#from the goddamn air
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All those things they tell you to prevent hypothermia, like "cotton kills?" That's because wet cotton LOWERS YOUR BODY TEMPERATURE FASTER and like... shovels your body heat away into the open air as the water evaporates.
Do some searching around about actual safety tips, but there's a reason you'll see dudes taking breaks from basketball in my neck of the Southern woods with just like... sopping wet, white hand towels draped over their heads and necks.
Cotton, linen, and other natural fibers in light colors and loose cuts are your friends if you gotta go out and about. MAKE SURE YOU ARE STILL GETTING SUN PROTECTION, even through clothing. Them lighter fabrics might not do jack shit for actual SPF, wear fuckin sunscreen, homies.
Go light on your lotions and oils if it's humid. The excess moisture in the air is gonna make that stuff stick to you and weigh you down like you wouldn't believe. You will feel greasy just from stepping outside.
Piling on baby powder will not help you. Likely you will end up covered in paste as you continue to reapply throughout the day. Stick with me on this one, and please really do believe me here: DERMATOLOGISTS ARE NOW SAYING THAT ALUMINUM ANTIPERSPIRANTS ARE NOT GOING TO KILL YOU.
Take a cool shower at night. Dry yourself off. PUT ANTIPERSPIRANT ON YOUR BODY. Not just your pits, friends. You can put it on your tits, your thighs, the backs of your knees, the insides of your elbows, it doesn't fucking matter. IT IS OKAY THIS SUMMER.
When you put it on clean, dry skin, AT NIGHT, it has a chance to actually soak in and do its job, which is block sweat. And then throughout the day, IT DISSOLVES AWAY, and you can wash it off and purge it from your body or what the fuck ever. Point being, when you apply it properly, it is temporary, and WAY more effective.
This T-boy is no longer rancid in the goddamn Southern summertime because of this one single change, okay? IT FUCKIN WORKS.
Also, if you can let your car doors hang open for a few minutes before you get in there and turn on the AC, it helps. The sun pouring in through that glass turns that vehicle into a greenhouse oven; let it normalize closer to the outdoor temp before you overtax the AC. Make sure you're using the "cabin interior/recycled air" setting on it, don't try to cool the air that's coming in from outside and across the engine. I've been told many a time that the AC actually dehumidifies more than the heater, which is why running the defrost with AC on gets the job done faster; so using the interior air with the cycle might actually keep the car less humid, too.
And if you've got watermelon available, put chunks of it in your water. All of your water, still or sparkling, any temperature you need. Trust me. You will thank me.
Y'all stay safe out there.
For all of the northerners that stood up for Texas during our freeze and said, "Don't make fun of them, they've never dealt with this before. Their infrastructure isn't made for snow and freezing."
This one is for you.
Where I live 108Ā°F with 80% humidity with no wind is normal.
Pacific North West is dealing historic best waves 35-40Ā°C or 95-105Ā°F.
First of all. Don't make fun of them for bitching about the heat. Just like Texas isn't built for a freeze and our pipes burst, Pacific North West isn't built for heat and a lot of their homes don't have AC.
If you live somewhere with a high humidity like 80+ HUMIDITY IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. The "humidity makes it feel cooler" is a lie once it gets beyond a point.
If you live somewhere with a lower humidity, misters are nice to cool off outside.
Once you get over 90Ā°F (32Ā°C) a fan will not help you. It's just pushing around hot air. (I mean if you can't afford a small AC unit because they're expensive as hell, by all means a fan is better than nothing).
If you have pets, those portable AC units aren't safe. If your pets destroy the outtake thing, it'll leak CO2. Window units are safer.
Window AC units will let mosquitoes or other small bugs in. Sucks, but that's life.
Now is not the time to me modest. If you have to cover for religious reasons, by all means. If you don't, I've seen people wear short shorts and a swim top. It's not trashy if it keeps you from getting heat stroke.
If you do have to cover up for religious reasons, look for elephant pants or something similar. They're made with a breathable material.
Shade is better than no shade, but that shit it just diet sun after some point. Don't think shade will save you from heat stroke.
I know the "drink your water" is a fun meme now, but if you're sweating excessively you need electrolytes. Drink Gatorade, Powerade, or Pedialite PLEASE. I don't care if you're fucking sitting in one spot all day. That shit WILL save you from heat stroke.
Most importantly. RESEARCH THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HEAT STROKE AND HEAT EXHAUSTION PLEASE!
If you're diabetic and can't drink Gatorade, mix water, fruit juice, and either lite salt or pink salt
If you can afford it, cover windows with thick curtains to insulate the house
If you have tile floors, lay on them with skin to tile contact. If you don't, laying your head on cool counters works too.
If the temperature where you're at is hotter than your body temperature, don't wear heat wicking clothing. Moisture wicking is safe though.
Check your medication labels. Many make you more susceptible to sun and heat
-Room temperature water will get into your body faster. This is something I learned doing marching band in high summer in Georgia, and it saved all of our asses. Sip it, don't gulp it, especially if you're getting into the red; same goes for whatever fluid you're drinking. And just in general drink during the day.
-If you are moving from an air conditioned space to an un-air conditioned space, if at all possible try to make the shift gradual. When my dad and I were working outside and in un-ac houses a few years ago, he'd turn the air down to low in the truck about ten-fifteen minutes before we got where we were going. This way your body doesn't go from low low temps to high temps. S'bad for you.
-If you can, keep your lights off during the day. Light bulbs may not generate a lot of heat, but the difference is noticeable when it gets hot enough. I literally only turn my bedroom light on in the evening when it gets too dark.
Don't be afraid to just like... pour water on yourself if you need to. The evaporation will cool you off.
Put your hand to the cement for 15 seconds. If you can't handle the heat, it'll burn your dog's paws. Don't let them walk on it.
Dogs with flat faces are more prone to heat stroke. Don't leave them out unsupervised.
Frozen fruit is delicious in water.
Wet/Cold hat/handkerchief on your head/neck will help you stay cool.
Pickle juice is great for electrolytes! You can even make pickle juice Popsicles!
Heat exhaustion is more, "drink water and get you cooled off." Heat stroke is more "Oh my god call 911."
Image Description provided by @loveize
[Image description: an infographic showing the difference between heat exhaustion and heat stroke. The graphic is labeled "Heat Dangers: First Warning." Signs of heat exhaustion: faint or dizzy, excessive sweating, cool, pale, clammy skin, rapid, weak pulse, muscle cramps. If you think you or someone else may be experiencing heat exhaustion, get to a cool, air-conditioned place, drink water if conscious, and take a cool shower or use cold compress. Signs of heat stroke: throbbing headache, no sweating, red, hot, dry skin, rapid, strong pulse, may lose consciousness. If you think you or someone else may be experiencing heat stroke, call 911. End description]
Be safe.
