#fuck having autism sometimes it’s so awful at times

[somepancakeonline5377]

Anyway autism, yeah it can suck BALLS having it man. Here’s a weird rant about random shit related to autism that makes me pissed

Honestly I’m scared to get a autism diagnosis due to the fact that you will never be seen as a responsible, respectful individual no matter how capable you are simply due to the fact your brain function differently then most. A lot of people heavily misunderstand it and a lot of people think it’s a myth or just bullshit like that. Your mere existence can be considered “wrong” “something that needs to be cured”

Also the fucking term Asperger’s Syndrome makes my blood boil. For those who don’t know it’s no longer a proper term for two main reasons. Due to the fact it’s not really needed at all as a person with Asperger’s is just another person with ASD, they call it Autism SPECTRUM disorder for a reason. The other more AWFUL reason is the fact is the person who it was named after was a FUCKING NAZI. LOOK UP HANS ASPERGER IT IS CLEAR AS FUCKING DAY IT SAYS HE WAS A NAZI I AM BEING SO DEADASS.

And the school system really sucks ass to, as a freshmen it’s just so frustrating and school as been frustrating ever sense THIRD DAMN GRADE. ITS SHIT. Nearly every teachers way of teaching just doesn’t bounce of me at ALL, AT A FUCKING ALL. But asking for help is so embarrassing that I rather wait until someone points out my shitty grades then actually ask for help. I mean yeah I am NOT helping myself but I genuinely cannot understand any of the shit going. I am stuck in a damn rut here!! Yet no teacher has like EVER confronted me for my grades either!! LIKE THATS YOUR JOB FUCKING DO IT

Having a special interest and hyper fixation also sucks major dick too. Genuinely like I can’t think straight for like WEEKS AND WEEKS on end only thinking about this thing I love, I can’t shower, eat or sleep at times too!! Hell sometimes, especially with my spinterest, I can’t even STOMACH IT. ITS SO UNBEARABLE. IT MAKES ME SO EXCITED I CANT EVEN PROPERLY INDULGE IN IT.

Doing research on autism as an autistic person is the most anger inducing thing on earth.

[denkies]

Omg i haven't been updating lately but guys I'm moving out of my abusive household :D it's so surreal and anxiety inducing and change is scary but i will persist!!!!!!!

[duke-daemon]

hazbin hotel redesigns wooooooooo

okay so. i'm gonna discuss my thoughts about them n shit, putting under a readmore bc it's gonna get long and rambley. sorry in advance for the shit formatting, i'm on mobile </3

just some general shit about how i would rewrite it. i think the premise of redeeming sinners is entertaining but is executed horribly. i also am a fan of the "heaven isn't great either" idea but again, executed horribly. i'd make the hierarchy of angels more accurate because it's cool as hell and i have autism about it. the characters from hell would swear still (albeit not as much), but the angels would outright refuse to swear or make vulgar jokes ever. this would be partially to further the gap between heaven and hell and make the differences more stark.

hell would also be more like dante's inferno (again because i think its cool). the ars goetia would get a full redesign and would be more prevalent in demonic society.

now for the characters!

---

VAGGIE VALTIEL:

starting off with vaggie, or Valtiel as i've renamed her because let's be honest her original name sucks. Valtiel (Val for short) was an aspiring power angel who wanted to be an exorcist. she looked up to lute and thought the idea of killing demons was really cool and badass. however when she actually was on the field for the first time she discovered how awful this actually was. she tried to help a few demons but lute figured it out and felled her right then and there. the rest of her story is relatively the same. personality wise she's more stoic and less prone to all-out aggression. she still get angry, sure, but it's in a quieter and more menacing way. you DO NOT want to fuck with Valtiel.

CHARLIE:

next up is charlie! i had two ideas for her. the first one (unsettling drawing) has her as a mannequin/doll type demon. lucifer and/or lilith was unable to conceive and as such they built a kid from scratch. she's overall similar to og charlie personality wise, very kind and cheerful despite her unsettling appearance. she struggles with empathy sometimes but really does mean well. her motive for rehabilitating sinners is so they get to see their family again. being able to see heaven from where they are in hell must make them sad, so she wants to help make them happy again!

the second idea for charlie has her as an angel. specifically i casted her as a dominion angel due to their reputation as holy judges. she was once a demon but has been rehabilitated and has risen into angelhood! she now wants to help her former kin do the same and redeem themselves in heaven's gaze. again, similar cheery personality, but a bit more prudish in this rendition

tangent time!

as a side tangent, valtiel and charlie would have a different relationship in this rewrite. their relationship felt shoehorned in in the original show, like it was just there for the hell of it. we didn't see much development between them and it just felt kinda bland. so in my rewrite, charlie and valtiel are amiable exes. they tried dating when valtiel first fell (when charlie was still a demon in the charlie-angel version) but realized their feelings for each other were much more platonic than romantic. they ended things off on good terms, deciding they were much better as friends. they are still besties to this day! later charlie ends up with emily (or 'ellie' as i plan to rename her)

back to the characters

Alastor:

note: i made alastor mixed-race, which could be seen as bad by some due to vivzie saying he's black. however, as many have pointed out, he has no ethnic features whatsoever and i honestly wouldn't be surprised if she said that just to get away with using voodoo symbols (a closed religion) in his imagery/design. like viv, i am incredibly white and have little to no knowledge of voodoo, and even if i did i would not use it for something like this anyways due to the stigma the religion already has and (again) it being a closed practice. as such i removed it from his concept altogether, but made him mixed race (white passing) because.. why not i guess, i forgor my actual reasoning

with that being said...

alastor is by far my favorite of the redesigns and i'm honestly tempted to turn him into a legally distinct oc. i imagine he's somewhat reserved, along the lines of norman bates albeit a bit more extroverted. during his life he was a serial killer with a day job as a radio announcer. he took pleasure in reporting about his own murders on the radio, but that is eventually what got him caught (ie accidentally letting slip info that wasn't released to the public). as a result he was sentenced to death. upon arriving in hell, he quickly rose through the ranks to borderline overlord status and is a feared presence by demons and sinners alike. why is he bothering to assist in the hotel project? who knows... his motives are a mystery, like the rest of what he does

(he isn't actually alastair crowley i just thought the naming convention was ironic. however he may have also dabbled with satanic magic in lifetime..)

Angel Dust:

TW: brief discussion of SA

this is definitely my second favorite redesign. i loooove insect themes and wanted to do more than just Extra Arms, so he now has fucked up legs and a lot of eyes too! story-wise, angel used to be a criminal mastermind, hated by both the mafia and the feds. he was a gentleman thief, arranging massive heists under the cover of night while also partaking in the occasional drag show. he ended up a cocaine addict later in life, which caused his work to become sloppier. eventually he was killed in a heist gone wrong, specifically shot by the police.

i'm not gonna go too in-depth on the SA part of his story, but he is hypersexual due to being assaulted in both his life and afterlife. it would be something he'd be working on in the rewrite. his reason for coming to the hotel in the first place may have even been for help with this trauma. underneath his sultry exterior is a broken guy who really just needs someone to care about him for who he really is and not for what his body can do.

