#fuck those aunties
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tcoptp thoughts pt.20
now that we have reached a checkpoint i want to recap
the black brothers are talking
seameadows is happening (???)
lottie is doing WAY too much for a guy
marauders + lily being friendship goals
remus and tom may never talk again <3333
and theyre being scammed <3333333
a rollercoaster of sorts but atleast somethings are nice (cough THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP WILL GET US THROUGH cough)
......lottie?!!? does this count as grooming?? it should.
.....peter? i mean ik you're mad but that comment was UNCALLED
HOLY FUCKK THE PARENTS
FUCKING MUNDUNGUS FLETCHER ?@?@?!?!?!?#@?!SDFGSUG
God Sirius is really spouting those insults isnt he? 'sell your kidneys to make up for our loss' go off king
and HERE comes the downfall
NOT THE MOTHER
the black family angst is the only thing that has the capability to ruin me just because of the fact that they can "never change"
SIRIUS IS PLAYING THE PIANO! AGAIN!
THE BIKE THE BIKE THE BIKE! AND ITS NAME IS GISELA??
what the fuck is happening in this concert
remus fangirling over singers is valid. also where the fuck is sirius?
oh... not lee. fuck. wtf is he doing here though??
stop stop stop stop stop stop stop god wtf is wrong with them
REGULUS IS HERE YESDSFBDSGY8SD8GYASDGYSDIGHFIGUH (whose gonna tell him though)
....ORION?? ....good riddance...? idk how to feel about this though...
'son'..... i mean i expected it but they actually didnt do any research
god sirius is such a fucking mood
.....they're actually letting him play the piano???
REGULUS IS COMING WITH THEM FUCKING FINALLY DUIFSIDFI
what the fuck did they just do can someone please explain i dont speak british plss
i feel like peter falling deserves an honourable mention
unrequited sunseeker is tragic but this gives me the EXACT vibes when everbody thought that nico had a crush on annabeth but it was actually percy
regulus is the most unhelpful helpful person
midnight dancer is the shortest one?? kinda expected it to be atleast 6 mins
'bracelets' ??? do foreigners not know about bangles??
REGULUS AND ANDY YES!!!
PETER'S SPEECH
can i laugh. i really want to laugh. wtf is remus doing though 😭
SEAMEADOWS! those aunties can shove their opinion up their ass
#fuck those aunties#also THE BLACK BROTHERS ARE FINALLY COMMUNICATING#THEY HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP#OR#THEY ARE WORKING TOWARDS A HEALTY RELATIONSHIP#where is regulus and andromeda's conversation tho#unrequited sunseeker is funny rn#but im pretty sure it WILL make me cry#there is unrequited sunseeker though right?#because im not sure#also SEAMEADOWS#sirius black#remus lupin#the cadence of part time poets#my thoughts#regulus black#james potter#lily evans#marlene mckinnon#mary macdonald#dorcas meadowes#seameadows#wolfstar#sunflower#the marauders#peter pettigrew
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CHILDREN OF BHAAL
I adore the vibe of redeemed durge your sister killed your mind and took your place - it was the greatest gift she ever gave you
#orin the red#baldur's gate 3#bg3 orin#the dark urge#cant stop thinking about orin#myart#durge vaye#still deciding what kind of c section scar to give vaye#went with a vertical scar for this one#the lore for vaye is that he got pretty far into his life as baahls chosen as far as milestones are concerned#became unholy assassin almost finished those plans to take over the world had a kid for sacrifice/back up bhaalspawn purposes ect#& was daddy's perfect little murder baby <3 until the lobotomy ofc#then only with memory loss was there was enough distance for him to actually face how fucked the whole situation#btw Orin did Vaye's top surgery c-section and lobotomy <3#thats his whole medical team right there#when you wake up with no memory all you have is your body for evidence so i really leaned into that for vaye's scars#I gave him vash the stampede level scars lol#he wakes up knows 4 things: that hes been through metaphorical hell and survived that someone did a choppy job on his top surgery#that at one point he decided face + eye tattoos would be his thing and that hes had a child#Im debating whether or not Orin would outright kill the kid or if shed keep the kid around until theyre old enough to face her in a duel#Leaning towards the second#that means while vaye is wondering around faerun that kid is having arts and crafts time with auntie orin! (oh no oh no oh no)
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Israels actions against Palestine make me sick to my stomach. Every time I look at the news I see some new horror they are committing, and see how they are justifying the inexcusable, I feel sick to my stomach with rage. But now, in the heart of Ramadan, the word angry feels too small for the fire I feel in my chest.
