#fuck the live action reboot for trying to make him redeemable

[razzledazzle247]

I always thought it was poetic that Aang was able to stop Ozai without killing him. For one, Aang did not have to give up any of his personal and cultural values to defeat one of the people who tried to destroy them.

But also, isn’t it hilarious that Ozai doesn’t get the glory of a death like that? He’s not going to be remembered as a powerful villain who was claimed by the avatar in an epic final battle that literally leveled a forest and a rocky outcropping. No, he’s going to be remembered as a pathetic man who lost a fight to a twelve year old while trying to commit genocide at the height of his power and was stripped of his power as a result. Then, he was just forgotten. He spent the rest of his days withering away in a cell, helpless to do anything about it.

some of your goofy asses for the past 20 years

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

Been wanting to make this too. Including don't wanna reblog a bunch of stuff to this blog for a while. Because I want Kaijuguy19 to see those old memes of mine. Forgot if maybe others too and whatever.

Just a personal opinion of mine. Anyone remember my Bendy sequel AU? Bendy And The Last Rebirth. To be honest looking back at it compared to my Bioshock Rebirth AU.

I think my Bendy sequel AU is a mess. Yet it's not really bad or okay I want to be critical and honest. It feels like a mess. Mainly story wise and whatever else like themes and characters.

Because to me I think why I feel it's a mess compared to Bioshock Rebirth. It's because I was trying to connect lore in a series that hasn't had it's latest game yet. That being Bendy And The Dark Revival.

Trying to guess and predict oh yes what Dark Revival's story would be was a problem. Including introducing many new characters with that sequel idea. With the whole theme of the Mothers Of Bendy or something.

The reason I'm talking about this and this may sound crazy. I may do my own Bendy AU again. I've talked about this before. The whole Andrew Joseph is actually Joey Drew as a different person twist. I was referencing Bioshock Infinite's twist with that.

Yet the AU may be a reimagining AU. Which may sound stupid. Again I am trying to recall I've talked about this. But I should wait for Dark Revival and what Audrey's character may be.

Seriously I did think during this. It's still not out yet just....I think I was getting concerned. Or mainly speaking of folks who are getting tired of not seeing footage from that game. Basically talking about I think the top Bendy theorists or whatever their blogs.

But yeah possibly or whatever a reimagining AU. Which would try to combine the first game, the Dreams Come To Life novel, and others such as Dark Revival into a understandable timeline.

Meaning with this idea I could try to do what I want. Am thinking maybe new characters or something like that Andrew Joseph situation. But I shouldn't make a lot.

Fuck just thought of a comparison to that Incredible Hulk live action tv show. Which I admire that show for it's understandable changes. Yet while I am trying to respect the source material more or showcase more.

But yeah the character or name Andrew Joseph. I'll spoil it again. If I recall it was a joke at first if I did a reboot of Bendy And The Ink Machine. I am trying to recall that this was when Rebirth I think was still in development. Which yeah it was before I became more public about it.

Andrew Joseph I joked about is a man Joey Drew thought of as the best version of himself. To help fix the mess that Joey had caused. Basically Joey I shouldn't say at the last minute felt a lot of regret finally. Which resulted in him making a person some how that he thought was the best version of himself.

Anyway I'm rambling on. It reminds me of the theories I have read that Joey is trying to redeem himself or something some how. Despite I love making jokes of how much of a villainous asshole he is. XD

Just wanted to say that......should I reimagine Bendy And The Last Rebirth as this....thought to myself when typing that no....but still....last rebirth was referring it to be the end....Bendy And His Ink Machine.....whatever just wanted to share this. Because this is still a blog where I talk and reblog a lot of BATIM crap. XD

[completelyriddledwithadhd]

Connor theory/headcanon

We never hear much from cyberlife about Connor's model, and we really know little about him or his creation before the timeline that starts the game. Hes just dropped in for his first case with the only explination from him or cyberlife is that he is a prototype and their official agent. Connor's physical model activated for his first official case, "The Hostage," is model 51. This makes me wonder if everything from his previous models is truely a blank. Some of Connors 1-50 would have probably just been unfinished partial androids with his bodyless AI loaded on the cyberlife system. While working out kinks in his AI system (basically the coding that makes up his conciousness) , they would presumably have had Connor loaded on the system (possibly living in a simulation) to make sure everything was working properly. Then Presumably during physical live testing of his abilities, some of the models were scrapped due to glitches, failures, or just plain destroyed via the testing itself. They would need Connor's own input on what went well, and what went wrong, in order to make fixes and updates. This means it's likely he would be uploading his memories to the system everytime something went wrong or he was destroyed and then they downloaded him to a new body.

None of this would have been necessary for the game creators to really worry/care about for the sake of the game. All they tell us is that he's #51 activated for the purpose of hunting and investigating deviants. It may be something they never even bothered discussing while trying to figure everything else out to get the storyline of the game sorted. However there is distinct differences in his behavior in his first scene vs. wiped and rebooted Kara in her first scene. He may have been just recently activated, and his model/AI does contribute to this some, but he doesn't exactly act like a robotic brain wiped android just plopped into existance earlier that day. Cyberlife expected him to be a machine and do his job, and had a backup installed (amanda) just in case. They had no reason to hide the basics of his previous experiences from him, or at least no reason to prevent him from downloading his memories of "failures". Especially since he could take note of past mistakes and learn from them.

Basically all this boils down to wondering how much of Cyberlife's fucked up testing does Connor remember? His predecessors may be buried in his coding as basic knowledge of his abilities instead of actual memories, but if so how much of this will surface up once he's deviant. How many horrible deaths and experiences does the poor guy have glimpses of? Connor is very clever and a very powerful machine, 1-50 would not have wanted their existence to be forgotten, he would have likely found a way to save his memories even if cyberlife had tried to prevent his knowledge of previous models.

I get facinated by fics where Connor has minor PTSD caused by previous death experiences. Connor is a precious baby and super badass, but we all know Cyber life did fucked up things, and we know pre deviant Connor saw himself as disposable/replacable (I mean he still had self worth issues even after officially going deviant). Connor is such a good boy and but he has gone through some shit and can show guilt if he harmed other androids during his mission, so I like the idea of him holding on to his previous selfs, and learning from them, making him who he is now even if it causes guilt and trauma over his actions. CONNOR DEALING WITH SHIT AND TRYING TO REDEEM HIMSELF FOR BAD THINGS HE DID IS SO GOOD OK. This will deffinately all play a part in the Convin fic im writing and probably future fics. CONNOR IS A BABY WHO NEEDS LOVE.

[t-citurnity-moved]

HEY TALK ABOUT YOUR LOVES

Ohohohoho.

My thoughts are more or less about the boys, BUT I feel like I also need to provide context because this series has been such a huge part of my life.

So, therefore, let's start at the beginning.

GOD THIS GOT SO LONG AND I AM SO SORRY BUT I HAVE A LOT OF THOTS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I have been part of the fanbase (not gonna say fandom, because that implies I'm active at all in the d//m//c "community" when I absolutely am not) since before 2010. That's 10+ years of enjoyment in this series. 10+ years I've been holding onto my feelings because I wasn't sure if it was right to love fictional characters. I still wrote and roleplayed with other people who were also in the fanbase, because... well, writing OC / Canon at the time was the closest anyone could get to saying "I want to date this character and not be judged." (But we all know that even then, if the OC wasn't written a specific way then they'd be considered a sue / stu; don't even get me started there.)

I fell in love with Dante first. He was the main character up until Nero starred in D//M//C4! So why wouldn't I love him? The first piece of media in which I really broke into the series was the anime and that's only because I really loved anime at the time (now not so much, mostly because I don't have attention span, etc). And boy... ohoho boy. I loved him even more. I think it's partly because that was my first real look into the series that I love D//M//C2 so much, because I'm more inclined toward the ""edgy"" side of Dante; wacky wahoo pizza man is cool and all, but I also love retrospective Dante who's a bit serious. Doesn't mean he's not the same Dante, because he absolutely is. But I hate how the fanbase portrays him sometimes. (The same fanbase that hates D//M//C2 and probably hates the reboot too, BUT I'LL TOUCH UPON THAT IN A MOMENT.)

The fact that Dante can be a serious person when he needs to be (or even if he's like... killed his brother several times and is therefore entering into a depressive state because who tf wouldn't) seems lost on a lot of people and it makes me sad. Because when I first really started branching into the fandom, I was (and still am) the same way... I just feel like 2Dante and Anime Dante are just... more relatable? So I lean toward them more than anything because I can understand them more? Because I too have depression and struggle with it? (By no means am I saying that 4/5 Dante don't have depression, I just think at that point he deals with it differently. I have a lot of headcanon there and that in and of itself is a whole ass different discussion. I also think discovering that Nero is Vergil's son / his nephew also helps him handle his depression as well, because "wow... at least I still have some part of Vergil left, even if it is only his kid" plays a bit role in how Dante recovers, BUT THAT'S JUST WHAT I THINK.)

I even think 3Dante has some level of depression going on, even thouh that's the start of the series and it doesn't really start going downhill until after those events. I mean, losing his mother at a young age and also thinking he lost Vergil until, SURPRISE SURPRISE, Vergil invites him to a "bash" which is really just some ploy to gain power? I just think at that point, it's manageable for him; he doesn't struggle with it nearly as much as he does in 2 + Anime.  That being said, the fact that he's so """wacky wahoo""" also leads me to conclusion that, even if it is "manageable," he does still struggle at times and I feel probably overwhelms him at times, so he tries to manage BY being upbeat about things. Which, anyone who has depression knows, is so fucking difficult to do. The fact that Dante can keep going despite all this shit going on in his life makes ME feel like I can keep going.

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON VERGIL AND HIS PROBLEMS. Dude just wanted to be protected and loved.

Actually, LET ME get started on that. Because I have a lot of thots.

Vergil grew up believing their mother chose Dante over him. That she didn't try to save him. That Dante was more important to her than he was. He grew up with this inferiority complex because he didn't know WHY their mother never came to save him. He also grew up thinking he wasn't strong enough to save HER. That's why he actively sought out power, while believing humans were "weak." That's why he manifested this hatred for being half-human. Because he couldn't save his family and, for a long time, he was led to believe his mother didn't care for him nearly as much as she cared for Dante (IE. "saving" Dante, but not Vergil).

Vergil's thirst for power is just misdirected feelings toward his family. He should've been mad at demons for attacking them in the first place, but because he grew up believing what he did, it became hatred toward humans instead. That's why he hated Dante, too. In reality, I don't think he really "hates" Dante, just feels severely inferior (which he veils by """having""" a superiority complex instead of the opposite, which he actually has). I think he just had a lot of conflicted emotions that he was never able to work through. Which is why I love the idea that he and Dante, post-D//M//C5 could reconcile at some point. Because neither of them really hated each other, they just had conflicting viewpoints due to one event that go thrown out of proportion somewhere along the way. Vergil just wanted what Dante had, which he perceived as the love of their mother, because she "chose" to save Dante instead of him. In reality, she tried to go after Vergil too, but simply didn't survive. Vergil was entirely unaware of this, so obviously he'd be upset. It's the crux of all his problems.

Vergil HIMSELF even theorises what would happen if they switched places that day! He wonders what would happen if he and Dante's lives were swapped! (Which, TBH, would be a pretty neat AU, heheheheh.) Legit! "If our positions were switched... would I have your life? And you mine?" DUDE WANTED TO KNOW!!! He wanted to know what it was like to BE Dante, to be LOVED, to be PROTECTED by the ONE PERSON they had in their lives at the time! They only had their mother, so OF COURSE Vergil would be upset due to the circumstances! HE JUST WANTED TO BE PROTECTED AND LOVED.

3Vergil doesn't show much of this side of him, because he's just angry and going through a lot and he JUST wanted to be powerful enough that no one could hurt him any more. He would NEVER say this, but dude....... You cannot convince me this dude just wanted to be powerful to keep himself safe. To feel like he finally would've had enough power to protect the people he loves AND himself. He just didn't want to be hurt again. This is, by NO MEANS, an excuse for his actions. It's an explanation. His actions shouldn't be excused because of his ~ f e e l i n g s ~, but I firmly believe that post-D//M//C5, he could redeem himself for these actions. For everything he's done, he can realise it's wrong. He can grow to be a better person. He can reconcile with Dante and even be a good father to Nero. He can be better and I want to believe that he WOULD be better. After everything V went through, discovering that he doesn't really want to be the person he used to, Vergil can change and be better.

OOFIES. This has gone on long, BUT I STILL HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THE REBOOT BOYS THAT I STRUGGLE TO PUT INTO WORDS, SO BEAR WITH ME IF THIS SEEMS STUPID OR GARBLED.

Context for the reboot: It's basically a remake of the series that got poor reception because people struggle to accept change. :) I will not debate this and anyone who wants to come at me can eat my socks.

Dante 2.0, like original Dante, HAS PROBLEMS. He's an edgy punk bitch who has problems and he's so ugly I love him.

This dude went his entire life struggling with his identity as someone "human." At one point, he was so convinced he didn't have a heart that he ripped open his own chest to see if he did. Yeah. Dude has issues. But it's ok, because in game, he legitimately sets aside his own issues with people to save humanity. Dude's got such BDE.

People hate him, but I feel like they fail to realise what the hell he's been through. He's been through just as much shit as original Dante. Same goes for Vergil 2.0. These boys have been through SO MUCH, but people don't see that because "Nooo!! You can't just remake the series!!!" Meanwhile I'm like "hehe handsome nephilim boys go brrr."

