#fuck me. no more yapping for tonight.

[speakercrab666]

OH MY GOD SHUT UP U GUYS I AM THINKING ABOUT DVDS!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD. I LOVE DVDS. DISCS. HOLY SHIT U GUYS. HHHHHHHHHH.

GONNA BUY A PORTABLE DVD PLAYER AND THEN I’M GONNA WATCH BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN!!!!!!!!! I ALREADY HAVE BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN ON DVD BUT I HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET DUE TO NO DVD PLAYER.

AND THEN I’M GONNA FIND MY ROBOTS DVD AND I!!!! AM GOING!!!!!! TO WATCH!!!! ROBOTS!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S THE BEST MOVIE POSSIBLY EVER AND I REFUSE TO WATCH IT ONLINE. IT LIVES ON A DVD!!!

I CAN’T FIND MY ROBOTS DVD RN BUT OH BOY WHEN I DO!!!!! I WON’T BE ABLE TO WATCH IT BC I DON’T HAVE A DVD PLAYER YET. BUT ROBOTS!!!!! EXCITED FOR ROBOTS.

[goosehadfood]

Yk when your tired and then you go honk shooooo @zondel

[thegreatcrowdragon]

Imagining how funny it would be if everyone in crk had phones or something. Elder faerie sends this really long and deep message about how he loves Shadow milk and he responds with the fucking can I has chez burger cat

[maggotmoment]

You know there’s a line in ep 1 of the sickening during shilo’s intro that’s something like ‘i don’t know how those two get along, he’s a monster’ that’s from one of the guards to another guard abt shilo and Lazarus that I always took as meaning that Lazarus is seen as a monster but. The other interpretation is very interesting to think abt! Another guard later pretty much begs shilo not to talk to him bc otherwise he’d be ‘marked for death’ and how no one who talks to shilo lasts longer than a day and I’m just like.

Do you think the guards warn each other. Do they say not to talk to the prince, no matter how sweet and innocent it seems, because doing so will doom you? The guards have to have some kind of community, some kind of camaraderie. Enough to earn each other on how to not get killed, at the very least. But the first guard shilo gets killed is new and hasn’t talked to the other guard very much. The second guard is less willing to talk to shilo but he ends up doing so, of course he does. And the third one at that point fully believes his actions are of his own free will.

I think what part of makes shilo so compelling to me is how he is in no way malicious with his actions. He doesn’t want to kill these guards or get these guards killed, he isn’t doing it out of hatred or enjoyment or even boredom. He just. Does not see them as anything more then things to talk to sometimes and use in his escape attempts. They get replaced quick enough. But from an outside perspective? Of course he’d seem monstrous. Even amongst a whole castle full of monsters, a young, mysterious prince who has never been outside the castle walls, who is rumored to doom anyone he talks to, all while seeming so sweet and innocent, so out of the norm in vampire society? A prince who can easily manipulate your actions and thoughts and will do so without a second thought not because he is intending to use you but because he genuinely doesn’t see anything wrong with it?

Of course that seems like a monster. Of course you’d wonder how others could bear to talk to him when it could so easily doom them. Mark them for death. like-a day? they barely even last a day.

[silverselfshippingchaos]

I was rewatching the r.ed r.ain earlier and goodness he's so handsome

[fireworkss-exe]

call me a stereotypical annoying teenage girl all you want but titanic (1997) had me absolutely transfixed when I first watched it

[hauntingblue]

Zoro was about to tell luffy off for making a scene but luffy just says some guys spilled red bean soup and he starts to make a worse one. Amazing

[cosmiicfairy]

.

[angelstrawbabie420]

this feels so insanely weird

[imthewokerbaby]

i want to yell into the void tonight so.

chronic pain? I wouldn't say I have it I guess? But I'm also in pain all the time lol. Maybe I just feel weird claiming things when I've never had them confirmed by outside parties.. though like.. what are they gonna do? Attach themselves to my neurons and feel it?

I'll keep staying ridiculous though. Surely it's fine.

I can't even get new glasses that aren't fucked so ain't no way I'm getting any assistance on any other front lol. Fuck it we ball

[ace-of-d1am0nds]

i’m so exhausted

[spilledcoffeeonthefloor]

Fans making a youtube video with the title:

"Neil josten when Andrew"

and it's like:

*reporter: Neil Josten! people say Andrew m-

Neil: nope, imma stop u right there. you bring Andrew up again and we're having a big problem here. I'm tired of your never ending self made drama about my teammates.

*reporter, Again: Neil Josten! there has been rumors about your current goalie Andr-

Neil: there has been rumors about your mother as well, actually! people say his son doesn't have a better job to do than making a shit amount of money out of people's private life.

*camera on Neil staring at Andrew in a middle of a warm up before a match.