LUTE:

so lute and adam are some of the characters i have the most gripes about. the biggest one being why viv chose adam as the leader of the exorcists in the first place. if she wants a biblical figure tied to demon killing, Archangel Michael is RIGHT THERE, aka the one destined to kill satan during the events of Revelations. if she wants the first human to die, that would be Abel, not Adam. and i kinda doubt abel would want to do the stuff that HH!adam has been doing. if she wants an angel related to torture, Dumah is her guy! an angel that rules over wicked souls and tortures sinners every day except sabbath. so many better options...

with that out of the way, Lute is still the lieutenant of the exorcist, who are a specially chosen group of powers sent to purge hell once a year. think navy seals. she's pretty much the same as in the show, albeit more muscular and visually different from other exorcists (seriously why do they all look exactly the same?????) she's a very repressed lesbian who hasn't had time to work on that due to her duties

i also redesigned the exorcist uniform/armor because those LED purge masks are fugly as hell and their clothes don't even look remotely like armor.

Adam + Final Thoughts

i did start a redesign of adam but got bored of it. regardless, i think he'd be the head of C.H.E.R.U.B. instead of the exorcists. he doesn't want his children to make the same mistakes he and eve did, so together they started C.H.E.R.U.B. to help lost souls stay out of hell

final thoughts uhhhh i'm tired. show sucks, it had so much potential but viv ruined it by being a shitty writer and an even shittier person. the designs are fine i guess but they all look exactly the same and are in desperate need of variety. the humor is dogshit, saying dick and balls and penis over and over and over again doesn't make it any funnier than the first three times you made that joke. anyways that's it, i hope you liked my inane ramblings. gonna go vanish for another forty years or so, adios

[ghostofdiamonds]

alright having watched the first half of dungeon meshi here are my impressions of the main cast + a couple other funky little guys.

overall: they literally seem like an actual dnd party from a campaign. my headcanon is that when falin died, the dm asked her player if they wanted to make a new character and the player created senshi.

laios: himbo. BIG himbo. I love him. I know he was concerned for his sister but it sometimes felt like he was more excited about eating monsters than saving his sister. I don't even think Falin would blame him she seemed pretty excited too when she found out they were eating monsters. also not to diagnose people with autism but like. if he's not autistic I have no idea what he is.

marcille: I love this girl. she's gay as fuck and I love her. she was least open to eating monsters but by the time they reach Falin she's acclimated to it. she does magic by the book yet she specializes in forbidden magic. her main combat spell is blowing things up. she's an icon.

chilchuck: this is a man who knows what he's about. middle aged man in a union who got paid upfront. you think marcille is the normal one but I'm pretty sure it's actually chilchuck. AND YET he grew to care about the party and will go back down to the dungeon with them.

senshi: SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A COOKING SHOW STAT. imagine that you study a super niche thing for years and one day you're minding your own business and you hear someone say "aw man we're all out of options guess we've gotta do *very niche thing you specialize in*. That was Senshi. he'd been waiting his whole life for this moment. I just KNOW he was having the time of his fucking life down in the dungeon with them. he's living his best life with people who appreciate his cooking and I love that for him.

falin: absolute sweetheart. deserves better in every way. can the universe give this girl a fucking BREAK and also a girlfriend (*cough cough marcille*). she seems normal at first glance but I feel like she's just as crazy as her brother.

kabru: MY BOY. loved his design ever since I saw him in the opening. he and his party are so bad at staying alive oh my god. I can't wait to see more of him.

namari: okay I didn't like her for abandoning Falin but I get it money is tight. if nothing else I respect her for apparently (according to my friend) being bisexual and crushing on the twins she works with.

[selfawarecobalt]

fuck it. thunder legion headcannon notes page reveal as i nearly accidentally deleted it last time i tried to update it and its slowly delved into more and more hyper specific madneas with each new addition

*Bixlow is an incredibly picky eater, but Freed will eat just about anything.

*Evergreen stress shops, Freed stress cooks, and Bixlow stress eats. very efficient system. noone cleans. less efficient

*obviously freed takes rules EXTREMELY seriously, but only the ones he agrees with. he does not give a fuck about general laws, but he does care about ones imposed by a figure of authority he respects (not many)

*on that note, hes infamous with the rune knights because they literally cannot apprehend him. the second they blink, hes undone the jutsu shiki and is outta there. they’ve basically given up at this point

*freed has perfected the irish goodbye, and trained the thunder legion in it too. laxus however, is a hopeless case. he’ll just turn around and walk away mid conversation

*thunder legion? ideal blunt rotation. theyre yappin for hours. any weird ass question you think about? freed could probably answer it. evergreen’s your BESTIE who will back you up and die for you on any hill. bixlow becomes the single greatest comedian in a 50 mile radius

*freed and bixlow share an apartment together. evergreen technically has her room in fairy hills but that spare bedroom has enough of her stuff in to be considered hers

*bixlow uses he/it pronouns. he came into my house and told me

*evergreen is a trans woman and came out shortly after meeting freed and bix. one advantage to being such an outsider in the guild meant noone realised she’d transitioned. not many people know, only makarov, laxus & the thunder legion, and elfman. she wouldnt mind other people knowing but it never really came up and what does it matter really. shes still the prettiest

(when she came out to elfman she was extremely nervous about what he’d say (or that hed say something about it being manly) but he excitedly told her that it was “so womanly!”)

*they can all sing to some degree. evergreen still has the “teenaged girl showing off” voice and freed’s is like butter (seriously have you heard junichi suwabe sing? if i wasnt aro id be deeply in love with that man). bixlow, however, actively chooses to sound awful

*echolalia. they ALL have echolalia. its a nightmare sometimes

*evergreen is the single most talented braider in the entire guild

*bixlow is the only one who can correctly portion out pasta. he chooses not to.

*autism

[phightingheadcanons]

