abd marginalization) or as individuals in other movements.
Ive seen both the sentiment of "oh Aaron is gonna be slandered as crazy" and exactly what the sentiment warns of- "we can't valorize suicide from the mentally ill". And the first isn't wrong, because society at large does view the "crazy" as lacking political agency, but it's lacking.
Bushnell had been trying very hard to get out of his military contract without being imprisoned at best, while witnessing genocide and knowing he was complicit. He may not have had clinical depression normally, but that would inspire a mental rational response of situational depression (and yes, mental health issues can be a rational response to horrible circumstances). Further, I know of instances of self immolation that WERE done by people who did have long standing mental health issues and were done to protest the treatment they'd experienced that caused them and that resulted from their existence. Mental illness and divergence from the norm is more complicated than just "these people are incapable of rationality, they are incapable of political thought, and they are incapable of agency".
#cipher talk#Aaron Bushnell#Ask to tag#Self immolation#Suicide tw#I'm thinking about how like. Chloe Sagal did what she did to protest how she was treated as a mentally ill trans woman and highlighted#Her mental illness and struggle with homelessness primarily. And it WAS a political protest#The only really. Sensible thing I've seen on this about how it was a suicide was 1) someone pointing out some people may relapse in#Response to this WITHOUT delegitimizing his actions and sharing helpline sources#And 2) another person pointing out it'd be absurd to accuse hunger strikers of promoting eating disorders#Like. You know what I think soldiers who are complicit in genocide probably DO develop mental health problems#And I see the idea that they do used in some pretty batshit ways recently!#But so- so fucking what#Resistance fighters and genocide victims have mental health issues too#Why is it for soldiers ignored or used to dehumanize victims until of the soldiers turns is gun away from them?#What's next am I gonna watch people delegitimize the actions of Palestinian resistance and the Bielskis and fucking#Unistʼotʼen as the actions of people who 'just have mental health issues' and therefore can't be political?#We also have the similar protests of Black people (two in the last 6 months) being swept aside
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i know in OBT, damini is clearly the worse parent because she didn't even attempt to raise dielle and clearly sees her as a failure, and she wouldn't have been a good parent even if she stayed.... but damn it, the deviantart comments are so annoying about mateo that i'm this close to stanning her anyways. very epic of her to subvert gender roles by being the deadbeat dad. hashtag feminist icon.
#tbf it seems like other sites are more nuanced and sensible#but people on da straight up insist mateo did nothing wrong and even if he did do wrong... uwu its okay bc he has a broken heart#he couldnt helppppp but hit and neglect and abandon dielle because shes soooo out of control like her mommmmm#and hes just so saaaaaad... he did nothing wrong you guys he only fucked up bc his BITCH EX screwed him over.... hes a good boyyy :(#.... if i catch any of you saying that shit about bruno when we get to him....... it wont be pretty........#hate hate haaaate this attitude that shitty dads are given all the excuses in the world but shitty moms are not allowed to be nuanced#that one atla post that was like ''uwu bad moms are different from bad dads bc bad dads are normal but bad moms are UNIQUELY awful''#did so much damage to fandom discussion#tbc dielle's wish itself and obt are great about mateo. none of this is on woo herself. she did a great job at making him a nuanced#and tragic guy while still making him a good source of tension and hurt and trauma in dielle's life that still haunts her#this is exclusively frustration towards other comments that wont stop defending him and saying he did nothing wrong#hey i wonder why we're being much harsher on the female characters here than the male character who did the same thing. hm.#echoed voice#also having a sad reason for doing what you do isnt an excuse to be shitty to your kids. this is like. parenting 101 you guys
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if i get one (1) comment, ONE SINGLE COMMENT about making a listener character say 'biscuits' instead of 'cookies' in this next one, i swear to GOD you will never have seen anyone delete their blog as fast as i will
#i will not - will NOT - have anyone else coming into my godforsaken askbox and bitching about this sort of thing every fucking again#SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP#in the grand scheme of things is this an incredibly minor thing? yes and i understand that#but surprise! my writing does not exist to cater to your delicate american-english-speaking sensibilities#i am already having to word things differently and cut out things i want to say because i KNOW that british english does things differently#and who am i doing that for? well it's not me and its not the imaginary people in the story#so take a great big guess as to WHOSE benefit thats for#do i go around kicking and screaming when other people say things that don't make sense with the version of english i speak#but that i can very easily understand through context or at the very least the INFINITE RESOURCES OF THE INTERNET?#surprisingly enough i do not!!#im never turning on anon ever again in my entire life#why is THIS the hill ur dying on anyway bestie#like is this genuinely the best thing you could think of doing with ur time#'ah yeah i really need to spend my friday night complaining about britishisms to some bitch on the internet'#well cheers to that mate. now fuck off x