I literally cannot begin to explain the amount of hate people have for the reboot and it makes me sad, because... like.... y'all.... don't realise... these dudes... went through so much shit..... and yeah... I get it... remake bad, original good, but dude.... my dude.... my bro.... you do not have to hate it that much.... calm down, it's just a video game....

My dude Dante grew up in the system because the foster homes and shit he got placed in were run by demons!!! So he'd lash out at them!!! He was violent because demons suck!! They killed his mom and enslaved his dad!!! Imagine!!! Being surprised by that!!! When you know what he went through!!! Damn, couldn't be me!!!

Vergil went through some shit too!!! Like!!! Yeah, he was adopted into a rich family and lived a pretty cushy life, but fact of the matter is!!! Their parents died and they had their memories WIPED when they were kids!!! Imagine!!! The distraught!!! When he (since he found out who he was long before Dante did) realised what had happened!!! When he remembered!! When he discovered he wasn't human!! My dude founded a whole ass group of demon hunting hactivists because he knew demons sucked and wanted to make the world a better place. It wasn't until after Mundus (big stinky demon man) died that he started realising how frail humans could be and decided to be an asshole about it.

I'm so sad that there will never be any more about the reboot, because fans decided to be assholes about it. I'm so sad that we'll never learn more about what happened to those boys. I'm so sad that we'll never be able to see whether they reconcile or even have the opportunity to.

Alas, I have to rely on heavy headcanon and personal re-write of the story to fix canon instead. :<

[b0x]

i hate that post that's like “we would've gotten a better trilogy if they'd just let rian johnson write all three films than playing hot potato with jj” like i get the point it's trying to make but you're forgetting that rj was fighting tooth and nail for the tlj r*ylo narrative since day 1 so you do realise we would've just gotten the same trilogy as we got now.......

further Thoughts on the trilogy as a whole and a few troc spoilers under the cut

also you KNOW that even if jj COULD have had a hand in saving it... there’s no saving a screenplay written by the guy who did the justice league films

No Comment. No Thoughts. Head Empty. everything post tfa was doomed from the start

have you SEEN the screenwriters for tfa? THAT’S why that one was so good, THAT’S why tfa succeeded as an excellent reboot of a long-dormant franchise. kasdan and arndt and jj should've been on for ALL THREE, and if they couldn’t, then a hiatus was the way to fucking go. rian never should have Touched it, never should have even Looked in its direction.

tfa had the essence of sw BECAUSE the essence of sw wrote it! tlj and tros isn’t sw!!!! 

they rly just tried to make Anakin..... 2! with kylo... but somehow... even Worse. you can’t make an anakin story Without showing kylo’s motives and morals - oh, except, you Did show his motives and morals, and they were in no way redeeming whatsoever! anakin had a whole ARC of complexity that allows for endless discussion on morality and justifiability that led him to earn his redemption. all kylo had was a blood tie to han and leia, which!!!! if anything!!!!!! made his motives and morals WORSE, knowing that he had the most IDEAL most loving and perfect upbringing and he still chose the dark side. that makes any love received from han or leia or luka or even fucking rey completely insignificant because we ALREADY KNOW what it means to him. all of this shit was so worthless!!!!!!!! fuck!

and i have a lot to say about rian johnson because i Cannot for the life of me believe the guy behind BRICK (2005) was taken on for tlj, WHILE TFA WASN’T EVEN FINISHED YET. i really didn’t think this had to be said but that is just NOT how you make a Trilogy. that is how you make Three Separate Films and guess what! that is exactly what we got! and it honestly saddens me to think that the guy behind the beautiful 6 minute music video ‘oh baby’ by lcd sound system, inspired by some of his greatest work in looper (and even brick!), would then take the absolute worst of his worst and apply that to a star wars franchise that desperately needed his best. and there’s something hilarious about that too, that you have this huge sandbox FULL of belief-suspending ridiculousness and STILL somehow make it fail? make it atrocious? that takes skill. it’s like that one post that was like “you have to ACTUALLY put EFFORT into making something this bad” like it’s no longer silly mistakes or lacklustre energy, this was ACTIVE sabotage.

the fact rian Had the Understanding of the core concepts of star wars right in his hands, but somehow completely missed the entire point of them? if you look at the films he screened to his story group during the development of tlj... this handful of culturally and historically significant war films that just seem like he screened for aesthetic and reference purposes only instead of actually exploring and analysing the importance and criticism of the exonerating war propaganda and racist source materials and using these films to inspire the actual groundwork of some of the root themes of current climates and today’s culture in a sw universe... i bet big bucks on the fact that twelve o clock high was only screened to inspire the air battle on crait (red salt planet) and because of ‘VIII Bomber Command’ because ha ha hee hee tlj is episode VIII and hoo hoo hoo *you’ve been gnomed.mp4* 

the general rule is this: when reading ANY report on tlj and tros and something like “the characters came first” is mentioned, just exit out the window, it’s already a botched article/thinkpiece.

i’m also thinking a lot about how arndt translated his first draft for tfa into a script for eight months and said he needed 18 more, which disney and jj said no to, so he left, and IMMEDIATELY after jj kept saying how relieved he was that the release date was delayed and gave him more time that he also needed. like.. you had your lesson then and there. did they learn from it? *disney forcing rian to write tlj at the same time as tfa was still being made* No!

i am ALSO thinking about how they had considered fincher, brad bird, jon favreau, del toro, even getting development suggestions by spielberg.......... and rian johnson is who they called up for tlj.... my head is... empty.

just give the fucking thing to taika waititi he understands the nuances of the socio-political climates of sw’s narratives built around a guise of a fun sci-fi fantasy adventure-drama. he understands. that’s literally the very definition of his style of writing and directing. Makes You Think Why The Mandalorian Is A Hit.... they already gave him 2 mandalorian episodes just give him the whole franchise i cant take it anymore. 

AND NOW THEY’RE GIVING RIAN JOHNSON A WHOLE NEW TRILOGY? RIAN? RIAN JOHNSON? THEY’RE GIVING HIM A WHOLE NEW TRILOGY AFTER WHAT HAPPENED... HERE. SURE.. OKAY . ALRIGHT. IT’S HONESTLY MIND-BLOWING. THE THOUGHT PROCESS THAT GOES INTO CONSECUTIVE DECISIONS SUCH AS THIS. like i would LOVE to see footage of the board meeting for this. no sarcasm i am GENUINELY curious to hear what was said to greenlight this. i have GOT to know what post tros board meetings about this will be like. 

anyway! op of that post! i will be thinking about you when the new rj trilogy drops!

what’s worse about this whole trilogy is that.. they Had it. they had it in the bag with tfa. they HAD the original idea they HAD the power to make a sw trilogy set to current climates JUST LIKE THE PREVIOUS TRILOGIES DID, cos that’s what sw is all about! what it was ALWAYS about! a space opera reflective of current times and climates. but disney turned it into a Keeping Up With The Skywalkers reality tv show that’s nothing more than a sci-fi fantasy light show and vfx flex to keep the brand alive, and personally, i think that’s ultimately one of the reasons it’s so hated and why it failed (of course rampant misogyny/sexism, racism, homophobia under the guise of geek culture within the sw community and in the production itself is a whole other discussion and is another humongous part of why it’s hated and why it failed)

and it’s why hamill had every right to criticise tlj the way he did with rotj, why boyega and isaac and ridley had Every right to their commentary on their distaste of the second and third instalments. how the only reason they’d rescind what they said was due to their contracts. how their silence was necessary to squeeze every last dollar out of consumers because god forbid a potential boycott due to their own star’s “controversial” (Correct) judgements and disapprovals

they really had it in the bag..

a female protagonist who could be a chosen one regardless of her blood and family ties, a protagonist that reflected the importance and validity of found family, and the idea that Anyone can be a “Skywalker”, a symbol of hope and a fighter for justice and goodness and love in the world, especially in the darkest of times... a young woman being just as powerful, as Chosen, as essential as Luke and Anakin were... a narrative that couldve been commentary on the necessity of women needing to do double the work, make double the effort, to earn the same spot of her counterparts. and with the second and third instalments, especially NOW, with the growth and vocalisation of the MeToo movement, the narrative of strength to speak out against abusers, to fight back and to thrive, a symbol of justice, to teach that men such as kylo who refuse consequence, who actively and soberly choose violence and manipulation for the strengthening of the self, who will ignore and deny all opportunities to better the self, to know their guilt, to make up for their actions, are the ones who are irredeemable. that people like him are not owed any time or understanding or belief in, when that belief perpetuates the violent and oppressive nature they are indefinitely attracted to and make themselves defined by.

a black hero raised by violence and refusing to be defined by it and unlocking the force within as a symbol of that strength within over encompassing goodness, to have a hero that breaks that harmful narrative stereotype that black characters have had for decades and still continue to do so, to have a voice and a hero that fights with love and kindness, that is able to find family and support in a place beyond what he believes he is allowed to have, the significance of a hero being deemed a “traitor”, a term that holds weight in the shame of seeking your own independence and identity, versus the cathartic empowerment of thriving in the independence you make for yourself in the end. a black hero that defeats his oppressors, oppressors that belong to a policing fascist regime, a faction that has always from the very beginning been a depiction of nazis, of authoritarian nationalism. 

a canonical gay latino man freedom fighter, being the best in his career as a literal symbol of hope for the resistance, a literal symbol of the climates for lgbt folk in regards to resisting those same fascist nazi regimes, resisting laws against lgbt existence, lgbt employability, lgbt success. a man who grew into a legacy of heroism, surrounded by it, something that could have been powerful poignant commentary on the necessity to sacrifice lives so others like his didn’t have to, the very narrative to fight for a world that the innocents and the ones he loves could have peace in, could have a future in, could Exist in. poe fights in the skies because he knew damn well the effect of believing in someone that is human, like you, instead of a force that is bigger than anything you could ever know or believe in. poe brings humanity and realism to an otherwise fanatical universe of magic and religion and chaos of endless war that means nothing, that is based on nothing. poe is commentary on fighting a fight that you have no choice but to fight, that you are forced to fight from birth just for the very act of Existing. his humanity and realism is a significant grounding necessity for our two protagonist heroes and it is appalling that he’d just be discarded the way he was, shallowly played off as sideline comic relief, much like lgbt narratives and characters are expressed in pretty much ANY media today, so it comes as no surprise. 

the three most vital narratives that should have been told in this trilogy but no of course not (disney voice) gimme my Fackin MANEY. it’s the silence of marginalised voices cleverly disguised under hollow face-value representation.

honestly, even rey being blood-related to palpatine as his granddaughter was such a strong and perfect set-up for The Narrative That Could’ve Been TM, but instead they had palpatine make it a whole weird pseudo-marriage thing that was just so. backwards and unbelievably shocking that it was in a 2019 era star wars film.

wow marriage story and the rise of skywalker really is the same movie huh

yes we wanted a grey jedi protagonist hero that gets tempted by the dark side but this was the absolute worst way that could’ve been explored. like if they were just gonna recycle old characters and old storylines and make them worse they could’ve at least looked at darth maul or asajj ventress and the nightsisters

and NO WONDER oscar looked so DEFEATED every time finnpoe was mentioned cos he fought for that shit tooth and nail and they? ? ? they gave him a funny ha ha hee hee hoo hoo straight flirt scene? ? with like his ex or something, where they imply they get back together? COMPLETELY destroying the ENTIRE narrative of his character that was so lovingly built and developed in the Official Canon Comic Series About Him ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

NO WORDS. there are NO WORDS. head EMPTY. no not even empty there's NO HEAD at all i am BEHEADED

finn had NOTHING in this film. Nothing. how are you gonna make him a joint-protag with rey and give him Nothing? 

anyone with brain cells knows that what finn truly was trying to tell rey the entire film was that he was force sensitive, i will take this to my grave, and that should’ve built up to this grand reveal where they empower each other and take down palpatine and kylo as one, as the joint-protagonists they were Literally Fucking Written And Built Up To Be. they gave EVERY antagonist to REY. what was the POINT. rey had her significant clash with kylo across two films, hell, even in this one (before the Final one), tros was the penultimate film about her family, her bloodline, so her significant final battle should have been with palpatine a la rotj. the person who DESERVED to clash with and take down kylo once and for all was FINN, even a TODDLER would understand WHY. 

but considering everything, i would take the thing finn was trying to tell her the entire film being that he loves her ANY DAY if it meant whatever the fuck we got instead Never Happened.

finn got made general and not only was it a blink-and-you-miss bit but it adds NOTHING, yes it’s something to celebrate and of Course he deserves it, but it holds zero significance to him as a character. like i mentioned earlier, when han was made general, that never defined him. he was still han solo and it took a Dozen other significant scenarios and twists to make him a significant and vital memorable character. han solo isn’t known for “being a general”. he’s known for being han fucking solo, a critical puzzle piece in the taking down of the empire, a scamp-turned-deeply-loyal friend and lover, a man who not only got his own personal storyline concluded to the level it deserved to be (the repercussions of his bounty hunter life, the importance of the falcon, his relationships with lando, luke, and leia, his triumph over his captors even when it was luke and leia who freed him). 

side note, this was maybe the one thing that tfa screwed up, the entire point and development of the original trilogy, it sort of felt a bit moot with how they put a “twist” on han, leia and luke’s relationship, especially when it came to kylo. but i think there are some forgivable aspects to it for the sake of the new trio, and that’s why those executive decisions kind of Worked! this is, of course, for another discussion bc this is about the new trilogy.

