#the style kinda fit like a glove somehow

[sweetmapple]

Style practice no.1 Pokémon

[thecoolsquirrel]

SONA REFERENCE SHEET

I absolutely adore all the artwork of what people think the Ramshackle uniforms would look like but I wanted to a more-I dont want to say realistically- but definitely less fun looking kinda one JSDNJSD

The Notes:

SCHOOL UNIFORM

-Gilbert is pretty small (see this post,I named all the ghosts and made designs for when they where alive <3) so if Yuu was looking for some clothes around Ramshackle,I think there'd be a blazer small enough for them! Though I try to make the shoulder pads to go off a bit more so it would appear more like a male blazer.

-The style of vest and blazer are also different from the uniforms now, the gold outlines around the blazer go all around instead of just on the sides like the present ones do.

-The vest buttons are fabric buttons

-Baggy pants,kinda fit uncomfortably

-No belt! Suspenders instead

-The shoes are also ones they found around Ramshackle that are stuffed with newspapers 🥺🫴my favorite hc

DORM UNIFORM

-Outfit is based on Mickey,Donald,and Goofy in a drawing for the Haunted Mansion (?)

-There's gold buttons to make it seem more 'fancy'

-3 rings,(Pointer,Middle,Index) to symbolize Mickeys gloves

P.E OUTFIT

-Still pondering the idea of Ramshackles dorm logo, so let's just say at the time of the Ghosts,all the T-shirts where just 'NRC', the font is the font from 'Lonesome Ghosts'

-The jumper(?) looks even more prison like lol

-The tag on them is:NRC1-I37

I wanted it to revolve around Lonesome Ghosts somehow and it was very convenient that Yuu would be a first year so I could make it

'1-I37' or 1937 ('I' is the 9th letter in the Alphabet) the year 'Lonesome Ghosts' came out.

----

both the bangs/fringe? mimic 20s waves <3

[astrowaffle]

Wow you guys really seemed to like the steampunk AU, that post got way more attention than I was expecting, so here's some more information and stuff:

-The world is still like a videogame that they got trapped in but now it’s a steampunk adventure-y type game with circus elements 

-The adventures are probably a bit different

-They’re probably more like, fantasy adventure video game style things with like puzzles and fighting? Idk I'm not a big gamer I've never actually played any steampunk video games. What are those like?

-Instead of circus tent, there is a big wagon thingy that I'll draw eventually

-there's still not much of a story and I'm not sure If there'll ever be

-I'd also kinda want to make some mini comics for this au but I suck at coming up with ideas :/

Pomni:  

-She likes to craft things

-friends with Gangle and Ragatha

-still very anxious but less anxious then normal Pomni?

-has a very logical mind and is good at puzzling things together but also doesn’t do well under pressure and typically panics in stressful moments where these skills might be useful

-She can play the flute because flutes are good, they are the best instrument. (I am totally not biased just because I play the flute in marching band)

-My headcanon for regular Pomni is that she’s less anxious than she initially is in the pilot after getting used to things, like, beyond the anxiety, her actual personality is very cheery and friendly, also very logical, because idk it just fits her somehow? So yea, that headcanon also applies to this au 

-but of course she is still an absolute nervous wreck because yes

-How else is she supposed to react in this situation

-also look at those fingerless gloves I want those

-the gears in her eyes turn when she is thinking

Gangle:

-Also likes crafting things

-friends with Pomni, Zooble, and Kinger

-she often borrows  sewing needles from Ragatha to sew her comedy mask back together when it’s torn, and also constantly tries to craft new ones

-She really likes her boots

-I don’t blame her those are some nice boots

-Ok wait a minute what if that little wing bow thingy on her head is actually a pen/quill that she can use to write stuff?

-ooooooh yes I like that

Caine: 

-✨monocle✨

-He can control the time of day with the clock that’s on his hat

-It’s a lot harder for him to heal injuries in this world, he can’t just instantly fix anything anymore it requires a bit more effort

-I’m doing this because I like when injury and pain and suffering

Bubble: um- idk it’s just bubble but now they’re a robot I guess

Kinger:

-ok but what if he had a collection of mechanical insects? Omg designing mechanical insects would be so fun-

-The clock that he wears is broken but he doesn’t notice. And Time is irrelevant anyways

-damn those gloves are fancy

-they probably feel really silky

-and his robe is also very silky because mmm good texture

Zooble:

-They are a robot now

-also a mechanic/inventor because nobody else is and somebody had to learn how to make new robot parts

-their right arm can go s t r e t c h

-bonds with Gangle over their hatred of Jax

-they’re also kinda protective over her

-I lowkey ship them (this ship is so underrated)

-No but seriously why do see zero art of this ship

- Zoob’s in denial about their feelings and still pretends not to care because they’ve had such a “I don’t give a shit about anything” attitude that suddenly developing feelings for someone has caught them off guard cause they suddenly are giving a shit about something and they don’t know how to handle it, But if Jax does anything to Gangle they will rush in to protect her in a heartbeat and just try to play it off as it just being because they don’t like Jax BUT WE ALL KNOW THE TRUTH ZOOBLE JUST CONFESS ALREADY-

-ok that got way too rambly let's just move on now

Jax:

-MY FAVORITE

-he likes shiny things

-He will collect those shiny things

-He also very fast because look at those LANKY RABBIT LEGS

-I mean technically that’s already cannon, did you see how fast he ran away after seeing abstracted kaufmo? He just z o o m e d outta there

-those keys on the chain are only a small portion of his collection

-his room is definitely full of weird steampunk knick knacks because yes

-He uses them to prank people

-the centipedes he has to scare/annoy Ragatha are mechanical

-I’m so excited to design mechanical centipedes I love bugs so much guys you have no idea I finally have an excuse to draw insects and maybe people will actually care because it’s fandom related now

-He does not like getting wet. At all. (this is also just a general headcanon for him but especially in this au)

-floofy

Ragatha:

-the seams of her fabric are prone to tearing so she always carries a needle and thread to sew herself back together. she's good at sewing

-My main headcannon for normal Ragatha is that her button eye is a parallel to an eye injury she had in real life before joining the circus, but in this AU she probably acquired the injury in this universe.

-she’s good at using tools and weapons but not in like, a mechanic sorta way like Zooble but in a defense sorta way

-like, she’s very kind and caring but also sorta tough and even though her body is good at falling apart, she knows how to use strategy to fight and um wait what would they even be fighting-

-idk I haven’t thought about that yet

-Gloinks?????

-do those exist in this au???

-wait it’s my au why am I asking this

-overall she is very, “tries to help everyone else and seems very tough on the outside but is prone to falling apart both physically and mentally but just gets good at quickly patching it up and ignoring it until it become too much for her to bear”

-pls help her she needs therapy

-they all need therapy

-I’m pretty sure we’ve all established that at this point

-but I’m just making sure you know that it’s still a consistent factor in this au

[a-legacy-not-to-be-forgotten]

Undertale Yellow Car Headcanons 2

People liked the first one, so I figured I'd go do a few more to cover some folks I missed and add some extras for ones I already covered. Kudos to a friend on Discord who's a massive car nut and suggested quite a few of these. First one in case you haven't seen it. This one's a bit chonkier, so grab a snack or something.

Martlet: Electric Bike

Even if Martlet getting her hands on a driver's license is nigh impossible, we figured she should at least have something, even if she doesn't use it that much. Electric bikes seem to fit her style. Dunno if she'd use it often, but if the surface has no-fly laws or whatever, it'd probably help her out some.

Toriel: 2CV

...okay, Tori isn't really a UTY-exclusive character, but she has a minor role in the game, so does she count? Anyway, my friend had the idea of her using what they described as 'everybody's favorite little wine snail' and I think it fits her too well.

Chujin: Loud Ass 90s Tuner Car

If Chujin didn't inject raw Mountain Dew Voltage into his soul and survived to see the surface, he'd probably drive something like this. It ties in with the whole Ben 10 thing and it's a great way to express himself, as obnoxious as it may be. Usually, Ceroba makes him drive the family sedan.

Ceroba: If She Owned the Hummer (Semi-Joke one)

I meant for it as a shitpost, but we thought up an idea if she actually did own the car. Don't worry, she always looks before merging. Anyway, we figured she got it mainly because it's pretty cool. However, it is a massive waste of gas money, so she only uses it for camping or driving Kanako and Clover around on their birthdays. Otherwise, it mainly collects dust in her garage while she uses the more fuel-efficient sedan.

El Bailador: Lowrider

Kudos to @cheddarchandelure for suggesting this and it couldn't fit any better. Lowriders fit him like a glove. You know he just has this thing modded like crazy. It's nearly 20 feet of car, too. You don't get much more expressive than that.

Feisty Five: GMC Vandura

I gave the Feisty Five individual vehicles, but they also kinda need a car for the whole gang and what better vehicle for a group of crime fighting dinguses. Perfect for missions, lassons, or just hanging out as a group together. Starlo technically owns it, but usually Moray or Ace drive the thing.

Ace: Antique Mercedes

Okay, I know I technically already did Ace in the first part, but my friend suggested an Antique Mercedes, which I think fits a lot better than the Porche. I'll let you guys draw your own conclusions, tho.

Moray: SLK Roadster

Still a convertible, but I didn't like the image I used in the last one. So now we got a specific model for our favorite fish with no gender.

Mooch: Pretty Much Anything, but here's a Corolla

On the chance that Mooch somehow gets her license back, she'd be willing to drive whatever. Hopefully more responsibly this time around.

Dina: 5th Gen Mustang

My friend suggested that a classier style of muscle car would fit better than the more aggressive model I used in the first, and I think it suits her more laid-back nature well.

Blackjack: Antique Flatbed

It's been in his family for generations, and he's way too attached to the thing to get rid of it. Generally, he just fixes up anything that breaks down on him.

Starlo's Family: Uh...Trucks

The main workhorses for the Sunnyside Farm. Sure, they got a few dents and aren't the cleanest or most advanced, but hey, they get the job done. Mainly driven by Solomon and Orion, occasionally Starlo. The Cabover (bottom) is generally used for the big harvests and the pickup works for everything else.

Mo: C4 Corvette

The perfect car for a sleazy businessman! Well, not sleazy, but you get what I mean. He likes to act stylish with his choice of car, but his is constantly breaking down mechanically, since he doesn't really bother fixing the thing, just detailing it. Doesn't leave the best impressions for shoppers.

Honeydew Shopkeeper: Figaro

Why? Well, simple, it's small and cute, just like she is! Not much else to say beyond that.

Kanako: '70 Dodge Challenger

Kanako's still a bit too young to drive, but we settled on this for a dream car of hers, with both a road and track package. She got the idea from both the racing games she plays and Dina's own muscle car. Nobody understands why, But she really wants to visit San Francisco with it

Clover: Ford Galaxie Convertible

Figured we should do Clover's dream car as well. Not much a reasoning, we thought this just fit their style. Once they come of age, you know darn well they'll be racing Kanako.

Warned ya that would be a big one! Anyway, lemme know what y'all think!

[marvelmusing]

fic idea (based on this pic I saw where Sir is in black leather, looking suave as all hell): you go to university with Aleksander, who everyone knows as the brilliant-yet-arrogant History guy. Somehow you end up at a strip club outside of town where he gives you a performance. Apparently Baghra forced him to get a job (he won’t get any money past tuition til he graduates). He figures you’ll keep his secret if he can seduce you. IDK I just like seeing him in prep clothes & then leather 😇

YES

I love this so much

[18+ content under the cut]

(I’m also kinda tempted to make this into an AU and write some drabbles)

Imagine you’re not studying history, but decide to take a history module for a semester as a chance to study something different and you get stuck working with Aleksander.

At first you’re reluctant because you hate group work, but when you realise he’s smart and dedicated you start to think that maybe it won’t be too bad.

The only problem is he knows exactly how smart he is and never misses an opportunity to show off about it (even though this is just him trying to impress you).

You’re not even visiting the strip club, a friend of yours knew you lived nearby and asked if her cousin - who works there - could pass on a birthday present. You weren’t doing anything that night, and you had always been a little curious about the club, so you had agreed.

It’s only once you’re leaving that you bump into Aleksander. Quite literally. Your forehead momentarily presses against a firm bare chest and from then onwards you’re shifting your thighs together.

He’s surprised to see you, and you’re shocked at the sight of him.

In classes and when you meet in the library Aleksander is always dressed in carefully styled business casual and it suits him. You aren’t expecting the sight of him in form fitting trousers and a pair of leather gloves.

Everything about him has your legs wobbling as you stand in front of him. From your end, your conversation seems stilted and awkward and you’re eager to get away before you can embarrass yourself even further.

But then as you’ve turned away he calls out to you.

Since his shift is almost over, he insists on driving you home.

When you step out into the cool night air, Aleksander has changed his outfit but he looks no less attractive in the familiar wool coat. The leather gloves remain on, which you struggle to look away from.

