#fuck i got attached. i got too attached
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ah. i forgot everything has a time limit
#realizing some things that line up <3#on why things have been like this in my life for a while#why did i fucking think i could avoid it#i thought i was better now. i thought it got fuckjng better#my narrative coincidence is once again biting me in the ass </3#i know things don’t last#but fuck i wish they did#fuck i got attached. i got too attached#and i forget that everyone leaves in a manner that i could always see coming#but i always refuse to look#zephyr talks#vent
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they licensed his ass
my finished piece of the FWMS (official name definitely 100%) thing we started a few days ago! I had fun I hope folks had and/or continue to have fun with the sketch as well.
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhsy#riz gukgak#Fuck With My Sketch#I mean it I'm gonna use that. gotta stop me if u dont wanna#doing things like this is bittersweet bc this slaps and I look at this and Im like well. I will never be able to nail this look again#I guess that's the plight of self taught art. but also it means you have to learn to let go and go look for different delights#you can't get too attached to one way of doing things. you will find many new things on ur way to make more funny bictures n such#this slaps tho Im so happy with how this came out lol. its be a long while since I last drew something in this vein#appropriate that its for riz lol he deserves it. he deserves the photoshoot pieces#funny enough this also kind of was prompted by drawfee? in one of the episodes I was binging (I thiiiink the one bg a day ep)#jacob brought up one of the artists I follow on twitter (havent been there in a decent while lol) who uses a pretty distinct#blue-on-red palette that got me to think abt teal-on-red and then this happened#funny enough I did start the piece with teal-on-red but then I shifted to blue after and was like wait I love this suddenly#and then committed lol. I should work with teal-on-red properly more but for now! we have fun! we enjoy#thats my journey thank u for listening. thank u for drawing with me if u have and come hang next time if u havent
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Tempted to write a replaced au twst fic where Yuu (or alternatively, I'll use my Yuu, Riyuu, who is basically who I'm writing this for) used to be the cutest girl around, the cheery one who's always around everyone, the one you can't seem to dislike even if your crush falls for her because she earnestly says sorry (even though it's not her fault) and will always help you out if you need her back in her old school. But one day, a new girl comes around and her whole reputation got destroyed. She helps the new girl adjust, tells her all the rumours and introduces her to all the popular kids. But the girl ends up backstabbing her, telling the popular girls rumours about how she intentionally plays up the act to steal their crushes to her, and lies to the boys, telling them she's just playing with their hearts and that she's a horrible person.
Yuu ends up alone and excluded, being seen as "annoying" and only having a few close friends who doesn't really interact with her in public in fear of their reputation being ruined. She ends up miserable at school, and wishes to not go anymore. But one day comes a saving grace, she gets whisked by a mysterious black carriage into Twisted Wonderland, or more specifically, Night Raven College. She doesn't mind working if it meant she doesn't have to deal with her old school, there was still 1 and a half years left of school and she doesn't want to deal with all ghe group projects to be assigned that will inevitably end with everyone not wanting to team up with her. Plus, as annoying Grim is, he's like the animal friend all of the anime and storybook protagonists she knows has, and she doesn't mind him too much.
Some things did change after she and Grim got officially enrolled, but she had no problem adapting to the social expectations of the world, part time jobs with Sam -- and occasionally the canteen -- paid enough to get her tools for cooking basic but delicious food, and new friends without the weight of her past helped her get settled comfortably.
The existence of Overblots stunned her for a bit, but a peek into Riddle and Leona's memories helped her understand the concept, even if just a little. However, things began to change eerily simlarly to her old school when a new girl comes, also in a similar position to her, getting transported to a new, unfamilliar world, and seemingly hailing from a similar world to the Earth she knows. She warmly welcomes her, eager to finally befriend another girl, but it seems that the girl does not share the same enthusiasm.
The girl only barely responds to Yuu's attempts at forming a friendship, and always seems to talk her in a condescending way, and often dismisses her, and especially so whenever there are any boys around.