Palestine will not be able to properly celebrate Ramadan this year. Trying to explain the situation to people who have never interacted with the community is difficult. Even when thinking to myself, I have the urge to compare it to what I know. "Imagine if there was no Christmas." "Imagine if someone took away Easter." "Imagine there was no food on Thanksgiving."
But Ramadan is not any of those things. The fact that there is no Ramadan in Palestine should be enough to make you angry.
I've been living in a muslim country for six months now. Ramadan is not nearly as festive as Eid was, but its presence is unmistakable. You can taste the joy in the air. Children here get out of school early this month. There is a school across from my home; I hear their laughter every day. String lights hang from the balconies of my neighbors, wrap around palm trees, dangle from streetlights. In the news I read that the Sheik has pardoned hundreds of prisoners, paying off their fines himself in the spirit of charity. Shops here are decorated to match, with cut out stars and crescent moons and streamers. Many shops offer discounts. "70% off home delivery."
There are festivals in the streets and lectures in the colleges.
It is wonderful. And the people of Palestine do not have this. Their fasting is forced, their children out of school by force, their houses lit by firebombs and not crescent moon LEDs, homes that smell of gunsmoke instead of oud.
I hate Israel. It feels childish to admit this. It feels like a shortcoming; hate is what causes this crisis, I should be able to focus on loving Palestine instead of adding more hate to the world. But it is a word I can't help but feel when I think about what Isreal has done, is doing, will do to the people of Palestine. What injustices they will force upon them next. Hate. It's not something I say lightly, but it is something I feel I must say.
I am not disappointed in Israel. I am not sympathetic to their 'cause.' I will not censor myself to sound more moderate, to convince the undecided. I hate Israel. I hate Israel. I hate Israel.
#free palestine#palestine#of course i sorrow. but there is a time for sorrow and it is not now. now is the time to fight#so that those who may yet be saved will be saved#also in case it needed to be said: I DO NOT HATE JEWISH PEOPLE OH MY GOD PLEASE DONT GET ANTISEMITIC ON THIS POST#I AM REFERRING TO THE COLONIAL STATE OF ISRAEL WHICH IS CURRENTLY OCCUPYING PALESTINE AND ENACTING GENOCIDE ON THEM#honestly im not even referring to all zionists. if you have some 90yrold auntie zionist living in nowhere canada i dont care what she think#i dont care what john and jane doe think in the privacy of their own homes.#I'm pissed at all the people in power who are currently using that power to support a genocidal government.#and the government who is gleefully committing that genocide#also yeag tho fuck the notion that civilian israelis are uwu innocent bystanders who cant help but live in a colonial state.#yall did actually choose to live there. and i've yet to see evidence of guilt from most of you
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Existing in this world with the current political climate means kinda wanting to partake in the around the world Hatsune Miku trend but wondering if I'll be fucking crucified for Russian Miku
#and no I'm not overreacting. trust me I have seen some shit#technically I could make her Moldovan or Korean or uzbek and those would all be accurate too#but my extent of connection to any of that is going over to my auntie's for korean/uzbek food every once in a while#I'm russian to the core whether the world likes it or not#(it doesn't. it really doesn't. and that's not a victim complex it's an object fact)#anyway. I already saved some refs of traditional ural settler clothing so it'd be a shame not to do anything with it#kinda wanna do a modern version too. but there's not really a look modern russians have#we just dress in whatever#LMAO IMAGINE IF I DID SOVIET MIKU I'D BE SO FUCKING DEAD#NOW I WANNA DO IT JUST FOR THE DRAMA#hatsune miku#<— playing with fire by putting this in the tag
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leave me alone while I think about how we never seen more child moments of Marcel with Klaus
#what did Klaus do when Marcel had his first crush?#was he over the top about it?#did he compel the girl to like Marcel back ?!?!?#*CRIES*#*loud ass screaming and wailing against a wall*#marcel gerard#klaus mikaelson#klarcel#no bc TO said YES Klaus is a dad but NO you won’t see it 😭#and ignore that we gave them a black relative pls he’s fucking his auntie so you won’t need the rest of those details 🫤#the originals
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I think about that quote about indigenous people living in a post apocalyptic world everyday here, why are there no natives here, why does this town think its still in europe, why is there a land acknowledgment before the list of original settlers that make it seem like we're extinct, why am i the only indigenous person here and the only reason im here is because im working??? why am i the only indigenous person here and the only reason i am here is because i am working.