As Aleksander drives you home, you somehow manage to confess how inexperienced you are when it comes to sex. There’s a thoughtful look in his eyes that makes your cheeks burn even hotter.

You thank him for taking you home, lingering only briefly before you close the car door behind you. Aleksander is still parked outside when you walk towards the stairs that lead up to your room.

You’re practically ready for bed when there’s a knock at your door. Looking down at the long sweatshirt you’re wearing, you shrug and answer the door tentatively.

Aleksander is standing in your doorway.

He proposes a deal. In exchange for keeping his job a secret from everyone, he will teach you everything there is to know about sex. Anything you want to know or try, Aleksander will help you with.

You agree.

That first night he sits you down in his lap, your back against his chest with your legs spread apart firmly by his own thighs, and he ensures you come undone twice over his leather clad fingers, praising you constantly.

Once he’s finished with you, you’re hazy and he’s doting. He helps you into bed, setting your alarm and telling you that he’s going to take you out for breakfast tomorrow. A muffled hum is the only response you’re capable of.

You’re certain he presses a kiss to your forehead before he leaves.

[miqo-tales]

Jobs at 100 - CASTING

RDM

Dunno if I like Grand Impact. Feels awkward? It is pretty high potency though, so I just need to force myself to use it when it's up.

Manafication giving a free use instead of gauge is nice. Once again I'm confused that some jobs get that and some don't.

...not much else to say, really.

LVL100 AF thoughts: Very swashbuckler/pirate-y. The gloves are kinda boring and I'm not sure about the hat, but overall it's really nice.

************************************************

SMN

Third verse, same as the first.

So, it's been more than 10 years with Big Red, Big Yellow, and Big Green. It is long past time for the other three to show up.

So I really hope that by lvl 120 or something, SMN alternates between access to Ifrit/Titan/Garuda and Ramuh/Shiva/Leviathan.

So Bahamut, I/T/G, Phoenix, R/S/L, YugiOh Bahamut, I/T/G, and so on.

Alternatively, SMN could get something like PCT's Subtractive Palette that swaps Ruby, Topaz, and Emerald Arcanums for Amethyst, Diamond, and Sapphire Arcanums (or whatever gemstones might fit).

LVL100 AF thoughts: Looking back, SMN has had a weird mix of styles for AF. And none of them have really been any good, have they? Whereas this is another of the "wow it's an actual outfit" ones for this expansion. I mean it's just so startlingly practical; I wish every job got this look. I don't like the head piece that much though? It's the one thing in SMN AF that shouldn't be understated.

************************************************

PCT

Really don't like this job sub-60. Not having subtractive palette kinda sucks.

Can we all agree Hammer Stamp is the best thing ever? Yea whatever cute moogles, I just wanna go all Akane on mobs all the time with my interdimensional cartoon hammer.

As big as the AoE for Starry Muse is, you'd think I wouldn't have trouble staying inside it for 5 casts and yet, somehow...

The animations for this job are so good. As much as Viper is the poster-job for Dawntrail, I think Picto is arguably a better one. This job could not have been released before now. This job is your character having fun.

Also, yeesh, the damage this job can do sometimes, particularly in lower level content. "Hits like a truck" is not descriptive enough. This job reincarnates mobs to different worlds. Every time you kill something, a new light novel is created.

I dunno what this job's optimal rotation is, and I'm not sure I wanna go find out. I suspect playing it optimally will ruin it for me.

LVL100 AF thoughts: Kinda wish we'd gotten Relm's mantle/cape instead of the jacket, but not a big deal. In any case, it's cute and I like how it dyes. However, I gotta say, I'm not impressed with any of the in-game brushes.

************************************************

BLM

As I thought, the change to how you regain MP is a major bonus for me. I could never get a handle on the old way it worked.

I can actually play BLM now, which is nice. Though I'd only qualify as "okay" in most content, so not like I'm gonna use it a lot all of a sudden.

I wish the Thunder spells were genuinely oGCD (meaning they didn't reset all other ability timers). Also kinda wish Flare got upgraded to Despair instead of it being a separate ability.

3 polyglot charges is kinda disgusting.

The revamp to Manafont is pretty cool, but damn, the updates to Umbral Soul are maybe the best thing ever. Just straight up stopping the Enochian counter? Full umbral hearts outside of combat? Yes thank you.

Flare Star is pretty cool.

LVL100 AF thoughts: Like so many others, it's an actual outfit! Easily the best looking AF so far. It's not even close.

************************************************

[pangtasias-atelier]

Cafe Chonkies

This has been in my drafts for some time but finally churned out another idea for a l3agu3 story. This is kinda jokey at the beginning cause it's funny and also cause I kept adding to this story so now it's at like 5k words lmao. Also don't worry about how any of this makes sense in canon cause I sure didn't lmao

Featuring Yo/ne, Se/tt, & Ka/yn cause this is a gift for @beepboop260 despite me being a day late lol

Warning: This is a fetish story!

“I’m to do, what?” Kayn smooths out the singular minor crease on the very bottom flap of his black suit. In his uniform, the stuffy attire never feels quite right compared to his more casual style of dressing, but with a tantalizingly nice paycheck always awaiting him, Kayn can put up with the effort of appearing somewhat proper. Said paycheck is nice enough for him to get past his small beginner belly that is clearly evident by the form fitting suit.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” Kayn having questioned his boss, she ignores his pointless question. Instead, Renata Glasc pulls out a cigar. And it’s the fattest, biggest stogie known to man, it juts out a several feet in front of Renata as she lights it and takes a drag. And she blows the smoke at Kayn directly into his face as if he were a poor, small Victorian child. Which he might as well be next to her, Renata one of the most disgustingly filthy rich people in all of Valor. 

Of course, with so much money built off the back breaking, dulling work from everyone besides oneself, laundering money is a necessity. Renata’s cutthroat nature involving anything and everything meant that a fair amount of what was meant to be simple “business ventures” actually flourished. 

One such business being a maid cafe, the idea originally pitched by the upcoming group of interns hired to help the company keep an aware mind of the spending habits of the younger generation. And also for free labor, mostly for free labor actually. The idea eventually proposed to the companies’ executives through spinning the narrative by somehow making it about turning gender norms around by creating a maid cafe with instead butlers to allow women to regain empowerment and also even creating an lgbtqia+ friendly environment, the idea had been approved like many others all to secretly launder money. 

What no one had expected — no one besides Renata who easily predicted the likelihood of such a venture gaining traction — was that the many degenerates who enjoyed going to such places would easily fund said businesses. And there was no shortage of equally degenerate individuals who would apply for such a job, especially one that paid well — nowhere near close to the amount that Renata herself earned of course.

As Kayn coughs into his gloved hand, his smoke delirious mind envisioning as if the smoke was forming around his neck and choking him, Renata takes a second drag of her fat ass cigar. 

“Well? The boss shouldn’t have to be at the store for work to get done,” Blowing one more puff of smoke at Kayn, Renata passes by the no smoking sign as she goes into her office. 

Now free, he takes off his gloves so as to not dirty them. Kayn first opens the couple of windows that can be opened. He takes a few deep breaths of fresh, non-smoke filled air before doing what Renata asked of him. He rummages through the store’s stock of food. Clearly told which items to grab, he grabs everything that is within thirty days of expiring. He grabs a bevy of different pastries, the sugary calorie dense sweets piled onto a couple massively wide serving trays. And after finishing that, he starts digging through the entire stock of drinks. The place trying to maintain a semblance of upscaleness — a point that allowed them to easily upcharge on everything — Kayn pulls out all the fresh ingredients close to expiring. He places them on the counter and sorts them by recipes. Having memorized a good chunk of recipes from his long time working here, the task goes by quickly as he sees which drinks can be made from just near expiring stuff. Upon completing that, Renata’s project finished, Kayn organizes the pastries a bit better to help make the bundle of food more appealing. 

Eventually, he hears the faint chime of the doorbell at the front. Without even paying much attention, he walks over to go open the door, the other two employees right on time.

The two of them far newer than everyone else, the two had quickly become popular with the store’s clientele. Which when next together makes evident why both had become popular. 

A fiery red mop of hair atop an outstandingly tall figure, Sett has much more than just height to draw in a crowd. His entire figure teems and bulges with muscles, Sett seeming out of place working in such a place instead of being in a bodybuilder competition. His suit is tailored just like all the other employees, the sleeves of his suit just stretchy enough to not tear from his powerful biceps that can rival the size of someone’s head even when only mildly flexed. His chest similarly strains his suit. His breast pocket had gone unused ever since joining, no room to fit anything inside with how much space his jutting chest takes up. His suit remains unbuttoned, a purposeful decision to show off the struggling buttons of his white button up. His body thick and wide, the tiny gaps of his shirt offer the smallest window into seeing his tanned defined abs. Sett’s trousers are also designed with the similar mindset of giving the customers what they want. His perky bubble butt gained through years of dedication to squats and cycling is perfectly outlined. His rear is equally a spot of admiration from the guests, many grabbing it just as they do his pecs and biceps. His strong thighs also press against the thin yet durable fabric of his trousers, the defined musculature even visible. His trousers tailored to taper along the hard contours of Sett’s body, even his bulging calves seem impressive. 

Next to Sett is another rather large individual. Piercing black hair that drapes all the way down the man’s back is Yone. Yone stands at a rather short height, his slightly below average height typical of those from his country. However, his musculature is atypical. Or rather, his clear lack of it. For Yone is a complete butterball. Originally only a bit past pudgy, Yone’s time at his new job easily found him packing on the pounds. His rather sizable tummy is now doughy enough to sag down to just barely cover his crotch, his belly covering up his fat pad. The lone, singular button on his suit is actually buttoned. Although it is strained by holding back the waterfall of flab. The shape of his chunky love handles are accentuated by the flaps of his suit, the material curving outward to accommodate Yone’s flabby curves. Both his soft, squishy gut and love handles receive special attention from the cafe’s guests, Yone getting his own demanding share of attention from the usuals. The suit is tailored to make sure that it fits him well; the sleeves bulge from his bulky arms, the flabby rolls that encase Yone’s biceps outlined. Despite Yone’s top heavy figure, his rear still has a good amount of heft to it. His ass shakes and wobbles behind him, the two cushiony piles of lard stretching his pants. His thighs also shake and quiver from waddling around the store.

The fact that they joined at the same time helped further everyone’s enamorment with them, the duo practically being given almost always the same shifts like today. Which made sense with the two being a couple, Yone only applying due to Sett’s insistence. And because they both needed the money. 

The intrigue of hiring a duo had captured Renata’s attention, the boss herself bothering to care about the cafe due to the enjoyment of seeing what she considered people desperate enough to work at such a place and the people degenerate enough to stay and enjoy the humiliation. The two being in a relationship was meaningless, not with Human Resources preferring to protect the company rather than the individual. 

Kayn unlocks the door with the keys given to him and stands aside as he opens the door for the two to walk in. Individually of course, the doorway not quite made with the expectation of two large men entering together. Sett ducks slightly, his ears scraping against the top of the door otherwise. Yone feels the sides of his gut brush against the door, his face always turning a faint shade of blush like every day he starts his shift. Kayn flips the sign to open before closing back the door so as to avoid a draft. 

Next to the other two, Kayn is far more plain. Standing at an unassuming height of just a couple inches above average. The most striking feature about him is the scar on his left eye. A feature which adds to his edgy, bad boy vibe and charm that attracts a different clientele compared to Sett and Yone. Though the two’s clientele have begun to rub off on Kayn, the longer working employee having gained a bit of heft from all the food offered to him. Far from fat, his stomach is only a small beginner’s belly. The extra food coupled with Kayn’s usual workout routine now leaves him with a slight bit of both musculature and pudge. Which the cafe’s usuals enjoy with them having another one to poke and prod and feel up. 

Sett is the first of the two to notice the stockpiled food on the counter. “Oh hey, it’s clean out day,” Walking side by side with Yone, he pats his boyfriend on his doughy back with what would usually be an infectious grin if not for the only other men being the grumpy Kayn and stoic Yone.

“You wouldn’t stop mentioning it during our entire day off,” Like the rest of the employees, the trio only work four days of the week so as to not be full time and receive benefits; as such, Yone had specifically been given the day before and after today’s expected busy day. Yone waddles on over to go behind the counter, careful to properly maneuver and bump into the furniture with his large, sagging belly and wide hips. His stomach gurgles and grumbles, the fat male clearly a bit famished. Sett follows directly behind Yone; he grabs and fondles his belly, feeling the heft of it like he always does.

“I’ll prepare everything. You,” Kayn points at Yone. “Go sit on the main couch cause otherwise, you’ll eat everything before anyone gets here. Sett can help make sure everything is clean,” Kayn bossing the other around often, the other two do as told. Sett does his task with much more fervor than Yone, the obese butler grumbling as he does as instructed. Sett makes a show of his cleaning, an extra swish in his hips and ass with what should be simple movements. And flexing his huge biceps by lifting the largest pieces of furniture to dust them. 