i compiled a bunch of subspace and medkit headcanons because they plague me. they plague me. they anyways . uhjjmmm subspace headcanons r. im not gonna lie i got some of these from deadplate. but. THERES!! a lot of these. be prepared 1. I don't think he can eat properly. Not only because of the rot, but because not being able to taste things irks him, so he has to make a smoothie out of it 2. I thuuink i think he already. was struggling with an ED before the disaster. and not being able to taste/the rot makes it. way worse 3. I think! I think he has bipolar and audhd. 4. He keeps his hair short on the side of the rot so it doesn't irritate it 5. hes. extremely touchy. not to be affectionate. he's just always in peoples personal space 6. Often chews on his fingernails and/or picks at his skin. bad habit of his methinks 7. i think he listens to like. metal. specifically freak on a leash and rotting in vain by korn really reminds me of him 8. scarring and burns. like. everywhere. coupled with the rot obviously. i think in his line of work he gets injuries pretty easily even when trying to be careful 9. EXTREMELY tone deaf. but also sometimes ignores social cues on purpose because he knows it annoys people 10. hates the rain. he hates the sound of it. he hates the water. it ruins his day. heres medkits ... 1. Also can't eat very well but its mostly from. after the disaster. he completely lost his appetite and also lost a lot of weight just because it was. really hard for him to find the energy to even get up let alone eat 2. generally kind of. not able to take care of himself very well. even if he can take care of others 3. extremely depressed. like. really bad seasonal depression + chronic (it gets worse when he sees snow though. reminds him of blackrock) 4. during his blackrock days he would straighten his hair. he can't afford to do that now though because its too expensive + too much energy 5. god AWFUL doctors handwriting. scythe hates it. nobody can fucking read it except for medkit 6. He has generalized anxiety, depression, and PTSD, as well as autism 7. hates being touched except for in very specific situations. he also hates being close (physically) to people 8. adding onto the last one, he HATES when people touch his back or his shoulders. IMMEDIATE fight or flight response 9. extremely bad posture. shrimp posture. im telling u 10. painted his horns teal because they were originally green. he doesn't like the color green very much. nor does he like that pinkish-red color (reminds him of subspace) 11. (somewhat canon? not the indie part) usually likes classical music. sometimes dabbles in indie music. he's not into the loud shit 12. violin and piano player .... 13. tried to sand down his fangs at one point. why? i dont know! 14. his sarcasm is crazy. if he's not being sarcastic its not him 15. loves the rain. he likes the quiet and being alone but when it's deathly silent it spikes his anxiety. so the background noise is nice. it also means he has an excuse to stay inside AND!! combined headcanons. things i have that i hc for. both of them 1. both of them have hand tremors. subspace's are a little worse though 2. even though they both have separated (and medkit really tries to stay away) they both still have habits that they got used to from being around the other. medkit still makes extra of things by accident because subspace would always steal it. subspace still keeps a blanket in the lab because medkit would always fall asleep at the desk. i could keep going on im so serious. they are so horribly intertwined in the worst way possible and even if they hate each other that red string is still there. its still there. do u get it. in this essay i will- anyways! thats it for today. sorry guys i needed to YAP

"Looking. Respectfully. Peak as always. This fits them so well that I can't even explain. I would yap more, but I'm tired, and my shoulder hurts from a shot I had recently, so another time TwT"

[tubbypeddle]

Hi again!! I loved the matchup thank youu!! Now I'm wondering though if you maybe have any headcanons for what the part 5 characters (Bucci Gang and/or La Squadra 🤭) would be like with an autistic s/o 👀?

Hi again!! and how cutteeeeee <33 I'm autistic myself, so honestly i'm just projecting here how i want them to treat me teehee

(author's notes: credits to gif owners, of course <3

Without further ado, hhehehehe

Bruno Bucciarati

He doesn't always understand why you do the things you do, but he always always makes an effort to be patient.

He'll eat the food you can't, he'll listen to you ramble and ramble and show genuine interest. He's basically the perfect partner.

Sometimes, when he's out running errands and finds something related to what you're hyperfixated on, he'll get it for you if he has the cash.

When he's making food for you, he's careful to make only food that you'll enjoy eating. Many chicken nugget and mac and cheese dinners.

He's a little firmer with you than he is with the rest of the team, when it comes to you getting hurt. It's because he worries more for you than he does about everyone else. Not only are you his partner, but he feels responsible for your safety. If something happens to you, it's because of him.

Leone Abbacchio

Honestly, he might make you feel a bit bad at first, but it's not on purpose. He doesn't know what autism is, or how to handle people who have it.

But he learns to. Because he feels bad when Bucciarati tells him that he made you feel awful.

So he goes out of his way to research how autistic people feel, why they act the way they do.

Because of his (kinda outdated) research, interactions with him might feel so so scripted. He means well, though.

When you're feeling overstimulated and like every little touch could set your bones on fire, he's happy to just sit in silence with you. As a silent reassurance that he's still here for you. Or even if you want space alone, he'll let you know that his door is unlocked for you, if you want to come to him later.

You're his favorite person, he wants you to know that he's here for you.

Giorno Giovanna

He's autistic himself, even if he doesn't know it.

So he understands you a lot better than everyone else will.

He lets you talk whenever he's available for you, and he often makes time for you in his schedule too. He does a great job making you feel special to him.

Often times, the two of you will sit in relative silence, just existing in each other's presence. But sometimes, when he feels especially jittery, the two of you will infodump on each other about your special interests. He just rambles on and on about the Mafia and what he plans to do with it, and then he'll listen to you ramble about whatever it is you're interested in.

He has a bad habit of eating foods that he doesn't like the texture of, leading to him shutting down or feeling gross afterwards. Mostly because in his childhood, it's either he ate what his house had or he starved, autism be fucked.

It's something you slowly nudge him out of, with much stubbornness on his end. Internalized ableism is so fun, huh. /s

Pannacotta Fugo

He definitely already knows he's autistic himself, so he often does things for you that he himself would enjoy happening to him.

He gets you gifts for your special interests, or he'll research your special interest so he can talk about them with you.

He's very anxious all the time, scared he might hurt you or do something to hurt your feelings. You might have to reassure him very often that you're not scared of him.

His favorite thing to do with you is read together. Like a little book club with just the two of you. Or even writing little essays about things you like so you can read his thoughts and analyses on them. Or drawing with you, even if he's really bad at it. Art composition was his worst subject when he was in school, after all.

He didn't have any hyperfixations before he met you. Which was a little boring for him, even if he spent most of his time trying to survive the mafia anyway. But after meeting you, you became his favorite person. And then you become his new hyperfixation, and you're all he can think about ever.

It's very infuriating for him sometimes. (in the good way)

Narancia Ghirga

Another case of "doesn't know he's autistic".

He's the loud kind of autistic. Socially unaware, but emotionally available to everyone. It's no surprise that he feels himself drawn to you.

He'll talk if you don't want to, he'll eat everything you don't want to (even if he doesn't like it). He just really wants you to like him.

He absolutely lets you indoctrinate him into your special interests. He likes whatever you like, and more! He might accidentally talk over you, just because he's so excited to finally have someone to talk about his interests with.

He means well, though.

Absolute cuddler, all the time. So if you're not that big on physical touch, he'll find another way to cuddle you. He'll put a big body pillow between the two of you and hug that instead, just so he can still be next to you and still hold onto something like that.

Never say that Narancia doesn't have his moments.

Guido Mista

He's very open-minded most of the time, so he handles you being autistic very well.

He handles all of you little "quirks", as he calls it, very well, too. His mentality is "if you don't like it, you don't like, and if you like it, great."

So if you don't want to eat something because of texture issues, that's fine, he'll take it. You don't want to hear something because it feels like glass on your skin, he'll turn on something else.

It really is that simple to him.

He just wants for you to be happy, and if anyone gives you trouble for something that you can't help, he'll shoot them. Easy as that.

[bitethedevil]

What annoys you about fandom culture

Oh that’s a spicy question.