#like everyone says this is the best base and like yeah the beach is cool and all (if we arent busy) but im noticing a lack of indigenous ppl#thank fuck for the room having access to aptn for making me feel normal again#but like rn we're able to be in town since nothings happening atm and its scary how all the people living here are white people so strongly#proud of their families coming here from europe and have european flags up and all the names of the streets and the souvineirs and none of#the people here know we were here first.#like this town THINKS its still in europe and acts like it and ive only seen one other indigenous person but theyre just here for a day trip#but hearing that auntie laugh made me feel less scared fr#everyone hates on the other bases but tbh i think its just cause those towns are wayyy more native (thank fuck) and theyre haters#anyway still getting used to being the only indigenous person here esp cause they all hate indigenous people 👍#tjis is a VERRYYYYY touristy town too and since working as an indigenous tour guide tourists fuckinh annoy me
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anyway played more baldurs gate 3 and can confirm it's d&d if you like less options and never having an interesting person in your party ever. and you can't even be fat. fuck off
#i want true soul gut in my party. i want aunty ethel. i want to be able to be fat and i want to SEEEE fat people in the world ANYWHERE#ANYWHERE FUCKING ANYWHEEEERE#i want Baldur's Gate. as in the city. to fucking feel like one of the greatest ports on the Sword Coast#its pathetically watered down. party members are all perfect looking. cant even find icingdeath and twinkle like in the first two games#and if they ever release aarakocra or goblins or the other funky races (they wont lol) as paid dlc ill kill the devs myself#but yeah they wont that would mean making Faerûn look cool and interesting and deep n everyone knows fantasy worlds arent that lol cmon#and fuck those druids. i literally found a book (i had to STEAL) that said verbatim what they were doing was against their code#and I just. couldnt do anything with it. show it to anyone. say 'hey that thing you told me is a lie and your own doctrine says so' nah bro#just give me a fucking option dude#yas queen give us nothing#just put a book about alchemy or something there instead dont give me CRITICAL INFO FOR MY QUEST THAT I CANNOT INTERACT WITH AT ALL
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#my thing is always gonna be this#how are you upset with me because im trying to have a boundary???#how are you upset with ME that YOURE ALWAYS OVERSTEPPING MY BOUNDARIES#like yes i babysitter im a babysitter but you cant expect me to babysit just cause you need a babysitter!?? like what??!#“oh we needed to go to another church and the kids didnt wanna go” okay?? so you just dropped them off without saying anything to me??!#you didnt even ask if i could you just assumed i would cause im home??? like i dont deserve a moment???#like im not a parent#i dont have any kids and i definitely dont fucking plan on it so why tf do i feel like a single mother in my day to day??#why do i never have any free time to myself why is my free time volunteered to making sure children are supervised??!#“well since you decided this im just gonna come get the kids” yeah im within my fucking right so why are you phrasing it like im wrong#god ive never been this frustrated that im fucking crying like can i have some fuckinf breathing space AWAY from other ppls kids#blymi rants#update:: my sister did in fact come and get them#and told the kids “yall cant stay home cause auntie doesnt feel like watching yall”#definitely feels like shes putting the blame on me cool cool cool#just peachy.#love that for me lets make it MY fault whatever#god i really cannot catch a fucking break#and trust and believe im gonna have to hear some stupid ass better than thou speech about how i need to help out my sister#“because shes a student a mother AND working” as if any of those choices are my fucking concern yep wonderful#especially for a sister. that while i love her. feels entitled to peoples help because shes “going through so much”#and now i cant even fucking relax or draw or write because im so fucking pissed#which is why i wanted the afternoon to myself ANYWAYS so no matter what the fucking days a goddamn bust for me regardless
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this is the funniest thing pleasee
#fucking hell okay so major i will knock you spoilers ahead#a few things from respectthepettys posts from back when this was airing stuck with me but vaguely#and i remember the sentence ''ofc it was his mom'' and i thought it was about auntie tim and thiw cause there wa a comment about the friend#breakup right#so i have my bl bingo by my side and i was thinking that ig we wont have an ep 11 breakup BUT HAHA#turns out i didnt interpret those words right and we do have a mom induced breakup just not the one i initially thought#which like lol fuck you snobby bitch