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i havent even read enough gl to justify the feelings and emotions i have about kyle i just have the lovers heart and also something wrong with me. and my projection. in my mind he's just like me. and he would have loved college vending machine frozen cheeseburger and heating it up in the microwave at 1 in the morning because he was bored and didn't want to work on a drawing assignment on 20" x 30" paper that was due tomorrow in his freshman year. he would have loved going to the club to push off finals work that's creating the worst stress known to man in his brain. and he would love to annoy the fuck out of his roommate when high and avoiding homework on a saturday.
#IN MY MIND HE'S JUST LIKE ME and i understand why he dropped out of art school also.#i need to get back to my readings but im too into thinking about the couple dozen issues i have read#and then going i wonder what he was like in college. and the answer is definitely fucking annoying.#if i knew him i know we would be not arguing in art history class. i would be saying his takes are stupid outside of class during break.#and he would go i dont know how somoene can defend british utilitarian furniture so vehemently and try to liken it to bauhaus design#our arguments would also stem from having very different art history and therefore philosophy education. his background would be from a pro#who would focus on european canon as per usual while my prof was coming from the perspective of someone with a phd in asian art history#and a curriculum based mostly around exploring and investigating non euro art work and how movements like modernism and#post modernism functioned in other continents.#this is such a main blog post but idont care. EVERYONE HAS TO KNOW HOW I PROJECT AND INTERACT WITH HIM IN MY MIND#he would also hate how i argue for art even i dont care about by approaching it at the philosophical angle.#'how do you like this it's barely even art. or it is art. but it's a boring cop out for suckers. honestly.'#'the thing is i dont like it. i just think you need to expand your world views and stop being close minded. youre limiting yourself.'#you might go eiffel what are you basing this on? the answer is vaguely remembered panels in my mind plus generally taste opinions of his i#can gleam from what art references they give him within issues.#it would also be funny bc like. he has a background in design... he's just stubborn and snobby i think when it then comes to the realm of#fine arts. i think his opinions and how they operate in regards to design + illustration + non gallery art are probably quite different#but i cant lie. from the singular 'i dont wanna be some loser who shows up with a blank canvas to a gallery' panel i remember someone talki#about in a post i have used it to create a variety of thoughts i think he could have had.#and the answer is the opinions of someone definitely a little annoying in art school. with a pretty standard traditional training#and background that stems from euo+american art history and sensibilities that inform how he interacts with art. which is very normal#but i think it's funny to view him as someone i would probably roll my eyes at for some comments he would be making.#and it gets funnier with how he acts generally as a person.#kyle you cant be this snobby when you are drawing pin ups of your work crush in your home studio...#good lord this got so long i have a problem. hi. sorry to my new follower your kyle posting made me go ha ha kyle. i like that guy.#static.soundz#back issues box#< it might as well go there bc i blabbed way too hard and too much. sorry. overtaken by an entity in my mind
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me: right, this chapter is going to be a sensible length for once
also me: writes 10,000 words in three days
#i hope no one minds long chapters#because i swear they get worse each time#i’m not even finished with this one yet and it’s already as long as the last#this fic is just well and truly sucking me into its little world and it’s getting harder to climb out of it#which i really need to do right not so i can go the fuck to sleep#why does inspiration always hit the hardest at times where i should be asleep?? 😭#i say this like i’m complaining when actually i’m having the best time#i just know i won’t be having the best time when i’m trying to get up at a sensible hour for my scary work meeting tomorrow#four walls#lulu posts
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does the fact that maybe.... 25-50% of the time, i seem to be much, much better at rhetoric and message-crafting than anyone else in the room [union meeting] i am in, indicate that i have a moral duty to go full-time union organizer and be really all-in on Comms and Messaging