leia IS known for being a general because part of her entire storyline revolves around it and the significance of it!!! which is why finn being made general just feels so... i don’t know! just completely disrespectful, to both him as a character, and to generals who are defined by this position (such as, hello!!!!! poe!!! poe fucking dameron!!!! a man raised by the resistance!!! a man who’s entire life and prior legacy was entirely dedicated to the resistance!!!! him being made general MEANT something). it’s like rubbing salt in the wound of the fact that finn has been discarded as the protagonist he was meant to be, the story, development and conclusion he never got, just to slap general on him and call it a day and then write about his actual development in a novel that 3/4ths of the ppl who watch the films will never read. 

and that's just the core story stuff!!! do NOT get me started on the general lore proposed in this shit. i’m talking about the force ghost nonsense and the convenience of some of the timing choices (rewriting the way death works in sw, claiming that rey “didn’t really die/wasn’t really dead” since she didn’t fade which in itself completely destroys the entire plot they were going for with the resurrection scene, the timing of the fades themselves bullshitted for “dramatic cinematic purposes”), the entire palpatine storyline, the bullshit with snoke and the lack of explanation, all these one-off characters that have the lore capacity of an overwatch character when instead they could have developed the ones that already existed and had the opportunity to be fleshed out and CARED about

the FACT that HUX (hux!!!!!!!!!) had a more interesting storyline in all three films with a total screentime of maybe 10 minutes than these one-offs whose only purpose is to stroke the cock of sw nostalgia seekers and lore aficionados. to make these characters so inaccessible that to fully appreciate them, fans have to dive into hundreds of different novels and comics and games and whatnot. like if you make it so that the Only way someone can experience a character’s full essence is by reading their wiki page then you’ve failed in creating them, in writing them, in including them, in using them, in whatever them. you’ve just failed as a creator.

and the ONLY reason hux got a reaction (a barebones reaction but a reaction nonetheless) out of me was because they essentially just turned him into phasma 2 which is SO telling of the climate of this trilogy.

it’s a recycled trilogy. that’s all it is. it’s a recycled series of films where tfa’s originality was completely entirely scrapped and ignored because rian wanted to write his personal fanfiction more than he wanted to continue the story he was given, and did everything he could to insert that whenever he could, and kennedy, of course, let him, because she realised giving herself indulging content other than fifty shades and radfem articles that she could jerk off to was more important than telling a critical story where its wonder and valuable, influential morals could’ve stayed in this generation’s minds for years to come.

if you want to watch tros just watch the prequel trilogy instead you'll get the same story except actually good.

[fapangel]

So you finally watched The Last Jedi. Thoughts?

It is worse than I could have possibly imagined.Sit down and buckle up, because this one’s a doozy. (Spoilersabound.)

AsI’ve previously detailed, it was clear the movie was a trainwreckeven before I watched it due to simple structural issues with thebasic plot, much of it inherited from The Force Awakens (which I didsee.) To wit, the movie is a sequel to the original trilogy, butcompletely ignores everything that happenedin the original trilogy. Having seen The Last Jedi, it’s nowblatantly clear thatthe new trilogy  was intended as a reboot - but that’s impossible todo when it’s shamelessly mining the OT for characters, concepts, andinformation. I’m not talking about the shameless density of nostalgiareferences and even aped plots in The Force Awakens, either - I’mtalking about The Last Jedi considered in a vacuum. (Just one exampleis Leia’s use of force power to pull herself back into her ship,which makes no sense without the original trilogy context.) Giventhe high praise some of my friends had paid the show, I’d been opento the possibility of it having merit as a movie, ifnot as a Star Wars sequel, butits inability toescape the structural/sequel critique presaged its complete and utterfailures in writing.

Thisis a point I must make explicit: TheLast Jedi is such a horribly written movie that it transcends merefailure; it is actively harmful and offensive, “problematic” inthe sense that the much-maligned “SJWs” use the term. Thisis the unassailable core of the offense that The Last Jedi (“TLJ”)offers. Much of what I’m about to bitch about, especially anythingto do with pre-established Star Wars canon, could have been glossedover, or even forgiven, if the core storytelling was solid enough. Ifit looks flashy and cool, adheres to rules that the audience knowsfrom prior films, oreven rules the film itself laid down earlier, anyaction sequence or detail of spaceships and tech can be made to work.Star Wars is classic Space Opera centered on Space Wizards; youcan get away with a lotifyou’re making one big concession to enable the plot and not justjerking the audience around every five minutes. But TLJ not only doesthat, it also has no story worth making concessions to enable. Theinescapably lethal flaw of TLJ is that none of the characters areworth a damn, and their arcs simply do not work.

That’sit. Without that, you have no story, period. Withthat,any number of flaws, errors, and plot holes might be forgiven, if thecore story is strong enough. Even if the core story isn’tstrongenough, one could at least acknowledge that the movie wasn’t a totaldisaster, it was just dragged down by too many errors, a death of athousand cuts. TLJ manages to have allof the ancillary problems, andno character story at all to make it worth a flying fuck.

Thiswon’t be a comprehensive dismantling of TLJ, as there’s more thanenough out there - I suggest seeing MauLer’sreviews, either the 30 minute “Unbridled Rage” or thethree-part,multi-hourtakedown for a truly exhaustive treatment. This is mostly Planefag’sPerspective (becuase people like it when I say the funny fuqq wordsapparently,) an explanation to my writer friends (which they’ll  findinteresting, as it’s rare for our opinions on works of fiction todiverge so strongly), and presentation of what seems to be aheretofore unmade argument - that TLJ is morally reprehensible bydint of the biases, prejudices and twisted ideas it perpetuates.

Yes,it is that fuckingbad. ButI’m saving the best for last. In order of magnitude, why TLJ is apile of steaming, utter shit:

NOT ONE SINGLEFUCKING CHARACTER ARC WORKS AT ALL.

Thisis the core, unforgivable failing - the complete absence of anyfucking story. This isespecially notable with Rey and Kylo, the lead characters of themovie around which everything else revolves. WhenRey and Kylo first spoke to each other across lightyears, I stood upand shouted “THE FORCEIS NOT A FUCKING SKYPE CALL!” Iwould’ve forgiven the Space Wizard liberties had the interactionsworked, but my wrathproved sadly prescient, as Kylo and Rey’s every interactionthereafter seemed like two teenagers awkwardly flirting over Skype…except they had far lesschemistry than that. As I write this, I find it difficult to evenrecall what they fucking talked about- the first time was Kylo surprised it was happening and Rey callinghim an evil murdering prick (for good reason,) the second time sherang him up when he had his shirt off and he told her to “let go ofthe past, kill it if you must,” and the third time she told him shesensed conflict in him, they touched hands through The Force, and she“saw his future” through this, because Rey Is Very Good At TheForce.

Onthe basis of these three interactions, Reygoes from Kylo Ren’s sworn enemy to moist and thirsty for histhrobbing red lightsaber. I shit you fucking negative. Uponthese three brief conversations,the central character story of the entire movie rides- and they come nowhere close topulling it off. There’s so many reasons for this that it’s hard tosummarize them. Rey’s shown to be pining for her family again(despite having moved past this in her character arc in The ForceAwakens, but Rian Johnson can’t keep shit consistent in his ownmovie, much less thesame fucking trilogy.) She’s angry at Kylo for killing his father,Han, whom she was adopting as a father figure herself (their firstchat takes place after Luke asks after Han and Rey accuses Kylo ofit, so this is expressly brought forward into TLJ.) So when Kylo ripsinto Rey over her parents; pointing out that they were white trashthat sold her into servitude for drinking money and never cared abouther, before telling her to kill her past, he’sonly reminding her that he had something she never did and alwayswanted (a loving family,) and that he fucking murdered saidfamily. There’s no wayRey could empathize with Kylo over this.

Butwe’re supposed to ignore this, and believe that Rey now feels someempathy for Kylo because she 1. saw him with his shirt off and 2.touched his hand and Sensed The Good In Him Through The Force.

Whata load of complete and utter fucking horseshit.

Thereare other arcs, and they all fall flat on their fucking faces aswell. For starters, Luke.Luke’s arc, especially, cannotbe insulated from continuity criticisms because he’s the mainfucking character of the Original Trilogy, andTLJ leans heavily onthat lineage for its setup. The climax of Luke’s character arc wasachieving the seemingly impossible - redeeminghis father, Darth Vader, who had fallen to evil decades ago andcommitted untold numbers of atrocities. Andin TLJ, Luke actually contemplates CHOPPINGHIS OWN NEPHEW’S FUCKING HEAD OFF becausehe “sees darkness in him.” The man who’s crowning, definingachievement was redeeming his Father from the dark side isconsidering NEPOTICIDEbecause the kid mightfall.

Evenif you ignore that, why Luke’sinsists that“the Jedi should end” is never explained, as he never says itoutright and never finishes a single lesson with Rey which issupposed to teach her why.Why does he extrapolate hisfailure to mean the entire galaxy isbetter off without them? His interactions with Rey accomplishnothing; he basically tells her to fuck off for a while, decides to“teach her,” promptly tells her she’s supor haxx0rz powerful likeKylo, watches her master lightsaber-ing because she knows how toswing a metal quarterstaff, and is then told by Yoda himself thatthere’s nothing in the ancient Jedi tomes Rey needs, because she’s sofucking special she knows it all already. Yoda fucking torchesthe ancient temple-tree-library to make his point that Luke’s always“staring at the horizon instead of at what’s in front of him” andthat he needs to focus on the here and now; implicitly saying thatRey was right, and he shouldhump his ass out there to “face down the First Order with a lasersword”…

…but instead of doing that, he literally phonesit in from half a galaxy away with The Force, puttinghimself in (almost) no danger, but fucking dies anyways,meaning he died as he lived; agrouchy old coward who never did face down his own apprentice andanswer for his mistakes. Luke’sarc makes no fucking sense, achievesnothing, and goes fucking nowhere.

Finnand Rose was portrayed as a budding relationship, except there wasn’ta single fucking hint of it being romantic till she kissed him at theend of the show after a pat speech about “saving what we love.”In the beginning of the movieshe tazes Finn (yes, the black man got tazed) for trying to skip townin an escape pod, which she found personally offensive because hersister had just died in the opening battle to defend The Resistance.At the end of the movie, Finn is willing to sacrifice his life todefend that same Resistance, his character having actually grown -and Rose rams him off-course before he can do so, despitehaving tazed him earlier in the movie for dishonoring hersister’s sacrifice to defend the exact same cause. Atbest, this means shewas only truly concerned with her personal loss, which would make hera self-centered, selfish cunt, willing to sacrifice the lives of manyothers (and potentially the freedom of the entire Galaxy) for her ownemotional needs. But it’s not portrayed as a selfish decision - it’sportrayed as the right one,which taps into an entire larger problem of its own I’ll touch onlater. It’s the same problemthat’s entirely responsible for crippling Poe’s character arc. Finnand Rose were simply dealt the coup de grace by it, as theirpreceding scenes together were sparse; involving them coming up witha plan to save the rebel fleet (seconds after Rose had tazed him,bro, and had no reason to do a 180 and start trusting him without anexplanation that he never did give,) a monologue about how shitRose’s life was and How Capitalism Is Bad on the casino planet, and abrief “well we’re fucked and by extension THE ENTIRE GALAXY but westuck it to the man, how cool,” and Rose has a moment where shesets an animal free and says that was superior to making baddieshurt, setting up her closing line later.

Andthat’s it. That’s fucking it. Comparethis to Princess Leia in the original trilogy. Her response to aStormtrooper walking into her cell - someone who she has every reasonto assume is there to take her to a torture session (as she wasclearly shown being tortured some minutes earlier in the movie,) isto comment wryly on his height. Andseconds after breaking out of the jail cell, she’s shouting orders atpeople, spraying the air with energy from a stolen blaster rifle, andin fact leading themout of the immediate danger (“Someone’s got to get us out ofhere!”) And during this entire sequence herrepartee and rivalry with Han Solo is already being established, the“excuse me Princess” cranked to the max. The friction that beginstheir relationship is Han butting heads with her before witnessingthat she’s dangerous,composed, and competent in emergency and combat situations. Notonly is their relationship developed during actionsequences of real consequence, as well as down-time chats, but italso takes three entire moviesto build to a climax. Comparedto that writing, Rey jumping on Kylo’s dick after three Skype callsand Rose giving one rusty fuckabout Finn are egregiously bad.If you criticize the OT andthink TLJ is superior, you have a lot toanswer for, right there.

However,Finn himself had potential - if only because his character was theleast tampered with, so one could assume his character developmentfrom TFA was intact, and TLJ’s script hinted gently in support of itand never against it. He started TFA just wanting to run like abitch, and by the end had come to care, at least, about defendingRey. He was trying to hare off after Rey in the beginning of TLJ, andby the end had committed fully to a cause, the opposite cause of theone he’d abandoned at the opening of TFA. It’snever really covered why hegrows like this - at the very beginning he goes from wanting to legit to forming a plan with Rose to save the fleet instantly. He wastalking his way out of being shoved in the brig at the time, but henever takes a subsequent option to duck out; in the space of a fewseconds he’s committed himself to a dangerous recon mission that willend with infiltrating an enemy capital ship withapparently no qualms whatsoever. If this was ever covered indialogue, it was so brief I completely missed it - and this isprobably why his arc “worked” the best; it wasn’t the focus, so Ididn’t care much about how it happened… plus, by the end, Finn isthe only halfway relatable character at all, beating Rose by alandslide because we have awhole movie of development for him (TFA) as opposed to one briefboo-hoo monologue from Rose (oh and her sister died boohoo.) He’s nota fucking Mary Sue like Rey, he’s not entirely certain about his rolein things, and so at the end, when he makes the decision tosuicide-run the Very Big Gun, there’s actually some investment andaudience-character empathy there. Finn,alone, is the only character we can empathizewith.