-fae
#summer heat#humidity#summer survival tips#living in the south#y'all stay safe#solidarity homies#people don't understand humidity#you walk out your door and feel like#hit with a hand stitched quilt#that's been soaked in fresh tomato bisque#it is a physical sensation#from the goddamn air#i am not exaggerating#and stepping out of that and into arctic ac interiors in atlanta summertime#literally used to give me migraines#it is no fucking joke
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Style practice no.1 PokƩmon
#elden ring#elden ring sote#pokemon#Varre#white mask varre#elden ring varre#ansbach#sir ansbach#elden ring ansbach#pureblood knight ansbach#style practice#first one up is pokemon#crazy how fast a drawing goes by when youāre not doing a 6 page comic#this was a goddamn breath of fresh air from my last pic#last pokemon stuff I drew was PLA and Ingo emmet shenanigans#Jesus Iāve come a long way holy hell#the style kinda fit like a glove somehow#at least for the faces#the bodyās are kinda mid as hell
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so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi prime defenders spoilers#jrwi pd spoilers#jrwi pd#william wisp#vyncent sol#THIS ONE IS FUUUUCKIN OOOOOLLDD RAAAHHHHH i made it like. a year ago. but didnt finish it for so so long bc i just wasnt happy w it.#BUT LIKE A CENTURY EGG the decades of being encased in salt n lime n ash have done WELL to bring out the flavores of this piece#i sorta recently cleaned it up and posted it onto twitty. didnt tag it bc it was SO OLD AND SCUFFED(i see so many MISTAKES NOW)#that i didnt want to expose it to the open air just like that#if i show smth to my small circles then it shall only be understood in those small circles.#open air and open interpretation from minds i cannot predict are NOT something i enjoy the thought of. usually. i am brave tho#BUT EVERYONE ON TWITTY WAS SO NICEEE i was like damn... i guess it IS good enough to be enjoyed by the masses...#lets work on being nicer to our art together. THAT BEING SAID. i really love my colors here HELL YEAHHHH#FIRST TIME IN A WHILE COLORIN THESE BOYS.... i dont use proper color enough..I ALSO RLY LIKE MY BACKGROUNDS HERE#i LOVE when the bg is hyperrealistic (i frankestiened stock photos) and when the subjects are all flat colored n cartoony#recently rewatched Making Fiends and they do that similar thing!! soft shading! lotsa details! almost painted? ill paint one day#ive already rambled so much abt the art im runnin out of ROOm to ramble about WWWIILLIAM GODDAMN WWIIIISP. its been a minute since i saw-#-this episode..but i DO remember the funny smoke trick that will did to his funny brother. EVERYTIME U GIVE AN ORDER. THAT BRINGS HARM-#-INDIRECTLY OR NOT. YOU WILL HEAR THOSE SCREAMS. YOU WILL FEEL THAT PAIN. OHHH WHAT A COOL PUNISHMENT THAT IS#its still an olive branch in a sense! a final chance for big bro bell to show that hes NOT an irrideemable piece o shit. and if not#well. to the wolves of psychosis with him!!! i really think william did the best he could here. if i was in his shoes i have no doubt i-#-woulda done the same. IM ALSO GLAD THAT VYN DECIDED TO STICK AROUND N SUPPORT HIM! thas character development baybe!!#i loooove prime defenders.. its been so long since i watched any eps of it but i KNOW it still has such a grip on my heart..GOTTA rewatch i
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Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake āĀ
Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim DrakeĀ ā
The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an āefficientā sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isnāt even aware that sheās competing with a whole ass child š heās sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes āfucking amateur I could do betterā)Ā
Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim āTen hours of uninterrupted sleep?? Thatās so inefficient not to mention fucking stupidā Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks itās fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours š he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping āfor no reason when he could be doing something productiveāĀ
And he still does this as a bat but itās just easier to tell if he didnāt take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and heās just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc timās saying shit like āThis guys a fucking moron, I couldāve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesnāt he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?ā and āyouāre like all hysterical and for what š¤Ø āyou blew up 83% of Bristol waahā stfu and fucking rebuild it?? Itās only rich mfs that live there, itās just a matter of them opening their fucking walletsā once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with āwell if youāre gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeahāĀ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him
Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and heāll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc āIāve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on manā and Timās confused bc āI slept next to you this morning wdym??ā and thatās how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open
But one of the worst things about Timās ātime efficient sleep scheduleā nonsense is that it fucking works heās one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or heās been replaced but heās just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason
#Tim drake being unhinged even in his sleep and taking sleepwalking to the next level by doing reports/solving cases in his sleep#A bat hearing incoherent mumbling but no oneās nearby: š heās in the walls šØ heās in the goddamn walls#No one knows how or why heās in that particular spot in the wall bc thereās isnāt a secret entrance/crawl space there#Tim also has a wall of energy drinks Bruce regularly tries to lecture him aboot#And Timās like āyour eldest son has snorted sugar MULTIPLE timesā#then he gestures at Jason āand that one looks like if he didnāt have drug related childhood trauma heād try to snort protein powderā#bruce: tim we have to talk about your behavior#Tim: like three of your kids have basked in the blood of their enemies š¤Ø I am NOT your biggest issue rn#Dick Grayson being the main reason thereās an āacceptable levels of forceā slide with 600+ slides & most are examples of what not to do#Stephanie š¤š¾ Damian: being reason Bruce is adding more slides to a PowerPoint from 2 decades ago#Tim drakes idea of straight forward is how everyone else imagines jumping through hoops and fucking struggling to avoid pissing off the fae#Like wdym simple?? This plan has 97 parts and heās like no thatās just the first page of plan 1 if itās sunny#Rogues: I canāt catch him off guard wtf do none of these mfs sleep??#Tim ānever let em know your next moveā Drake whoās been sleep for the past 45 minutes: šµāšµ#Yj has cuddle piles in the air vents#Everyone with enhanced senses is losing bc āthere are children in the wallsā#Coffee addict babs calls tim weak when he tells her he cut coffee bc it was fucking with him before continuing to chug hot coffee#Oracle: this is the worst Tuesday ever š I need more coffee before I deal with an Arkham breakout#Nightwing: but itās sunday??#Spoiler: Maybe itās time we switch to decaf love also just out of curiosity when was the last time you slept??#Oracle: you want the fucking location or not?#Dick: I take it back mb#Spoiler: a thousand apologies to our gracious overlord#Oracle: thatās what I thought#Bruce: youāre benched oracle#Oracle: take that bench and shove it up your ass batman#Steph 100% calls everyone mushy pet names and has since Bruce lectured her about professionalism when she was dating tim#Imagine getting your ass kicked by a sleepingwalking middle schooler#Or worse: imagine having to explain to your insurance company that a sleepwalking child blew up your home#tim drake is a menace
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guys i can't even. describe the way i'm feeling right now. but @ifapromise made art of the clegan fic i wrote for her and i'm incredibly thankful and blessed and deranged (see below the cut)
read the fic in the gold room!!!