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i always forget i have hyperpigmentation til i look at my elbow and then i feel like smashing my head on a rock
#its not even both elbows. like id probably feel better if it was both elbows but its JUST my left#got me fucking looking up scrubs and shit feeling like those colorist aunties going Thisll make you lighter i promise
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Rotating potential Claudia and Bricktop interactions in my head like it’s a microwave
#Bricktop swooping in to give Claudia her version of the talk and Grace and Louis not realizing it until Claudia says some wild shit#and they’re like?????#who have you been talking to???#why do you know those words????#on one hand Claudia has Aunty Grace who’s such a good aunt and aren’t they cute#meanwhile Claudia has pack bonded with Bricktop who’s like this weird child is delightful#Grace WANTs to be the fun aunt but Bricktop is actually the fun aunt#Louis didn’t intend for Bricks to be an Aunt figure#he just introduced them to be polite because Bricks was dropping off something to Rue Royale but Claudia was fucking enchanted#and couldn’t be stopped
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I love how I have like maybe 3 days a month tops where my mind is like, "You know what, having a relationship and a kid would be nice."
Meanwhile the rest of the month I'm like...
Sees toddler have a melt down, thinks: Thank GOD I don't have a kid to try and raise and probably fuck up along the way.
Hearing about people's relationship drama, thinks: Thank GOD I am single and don't have to deal with that crap.
#it's honestly so relaxing#personal#those three days are so weird#i'm so child happy and imagining myself in a relationship#meanwhile the rest of the time#i get such a visceral reaction even hearing little kids#and am so annoyed and discouraged by the thought of trying to find a SO that would be okay with barely any intimacy#like i even hate it when my parents or siblings touch me at certain body parts#the thought of having sex or making out grosses me the fuck out#who would take a girl that is sexually bulimic?#but then again#i don't actually need that nor do i WANT that#but for three days of the month my hormones manage to trick myself into thinking I actually want any of that#like have you seen the girl with the list on tik tok#gathering all the reasons not to have kids#don't get me wrong i'm fine with kids that are not my own#i'm excited to someday be an aunty to my middle sister's kids#but i don't want any of my own#where did this tag rant even come from wth
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#that last post really unleashed some feelings#aunties always used to ask me what my brother was currently doing#and I was like he's in college#and their next question always used to be in which engineering college he was studying in or some question already assuming he took up#engineering#and it used to always make me so furious like bitch there are other courses than those two fields one can pursue#just bc both my parents were engineers doesn't mean my brother wants to be one#he has his own mind and dreams that he wants to achieve#and then once my math teacher when I talked about my brother taking up history and international relations course was like so he's not as#smart or intelligent as you or something shitty like that and I was like how does him not liking math equate to his level of smartness#everyday I thank all lords that my brother was able to escape such narrow minded people and moreover escape from courses that would've#killed him#but God the shit he had to go through from both the society and my parents for a long while#the trauma he was subjected to on a daily basis bc of his different interest I wish I couldve done something for him through those years#I wish I had enough maturity to blow some sense into those people#and now in my batch I see people like my brother who couldn't escape struggle through the course#for some people the only reason they came to this field was to make their parents proud as if that should be anyone's goal in life as if th#dreams dont matter and some others being forced into it#there could be millions of 3 idiots and taare zameen pars but our fucking society never changes#I'm so tired of this trend I'm so tired of our children being sacrificed for this
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heyyy sorry for the inactivity for the last few days!! i’ll upload my audio and message the lovely mutuals soon, i’ve just had an absolutely hectic week n im a bit exhausted 😅
ily !!!