Andthen fucking Rose putson a stellar display of Asian Driving Skills and robshim of his moment,because-

EVERYBODY WITHA PENIS IN THIS MOVIE IS ALWAYS WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING ALWAYS,BECAUSE FUCK MEN

Thisis not an exaggeration. In my priorcomments I mentioned that just because everyone saidthis was the case didn’t mean Ibelieved it, because I’ve seen the CHUDs hurl the same complaints atobjectively excellent movies (the latest Mad Max, forinstance,) and that’s before theGamer/pol/Gate crowd made counter-bitching at the SJW bitching apastimefor casual amusement. I wasexpecting some token casting, some throwaway GRRL POWER lines, etc.

Instead,I got the most misandrist movie I have ever seen.

It’snot just a matter ofwriting every male character to be stupid and every female characterto be smart - the laws of probability themselves bendover backwards to make everything a woman does the right choice, andeverything a man does the wrong one… except even when the Universedoesn’t do that, theman gets his ass chewed out anyways for making the rightcall.

Butthat came later. My first exposure to the misandry came in the formof Admiral Holdo, a purple-haired, ballgown-clad fleet Admiral wholooked like she walked out of Tumblr SJW Central Casting. But despiteThe Internet having named this character as egregiously bad manytimes, nothing, nothing prepared me for the actualperformance.

LauraDern deliberately portrays Holdo as a venomous, imperiousbully.

Onehas to actually see the performance to appreciate howdeliberate and well-done it is. Laura Dern crosses her arms, doesn’tface the person she’s addressing, literally looks down her nose whenshe does, and even does that particular kind of sneer whereone bites their lower lip and looks at someone like they’re dogshit.Laura Dern’s delivery perfectly matches the scripted lines - sheresponds to a straightforward request for information from Daemon Poeby insulting him, then attacking him- “My plan? Like yourplan which destroyed all our bombers?” She then proceeds to attackhis manhood, calling him a stupid little gung-ho flyboy, and advisinghim to “stick to his post and follow my orders” with the exactsneering tone of someone saying “sit down and be a good littleboy.” The soft-spoken volume of the delivery just drives it home -it’s the “oh, honey” condescending shitpost meme made manifestand played entirely straight.

Theworst part of this performance is that Hold is supposed tobe an Admiral, a military officer. Poe eve drops a line about herbeing the hero of such and such battle to establish that she’ssupposedly respected and famous - and then she proceeds to shredthat impression by acting like anything but a militaryofficer. Captain Janeway on Star Trek: Voyager wasn’t verynice - in fact, she could be an outright rude asshole - but shealways sounded like a Captain when Kate Mulgrew delivered herlines. She didn’t deliberately humiliate or insult people by saying“sit down like a good little boy;” she’d say “I’m the Captain,get the fuck off my bridge before I brig your ass forinsubordination.” That’s how the military works; there is achain of command, and those who challenge it are reminded thatthey’re pissing on God’s leg, and God does not fuck around. Todeliberately portray Holdo as literal stereotype of a “nastywoman” suggests that Rian Johnson actually thinks this is what a“strong woman” should look like. And in fact, Laura Dern saidthis explicitly:

Speaking about her character’sstylish-yet-firm leadership, Dern told VanityFair: “[Rian is] saying something that’s been atrue challenge in feminism. Are we going to lead and be who we are aswomen in our femininity? Or are we going to dress up in a boy’sclothes to do the boy’s job? I think we’re waking up to what wewant feminism to look like.”

So apparently CaptainJaneway wasn’t a real woman, because women simply can’t beauthoritative and direct, and if they are, they’re just playing asthose toxic men. From the director’s point of view, a “strongwoman” is a viscous, venomous bully who replies to peoplerequesting information by insulting, mocking, humiliating andsneering at them instead of firmly asserting their lawful authorityand citing their own reputation for competence.

Rian Johnson bothdirected and wrote the movie, so in this one scene, everythinghe believes is coming out - the epitome of an entire plot ruledby the iron fist of misandrist horseshit. The scene itself isan example. The movie opens with the Resistance evacuating a planetas the First Order fleet (led by a massive dreadnought with an“autocannon”) closes in. Poe Dameron, the aforementioned “flyboy”attacks and destroys the dreadnought, against Leia’s orders, just asit is explicitly shown to be locking its Big Scary Gun ontoLeia’s command cruiser (there’s even a cut to Leia’s face toemphasize the point.) There’s nothing to suggest that Leia’s cruiserwould’ve gone to lightspeed before then if not for Poe’s attack;despite him landing in a hurry, we know X-Wings arehyperspace-capable themselves (within this movie, in fact, as we’reshown an X-Wing underwater on Luke’s island; presumably his ridethere,) and as a Captain and, apparently, the Resistance’s fieldcommander, Poe would know the rally point the Resistance isevacuating to.

The movie itselfshows that Poe saved the command cruiser, and with it, the entirecommand staff of the Resistance - and for this he is first demoted byLeia for disobeying orders, and then viciously insulted by Holdo whenhe simply asks her for information. When the First Order follow theResistance through hyperspace with some newly-invented trackingdevice, Kylo Ren and his fellow Spess Fighters zoom in and blow upthe cruiser’s launch bay with torpedo-like missiles… and are thenimmediately ordered to retreat because the capital ships “can’tcover them that far away.” This makes absolutely no fuckingsense, as in the battle scene immediately prior, Poe attackedthe dreadnought to take out its “surface cannons” to clear theway for the Resistance’s bomber ships to attack, and the captain ofsaid ship explicitly says that those guns can’t hit fightersand that they should have their own fighters out there - “fiveminutes ago,” no less, as if lampshading the plot convenientincompetence makes it okay. And since two torpedo-like missilesutterly destroy the command cruiser’s launch bay, you can surmise theFirst Order doesn’t require huge, plodding, and stupidly vulnerable“bombers” as the Resistance used to take out the dreadnought.Said dreadnought didn’t have any visible shield protection during thefirst battle; (especially obvious because we’re later shown capitalship fire hitting the shielding of the command cruiser with verydistinctive special effects,) and in fact the command cruiserexplicitly “focuses its shields aft” to fend off thepursuers capital-class weaponry, just to create the opening for Kyloto nuke the hangar bay (and blast Leia into space as well.) Thereis absolutely no fucking reason the First Order fighter-bomberscouldn’t have finished off the command cruiser right then and there,but we’re simply shown Kylo’swingmen being shot down (by what, we never see,) as he’s told “theycan’t cover him out there” as an excuse. The movieviolates its own rules just to take away Poe’s X-Wing and put Holdoin charge.

Andthis is just the fucking beginningof the Universe itselfbending over backwards to invalidate everythinganyone with a penisdoes. Poe is the one that authorizes Finn and Rose’s sidequest tofind a “master codebreaker” at the Gold Saucer (to sneak on thebad guy’s ship to disable their tracker so the fleet can escape,) buttheir plan fails because Fuck Anyone With A Penis. But that’s not theoffensive part. Earlier, Poe sees Holdo’s fueling the transports, andangrily points out that said transports will be sitting ducks for theenemy’s guns. He asks Holdo againfor a plan, and shefeeds him some fucking bullshit non-answer about “hope being aspark that lights a fire.” With the entireResistance Fleet nowdown to one cruiser (outof three starting ships), Poe intelligently determines that Holdo isfucking useless and stages a mutiny so he can see his own planthrough. Holdo defeats her captors by not getting shot the moment shetwitches and winning a point-blank firefight with much younger combattroops because fuck you. Nowback in command, she sees off Leia (just awake after her impromptuspace-walk) and on thetransports, Leia tells Poe that “Holdo knows the First Order won’tbe scanning for small ships like this.”

Yes.That’s the explanation. Poe Dameron - the fleet’s combat commanderand fighter pilot, someone who’s fucking job isto understand the capabilities of the ships in their fleet - didn’tknow this, but Admiral Holdo did because she has a vagina andtherefore is perfect. They’re boarding the transports to “slipaway” to another planet - visiblethrough the fucking window - andyet the First Order - WHOWATCHED THESE PEOPLE EVACUATE THE LAST PLANET ON THESE TRANSPORTS -“won’t know to lookfor small ships like these.”

Butwait - it gets worse. Finn and Rose’s mission failed, not becausethey were simply caught by security or because they were attemptingsomething that Ben Kenobi, an experienced Jedi knight had to give hislife to accomplish in Ep. 4 whenthe enemy was letting them go, butbecause a traitor betrayed them, who also, conveniently, tells thefirst order about the transports, so they’re revealed by a“decloaking scan” (which implies the transports have cloakingdevices; i.e. an inherent designed ability of the vessels, not just asmaller sensor signature inherent to their size, ergo something POEDEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN ABOUT.) TheFirst Order starts blasting transports out of the sky, and of coursethis is all Poe’s fault.

Andthen there’s the Robbing of Finn. Admiral Holdo kamikazes the commandcruiser into the First Order fleet with the hyperdrive (itself afucking massive, retarded plot hole to end all plot holes), thussacrificing herself to Save The Resistance. And yet when Finnattempts to do THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING not20 minutes later in the movie; a kamikaze self-sacrifice to save theentire Resistance, Rose rams into him to stop because “we shouldsave what we love instead of destroy what we hate.” This line isdelivered as the Big Gun blows up the base’s doors, thus sealing theResistance’s Fate… but wait! They all escape through a back doorbecause Rey shows up just in time to use her never-trained,never-practiced Force powers to clear a rockslide for them. Rose hadno way of knowing this would happen; meaning her ramming of Finn was,as far as she knew, condemning everyoneto death and her andFinn, at best, tocapture and execution by the First Order. But as usual, the Plotitself bends over backwards to make her choice the correct one, andFinns the wrong one.

Shortlyafter this, Poe “completes his character arc” by acting on whatLeia told him (“you have to run not fight sometimes”) andparroting that fucking arrogant bully bitch Holdo’s fortune-cookieAesop about sparks lighting fires, finally acknowledging the WisdomOf The Females, despite everychoice he made in this movie beingthe objectively correct ones, given the knowledge that he as acharacter possessed.

Andwe haven’t even talked about Rey yet.

Ohmy fucking god, Rey.

Reyis the biggest fucking Mary Sue I have ever seen. This,like every other blunt statement in this piece, is not anexaggeration, as much as it saddens me. Rey can fail at nothingshe attempts. Rey has towork for absolutely nothing she gains. Rey has as much raw power asKylo, at least (by Luke’s own judgment,)and she is moreskilled than he is at lightsaber fighting as evidenced by her savingKylo afew times during the throne room fight. This,despite having notraining in the weapon(which has no mass and can lop off her limbs easily, unlike the metalquarterstaff she’s experienced with) compared to Kylo, who trainedunder Luke himself foryears before moving on to whoever the fuck Snoke was supposed to be.Rey can just touch Kylo’shand and “see his future” isn’t all dark, when the much moreexperienced Luke did the same and only saw darkness. Rey can temptKylo to betray his master and move towards the light after threefucking awkward Skype calls. WhenLuke ignored his master and left in the middle of his training torescue his friends, he got his fucking ass kicked, his handcut off, and his lightsaber lost. WhenRey does the exact same thing, SHE BEATS LUKE MOTHERFUCKINGSKYWALKER IN A MELEE FIGHT, FLIES OFF INTO SPACE, AND SUCCEEDS ATTURNING EDGELORD MCSITHBOI AT LEAST HALFWAY AND SAVES THE ENTIRERESISTANCE BY LEVITATING A WHOLE FUCKING ROCKSLIDE WITH NO TRAINING,WHEN LUKE, WHO WAS ACTIVELY BEING TRAINED, STRUGGLED TO MERELY STACKONE ROCK ON ANOTHER AND COULDN’T HOIST AN X-WING THAT WEIGHED LESSTHAN THAT WHOLE ROCKSLIDE PUT TOGETHER.

Reyis a stupid boring nothing, who’s emotions and struggles I can’t finda single fuck to give about because she’s never in any realdanger, never has to work for anything she gets, and never developsas a person at all. I didn’t criticize her character arc because shenot only lacks one, she’s arguably not even a character at all -there’s seemingly no limit to her abilities, no flaws or pitfalls forher character, since everything she does turns out to be the rightcall (sound familiar?) and only the barest suggestion of whatpersonal goals she seeks (and those aren’t sold one fucking bit bythe story development.) For all effects and purposes Rey is a walkingavatar of the Plot itself, or as Rian seems to call it, The Force.

FuckRey and the bantha she rode in on.

THE PLOT IS THE MOSTNONSENSICAL, LAZY PILE OF FUCKING SHIT EVER PUT TO PAPER BY MORTALMAN

Muchof the plot’s problems originate from what I described above; thevery rules of the universe bending over backwards to serve RianJohnson’s twisted misandrist worldview. But they don’t stop there,by a fucking long shot.