#*muffled screaming audible from australia to canada*#mota#masters of the air#fanart#clegan#buck x bucky#hbo war#john egan#bucky egan#gale cleven#buck cleven#LIKE??????? WHAT DO I EVEN DO NOW???????? GO BACK TO MY GODDAMN UNI WORK???????????#nice things <3#liz.txt#like seriously what do i. do.#tegan tag
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Nonkul and Bright's experience in queer media prior to I Feel You Linger In The Air
So... I've fallen down the huge rabbit hole that is I Feel You Linger In The Air (even though I was already down bad earlier this year when I finished the novels) since the airing of the series. I've tried my best to consume everything translated IFYLITA-related content and now I'm here to summarize a few points I love about the (immaculate) casting of Nonkul and Bright.
For Nonkul
Prior to IFYLITA, Nonkul has had a few BL-adjacent projects:
2014 indie gay film "Love's Coming", where he plays a friend of the gay protagonist.
2016 sitcom series "Bang Rak Soi 9/1", where he plays a student with a crush on his straight best friend (main character played by Tongtong, who you may have known from To Sir With Love or Khun Chai)
2019 chinese bromance "Dive", where he plays the 2nd main lead who develops "strong friendship" with the protagonist as swimming teammates
But IFYLITA marks Nonkul's first time playing in a BL series where he is the protagonist.
Back in 2021, Nonkul postedĀ this Q&A video on Facebook, where he answered the question "If you have a chance, would you consider playing in a BL series? If accepted, who do you to co-act with?". To which Nonkul went on a full long discussion on how he doesn't view BL as a genre and talks about what kind of role he would want to play (full clip below).
youtube
Transcript:
If that series is an interesting storyline for me, I am always open to any kind of genre. I never categorized BL series as an BL series, I just think of it as a series with another plot as part of my work. It is a normal series that can have any of the plots which I will categorize as Romantic Comedy, Drama or whatever. Thus, when I choose the BL series I want to work with, the love preference of the character does not affect my decision. If the plot of the series is interesting, of course I'm gonna do it for sure. Every work that I chose, I personally think it at least enjoyable for me. Of course, if in the future, there are BL series with plots that I find interesting, that I enjoyed the script. "Like, wow, that's my type!", I will definitely selected it to be my future project. A good written series is a good series. This is what I believe as an actor.Ā - Nonkul
For BL Series, I think I can work with everyone. I don't think I have anyone in particular. One thing! I desire the character of that person/actor? to be close to the character in the series. At that point I will be satisfied. Sometimes, I as an actor have a chance to work with people who didn't have a lot of acting experience. I will still discover something new from him as well. And there is a BL novel which I really like! [Nonkul explains the plot of his favorite BL Novel 'Peremo'] I would prefer to choose the "heroine" role because it will be a new experience for me as an actor because it will be a new experience for me as an actor. Because basically I only play as a hero role for the main character or support character in my work, but a "heroine" role in a BL series is the only chance for me to play a character more feminine. So it is a new experience for me. [Nonkul continues raving about 'Peremo']. But if you think that you can make [an adaptation of Peremo], please do not forget me, Nonkul! Pleaseeeeeeee, I will do my best, I promise!!! However, I'm not only fixated on this novel. I'm also open for many more BL series if there is an interesting plot.Ā - Nonkul
Interestingly the 3 checklists Nonkul mentioned his dream BL novel/character 'Peremo' had was 1. playing the 'heroine' role; 2. it has a LOT of action; 3. it is also sci-fi fantasy genre. And then in 2022, Nonkul booked 2 action dramas and IFYLITA which checked off criteria 1 and 3 of his wishlist (he mentioned it in this interview).
In 2022, at the beginning of IFYLITA announcement event,Ā Nonkul mentioned that one of reasonsĀ that he accepted to play Jom in IFYLITA is that the story didnāt just put love scenes in just for fan services. Previously he had rejected some series because of that.
Nonkul read the novel prior to the acceptance of the role and you can tell he put a lot of care into bringing Jom to life (Nonkul immediately tweeting his apology after the pilot trailer is out about him accidentally using right hand to sketch (because Jom is left-handed), discussing various novel details with fans of the book at event, discussing how to punch Ohm like Jom would instead of punching him regularly as he would in other series, even giving book-film comparison commentaries in the BTS of the episodes)
Nonkul's physical and facial features are also so similar to Jom in the novel, especially his Chinese heritage is taken into account by the casting directors (Jom is also Thai of Chinese heritage iirc). Honestly kudos to P'Tee and co for snatching Nonkul.
For Bright
Prior to IFYLITA, Bright has played a supporting male gay character in the CH3 Lakorn 'Rivalry' and starred in PP Krit's MV 'It's Okay Not To Be Alright'.
But IFYLITA still marks Bright's first ever male lead role (ngl I was quite shocked when I found out about this because like the man is SIGNED to CH3, what are they doing?) AND his first official "BL" series.
Bright also accept the role of Khun YaiĀ after he went to buy the novel and read them.
Before filming,Ā Bright practiced a lot to portrayed Khun Yai as close to the novel as possibleĀ (the way Khun Yai walks with hands behind his back, his posture, him speaking in the different local dialect...)
Here are some translated interview questions Nonkul and Bright did before filming IFYLITA for bangkokbiznews that I found really interesting and want to share (original Thai article) (translated by twitter user lingerair/eugust)
Question: How is your individual characters? How are they similar or different from you?Ā (1)
Nonkul: Jom and I are very different. Jom has soft and sensitive part. He cried so many times, and often gets upset with things that if it's me, I wouldn't be upset like him but his tears is already flowing. Bright: Khun Yai is quite similar with me. He's calm and wise. It's easy to be Khun Yai when I read the script. I try to put myself as Khun Yai. I'm Khun Yai and Khun Yai is me. I always think like this to be able to moderately act as Khun Yai.
Question: BL series has become a powerful "soft power". What do you about this?Ā (2)
Nonkul: To be honest, whatever entertainment media it is, I view all of them as soft power but can't deny that during this period foreigners are especially interested in Thai Y series. I think it's a good thing. In the end, no matter what kind of content they are interested, it's a pleasant thing. Bright: Bright agrees (to that) very much. There are so many BL series with many fans both in and outside of the country, thus I think that it's good quality soft power in presenting a lot of things. Such as "I Feel You Linger In The Air" has a lot of Thai culture incorporated it in. Nonkul: Since it's period (series), it won't look like we're forcing Thai culture into (the series). We want foreigners to learn about how was it during the era and how it affects the present.