#what if i hate 1. anything that smacks of Advertisement and 2. social media#it's just that sometimes it's very clear that no one has ever said#''so what value‚ that we know the people we're speaking to hold‚#is this extremely vague philosophical benefit that we claim is a reason to support us supposed to actually cash out to''#and once you do that. you can actually write something using that point. because you have figured out why the fuck you are saying it#box opener#now you would not anticipate from my sentence structure here that i am actually good at rhetoric#but that's because i just spent the better part of several hours trying to compress several novel and underarticulated points#into a series of snappy yet interlocking 1-minute speeches for a moderately hostile audience#and now i have to do 9pm labwork. so i have nothing left for arranging clauses for you in a way that is sensible ¬ merely grammatical.#i'm actually not sure if this is really a capacity specific to Messaging or if it's just the most obvious to me as a trait no one else has#when we are Messaging. because Messaging makes people stupid#and the rest of the time things hook back up into real information enough that people besides me notice whether things make any sense.
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The main thing about IDW OP that I'm on my hands and knees begging people to understand is to actually treat him like a fucking character and give him the nuanced understanding that this fandom gives to other characters just fine. Like, I s2g the reason no one even talks about IDW OP is because at the first sign of him making mistakes or having a flawed worldview (you know, like a REAL PERSON and not a cartoon caricature) they instantly bail and go "zomg worst Optimus ever".
Like please for fuck's sake IDW1 is a story steeped in realism and moral grayness can you stop for ONE SECOND and realize that IDW OP being a little bit of an asshole or making big mistakes doesn't instantly make him the worst character ever and maybe take the time to actually read his story? B/c half the shit people say about IDW OP makes it obvious that they've only read MTMTE and LL (badly, might I add) and it annoys the shit out of me
#discourse#squiggposting#in the eyes of this boring ass fandom the ideal OP is a literal cardboard cutout#because no one wants him to do anything except stand in the background and smile and be some Good Guy#i mean for fucks sake it only took 10 episodes of ES a literal children's cartoon for people to instantly be like#'goo goo gaga OP works with a shady organization for the sake of maintaining peace with earth's citizens'#'on a planet that cybertronians came to by force bringing war and destruction with them'#'omg this children's cartoon OP is so bad because he wants to protect humans and makes compromises he doesn't like in order to do so'#like sorry i'm just really mad bc the reason ppl reject IDW OP isn't because of who he is as a character strictly#it's just because he's op/timus pri/me (TM) and he's not allowed to be anything else but perfect and good#that's why mfs are out there stanning objectively shitter characters and acting like adults about it#but when it comes to idw OP being more morally gray they flip their shit or pretend he doesn't exist#baby shhhh it's okay let OP be a person it's fine you'll survive#one single OP who doesn't cater to geewunners and the sensibilities of children's cartoons isn't gonna kill you#we can have more adult transformers stories but god forbid OP be more adult too. he has to be his g1 self now and forever#and if he ever makes compromises or questionable decisions or mistakes then throw him right out of the window. lmao
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it’s for real this time i’m gonna sort things out and i am going to end this (talking about work)
#and you could say hey ezra. what were you doing all day. why didn’t you do anything during the normal hours. ezra.#you weren’t even having fun. why do you do this to yourself. why are you like this as the gay people say.#maybe you should practice healthy sleeping patterns and stop feeling weirdly bad about sleep.#hey ezra why aren’t you listening to me. i’m saying the logical rational thing here why are you doing this it’s just not sensible#and to which i say#actually can’t think of a very good counter argument#but i’m doing one (1) thing tomorrow at 3pm that will last like 2-3 hours so that’s like all of tomorrow (today) gone#so if i don’t get this done now it’ll be too late#ezra’s real life rambles#i will fucking slaughter ecology just you wait#that sounds not very good without context internet people don’t worry about this :)#just doin my silly things#(thing is idk when i’ll even be able to hand this god forsaken hell forsaken booklet in but i still feel#i must do it in time for the due date it’s very important#re on the other hand can just go die i really do not care)
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teehee they are sending me an offer letter 😳
#I get to enter data for hours 😳😳#all I have to do is pass a drug test 😳😳 which is why I was taking a tolerance break 😳😳#and I just took a practice test from walmart and it is negative 😳 but hopefully the same will happen with an actual real test#this is literally just a test for parents to check if their kid smokes which is so fucking cringe and scary oh my god#fucking imagine instead of talking to your child about issues they might be having and what you can do to help#and like. helping them stay safe and sensible about it. you force them to pee in a cup and show it to you#to prove they’re not on a drug. like not that marijuana is a minor benign drug or whatever but there are worse things in the world#anywayssssssss
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hindsight
[ID: A two-panel comic with crudely drawn stick figures.
