#from my retrospring.

[kadzhi]

🤦‍♂️

[dotssu3]

lilienne

[antiendovents]

'm really tempted to make things,, dunno what to make tho. anything you guys wanna see?? (whether it be a new blog, something on this blog, for this blog or just in general, i'm really bored and creating things calms me down + is entertaining)

[starw4rdsky]

[yourdarlingness]

I WILL CRY./J

UELHLPRLHPRLL

[brokengem]

Anonymous Coward asked: Aaaw! Leona really enjoying Vil playing with his hair the most despite grumbling about it the most is so cute. Vil just knows what places to scratch. He’s too proud to say he melts but he totally does.

Yessss, you have no idea how much this thought just lives rent free in my mind, Anon! If he wasn’t forced to do duties, Leona could just stay contently on Vil’s lap letting him run his fingers through his hair pulling him to sleep. Vil humming softly as he does so. (Spoiler alert: very much writing a scene like this in an upcoming Leovil fic) Vil just has magical hands and sometimes he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. He’s almost always soft about it, only on those occasions where Leona has pissed him off or if he’s mad about something in his life does he get rough(but Leona likes that too :3) [Smile or comment on the answer here](https://retrospring.net/@heartsfate/a/110231097784979378)

[r0d30-brqt]

removed varg from that post bc i have weird grouping rules

[canarymemories]

izuleo in my head what will they do

[maskspurpose]

the revstar fandom asked: what do you want to see from the fine climax? any ideas or predictions on what might actually go down?

god ive been talking abt it with jamie a bit bc were both kinda anxious about it but my approach is kinda just. denial/ignoring/setting low expectations tbh LMAO ive mostly focused on what i want for the song/costumes aka something that suits tori more than the general fine aesthetic like lets get sickeningly cute. princess peach cosplay or go home. in terms of event story i REALLY hope we get some payoff for some of whats been getting set up for tori aka some sort of resolution for the fact that hes still being "shielded" from eichi by eichi. like the arc thats been kinda set up since primavera through sanctuary and white brim and finals and the graduation tour too. ive said Tori Mutiny in the past but i dont expect an actual change in leadership i just want him to kinda graduate from the team baby role a little bit. if tori learns abt yuzuru that would be incredible. i want a wataru 4* and some sort of acknowledgement of how their relationship has changed since flowerfes but ill take an eichi 4* (he hasnt had an event one since tempest. wataru had a tour one during boys idol festival). all of fine together in the unbloomed 5* would be soooo cute. ive thought abt them like lifting tori onto their shoulders or smth? IMAGINE if their costumes had tiny crowns. [Smile or comment on the answer here](https://retrospring.net/@maskspurpose/a/110859882891462866)

[psychickiss]

crepe with extra feelings

— saiki kusuo x reader (no 3rd person pronouns, 2nd pov)

— summary: After a disastrous Home Economics class, Saiki receives a sweet treat from you.

— notes: i feel like i have to say everytime that my fics arent beta read. i kind of just trust my gut on this (not this time though) also this is in season 1 episode 20 (chapter 98)

— things: i made the reader pretty casual with their feelings for saiki soo you could take this as romantic or platonic

— masterlist | request form | retrospring

“Psst. Saiki. Don’t go yet.”

Saiki anticipated your calling out to him. He had heard your thoughts as the both of you watched your other classmates exit the room. Normally, he would’ve been one of the first to go, but he felt compelled to stay and hear out whatever it is you had to say.

Now, Saiki turns to you, eyebrow raised. He knows you made him an extra crepe. However, he’s seen the ones Nendou made, if you give him savory crepes too–

You hold out the crepe to him without a word. Whipped cream, banana slices, and chocolate syrup (both white and milk chocolate).

“My group and I didn’t have much, err, ingredients to work with for the filling. Plus, we had leftover batter. It does taste good though, if I must say.”

You glance to the side for a second and think, I’d eat the leftover batter but that just sounds like a thing one can only do at home. Also, you seem disappointed that the ones Nendou made had tuna in it. You quickly look back at him with a small smile.

Saiki’s eyes light up as he takes the crepe.

You remove your apron. “I’m not a good cook, or baker,” you declare. “But I do enjoy following recipes. I hope you like the crepe.”