The beginning of the day is pretty much dead, which is to be expected when the first day of the month is on a Wednesday. Despite not opening until noon, the day starts off with a slow unsteady trickle of customers coming and going. But the ones that do. make sure to take advantage of the day’s special offer always provided on the first of every month — a tradition that began shortly after Yone’s employment. 

Expired goods once being thrown away straight to garbage instead of being offered to food insecure people lest people believe Renata to be anything resembling a humanitarian, the business’ clientele allowed to do basically whatever they wanted to the staff — which isn’t far off from any other job offering customer service — allowed the guests to offer food to their staff. Food purchased only from the cafe, of course. But to help boost sales, and save what would usually expire, anything purchased came with the bonus of an extra pastry or small beverage, which would more often than not be fed to the usual victim, Yone. It takes approximately a little more than thirty minutes of being open before they receive any guests.

They receive two at once, the both of them clearly together. 

“Welcome! Come on in,” Sett greets them with a simple flex of his right arm, not willing to show off everything right away — especially when mostly everyone today is mostly going to be here for Yone. Despite the two being usuals, they still fawn and aww over Sett. Well, one does; the other goes straight to the counter to order and bother Kayn. Sett looks down as he feels a pair of hands on his chest. “Damn, you always do get handsy. Not that I mind,” Unable to get the best look because of his chest and with his guest barely coming up to his tits, he smirks at the bit of his customer. Sett allows himself to be manhandled. He holds back his laughter from hearing Kayn’s harsh remarks as he gets grabbed, the cashier’s demeaning nature a turn on for some people.

“If you’re going to harass someone, go bother the lardass on the couch,” Kayn hands two of the free pastries, but not without getting a pat on his small tummy. Which leaves him with a scalding red blush on his face.

Sett soon ushers his own guest to go bother Yone. “Seems like your friend is done. Go give Yone a good squeeze for me,” 

And so, Yone promptly ends up with both of them at the same time. The couch is thankfully wide enough to accommodate multiple people even with Yone sitting on it; Yone sits in the center while the two customers sit on each side of Yone. The two given their own bonus pastry as they await their order, they hold it out with an eager outstretched hand for Yone to eat. Their extra hands both rest on Yone’s great, big belly.

Money being money, Yone shifts into his usual work behavior. “It warms my heart to see such treasured guests once again. How may I help you?” Yone deepens his voice ever so slightly. He leans back into the couch, both of his arms outstretched on the couch behind both guests.

Both of his guests giggle to themselves, both of them used to Yone’s portrayal of the stoic, caring butler, especially when Yone basically does nothing throughout most of his shift besides eating whatever is handed to him. The two clearly together, they take turns offering their treat to the large man. Both of them rest against his cushiony figure, sinking into the sides of his flabby, rotund gut. Yone tries to take small bites of the confections — the blueberry muffin and cream cheese danish always some of his favorites — but the guests nearly shove the treats down his hungry maw, Yone forced to eat larger bites. The confections are some of his favorites, though everything is Yone’s favorite whenever it comes to whatever the guests feed him. 

“Ah, such ea-” Yone’s words are cut off with the final bite of the danish shoved into his mouth. Though he doesn’t object much or at all even, instead he greedily chomps down on the offered delectable treat with a bit of a flush to his face. And before he can properly fully enjoy the aftertaste of the danish, the rest of the blueberry muffin is similarly crammed into him. 

“Alright, here’s your food,” Carrying one server tray in his right hand, Kayn brings the two their food — though it’s more so Yone’s food considering everyone feeds him like a pet waiting for its treats which isn’t too far off from the truth. Small tables are situated at both ends of the couch. So Kayn places the food on each table, a decently sized bowl of soup on one table and a hefty sandwich on the other end plus a complimentary water with each serving. “Enjoy your food. Though it seems this hog is going to be the one enjoying it,” Kayn reaches forward to grab Yone’s gut. He pushes against the mass of blubber, seeing the way his hands sink into and squish Yone’s blubber. “Make sure to enjoy him as much as you can,” And with a final smack to the side of Yone’s gut, Kayn heads back to the counter to await whenever the next guest comes on such a slow day.

“Open wide,” Yone’s guests ask, no command of him. Careful to not waste a single bit of the food, one of them brings the sandwich to Yone’s mouth. He dutifully chomps down on the meal; the well toasted bread crunching as he chews on it, the warmed cured meats and cheeses seemingly melting in his mouth as the still cool spinach and tomatoes offer a bit of contrast. As he chews, his other guest wipes away the crumbs that dust his cherubic cheeks and chin. He promptly is given a spoonful of soup. A simple, warm tomato soup offered to him, Yone can taste the hint of rosemary and basil that compliments it. He can barely make out the distant grin coming from Kayn who made it exactly as Yone likes. The soup is also at just the right temperature so as to not burn his tongue. The two keep a steady tempo of feeding Yone, both of them clearly experienced at stuffing the store’s big porcine pet. Their turns of swapping are only interrupted when they bring their water to Yone and make him chug, forcing Yone to drink his fill. That and when Yone inevitably finished the sandwich first. Immediately after that, he’s promptly coerced into chugging the rest of the soup, the bowl brought and tipped to his lips while he leans his head back to eagerly devour it all. 

Yone accepts everything that’s handed to him, eager to please his two guests. He keeps on eating even when they order another soup and sandwich. He eats the extra pair of free sweets and the soup and sandwich afterwards. He eats it all without a single complaint until they stop offering him food. He allows them to rub his belly, the two of them squeezing and rubbing it as if it were both a stress ball and a good luck charm before they head out.

“Good job. Now you gotta last the rest of the shift,” Sett chuckles at Yone while he picks up the plates of food. He whistles to himself, aware that even if the day will be slow overall, it will inevitably pick up.

And pick up it does; it never gets as crazy as it does on the weekends, but the customers come and go in a steady stream. All of them come for the big main attraction, Yone. The food at the cafe rather decent, everyone at least buys one thing to pawn off to Yone, the dedicated fat butler eating every single bite offered to him. He even gets a whole group at once not too far off from closing, a whole gaggle of men greedily grabbing and feeding Yone as much as he eats. Which is all of it, the plump, fat Yone taking everything offered to him. Yone’s eyes droop throughout his shift with more and more food beginning to settle inside him. But he continues to lazily nod along to whatever is said to him, Yone also beginning to speak less and less as his mind starts to focus more on the stuffed nature of his gut. He lazily opens his mouth to every forkful and spoonful of what is given to him. His stomach loses its gelatinous and saggy nature, the ball of fat growing firmer with less give to it from all the food. And his guests love it, playing and rubbing his gut. Every single pair of hands seem to find their way to Yone’s gut, his skin slowly peeking more throughout his shirt as his shift goes by.

Thankfully for Yone, the very last hour of the day has them seeing no customers, Yone able to catch his breath after the stream of guests. His gut furiously churns with so much stuffed inside him; the sound seems to reverberate in his brain, his upset belly refusing to go unheard of. Yone simply remains seated in his couch, waiting for a possible last minute guest that never comes.

And as soon as the clock hits closing time, Kayn flips the sign over to ‘closed’. After locking the door, he heads back to the counter/kitchen to clean up. Sett cleans and organizes the front of the store. Meanwhile, Yone remains seated on his fat ass, a mess of groans now that all the guests are gone. He reaches down to whatever bit of his gut he can reach. So bloated, the button had come undone some time ago by most likely one of the several many guests who’d stuffed him.

Yone is fully reclined into the back of the couch. Having not moved at all throughout his entire shift, the couch has a large Yone-sized indent in the very center. The frame sags and bends down its center from his weight. His large gut rests atop his cushiony thighs. The exposed mass of blubber making up his stomach churns and gurgles from all the food stuffed and crammed into him. His stomach is far more taut than it usually is. The popped bottom few buttons of his shirt leave the lower half skin of his bloated belly exposed, the lower bits of flab escaping and sagging down the gaps of fabric; it also shows off his happy trail, the small trail of body hair thickening and widening the further it goes down his gut. Yone is nearly a groaning mess. He attempts to assuage the bubbling discomfort in his gut by rubbing his distended tummy. He reaches down as far as he can get, his hands only really able to reach the upper echelon of blubber above his cavernous navel.

“You feeling full yet, Yone?” Yone groans as Sett pats his engorged stomach. 

"Ughhh," Yone groans in response to Sett's question before letting out a small burp. "Soo full…" He remains seated on the wide couch, refusing to budge even an inch so as to not upset his tummy. His gut furiously makes its stuffed state known, his taxed belly churning and bubbling to do its best to digest the several pounds of food Yone ate during his shift; his belly refuses for its complaints to go unheard, Yone unabashedly groaning and wincing now with no guests present. He has his eyes closed.

And then he hears noise in the kitchen, the blender whirring to life as it’s put to work.

Kayn soon comes out behind the counter with a nearly full blender in his hand. And a makeshift funnel in the other.

Yone can feel his stomach churning just from him looking at the oh so full container of liquid coming his way. Yet he can’t get up, his oh so full belly making it difficult for him to do so.

“And here we have the last bit of leftovers,” Kayn has his usual shit eating grin on his face as he towers over the seated Yone. “Made sure to save some to make a special little shake for you,” Kayn delicately presses his fingers against the upper bit of Yone’s gut.

Yone tries his best to squirm away but his churning gut refuses to let him budge without a modicum of pain. Doing his best to look at Sett, he only sees his boyfriend happily grinning at the sight. Sett also has his phone pulled out, clearly recording the whole situation. That only turns Yone on, the thought of others seeing him like this-. He moans before he can finish that thought.

“You know damn well he approves of this. Now, open up,” Kayn smiles as Yone doesn’t even put up a fight, the butterball always happy to eat now, and think later. Kayn places the funnel in Yone’s mouth. Despite wishing to cram more food in his gut, Kayn does, at the least, make sure to not put any pressure on Yone while he kneels on the couch to fill him up. Kayn tips the end of the blender. The thick shake seems to slowly trickle down the funnel, Kayn never once losing his smile.

Yone accepts and awaits his fate. He has his eyes closed. The viscous, cloyingly sweet shake gushes down Yone’s funnel, the poor overstuffed man forced to accept his fat as he struggles to chug it all. He focuses on only drinking all of the shake and not his churning, gurgling bomb for a stomach that seems to kick and punch itself frown how much food Yone can and loves to put away. Each desperate, haggard gulp of shake that Yone takes is only replaced by more and more of the shake awaiting him, begging him to eat it all and satisfy the bit of his brain that craved to eat and stuff himself even more. Especially when he has an obedient audience of two in front of him. Kayn is unrelenting with the flow, but the rapid speed at which he pours the shake — and the rapid pace at which Yone devours it all — helps to make it not last too long. Soon enough, Yone finds the funnel pulled out of his mouth, the excruciating task of guzzling the entire blender worth of shake over as quickly as it began. 

“Damn,” Is all Kayn can utter upon seeing just how fast and obediently Yone put it all away. Turning to look at the now done recording Sett, all he gets is a thumbs up and a grin, Sett well aware of Yone’s submissive nature when it comes to food. Yone is a mess of huffs; he can only really take in quick yet deep gulps of air to try and hopefully wait out the pain of his entire stomach aching.

“You poor thing,” Sett joining the two, he truly towers over the seated, massive Yone. Yone averts his gaze, his face flushed. “Your fatass must be emaciated to be able to eat all of that,” Sett taunts Yone, the stuffed man turning more furiously red.

Kayn’s eyes widen slightly upon Yone’s continued reactions, his behavior suddenly painfully obvious to him. “And here I thought you had a bit more self-respect,” Kayn smiles down on Yone. “But you’re nothing more than a submissive glutton,” Kayn leans forward and places a slight amount of pressure on Yone who can do nothing else but whimper. “I’ll make sure to remember that for the future,” Kayn gives Yone a wink. He also goes back to his corner of the store to clean up.  But not before giving Yone a small appreciative pat on his overstuffed tummy.

Sett does the same, the two working quickly to finish everything before they get a furious work email about overtime not being a thing for them. 

Yone just remains seated, trying his best to digest everything. He stays in his spot on the couch even when Kayn finishes and gives him a couple headpats before heading out. Yone waits for Sett, his boyfriend not having much left to clean.

And as soon as Sett finishes cleaning up he walks on over to Yone. Clearly unaffected by the large binges having taken place today, Sett retains every ounce of powerful muscle on his frame. "Let's get you home, big guy," Sett leans over to help him up, bringing a powerful bicep to help him up. He peels Yone up off of the couch. And Yone quickly uses Sett's body to lean on. His big gut sloshes and sways with his heavy step. His entire frame jiggles and wobbles from the effort of waddling to maneuver such wide, fat thighs. One step after the other, Yone is a mess of groans, the movement clearly upsetting his gut. A gut that makes its stuffed state known not only to Yone but to Sett as well, the churning of his stomach extremely loud. 