Question: This novel has a lot of fans waiting, do you feel pressured in taking a role in this?Ā (3)
Nonkul: There's a little bit of pressure but personally, when I've worked till this point, I'm kinda used to this. I can say that I already have some expectations (for myself) and receive some pressures as a motivation in working but I'm not that stressed by it. Bright: Similar to Non, I'm a little bit pressured but we will both do our best, everyone will do their best. Fans has expectations because they want to watch the adaptation. We'll do it in our way and we hope everyone'll likes it.
As a huge fan of the novel, I just love how much love Nonkul and Bright have for the original novel and the amount "homework", care and dedication they have to crafting their characters to be as close as possible. I really hope everyone who have reservation or hesitance watching I Feel You Linger In The Air because you didn't vibe with previous Dee Hup Houseās productions, should still give IFYLITA a chance (or at least try watching Episode 6 & 7) because it is seriously unlike any previous DHHās productions (in all aspects: plot, direction, pacing, cinematography, music, lighting, color-grading, overall productionā¦)
For my post on Bright and Nonkul's preparation for IFYLITA
#i feel you linger in the air#ifylita#bright rapheephong#nonkul chanon#more ifylita info-dumping#cross posting from my reddit#most info y'all probably already knew but i just wanted to share that clip of nonkul raving about that one action bl novel he read#i just know nonkul would love to star in a high budget action bl series like kinnporsche#yai x jom#im promoting this series like crazy but im telling... im telling you... don't sleep on this series PLEASE#my writing#claire opens her goddamn mouth
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the thing about a three way crossover is that the mml one was already so jam-packed with characters that plot points got cut and it was a hodgepodge of an episode and it was ending a story arc and also trying to squeeze in characters from pnf at the same time. imagine adding a third show full of characters to it could you even imagine the chaos
#like if you were there or know the Lore of the crossover you know what an absolute shitshow it was#like tbh itās a miracle it even aired with what went on iām not even surprised the hiatus lasted as long as it did#but yea if they do decide to put one in either pnf5/6 or hng2 they better learn their goddamn lesson from last time lmao#also tbf it wasnāt all their fault like iām sure the execs didnāt help at all#like if theyād let it be a 3 part episode instead of one 40 minute one it would have actually allowed for everything theyād written#originally#like the evil ferb plot#or making melissa a pistachion#like there has to be an irl timeline where they actually got to explore that#itās probably the same timeline that got mml s3 but alas we arenāt there#anyways. these tags are so long shoutout if u read them all#phineas and ferb#milo murphy's law#hamster and gretel#pnf revival#crossover
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Hihihi!!!
I am absolutely floored by these prompts, seriously. So to start it off, I humbly request:
āthis isnāt up for discussion. i know youāre used to looking out for yourself, but i need you to understand that you donāt have to live like that anymore. iām here. for as long as iām around, iām going to come between you and anything that wants to hurt you.ā
For Kennedy and Bucky if you feel so inclined. They are one of my fav couples (although it is so close let me tell you), but obviously only write if it speaks to you!
Canāt wait to see these pieces, Shannon!
-āļø
HI SUNSHINE ANON!!!! (enthusiastically waves) thank you so much for sending this in (plus your others, thank you so so much)! i got so excited seeing this kennedy x bucky request as i was already half-way through writing and realized how well things lined up when i got this request and decided to use it! thank you for the kennedy x bucky love truly!! they are seriously so fun to write and craft and getting to look at a more intimate, raw and emotional side of them here (with that lovely dose of angst and whump and comfort) was exactly what we needed with them! so i humbly present kennedy x bucky in the Stalag :) thank you so so much again! TRULY!! <33333
she'd fight a war herself
(a/n): HELLO FRIENDS!!!! if you recognize any of the few lines here and there from things i've posted related to kennedy and bucky here in the past few days, this is the piece! and the request really lined up with what i was going for here, so i combined the original kennedy x bucky piece i was working on with this one! and here we are! and im sobbing! okay! please enjoy! :)
"Knock, knock."
Kennedy's bruised knuckles tapped against the wooden door to the small library in their bunkhouse, where Bucky Egan was currently sat with one of those older wooden chairs pulled up against the window, staring out into the hazy afternoon. His large overcoat was wrapped around his body, hands shoved deep into the pockets, his hair a little more unruly than normal, and a sour look on his face.
Kennedy had been looking for him for at least an hour since she had left the group which had shifted outside - Annie and Buck's idea of 'getting some sunshine' into the group now that it was finally out.
Gray skies and storm clouds had been their friend for the past few weeks, with muddy pathways and cold winds. Now, with the sun out and a warm breeze in the air, there also seemed to be hope floating about.
Bucky, however, was here, sat inside, closed off, and completely alone. Bucky's eyes slowly shifted from the dusted window, his look both stern and far-off all at once, and his shoulders stood tall. She watched his eyes trail to her hand there on the door - the bruises, the ones she had earned herself, along with the one underneath her eye - and offered nothing but a small smile.
Ever since the kiss, in this very room, Bucky Egan had suddenly become everything.
At breakfast or dinner, where she tried to get herself by his side, or out when they managed to get outside, she'd find a way for just the two of them, to talk, to work through whatever the other was feeling, to take hold of the other's hand. Sometimes, when the nights were long and cold, she'd find herself in his bunk, soft kisses being shared back and forth between the two, his warm hands roaming her body underneath her overcoat and button-up and blanket, keeping her both sane and alive all at once. Things were different. And she tried to hold onto every bit of that in every way. The bruises though were different now. And Bucky had been a pistol about them ever since.
"Whatcha doing in here all alone?" Kennedy said, some of the voices outside coming through the walls, the sunshine coming in through the hazy window, half-reflecting off of Bucky's face in a way that made his skin glow in a way it hadn't in a whole, "I was looking for you." At those words, the corner of Bucky's lips curled upwards a bit. She always seemed to get him to grin.
"Just doing some thinking." Bucky said slowly, a nod to follow, "In my thinking spot." Kennedy chuckled and stepped into the room more, shoving her hands in the pockets of her poor, tattered A2.
"In your thinking spot, huh?" Kennedy said, tilting her head to the side, a small smile on her face, "What's bouncing around in your brain?"
Bucky watched her deeply for a moment, it felt like he was looking at her as intently as he could, as if memorizing her face, her dimples, her freckles, her hair the way it was (and it wasn't pretty). He seemed distracted, off-guard, on the low. Her smile fell and instead, worry began to consume her. Bucky was usually far from the person sitting in front of her now. Her heart pounded a bit.