Had you asked me a couple of years ago, my answer would be very different from today. I was a proud member of the SuperWhoLock fandom on here as a kid (I still shudder to think about it), and that was usually what I first thought of when the word “fandom” was uttered.

I think I’ve had a pretty negative view on it for a very long time. Mostly I saw fandom culture as cringe. I later got diagnosed with autism and found out that many of the things I found awful and cringe about fandoms, was me internalizing the insecurity I had about my own hyperfixations and I was projecting that onto other people who were obsessed or passionate about certain subjects.

Now “cringe” is a term I’ve tried to kill in my own life. It has been difficult for me to be really unashamedly into something, but you’re on this blog, so you know I’ve certainly gotten somewhere with it lol. I also first and foremost would never put someone else down about their interests, no matter how borderline obsessive they might seem and how they express that obsession. Because if it happened to myself, I know how things like that would crush my enjoyment when I was younger. It’s a very “let people enjoy what they enjoy”-sort of mind set I’ve tried to develop.

Now, if there is something that annoys me, a part of it is related to the statement above: don’t yuck other people’s yum. It’s not too bad on tumblr (in my limited experience). A few negative posts might make it into the tags every now and again, but I don’t mind that too much. You’re allowed to hate the characters I love.

Any kind of media should be open for whatever interpretation the viewer/reader gets out of it. I even like reading Raphael-hate sometimes if the person has some arguments that I haven’t heard before. As you might have noticed from my humongous list of analyses posts, I like picking things apart, and I like seeing other people doing the same, even if it might be in a negative light.

What I don’t like is when it’s: “fuck this character! how can anyone like this character”. Like sure, fair, but don’t tag that specific character (I know that my examples have been pointed towards Raphael, but I know that some Raphael fans have done the same the other way around). I don’t particularly like the Emper*r, but I’ve tried my best to make sure those posts don’t end up in their tags.

These are things across characters though, but it happens within a specific fandom too. I’m not a huge fan of the posts that are like “this character would never (insert statement)”. I don’t like when a version or an opinion of a character becomes canonized through the fandom and presented as fact. This ties back to the thing about me liking to hear about multiple interpretations and that I think all of people’s personal interpretations are valid. It makes it so that media becomes set in stone and then you are unable to gain anymore from it. It ruins it. You don’t agree with a specific version of a character? Then don’t read it. Or do, and maybe gain a new perspective.

My other points would be those that are obvious: don't harass voice actors or any other real life people because you like a specific media or character. Don't be silly.

I also want to be fair and say that this is the first fandom that I have been super active in in years, and I've said again and again that I love this fanbase for how open and kind it is. I think it's the perfect fit for me tbh. I have dipped my toe in other, more popular fandoms but I have quickly found them too overwhelming, because you have to cater to very specific interests in order to even be heard if you are making content, which quickly creates a very limited eco-system and thus some of the problems above might emerge. Here there is a little bit of everything and when you type in the "raphael bg3"-tag, it isn't loaded with thousands of pages of content anymore. That makes me more curious about things I wouldn't normally be into and that broadens my horizon a bit. I like that.

(Thank you for the ask <3)

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

8. What sort of disability representation would you consider ideal for you?

11. What is one question, idea, or talking point about [your] disability that you are so tired of?

8. if speak for self n not for entire community! stuff that not shy away from realistic violent ableism n things that make audience uncomfy. want see accurate nonverval high support needs I/DD representation, not shy away from hard stuff but not tell it from entire life tragedy disability tragedy perspective, nor inspiration porn happy all time or secret little genius, or perfect lil saint angel (sometimes we real assholes). show HSN I/DD ppl happy & be okay with disability even when face with inaccessibility. see us date n in love! have sex! learn! be good at stuff!

n also want see HSN I/DD character just exist! outside disability stories.

EDIT oh n!! HSN people who can’t like. do “impressive things” but we still around bc take care community take care of vulnerable people still important !!

n also, just like wheelchair user character be played be wheelchair using actor, autistic character be play by autistic actor… want see nonverbal character be play by nonverbal person, high support needs character play by high support needs actor… which especially HSN I/DD actor, can be quite unrealistic (inaccessibility of acting & set + often our support needs n disability make acting impossible), so really hope when people celebrate “x character play by x actor,” like “(HSN) autistic character play by (LrSN) autistic actor,” we not just celebrate autism part but we also at least talk about how support needs difference power dynamic. because even if there no alternative, have someone autistic but not HSN play HSN autistic character, for example, not automatic make feel less mocked.

so many times see people celebrate some film disabled character play by disabled person!!! n it wheelchair user play by wheelchair user, which absolutely great!! but in same film nonverbal AAC user NOT played by AAC user not to even mention nonverbal person n no one bat eye n. just feel betrayed n ignored by all

11. oof many… why nonverbal about all the time experience n why shouldn’t say go nonverbal or nonverbal episode or sometimes nonverbal… how some people prefer nonverbal over nonspeaking n how they not always mean different thing… how disabled ppl will identify in way you not like even if you also disabled, like severity labels (also how not everything is fucking autism)… how having more support needs than nondisabled not make you medium or high support needs, how struggle more than non autistic not make you level 2 or 3… all ways autistic community awful to people with intellectual disability n also down syndrome cerebral palsy etc many I/DD… how no you can’t “reclaim” r word if you not ID how be bullied not same as systemic oppression… can go on n on

especially tired of these because… it not like they not important but. there so many other important things like how people without functional communication still not getting AAC, how so many I/DD people not get age appropriate developmental milestone appropriate cognitive intellectual appropriate education, JRC still shocking people, how special education often god awful but also next 4 years US lose many protection that keep it in place n lose what little had in first place… n instead of talk about those advocate for those advocate for direct changes, am stuck here talk about these terminology issue over n over n over again.

ask game

[lotusarchon]

𐙚⭑ 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐬 .ᐟ.

Element:

⋆ Ether

Birthday:

⋆ May 26th

Constellation:

⋆ Velum Caeleste

Region:

⋆ Suraya (Trinidadadian 🇹🇹)

Affiliations:

⋆ usagiiribbons (prev. on Tumblr, now on AO3 only)

⋆ lotusarchon (prev on Tumblr)

⋆ @tomoeffect (Tumblr + rp account)

⋆ @dragonboyanon (Tumblr)

⋆ divider by @plutism

Special Dish

⋆ Stormbreaker Jalebi

Name Card:

⋆ Ali Celestial Radiance

⠀⠀ ⠀the akash archon of the nation of suraya ⠀ׂ 🏵️ ♡ ִ

welcome, welcome! the stars and I are pleased to have you. what can I do for you under the vast expanse of our skies?

I'm Ali! Or Usagii, honestly, whichever is easier for you to remember and use. I'm just a dude tryna write in my free time to cope with my crappy life. Yeah, I know a lot of you like to stalk accounts and bring up the topic of "my life is better than yours", but I don't care. This is my safe haven...until I'm forced to delete it again because of assholes.

Uhhh...what do I say....ah.