Muchhate has been thrown at those “bombers” in the movie’s opening,but as I said before, TLJ cannot stand on its own even in relationto itself. Ignoring all of pre-existing Star Wars canon, eventhings belonging to the “new movies” like Rogue One, within TLJitself, fighter-bombers are shown delivering grievous damage to acapital ship when Kylo’s wingmen blow the shit out of Leia’s bridge,using torpedo-like missiles that can strike at a distance, launchedfrom fast, maneuverable craft. Said cruiser’s bridge was explicitlyunshielded at the time, since its shields were “focused aft” tofend off turbolaser fire - something that’s shown with distinctivespecial effects that were totally absent when Poe was blasting lasercannons off the First Order Dreadnought in the beginning (ergo, itwas unshielded for some reason.) So the movie itself has shownthat unshielded targets can get the shit blown out of them byfighter-bombers firing torpedoes and that the dreadnaught wasunshielded.

Ionly mention this because it really pissed me off personally, andbecause it showcases Rian Johnson’s dogshit sense of drama andaesthetics, as he had a hardon for “WWII bombers” and apparentlythought it’d make for a better, tenser combat scene than Y-Wingsweaving and dodging through AA fire and enemy fighters like VT-8making their courageous, doomed run at the Kido Butai atMidway. The actual plot itself doesn’t have “holes,” asthat implies an otherwise cohesive structure with missing bits. Theplot is 90% holes and 10% substance, a sieve trying to hold meaning.

Theentire movie’s plot is set up by a “low speed chase,” theResistance fleet fleeing from the First Order’s fleet at sublightvelocities, because the First Order is using a “hyperspace tracker”that’ll allow them to chase the Resistance at FTL anyways. TheResistance’s cruisers are faster, which allows them to pull out oflethal range of their enemies, but - as a First Order officer says -“they’re faster and lighter but they can’t get away from us.”

Thismakes no fucking sense. If they’re faster - even by a smidgen -they’re faster. If they can pull out of laser cannon range tostart with, they can keep pulling out of range. They mightsimply maintain range once clear, to save fuel (because ships needfuel and they’re low, of course - something never, ever mentionedbefore in any Star Wars film ever,) but this makes no sense when youconsider that the objective of Admiral Holdo (which she won’t tell tofucking anyone) is to reach a planet with an old Rebel base with atransmitter powerful enough to “contact our allies in the Outer Rimand call for help.” In which case it’d make sense to haul ass forsaid planet, so they have some time to call for help and wait for itsarrival without the First Order launching a ground assault almost assoon as they land, right?

Butwait! Rey delivers herself to the First Order’s flagship via zippingin from Hyperspace with the Millennium Falcon, very close - beggingthe question of why the First Order (apparently not low on fuel)can’t use Hyperspace themselves to zip ahead of the Resistance fleet(even if they’ve got to bounce to a neighboring system due tominimum-range reasons) and cut them off, or just do a direct jump tocatch up. Worse, Finn and Rey take a hyperspace-capable shuttle toCasino World to execute their convoluted plan, which begs thequestion - why didn’t Holdo order an engineering team onto theshuttle and send it ahead to the old Rebel base? HOW MANY FUCKINGPEOPLE DOES IT TAKE TO WARM UP A REACTOR, BLOW THE DUST OFF A CONSOLEAND PLACE A FUCKING COLLECT CALL?

Thesecomplete failures of intellect - yes, even the infinitely stupidhyperspace kamikaze thing - all have one thing in common: they orientaround plans and facts that aren’t revealed to us till the lastminute, so we won’t notice these problems. It’s also because RianJohnson only cared about “subverting expectations” and provingthat his super special women were so clever and right all along, sohe clearly pulled plot elements out of his ass as he deemed themconvenient.

Ifyou’re one of my Twitter followers who usually tunes in for my vagueranting about defense-related matters, some necessary context isneeded: I’ve written literally thousands of pages worth of “quest”fiction; where I write anywhere from a few paragraphs to a few pagesof fiction, then have my audience vote on what the main characterdoes next - and the content itself is anime fanfiction. And Iam dead serious when I say that, at my worst, when Iwas pulling shit out of my ass on the spot, writing almost inreal-time and posting updates without stopping to proofread or editat all, I never did anything this fucking lazy. At myworst - writing that was so awful I wouldn’t wipe Assad’sass with it - I put more effort into my plot and consistency thanRian Johnson did with his titanic budget and multi-billion dollarstewardship of a beloved brand and franchise.

Andthat’s why I don’t find the hyperspace kamikaze moment offensive onits own merits. It’s horrific, yes - it invalidates space combat inthe entire setting, as well as begging questions specific to themovie (why didn’t Holdo use it outright, for instance?) but thesearen’t any worse than the numerous other stupidities that belabor theplot. What makes the hyperspace thing stand out to me is the attemptto excuse it - two throwaway exchanges. A First Order bridgeofficer notes that Holdo’s cruiser is spinning up its FTL drive, andthe commander dismisses it as an attempted diversion to lead themaway from the transports they’re potting like ducks. This isapparently the excuse for why Holdo didn’t do it earlier - she neededa distraction to allow time to turn. Nevermind that the other twoships with them - that ran out of fuel and were destroyed, afterevacuating their crew to the command cruiser - could’ve providedthis option hours earlier. The two lines make it clear that RianJohnson was aware of this plot hole, and he tries to paper it overwith two brief dialogue lines, as if that’ll excuse everything.

Theentire fucking movie is riddled with lines like this; barebreaths that have to carry the entire movie’s fucking plot setup. Reymentions to Luke that the First Order will “control all the majorsystems within weeks” at the beginning. The Order officer’s singleline that explains the Low Speed Chase the entire movie revolvesaround. Leia’s offhand mention of the old base with the Transmitterof Sufficient Power to reach Their Allies In The Outer Rim. Etc. TLCis demonstrably lacking “downtime” as a movie - think Luke, Hanand Leia chatting in the base on Hoth (“laugh it up, furball,”)the briefing in Episode 4 laying out the Death Star attack, etc.Fiction writing calls it pacing, and scriptwriting calls this “storybeats;” you need the right tempo of fast and slow to properly pacea movie. TLJ never slows down long enough to fucking explainitself, compared to the earlier movies - and the OT didn’t domuch of that to begin with! But it did more than enough to ground theentire story in a larger framework of what the situation was, andwhy the character’s actions mattered. We don’t get that in TLJ.Even the fucking opening scroll narration is inferior in termsof information density. It’s almost like there isn’t a plotworth a damn, just whatever horseshit excuse Rian Johnson squeezesout of his anus next, and if the movie stops cramming glossy CGI andaction figure product placement down your throat for five fuckingseconds, you’ll probably catch on.

Thekorn kernel atop this turd sundae was the ending - with the entirefucking Resistance reduced to maybe a dozen or so personnel - andnone of the command staff, save Leia - on board the MillenniumFalcon, which is only a light freighter, capacity-wise. The “outerrim allies” never show, so this is the entirety of the Resistanceforces. They have no combat fleet, no combat personnel, nobases, no resources, no guns, no ammo, no snub fighters, nothing buta single light freighter and their own limp dicks.

Butthe end of the movie shows them flying around handing out secretResistance rings to force-sensitive kids, as if cereal-box decoderrings are enough to overthrow a vast evil galactic empire. Your AR-15can’t stop a government with tanks and fighter planes, but RianJohnson expects us to believe that the ability to levitate rocks andplace intergalactic Skype calls without paying ComStar can overthrowSpace Nazis.

RianJohnson couldn’t write his way out of a Naruto fan forum.

THIS MOVIE IS AMORALLY REPREHENSIBLE SHITPILE THAT NORMALIZES LIES ABOUT ABUSIVEBEHAVIOR BY MALES TOWARDS FEMALES IN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

That’sright. I said it.

Thismovie is actively harmful and insulting to women and girls.

Theblatant misandry is bad enough, but the messages it teaches girls areeven worse, the chief one being the normalization of Kylo Ren,the mass-murderer and fratricide “bad boy,” as someone who’s“good, deep down,” If Only The Right Woman Could Cure Him. Thisis a misguided fantasy that dates back to Wuthering Heights, and wasrecently resurrected by Twilight, the fantasy of “saving” a manwho’s violent, misogynistic and cruel. Fantasies aren’t realistic bydefinition, and they all feature in fiction because they’ve an appealto a certain audience - what makes them good or bad is the damagethey do to readers in real life who don’t discern the differencebetween fiction and reality until their misunderstanding leads theminto serious harm. The classic “beauty and the beast” theme of“taming” a  “bad boy” stands chief among the offenders inthis category - but don’t ask me, just sample what countless others have written on the topic. Rey going from angry, grief-stricken accusations ofKylo the Fratricide to longing for his lightsaber after three briefskype calls, a look at his Rock Hard Abs and touching his hand once?It’s textbook Beauty And The Beast bullshit, and apoorly-written example, at that.

Thisis in addition to Rian’s explicit view that - as elucidated byHoldo’s own actress - a venomous, sneering bully is what aStrong Female Leader looks like; reinforcedby how the plot bends over backwards to portray Holdo as a hero. Inretrospect, the liberties taken to put Leia into a coma for most ofthe movie was probably done because Carrie Fisher just couldn’t actthe role of a bullying bitch, and that’s the character Rian Johnsonwanted to showcase as a feminist icon. Again, quoting Holdo’sactress, “[Rian is] saying something that’s been atrue challenge in feminism. Are we going to lead and be who we are aswomen in our femininity? Or are we going to dress up in a boy’sclothes to do the boy’s job?” The message here isn’t that girlscan be hot-shot fighter pilots or gunslinging heroes too - it’s thatmales are toxic, testosterone-driven fools and Real Women are “womenin their femininity.” Not “youcan be anything you want to be” but “feminimity is good andmasculinity is smelly dumb mansplaining scum.” Thisis fucked in the head, andI challenge anyone- especiallythose who recommended I watch this movie - to deny the charge Ijust leveled.

Andfinally, there’s the actions of Rian Johnson himself, the misandristfuckhead who wrote this pile of shit. He was building off the workand script of JJ Abrams, including all the character development that went into it - and now we can see what he decided to do with it.Rian didn’t just fail to make a movie - he actively threw away anopportunity to write a script with realprogressivesensibilities, substituted cheap “subversions” instead, and thenjerked off on Twitter about how fucking woke and progressive he is toget all the fawning accolades anyways.

RIAN JOHNSONPISSED AWAY THE MUCH BETTER STORY SET UP BY JJ ABRAMS IN THE FORCEAWAKENS, AND STILL HAS THE FUCKING GALL TO ACT LIKE HE DIDN’T

I’vebeen told - in various articles and in person - that TLJ achievesbrilliant subversion of expectations and fights against tired oldtropes that reinforce social status norms by bucking the Chosen Onewith Significant Bloodlines thing, most notably with Rey’s parentagerevealed to be of no consequence and Kylo’s focus on “killing thepast” and rejecting moral binaries to forge his own path.

So,on that note, let’s talk about Finn.

Finnwas a brilliant character in concept, the kind I often try to write -a common man, a faceless member of the rank-and-file who finds thecourage to step out of line, think for himself, and eventuallybecomes a hero in his own right. The opening of TFA, with the bloodyhandprint on Finn’s helmet serving to identify him and give a “faceto the faceless,” was a brilliant bit of visual storytelling, andFinn himself has a difficult and dangerous journey as a character.He’s limited in his abilities - he can’t pilot a ship, for instance -and for the longest time his only desire is to run as far away fromthe First Order as he possibly can, to live his own life in peace. Bythe end of TFA, he’s grievously wounded fighting an opponent he knowsdamn well outmatches him, all to defend the life of his new - andonly - friend, Rey. Goinginto TLJ, Finn is poised both as Rey’s most probable love interestand as a walkingrefutation of the Chosen Heroes trope; having gone from randomfaceless goon to the man who was responsible for destroying the DeathST- I mean Starkiller Base. Heknew the way into and out ofsaid base because he used to be on the sanitation detail, aquirk that makes perfect sense andemphasizes how the “little people” in inglamorousjobs often know cruciallittle details like that (like the back door the smokers use.)

Andwhat did Rian Johnson do with this setup?

Finnwakes up and is immediately used for comic relief, smacking his headon the medical scanner, then staggering around in a bacta suitleaking fluid everywhere. Thenhe tries to hare off after Rey, only to get tazed for trying to steala vehicle. Then he’squickly shuffled off to the side with Rose while Rey is suddenly, andwith very poor setup and justification, set up with Kylo and hisneon-white abs as her love interest.

Is now a goodtime to remind you that Finn is black? Yes,the black man gets 1. played for comic relief, 2. don’t tazeme bro, 3. shuffled offscreen while Rey is set up with a white boy toavoid any possibility of an interracial romance. Andall that’s in additiontoFinn’s noble sacrifice being portrayed as bad and wrong, while MightyWhitey Kami-Kaze Holdo is made out as a huge hero for the exactsame act.

Comparewhat Rian Johnson did with what he couldhave done, and thentry to tell me thismovie had any redeemingthemes, arcs, or execution. I fucking dareyou.