"Hang in there," Sett rests a now ungloved hand on Yone's gut, Sett having removed his gloves immediately after work. After slowly easing Yone through the doorway, in which Yone has to walk through sideways. Both his ass and gut graze against the sides of it. The building armed and locked and secured, Sett continues helping Yone walk with such a full gut. 

"I-I…" Yone manages to groan out while he uncomfortably walks despite so much food crammed into him. His porcine face creates a deepened frown from his doughy jowls. 

Sett grins as he helps Yone along; Sett grabs and pinches Yone's blubbery rolls. “Come on, we’re on after work hours now. Just say what's on your mind, or your gut in your case ‘cause that seems to do most of your thinking. Not that I mind, big fella,” Sett nimbly positions himself to stand in front of Yone. Leaning down, he uses one hand to help lift up Yone’s gut; his other hand reaches all the way down to Yone’s hand, a big heaping of Yone’s fat ass gripped. Sett leans down to kiss Yone, the much fatter man doing his best to lean into the embrace, even as Sett eventually breaks apart with a deep breath.

"I'm… kinda hungry… again…" Yone whines out. He leans a bit more of his crushing weight against Sett, Sett the only one able to truly support and help him. 

"Oh, don't you worry about that," Yone squirms under Sett's patting of his gut. "I'll make sure to properly fill that tank of yours, cause damn you can put away food," Sett picks up the pace.

Yone hums in agreement. Always so difficult to feel absolutely, completely stuffed, his current pretty bloated sensation feels nice but not quite enough. He takes careful steps to follow Sett's lead, stomach already churning to make room for extra food, the two always taking advantage of the job's free food to stuff him silly and plan to continue and take advantage of.

[graylinesspam]

Attending galas was one of the bigger perks of joining the Wayne family in Selina's opinion. The children were never so enthused as she was, but that mattered little to her. Selina was a woman who loved to be seen.

Even and especially if that meant being draped over the arm of a handsome man. She had always believed that the natural counterpart to stealing was flaunting. Why have what others cannot envy?

So as the boys tugged their ties and bemoaned their state of dress Selina was primping. Smoothing her hands down the length of her white satin bodice. The gala tonight was sea themed so she'd had Bruce commission something special for her. It was a faithful recreation of Christian Dior's 1949 dress Junon. The large scalloped skirt details that would have looked very tacky in any other style shined just the way that Dior had designed them to with over three thousand hand sown sequins. Over every white petal curve blue and white sparkles caught the light like drops of water.

She'd had her hair jelled into finger waves; little black curls left plastered to her forehead. She was only waiting for Bruce to deliver her jewelry.

"Any idea what he's picked out?" Selina asked Dick as he leaned against the wall beside her mirror.

"something extravagant I'm sure" he sighed

Selina and Bruce had a game they played, where he picked out her jewelry and she always complained that it was too plain. Selina was the kind of woman that would always be dripping in diamonds if she could. And Bruce while rich had old fashioned tastes.

"well I hope that he'll do better than a string of pearls, I can't let every old biddy in the building out do me in that respect."

Dick cast an uncomfortable look to Barbara, his date, who Selina could see through the mirror was pulling long white opera gloves on.

"The Waynes don't wear pearls." Barbara corrected while she ran a hand over the chain of sapphires that sat snug round her neck.

Selina paused as she was putting away her lipgloss. "oh, I see. Well, all the better. everyone else will be wearing pearls, and when I won't be, it'll be easier to show them up."

Bruce appeared then at the top of the stairs in his dark blue suit A White satin box in hand. Everyone stood back as he descended the stairs and held the long rectangular box out before him.

He lifted the lid and revealed the necklace. It was sizable. Three long rows of rectangular cut diamonds encased in silver made up a two finger wide chain that plummeted low and embraced a massive blue diamond, like to hands cradling it gently with softly curling fingers.

The entire setting was breathtaking but not so much as the center diamond that was almost as large as Selina's palm. Her eyes sparkled at the sight of such an impressive stone.

When Bruce secured the heavy thing around her neck she couldn't believe how well it all went together. The light muted color of the diamond made it somehow less overpowering to the outfit than a sapphire of similar size would have been. But it shined with the dress as did her gelled hair and shiny lips. It was utterly perfect.

"No earrings to go with it?" She teased instead of admitting defeat.

"what earrings could possibly compare?" Bruce replied.

outfit under the cut

listen are these wildly out of the box items to style together? yes, but Selina is a go big or go home kinda gal and I think this fits her literally to a T.

[ghostlykestrel525]

the aforementioned Doodling

as mentioned in this post i have in fact drawn a couple of idiots. it is a lazy(ish) pencil sketch, i am very unskilled at art, and apparently masculine hairstyles are an absolute nightmare but y'know i felt like it, i tried, i'm going to throw it on here because honestly? why not.

while i'm rambling yes, Phantom's nails are painted in fairness i think they both would but Mare probably bites his so they're not anywhere near as cleanly perfect as Phantom's are (and god forbid the red devil chip one, he'd be so dramatic about it and you can't convince me otherwise) no, i'm not entirely sure where the ballet-dancer-stance he's in came from but it fits somehow??? for some reason Mare just gives off the alt-punk-metal kinda thing. also? gloves. specifically like biker style fingerless ones idk if you can see 'em clearly. so yes. i drew the gremlins :D

[libbys-braincell-loss]

I WANTED TO SHOWCASE SOME OF MY HEADCANONS AND EXPLANATIONS BEHIND DESIGN ELEMENTS VIA SMALL SKETCHES BUT SINCE IM LAZY AND EEPY AND BUSY I WILL JUST LIST THEM HERE

Basically this is an au where pretty much everything is the same except Beeg and Eggdog are like. actual children and do child things (as well as their usual shenanigans), and smg4 and smg3 are basically their parents, but seeing as they are smg4 and smg3 they aren't quite the best at parenting, seeing as (technically) they are single dads (despite hanging out so much beeg and eggdog see each other as siblings at this point) but they try their best and thats all that matters

Eggdog isn't fully in on the dark/evil/emo aesthetic SMG3 is into, but he does like some of the styles occasionally and so thats why he has the signature SMG3 skull as his vest buttons and some dark purple

Eggdog's vest bares a striking resemblance to SMG3's vest he wears in WOTFI 2023, cuz it looks neat

I made Beeg look more like a stylized young version of SMG4, the fit is mostly the same except he doesn't have gloves (his actual design doesnt have gloves either) and i have him a bandana and a long sleeved shirt under his short sleeved shirt

On Beeg's actual design, for some reason one of his arms overlaps an overalls strap? I tried to pay homage to that by making that overall strap hang off his shoulder instead of... phasing through his arm

SMG3 tells Eggdog he loves him so much and Eggdog has become a very affectionate person because of it

SMG4 doesn't often tell Beeg that he loves him that much (not that he doesn't love him, its just he's not big on verbal affection either, like Beeg) which probably affects Beeg a bit to make him very much less affectionate; the two will have moments though

Eggdog got his nails painted black by SMG3! SMG3 wanted to try painting his own nails black and Eggdog thought it looked neat so he got his nails painted too (SMG3's nails are hidden by his gloves, slightly out of embarrassment, but Eggdog loves his nails)

Beeg sometimes picks fights with other kids and other random people and memes. The lil man is reckless as all hell. Thats why he has tears in his overalls and he has bandages on him here and there

Eggdog is actually part dog in this design, i couldn't just not have him be a dog (ig i kind of made him into a dog-human hybrid? me when i accidentally project my own species from my own fictional world into a fictional world that doesn't belong to me:)

I gave Beeg a bandana! No reason, i usually draw SMG4 and SMG3 in turtlenecks and i could have done a turtleneck for Beeg, but i have seen other peoples interpretations of SMG4 have a bandana too and i REALLY like it so i gave Beeg a big bandana around his neck. Plus i think it makes him cuter

Eggdog's top hat is essential. He loves being a lil dapper feller

The hat that Beeg wears onscreen looks more like a baseball cap than a Mario cap, so i made it a baseball cap -- SMG4 shoddily made the SMG4 patch for the baseball cap and somehow managed to attach it together and gave it to Beeg as a gift. Beeg will never admit he loves it

I gave Eggdog red eyes to make him look more related to SMG3

Beeg's eyes are blue just like SMG4's as well

There is no real significance behind Eggdog's watch. I just think it makes him look cooler

Eggdog has freckles on his face! cuz eggdog has whiskers, which kinda looks like freckles in some way, plus it makes him look more like a cutie

I gave Beeg some freckles too, but they are like those baby freckles that vanish as he gets older

The two treat each other as siblings. Beeg acts like the older sibling but is actually younger lol

Beeg has definitely accidentally called SMG3 dad at least one, and Eggdog also has definitely accidentally called SMG4 dad too (SMG4 and SMG3 are around each other so much while they are around, its hard not to at this point)

Beeg definitely is one of those rebellious kids who has tried to run away from home at least once (and by run away from home he means packing some snacks and hiding behind SMG3's coffee shop and wait for SMG4 to feel bad and start looking for him, or until he gets hungry for dinner and comes back to the castle)

Eggdog can't stand being away from home, or being home alone and not knowing where SMG3 is, but he can party just fine at home alone if he knows SMG3 is safe and will come home at some point

Beeg def seeks attention a lot

Eggdog sometimes gets tired of Beeg's bs and will occasionally snap at him about it, but very rarely, usually he politely tries to cooperate with him

SMG4 and SMG3 are not the most qualified parents out there, but they love Beeg and Eggdog so damn much and will do anything in their power to keep their kiddos alive

...Should I even call this an AU? Cuz nothing really changes, its just Beeg and Eggdog looking different and being treated like actual children,,

so. i created humanoid designs for beeg smg4 and eggdog ,,

im trying to get better at drawing little kids and make them look like. kids

also tried something a lil bit different with the rendering style, not that you'll notice

they are such small babies i love them

the stepbrothers of all time

notes below:

was gonna draw other sketches of beeg and eggdog interacting with smg4 and smg3 and doing lil shenanigans together but. tired

[aalbedo]

tartaglia x injured!reader

request: Hello! How about scenario where character offers help to injured!gn!reader, who is very mistrustful of and reluctant to accept it? I smh love the dynamic "no I don't want your help or anything to do with you but I don't really have a choice". And yeah, I feel like Tartaglia fits it well though you may choose whoever you feel like T v T

format: two-parter (part two here)

ship: tartaglia x reader

tags: reader is the traveler-ish (a completely separate character from aether and lumine, but still the traveler, does that make sense?)

warnings: blood, mildly graphic depiction of injury, stitches and needles

words: 1951

notes: this request awoke something in me, i feel like i could’ve written an entire 70k words fic on this if i had the energy. im sorry anon but i kinda went off the rails with this one hfjdkhfd i hope you still enjoy it. also yeah the header is mildly fucked up because i don’t have the energy to find a better png ok.

You fell to the ground, placing your hands right in a small puddle of your own blood, while a ruin hunter laid on the ground, defeated. Your legs had given in, as a sharp pain hit you through your entire left thigh. There was a large cut on your pants, through which you could see a long, bloody, wound on your skin left by the mechanical monstrosity. It wasn’t too deep, but damn if it hurt.

You squeezed your eyes closed, and let out a loud groan. Reaching a hand into your bag, you pulled out the antiseptic solution you always brought with you, and found out that the bottle was empty. You rummaged more through the bag, looking for a numbing cream, an analgesic potion, even just a remnant of a bandage, anything that could help. Nothing.

Panic started settling in your chest, you were completely alone, in the middle of Lisha, where Hilichurls could attack you at any moment, and you were injured just enough that you wouldn’t be able to walk, let alone run away or even fight. You laid down with your back to the ground and covered your face with your hands, as your palms suffocated another loud groan.

You would have to crawl all the way back to the city, or until you found someone willing to help you before fainting from the slow, but consistent, loss of blood. Or worse, dying from shock.

Suddenly, you heard a voice in the distance yell “hey!” Then a second time, with a clearly worried tone in their voice. The pain in your leg made it almost impossible for you to focus on recognizing who that voice belonged to, but it didn’t matter - you were about to finally get some help. You kept your eyes closed as you raised a hand and waved it, showing whoever your savior was where you were.

As you didn’t move from the ground, you heard steps, quickly getting closer to you, until you could feel the presence of someone right above you.

“Oh thank the Archons, I’m completely out of-” you opened your eyes and were met with two bright blue irises staring into yours, and all of the sudden you recognized the voice from before.

“Did that ruin hunter hit you?” Tartaglia was perched right next to your injured leg, already starting to open a backpack that you didn’t recognize as his. He moved his eyes to your thigh and reached out a hand towards it. You swiftly moved the leg away from him, forgetting that it would make it hurt even more, and whimpered when the pain grew.

“I don’t want help from a Harbinger, least of all you” you spat out as you slowly sat up and used your hands to back away from him.

“Stop moving, or you’ll make it worse,” he said plainly as he stood up and followed you, while you kept backing away ignoring the pain through your leg.

“I’ll lose a leg before I let the fatui help me.”