Saiki takes a bite of the crepe and smiles. It’s decided. You’re no longer a nuisance. It’s not like you were much of a nuisance from the start, anyway. He says to you, “Thanks for the crepe.”, although his words were a bit muffled. You figure it was the crepe’s interference.

You reply happily as well, “You’re welcome. You could eat that on the way back to class, y’know?”

Saiki nods, and the two of you walk out of the room together.

“You aren’t going to take off your apron?”

“I’ll do it affer I finish the crepe. It’s good, by the way. Just the right amount of sweetness.”

You sigh in relief. “I’m so glad you like it! I made it myself, actually! I’m so relieved to hear you like it, really.”

Saiki nods at you, too busy eating to verbally respond.

You two enter the classroom, and are quickly approached by Nendou, Kaidou, and Aren. You don’t notice the way Saiki stops eating the crepe to grimace at his friends.

“Saiki! Where’d you get that crepe from?”

Saiki points to you as the source and you awkwardly smile at the guys. “Yep... My group had extra batter.”

“Why not make one for yourself?” Asks Aren. Saiki looks at you, he’s hoping your response wouldn’t be something that affirms whatever romance-related thought Aren is thinking.

“Eh... I don’t really like crepes... I don’t know if any of you liked crepes, too...”

Saiki hears Aren’s thoughts, as well as Kaidou’s thoughts. Good grief. Kaidou hasn’t picked up on what Kuboyasu’s thinking but those two gossip a lot... I need to stop this.

Kaidou purses his lips, the same romance-related thoughts brewing in his head. “How are you sure Saiki would want one?”

“He was dressed immediately when he heard we’d be making crepes. Plus, we’re friends.” You cross your arms. “There’s nothing wrong with that, right?”

Saiki subtly smiles. Nice one.

“Even if it wasn’t a platonic crepe,” Nendou grins, “you and my pal would make a nice couple!”

You laugh and roll your eyes. “Okay. Excuse us, now. We’d like to return to our seats.” You quietly think to yourself, I wouldn’t mind that, though.

Saiki silently finishes the crepe and throws the wrapper away in a nearby trash can before removing his apron. He walks toward his seat and watches as you go tuck your apron away.

You catch Saiki looking at you and smile. “So? How was the crepe?” You ask before sitting down.

“It was nice. Thank you, again.”

“You’re welcome. I’d be willing to make you a crepe again sometime, just say the word. Or...” You drag on that last word, and Saiki pretends he doesn’t hear the slight panic in your inner voice.

Do I go for it? Am I asking Saiki to go out? I don’t even like him like that! We’re not even that close to the point we can hang out one-on-one. Ugh, he’s waiting for me to finish my sentence. Just say it!

“Or... I could just take you out to some place that sells crepes? They’d probably make it far better than I do.”

Saiki hums. “I wouldn’t mind doing that with you. While it’s possible that crepes done by professionals would be better than by students like us, I’d appreciate it more if you were the one to prepare the crepe.”

Saiki’s words catch you off-guard for a second. “Oh–! Does... Does that mean you’ll go with me, though? A friend of mine showed me a place with all kinds of sweets, like crepes and coffee jelly–”

“I’m free today. We can go after school.”

“Oh? That’s great!”

[artofchira]

(an ask from my retrospring)

I can expand on it sure!

Perfectionism is best understood as an anxiety or trauma response for a need of control through trying to negate the inverse of it. In simpler terms, basically if you constantly control/manage away the flaws of something, then you're controlling the result to be the best possible quality.

Which sure sounds nice and practical, even strategic -- until you account that there is no result of whatever calibre that will be satisfying or accepted, because nothing can be without flaws or critical weakness.

That's why it's inherently a state of dysfunction, because it's not about chasing an acceptable result, because nothing will ever be accepted as good enough. If somehow a perfectionist does meet every standard they're going for, they'll simply move the goalposts so that it doesn't count, somehow. The point is to never be satisfied. It's a mistake to assume the perfectionist wants a good result. They don't know what counts as a good result even if they get it. At absolute worst, they will outright resent the idea of satisfaction because it means they're complacent and negligent over their own awareness.

The perfectionist mindset doesn't even recognize what they actually want, they just are highly aware of what they don't want, because what they don't want are markers of incorrectness or mistakes that is psychologically upsetting and reflective of whatever anxiety that's inadvertently being coped with.