Yuu will not deny any statements claiming she's an attention seeker or that she plays up her sweet innocent girl act, but she knows to never, ever sacrifice a bystander for it. But if someone insists on war with her... well that's another, different story. She's learnt her lesson of being overly optimistic, and she will not make the same mistake twice. She will not let her make her life a living hell more than it already is with Crowley's irresponsibleness.
Aaand thus begins the story. Or well, however you wanna continue it. I'm honestly in favour of most Housewardens (Kalim, Vil, and Idia in particular. I'll put my reasoning in a few paragraphs down) Adeuce, Tweels, and Ortho for team Yuu. Why?
Well, first of all, Adeuce. This is mostly because the duo is like. with Yuu since Day 1, as much of a bitch as Ace is, I think those two are the most likely to trust and know Yuu well enough to not believe the lies R (< Replacer) tells. Especially Deuce, he doesn't want to betray a friend he knew for quite a while, that would not be very honor student-like of him!! And she helped him out in a lot of situations too! He doesn't want to hurt you after all the trouble you go through to help him, and also knowing how horrible your living conditions are. Ace would most likely give in to peer pressure if the student body is overwhelmingly in favour of R, but as of now, he maybe enjoys your company just a bit more than R. Just a bit, promise.
Tweels I feel like is self-explanatory. Those two are perceptive as fuck istg it scares me. Jade especially. I feel like the two would just toy with R for a bit despite her facade and lies before dropping her after she bothers them for attention and favours one too many times.
(Ortho ties in with Idia so I'll explain him in Idia's paragraph)
Kalim is actually very emotionally intelligent. He can come off annoying and stupid, but from all the scenes I see of him, he's actually really good at dealing with people. Have you seen how he deals with the Scarabia residents after Jamil's OB??? The way he phrases his sentences?? He didn't force or even plead with them to forgive Jamil, he simply asks them to wait before making permanent judgements, and I think he's gonna be uncomfy with how condescendingly R talks to Yuu, and even if he's used to people going after him for money, I feel like R mostly eyeing him for money and how she "secretly" sighs in annoyance everytime she goes out of the party for a "bathroom break" will only solidify his dislike/discomfort, even if he doesn't show it.
Vil is also kind of self-explanatory if you read into his character and not just the shell the official English localization makes for him. (I could rant for hours about how the official tl portrays his character istg. He's hardworking and he actually didn't attempt to poison Neige out of pure jealousy, he did it because he felt like all his efforts to be beautiful will never be able to surpass Neige, who, in his eyes, always seemed to be innocent and naturally beautiful. He feels like the villain in Neige's story. He feels like he is reduced to what he often plays as, a snobbish, overconfident villain obsessed with overthrowing the hero. And because of it, it became a twisted self-fulfilling prophecy, pushing him to, in a fit of despair, be that same villain everyone sees him as.) I really don't think he will take well to R's condescension to Yuu, who genuinely wants to befriend R. (I actually have a whole thing in my head where Yuu and Vil occasionally have sleepovers where they do skincare together after the whole VDC thing happened. I feel like this is also a "vent sesh" of sorts for the both of them, just to air out their grievances without much seriousness, and I think Yuu would admit to wanting a fellow girl in the school that she could befriend, since no matter what, being the only girl can be exhausting.) Ik Vil's not a girl but he is such a girls' girl istg.
Idia... this mostly ties into Ortho and The STYX Incident, but like,, I think we can all agree on this one,, Idia is smart and capital V Very pessimistic. Would you rather trust the girl you've known for a while, who saw your memories, who helped you in awkward social situations when she can and is besties with your brother or some random new girl who trash talks said girl behind her back? The former, right? Plus, even if Yuu did only hang out with him and his brother because she likes to secretly laugh at him behind his back, there's mo guarantee R wouldn't do the same, given his experience. And he would rather have someone who actively helps him and his brother out than someone who wouldn't.