*camera on Kevin talking to Neil, Neil literally zoning out, then turning his head around and looking for something. kevin sighs, then points toward Andrew in the corner. Neil's face lighting up

*camera on Neil looking at Andrew in the goal when he's standing out for the game and doing a "Andrew smile" soft and proud and literally heart eyes.

*camera on Neil punching a stricker for shoving Aaron.

*camera on Neil turning toward Andrew everytime he scores.

*more Neil staring at Andrew

*another stricker yells something at Andrew mid game,

Neil punching the guy in the guts, twice, walking toward the referrer, snatching a red card before the referrer could even offer it, and punching the stricker dude twice more

*reporter: Neil josten, your goalie Minyard did an excellent performance at this game, do-

Neil: OH MY GOD, RIGHT????? like, wow that was amazing. he is amazing. I've been obsessed with exy since i was a kid, and I've seen really, really great things in exy, but this? that defense? that was the greatest thing I've ever seen. he didn't let a single goal in. like-*endless yapping*

*reporter: Neil josten, how's playing with Minyard?

Neil: good, he keeps me on my knees.

Neil:....

Neil: TOES. HE KEEPS ME ON MY TOES.

*Camera on Neil laughing so hard at something Andrew said with complete deadpan

*a tweet that says "i wish Andrew Minyard would bench press me" and has a "liked by Neil josten" above it.

*Camera on Neil threatening a nurse at the hospital to let her see Andrew, who was hurt mid game.

then again, camera on Neil shouting "ok then I'm buying the fucking hospital"

*Camera on Wymack trying to prevent Neil from buying the hospital

*reporter: Neil josten you look fabulous tonight! can you tell us what brand you're wearing?

Neil: i have not a single idea, Andrew picked it up

reporter: you just wear whatever he picks up for you..?

Neil: yuP.

*Foxes on tv in a quiz show, camera on Neil taking Andrew's coffee mug, taking a sip, put two sugar cubes in it, blowing it a bit to cool down then handing it to Andrew and turning to the host: excuse me what were you saying?

[r-1-der]

warnings: smut, bondage, sensory deprivation, light choking, foreseeable back and shoulder pain from poor practices.

sevika with an insomniac gf.

a gf who wakes up up to multiple times an hour just to toss and turn all throughout the night, even with sleeping meds or even alcohol to cope with, and despite every effort sevika makes to have her as comfortable and sleepy as possible, gf still cant stay asleep for more than maybe some short hours without being disturbed for being a light sleeper on top of it all.

sevika will think youve been asleep for a good while but youre just lingering still trying to tipple over, the second sevika brushes your hair or kisses your head youre wide awake again.

"go to sleep," sevika murmurs into your hair as you fiddle and shift, pressed against her once more.

"'m trying..."

"not hard enough. stop moving."

there was a poor attempt at following her words, but still your hips twitched against her leg, comfortingly pressing into her over and over as sleep slowly began to claw onto you.

with months and weeks of this sevika had attempted everything to make you tired. fucking you senseless was her favourite, but it didnt stop your yapping, and didnt keep you asleep. herbal teas, pills, alcohol, soothing music, a fan, anything.

she decided maybe filling you with some obligation before bed would do you good. tying your arms behind your back and placing you on top of herself, a pillow separating your hips as yours arched back.

"shh... just let me touch you..." she would say as she groped and touched where she pleased. following whimpers and whines from her pretty girl it slowly morphed into a massage, despite wet spots and trails. but it soothed you to sleep faster than usual, and kept you asleep for longer.

eventually, with all the grinding on her leg, she bought herself a thigh strap, letting you fuck yourself whenever you woke up, let your grind down onto the comfort of being filled by her, until it numbed your mind enough for you to tipple back into sleep.

"kneel," she said one late evening. you had dressed for bed, and she had taken to tying your arms behind your back as she often did for your bedtime. you lowered slowly onto the ground, careful not to lose balance.

once kneeling she had you blindfolded and deafened, and with your hesitancy to choose whether you wanted stimulation or not she slipped a vibrator into your underwear and handed you the remote to control it on your own volition.

there were no instructions this time. normally she told you exactly how she wanted you. but not tonight. sevika simply had you sit just like that on the bedroom floor. for how long you werent sure of either.

the remote was left untouched, even with the throb of unsurety and anticipation.

you felt her footsteps vibrate through the floor on occasion, with no way of knowing if she was in the room or not, perhaps it was a passing vehicle and not her, or maybe the neighbours... how would you know.

"...sevika," you said softly, long after your knees had began to ache, even with the soft blanket folded beneath you. a hand brushed your jaw, her big warm hand. you closed your mouth again. maybe she hadnt moved since she blindfolded you after all. and you clicked the vibrator on, onto the lowest setting just to tease, just how sevika was.

you heard yourself loudly with your ears being clogged, with your breathy and quiet sighs. you clicked the remote again.