Panel 1: The lime green person is talking to the leaf green person and the moss green person.
Lime: "I... have a confession to make."
Leaf: "Go ahead."
Lime: "I want to rewatch the Wizard Child movies."
Leaf: "Didn't the wizard author get incredibly chromophobic?"
Lime: "Yeah I just... It's nostalgia you know? They meant a lot to me when I was a kid."
Panel 2: The three are on the couch.
Lime: "All right, let's go."
Leaf: "It's so weird how the wizard author just turned chromophobic though. Like I remember this series being pretty good for its time. It'll be weird seeing their work contrasting with their views now."
Moss: "I'm just glad we got the movies for free through normal and legal means. Heh."
End ID.]
[ID 2: Scenes from three Wizard Child movies.
Wizard Child and the Simplistic Morality: A slightly round child with a propeller hat is talking to a child with no hat.
Round child: "I am so fucking fat and greedy I am textually shown to be fat because I am greedy and also evil."
Hatless child: "You are to infer my moral purity from juxtaposition with this fat child. Woe is me for our shared parent has deprived me of a propeller hat."
Wizard Child and the Goodness of Wealth: An adult wizard is talking to the child, who now has a wizard hat.
Wizard Adult: "Wizard child you are secretly extremely rich."
Wizard Child: "I will form biases regarding the bankers all being triangular for some reason!"
Wizard Adult: "Your wealth is deserved because your true parent was Good and therefore you are also Good."
Wizard Child: "Now we should acquire consumer goods. Buy consumer goods!"
Wizard Child and the Dark Family History: A blue-grey horse person is talking to the wizard child.
Blue-grey: "No, wizard child. You don't understand. I am one of the good ones, because unlike the bad ones I don't try to spread my curse that makes you a blue-grey horselike creature to others!"
Wizard child: "Wow uncle blue-grey you are one of the good ones! I forgive you for being a horse because I am so good I would even forgive horses. I sure hope you don't conspicuously get killed off later in this movie!"
End ID 2.]
[ID 3: Oh hell no there are even more of these.
Wizard Youth and the Tokenistic Relationship Dynamics: A square headed wizard youth is talking to the former wizard child, now a wizard youth.
Square Wizard Youth: "Wizard child, as the only person with a square head in this entire series it is my duty to inform you that you are the savior of all people with square heads, too. Let us build a one-sided relationship that only furthers your character development, after which I will immediately lose all plot relevance."
Wizard Youth: "I will do this because I am a maturing wizard youth and need disposable relationships that don't threaten the endgame!"
Wizard Youth and the Escalation of Stakes: The Dark Wizard, a sort of grey-green person with a cloak, is pointing at Wizard Youth.
Dark Wizard: "Wizard Youth, I have returned!"
Wizard Youth: "Dark Wizard! Why are you green now?"
Dark Wizard: "Evil magic made me green! I am green with envy towards all who are good!"
Wizard Youth: "I will not engage with how you are clearly based on fascist ideologies and yet this narrative plays into fascist aesthetic sensibilities!"