Moving closer, Bucky looked up at her as she came to stand beside him - she offered an attempt at another smile - before reaching forward and running her fingers over those few loose, wild curls of hair against his forehead.
"What's going on?" she asked quietly, a bit more urgency to her voice, retracting her hand, the touch having been, evidently, both gentle and welcome, "You're never this quiet, Bucky, you're worrying me."
"C'mere." Bucky said, voice low and gruff as he reached out his hands and spread his knees a bit. Kennedy watched him for a moment, the desperation in his eyes, making her heart hurt a bit, as she stepped forward and settled between his lap and leg, wrapping her arm around the back of his neck and reaching up her other hand to cup his cheek.
Softly, she guided his face to her own and watched his eyes again, her thumb brushing gently on his stubbled skin. His hand found her waist, thumb brushing back and forth against her jacket as his other hand came to her knee, the warmth of his hand tingling her skin underneath her pants. It felt so natural to be like this, so close and intimate. If it weren't for the war and their circumstances, she would've said it felt like home.
But with Bucky, she was home.
No matter where they were.
"What's going on?" she asked quietly again, her voice soft as he continued to watch her, gripping her like his life depended on it.
Slowly, her leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips - soft, sweet and slightly desperate, but longing enough that her stomach flipped - she was still getting used to this between them. After everything they said to each other, that moment they shared. Pulling back, he watched her again. She offered a small smile.
"We can't just stay here forever." he said quietly, "This place. Now with the SS showing up." Bucky continued to hold her gaze, the look in his eyes both stern and persistent. He looked crazed deep-down inside. "After hearing what the British didā¦..those holes. We gotta find a way to do something. To get out. Or even just tryā¦.." Bucky whispered, his voice dropping, "There's so much more than this place, Kenny. I know that." Kennedy watched him, cheeks warmed from his touch and his presence and him. She slowly nodded.
"I know." she said softly back, "And we will. But for now, it has to be kept on the low. Nothing crazy. You don't want yourself hurt or killed."
"Just like they did to you?" Bucky said back to her, reaching up to take her hand on his face and gently hold it out beside him, fingers tracing the delicate, broken skin on her knuckles before looking back at her, "I don't want them touching you again." Her insides twisted warmly at his words, that protective bite to his voice that made her warm all over.
"I know, baby," she whispered quietly, leaning forward to press a kiss to his forehead, a sigh escaping his lips as he leaned his head back against the wall behind the chair, "we'll get through this. You know that." Bucky watched her, the corner of his mouth lifting upwards.
"How many more times do we have to say that before it's true?" he asked her quietly, his words almost hollow, like he was fighting to believe it, "I wish I was more like you with that." Kennedy watched him with a small smile and shrugged.
"Ask Annie Bradshaw and maybe she'd know. She's got quite the effect on a person." Kennedy said and Bucky managed to smile a bit at that.
"You've got quite the effect on me." he said, as she felt her cheeks warm at his words - something she was always trying to fight away - since when did she blush? Bucky continued to watch her and she let him; watching as his eyes explored her face, his hand coming up a few times to wipe back the ginger hair falling from the poorly done braids behind her head. His eyes rested a few times on her own eyes, before they'd fall to her lips or freckled cheeks and then back to her eyes. It seemed to calm him. Keeping him steady. She wanted that for him.
"I've never wanted to get out of a place more," Bucky whispered quietly, a catch almost in his voice, "you know that?" The thoughts just seemed to cycle and he seemed to spiral.
"I know." Kennedy whispered, reaching up to drag her fingers gently through his hair, his grip tightening on her waist, "We all do." Bucky watched her and leaned closer.
"Do you want kids?" he asked her, catching her the slightest bit off guard there - suddenly she felt every part of him touching her, his eyes on her face and she felt her body warm. Watching him for a moment, she nodded.
"Yeah," she said, "always have." Bucky suddenly seemed to grin at her, genuinely grin and she watched as he reached up and ran his fingers over the end of her braid.
"Bet they'd have your hair color. Bright red hair." Bucky said with a small chuckle, "Our kids." Kennedy watched her, her heart hammering in her chest, her eyes fighting to well with tears.
The thought of being a mother had always been a dream of hers - she had a girl in middle school tell her before that she didn't seem like someone who could be a mom. And Kennedy carried that quote with her everywhere she went. Even when she was dating boys from the country club and they'd tell her about the fortunes and promise rings of her future and the chances of what their kids would inherit. Even when she was home, broken-hearted over that loser from her father's business who had told her 'she was too much'. Kennedy always wanted to be a mother, always.
It was something inherent to her very being, to her entire make-up as a woman. To her.
"Your eyes." Kennedy said, testing the waters right back, her voice sounding strained and choked as she spoke, silently hoping Bucky didn't realize too much, "Definitely your eyes." Bucky met her gaze and smiled at her.
"Nah, nah," he said, "your eyes, my ears. Probably." At that, Kennedy let out a snort of laughter and sniffled a bit, looking towards him again.
"I don't want this to sound dumb, but I promised I'd never try to hide things from youā¦but, you want to have kids? With me?" she asked him quietly, watching as worry and concern built up in his eyes, straightening his shoulders a bit as he did so. She tried a joke. "But I'm a Red Sox fan." Bucky watched her, jaw set, eyes on her.
"I do." he said quietly, entirely serious, "I hope you know this-" gesturing between them, "isn't just nothing to me. You know that. I'm serious about you, Kenny. Why do you think I want to get out so bad? I sit here, day after day, knowing what we could have outside of this shit hole. I'm real serious about this. About us." Bucky continued to watch her. "You know that." Kennedy melted against him a bit, leaning closer, cupping his cheek as she tilted her head to match his.
"I know, I justā¦." she started, "I didn't know if I'd ever get the chance to be a mother in a world like this soā¦.hearing you say that. It just, ya know, made me want it more. With you." Kennedy's big eyes trailed up to Bucky's and she watched him watch her back.
"Why'd you say it that way, Kenny?" Kennedy stared at him, those words from middle school ringing in her head. Over and over. Like a bell toll in the church, an echo off a never-ending cave wall.
"Someone, who clearly was very upset with their life, once told me I wouldn't make a good mother." Kennedy whispered quietly, "And I took it to heart and believed it. For a period of time. For a while." Bucky's eyes grew dark and his grip tightened on her.
"You still believe that shit?" Bucky asked her, voice louder than he seemed to want it to be.
"No." Kennedy said, "I used to let it get to me, butā¦.not anymore. Not after being with this group. With you." Bucky watched her, his gaze softening a bit more as he watched her grin.
"Good." he said quietly, a silence falling between them as they watched each other, these small, shy smiles on their lips in a way Kennedy had never seen Bucky even be before. It was honestly enough to make her giddy inside.