#i attended the wake of my aunty#started withdrawing from venlafaxine cuz i ran outta my meds#which if u have EVER been on venlafaxine. u know how fucked the withdrawals get#AND#i had a best friend of 4yrs completely split on me and cut me off with threats of violence if she sees me again#but!!!! i have also had some really lovely moments and days and i treasure those moments greatly
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Trying to explain the symptoms of your mental illness to the person responsible for that particular mental illness (it is C-PTSD) without straight up saying or even implicating "yeah, I can't do dishes when other people are around without having a panic attack because of how you used to come up behind me while I was doing dishes and would hit me" is...so fucking difficult. And it is additionally vexing to be told afterwards "maybe you just had low blood sugar." I want to maul.
#fae irl#abuse mention#i am trying to keep things civil and such#but god damn#she is in therapy now (16 months!) and is trying to do something nice for me rn (giving me a handful of groceries!)#and my lovely aunt will be coming down here soon and we will be seeing each other in person when my auntie does so#i do not want to cause waves#i do not#we are both in very similar positions and we both have buckets of trauma so i understand partially why she was Like That while raising me#and she is finally trying to get and be better in some regards#so i will. not. choose this moment. to confront my mother.#i will. withhold. i will not cause needless stress.#we were having a simple conversation about dishes. i will not turn that conversation into something else and cause a fight.#i will not.#even if hearing her be like ''oh hey i get that!!! i also have some of those symptoms (anxiety while doing dishes)''#really really really makes me want to scream ''then why in the FUCK did you come up behind me while I was doing the dishes--#--and start hitting me and screaming at me!!!''#i will simply. let the desperate sense of heartbreak and betrayal go back into the void.#i will let this pass through and over me. peacefully.#and i will do the dishes. alone. while my partner sleeps. and i will not have a panic attack while i do so this time.#because i am no longer living in an abusive household. this is a safe place where the only situation where id be hit is if i asked for it.#and aint that something?#whew.#i am. fine. 😀👍
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this is the last dream i'll post about today i promise!!
#this one happened last week iirc#i was in this strip mall plaza that had two levels and every store there was perfectly cube-shaped#i met this stranger girl who was my age who had a shirt with 'I LOVE WEARING TUXEDOS' emblazoned on it#then suddenly kehlani materialized out of nowhere#i don't listen to her music but i've heard of her#she wore a shirt that said 'TUXEDO GIRLFRIEND'#i felt weird about being the third wheel in their relationship but they didn't seem to mind#my anxiety was alleviated shortly after that#i remember the three of us went to some nondescript store#the overhead lights were super dim and the rest were artificially bright and white#the edges of the walls that barely touched the top of the floor were painted navy blus#*blue. fuck autocorrect!#if i had to guess it resembled a hybrid of a walmart and a target; the three of us were goofing off in the electronics section#they got ahead of me because i walked too slowly so i used one of those rolling cart thingies to catch up to them#i almost crashed into one of the ceiling lamps and the store's owner (an older black lady) said “your ass better not break my lights!”#she could've passed for one of my aunties (my aunties are sweet as pie though)#thankfully i didn't break any but my clumsiness caused me to fall off the rolling cart; i survived unscathed#they rushed to me and asked if i was alright and i told them yes#i thought i embarrassed myself in front of countless strangers but no one seemed to pay any mind#*wipes forehead* holy shit that was a lot of writing#what's cookin' in hell's kitchen?#adventures within my amygdala
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