I'm 18 years old (26.05.2006), I use masc pronouns (he/him)―(however, she/her and they/them are fine, but they're uncomfortable when strangers use them, because I'm used to be referred to as a AFAB in a disgusting way by people that dislike me), a proud Trini (a bit) and I like writing. I hope to one day further pursue this silly hobby into a career if my motivation stops killing me all the time. Currently, I have a few characters for an original story that I want to edit, but I also have OCs for the fandoms I'm in, depending. Currently, my biggest hyperfixation is Lego Monkie Kid, so that is what'll flood my account the most.

Warning; this account does reader inserts, discussions of self shipping and oc x canon. If you don't like that, leave. Also, it's not spoiler free!! NOT SPOILER FREE!! BE CAREFUL CAUSE I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU GETTING SPOILED!!

I don't believe in zodiac signs, but they're funny to listen too. I've been told I show traits of autism and bipolar disorder, and I do relate to a LOT of the symptoms however I am not diagnosed and I am not self diagnosing myself. Furthermore, I also will not use this as an excuse for any inappropriate or awful behavior. This is simply a warning for anyone that visits my account; I do have a weird set of moods that are...bad in one way.

Additionally, I rant. Sometimes I have a lot of peeves about character portrayals, fanon vs canon, and certain things. I am tone-deaf and I am also passionate and write as I think when rambling, so I've been told it "offends" certain bitches. However, that isn't my attention when rambling. I do understand people are comfortable writing (incorrect) character portrayals, and my rambling is not to hurt or make anyone feel insecure about their writing. Write what you want, I don't care. I'm not going out of my way to hate on you for what you're doing. I express an opinion and furthermore I always avoid content I hate.

If you're from my old server and go by a specific six letter name or four letter name, fuck off, why don't ya? And, for others; if you have a problem with me, I promise you can say if. No need to be like Six-bitch and Four-fuck and go hiding like highschool children. I'm an adult, and hopefully, you are an adult on my account. I do understand my behavior can be bad, and you can tell me. As a human being, I do want to change. Don't be like Six-bitch and Four-fuck and hide and lie, because surprise; that means I'm better than you, because I'm not hiding like a pussy.

Finally, yeah. I do tend to be blunt with my words. I also tend to overexplain, so my apologies if I ever come off as an annoying or offensive.

...do I have anything else to add?? No idea.....

Ah, okay.

I specifically write on three websites only; Wattpad, AO3 and Tumblr.

My Wattpad account is lotuseios. And I haven't posted there for a while, but majority of my oc fanfics were usually posted there.

Currently, I only have AO3 and Tumblr, of which is already mentioned. I only do reblogs on there though. Well, for one. The other is for roleplaying so hey, go hit me up there, I'd love to meet new roleplayers. My AO3 is usagiiribbons only. I have no alternate accounts for AO3, so if ANY of my fics from Tumblr, AO3 and Wattpad are posted on any account or other social that is NOT stated here, please let me know. Like, I'm honored you'll steal but bitch you have bad tastes and fucking get a life and a soul cleansing. (I stole that line from Four fuck heheh).

Ummmmmmmmm. Hmmm I don't think I have anything else....?

Ah, wait. TW.

I am a victim of grooming and sexual abuse/assault and child abuse. This isn't to explain any behavior, however, I'd rather not have people bring up any topics related to this on my blog. I also much prefer no one makes requests like these. As a writer, I do cope by writing with similar themes, but please understand that I'm not romanticizing or glorifying these topics. They're uncomfortable and gross, and when I see proshippers using their trauma as an excuse while being a victim myself, it sickens me. If you think it's okay to glorify this shit because you were a victim, seek better therapy, because your therapist is not working well for you. Aka, proshippers, fuck off my account.

additionally: my theme and current persona may contain elements of genshin impact but I'm clueless on anything new. I like spoilers though, so don't be afraid to share them. Additionally, the entire theme of my Genshin persona right now takes heavy inspiration from my own culture in the Caribbean and my East Indian descent, and also because I am still pissed at the lack of melanin in Genshin. Consider my fake land of Suraya to be filled with POC characters because fuck this.

“oh, you’re leaving? well, safe travels! I’ll be here, watching over the skies and waiting for your return!”

[theoceantot]

Chapter 9

Since the moment Y/n was born she was already rejected by thr world. She had two loving parents that worked good paying jobs and spoiled her to death. That was until the diagnosis. When Y/n was two she all of a sudden wouldn't respond to her name whenever her parents were talking to her, started biting them, and had tantrums when things were too loud.

Worried about her daughter they took her to a doctor where they figured out she was on thre autism spectrum. Both her parents were disappointed and started treating her differently since then. There was no more warm hugs and "I love yous" just angry glances and quick snotty responses. School was no different. The bullying was awful and the teacher did nothing about it. By the time she was 11, Y/n would start to act younger to cope with not having a childhood. Sometimes voluntary others involuntarily. She didn't know why she did this until she was in the library reading a psychology book and the term "age regression" was mentioned.

Since then you'd steal some adult pacifiers, coloring books, and stuffed animals to hide in your room. This helped with your school and home life becasue you finally had a way to cope with the abuse. Then the night the demon attacked and ripped your mother and father to shreds. You sat in the corner of your room holding your stuffy close while you cried.

Muzan heard you and slammed the door open. He's never seen any of his victims act like this. He was intrigued. Not intrigued enough to let you go though. He kneeled down to you and you started hitting your head against the wall. Muzan chuckled and stuck his finger in your stomach releasing his blood into you. He left as you screamed in pain. You would have died if a spirit with hanafuda earrings didn't help. He held you in his lap as he petted your hair.

You were confused becasue you couldn't physically feel him but spiritually you could. You haven't seen him since but every night you wished he'd come back. Instead of seeing your savior again you've been getting night terrors that would result in panic attacks. Shinobu knew the other girls needed sleep so she asked the other hashira if she could stay with them for a week to try and solve your night terrors.

To her shock and disbelief Sanemi said you two could stay with him. When she asked why he just said.

"Its my way of apologizing"

That was enough for her so she took you two to Sanemis estate. She knocked on the door until Sanemi opened the door. Shinobu was wearing her usual attire while you were wearing the demon slayer uniform with a matching harori. Mitsuri had it custom made for you saying how it would be so cute for you two to match.

'Fuck she's cute' Sanemi thought.

"Salami!"

'Nevermind..'

Y/n quickly embraced Sanemi in a hug. She was so much shorter than him so the embrace was barely at his waist. Shinobu had to cover her laugh with her hand while Sanemi glared at his fellow hashira. Eventually, Y/n let go and went to explore the house leaving the two colleagues to chat.

"Are you sure about this? I can't promise you're going to get a good night's rest"

"I figures as much. Let me take care of her while you rest. Your eye bags say it all"

Shinobu twitched her eye. How rude! But he was right. She was exhausted and needed sleep if she was gonna keep caring for her baby.

"Are you sure about this? If you need me don't be afraid to wake me up"

"I've got this just get your ass to bed"

Shinobu nodded and headed off to a guest bedroom. Now that left you. Sanemi knew he was way over his head but he needed to earn Shinobus forgiveness. He grumbled and walked around trying to look for the regressor. After some time Sanemi found her sitting in the shade outside looking up at the butterflies. Her eyes seemed like she was thinking about something sad.