I didn't put Malleus in because of how canon him actually treats Yuu. I feel like the fandom kind of put on rose-tinted glasses on with his character, and kind of ignored some things like, idk... him just leaving them to fend for themselves homeless during Octavinelle... maybe he thought Crowley would offer them a place to stay but like... I'm still bothered by how didn't atleast offer a spare room in Diasomnia. He's a housewarden goddamnit. He's not as distant or scary as the rumours say but like. still rubbed me the wrong way.
Anyways I don't think my attention span will let me write it to completion so if anyone likes this and wants to write it feel free. Pls tag me if you do tho. I would love to read it :3
#was listening to all eyes on me while writing this btw#You can also insert an Obey Me crossover with Replaced AU on that end that also ended horribly#“First' the worst; maybe third's the charm!”#I don't play Obey Me though so I can't rlly construct the narrative for that one#Also I don't hate Malleus nor Malleyuu I swear#I just think we're a bit biased with his actions sometimes...#Anyways if anyone wants to just ditch the school for RSA#Valid. You're 100% valid#I just got attached to Adeuce Kalim and Vil lol#I would just run to RSA if I ever get the chance tho#Fuck Crowley noone likes Crowley 🙂😇#twisted wonderland#twst#Do I tag twst x reader???#fuck it why not it's literally based on an entire angst au anyways#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#replaced au#twst replaced au#twisted wonderland replaced au#okay enough tags I'm tired#I'm not gonna tag the specific characters mentioned#I'm too tired and I don't wanna :3#Also R is used for Replacer for this entire thing sorry#I haven't played twst for a long; looooong while but I like some of the boys too much to let go [sigh]#Also just bc it's fun to think about#Waiting for Limbus or HSR to get updated so take some twst brainrot in the meantime#I love Villainess manhwas#Ofc I would love Replaced AUs
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wonderful
#there is a ranboo that goes withthis but i didn't like how he was looking imma restart from scratch tmrw😭😭#ctubbo#michael beloved#ctubbo fanart#Guys you have no idea what i went through today like it wa fucking crazy i need to share this#so i went to the mall after school right and im going home at like 8 on the train with my friend bc i was supposed to be picked up ay her#stop right but then im told to just go to my stop and take the bus and im like ok sure but the problem is my phone is on SEVEN PERCENT and w#hen i get to the stop my moms like u have money for the bus right and im like ueah and i check and i have NO MONEY#BUT I DIDNT TELL HER ANUTHING BC I DIDNT WANT HER TI GET MAD BC I KNEW SHE WOUDKNT WANT ME TO WALK ALL THE WAY HOME AT NIGHT (FOURTY BLOCKS#So im like ok im getting on the bus now my phone is on four percent i have to WALK HOME allll that way and there's this crazy ass upward hi#ll that's like ten blocks long ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD but like my mom thinks im on the bus so im trying to speed walk as fast as i can and i#RAWDOGGED it too because MU PHONE WAS GOING TO IDE!!!!#I made it home at two percent U guys i was so proud of myself thank u for listening#IM SO MAD IT WOUKDVE BEEN OKAY IF I WASNT IN A RUSH And also if i had music uggghhh Whatever#I bought this really cute skirt at garage hold on let me find it#lexi pleated skort color Navy blue ITS SOOOO CUTE got some new leg warmers too yesss....#I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSIT APP i woukdve been able to attach my apple pay and buy the stupid ticket if my phonewasnnt#too dead to do al that...#Guys always make sure u carry cash with yiu goodbye
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i have GOT to get more insane abt lifeseries joel and grian. they’re so fucking everything. late game last life for them really is like the both of us are at our absolute lowest and can’t really be bothered to care anymore, but there is a kind of freedom in allowing yourself to pretend you’re a monster without remorse, to let yourself grow vicious in a way you’ve been trying to rein yourself in from. the two of them take each other hands, all grasping claws and sharp-toothed grins, and say monsters it is then, just the two of us. they just. they understand each other in a way nobody else quite does. the two of them settle together in limlife and,,, they can just feel the seconds counting down until their names turn red and the world grows sharper and they grow sharper with it. they’re comfortable with what they’ve got— jimmy and the bad boys and the bread bridge and all of that, it’s lovely— but there’s an anxious, giddy anticipation growing between them and they can both feel it.