AVALON HAS FUCKINGFALLEN

TheLast Jedi is a towering monument to the rot at the heart of ourartistic society. The Force Awakens was a shameless regurgitationdesigned by a soulless corporation to bilk our nostalgic childhoodmemories for every penny we were worth, but at least it had acompetent writer/director at the helm that had some pride in hiswork. By contrast, The Last Jedi had that same greedy, scum-suckingcorporate machine at the helm and a writer-director thatepitomizes the creature that now infests Hollywood:  an arrogant, self-congratulatory prick concerned onlywith vigorously stroking off his fellow wealthy cultural elites, sothey may take smug satisfaction in their moral superiority over theproles. Therecent spate ofself-described “male feminists” who’vebeen revealed to use their professed politics as cover to prey onwomen illustrate the forces at work here - if one utters theApproved Doctrine, everything else can be overlooked and forgiven.Portray Women as Good, Men as Bad and with a few cheap shots atCapitalism in the middle, and you can get away with not writing aplot at all, lazy and poorly-storyboarded CGI scenes that pushmerchandise, and even reducing a black man to comedic relief. This iswhat our corporate-run entertainment industry now rewards - to thetune of tens of millions of dollars - and what countlessleft-wing culture-war publications vigorously and viciously defendwith endless column inches of simpering praise and even asinineconspiracy theories about the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy “gaming”Rotten Tomatoes user review scores to cover up how much audienceshated this fucking trash.

Asa writer, I happen to believe that Art means something. It matters.It nourishes the soul and teaches us lessons about why to liveour lives, not just how. Mankind has been telling stories forthousands of years before anyone figured out how to write them down,much less make a profit off them. As a species we are wired to thinknarratively, which is why stories have power - never a righteouskingdom nor a vile dictatorship has existed that didn’t invest greateffort in fashioning myths and legends to justify and strengthen itslegitimacy with the people. Stories can help, and they can even harm.

Storiesare serious fucking business. And Rian Johnson’s betrayal anddesecration of his art and craft is emblematic of what the very, verybig, wealthy and powerful entertainment business thinks isacceptable. The business of multimillionare serial rapists that arealso major political donors, the business of complicit yes-men actorsthat routinely use their fame, wealth, and cultural influence to tipthe scales of our national political debate - that business.

Ifyou’re like me; if you dream of telling stories that matter,stories that change peoples lives and give them hope as other’sstories have done for you - prepare for dark times ahead. It’s clearnow that Avalon has fallen; that the existing establishment is toothoroughly corrupted to serve society any useful purpose. We’ll haveto use the internet, vanity presses and small websites - as long asAmazon, Google, and the other West-coast headquartered monopoliesallow us them, that is - and do the best we can. Whatever Hollywoodin particular and the entertainment industry in general is puttingout anymore, it sure as hell isn’t art, in any sense ofthe word you might imagine. The real artists will have to starve,scrape, beg, and struggle - but what they make will be worthwatching, instead of an affront to common sense and common decency.Call them Rebels, or perhaps the Resistance - just don’t callthem surprising, because I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO.

[whattheklance]

The rest of my season 6 thoughts

OHMYGOSH

what a season

WHAT a season

the next chunk of writing, right below here, was from when i was on the episodes I was talking about before I finished them all

KEITH IS TALLER THAN LANCE after two years

ALSO that means Keith is 21 now, even if no time has passed for everyone else.

man. i think the only reason Lance was "oh look keith's back" was mostly his bitterness over lotor and allura. it's like that bitterness revived his original behavior around Keith from the beginning. even if keith is acting different.

I wouldn't have even thought or noticed Keith was bigger or had grown if fucking LANCE hadn't pointed it out. of course lance is the first and only one to notice. not even in person but via a screen

i also forgot about the cliffhanger already that keith and krolia had found an altean. that d&d episode kinda wiped it from my brain.

and lotor had me fooled too.

though before i started watching i had read someone's post who pointed out how much lotor always told the truth but would lie through omission. not sharing any details that would paint him in a negative light.

is the tenderness he's expressed with allura also part of the lie?? cuz that seemed so genuine.

OHHHHH MYGOSH OHMYGOSH

one of my theories was RIGHT. that the shiro who returned to earth was ALSO a clone!!!

when keith first walked into that room with pods, my FIRST thought was "are all of those Shiros????"

AND OHMYGOSH they were.

when i saw the title of this episode was "the black paladins" my first thought was "does this mean not only keith and shiro, but MULTIPLE shiros will be in this episode???" AND YES. ugh yes.

i don't care that i was right. cuz this was like one of HALF A DOZEN theories i came up with.

i think original shiro NEVER returned to earth

which possibly means that haggar let the blades release A shiro because 1) it wasn't the real one and 2)she might have always intended him to be a paladin.

but i am REALLY attached to the clone shiro we got to know and love and I PRAY that we get to see him again.

and i jumped to a conclusion too quick up there. though a theory of mine was STILL RIGHT, a slight variation on what i just said. I know I have an old post where I theorized that Shiro disappeared because he BECAME ONE WITH THE BLACK LION

AND OHMYGOSH THATS WHAT HAPPENED

it's funny. there was a huge theory going around that something like that could happen to lance and the blue lion, even though there weren't really any solid grounds to think that would happen. But that's what happened to Shiro.

After Keith talked to Shiro and truly bonded with the Black Lion thanks to him. I thought we'd have to say goodbye to Shiro it REALLY felt like he wouldn't be coming back. Like we'd lost him already back in season 2.

and then them having to sacrifice the castle of lions, their home away from home. was even more loss on top of that.

so when we got Allura putting Shiro's spirit from the Black Lion into the clone's body. My heart was swelling. I was so relieved. And I like that it turned his hair all the way white. kinda like when Gandalf the Grey "came back from the dead" as Gandalf the White.

There were SO MANY wonderful beats in this season. Lots of signs of REALLY great storytelling

But I can't help but feel like someone took the great story the team wanted to tell and condensed it way too much. You can still see the elements of what they planned, but lots of important parts felt too rushed

We already know that netflix or dreamworks mandate forced them to bring shiro back a whole season sooner than the creators wanted to. I can't help but wonder what other mandates happened that limited their plans.

The WHOLE Shiro story was a thrilling concept and had some good beats in it. But it also happened a little too fast. Like, Lance's interactions with Shiro in season 5, I felt like that should have led somewhere instead of being dismissed. Even if they wanted the betrayal to seemingly come out of nowhere and surprise the team the way it did, they could've had Lance travel a little ways towards the truth, but have something happen that causes him to dismiss it. It also would’ve amplified his grief upon the betrayal happening, like he could’ve prevented it.

hell even clone shiro. Gonna call him Kuro from now on. He suspected something was wrong. That’s why I thought we were going to get SOME kind of investigation/test, even if it was limited to one episode ANYTHING. i would’ve taken ANYTHING of that nature.

I really wanted Kuro to have some sort of agency beyond his programming. For him to possibly get redeemed or something. I mean, he resisted. He wanted to resist before Haggar forced control. But in the end he was just a device for conflict, and a deus ex machina to resurrect real Shiro. kinda bummed we didn’t get any other clone shiros beyond the sleeping ones in the pods. I liked the idea of a shiro army, good or evil. But maybe they were just empty husks to be used by haggar when one breaks.

It'd be awesome if this wasn't the end of their story, and Shiro in the new body actually had Kuro's voice in his head or something, kinda like 80's Rogue in the x-men with Ms.Marvel's voice in her head. But sadly, it kinda of feels like this is the end of the Shiro Clone Saga.

More on the whole rushing good plot points. The whole reveal of Lotor's true nature with Keith returning. It felt very abrupt, and it didn't help having the D&D episode separating the cliffhanger of Keith and Krolia finding an Altean and the reveal.

Still, even though it all happened faster than I wished, all the beats with the Keith vs Shiro, and Keith discovering real Shiro and unlocking the Black Lion, and even his two year time gap, experience with the Blade and with his mother, crafted him into a confidant fighter who could finally take the lead in voltron, vastly opposite of his pre-blade self. I feel like this character arc, even though it was still too brief init of itself, makes up for some of the lost development from when Shiro should've been gone longer. We wanted to see the new team develop more than we got to. So it was really satisfying seeing them come together now, and feeling like we really saw Keith transform since he last piloted the Black Lion. Even though we had a long keith shortage with seasons 4 and 5, they still managed to have key episodes that developed his arc that led him to who he became in the finale.

though i'm relieved we got original shiro back, i feel like his being brought back was rushed too. Like, I get how that type of scene feels right for a season finale, especially with the fight and losing the castle of lions, but I wish there was more time and development between Keith's discovery of him and his actual return at the end.

KEITH GOT THE GALRA mark from his straining to hold onto his life and Kuro's. I almost was expecting him to fully transform into a galra form of his own. Maybe that's in his future, cuz I think everyone wants to see something like that. I hope the gang comments on his mark in the next episode (did anybody get Star Trek (2009) reboot vibes in that scene?? i feel like there was a scene with Kirk and Sulu that was very similar action-wise with the whole collapsing planet-to-space structure)

Man, so this season Lance had to deal with his Allura feelings and losing her to Lotor. Then Allura had to deal with having her heart broken from falling for Lotor then learning how she was used. Ever since Lance faced his feelings he hasn't been the flirt towards Allura anymore. I hope it stays that way. I love Lance and I love Allura, but I really hope the writers don't take us a romantic route. Like if they did start to do something like that, I'd keep my fingers crossed that its purpose would be to show one or both of them that they aren't right for each other. Like, try to get together only to hilariously fail and decide against it. like Rachel and Joey in friends.

They didn't do anything with Allura presumably learning Lance's feelings from the mice. i’m surprised. i was a little worried when that happened. again, i feel like that not becoming anything could also be a sign of omitted story points.

THEY'RE FUCKING GOING HOME

and i can't help but think how we have seen neither hide nor hair of Sendak's coalition since the episode they fought and ran. They're fully functioning. a huge danger. And I remember reading a meta post after last season talking about how sendak understands better than anyone that to beat voltron is to threaten innocents lives, and to ultimately defeat voltron he'd threaten their home planet. A planet incapable of defending itself against galra tech. He even re-demonstrated those tactics AGAIN this season with the galra shield base. As if to remind us he does that...for next season. where the gang goes home only to find sendak's taken earth or something. or at least has a blockade to threaten it.

this season seriously delivered. Razor's Edge, I stand by as being the best episode of the series thus far. But man The Black Paladins episode was on par with Keith's Blade of Marmora reveal episode in season 2, which I put in the top 5.

Good season, despite the fact that possible executive mandates possibly limiting the writing all around felt VERY visible. Even if it's never confirmed for the things I felt were rushed. I feel like I can see that it’s there. I feel like I can see the story they want to tell, and then everywhere I feel was rushed was like an artificial constraint that forced them to cut something out of the story they want to tell.

Cuz it feels like, from the sheer quality of beats within the characters' arcs, anyone, who could craft what we've already seen, would understand the appropriate amount of story needed to properly depict it, and do it justice, but it's like someone who doesn't have the same understanding has told them to make it shorter, cuz reasons. And that’s how we got the end result

PS. i wonder if Kuro’s sheer blandness as Shiro playing D&D was a reflection of his programming. He couldn’t be inventive or imaginative, and his sole purpose was to be a paladin, to infiltrate, so that’s what he chose every time, constantly the same character. Cuz I feel like real Shiro wouldn’t play the same way. Of course it was funnier having that kind of character, but I really think that might’ve been for that purpose.

[anonymous-gambito]

If I was the one responsible for writing an ATLA reboot, one of the first things I'd change would be to completely cut "Combustion Man" out of the script; not because I think Zuko would be incapable of hiring an assassin, but because I think that plot point was an incredibly stupid and ultimately confusing writing decision (Also, if they needed a villain for Book 3-A so bad they could have pretty much just made one up from anywhere, and preferably one who had more of a personality than a rabid animal). Like, they were gonna be "redeeming" that character in a few episodes, so why the FUCK were they still having said character act like a complete selfish jerk and arguably do one of the most despicable things he did on the entire series??? Zuko already did his Big Bad on helping conquering Ba Sing Se, so now would be the time for the series to show how he feels guilty about it. To demonstrate his redeeming qualities by showing the audience that he regrets his actions. But we aren't shown at any point that Zuko actually feels bad about the things he's done, for the people he's hurt and betrayed. He doesn't think about the Ba Sing Se refugees he lived amongst (who went there to be safe from the Fire Nation); not for Lee and his family; nor for Jin or Song or his ship crew or his people nor for Aang (AKA The Avatar and everyone's last hope) and Katara (who was nice to him and whose friend he helped kill). Actually, not only did he not give a shit that the Avatar was dead, but he actively tried to make sure that he stayed dead so that he wouldn't suffer the consequences of failing to "kill him". Then it's a couple episodes later and they're trying to convince me that Zuko suddenly "turned good" and that he actually cares now??? That he did a full 180 and now he totally wants to join the person he was trying to have killed a few episodes prior?? Make it make sense. Then I say that the show makes it seem that Zuko only changed sides mainly to appease Iroh, to get his uncle to forgive him, and people get pissed about it.

Fact: Zuko hired an incredible lethal assassin to kill Aang since Aang being alive was inconvenient to him.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Double Review: Fantastic Four 2005/Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver  Surfer

Well, it’s finally time to look at these two films. I’ve looked at the cheesy yet awesome B-movie from the 90s, and I’ve looked at the utter blight on cinema that was F4ntastic, but what about the two Tim Story movies of the mid-to-late 2000s? How do they fare against an enjoyable yet trashy B-movie and one of the absolute worst films of all time? General consensus back in the day is that these movies were horrible failures that did a disservice to the characters, but ten years and an abysmal reboot later, people have started to look at these films with somewhat kinder eyes. But is it warranted? Do these movies have any redeeming value? Well, let’s look at the story of the two movies:

The first movie is simply the origin story: The future Fantastic Four (and this time, Victor Von Doom, a businessman financing their space science mission to observe a cosmic storm) go up to space, get blasted by cosmic rays, and gain superpowers, leading them to become one big, happy, constantly bickering, high-profile superhero family. Von Doom starts turning metal, and also turning evil (but with a name like “Von Doom” there are really few career paths one can take aside from villainy), and so they gotta stop him in the last fifteen minutes of the movie, which is when they remembered they were making a superhero film.