“Alright then, I guess I’ll just watch you crawl all the way back to the Harbor.” He crossed his arms. Oh, he thought he was being funny?

You kept backing away with your arms, until you felt something hard hit your back. A rather large rock was blocking your way, and you would have to crawl around it, and the young man laughed, slowly walking towards you as he took his gloves off and put them in a pocket. You tried moving sideways, but he was quick to crouch down and grab you by the ankle, the one on the injured side, right when you moved.

You inhaled and closed your eyes as a sharp pain shot through your leg. “Are you out of your mind? That hurt!”

He kept your ankle pinned to the ground. “Don’t move,” he ordered. He used his free hand to carefully move the ripped fabric of your clothes out of the way, and get a better look of your wound. You started to feel lightheaded as you saw him tear the fabric further.

You felt some sort of damp cloth on your skin,figuring it was being used to clean the blood off your injury. Tartaglia was being so careful that you could barely feel it, it seemed like he had done this a million times before. You closed your eyes, placing a hand over them, and tilted your head forward, suddenly feeling overcome with dizziness.

“You’re losing a lot of blood. If you hadn’t moved, it would not be this bad right n-” he interrupted himself and he called your name. “You still with me?”

“Mh- huh-uh” you started feeling uneasy. You opened your eyes slightly and caught a glimpse of the wound and immediately looked away. So much blood.

“Stay awake, don’t close your eyes again.” You heard a ruffling of fabric, the damp cloth wasn’t on your skin anymore. “Tell me about the Archons.”

“What?”

“Tell me all of the Archons’ names and their elements,” he repeated. You couldn’t figure out why he wanted you to tell him, but you followed his order, keeping your eyes away from your wound, and instead fixating on the grass beneath you. You were feeling too dizzy to protest, your only choice was to trust him, despite all of your instincts yelling at you to get away from him.

“Okay, there’s... Barbatos, god of Anemo.” You heard more fabric rustling coming from him, but you refused to look at what he was doing.

“Yes, then?”

The dizziness was still overwhelming, but you managed to keep talking, “Morax, god of Geo.” Clinking of glass, probably bottles. “Tsaritsa, goddess of Cryo.”

“Mh-mh.” He sounded… focused. What was he doing?

“Baal, goddess of- Fuck!” The skin around the wound started burning, and so did the wound itself. You bit your lip hard and groaned as the burning kept going on and on, your skin was itching and for a split second it was almost unbearable. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Antiseptic potion,” he replied plainly. “I had to find a way to distract you or you wouldn’t have let me use it.”

“Bastard.” Your skin kept burning, but you slowly got used to the pain as you watched the clear potion sizzling over your still open wound.

He barked a laugh, “I’m trying to help you over here, you’re very welcome.”

You looked at his hands as he skillfully kept cleaning your wound, now there was way less blood coming out and you were starting to feel slightly more at easy. He lifted his head and looked right into your eyes.

“It’s not too deep, but it would probably be better if I stitched it.”

“You sound like you’ve done this before.”

“Of course I have, you think these healed themselves?” he asked, pointing at the seemingly long scar that started from the base of his neck and went down under his shirt. “At some point you have to learn how to stitch them up yourself.”

You exhaled deeply, still keeping your eyes on his. You realized that his irises resembled the starconches you had seen laid in the sand of Yaoguang Shoal’s beaches.

“Do you have an anaesthetic something to make the stitching hurt less, at least?”

He looked into the bag, moving things around, as if he had no idea what was actually inside the backpack. So it definitely wasn’t his.

He shook his head, pursing his lips slightly. “No, sorry.”

“It’s…” you pondered over it. You would probably have to go all the way to Bubu pharmacy to get an anaesthetic, and on the way there you might lose even more blood. “It’s okay.”

From his backpack, that you hadn’t realized was laid on the ground by your feet, he pulled out a small tin box, and from the box he took out an interestingly shaped needle, recurved like a crescent moon, then a pair of tweezers and a thread so thin you could barely see it.

Just by looking at the needle, you felt uneasy again. “Are you sure we can’t go to the Harbour and get help there?”

“We can do that, if that’s what you prefer, but I would have to carry you - I doubt you could walk at all right now.”

Somehow, the embarrassment of other people seeing you being carried, bridal style, by Tartaglia was stronger than any pain you might have to go through to get these stitches done.

“Fuck it, do it. But be quick.”

“I will try my best,” he said, and his tone sounded genuine to you. You still couldn’t believe you were trusting him like this, after everything he had done to you. “Try to think about something else, focus on anything but the stitches, it’ll hurt less.” He passed the thread through the needle’s hole with surprising skill.

“Okay, uh-” you watched him hover the needle over your skin, probably thinking about the fastest and least painful way to do the job. You moved your gaze from the open would to look at his face, and his expression seemed calm enough to put you somewhat at ease.

His lips were slightly parted and you noticed that he was biting his own tongue, the amount of focus he was putting into helping you was so intriguing to you, you could have never had imagined that he would be so… caring. At least not to you.

You suddenly felt the needle prick through your skin and you whimpered slightly. “Sorry,” he quickly said, before using the tweezers to make the needle pass through your skin and grab it again on the other end.

He repeated the process a few times, slowly pulling the thread every now and then to make the stitch tighter. You observed him the entire time, his eyes quickly darting from one spot to the other, his nose and mouth breathing at a steady pace. You saw him scrunch up his nose a few times, probably to release tension.

Each stitch hurt, you could feel the entire needle pass through your skin and come out again every single time, but you didn’t protest at all, and instead focused on counting the freckles on Tartaglia’s nose bridge, watching the muscles under his skin move every time he swallowed, and carding your fingers through the grass, accidentally ripping some every now and then.

“Done,” you heard him say in an unexpectedly cheerful tone. “I have some bandages, but I don’t think they’re enough for this large of a cut. Though, now that it’s stitched up, it’s probably safe for you to move, and I can help you get to the Harbor where you can buy some numbing potion and bandages.”

You looked down at the wound, and to your relief the stitches looked like they would hold together pretty well. “Sure, I think I can hop for a while, if you hold me.”

He picked up both his and your bag, putting them over his shoulder, then reached out a hand towards you and you realized just how bloody his hands were, as well as his clothes. You grabbed it with your own bloody hand and slowly stood up, placing your weight on the healthy leg. He placed your arm around his shoulders and put his own behind your back, holding you up.

“Ready to go?”

“Mh-mh.” You started walking in the direction of the Harbor, hopping on one leg while Tartaglia held you up.

“Whose backpack is that?” you tried asking.

“Honestly? No idea.”

“What were you doing here in Lisha, anyway?”

“Just some Fatui business, don’t worry about it,” he quickly dismissed your question.

“Always so secretive.”

[i-write-boop-spoops]

The kind of man you deserve - Guzma x F!Reader (Smut)

Guzma tries and fails to show you a classy, romantic evening for your first anniversary as a couple, but it doesn’t quite go as planned. Not to worry though, it has a happy ending, literally.

Plot with p0rn basically. ‘~~~’ indicates that the smut is about to begin, so you can read until then if you’re not comfortable, or skip straight to it if you’re a thirsty bitch, I won’t judge either way. 

Nothing too spicy, contains cunnilingus, vaginal fingering and soft love-making. Nearly 4000 words!

Enjoy!

A whole year.

One whole year.

You’ve been together for a whole year. He still can’t quite fathom it, why would such a sweet thing like you stay with him for this lomg, let alone even say yes to go out with him?

Your friends still don’t like him, your parents hate him, he is perpetually afraid their words will get to you and you’ll finally realise he’s not worth your time. He’s trying his best to prove them wrong, but a part of him agrees.

He’s never been in love before, never had a relationship that lasted longer than a couple drinks and a few fucks. So to actually be here, a whole three-sixty-five days later, as your man, your one and only, it’s unbelievable. He hopes it ain’t a dream, that would crush him. 

So here he is, with his hair slicked back, in a stuffy rented tux, brandishing a bouquet of roses while he waits on the front steps of the HQ for you to arrive.

Hopefully he resembles the kind of man he thinks you deserve.

He’s really whipped the grunts into shape today, made something decent out of them, kinda like how you made something decent outta him. They’ve cleaned out the dining room, somehow managing to put together a pretty okay, even romantic, looking table setup, with candles and fancy dishware and all. One grunt has made up a Spotify playlist for him ro use, even let him borrow their high-quality speaker for the night. He’s got the ones who can cook in the kitchen, whipping up something good, but simple, and maybe a little cliché, some spaghetti and meatballs and chocolate mousse.

It’s no Sushi High Roller, but he hopes you can look past it.

His palms are clammy, his heart starts to pound as he sees the taxi roll cautiously into Po Town, you’re lucky to have one that’d drop you inside the walls. He takes a deep breath as the car pulls up to the Shady House, and he can see your earring glimmer in the flickering streetlight.

He’s rendered breathless as you step out of the taxi, you look so beautiful…

Your hair is done in an elegant style, your lips painted in a shade of red that compliments your skin. Delicate jewellery cuffs your wrists and laces around your neck, your eyeshadow shimmers and accentuates the sparkle in your eyes.  Your dark-blue evening gown has a sweetheart neckline and fits you like a glove, it swishes against the pavement as you stand up. You look like a movie-star, he feels even more unworthy to even just be in your vicinity than he usually does.

“Wow… you look fucking hot”

Smooth Guzma, real smooth, he thinks to himself, he has his girl looking so exquisite and that’s how he compliments her?! He’s cringing internally, he is not good at this.

“You don’t look half-bad yourself” you say with a giggle, closing the taxi door behind you. He scrambles down the steps to greet you, almost tripping as he does so. You chuckle at him, and he feels like a clown.

“Um, hey baby, happy anniversary” he mumbles, too anxious to catch your gaze. “Happy anniversary Guzma” you say lightly, happily, as you step closer to him. Your perfume tickles his nose, it’s zesty and fresh, like a lemon or something.

You have this cute little smile on your face, arceus, he really needs to kiss you. His hand comes to gently cup your cheek, your lids fall close and your lips pucker to accept his kiss. He wants to touch your waist, bring you closer, but his other hand is tightly clasped around the roses.

Oh shit! The roses!

“These are for you” he blurts out as he shoves the bouquet in your face. You look bewildered for a moment, but then you grin, taking them from him and inhaling their lush scent. “These smell so good, thank you so much”

Why are you thanking him? He should be thanking you for not immediately leaving.

“Shall we go inside?” he asks in a sheepish manner, offering his arm to you. You take it eagerly. “We shall.”

The night is still young, he still has time to make tonight a somewhat decent celebration of your love. He knows you’ll be surprised by what they’ve done to the house, or at least the dining room and hallway.

You walk up the steps together, and he knocks on the door three times, expecting two grunts to open them for you. He waits for a moment, then another, then another, getting increasingly annoyed.

“Did you forget your keys?” you ask. He shakes his head. “Nah, the grunts were suppose’ta open the door when I knocked”

He knocks again, nothing, harder this time, nothing, once more, nothing. His temper was getting the better of him,

“You better fucking open this door right now or I swear-”

Grunts curse loudly as they scramble, he can hear a chair fall over inside. He looks at you, your expression reads as amused. You must think he’s a fool.

The doors finally swing open, frightened grunts refuse to make eye contact with him as he leads you inside. He’ll deal with them at a later date, right now, he’s focused on giving you a romantic night.

“Oh wow…! You guys really cleaned this place up!” you exclaim, wide-eyed as you look around. It’s true, the hallway actually looks good. Carpet vacuumed, furniture arranged, clutter removed. With the candles and the flower vases, and if you ignore the fallen over chair and the paint splatters, it almost looks like a fancy hotel.

He grins proudly, maybe he’d go easy on the door grunts, after all, they helped out with the clean-up. “All for you baby,” he muses, “Gotta show the woman I love some class every now and then, right?”

 You smile a gorgeous, twinkling smile at him, your eyes full of gentle gratitude. His heart can’t help but sing at the sight, he mirrors your expression, thankful to have you. He leads you into the dining room, certain from your reaction to the hallway that you’ll love this.

The room is bathed in gentle candlelight, soft music plays in the background. A circular table stands in the middle of the floor, cloaked in a white-bedsheet-turned-tablecloth, and flanked by ornate, but mismatched chairs. Elegant cutlery, dishware and flutes sit atop it, a rusty bucket full of ice and champagne bottles are sat beside it. The floor is littered in rose petals, the smell of garlic and simmered sauces is thick in the air.

“Arceus! This is fantastic!” you blurt, turning to him with eyes brimming with wonder. “Thank you so much, Guz!”

He chuckles tenderly at you, and gingerly kisses your lips. You gladly reciprocate, your mouth feels so soft against his, it makes him smile like an idiot.

“Yo Boss! Is the missus ready for some fucking spaghetti?!”

He curses internally as the grunt’s yell, he shoots daggers at them as they slink away. You just giggle cutely. He’s glad you’re so accepting.