"Why am I such a freak" Y/n whispered and then cried into her teddy

Sanemi wasn't sure how to comfort you. You'd probably freak out if he touched her so he tried a different approach instead. He quickly went to the kitchen and made some ohagi. As he finished up he turned around to see your purple tear stained eyes clutching your stuffie. Sanemi awkwardly handed her some ohahi which she took with her hand and shoved in her mouth quickly eating.

"Nummy!"

Y/n eyes glowed brightly when suddenly a pair of purple butterfly wings appeared on her back. Sanemi just stood there mouth open trying to process what he was seeing.

A little that could fly...

A lot of trouble

"No fucking way.."

"Fuck?"

Oh god, now he was really fucked

"Brat, you can't say that?"

Y/n cocked her head to the side in confusion not understanding what she did wrong. All she said was a word that uncle Sanemi said. How was that bad?

“It’s a bad word that you’re not aloud to say just leave it at that”

Y/n nodded her hand and kept eating the ohagi. After eating the five more that were on the tray Sanemi offered to take her on a walk around his estate which you happily agreed to. On the condition that he carried you which led to a long sigh but did it regardless. After 10 minutes he felt a small bite in his shoulder. Sanemi then remembered that this is how the little one showed affection and admiration to the people she loved.

“I’ll let it slide just this once”

Y/n giggled and hugged his neck. Sanemi stopped walking and froze. When his little siblings were still alive they’d cling onto his neck when their father would beat his mother. He’d hold them close and tell them everything would be okay and that’d he’d protect them.

Y/n thought something was wrong so she put her hand on his cheek and was about to cry. Sanemi snapped out of it when he heard her sniffles.

“I’m okay brat calm down” Sanemi softly said and started to bounce her on his hip. This caused Y/n to start laughing and start swinging her legs. Sanemi smiled at this since nobody was around to see him. Not only that but Sanemi was actually happy. It was like being with his little siblings all over again.

“Wanna fly kid!”

“Yaa”

Sanemi threw Y/n high in the air and then catches her. The third time Sanemi throws the baby in the air butterfly wings come out of her back and she starts flying.

“Kid come down” Sanemi orders

Y/n tries too but she keeps going further higher and higher in the air. At this point she’s freaking out and crying. Sanemi uses one of his wind breathing techniques to launch himself in the air so he can grab her and return her safely to the ground.

Y/n was shaking in his hold trying hard not to cry but some tears managed to escape.

“It’s okay kid you’re safe” Sanemi softly said and rocked her back and forth. Right now you just wanted Shinobu. Of course you loved Sanemi but he wasn’t your caretaker.

“Mama!”

‘She has been sleeping for awhile now hopefully she’s well rested now because I don’t know how to deal with this’

Sanemi carried you back into his estate being shocked to see Shinobu sitting on the couch.

“Oh my poor baby! What’s wrong?” Shinobu worryingly asked.

Y/n reached her arms out to her and Sanemi sat you next to Shinobu.

“We were playing and when I threw her in the air those damn wings came out”

“What wings?” Shinobu asked curiously

“The brat has butterfly wings and can fly on top of having all those damn insects around. Pretty annoying if you ask me”

Shinobu was secretly dreading you now having wings. Flying around her estate crashing into things and knocking stuff over. She prayed to the gods none of that would happen. Sanemi continued to chat with Shinobu about things mostly about missions and how her poison was developed while you were falling asleep with a small smile on your face.

[montied]

i dont know if this is Autism or im just a fucking loser or wtvr but it always feels like everyone's having life experiences and im just. here. you know. sure a lot of those people's Life Experiences arent GOOD per se but to quote the donkeys in my year 1 nativity play: "nothing ever happens round here (ee-aw)"

umignore that last sentence

but people are like getting drunk making friends going to parties having work doing year 12 subjects and then the best i've got is i sometimes lie to my parents about where im going in order to look at trains. like. be so fucking for real

idek if i even want to be doing that stuff but i would like for ONE time in my life not to feel completely alienated from every single person my age. not even necessarily my age. just. let me relate to someone for once. please. im begging you

[hismercytomyjustice]

Have I mentioned lately how much I fucking hate having OCD???

Christ, it has made me feel straight up crazy lately.

I just want to yeet it into the sun.

I am just so fucking tired. God I hope this med change works. I am so sick of struggling to do the bare minimum in terms of functioning and just being a-fucking-live lately.

Feel like I’ve been on battery saving mode for like a year now and it doesn’t feel like it’s getting any better. I’m just really tired of putting in all this work only to feel like I’m making absolutely no progress.

I just want to be able to do normal everyday shit like keep up with the laundry and dishes, shower, not feel like deciding what to eat every meal is an agonizing fucking chore, not constantly run my mounting to do list over and over in my head until I want to fucking scream.

I’m just so fucking tired.

I just need to see some progress. To feel like I’m getting fucking somewhere. Instead of just doing an ant death spiral.

Fucking hell.

Lol can’t decide if I want to fucking scream or cry or just walk into the woods and start a new life as a goddamn rock or something.

Being a rock could be peaceful, I think. No obligations, no feeling like you’re constantly letting yourself and everyone else down, just sitting still and vibing. Just to get a break from the never-ending turmoil in my head. Even if it’s just for a few fucking minutes.

Idk. I’m just tired of fighting my OCD. I’m tired of making an effort to get better that feels like one step forward five steps back every single day. I don’t want to be fighting the good fight right now. I just want to sit for a minute and feel fucking miserable because I am fucking miserable and it sucks and I’m tired of it. I want to throw a tantrum and yell up to the sky that it isn’t fucking fair. That it’s not fair that I’ve been trying so fucking hard for the past year and don’t feel like I’m doing any better.

My therapist has straight up told me she wishes her other clients were as motivated as I was to get better. I’ve been seeing her weekly for almost a year now. I’ve gotten a psychiatrist to help me with my meds. I’m on meds for my ADHD. I have tried to outsource everyday tasks that I don’t have the bandwidth for right now. I’ve read up on OCD. I’ve met with an autism consultant. I’ve tried taking it easy. I’ve tried pushing myself.

I know it’s going to be okay eventually. I just really wish eventually was now. Or that I at least had a solid understanding of how much longer it’s going to take. Fuck, I really hope I’m not still feeling this way in the middle of the year or later while we spend months figuring out what meds will actually work.

Like, my spirit is willing. I just need something to quiet my OCD down enough so I can finally make some actual progress with it and with life in general. So I don’t feel like I’m constantly in survival mode. So I don’t feel incessantly exhausted. So completing even the most mundane five second task doesn’t feel like a fucking battle.

Ugh. Pretty sure I’m getting a migraine too, which would explain this piss poor mood I’m in. Idk why but sometimes my anxiety and/or depression and all ramp up hardcore in the early migraine phases.