#uraaggrrhhr i love them…..#trafficblr#limited life#grian#smallishbeans#last life#i’ve been affectionate calling them wolf duo since last life#which i know is not entirely accurate anymore considering 1. pearl and ren also both have wolf stuff going on and 2. wolves are just kinda#common practice on most of the server now#but also URAAGRHRH i got too attached to them with wolf imagery#just. ugh. them and their fanged grins and pack of hounds surrounding them. absolute fucking insanity i tell you#this is an extremely niche post made basically just for me but i hope you see the vision#mouse.txt
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I miss goro. Bring his bitchass back
#chattin#thinking of him in strikers is funny#local hermit and murderer out in the sun and living free#i think he would like sophia. not a whole lot but like. maybe hes a lil attached#thinkin about him having to be in a camper w the thieves is so funny#my mans is NOT sleeping in that fucking tent. hes finding some rocks to huddle under for warmth#but also. him and makoto riding up front#hes prob got his license too so they share driving duties#this is purely based off of my hcs for him since i didnt play royal but still wanted him alive#maybe his connections w shido also make him a suspect? i dunno#so by saes suggestion; he begrudgingly goes along w them#i think. it would be healing for him to see monarchs and their reasons for being so cruel#to know that they were in a bad place and acted out maliciously bc of it#and to see them grapple w the consequences of their actions#they did awful things even if they thought it was worth it. and now they have to start over#and guess what; life doesnt just end or stop; they gotta keep going#obviously this would make goro gag and block it out. he would hate it.#but it would still be healing#the guy at the boiler room who believed that maybe…..he could change……..hes still there
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happy never stop blowing up finale day to all who celebrate
#can’t wait to sob when it’s over bc i got too emotionally attached to this season#if anyone is looking to talk about nsbu even after this week my dms are always open!!#i know we have a tendency to kind of move on to the next season in the d20 fandom but i fucking love this one so much#so. yknow#anyway#dimension 20#never stop blowing up#nsbu
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so why did nobody tell me actively trying to date would make me feel lonelier than ever
#it's the thought of the potential happiness just to get ghosted and wondering if you're even worth the effort.......#and then it's the feeling of someone finally putting in effort but not feeling the spark you seek so you cut it off to not#waste their time or feelings#it's the getting attached way too quickly to someone who apparently didn't care but acted like he very much did when you were with him#like. i cried when i rejected a dude. i didn't even want him that's why i rejected him?? but i guess i miss the feeling of being wanted??#which is fucked up? as i was perfectly fine on my own for years? but i guess getting a sneak peek at what “could be” is fucking me up#maybe i should stop and get therapy first. LMFAO#if you read all this im so sorry i'm ok just had to let it out. problem is i got nothing to do this week. next week i'll be distracted&fine
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kinda crazy for augustus to pull up with the "i hope you can be stronger than me, and be rid of the curse" that is VERY paraphrased but you get it if gwen really does somehow inherit this shit i think she'll destroy it by sheer power of being the first woman shes gonna girlboss so hard no this isnt denial wdym
#denial? like the river?#sorry#i just love her too much#i got attached to all these silly guys far too fast#and now im like damn. theyre fucked#gwen!!!! you can do it!!!!!!!! fight the violin or whatever augustus said#the magnus protocol#tmagp#magnus protocol#tmagp spoilers#gwen bouchard#gwendolyn bouchard
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thinking about when guts sent a bunch of his men directly into zodd's meat grinder without even knowing demons like him existed. and that moment after the fight where casca runs to griffith unconscious on the floor and tells guts it's all his fault. and the time gambino tells him he's bad luck and should have died instead. and about how he tells griffith he cares about his men, and how casca doesn't seem to see it. and the time guts is thinking about casca telling him it's all his fault (after he got griffith hurt) and then griffith comes to him and says (like it's nothing) do i need to give a reason every time i come to save you? or whatever. like he's worth it. like he's worth dying for, and like it can be a choice people make because they value you. like he's a good luck charm, like griffith needs him to reach his goals, his full potential. like griffith is not enough to make it without him. like griffith finds out when guts leaves. fuckin.g gnawing someone else's legs off because i still need mine to run into traffic