“I am ready for fucking and spaghetti actually” you joke as he leads you to the dinner table. “Oh, there’s plenty of both of those coming up later” he says with a wink whilst pulling out your chair. You sit down, and he pushes you in.

He takes his seat across from you, it creaks a little as he does so. He looks down to find a large crack along one leg.

Did they seriously give him the bad chair?

He notices your concerned face and he attempts, and fails, at a reassuring grin. “Hey babe, you want some bubbly?” he asks, hopefully changing the topic of your attention. You smile and nod, he reaches into the bucket next to him.

“Oh shit, that’s cold” he hisses through gritted teeth as he grasps the bottle, the green glass drips with condensation. He grabs a napkin off the table to wipe it down.

“This is the good stuff, from Kalos and all” he says rather proudly, fiddling with the golden foil surrounding the top. “All champagne comes from Kalos, dummy” you remark in an amused yet tender manner. “Oh, shit yeah” he mumbles with a sheepish chuckle. “Good thing I have you around, cuz’ I don’t know shit about this kind of stuff”

The way you giggle has him mesmerized, you’re so cute sometimes it’s criminal.

He finally manages to pull off the foil, and the cork too, the fizz sprays out like a fountain, landing all over the table, and…

Right down the middle of your expensive-looking dress.

“Oh,” you say dryly. “I thought an eruption like that was supposed to happen later.”

“Oh fuck, boo, lemme get that for you” he splutters, getting up out of his seat. His foot catches on the tablecloth and the dishware come crashing down on the floor. He slips and falls back on his chair, only for it to break beneath him. The champagne bottle falls to the ground, but somehow doesn’t break, instead it rolls away, a trail of fizzing foam in its wake.

As he hits the floor, his leg kicks out and knocks over the ice bucket. The cubes and water spill out across the wooden planks, just as two grunts carrying your meal enter the room. Before he can even warn them, they slip, and the plates go flying.

There’s a crashing sound, a clanking noise, a scream.

He’s covered in spaghetti, you’re covered in champagne, from the corner of his eye he can see a grunt in the kitchen somehow already covered in chocolate mousse. His ass hurts from the impact, wood is splintered all over the place, broken glass and crockery is scattered across the ground.

This would’ve been funny if it wasn’t so tragic.

You stand up as if you’re about to rush over to him.

He stands up, looks around, and leaves. You call for him in his wake.

The air is refreshingly cool against his skin, his body is so hot from panic and distress that he starts pulling at his tie and unbuttoning his collar. He scoops a meatball off his head and throws it into the nearby bushes, with the sauce stains on his shirt and blazer, he’s never gonna get that deposit back.

Tears sting at the inner corner of his eyes, he sighs as he sits down on the steps. He can’t even put together a simple dinner date for you. Damn, why did he ever try think he could be the kind of man you deserve?!

“Guzma…?”

Your voice is so soft, so careful, he wonders if you’re going to break up with him gently. You were always so reasonable to him, he really doesn’t deserve you.

He keeps his head low, not turning to greet you, you’re too good to witness his broken expression.

Your dress swishes as you walk down the steps, there’s a distinct dark patch that goes all the way down your front. He quickly wipes away his tears with his thumbs, he prays he does so discretely. You sit down next to him, you feel warm and inviting but he doesn’t want to lean into you out of fear of rejection.

He shivers as you hand delicately comes to rest on his shoulder, he can see you smile lovingly at him.

Oh, he doesn’t deserve you, not one bit.

 “Are the grunts okay?” he asks in a shaking tone. You nod, “Fit as a fiddle, just a bit spooked.”

“That’s good…” he trails off in a sigh, looking out into the night. It’s not often that Po Town has clear skies, he can see a sliver of a moon hidden between the stars.

“It’s a beautiful night,” you say as your hand slips off his shoulder. He’s saddened for a moment, but then your hand comes to hold his. He takes it easily, it fits perfectly in his hold. “I suppose…” he mumbles.

“I know you tried really hard tonight and I really appreciate that, and I’m sorry it didn’t work out.” You begin, squeezing his hand gently. He doesn’t let you finish.

“I couldn’t even give you a fucking spaghetti dinner, any bozo with a brain could do that!” he grumbles. “I just... I just wish I could be the kind of man you deserve”

“The kind of man I deserve?” you question, baffled. “Guzma, you’re the love of my life! I’ve never been happier with anyone else! Every day I wake up and I think of how lucky I am to have you as my man, every time I fall asleep I think of the next time I can see your face! You put so much work into tonight, if anything I should be the one wishing I was the kind of woman you deserved!”

Even with the conviction in your words, he’s bewildered. You’re dead serious, he doesn’t think he’s seen you as passionate about anything else in the year you’ve spent together. It’s almost overwhelming, but he knows in his heart that you’re being truthful, and that you’re right, as always.

He sighs and gazes at you, chest brimming with adoration. “Ah damn, what am I gonna do without you?”

“I dunno, be sad all the time?” you suggest playfully, resting your chin on his shoulder. “Haha, maybe” he laughs as he wraps his arm around your waist.

You snuggle into his side as he gently kisses your forehead. “I love you” he whispers. “I love you too” you reply.

“Hey, I have an idea,” you mention. “We should shower and get some takeaway. Our anniversary isn’t over yet.”