Which, good news, means I’ll feel less fucking awful once it’s finally over. Which is kind of a relief. At least I won’t feel as emotionally at the bottom of the barrel, but the rest of it all still stands.

I’m pretty sure my therapist would say this is me exercising self-compassion even if it feels more like just throwing a tantrum or screaming into the void.

I just really wish I had the bandwidth right now to be there for myself and the everyone in my life. But like, I can’t even take care of myself right now. And I’m so sick of this stasis I feel trapped in. And I know if I’m sick of it, then my family and friends absolutely are too. Not in a mean way. Just in a “fuck, why can’t you get better” way.

Like everyone has been incredibly supportive throughout all of this. But at the same time I just feel like there’s only so many times I can say “I’m still struggling and am not really any better” and not sound like a broken fucking record.

Like, to the point I’m probably bottling it up to a degree because I’m tired of talking about it, so I’m sure they’re tired of listening to it. I feel like I’m just constantly trying to put on a cheerier and more energetic facade while feeling worse and worse and I’m not fooling anyone.

Uuuuugh. Hope my therapist is ready for all of this on Wednesday. *gestures broadly at their entire self*

My therapist is amazing, but she has a tendency to get teary eyed when I tell her how hard of a time I’m having and I don’t want it to sound like I don’t appreciate how much she’s helped me. Lol once again I’m viscerally reminded of why she suggested partial hospitalization a few months ago. Or what sounds like the equivalent of OCD/mental health boot camp lol.

I just feel like if I could get to a point where I can take the edge off, everything else will fall into place. I just need something to tip me that last little bit over the edge. And I really, really hope the right meds can do that for me. Just like, shrink the hurdles I have to clear even by just an inch. Just anything to make it all not feel so fucking insurmountable.

Ugh. Lol. I just need to take my migraine meds and lie down for a bit until the existential dread/crisis drops to a more manageable level.

[everythingwasnormalhere]

Craig headcanons, go

GO GAYS GO 🙌✨

Autistic

He's so autistic it's insane

He has shutdowns way too often :(

Even more often as he grows up

He's associated flipping people off with being able to leave class (to go to counselor's office) so he does it when he gets too overwhelmed at school

Because he's never been taught it's wrong, too, but that's secondary

When he has shutdowns he goes non-verbal too

Which has gotten everyone to assume he's simply not too talkative and let him be

Tweek eventually learnt what Craig's shutdowns were and he helped him out with them every time since then

For example getting Craig out of class when he looked like he was getting overwhelmed

Craig's so grateful for this<3

He doesn't get an autism diagnosis until 15 for some reason

Even though he didn't talk until he was 4- it's really weird it took him so long to get it actually

He had a really hard time coping with his diagnosis at first

So much internalized ableism

He probably locked himself in his room for a couple days after that

He told Tweek before he told anyone else

And Tweek helped him come to terms with it<3

Now he's fine with it :)

He hates how noise cancelling headphones feel, and instead wears earplugs to block noise

He doesn't ask teachers for permission because they can't see the earplugs with his hat anyways

His spin is totally space

He Loves space

He's infodumps to Tweek about it really often, Tweek loves it even though he doesn't understand even a third of it

He has those glow in the dark stars on his room's ceiling and a projector

His style never changed much through his life, comfortable clothes, nothing really specific

He's never stopped wearing that hat

Even though it's kinda broken now

Transmasc (he/him), only Tweek and his family know

He's always been so Boy even as a little kid that nobody's ever thought he could be anything else at all

Not exactly insecure about this but... Yes

Awful chest dysphoria

He's gay :)

His father thought that meant he was actually a girl but nope

Sorry for crushing your hopes Mr Tucker but your son is gay 😔✨

He's actually fine with it after not too long dw

Craig's family life is pretty great :)

Still he sleeps at Tweek's quite often

When he's not, Tweek's usually sleeping at his

Because otherwise they both struggle sleeping by themselves

They have such a healthy and cute relationship istg

They've been fake dating since they were 9, real dating since 10, and Craig got them promise rings at 13

They've obviously had troubles a couple times but they fixed them<3

Btw Craig got braces at 12 and wore them till 14

His teeth went from Awful to Actually Pretty Ok

But the braces made him so insecure while he wore them

His favorite subjects at school are the ones related to science

Math? He's awesome at it

Physics? He loves it

Chemistry? Fuck yeah

Biology? Pretty cool too

He hates literature with his whole soul though

"What was the artist feeling here?" "How would I know I wasn't there" (mood)

He's taller than Tweek until he turns 13

After that Craig mostly stops growing and instead Tweek gets so tall it's crazy

It felt so weird to them at the beginning 😭

And yes, Craig is half Peruvian on his mom's side :)

He and Kenny have conversations in Spanish sometimes

It's something they bond over idk

Aaand I think that's it :D he's a pretty chill dude tbh

[writteninlunarlight-years]

Heya! I sent in a matchup request before but I kinda rambled off in it (and I think I was on anon too-) so imma try again and be less ramble-y 😅

For Hazbin Hotel please!

-------------

Gender/Pronouns: She/They AFAB

Sexuality: Asexual, questioning-aromantic who would date men/masc

Age: 25

Appearance: 5'11 White Australian with pale as fuck skin, blue eyes with dark bags under them, half my head is shaved the other half long, currently dyed red hair but it changes once it washes out and I get bored of my natural blonde. Slightly chubby belly with average breasts I wanna remove completely 👍

MBTI: INFP-T

Mental Additives: I have autism, clinical depression, clinical anxiety, PTSD and lowkey a hypochondriac.

Personality: I'm told I'm open-minded and easy to get along with. I am also a completely open book who talks about 98% of things I have been through; including trauma and random factoids I have learnt.

I smile all the time, even when crying I find myself smiling sometimes. All I want is for the people I care about to be happy; and I don't always include myself in that list but I've been getting better at doing so!

I don't have a job but I am slowly looking. I think I've just gotten used to not having a job or going to school? It's boring and mind numbing, but the last job I had gave me anxiety attacks. Doesn't help I have no ambitions in life. Except for whatever hyperfixation I'm on!

Yet I also verbally yet playfully threaten violence on friends, but if need be I can't ever throw a punch. I diffuse situations with words and pacifist action (like leaving). But I will use my height and build to be threatening to protect a friend, despite knowing that I can't defend myself. I also break into tears if I feel like I said the wrong thing to a friend or family member. I'm not as scary as I sometimes look or act.

Imma list off words that remind me of my personality since idk how else to explain myself: Helpful, imaginative, leisurely, loyal, protective, self-critical, absentminded, touch-starved, irritable (prob the anxiety talking hopefully), unable to flirt or recognise flirting, quirky, anxioussss!, logical thinker.

Likes: True crime, reading/writing fanfic, my cat, my five birds, my two fish!, I want reptile pets, random facts, the cold (jumper weather), playing all types of video games, watching YouTube, thunderstorms, chocolate, soft drinks, my lil brother, my OC that I shape into whatever fixation I'm on!