"aah..."

thick fingers traced your mouth, lightly prodding at them until they slipped inside to coat themselves in the spit on your tongue. god... you clicked the remote again, shifting your hips to have it touch you just right.

"mmh..."

she slipped her fingers in deeper, always so careful not to have you gagging and bring you out of your perfect daze, but they pressed in deep, rubbed onto the back of your tongue, perfectly down your throat.

sevika shifted- fuck she was behind you, not in front of you. her plush chest pressed into your back as her mech hand grabbed the remote from you, clicking it up twice and wrapping the arm around your middle, she had covered it in something, keeping the cold metal away from you, keeping it soft and cushioned and warm.

her hips humped against your ass, her fingers fucked your mouth, her lips trailed your neck. it made you dizzy, so dizzy as the fingers in your mouth forced your head back onto her shoulder, baring your throat, perfectly fitting her hand as wet fingers wrapped around it. her body covered yours so completely, draped over you and held you steadfast where she wanted you.

you pulled on the bindings about to cum, clawing onto whatever part of her you were touching. soft moans left you, whines, cut off whimpers... sevika squeezed your throat, her nose pressing against your jaw.

a whispy groan crawled out of your throat as your body seized and you finally came, twitching and squirming against her firm hold on you. the vibrations disappeared, and somewhere down the line you were pulled into bed, still blindfolded and bound, still deafened.

you were placed on top of her, arms secured behind your back as she draped the blanket over you. it felt impossibly good, and even if you didnt sleep, you werent aware of it this time. though whenever you began to move that night the vibrations in your underwear would start up again, and maybe some fingers would be bullied into you if that wasnt enough to stop your whining.

sevika kept you dumb and needy in the evenings, settled in servitude, and you slept soundly through the nights.

[lupinqs]

p being an annoying talkative fuck during sex LOL

TALKING TOO MUCH ━━ paige bueckers x reader

☆ ━ summary: paige is too damn talkative during sex

☆ ━ word count: 1.8K

☆ ━ warnings: smut!!!!!!! (strap, r receiving) just porn absolutely no plot

☆ ━ links: my masterlist

☆ ━ author’s note: i wrote this in like 10 minutes sorry if it’s shit lol

AS THE ROOM grows hotter with each passing second, the dim lighting casting long, intimate shadows across the bed, Paige’s body moves in time with yours, your breaths mingling. The weight of Paige against you, the rhythm of her hips, the heat building between you—it’s all you can focus on at first. Paige’s slow, steady thrusts drive you closer and closer to that precipice, each motion precise, purposeful.

But then Paige starts talking.

At first, it isn’t too much—just small murmurs of praise, things like “you feel so good” or “God, I love you.” Words that you’d usually melt over, but tonight, Paige isn’t stopping. Her words come faster, more incessant, and you find yourself struggling to focus. Paige’s voice, usually low and breathless and sinful, fills the space between you, but it’s becoming more of distraction than an enhancement.

“You like that?” Paige asks, her voice breathy but insistent, leaning down to kiss the edge of your jaw between words. “Fuck, mama, you’ve never looked hotter. Seriously. Look so good under me like this. Love seein’ it. D’you want it slower or—?”

“Paige…” Your breath hitches, not from the pleasure but from the interruption. You can feel Paige’s body continuing to move against yours, her strap going in and out of you, but the steady flow of words keep pulling your attention away from the sensation.

Paige presses her lips to your ear, her voice softer now, but still just as persistent. “I just—you’re so perfect, baby. So perfect for me. Can you feel how deep—?”

You let out a soft, exasperated noise, your head tipping back against the pillow as you try to regain your focus, the pleasure that’s been building actually starting to ebb away as Paige keeps on fucking yapping.

Genuinely, you wonder if she has ADHD or something.

“Paige…” you whisper again, a little more firmly this time, trying to guide the blonde back to the moment, back to the your bodies move so perfectly together.

But Paige doesn’t seem to notice. “I—fuck—I love how you feel, ma. It’s just—God, it’s so good, yeah? You’re incredible. Fucking incredible, baby. I could do this all fuckin’ night, seriously, just—”

You can’t take it anymore.

With a quick motion, you reach up and press a hand to Paige’s lips, your fingers gently silencing her mid-sentence. Her eyes widen slightly in surprise, her body stilling for just a moment as she looks down at you, confused.

“Shh,” you murmur, slow but firm, your eyes locking onto Paige’s with an almost amused frustration. Your lips quirk upwards slightly. “Baby, you’re talking too much.”

Paige’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, her lips still caught beneath your hand, but there’s a playful gleam in her eyes, as if she didn’t even realize what she’s been doing.