#so guess who's rewatching berserk 1997 lol#berserk#i hate griffith i hate him i hate him he's bad i hate him (<- deeply tragically attached to him. im so not normal about him it's fucked)#aghhh can't wait until break so i can read more. i've ended up just consuming the golden age arc over and over for various reasons#and it's so good it fucking rules i just need to keep reading past that too bc that's Also good#and i have! i just have more to read oh hey it's midnight my paper's due haha#(it's fine it doesn't matter genuinely i will be fine)#anyway my older sibling's been buying those bigass tomes they sell and he got a bunch more a while back so like. more to read more to read#also side note but they smell so fucking good it's actually unfair#but anyway i keep on being like nooo i gotta go start over so i can get the momentum and then i get brainstuck/distracted and don't actuall#get very far past the lost children subarc (which i've read i think 1.5 times now)#ANYWYA. berserk good. no i don't ever make content for it but every like 4 months or so it infects me quietly
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#choso#my baby boy#if youre wondering why the background like that ™️#it's because his skin tone is so fucking light that i couldn't even see what was the (white) background or if it was choso#i was planning on changing it but i got attached but it was to dark for my tastes so i shoved the lighter green in there too#choso kamo#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen
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one thing I really really appreciate abt riz gukgak as a character is that he is un-self-aware to the max. he inhabits his body so completely. the arc that would usually be run as "I'm different and unable to connect with my friends in this way that everyone seems to be able to do and so something's wrong with me and I don't like myself" when it comes to riz is actually like no! I have literally no problems or praises for myself personally. I don't stand outside of my own self and judge it. it's phrased as "other people will eventually find someone more important to them than you" rather than centering it on his self-perception. he doesn't know why he doesn't have the best social life on earth even though he's not afraid at all to talk to other people. every time he sees himself in someone else's actions or behaviour he gets startled by it. his latest epilogue is realizing seemingly for the first time that he's not just an agent of causes but an actual character. he's my hero and I want to be him when I grow up
#not art#fantasy high#this trait with him is kinda why I don't really ascribe any prominent trans narrative to him. even though hes very gender#I think I said once like bc he didn't just walk into the girls bathroom I don't think he finds himself on that axis in general#bc if he's any less attached to his gender he would 100% have done it lmao#and the great thing is the more he gets comfortable with his friends the less self aware he becomes#saying shit like ''chop his head off so he doesn't revive'' fully uncaring for the optics. I love him#its honestly great esp. with the Living While Goblin stuff going on too. no inner conflict with that dude#he's fully great! he's awesome he's all gucci. the world is just fucked and that's why shit sucks for him#(this makes me doing something model-minority-adjacent for bard!riz a bit harrowing shdjsh I dont wanna lose this)#(he's dictated by fear but it doesn't mean he reflects those fears back onto himself as a person lol. at least kid got better)
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Steve finds himself in an alternate universe where no one has ever heard of the Upside Down. He is very surprised to find certain people there, alive and well.
Part 2
#stranger things fanart#steddie#stranger things#steddie comic#steve harrington#might wtite this into a fic#or make some more art for it bc im growing attached to the idea#ofc barb being part of the team changes things. billy hargrove is still alive too#and chrissy#the au could go 2 ways either there is sfill an upside down & they dont know about it so steves got to take charge and deal with that#or there legit is no upside down and everyone can just chill out for once#i feel like after explaining the situation the group would have a hard time wrapping their head around the idea that this steve#unlike their steve is a monster hunting badass#and the kids are like noooo i wish d&d was real and Cool Steve was from our universe 😔😩#and steve is literally just having the time od his life like theres no upside here yessss thank god fuck yes#anyway yes steve and eddie are wearing each others clothes here
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King and Eda are fucking pissed.