Wizard Youth and the Post-Hoc Revelations: The Wizard Youth is leaning over their Wizard Mentor, who is laying in a pool of blood.
Wizard Youth: "Wizard Mentor no! You can't die!"
Wizard Mentor: "It is fine, wizard youth. My death will further your character development into a wizard adult. Also, I was secretly a very very dark purple this entire time. I never brought it up so I could retain narrative approval.
End ID 3.]
[ID 4: Wizard Adult and the Overdue Conclusion. Three panels. I am sorry.
Panel 1: The dark wizard is dueling the Wizard Adult with magic beams.
Dark Wizard: "Evil green beam!"
Wizard Adult: "Good red beam! Despite the enormous variety of magic in this series this is what our final battle looks like!"
Panel 2: Wizard Adult stands victorious over the dark wizard, who is dying on the ground.
Wizard Adult: "In the end, dark wizard, you were defeated because I am morally superior to you."
Dark Wizard: "I was a product of systemic failures. There will be someone like me again someday!"
Panel 3: Zoom in on wizard adult, who says:
"Not if I can help it. Because I am going to be a wizard cop now. The moral of this story is that all systemic issues can be solved by finding a bad guy to beat."
End ID 4.]
[ID 5: Four panels.
Panel 1: Return to the green trio on their couch, watching the TV say "The End." All are are silent.
Panel 2: They are sitting on the couch. Moss is looking at their phone.
Lime: "Yeah so there were maybe a few signs we missed because we were children."
Leaf: "Yeah. A few. Some."
Panel 3: Continue conversation.
Lime: "So what did you think, Moss?"
Panel 4: Zoom in on Moss, who says: "I've been zoned out on my phone since the second movie. They lost me at the magic stuff. Wizards aren't real."
End ID 5.]
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#why yes I did just make this extremely long#surely there was no more succinct way to do this joke#oh god this keeps escaping the intended audience#which is people who are already familiar with#pills that make you green#ptmyg
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re: botanists are too busy post i have very bad news for you guys about the mad science botanists are in real life conducting. it sucks
#myposts#its all rose varieties sponsored by soft drink companies and tulips with flowers so full they cant stand upright#i dont disapprove of a lot of mad plant science--and there is actually quite a lot of it#esp when it comes to commercial breeding/GM for increasingly elaborate ornamentals#ex the orange petunias they finally got approved to sell which ive seen absolutely everywhere this spring#or the new bioluminescent petunias made for the glofish people dont ask me why they keep fucking with petunias#but genuinely. genuinely?? it makes me kinda sad#like. theres way better things you could be doing. and way better people you could be doing it for#those tulips especially they make me mad when i see them . particularly cause theyre everywhere#thats a lot of work to figure out how to do that. theres a reason ornamental tulips like that didnt exist until recently--its hard to do#and its kinda. a waste of time.#look i am a Plants Guy. i dont really begrudge the existence or popularity of ornamental flowers#i have been beknownst by the knowledgeable to fall for pretty and rare colors. its fine#but it is--and this is important--nothing. its not anything.#and frankly maybe i do begrudge it a little. its a sensibility that is actively hostile to native ecosystems in like. shockingly direct way
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sometimes i think about what my friend did to me and it makes me want to scream
#literally set up me to feel so gross and uncomfortable#WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT#it made me want to be invisible so bad#it made me want to throw up#i feel so betrayed because#for my friends i only want the best for them and i advise and help them accordingly#like my friend likes this guy. she tells me because im friends with him. i tell her hesa great guy and advise her on how to approach him#i would never ever put her in a high stress situation with a man she doesn’t care for or that she doesn’t know and make it explicitly a date#like thihg#NY FRIEND FUCKING DID TGAT TO ME#and im so so so so so particular about dating and romance and im actually ruthless with romantic prospects as you literally have to be#and im just in shock when i remember the man she tried to push on me i want to cry and screeam and run away for a week because WHAT THEHSGS#every time i tell a sensible person this story they are so gagged they are in genuine shock at wht happened#as they should be it was so BAD#-11029228728/10 experience#it stresses me out just to think about
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