You don’t give her a chance to respond—or to start talking again. Instead, you pull her face down toward yours, capturing Paige’s lips in a kiss that’s anything but gentle. It’s deep, slow, and you pour everything you have into it, hoping to redirect Paige’s energy. Your hand slides from the blonde’s lips to the back of her neck, pulling her even closer, deepening the kiss until all you can feel is Paige—her warmth, her breath, the soft moan that escapes her as your tongue slips into her mouth.

Paige seems to get the message.

Her body starts moving again, her hips resuming their slow, deliberate rhythm, but this time, her words are replaced by soft, breathy sounds, the two of you finally beginning to sync. The tension returns, the heat between you rising again, and your focus narrows back to the feeling of Paige moving inside you, the way your bodies are pressed so tightly together, every inch of your skin tingling from the closeness.

Paige pulls back from the kiss just slightly, her lips hovering over yours as she whispers, “Sorry.” Her breath is warm against your mouth, but this time, there’s no rush to speak, just the soft murmur of apology, followed by another kiss, slower, deeper.

You smile against her lips, your frustration melting away as the familiar heat builds within your stomach. You pull Paige closer, your hips moving in perfect sync with here, no more words, no more interruptions. Just the steady rise and fall of breaths, the press of the strap within you, the warmth of Paige’s skin against yours.

This is what you needed tonight—quiet, intimate, just the two of you lost in the moment together. Paige, finally quiet, lets her body do the talking, her movements speaking louder than any words could. Every thrust is slow but purposeful, every kiss a promise, and you feel yourself sinking deeper into the sensation, your body trembling as Paige brings you closer and closer to the edge.

“Better?” Paige whispers after a long moment, her voice softer now, almost teasing as she pulls back just enough to catch your gaze.

You let out a breathless laugh, nodding as you tighten your grip on Paige’s shoulders, pulling her back down for another kiss, unable to form words through the gaze of pleasure building.

The blonde’s hips begin to pick up their pace, the rhythm of her thrusts growing faster and deeper. Your breath quickens, chest rising and falling in fast, shallow breaths. One of your hands falls from Paige’s shoulder to the mattress, your fingers digging into the sheets, gripping tightly.

“Fuck, P,” you gasp out, squeezing your eyes shut. You feel her pinch your hip a little, and it makes your gaze flutter back, locking onto hers, and she’s got this look in her eye that has your nails curling into her shoulder harshly.

Your breath catches as Paige’s next thrust hits deeper, the sound squelching, meeting that perfect spot right inside you. “Mm, so good,” you murmur to her, hand moving from her shoulder to her hair, tugging slightly. “Feels so good… keep doin’ that.”

Paige’s lips brush against your neck, her breath hot against your skin as she kisses her way down the curve of your throat. The soft, wet press of Paige’s mouth against your pulse makes your heart race even faster, the heat in your belly growing more intense with every second. You throw your head back slightly, hair splayed out across the pillow, as a soft moan escapes your lips.

“Yes, like that,” you gasp, body arching up against Paige’s. “Fuck.”

Paige pulls back just enough to look down at you, a smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth. Her eyes glint with amusement and something darker, more teasing. She’s covered in sweat, and she gleams all fucking over. “Who’s the talkative one now, huh?” she whispers, voice low and goading.

Your head snaps forward, eyes narrowing as you shoot Paige a look that’s equal parts frustration and desire. “Shut up,” you whine, the words laced with a mix of need and exasperation. But they’re barely out of your mouth before Paige’s hips move again thrusting hard, and you let out a louder, desperate moan.

Paige’s smirk only deepen, and she doesn’t slow down, doesn’t ease up. She thrusts agin, then again, her damned purple strap hitting that same perfect spot inside you with precision, over and fucking over. Your entire body tenses, your fingers clawing at the sheets as you let out another sharp cry of pleasure.

“God, right there,” you whimper, voice shaking. “Please, P, don’t stop.”

Paige’s lips find your neck again, her teeth grazing the sensitive skin just below your ear, sending shivers down your spine. She thrusts harder now, her body pressing you deeper into the mattress with each movement, her breath coming in hot, ragged gasps against your skin.

You can feel the tension building within you, your muscles tightening, your breath growing more erratic as Paige continues to slam her hips into yours, unrelenting, perfect. The pleasure could tighter and tighter in your abdomen, ready to snap at any second.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Your voice is barely more than a breathy whimper now, your hips lifting to meet Paige’s every movement, chasing that overwhelming, all-consuming release that’s just out of reach.

Paige pulls away just enough to look right in your eyes, her breath heavy, chest heaving, her lips swollen from the kisses. She rolls her hips again, watching your face contort in pleasure, your body trembling beneath her. A little noise escapes the back of her throat at the wet sound of her strap deep within your pussy.

“You close?” she asks roughly.