Both of their reactions throughout this whole scene in Watching and Dreaming fucking destroyed me man. Their complete, wordless shock followed by unbridled grief-stricken rage just…. hit hard. Havent really seen art for this moment so wanted to take a crack at it.
Also since I’ve been experimenting more with procreate, I learned that it automatically saves a TIMELAPSE. So now YOU TOO! Can see my abysmal drawing process. I’ll either add that in a reblog or in a new post, so just keep an eye out if you’re interested in seeing that I guess.
Anyway tumblr’s gonna fuck up the quality so I’m putting CLOSEUPS under the cut.
#tried to post this with the timelapse attached before but i think she was too LARGE and it got mad#SO! I will post it in a reblog or something#or a new post?? i dont know whats better#anyway AUAIAGAOAIAUAHAHAOUAGAGAH I LOVE GRIEF FUELED RAGE AND INTENSE EMOTIONS#and i love trying to figure out how to properly CONVEY the INTENSITY of those emotions in my art#so HOPEFULLY! I succeeded here lol#i sorta wish that king and eda had more time in the episode to go completely apeshit and attack belos#but i understand the writers probably had to be super tight with how they handled time so I cant be too mad about it#FUCK DISNEY FOR REDUCING THE SHOWS LENGTH EDA AND KING DESERVED TO BEAT BELOS TO DEATH FOR 10 MINUTES#anyway I should. probably stop ranting in the tags#the owl house#toh#eda clawthorne#king clawthorne#watching and dreaming#toh season 3#toh spoilers#myart#toh fanart
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i always say i dont want a book to have a screen adaptation out of fear of them doing it dirty and then i think of the most perfect casting ever for the main character and im like FUCK now i wont sleep until i see this happen
#yes im still thinking about walker scobell as simon snow and i will not stop thinking about it for years#look at the last gifset i rbd TELL ME THATS NOT JUST FIFTH YEAR SIMON SNOW#i read carry on when i was SIXTEEN and i am not exaggerating i have been trying to cast simon for the last 8 years#ive had some pretty solid options for baz but for some reason simon has been so hard to find#but this kid oh my god he fits him so perfectly hes such a great actor but also he just looks exactly like how simons described#just give him a little more freckles and moles and that is simon snow#and percy and simon are very similar characters so i COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT i lost it when he fought the chimera with a sword#im so attached to carry on i would be absolutely DEVASTATED if it was adapted terribly so ive always said i didnt want any adaptation#BUT FUCK WALKER SCOBELL LITERALLY IS SIMON SNOW AND NOW I WANT IT AAAAH#SOMEONE PLZ TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS SOMEONE ELSE HAS GOT TO BE INSANE ABOUT IT TOO#now im gathering pics of every kid actor i want for each character and im putting them next to each other like theyre action figures#might make a post about who id cast for everyone i have so far#DEFINITELY will if someone asks me to#walker scobell#simon snow#carry on#snowbaz#books#books and reading#booklr
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ugh gonna have to start a new sourdough starter; this one has a bit of mold in the sides of the jar (not on the starter itself) and ik some ppl on the internet say u could just take some of it out to a new jar and keep going, I think the safest bet is to just start over. It's only a month old, and better to go back a month than to always wonder if I'm lowkey poisoning myself every time I make bread (and wouldn't feel comfortable abt sharing that bread/starter with other ppl bc one thing to poison urself, but others?? that's a big no).
#sucks but anyways it's a process#and I don't fuck with microbiology; too easy to accidentally grow something weird and bad#elvis truly is dead lmao (that's the name of the starter (and will be the new one's as well bc I will live one delusion that it's the same#one in spirit bc I got emotionally attached to this one))#also ik what I did wrong; like yesterday I kinda forgot to feed it and also the sides of the jar weren't fully clean (bc usually I switch#jars like once a week; not every time which is what I'll start doing from here on out)#but the new one I think I'll feed twice a day from the beginning bc noticed it rly helped ti get it going#so it might not take as long as the last one#2024#april 2024
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