"I just know our kids would be Red Sox fans." she whispered and she watched a wild grin appear on his face as he shook his head.
"No! Nah, nah, you've gone too far there," Bucky said, his face starting to glow, "the second they're able to walk, I'm taking them to a game, Yankees, alright? They're getting the playing cards, all that happy horseshit, okay?" Kennedy let out a laugh as Bucky held her closer.
"But what happens if they choose Red Sox, huh, what would you do?" she said, holding her chin high as Bucky smirked and shook his head.
"Wouldn't you like to know." he said softly back and Kennedy nodded with a grin, "Either way, you'd be the best mom those kiddos would ever have, I know that." Just hearing words like that, some deep and genuine and truthful from someone like Bucky made her heart race and her emotion take hold.
"I don't usually go soft on Red Sox fans anyway, but you might've gotten me, Kenny." Bucky whispered softly, catching her gaze as she stared at him. She brushed her thumb across his cheek again and leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips.
With how close they were, she couldn't help but feel him deepen the kiss there, this cracked-open rush of feelings enough for her to feel starved for him as his tongue swiped her bottom lip and a sigh left her lips.
She pulled herself as close as possible to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, her hands exploring his hair as she tilted her head to get more of him to her.
Breaking apart, slightly gasping for breaths of air, his lips danced across her jawline, dotting along her neck before he was there, sucking gently on a spot near her collarbone. It made her giddy, sitting here, despite the situation, with a man, tall, brooding, and a little goofy, kissing her neck and her of all people, like it was life itself.
It made her a little crazy inside - that he wanted her? He wanted a future, a life, kidsā¦with her? Maybe it made her a little crazy, but it was true. Kennedy let out a giggle leave her lips and Bucky pulled back, eyes soft as he looked to her and grinned lazily.
"What are you laughing about?" he asked her, his voice making her insides twist again.
"Us." she whispered back, "You and me." Bucky watched her with a smirk.
"What about us?"
"Our futures." she said quietly, "God, imagine what our lives could be like."
"You see why I'm pushing the get-the-fuck out narrative now, right?" he said and Kennedy cackled at his words and nodded. Bucky watched her fondly and grinned.
"Well, since the door has been shoved wide open, no longer just a foot in the door, you gotta hit me with those baby names, Kenny, let me have 'em." he said, winking at her and grinning effortlessly, like some cool guy in a movie, "I gotta know what little Egans we'll have."
"You're leaving the naming to me?" she asked him with a laugh and Bucky grinned.
"Hell yeah I am," he said with a wider smile, "seriously, what are they." Kennedy softened and then smiled.
"I always thought Florence was a pretty name. For a girl - Flo for short. Margaret - Maggie for short. Charlotte - Charlie for short." Kennedy said and Bucky grinned, "For boys, wellā¦..Gregory for sure. I've always loved Clark or James, Jimmy for short. Robertā¦.Bobby for short."
"You sure are a nicknames type of girl aren't you?" Bucky said and Kennedy grinned.
"What can I say?" she said, "I thought your name was actually Bucky before I found out that was only a nickname and your name was actually Major John Egan. I was convinced, I'll tell ya." Bucky chuckled at that and smiled at her, reaching up to run some strands of hair back away from her face. He watched her in that sickeningly sweet way that made every part of her body melt in a way she couldn't describe.
"What'd they do to you?" Bucky whispered, reaching up to brush his calloused thumb near the tender part of her bruise, his touch gentle on her skin and her body inviting his touch; she felt in every lifetime, she'd invite his touch like a warm spark, a match with a flame waiting to blow.
Kennedy's smile fell as she watched him - the memories raw, it all seemed fresh in her mind and usually nightmares chased reality away. Instead this time, it was both a mix of reality and nightmares that were her everyday waking truth.
"I knew those Kraut doctors would have something for Bessie's cough." Kennedy whispered, pretty mater-of-factly to him softly - she liked this, whispering with him like things were a secret and that for once it was just the two of them - and she liked hearing his voice whispered back, so low and quiet and soft on her ears. She loved his voice. Bucky watched her, thumb brushing on her bruised cheek gently as he did so. She wanted him to look at her like that forever, however long forever could be if it were him.
"I would've done it for you," Bucky said quietly with a nod, "scrounged it for you-"
"No." Kennedy whispered softly, her eyes flashing to his, "You've already done enough for me, Bucky-"
"You got hurt, Kennedy." Bucky said, his voice thick with emotion, choked somewhere in his throat, "They hurt you." Bucky's eyes flashed with pain and Kennedy shut her mouth slowly.
"I know that." Kennedy whispered, "I've gotten hurt before. All the time. Even when I was a kid. And for a friend, for someone like Bessie, I'd do it again." Bucky watched her still.
"They hurt you." Bucky repeated, this time his voice firmer, but shaky, like he was standing out on a balance beam, waiting for the wind to take him and tip him towards the abyss.
Silence fell between them and suddenly Kennedy felt more emotional than she had in days. He cares, her mind seemed to scream, he's saying this because he cares! But her mind couldn't seem to make sense of it, she couldn't seem to get that picture in her mind. She was still in that flightless mode, that build-up-your-walls-and-you-are-fine mode.
"I know." Kennedy whispered her voice shaky, "But I'm okay." Bucky's eyes moved back and forth frantically between hers for a second before focusing on the bruise on her cheek again.
Being this close to him, staring into his gaze, his eyes, knowing that if felt like he could see the deepest parts of her, scared her. In so many ways. In ways she didn't want to have to think about.
Sitting in this silence with him wasn't something she was entirely used to - and she couldn't get her mind to work, to get words formed on her lips. Instead, all she could do was stare right back at him. Convince him with a look that she was okay.
"I don't want you to have to worry about me." Kennedy said quietly, looking up slowly at Bucky with a shy look, "You shouldn't have to worry." Bucky's face moved with a near-grimace, a pained expression flourishing on his features in a way that made Kennedy want to eat her words.
"But I will." Bucky said, his voice louder this time, "Kennedy, look, Iā¦." Bucky's eyes trailed towards the window again, before pulling back to her, "You know, me worrying about you. Itā¦.it isn't up for discussion. In my eyes. I know you're used to looking out for yourself, but I need you to understanding that you don't have to live like that anymore." Kennedy's eyes watered.
"I'm here," Bucky said, cupped her cheek firmer this time, looking right into her eyes, desperation flooding his own, "for as long as I'm around, I'm going to come between you and anything that wants to hurt you. Okay?"
"Buckyā¦." she whispered, but he shook his head and adjusted his grip on her before leaning closer to her.