You can only nod, your mouth falling open in a soundless moan as Paige hits that spot again, harder this time, sending a shockwave through your entire body.

“Shit, ma,” Paige groans, her words returning as your climax approaches—she always talks the most when you’re about to cum. Her hand holds your hip down as her movements speed up, and the sound of her skin slapping against yours, the squelching of your soaking cunt—it’s overwhelming. “Listen to that. Tellin’ me to be quiet when that pussy screamin’ for me. Screamin’ for my dick. C’mon, now, baby.”

It’s true. The noises resounding from your lower half are loud and you’d probably be embarrassed if you weren’t so fucked out. And it only gets more obscene when her fingers find your clit, rubbing it in quick, sure circles.

“Cum for me, mama,” Paige murmurs, voice soft but commanding as she leans down to kiss your parted lips. “Cum all fuckin’ over me. Needa feel that sweet shit.”

That’s all it takes. Your body arches up off the bed, your back bowing as the pleasure finally snaps, sending you spiraling into a release so intense it leaves you shaking. Your nails dig into the back of Paige’s neck, tugging at her hair, eyes squeezing shut as wave after wave of euphoria washes over you, your entire body trembling beneath Paige’s.

She doesn’t stop, doesn’t slow down riding out your orgasm with steady, deep thrusts, her mouth pressed to your neck, whispering praises against your skin.

When the last of the tremors finally subsides, you collapse back against the pillows, your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. Paige slows her movements, pulling out gently before rolling onto her side next to you. She slips out of the strap before propping herself up on an elbow as she looks down at you, a soft, smug smile playing at the edges of her lips.

“You good?” she asks tenderly, trailing her fingers soothingly along your arm.

You nod, still trying to calm your breathing, your body feeling deliciously spent. You turn your head to meet Paige’s gaze, lips curling into a lazy, satisfied smile.

“Yeah… just… shut up next time,” you tease, your voice breathy but full of warmth.

Paige chuckles softly, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, her fingers brushing lightly through your damp hair. “I’ll try,” she whispers against your skin, lips lingering.

[deansbeer]

a hunter's remedy ⎯⎯ DEAN WINCHESTER.

⎯⎯ trapped in a motel with dean, you find unexpected relief from restlessness through helpful distractions.

YAP SESH! i swear i have the worst dean brainrot ever. he js won't leave my head no matter what i do. also gonna watch supernatural tonight for spooktober<3

WARNING(S) smut | friends with benefits | S1!DEAN | thigh riding | strong language. ୨ৎ EIGHTEEN PLUS! ADULT CONTENT | minors do NOT interact.

୨ৎ JENSEN'S LIBRARY.

you sat across from dean at the rickety motel table, your eyes occasionally flicking between the worn pages of john's journal and dean's focused expression. it had been hours since sam left for the library, promising to return with more information about the case, and the sun had long since dipped below the horizon.

your leg bounced restlessly under the table, a nervous habit you'd developed over years of hunting. the original plan had been to hit the local bar—a much-needed break from the constant research and hunting—but sam's extended absence had relegated you and dean to more case work.

"would you cut that out?" dean's gruff voice broke through the silence, his green eyes fixed on your fidgeting form. "you're making the whole table shake."

you mumbled an apology, trying to still your movements, but the restless energy continued to course through your body. your relationship with dean was... complicated. best friends who occasionally crossed lines that friends shouldn't, but neither of you ever complained about it. it worked for you both, somehow.

"i can't help it," you whined softly, shifting in your chair again. "we've been sitting here forever."

dean watched you for a moment, his tongue darting out to wet his lips — a gesture that shouldn't have affected you as much as it did. "come here," he ordered, his voice dropping an octave lower.

you hesitated, knowing exactly what that tone meant. "dean..."

"now," he demanded, pushing his chair back slightly from the table. "you clearly need help focusing, and i know exactly what'll help."

heat pooled in your lower belly as you stood, making your way around the table to where he sat. dean's hands found your hips instantly, guiding you to straddle his right thigh. you could feel the heat of his skin through your thin black leggings as they pressed against the rough denim of his jeans.

"there you go," he murmured, his breath hot against your ear. "now be a good girl and help yourself while i work. maybe this'll help with that restless energy of yours."

your breath hitched as he pulled sam's laptop closer, acting as if he hadn't just given you permission to get yourself off on his thigh. his free hand remained on your hip, encouraging you to move.

slowly, you began to rock against him, the friction of your leggings against his jeans creating the perfect pressure. dean continued scrolling through newspaper articles, but you could feel the tension in his body, the way his thigh flexed beneath you every so often.