I think perfectionism is very easy to develop growing up as a trauma response. Everyone recognizes a chaotic upbringing can make someone fall apart and reject any cohesive structure, and antisocial behaviors mark a symptom of a rough living environment -- but not many recognize it can actually make someone extremely hyper competent, and that in of itself is a symptom.

Basically, a child who seems extremely on the ball with getting perfect grades or scores, with over-managing things to the details and still being extremely nervous that it's garbage, and being hyper competent at things too advanced for their age -- all that are symptoms of trauma, because it's a response to trying to negate what's emotionally dangerous by controlling threats. Normally it's in response to parents either being overly harsh of any visible sign of under-performance, or an incentive structure where the child is only validated with attention if they over-achieve.

You may notice perfectionists kind of 'test' their results where if no one has anything critical to say (that they didn't already account for) then they have a sigh of relief. Not pride or happiness, just relief, because it means they passed the danger test. You'll also notice that if you point something that either they didn't notice themselves (or worse, they did but couldn't figure out how to work out the flaw) then they'll get extremely emotionally unregulated and fall apart in what looks like an anxiety attack. A flaw in their process instantly becomes a flaw in who they are as a person and everything they're about, and they fall into a panic of existential catastrophizing.

For myself, I absolutely fit this picture. I definitely am a compulsive perfectionist, though not really as bad as I used to be. My upbringing was extremely chaotic and unstable, and I grew up in a high-achieving family. Over-performing was rewarded and any kind of mistake or oversight was pointed out derisively.

It's why trying to assure a perfectionist something is good enough, it's fine, and that they don't have to achieve the highest form of standard -- it doesn't work. At all. That assumes they actually want that standard. They don't. A perfectionist wants to feel safe and in control, and so long as flaws exist, their emotional stability is threatened and left precarious, because it's leaving modes of vulnerability to potentially be used against them.

Though it's easy to develop, I also think it's not that difficult to train yourself out of it either. In my experience, it's not really about trying to teach yourself that flaws are to be accepted (if it was that easy, then it wouldn't be an issue in the first place), it's about training yourself to reward yourself with the results you do have, to understand what standards you actually want for yourself and going for. When you do that, you teach yourself to celebrate and feel satisfied by accomplishment, rather then rake yourself raw over something you don't even really know you want.

Basically, learning to recognize what you actually want for yourself, clearly define what those standards are, and feel extremely happy and celebrate yourself when you manage them. Much in the same way you solve a puzzle in a video game. No one beats themselves up for getting a 'game over', they just get more focused in trying to do whatever is needed to achieve the thing and get to the next part of the game.

[dotssu3]

theyre play fighting. like dogs. :3

[potat0bag]

someone asked for a lore dump of my sea monster au in its current state, so here’s a dump from my alt retrospring a few days ago:

TW: injury, blood mention

Frye (human) lives on a nearby bay and is a fisher with a cute lil boat. One day she gets a tip about some sunken treasure and goes out with the intention and promise of paying off a debt. She takes the map she's given and goes out under the cover of night. It's a long search, but she eventually finds the point marked on the map and lowers a hook to see what she can dislodge. She hooks up something pretty damn heavy and connects the dots and assumes it to be the treasure, but on the way up it seems to snag on something. She tries to wiggle it free of whatever kelp it's caught in, but then it starts getting pulled down. She guesses it's probably just a sea creature and, getting desperate, takes out her harpoon and makes a shot in the dark before the treasure can be pulled away any further. And the water stains darker.

Surprise surprise, she's able to pull up the crate but an injured Shiver comes with it and she's initially alarmed that she shot a diver, but when she hauls them into her lap she realises from scale and tendril that they're decidedly not human. She hit them square in the eye - they're still breathing but are barely conscious when she hauls them up. She looks into the crate and sees that it's weighed down by rock and sediment, not gold or silver. She'd been scammed. She's gonna return empty-handed, unless... she barely considers it for a second before she looks down at the sea monster weakly gazing up at her with one less eye. And she makes a decision. She covers their eyes to try and prevent them from struggling and making the damage worse but it just makes them panic more. "Hold- still- you're gonna hurt yourself more-" and just wedges the handle of an oar between their jaws for them to bite down on assuming it's her arm. The wood cracks beneath their teeth.