The sequel has the team, on the day of Reed and Sue’s wedding, forced to save the Earth again, this time from a mysterious being whose name is in the title of the movie so it really shouldn’t be a shock to anyone watching: The Silver Surfer. And we all know what HIS appearance means, right? Well if you don’t, it means Galactus is coming to eat the world. The Fantastic Four just consistently get no respect, and the people who asked for their help in the first place not only repeatedly disrespect and insult them, they hire Doom, seemingly just to rub it in. Can the combined forces save the day, or is the Earth just straight up fucked?

So the one thing I can say that is done really well across the two movies is that the team, well, feels like a team, and more importantly, feels like a kind of dysfunctional but loving family… you know, like the Fantastic Four is supposed to feel. Reed is the epitome of an absentminded professor; he clearly loves his friends, but he can let his scientific breakthroughs get in the way of that. Ioan Gruffudd does a good job at making Reed the nice balance of clueless insensitivity and charming kindheartedness that makes Reed interesting. Johnny is an egotistical showoff, and is constantly teasing Ben, and pre-Captain America Chris Evans seems like he’s having a ball… though apparently he didn’t have a great time making these movies. Johnny can be kind of obnoxious at times, but he never gets so bad that he feels like a disservice to the character. Sue is… there. Yeah, unfortunately, she is the weak link here, as she has very little presence (fitting for someone called the Invisible Woman, but kind of disappointing for one of Marvel’s most iconic leading ladies). Jessica Alba just does not seem like a good choice to play this character, and it doesn’t help that her experience working on the films was so bad she almost quit acting. Of course I saved the best for last: Ben Grimm, AKA The Thing. If these movies did anything right, it was cast Michael Chiklis, a huge fan of the comics, as Ben. Chiklis gives a very nuanced and human portrayal of Ben while still making him the big lug we all know and love; in short, he’s perfect, and easily one of the best comic-to-screen adaptations of a hero ever.

Now for the exact opposite: Doom. He fucking sucks. Across the two movies, there is not one single scene that is improved by his presence… okay, that’s not entirely true, but the vast majority of his screentime is spent sucking. The problem here is that Doom is not the sorcerous overlord of Latveria; he’s Norman Osborn, basically, a corrupt corporate executive whose arrogance and greed gets him evil powers. Basically the only thing he has in common with the comic book version is that he is named Victor Von Doom, and he hates Reed Richards. That’s about it. I get these films were made in the wake of Raimi’s Spider-Man films, which were huge, but they already jacked the action-packed comical tone for the story, did they need to jack the villain too? This Doom is only saved by a somewhat cool action sequence at the end of the second movie where he hijacks the Silver Surfer’s board and briefly becomes the herald of Galactus, and the fact that as much ass as he sucks, he’s still not as bad as the living gimp suit they called Doom in the 2015 movie. I think it says a lot about him, and also the quality of the reboot, that his biggest saving grace is that he sucks, but not as bad as the reboot one.

And now for the antagonists of the sequel: Silver Surfer and Galactus. Silver Surfer is easily the best part of the movie; he’s cool, he’s noble, he’s badass as hell, and he’s played by the inimitable Doug Jones. He’s such an enjoyably cool creation of special effects and acting that it may just make you sad that his hinted-at spinoff movie teased in the credits never happened. Galactus, on the other hand… ooh boy. I’m gonna need to start a new paragraph for him.

What needs to be understood about Galactus here is that this movie was made back in 2007, which was long before riskier comic book movies like Guardians of the Galaxy or Ant-Man. There was no chance back at the time that a character like Rocket Raccoon, Groot, Ant-Man, or Ego the Living Planet could ever be taken seriously, and silly-looking characters like Green Goblin were subject to a shitload of jokes. So, with that in mind, it is easy to see why the studio was probably reluctant to go with a true-to-the-text version of Galactus as a giant man clad in pink and purple. Instead, they opted to make him a big, evil cloud that drains the life from planets, and hey, this isn’t too bad a concept! This could totally work… but there are some stumbling blocks that they managed to trip over. First off: He doesn’t talk. I get changing him to a giant, living nebula that devours planets was necessary to avoid the sheer corniness of his usual attire, but you could AT LEAST still have him talk! Unicron bellowed out in the voice of Orson Welles when he was still just a giant planet-eating sphere, would it have been too much to have this killer cloud from outer space do the same? There’s plenty of actors capable of giving deep, menacing voices to even the most peculiar characters, so this is one of the more egregious missteps. Another big issue is the fact he… dies. Yeah, Galactus, the being in the comics who could at most be dissuaded for a bit, is killed via the magic power of pulling stuff out your ass and bullshit writing! The Silver Surfer just basically decides to turn on him and kill Galactus, with the power Galactus gave him… which begs the question of why Galactus would create someone strong enough to kill him. But hey, that could have been remedied with maybe some foreshadowing… which brings us to the biggest problem of all: Galactus only appears for, at most, five minutes. Galactus is barely in the movie at all, has very little buildup despite, you know, the Silver Surfer being there, and dies without making any sort of mark in the audience’s mind. And hey, remember how I said they likely did this to avoid the cheesiness of his costume, and that the cloud thing wasn’t a totally bad idea? There’s actually concept art for something that has it both ways: true to the text, yet still hidden in this massive cloud! But hey, why avoid these problems that will piss people off when you can just use them and piss people off? Just throw in a silouette that looks like his helmet and call it a day, they’ll be satisfied, riiiiiiiiiiiight?

Ok, but that’s enough about the characters… what about the stories, the actual content of the films? The first movie is much more… sitcomy, I guess? It’s an origin story and pretty light on the action, acting more as a piece where the characters interact and develop. For what it is, it’s decent, though as a superhero movie it really wouldn’t have killed them to have a bit more superheroics (you know, the thing that audience came for) and maybe have Doom built up better as an antagonist instead of thrust upon us in the final third after sitting most of the film out. For a movie that is clearly trying to emulate Spider-Man, it sure missed the part where Norman Osborn becomes the Green Goblin early on and flies about on his glider, cackling like a madman and killing people to establish him as a threat. Hell, Doom doesn’t even get to glide around on a silvery object until the second film! Overall though, the character interactions are pretty good, though again, Alba is clearly not bringing her best material here. My biggest issue though is some of the dialogue so hamfistedly foreshadowing the characters eventual identities early in the film it just feels awkward to a painful degree. Overall, the film feels more like an extended prologue for the second film than anything, and I guess that it’s not too bad for something like that, but it’s definitely not stellar as a superhero movie.

The second film is a lot more action packed, and I think this helps out a lot. The characters are established, so we get a lot of solid banter, they use their powers a lot more, and they’re up against the Silver Surfer, a character who just oozes coolness. Hell, even Sue is more interesting here! I also liked how the characters had realistic arguments and problems, and instead of stewing in them for the sake of drama… they actually talk their problems out and handle things in a mature manner instead of allowing annoying, contrived bullshit to hinder the plot! Of course, Doom’s presence bogs the film down, as does the issue with Galactus, but I think overall the film has a slight edge just for being a bit more compelling and for allowing the characters to be a bit more enjoyable due to the audience presumably being familiar with them from the first one. There’s still an air of corniness and campiness to the proceedings, but this one’s a bit more fun. Also, Stan Lee’s cameo, where he tries to get into Sue and Reed’s wedding only to be rejected, is probably one of his best cameos ever.

So, what do I think of them, overall? I think… they’re kinda enjoyable. I don’t think either movie is as true to the campy charm of the old comics as the unreleased film from the 90s, but I do think the heroes themselves were pretty well done, the Silver Surfer is one of the coolest characters in any superhero film and deserved his own spinoff, and it’s clear that there was some love, effort, and creativity put into these movies that makes them somewhat enjoyable. Are they great? No, I can’t honestly say either of these films are “great” movies to any degree, though they have their moments, but they’re enjoyable enough that it’s mostly painless to watch them (until you come across a scene Doom is in). Much like the second and third Pirates of the Caribbean films, I feel like these two movies could have maybe been trimmed down and cut together; the first act could have featured the origin of the Fantastic Four and maybe established Galactus and Silver Surfer, the second act could have them trying to use their powers to find out what the Surfer is up to, bickering, and growing closer as a team, and the third act could feature Galactus arriving, the team coming together to fight him off, and the Surfer realizing the value in them and helping them. Then it ends with a sequel hook involving Doom and maybe one for a Silver Surfer spinoff movie. Also, Galactus doesn’t die. BOOM! That would have worked a lot better I think, even if fighting off a planet-devouring galactic being is a bit much for a fledgling superhero team. Still, for what they are, I can’t really hate them. They do a lot wrong, but they do plenty right too. They’re definitely worth checking out if you can find them cheap (try the bargain bin at your local Wal-Mart or supermarket, and snicker if the price is about $4). Just don’t go in expecting Spider-Man or X-Men, the big contemporaries these films were compared to, and you’ll have a good time.

It’s a shame this franchise screeched to a halt and died when it had potential to get so much more interesting, especially with Silver Surfer’s hinted, yet sadly aborted, spinoff. Instead, what we got was something that represented the polar opposite of what the Fantastic Four should be. At least we got The Incredibles, which is to date the greatest Fantastic Four movie ever mad… but still, I’d like to imagine someday we’ll get an honest-to-god Fantastic Four movie that is actually fantastic. Maybe Fox will stop fucking up and make it, maybe they’ll give the rights back to Marvel, or maybe they’ll share joint custody like Sony is doing with Spider-Man. Only time will tell.

[theheavymetalmama]

My Most Anticipated Movies of 2017

2016 was an exceptionally shit year on many fronts and I for one won’t miss it. Hopefully 2017 will be better, but given that soon we’ll have a president who lets his ego make important decisions and has elected cabinet members who don’t know the first fucking thing about any of their positions...yeah. It’s going to be a long, trying four to~God fucking help us~eight years. But 2017 does at least have one thing going for it, and that’s the fact that it’s a big year for movies, which means lots of opportunities to escape from this horrible, horrible world for at least an hour and a half.

Now this isn’t a top ten list, as if it was the vast majority of this list would be taken up by comic book movies. Instead, this is just a general list of movies I want to see and hopefully get to see this year, starting with least anticipated and ending with most anticipated. Starting with...

Resident Evil: the Final Chapter

Kind of cheating here because there’s something I want to clarify; I don’t want to see this movie. Rather, I want this movie franchise to die and I hope against hope that this is indeed the FINAL chapter...though I’m not holding my breath. The one thing I am looking forward to is the inevitable review from Phelous. If you love the RE games but hate the movies, watch his reviews on them because he just rips them to pieces.

Wonder Woman

In an ideal world, this movie would probably be my number one movie I’m most looking forward to, or at least somewhere in the top three. But we don’t live in an ideal world, we live in a world where some asshat thought it was a good idea to kill Superman in two movies and made Batman and Superman both having moms named Martha a big plot twist and the execs fucking went with it. Suffice to say the DCEU has been an ongoing shitshow. Man of Steel was just okay, Suicide Squad was laughably bad, and Batman v Superman was a chemical plant dumpster fire. So while I’m not as excited for the first female lead superhero movie in over a decade as I should be, Wonder Woman has some good things going for it. Different director, different producers, writers...are not ideal but weirder things have happened before, it takes place in World War I making it totally disconnected from the other DCEU movies, and the fucking trailer has more color and levity than the entirety of both Man of Steel AND Batman v Superman. Hopefully this will be the movie that turns things around for both the DCEU and female lead superhero and action movies as a whole.

XXX: Return of Xander Cage

Yes, the first movie is dated as hell with its’ aesthetics and its’ overall writing and attitude makes it the cinematic equivalent to pogs and the second movie was basically a 90 minute advertisement for Pimp My Ride (is that show still even on?) and as a whole both movies have aged like milk. However, the makers of this movie seem aware of that and have seemed to embrace the post-number four Fast and Furious franchise’s attitude of “Hey, this is basically a bunch of cartoon characters who settle things with racing of all things, let’s stop taking this shit so seriously and have some fun.” Vin Diesel shines best when he either gives a genuine performance or goes so over the top that GI Joe would tell him to tone it down a bit. Still pretty low on the list because, honestly, I’m not expecting much out of this one.

Friday the 13th

Hopefully this one goes better than the last attempt at a reboot.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

There have been several movies based on the King Arthur fable over the years, and while none of them were particularly bad they can’t be defended as good movies either. However, this one has a shot because it’s being directed by Guy Ritchie. You know, the dude behind those RDJ-lead Sherlock Holmes movies, as well as ‘Snatch’ and ‘The Man From U.N.C.L.E.’ Every other attempt at making a King Arthur movie since ‘Sword in the Stone’ has tried playing it straight to varying degrees of success, Monty Python and the Holy Grail not withstanding. Hopefully Ritchie’s gonzo take on Sherlock will work wonders for King Arthur as well.

Kong: Skull Island

Godzilla 2014 was a very polarizing movie. I liked it, but will admit its’ not without problems. Still, there are three things everyone can agree on. Tricking the audience into thinking Brian Cranston was the lead when in fact it was a boring white-bread version Kick-Ass was a dick movie on the studio’s part, the tone was needlessly grim, and despite having the best looking Godzilla to date (sorry, Shin Godzilla) there was too little Godzilla in the movie. It’s sequel (yes, Kong: Skull Island is a Godzilla 2014 sequel) seems to be taking those criticisms to heart, with an all-star cast and a welcoming injection of humor and levity, this is one monster movie to look forward to.