"that's it," he praised quietly, his eyes still fixed on the screen. "just like that, sweetheart."

your movements became more desperate as the pleasure built, your hands gripping his shoulders for leverage. the material of his flannel bunched under your fingers as you ground down harder, the thin fabric of your leggings doing nothing to dull the sensation.

dean's grip on your hip tightened, guiding your movements when they became erratic. "focus," he reminded you, though his voice had grown hoarse. "sam could be back any minute. wouldn't want him walking in on his brother's best friend getting off on his thigh, would we?"

the thought should have made you stop, but instead, it sent a thrill through you. you buried your face in dean's neck, muffling your whimpers against his skin as you chased your release.

"fuck—dean," you breathed, your hips moving faster.

"i've got you," he assured, finally looking away from the laptop to watch your face. "come on, baby. let go for me."

your orgasm washed over you suddenly, your body trembling as dean held you steady. his free hand stroked your back soothingly as you came down from your high, your breathing gradually returning to normal.

"better?" he asked, a knowing smirk playing at his lips.

you nodded, still too blissed out to form words. dean pressed a quick kiss to your temple before gently nudging you to stand on shaky legs.

"good. now maybe we can get some work done before sammy gets back."

you returned to your seat, noticing how dean adjusted himself in his jeans when he thought you weren't looking. the restless energy was gone, replaced by a pleasant buzz that made focusing on the journal's pages much easier.

when sam finally returned an hour later, arms laden with books and local newspaper clippings, neither you nor dean mentioned how you'd passed the time waiting for him. but every time your leg started bouncing again that night, dean's knowing look across the table made heat rush to your cheeks, and you couldn't help but wonder if you'd need another "study break" before the night was through.

[motorsportbarbie13]

The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - The Wedding Night

In which you and Max spend your first night together as newlyweds.

Warnings: smut. this is all smut, minimal plot. talk of babies, breeding kink, birth control, lots of 'my wife' and 'my husband' use. i'm feral tbh Pairing: Max Verstappen x Podcaster!Reader Word Count: 2.6k

- The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Part 2 - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Part 3 - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Part 4 - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Bonus Sessions - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - The Royal Wedding - Master List

“Let’s get you out of this dress. I want to see what’s been under it all day.” Max whispers against your shoulder later that night when you’re alone in the villa. His fingers trail up your bare arm, igniting sparks of heat in their wake.  

You take Max’s hand, leading him towards the bedroom of your sprawling villa, eyes dark with need. As you walk, you let one of the thin straps fall away before slipping out of the second one. “I need help with the zipper, Max.” You say, voice a husky whisper in the quiet room. 

Behind you, Max is looking at you like he wants to eat you alive, the hunger in his eyes near feral. He reaches for the back of your dress without any more prompting, shaking hands dragging the zipper down painfully slow. Reaching up, you tug the bun out of your hair, enjoying the sound that Max makes when your hair tumbles down over your shoulders in a cascade of waves. 

Your wedding dress pools at your feet, a pile of lace and satin that you step out of, making your way towards the bed. Max just stands there, watching you go, hungry look on his face. 

Outside, the sun has fully disappeared below the horizon, leaving the villa bathed in the golden yellow glow of the interior lights. The salty air flutters through the open back doors, the crash of the ocean creating a soft soundtrack to your first night as a married couple. 

You crawl onto the bed wearing only the white bits of lace lingerie that you’d bought specifically for tonight and when you turn back to face Max, you’re struck by the look of sheer lust on your husband’s face. Husband. You still were getting used to working your tongue around that word. It was wild, how strange but natural the word felt falling from your lips. 

“Are you going to leave me here alone, husband?” Gazing up at Max through thick lashes, you smirk before catching your bottom lip between your teeth. 

Max seems to snap into action then, stalking towards you as he unbuttons his linen shirt that suddenly feels to constricting. “Open those legs for me, lifeje. I want to see how good my wife tastes.” 

A thrill zings through you at being called his wife and you can’t help the whimper that leaves your lips in response. 

Max joins you on the bed, kneeling before you between your open legs. He bites his lip as he reaches down to slip his fingers under the band of the bits of lace that covers you. “So pretty.” He murmurs before he shifts his weight forward, leaning in for a kiss. 

“Max.” You sigh against his lips when he kisses you, whining a bit when he licks into your mouth. 

“Yes, wife?” He mumbles, mouth not daring to leave yours as his fingers dip beneath the fabric at your hips. He chuckles darkly when his fingers reach their destination, finding you soaking wet for him already. 

You arch against him, pleasure already burning deep in your core at just his touch. “Can’t believe I’m your wife.” 

“Fuck, that sounds so good.” The rasp of his voice sends goosebumps skittering down your spine, despite the room being warm from the day’s sun and heat. “I’m so lucky you chose me to be your husband, schatje. Let me show you how lucky I am.” 

“Please.” You beg against him, hips rocking up against his body in an attempt to get some relief from the aching need that has been thrumming inside you since you said your vows earlier in the evening. 