Dislikes: Having writers block, drinking alcohol, smelling cigarettes/weed, being called lazy, being compared to others, the heat (remove my skin), drinking water, my lil brother (when he's in mean mode), racists, terfs, literally all dumbasses who think they're better than everyone, routines.

Hi, I love you! I hope you enjoy this! I want everyone to know that this bean is an amazing Mutual, and you should all check them out! Okay, okay, now to the show!

~~~~~ MATCHUPS ~~~~~

HAZBIN HOTEL

Alastor

~~~~~ HEADCANONS ~~~~~

Alastor really doesn't care for people in general. If you aren't one of the few he deems good enough, stay out of his way.

That's why he was thrown for a loop when you came along. Is someone so kind and genuine not being scared of him? Who do you think you are?

Alastor is very protective, and though it may take ages to realize he has feelings, he will firmly defend and protect you.

When you and Niffty are hanging out, he feels so proud and almost giddy, an emotion he only feels when murdering normally.

When you fought the Angels, he was in awe of you. Though you needed training from Vaggie, you were fierce and ready to do whatever you could to save your friends.

The first time he snapped at you, he felt horrible, and when you started crying, he was practically a dead man, times two. He spent weeks trying to apologize and make it up to you.

He isn't big on touching or affection, but he shows you he cares in his own way. He is always opening the door for you, cooking for you, and taking you to special events or places.

He supports all your hobbies and interests and even tries to help you find new things to enjoy. This way, when he is busy doing whatever he has to, you are entertained until he returns.

He loves just having lazy days with you in the Radio Tower. There, he can work on his master plans, and you can do whatever to your heart's content.

When he finally accepts he has stronger feelings for you than his regular crew of Mimzy, Rosie, and Niffty, he asks the girls what's happening to him.

They collectively help him confess to you, and when they find out that you two are a lot more similar than they thought, they are thrilled for you two now that you guys have found your person.

If you ever mention physical touch or intimacy with him, he will allow it, but only if you are comfortable with it. Do not force yourself to think it's the right thing to do unless you 100% want it to.

~~~~~ BLURB ~~~~~

You had been working with Niffty on a surprise for Alastor. He had been working hard to take down the Vees and especially hard to piss off Vox after a particularly vile comment he made about you. Niffty was out collecting the materials while you were researching how to make a cape, crown, and scepter. Once everything was rounded up and ready to go, you two got down to some serious work. Building your masterpiece for Alastor was moving along well, and you two couldn't wait to see his face.

Sneaking up to Alastors room, you set up the creation. While you were busy making it look perfect, Niffty distracted Alastor. However, Alastor knew that something was off as soon as you weren't downstairs ready to greet him. Making his way to your location, Niffty did her best to stall the tall man, but it was too late. Luckily, just before the door opened, you had set up the display. You remembered before the battle against the Angels that Niffty had dubbed Alastor 'King Roach'. Alastor was a king in your eyes, so you wanted to show him how you honestly thought of him.

There before Alastor stood a mannequin with a deep red cape adorned with blackthorns, a crown made of black cardboard and gold glitter glue, and lastly, a scepter made out of a large stick and one of Lucifer's rubber ducks that looked like Alastor. The man couldn't help but laugh at the creation in pure enjoyment. As he walked over to start putting on the new outfit, Niffty crawled up your shoulder and perched there waiting. Once King Alastor was officially crowned, he bent down and asked, "May I kiss you, my love?" You nodded gently, and all that was heard after the kiss was a 'blegh' sound from the tiny woman perched on your head.

~~~~~ EXTRA ~~~~~

(You had been sitting in the Radio Tower for hours and were ready for fun. However, Alastor was still trying to work.)

Y/N: Can we please do something else, Alastor?

Alastor: Dear, you are always more than welcome to do whatever you please. The most powerful demon lord is your partner.

Y/N: Noooo, Alastor, I wanna do something with you.

Alastor: Hmmmm, is that so, like what?

Y/N: uh uh uh....damn it! You can't put me on the spot like that, Alasor.

Alastor: Alright, alright, come on, let's go to Rosies for some tea and a break.

Y/N: Hell yeah! Field trip!

[paperstreetlocal]

Please expand on your Narrator neurodivergency hcs too if you're willing!! I love the ones you did for Tyler.

this isn't just neurodivergent shit its also like other issues sorry i cant stay on topic

autism wise i dont think he really gets overstimulated ? not the type to have a sensory meltdown or something i feel like he just kinda blocks out everything around him if its too loud or whaetever.disassociates a bit.Textures though……thats a whole other thing i think he ust wears simple somewhat tight clothes.half the reason cuz hes boring and has no fashion sense the other half is he just cant stand having anything excessive on him

ithink he stims in more subtle ways cuz he masks a lot Mostly just taps his foot or bites his nails or fidgets with pens/longer objects and flings them around on accident.i feel like he would touch his hair a lot and always keeps it short and tidy cause he cant stand it eing longer.scratches his forearms Generic stuff like that

his ocd gets really bad tho his brain runs literally 24/7 which pairs w his insomnia and the guy just thinks about bullshit constantly.intrusive thoughts galore I dont think hes a perfectionist by any means but he has to keep certain things tidy/closed or it drives him up the wall.specifically his work cubicle which is a mess but organized to nobody but himself n i think he gets extremely paranoid at times especially right around when he moves in w tyler cuz of the lack of lock on the front door and tht stuff

also when it comes to compulsions i think he bites (previously mentioned) and eats his nails and completely decimates them for several reasons and picks at his skin/scalp/teeth/eyes a lot and not in a hygienic way (do i even need to put this in here? nothing about their house or them is hygienic) and having to move into tylers house fucked up with his routine super badly hedidNotlike it in the slightest

e strikes me as the type to be anemic and always be freezing cold (unlike tyler whos a radiator) and overdresses while outside (him in his silly puffy jackets) and i think he sweats waaay ay too much bad eyesight had glasses at one point but switched to contacts and then got his apartment blown up now he gets eye infections cuz he doesnt have any neww ones

for the schizophrenia stuff i mean. somebody hcs him as schizophrenic somebody as a did system .. . personally im either not sure or he has both but i mostly go w the notion that the whole runtime of fight club was the narrator having a schizophrenic episode and i do think tyler may have appeared earlier on in his life in a different form and he just forgot or wasn't aware it was him.i dont think chuck did his best repping either of the disorders so whatever goes honestly lol (my main issue is you can have alters and be schizophrenic but having an alter AS a hallucination is incredibly odd to me? is that even a thing /genq) neeway dont have any special hcs just whatever happens in the book/movie u know abt that already

also extra stuff for tyler i forgot b4 i think he likes sniffing him.his mind cannot comprehend Not Smelling Like Fucking Shit 24/7 (narrator is somewhat cleaner and thus smells ok sometimes. mostly like sweat though) CONTRARY to that id card (ifykyk) i think his handwriting is AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his ass does NOT write in perfect cursive ik his shit is barely legible Fuck You and he cannot spell longer words like Wednesday what do you think this is ? Spelling bee ?