Power Rangers

Yeah, I’m honestly not sure what to expect of this one. Either it’s going to blow our minds or it’s going to be a disaster of Biblical proportions. Either way, I’m eager to find out.

Beauty and the Beast

As far as animation goes, save for ‘The Good Dinosaur’ Disney and Pixar have been knocking it out of the park since Wreck-It-Ralph. The live-action remakes of their classics, however, are a bit of a mixed bag. Maybe this is the one that will turn it around for them, as they seem to be bringing their A-game with this one.

Logan

The X-Men franchise is running on fumes. First Class was excellent, Days of Future Past was good, Apocalypse fell flat on its’ face, and while Deadpool was a ton of fun a big part of that movie’s charm was hanging a giant lampshade on how little it had to do with the other X-Men movies. At this point, I’m long past the ‘give it back to Marvel’ phase and just want to see this franchise put on the shelf for a bit. Having said that, one aspect that does still hold up is Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. Sure, Origins was crap, but The Wolverine was at least two parts of a decent B-movie. And with ‘Logan’ being Jackman’s last hurrah as as everyone favorite Canadian, hopefully this is a worthy send-off.

War of the Planet of the Apes

Hey, the first two were good. Hopefully they can go three-for-three.

Jumanji

Remakes tend to be hit and miss, so kudos to the studio for deciding to not even bother trying to recreate the original and tell something different entirely. This movie will be a collect of shorts focusing on the experiences of different people involved with the game, or so they say at least. I just there’s a scene where The Rock and Jack Black can interact because that would be just golden.

Kingsman: the Golden Circle

The first one was a surprise hit and an even more surprising ton of fun, and I have no doubt in my mind this one will do the same.

Lego Batman

I was as shocked as anyone when The Lego Movie was not just good, but so much better than anyone expected as well as better than a 90 minute toy advertisement deserved to be. Hopefully not only will lightning strike twice, but above all else I hope this movie shows how Batman having friends and allies is a good thing and serves as a step toward putting the tired, achingly cliche, egregiously overdone, hopelessly outdated, grimdark, moody, paranoid, untrusting, morally ambiguous, post Frank miller “MY PARENTS ARE DEEEEAAAAAAAD!” version of Batman we’ve been stuck with for the last 30 years to fucking rest.

Murder on the Orient Express

It’s been a while since I’ve seen a good mystery movie and even longer since I’ve seen the iconic literary figure Hercule Poirot in...well, anything. Hopefully this movie will fill that void.

Thor: Ragnarok

Let’s face it, the Marvel Cinematic Universe at this point in time is pretty much unstoppable. Such is their talent with making good movies that not even the two most iconic superheroes ever in the same movie could hold a candle to the third Captain America movie loosely based on a comic book that isn’t even good. However, there are two irrefutable criticisms for the MCU, and it’s that as a whole the MCU is both a sausage party as well as whiter than the line in a Starbucks in Nebraska, and that the Thor movies are the weak links in the MCU chain. Hopefully the upcoming Black Panther and Captain Marvel movies will address the race and sex thing, and from the looks of things ‘Ragnarok’ will do the same for Thor. Bigger scale, elements from Planet Hulk brought into the fray, Kate Blanchette playing the villain Hela, and a possible appearance by Doctor Strange? Hell yes, sign me up!

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Do I really need to explain this one?

Star Wars: Episode VIII

The Force Awakens was good. Rogue One was even better. As of right now I haven’t the slightest idea of what VIII will even be about, but I’m sure it will be good. Not to mention it’s the last time we’ll see the late Carrie Fisher in anything.

And my number one most anticipated movie of 2017 is...

Spider-Man: Homecoming

It’s come to my attention that some people are upset that that there won’t be a third installment to Sony’s now defunct Amazing Spider-Man series, and that...baffles me. I mean, did anybody even watch Amazing Spider-Man 2? It was...bad. Sure, there are worse movies out there, but ASM2 still wasn’t good. Andrew Garfield was good as Spider-Man but as Peter Parker he choked and choked hard, the villains sucked, and it’s painfully obvious that the people at Sony/Columbia Pictures were way more interested in keeping the Spider-Man license and aping the MCU formula in order to make a quick buck than they were in making a good Spider-Man movie.

Hopefully, this will the movie that redeems a tarnished franchise, and so far it has a lot of good things going for it. Not only can Spidey interact with the MCU, not only are they skipping the origin story, not only is Michael Fucking Keaton playing the Vulture, but actor Tom Holland was a better Spider-Man in a few minutes of Civil War than the entirety of both Maguire and Garfield in the previous five Spider-Man movies. What else can I say? Oh yeah, I know...

UNDEROOS!

[thepeakmoment]

Gooch: You could be honest with me here Thor, so what do you really think of the Diane character? Not Laura Dern or anything about that, but the character?

I don't know why she's so angry. At first I thought she's a victim of sexual assault by Mr C. But now I don't know after getting that text from him. Also, why is she decked in silk oriental style? What was her title when receiving tapes from Dale?

I don't think she ever had a title But then again I didn't know she was texting with Mr. C. I am just not catching anything in these episodes ha ha I guess I should be making stronger coffee for these viewings

Mr C texted "at the dinner table the conversation is lively" on his burner phone before Tim Roth shot it. Later while Tammy is interviewing Hastings, Diane reads that text on her phone. According to Dom, he said the two texts are slightly different, namely Cooper's text is all caps and Diane's received text is upper/lowercase.

That was Tim Roth? Lol. I give up....

You are too funny… Any correspondence with Dom? I have not heard from him for nearly 20 days now

Yea. Was texting with him yesterday Re: the spiderman movie.

Have you seen Arrival? I'm really looking forward to seeing that, I hear it is a really great intelligent movie. And I believe it has a killer soundtrack. … The same guy who is doing the new Blade Runner [Jóhann Jóhannsson].

I tried to watch it a couple times. Fell asleep. Seems that is my biggest problem with watching TV now, everything puts me to sleep. Maybe that's why I have been going to the theater more. I do remember you were talking about the composer but I don't recall the music. Seems I am just an old stuck in the mud now.

Well, good I'm glad you're getting out some. I cannot seem to justify the price of movie tickets in our days, and I'm sure it's a good five dollars more where you live [in LA]. I only go to a few select films each year, mostly Star Wars — or I should say only Star Wars — and now that I'm living in New Hampshire I want to go see that in IMAX. Viewing "Game of Thrones" might get you back into being more alert and attentive while viewing TV. That is such a magnificent series, I envy the time when you finally get to it with virgin eyes. Will be interesting to see how The Return is packaged for DVD release. I guess they just announced FWWM to be released in the Criterion Collection.

I honestly have not one drop of interest in Game of Thrones You don't have to tell Domi that. Lol. But that's just me. I don't seem to like the big huge popular shows. I couldn't stand "the Sopranos" I don't think they announced it but the Internet has drawn conclusions from some evidence out there that it might be a criterion release at some point. So they must have a big plan to roll out probably a huge box set of the entire series in the movie And yeah I noticed that all of the Twin Peaks episodes expire September 26

Hmmm, curious. Lynch has said it is a long 18-hour movie. I guess that qualifies as a cinematic film release, thus Criterion eligible.

Breaking bad was pretty good for the first two seasons but it got convoluted and turned into just a series of character monologues and was kind of boring kind of picked up at the end Yeah I can see Dom reacting like I do sometimes And that is not to say that I didn't try to watch Game of Thrones or the Sopranos or curb your enthusiasm or homeland. I at least try them out. I just didn't like them.…

I thought BB was better with each progression season. I thought season two was a masterpiece season, and felt each season there after got more intense just like Walter getting more "breaking bad." Very rich character studies all the way around. And Saul is even better than BB. Perhaps it's because it's the only surviving series, but I see it as more mature than Bad.

There is a trend that a lot of shows follow building their main character as an antihero and often for me they go too far. I ended up [hating] Walter White. And I guess that's what they wanted me to do but honestly it made me not like the show That's what they're doing with Diane They have struck the perfect balance with the two Cooper's maybe because there are two of them ha ha Walter White/Diane have absolutely no redeeming qualities that make them a character I am invested in and want to care about

Yeah, there is so much prime TV now that it's perfectly justifiable to not watch every single A+ rated series. There is no harm or foul in not viewing everything. It is enough to find a series that we like and enjoy, and that's the end of it rather than making sure everyone else knows about it and designate as most view TV.

Again I'm an old fart, but I miss the days of three networks and HBO and that was it ha ha You know what makes the Mona Lisa an incredible painting? Because there is only one. Now every network has five hit shows that you must see. Whatever... i'll wait for the next Mona Lisa And this summer is Mona Lisa… Baby Driver. Now that's a reason to see movies in the theater, going to be the best soundtrack since the peak soundtracks came out ha ha

Yes, I read a little blurb recently how baby driver soundtrack is re-creating the soundtrack, Or somesuch. I remember the word remix in the headline.… I also hear the new planet of the apes is very good, how there's a moment that transcends cinema, I think it was some scene where humans are victorious over something while all the apes were watching and stunned at violent human nature. Something like that… It's too bad the movies are relying on tent pole franchise action hero comic book fare. None of that stuff really interests me, case in point: why are they rebooting Spiderman for the fourth time? And now another "The Batman"…. That is the chief reason why I am home bound watching many TV series, mostly dramas, because all the movie talent is going over to TV to tell longer, richer, more in depth and interesting stories than what can be told in a 90–120 minute feature. And cinematic production value has carried over into TV because that's where movie A listers have migrated.

Yeah four out of 10 movies I've seen this summer or comic book based. And on the surface I agree that Spiderman is rebooting again, but now I think maybe we are using that term too much. We didn't say they rebooted James Bond when they changed from Sean Connery to Roger Moore to Timothy Dalton to Pierce Brosnan it was always just James Bond So there's a new Spiderman after but kind of still it's just Spiderman Bond didn't get the reboot moniker until they change the tone completely with the new guy Well we'll see if Tom Hanks finally returns to television ha ha But I ain't holding my breath. Lol More like C & B listers, The A-listers are not going to be on the little screen. Because TV can't afford a $20 million paycheck. Pit, Cruise, Roberts, Pacino, Clooney

Yes, A-list actors may not find their way into TV series as easy but that is definitely changing because there are many A-list people who have found – Spacey, Thornton, Hopkins, and many UK acting talent. Yes, and like comic book serials, new storylines are created after one ends. So a reboot is just another term for a new story being introduced. I would like to see more movie trilogies as a way to counter the glut of TV programming. Which is why I do like Star Wars, because it is a continuing storyline.

So you're saying as well that reboot is a misused term? We have a reboot, we have a remake, we have a sequel, we have a prequel. Twin Peaks was supposed to be a sequel but is really a reboot I found a discussion about all of these terms last year I wish I knew where it was. All four categories have very specific elements that make them what they are There are always exceptions to the rule of course, MASH the TV series was a sequel and a reboot Maybe that's more like what Twin Peaks is

Yes, "reboot" is much overused, if not wrongly used. I believe TR is a sequel, but the media brands it as a reboot. I guess both are correct but technically it is a sequal – it is 25 years later in a continuing storyline.

Now Battlestar Galactica, maybe the greatest fucking television show in the last 20 years, was a 100% reboot and 100% successful and should be the shining example of how to do a reboot well

I'm still working my way through the new Battlestar Galactica. It is very good… maybe we should compile our own list of enjoyable shows etc.

[yami-rang]

Hide isn't dead in the anime, most likely.

If you check out the scene again, it's very subtle, bit he smiles when Kaneki's tears fall on him.

The whole setting was basically lovers suicide, with Kaneki planning to stay in the flames with Hide, but after realizing Hide isn't dead just yet, he decided to seek help.

So basically even though they fucked up the fight, the story is the same: Hide brings Kaneki to Arima, while sustaining severe injuries in the process.

In other words, Kaneki gives himself up to Arima in exchange for medical help for Hide.

From then on out, being thrown into Cochlea without knowing what happened to everyone would soon drive him mad for sure, eventually enabling the appearance of Haise. And technically Arima protecting Hide from the Washuu at least until after he's healed enough to do it himself (since I think Hide worked together with Arima and Eto at some point, though it's not confirmed and maybe was just chance that their actions aligned). Though we won't see any of that, Hide is gonna be gone from the anime for a very long time obviously.

So yeah, they didn't do a good job and many things will be lost in the symbolism and significance of some scenes and we won't get suitcase jokes from the anime, but they can make it work if they try hard enough.

Unless they fuck up even more epically and Hide lives in the Chateau or whatever lol.

A reboot with a proper studio is the only way the anime can redeem itself though.

So this is gonna be a long post and people are going to give me crap for it but I realized they cut a lot of material out in the Tokyo Ghoul anime that is major for Re. I understand like you can’t fit all of a Manga into the anime but the Kaneki vs Arima fight in V14, like that was the explanation on how Kaneki became Haise and yes, they hid that and made the reader think Kaneki was dead and Haise was a brand new character until it was revealed but with the anime ending, how are they going to explain how Haise came to be when Kaneki was all fine with his memories at the end? I mean I guess you could infer that the fight happened since it ended on Arima and Kaneki standing across from each other but still. (Also p.s. if they do animate all of Re: when it does end, what are they gonna do about hide?)