“Lay back and let your husband do all the work tonight, okay love? Can you do that for me?” Max trails open mouthed kisses down the column of your neck, stopping to suck little reminders of your wedding night into your skin so you remember tonight for days to come. 

“Anything for you, baby.” You manage, the sensations of Max’s lips on your skin and fingers working over your clit almost too much to take already. 

He trails more kisses down your body, sucking purple bruises into your skin as he makes his way to his destination, enjoying your sharp intake of breath every time he nips at you. “You like watching me with my head between her thighs, don’t you?” He asks when his head dips between your legs, hands finally pulling off the lace covering your pussy. 

The pleasure of having his hands and mouth on your body sends the buzzing in your head to another level, so loud you can’t focus on anything beyond Max’s touch and voice. You idly wonder if it’s possible to come from just hearing Max call you his wife over and over. It’s an experiment you’re willing to run. 

When his tongue splits you open for him for the first time, your hips snap up off the bed in a needy reaction. He slings one of his arms over your hips, pinning you to the down comforter. Your hands sift through his thick hair, tugging on it when he dives in. Long, languid licks lap up the mess you’ve already made for him and the way Max works you over with his mouth nearly sends you into another universe. 

“I can’t believe I get to eat you out for the rest of my fucking life.” He muses, barely coming up for air.  The only response you can muster in your haze of lust is a choked sound of surrender, a sigh of relief when his tongue finally presses against your clit for the first time. “Oh, my good girl. My pretty little wife. Do you like that?” 

“Yes.” You hiss, back arching even more into his waiting mouth. 

Stars explode behind your eyelids when he pulls your clit between his teeth, the sharp bite drawing the most erotic moan that Max has ever heard out of you. From his spot between your legs, Max slips first one and then two fingers into your wet little cunt as you continue your grind against his mouth. “That’s it, use me to get yourself off.” His voice is muffled by his refusal to remove his head from between your legs but you hear him well enough. 

You feel that telltale sign of liquid fire pouring down your spine as Max works you over with both his mouth and fingers. Your entire consciousness eddies down to this one single place, all that matters is that Max never stops and you never have to go another day without his mouth on you or fingers inside you. “Don’t stop.” You beg, blindly reaching for anything to hold onto, eventually landing one hand in his hair and the other fisting the white sheets beneath you. “I love you so much baby, fuck. Holy fuck.” You sob, hips grinding up into his mouth in a desperate search for relief. 

You tumble over the crest of your orgasm so quickly it hits you like a freight train, your hands fisting Max’s hair so tightly the pain mixes with his pleasure delightfully. His name tumbles out of your mouth so quickly it’s unintelligible babble. All Max does is hold his tongue against your clit and fingers deep inside you as you spasm against him. “That’s it, baby. Look at my sweet wife coming all over me. You look so pretty coming around my fingers, schatje.” 

He talks you through the rest of your orgasm until you’re quiet beneath him, breath coming in short spurts as you try to recover. “Max.” Seems to be the only word you can find in your vocabulary, which suits your husband just fine. If that’s the only word you can say, he’s glad it’s his name and nothing else. 

Max crawls up your body when your climax finally subsides, face glistening with your slick mess. He licks his lips, all swollen and red after licking you so good. You look so effortlessly gorgeous beneath him, he has to take a moment before he do anything else. 

“I have another present for you.” You whisper when you regain the ability to speak. 

Max cocks a brow at you. “I thought we weren’t doing any more gifts, little miss ‘I hate when you spoil me’.” He teases, biting at your neck. 

You roll your eyes while lifting your hands to frame his face. “Remember when I went to see the doctor a last week?” 

Max nods, remembering how you came home in a significant amount of pain afterwards. You had refused to give you any details behind the appointment though, just saying that you were due to get your period soon and it was all hormones. “Yeah, and I’m still annoyed you wouldn’t tell me why you went.” 

“I had my IUD removed.” You murmur, eyes searching his for his immediate reaction. 

“You…what?” Max’s heart stalls as he draws back to get a better look at your face. 

This had been a topic of discussion between you two before, of course. Trying to decide if and when to start a family was a huge decision and both you and Max had decided that you wanted to start trying sooner rather than later ages ago but this? This was a complete surprise. 

You worry at your lip, wondering if you went too far without consulting him. “I had my doctor take out my IUD.” 

Something feral and animalistic snaps in Max at the thought of tonight being the night he finally puts a baby in you. If he had had his way, you’d be round with his baby ages ago but you had insisted on wanting to do it the ‘right’ way by waiting until after you had been married for a bit before even trying. “That is the best wedding present you could have ever gotten me, schat.” 

Relief washes over you in waves when his words register. “Yeah?” 

