#fuck those kids

[the-wizard-sparrowhawk]

I’ll never forget and I’ll never forgive what they did to you 😭

[i-am-thoroughly-confused]

Volleyball tryouts sucked cock I didn’t make the team, I had a silent panic attack and couldn’t ground myself for like 15 minutes and I was insulted by like 3 girls

At least I got monster ig

[separatist-apologist]

My kids just showed me a tiktok where they called fob dad rock and said wait until they get to folie a deux....is this what you were referring to bc I am distraught

Bury me standing under your window with this cinderblock in hand Yeah 'cause no one will ever like this again

I'm all ears and I'm all scars to hear you tell me, "boys like you try too hard to look not quite as desperate" I'm hanging on but I still know the way to make your make up run

You want apologies, girl, you might hold your breath until your breathing stop forever-the only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips I hope they taste of me forever

THESE KIDS DONT KNOW WHAT THEYRE TALKING ABOUT

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[memoriescut]

btw if people pulled a carrie on me i would turn out like this too 💀

[cubbyhole-for-flea-bee]

Macaque spent the whole season Big-Damn-Hero-ing and was NOT happy about it xD

[watch-my-cosmic-death]

Literally can’t stop thinking about the young lad who was being a dick about still next to this very sweet girl on the ride- he and his mates kept giving her looks and laughing. We were already strapped in but I wanted to deck the fuck out of each of them. She did absolutely nothing wrong and was on by herself whilst her boyfriend waited. She was just singing along with the music- Oh my god the anger running through my viens rn- she kinda reminds me of my little sister too, which makes this 20,000x worse.

[remxedmoon]

practicing self care (projecting my stims on my blorbos)

greyscale vers below the cut!

[cyanide-sippy-cup]

The idea that Duke is the super well-behaved and rule-following kid is really funny to me cause like, have you read Robin War? His bit in that book opens with him being arrested for wearing red shoes (long story, just know he was also wearing a red hoodie that apparently wasn't a problem) and he explains step by step to the cop exactly how he plans on escaping before executing that escape perfectly by jumping off a bridge. He fought an armored Jim Gordon, the Court of Owls, and Damian who had been manipulated into joining the Court. Duke managed to talk Damian down while getting his ass kicked and then kinda befriended the kid after. He also has defied Batman several times and was proven to be right. All with a healthy dose of sass.

But also I do like lil rule-following sweetheart Duke so I have a proposal. Duke Thomas who follows the rules he agrees with. Most of the time, he's the sweet little angel in the manor. He's polite, he's well-mannered, he's kind, and he does what he's told. However that's only because everything aligns with what he believes to be the right path. The moment Bruce makes a bad call or order, Duke takes it to 11 and becomes more impossible to order around than Jason. Chaotic Good Duke.

[lazycranberrydoodles]

english translation book 5 baby we are in the ‘people assuming kid form hua cheng is xie lian’s son’ era 🔥🔥🔥 / follow for more hualian silliness

[deaddee-anime-brownfanlady]

[visenyaism]

the thing about rhaenyra and those kids is that women exercising basic sexual autonomy is the bedrock of any just and equitable society. AND also scamming is funny. how could you not applaud her velaryon disinformation campaign

[beybuniki]

lov beach episode whennnn

[lunar-wandering]

WHEN I TELL YOU I LOST MY ENTIRE SHIT

WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS IN THE LAST 30 SECONDS. SHOWING MACAQUE INVESTIGATING, YEAH SURE CHECKS OUT.

MACAQUE'S MAGIC SUDDENLY TURNING INTO CHAOS MAGIC???

WHAT DO YOU MEAN. WHAT DO YOU MEANN.

AND THEN. THE ENDING.

THE CLIFFHANGER ENDING.

THE STAFF CRACKLING WITH CHAOS MAGIC

AND MACAQUE SENSING IT AND TURNING TO LOOK AT IT

LITERALLY WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU MEAN. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK.

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[annimator]

Yeah I’m taking the news just fine :’D