Frye does her best with what medical supplies she has to patch them up and remove the spear from their face, and when she uncovers their eyes and pulls away the oar they shove her away and go to dive off before realising they probably won't be able to make their way back home with their limited eyesight. So it's just this silent temporary truce, they don't say a word to her as they guide where to steer and eventually make her halt. Glances at her once, and dives away, supposedly never to be seen again. Frye just feels guilt and- faint longing. It's a fascinating encounter. And it leaves both of them curious.

The next day, she goes out fishing in the noon (having slept in from her late night antics) and something tugs on her line and startles her awake. She goes to reel it in, but a hand comes with it. A familiar, clawed one. She watches the scarred face peek up from the waters, studious gaze barging into her. And they pat the boat. And she lifts them on board, remarking how heavy they are. They snap that they're not, and conversation quickly spirals out, initially panicked and confused, but then. Softening as Shiver asks more and more questions, trying to understand her intentions. She profusely apologises, and they're fascinated by her and become a regular appearance for her.

That's me trying to break it down anyway. They're really cute. Frye has that "shot them in the face with a harpoon" rizz.

[flawlessflesh]

at arm's length

CW: Discussion of CSA and trafficking

I originally wrote this meta in response to a retrospring anon - These are my thoughts on the impact of child abuse on Thistle's ability to form relationships or feel attraction.

Keep in mind as you read that this is based on my personal interpretation of Thistle as a present-day teen who was trafficked for several years before being taken to the golden kingdom. This meta is canon-adjacent, not canon, and can be considered supplementary info for my fics.

-

Thistle has a heaping pile of trauma centered on interpersonal relationships and intimacy. This, along with his lifespan, inhibits him from forming equal relationships with others, and outside of his very small family group he doesn’t feel safe or capable of reaching out to people or letting people in.

He can feel attraction towards others but he shuts it down and doesn’t act on it because it feels like something bad will happen if he does. I consider him to be more comfortable around men than he is with women because he thinks he knows what he can expect from men (men were the main perpetrators of his abuse, but men like Freinag and Delgal are also the most important relationships in his life), but he has no idea what to expect from women. Best to avoid them. Most of his attraction is towards men as well and that complicates things due to the likelihood that these historical fantasy tall-man societies are homophobic - and Thistle isn’t treated like a man but he also isn’t a woman, so is it allowed? Is there something wrong with him for feeling this way? He doesn’t know. It isn't safe. So he keeps it all to himself.

In my timeline, Thistle doesn’t start puberty until a few years before the kingdom is turned into a dungeon. He never has the typical experience of crushes and childhood romance because he has no peers to engage in them with - his slower aging and his race isolate him. Everyone sees the silly little elf jester first and not the person. All he has is the royal family. Delgal goes through puberty, fools around, gets married, and through it all Thistle only understands that behavior like it’s something he’s read about in a book. He's disturbed by it too, having only had negative experiences with human sexuality, as little as he remembers of it. As an aside, I think when Thistle was brought to the castle he briefly had a crush on the king, but it was a child’s harmless emotion directed towards someone safe who he perceived as having saved him. If you’ve ever had a strong attachment towards a teacher or mentor growing up it was like that, and Freinag wasn’t aware of it and did not encourage it.

This is going deep into headcanon territory now. Thistle was trafficked by the troupe master of the traveling performers who had him before he was given to King Freinag. Thistle has suppressed the entire thing and can’t clearly recall the last twenty years of his life before Freinag. The information he has about that time is what people later told him (“your parents abandoned you”, “you were part of a traveling troupe”, “you already knew how to play the flute and follow instructions well”, etc). Freinag unintentionally replicates the emotional abuse that Thistle suffered — he calls Thistle his child but treats him more like a pet who has to perform for approval, and he is overly physically affectionate while neglecting the very real parental needs Thistle has as a young child. Thistle's hurt is like a barely scabbed over wound that keeps being picked at until it bleeds again.

Thistle grows up with an incorrect idea of how adults are allowed to treat him which leads to wariness towards everyone who is not the immediate royal family. They’re safe, they don’t do anything bad, but he can’t trust anyone else. Plus - he doesn’t like when strangers single him out for being an elf. He wants to fit in so badly and instead they invade his space and point out how he’s different and are always reaching for his ears. The few times he feels attraction he suppresses it on instinct without trying to understanding what it is or what prompted it. He doesn’t want to feel drawn to anyone he isn’t already close to. It’s a self-preservation mechanism and a reaction to the abuse he suffered, and after a while the curiosity is blocked off altogether.