Max grabs at your hips, tugging  you closer to him before kissing you with an intensity that sends your head spinning.

“Now, turn over.” You do as he orders, a shiver of anticipation shooting up through your spine. “Ass up. Yeah, just like that baby. Ass in the air so I can fuck a baby deep into you.” He growls. 

If removing your IUD was all that it took to get Max to absolutely manhandle you like this, you would have gotten it removed sooner, you decide as he gives your bare ass a few short slaps while you wriggle back against him. Max pumps his aching cock with his hand a few times as you prop yourself up on your elbows. 

“You look so pretty like this, just waiting for me to take you from behind. You like this don’t you? Want me to fill you up, baby?” He leans forward, whispering the filthy words in your ear, causing you to whimper in response. 

You should be embarrassed by the needy, high pitched whine that tumbles from your throat when the tip of his cock finds your aching entrance, anticipation twisting deep in your stomach. Max latches onto your hips with both hands, letting out a guttural moan when he sinks into you, the slick wetness from your cunt practically swallowing him whole. “Fuck.” He shudders, fingertips digging bruises into your hips. 

For a few moments, Max has to steady himself or this entire thing is going to be over in 2 strokes. The blinding tightness of your pussy distracts him from all other sensation and thought as he focuses on how warm you are around him. You struggle against his size, the stretch from him filling you up burning in the most satisfying way possible. From his position behind you, Max is able to hit that spot deep inside your walls that sends all coherent thought out of your head. “Max.” You whine, wiggling your hips back and forth in a desperate plea for movement. “Max, please. Please fuck me.” 

“Fuck I love it when you beg for my cock.” He grunts while pulling out of you before thrusting deeper again. Max’s eyes drop down to where you’re joined together in the most intimate way and the sight he sees nearly sends him over the edge. “We look so good together, shatje. Look so good gripping me like that.” 

Max slides in and out of you, hands gripping your hips to control the pace as he settles into filling you up over and over. 

You pant beneath him, back arching up in sheer bliss as you push your ass back against him so he’s forced to plunge even deeper inside you. “God, you’re so deep Max. So big, filling me up.” 

“My wife likes being all messy for me, doesn’t she? Wants me to fuck a baby into her the first night we’re married, huh?” 

Just the thought of you walking around, belly swollen with his baby has Max’s hips snapping even quicker against you. For several moments the sounds of wet flesh slapping against flesh fills the room, interrupted only by your needy moans and Max’s grunts. He desperately ruts into you as he leans forward, draping his large frame over yours. Max wraps his fist around your long hair, creating a ponytail with his hands and yanks so hard your vision blurs from the delicious blur of pleasure colliding with pain. 

White hot heat pours down Max’s spine and he knows he’s not going to last much longer like this. The way your silky soft hair wraps around his calloused hands, the sounds that you’re making under him, the scent of your arousal wafting through the air, all of those sensations combine to create an overwhelming sensory overload. 

“Oh my God. Max. Cum in me, please.” You beg, sending your husband hurtling even closer the edge of his own release as he feels you spasm around him, velvet vice like grip clamping down on his cock. “Fuck a baby into me, please, Max.” You’re babbling now, a melty mess of need and desire to feel your husband’s cum dripping down your thigh. 

Something fractures in Max at how utterly fucked out you sound and everything goes white behind his shuttered eyes. The moan that rumbles through him sends you over the edge for a third time that night and you’re so exhausted and overstimulated having not nearly enough time to recover from the second one Max fucked you to. When he spills into you, the white hot ropes coating your walls, you let you the neediest whimpers of the night. The way he feels buried deep inside you combined with the open mouthed kisses he’s showering on your back and shoulders sends you off into an exhausted space that you hope you never return from. 

With Max done and still draped over you, body heavy on top of yours, your elbows finally give out and you collapse into the mattress, body sprawling beneath Max’s. Neither of you can move for several moments, the heat of what just happened has exhaustion seeping into your bones. 

The catastrophic emptiness that you feel when Max does pull out of you has you near tears it’s so unnerving. When you flip over, tired sighs falling from your lips, Max immediately pulls you into him, fingers dancing down between your legs. You jolt when he stuffs three of his fingers into your overly sensitive pussy. “Don’t want any of that to go to waste, now do we.” He chuckles as he buries his head in the crook of your neck. 

A sore sort of pleasant exhaustion takes over your body as you wriggle back against the warmth of your husband’s body. “I love you.” You sigh, eyes drooping heavily as Max reaches behind him to switch the bedside light off, plunging the entire bedroom into darkness. 

“I love you too, wife. Always.” Max’s response is the last thing you hear before drifting off into a deep fucked out sleep that has you passed out until late the next morning. 

tags: @shelbyteller @formulaal @martygraciesversion381 @samantha-chicago @chlmtfilms