“You know what babe? That’s a great idea.” He says with a grin, before kissing your lips again.

~~~

You’re sat at the head of his bed with your legs crossed, back leaning against the pillows, hands resting on your lap. You have this coy little smile on your lips, your eyes are rife with excitement and mischief. 

You’re clad in nothing but a towel, a towel that doesn’t reach your mid-thigh, a towel that threatens to slip open at any moment. He can see a bead of water roll down the side of your neck, he wants to lick it off, in fact, he wants to lick you all over.

How he managed to restrain himself in the shower, he would never know.

“I thought you looked cute in the suit, but I think I like this better” you chuckle lusciously. “Oh, yeah?” he asks, his voice in a particularly deep tone, he can see you shiver in response to that.

He lets the towel around his hips fall, leaving him in the bare buff. He’s not quite hard yet, but you’re both certain he will be. “And do you prefer this?”

“Mhm,” you hum in agreement, your eyes telegraphing that you like what you see. Pride swells within him, he swears he’s never felt sexier. He comes to climb over you, nestling between your legs, starting to toy with your towel.

 “I prefer your hair like this too~” you coo, ruffling your fingers through his fluffy, white hair. He grins, and leans in, kissing you gently, but passionately.

Your lips feel like heaven, he’s just full of bliss at the mere touch of them. Your arms wrap around his neck, your body is so soft and warm, he wants to keep you there forever. 

He licks your bottom lip, and you open your mouth easily, he loves how eager you are. He slips his tongue in, and swirls it around yours, you whimper softly.

His hand pulls at your towel, it untucks from itself and it falls away from your body. His thumb brushes over your right nipple, it pebbles under his touch. You shudder, and then whine into his mouth as he squeezes your breast.

When he parts from your lips, you kiss him again. He smiles, and then takes the opportunity to lay eyes on your now nude body.

“Oh, baby, you look so good” he nearly moans, he feels himself hardening at the sight. “You’re too sweet,” you murmur as he kisses you again.

“It’s true,” he chuckles. “You’re so cute and sexy, I swear”

“Ah, Guz…” you mumble sheepishly, confirming what he just said with your shy expression.

You’re so precious, arceus, it’s almost too much. He smiles before dipping in and kissing your sensitive neck. You squirm against his lips as he nips tenderly at your flesh.

He nuzzles into the crook of you neck, you smell so good, clean and fresh, your citrusy perfume still lingers on your skin. He moves to pepper your breasts in light kisses, letting his tongue occasionally slip out to lick at your nipples. You sigh and shiver pleasurably, and run your fingers through his hair.

He trails his tongue down your stomach, parting the area with a stripe of saliva. He flicks his gaze up to meet yours, your eyes sparkle in anticipation. He smirks at that.

His warm hands roam down your sides, and stop to grasp your thighs, spreading them apart. He can feel them involuntarily try to close, and hide your rosy, glistening vulva from him.

“Wet already?” he teases lowly, and licks his lips. You coyly avert your eyes, but your hips squirm in need. He dives in between your thighs, throwing your legs over his shoulders.

You cry softly at his warm breath, what a gorgeous sound. He kisses your clit gently, he can hear your breath hitch in your throat. He wraps his lips around it, sucking harder than he thinks you’d expect, your body jolts from the action.

“Guzma… Ah,” you moan and shake, only egging him on to suck more. Your fingers slide into his hair, and grasp at it, he likes the subtle pain that comes from tugging at it.

He leaves your clit, and licks along your folds, before he inserts his tongue inside you. Your thighs squeeze his face and you clench around his tongue as you mewl.

“Needy girl,” he chuckles after retracting his tongue. He gives your ass a good smack, your flesh ripples pleasantly in response. “Oh, Guzma, c’mon,” You whine, trying to grind your hips into his face. He laughs, amused at your antics.

He latches onto your clit again, it pulses as he suckles on it. He slips a finger effortlessly inside you, and draws it back and pushes it in again. He curls his finger upwards, you near –scream as he brushes against your g-spot.

Your delicious reactions spur him on. Your clit pulses in his mouth, your walls attempt to clench around his finger, your hips buck into his face. He knows how close you are to orgasm.

When it hits, he has to pin you down by your hips, otherwise he’s afraid you’d grind his face off. He slips his tongue out of you, licking up your excess fluids, as you pant and cry out in ecstasy.

He watches you intently as he rises from between your thighs, wiping his mouth with the back off his hand. Your skin blooms in a gorgeous post-orgasm glow, he’s a lucky man to not only witness, but cause, this phenomenon.

Once he’s finished admiring his handiwork, he pounces, catching you in a hungry kiss. Your arms snake around his neck, and pull him closer as the kiss deepens, he wonders if you can taste yourself on his lips.

As you pull away, you smile genuinely at him, and he’s taken aback by that look of adoration in your eyes. He presses his forehead to yours for a moment. “I love you,” you whisper against his lips. “I love you too baby” he replies gingerly, kissing you softly again.

“Aight, now we boning” he says with a chuckle, you laugh and agree. Maybe it ruins the mood, but now he’s certain that you don’t mind that one bit.

You squirm when he presses his tip against your entrance, you moan when he pushes in.

Arceus, you feel so good around him, so warm and wet and tight as he fills you up. He groans loudly and nibbles at your neck, your sharp nails dig into his shoulders and your legs squeeze his hips.

He pulls back slowly, then pushes in, then out, then in and so on. His thrusts are thorough, and deep, intent on drawing out sweet moans and cute expressions from you.

“Guzma…” you whimper, your eyes glazed in pleasure. He grins and grunts, clutching at the sheets. “Yeah baby? You like how my dick feels inside you?” he asks in a husky teasing tone. You snakingly nod and cry out in ecstasy.

“Nope babygirl, you gotta say it” he purrs against your ear, stopping his thrusts to entice you. “I wanna hear you say it,”

You wriggle your hips in desperation, whining all the while. He simply smirks, and nibbles at your neck. “Come on, don’t be shy baby, say how much you like it.”

“Yes, yes, I love it~!” you blurt out. “Your dick feels amazing~!”

That makes him grin ear-to-ear, he rewards you by starting to thrust again, deep and thorough like before. “Fuck…” you hiss as you bite your lip. Your expressions are so cute, he ponders whether he can make them cuter.

His hand strays down your body, his thumb moving to rub your clit. You practically sing at that, lips forming a perfect ‘o’ shape as you moan.

“Keep going, keep going…” you trail off into a mewl. He takes you up on that, fucking into you like his life depends on it whilst playing with your clit in a similar fashion.

You throw your head back and let out a hoarse moan as you climax. You spasm around him, it feels like you’re trying to milk him for all he’s worth, and it’s working.

He’s close now, really close, if he stays inside you any longer he might never leave. He uses all his conviction to pull out of you once you’re finished, you whimper and whine, no doubt missing him already. He grasps his dick and starts to jerk off to your flushed, naked body.

“Oh shiiiiiiiit…” he moans as he orgasms in thick white ribbons all over your stomach. He takes one look at you, all covered in his cum, and he smirks, before flopping down satisfied and spent beside you.

A few minutes pass while he gets you cleaned up, now you’re cosied up under the covers, your head resting on his chest as he plays with your hair.

“Do you wanna order pizza?” you ask as you reach for your phone on the nightstand.  He nods. “That sounds fucking great.  Also, I got some beer in the fridge if you want some?”

“Yes please!” you reply, as you turn on your phone. He reluctantly slips away from you, and the covers, and walks over to the mini-fridge by his throne. He opens it, and takes two cans out of it. They’re cheap, but he knows you like them, especially when they’re cold.

“Okay, the food should be here in thirty minutes. I ordered your fave, and some garlic bread” you say. “That’s awesome, thanks babe.”

He closes the fridge door and hands you a beer, before climbing under the duvet next to you. He wraps an around your shoulders, and you snuggle into him.

“To another year~” you sing as you clink your can against his.

“To another year” he repeats tenderly, with a huge dopey grin.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Kishotenketsu and You: Rethinking Wano

Let's talk narrative structure for a moment. Well, more than a moment. Shocker, I have trouble speaking up in groups so I’m a long-winded writer.  This is bigger than Kiku. Which is hard because she is very tall. Wano made the interesting choice to have these explicit act breaks unlike any prior One Piece arc. Closing the curtains for the first time on a chapter titled "Ha" based on a theatrical flourish used within. People sorta made up their minds we were using a 5-Act structure called jo-ha-kyu. It could have worked, not saying it was a bad idea. Just...a long time ago another one started to become obvious for a reason we just wouldn't have been able to get then. By the time it became apparent, people had moved on.

And thus, my true goal was accomplished. Cramming in Sssarahebi somehow. This Snake Princess is good with kids, the other kicks puppies. Kishotenketsu, a portmanteau of the four parts of a four-part story structure. It's a big deal with deep roots in East Asian writing, from teaching the proper flow of a single sentence to the structure of epics, even argumentative essays and legal writing. China and Korea have their own variants. It is every bit as core to Asian writing as a conflict-driven, three act structure is to the West. I know you’ve seen it in action if you’re reading a post about Wano because Alabasta, Water 7, Zou, and Whole Cake all fit this template. 1057, 1058, & 1059 all do internally, as do Acts 1,2, & 3 as standalone stories. By the time you finish reading the parts it’ll be very obvious why it pertains to Wano:

Ki- is for Kiku, in this case meaning introduction. Setting the setting, characters, themes. Act 1 fits this like a glove.

Sho- is next, development. Build off of part one, usually with some twists that deepen the core. Act 2 works but would be a little short. Add the Oden flashback and pre-Raid though? Now we're talking.

Ten- follows, twist, with the biggest climax being called the Yama. Think peaks, biggest mountain. That idea. Should feel tonally different even to the point of being jarring. Or a story that could stand complete on its own. Focusing on a new setting, characters, etc. 

Ketsu rounds it off. This is the conclusion. Where we tie off the loose ends and solidify the intent in a manner that draws the ultimate point out of the contrast between the setup and the twist. 

So yeah...Wano, that already weird and lowkey kinda meta theatrical arc? It’s been doing something like if a “Hero’s Journey” story named the two biggest new faces “Call” (as in, to adventure) and “Ordeal.” Then the two are total mirrors of each other but never really interact. In short, don't be so sure we aren't about to head into “Act 4.” Especially when it doesn't have to look like the other three at all. The curtains don’t have to open, Hiyori doesn’t have to play us in, it doesn’t even need to involve Wano anymore.  Doesn’t have to be about Kiku no matter how well she could do it, like I said long ago this could all be for Vivi’s sake. I’ll add Hancock as well.

If you've seen a few old samurai movies or enough anime you've probably seen this. If you want something Western The Handmaid's Tale does a good impression. Book, not show. Main story ends, but we're not done. There's some coda. Maybe it's in the future, maybe it's some random new faces commenting on what happened, maybe it gets really fuckin trippy and leans on the fourth wall. Or perhaps it jerks into a completely different format! Rakugo Man could tell the people of Wano another story for all we know, Marco could incidentally reveal some last bits of context pouring his heart out to Ace/Whitebeard’s graves, or maybe we get a cute Kamishibai-style flashback!

It doesn't have to be wild though, the crew on the ship for a few chapters does the job as good as anything. Alabasta did it with two naval challenges and through Jaya in tandem with setting up Skypiea. Thriller Bark is the setup two, with Sabaody as part 3 and Amazon Lily as part 4. These have long stood as some of my favorite parts of the series for this...ephemeral, foreign pace that leaves me thinking about them so much more. How elegant they are as transitions. How much weight the small island stories truly carry. Also like, this is an arc where the big powerup was cartoon nonsense.

Look at what was left on the table for Wano, a lot of it was the impact on the main cast or threads that would heavily involve one or more. That wasn’t an accident. None of us know what's happening next, but it has all the potential in the world to be incredibly unique. I can't wait to see it with you all.

For a little extra reading on Kishotenketsu, check out this excellent piece from 2012: https://stilleatingoranges.tumblr.com/post/25153960313/the-significance-of-plot-without-conflict

[mystery-star]

John Biebe - Outfit Rating

Sooo I made a rating for all of John’s outfits. The order they appear here is chronological from the movie. Even tho he wears some outfits twice I only listed them once. (It’s also mainly about the tops because he possesses like 3 pair of trousers)

0) The outdoor outfit: blue anorak, jeans brown boots and fur hat

Rating: 7.5/10

(No idea where else I should be putting that because he just wears that stuff so often, combined with other jumpers. So, it’s right here, at the start…) The jacket is really nice. I actually want one like this! The hat however… I mean if he’d at least wear it over his ears but no, John just cannot cover his ears, ever!

1)  White jumper, blue lumberjacket

Rating: 8/10

I mean that guy looks so good in white but minus points because we don’t see him in just the jumper & lumber jacket. Also the turquoise turtleneck... idk about that.

2) “regular” Saturday game Hockey outfit

Rating: 7.5/10

The white ones are a little basic, but still nice. But I really like the brown ones, like a foreshadowing of the later outfits during the game.

3) Grey undershirt

Rating: 7.5/10

We get to see some skin. But somehow I don’t think sleevless fits him that well. Reminds me of something/someone else but I can’t put my finger on it. (And my poor baby is hurt, I don’t like that either!)

4) grey jumper, green lumberjacket

Rating: 10/10

There’s nothing I have to cricizite about this one. (Only when he has to wear the blue jacket over it sometimes well). It’s just the classic Biebe. And I can actually cosplay that one 😊. Grey jumper alone is a big goodie to me. Have a pic of it too:

5) grey jumper, red lumberjacket

Rating: 8/10

I mean the jumper is great. And I kinda like the red jacket but idk... other colors suit him better.

6) blue lumberjacket with vest

Rating: 6/10

No, I’m sorry but this outfit just looks like a kid from the 90ies where mothers pick out all kind of layers so it doesn’t freeze. But the blue lumberjacket itself is nice. And then he even wears the red lumberjacket over that. With green gloves.

 Guy’s got no idea of style sometimes…

7) The white jumperTM

Rating: 12/10

Now that jumper is my sexuality. I don’t make the rules. It does things to me...

8) White jumper and green lumberjacket

Rating: 9/10

We have my fave lumberjacket and Biebe in white again. Only minus point because it’s not the THE white jumper. And that we don’t get to see this combo that often. (He once wears the cable knit sweather wih the green lumberjacket but he wears the blue anorak over it so you don’t really see the lumberjacket (or the jumper itself)

9) White jumper and red lumberjacket

Rating: 7/10

Yes, this is an outfit-combo too. (I only noticed it only very, very recently) Thing is, he wears the anorak over it so we only see so little of it. I feel robbed. And he’s wearing like super huge boots.

10) casual sweater and brown hoodie-jacket

Rating: 9/10

So casual and chilling, I love it. A stay-at-home cuddly husband. Idk about the jogging pants tho. Did I mention I need that brown hoodie tho?

11) Christmas sweater

Rating: 6/10

Could be fitting for an ugly sweater party. (The reindeer on it is cute tho) Also in combo with the sunglasses... and the hat... I just don’t feel it.

12) Coaching outfit

Rating: 6/10

Once again seems like a random collection. I mean turquoise turtlneck with the grey sweater is actually a nice combo. But then the blue vest over it again. With the red lumberjacket. I’m starting to think I just have something against this blue vest… (It’s like he thinks “Today is vest day, means no regards of style whatsoever”)

13) Funeral outfit

Rating: 9/10

He’s wearing tie and shirt? And why can’t we see that coat more often? The hat kinda makes him look like some member of the russian mafia tho.

14) casual training outfit

Rating: 7.5/10

Black sweaters are always nice and John is the proof for that. But you don’t really get to see it at all. Then he wears a second outfit for the dog sledge scene… The only time he doesn’t have a horrible combo with that vest!

15) JUST the necklace

Rating: 9.5/10

The only scene you really see his necklace properly. And I mean... I’m always in for shirtless guys. Half a Minuspoint because we don’t see more...

16) Protective Hockey gear

Rating: 8.5/10

Yeah, I’m counting this as a separate outfit because I’m a real sucker for  that black thight shirt he wears.

17) Mystery Team Hockey outfit

Rating 9.5/10

Yes, just beautiful with all the colors and the basic design. It all fits so well. (Not like the NY Rangers outfits that look like a bit they were designed in Microsoft Word). I do have to make a deduction because later on poor John bleeds on it.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Higurashi Sotsu Ep6

Let’s just file this one under “top 10 shittiest anime deaths” *badum-tish*

Thoughts under the cut.

I feel like in a lot of ways this episode kinda highlights the highs and lows of the new series, and how it feels like it’s trying to be like three different stories at the same time and usually only succeeding at being one of them.

This episode, and this arc in general, as a standalone part of the franchise was actually really good, and delivered on the promise of ‘what if Mion actually became the culprit in one arc’, but as part of the answer arcs for the new series it just continues to feel kinda pointless and predictable. I still think that a lot of this has to do with them trying to be both a sequel and a remake at the same time, but unlike with the Rena answer arc, I honestly feel like even new fans could have guessed everything that happened in this arc, since it didn’t actually go into anything that wasn’t already discussed in Gou. So even on that level it doesn’t really feel like it’s providing essential answers that couldn’t have been worked out in advance.

It’s kinda weird how little this arc actually explored anything about Mion and Shion that wasn’t already shown in Gou, considering how much stuff from the VN related to them hadn’t been covered. A lot of their backstory stuff ended up not exactly being relevant to how this arc played out, but it just feels like a weird thing to gloss over when they’ve spent so much time going over stuff from the VN as it is.