"They hurt you, Kennedy," Bucky whispered, "and the thought of them laying a single fucking hand on you makes me wanna lose my mind. Touching you. Because you were doing something for a crew member-"
"I don't want you hurt because of me." Kennedy told him quietly, watching as his eyes flicked to hers, pausing mid-sentence.
"Kennedy, I'd taking a fucking bullet for you," Bucky said, watching her with a steady gaze, "I'd do anything for you." Bucky grew quiet. Kennedy watched him back with big eyes.
"Fuck, Kennedy, I love you, I'm in love with you," Bucky whispered, looking up into her eyes, with the purest form of grief and pain and love swirling in his vision, "you worry about the people you love. I'm always gonna worry. Even if you're right beside me."
Kennedy's heart slammed against her chest as she sat wrapped in his arms, breathing the same air he breathed, watching those eyes, memorizing each freckle on his face, every time the muscles moved in his face to make him smile or frown.
Love was a word that had physically hurt her to even say in the past - to her mom, her dad, her brother, to those few guys she had dated and sworn promises and lives with.
Love had never been a word she used well or even understood well.
With Bucky though, she felt she understood love in every which way. In ways that were still to be explored. And no one had ever looked at her with a love like he had - even when she had come to the Stalag, dried blood up half her face, dirt and mud caking her form, starving for life and food and touch, barely being able to acknowledge anything but a bed for a few days, craving everything that was both human and not.
Scorning the world and the place they were in, and every single person.
And Bucky had been by her side and fed her soup and told her stories and held her in the dark as the nightmares and reality seemed to clash in her mind, wrapping her in calming words and blankets made of nothing but thin wool and telling her everything that came to his mind.
It had been Bucky. It'd always be Bucky.
"I'm so in love with you Bucky, you don't even know," Kennedy managed out in a sped up version of what her mind had managed to come up with, "I love you so much. And I don't want you hurt." A tear squeaked out down her face as he watched her.
Slowly, their foreheads met in the small center of space between them, inches between them as Bucky pulled her as close as he physically could to him, the clothes on their very bodies almost too much between them even now.
Slowly and almost achingly, Bucky pressed his lips to hers and she let herself go in that moment. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, hands mused into his hair, his own hands pushed up underneath her shirt and warming her cold skin, dancing near her bra strap and holding her in such a delicate manner, she was sure she could cry about it 10 years in the future.
Bucky's lips were soft, but hungry and by the time his tongue had slipped inside, she couldn't think about anything else. His soft sighs into her mouth, her own mind going a thousand miles a minute with him there so close to her, Kennedy was sure she had entered a world she never wanted to leave.
They came apart gasping for breaths of air before his lips were trailing her jawline, before settling on her neck, and she giggled, curling into his own neck - his jacket nearly smelled like home.
Like Thorpe Abbotts - that hug they'd shared that long night when bombs were going off overhead and Bucky couldn't seem to contain his words or his alcohol.
And God, she had stared at him and sworn she would never think of him again, but here she was, the two of them holding each other in a way she'd never been held before and was thinking of every outcome of their lives past this very point in time.
Bucky's teeth grazed a bit at that soft spot on her neck, before he softly pulled back and kissed her skin gently, peppering that same spot with soft kisses that made her grin into him.
Then, she couldn't help it - giddy with the feel of him there with her and the way he had kissed her, so desperately and hungry, she let out a laugh into his neck and he seemed to feel much of the same of whatever energy she was feeling, because he laughed, too. A low rumble that she felt against her cheek, from his throat, which made her hold onto him so tightly that she never wanted to let go.
"Bucky?" Kennedy whispered against his neck, listening to his heart pulsate - she loved the feel of him right here beneath here - every inch.
"Kenny?" Kennedy pressed a soft kiss to his neck and watched goosebumps appear and a shiver run over his entire body.
"I've never loved someone more than you." she whispered quietly. Bucky tilted his head back and watched her and seeing his eyes so big and soft and there, right in front of her, made her suddenly feel like everything was worth it.
"I love you," he whispered, pressing a peck to her lips before pulling back and smiling at her, "the thinking spot has never let a person down now, has it?"
And then, she was laughing again, clasping a hand over her mouth as she launched her head back.
Laughing with Bucky, God, she'd fight a war herself just to live in this moment with him every night there was in her life.
#CUE ME QUITE LITERALLY SOBBING MY EYES OUT HI AND HELLO??????#this is very much the 'we kissed now what do we do from here' piece and i am honestly obsessed#with every bit of this#bucky fighting to reach kennedy's mind and tell her that it is OKAY if someone cares for u#thats what u do when u love someone#like SHOWING HER ITS OKAY!!! TO LOVE!!! TO CARE!! TO FEEL!!!!#bucky egan the man u are!!!#kennedy needs someone like him - constant and persistent and present at all times#while also willing to fight for his life for her#and turning into a melted candle around her too#like okay can we queue 'unknown / nth' by hozier at this point goddamn#LIKEEEEE anyway dont mind me losing my mind over these two#its just me all the time at this point#kennedy x bucky#kennedy farley#john egan#john egan x oc#silver bullets#mota writings#masters of the air#masters of the air fic#ALSO HELLO TALKING ABOUT HAVING KIDS TOGETHER I AM DONE ... GONE FOR ..... plz feel free to vote for the kid names im so for it !!!!!!