In a post-canon future where he’s found a will to live and is healed to the point where he is interested in meeting new people, I still think he wouldn’t want to have an intimate relationship. It’s like a chasm, a frightening abyss of possibility for new experiences but also for getting hurt, and he has been hurt too many times already. Friendship would be daunting enough - I genuinely think he’d struggle with it - but anything more is equivalent with ruinous loss of control in his mind. Things can get better with time, conscious work, and understanding, but this mindset is where I see him staying for a long while. Thistle doesn’t do well with change or admitting truths to himself that he’s worked very, very hard to suppress.

[yukirayu]

Madarame's Route and the Few of Its Many Mistranslations

I haven't done this in quite some time, but I'll be giving some more TL comparisons between the original JP release and the localization, because an anon from Retrospring shared some tidbits from Madarame's route.

Because they have also explained what nuance got lost, briefly or otherwise, I won't do what I did in my previous posts (compare with MTL) just basically compile each translation discrepancy in a subsequent order, and add their notes in each one.

 Toono: "...Thought he'd never die." 「……しぶとい野郎だ」-> ["......Stubborn bastard."] NOTE: I sense someone is probably holding on to some unresolved resentment, LOL

Towa: "You were always like this. Are you satisfied now that you've ruined my life?" 「あんたは昔からそうだ。引っ掻き回して満足か？」　-> ["You have always been like this. Are you satisfied with the violent chaos you caused?"] NOTE: 引っ掻き回して appears to be an idiom meaning to "disrupt order through violence."

Madarame: "To hang out with friends." 「うろついてる連中と遊ぶんだよ」​ -> ["I'm going to play around with the people hanging around."] NOTE: Madarame has nobody he'd call a friend so the English line seems so out of place that it was easy to notice.

Madarame: "We had a lot more fights after that. Sometimes we came close to killing each other for real. But he still didn't back down." 「それからも喧嘩して、半殺しにしてやった時もあった。だが、アイツはそれでも向かってきた」 -> ["We'd fight from then on, and there was a time I beaten him half to death. However he'd still come at me."] NOTE: Well, someone was envious of Madarame's absolute power. LMAO

Madarame: "Stoop to an idiot's level and he'll beat you with experience, you know. Then after that..." 「馬鹿の相手をしても時間の無駄だからな。そうしたら……」 -> ["Because it's a waste of time to deal with idiots. Afterwards......"] NOTE: The English line is some dumb phrase I've seen on the internet. I get the feeling that the phrase was used against the person who put it there. XD

Towa: "...If I was a chick, I'd have ditched you by now." 「……俺が女なら腰が砕けてるところだ」 -> ["If I was a woman then my knees would have given way.] NOTE 1: 腰が砕けてる seems to be an idiom, it could mean like what it literally says, or to collapse/give up/lose one's nerve/to have one's knee's give way. NOTE 2: Wouldn't be surprised if the people who changed it hated Madarame (that's the impression I get), I just find that hilarious that they'd probably be seething and crying over a fictional character. Madarame ain't real, but he is already giving real people slow damage. LMAO.

I have to say though, it's rather obvious that while the one behind the localization seemed to dislike almost everyone with how their dialogues got butchered, Madarame's route really takes the cake, or whatever is the most unpleasant dish you can think of, in this case.

A JP-fluent of mine also mentioned how Madarame's route got the worst of the questionable translation choices, saying that Madarame's speech doesn't really have him cuss or talk that crassly. And it didn't surprise me that the H-scenes were done poorly, almost deliberately, even.

Now, this was what I replied to that very last statement OP had made, which I felt I should also share here... Even with a proper translation, I can easily see Madarame being divisive among fans either way.

He's meant to be something of an antagonist (not a villain) and while there's an intended goal in his route, said route still isn't exactly the easiest to swallow. Even so, a translator letting their bias affect their translation is already one giant misstep.

[fishfetti]

some t4t satosugu requests from my retrospring!! pre op suguru in the second one, i like to think that it took him a looooong time to be comfortable showing off his chest even in front of satoru. even years after they were friends/lovers he could not bring himself to do it