Though on that note, I’m really curious about how they’ve made absolutely zero reference to the fact that Mion and Shion swapped places as kids, or anything about Mion’s tattoo. At this point I have to wonder if maybe Ryukishi just doesn’t actually like that plot point in hindsight, and is choosing to effectively write it out of the story here. I can see why, though, since from what I remember it kinda verges into being a twist for the sake of having a twist, and doesn’t actually do much for them as characters that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.

The lack of basically anything to do with Shion’s backstory and her relationship with Satoshi still feels a lot more iffy, but at least some of this stuff feels like intentional revising on Ryukishi’s part. Which I think is a really interesting aspect of the new series as a whole. It feels like he’s taking the chance to look back on the VN and show us how he feels about it after all this time. The stuff with characters like Teppei and Rina seems to be his way of making up for them being shallow villains in the VN, and Satoko being evil here seems to be in part inspired by how little agency or control she had in the original story. I guess the big issue here is that a lot of people probably just straight up disagree with the things that Ryukishi thinks of as being problems with the VN that he’s trying to ‘fix’ here, but I think it’s really interesting to see him do this sort of thing, even if it’s messy and overly ambitious and doesn’t fully work.

For the most part I agree with all the criticisms about these arcs feeling like a bit of a waste of time as we wait for the story to eventually loop back to the Nekodamashi cliffhanger. Even from the perspective of this being mainly for the sake of new fans, it feels kinda strange to see such straightforward ‘this is what was happening behind the scenes in the question arcs’ style answers, with lots of reused footage and basically zero twists or reveals. The VN’s way of designing separate arcs that provide answers for the question arcs was more satisfying, and Umineko went even further with that by just vaguely going over the basic keys to figuring out all the how-dunnit mysteries of the question arcs, and everything else about the answer arcs there was just a continuation of the meta plot. So it feels kinda weird to see him loop back around to the opposite end of the spectrum here.

It makes me wonder if there’s some sort of larger meta mystery going on here that’ll become more apparent in the next arc, and will reveal that we didn’t actually know everything that was going on like we thought we did, but at this point I feel like it’ll probably all end up being a lot more straightforward than we predicted. But there’s still the looming specter of the meta plane stuff, the hints dropped about where this series fits into the wider WTC universe timeline, and the fact that the whole point of the new series in the first place seems to be guiding Rika and Satoko down the path toward becoming their Umineko counterparts. So all of that stuff makes me think there might be some curveball twists going in the future that expand the scope of the story, but I have no real idea what to expect from that, and if it’d even feel satisfying. As much as I’m a diehard Umineko fan who loves the idea of this being a Lambda and Bern origin story, I still worry that the execution might not work once we get to the end. I also don’t really think that anything the series does in the final arcs will completely make up for how predictable these first few answer arcs have felt on a week by week basis, lol.

In general it gets me thinking that in spite of how predictable the answers have been thus far, I’m largely clueless about how I think they’ll actually wrap up the overarching story with Satoko and Rika. It feels like there’s still a lot of different directions they could take it in, and a lot of it depends on just how far Ryukishi wants to go with tying this into other WTC works.

For one thing, I’m not even sure how to expect them to follow up on the Nekodamashi cliffhanger. It’s at least hard to imagine how they could stop Satoko from shooting Rika then and there, considering how this episode in particular went. And one way or another, we’ll have to see how Rika and Satoko handle being in a situation where they both know what’s going on with each other. I think it’ll then just depend on what Satoko’s mental state is like at that point, and also what they plan on doing with the whole looper-killing sword thing. I think Ryukishi’s implied multiple times now that the next arc will start to test Satoko’s resolve, and going by her attitude during the infamous gut-ripping scene, as well as her traumatized reaction to the punching glove box prank, I think she’ll be much less confident in her goals by that point, and probably more willing to talk about what’s going on.

I don’t think it’ll be as simple as ‘she just gives up and everyone forgives her’, or even ‘Rika beats up Satoko while everyone cheers and they all move on and abandon her’, though. I think there’ll be some kind of balancing act between redemption and punishment, but I also think that ultimately it’ll also tie into the Lambda/Bern origin story stuff they seem to be going for. I think I’ve said this before, but my best guess for how this will end is that the looper-killing sword will be used to separate their ‘meta selves’ who are aware of the loops and stuff, while leaving behind their regular physical selves who thus lose most/all of their memories of the loops. At least that way they can have their cake and eat it too by showing how Lambda and Bern became witches, while also having separate versions of them that get to stay behind and mend their relationship or something. But I’m not even confident about all of that, lol.

It’s also worth noting that the key visual for Sotsu features Satoko and Rika as teenagers, and the OP also features that pretty heavily, along with an ominous scene of the other main characters as teenagers. So that makes me think that the story will somehow get back to that whole time period, which makes me a bit more unsure how the last arc will go. One option is that the final Nekodamashi arc will just keep going until they become teenagers again, but the way those scenes are presented in the promo material makes it seem like Satoko and Rika’s relationship is still bad then. So maybe on the other hand we’ll just go back to the original Matsuribayashi timeline where Satoko first met Eua, but I feel like that’d probably be the happy ending where everything goes back to the original timeline and they all end up reconnecting again, so I’m still not sure how the ominous presentation of the teenage characters might play into that.

Either way, I think all of that stuff will probably just come up in the final arc. The next one will probably be covering Tataridamashi and Nekodamashi from Satoko’s perspective. The next arc should be where things start to shake up, but I still think they could easily cover both of those arcs in just five episodes. Nothing much seemed to be happening with Satoko until the final days of Tataridamashi, and I can’t imagine there being much to explore with how she set up the rapid-fire loops in Nekodamashi.

With what’s been hinted at about the next arc not going according to Satoko’s plans, and her resolve being tested, I think that this will probably be where things go entirely out of her control and she starts to doubt whether or not she should continue with her plans. Specifically I think that being in a new loop with Teppei being nice to her, and watching everyone else try to save her from her [perceived] abuse, will start to sway her toward thinking that maybe that sort of timeline is worth staying in, even if it means giving up on controlling Rika.

One way or another I think Ooishi went crazy all on his own. I think Ryukishi explicitly said in an interview that Ooishi went L5 naturally, and I think the manga version of Tataridamashi made it clear that Satoko was genuinely thrown off by how things went there, so she probably didn’t want Ooishi to kill anyone. I can see how he might have gone off the deep end by interrogating Teppei and realizing that there was basically a witch hunt going on against him, but I’m not sure how he would have ended up specifically blaming Rika unless Satoko pushed him into it. Either way, Teppei probably really did attack Keiichi at the end of the arc, and we know that Satoko just has one syringe to use, so at most she probably injected Teppei and then Ooishi went L5 naturally.

I’m also curious to see if/when Satoko learns about Rika being given the power to remember her deaths, since that’d also go a long way toward explaining what her intentions might have been with how that arc ended. I think Satoko is at least aware that Rika doesn’t remember how she dies, so I’m at least not sure what she’d try and accomplish by setting up a loop that only goes to shit at the very last second. It feels like it wouldn’t do a whole lot aside from making Rika confused in the next loop. But Rika only gets her ability to remember her deaths after that loop already ends, so Satoko could have only known about it if there’s some sort of conspiracy going on about Hanyuu. Which there probably is, since her whole presence in this is weird and her deciding to give Rika a new set of powers was always super suspicious, but still.

I’m also curious to see if we get any real payoff to the idea that Satoko’s looping is causing more and more people to remember past loops. Especially when it comes to the main club members, since there’s various moments in Tataridamashi and Nekodamashi, both in the anime and manga, that seem to imply that most of them are starting to remember things.

Even though the execution of this whole new series makes me a bit more wary about how any sort of new anime for Umineko along these lines might pan out, I can’t help but still really hope this is leading to something like that. For one thing I just think that if he’s going for a Lambda/Bern origin story with this, at the risk of alienating lots of existing fans, I think there should at least be a more concrete payoff to that than just ‘ok now you can go back and read the Umineko VN’. But I think there’s a lot of potential to be had with some sort of remake or sequel to Umineko where he gets a chance to revisit it after more than 10 years. One of these days I should still just make a whole post about my hopes and predictions for what could be done with any sort of new Umineko anime, lol.

Anyway, this got longer than I planned, but all in all I enjoyed this more than it probably comes across like I did, lol. Even if the plot’s been kinda boring, I think Sotsu has done a great job of elevating it with good direction and visuals. The moment to moment pacing can still be kinda choppy, and sometimes the presentation of flashback scenes is confusing and ambiguous, but in general it still feels entertaining to watch unfold, and the brutality has a lot of impact. I’m just hoping that the rest of Sotsu is more ambitious and surprising than these first two arcs have been.

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse: “Goofy’s Valentine’s Date” Review

Come on in mouskeeteers! It’s Valentine’s Season here on popculturebuffet, and while I may be single, I do love a good romance story. I find them sweet, sometimes hilaroius, and endearing when done right. And the bane of my existance when done wrong, but we’ll be getting to smidgen of that too. Point is I may not be getting any romantic love this season but I can sure celebrate it. So for the next two weeks we’ll be diving deep first into some ending with one heck of a closer. 

So for our opening act since i’ve been going on in to the House of Mouse a lot lately, and since I NEARLY missed this one if not for Kevin, we’re going to be looking in on my boy Goofy as he grapples with being lonely and Daisy misguidedly tries to help him. Blind dates with a manquin and Mortimer hitting on women to predictable and justified results insues under the cut. 

So as usual for house of mouse we’re chunking this up by segment. Let’s go. 

Donald’s Valentine’s Dollar: Easily the segment of the night and the best House of Mouse short i’ve seen in a rewatch so far. The short is simple but awesome: Donald has only a dollar to spend for V-Day, and wants to buy daisy a tiny but sweet box of chocolates, but his dollar blows away in the wind and he chases after it. And that’s.. it that’s our premise. But it leads into fast paced looney tunes style shenanigans with donald zipping up and down kites and later taking goofy’s broken one and putting it on like wings Arthur Everest styles and taking after it. Also the nephews show up and dick around with their kites because their douchebags in some shorts. Also donald tries to punch a whale.. well a whale kite but still let it be said there’s a short where donald tries to punch what he thinks is a sky whale. And that is wonderful.  The climax is also really sweet, as Donald gets the dolalr, after another briliant sequence where they play hide and seek in the clouds, only to find it sold out and himself dejected waiting for her thinking she’ll be mad.. only for her to present him with the very gift he was going to give her and the two to share a look. 

It’s cute enough on it’s own but after SEVEAL weeks of having to put up with the  three cabs version it’s NICE to have a Daisy back whose not an overly demanding monster from some stygian hole in the sky. Not much else to say about this one. I’ts just REALLY good and I could easily recommend checking it out on it’s own. 

Mickey Saves Minnie: The Stairs This is one of those short segments from Mouseworks that lasts about a minute and is off a simple recurring premise, in this case Mickey saving Minnie from some sort of bizzare fortress of pete’s.. in this case THE STAIRS!

I said STAIRS. In this case Gimmicked stairs with all kinds of traps: boxing gloves, giant balls...

And giant slinkies. I knew one day they’d grow big and kill us all but they all laughed at me.. well whose laughing now.. well still them because Mickey gets past them easily. Pete turns the stairs into a slide but mickey rebounds by pure luck via slinky and uses one of the boxing gloves to win, minnie kisses him and this was real fun. Nothing really deep to go into just a fun few minutes of my life i’m glad i’m not getting back. Speaking of wishing I had minutes of my life back....

Pluto’s Arrow Error: Well this one’s messed up. Look Love Potion plots genuinely ONLY work when the writer knows that giving someone something to make you fall in love with them is inehrently messed up. It worked in Buffy because Xander did so for vengance after Cordellia broke up with him, which granted she did REALLY hurt him but it’s still a bit of overkill. However while it ends up backfiing and making every OTHER girl in school into him, and psyotically so as the episode goes on, he never indulges, as he KNOWS it’s wrong and not under their power or choice. Basically it was one long deconstuction of this nonsense. 

My point is unless it’s used to deconstruct this type of plot or for some shenanigans, Love Potion plots are inherently creepy at best and rapey at worst. So naturally we get one with Pluto trying to make a dog who dosen’t know him love him instead of trying to woo her, and accidently making her bodyguard/boyfirend I guess chase after him for 2 minutes while he’s tinted pink. And yes i know he’s a dog, but he’s an intellegent dog who should knwo this is bad and never gets called out on it and his punshiment.. is one long gay joke. 

So yeah while not the worst love potion plot i’ve probably seen, or love magic or what have you, I could make a list of those and might some day, it is still pretty uncomfortable and easily a dead spot in an otherwise pretty enjoyable episode. 

Goofy’s Valentine’s Date: And fitting it’s accompanying shorts, the good ones anyway, this is a simple plot with funny gags. It’s valentin’es day at the house of mouse and Mickey encourages everyone to kiss their sweeties. So we get Aladdin and Jasmine, AWWWW always shipped those two so adorable, a toy soldier and some other toy from a work im unfamiliar iwth and Timon turns down Pumba. Come on man, who are you trying to kid me or the censors? 

But Goofy’s depressed since he dosent have a sweetie and Daisy feels bad for the poor guy while Minnie tells her “not to meddle”. 

Minnie from a buisness standpoint, he’s crying while reading the menu and clealry not in great mental shape. Setting him up with someone or even just talking to him will help with that. And from a human being standpoint... your being a cruel ass to NOT help him in any way shape or form. The guys a fucking widower. He’s probably been lonely for some time and more focused on raising max. And since no one knows where Peg is he dosen’t have a lot options now he is ready to date again. It’s not MEDDLING to help a clearly lonely person whose gotten over his grief move on, it’s just called basic human decency. I expect that from cablleros daisy Min not you. 

So Daisy does end up meddling, in part because she thinks it’s shuffling around coins, and sets him up with a secret admirer.. without actually getting him one. 

So Minnie does agree to help and they.. put him in a blindfold and have him date a manquin. In front of the entire restraunt. I have no words.. since this is pretty funny and Goofy’s shenanigans while blindfolded, because it’s a BLIND date.

Also sidebar it’s very weird that she DID set Lincoln up with a blind date once but didn’t pull this gag. Point is it’s some funny stuff including Gus, in his first apperance on this blog seriously how’d it take so long, eating the shakes he orders since Goofy can’t see. 

Tying into the resolution to this is Moritmer, who spends the episode as you’d expect.. hitting on various characters. He hits on the wicked step sisters, whose cat attacks him, he hits on the lady gargoyle from huncback and her two friends rightfully beat his ass, he hits on madam mim who set shim on fire and he hits on the queen of hearts who somehow DOSEN’T cut off his head, and you know is married, and does launch him into goofy spoiling the ruse. Honestly I found this funny both because Moritmer is objectively hilarious and because the show DIDN’T take his side at all or give him anyone, and he suffered consequences for sleazly hitting on women. He also called himself a wonder man. No sir the only wonder men are these guys. 

And if your wondering about the secod one there was a whole song about it. 

Your welcome. So Goofy’s dejected until after Pluto’s cartoon where it turns out he had a secret admirer after all. it’s clarabelle! Awww.. and Daisy says “Well it’s better than a manquin” what a supportive friend you are. And she’s STILL better than cabs Daisy. Point is happy ending pulled sorta out of their ass, as she showed up earlier but sitll it woudl’ve been easy to have Clarabelle chime in during their scheme or something and have Minnie set them up to fix it. Or Donald or Mickey. Donald was absent outside of the short. That’s not fair. But overall not a bad wraparound, ending is a huge copout and feels like not much, but i’m starting to think that’s usual for season 1. I do KINDA ship the two, but usually I prefer her with horace or him with Peg Pete. Yeah you heard me and you cant unhear it and frankly I don’t want you to. We also get a funny add about the Queen of Hearts valentine’s service.  Overall not a bad episode. Fun gags, a cute premsie and only one really terrble short. Check it out this valentein’s and hopefully disney will have this show up on plus by next valentine’s. Until the next rainbow, it’s been a pleasure.