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more historical fiction needs to be set in ww1. bonus points if you fag it up
#every time i check historical fiction books its like the year: 1943 and like OK geez#either ww2 era or like the 60s or 20s or some shit#can i PLEASE get a story set in the goddamn trenches of verdun thats mean and nasty about killing characters#sorry theres no easy ābad sideā in that war ?? make the bad side the governments cuz thats what it was#my god. can i read about our protag watching some guy die horrifically from a gas attack#and then fuck one of the other soldiers to find any form of intimacy+comfort#read one book set in ww1 but it focused mainly on the russian revolution. still a good one i love u martha hall kelly#but they made this one random dude enlist in the air force and i was SURE he was dead walking corpse u know#but he SURVIVED i was mad. kill this bitch#pilots at a certain point in the war i wanna say 15-16 had such short life expectancies KILL HIM !!!!!#anyway if u have recommendations of queer ass ww1 books i will take them please and thank u#dont even have to be queer just want some all quiet on the western front type shit
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helloooo my dearest darling listeners, i am back on my soapbox to regale you all with the marvelous things i witnessed/experienced on my Whimsical As Fuckā¢ļø three hour drive today. not necessarily in order <3
some cute does with bigass floppy ears / very sweet waitress who called me "hon" and put the most tasty looking crepes on my table / a pair of hawks divebombing a golden eagle / a kite (the bird) / a flock of magpies / some GORGEOUS scenery / a rainbow / lovely rain sprinklings / MORE gorgeous scenery, i mean what the fuck / fields of purple/orange/red tipped bushes / a meadow of buttercup-yellow very tall grass, in which many picturesque trees stood / lots of fluffy, adorable, tasty cows / a large herd of likely-feral horses with a wonderful variety of patterns & colors / the fluffiest husky ever / the juxtaposition of cold wind through an open window + warm sunlight / the most stunning snow-coated mountain of whites and blues in the sun, wreathed in clouds / no seriously some really fucking Gorgeous scenery, i was near tears with some of it
#i am feeling. Better Than I Have In A While#you know! last night i was very unhappy that i would have to do this drive!#but after my 2 hour doze in the ihop parking lot#and a nice breakfast of crepes and tea w/ my book#i was feeling better and decided Fuck It. im gonna make myself enjoy this drive#im gonna take my goddamn time and really absorb my surroundings#by fuck i will stop at a rest stop and take a walk! and i did all of it!#life is actually worth it! glad to have continuous confirmation of that#its so nice to drive and actually see things#beautiful landscapes... wildlife... Geography...#instead of just Flat. Scrub. Brown. More Scrub. Dirt. Dead Scrub aka Tumbleweed. Boring Brown Hills. No Weather.#i can go outside the clouds are Full and the air is Fresh and birds are Singing and i am Alive#absolutely unprompted#i expect the feeling of realness to fade soon but i will enjoy it while it lasts!#and maybe if i feel it often enough it will outlast the disconnect!#now i think i am going to treat myself to a pork bun i just bought & get one of the nice beers from the garage#ive Earned It!#you all treat yourself to something you like as well. we have all earned it simply by existing!#you're here today! Yippee! indulge!#im feeling so fucking whimsical today... ill go work on setting up my extra monitor and figuring out how the fuck that works!#my mic has already arrived! i have hope that i will do a test stream Soon!
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okay i know she ain't really dead but holy shit
#fantastic horrified scream from vax by the way goddamn#the legend of vox machina#keyleth of the air ashari#aj watches vox machina#aj watches
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Been working on my nana wheeler is fake thesis *screaming and crying can be heard far off in the distance*
#been thinking about brenners obvious inspo from harry har/low and his surrogate mother experient (ie replaced the baby monkeys mother with#an inanimate object) and the urn. the goddamn urn....#and how these monkeys were unable to parent correctly bc their frame of reference was an unattached object as a mother#so they ended up just ignoring their offspring bc thats the environment they were raised in#and all the blonde wig stuff right down to the episode of knight ry/der that was airing in s1e1 and els blonde wig and karens bleesh blonde#hair and tammy thompson being described as a 'muppet' ie an inanimate object (puppet) being controlled by someone else#and of course the creel rose DOOR which is of course. another object and not a person.#its like oooooh waht the hell. okay this is an experiement. ook.kay#the yellow wheeler dining room wallpaper cover in roses. the urn turning yellow when the roses disapear... when the roses are gone whats#underneath it is yellow. the ye/llow wallpaper (locked in a prison where your husband-doctor (father-doctor? brenner?) claims to treat you)#oooooh sick. the fandom is currently dead but the nana revalations never end. it gets more evil the more i think abt it. im sick...#misc#rosegateposting
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guess what I finished watching
#genuinely I am bamboozled#I heard it was bad and I knew it was bad but I didnt realize the scene ITSELF was as horrible as that#its just. genuinely how fucking dare you for doing that#I understand the concept okay#the entire season and show has been foreshadowing eve's own death and I Get the concept of twisting that around#in the sense that her death comes from another's undoing and that her death comes from villanelle's protection#but the execution ????? even putting aside that the ending itself is shit and disingenuous for the characters. the EXECUTION OF IT#thats the part that has Genuinely stumped me#even the reveal at the very end with carolyn- at this point that means nothing#there's no leadup to it happening like I thought there would be it just Happens while theyre being happy and it's all over within 30 second#and then the show Ends#what the fuck#knowing it was coming didnt even help it just makes me more angry than sad#in the last two minutes???????????#goddamn#I am so fucking sorry to u all who watched this season as it aired#that is sick#after all the character development????#okay. I promise I'm done now. what the fuck. I went to bed immediately after watching and woke up ANGRY#sorry for the abundance of tags mygod#killing eve#killing eve spoilers#smokey speaks
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apartment update: still no pictures cos everythings still Ass but that old desk of my sister in laws thats very nice and all but kind of in the way is gonna go to my old room in my parents house. and in its place im gonna get my old bookshelf from my old room. in my parents house
#its this like almost 20-year-old lundia that i think could do with an extra shelf piece#cos when it was first assebled i had this bigass cd/cassette player with big separate speakers#and theres this huge space to accommodate it all. i havent had that system in Years and now theres tons of empty air in there#where a Lot more books could fit#sure my record collections there but again i dont have a player. but i do have books. and they COULD fit that goddamn lundia#IF i only had EVEN THAT ONE extra shelf piece.#i do need to make an inventory of what books from that old shelf simply need to Go.#like for example i do Not need those hardcover finnish harry potter books#and i need to make a decision about the finnish hardcovers of dark towers 3 and 4#on the one hand story good on the other hand the translation makes me want to either kill myself or just. make a better translation#like the translations bad in ways that cant all be explained by sking being Like That#much like that shining translation i consulted for the finnish version of that gbu x shining fic. god that sucked ASS#i dont know if it was the same translator. but man. its like hey man do you like. Understand what youre reading. is this a first draft#anyway. the parents are going to the summer cottage tomorrow so the desk/lundia exchange wont happen till sometime next week#also also next week my brother and sister in law are coming over for tea (i need him to put up my curtains im too 160cm for that š)#and! im gonna get a pakig tomorrow. with a vacuum cleaner in it#home
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man. the rwby subreddit is like... dire huh
#i get that the show isn't perfect but holy fuck why do you expend so much energy on something that you HATE#my man you need to inhale the autumn air! read some poetry! goddamn!#rwby#from the desk
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damn, twitter sure is something. first thing i see after opening it is some guy spreading context-ripped screencaps overemphasizing that he's being attacked for his identity and not because he's palling around gross transmisogynists and spreading transphobic rhetoric while passing it off as "queer and progressive"
really great DARVO there, honestly. "queer infighting" at its peak because all it amounts to is guys wanting to be the most oppressed person in the conversation involving trans women...
#qq posts#discourse watch#dont like dipping into discourse literally on new years but goddamn#i hope him and his crowd of assholes disappear and stop butting into transmisogyny discussions#but i know theyre never gonna stop cause they think theyre the 'right' kind of queer >.>#especially since theyre basically stealing air from actual productive discussions over fucking fandom beef
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